Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

Finally I found a webpage related to my bug.

The page is from 2004.

*keeps reading*

"Yes, yes! This is exactly the problem I'm having"

*Carefully reading each comments*

*Looking at scroll bar with stress*

*Almost coming to end, no signs of solution*

At the end the thread creator say: "Ah finally I've fixed the problem. Thanks everyone for helping"

*moment of silence*

WHY U NO SHARE THE GOD DAMN SOLUTION? YOU FUCKING IDIOT

I've always tried to live by the philosophy that you should never burn bridges, but my god some recruiters make it very difficult. I've had a handful of occasions where I've had to type out a nasty email to a recruiter and then just not send it after I realized I wouldn't want it getting around/you never know who they known.

The latest incident where I did this was with a recruiter who emailed me 3 times within a week. But my issue wasn't with the amount of emails or even the fact that he was shopping me frontend positions despite my resume clearly stating I'm a backend dev/data engineer.

My issue was... THE GUY FUCKING REFERRED TO HIMSELF AS "BATMAN". That's right - an adult human being so desperate to get the attention of developers that he set his email name to "Batman", signs his emails "Full name - A.K.A. Batman", and lists his phone number like "BatPhone: xxx.xxx.xxxx"

If I didn't find him so pretentious and he actually sent me a kind of relevant position, what would I do? Pick up the phone and call him and say "hey Batman." Jesus fucking Christ. What an absurd gimmick. Maybe I'm overreacting but it seems so childish.

And you know what, if the guy read my resume and sent me relevant stuff I probably would have said "meh, he's doing good work, if he wants to stand out/be silly whatever." But no, he didn't even look at my skills. Instead he thought 3 shitty emails where he called himself Batman would convince me to write back to him.

I was close to sending him a ridiculous response and signing it "Robin", but decided it wasn't worth it.

I once worked until 8am to get a demo ready for a client of the client. I knew the client was a bit thick, so I made some comprehensive video demos and sent them over to him, to save him trying to demo it himself. I wake up at 11am with him screaming down the phone at me:

“It doesn’t work, none of it works!”

“What do you mean?”

“I go to login and I can’t enter anything.”

“I haven’t sent you anything to log into...wait, are you trying to log into a video? Tell me you’re not trying to log into a video of a login page.”

“Uh...oh hang on, it just worked. Ok no pr-“

“No wait, what do you mean it worked?”

“I logged in fine.”

“It’s a video. You can’t log into a video.”

“Uh...alright, bye mate, thanks!”

The moral of the story is: never assume any level of intelligence on the part of a client, even if they exhibit signs of it at first. If they are paying you they will forget how to tie their own shoelaces.

Mother of god, was listening to the US govt hearing of zuckerberg about the recent scandals. The amount of very fucking simple obvious questions he 'could not' answer normally...

Govt person: Would you be willing to change Facebook's business model if this was required for the security and privacy of Facebook users' accounts?

Zuck: I don't understand your question.

Sorry, WHAT?! You don't need particular rocket science to understand what's being asked here. A combination of common sense and knowing the English language and English grammar in combination with maybe having finished some form of education should be enough to understand this ridiculously easy question.

Do you need it written on a golden plate with fucking blue letters in Facebook's font with the S letters as dollar signs while drinking 10 gallons of 'fuck every persons privacy'?!

Or maybe shoving it up your ass in the form of heated/glowing metal letters of 10+ inches in height? We could arrange that as well.

Had a PR blocked yesterday. Oh god, have I introduced a memory leak? Have I not added unit tests? Is there a bug? What horrible thing have I unknowingly done?

... added comments to some code.

Yep apparently “our code needs to be readable without comments, please remove them”.

Time to move on, no signs of intelligent life here.

Who the fuck use Comic Sans on public signs?! :/ 😣

Wait a fucking minute! C# has 4 + symbols in it! Plus signs are combined into a # symbol!

C -> C++ -> C++++

I see it now 🤯

For April Fools at a school I worked for, I printed off one of those "Your printer has been upgraded to be voice activated" signs and put it on their fairly new printer, went into the room opposite and waited. I heard far far too many teachers saying "Copy!" repeatedly, getting more and more agitated before 'manually' copying their document. I had to come clean before I left at lunch time because one of the teachers got quite angry at the prospect of a voice activated photocopier and refused to use it that way. The following year April Fools was on a school holiday so I couldn't pull it in the school I was in that day but i fully expect it to work somewhere else.

It's maddening how few people working with the internet don't know anything about the protocols that make it work. Web work, especially, I spend far too much time explaining how status codes, methods, content-types etc work, how they're used and basic fundamental shit about how to do the job of someone building internet applications and consumable services.

The following has played out at more than one company:

App: "Hey api, I need some data"
API: "200 (plain text response message, content-type application/json, 'internal server error')"
App: *blows the fuck up

*msg service team*

Me: "Getting a 200 with a plaintext response containing an internal server exception"
Team: "Yeah, what's the problem?"
Me: "...200 means success, the message suggests 500. Either way, it should be one of the error codes. We use the status code to determine how the application processes the request. What do the logs say?"
Team: "Log says that the user wasn't signed in. Can you not read the response message and make a decision?"
Me: "That status for that is 401. And no, that would require us to know every message you have verbatim, in this case, it doesn't even deserialize and causes an exception because it's not actually json."
Team: "Why 401?"
Me: "It's the code for unauthorized. It tells us to redirect the user to the sign in experience"
Team: "We can't authorize until the user signs in"
Me: *angermatopoeia* "Just, trust me. If a user isn't logged in, return 401, if they don't have permissions you send 403"
Team: *googles SO* "Internet says we can use 500"
Me: "That's server error, it says something blew up with an unhandled exception on your end. You've already established it was an auth issue in the logs."
Team: "But there's an error, why doesn't that work?"
Me: "It's generic. It's like me messaging you and saying, "your service is broken". It doesn't give us any insight into what went wrong or *how* we should attempt to troubleshoot the error or where it occurred. You already know what's wrong, so just tell me with the status code."
Team: "But it's ok, right, 500? It's an error?"
Me: "It puts all the troubleshooting responsibility on your consumer to investigate the error at every level. A precise error code could potentially prevent us from bothering you at all."
Team: "How so?"
Me: "Send 401, we know that it's a login issue, 403, something is wrong with the request, 404 we're hitting an endpoint that doesn't exist, 503 we know that the service can't be reached for some reason, 504 means the service exists, but timed out at the gateway or service. In the worst case we're able to triage who needs to be involved to solve the issue, make sense?"
Team: "Oh, sounds cool, so how do we do that?"
Me: "That's down to your technology, your team will need to implement it. Most frameworks handle it out of the box for many cases."
Team: "Ah, ok. We'll send a 500, that sound easiest"
Me: *..l.. -__- ..l..* "Ok, let's get into the other 5 problems with this situation..."

Moral of the story: If this is you: learn the protocol you're utilizing, provide metadata, and stop treating your customers like shit.

*creates a freelancer account on some website.
*builds portfolio and gets things running.
*meets his first client.

Client: Hello. so your profile says you are an experienced full stack developer. You are just the kind of person i've been looking for.

Me: Yep.

Client: Okay I have a project for you. I am looking at developing a simple website that has a few functions and the budget is 100$.

Me: Okay smooth. Hit me with the descriptions.

Client: it's going to be a dating website. Once a user signs up; the website would automatically take control of the user's media devices in his/her home; automatically playing something romantic. You get me?

Me: Em... Idk about that it seems a bit...

Client: it can be done! Develop the algorithm.

Me: Em... Ok.

Client: Well, next the website uses some complex sorting algorithm and sorts existing members based on their past real life relationships. It puts the best people above the messy ones.

Me: o.0

*client goes on with his bullshit in like another 10 lines of messages.

Me: -_-

Client: so what do you think? How soon can you begin and how soon can we be done?

Me: Do you also want a "butt scratcher" feature? Like a hand pops out of the monitor and asks to scratch the user's anus?

*client leaves the chat.

Me: Oh. I guess he a thing against family guy.

RANT Incoming
Not necessarily dev related but I need to get this off my chest.

So a bit of a backstory. I had to stay late from school the other day and ended up having to take an Uber home. The ride was fine lady was nice. Everything seems to be going well and there were no signs of any payment failure.

Then yesterday, I had to stay late again. I never said that I had an outstanding balance on my account. Apparently Uber was having problems charging my Android pay account.
So I ended up being stuck at school for like 3 hours. Great!😑

So I emailed Uber when I got home. And this is when I started pulling my hair out. I don't know how many replies I had, but each time I had to tell them that I was not using a prepaid card.

This was one of my replies:
"I'm sorry, are you real? If you are, here is a quick summary of the issue. I am using ANDROID PAY with my CHASE DEBIT CARD. Not, NOT, NOT a prepaid card. I happen to know that CHASE DEBIT CARD(which is the card I use, in case you have already forgotten) works with uber because MY FATHER USES THE EXACT SAME TYPE OF CARD with uber. He uses a CHASE DEBIT CARD(again I use that same type of card as well). So by using LOGIC I am able to deduce that a CHASE DEBIT CARD is in fact compatible. AGAIN THIS IS NOT A PREPAID CARD!!! If the card is incompatible, WHY DOES THE APP ALLOW BE TO ADD IT?!?! Also in response to your last email... Because I am using Android pay, do you really think that an ANDROID would be able to use APPLE pay? Also Google wallet is DISCONTINUED! Finally, PayPal DOES NOT CONNECT TO UBER. Returns a "Server Error." So please stop wasting my time with generic help solutions. Believe me, I have already googled my issue, and nothing comes up. That is why I contacted Uber. I want my driver to be paid, and, uber had made it SO painful with unhelpful "Solutions" to problems that don't even APPLY TO MY ISSUE. No not even mention PREPAID cards in your reply or I will consider you a robot built by monkeys banging their heads on a keyboard. Uber HAS my VALID payment information, USE IT! If there is a phone number I can call, please, enlighten me"

And the response was:
"Thanks for reaching out with this.

Happy to help with this issue you are having.

After reviewing your I can see that the only payment method associated with your account is an ANDROID PAY card and it is also a prepaid card. Some cards and methods are not compatible with our billing processes and can't be used with Uber. This includes prepaid cards."

So I concluded that they are monkeys.

Then Uber banned me from logging into my account because I didn't pay.
So now it is impossible for me to pay because I can't do anything with my account.

Now they want my SSN and a bunch of other shit that I won't give them.

I told them that they were being illogical, and I got the exact same response about the prepaid bullshit.

So I sent them this photo as a goodbye.

I get my driver's licence next weekend, so I won't need Uber anymore. YAY!

Also mind grammatical errors, I talked it in and am to lazy to proofread

*signs up for Skillshare*
> Sorry, your password is longer than our database's glory hole can handle.
> Please shorten your password cumload to only 64 characters at most, otherwise our database will be unhappy.

Motherf-...

Well, I've got a separate email address from my domain and a unique password for them. So shortening it and risking getting that account stolen by plaintext shit won't really matter, especially since I'm not adding payment details or anything.

*continues through the sign-up process for premium courses, with "no attachments, cancel anytime"*
> You need to provide a credit card to continue with our "free" premium trial.

Yeah fuck you too. I don't even have a credit card. It's quite uncommon in Europe, you know? We don't have magstripe shit that can go below 0 on ya.. well the former we still do but only for compatibility reasons. We mainly use chip technology (which leverages asymmetric cryptography, awesome!) that usually can't go much below 0 here nowadays. Debit cards, not credit cards.

Well, guess it's time to delete that account as well. So much for acquiring fucking knowledge from "experts". Guess I'll have to stick to reading wikis and doing my ducking-fu to select reliable sources, test them and acquire skills of my own. That's how I've done it for years, and that's how it's been working pretty fucking well for me. Unlike this deceptive security clusterfuck!

Manager: we use <teaming meeting service> for all of our team meetings.
Me: cool I'll go to the site and join the meeting.
Me: [using opera as default browser]
Service: [doesn't work with opera]
Me: [not really surprised, tries firefox]
Service: I need java to run me.
Me: I have java.
Firefox: yeah but I don't.
Me: why?
Firefox: 'cause we're phasing it out.
Me: [looking for some kind of plugin]
Internet: [tldr Firefox can only use 32bit java if it must use java]
Me: [installs 32 bit java]
Firefox: nah.
Me: waht?
Firefox: [covering its eyes] I can't see anything
Me: it's right there.
Firefox: ...
Me: ...
Firefox: ...
Me: ... please?
Firefox: ...nah...
Me: [checks service supported browsers]
Service: on Linux: ONLY FIREFOX
Me: .... fuck...
Me: [downloads Linux-32 distro]
Me: [runs as vm]
Me: [installs Firefox esr]
Me: [installs java-32]
Me: [manually creates plugin for Firefox to recognize java]
Me: [logs onto service and signs in]
Service: Meeting concluded 26 minutes ago.

Last week
Customer: I want <totally useless app idea that already exists>, how long will it take to build it?
Me: I think such an app already exists, but according to your requirements I believe we could finish it around May 6th.
Customer: OK, but our app will be so much better.
-finishes meeting and signs contract-

Monday
Customer: will the app be done soon?
Me: as we discussed in the meeting last week, it won’t be done until May 6th.

Tuesday
Customer: will the app be done soon, when will it be in the app stores?
Me: As I explained yesterday, it won’t be finished before May 6th.

Wtf????

I don't care how secure google captcha is. It sucks.

* select street signs *
* select bus images *
* select again *
* still error *

Every single time

Sales manager: Hi all, we are launching a new internal hackathon. Form up a team with the right expertise to help with address the problem statement and get going!

Me: what’s the problem statement?

Sales manager: you have to sign up first. There’s proprietary company info with our plans for next year involved. You have to agree to terms and conditions before continuing. Legal say so.

Me:

*signs up*,
*fills in docU-sign*,
*clicks through 3 other screens*

Ok let’s see this problem statement.

“What new and magical customer experience can you create and launch to win in our markets”

... that’s not a fucking problem statement ... and why the fuck does that require filling out a docu-sign form to see?

I REALLY fucking hate legal / sales people. Wasting everyone’s time.

Paypal Rant #3

One day I'll go to Paypal HQ and...
... change all the toilet rolls to face the wrong way
... remap all the semicolons to be the Greek equivalent character
... change all the door signs so they say "pull" instead of "push" and vice versa
... modify all the stairs to have variable heights
... programmatically shuffle the elevator buttons and randomly assign the alarm key to any of the most visited floors
... pour cocoa onto all the keyboards and wipe them off cleanly
... attach clear duct tape over their mouse sensors and insert really weak batteries or mess with their cables

I'll wait a day or two until they experience a sudden shortage of developers, then bombard them with thousands of fake applications from seemingly amazing candidates, then write an AI bot to continue argumentation with HR.

I'll wait another week or so until the company dissolves and with them, all my issues in life.

No need to be overly vulgar this time because you all know the deal. I hate this fucking company. Please Paypal do us all a favor and go fuck yourself.

I have this little hobby project going on for a while now, and I thought it's worth sharing. Now at first blush this might seem like just another screenshot with neofetch.. but this thing has quite the story to tell. This laptop is no less than 17 years old.

So, a Compaq nx7010, a business laptop from 2004. It has had plenty of software and hardware mods alike. Let's start with the software.

It's running run-off-the-mill Debian 9, with a custom kernel. The reason why it's running that version of Debian is because of bugs in the network driver (ipw2200) in Debian 10, causing it to disconnect after a day or so. Less of an issue in Debian 9, and seemingly fixed by upgrading the kernel to a custom one. And the kernel is actually one of the things where you can save heaps of space when you do it yourself. The kernel package itself is 8.4MB for this one. The headers are 7.4MB. The stock kernels on the other hand (4.19 at downstream revisions 9, 10 and 13) took up a whole GB of space combined. That is how much I've been able to remove, even from headless systems. The stock kernels are incredibly bloated for what they are.

Other than that, most of the data storage is done through NFS over WiFi, which is actually faster than what is inside this laptop (a CF card which I will get to later).

Now let's talk hardware. And at age 17, you can imagine that it has seen quite a bit of maintenance there. The easiest mod is probably the flash mod. These old laptops use IDE for storage rather than SATA. Now the nice thing about IDE is that it actually lives on to this very day, in CF cards. The pinout is exactly the same. So you can use passive IDE-CF adapters and plug in a CF card. Easy!

The next thing I want to talk about is the battery. And um.. why that one is a bad idea to mod. Finding replacements for such old hardware.. good luck with that. So your other option is something called recelling, where you disassemble the battery and, well, replace the cells. The problem is that those battery packs are built like tanks and the disassembly will likely result in a broken battery housing (which you'll still need). Also the controllers inside those battery packs are either too smart or too stupid to play nicely with new cells. On that laptop at least, the new cells still had a perceived capacity of the old ones, while obviously the voltage on the cells themselves didn't change at all. The laptop thought the batteries were done for, despite still being chock full of juice. Then I tried to recalibrate them in the BIOS and fried the battery controller. Do not try to recell the battery, unless you have a spare already. The controllers and battery housings are complete and utter dogshit.

Next up is the display backlight. Originally this laptop used to use a CCFL backlight, which is a tiny tube that is driven at around 2000 volts. To its controller go either 7, 6, 4 or 3 wires, which are all related and I will get to. Signs of it dying are redshift, and eventually it going out until you close the lid and open it up again. The reason for it is that the voltage required to keep that CCFL "excited" rises over time, beyond what the controller can do.

So, 7-pin configuration is 2x VCC (12V), 2x enable (on or off), 1x adjust (analog brightness), and 2x ground. 6-pin gets rid of 1 enable line. Those are the configurations you'll find in CCFL. Then came LED lighting which required much less power to run. So the 4-pin configuration gets rid of a VCC and a ground line. And finally you have the 3-pin configuration which gets rid of the adjust line, and you can just short it to the enable line.

There are some other mods but I'm running out of characters. Why am I telling you all this? The reason is that this laptop doesn't feel any different to use than the ThinkPad x220 and IdeaPad Y700 I have on my desk (with 6c12t, 32G of RAM, ~1TB of SSDs and 2TB HDDs). A hefty setup compared to a very dated one, yet they feel the same. It can do web browsing, I can chat on Telegram with it, and I can do programming on it. So, if you're looking for a hobby project, maybe some kind of restrictions on your hardware to spark that creativity that makes code better, I can highly recommend it. I think I'm almost done with this project, and it was heaps of fun :D

Less rant, more story.

Tl;Dr: Disney uses "Magic Bands" to track every action of every person within their parks.

So I took my family to Disney World this past summer and we got these "nifty" little things called Magic Bands. These things are little wrist devices that basically handle everything for you in the parks. It unlocks your resort room, it gets you into the parks, you pay for meals and souvenirs with it by connecting a credit card and/or your meal plan. It makes things real simple as it's like putting on your watch each day.

At first I kinda enjoyed how easy it made everything on the trip, but then as we were exiting a ride the couple in front of us noticed the digital signs had their names on them, I looked around and noticed mine too, a sign that said "have a good day $myName." It suddenly clicked. These "Magic Bands" are people trackers. Suddenly everything about the park that I had been enjoying, was part of the system they had in place using these bands as human cattle tags. The ride wait time estimations were perfect, not because of a good algorithm and estimations, but because they had actual real data telling them when a person entered the line and got off the ride.

Using a BLE scanner app I was able to see that they have hundreds of APs throughout the parks tracking every single band on every single person withing their compound. I started to think about all of the data they're collecting and the thought of it was overwhelming. The amount of assumptions they can make about people based on their actions within their parks and what that data would be worth to additional advertisers. By the end of the trip I was cynically pointing out everything to my family about the cattle tags and how much I hated wearing it and yet it was required in order to do anything.

tl;dr; I've worked 117.5h/week for a month because of a project lead that doesn't understand what I do despite countless attempts at explaining

So, once a year I do this large project for a voluntary organization, it takes me about 80h (and this is of course on top of my normal work and voluntary engagement (60-80h/week))

This year, I realized I don't have as much spare time as I used to, so I emailed the project lead several months in advance like "hey, you know that I do all my work on this before the rest of you start working on it, and you know I need you to sit down for about an hour and put together the list of things I need to know to get this done properly. Could you please do that a bit earlier than usual, a week or two extra would make a big difference", they replied "absolutely, no problem!"

Time went by, and about two weeks before I wanted that info I emailed a small reminder. Shit me not, a month later, after a countless amount of reminders I finally get a half finnished version of the list I need, note that this is two weeks before I'm supposed to be done. Which is fine, it's the usual timespan, not what I hoped for as I hoped for an extra two weeks, but not too late either.

Then shit starts to happen

I reply to the list I've gotten with some requests for the project lead to complete some of the information, to which I receive multiple replies with different answers to the same questions, okay, that's fine, I'll just use the last answer.(?)

So, I finnish the thing on time, clocking out on a total of 117.5h of work per week, two weeks in a row. Still fine, it's just two weeks.

Release day!

I arrive at the release meeting, and is greeted by the project lead handing me two papers with the words "we haven't been able to look through your work yet to make sure it's like we want it, but we sat down yesterday and here's a list of how we want things to be". So I remind them that the thing is supposed to be done that day, and that it takes me 80h to redo, and those papers will require me to redo everything from scratch. To which the project lead responds "but it doesn't have to be finnished until December, right?"

That is not true, not at all, in any way.

See, there are 600 people that depend on this project, and they need, yes, need to be able to access it from the day it's launched every year. That is an absolute requirement.

So after trying to tell this project lead, for multiple years, how much time I devote to this project (for free) every year, during a short period of time, and after trying countless times to explain why it has to be done when the project is released, I became quite irritated.

So, during the two weeks that have passed since, I've been receiving about 200 emails from people wondering why the thing isn't finished yet and why they can't use it. (forwarded every single one of them to the project lead) and have been redoing it all during the past two weeks, from scratch.

I'm finally done, I released it yesterday, finally! I accompanied it with a bitter email to the project lead.

Because seriously, this is the worst respect for both my time and the people that should use the project's time in all of those years I've been doing this. This year, I've been ignored multiple times; they've shat on my work because it didn't live up to their expectations, even tough they never told me their expectations; I've been misinformed etc.

And now it's starting to get to me, this is the first weekend in a month when I've been able to shut down my laptop, sit down, drink a cup of tea, read a fricking book, chat with some friends etc, and most importantly, sleep. Signs of the stress I've had for a month now is starting to remind themselves.

And there's this little though nagging me in the back of my head: if the project lead would've worked for an hour in September I would've had to do half the job I ended up doing, on double the time. I hate realizing that they don't give a shit about my part of this, even tough I do half the work.

Then why do I continue, year after year? Because I feel that those 600 people that benefit from this really deserve it! But why does there have to be a dick project lead in the middle that makes me feel sick working on the thing I love the most!

So, as I'm not really used to ranting like this, i have to add that I really have no point with this rant. Just had to get it off my chest!

>>signs up for GitHub student pack
>>Approved almost instantly
>>Looks at what's included
>>See a .me domain from namecheap is free
>>"yo that's lit. Lemme see if they have one I want"
>>Finds domain
>>"Good shit man. I'll finally have a reason to make my own website"
>>Go to checkout
>>Asks for school email address
>>Enters address
>>"it seems your University is not included in this."
>>Fuck me man

When I was in college I built websites for my friends but they never gave me any content. Now, 15 years later I build websites and applications for my clients, and they never give me content. I should have seen the signs.

*Signs in to Outlook*

"You signed out of your account.
It's a good idea to close all browser windows."

Just spent like ten minutes searching why my api always returned false.
I forgot, that I am using Java and therefore cant compare strings using equal signs 🤦‍♂️

The bossman asked if our signup service sends an automated email after we successfully process someone's payment or when we promote them to full customer.

That sounds like a simple query, yeah?

Well.

Here's some background:

We have four applications; one in React, three in Rails. I'll replace their names to retain some anonymity.
1) "IceSkate" is the React app, and it's a glorified signup form. (I wrote this one.)
2) "Bogan" is the main application, and is API-only; its frontend has been long since deprecated by the following two:
3) "Bum" is a fork of "Bogan" that has long since diverged. It now contains admin-only tools.
4) "Kulkuri" is also a fork of "Bogan" that has long since diverged. It now contains tools specifically for customers, which they can access.

All but IceSkate (obv) share a database.

Here's how signups happen:

Signups come in from IceSkate, which hits a backend API on Bogan. Bogan writes the data to the database, charges the card immediately, and leaves the signup for moderation.

And here's how promotion from signup to customer happens:

Bum has a view allowing admins to validate, modify, and "promote" a signup to a full customer. Upon successful promotion, Bum calls "ServerWrap", a module which calls actions on the other applications; in this case: Bogan.

Bogan routes execution through three separate models before calling "ServerWrap" again, this time calling KulKuri.

Finally, KulKuri actually creates the customer!

After KulKuri finishes creating the customer, execution resumes on Bogan, which then returns, causing execution to resume on Bum. Bum then runs through several other models, references the newly-created customer object (as all three share a database), and ... updates the customer with its current data, and then updates the signup object. After all of this, it finally shows the admin the "new customer" view.

It took me 25 minutes to follow the chain of calls, and I still don't know quite what's going on. I have no idea if any of it sends an email or not -- I didn't see any signs of this, but I very easily could have overlooked something.

So, to answer bossman's question... I asked the accounting people if they send the email manually. If they don't, it's automatic, which means I missed something and get to burrow through that mess all over again!

I really hope I missed something; otherwise I need to figure out how and where (and when!) to send the email...

just...
errrrgghh

Just saw a blue screen of death In the top of a taxi cab. Had no idea these kind of signs were running Windows. Why are so many companies buying licenses for Windows when they could so easily use Linux ?

Root has a deadline

I've been working on this CCPA ticket for awhile. Admittedly too long, but I'm new to the codebase and it's fucking sprawling. There has also been a lot of back-and-forth on the ticket.

Anyway, I've had a few blockers, such as how mailers work, the legal copy, where to put a admin-facing link to the dashboard, how to build the jira integration (and its creds), etc.

Quite awhile ago I asked Mr. Product, "Where should I put the ccpa dashboard link?" To which he responds: "I'll get you the answer today!" Awesome. Except he didn't. That day came and went without a peep. So, the next day I ask again: "Where should I put the ccpa dashboard link?" To which he responds: "I'll get you the answer today!" And that day comes and goes, too. I ask again, and you guessed it: "I'll get you the answer today." Repeat ad nauseam.

I also asked about the Jira integration and credentials. I got about the same treatment as above, but with a tiwst: they tell me to talk to / continue to bug Mr. H instead. Except Mr. H had been on PTO for weeks. Every time I ask, they keep referring me to him. A little over two weeks later (yesterday), I finally got a response from him. Yay! I was preoccupied with finishing the dashboard (which wasn't in the original ticket for some reason) so I didn't get a chance to look into it yet. After asking his boss three times, Mr. Product also finally (!!!) gave me a response on the link placement today, too! Though not directly: he discussed it with said boss in a group chat that I'm a part of, but never tagged me or told me directly. So, now I know where to put it (I think), but I have no idea how that area of the site is built (it's dynamic based on domain, login, and roles), so adding it will still be difficult.

The best part:

Today during standup, some lady I've only rarely seen before attends the meeting, doesn't say anything until the very end, and then announces that everything must be code-complete by tomorrow for release, and then promptly signs off.

For fuck's sake. I've had blockers on this for weeks, and now I need to finish it by fucking tonight?

I still don't know how to build the mailers (because translations and formats), nor how to actually send emails using them. I don't know how to modify the footer (dynamic, complex), how to add the admin-facing link (dynamic, complex), nor how build a Jira integration (haven't even looked yet). I just got unblocked on two of these fucking today. and it needs to be done and code reviewed by tomorrow?

No bloody way.
Maybe I should go back to my previous job. 😡

Root has standup.

Root: I had no ticket yesterday morning, so I followed up on <TicketA> with <PersonA> and updated it in Jira and linked its related tickets; talked with <PersonB> about <TicketB>, and reviewed code review comments on <TicketC>, and thought about those while looking into the CI spec failure on <TicketD>. I collapsed for 3 hours before fixing it. Halfway through the collapse, I talked with <PersonC> on <TicketC> CR comments and the spec issue in <TicketD>, then went to lay down again. Afterward, I solved the spec issue in <TicketD>, and started on the new ticket <TicketE> before calling it a day. Plans today are to <…>.

Manager, in private: I need you to proactively let me know if you’re taking long breaks and aren’t working as this impacts business flow.

—————

Yeah.

My update was four times longer than the others’ despite her not giving me a ticket to work on. I responded to slack while I was collapsed on the floor and discussed tickets. And, after I recovered, I went back to work to finish my 8h shift. But this isn’t good enough? And I need to let her know in advance when I’m going to collapse and be a bloody mental zombie for hours? It would be amazing if I knew. I barely have a few minutes notice, and that’s only if I’m really paying attention and looking for signs.

And (conjecture) she probably still thinks I’m not performing well enough. “Affecting our business flow” probably means she’s angry I didn’t talk to other people about low-priority <TicketE> yesterday while I was laying on the damned floor.

Goddamn I hate her.

So yesterday our team got a new toy. A big ass 4k screen to display some graphs on. Took a while to assemble the stand, hang the TV on that stand, but we got there.

So our site admin gets us a new HDMI cable. Coleague told us his lappy supports huge screens as he used to plug his home TV in his work lappy while WFHing. He grabs that HDMI, plugs one end into the screen, another - into his lappy and

.. nothing...
Windows does not recognize any new devices connected. The screen does not show any signs of any changes. Oh well..

Site IT admin installs all the updates, all the new drivers, upgrades BIOS and gives another try.

Nothing.

So naturally the cable is to blame. The port is working for him at home, so it's sure not port's fault. Also he uses his 2-monitor setup at work, so the port is 100% working!

I'm curious. What if..... While they are busy looking for another cable, I take that first one, plug it into my Linux (pretty much stock LinuxMint installation w/ X) lappy,

3.. 2.. 1..

and my desktop is now on the big ass 4k fat screen.

Folks. Enough bitching about Linux being picky about the hardware and Windows being more user friendly, having PnP and so. I'm not talking about esoteric devices. I'm talking about BAU devices that most of home users are using. A monitor, a printer, a TV screen, a scanner, wireless/usb speaker/mouse/keyboard/etc...
Linux just works. Face it

P.S. today they are still trying to make his lappy work with that TV screen. No luck yet.

Shower Thought :
maybe i need to call JS equal signs like this :
x = 3; // x is 3 now
x == 3; // does x is equal to 3 ?
x === 3; // does x is Fucking equal to 3?

My son has started learning javascript at school, but he is complaining that all the $ signs are ugly! Yep, they're teaching the kids with jquery.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry 😱😱😱

Client: *Signs Up* We didn't receive email notification
Me: Okay, we'll check.
*checked if a sign up record is saved*
*checked logs*
*everything is working*
*checked mailing statistics, found 1 email bounced*
...
Me: Are you sure you're using the correct email address?
Client: *tried to sign up again*
Me: *monitors database record, found out that they use incorrect domain on their email address*
Also me: (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Why the fuck do people have to be fucking lazy as hell? There is a dishwasher in the kitchen. Please put your fucking dirty dishes there and NOT ABOVE on the tray!
Also when you take a dump at the toilets: BE FUCKING QUIET! You sound like you are fucked from behind by a T-Rex! You can breath without making sounds!
And for christ sake: If you come into the bathroom please check the fucking signs on the locks BEFORE you try to enter! It is annoying as hell to sit there minding my own business while some douchebag tries to enter my rest room!

Apparently IT includes fixing the lights and repairing the wall signs.

I am building an ecommerce site and the client is asking me to hide the product prices because he doesn't want his competitors to see his prices. He also thinks it is a smart move not to allow users create an account and use it immediately. He wants to manually approve every user that signs up.
Why do people who know nothing always argue with us when it comes to our job?

Continued from pervious Rant.

The Drone sends out a signal to the Headquarters. A "Rare Entity Found" alert shows up on the screen. "Quick, load the map", says the General. Map shows the current location of the Drone. "Dispatch the Team", signals the General while his forehead show signs of tension.

Further down the room, a man quickly types on his phone and hides it.

Far from all this, in a quite city where the street lights have faded away. Old buildings which look like they are about to fall and crumble. The sound of wind can be heard for miles as there is silence all around. A light from one of building's room is turned on and quickly turned off. A man, checks his phone in sleep. Awakens and pours a glass of water to drink. Quenching his thirst, he opens his laptop. Laptop's light is the only light illuminating his room. He again gives a second look at his phone. The message is still there.
"It has been found"

I'm in my second call from hell today. Passed off first to a teammate to run a meeting. First one started 10 hours ago, this started 5 hours ago. Neither are related. Neither show signs of resolving.

Other teammate is on the same call that started 2 days ago.

Who the hell pissed Murphy off?

Indian web dev companies suck ( for developers )

when I finished 3 year grad program in computer application here in my country (India), I thought life's gonna be fun working as a developer. Oh boy, I was so wrong.

I started out working for a small service based IT company, followed by 2 more. I realized really quickly that they're nothing short of a scam. If your company's only agenda to somehow survive in the market and showing no signs of growth in 8 fucking years, then I'm sorry you're working for scamsters.

Now I'm not saying that all of them are alike. But most of them sorta are.

They don't give a shit about quality, not one bit. Quality means no money in the short run. And they haven't been able to develop any strategy to deal with that. Hence, no growth.

They promise 100 things on their website but only provide shitty services in 10.

There is no pair programming, no code review, no code quality check, no architect, no database designer. They won't give you extra time to write test cases. They use git as a storage device.

They don't put their developers (especially the ones who are learning) under any sort of managed development framework to ensure smooth work.

At the end of the day, their main objective is to somehow NOT deliver a project but finish a milestone and make money out of it.

After cashing out for a milestone, they want you to put your current project on hold and start working on a new project until you have like 10-15 projects in the pipeline and you're severely overwhelmed and you just wanna fucking QUIT.

They would say YES to literally every fucking thing, only to disappoint the client later.

I can't believe someone in the US, or UK thought it'd be a good idea to approach these companies
for their brand new app ideas. They're so fucked.

They're rarely finishing any project.

I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I had to get it out of my system.

Best part about the covid19 manufactured crisis?
Liquor stores deliver. Worst part about liquor stores delivering? Needing to use their shoddy websites.

I've been using a particular store (Total Wines) since they're cheaper than the rest and have better selection; it's quite literally a large warehouse made to look like a store.

Their website tries really hard to look professional, too, but it's just not. It took me two days to order, and not just from lack of time -- though from working 14 hour days, that's a factor.

Signing up was difficult. Your username is an email address, but you can't use comments because the server 500s, making the ajax call produce a wonderfully ambiguous error message. It also fades the page out like it's waiting on something, but that fade is on top of the error modal too. Similar error with the password field, though I don't remember how I triggered it.

Signing up also requires agreeing to subscribe to their newsletter. it's technically an opt-in, but not opting-in doesn't allow you to proceed. Same with opting-in to receiving a text notification when your order is ready for pickup -- you also opt-in to reciving SMS spam.

Another issue: After signing up, you start to navigate through the paginated product list. Every page change scrolls you to the exact middle of the next page. Not deliberatly; the UI loads first, and the browser gets as close as it can to your previous position -- which was below that as the pagination is at the bottom -- and then the products populate after. But regardless of why, there is no worse place to start because now you must scroll in both directions to view the products. If it stayed at the very bottom, it would at least mean you only need to scroll upwards to look at everything on the page. Minor, but increasingly irritating.

Also, they have like 198 pages of spirits alone because each size is unique entry. A 50ml, 350ml, 500ml, 750ml, 1000ml, and 1750ml bottle of e.g. Tito's vodka isn't one product, it's six. and they're sorted seemingly randomly. I think it's by available stock, looking back.

If you fancy a product, you can click on it for a detail page. Said detail page lists the various sizes in a dropdown, but they're not sorted correctly either, and changing sizes triggers a page reload, which leads to another problem:

if you navigate to more than a few pages within a 10 or so second window, the site accuses you of using browser automation. No captcha here, just a "click me for five seconds" button. However, it (usually) also triggers the check on every other tab you have open after its next nagivation.

That product page also randomly doesn't work. I haven't narrowed it down, but it will randomly decide to start failing, and won't stop failing for hours. It renders the page just fine, then immediately replaces it with a blank page. When it's failing, the only way to interact with the page is a perfectly-timed [esc], which can (and usually does) break all other page functionality, too. Absolutely great when you need to re-add everything from a stale copy of your signed-out cart living in another tab. More on that later. And don't forget to slow down to bypass the "browser automation" check, too!

Oh, and if you're using container tabs, make sure to open new tabs in the SAME container, as any request from the same IP without the login cookie will usually trigger that "browser automation" response, too.

The site also randomly signs you out, but allows you to continue amassing your cart. You'd think this is a good thing until you choose to sign in again... which empties your cart. It's like they don't want to make a sale at all.

The site also randomly forgets your name, replacing it with "null." My screen currently says "Hello, null". Hello, cruft!

It took me two days to order.
Mostly from lack of time, as i've been pulling 14 hour shifts lately trying to get everything done. but the sheer number of bugs certainly wasted most of what little time i had left. Now I definitely need a drink.

But maybe putting up with all of this is worthwhile because of their loyalty program? Apparently if you spend $500, you can take $5 off your next purchase! Yay! 1%! And your points expire! There are three levels; maybe it gets better. Level zero is for everyone; $0 requirement. There are also levels at $500 and $2500. That last one is seriously 5x more than the first paid level. and what does it earn you? A 'free' magazine subscription, 'free' classes (they're usually like $20-$50 iirc), and a 'free' grab bag (a $2.99 value!) twice per month. All for spending $2500. What a steal. It reminds me of Candy Crush's 3-star system where the first two stars are trivial, and the third is usually a difficult stretch goal. But here it's just thinly-veiled manipulation with no benefit.

I can tell they're employing some "smarketing" people with big ideas (read: stolen mistakes), but it's just such a fail.

The whole thing is a fail.

- Project for a 40+b$ company.
- No business analysis.
- Only some 64 pages tech paper dividing the project in 4 iterations (pretty well written).
- « Please estimate the first iteration ».
- Can we do it in 2 weeks? Only items in first iteration, I think we can but we need a BA before we accept the project.
- Confirmed by senior dev front. 10 days, says we need a BA before we accept.
- Confirmed by senior dev back. 12 days, says we need a BA before we accept.
- UX/UI senior designer says he can't estimate such a technical, says we defo need a BA before any estimations.

PM, who is actually the department manager, says OK we can do it. No BA and estimations are halved, UI/UX 2 days.

He fucking signs the contract.

SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER, WE NEED STUFF FROM FUTURE ITERATIONS IF WE DON'T WANT TO THROW AWAY ALL THE FIRST ITER WORK.

PROJECT BECOME A CLUSTERFUCK.
NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ANYTHING. THE CLIENT HAS NO CLUE EITHER.

The fucking dep. mgr assigns another PM and says he don't have time anymore.

NOBODY HAS A CLUE WHAT THE PROJECT IS AT THIS POINT.

We have 3 days left.

Whole team came to a conclusion: the only sane thing to do is to give our grouped resignation letters.

Thanks. It was fun while it lasted. Your dep. can go to hell.

Please google, stop the recaptcha madness...I'm sitting here for 30 minutes, clicking on road signs

it can be the most interesting article in the world, but if you ask me to confirm cookies, to enable notifications and to disable my adblock or subscribe to your aWeSoMe newsletter at the same time I'm not interested in spending any more time on your site

oh and also, FUCK YOU, return your degree, resign and FUCK OFF

Okay, Google. I can see why you want me to check those boxes with cars. And I'm also fine with you telling me to do it on a different picture if the first one didnt had any, just to check. But WHAT I AM FUCKING NOT OKAY WITH, IS ME SOLVING CAPTCHAS FOR 10 FUCKING MINUTES REPETEDLY SAYING PLEASE TRY AGAIN AND THEN TELLING ME THAT I AM NOT EVEN ABLE TO TRY AGAIN BECAUSE OF AN DETECTED ATTEMPT OF BOTTING? WHO ARE YOU? AN AI QUESTONING MY HUMAN IDENTITY? JUST BECAUSE IM USING LINUX YOU DECIDE TO GIVE ME ANOTHER NOTHERFUCKING BATCH OF STREET SIGNS? YOU CAN STICK THOSE STREET SIGNS UP YOUR ASS! FUCK OFF!

tl;dr: i got banned from solving recaptchas the second time this week. lets hope its just *another* timeout.

I am tired of toxic politics at work.

Signs of a toxic workplace:

* (good) decisions are discouraged rather than encouraged.
Someone wants to introduce a great optimization and guess what the reply is (often from someone IT-ignorant): wait a minute, you can't do that because we have all these nifty little hacks and if you dare to suggest change to our shitty system, we could not allow that! We want to stay in our comfy zone, no no!

* no one can make a decision unless Mr. favorite-developer-everyone-likes says it's a good idea. And even if he's wrong, no one cares to listen to anyone else's idea on it. Stupid Feudalism. One man decides over the entire codebase. That's just idiocy. Where's TEAM in there?

* thinking years of experience equals intellectual capacity. It certainly does not! There are senior developers with 15 years of experience who don't even know how to open commandline, or they didn't even know about Chrome developer tools, or how the HTTP spec is built. That shit just makes me cry inside. How can you give these peoples the title of senior when they know less than a freshman year kid?!

* ignoring people's education and/or capacities. "You just graduated, so you're a noob". Right, I know more than you, you idiot. You've demonstrated your ignorance often enough. Stupid ignorant colleagues.

* blaming politics (every team blames the other team and there's constant tension)

* roaming ignorance (no one in the company, and I mean no one, besides me, knows enough about Information Technology to make competent decisions or analysis)

Politics:
What gives testers the idea that they know more than other members of the team? Why do they treat devs like they are mentally challenged?
What gives PO's that same idea?
What gives managers the idea that they can just yell at developers and threaten them with time pressure? Yeah, because the customers are breathing down their neck.

Just because I am a Junior Developer, that makes me stupid? I am tired of no one caring to listen to my ideas. I could save the company at the snap of a finger but everyone ignores my opinion (and often facts) on things.
People come in and instead of asking me for help, they ask everyone else for help, including the people who don't know shit about IT; now that's insulting.

Anyway, toxic politics.

Does balding scare the shit out of anyone else here? I am 19 and have started showing signs of male pattern baldness *sigh*. Just hope to make it to 25 without balding completely.

"...we're using Java. That fat bitch doesn't just eat memory, she just deep-throated her sixth serving and is showing no signs of relenting"

-Me, 2k18

Street signs huh? ...

Top 10 Signs You're Approaching Dev Burnout (incomplete):

(?/10). You get these random silly urges to quit your job to go live on a farm and raise goats, never to look at another pull request/bug/network issue/DevOps dashboard again

Reminder to look after yourselves.

Today I found out I've had hypertension and possibly an unruptured aneurysm. Resulting from stress at work and home, overworking and bad diet from having to keep my engery up for work. (over the last around 2-3 years).

Luckly I've moved away from stressful situations now so I'm feeling like I've dodged a rather large bullet!

Look after yourselves guys, take breaks, check your caffeine, sugar and cholesterol intakes and keep active! I reckon the 6 days a week football training saved my life!

hypertension is a silent killer and can cause fatal damage to your organs such as kidneys, lungs, eyes, brain and heart.

Luckly it spotted it early with a blood test and optician visit. I had a hemorrhage in one of my eyes but wasn't until 6 months later GP noticed signs of kidney damage from my blood test it was found!

I should be fine but look after yourselves! You're more important than that deadline!

I might actually quit. I'm within weeks (Army-stupidity pending) of working remote and not having to interact with my boss face to face, and I might quit.

2 week long call, everything I suggested was turned down/dismissed by him. Turns out, the second thing I suggested may have resolved the issue... After he decided he was going to take over the call.

While I was on the call, he ran the coffee maker, the kettle, banged his dishes around in the metal sink, and honestly tried to create as much noise as humanly possible, as he does for all my calls. I have multiple signs up requesting people be considerate.

He works for a different company, so I can't call HR, and I'm at the end of my patience.

WebDev jobs should come with big warning signs:
"You absolutely will lose your sanity!"
"IE11 might indirectly lead to impotence!"
"You won't get laid more often by using CSS Grid!"
"You will have to fix websites which only appear broken on iOS Safari!"
"Get some extra terabytes ready for your node modules!"
"Get ready to yarnify your npm dockerized webassembly blobs while gulping on your mocha chai latte with no karma!"

Can't we just go back to the good old times with Quick Basic and chill?
Man, the ladies were flocking around those programmer boyz, I tell ya... Klickety klackety on the mechanical

Casually perusing some online job postings and happened upon this gem. This is at best gloriously naive...

!dev

The school I went to didn't have PCs when I first joined (had some RISC OS machines instead). They got Windows 95 PCs eventually and networked them. I had no experience with networking before this, but had a PC at home. We all had mapped drives to resources on the server. The PCs were pretty locked down - no "Run" command etc.

Anyway, one day the head of IT came in to one of the lessons and asked me "how I did it".

What had I done? Well, clearly he had seen something I'd taught one of my friends. I wrote it down for him.

1. Right-click the desktop
2. New shortcut
3. \\nameofserver
4. OK

Such hax, being able to see the file shares on the server.

Shortly after this, all computer areas had signs saying "no shortcuts allowed"...

Discord and captchas can go get fucked in the ass by a rusty, tetanus ridden 2m pole....
I changed my discord-password yesterday and, naturally it prompted me for a login today. So I enter my new password and that motherfucking spawn from satans anus himself with the name of captcha threw itself at me... I seriously had to select fucking street signs for about 5min before Discord let me know that I apparently logged in from a new IP (thanks VPN) and therefore needed to confirm my e-Mail address. Alright, so off to my inbox I go.
SURPRISE, I also changed my password there yesterday (LastPass Security Challenge, I changed like 30 passwords yesterday) and guess what was waiting for me?... If you guessed a captcha, you just got full fucking marks. So I was busy selecting busses and streets for the next 3min again before I could finally log into that piece of trash and autorize my IP-address and log into Discord

Friday, 3pm, job interview.
Friday, 8pm, mail from the company owner:
'we liked your profile very much, so we'll make you an offer on Monday'.

No signs of life since then. I guess you didn't like my profile THAT much... 😅

Customer: can you set my forgotten password to "1"?

Me: there's a six signs limit in your domain. You have to use upper case letters, lower case letters and at least one symbol

Customer: "123Aa+"?

We have to set such passwords to avoid customers cancelling contracts....

So... did I mention I sometimes hate banks?

But I'll start at the beginning.

In the beginning, the big bang created the universe and evolution created humans, penguins, polar bea... oh well, fuck it, a couple million years fast forward...

Your trusted, local flightless bird walks into a bank to open an account. This, on its own, was a mistake, but opening an online bank account as a minor (which I was before I turned 18, because that was how things worked) was not that easy at the time.

So, yours truly of course signs a contract, binding me to follow the BSI Grundschutz (A basic security standard in Germany, it's not a law, but part of some contracts. It contains basic security advice like "don't run unknown software, install antivirus/firewall, use strong passwords", so it's just a basic prototype for a security policy).

The copy provided with my contract states a minimum password length of 8 (somewhat reasonable if you don't limit yourself to alphanumeric, include the entire UTF 8 standard and so on).

The bank's online banking password length is limited to 5 characters. So... fuck the contract, huh?

Calling support, they claimed that it is a "technical neccessity" (I never state my job when calling a support line. The more skilled people on the other hand notice it sooner or later, the others - why bother telling them) and that it is "stored encrypted". Why they use a nonstandard way of storing and encrypting it and making it that easy to brute-force it... no idea.

However, after three login attempts, the account is blocked, so a brute force attack turns into a DOS attack.

And since the only way to unblock it is to physically appear in a branch, you just would need to hit a couple thousand accounts in a neighbourhood (not a lot if you use bots and know a thing or two about the syntax of IBAN numbers) and fill up all the branches with lots of potential hostages for your planned heist or terrorist attack. Quite useful.

So, after getting nowhere with the support - After suggesting to change my username to something cryptic and insisting that their homegrown, 2FA would prevent attacks. Unless someone would login (which worked without 2FA because the 2FA only is used when moving money), report the card missing, request a new one to a different address and log in with that. Which, you know, is quite likely to happen and be blamed on the customer.

So... I went to cancel my account there - seeing as I could not fulfill my contract as a customer. I've signed to use a minimum password length of 8. I can only use a password length of 5.

Contract void. Sometimes, I love dealing with idiots.

And these people are in charge of billions of money, stock and assets. I think I'll move to... idk, Antarctica?

Burnout signs:
1) laying in bed all day
2) watching old natgeo documentaries
3) ordering a dildo for my loud ass neighbours

When a scammer calls you but miss the many signs that show the computer is actually a VM.

Byron (reckful) has committed suicide. He was one of the first big streamers on Twitch and a game developer.

He was suffering from depression and has been for quite some time. He always appears happy around friends. He did "joke" about committing suicide on his last stream. Watching the clip makes it obvious that there was some truth to the "joke".

Also, remember that you never know what someone online is suffering from or how that person may interpret a joke. Be careful and think about how your message is received.

Please seek help if you have suicidal thoughts or even signs of depression. It's not a sign of weakness. We all need help sometimes.

FUCK.... My laptops LED screen just got a dead px stripe.... And the bad thing is that it is allmost in the middle of the screen.... Oh and it is 60px in length and about 3 px in height!!! And no signs of physical damage to the screen.... so they just died!!!!

And the warranty ended 3 months ago..... Fuck you ASUS!

!dev
monthly mediocre life crisis checklist:

✅ boring job, no learning, taking away 8 hrs/ day

✅ wasting 4-5 hours doomscrolling

✅ being a mediocre Android developer in a shitty company not upgrading his skills

✅ trying to learn webdev from a paid course but not getting any progress there

✅ having 15 paid leaves but a shitty friend cicrle which isn't nterested in going out

✅ 0 solo travel with no knowledge in driving any vehicle

✅ no girlfriend/ lady friends to talk to

✅ porn and boring nature killing any signs of being interesting

✅ gaining fat and ugly body

✅ simping at the gym

✅ hateful parents quarreling with each other everyday

✅ having sad life with no mental peace

things going correct in life

⬜ getting salary on time, able to afford bread

⬜ still try to workout 5d/week

⬜ still try to make small web projects

Not here to disturb y'all , but am a little sad because our cute little boy honey has wandered somewhere and hasn't come back for last 2 days. :'(

I don't know what to do, we searched the whole area nearby and there are no signs of him. We have also alerted a few neighbors who aren't bad to animals.

But i guess it's his time to go out. We always had many cats , and we live on the topmost floor, so cats usually wander over to different terraces and come back after a few hours. But there is always a day, when they go away, nd never comes back.usually the female cats return, with stomach full of babies, but the boys are full Roadies, king of some random place

Its just my heart says he hasn't gone forever. He is a super dumb, and not very much of a bold boy. I think he fell somewhere in an empty home,and couldn't find his way back. ;_;

My boss and one of my coworkers “touch me”...

I’m usually one of the first ones in the office. When my coworker comes in and walks by, he touches my shoulder from the back in a “hello friend” kinda way.

Especially when I’m trying to ignore him he pokes my shoulder. He could you’d waved his hand in front of my head.

My boss is trying to be the “buddy” I guess. When having lunch and someone says something funny, he literally rests his hand on my shoulder or kinda rams my shoulder with his shoulder..

They think that’s nice and “bonding” but I hate it and it makes me very very uncomfortable. The ONLY ones who are allowed to touch me are my GF (I don’t have one) and other girls i know in a night out after a few drinks.

Not even my best friends touch me cause they know I don’t like that.

Im giving obvious signs that they should stop but they don’t get it..

On the other hand I probably have some serious problems that It makes me that uncomfortable in the first place, but not sure how to fix that.. i don’t even go to the barber shop because they have to touch me to cut my hair. So I cut them myself or my dad does it once in a year.

Oh my gosh I hate SSL so much. A cert expired this morning, and with it, 29 digital signs are now offline. Shoot me now.

Stress made me fall into old habits of instead of saying stop and letting my team now that I was falling apart (not realising it myself even) I just kept saying "Yes, I fix that." to every single request that was made in the project.

The closer we got to the deadline, the more I hyperfocused and ignored the signs. I just kept working. The last two days I didn't even sleep.

Of course the launch botched. I finally broke down and both my mind and my body have given up, since yesterday I'm in a mental feedback loop causing continuous anxiety attacks and migraines. I literally CAN'T do anything but trying to not go back into fight- or flight mode and remember to breathe.

I FINALLY made my project manager aware (something I should have done days ago) that I am incapacitated and now I am waiting for medication (Oxazepam) to be picked up at the pharmacy by my husband.

I almost literally worked myself into the ground.

I've been here before. Never again.

This is what happens if you don't listen to your mind and body and put up a white flag in time.

Seattle's light rail transit signs are just a full screen Chrome web browser. On another crash, I saw a Windows blue screen. Why would you pay for a Windows license just to run a browser that displays transit times?

So management posted an article "10 signs you suck at your job" in the lunch room. It's pretty passive-aggressive; I wish I could find the link to it somewhere to post here.

Would you post the similar article "10 signs you're not management material" in there as well?

Last night by accident I put my phone on coconut paste. (don't ask.)

Although it doesn't show signs of damage, and hopefully it hasn't been damaged, my heart is still not at rest. I had enough panic for one year.

But why does this keep happening to me with tech stuff accidents? Whyyyyyyy?

!devRelated

I personally think that one of the worst things a person can be is a bad driver.

I really hate the driving culture in my city.

This ain't some third world country with no roads and no traffic signs or regulations. We have very very nice roads. Good traffic systems in place. Decent driving speeds and people STILL manage to fuck shit up.

Not one fucking day do I get in my truck without wanting to murdee someone.

I flipped off about 3 people today. One of them started to scream at me. I told the bitch ass motherfucker to do something about it. I was really hoping a motherfucker would.

I really hate these fucking people.

My fucking city is the reason why Trump supporters get off on hating mexicans. How the fuck can I blame them if when driving through such fucking city damn near every fucker on a vehicle drives with 0 regard for others.

Fuck this bullshit man. This is fucking Texas. I have yet to see nicer fucking roads, no fucking excuse really.

I am going to kill someone one of these days. And I will aim poorly...see if that shit hurts more.

For fucks sake, Amazon Prime has also decided that they are adding ads to their *paid subscription*. Because I guess paying them fucking monthly is not enough for them greedy fucks. It's not like they were loosing money either, the service had a slow but exponential growth ever since 2014 (slow in the sense that it was only hundreds of millions at first, but luckily it was tens of billions by 2022, poor amazon eh?) ... first fucking Netflix does this, and now these retarded fucks follow suit like little retarded ducklings with dollar signs for eyes. You can bet your fucking hats that the other services will jump on the adWagon soon too...

"you will own nothing and be happy".. yeah fuck you, you fucks. As if owning nothing wasn't bad enough, now that nothing comes with fucking ads on top FOR THE SAME FUCKING PRICE?!... And they have the audacity to fucking ask for *more* monthly money to get rid of the ads they oh so graciously provided?!

I don't even use fucking amazon prime, but what the actual fuck. This is *one* of the reasons I canceled my netflix sub. I'm not going to fucking support this behavior even if it doesn't affect me. But I guess some people keep showing netflix dicks into their gaping asses because they sure don't seem to be taking this bullshit back... And I assume even more people will keep sucking amazon dicks as if this was a-ok behavior.

god, shit like this really makes me angry...

Started learning PHP bcuz @dfox loves it. Why not me?

(instantly)

WHY IS THERE SO MANY -> SIGNS???????
IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE AN ARROW AT ALL!!!!!!!!
IT SHOULD BE AT LEAST --> TO LOOK BETTER!!!!!

UUUURRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

(stops learning a few hours ago, got a refund)

(curses david)

I am such a fucking idiot i cannot believe how many stupid things i have done in the past hour because i was horny and bored. I cant believe i saw none of the signs its so fucking glaringly obvious and now my life is essentially over. I dont know how im going to show my face to anyone I know its so fucked up. Met a person on chat roulette, then skype, started cybering on cam then she told me i would show her my credit card and give her money unless she would send the video to everyone on my facebook list. I dont even know why i added her on facebook, just a false account to get my friends list and now every one i Know is going to see my dick. I didnt give her my card because im not that dumb and eternal humiliation is better than having my bank account cleaned but I dont know what im going to do.

End rant

TLDR my life is over

TL;DR The prodigal son returns.

A long time ago my partner in crime left the company. So I was a "one man army", until management gave me 2 newbies to train. We'll call them X and Y.

X was new to the company, while Y was moved from a different area. During the time I was training them I realized which of the two had potential, or at least was paying attention.

Some more time passed and X was showing signs of being a good candidate to join the team. Y, on the other hand, well there were stories from his previous team. Not good.

Guess who was added to my team. It wouldn't be a rant if it was the capable one. Y was added to my team, while X was sent to a completely different area.

Time passed and I suffered many misfortunes. But this week, I saw him sitting next to my desk, X is back. I'll probably have to get him up to speed, but my little prodigy is back!

Last office building I worked at, the company across the hall recycled old PCs for businesses. They had two reserved parking spots in the building parking lot right up front. The signs read "Employee of the Month"

Every day when I came in the owner's $80k luxury car was parked in the middle of both spots.

Product Owner keeps demanding developers do items outside of Sprint, deleted story points to get extra items in, signs off holiday for my staff, even hired some unqualified developers, etc. for my team (I'm the Dev Manager). I'm blessed to report into the PMO who backs up the Product Owner, in front my own reports, meaning I have no authority. What would you do?

PMO has decided that if we drag items from Sprint to Backlog when they reach SIT, we have more space for Dev items in the Sprint :-| Though he expects developers to actually do the SIT work, including writing the SIT tests :-|

A colleague of mine who doesn't know how to write simple conditions and sends button code from backend in loosely coupled design.

Worst of all she doesn't wants to get updated to the latest programming structure and no signs of learning on how to write clean code!

Is your code green?

I've been thinking a lot about this for the past year. There was recently an article on this on slashdot.

I like optimising things to a reasonable degree and avoid bloat. What are some signs of code that isn't green?

* Use of technology that says its fast without real expert review and measurement. Lots of tech out their claims to be fast but actually isn't or is doing so by saturation resources while being inefficient.
* It uses caching. Many might find that counter intuitive. In technology it is surprisingly common to see people scale or cache rather than directly fixing the thing that's watt expensive which is compounded when the cache has weak coverage.
* It uses scaling. Originally scaling was a last resort. The reason is simple, it introduces excessive complexity. Today it's common to see people scale things rather than make them efficient. You end up needing ten instances when a bit of skill could bring you down to one which could scale as well but likely wont need to.
* It uses a non-trivial framework. Frameworks are rarely fast. Most will fall in the range of ten to a thousand times slower in terms of CPU usage. Memory bloat may also force the need for more instances. Frameworks written on already slow high level languages may be especially bad.
* Lacks optimisations for obvious bottlenecks.
* It runs slowly.
* It lacks even basic resource usage measurement.

Unfortunately smells are not enough on their own but are a start. Real measurement and expert review is always the only way to get an idea of if your code is reasonably green.

I find it not uncommon to see things require tens to hundreds to thousands of resources than needed if not more.

In terms of cycles that can be the difference between needing a single core and a thousand cores.

This is common in the industry but it's not because people didn't write everything in assembly. It's usually leaning toward the extreme opposite.

Optimisations are often easy and don't require writing code in binary. In fact the resulting code is often simpler. Excess complexity and inefficient code tend to go hand in hand. Sometimes a code cleaning service is all you need to enhance your green.

I once rewrote a data parsing library that had to parse a hundred MB and was a performance hotspot into C from an interpreted language. I measured it and the results were good. It had been optimised as much as possible in the interpreted version but way still 50 times faster minimum in C.

I recently stumbled upon someone's attempt to do the same and I was able to optimise the interpreted version in five minutes to be twice as fast as the C++ version.

I see opportunity to optimise everywhere in software. A billion KG CO2 could be saved easy if a few green code shops popped up. It's also often a net win. Faster software, lower costs, lower management burden... I'm thinking of starting a consultancy.

The problem is after witnessing the likes of Greta Thunberg then if that's what the next generation has in store then as far as I'm concerned the world can fucking burn and her generation along with it.

When our colleague got twins we put two out of everything into his cubicle: two chairs, two keyboards, two mouses, two lamps, two plants, etc... and two "welcome back" signs too

My Precalculus teacher has such overstrict rules on showing work.

1. On tests, degree signs must be shown in all work. This wouldn't be outrageous except that if the answer is right but a single degree sign is missing in the mandated shown work, the entire question is wrong even with a correct final answer because the "answer doesn't match up with the work".

2. We must show work in the exact form mandated from on class. If even a single step of work is missing or wrong on even one say homework problem, no credit even if the entire rest of the sheet is correct and complete.

3. Never applied to me, but if a homework problem cannot be solved by a student, they must write a sentence describing how far they got and what wasn't doable, or no credit on the entire homework. Did I mention it is checked daily and is 2 unweighted points with 50-100 point tests?

4. On graphing calculator problems, one had to draw a rectangle representing the calculator screen, even for solving systems of equations without explicit drawing graphs as part of the problem, because otherwise, she had "no proof that a calculator was used". It isn't that hard to fake, and it was quite stupid.

5. Reference triangles were required even when completely unnecessary or the answers were assumed copied, even if a better method was shown in work.

And much, much more!

A few years ago I would whine, complain and rant about shitty software, which I knew could be so much better than it was. But I didn't yet write software of my own.

Now I complain about shitty libraries, API's and users. Not much has changed really. And every time I write code, I curse myself, and whoever made this trashpile I have to work with. I curse the user to the moon and beyond for using the program wrong. Funny thing is, exactly the thing I was complaining about (input validation, see earlier rant) is also exactly what no more than 5 minutes after release, a user fucked up with. The bot just does not respond at this point. But fuck these braindead retards for users.

In a few years I expect myself to be complaining about shitty compilers and buffer overflows, segmentation violations, bad coding style (don't make your program a fucking colander kthx), and so on.

Next decade I expect myself to be complaining about physics itself, and why the universe is governed by the laws it's governed by. Whoever this God is, he's a fucking retard. Funny thing is, the signs for it are already there. Electron theory! If only those electrons were positrons, then the math would check out properly. Instead of negative electrons traveling from negative to positive, we'd have positive positrons traveling from positive to negative. At least from what I understand so far, this is still a decade away after all.

The point I'm trying to make is that nothing changes, only my understanding of the world around me does, as I tumble further and further down the rabbit hole. Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill... Either complain about others' software or perhaps not give a shit at all. Become one of those filthy users I now despise.

What do you do when your redirect doesn’t go where you tell it?

Clearly I’m missing something.

I stepped through the code, following the failure path of Sheogorath’s Recaptcha. It fails as expected, and hits this redirect before doing anything else:

`return redirect_to new_user_session_path`

I verified that this redirects to the “/users/sign_in” path, and it returns so the server doesn’t even try to authenticate the user. It just nopes out as it should to prevent timing attacks.

But somehow instead of doing that and redirecting as it should, it signs the user in and redirects somewhere else entirely: the role select page, which only happens after authenticating an admin user. It never even hits my breakpoint after the recaptcha check! It never authenticates!

I think what I’m missing is my old reality where things made sense.

Working as a freelancer I have to hand in a monthly timesheet. I was told to print it out three times and sign them. A photocopied signature would not be acceptable.
After one year I found out that the manager signs one of the sheets, throws the other two away and makes two copies of the signed one.
I asked him why I have to give him three sheets then.
He answered: I don't know either.

Now the fun fact: the next copier is a 2min walk from his office

Idiot mode: on

It's bad when you realize you are the most idotic person you know. I just bought a wifi card replacement for my laptop only to find out that one of the screws on its back was completely unscrewable. I foolishly decided to force my way through by forcing the plastic. I tought I got away with it as I only damaged a plastic support tighten to the laptop base but now, my laptop screen isn't showing anything.

When I first booted it up after this, it was working, but it started showing troubling signs shortly after. Now, all I can get out of it is a completely black screen, no backlight at all.

What should I do? 😥

You may be familiar with work philosophy known as "they pretend to pay us, we pretend to work."

Or a favorite of mine "in this together" and passove aggressive work place signs about safety, inbetween being told to operate machines that have faulty safety mechanisms and almost took a guys forearm off last week, when the machine was supposed to be locked out.

Also dont let them blather on about being a "family", or any of the worse horseshit they spew.

I knew a women who would take those "hang in their" and other inspirational posters and burn cigarette holes in the eyes.

I didn't understand what her motive was then but now I know she was a revolultionary, a visionary even.

It's all lies. It's all "Human resources" department brand managament by neurotic executives and glorified coffee secretaries with 100k student debts for degrees in "humanities"--while lacking any humanity themselves, let alone brains or a soul.

And in between an army of overpaid middle and district managers, checking for the fifth time that day, if you have finished that tps report, or that ONE task you just started or finished. As if a little internal robot timer has told them, not that a task needs managed, but that the task, having been started and done, awaits their preternatural ability to know, and arrive 'just so', and justify (barely) the continued existence of their mediocre job and their mediocre lives.

And out of the woodwork of generations, like a horde of oblivious fuckwit melonheads, comes a tidal wave of these brush-mustached fucks, speaking in aphorisms and happy turns of phrase, while people increasingly dont show up to work be cause inflation has all but destroyed the future so many saved and worked for.

And the shelves gradually empty.

And the wheels grind slowly to a halt.

Because we will not accept the bullshit anymore about being in it together.

Not when a floor guy makes 15k a year, and a district manager makes 120k.

Raise your wages, or say good by.

We were never in this together.

I quit my first dev job of less than 6 months. Nothing lined up but it was not what I wanted and I was burning out quickly. Felt like a zombie, thinking of my work after work, and unable to get anything into my head, isolated and other needs not met for an entry level developer.

I luckily have money saved up for a year and hitting leetcode and everything else. Will I find a job right away? Probably not. However, I took the first position within a month of interviews during the pandemic and regret that I stopped applying even when I saw the red signs.

I’m scared but I didn’t beat my head against the wall at school to be taken advantage of like this (imo they need a senior).

2020 was trash as a fresh grad but maybe this year will be different. I know more than before and I especially know what I don’t want.

Here we go again, no looking back now.

Colleagues of mine, even though they show signs of versioning their api by having "v1" in the URL, keep committing breaking changes to that version. 😂

I'm starting to see this way o much today, first @Root, now @Bubbles.

Today... is going to be an interesting day.

Well thus far is a bunch of rails small jobs. Funny enough this week I managed to get a bunch of php contracts "with the possibility to extend for larger contracts"

I am not really interested in long term contracts, but being that most developers that I see hired for small php jobs are not used to the patterns of development used for modern php and that i bring in a lot of my own stuff for it I know that I will be maintaining them for the long run.

So good stuff. Lets see how the week pans out. Getting really excited. Even tho I see more horrors in php than even on JS or ASP.NET or Java I still really love all languages that I have used. And normally I work like a mechanic. In which I bill by the hour(i am an expensice hooker...I mean developer) and finish everything as fast as possible to let me lazy around the house. So for example, if something takes 10 hours I will do it i 5 or less and charge all 10 hours, or I would charge per build(custom login and registration that kind of deal) and yeah. Pretty basic.

Good shit man!

What do you consider “silent, but toxic” signs in a work environment when starting a new job?

I saw a genie once.

So it was like 1 am, me and my girlfriend back then was wandering around the street. We haven’t slept for like two days. It was also a time when she started showing signs of being bipolar and my manic episodes started. So we wasn’t exactly in a good shape, everything felt surreal.

To add absurdity I was holding a pair of scissors (I don’t remember how I got them in the middle of the street) ready to fight back night gopniks.

We went underground and we saw this: there was a hobo standing on a chair and singing. He was really good at it, all opera level stuff with tremolo and everything. The other hobos was standing around him looking and listening. They all completely ignored our presence.

Between two pillars lied the other hobo. He was covered in some dark-looking liquid. Around him was a really huge bottle, so huge in fact that he could probably fit in. I guess they use those kind of bottles in bars or something.

I have no other explanation that he was a genie that was living in that bottle before and granted that singing hobo three wishes: brilliant singing voice (he could probably be a guy who always wanted to sing but had no talent and so he started drinking and became a hobo eventually), an audience that understands and appreciates (the other hobos) and a final wish, just to drink together and have a great conversation.

I have this friend of mine, he was a former course mate and we can call him J.
J called a week ago saying he wanted to come stay with me for a few days and I said no problem buddy come home I'm always around.

When he came around he sounded quite different than the J I used to know. The first thing he said when I opened the door for him was "Do you know God?" and I was like "Hunh... Is that the latest javascript framework?". With my reply I was expecting laughter as a response but seems like buddy is serious.

J: Are you ashamed of him?
Me: What's up man? Jesus ain't coming anytime soon *still joking*.
J: Yes, he is. And we...
Me: Okay. Cut the crap man.

That night was quite long as we argued religious stuff front, back and center. I asked him why he became so religious but his response wasn't really clear. What I could sense from the discussion was "he's in it for the money" because while we were arguing he mentioned that God spoke to him that he would own a Mercedes Benz this year, so for that he created a WhatsApp group luring people to join to receive gospel messages and in turn ask them to sow seeds and make offerings all in the name of God. I was both pissed and perplexed by such an act of selfishness. Why don't you just get a real job, I asked J, and he said the jobs he could find doesn't match his taste :/

The religious argument continued to day 3 and I wasn't feeling it because it has affected my work as I couldn't even concentrate on most task that was supposed to be completed that week. I called him the next day and told him he shouldn't come to my place if he won't boycott the religious arguments we normally have at night because those are my working hours and the arguments wasn't helping matters. I ended the call when I got no response.

Throughout the rest of that day I felt guilt for what I had said to him, maybe there would have been a better way of putting out my reasons to him or atleast allow him arrive home before telling him what I just told him. I felt really bad that night, so the next day I tried to reach so he could come around when he's available but his line wasn't going through.

Few hours later I got a call from another friend we can call E.
--- E: Hey, have you seen J lately.
Me: Yes, he has been with me for few days now.
--- E: Is he there now.
-- Me: No he's not.
--- E: I need to let you know what's up. J isn't feeling okay. He has been with me for quite a while but recently this year he started acting strange. I think he has some mental issues.
-- Me: Mental what?
--- E: Yes. One time he pulled of his shirt running towards the street. I asked him where he was going and he said "they're calling me... they're calling me".
-- Me: That must be serious, I never paid attention I just noticed he was acting too religious.
--- E: Yes man. It took some time before I myself realised what was going on.
--- Me: So what do we do?
--- E: I've spoken to his brother and we also informed the police he was missing, I never knew he was with you.
--- Me: I'll try reaching out if I find him I'll get in touch.
--- E: Okay.

Hanging up the phone, I have never felt so broken in my entire life. All through those time I was arguing with someone in need of help.
How could I not have known. I'm stupid... I'm stupid... I'm stupid! I kept stumping my palm on my head. Shame unto me.
There were moments in our arguments with signs of clear red flags, some things he said wasn't just right but I ignored just to win the arguments. At one point he claimed he was God, at another point he said he doesn't need to work to become rich that money will visit him, he said some really bizarre things if I was observant enough I would have noticed but fuck me I didn't.

Next day, I got a call that he has been found and has been taken to a psychiatric hospital. He was suffering from bipolar disorder. When I got there, he no longer recognises me. This was the same person we both argued few nights ago.
This short experience was devastating for me. I cried like a baby right there in room filled with his family and some other friends.

No one knew why I was crying, it was just me and my guilty conscience. This would have been prevented atleast a little if I had acted differently. I can't hug him now... It's of no use. I can't tell him how great a friend he is and and how much he deserves the world now because it would be useless.

I pray day and night that he gets well soon and I could tell him how sorry I am for not realising he had a condition unknown to me.
I get to visit him twice a week and hope he gets back to the J I've always known, my buddy for life 💑

For anyone reading this:
Sometimes the people around you might look okay from the outside but I promise you there is a lot going in on the inside. Show love to whoever call you their friend and also don't take arguments personally (I failed this test), some people uses arguments to validate theirselves and some might not be as sane as you think.
#ListenMoreSayLess

So a problem end client of mine made my life hell for 3 months.

She hired a design agency to design her a bespoke site, she signs off on it and then once I've made it she decides that it's just a draft.

She then spend the next 3 months emailing me multiple times a day, calling the office and calling my personal phone. I'm still not sure how she got my number.

after 3 months on a two week project, many conference calls and changing every single template so that the site is unrecognisable it is finally live.

This woman literally went around her whole office, building and street asking them what they thought should be changed.

Not only that but half way through she suddenly told me she wanted it live in 2 days with a list of changes as long as my arm. I managed it and she wanted more changes anyway so it didnt go live...

The moral of the story is, never go the extra mile for a client more than twice, make sure you charge them for your extra time, try not think about how someone so retarded is the head of marketing at a huge company and that a true rant has no structure.

PS she also complained to me often that the changes had not been made less than 24 hours after requesting them, showed a half built site to her board of directors and then moaned at me that it didn't look right.

A certain person here on devRant was annoyed about my phone being named “Beyond”, seeing a screenshot of my settings.

What they said: “the name, beyond, reeks pretentiousness and arrogance, you say you’re better than other people”

What really happened: during one of my manic episodes, I discovered the band named Death Grips. Their music resonated with me and helped me to cope with my derealization. In one of their songs, I misheard lyrics, and heard the word “Veyon” that was never there in the first place. Upon my inner voice pronouncing it, as it usually happens to me, a brand-new universe appeared before me, where Veyon was a name of a megacorporation that exists in a shaky spacetime plane somewhere in India. If you want to go there, three outcomes are possible: you can actually come to their building that appears to be normal, with people working inside you can talk to, and no signs of trouble in sight. Or, you can try to walk to their building, but you will never reach it. GPS will show you slowing down gradually as you get closer, but to you, it would look like you’re just walking with your regular speed, as if nothing happened. Like a function trying to reach its asymptote, you’ll never come to your destination. The third outcome is by far the most interesting one. You will reach the building, but it will be abandoned, with doors scattered on the floors randomly, some of them will disappear after you walk in, rendering you missing in this universe. Oh, and floors are guarded by robots and turrets, and they are made by Grumman, the military aviation manufacturer. Yes, Grumman, not Northrop Grumman. This building in the third outcome originates from the spacetime plane where Northrop and Grumman never merged.

The whole thing raced through my mind in a millisecond. I liked it and decided to squat the name, but it was already taken by Veyon open source software (Virtual Eye On Networks).

In some time, I bought a new phone second-hand, and named it Veyon. The next day, I took it to shower with me. It turned out that the seller lied to me about it never being fixed. It was, and in the process its water resistance was compromised. So, this phone was damaged beyond repair the next day I bought it.

The same day, I went and bought the same phone model, but brand new, and in black, as I originally wanted. I was grateful for this opportunity that helped me escape the situation where I would've been using the phone of the colour I disliked just because I cheapen out. I know myself, and I would’ve been feeling uneasy every day, hesitant to sell it and get a new one because “nothing is wrong with it, quit being this picky, it’s just a colour”, but wait, don’t I deserve to make the colour a significant enough reason to switch the phone because I care about colour, especially if it’s me who’s paying the money? Did I make this money rightfully, or am I an impostor who gets paid because of intricate lies I tell? Do I actually tell them, or do I make that up to somehow convince "them" I'm innocent? Or do I try to get attention?

I’m terrible at dealing with that kind of mess, So, I was grateful.

The only thing left to do was to name my new phone. I decided not to name it “Veyon” again, just in case. So, I named it “Beyond”, as this word is probably what the actual song said.

The monstrosity of a story above is the usual thing for me to feel. I was really hurt by you telling me the name I chose was a display of pretentiousness. Do I deserve to be pretentious? I say yes, but my voice is shaking, as flashbacks of my awful mother abusing me come in the way.

You hurt me with that comment. Let’s meet? :)

An intern made a very bad impression on the first day.

This was before I become a developer. I was working in commercial art sales. One day, I had an appointment to onboard two new interns together.

Intern 1 shows up and I ask her for her signed confidentiality agreement. The boss had sent it out a week before and told me the interns were bringing the signed paperwork on their first day. I see the surprised look on her face and she says she forgot. She’s lucky I had access to another copy. If I didn’t, things could have gotten pretty awkward if I had to contact my boss, who was out of office. If there’s no signed agreement, I can’t onboard her and I’d have to send her home. The appointment was made with intern 1’s availability in mind, so intern 1 could have spent her time coming to the office for nothing and being turned away because of a stupid mistake she made.

While we wait for intern 2 to arrive, I try to engage in small talk with intern 1. I try to get to know her a little better and I ask “are you still in college/university?” She word vomits that she thought she had graduated, but six months later she hadn’t received her diploma and she called the school and they told her her pre-college credits had not transferred, so she’s finishing those credits now.

Oh, intern, you should have just simplified all this to “I’m finishing up my degree” or “yes, I’m still in college.” This is TMI. You don’t want to give out information about yourself that could put you in a bad light. You need to know to be discreet about yourself. You’re 22 years old. It’s really bad judgement to say this to your supervisor (me) and we’ve only known each other for ten minutes. I’m not your friend, I’m your supervisor. Honestly, I thought the explanation didn’t make sense because she would have found out about the credits when she tried to transfer them and when she applied for graduation. I didn’t prod for more details.

I did have to tell my boss about intern 1 forgetting the paperwork. It’s not something the intern would be reprimanded for, but it is something that’s not a good sign. The paperwork had been sent by the boss a week prior. It’s troublesome that an intern would forget to complete an important task that was sent by the boss. This was never a problem with prior interns.

Boss did freak out because boss thought I onboarded intern 1 without intern agreeing to the confidentiality agreement. Boss hadn’t considered an intern would forget the paperwork and didn’t tell me what to do if this did happen. I reassured boss that I had printed a new copy and had intern 1 sign the agreement.

I didn’t say anything about the word vomit. The content was troubling, but I was concerned this would be gossip and I wasn’t out to sabotage the intern.

Forgetting the paperwork and the word vomit were signs the intern wasn’t reliable. Intern had trouble taking direction even when it was written down. She’d do stupid things like invite her boyfriend to the office for hours and let BF sit at the boss’s desk—boss caught her and boss’s office is visible from our public viewing floor, so visitor did see this too. I suspected she might have an diagnosed learning disability.

In the end, intern didn’t ask for a reference letter. Boss said that if intern asked for one in the future, the answer would be no.

Intern 1 is the reason why I don’t want to be in change of interns ever again even though I’m not in art sales anymore.

Customer signs off that work is complete via email.
Customer calls back saying the delivery is incomplete.
I tell customer they need to QA better and we can fix it.
Customer is no longer a customer.

I own a start up with two friends of mine - one is great with business, and the other tries to be both a developer and on the business side. I'm fully on development and I find it extremely frustrating to work with him. He copies and pastes code, doesn't understand it, and worse still will never admit it and digs himself in deeper into the hole he's dug. He doesn't code as a hobby and it's purely just assignments in university that he spends any coding time on. I've tried helping him to improve over the past few months, but nothing seems to ever do anything as there's no desire to solve problems - just really dollar signs in his eyes is probably the only reason he's in computer engineering. Recently we got a contract with an organisation to make an extremely simple app for android and iOS as the first stage of their planned development. As I did the most of the work on another project during the summer (while juggling a job with another company as an internship), I asked if he could take this so he can try to improve and equalise work so he does his share. Not only did it take 3 weeks, but it's shoddy as hell and looks like it was done in the space of an hour. In reality it took days for him. It's unbearable! The android code I saw was clearly just copied from various sources and mashed together - there was no planning, no understanding of abstractions, and was legit a giant class or two with extreme amounts of redundancy. Hell, he even asked me for help for trying to implement fragments when I pointed out that making screens with buttons and such will be extremely difficult if he is only passing in strings. Any of you guys experiences something like this before? I'm planning on bailing in the coming weeks once my exams are over with for university as it's becoming unbearable.

I'm just FUCKING DONE. Everyone around me looks at me like a fucking paycheck they either don't want to pay me or like one they want from me but that I can't make enough of. Every time I open my stupid cakehole something stupid flies out of it that offends someone or makes me look incompetent or sets me back somehow. I'm not suicidal but I don't want to be on this planet anymore. I'm stranded here with nobody who wants to hire me and people around me who are tapping their feet waiting for people to hire me. I have nothing in my bank accounts to cover enormous and increasing monthly expenses coming up on the horizon and no way to pay for them. I have a stupid president who just keeps making it worse and worse with every stupid thing that comes out of his geriatric mouth or that he signs with his shaking dementia-ridden hand. He just keeps taxing me and taxing me and now has an army the size of the FUCKING NATIONAL GUARD of IRS agents ready to FUCK ME UP THE ASS if I have just one business expense out of order. I have all of this responsibility for my family and none of the power to do anything for them. And now that most of my kids are adults, none of them can afford to move out for the long-term future and also they're not able to get much money to help out so it's still incumbent on me to carry them until they're like FUCKING 35 YEARS OLD OR SOMETHING! The wife is pretty much sick of me and my shitty attitude about it all and she says she thinks that I think it's all her fault. We don't have any kind of romantic relationship anymore (well, I have all the interest and she has all the avoidance).

Also, I'm a man, and white, and straight, and "privileged" (oh, so privileged) so I'm the _worst person on the planet_.

I was born on this earth to be a FUCKING WARNING, not the lesson. When that meteor comes, let it take me out first.

The signs as programming brackets

Scorpio, Aries, Sagittarius, Libra, Pisces, Cancer:

function () {
// code
}
Taurus, Virgo, Leo, Gemini, Aquarius, Capricorn:

function ()
{
// code
}
Ophiuchus:

function () { // code }

Agree or disagree: as a developer guaranteeing your work, when you accept a deposit from a client as a milestone payment, you should not spend that money until the client signs off on the milestone in case they decide your work is unsatisfactory and want to go elsewhere.

Winter is coming so I got that stupid idea just now.

Let’s make and wear big winter hats with road signs on it to see how self driving cars would react to this 🤣🤣🤣

I begin with the optimism and the joy that I am creating something new that will improve people's lives.

I listen to the user and analyze the current process in depth.

I try to suggest additional value to the system for the users consideration. Sometimes they do not realize we can improve 10x rather than 2x.

I learn what the users goals are and what they want out of the system. We think about reports and downstream value. Sort of working from the end to the beginning (data ingests and upstream processes that will feed the system).

After the user signs off on the requirements and deliverables and I have a realistic project plan I begin to code.

It works and has worked for me every time for a long long time.

This climate crisis is slowly getting into my head guys😠. The shit bolsanaro and all other govs are doing is effecting my mojo.

I am working here and trying to do my best to deliver quality code while i must fight the feeling that ppl are betraying me (the govs). Its not my job to remind them of not fucking us over. I try to help by not becoming a criminal and getting forward with my life. Wtf is wrong with those in charge of govs?! On any project if you ignore the signs, u'll end up in refactoring hell or the project just dies. Getting out takes serious commitment.
Is everyone just gone crazy?

Here we all will get fucked, if we fail with project earth. 🤬😖👿

I know I'm getting old from small signs like:
- I like mentoring newcomers even fresh graduates, explaining them everything they have to know, answering all of their questions if I can (I had some really bad mentors before as newcomer)
- These newcomers always learns faster than I expect and shortly they works faster than us
- On the other hand senior members asks my opinion about some decisions or technical issues even if I barely know more about that topic. (Did I look experienced somewhat?)
- I hardly take overhours and I discourage fresh graduates to do. (I did enough overnights already in my life)

!rant && story

tl;dr I lost my path, learned to a lot about linux and found true love.

So because of the recent news about wpa2, I thought about learning to do some things network penetration with kali. My roommate and I took an old 8gb usb and turned it into a bootable usb with persistent storage. Maybe not the best choice, but atleast we know how to do that now.

Anyway, we started with a kali.iso from 2015, because we thought it would be faster than downloading it with a 150kpbs connection. Learned a lot from that mistake while waiting apt-get update/upgrade.

Next day I got access to some faster connection, downloaded a new release build and put the 2015 version out it's misery. Finally some signs of progress. But that was not enough. We wanted more. We (well atleast I) wanted to try i3, because one of my friends showed me to /r/unixporn (btw, pornhub is deprecated now). So after researching what i3 is, what a wm is AND what a dm is, we replaced gdm3 with lightdm and set i3 as standard wm. With the user guide on an other screen we started playing with i3. Apparently heaven is written with two characters only. Now I want to free myself from windows and have linux (Maybe arch) as my main system, but for now we continue to use thus kali usb to learn about how to set uo a nice desktop environment. Wait, why did we choose to install kali? 😂

I feel kinda sorry for that, but I want to experiment on there before until I feel confident. (Please hit me up with tips about i3)

Still gotta use Windows as a subsystem for gaming. 😥

My friend sent me this as WYSIWYG

/* A simple quine (self-printing program), in standard C. */ /* Note: in designing this quine, we have tried to make the code clear * and readable, not concise and obscure as many quines are, so that * the general principle can be made clear at the expense of length. * In a nutshell: use the same data structure (called "progdata" * below) to output the program code (which it represents) and its own * textual representation. */ #include <stdio.h> void quote(const char *s) /* This function takes a character string s and prints the * textual representation of s as it might appear formatted * in C code. */ { int i; printf(" \""); for (i=0; s[i]; ++i) { /* Certain characters are quoted. */ if (s[i] == '\\') printf("\\\\"); else if (s[i] == '"') printf("\\\""); else if (s[i] == '\n') printf("\\n"); /* Others are just printed as such. */ else printf("%c", s[i]); /* Also insert occasional line breaks. */ if (i % 48 == 47) printf("\"\n \""); } printf("\""); } /* What follows is a string representation of the program code, * from beginning to end (formatted as per the quote() function * above), except that the string _itself_ is coded as two * consecutive '@' characters. */ const char progdata[] = "/* A simple quine (self-printing program), in st" "andard C. */\n\n/* Note: in designing this quine, " "we have tried to make the code clear\n * and read" "able, not concise and obscure as many quines are" ", so that\n * the general principle can be made c" "lear at the expense of length.\n * In a nutshell:" " use the same data structure (called \"progdata\"\n" " * below) to output the program code (which it r" "epresents) and its own\n * textual representation" ". */\n\n#include <stdio.h>\n\nvoid quote(const char " "*s)\n /* This function takes a character stri" "ng s and prints the\n * textual representati" "on of s as it might appear formatted\n * in " "C code. */\n{\n int i;\n\n printf(\" \\\"\");\n " " for (i=0; s[i]; ++i) {\n /* Certain cha" "racters are quoted. */\n if (s[i] == '\\\\')" "\n printf(\"\\\\\\\\\");\n else if (s[" "i] == '\"')\n printf(\"\\\\\\\"\");\n e" "lse if (s[i] == '\\n')\n printf(\"\\\\n\");" "\n /* Others are just printed as such. */\n" " else\n printf(\"%c\", s[i]);\n " " /* Also insert occasional line breaks. */\n " " if (i % 48 == 47)\n printf(\"\\\"\\" "n \\\"\");\n }\n printf(\"\\\"\");\n}\n\n/* What fo" "llows is a string representation of the program " "code,\n * from beginning to end (formatted as per" " the quote() function\n * above), except that the" " string _itself_ is coded as two\n * consecutive " "'@' characters. */\nconst char progdata[] =\n@@;\n\n" "int main(void)\n /* The program itself... */\n" "{\n int i;\n\n /* Print the program code, cha" "racter by character. */\n for (i=0; progdata[i" "]; ++i) {\n if (progdata[i] == '@' && prog" "data[i+1] == '@')\n /* We encounter tw" "o '@' signs, so we must print the quoted\n " " * form of the program code. */\n {\n " " quote(progdata); /* Quote all. */\n" " i++; /* Skip second '" "@'. */\n } else\n printf(\"%c\", p" "rogdata[i]); /* Print character. */\n }\n r" "eturn 0;\n}\n"; int main(void) /* The program itself... */ { int i; /* Print the program code, character by character. */ for (i=0; progdata[i]; ++i) { if (progdata[i] == '@' && progdata[i+1] == '@') /* We encounter two '@' signs, so we must print the quoted * form of the program code. */ { quote(progdata); /* Quote all. */ i++; /* Skip second '@'. */ } else printf("%c", progdata[i]); /* Print character. */ } return 0; }

Applying Occam's razor and I might be wrong..

Hiring a candidate and job hunt, both are fucking exhaustive process.

We, as a human race, have aimed for Moon and Mars but are unable to solve the problem at hand which can save millions of hours each year reflecting in immediate cost savings.

Here's my (idealistic) solution:

A product to connect job seekers and recruiters eliminating all the shitty complexities.

LinkedIn solved it, but then hired some PMs who started chasing metrics and bloated the fuck out of the product.

Here are some features of the product I am envisioning:

1. Job seeker signs up and builds their entire profile.

2. Ability to add/remove different sections (limited choices like certifications, projects, etc.), no custom shit allowed because each will have their own shit.

3. By default accept GDPR, Gender Identity, US equality laws, Vetran, yada yada..

4. No resume needed. Profile serves as resume. Eliminate the need to build a resume in word or resume builders.

5. Easy updates and no external resume, saves the job seeker time and gives a standard structure to recruiters to scan through eliminating cognitive load.

6. Recruiters can post their jobs and have similar sections (limited categories again).

7. Add GDPR, Vetran, etc. check boxes need basis.

8. No social shit. Recruiters can see profiles of job seekers and job seekers can see jobs. Period.

9. Employee working in Google? Awesome. Will not show Google recruiters thier profile and employee such job posts.

10. No need to apply or hunt heads. System will automatch and recommend because we are fucking in AI generation and how hard it is to match keywords!!

11. Saves job seekers and recruiters a fuck ton of time hunting the best fit.

12. This system gets you the best job that fits your profile.

Yes, there are flaws in this idea.

Yes, not all use cases are covered.

Yes, shit can be improved and this is hypothetical.

But hey! Surely doable with high impact than going on Moon or Mars right now.

Start-up world has lost its way.

Corona shows that certain webshops were bought up cheaply and can't handle large loads. The fact that my shopping cart constantly crashes, the website itself crashes, flips between logged in and logged out, state is constantly corrupted and.. every so now and then I get 500 server errors, yeah, clear signs of no load balancing policy.

Everyone is raping the shopping sites right now.

I hate cheapskates.

Got some Freelance work(PHP) via my friend so i said ok lets see. Those were some college students and wanted their project to be deployed that their seniors built and none of them knew how to fix the issues so here i step in.
Nightmare of a design, no signs of framework, html/css looks like it was designed by a 10th grader, no prepared queries, every file uses db config seperately so a minor change would require me to edit those 50+ php files... overall a broken mess. FML.

Git should have an option - - gud which signs the last developer to commit to log each time it's called. (in case they borked it). That way, everyone could spam someone's stupid name who broke production.

I wasted nearly 3 hours total of my working hours (I'm a contractor, every hour I don't work, I don't get paid) just to conclude interviews with a jackass who gets bent up over how I won't answer invasive questions about previous work on [big international project] at [big international software company]. For fuck sake, good talent signs NDAs, if you expect me to tell you confidential details, then you can fuck off!!! Asking me 5 times over and over isn't going to get you a different answer after I told you details are confidential.

So here I am doing a follow-up with this new agency and telling them it went well other than the jackass manager who asked invasive questions, tells me he only got 2hrs sleep, and doesn't let me finish my questions. What a fucking waste of my time. And here I am thinking it went alright and I could work there as long as the rate is hourly and I report to someone who takes care of themselves — nope, apparently this guy is the point of contact between the agencies. Good luck finding talent that wants to work for you, you jackass!

Oh, and the best part, he claimed he worked for that same company — so either he knows the NDA or he's a fucking liar.

AND the other guy in the room asked for a generic flow (so I could answer, as the question no longer requires me to disclose confidential information) — I have a solid answer, the other guy was happy. But no, doesn't satisfy the jackasses invasive question.

Fuck!!!!!

I want a robot that can do just one thing, just so I can say fuck you to these forms.

Well that, and maybe one other thing but let’s not talk about that😉

You know, like be able to see what cars and signs look like in pictures. Geez, what the hell were you thinking about.

Things that piss me the fuck off about user programs(in this case text editors):

No fucking documentation or signs of it available, a promise from like 3 years ago to post: tutorials/actual docs and yet unfulfilled shit. Yet the author sells the editor, you can get a free version of it, but the extension api is only given in the paid version. It's like $12 bucks, which depending on where you are from is really the cost of a meal.

The editor in question is 4coder, seems like a good stack for building C/C++ based applications with a lot of cool utilities underneath, I see dudes using it to create a lot of cool shit online, but things like moving input, stopping the thing from formatting pasted code etc etc. Shit, even reaching the documentation is fucky, you get the names of the commands......ok...awesome...wtf do I do with these? Why do i need to watch a 20+ minute tutorial from the developer instead of being able to read a retarded ass tutorial regarding how to do the most basic shit? For an editor that is set to replace Emacs and Vim for developers inside of a windows platform....it sure is lacking AF in that regards.

I really want to work with this thing because it seems to be made with a lot of heart, just can't stand the fact that the documentation is lacking like a motherfucker

I see people posting pictures of computers (ATMs, ad screens, digital signs, instruments, etc) failing and instead showing some Windows function, update, or the desktop. Makes me wonder: WHY would you use Windows this way? Think of how many product keys you'll have to buy and how many systems you'll need maintain to show a stupid sign? There's GOT to be a cheaper way of doing things like this.

Watched westworld. Signs up for a bunch of AI classes.

Ok guys just curious what time do you usually sleep and wake up? I usually sleep around 11pm or 12am and wake up 5:30am. I need to fix this

Does the ease of “hacking”/breaking AI scare anyone else?

I remember a slide from a security presentation I saw once where there were three sections, the first was an AI classification of some animal with about 60% confidence, the second was a small grey static (think old tv static type thing) with a label next to it saying 10% and the third was an AI classification of the first picture overplayed with 10% of that noise and it had 95% confidence that the animal was COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

Adding just 10% noise and AI goes batshit crazy. (No it was not a bat afaik)

THINK ABOUT THIS IN TERMS OF STOP SIGNS. WELP.

Woke up to a migraine... Went to work (this wasnt the best idea), got sent home for the rest of the day. Riding a bike while your brain feels like it wants to exit your skull is not the best thing. Then it proceeds, puking is sometimes a sign for me that the worst part is over. Then head movement headache for some more hours and everything is fine again. Timespan of the whole procedure is about 10 to 12 hours.

At least I have a version of migraine with a temporary vision restriction beforehand according to the doctor some years ago. If I would listen to that signs I could prepare better...

10 Signs You Picked the Wrong ISP !!

10. Their company logo: two tin cans and a length of string.
9. You check out their address, and it's a phone booth containing a Compaq portable and an acoustic coupler.
8. Their chief technical officer lives in a 10-foot-by-7-foot shack in the woods.
7. Their proud boast: "We've been on the Internet since it was CB radio."
6. Their promo materials use the words "information" and "superhighway" in the same sentence.
5. You order an SLIP/PPP connection, e-mail, and 2MB of server space for your personal Web site, and the voice on the other end of the phone asks, "Would you like fries with that?"
4. "As seen in Better Business Bureau special reports."
3. "Access speeds up to 9,600 bps in most areas."
2. They hawk both domain names and Rolexes on street corners.
1. They charge by the word.

I've heard a ton of negative opinion on PHP, which I've never used, so much that if what I've heard is true I wonder why anyone would use it. I asked on dev.to whether there are any real good design ideas going into PHP and got 5 responders. They were all to the effect of "PHP is great because PHP can make websites". I think that says something about the number of good design ideas going into PHP. I'm uncomfortable forming a strong opinion on a language I've never used, but I've never seen signs this bad.

I feel like writing or telling people about the time I jumped from Windows 7 Ultimate and jumping to Windows 10. (I'm not against 10, but I'm never updating after what had happened to me)
It all starts when none of my games will play due to a possible issue with my graphics card. I look up "3D source game bug" and not many results pop up. I go on Microsoft's Qna areas and ask this question but to my surprise nothing they say would make sense. "Clean the pins of your graphics card, make sure you verify the games on Steam". I verified the games and they checked out as perfectly fine. I don't have access to my graphics card because this is a laptop, sadly not a tower.
Two months pass and my computer is already showing signs of stress, like it didn't want to live in a sense. It was three times slower than when I was on Windows 7 and it was unallocating areas of my main hard drive where I could make virtual hard drives.
Instantly I start looking up Linux distros and find Linux Mint. 17.3 was the current version at the time. I downloaded it and burned it onto a DVD-rom and rebooted my computer. I loaded into the disc and to my surprise it seemed almost like Windows 7 apart from the Linux part. I grab my external hard drive and partition it to hold the Linux distro and leave it plugged in incase Windows 10 does actually fail.
On December 19, a few months after Windows 10 had released. I start my laptop to try and continue my studies in video game development. But to my surprise, Windows 10 had finally crashed permanently. The screen flickered blue and black, and an error box saying Loginui.exe failed to start. I look at it for a solid minute as my computer had just committed suicide in a sense.
I reboot thinking it would fix the error but it didn't. I couldn't log in anymore.
I force shutdown the laptop and turn it back on putting it into safe mode.
To my surprise loginui.exe works and I sign in. I look at my desktop, the space wallpaper I always admired, the sound files, screen shots I had saved.
I go into file explorer and grab everything out of my default hard drive Windows was installed on. Nothing but 400gb got left behind and that was mainly garbage prototypes I had made and Windows itself. I formatted my external hard drive and placed everything on it. Escaping Windows 10 with around 100GB of useful data I looked at the final shutdown button I would look at.
I click it and try to boot into normal Windows 10. But it doesn't work. It flickers and the error pops up once more.
I force it to shutdown and insert the previous Linux Mint disc I made and format the default hard drive through Linux. I was done. 10 gave me a lot of shit. Java wouldn't work, my games has a functional UI but no screen popped up except a black abyss and it wouldn't even let me try to update my graphics card, apparently my AMD Radeon 5450 was up to date at the AMD Radeon 5000's.
I installed Linux Mint and thinking the games would actually play I open steam and Launch Half-Life 2 to check if Linux would be nicer to me than Windows 10 had been.
To my surprise the game ran. The scene from Highway 17 popped on screen and the UI was fully functional. But it was playing at 10-15fps rather than the usual 60-70fps. Keep look at my drivers and see my graphics card isn't in use. I do some research and it turns out I have a Hybrid Laptop.
Intel HD Graphics and an AMD Radeon 5450 and it was using the Intel and not the AMD. Months of testing and attempts of getting the games to work at high frame rates pass and the Damn thing still functions at a low terrible fps. Finally I give up. I ask my mom for a Windows 7 disc and she says we can't afford it. A few months pass and I finally get a Windows 7 installation disc through money I've saved up. Proudly I put it into my optical disc drive and install it to my main hard drive deleting Linux completely. I announced to all my friends my computer was back in working order and I install everything I needed, Steam, Skype, Blender, and Unity as well as all my games. I test Half-Life 2 and it's running exceptionally smoothly, I test Minecraft at max settings and it's working beautifully. The computer was functioning properly once again and my life as a developer started as I modeled things and blender, learned beginners C# and learned a lot of Batch. Today the computer still runs at a great speed and I warn others of what happened to me after I installed Windows 10 to my machine if they are thinking of switching from 7 or 8 on an older machine.
Truly the damage to my data cannot be undone. But the memory of the maintenance, work, tests, all are a memory of how Windows 10 ruined me and every night before the one year anniversary of Windows 10's release, I took out the battery of my laptop and unplugged it from the a.c. power, just so Windows 10 doesn't show it's DLLs, batch scripts, vbs scripts, anything on my computer. But now, after this has happened and I have recovered, I now only have a story to tell

Just plugged my headphones into my ThinkPad x220 and then into my IdeaPad Y700... Turns out that the Y700 actually drives them better (not unexpected with the horrible sound system from the x220, ThinkPads never give a shit about sound).

Wallet: *starts sweating profusely*

Are these the first signs of becoming an audiophile? 😰

My colleague had some problems today.
He had problems from both user input and predefined strings sent with ajax to backend. The "&"-sign was splitting values in GET-requests into unintended parameters. So... he was simply going to search and replace all of those signs with the word "and"...

encodeURI()? Why are you sending our forms with GET-requests?! 🙃

So recruiters seem to cause a lot of trouble for the members here so I thought maybe we as a community can write an open letter and publish it somewhere. If a large enough group of us signs it, it might get some traction and start a discussion.

It would be nice if recruiters were made aware of the problems people are facing in the recruitment process, and we too can hear about the realities they are facing with candidates and clients.

We can send this letter to any recruiter as a reply to bad recruitment practice, so it can have practical and educational value too.

Yay or nay?

Would you just leave a company if you didnt feel respected by the manager?

I work at a small start up, and i usually let those small signs of disrespect pass by, mainly because i think i am imagining it and dont wanna make a fuss about it.

But last week at our daily the manager kind of yelled at me which is upsetting me even today. I don't mind criticizm at all, but i feel like this stuff should be said in private not in a meeting with 5 other devs with which i work every day.

Would you quit? Or am I making a drama about it?

Startup needs app done for MVP at a money fair. Startup finds good team. Startup plans every little thing written and has most of the app screens ready. Team signs NDA to see screens and docs. Startup keeps working on docs. Startup postpones dev start to after the fair! Thank you for wasting team's time! FUCK YOU STARTUP! BTW, that's a great app you have there... on 'paper', though it is just useless piece of crap. Great job you headless fucks!

*writes function*
*doesn't work*
*adds more shit to function*
*now can't think of what more you would need to add for it to work*

*changes random signs around for 30 minutes*

A certain person deserves nothing better than the signs of the tires of a full-speed heavy truck tatooed on her face (even though, I admit, it could be an improvement to the overall aesthetic). Especially when she wants to push the office (1 week before the vacations and with no real urgency, while there a tons of other jobs that are way more urgent) to modify one by one some field in the data of 5500 customers only because SHE (and only she) has a bonus, when everything could be solved with a fucking simple sql update and we only need a simple approval for that from the company of the project management software. All of this while she spends the time planning her own vacations in internet, or complaining about EVERYTHING, including the colour of the icons of her pdf reader (30 min complaints about a stupid icon). Responsible my ass.

Interview: looked like I'm gonna use headless cms and jamstack ecosystem

Actual job: xml server with pike for the backend. Frontend served serverside + vuejs so good luck doing anything reactive without refreshing the page

After complaining I got to work on my tech stack but no signs of jamstack/headless. Even worse experience!

I feel like the world has truly gone nuts
I hope we wake up at some point

but even these words won't make sense to anyone, because they're all words that have had their meanings rewritten... we're in a kill box, and all the signs are there, and yet we drudge along, ignoring the red flags

slowly suffocating, justifying the suffocation
but even those words have been rewritten

it feels like the stories of USSR my mom would tell me, unknowing that that wasn't how the western world worked in the 90s. Her attitude towards life makes more sense now, because that's how you'd have to act to survive in such a place. I didn't like her acting that way, but I might have to do the same one day

I am working on a project which is written in C#, Razor, php, Fucking Java and Objective C. I guess I am showing signs of multiple personality disorder... Specially when I switch from Objective C to others

Frak Yahoo!
Son of a duck!
Why don't you just let me delete my account?!
>Sign In
>Please change your password
*changes password*
>Sign In
>We sent a code to your recovery email
*Signs in with the code
>Oops, can't load your emails temporarily
(And the first and only email it loads is "Find your right life partner!")
*On a quest to find the hidden treasure of the Delete Account link*
?
>Read this before you delete your account
>Continue to terminate your account
*Delete*
>Oops, can't delete your account for some reason, try again later
*Nothing else works on the page*
*One link works - Cancel*
>Sign In to Delete your account
>>Repeat
Trucking motherduck!

Why is deleting accounts such a hard thing to do?

So some big customers are getting problems for a given software project. The relevant dev team, customer support and I, part of another division of QA, need support from a specific QA team. We work for a multinational company employing above a thousand of people around the world.

None of the members are giving signs of life. Nobody from any QA team answers my emails, slack messages or anything. Management does not seem to care either. Did they suddenly die without my knowledge? I am just trying to do my job and find solutions to problems.

I am an inch close to giving no fucks and start playing video games. lol

If your boss is lately suddenly being a giant prick to you, then you're likely going to get fired.

"I recently saw another demonstration of graphic design’s ubiquity. Someone had taken a series of photographs of busy streets and then painstakingly removed all the logos, symbols, signs, colours, street names and road markings. In other words, they had removed all the graphic design from these photographs. The results were staggering. A world without graphic design is an unrecognizable world — more alien than all but the most extreme sci-fi imaginings." - Adrian Shaughnessy

Last year in uni:
Module 1: Build two projects in a team using java

Module 2: Build a website for an airport using plain php/javascript/css (i had no previous experience with thia pathetic language with the dollar signs)

Module 3: build a website using python

Module 4: Rasperry PI with Matlab

*** I have to study C++ for the job I will be working at after uni..

I really want to specialise in C++ and finally get proficient in it, but hell no my curriculum requires me to know how to do the same exact thinf with 75668888765 languages... fs

I have healthy anxiety, it started around 15.

I have melanonychia right now, which is a change in a nail pigmentation. I have a grey vertical line running from the the start of the nail to the end.

I had it checked out 6 months ago with a dermatologist and he said it was fine, to do a checkup later.

I took a picture now and it's a bit wider than 6 months ago but it still seems pretty regular and doesn't seem to have signs of subungual melanoma (skin cancer beneath nail, which is the only danger).

Because of getting wider, I'm doing another checkup this week. I wished I had more money.

Meditation is helping me a lot, like big time, but I feel that it's just a distraction for a potentially early demise.

I fucking hate this part of my life. It's too painful.
I'm not depressed enough to not want to be alive, but sometimes I wished I wasn't.

I started working at a new company a couple of weeks ago as a Dev/Ops engineer, my first real ops position after years of being mostly a dev with two sys-admin positions sprinkled in.

I should have seen the red warning signs when, during the interview, a developer told me the old devops team was so bad they fired all of them last year. After I started, I learned that all four people on our team were totally new. Three were hired after the last guy from the old team left (without any notice) and one person use to be a developer who was transferred over to this new team (but not to lead it).

Token for App -> backend authentication is generated one time when the user signs up. Sniff it once and you've got access to the user account forever.

Passwords are hashed with one round of SHA1, no salt.

Everything including login data is sent over plain HTTP.

Luckily I got permission to fix that mess

Oh China, you still continue to amuse me... in that special way where i somehow both expect it and am hilariously, breifly shocked... then it's somber, confirming what we know is real/continues to be a societal and cognitive decline trend with no apparent rock bottom, without all-out demise as a near certainty... nor a hail mary play.

... but hey, what better way to digest the real-time info, indicative of something that should be terrifying, but is all too expected, than this unique type of format?

Seriously though, even if it worked amazingly, why would anyone be using it outside in public? Does it require several hours a day? If not, and it was a worthwhile result for you... wouldn't you just make it part of your morning and/or evening routine...even if it had nothing to do with aesthetics, that cant be sanitary... unless you also carry it in a water-tight container or disinfectant and typically bring/use your toothbrush and toothpaste mid-day or at unusual intervals.

I have sooo many more questions about this... and none are relative to who designed/mass produced this, nor the quality of the silicone. As it was developed/produced by the silicone factory ive done great, professional, no bs, business with for about a decade... which is why i waited years to publicly ridicule this contraption.

Fyi- their primary product lines are things like bongs and dab containers; im on the fence of it that makes this better or worse.

Creepy personal truth... i reeeeally wanna know how much that woman got paid... and do to my skill set (ie. Im near utter certainty that i could find her and ask her... likely easily abd definitely without being caught doing anything suspicious. Pro tip: publicly declaring things like this makes it a bit easier to not end up doing it... obvious premeditation adding significantly more to any sentencing.

What are the signs that you should quit your programming job? I always work 12+ everyday. I came to the point that I'm starting to get sick. Now my boss is mad because I did not go to work for a reason that I'm not feeling well. Plus, we are having deathmarch project management. I could say I'm already burned out. Don't know what to do.

I'm tired. I don't want to do these tests anymore. These vague test scenarios I have to decrypt on my own lest asking business shows signs of weakness. I'm slow to test and going way beyond the hours the client estimated and you folks just accepted. How can I finish this when I get pulled to meetings which I am not the decision maker but I'm supposed to be the technical one to help them decide. In between this testing I get emails to help check on issues I'm not even a part of. Production issues I can understand because those have a feel of critical and priority but if you pull me to that I lose time testing. I'm trying. But I'm truly very slow at this. I'm a slow tester for this set of test cases. I'm hating myself every minute as the hours inch to the deadline which is today. I want to sleep but I want to finish as well. Shitty days of drone work that could have been given to somebody else but I can't say no to because you guys accepted. Someone from management just see please, don't give this to me. But you can't see. You probably don't even understand. They asked, you caved because you can't see the list of tasks and level of detail that comes with each thing they ask. This testing is a ridiculous use of my time but I can't say that to the client. You could have. I want to. I truly want to say "Fuck these tests". I tried to push back. But the client of course reasoned back and it was understandable to ask. To do what's good and what's best. How can I say no to that?! I'm almost depleted. I'll just finish this somehow.

My manager had someone else manage me for my whole time at the company so far. Nearly two years now. Anything I’d come to him with, he’d direct me to this other person.

Fair enough, dude’s really good and I learn a lot from him. I see why they trust him with so much. I think he’s a genius. I’ll never be that good. Embarrassed I’m only a few years his junior. Wonder why he’s okay with being a manager for employee pay. Don’t think about it much, normal corporate BS.

Well it got way more “normal” when his ass got laid off without notice. Feel terrible. Him and 70% of my branch’s full timers. Wonder how I got so lucky. Everyone’s gone. We barely have enough people to do a standup. They all had 5+ years on their belts minimum. Only the contractors are left.

Manager emergency meets with me. Tells me all his best staff are gone and I am now the only front end guy on the team. He tells me he is not confident in the fact I am responsible for all of the old guys work and he is worried. He thinks I can’t do it cause he thinks I suck. Fuck me man.

My manager is pissing himself realizing he has lost the only people keeping HIS job for him. He has no clue my skill level. He sees my PR’s take a bit longer to merge, yet doesn’t realize I asked that friend of mine who was managing me to critique my code a bit harder, mentorship if you will, so we’d often chat about how to make the code better or different ways of approaching problems from his brain, which I appreciated. He has seen non-blocking errors come through in our build pipelines, like a quota being reached for our kube cluster (some server BS idfk, all I know is I message this Chinese man on slack when I get this error and he refreshes the pods for me) which means we can only run a build 8x in one day before we are capped. Of all people, he should be aware of this error message and what is involved with fixing it but he sees it and nope, he reaches out to me (after the other guy had logged out already, of course) stating my merged code changes broke the build and reverts it before EOD. Next day, build works fine. He has the other guy review my PR and approve, goes on assuming he helped me fix my broken code.

Additionally, he’s been off the editor for so long this fool wouldn’t even pass an intro to JavaScript course if he tried. He doesn’t know what I’m doing because HE just doesn’t know what I’m doing. Fuck me twice man.

I feel awful.

The dude who got fired has been called in for pointless meetings TO REVIEW MY CODE still. Like a few a week since he was laid off. When I ask my manager to approve my proposals, or check to verify the sanity of something (lots of new stuff, considering I’m the new manager *coughs*) he tells me he will check with him and get back to me (doesn’t) or he tells me to literally email him myself, but not to make any changes until he signs off on them.

It’s crazy cause he still gets on me about the speed of stuff. Bro we got NOTHING coming from top down because we just fired the whole damn corp and you have me emailing an ex-employee to verify PATCH LEVEL CHANGES TO OUR FUCKING CODE.

GET ME OUT

Hello everyone. I need your help and suggestions. I submitted an app to the Apple app store and got this response.

___________________________

Your app or metadata includes an account registration feature, which is considered an access to external mechanisms for purchases or subscriptions to be used in the app.

To resolve this issue, please remove the account registration feature and any other fully qualified links to your site that could indirectly provide access to these mechanisms, such as links to web pages for support, FAQs, product or program details, etc.

____________________________

My app only has a signup form that signs the user up on Firebase. What are my options? Is a simple signup form not allowed in iOS apps? This just does not make any sense to me. Please let me know what you would do.

A programmer was walking to work one day when he saw a sign that said "Free Coffee". He thought it was a great offer and decided to enter the shop. He was greeted by a friendly barista who asked him what he wanted.

"I'll have a latte, please," the programmer said.

"Sure, that'll be $3.50," the barista said.

"But the sign outside said free coffee," the programmer protested.

"Oh, that's only for our regular customers," the barista explained. "You have to buy at least 10 coffees to get one free."

The programmer was annoyed by this and decided to leave. He walked out of the shop and saw another sign that said "Free Wi-Fi". He thought he could at least check his email and browse the web for a while. He entered the shop again and asked the barista for the Wi-Fi password.

"Sorry, we don't have Wi-Fi here," the barista said.

"Then why do you have a sign that says free Wi-Fi?" the programmer asked.

"Oh, that's only for our premium customers," the barista said. "You have to buy at least 20 coffees to get access to our Wi-Fi network."

The programmer was furious by this and decided to leave for good. He walked out of the shop and saw another sign that said "Free Parking". He thought he could at least park his car there and save some money. He drove his car to the parking lot and parked it in an empty spot. He got out of his car and saw a ticket on his windshield. It said "Parking Fee: $10".

He looked around and saw a security guard who was writing tickets for all the cars in the lot. He ran to the guard and asked him why he had to pay for parking.

"Sorry, sir, this is a paid parking lot," the guard said.

"Then why do you have a sign that says free parking?" the programmer asked.

"Oh, that's only for our VIP customers," the guard said. "You have to buy at least 50 coffees to get free parking here."

The programmer was outraged by this and decided to sue the shop for false advertising. He hired a lawyer and filed a lawsuit against the shop. He went to court and presented his case to the judge. He showed the judge the signs that said free coffee, free Wi-Fi, and free parking. He explained how he was deceived and cheated by the shop. He asked the judge to award him damages for his time, money, and frustration.

The judge listened to his arguments and then asked the shop owner to defend himself. The shop owner said he had nothing to say. He just pointed to a sign behind him that said "Free Trial".

my phone is dying. Very slowly, i see the first signs of decay, i probably have months or even more than a year, but it will die on me. I knew it will happen.

I currently have an asus phone (ZE552KL), it is technically DualSim or SD-Card, has a camera that is..badish and sometimes the bluetooth wont start and then it reboots. Also the camera has a pure software bug where it isnt able to ever focus properly, but with tricks you can get it to work again. The asus forums constantly refer to sending it to a repair station (wherever one is in germoney). That annoys me.

Back to dying. For now its definetly the battery.
I remember when you could change the battery on a whim. Great times. My last phone died duo battery aswell (well, the gps module broke aswell so it wasnt all flowers besides the battery).

My current asus phone was something around 300 € and according to reviews 2 years ago it has a good bang for the buck ratio.

I havent looked into the market, just a cursory glance. But apparently if you want a phone that has a decent battery life, is not basically a tablet, has an sd card slot and a camera that is not total rubbish it gets hard. Its hard to balance those things, and if you want a swappeable battery all hope is lost.
Further i have started to misstrust chinese phones, the asus software support is wacky and some stuff is weird. I suspect its as bad with huwai and all the others. Also its apparently kinda hard to get any resemblance of quality in accessoires for non-mainstream brands (i mean cases and display protection)

So i dread the future, the future in which i need a new phone that is somewhere in the mid price segments and fits my needs. In the end i will take something suboptimal and be unhappy with it till it dies.

I despise the phone market.

After a few years at one company, most of the colleagues that take their dev education seriously have left. We had a mini community keeping ourselves up to speed as technology progresses. As time passed, I've noticed that I'm stagnating which is one of the biggest signs, for me, that I should move somewhere.

I'm now at a new company, working on a project that is in a much worse place than any of the project I've worked on previously.

I've done my due diligence and checked the company before joining, of course. And I've asked all the questions I wanted to know so I can know with some level of certainty whether we're the right fit. Sadly, that definitely didn't turn out to be true.

I'm currently working on tasks that any intern/junior can work on, while being paid a senior salary. There are a lot of areas in the project where I can spend my time more efficiently, e.g. stability, performance. But, it turns out that swapping colors, brushing some css here and there is more important to the client than fixing very, very unstable project.

And I'm not the share holder. It's not up to me to decide. The only thing I can comment with certainty is, why just not hire 2 juniors that can do the same work I do right now, instead of wasting my time/energy on meaningless tasks and such boring issues that I've left behind years ago. I've emphasized that being challenged is very important to me, and I'm given breadcrumbs to deal with.

And I'm unsure what to do now. I don't want to be that guy leaving just a few months after joining. Should I wait it out? I already mentioned that I don't think I'm properly utilized to lead dev and PM. I guess I should give them a month or two to see whether something will change?

What are the most important qualities you look for when hiring new devs? What are the biggest warning signs for you? We're gearing up for interviewing devs in the near future so I figured I'd ask the devRant think tank its thoughts on the matter.

In terms of developing:
Best: made a responsive web app that connects to a desktop software and allows to make orders for providers.
Worst: the company for wich it was developed shows no signs of implementing that app now.

I asked someone to work on a project with me because I'm trying to make a game

Simple

They set up interactions with entities, I set up actual functions
Since I'm having trouble, I create a roster for people to sign
This one dude signs like he knows abso-fucking-lutely everything
And as we're sitting in the CS Lab the only things I can see and hear him doing is typing what he needs on github
pressing CTRL+C
and CTRL+V
and I don't really mind because hey
sometimes our brains slow down
but when I asked for help with this one thing he's out here treating me like a fucking retard
like okay at least I don't need github 24/7

in the end it went okay

I'm trying to improve my email setup once again and need your advice. My idea is as follows:
- 2-5 users
- 1 (sub)domain per user with a catchall
- users need to be able to also send from <any>@<subdomain>.<domain>
- costs up to 1€ per user (without domain)
- provider & server not hosted in five eyes and reasonably privacy friendly
- supports standard protocols (IMAP, SMTP)
- reliable
- does not depend on me to manage it daily/weekly
- Billing/Payment for all accounts/domains at once would be nice-to-have, but not necessary

I registered a domain with wint.global the other day and I actually managed to get this to work, but unfortunately their hosting has been very underwhelming.. the server was unreachable for a few minutes yesterday not only once, but roughly once an hour, and I'd really rather be able to actually receive (and retrieve) my mail. Also their Plesk is quite slow. To be fair for their price it's more like I pay for the domain and get the hosting for free, but I digress..

I am also considering self hosting, but realistically that means running it on a VPS and keeping at secure and patched, which I'd rather outsource to a company who can afford someone to regularly read CVEs and keep things running. I don't really want to worry about maintaining servers when I'm on holiday for example and while an unpatched game server is an acceptable risk, I'd rather keep my email server on good shape.

So in the end the question is: Which provider can fulfill my email dreams?

My research so far:
1. Tutanota doesn't offer standard protocols. I get their reasons but that also makes me depended on their service/software, which I wouldn't like. Multiple domains only on the business plans.
2.With Migadu I could easily hit their limits of incoming mails if someone signs up for too many newsletters and I can't (and don't want to) micromanage that.
3. Strato: Unclear whether I can create mails for subdomains. Also I don't like the company for multiple reasons. However I can access a domains hosted there and could try...
4. united-domains: Unclear whether I can create mails for subdomains.
5. posteo: No custom domains allowed.

I'm getting tired.. *sigh*

This *is* a question you silly wrong tagging mother fucker, how dare you doubt me?

Alright, no more disclaimer: I like dungeons and dragons, but it's too fucking much in terms of rules and systems and shit, as in just *making* a character can take a long ass while.

And if that's the highest level of all your ANAL preferences then OK, but I'm not you and things only come OUT of my ass, not inwards, I swear.

Anyhoo, I got fed up with it and wrote my own ruleset and setting as a last fuck you to everyone. It's very simple: if you want to be some kinky magical alien hermaphrodite royal prostitute half sewer dragon princess and three quarters bearded female incest child of demons and fairies then FINE, but you get no bonuses for that shit.

Get it? No complex racial level scaling bullshit, FUCK YOU, race and background is just for vibes, end of story.

You get no attribute or skills or shit to distribute on level one. All you get is a prompt: pick three actions, that's it. You wanna be sexy? Pick "seduce". You wanna set turds on fire? Pick "ignite". Are you an edge lord? Pick "summon". Would you be my wife? Pick "heal", "buff" and "smite".

The game is turn based, and each action you can take is effectively a spell. Everyone can cast a basic spell like walk, attack, talk, crouch, etcetera -- that costs no mana. Special crap like flying and firing fucking electricity costs mana, and you can only do those if you either picked the spell on level one or learnt it later from a book/tutor/demonic bargain/whatever.

Which spells are valid for taking at level one is up to the game master; I just tell people to pick three verbs or short sentences, and if they choose something that's too broken like "split the Red Sea" I'm like nah you're not Moses, try again.

Still with me? Good. You get eight points of health, four points of mana, and one point of stamina. They're all energy, and you can use it to power your magery, but spending all your health means you fucking die.

Stamina recharges fully every turn, and is used for the aforementioned basic actions. All of these cost one point of stamina each. If you run out of stamina, you can use mana. Or your BLOOD.

Level one spells cost one mana, level two cost two and so on. You get back one point of mana each turn, and you can fire all the spells you want during it, long as you have mana. Or BLOOD.

That's good and all, but if you spend anywhere over eleven combined points of energy in one go, you spontaneously combust and die, erasing all signs of life in a twenty-meter radius. This is called incineration, and it *will* leave behind a blackened crater from which the dark servants of the Horror Immemorial may or may not crawl out of.

In case you didn't guess by now, your blood doesn't fucking come back unless you eat, sleep or see a healer.

But anyway, the more points you spend into casting a spell -- and remember, basic attack counts as a spell -- the more powerful it is, so the bigger your diceroll can get. My rule is I add one dice for every fourth point of energy spent, so (1d4), (1d4 + 1d6), (1d4 + 1d6 + 1d8), incineration.

Additionally, for every three points of energy spent, your spell can hit one more target. That's right, you like AoE? Then spend more mana, bitch. Oh, and if you're using shit like poison it lasts one more turn for every two points of energy spent.

How do we calculate damage? Diceroll over two and fuck your mother. Armor class? Resistances? Out of my face with that shit. Damage reduction is called "tyranny" and is for dungeon bosses only.

If you live long enough to get to level two, you *do* get attributes. Pick:
- Grit: +2 health, +1 to fighter shit type rolls.
- Cunning: +2 mana, +1 to rogue shit type rolls.
- Allure: +1 stamina, +2 to wizard shit type rolls.
- Spirit: +1 to elemental shit type spells.
- Faith: +1 to benefactor paragon asshole shit type spells.
- Hatred: +1 to demonic murder hobo destructive shit type spells.

On second level, you can pick one of the spells you know to get +1 to it, specifically. Eh, "+1" just means you get a bonus to some diceroll, no time to explain I'm running out of characters what the fuck.

On level three, the cycle repeats. Pick attr, pick spell. DONE.

Oh right, and weapons. Mostly just vibes, pick your fancy and fuck off. Normally, you can hit things one tile away; if you have a BIG melee weapon you can hit from *two* tiles away, and if you have a ranged weapon you can shoot anyone in sight, but you need to spend one point of energy to reload.

And there, all bases covered in less that 5000 characters with some flair to spare, now suck my fucking cock Hasbro.

What was the question? Oh yeah right, I'm gonna GPL this shit and put it in browsers. I think I'm going to write it in Kotlin but I'm open to suggestions. Would you guys like to play it/contribute to it's development for shits and giggles?

C- let's See
C is a procedurally developed language follows sequential method of solving a problem.
Example
If a teacher of an Institute teaching various subjects, Maths, English, Science and History.
Case1.One student comes and asks teacher to teach English
and next student to teach Maths,
And the other to teach History.
Case2.Next students comes for English
Case3.Other one for History.

So what I understood regarding C is procedural language is
It completes first case1,next case2, and then case3. (Task after task)
Here English is taught 2 times seperate
And History too 2 times separately making time and process complexity.

C is a platform based high level language support only desired platform. If I program in windows with i3 processor , it runs only on the same OS and Processor, if code is run in other computers.
Single threaded, if a code is interrupted in between, stops there and doesn't allow other part of the code to run.

Java
In this if the same above cases encountered then and tell
Computer to create a Class of English and tell all the students to attend the class(time saving, No complexity and not repetitive)
Same way Creating History class and make all students attend the class at once.
Students may be the objects created.
Multi threaded language, if a task is interrupted following code cannot be stopped. Allows other part of thecode to run.

JVM- Java virtual machine allows Java code into signs that can be understood by computer. Where as C converts into binary code.

A class concept added to C language become C++