Client: Can I speak to the developer responsible for my website?
Developer: Speaking...
Client: You have a deep voice for a 5 year old.

2 years ago: Connection goes down at the office

Boss: -"Damnit, you are responsible to ensure uptime. Fix a redundant connection asap."

Me: Fixes redundant connection

Today: Connection goes down at the office, failover connection does not work.

Me: Calls ISP and asks what's happened.

ISP: -"Your boss cancelled the account 3 months ago"

...

Fun fact: Michael Widenius named "MySQL" after his daughter My. When MySQL was acquired by sun, he decided to start a new open source database, "MariaDB", named after his second daughter Maria.

This guy is (partially) responsible for two of the largest databasesystems in the world.

Imagine his daughters apply for a database engineering job one day. During application process: "One of the largest databases in the world was named after me..." 😂

So i can listen in on calls for my training.

I felt so sorry for a colleague when he spend nearly half an hour explaining that we only HOST someone's site and are NOT responsible for the code. (just for the record, he explained it in 15 different ways so anyone (nearly) would've understood but it seemed like the person in the phone just didn't want to hear it).

Poor guy (my collegue) 😞

Hey, wanna hear a disappointing stack?

- WordPress
- jQuery
- vanilla inline CSS
- shitty random legacy PHP

Disclaimer:
The author is NOT responsible nor liable for any injuries, mental health issues, sanitary problems, asexuality, crippling depression, triggered by this rant nor liable for any damaged walls, hurt animals or deaths.

A US senator or judge or whatever his title is said today that he wants companies/governments to build a 'responsible encryption' system.

Preferably that would exist out of a big ass database which stores the private keys of citizens so in case a person loses their private key or the government needs access to encrypted content, that is possible.

NOO, WHAT COULD FUCKING POSSIBLY GO WRONG!?!?!

Seriously those kind of people should not be allowed to have the kind of positions they have.

This shit makes me so angry.

Interview (first job):

Interviewer: So what languages do you know?

Me: Well, i learnd C, C++ and Matlab scripting, but i'm learning C# as a personal project.

Interviewer: Perfect!

First day:

Interviewer(now boss): So, a guy is leaving next week and you will be replacing him. He has 70 projects and you will be responsible for this production test platform in JAVA

Today it was revealed that the dutch government doesn't even fucking use SPF records for their email. Someone found out by sending an email in the dutch's govt name and it actually fucking worked.

I hope they fire the people responsible for NOT implementing the most BASIC FUCKING EMAIL SECURITY/VALIDITY MEASURES IN FUCKING HISTORY.

Incompetent cocksucking motherfucking fucks.

My freelancing horror story?

I remember like it was yesterday. It was late at night and I was doing some freelancing. (You know... the good stuff...)

All of a sudden the light began flickering, it got really cold and I felt like something was watching me!

OMG! SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED MY SHOULDER! I TURN AROUND AND...

...nothing. Nobody was there.

"I really need some sleep", I think to myself and turn back to my monitor.

Wait a second, what's that?
"10%..."
"20%..."
"60%..."

Oh my god...
How could this happen to me?
Those bastards got me after all!

I just witnessed...

A WINDOWS UPDATE!!!

The end~
______________________________

I don't feel responsible for pants that need to be washed now.

We have this guy who is responsible for software testing, user support and stuff. Not a programmer but with good technical base knowledge. He was interested in writing automated tests, and I told him he might take some time to learn and help us there. In the last months I had to answer and explain a gazillion questions about our codebase and coding in general and it took me lot of time. But last week he showed me his first test suite which was actually good code and showed a lot of understanding of all aspects of this. This was more satisfying than anything on work ever.

I am the person at my job responsible for our software to work cross-browser. I don't feel comfortable right now.

Me becoming responsible:
Help in household chores ❌
Help siblings ❌
Finish college work ❌
Report every bug i encounter in Pubg ✔️

Yeees! Got my contract for the time after my apprenticeship. 4 days/week and a shitload of 💰, from my point of view. 36k € per year.

Additionally I got the position I wanted, I'm responsible for the whole infrastructure and the conversion of our app from Winforms to WPF.

I'M HAPPY AS F*** xD

I'm seeing people defending clearly-injectable code and I'm just stunned.

And this person in particular is supposed to be responsible (at least partially) for finding security flaws.

I don't know what to say.

Whoever is responsible for the responsible for the refund process on airbnb can eat a bunch of dicks, watch me spill all of the fluids over his keyboard and then watch me break every single one of his/her fingers.
How the fuck do you dare to keep all of my money in some kind of internal wallet while I clearly need it to get a hotel after your starrated host left me hanging, autoaccepting but then telling me via phone that he using vacation till Friday... Half a goddamned fucking hour after I tried to call him. I want to report the shit out of this asshole, but no I can't because I cancelled my stay.
For the love of God and his creation is it this hard to punish assholes for ruining my new year and making me freeze my hand and ears of?

C is a cool programming language where if you want to return a string from a function you have to set up an entire physical-universe human social system for adjudicating who is responsible for freeing it "In order to create a C string, you must first create civilization"

"In order to create a C string, you must first create civilization"

You want to know what really grinds my gears?
When you are about to tap on some link or whatever on your phone and the app/website with its 8th sense sees that and right before you touch the touch screen, it either moves the content or displays an advertisement so you inADvertently tap it instead of what you wanted to tap.
I hope the people responsible for this sorcery get mutilated and eaten by a horde of zombified liliputs.

!!rant

When I worked at a previous job, they only gave out decent titles (and salaries) to upper management. Everyone else... well... I was the Domain/Sysadmin, responsible for the domain and both DCs, upgrading the physical network (plus recabling it: the MDF was a *disaster*), as well as all backups, migrations, printers, servers, and workstations/lappys in the building, plus pushing software, antivirus, updates, security policies, etc. I had complete access to everything, and ofc was responsible for everything. Nothing on my network caused anyone (else) any trouble except one particular printer I wasn't able to replace. Also, nothing new appeared on my network without me noticing and tracking it down.

But my official title? "IT Assistant".
I made $11/hr.

Worth it? Take a flying leap into an overflowing outhouse during the height of a Vegas summer if you even begin to think so.

I eventually managed to switch to a developer position, and (after several attempts) got a ~$5/hr raise. The girl they replaced me with in IT with some ditz who had never installed an OS before, didn't know what the BIOS was, and couldn't figure out why a monitor... plugged into itself... wasn't working. Things went downhill from there.

List of commands that will destroy your Linux system.

BEWARE! THESE COMMANDS WILL GREATLY HARM YOUR LINUX DEVICE! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DAMAGE DONE ON YOUR DEVICE! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE IF YOU CANT GET YOUR DEVICE TO WORK AGAIN!

- sudo rm -rf /*
- mkfs.ext4 /dev/sda
- cowsay hello there >> dev/sda
- :(){:|:&};:
- rm -f /bin/su
- rm -f /usr/bin/sudo
- cd /etc;echo hello | tee *

We got the report made by the EU committee that is assigned to evaluate our project (robotics in the service of healthcare).
I was full on trashing the reviewers for writing some seriously dumb shit, and low-key dissing my professor. Until I got to the part where they addressed the work package I was responsible for. They referred to my work as impressive and innovative, and I was like, well, maybe they're not that bad 😂

Never do something​ technical for free. You end up being treated as the responsible person for batteries even if your actual profession is web development.

Most expensive and best rated school form in my country

Most polite, educated and responsible students

...and this is how they look like one minute before class starts

So that happened. Don't want to be the responsible for leaking my company's private key.

I really like my little group for this one huge exam project we have. Everyone's nice, ambitious, takes the project seriously, responsible and communicates well. Additional bonus is we're all on the same skill level so everyone's learning and nobody is dragging a huge load alone. We've had no issues so far and despite being fairly early in the project we're making good progress all around. Is this what a stress-free experience feels like? Pretty happy with the project in general and I think our app idea is pretty cool too.

One of the bigger and more important IT projects this fall. Technical solution proposal needs to be ready by Thursday morning but is far from complete. Solution? The responsible person for this went on a two day mindfulness training. Apparently totally oblivious to the term "sense of urgency". Must be a citizen of procrastiNATION.

Google.

A company that I looked up to when I was younger, believing that they were the champions of free speech/anti-censorship, is perhaps the biggest entity out there that’s responsible for quashing down any parties that do not kowtow to approved political talking points.

Request from a senior backend dev in a previous company:

Talking to the team thats responsible for the auth API's is such a pain. For this new API can we just not add any auth to it? Its only going to return details about who the email address belongs too. Like name, address, date of birth, car registration etc. No one will care about that, and it will be easier for mobile to integrate right?

I created an Android app for a client. An intern at his company who is responsible for content updates sent me this email:

Hi,

I'm including a photo of an Android displaying the app on screen, in our latest marketing email.

Will the Android's screen in the photo update itself if I update the content of the actual app?

Best,
Intern

*facepalm*

I Thought Iceberg was responsible😛

Or maybe I could build a C compiler and be responsible for ";" !
Making programmers cry and scream.

Just imagine what Boeing 737 max airplane system developers going through right now !!

When an error in the system can actually claims ppl Life.

Who want to be responsible for testing and approving such system. !!

<Email thread>

Manager: Hey @iiii, please, create stories for {things that shall be done}. You will be responsible for that implementation next sprint.

Me: *procrastinating like a bitch*

**several hours later**

Dev from another team: Actually, we discussed that with {upper management guy} and it seems like those things are unapplicable for current project, so we'll send a letter to {client} to remove those requirements.

Manager: @iiii, don't create stories.

</Email thread>

Me: *welp, good thing I did exactly nothing so far*

Who the hell is responsible for this mess?!
*git blame*
Oh, it was me...

Being responsible for a massive breach of personal & financial data.

Seriously, that crap scares me way more than any amount of downtime does.

My GF is a non-tech-savvy linguistics bachelor who uses elementaryOS as her only operating system on her only laptop. I'm not responsible for this, I only helped her install it instead of Windows when she asked me to do so.

She's a living proof that the stereotype of Linux being "too hard" or "exclusively for geeks" is outdated to say the least. Yes, Ubuntu and elementaryOS are not as kewl as Arch and Gentoo, but they are still better than a popular blue-colored American operating system that sends unencrypted screenshots of your desktop to some unknown IP addresses every 10 minutes.

"As a team, we have the shared responsibility to ___".

(replace with ALL of the following: resolve bugs, do junior's code reviews, clean up dead code, keep the kitchen clean, improve test coverage, write documentation, order coffee beans, etc)

NO. JUST FUCKING STOP RIGHT THERE. Shared responsibilities do not exist. A single person is responsible, and can optionally delegate tasks.

EITHER I DO IT AND I'LL BE FUCKING AWESOME AT IT, OR SOMEONE ELSE DOES — BUT I'LL SLAP SLACKERS IN THE GENITALS WITH MY KEYBOARD.

Fucking startup hipsters with their community driven attitude, this way no shit gets done, ever.

When you know your code will stop working at some point.

Got this rude ass email from an idiot client who thinks I'm solely responsible for figuring out how to link his 3rd party email/newsletter sign up form to his new website without any access to the account. He "doesn't have the time to research". Newsflash asshat, I'm not responsible for your 3rd party shit. Go contact their support. 🙄😑

Me: "I should try to waste less money this month"
Also me: "I wonder what 1000 euro whiskey tastes like..."

(Please describe in comments, I don't actually have 1000 euros for whiskey.)

Our CEO suddenly wanted to work with an outsourcing company to build the product. On one of the "sale" meetings I asked a guy from that company:
- Can we interview developers before they join our project?
- Our company is responsible for the quality of the service we provide, - the guy replied
- What are you going to charge us for?
- For all the hours developers worked
- So your service is developer hours, and we'll be obligated to pay for all the hours they worked regardless the code quality or the performance, right?

So it seems outsourcing company is only responsible for their time sheets to correspond to real hours worked? :-)

We call such a companies in Ukraine - a galley

The only person responsible for the server maintenance has put in his resignation period in.

The other person that has access to the servers does not know the difference between production & lab.

Fun times ahead

Incredible how Git makes you a more responsible developer

Best practice of the day:
Single responsibility principle - One class should be responsible for everything!

Either that or someone was payed for LoC. 😁

Holy fucking shit! What the actual fuck is this?!!!

The funny part: this is not the worst e-mail I got from them, the person who is responsible for these e-mails should have been fired 2 years ago.

Overheard a conversation between programmers:

.... Your dirty hack finally caught up with you!
.. it is responsible for bug A, B , .. E ... F..

That "temp" code was not touched in years.

y'know, if your coworkers annoy the shit out of you, sometimes it's worth looking at how the company is treating them.

a lot of what i have to deal with spans from an environment that demands speed at the expense of quality and won't reward developers for their effort, cause they simply don't understand the effort it takes. we have a tiny team responsible for a nation wide program, and people are just shocked when they hear this, because the work we do is in fact amazing for a group of 5. everyone is just tired, overworked and badly recompensed for it. this shit will hit the fan pretty soon

I wonder how many decades it will take until employees stop to fucking stick their passwords to the computer screen at their station. It is a complete fucking nightmare if you are responsible for the network!
Can we bring back the guillotine? But it must be stub!
Those nitwits shall suffer!

#1 GoogleMap map = null;
#2 map.clear();

I'm used to bad code, since i'm responsible for code review of acadamic projects. But when i saw that one and last year students saying they dont know the reason, i died a bit inside

Fuck Coronavirus and fuck the person, responsible for the outbreak.
The local commiccon, linux-days and my working-period at a location on the other side of Germany got canceled.
My complete weekend just got annihilated.

Worst dev disaster

I was responsible for allowing users to purchase a six month premium plan in our app for free.

Only way we got to know about this was that a customer himself emailed us saying we are allowing users to get premium access for free.
Thankfully he emailed us within a day of the release and we didn't incur massive losses.

A language is not responsible of your incompetence

Help?

I work in support and some of the developers here don't seem to realize that their customers can't use the app they wrote because of all the bugs, but they freak out if anyone so much as *thinks* there's a problem with the code.

We have evidence it's their code. How do I get them to see I'm not saying their code sucks, just that a few changes might help performance?

I don't want to insult them, but at the same time, they're only responsible for one application...

devRant should place an explicit notice upon registration:
"devRant cannot be held responsible for proctrastination when you have pressing deadlines :D"

and every 20 minutes a popup saying "get back to work! it's been a while"

Being me. Fresh out of UNI with a three year bachelor in CS, no work experience. Starts in a big tech company with a lot promise of exciting project etc. Starts in 3 projects with one lead dev and two senior devs.

First month begins. I start by setting up my local environment and read documentations, which is fairly irrelevant and old. One of the senior devs quits.

Second month begins. Lead dev quits as well and the other senior dev having sick leave for the rest of the month. Basically I'm on my own, but thankfully not responsible for the projects.

Third month begins. The other senior dev is still sick. Nobody to help. Now I'm forced to talk to customer with a lacking knowledge of projects. Nobody knows what is going on. Hopefully my other senior dev will come back.

Fourth month begins. My senior have quit as well. I've been assigned as responsible of all three projects now. FML.

Fifth month begins. I begged my manager for help. Got a junior dev to help me with one of the projects. He and I still have no clue what we should do.

What a shitty start to a career as a developer.

Anybody having a similar experience?

Was on a call today...nobody knew who owned or was responsible for one of the servers. My manager has a great way of finding out...he says "If I take my hammer and smash the server to pieces...who gets pissed." A moment of silence then someone speaks up..."Oh well then that would be Joe down the hall."

That my friends is how to get answers. Threaten to break things.

My Flask App all of a sudden started throwing 'Error 500 - Internal Server Error' pages at me for a new subpage I made.
I couldn't figure WTF was wrong because the method responsible for the page literally just returned the HTML-template.

After giving up yesterday night, I noticed this morning that I forgot the quotes around the HTML-file name...

So today I got an email about a job opportunity. The email was in romainian. This is the exact translation and bear in mind that in romanian as in every other language (I guess) alot of english phrases sound very cringy. This is the email:

We need a fearless hero for the IT realm!
X company, a thriving insurance community, is looking for a real hero of software development that can make code using the .NET mystical hammer that can only be lifted by a worthy, deserving and responsible warrior.

You can't fly? Can't shoot lasers? You are not wasting your night time by looking at the moon on tall blocks wearing a cape? Then you could be the hero we need.

Do not worry, the position does not imply superhuman strength :)) However, it requires intellectual strength and attention to detail. You can even use your powers from a comfortable chair in a welcoming team full of other heroes ready to help you. We won't leave you alone, after all even Batman has Robin :))

I have attached all the information you need. Only The Chosen One can open the document so you will know immediately if you are right. :))

If you want to be responsible with your strength, then I'm waiting for your updated English resume with all your heroic deeds in the past.

Remember, not all heroes wear capes!

... WHAT THE FUCK IS .NET MYSTICAL HAMMER??? AND WHO THE FUCK USES ":))" IN AN EMAIL??

>be my team
>developing a mobile app
>I'm responsible for developing a "RESTful" API to interface communications between the app and the database
>there's also an "admin" web application which the client themselves will use to manage some shit in the database
>I've developed the API, it works with the mobile app
>instead of just making it simply a front-end app that makes requests to the API like the mobile app does, the guy responsible for the admin app completely ignores my API and implements his own with a certain messy dollar symbol language and a certain bloated piece of server software, accessing the same database directly, and does some operations in his own special way that will break what I've implemented
>now data inserted via admin app is inaccessible to the server API, and I'm expected to "fix" my code so it's consistent with this guy's shit, but the only way to do it is introducing interdependency between the actual API and the admin app's back end

Fuck my life, now I'm the one responsible for the app being broken because no way the guy who's used to kludging unmaintainable shit together fast would ever fuck anything up

The one time a piece of software I was semi-responsible for maybe had been compromised. But I was student dev so I wasn't even brought into the meeting despite being the only person in the entire organization who knew how it worked. Gr8 politics, glad you hennies trust me. They came out and a good colleague of mine was brave enough to come over and ask if maybe I knew how this and that worked and I could clear up the confusion they spent 45 minutes on in 20 seconds 🙃

Recruiter: I have an open position for lead DevSecOps role.

Me: Tell me more

Recruiter: It’s an AI company , where the AI is making clinical medical decisions. It’s really cool. They need somebody to help them pass government audits and you’d be solely responsible for the systems security, AWS accounts, and also all of DevOps, which they’ve never heard of before but I told them they needed and they though it was cool.

Also, they use AWS but not sure what services inside AWS, they think it’s AWS storage and AWS servers or something like that .

Me: That’s a big hell no. 👎 Got any other positions though ?

Programming languages are much like art pencils - some are fit for certain tasks, some are for others, and just knowing how to wield one doesn't make you an artist, but rather it is the brain wielding the pencil that's responsible for the art.

COO overcommited features to our client so now we have to do overtime until June so that we can save his ass.

Its his fault, why the fuck are we responsible for his incompetence.

I fucking hate stupid accountants!

Yesterday we went to a customer to talk to the accountants because we want to remove one of their unused PC's in the office.

First, just the way they think (and talk if) they are the most important and it's absolutely critical everything works 100%. I see they are important but not 100 times more important than everybody else!

They called us their EDP-guys (EDV in German, that's the translation I found). That insulted me a bit. I'm rather called IT-guy, I don't know anything about the fucking EDP systems nor want I to. I'm there to make sure the hardware works. But whatever, fine, call me what you want.

Then they straight up threatened us, because their work is so important, they can't afford to have downtime in their systems. They don't really care, but the bosses of us both do and if we fuck up they (the bosses) will hold us responsible. There is a fucking update for your piece of shit software (datev)! I don't do the update, I'm just responsible that the update can be deployed on the hardware. I'm not responsible if this update fucks your system and frankly I don't care!

I could tell them all of this but they won't listen. They always talk in this patronising arrogant voice, because they are so important and we better don't fuck up the update.

I'm there to help. I don't want downtime for your systems. I want you to work with our systems the best you can.
But fuck you, I hope the server burns down!

Discovered yesterday that my boss does tests with production database... and I'm responsible for the fucking backups and he doesn't even care to let me now when so I can at least schedule one at slave. Come on... it's not that hard to let others know or test on your own machine...

I have a customer who seriously calls me, very upset, very bossy, telling me to let go of whatever I'm doing and take a look at this super urgent master bug that we probably are responsible for.

Nowadays I just giggle for myself and telling him I will take a look at it.

90% of the time it's caused by themselves or someone else...

May the people responsible for the decision to let Windows 10 wake up people's PCs from sleep mode in the middle of the night to install patches and then force-restart be tortured for eternity in hell. All of the hells. Of every religion. At the same time. While having to stare at a Windows ME bluescreen of death without the ability to blink or look away. For 65535 eternities. Followed by a buffer overflow.

When the new guy is responsible for a bug in production.

Just investigating a bug reported by QA. Spoke to the dev responsible for the code, and asked why they'd called a particular function. Their reply:

"Well the function name sounded right. I didn't check what it actually did"

I work in a team where I am the only person not belonging to the main company. We have been a year and 3 months working together and they still don't realise that I have very restricted access to many of the things related to the project. So every now and then, something breaks and we have a meeting where they all tell me how disappointed they are at me because I was responsible for that and then I try to show them how I could not possibly even access the information where it is stated that I was responsible for that thing. Or that that thing even existed.

And then, the move the conversation to why they won't pay for my ramping up. This is not ramping up, assholes, this is you allowing me to access the information I need to do my job as you want!

I really don't know what to do... Other than looking for another job

Applied for job. CV says I've been a web developer for over 6 years. Js included.

Recruiter doesn't read and discards me with b.s. excuse that I haven't developed with JS for more than 3 years.

I clarify that with polite email. Her boss send me an email to fill my portfolio on .docx file.

Wtf? I let it go.

Two days later they tell me I'm not responsible for doing their b.s. documentation.

what a great idea to do server upgrades on a friday evening...and i can do it alone...and am responsible that everything works as expected...what a great day today...and i hate every single second of this day yet.. :-/

damnit i'm a developer, not a sysadmin, just because i can do it doesnt mean that i'm supposed to do it..what about our admins? what get they paid for? rebooting the coffeemachine? fuckers already left the building

I am now the only experienced developer and the person responsible for the delivery of a project AFTER WE ARE ONE MONTH PAST THE DEADLINE! All because user wants to replace the old system with new system with all EXACT SAME FUCKING FEATURES!

The feeling when you realize some people on the project are writing legacy code from scratch. Apparently it seems they've never heard of any coding standards, they think clean code and style guidelines are for the weak and single responsibility means one single method is responsible for a bunch of unbelievably diverse things. They are like the Gumbys of the dev realm but it's my brain that hurts every time I have to deal with their code.

Today my boss told me to work more properly, because the massive feature I'm working is only halfway done.

Well thank you very much, obviously it's only halfway done yet. I'm responsible for the backend and the development for the frontend started today, by another guy who was working on another stuff until now. And I'm pretty sure we agreed that I will only do the backend...

Thanks for the uncalled critique. Great way to make me feel like my work is not appreciated. This motivated me very much to work the whole on the integration.

@trogus are you responsible for designing all these cool avatars?!? they are so simple and sleek and AWESOME how did you do it what do you use?

Me: *pulls down the quick settings drawer and taps Bluetooth*
phone: *forgets everything about having multiple CPU cores and threads - the process responsible for all user input and drawing the ui grinds to a halt*
me: *sighs* oh, fuck, not this shit again *sets phone down*
*several minutes pass*
*watchdog decides that the UI is stuck and kills it, forcing the phone to soft-reboot*
phone: *boots up after a minute of loading*
me: *checks if Bluetooth is on*
*Bluetooth still off*
me: *tries to tap Bluetooth again*
*the procedure repeats*

This happened yesterday during 1-2-1 meeting

My dear teamleader telling me.

"You're just a stupid consultant"

Well, this 'stupid consultant' has had enough of your bullshit and will look for future endeavors elsewhere.

You are free to consider your options and make the bad decisions, dear team 'leader'.

Cry at the sheer amount of work 'your' project really entails and I will revel in your failure

I'm done with this guy.

Team leaders should be ousted if they fail their team members and the projects they are responsible for.

Fuck Googles SafetyNet.
I wish for every developer who is responsible for this pile of shit to choke to death on a big fucking piece of chocolate.

SafetyNet is the most retarded piece of software that has ever been developed in the past decade. It does nothing but annoy everyone, randomly block people for no reason and being a gigantic pain in the ass. It has no purpose existing. The entire purpose of it simply does not make sense and is only used for marketing bullshit. The last thing I would trust my actually important shit with is a phone.

Fuck you, Google. Fuck you.

BEST DISCLAIMER NOTICE

* I'm not responsible for bricked devices, dead SD cards, thermonuclear war, or you getting fired because the alarm app failed (like it did for me...).
* YOU are choosing to make these modifications, and if you point the finger at me for messing up your device, I will laugh at you.
* Your warranty will be void if you tamper with any part of your device / software.

sometimes, editing bad code, makes me wanna meet the the person who wrote it. just to see the sick mind responsible for the piece of shit im looking at!

Can someone explain me...

... WHY GOOGLE PLAY SERVICES NEEDS ALL PERMISSIONS FOR WEBAUTHN(U2F)???

NEED MY CONTACTS, CALENDAR, BODY SENSORS, SMS AND SO ON! ALL FOR U2F???

I PROBABLY SHOULD BE GLAD THAT I DON'T NEED MY GOOGLE ACCOUNT FOR THAT?!?!

Using Firefox and testing WebAuthn instead of the typical dialog I get "Firefox has trouble communicating with Google Play Services" when I try to use that.

If someone knows the responsible people at google, tell them to FIX THAT SHIT.

Steps to becoming one with your code:
1.Get red lamps and make em trippy asf.
2.Syntax color the shit out of your editor.
3.Install activate-power-mode
4.Get high or tipsy
5.Listen to surround psytrance
6.Code

Congratulations you are now in a higher level of existence. You are one with your code and your will is root.

*Disclaimer: Marnsghol is not responsible for any: Injury, death, damage to personal or company property, losing job, getting arrested and/or efficiency problems in work environment. Discretion is advised*

Got an email today from a random person asking for help on using a thing I have in GitHub. Even though it's not at all a big deal, made me feel so proud :)

On the other hand, every day I work on software responsible for thousands of people a day (not a big deal, but still something that affects thousands per day) and I feel meh about that...

Brains are weird :)

This one is for @Fast-Nop

Both a rant and a joke/meme.

Its also funny because its true. Couple of teams (team responsible for orders and team responsible for accounting) are in seclusion in a meeting room right now cleaning up the web team's screw up.

We receive an email from Splunk when errors go above a certain threshold, and a particular service has been especially problematic this week (throwing hundreds of exceptions). Email response from the team mgr responsible for the service.

"We are working to address these errors. We don’t currently have a way to prevent a user who’s account is locked from logging into the service and performing work."

The exception? NullReferenceException: Object reference not set to an instance of an object.

The code? (paraphrasing)

var user = GetUser(request.Login);
if (user.CanPerformWork) ...

<facepalm>

I'm doing my best not to reply .."Really? No way? You do realize we can read code, right?"

When your company lays off an architect responsible for building a dozen very important components, and then everyone is left in a panic trying to figure out how to fulfill support requests / bug fixes in a timely manner 😑

There is always that one guy.. who doesn't give a fuck about testing and thinks he's not responsible for them...
Le Guy: lemme just push ma new code maan
Jenkins: Unit Tests failed - pls fix
Le Guy to the one who cares about testing: hey fuck uu, ur stupid tests are failing... fix them its ur problem.
*sigh*

Jesus fuckin Christ!!!!

This Iran situation is getting out of hand on the internet!! You have IRGC members publicly try to terrorize people through social media! I checked out some posts on insta, following their hashtags in their language, and then ended up in one weird account posting severed heads! Like, what the absolute fuck???

I know people who own social media platforms are not responsible, but fuck I am terrorized to my bones right now! How does the algo not stop this shit?

Taking charge of an existing project...

Me: "This certificate requires a password. Can you send it to me"
Other dev who was earlier responsible for the project : "Just use the default one"
Me: " And what's that?"
Other dev: "CHANGEIT"! All caps
Me: 😐

please , the guys responsible for developing devrant should implement Ctrl + Enter to post a rant. I am so lazy using my mouse at times.

why the fuck do these mother fuckers have to give information to the ones responsible for designing the fucking application on the approval fase so I have to redesign some areas and spend a lot of time doing shit I could do once...
and that's not new information... no... I could handle it... it's fucking things you know since your fucking birth!!! fuck you and your shit talk!!!

There are devs who are chill. Then there's me. Deadlines give me anxiety. Being responsible for the code I didn't write and being blamed for the bugs I inherited stress me out.

Sport Festival today

I'm in the IT course and responsible for injecting data into DBs.

I asked some 11-graders if they would pay for better values ;D

Headhunter: "For this new role you would be the first developer in the company responsible for both the back and frontend, you will also have to test your deliverables, give support to users and report to the..."

*CLICK*

Had to hang up on dat shit 🙉

Someone asked "What's a sad reality for devs?"

Let me add one to that cuz I'm too lazy to find the actual thread.

A sad reality of devs is to be dependent on the management's mercy for them to be in the team/company. Your years of work can be thrown out the window just like that when management feels like it and there is almost nothing devs can do about it.

This sprung to mind cuz I experienced that today. My client cut my dev team in half to "make up for the recent losses the company faced". Obviously my team wasn't responsible for it.

This shit sucks man.

In my current company (200+ employees) we have 3 guys who deals with everything related to service desk (format computers, fix network issues, help non-tech people...)

The same team is responsible for the AWS accounts and permissions, Jenkins, self hosted Gitlab... anyway, DevOps stuff.

Thing is: only one of them have enough DevOps background to handle the requests from the engineering team (~15 people). Also, he usually do anything "by hand" clicking trough the AWS interface on each account, never using tools like Infrastructure as Code to help (that's why I started to refer to his role only as Ops, because there's no Dev being done there).

Anyway... I asked my manager why that team is responsible for both jobs, despite the engineering guys having far more experience with those tools. He answered with a shamed smile, as he probably questioned the same to his manager:

- Because they are responsible for everything related to our Infrastructure.

Does it make sense for anyone? Am I missing something here? In what universe this kind of organization is a healthy choice?

If a company says that they have no hierarchical structure or they have a flat hierarchy consider that as a definite red flag.

What they basically mean is that Noone is responsible for anything and everyone is going to be passive aggressive towards you if you have any skill at all in fear of losing their *position* in others mind.

There is no growth in such a company.

iOS corner curves. I was thinking about how to make them on the web for a while now. This night, I saw a nightmare about a dog that drowned. In that dream, it was me who was responsible. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I knew exactly how to make those curves.

I _told_ you they will be mine, two hours ago. I made it. Thank you Shányushka the dog that never existed. Rest in peace.

A more interesting related fact is that this Tuesday I got fired and it was the first occasion that an event that impacted my career didn't have tenfold the impact on my faith in my own abilities. In fact, I didn't even really feel responsible at all. They were clearly looking for a senior with low self-esteem.

Now I just have to figure out how I'll feed myself for four more months before I graduate and get a full-time job anywhere around London.

In a gay bar. Pretty drunk.

It's funny how "I'm drunk and cannot be held responsible" doesn't seem to be terrifying

My reaction after analysing the code responsible for the latest outage...

The week started great *sigh*

If I want to set up a vpn tunnel in a network to securely transfer files between android devices connected to the network , what can i do ?
A kali os is responsible for destributing public, private keys.

Tried to use wireguard for that but the apk wont support file transfer.

Thanks

Okay so my ticket got rejected because the on screen texts are not in the correct case (upper/lower). Totally fair because nowhere in the spec are those texts defined. As a developer I am also responsible for what "makes sense" for the user.

I'm just gonna say this next time I ask for a raise.

Front-end hacking is pure dog shite.
Some banana fuckers changed a forms plugin for PukePress some odd years ago and now I am responsible, after installing 2 major releases, to make it behave and look the same as it did before.
I'd rather dangle in a noose than cleaning up their spaghettified CSS selectors and random jokeQuery code.

So I was excited about working on a proyect I recently was invited to work on, but when I finally got my hands on the code I felt this urge to scream "YOU FUCKER!!!" (the dev responsible for the code)

When you have to lock down #general in #slack because people cant be responsible.

Then get stuck making #bs-general and other #bs prefixed channels so that people know if they join them they will be annoyed.

Got some really responsible teammates in my University project.
We have split our tasks and everyone is working accordingly.

This seems like a dream!

It took me two full weeks to study this complex system (the system is a nice piece of work) and learn about graph theory to trace this bug reported by the client in order to find out that it was a data-entry issue. I had to trace x and y coordinates to debug this issue.

Although the result was a bit frustrating, it made feel capable and responsible. It was a good feeling in the end.

So a guy made us develop a website, an Android app and an iOS app prototype under contract for a really low amount. We had initially agreed as it would be a learning experience.

3 months later we are still doing bug fixes for end-to-end deployment. For some reason we are responsible for publishing and deploying the whole system. He hasn't paid us anything yet and has given a shitty LOR which has been taken off the net.

Something that I absolutely hate about the IT industry:

When a feature is deployed the chain is like this:

Dev -> Testers -> QA -> Product Manager -> End User

But when things break in production and management wants to yell at the staff... only the devs get the heat and no one else, as if they weren't responsible for anything at all.

Really fucking hate it.

Fuck my project manager. He wants to sacrifice code quality, test coverage and technical debt in favor of more features. In the future when everything takes longer or breaks guess who is responsible? Certainly not him.

So, I spent the last two days hunting down a bug about some of the static assets not getting versioned.
It turned out to be a mistake by some newbie missing a quote in html. The html parser responsible for versioning the assets broke once it ran into that bad html.

Somehow, I don’t feel satisfied. I guess I shouldn’t hope for big reasons for seemingly big problems.

A couple times a week my girlfriend tells me that she leaves work. She travels with a motorised vehicle for about 45 minutes. I am responsible of cooking food on those days. The food preparation takes around 7 minutes of cutting vegetables and the cooking takes around 20 minutes. the current time of reading the message is 17:17. She had send the message at 17:08. At what time should I start making food in order to be finished at the time she gets home?

I start to relate more and more to school math questions...

Maybe I should make an app for this or website to calculate automatically.

Today we were told that management decided that apart from software development we are also responsible for internal IT support, such as helping business with installing programs on their laptops. Yay!

My JS app can crash IE11. Totally reproducable.

Had a fun debugging session to find out how this is triggered. Happens inside a deeply recursive call in a library I'm using which redraws the DOM.

Found a hacky workaround to avoid that as I see no real solution. It's not like I'm responsible for fixing IE. These are the days where I'm happy I'm mainly a backend dev...

Holy shit windows update just jumped from 51% to 45%

I may be partly responsible for this taking legit two hours by not having an ssd but damn these take long

At a previous job I had, there was a bug in the payment code, we did not know anything was wrong until the customer support team began receiving some crazy emails stating that our company emptied their bank account. Then we investigated further and thousands of customers had their banks emptied. So the payment team went big hunting, found the problem to eliminate further chaos.

Unfortunately the person responsible for this huge screw up was not fired immediately, but did resign soon there after.

Another anectode from my apprenticeship:
Boss comes into the office, looks at my screen: „So Mr Possum, writing scripts again? Process some customer orders instead.“
My Screen: html in notepad++ (as I was also responsible for the company website)
Me: */ wtf man? */ Alright sir.

There was some erroneous calculation in the leaves taken for the month in her account certificate, even after repeated correction request from her end. This had happened twice.
She just stood up, shouted at the HR (who was responsible for this) and headed straight to the co-founder's cabin. After 4 hours of discussions, she came out. Whispered to me that she just quit, and went away. Never saw her again.

All day emails are flying with executives, managers and leads jerking each other off after a "successful" migration from old, weird ass in-house custom java build tool that took hours to build anything and required the dependencies to be downloaded manually, to mainstream tool that also takes hours to build anything aka. Gradle.

What the code monkeys responsible for this migration actually did, was write Gradle plugins that still call that old weird ass tool in the background.

"Be responsible for the commit you make" - One dev friend.

He told me that you could upload at any time (even on Friday at 5pm) if you are ready to stay late if the system gets broken.

Last saturday, the CEO forced us to update one of the services that we are dependent out without any tests... The people responsible for it very much advised against it but they still did it.

Now, nearly a week later. The literal core feature is still broken with no fix in sight and rolling back is not possible apparently.

!rant

For the past year I was more or less solely responsible for a project. With the beginning of the year 2020 that project is paused. I had vacation starting the 23.12.2019 so the project ended there for me. Since the 25. the project is alerting like 30 crashes a day. I didn't change a thing but the external consultant did. Now I sit here at home and drink relaxing tea while reading a book. It's nice to say that it is not my problem anymore :-)

Got selected for an internship and I was really happy. But I am the only one selected and the company is a startup and i am responsible for the entire fullstack development of their site with no technical senior...... I am so nervous and scared to make a mistake...

Anyone else feels forced into a position by your project leader to be responsible for another coworker's work?

I feel like it is a burden of an ship anchor. They expect me to explain when she does not do her job correctly or uses too much time on X task.

this may sound like bs, but it's mostly about posture. it's fine to be a bit slower than the rest, but being punctual, responsible, patient, engaged, those are things people notice and value. if you're gonna be the boss you're not gonna be doing minion tasks anyway, it makes sense to pick someone with soft skills and maturity

The senior developer on my team is leaving, and I'm dreading what's coming down the pipe. Basically everything he's responsible for now will land on me when he's gone. I guess now would be the time to reevaluate my salary.

So, here at this place ... last person to touch a project is the sole person responsible for it being a success or failure. Wtf?!?!?!
If a client sends me the wrong picture, and agrees that is the correct one, and then it goes to production. Later on to find that it was never correct to begin with ... guess who's fault that is?
Is everybody taking crazy pills?
Don't answer that, I already know the answer.

Life is good when you're responsible only for your task, code you write.

While i had souch a beautiful life, I could come to wrk, make coffe, magic and be happy. Sometimes it would be fast, sometimes slow. Sometimes I had to learn before implementing, sometimes I just needed to code it down. I had working hours. I had only TL and client to deal with.

If you dislike working with your collegues, imagine being responsible for their work and feel good.

Dear Managers; we do not appreciate how comfortable you are behind a facade of ignorance. Your inaction is directly responsible for the failures of your team; both technical and cultural. You are why we are unhappy, you are why we stop growing, you are why we do not care, you are why we do not innovate; and most important of all, you are why we leave.

In my previous job, we had in c# a class called static manager. This abomination was thousands of lines long, every member static. Eventually the dev responsible, did split it in to multiple files each thousands of lines using partial class. Worst part? It wasn't even legacy code yet.

"The site could really use some more UX if it's going to be responsible design"

Fuck whoever is responsible for the backup and restore features of ADB. Luckily I had a backup in a different format, but if it was up to ADB's shittyness I would've lost all my data.

Not strictly a dev-goal, but anyway:
Now that I am responsible for a few people in the company I work for, my goal is to find a balance between managing and dev, and to help them develop their skills, be productive, and enjoy their work.

The person responsible for making layouts in CSS/HTML got moved from our project and now our team had been forced to improvise by ourselves until a replacement is found.

Suddenly all those old, untouched bugs seem very appealing.

That moment you hear an alert tone play on your computer but you can’t remember which app or website is responsible for it and you keep looking but can’t seem to find it.

We were to integrate our mobile apps with our company's analytics/tracking platform. So we asked the team responsible for said platform for some docs, API and such.

What we get was a js file and an instruction to put it in <head> section of a website.

When you're the one that works over holiday weekends while the people responsible for fuckups and delays enjoy their time off.

This class adheres to the single responsibility principle: it is singularly responsible for the entire application.

our company just lost one stream of revenue that was responsible for 40+% of the companies income. I'm hopeful they can get it back, but I think I should start looking at job listings...

man, those hours.... some god, please kill the bastard responsible for this shit...

(
in the picture is like:

weight: beautician
occupation: "" --empty string
)

Our client has put me and some others through at least 10 hours of passive lectures on non-development server management, nothing hands-on included. I realized today that I may be responsible for replicating some of the management processes (while supervised), and I think I start tomorrow. I didn't take notes on any of these meetings because the level of detail was overwhelming. I suck at communicating on time--can I still tell my PM I have about 5% memory retention on these lectures or did I royally screw up?

When you are surfing on a website (a provider for mail-sending) and you suddenly get a HTTP 503.

I guess, I'll wait then.

From a junior developer, "who's responsible for making sure I understand the context of the feature when we're looking at the story? Are you going to drive that?"

Um no. YOU are responsible for understanding the information I've pointed you to on multiple occasions. I'm not your mother.

!!rant

Today I wanted to finish a feature in some Python code I. Working on instead I scope creeped myself a bunch times adding "other cool features" and refactoring working and readable code that didn't need refactoring. Oh and learning about random things on SO and finally giving up on making any more progress for the day and reading devrant.

ADHD Self:"Coding is love, coding is life. Plus I'm getting paid."

....

Responsible self: "Wait no, go home sleep, spend time with your wife"

Remembering self:" she's out with friends"

Responsible self: "ah, carry on, she's probably spending more money than you're making"

Today at a friends graduation party I met her father(retired aged). He asked me what I do and I told him I am in web development. He says, 'I can't remember the name of the site but it's for looking up recipes. I don't like it because it's not very easy to use. Is that your fault?' Implying that because I work in web I am responsible for all poorly designed websites.... Awesome!

Lol. Had an exam in college a few weeks ago which involved designing a website on expression web. The Dr responsible for the subject dropped my file and gave me a 0 as a grade and said : "well it's not my fault I lost your file." I laughed so hard XD. Still has a 0 though Lmao.

People responsible for closing threads on stackoverflow for "We don’t allow questions seeking recommendations for software libraries" should die and rot in hell forever.

So I was doing random changes to get the output. Got partially correct output. Got happy. But I don't know which change is responsible. Dafuq moment!

When your tongue slips and its suddenly "responsible web design"

That moment when the project I was supposed to be lead on is given to someone else. Then I find out that I am responsible for the content integration... Woohoooooooo! Should I leave a bunch of span and em tags in there? Maybe I should just do straight up copy and paste into the wysiwyg?

When I have to be responsible for shit that others do.

I don't understand why managers are not held responsible for the under estimated timeline of the project, the developer will suffer from the overtime and crunch of coding.

So, i started at this company about 4 months ago. So far i mostly worked in existing project and legacy code.

We started a new project for a pretty big client, and i'm the one who's responsible for setting the project up. The last two days i've been struggling with database issues. Finally got the site running locally about an hour ago.

And now i am running into troubles because i don't know how to set up a project yet since i only worked in existing projects.

Great. Can't say i'm not challenged here!

Last month my company said that there's a mediclaim policy to include your parents in it too, and it was a mere amount of money. So I added it to my policy. This month, two days back, I saw that the money has increased 10x and is now more than half the amount of my monthly salary. Like what the hell? Now when I want to unenroll from this, I contacted all the responsible people in the company and they said that it cannot be done. Once enrolled, you can't ever opt out unless you leave the company. :") FKN SCAM.

I know there are a lot of “devs” out there who only feel responsible for the ‘code’ - but you aren’t.

You’re responsible for the end product too.

When you help build a steaming pile of shit - it’s your fucking fault. It’s not the boss’s fault - it’s everyone who let it happen’s fault.

These hell-holes like Kaiser Permanente and Covered California - and nearly all the government portals and the banks... and almost everything I can think of - are way past unacceptable. You are hurting everyone.

If you are putting these pieces of trash into the word: you need to rethink your life. If there is a hell, you are going there.

Wake the fuck up.

You’re going to have to use these things when you are older. Your kids will have to use them. Your parents will have to use them.

Set an example. Stop making horrible things that don’t work and hurt people.

Today.

Start changing - today.

I manage the infrastructure of an application. Responsible for setup, maintenance and upgrades of all the associated servers, databases, filesystems and tuning. The business area is responsible for maintaining the content and structure of the app.

A couple of weeks ago, the business area started asking me for the system admin passwords in an attempt to integrate a remote service. The reason was because he didn't want to store his own credentials in Jenkins. Imagine the shock when they were told no.

Then a week ago, they asked for the password again so they could update a properties file. Again, the answer was no.

We sent them an email yesterday asking for their change management number so we could make the change to the properties file. They were absolutely shocked to find out that we hadn't already updated the file because they had already deployed their code changes to go with the properties file last Thursday. They submitted the request to us on Friday.

Getting real tired of people screwing up and pointing the finger back at me.

Some advice please: In our last sprint meeting my manager told the whole team that I broke something. What he didn't say was that he was also responsible for that. He generally has the habit of accusing others to cover up for his own faults. I don't care, I own up to my mistakes. Any witty but nice responses if he tries that again? I'd like to answer "Man, I don't even feel bad" but that would be too sarcastic.

So we pushed some quick fixes management required to the system before going home to sleep. We warned them that we don’t have much time to check and test them. Because ordinarily such fixes go fine, they insisted.

What do you know, while we slept some smartasses within users drained our system money through the new hole we did not notice.

Manager responsible for this just gone dark, never ever picked up his phone. Just disappeared.

We don’t do such fixes anymore 🤗

I get plenty of sleep and wake up to my manager talking about escalating tickets. I'm on support this week and my queue was empty yesterday, but there were several new "urgent" requests that never got assigned to me.

Wait, so I'm responsible to assigning tickets to myself now? Our support is so shitty now. Our good document got hacked to pieces and now I can't find anything, and the customer support people are constantly bitching if things aren't done right now for tickets I was assigned while I was asleep.

So I'm having a discussion with frontend devs now and I'm curious how you folks are doing this:

suppose you have a rest api at BE and some js framework in FE consuming it. Where do you format display info at: BE or FE? Info like human-readable timestamps [according to user's TZ], i18n, displaynames with appropr. lengths, etc..

Is this a job for FE or BE in your oppinions?

[imo it's view's job to be responsible for view-speciffic matters, while BE should provide all required info for FE to do it's formatting et al.]

Our keyboards/mouses are getting replaced (it's a matter of years) to Bluetooth ones. No spare batteries are given. From some of the offices the helpdesk where they give you new batteries are a few kilometers away, you have to call a shuttle...

Nobody communicated, but finally turned out that there is a floor responsible who has spare batteries. Of course, they are kept in a locked down cupboard, so each time that poor person has to be interrupted if someone has a drained battery.

Shall we stay with the gold old USB keyboards?

I was looking at a local job posting for a network engineer. Is it odd to see one of the duties listed as, "Responsible for administration of subpoenas and warrants." ??? Telecommunication company...

I HATE being a fullstack dev. I am responsible for everything. Its so exhausting because you cant focus on one thing.

Or its just me not being able to organize things....

Ideally, there would be 3 engineers and 2 sales people. The engineers would pair with the sales folks on calls to figure out what customers need and hire designers to design just want needs to be built. Everyone would be responsible, not over commit, not oversell, and figure out creative ways to make the company money and achieve technological superiority.

Manager asked me to create a spreadsheet showing tasks in a project with percentage complete to send to client.
Sounds easy, even though I prefer JIRA, I created spreadsheet with all tasks and asked each developer responsible to fill in percentage done.

But I did it completely wrong. I have to give estimate for how long it took for each task and make sure total complete is 70 percent and number of days add up to 10. WTF guess the estimate to match the total. And this is how you teach me project management.

Did I mention that all this is happening after most of the project is done?

Good to be back at work.

But kind of annoying when you check the server and it turns out that the 3rd Party API fell over and the guy responsible for it is still in holidays..

I've got scammed! A book of 12 cents and 18 pages. Still got ripped off, 13 cents too much! Successfully claimed a refund. * celebrating the refund with a 40 cents sigarette * I feel matured and responsible

So my company is preparing to do a deployment now... It's Friday 4pm...

And it's just yesterday that the build system was upgraded to a way newer version...

Luckily I'm not responsible of things go sideways 😅

I live in a college, sort of..
2 hours ago, the power was lost unexpectedly for less than a minute and then came back. Internet didnt tho.
They dont handle their own infrastructure in this college thingy, they hired a school to do it (it sounds fucked up, and it is a little fucked up).

Now little me is becoming impatient and offers my help. Gets rejected.

Additionally, i just started to have a fair sleeping schedule, and noe because the internet isnt working im about to fall alseep before lunch again.. i hate the people responsible for IT here..

I've been reading a lot about companies moving towards implementing a one-person policy. Like, one person is end-to-end responsible for the backend, one person for android app, one for iOS app and so on.

They also call it "lean teams. Less people, less discussions, less bullshit"

Or maybe the search algorithms have flagged me as a recent job seeker, idk.

This is seriously scary because essentially it's telling devs "We will underpay you and overwork you as we wish. And you can't leave us because other companies have implemented their one person policy so u ain't getting hired anywhere else."

I'm the one one in my team that uses git. In fact, they ask me to set a version control system to collaborate more efficiently... But then I'm the responsible to merge all the versions and spend a lot of time. It is burninge out...

When you start your internship with zero knowledge of web development but then becomes responsible of back end web development. #learningthehardway #mybossCCgonnakillme

Recently, our COO left the company and we got a new one. He is, for some reason, a freelancer which I find very odd as a C-level employee.

Anyway, fast forward 3 months and we the scrum master (or project manager), 60% of our dev team, one tech guy responsible for installations and our intern IT support department all got fired.

Now they gave me the decision for a raise, extra training (that they pay) but I have to find/figure out or an e-bike. Does anyone have some advice?

Step 1:
Promise customer something non-existent
Step 2:
Complain big time that engineering is not co-operating in getting the order out in time. (without which you won't get your end of year sales performance bonus)
Step 3:
Comment about the product being sub standard. Rant about how engineering "great" products must be the philosophy. Blah blah blah...
Offer to provide your fucking support to make the product better despite not being responsible for it.Be the greater person.
Step 4:
Deliver the product. Pocket your bonus. Make jokes about how bad the product is and how you won't sell it again to protect the company brand reputation.
Step 5:
Rinse and repeat.

Fucking assholes.

Sooo cobol eeeh...?
Old legacy system still running ehh?
Eyes closed and hope for the best from management eh?
And now everybody needs them all, while simple ppl dont get their money managers just say sorry ?

Twas a timebomb and it will still be. Its hugely pathetic of those responsible to disregard their old systems and dont test them for the worst case.

Why am i trying here to deliver proper working systems with long term update schedules when ppl in charge suck with their responsibilities?

That moment when a developer is responsible for network switch failure due to lightning 😱😱😱

FML. Tomorrow I have a demo, and I hardly have things in place. The demo depends on inputs from a lot of people. Why the fuck am I the only one responsible!

Guys,

I'm in kind of crappy situation. We are in dire needs of some improvements to our infrastructure. I've told that to the person who is responsible for it several times to get it improved. But because of his incompetency or laziness he just do some hacky solutions which gonna blow up on the the very next day and makes things worse.
I've raised my concern to my supervisor several times. He is also kinda slow in pushing things.
These infrastructure changes are for testing purposes so it doesn't have an immediate impact on their business. But it is kinda productivity killer for all.

I'm the reason for all I am bad at
I'm the reason for all the time wasted by me
I'm responsible for all the shit fuckery I've been doing
But I don't know how to get back at the correct path
I just don't know
Fuck me

If you feed the trolls it makes their nips hard. You don’t want to be responsible for hard troll nips!

nothing personal, but fuck you all who are responsible for these mobile game tutorials where i can't even disable sound until i finish it.

Who the fuck is responsible for the ui/ux of the youtube app its fucking annoyingly shit. Terrible!! Fucking start again you alphabet wankers.

happy rant 😄
just finished our group software project in uni (5 students, a way too complicated game) and just got the highest possible mark of all!!🤩🤩🤩
the project was focused on having a working, bug-free game, so yeah our game was UGLY AS FUCK😅 ... but 99% no bugs😎
best group in years😇
next chapter:
human-computer-interaction(is that the translation for Mensch-Computer-Interaktion?), we'll take our games and bitch about their usability and design😅
by the way i was responsible for the design/ux and did a kinda crap job because of too little time😐😅

They think I am responsible for every website and app out there. (Ex. Can you make Facebook do ~insert ridiculous request~?)

Umm... NO!