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Myself 1 week into programming
"I can build a website!!"
Myself 2 years later and multiple web and mobile apps launched
"I know nothing"5 -
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠙⠉⠙⠷⢻⣴⣤⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠄⠀⠠⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠺⣻⣢ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⠈⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠗⠆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠉⠀⠀⠉⠑⢢ ⠀⢀⠤⠤⢌⡮⣐⠤⠤⡤⠔⢹⠀⠀⠀⠴⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⡜⡐⠈⠉⠗⣌⠀⢠⠊⢀⠄⠈⠢⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠜ ⢃⢇⠀⠀⠀⠒⡓⡪⣈⣀⣀⠀⠑⠠⠉⠉⠉ ⠈⢊⢖⡄⡀⠀⠀⠁⢉⣒⣑⠊⠛⠒⠤⡰⡀ ⠀⠀⠁⠓⠫⢥⢲⡀⡈⠙⢿⣷⣆⠀⠀⡁⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠐⠋⠬⠎⠿⠿⠤⢐⠕⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠉
I turned myself into a rant Morty, I'm rant Rick!13 -
Fucked up an sql join once and accidentally deleted myself from the employee table in the prod database. So I kinda fired myself... Good thing we had backups. 😂2
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I had to install a program whose setup file size was 3GB and I already had that setup in my pendrive, but my pendrive was in the other room so instead of going there and bringing that pendrive, I re-downloaded the setup.
My other room is hardly 5m away12 -
My experience while learning C#:
>trying to print an HTML element of a website to console
>doesn't work
>why
>changes a few things in code
>runs code multiple times
>still doesn't work
>looks closely at code
>wait a second
>walks to wireless printer
>finds nearly 10 pieces of paper on the floor
>I hate myself5 -
I got two motivations to improve myself
1. To earn more
2. To distance myself from stupid people who don't know what they are doing13 -
A woodpecker was trying to crack Windows
After constantly trying for 5 minutes, it flew away and decided that it'll use Linux
4 -
"If I receive a email from myself, send an email to myself"
Now I should send an email to myself but I'm not enough brave
21 -
> be me
> install linux on encrypted drive
> takes 8 hours to fill the drive with fake data so theres no chance of data leakage
> save encryption password to phone
> phone doesnt actually save password
> realize you dont have access to pc anymore
> cry
> reinstall linux7 -
1. Buy a connected armwrist that tells you the time, how good your sleep is, your heartbeat and stuff like that
2. Manage to loose the cable that charges the device
3. Get mad
4. Finally decide to buy a new one after digging in your 50 m^2 flat in vain
5. Your stuff is coming in 12 years, I mean days. Have a lot of advertisement of this particular cable wherever you go for the next two weeks
6. The thing finally gets delivered. Let's not be stupid like before and put it in a logical place, like permanently plugged in the usb port above my computer tower.
7. Find the supposed lost cable at said place.3 -
My first job was at a web agency. Non tech background, trying to transition into tech through frontend. Month 1: graphic designer, month 2: CSS guy, month 3: UI guy, month 4: in the frontend team doing react, month 7: leading the team, also doing some rails backend, month 9: full stack, month 11: leading web team.
How? Everyone else in the dev team left at month 7 lol. Literally thrown into the middle of the rainforest, fighting bugs by myself. But became so good at debugging and learning on the spot. Left at month 12 for a better job.1 -
Wondering around some code and I found:
// The next few lines of code should be fairly self-explanatory
// ...
Well if it were so self-explanatory then why TF putting up a comment here!!
Git blame file
Oh sugar it was written by me...1 -
Just had to update a website i did for a client 4 years ago. I want to travel back in time and bitchslap myself. Horrible... Just horrible coding...3
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How i used to toggle a boolean:
foo ? false : true;
How i decided to toggle a boolean last night:
foo = !foo
I wondered why i only just thought of that.18 -
So many bad dev habits...
But the one that results in the biggest headaches afterwards?
Me, when given a problem and being asked an estimated time: 'This shouldn't be too hard, gimme X to do it', only to later find out it's way harder than i imagined.4 -
>be me
>drop out of uni studying civil engineering
>"self-taught" "web programmer"
>start freelancing in 2010
>Make money, feels good man
>clients keep me busy, feel important
>Code just for the fun of it
>be 2019. Married, code to make ends meet
>lose all interest
>mere sight of the ide makes me want to bash the screen
>have zero motivation
>never get any projects done
>become broke af
>look at old friends on fb. They are "Something".
>look at real software engineers and programmers with education
>realize I am an imposter
>start dropping all projects and studying theory
>become more broke
>start taking "motivation pills" to just start working again
>lose all motivation and pissed at all the real programmers and engineers for their success
>be me on May 20, 2019 at 2:56 AM
Yep, this is the end.29 -
Me every time I have to adjust the css:
*center that div*
*hit refresh*
Fuck, now that button is over there.
*adjust the padding and kajigger with the margin a little*
*hit refresh*
Ah, I'm an idiot. I forgot to set the display to inline-block.
*adjust the display*
*hit refresh*
WHY THE FUCK IS THE BACKGROUND RED NOW??!?!?!?10 -
I often times write code and think to myself "I don't have to comment this, it's obvious what is going on", only to find myself back at the same code, figuring out wtf it does...1
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Inner Me: Where the fuck is this bug coming from
> Set a breakpoint in every single place where the method I'm using is being called.
> Try calling the method before every function call
Inner Me: FUCKING DAMNIT! It's been hours now
Inner Me: No way it's the library I'm using.
Inner Me: That couldn't possibly be the problem
> Try running it again and delete some more shit
Inner Me: FUCK MEEEEEEEE
> Getting delirious
> Begin to look at some stupid memes.
> Come back to it.
> Have an Ah-ha moment
> Try running it again but rearrange the order of the method calls
> Still no luck
> try git stashing a bunch of my changes
> git stash apply them back
> erase the method call entirely
Inner Me: well that sort of worked, but now all my numbers are incomplete
Inner Me: FUCKING FINE!!! I'LL LOOK IN THE GODDAMN LIBRARY
Inner Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK a stupid integer casting was occuring to my floats!!!
Now Talking to my girlfriend.
Me: The problem was in the library I was using
Girlfriend: How are you going to fix it if it's in the library?
Me: ... I can, because I wrote the library...
Me: FUCK ME RIGHT?
Me: I guess moral of the story; sometimes the problems starts with ourselves
GF: Hahaha. Thats Deeep2 -
I just spent 3hours trying to make the simplest, barely 10lines python script work with no success.
I'm writing this rant from my bed where I gave up.
I love programming but moments like this I fear I'm not cut out for it and It hurts, the little self esteem I have left is on fire.10 -
public void NoRant()
{
I have a small hobby.. T-Shirts.. I make them for myself sometimes, when I'm bored.. so.. I thought to myself.. If I don't get a T-shirt from devRant.. I'll make one myself))) I found myself making several designs.. Here's one example:
}
29 -
Note to myself:
Went alone to a conference, without knowing someone and
have problems to start a conversation with complete stranger,
is a stupid idea.
Social anxiety HURRAY but at least the talks were nice.4 -
Fuck sake :(
So I just checked my bank to find out I'm in an extra £300 debt because my fucking letting agency took my rent AFTER I MOVED IT FOR £98 BECAUSE I COULDN'T AFFORD IT.
Why the fuck is the world throwing turd after steaming turd at me, first the streets, then family, then job, then debt, now a constant barrage of shit. Just feel like ending it now so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore, fuck the human race and the shithole upside down society they've made :'(5 -
I was gonna write some code, but Tomcat stopped by
I was gonna write for browser or Node but Tomcat stopped by
Now I’m covered in cat hair and I know why
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
I was gonna follow through but Tomcat stopped by
I was gonna study algorithms too but Tomcat stopped by
Now I’m DevRanting this song and I know why
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
‘Cuz Tomcat stopped by
11 -
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASSIGNING PROD BUGS WHEN I'M ON A FUCKING VACATION ?!?
Oh wait I wrote that code...
Welp6 -
Ok... I have been desperately trying to control myself from pointing it out to my pm that it's pronounced as "GIT" not "JIT". If he says that one more time, I might not be able to control myself...6
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Fuckbug client has no brain but worse is fuckbug has not one bit of understanding.
I am a fucking developer not a fucking DESIGNER.
You are supposed to give me your fucking information. Information as in text and photos and documents that I can use with minimal modification for your FUCKING website.
It was fucking stupid of me to help you out with non-dev work in the first place. My fucking stupidest mistake of 2017.
Just for the fucking slider, this whole goddamn project is dragging for the whole 2017.
I even helped you out with taking the fucking product photo at your office with my camera so we can have decent images to use.
I stupidly helped you out with doing photoshop of those images with your product labels and stuffs.
But in the end, you fucking dare give me 1 properly designed image to use in slider. Then ask me to change the rest of sliders with similar design like that one. If you have that image why the fuck cannot you do the fucking rest by yourself and come and fucking ask me.
I fucking hate you.5 -
I am mad at myself. Angry at myself. Frustrated at myself.
For clinging onto this nothingness.
Being a coward to let things go.
Unable to give up.
It's all so tiring.
So so tiring.
For a nobody, there is nothing wrong with leaving this world as I came.8 -
Google just emailed me to tell me that I should, "take action against suspicious apps that can access your data"... but the app in question was a Google Drive API token I made for a thing I am personally developing .-.6
-
Fuck group projects/labs. I hate them. I typically find myself explaining basic shit that was covered in previous lectures, or just doing all the work myself because they could care less.4
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Find out this week if the internship I've been doing will be turned in to a permanent position... Tanking myself! Doing some work this weekend to make sure I've done the best I can do prove myself.2
-
Dragon on falcon 9. First re-use of a commercial orbit-class space-craft!
Launched successfully
*giggles*
5 -
!rant Scheduled Slack message from myself after hours to myself during work hours:
“Hey idiot,
The thing you need to do is [solution]. Trust me.
Sincerely,
Past you
PS: Drink some gd water.”
*followed by panicked double-checking I’d actually sent it to myself and not a coworker*2 -
I worked on a browser game for two years and I did not use any version control system. This was 13 years ago. Can't imagine myself how I managed this at all without killing myself immediately.4
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So today I was booked as speaker for an event and I thought it was tomorrow. When they called me to ask me where I am it was too late since I need three hours to to arrive there. The stupidest mistake I made for decades.1
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The feeling when someone ++ one of your old rants/comments you have totally forgotten about so you read it and start laughing because let's be honest you must be like the funniest person ever?!1
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Spent the whole damn weekend trying to migrate from old pc xampp to clone of the vps by pushing pulling from github... It's a nightmare. Finally I gave up, installed xampp on the new pc as well, pulled all the garbage there and of course it didn't worked, same errors... The solution... some files were not pushed to github.. I really think about to move to some 3rd world country, and become tomato farmer instead.2
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My younger brother is a speedcuber and I got this for my birthday.
The albino cube.
Useless, like myself.
Beautiful, like myself.
And btw it’s no shabby dollar-store piece of crap, it’s a real magnetic competition-grade cube.
5 -
- 5 days until customer integration test. I finished my work for the test a week ago so I am relaxed. 10 days of estimated work for other team, 1 dev scheduled for this task.
I reminded of the deadline, which seemed not realistic anymore; "Don't be so pessimistic" they said, "Everything is fine", "We'll get it done".
- 2 days to go and half of the system doesn't work, the external test system rejects all data (nobody had time to read the specs -> let's call it 'assumption based development' (ABD))
I reminded of the deadline, and that I would like to have an internal test with all components beforehand; "Don't be so pessimistic" they said, "Everything is fine", "Just some minor issues".
- 1 day to go and dev from other team called in sick... (and I can really empathize this decision); "Someone else can jump in and finish the work" they said.
- An hour later the test was cancelled not even 24 hours before it should take place. We could have rescheduled the test more than a week ago, that wouldn't have been so disgusting and even save our customer some hours of preparation effort.
I hate myself when I was right from the start but wouldn't enforce my position because I'm too kind sometimes. -
Habit I'm trying to fix?
Doing it all myself. I've been timeboxing my problems and forcing myself to ask instead of forcing myself to just figure it out myself. Communication isn't my strong point.2 -
I keep spreading myself too thin. I pick up too many projects and find myself not working as much as I want on my main projects. I've been getting better about realizing this, and I caught myself after less than a month. But shit. I need to stop it.
-
I took a break, reevaluated a lot, and I am now back with none of the pressure I put on myself over the years and I’m actually enjoying myself again4
-
Sequel or S Q L?
I find myself dipping between the two recently depending on who I'm talking to. It's driving my insane and I can't stop myself -_-18 -
How do you guys deal with work that doesnt really care about what you do?
I mean everyday i come to work i make my own schedule and think of things to do, then do them and at the end of the day noone really cares.
I’ve created a huge inhouse analysis tool and that was my job for a long while untill the project was mostly done. Now it feels like i just go to work to sit there for the hours and collect the paycheck, i watch youtube for half of the day and noone cares. Noone really knows what i do there. I feel like shit because i need to fight with myself everyday that i didnt finish something, but noone besides me really even knows of what i do though. I work alone and I think thats a big part of it. What should I do?3 -
So, I'm working on some stuff, Bitcoin Cash related. And you see, I feel I'm actually doing so much progress, and that's good. The thing is that I always forget to commit and I end up commiting and pushing like 5 or more changes on 5 or more files that are literally not related.
I feel stupid2 -
Just arrived for an interview for my very first coding job. Everyone wish me luck! I'm gonna fuck up their shit for real. 😂🤣🤣5
-
Again found myself before deadline. My excuse? I'm more productive during the deadline rush :D
How everyone else sees it: you fucked up
What do I say to myself: never again!!!
```
sleep(until_next_deadline);
goto begining_of_this_post;
``` -
So i was working on an android app that communicate with restfull web service. I setup everything , started the web service api at localhost and launched the app on genymotion (virtual machine android) .Nothing seems to work . I checked the code , debugged some stuff and it turns out i couldn't communicate with the api server. I tested the api on my browser and nothing is wrong ,I tried to test on the phone vm browser and voila 404 not found . How the hell it's working on my windows and not on the vm (with localhost url :/ ) .I kept debugging for more then 3 hours with no solution to be found .
The moment I realised wtf I'm doing and how stupid I was => shut down my laptop went to coffee shop and bought a lifeless dark espresso .
In case you didn't understand what the issue is, I was running the api on my windows localhost and testing it with same url on my android vm (I should've changed localhost with my machine IP )1 -
Went to make progress on a small side project I started and ended up just building a brand new animation system for all my other projects...
This is why I never finish anything.. -
Lesson learned: never fuck up with the python version that comes with a distro. I spent the whole day re-installing Linux Mint on a new partition and transferring home folder to the new partition. 😣😣😣
I'm an idiot 😥4 -
Why the hell am I so talkative!!!!!
I think it's better I work alone so that I be less of an annoy for others...
Side-effects of me working at day time..
Missing working at night time all alone..3 -
I, myself, in many ways.
Most of all, teaching myself patience and coping with stress in a healthy way helped.4 -
Tbh Myself ... Ive always admired people who do awesome things and for quite a time I thought if myself as incapable to do something like that, and whenever I tried I either failed or just dropped the project, so I had to learn to believe in myself and to use dissapointments as a building platform and dont let em discourage me.2
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That moment when you forget you're on the live environment and you git pull --rebase from an old repo because you thought you were on a local box and you set the wrong url for the git project.
-
I (still am though) taught myself JavaScript online, and taught myself the Linux terminal with no help.2
-
Whenever I search Anaconda, Nicki Minaj's explicit video songs pops in the 3rd result... I don't know why I feel weird about it... Feel like I have to explain myself to myself...?!?2
-
Hello sysadmins, silly question but can I consider Python as a serious alternative to powershell/bash? I have always hidden myself from learning bash considering myself not that kind of guy hacking around in Linux. Thanks in advance4
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A developer's true soul mate is a designer. It's like yin and yang. They will make a perfect couple atleast in professional sense.
If I'm gonna marry, she's gonna be a UI / UX designer.7 -
Few months ago: Need a new Macbook, I'll just buy the cheap 128GB and replace the ssd myself...
I hate myself as much as I hate Apple now1 -
What skills? 😂 Jokes aside, a few situations cause me to question myself, one is reading rants on devRant.
I always start questioning myself when I see others code, it inspires me but sometimes also makes me question my ability.
Last thing that often makes me question myself is reviewing all these requirements for jobs. -
Programming has taught me that if I want to create something digital, I can do it myself or teach myself or work on it with others.
-
This morning I came across Shakespeare, I've never had such a nerdy laugh in years!
The follwoing is supposed to print "Hello World"
.
Ajax,
Puck,
Act I:
Scene I:
[Enter Ajax and Puck]
Ajax:You fat fat fat cat!
Puck:You is the sum of myself and the square of myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of thyself and twice twice myself and the sum of a cat and a fat cat!
Ajax:You is the sum of a fat fat cat and thyself and the quotient between myself and thyself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of a fat cat and a cat!
Puck:You is the difference between thyself and myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of the sum of thyself and myself and a fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of myself and thyself!Speak thy mind!
Ajax:You fat fat fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of the difference between myself and thyself and a fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!
Puck:Speak thy mind!
Ajax:You is the sum of a fat cat and a cat!
Puck:You is the sum of thyself and myself!Speak thy mind!You is the difference between thyself and twice myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of thyself and a fat fat fat pig!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of a cat and a fat fat fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!
[Exeunt]
Source: https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/... -
Well, wasn't my mom, but once, i was in the house of the nanny of a girl i used to date..
I've told her that Im a developer and The nanny already got it like : "ok you know about cumputer and stuff related"..
So..the internet connection was shitty as fuck
She asked me to repair the internet,
I told her I didn´t know anything about network, but.. she insisted.
I said that she better call their internet company and they would explain what is the situation there..
She told me that It was unnecesary, and insisted again..
(We wera talking in the bedroom)
So i left the bedroom, then I went to fucking internet modem, unplug the power cable, then plugin it again..
The internet was still shitty, BUT, she had a placebo effect about the speed.. she was so happy with me and she started saying that I was smart.. (I wanted to kill myself)
we stop dating ..1 -
Where the fuck do I take myself?
I love programming, I like cricket in sports as hell, I love blogging writing, love to do sketching have very much interest in photography.
Damit I'm hatting myself7 -
what have i got myself into???? full stack development for my internship without previous and complete knowledge of it... i guess i have 2 months to do intensive training and practice to prepare myself AAAAaaaaaAaaa4
-
How do you keep a private life? I'm trying to focus on improving myself and here, Facebook(friends...) etc comes by -_- I'm really mad at myself.9
-
unexperienced me just wanted to mess around with vba updating a docvariable in word, now i am fiddling around how to export several values to an external excel-sheet.
that escalated quickly -
Anyone have books or blogs about microservices and APIs they like?
I spent so much time focusing on front end frameworks and technologies and now I'm having to teach myself RESTful API structures and micro service stuff. I should have spent more time on this earlier on...6 -
Beating myself up at the moment. Didn’t think about how to live update something/update the info on the page dynamically. Put a cape on me because I’m feeling like a super failure right now.
-
O cursed lord of all code that is inhumanely bad, please grant me the willpower to be able to commit the sin of tolerating and writing really badly designed code. for the deadline is near and my teammates are nitwits with no moral considerations for the degenerate crap they poop out in the name of code.
-
Really starting to reconsider being a game developer, I can never seem to get anything past engine prototyping. So many idea's, so many concepts, I have the ability to build it but I can't get past the first hurdle and it's really bringing me down...
Don't even have any dev friends to help me out...4 -
Site runs beautifully on desktop. Runs shitty on mobile. Working and reworking these damn lightboxes to hold videos in them. Sigh. You’d think I’d learn by now to check things on an actual mobile device and not an emulator (i know. This is my fault). Welp. There goes my vacation3
-
Sometimes I find myself convincing myself that I should start working on that old app they asked me to maintain at my company.
Today I am not able to convince myself. Help?!1 -
I hate it when I catch myself writing JavaScript in PHP style.
And catch myself writing PHP in JavaScript style.2 -
A little bit proud of myself to write this by myself but I'm pretty sure it's already done.
https://gist.github.com/dextel2/... -
Just asked a question that I considered myself as too "Too broad" but I don't know where to start myself.
Wish me luck. -
!dev
How did you guys deal with graduation year stress? Seriously, how? Asking for myself because I'm not gonna risk eating pills or killing myself over sleep deprivation.4 -
I start my summer class tomorrow; Applied Probability and Statistics. I took a look inside the textbook for the class, and now I want to kill myself. Oh well, at least it's not Calculus 2.5
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There are five goofus mfs in my head that tell me terrible, silly solutions, and there's only 1 that is like "yeah maybe you should do that but I'm too lazy to think about it sorry 💁♂️". And then when I get to coding I'll have to delete like a whole block bc the other guys lead me off my pre-drawn plan wtf.
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