toxic workplace; leaving

I haven't wanted to write this rant. I haven't even wanted to talk to anyone (save my gf, ofc). I've just been silently fuming.

I wrote a much longer rant going into far too much detail, but none of that is relevant, so I deleted it and wrote this shorter (believe it or not) version instead. And then added in more details because details.

------

On Tuesday, as every Tuesday, I had a conference call with the rest of the company. For various, mostly stupid reasons, the boss yelled at and insulted me for twenty minutes straight in front of everyone, telling me how i'm disorganized, forgetful, how can't manage my time, can't manage myself let alone others, how I don't have my priorities straight, etc. He told the sales team to get off the call, and then proceeded to yell and chew at me for another twenty minutes in front of the frontend contractor about basically the same things. The call was 53 minutes, and he spent 40 minutes of it telling me how terrible I've been. No exaggeration, no spin. The issues? I didn't respond to an email (it got lost in my ever-filling inbox), and I didn't push a very minor update last week (untested and straight to prod, ofc). (Side note: he's yelled at me for ~15 minutes before for being horribly disorganized and unable to keep up on Trello -- because I had a single card in the wrong column. One card, out of 60+ over two boards. Never mind that most have time estimates, project tags, details, linked to cards on his boards, columns for project/qa/released, labels for deferred, released to / rejected from qa, finished, in production, are ordered by priority, .... Yep. I'm totes disorganized.)

Anyway, I spent most of conference call writing "Go fuck yourself," "Choke on a cat and die asshole," "Shit code, low pay, and broken promises. what a prize position," etc. or flipping him off under the camera on our conference-turn-video-call (switched due to connection issues, because ofc video is more stable than audio-only in his mind).

I'm just.
so, so done.

I did nothing the rest of the day on Tuesday, and basically just played games on Wednesday. I did one small ticket -- a cert replacement since that was to expire the next day -- but the rest was just playing CrossCode. (fun game, fyi; totally recommend.)

Today? It's 3:30pm and I can't be bothered to do anything. I have an "urgent" project to finish by Monday, literally "to give [random third party sales guy] a small win". Total actual wording. I was to drop all other tasks (even the expiring cert lol) and give this guy his small win. fucking whatever. But the project deals with decent code -- it's a minor extension to the first project I did for the company (see my much earlier rants), back when I was actually applying myself and learning something (everything) new, enjoying myself, and architecting+writing my own code. So I might actually do the project, but It's been two days and I haven't even opened single file yet.

But yeah. This place is total and complete shit. Dealing with the asshole reminds me of dealing with my parents while growing up, and that's a subject I don't want to broach -- far too many toxic memories.

So, I'm quitting as soon as I find something new.
and with luck, this will be before assface hires my replacement-to-be, and who will hopefully quit as soon as s/he sees the abysmal codebase. With even more luck, the asshole king himself will get to watch his company die due to horrible mismanagement. (though ofc he'll never attribute it to himself. whatever.)

I just never want to see or think about him again.
(nor this fetid landfill of a codebase. bleh.)

With luck, this will be one of my last rants about this toxic waste dump and its king of the pile.
Fourty fucking minutes, what the fuck.

Da Fuck!?!
Yesterday I found some abnormal activity on my server, someone was trying to brute force my ssh as root since two days! Started raging and installed fail2ban (which automatically bans an IP if it fails to log X times and eventually sends me an email). Woke up this morning to find that a fucking Chinese guy/malware spent the whole night trying to brute Force me!
Fucking cunt! Don't you have any better to do!!
My key is a 32 characters long encrypted key, with the ban he can try 3 passwords /2 hours, good luck brute forcing it you bitch!

Fuck the memes.

Fuck the framework battles.

Fuck the language battles.

Fuck the titles.

Anybody who has been in this field long enough knows that it doesn't matter if your linus fucking torvalds, there is no human who has lived or ever will live that simultaneously understands, knows, and remembers how to implement, in multiple languages, the following:

- jest mocks for complex React components (partial mocks, full mocks, no mocks at all!)
- token cancellation for asynchronous Tasks in C#
- fullstack CRUD, REST, and websocket communication (throw in gRPC for bonus points)
- database query optimization, seeding, and design
- nginx routing, https redirection
- build automation with full test coverage and environment consideration
- docker container versioning, restoration, and cleanup
- internationalization on both the front AND backends
- secret storage, security audits
- package management, maintenence, and deprecation reviews
- integrating with dozens of APIs
- fucking how to center a div

and that's a _comically_ incomplete list; barely scratches the surface of the full range of what a dev can encounter in a given day of writing software

have many of us probably done one or even all of these at different times? surely.

but does that mean we are supposed to draw that up at a moment's notice some cookie-cutter solution like a fucking robot and spit out an answer on a fax sheet?

recruiters, if you read this site (perhaps only the good ones do anyway so its wasted oxygen), just know that whoever you hire its literally the luck of the draw of how well they perform during the interview. sure, perhaps some perform better, but you can never know how good someone is until they literally start working at your org, so... have fun with that.

Oh and I almost forgot, again for you recruiters, on top of that list which you probably won't ever understand for the entirety of your lives, you can also add writing documentation, backup scripts, and orchestrating / administrating fucking JIRA or actually any somewhat technical dashboard like a CMS or website, because once again, the devs are the only truly competent ones - and i don't even mean in a technical sense, i mean in a HUMAN sense of GETTING SHIT DONE IN GENERAL.

There's literally 2 types of people in the world: those who sit around drawing flow charts and talking on the phone all day, and those WHO LITERALLY FUCKING BUILD THE WORLD

why don't i just run the whole fucking company at this point? you guys are "celebrating" that you made literally $5 dollars from a single customer and i'm just sitting here coding 12 hours a day like all is fine and well

i'm so ANGRY its always the same no matter where i go, non-technical people have just no clue, even when you implore them how long things take, they just nod and smile and say "we'll do it the MVP way". sure, fine, you can do that like 2 or 3 times, but not for 6 fucking months until you have a stack of "MVPs" that come toppling down like the garbage they are.

How do expect to keep the "momentum" of your customers and sales (I hope you can hear the hatred of each of these market words as I type them) if the entire system is glued together with ducktape because YOU wanted to expedite the feature by doing it the EASY way instead of the RIGHT way. god, just forget it, nobody is going to listen anyway, its like the 5th time a row in my life

we NEED tests!
we NEED to know our code coverage!
we NEED to design our system to handle large amounts of traffic!
we NEED detailed logging!
we NEED to start building an exception database!

BILBO BAGGINS! I'm not trying to hurt you! I'm trying to help you!

Don't really know what this rant was, I'm just raging and all over the place at the universe. I'm going to bed.

So, I just got up, opened my sister's laptop to work (she gave it to me while I was in this small trip) and I see this. She was like "if you break it, I'm gonna kill you" and I said "oh no! What am I gonna do? Hammer it or something?" Fuck my luck, seriously

*sees that the high voltage generator kit got delivered today*
Cool, let's build this thing and integrate it into my old bugzapper! Mosquitos beware 😈

*starts building the kit, all is going very well*
Oh wow, isn't it Monday? But it's taking only 15 minutes of soldering and everything goes super smooth.. what divine power is giving me such good luck?

Alright, last thing, the transformer and then this circuit is done!!!

*solders in the transformer without realizing that the wires are coated, and the solder isn't protruding through*
Fuck. Time to desolder this shit and blast the wires with my lighter to flash that coating right off!

*engages solder pump and solder goes off extremely easily, because it only adhered to the pad*
*takes off transformer*
Me: "Nnngh..!!! Get off you piece of junk!!!"
Transformer: "Hmph!! I will stay in here no matter what!"
Me: "Get the fuck off already!!! 😡"
Transformer: *leads break off* "Alright, but these leads stay here!!!"
Me: "MotherFUCKER!!!"

Yep, it's Monday after all.

Designer: Need to file a bug, I'm not getting an option to login with FaceID

Me: Oh weird bug. Is it setup on the phone you are testing with?

Designer: yes, use it in all other apps

Me: Did you get an error during onboarding on the FaceID screen?

Designer: nope no error

Me: ..... hhhmm, can you show me your settings?

Me: ... eh, says you have FaceID disabled for this app ... did you click "No" to FaceID during onboarding?

Designer: Yes, to test edge cases

Me: ................ ok ........ if you setup the app and told it to not allow FaceID to login ......... you won't get the ability to use FaceID to login .......... like .... by design .... on purpose ...... cause .... you told it to do that

Designer: No no, it needs to have a setting on the login screen to allow me to turn that back on incase I forget my passcode

Me: the fuck it does. Yeah we can't have anything on the login page that says, without authorization, change my settings

*Deep breath*

Me: Remember we had this conversation previously, where you didn't want the user to create a passcode during onboarding as it was too much friction, and wanted to do FaceID only. With your backup plan being to allow the user to create a NEW passcode on the login screen if FaceID failed .... remember that discussion we had about security? ... and how its important? ... and that we like having any? Ok so its the same reason as that, just with a different setting this time

Designer: ... hhmm i'm not sure I like this

Me: ... tough luck then, not happening

Me: oh and btw, remember we had that other talk about reproduction steps for bugs? Like when the app crashed and you told me it was because its in light mode, and nothing else at all? So disabling FaceID, is very relevant info to the problem of "I can't login with FaceID", please tell me these things first

Never have I been so furious whilst at work as yesterday, I am still super pissed about going back today but knowing it's only for another few weeks makes it baerable.

I have been the lead developer on a project for the last 3~ months and our CTO is the product owner. So every now and then he decides to just work on a feature he is interested in- fair enough I guess. But everything I have to go and clean up his horrendous code. Everything he writes is an absolute joke, it's like he is constantly in Hackathon mode "let's just copy and paste some code here, hardcoded shit there and forgot about separation of code- it all goes in 1 file".

So yesterday he added a application to the project and instead of reusing a shared data access layer he added an entirely new ORM, which is near identical to the existing ORM in use, for this one application.

Being anal about these things, the first thing I did was delete his shit and simply reference the shared library then refactor a little code to make it compatible.

WELL!! I certainly hit a nerve, he went crazy spamming messages on Slack demanding I revert as it broke ONE SINGLE QUERY that he hadn't checked in (he does 1 huge commit for 10 of everyone else's). I stuck to my principals and explained both ORM's are similar and that we only needed one, the second would cause a fragmented codebase for no benefit whatsoever.

The lead Dev was then forced to come and convince me to revert, again I refused and called out the shit quality of their code. The battle raged on via the public slack group and I could hear colleagues enjoying the heated debate, new users even started joining the group just to get in on mine and the cto's difference of opinion.

I even offered to fix his code for him if he were to commit it, obviously that was not taken well ;).

Once I finally got a luck at the cluster fuck of shit he had written it took me around 5 minutes to fix and I ever improved performance. Regardless he was having none of it. Still the demands to revert continued.

I left the office steaming after long discussions with the lead Dev caught in the middle.

Fortunately my day was salvages with a positive technical discussion that evening at a company with whome I had a job offer from.

I really hate burning bridges and have never left a company under bad terms but this dictator is making me look forward to breaking the news today I will be gone in 4 weeks.

Senior manager calls me at 3pm today. I’ve known about this issue since last Friday, one of her pions told me to hold off until Thursday when he’s back in the office and that I could prioritise other tasks.

I have another task with a deadline of the 21st with the potential for fines if it’s not done.

Snr manager: “I’m calling to see how this is going”
Me: “cool, it’s not, bigger problems in the world”
Snr manager: “waah, this has to be done Monday or we face the potential of a court case, fines, this is the biggest problem in the world”
Me: “I’ve known about this issue for a week, have been told not to worry too much and nobody has mentioned the impact or timeline you’ve just given me.”
Snr manager: “so can it be done for monday”
Me: “no chance”
Snr manager: “why not?”
Me: “because it’s 3pm Friday and I have 1 hour of Work left, good luck”

My manager was in the room, he got an arsey call soon after. I don’t really care how that one went but he’s a good guy so I’m sure it was fine.

I also had the joy of asking: so give me an idea of the potential fine... to which they wouldn’t give me an answer.

I need this to weigh up which of the potentially finable tasks takes priority.

The other team that had trouble told me all the dates, gave me over a months notice and the scale of the problem.

If you want someone to help: be polite, give them as much warning as you have and be absolutely honest.

The job’s done cause I’m a fucking legend. But they’re not gonna find out until 5pm Monday. That’s the dickhead tax, they get the dickhead tax for being dickheads.

I’m gonna spend Monday working from home, incommunicado. Fuck incompetent arseholes.

Enjoy your weekend everyone, I know I will mine.

FUCK VISUAL STUDIO ANBD EVERYTHING IT FUCKING STANDS FOR. PIECE OF SHIT IDE CANT HANDLE MORE THAN THREE FUCKING WINDOWS AT A FUCKING TIME WHY CANT A BILLION DOLLAR MOTHERFUCKING COMPANY MAKE COMPETENT SOFTWARE FOR ONCE? WHY IS MICROSOFT SO FUCKING AWFUL IN EVERYTHING IT DOES? WHY THE FUCK IS THERE NO AUTOMATIC VERSIONING LIKE EVERY CIVILIZED BASIC FUCKING IDE THAT EVER EXISTS? WHY DO I HAVE TO FUCKING MANUALLY VERSION MY FUCKING FILES? WHY THE FUCKING FUCK IS VISUAL STUDIO FUCKING GOING TO A FILE I USED 300 YEARS AGO WHEN I DEBUG AN APPLICATION? MOST USELESS, UNINTUITIVE PIECE OF SHIT SOFTWARE IVE EVER USED. IF YOU ARENT USING SOME GODDAMN SERVER SOLUTION TO KEEP TRACK WITH YOUR PROJECT VERSIONS, GOOD EVER FUCKING LUCK RECOVERING LOST CODE BECAUSE FUCKING MICROSOFT CANT DO WHAT FUCKING INTELLIJ DID 5 MILLION FUCKING YEARS AGO

I'm freaking the fuck out.
After months of learning from bootcamp and on my own, after a month of no resumes replied to, after almost giving up I finally got a job opportunity in front-end web development.
The thing is, I have to pass their online test to verify my JavaScript-fu.
3 hours.
4 tasks.
And I feel like garbage who can't understand even the most basic algorithms.
By the power of Grayskull, I don't think I have the power...
Wish me luck.

Fuck today.

Today I was supposed to go into work and set up a dozen or so units for beta testing (its been a year and a half coming)..

Got up nice and early to get a head start on things. Stubbed (and broke) my motherfucking toe, then spilled my cereal milk on my laptop.. subsequently spend the following 2 hours tearing down and cleaning my poor little lappy. Get her all put back together, starting to feel a little better about the day. Push the power button, and fucking nothing but a tiny little fan noise for half a damn second.

With this luck I don't even want to move, lest a magic falling anvil decides to adorn my head..

The story of my webshop with this fuckin' asshole continues! I decided to stop with the webshop as my partner didn't do anything, so I handed over my shares to my business partner. This was done formally at the notary. Immediately after, we agreed that I would hand over everything that same week. 1 day later I cannot access any accounts. He said that a hand over was not necessary and that he took appropriate measures. Now, 4 months later, I got a letter from a collection agency telling me to hand over the tradename. Uhm what? Tradename? I don't own it so I replied that there's nothing to hand over. A day later again a letter that he will sue me if I don't hand over the tradename. Mr. Prick Lawyer, I understand that you mean the DOMAINname, but why the fuck do you keep referring to the tradename?! You too stupid to understand the difference? So, to get rid of this crap I made an offer to sell him the domainname, which he accepted. But mr. Asshole moved the shop to a different hostingprovider thinking that the dns would be magocally updated. Of course not asshole. So I offered (to be cooperative) to update dns so his site will work again. I did. A day later again a letter that site still not reachable and he'd sue me for all damages etc.

What a muppet show! You think ypu can sue me because YOU made a config mistake? He's a funny guy! I told the lawyer to not send me any 'issues' caused by mr. Asshole's unprofessional acting and if he does, I'll charge him for every second spent.

Today mr. Asshole's webshop says 'Apache is functioning normally' and that's it. Well done, asshole! See how eaay my job is and how little knowledge it requires? You proved ypu can do it yourself Big boy! Good luck selling shit on your website. Good luck with your seo rankings. And good luck fucking yourself in the ass!

Now I'm going to sue you because of copyrights violations. You use my software and you don't have a license. Either pay or remove it or I'll make you pay!

Allright, I'm pissed.

Warning: more than 4k characters written by a non native english speaker ahead.

Legend:
Storytelling
> Short summary of the current situation
> "Something being said"
> (Something being thought)
* Actions *

-- Background --
In an attempt to reorganize my desktop I accidentally deleted a folder I called "development". In there I stored links to all my IDEs (Not sure how you call these in english), but also some workspaces like unity (Not much stuff there, processing (just some hobby stuff) AND Eclipse (FUCKING EVERYTHING RELATED TO SCHOOL WEB DEVELOPMENT). Now 3 days have passed and I realized this important folder was missing. Cleared that windows trash the instant I deleted the trash on my desktop.

> Shit, Regret

Install a file restore programm. Do every possible search. Nothing found.

> Big shit

Deadline was in like 3 days. Week was fucking rough so:
> "Screw this, the teacher nevet corrects the assignments and also fuck JSP"

Fast forward 2 months to last week. Teacher starts checking assignments.

> Fuck

* Sees pattern: Only students with missing or bad marks are checked. *

* Feels save *

Teacher approaching me while working on current projects.
* Doesn't feel save anymore *
> "Well, I'ld like to see your THAT programm"
> Well fuck
* Tells the truth *
> "Well that's unfortunate, but I must write a mark. Do you really have nothing to show?"
* Remember that I worked on the school pcs when I started *
> (Better than nothing. Gotta try it)
* Teacher checks programm, not pleased *

> (Fuck me, but at least it's over...)

> Nope

* Teacher calls me over *
> "With the mark I had to write today you can't reach that good mark even with a good examination, what are we gonna do about this?"

> "Well, there were other assignments that were never checked. Could we replace that mark with one of those?"

* Teacher agrees *
> (Srly bless this guy for that support)

My best choice was an Android app we had to develop during December in pairs. I did the front end (90% of the whole work) and my partner the backend (10 %). I also did 30 % of these 10 %, because I had to review the shit he wasn't able to debug himself.

> brainlogic.exe provided by windows vista

This distribution was partly my fault since I overestimated the work needed for the backend, but also the fault of that fucker. I mean, he didn't tell me the professor already provided 90 % of the backend...

Rest of the week was really busy (always 1 or 2 things to study for each day, workout and family stuff).

Yesterday (It's past 12 already) I arrived at ~9 pm in the dorm I could finally start reviewing my code.
Internet gets shut down at 10 pm.
Gotta hurry.

* Opens project *
* Sees half a year old code *
* Fights urge to puke *
> (Alright I gotta do this. For the mark!)
* waits for gradle to index files *
* Remembers the fact that I haven't opened Android Studio in the last 2 months *

For those who don't develop with android studio: This is an equivalent to ~10k windows updates waiting to be installed

> (Well, gotta work with this kinda old version)

"gradle sync failed"
> ( Ok, just restart it. You're fine )
* Android Studio doesn't react anymore and/or renders *
* Waits 5 min *
* Restarts laptop *
* Android Studio is reacting again*
"gradle is synching"
9:45 pm: gradle is done and I can finally compile my app

> FML

* Sees App launched on phone *
* Almost pukes again *

> (This was the assigment for the UX chapter, so design doesn't matter)

UX is decent. Proceeds with testing stuff. Save paths work, but some bugs can be caused by going of it

* fixes as much as possible *

* Takes quick look at backend *

Date date = new Date (GregorianCalender.getInstance().getTimeInMillis());

C'mon, I asked you to be the backend. You got 90% of the methods already written by the teacher and had 2 months to write the interfaces to my Front end AND you come up with shits like that.

Note: this example is a minor example of brainlogic.exe

I did what I could to make improve my situation. Hopefully he doesn't discover the bugs. And If it's a backend bug then I could't care less, since that was not my job!

Wish me luck for today!

Fuck it. I'm tired. Anybody found me a rich husband? I'm ready to assume the role of a trophy wife.

1. Still no recommendation letter. My PhD application is hanging on a thread. If I were such an intolerable ass, someone could've at least told me. Or at least told me "no" when I asked them to write these damn letters.
2. I turned down a job offer, cuz a) offered salary was below market average for that role on that level, b) the guy who was supposed to be my senior and the only other person in the team gave the vibe that he disliked me, and c) asked the PM a simple question of what is his expectations of the product for the next three to six months and didn't get a solid answer. (Can't do magic tricks)
So I turned it down cuz I don't want to get stuck in another's swamp. (Been there, done that!)
3. I'm running out of ideas for the comic I was working on. As well, the backgrounds of drawings proved to be an absolute hassle. Gah.
4. So, the next switch is to the barista role. I have signed up for a lackey/intern/assistant role which starts in about two weeks. Wish me luck cuz if this doesn't work out I'm all out of ideas. Like, literally don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. Which will make those who are jealous of me really happy, but I shouldn't make my life about what doesn't make enemies and frenemies happy, right?

Not a rant about anything in particular. Just a summary of some feelings stored in the hateful part of my heart.

Developing for Android: Add this third-party library to your Gradle build. Use (this) built-in Android class to make the thing work.

*Clicks link

Deprecated since API version SUCKMYDICK-7. Use (this) instead

*Clicks link

Deprecated since API version LICKMYBALLS-32. Use...

Developing for Windows: Please use (this) API call. It was literally already available before Bill Gates was born. Carbon dating has placed this item to older than the universe itself and it is likely the entry point for the big bang. It is also still the best way to accomplish (task).

Developing for Linux: "Hmm, I wonder how to use this"

> > > Some shitty mailing list in small blue monospace font tells you to reference a man page that is three versions behind but the only version available.

What? Those three sentences didn't explain it enough? Well, maybe you aren't cut out for this type of thing.

JavaScript: you know how it is.

SQL: You expect a decent-quality answer from stack overflow but you always get an outdated and hacky response and it's using syntax from Microsoft SQL. You need MySQL.

C#: A surprising number of Microsoft forum results ranking high on Google. You click on one in hopes that it will be of any sort of quality. You quickly close the tab and wonder why you ever even had hope.

Literally any REST API: Is it "query" or "q"? "UserID" or "user_id"? Oh, fuck, where's the docs again?

You thought you escaped JavaScript, but it was a trick!: Some bullshit library you downloaded to make your other library work redefined one of the global variables in the project you inherited. Now you get 347 "<x> is not a function" errors in your console. Good luck, asshole.

FontAwesome/ Material fonts/ Any icon font pack: You search "Close" for a close button icon. No results. You search "Simplified railroad crossing sign without the railroad". You get a close icon.

I think that's all of my pent up rage. Each of them were too small for an individual rant so I had to do this essay.

Came back from vacation today to find out that some FUCKTURD PIECE OF SHIT deleted my virtual server!! Tried to find any traces on who that SHITFACED NUTSACK was without luck. This server is hosting several websites, some having files and data stretching over more than 10 years! Spent the day praying to GOD that my equally old backup scripts had run and where the FLYING FUCK those files were saved. Luckily the script had worked and I found a recent backup so now I can start the restore process on another machine. But still. WTF!!??

Fucking bruteforce man. Was supposed to go sleep when got few messages from my gameserver players that their accounts have been hacked.

Checked their logs, all of their accounts have been accessed from Russia. Told them to change their passwords and they told me their previous passwords which were easy af to guess.

Digged deeper and found hundreds of thousands failed logins in the last few hours and all of them from different ips.

Since I cant modify gamefiles on client side, the solution for now was to disable in-game registration and force player registration through the website form with captcha and also where each players login name gets appended with a random suffix chosen by player from a random list..

Fuck you bruteforce scriptkiddies, good luck guessing accounts now. At least I can sleep now.

The last person who might have taken offense at this recently quit, so time for a consequence-free rant. I just want to say...

Fuck absolutely every single one of my teammates who quit this year. Fuck your shitty, undocumented spaghetti code from hell that the rest of us will have to rewrite because it's utterly broken and functions mostly on prayer and luck. Fuck the 1000+ git repos we'll have to rename so we can even begin to tell them apart. Fuck your complete lack of any sort of processes or procedures or standards. Fuck the person who hated tickets and decided we could just have hundreds of people ask us for help on Slack whenever they need it. Fuck the people who quit because we got a new manager who told us we need to support the applications we build. Fuck the person who said "I'm leaving because I want to move forwards instead of backwards" as if fixing bugs in the code YOU WROTE TWO WEEKS AGO is really moving backwards. Fuck the two people who designed their own separate pipelines and then used both without bothering to debate and pick the better one (spoiler: both are completely undocumented and broken as hell).

I hope your various new employers figure out that your strategy of covering shit with gold paint doesn't change the smell.

Now the rest of us have to fix it all, and we're probably going to start by demolishing most of it so we can rebuild it from scratch.

Inner Me: Where the fuck is this bug coming from
> Set a breakpoint in every single place where the method I'm using is being called.
> Try calling the method before every function call
Inner Me: FUCKING DAMNIT! It's been hours now
Inner Me: No way it's the library I'm using.
Inner Me: That couldn't possibly be the problem
> Try running it again and delete some more shit
Inner Me: FUCK MEEEEEEEE
> Getting delirious
> Begin to look at some stupid memes.
> Come back to it.
> Have an Ah-ha moment
> Try running it again but rearrange the order of the method calls
> Still no luck
> try git stashing a bunch of my changes
> git stash apply them back
> erase the method call entirely
Inner Me: well that sort of worked, but now all my numbers are incomplete
Inner Me: FUCKING FINE!!! I'LL LOOK IN THE GODDAMN LIBRARY
Inner Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK a stupid integer casting was occuring to my floats!!!

Now Talking to my girlfriend.

Me: The problem was in the library I was using
Girlfriend: How are you going to fix it if it's in the library?
Me: ... I can, because I wrote the library...
Me: FUCK ME RIGHT?
Me: I guess moral of the story; sometimes the problems starts with ourselves
GF: Hahaha. Thats Deeep

I’m excited! I start my new (and first ever!) job as a dev today. I hope I do well. I’m surprised I got hired too, as I don’t have much professional experience to my name, but this is my dream and there’s no way I’m going to fuck this up! Wish me luck!

I helped a homeless man with a really bad foot condition down the stairs to get to the subway platform along with bringing down his wheelchair. Just his luck that the elevator was out of service. The man cried and said that he wished more people like me existed in the world but the world he knew was long gone from his grasp.

My problem with that situation was that people just ignored him and look disgusted at him....since when did we as humans lose faith in each other to the point that we ultimately care about differences, status, and appearance before anything else?

Such a sad fucking world we live in today and I had just learned that he used to be a programmer and worked at IBM back in the days (he had a really old decrepit badge too and we shared some programming woes before we got on separate trains).

Bless him and fuck everyone else who stood by and watched the poor man suffer. Those people are worse than shit, they are the scum of the Earth in my eyes.

Holy shit. Didn't know I had to vent this out before I had revisited this shit.

Storytime!

Back in May last year, I started working on a dream project (call project X) of mine. Surprisingly it's still a novel idea and shit like this doesn't exist. Made some huge incremental changes. Added all the necessary automation pipeline stuff. Added some sick ass readme with screenshots/badges/glitz/glam.

Worked my ass of for about a month or so until I got distracted by other pending projects in need of clearances. Somewhere partway in that clearance period, I receive a mail from this "GitHub user" asking me why the development of project X had suddenly stopped.

I was a bit taken aback. Firstly because my project had ZERO stars and NO user interaction. Secondly because I hadn't encountered someone with confrontation like this since my middle-school teacher asking me for my homework.

Being the good, responsible child I am, I informed them on my situation and asked them to contribute according to the guidelines and I'd be more than happy to see this becoming a joint effort by the community.

Apparently, they were quite ecstatic to learn that my development was halted. They didn't have plans to contribute. Instead they wanted me to take down the project and stop working on it entirely.

Tough luck fucko.

Their organization had been working on something similar for longer than a couple of years. A similar open-sourced project will *apparently* ruin their market impact and I can *apparently* be sued for it.

I don't know much about open-source "laws" (and I've seen laws fuck people over) but this just seems retarded. At the moment, I'm not quite sure how to continue with the project. I'll still work on it but the fact being that I started receiving threats before stars makes me question the gatekeeping capacity of toxic market conditions (I still don't blame the person entirely. It's just really hard to keep your head above the water)

This is a one off thing but somehow it has definitely hampered my drive to work on the project (combined with the sheer amount of pending project that I've dug my grave with).

On the brighter side I've got 10 anonymous stars with zero promotion. 2 new message threads with productive insights and a person who says "I'm relying on this to work out". So not everything has gone to shit.

"I keep telling you, I'm not a pilot"
"and I keep telling you, you fly boys crack me up!"

I'm not a developer, but I'm doing some complex things and I need the benefit of computers to work things out, so I know enough programming to get me by. Recently one of the uppers decided that all the amateur spaghetti python programs I'd quickly slapped together should be developed into tools that the clients engineers can use!

"How long do you need!."
" I have no idea how to make something like that",
"but it's all just maths right! you can figure it out",
"probably, given long enough bu.. "
"okay get started and we'll check in in a couple of weeks" "hold o.." "I'll give your pride and joy to the graduate to fuck up while you're working on that" "wai.. " "anyway got take this call, good luck"
┗|｀O′|┛

So here I am.. I have no idea what I'm doing.

So since I have a working knowledge of python, fortran and VBA, someone suggested I learn nim, which was not what he sold it as. Then a software engineer that went to the same uni as me, suggested RUST! you can't mess up rust, and look at this I created (shows me a decent looking desktop application) "I'll help you out". But it wasn't really that easy.

Then I asked some questions... that was my first mistake, that's not acceptable until you know what you're doing apparently. Especially when the answers are in the docs you can't find in a topic you don't understand for a version you're not using solved with a tool you've never heard of for an operating system you forgot existed. Look at this moron asking a question.

Okay to be fair, I went through the rust docs and it was well written, and I do really like this language. But I do not have a degree in computer science, and so many docs for crates are just written with an expectation of a certain level of knowledge. As soon as there's a build error, it's at least 3 -4 days of me faffing about trying to decipher hieroglyphics.

..and the graduate is about to unwittingly commit manslaughter..

I'm sure whoever needs to fix this mess in the future will post a rant about this train wreck.

New job on the horizon after being unemployed for a couple of months. Moving away from full-stack a bit to focus in on front-end stuff. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Expect rage-filled rants in the near future 👌

Taking some time off was beneficial in all kinds of ways: got out of long term toxic relationship, got in betterer shape, learned stuff I'm actually interested in, mental health improved massively along with self-esteem, and I reconnected with friends and family. I'm actually enjoying life again. Don't get me wrong though, I had to claw my way out of a pretty dark hole... But I'm starting to think I fucking made it. This is a new start and I'm excited.

Fuck being in a toxic relationship.
Fuck working a job that is killing you.

If you're reading this and feel stuck: you deserve better. Listen to your gut, only you know what kind of life is good for you. It doesn't matter if it's a good job by every possible standard if it's making you miserable! A relationship exists to help you grow, to give you energy, to cultivate love. Sure, you'll go through bad times but if it's pathologically bad it won't get better on it's own. Trust me, I waited years for things to get better.

Anyways, good luck with whatever is challenging you right now, big or small. 😘

I will be pitching my startup idea for the first time in my life to potential investors one on one after qualifying for a second round in a business competition.
I am nervous 😬, desperately need to get the fund, and haven't been a good presenter.
Background: the business is still on prototype stage.
I stutter by default if I am slightly nervous.
From feedback my prototype is great- but my pitching might not be too great.
Damn I just have less than 6 hours to pitch.
Fuck this nervous mess.
Dev wish me good luck😶

About to do my first certification... Its an online test and I am nervous as fuck...

Wish me luck!!!

Tl;dr: I do not care. Just read it or fuck off.

A friend of mine who is a paki classmate, as well, had applied for the same "Ausbildung" offer as me half a year ago.
The company is based in Germany, but is working in the US, France, UK, Turkey, China, [...], too.
After 2 interviews, they told us to contact us back within the next week. We have had our interviews on Sundays.
In the list of all candidates I was the second best. The top candidate was my classmate. The third best candidate was a guy who was involved in the last interview with both, me and my paki friend.
The candidates list was not shown to everyone else, but my paki friend.
They wanted to give him the job. [That is a big company who is creating a new dev team and expanding their IT building. Nonetheless they only accept only one candidate.]
My classmate had been given a letter that he had to sign within the same hour he was with the managers. He discussed it and said that he has other offers open and want to compare them first. They gave him a timespan of only 1 day afterwards to sign it.
He told me he is going to decline it and he did.
Normally, I should have been the person who gets the letter to sign to be accepted for the job, but no.
After letting me wait for almost 2 weeks, they sent me an mail (they usually sent ordinary letters to invite me to interviews lol) in which they said that I am unfortunately not taken for the job yada yada yada and that they wish me luck for my future.
Fuck yourselves. How about that?
I was the second best candidate. The best candidate did not want the job yet you fucking morons do this type of shit. You want the best for me?
I want the worse for you. Death to both of you managers who sucked all of my energy, patience and time.
I am really fucking pissed rn

so ive been looking for a java internship for the past days but fuck me, ive made a very huge mistake......

I FORGOT TO ADD JAVA TO MY CURRICULUM

*flips chair*
*flips table*
*flips shit*

hopefully they will see my extra message/letter and read because if they only look at my cv, and see theres no java there, im gonna be rejected real fast :(

wish me luck guys, i went from job hunting to internship hunting bc im reallt desperate now

The Cloud Of Bullshit

Every day I wake, and I think of my one true mission in life. To mock and ridicule paint huffing idiots. Something recently that drew my ire, like the hemorrhoids on my ass is this idea of 'the cloud', THE CLOUD and the buzzword lingo-bingo bullshit that providers use to hype and sell it.

For example, airtable is an amazing service. I love that I can insert just about anything into a row, create any of my own row datatypes, that it's flexible as all hell.

I love it.

And I hate that I'm essentially locked in to the cloud.
I fucking hate how if my internet goes down (thanks you pie eating inbred dipshits at comcast) I have no access.
If the company is bought, they'll shut down like all the rest , to be "relaunched at a later time" (or never).
I hate that if the company doesn't make enough money, or it's investors change their mind, woopsie, service is shut down.
I hate that the cloud is synonymous with massive data leaks and IOT-levels of stupidity in security practices.

Every time someone says "but its in the cloud! Isn't it amazing!"

I always think 1. YEAH IF IM AN INVESTOR I GET TO MILK LOW BROW FINGER PAINTING FUCKWITS EVERY MONTH like Adobe sucking the blood from infants who are still in college.

2. Why? So I can get locked into their platform, have them segment off previously free features (fucking youtube and the 'subscribe so you can continue playing audio with your screen off' bullshit), and then have fees increase month over month?

3. Why, so every four years during the presidential selection, if I piss off some fuckstick braindead lemming literally sucking his girlfriends BFs cock, they can potentially shut me out from my own data completely?

The Cloud is built on shit-colored hype sold to knob gobbling idiots, controlling idiots, profiting at the expense of idiots, and later fucking them for buyout payola. The Cloud is a Cloud of Bullshit shat out by huckster messiahs straight into the lapping mouths of fanatics worshiping slavishly like toilet drinking scum at the porcelain alter of a neon god, invisible, untouchable, and like a spigot, easily shut off without anyone noticing. And when it happens, I'll be there, shouting "WHERE IS YOUR CLOUD NOW?"

Native any day. 100% native or I don't fucking want it
None of this node.js-gone-native bullshit either with notetaking apps taking up hundreds of megabytes of ram, where everything is bootstrap or react, in a browser, in a window container, because people are so fucking incompetent we have to hold their hand WHILE they give themselves a reach around.

Native or nothing.

For my favorite notetaking app, I use Microsoft OneNote. "OH god, a heathen, quick, stick his body up on a stake!"

But hear me out. I'll be the first one in a crowd to kick bill gates in the nuts (not because I particularly hate microsoft, just because I think hes kind of a cunt).

So when I say onenote is good, I really fucking mean it. Sure they did some cunty things like 'dumbed down' the interface, and cut out some options. But you know what they can't do?
Shut down the damn service (short of a system update completely removing the whole app, which, frankly, wouldn't surprise me).

It's so god damn good it waxed my balls, cured my cancer, fixed my relationship with my father, found my long lost brother, and replaced ALL my irl notebooks.

It's so good that if it was cocaine I'd be hospitalized for overusing it.

So god damn good it didn't just replace all my notebooks, it even replaced and sped up my mockup process three to five times. Want layers?

Built in. Just drag an image on to the notebook to import instantly.

Want to rearrange layers? Right click select "send forward/back/bring to front/send to back".

Everything snaps to grid by default and is easily resizeable.

I had all the elements for a UI sliced and diced. Wanted to try a bunch of layouts. Was gonna take me two damn days.

Did it in three hours with the notebook features of onenote.

After I started using onenote, me and my bodypillow finally conceived even.

Sweet marries mammaries I just fucking jizzed. Thank you onenote.

P.s. It really did speed up my UI design, allows annotated images, highlighted text. Shit, it can even do kanban.

And all I can think is "good job microsoft making an awesome product for free, being dumb as fuck for not charging for it, and then not marketing it at ALL."

It was sheer fucking luck that I discovered it while was I was looking for vendor STD bloatware to blast off my new install.

OneNote: Worth a try even for the kick-gates-in-the-nuts fan club.

The cloud can suck my balls.

What the fuck Visual Studio? Last day my app was compiling succesfully. I DID NOT CHANGE ANY SINGLE FUCKING THING BEFORE I LEFT OFFICE. Today it refused to compile. It didn't even show the source of error, just says missing a reference.

- Clean solution, rebuild. Compile error
- Close VS re-open project. Compile error.
- Restart computer. Compile error.
- Close VS re-open project. Compile succesfully.
WHAT THE FUCK DID JUST HAPPEN? I could't believe it if it didn't happen to me. Is this shit compiling just by luck or what?

Professor:
For your first assignment, create a Java application which can do the tasks X, Y and Z but make sure that your output is formatted exactly the same as my two examples in the PDF I've provided. You don't know if these are tabs or spaces? Just pick one and hope for the best. Oh, and don't forget to save all the generated objects in a Collection. The fuck do I know how they should be sorted in there, just make it look the same. Anyway, you can upload your code on our server sometime next week where your program will then be tested. Good luck.

PS: All my presentations are written in Comic Sans. I heard you kids love that shit.

Fffffuuuucccckkkkkkkkkk!!

My team and I had a presentation scheduled and we worked on it for more than a month.

A bloody fucking month long preparation.

We went through multiple reviews with stakeholders which weren't necessary and no other team does.

I put on some music to lift up my energy levels while I waited anxiously.

Show time.

We have one of the largest city festival going on this week.

The community in neighbouring building started reciting prayers out loud on a PA system just when the presentation began.

~40 folks and me struggling on video to not lose my cool and fuck my luck, I went nervous because I couldn't focus.

That's when my big boss pointed out that there some background noise and I had to explain it to them.

My very first presence and I forgot to even introduce myself. What a nut head I am.

I am annoyed and angry at myself. I perform well impromptu over planned and preparedness.

Thankfully my team mate who talks a lot and my designer, handled things well and saved the day.

Massive respect for them and kick in nuts for me.

Uuugggghhh!!

Also my neighbour is renovating his entire house and since I am using it as my workspace, I literally sit in between junk and cement and wires all around.

What a messy wasted day it was.

So my manager calls me in today and says "Congratulations for getting the excellence award, but I'm sorry we can't give it to you as you're still a contract employee. But hey you did a good job 👍"

IDK if I should be happy or sad. Or just say FUck my luck and get back to coding 😂

Who am I?

Some of you, because of the hyperbolic, outrageous, trollish, and often self-satirical nature of my posts, might doubt me. Thats completely relatable.

Heres the truth:
I was diagnosed in childhood with ADHD, fucking everyone, every male, these days is diagnosed with that. I was diagnosed bipolar. Hell anyone reading my posts could see that from a mile away. I was diagnosed on the borderline personality spectrum. Yeah, I could see that.

I was tested. They said I was in the 98th percentile for clerical ability, not extraordinary but pretty good, mathematical ability a little higher than that. My SAT was 1491. Not yale material, but I coulda been someone.

Over the years I studied a LOT of politics and read a metric fuckton of books. (40+ books over the course of three years).

I predicted every single presidential election since bush juniors second election. Three supreme court picks. Senatorial elections. Congresional elections. More than that.

I have a better analysis track record than some of the multidecade analysts sitting in the fucking NSA.

No I am not shitting you. No I am not exaggerating.

It's about the only claim to fame I get to legitimately make.

People ask me, "then why aren't you famous?"

How do you know I'm not.

Look I'm gonna tell you my actual name.
My real name is Lawrence B. Lindsey

Okay, I'm bullshitting for fun. But words I have written on alt twitter accounts have legitimately come out of presidential hopeful's mouths. No, this I am *not* bullshitting you about.

Imagine that. A guy who lived in his parents attic for five years, writing words that came out of presidential candidates mouths.

At one time I was about as popular and influential as that fuckboy catturd.

yes, really. No I am not fucking joking.

Under normal conditions I wouldn't talk about this or reveal it, because who the fuck cares? I'm just some dude on the internet, drunk, both on alcohol, and the pseudo-anonymous equivalent of bragging rights.

You know how many women I turned down because I could? You know how fucking drunk I am? They say a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. Well, I'm not usually honest like this because the internet is full of false braggarts, and you tell people the truth and they don't fucking believe you.

I swear, it seems like I made some faustian bargain at some time, and can achieve no fame or lasting wealth in my life--to save my life.

Shit, I was talking to a chinese women who ran a bank in china (yes, really), who advised me to buy into bitcoin early on. Didn't have the money to. Woulda been a fucking millionaire if I did.
*Non-obvious* Ideas that major corporations are now persuing? Yeah those were sitting in my card index since the early 2000s.

I helped two people build and sell businesses. One for me tens of thousands. Another for millions. Yes, really. Got zero, and I mean, *zero* credit for it.

Point is, doesn't matter how famous you are, or coulda been, Doesn't matter the ideas you have, or had.

The world doesn't promote runners-up, or hasbeens, or wannabes, or could-bes.

What matters is execution.

If you're wandering through life, wondering when you're lucky break will be, stop. You have to realize, you make your own luck. Recognize the difference between what you can control, and what you can, and work on promoting your own ideas or business or values, instead of other people's dreams.

And for those wondering, yes I am drunk, and no, I ain't fucking kidding you in anything I wrote here.

The most important lesson I learned is this:
First work on your own success, before you work on the success of others.

p.s.

I give surprisingly good advice for someone who doesn't benchmark well on traditional measures of success. I know, even I was shocked when I looked at the statistics.

So I found this consulting job a while ago thinking that some extra cash while studying would be nice to have.

I meet with the guy, a researcher trying to start a business up, good for him I think, maybe we'll hit it off, continue working, why not? Except he has no clue how to write working code, all he ever did was writing matlab scripts he says, thats why he hired me he says.
Okay, fine, you do your job I do mine.

He hands me the contract, its about comparing two libraries, finding out which one is better suited for his job, cool, plots and graphs everywhere.

Except this is an unpaid job. YOU WHAT?! It's a test job. FINE. At least it'll look good on my resume.

We talk about the paid part where I'm supposed to scale the two libraries, looks good, as expected from an ML engineering perspective. It comes to payment. The dude has no idea how taxes work, says he has a set amount to pay and not a penny more. I explain with examples how taxes are paid, how you get reimbursed for them and so on. Won't budge. Screws me over.

Opens the door for other jobs I think, he'll learn next time I think and take the job.

Fast forward a month, 90% of the job done, he adds a third thing to compare. Gives a github link to a repo with 2 authors, last commit a year ago. There are links to a 404, claiming compiled jars. Fuck.

Not my first rodeo, git clone that shit, make compile, the works. The thing uses libs that ain't in no repo, that would be too easy. Run, error, find lib, remake all the things, rinse repeat.

The scripts they got have hardcoded paths and filenames for 2 year old binaries, remake that shit.

It works, at least I get a prompt now. Try the example files they got, no luck, some missing unlinked binary somewhere, but not a name mentioned. Cross reference the shit outta the libs mentioned on readme, find the missing shit, down it.

Available versions are too new, THE MOLDING NUTCRACKER uses some bug in an old version of the lib.

I give up. Fuck this. This ain't worth the money OR time. Wanker...

I love open source and all that fun stuff but I am very unimpressed by having to use GNU/Linux based OS after the last fuck up... the lack of games, stuff that actually works, the almost constant need to compile something and the need to have DDG open at all times because something broke. I mean why the fuck do I need to install libcurl3:i386(for 32 bit programs and games) if there is already libcurl4 and why the actual fuck does it conflict?!... Why the fuck do I need to glue together and compile drivers for my printer?! And they only have "beta support" so like half of the functions that the printer would normally have... Why the fuck don't any games work? Witcher 2? Nope, you click launch and the launcher just closes itself. osu!lazor? Nope, the game will run but only as a process in the background, no window will open no matter what I do. StarCraft: Brood War? Nope, Wine hates the battle.net client and running it in a VM is a really bad idea, the game flickers like crazy... Any other games? Pretty much out of luck... I would really like to play KCD but I doubt it would be playable...

*flashback to days of windows xp*
Just finished formatting and installing xp on friend's trash pc cuz the os was compromised due to a shitload of viruses. Notice that other partitions might still be infected and i don't have an antivirus on me.
"Big boi Ill be back in an hour, just whatever you do, don't open ANY drives no matter how urgent it is. Just Don't do it or i won't be able to help you"

Come back and VIOLA this worthless trash avocado opened a drive to play a game and d pc was infected. Again. Back to square one. It almost broke my heart. Almost.

I remember that day well. I was 15yo and hopeful. That day marks d start of my hatred toward tech incompetent people.
SO FKIN
A N G E R Y

So today
College
My classmates stink of incompetence. I'm not that smart in fact i consider myself to be a noob among devs but seeing ppl that are several order of magnitudes trashier than me breaks my heart and makes me soo Fkin

A N G E R Y

Hey you cunt of a skunk, WHY can't you even compile a fkin cpp file without an IDE what the fuck is wrong with you? What do u mean ur program isn't compiling? Well it literally says there syntax error on line 15 congrats u moron u fkin spelled else as esle. Why shud I waste my time on stupid Shitty ppl like u huh?

And waddup mr shithead.No. Not gonna help you partition ur drives and install a fkin linux just cuz ur too lazy to google it urself.
And if i refuse to help cuz im working on my shit then I AM D BAD GUY? Stop bitching about me u lazy bastards get ur lazy arse off and read the fkin book. Watch a tutorial or sm shit why the fuck can't u understand YOU LITERALLY PAY TO COME HERE AND YOU AREN'T EVEN TRYING TO LEARN THE BASICS GOOD LUCK GETTING A JOB YOU WORTHLESS CUNTS.

Now now all the poison is out i can finally focus on improving myself and stop giving a fuck about them. Its hard to be calm and cool when ur surrounded by ppl like this all day. Even harder when there is almost noone that you can look upto. All this time, there's only one thing I've learnt- in a place like dis, being an asshole is better dan being polite.

Here comes the story how I became a DevRanter.
When I was young, I built an expensive gamer-machnine, so I had to crack games. I Got used to computers, so I startet an apprenticeship in IT. I finished with good grades. I left everything and everyone behind and moved in a city, found a parttime job as a PHP developer and started studying CS. After 5 years doing work as developer, studying CS, creeping around as soldier, I finally finished and graduated. After a few months working fulltime (same job), as my life began to settle down and I got bored.
A flatmate (also CS) laughed his ass off about something, then he introduced me to DevRant. It became part of my life to read DevRant, to overcome boredom. But there are not enough new Rants.. I'm f'cked. OK, I resigned my Job, and my flat and signed up for the BS in natural scinces at university in an even bigger city. I will again leave everything behind to begin a new life. Now I'm planing to freelance to pay the bills and challenge me again. Wish me luck :)

So I am beginning this new life with writing this story, how i became a dev. I klick Post, and bang! "please verify your email before ranting.. blah" I got no mail, no span, nothing. Resend.. wait.. nothing. I WAS BORED AGAIN!! FUCK YOU MAIL-SERVER, WHY CAN'T YOU SEND AN EMAIL WITHIN SECONDS OR MINUTES, WE ARE IN 21ST CENTURY AND THE INTERNET CONSISTS MAINLY OF OPTIC FIBER CABLES!!
And this is, dear DevRant community, how i become a Ranter, just then when I wanted to Post my first story.

Fuck Homestead.

For the fortune of you not to know, Homestead is a sad attempt at a Wix-like build your own website platform.

However, Homestead is the most unusable piece of shit platform that humans have ever had the misery of interacting with

Lets start off with the login page. The login page is small, unresponsive and half the time just deletes your input whenever you press submit.

It's important to note that unless you're running MacOS or Windows, Homestead will send to an error page on which there's a link to contact support, but pressing that link requires MacOS or Windows.

Fine, I'll fiddle around with my user-agent, and we'll be in soon enough. But now we come to the joy that is the website editor itself.

The website editor is clunky, hard to use, and has enough menus and submenus and sidebars to make the Jira UI shake with fear. Each interface option label is either ridiculously ambiguous or just straight up wrong. The built-in HTML editor doesn't support HTML5, in the name of "browser compatibility".

CSS? Pah! Who needs it! Our psuedo-90s skeuomorphic ugly-as-shit prebuilt styles will work just fine. Responsive design? Bullshit! Nobody uses a smartphone to browse the web, so why do we need to handle it?

Uploading a file? Good fucking luck buddy. There's a complicated dance among the minefield of pop-ups that ask you to confirm some shit or modify some shit and you gotta click the right option each time or else the file won't upload.

Wanna use https like 86% of the entire web and all modern websites? That's a premium feature. Fork over an extra $10 a month

Ok ok, I made it through all that. Dig through the thousands of menus to find the 'publish changes' button, and sigh with relief.

Open up a private browser tab to check my work, and nope. The site looks like shit, even by Homestead's standards. That's because Homestead claims to be a WYSIWYG editor, but it's a damn lie. The site looks like shit, so it's time do dive back into the hellhole that is this damn site editor.

And rinse and repeat. Deal with the shitty editor, publish, and pray it doesn't look like garbage. Be too scared to test on other devices because this flaming pile of dog shit pretending to be a website is bad enough on my device.

Two more months, then I'm done with this client. Someone get me a drink

PayPal = GayPal

PHASE 1

1. I create my personal gaypal account
2. I use my real data
3. Try to link my debit card, denied
4. Call gaypal support via international phone number
5. Guy asks me for my full name email phone number debit card street address, all confirmed and verified
6. Finally i can add my card

PAHSE 2

7. Now the account is temporarily limited and in review, for absolutely no fucking reason, need 3 days for it to be done

8. Five (5) days later still limited i cant deposit or withdraw money

9. Call gaypal support again via phone number, burn my phone bill

10. Guy tells me to wait for 3 days and he'll resolve it

PHASE 3

11. One (1) day later (and not 3), i wake up from a yellow account to a red account where my account is now permanently limited WITHOUT ANY FUCKING REASON WHY

12. They blocked my card and forever blocked my name from using gaypal

13. I contact them on twitter to tell me what their fucking problem is and they tell me this:

"Hi there, thank you for being so patient while your conversation was being escalated to me. I understand from your messages that your PayPal account has been permanently limited, I appreciate this can be concerning. Sometimes PayPal makes the decision to end a relationship with a customer if we believe there has been a violation of our terms of service or if a customer's business or business practices pose a high risk to PayPal or the PayPal community. This type of decision isn’t something we do lightly, and I can assure you that we fully review all factors of an account before making this type of decision. While I appreciate that you don’t agree with the outcome, this is something that would have been fully reviewed and we would be unable to change it. If there are funds on your balance, they can be held for up to 180 days from when you received your most recent payment. This is to reduce the impact of any disputes or chargebacks being filed against you. After this point, you will then receive an email with more information on accessing your balance.

As you can appreciate, I would not be able to share the exact reason why the account was permanently limited as I cannot provide any account-specific information on Twitter for security reasons. Also, we may not be able to share additional information with you as our reviews are based on confidential criteria, and we have no obligation to disclose the details of our risk management or security procedures or our confidential information to you. As you can no longer use our services, I recommend researching payment processors you can use going forward. I aplogise for any inconvenience caused."

PHASE 4

14. I see they basically replied in context of "fuck you and suck my fucking dick". So I reply aggressively:

"That seems like you're a fraudulent company robbing people. The fact that you can't tell me what exactly have i broken for your terms of service, means you're hiding something, because i haven't broken anything. I have NOT violated your terms of service. Prove to me that i have. Your words and confidentially means nothing. CALL MY NUMBER and talk to me privately and explain to me what the problem is. Go 1 on 1 with the account owner and lets talk

You have no right to block my financial statements for 180 days WITHOUT A REASON. I am NOT going to wait 6 months to get my money out

Had i done something wrong or violated your terms of service, I would admit it and not bother trying to get my account back. But knowing i did nothing wrong AND STILL GOT BLOCKED, i will not back down without getting my money out or a reason what the problem is.

Do you understand?"

15. They reply:

"I regret that we're unable to provide you with the answer you're looking for with this. As no additional information can be provided on this topic, any additional questions pertaining to this issue would yield no further responses. Thank you for your time, and I wish you the best of luck in utilizing another payment processor."

16. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I AM BLOCKED FOR NO FUCKING REASON, THEY TOOK MY MONEY AND DONT GIVE A FUCK TO ANSWER WHY THEY DID THAT?

HOW CAN I FILE A LAWSUIT AGAINST THIS FRAUDULENT CORPORATION?

Why am I sad, depressed, demotivated, you ask?
Because I was asked to create-react-app with nodemailer, it worked well on heroku, YAYYY MEE, "

"NOTHING GOES WRONG IN DEPLOYMENT FUCK YEAH"

Little did I know that was a "demo" for the business people, My superior / manager/boss wants me to deploy on 1and1 service provider,

> Okay 1 and 1 service provider does provide Nodej, so it shouldn't be hard.
> Turns out it is a Windows hosting server IIS 10 without URL Rewrite.
> *INTERNAL SCREAMING*
I went up to him to talk about this issue and requested to let me talk to 1 and 1, and get this sorted

> But bro, if we cannot fix it, I think they also cannot fix, probably.

*INTERNAL SCREAMING AT PEAK*

I just want URL Rewrite installed on IIS10 so that I can move on to the next project.
A little background for this project
> No support from him during development.

> I personally used HD Images, because why not?

> Website seems slow because of HD Images, and now he complains about it.

You fucking (managers) want a website to be scalable and fast and yet you choose to focus on B U S I N E S S instead of support the real guy.

I'm fucking sick and tired, it took me 24 hours figure out the issue because there is nothing on 1 and 1 support/ forum/help center.

Another 24 hours to try and fix, yet no luck.

I'm gonna finally point the domain name to heroku. Fuck, I'm so fucking done

So here goes my first rant...

I was looking for a job as a software developer when I saw one nice company hiring.

I apply to them via their form online. Then they invite me to come to their event during which they will explain everything in details.

I go there (despite the time of the event being uncomfortable for me) and listen to them for a while. Basically, they say they will send the test task to all applicants and see how it goes.

Later same day they email me saying they didn't get my CV via their form and they need me to resend it so they can send the test task. Alright, no big deal, done.

Now today they email me saying "sorry, motherfucker, better luck next time".

What the actual fuck? I spend my fucking time to go to some shitty event saying a test task will decide everything to not even get one.

So, naturally, I go and re-check my email: I definitely did send them my CV;
seems like they ignored the email and eliminated me from the application process for not having my CV, fuckers.

If they will ever in the future invite me to an interview/offer me a job there, I won't take for fucking triple pay.

Thanks for reading and helping me vent my anger, have a nice day:)

Just got an invitation for my first job interview ever... uh... fuck.

Wish me luck!

I've had a phone's charging port melt on me, a charger just give up and barely give any current, and now my charger overheated and almost caught on fire and my room smells like burnt plastic... I have great luck with charging phones

FUCK YOU LIFE!
YOU LEFT ME 3 HOURS WALKING IN THE COLD TO GET TO MY HOME FROM MY FUCKING INTERNSHIP!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ORGANIZE EVERYTHING SO THAT I.E. TODAY THE BUS DOES NOT ARRIVE AT THE BUS STATION??!?!??!?!?!!
I ALWAYS DON'T HAVE LUCK. WHATEVER I DO... I (ALMOST) ALWAYS FAIL AT IT (not talking about skill-related stuff! fuck you!)

Half my Instagram likes are just me scrolling down and randomly stopping so it accidentally counts as a like.

Good luck trying to find what I've liked tho! Instagram protects that shit more than the nuclear codes.

Who the fuck developed this shit?

This god damn unknown company reported my websites' Facebook page is violating some intellectual property. Facebook report says I must contact the reporting party to get this resolved but there were no contact details specified!! I searched on Google and Facebook om how to contact Facebook but no luck.

How the fuck can I get this resolved if I don't know who reported this? Does anybody here know how the fuck I can contact Facebook?? If you do then please let me know!

Just my luck.

I was supposed to sign a new contract last week and get paid 2x more than now + get a lot of benefits. The day before, obviously, they just HAD to stop signing contracts with new people because of COVID.

Also my engineers exam is postponed indefinitely. They are thinking about making it online, which would be awesome, but again - it was supposed to be last week. A lot of stress and time wasted.

I know, those problems are really miniscule when compared to other, but it still is annoying as fuck.

Thank for listening to my Ted talk.

Dear mother fucking Hiring Managers,

Just because you are mother fucking fortunate, have a mother fucking proper job , a mother fucking high pay , have mother fucking parents care for you, does not mother fucking mean that you can mother fucking mock those mother fucking not as fortunate as you mother fucking arse!

Some of us carrying family, surviving, we learn how to code without a degree. Just because I have to motherfucking care for my family and pay off the mother fucking loan , it doesnt mean I am mother fucking unless. You mother fucking mother fuckers go fuck your mother fucking mother fuckers is the mother fucking mother fuckers' mothers.

Where's the empathy or politeness? You fucking ridicule people's bad luck, soon your mother fucking arsehole will be one , you bloody mother fuckers!

Riddle me this

Client wants solution based on open source software.

Any additional software that I write (let's say, an offline store plugin for Feast feature store) to add missing functionality has to be closed source.

Fuck you. Intellectual property my ass. You and me wouldn't even have projects if it werent for OSS.

Good luck maintaining the plugin after I am gone.

I'm doing a lot of work and will have close to nothing to show to future employers.

(BTW, if it were for the old Microsoft model of code source, I would have never become a programmer of any sort. God bless OSS)

So apparently hiring these days is all about 1/3 learning random questions and answers 1/3 remembering algorithms from code execution portals 1/3 luck. Well fuck my life, it’s worse then 5 years ago when I last switched jobs.
So how was it 5 years ago you ask ?
I send my cv with exposed java interviewed for javascript and hired for python. At least then it was 50/50 luck.

After a failed brew.sh upgrade none of the nodejs packets were working anymore. I've spent the whole day googlling, reinstalling, cursing, asking for help, crying - without luck.

My boss got angry because he wanted that site yesterday.

Now i'm forced to clean install my mac tonight. I'm so tired.
Fuck!

Alright ladies and no so gentle men...

The time has come for me to ditch dropbox (Because fuck wanting to use ext4 and also have some spare CPU usage when syncing a single fucking file) and migrate everything from my art storage to some old prototypes into private github repo's...

Prepare to see a shit tonne of rants about me forgetting how to git and all that kinky shit...

Wish me luck *salutes*

The platform my school is using was obviously designed and developed by people who hate students.

I've seen the teacher panel, and it looks really intuitive, allowing you to see test scores, missing assignments, attendance records easily, and it was obviously well thought-out

however, the UX as a student is a goddamn nightmare

First of all, there's like 5 different places where an instructor can post an assignment, so good luck keeping track of your work

Second of all, there's no way to sort assignments by completion status or due date. Just by when assigned

Third of all, the only way to see your grade in a class is if you dig through a series of menus and submenus and sidebars so complex and stupid it puts the Jira UI to shame

And finally, one of the 'features' of this platform is that students can submit a textbox with markdown formatting natively on the platform. And that should work great and all, but APPARENTLY THE FUCKING DEVELOPERS HAVE NEVER HEARD OF LOCALSTORAGE AND YOU JUST LOSE YOUR WORK IF YOU EVER CLOSE THE TAB FOR ANY REASON!

WITH NO FUCKING WARNING! NOT EVEN A LITTLE JAVASCRIPT ALERT OF ANYTHING!

JUST POOF! AN HOUR OF WORK GONE! YAY!

In conclusion, fuck you

What the fuck is up with my luck finding raging peak lunatics, on Twitter for example, I made myself check the person I could be interested in following, by going through 3ish pages of their tweets and retweets, everything safe, then shortly after I open Twitter, I see them fucking retweeting propaganda, sec drama, writing themselves about drama surrounding them, surrounding others, I fucking signed up for tech news, insights and reviews, not your fucking bullshit you twat.

I dunno if you gents remember the Nickelodeon show known as Drake and Josh.

It was pretty big in Mexico and the U.S.

Well, one of the characters from that show is the singer/actor Drake Bell.

For a while, Drake Bell would **constantly** tweet about how much Justin Bieber sucks.

I aint denying that Justin Bieber sucks, i don't like his music at all.

But the constant attacks came out as jealousy, at least to me.

What does this has to do with development or even computers? Well this is EXACTLY how I feel about Louis Rossman CONSTANTLY making videos about apple products.
We get it man we really do, sadly for a lot of us the only way to get ios development done is through a fucking Mac

EVEN if his whiny ass is right about the hardware not being top notch and all that shit I AM still not able to explain a 2013(early...as in january) macbook pro still working with literally NO fucking problems. Before that the other macbook was just changed because we wanted the 2013 model. The thing worked, the one before did so too and the 2017 model that I have works, amazingly so i will add.

Still, the army of dell,hp and lenovo laptops that I've had before just died or are not functioning properly. Either it is my shit luck or Apple's "shitty hardware" got something really fucking right.

I think its retarded really. If you don't like them then fine, you don't have to, personally I fucking love all computers and os, but I don't get fanboys hating for the sake of hate.

the fuck you care if I spend 2500 on a computer? I would the same shit for your mom and the computer would last me longer.

Does owning multiple macs make me better than you? No

Does this mean that you are piss poor and can't afford shit and that is why you are hating? No

Will I call you <insert number of insults> gor your choice of pc or os? No

What is retarded is this: you all are DEVELOPERS(at least a good chunk) and your ass better fucking know that some people USE a certain tool because IT IS THE RIGHT ONE FOR THE JOB.

It is a damn fine operating system, a really good computing experience. It ain't your taste? Fine, das cool, but for fucks sake it does not mean that the other people are idiots or whatever.

Grow the fuck up and get yourself an opinion.

I just found out my parents have less than $30 in the bank by the end of each month after all expenses...

We are not living. We are barely surviving....

Every day in my house it is dark and the lights are off. They turn all lights off in order to avoid getting a high electricity bill. I have to use my phone's flashlight as the main source of light in my own house, as if i live in abandoned cottage in the middle of a forest.....

Both my parents are jobless (have been their entire lives). They just borrow money from their family members and grandparents to pay these bills every month. They depended on luck their whole lives. A luck in context of "maybe if i dont work anything at all then a huge pile of money will fall down from the sky!".

So now I, as their son, have to grow up in extreme poverty and fight my way up, because of DUMB, STUPID people. They are good people, but what does being a good person bring if you are fucking stupid and valueless?

I knew i was poor but today i found out i was THIS poor. I had no idea we were THIS much poor. Because today my 4g internet got cut off due to not paying bills. The bill is $30. My dad cant pay it cause he doesnt have $30 in the bank. I was in shock. So i had to pay it

My $8.125 usd an hour backend software engineer + DevOps engineer (2 jobs in 1), is considered as LUXURIOUS SALARY, in the most corrupted country of Europe -- SERBIA 🇷🇸

When i tell the world i make $8 an hour with a computer science degree working as a software engineer, they laugh at me. People mock me "bro even a mcdonalds worker earns $17/hour what are you doing" im doing what i was born into -- born into poverty of a third world shithole country.

With my $8 an hour salary, i am in TOP 3% of the HIGHEST earners in serbia. Can you fucking imagine how miserable lives do people live if this is not even an average salary, but among the ELITE salary? Because the average salary in Serbia, is $3.75 usd an hour, sometimes even less than that.

When people say "its not about luck its about hard work", please, GO. FUCK. YOURSELF.

Go and be born in a shithole third world country. Now on top of that be born in poverty due to poor decisions of your parents. Go ahead and try it. Lets see how hard you fucking have to work to get to the same level compared to someone who was born into for example America, where you get paid 6 figures immediately after graduating computer science. Or on top of that, you're born in a wealthy family in america. Did you work hard to be born in the 1st class freak show or were you LUCKY to be gifted such life?

My whole life i have been fighting to get money and escape this misery due to poor decisions of my parents.

Very ironically, my parents have lived extremely luxurious lives in the 90s. They had 5 cars. 1 huge house with a backyard garage private office private jacuzzi private gym. This house was worth at least 500k in the 90s. Today this house would cost at least 1.5 or 2 million. They went to luxurious travels. Hotels of $5000 per night per person. Literally wasted 45k in 3 days just for hotel. They even GAVE AWAY FOR FREE money to our relatives and cousins, taking them on luxurious vacations for free etc. None of those people appreciated them, none of them came to help them in tough times, everyone forgot about them and abandoned us.

Like i said, my parents are good people, but what does it profit being a good person if you are FUCKING STUPID.

They were extremely LUCKY but their STUPIDNESS has made them broke. I couldn't be THIS much fucking stupid even if i tried hard.

Nobody is coming to save us. No one cares. Its all up to me now. All the pressure and stress and poverty is passed and inherited onto my life now. its up to me to either get rich or end my STUPID bloodline

I am living a very difficult life and no one seems to understand this...

My uncle wants me to get a faster OS on this (I'm thinking android since its touch screen) he wants to embed it in his car as a GPS computer (older car) he's an actual mechanic don't worry lol so he won't fuck up any car wiring

But this monster doesn't have a USB-A it has usb-mini. Oof. Wish me luck while I try to figure this out

Today's episode of Bluey is called: "I am not ready to go back to work after a week long mandatory vacation in which I will go back into a space that has made my passion into a shitless grabs for money"

Seriously, If I hear "the president of the institution does not like <X>" I will blow my brains out.

What is worse, every "leAderShiP" meeting I ask if shit is actually a policy towards were my department head says "no, but the boss does not like <X>" <--- then fucking make it a policy.

Seriously, I have a wife, I have but one woman to keep happy, I ain't about to break my back on dumb shit that some lady dislikes when I already have to keep 1 woman happy.

Going to work is a paycheck to me, but fuck man, I am seriously leaving. Good luck trying to find fkers this part of town that can patch my software be it that I wrote it in the most esoteric shit known to mankind on these modern days.

Might start listening to recruiters, I get about 50 offers a day.

iiiii fffffuckingg hate articles that just explain something

put a piece of code

that piece of code uses X amount of classes/models

they never mention what structure are those models/classes made of

what is inside them

i cant continue following the article because i dont know what is inside them

they just put it in ur face and say Fuck you

no

Fuck YOU

<font size="1000000px;">FUCK</font>

<font size="10000000000000000em;">YYYYYYYOOOKUUUUUUUUUUU</font>

U MOTHFFFFFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

USELESSS ARTICLE

zzzzz

frustratioms

my nerves are torn

broken

disabled

demented

day

in life

obsession

hell

unreal

what is life
q

what are doing

why are doing this

what is the point of living

how long does it take for a man to die

why are some people blessed with luck and some are not

zzzz

u know what is even more frustrating

girls

yes

ohdont get me started on this topic

well i warned u

the path towards abundance lies upon the few; thou who shalt not risk high; shalt always stay thus low

girls also frustrate me bc

i always do every thing nice and im always nice

so i realized

being nice is fake as fuck and doesnt fuckin work

being urself doesn't do a Fckimg tHING

hhh

frustrations

.

breathe

.

in this hardlife

only the strong survive in this world
- tupac shakur

zzzz

so yes bavk where i was saying girls frustrate me because i always do what im supposed to

so

i tried being thou who shalt i am not

guess what mothrfucker

it works when u be a gofdamn fkig low mothfckr a u know a goddmn fkig punk then they respect u and want u

back i fckked up

i turned back to my real me, the nice me

and then they left me

they think being nice = means being weak

FUCCKK YOUU

ssss

zzzf

kindness != weakness

U FCKING WHORES

UNDERSTAND THAT

zzzzz

breathe

i just wanted to have a walk outside and thenit started raining

so i had to stay inside bc of the rain

m

i am very lonely

u know i was very fine when i was lonely at a very young age but now i need a living entity beside me

with me

i fking need

wait i will cuddle my fluffy dog rn maybe i will feel better

br b wait for me ok

i feel better now

fck

i remembered that goddamn girl again

man i feel so heart broken

srsly

i have sunk into the deepest depths of endless depression I think

it doesnt feel nice

it feels very lonely and depressing down here

but i thimk tjat is be because i care too much

some people say i overthink

I dont overthink

i am like the stealth people
the shadow people

i stay quiet and observe

everything

i always know what is happening but i rarely speak about it

and people dont realize

so they think they can fool me

no

everything has its limits

so much lies that im sick of it

i always tell it how it is

i always reward those who help me

i always help those who help me

i never forget those people

zzzZZ

why is it that people who dont give a single fucking Fffffficxkkckck about me

are the ssame people i almost care the MOST?

i cross hundreds and thousands of miles to visit a person, invest hours of my time to do that

i do that....

and they wouldnt even step 1 foot in front to see me....

what kind of life is this

vv

feel like cryin rn

.

zzzzz

.

i dont understand what one must do

what is the point

all i want is to be happy

that is it

but being happy is.... i wanted to say the hardest part of life but now my voice told me being happy is a state of mind

myself answered me that being happy ? is a state of mind?

so that means if i want to be happy even if everything around me is falling apart

in my mind i can create a psychological world that would make me.... happy ....?

or what

i dont understand what did myself tell me

why do i care so much if im lonely

u know my friend from college we go to same computer science college

hes a very smart man but a fake FUCKING friend, plastic as fuck

he reads philosophy booms and told me

"when a man is lonely for long enough, he will slowly start to fall apart"

that is me...... that is ...truth......

he quoted a philosopher from some book

zzzz

he also said a quote he read about the meaning of life

"this life is endless pain and the only purpose of life is to reduce this pain as much as possible so we can be happy"

what the fck that is incredibly depressing

what the fuck im actually crying rn

i feel stabbed in the back and left behind and cheated on, all of those happened and some of them are happening right now

dont know what to think about the reasons

all of this causes me such huge anger and depression and that is whT keeps me going

going by working harder than i am supposed to

without all this hurt there would be no glory

all this effort..... it better pay off at the end...... please God..... i beg you....

i have completed 50% of my life purpose, let me do the rest so i can die in peace...

Oh my god, GDScript is the single biggest piece of shit scripting language I have ever witnessed. It somehow manages to combine the very worst things of dynamic typing with the downsides of static typing, all in one bundle of utter shit

Imagine you have two game object scripts that want to reference each other, e.g. by calling each others methods.

Well you're outta fucking luck because scripts CANNOT have cyclic references. Not even fucking *type hints* can be cyclic between scripts. Okay no problem, since GDScript is loosely based of Python I can surely just call my method out of the blue without type hints and have it look it up by name. Nope! Not even with the inefficient as fuck `call` method that does a completely dynamic-at-runtime fuck-compile-time-we-script-in-this-bitch function call can find the function. Why? Because the variable that holds a reference to my other script is assumed to be of type Node. The very base class of everything

So not only is the optional typing colossal garbage. You cant even do a fucking dynamic function call because this piece of shit is just C++ in Pyhtons clothing. And nothing against C++ (first time I said that). At least c++ lets me call a fucking function

I'm currently between jobs and have a few rants about my previous job (naturally). In retrospect, it's somewhat therapeutic to range about the sheer brainfuckery that has taken place. Enjoy!

First, let me set the scene: legacy B2B web app made with LEMP stack and sencha ext.js 3 + 4 (don't ask) and a lot of madness. Let's call that app "Alpha".

Alpha is a self made CMS build for typical ERP stuff. Yes, a self made CMS: entities are containers, containers have types and fields and values. Like so many legacy PHP apps, it does not have a dedicated FE: the HTML is rendered on the server and then spewed out to the browser.

Easy right? Coding like it's 1999! But there was a twist: Because everything is basically a container, the HTML-templates are saved in the DB. Along with the nessary JS and the CSS. And the translation variables. Why? Because fuck you! That's why. Who needs a git history anyways.

For some reason, Alpha was kinda slow.

There was also an editor, that allowed you to modify templates (web, mail, pdf) on the fly in prod. Because templates contain repeating data (header/footer), one template could contain additional templates. Much confusion. You could change templates via migration (slow, boring) or just ctrl-c/ctrl-v that sucker (fast, much excitement).

Did I mention Alpha was slow?

On with the rant: e-mails! How do they work? Noone knows. How to send mails asynchronous in PHP? Witchcraft is the only possible answer to that riddle. Here is your enterprise™ solution:
1. create mail
2. insert mail into DB
3. WAIT UP TO 59 SECONDS FOR A FUCKING CRON TO SEND MAIL

Why? "Because that way, we can resend mails in case the network is down :)"

Same procedure for the SOAP-API (db-queue + cron). You read that right: all requests to various other systems are processed once a minute.

Alpha slow.

Alpha was only one of several systems. Imagine a bunch of monolithic php apps, interconnected via SOAP, REST and GraphQL like a godamn intergalactic orgy. Image having to debug that cluster fuck.

Let's say there is a bad request. These things happen. No biggie. Remember the db-queue? Let's try to send the bad request a second time! And a third time! Still no luck? How odd. Let's create a specific file in a specific directory: a LOCK-file. Now, "the db-queue is on hold and no request gets processed :)"

Golly gee thanks Alpha.

Anyhow, did you know that MySQL has a join limit of 61 tables?

Just my luck that I get the best wk76 story ever on wk77. Either way:

So some of you may know that the current project I am on has some shared code components with one of the other projects in the product line. And we have some differences in our processes. This leads to a lot of fun.

So, I was working on converting one of our shared components into a more modern language. It would save us time, money, and sanity by allowing us to more easily maintain our product. Sounds like a win-win right? That's what I thought. Until I had a meeting with the other team. THEN THE QUESTIONS ROLLED IN. Well who is going to integrate our product with yours? (You?) Are you changing the interface? (Not really.) Are you going to generate a design document? (Absolutely not especially since the interface isn't changing for the most part.) Well you are changing the type of one parameter in one method from an undocumented unmanaged type to a well documented managed type that we control. Shouldn't you generate a document to document that change? (Again absolutely not.)

So first they basically browbeat my lead into putting me in charge of their integration effort. Its fine though, as they gave me an account to charge. However, when I was finally able to get a machine with their build environment on it (at least two months later), they then told me that that account was closing and I had to wait until next quarter. So fuck me right. And because of their process I would break them if I were to check my changes in.

So fast forward to today. They are translating some shared components for the same reason that we are. However, they are changing code that while shared is technically "ours" and that will DEFINITELY break us if they do this work since this is the code that controls our algorithms. And while we have a fault tolerant process, or at least more fault tolerant than the other group's, we are currently doing a huge amount of development in the part they want to change. And when we ask them "who is going to do this work to integrate our product with your changes?" they stare at us slack jawed. Like "um, you right? it doesn't affect us." Like MOTHERFUCKERS!!! YOU LITERALLY JUST FOIST ALL THIS WORK ON US TO INTEGRATE WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE PEOPLE TO SUPPORT IT!!! BUT YOU CAN PAY THIS GUY FOR SIX MONTHS TO DO ALL THIS WORK THAT WILL BREAK US BUT CAN'T SPARE HIM TO INTEGRATE WITH US!?!?!? EVEN IF WE'RE PAYING HIM AND NOT YOU!?!?!

I will let you know how this goes when we have the discussion. I am drinking right now because it it easier and better for my emotional and physical health than bum fights.

Just arrived for an interview for my very first coding job. Everyone wish me luck! I'm gonna fuck up their shit for real. 😂🤣🤣

At the beginning of the evening I started creating a snapshot of my webserver Ubuntu 16.04 installation, running 5 websites.

When the snapshot was created I started a release upgrade to Ubuntu 18.04.

Finally after upgrade and reboot... Nothing worked anymore. Nginx was running but none of the websites was working.

I started checking logs & searching for a solution, with no luck.

Wanted to restore my snapshot. Reading the docs of Scaleway: only a manual on how to restore to a *new* server...

Dumb me removing my current server and wanting to create a new server: "All servers tempotary out of stock"

Me: *panicing and clicking the resfresh button every second*

"Low stock"
*HITTING the create server button*
Added my snapshot
*Booting up*

Ssh'ing into server
Server: "nope"

#+#£_&-+{$}¥}•+';!

*Sees 'add snapshot to volume'*
*Sees 'add volume to server'*
*All websites running again after nginx restart*

What the fuck.
*End of evening*

It is approximately 42 degrees C outside. And guess whose fucking compressor just went to shit? Mine. Fucking piece of shit. I absolutely fucking hate this shit. Finding the time to go to the shop is pointless when I can fix it myself, but IN the fucking event that the compressor is actually faulty and needs to be replaced then I would have to struggle to wait for the fucking part to get here. If my luck permits and this is an issue that is fixable through a simple relay change then fucking hooray.

But I know how fucking shitty my fucking luck is and its going to fuck me in the ass probably. I will troop through the heat, no problem, but I am the one that carries my 2 year old daughter everywhere and I am not about to put her through that bullshit.

So I call my wife and explain to her the situation, I don't need for her to do fucking anything, I can take care of it myself, but I tell her NOT to have me go out on random bullshit with the girl while the car is like that, I did it to make her understand beforehand because every day is an additional 1 and a half hours of driving around the city to take her do bullshit. I told her that in the event of me needing to go pick something up then it would have to be after the fucking sun goes out(which in this fucking bullshit ass town it happens after fucking 7 or 7:30pm) and she would have to stay home with the girl. What does she do? she gets upset. Of course she got fucking upset. Like if I need that fucking bs right now. OH and my fucking main Linux machine is apparently having battery issues.

OAN my manager gave me my performance review yesterday. The she made are outstanding and my score is perfect. The board is going to give a raise to everyone of us that got an high enough score so that got me in a good mood. I am holding on to that feeling before I lose my shit. Every single fucking time some bs puts me in this mood I am constantly wishing that a motherfucker would.

Fucking bullshit man. Can't have a FUCKING break anyfuckingwere.

This just in on an episode of Murphy's fucking law.

Fuck, I knew that my code for my thesis would at some point become bad and very unmaintainable. Workaround here and there, everything put together "to fix later", just to make it all work "for now". I know what my code does where and when but my tech debt has reached a critical point, where a new idea and new procedure cannot be simply be added. Well, time to refactor and modularize as much as possible😪
Wish me luck that the whole project doesn't brake. Oh and of course so many different changes that I don't know what to put in git and in which order to do so.

I can't recall one single person I can call a mentor, however...

When I first started as a developer I had a senior to work with... I knew close to anything but I was always good at research and learning on my own... But we used an asp.net framework, it was new and there was little to no useful information, only basics... When I asked the senior (let's call him Joe) for help he gave me a quick answer:
Joe: Go to file xx, there's an example of what you need there...
Me: Well, been there and that's great but it doesn't help...
Everytime I was stucked during my first week it was always some sort of the same, so I insisted this time...
Me: so, Joe... I'm really stuck on this one, can you give it a look?
Joe: I know, I've been researching a way to do it for an hour now and can't get it either...
Me: wow! Thanks... But I thought you were an expert on this...
Joe: not really, never used it before. It's as new to me as it is to you! :)

So, that switched me from "this fucking weasel won't help me for shit" to "well, let's help each other"

We became good friends, always challenging each other and from that day on I stopped asking for help, and asking where can I help others...

I had great and greatly bad colleague and seniors. Each one thought me something either what to do or what not to do, how to act or not, how to tackle problems, how to teach...

Everyone I have worked with, worked for or trained is a mentor of mine. Even those I feel like I failed training thought me how to do better next time...

Thank you guys for being grate... Thank you assholes for teaching me how to send a guy go fuck himself! Good luck for those who get stucked with me

After 3 weeks of being interviewed on upwork she replied today and told me

"Sorry, the only reason we cant hire you is because the client wants only EU passport devs"

.....

Is this my fault? How is this my fault? EVERY FUCKING TIME WHEN I TRY TO SUCCEED AT ANYTHING LIFE JUST FORCEFULLY REJECTS ME FROM SUCCEEDING AND IT IS ALWAYS BECAUSE OF THE LUCK THAT I DONT HAVE. HOW IS IT MY FAULT FOR BEING BORN IN A GARBAGE BULLSHIT PIECE OF SHIT COUNTRY AND IMMEDIATELY HAVE HUGE DISADVANTAGE IN LIFE? HOW IS THAT FUCKING FAIR??? WHY DO YOU GIVE A FUCK FROM POLITICAL REGIONS WHERE I AM BORN IF I CAN DO THE DEV JOB RIGHT????? WHST RHE FUCK IS THIS FUCKING LOW LIFE ABOUT IF I ***NEED*** LUCK TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL. NO MATTER HOW SKILLED OR HARD YOU TRY YOU WILL ALWAYS APPARENTLY FAIL IF YOU ARE MISSING ***LUCK***

Rant time. Oh boi.

So, a bit of context: I am a university student in Greece and I have a desktop PC with elementary OS on it. When the unis closed down because of Coronavirus, I moved back to my parents', without my PC, only a usb stick with elementary OS installed on it. That was before the lockdown. My parents have a desktop PC and my old laptop, both with Windows rn. I'm only able to work using Linux, so I've been just popping that elementary OS USB stick whenever I needed to work.

All cool and good. Until the usb got full. It was a 16GB one after all. No biggie, I bought a new 64GB one from a well known Greek tech shop along with a webcam my mother needed. It was a LEXAR one.

They fucking took a week to transfer it. As if the closest shop to me was in fucking Germany. For context, the drawing tablet I bought from China the other day only did 2 weeks to come. During this time I could barely use Linux because my USB stick had only some 600MB free.

Ok, wtv I said to myself. I am a patient person after all. I received the USB stick, along with the webcam, in good condition, in their packaging. Alright. I dd'ed everything from the 16GB stick to the 64GB one and then I extend the partition. Everything works flawlessly. And it's faster too.

Next day, I boot up from it again. It boots up good. Nice, time to do some work. I open my editor. And it fucking freezes. The editor is not some VSCode or Atom or any of that heavy shit, it's just elementary OS Code. A very lightweight Gtk3 app. Strangely though, the rest of my OS (the dock autohide, eg.) Seems totally responsive. I try to open another app. No luck. Not even switching TTYs work. Good shit. I force shutdown my PC. I try to boot again from that piece of shit. And guess what! NO BOOT BITCH. Like, fuck you. I boot from my previous 16GB one. Linux won't recognize it. No /dev/sdc like I used to have. Ok, lsusb. Nope, nothing. I disconnect it and reconnect it, and lsusb. An empty entry appears.I run it a couple of times, and the it disappears again. I switch to TTY 2. I get read errors and usb error -71.

And I want to fucking explode

I call back to support for the warranty coverage. I wait for a good 10 minutes and a nice lady picks up. I tell her the issue. She says that the support team will call me for the issue this day it the next day.

I hang up.

It feels like some fucking prank. YOU MOTHERFUCKING TOOK SO LONG TO DELIVER MY SHIT. Not to mention that the shitty courier service they are working with wouldn't deliver the goods to my home because it's slightly out of town. AND NOW YOU ARE DELAYING MY WARRANTY RETURN? HOW THE FLYING FUCK DID YOU BECOME A WELL KNOWN TECH SHOP WITH SUCH SHITTY SERVICE?

IF YOUR BRAINS WERE DYNAMITE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TO BLOW YOUR NOSES.

YOUR THE SERVICE EQUIVALENT OF A PARTICIPATION AWARD.

Foreigners' view of Greeks suddenly doesn't seem so unreasonable. Yes, we are fucking lazy asses. And we also hate that. We hate each other for that very reason. May this country not live any longer.

I wasted nearly 3 hours total of my working hours (I'm a contractor, every hour I don't work, I don't get paid) just to conclude interviews with a jackass who gets bent up over how I won't answer invasive questions about previous work on [big international project] at [big international software company]. For fuck sake, good talent signs NDAs, if you expect me to tell you confidential details, then you can fuck off!!! Asking me 5 times over and over isn't going to get you a different answer after I told you details are confidential.

So here I am doing a follow-up with this new agency and telling them it went well other than the jackass manager who asked invasive questions, tells me he only got 2hrs sleep, and doesn't let me finish my questions. What a fucking waste of my time. And here I am thinking it went alright and I could work there as long as the rate is hourly and I report to someone who takes care of themselves — nope, apparently this guy is the point of contact between the agencies. Good luck finding talent that wants to work for you, you jackass!

Oh, and the best part, he claimed he worked for that same company — so either he knows the NDA or he's a fucking liar.

AND the other guy in the room asked for a generic flow (so I could answer, as the question no longer requires me to disclose confidential information) — I have a solid answer, the other guy was happy. But no, doesn't satisfy the jackasses invasive question.

Fuck!!!!!

To all that read my rants regarding my webshop before! Here's the long awaited update!

So this asshole partner did just not take care of business so I decided to stand down as a director for that company. So we arranged that last monday.

I thought: let's end this properly, clean up my mail, some other stuff... tuesday he revoked me access to everything, so I couldn't access anything anymore. Wow fucker! You never did a thing and now suddenly you take action? Wtf?!

Can you please pay your part of the bill for the accountant? You already promised a couple of times.

Well of course mr retard, you really think I'll follow up on my promises? You never kept 1 of them yet expect me to keep that promise? Fuck you man.

So today he asked again. I told him that I'd like to know what he wants with all the custom made stuff as I developed it and copyright is owned by me. Then mr asshole started insulting again: just because of the fact that you're not a front end dev doesn't mean that makes.up for you taking so much time.to implement all that. I asked an expert.and he could do it in 3 hours! Wow dude! A front end dev optimizing db queries, rewriting parts of the back end in just.3 hours including the front-end?,You're so right.

Of course not cunt face. I'm already full stacking for 20 fucking years and.you tell me that?! Really? Mr insult's back again!

Then he says: I'm so fed up with all this crap that to end this properly I will have my new IT business partner look at your so called 'custom made components'.

For fuck's sake man, can I send you a tree with a rope so that you can hang yourself?

Good luck getting your domain name as it is still registered on my company's name. I might cancel it someday in the future at my convenience.

If anyone here loves fucking up a website, get in touch with me.

TLDR; windows sucks donkey balls

Sometime ago I started to get battery issues on my laptop using windows. Even with 100% charge it would soon display 0% when unplugged.

A few months back I switched to linux on my laptop and on my desk station. And to my surprise, battery issues dissapeared while using linux (manjaro i3). Anybody had that same problem?

Anyway I dual boot win 10 and linux just in case I'd need windows, and this week I noticed my root parition didn't have any space left.

For the next few hours I'm in a car so I thought hey great time to reinstall linux with a bigger root partition. I already had reinstalled windows, and with all the bloat removed, I could shrink my windows partition to make more space for linux.

Now all I need to do is prepare a usb stick with the manjaro iso. I could do that in linux, but since reinstalling windows killed my grub bootloader I couldn't boot up manjaro.

Right, so in windows I go and want to create this bootable EFI usb stick from the manjaro iso. Now the battery issue kicks in again, stating 0%. But with luck, the usb creation finished without my machine dying. Now I just need to restart my laptop and boot from the usb and .... Crap. my Laptop doesn't boot up anymore
-_-

Now i need to wait for a plug to be able to power it up again. Once I boot from the usb I'm sure I could use the laptop some more hours until the battery is actually dead. Fuck windows

Okay, THAT was trippy.

Soo.. I slowly srart feeling uncomfortable. It's that feeling when you want to move your body to make it go away. Stretch an arm, move a leg or smth... Alright, no biggie - let's move something. But then my focus is overwhelmed by darkness. Hmm... I must be asleep. There's some soothing humming noise in the background. And that feeling's still there. Aaaahh, the numbness is now going away - I must've moved smth! Good job! Drowning back into sleep now. It's ssooo ssweet...
*outage*

*notions of awareness*
huh? What's that? Oh, right, I need to move again. That humming sound is so relaxing.. I'll move smth to change that status quo. There, much better now. Let's keep the eyes closed and drift back to sleep. It's so dark though...
*outage*

*notions of awareness*
ahh, that feeling again. Come on, I've moved like 4 times already. Well alright, alright, it's better to move that open my eyes or roll over.
Wait...
I can't roll over.
I can't even move my hands. Fuck, must be that sleep paralysis kicking in again. No biggie, it'll wear off if I stay aware long enoug........
*outage*

*...?...*
...nough. What? Did I nod off? That's weird. Meeh, nvm. Why is it so dark though... Okay, let's try to open the eyes. *attempts going on for ~a minute*. No luck. That humming sound, so soothing...
I feel some clothing on my - must be the blanket. So warm.. Nice.I'm feeling - prolly the paralysis is wearing off! Good. A few more minutes and I'll be free to roll over

let's try the eyes once again. Hhhrhrhhh! Nope, not working. Wait, what's that? I turned my body! But somehow...Weirdly. Too easy. There, I did it again! Why is it so easy and I am still feeling paralysed...? Wtf is going on...?

That humming. What IS it..?

Wait! My eyes opened! It's pitch dark in here. Why...? Usually there's at least *some* light in the room. Am I still asleep? Naah, that's not it.. I'm turning my body again. Why did I do that? Wtf is happening?

That humming sound is getting louder and louder, taking all of my attention now.
What is it I'm feeling with my feet? It's hard. And cold.

Wait... AM I STANDING??? What the fuck?!?

Why am i standing??? And that sound - that's... That's... A vent fan in my bathroom!!! Am I standing asleep in my bathroom...? In the middle of the night...? Facing the mirror...? With the lights off....?

WHAT THE FUCK DID JUST HAPPEN?!?!?
HOW THE FUCK DID I GET THERE?!?!?
How long have I been here...?

I HAVE QUESTIONS!!

Fuck it, I'm tired. Time to go to bed. It'll be one mindfuck of a storry tomorrow though...

I hate this feeling.

Changing stuff with a greamripers scythe around my neck called doubt because the available data isn't too convincing.

Then having to go big or nothing as it is an ecosystem change (e.g. changing the cipher suites of TLS, changing protocol - e.g. HTTP 1.1 to 2) so it needs to be consistent as otherwise fun stuff could happen (fun as in the grim reaper cuts off my neck except a few centimeters and plays "now your head is off, now your head is on" ).

To top it off - just few seconds after the change has happened people coming up in the support channel.

My hands are - mysteriously - not sweaty then. Rather cold.

Lil prayer to the heavens and getting the whiskey bottle...

Opening an ongoing discussion in support channel....

And they're discussing whether the page needs to have an additional arrow for going back to the last page or if the default page navigation is enough.

Constantly using @all so everyone gets pissed off due to being pinged every few seconds in a channel that was meant for emergency support.

Now my hands go from a dark red to a bright red, my nostrils flare out, my adrenaline goes through the roof and I literally wanna murder people....

Those days.

I hate those days.

And I hate the timing of some people...

Like they're deliberately fucking with me without knowing it, like the universe told them explicitly to do so just to fuck with me.

*gooozfraba*

And of course, everything else is fine and running smooth like butter, except that said discussion now goes on in a total flamewar so I get even more pings.

Sucks to be in management.

You have way to many rooms where people can annoy you.

To top it off - after being grumpy and pissed and angry for people just annoying the fuck out of me, I have to mediate.

Yeah. Cause the usual person is on vacancy.

*slowly strangling the whiskey bottle like homer does with bart*

Turns out after 15 mins listening to enraged UX designer vs Frontend Team Lead that UX designer meant a completely different thing - uploaded wrong screenshot, whole discussion was unnecessary.

*Nah. Fuck it. Drinking whiskey*

Reminding everyone what the fucking frigging support channel is meant for and that penis fights aka who got the longest schlong don't belong there....

"Yeah it was a mistake, but it wasn't so bad"
...

You pinged fucking 32 people like it was the end of the world, you ignorant fucktwads.

For over 5 mins.

For fucking frigging nothing except your tiny dicks and shitty egos.

*Second round of whiskey*

Back to work after a wasted half hour.

What says monitoring?

Ah. Everything's working.

At least luck hasn't failed me.

Good server. Brave server.

Then I hear this lil voice in my head: no.

The servers know your personality.

They're afraid. Terrified.

Somehow that thought makes me giggle always...

Childish? Maybe. But it helps on those days.... Funnily enough, remaining 3 hours noone said anything in any chat channel.

"I wonder why, I wonder how...."... *hum*

So I created a desktop app a couple of months ago that relies on IG API. Everything was working perfectly. QA passed and everything was ready for rolling out. Took a
vacation last week, when I came back yesterday it was broken. My backup didn't tried checking what was wrong btw. Turned out IG got strict with its apps on June 1 (sandbox). He waited for me and didn't even bother to try to fix it.

Oh, app will be launched today. Good luck PMs and fuck my backup.

Working with dildos-for-brain people! I asked how to achieve something and if I got an answer it stated: never saw something like that implemented before (It really means that people here just copy/paste shit and use iterative development method until they nab the solution)!!!

Really? I just asked to have nested XML structure, it's been around since early 90'!

I have new weekend project - polish my CV and get the fuck out of here. When it feels like you are smartest in the room and for every question for help people just throw you random answers not related to question at all it is not worth staying there.

Also using outdated XML server CMS that ceased its support, documentation is shoddy and internet never heard of it - only relevant google search leads to the CMS website. Good luck! Good fucking luck!

This shit went overboard so many times and I decided that this is the last time. I have 2 more fucks to give and those are for me!

I hate systemic problems.

I hate that a stable housing situation and perfect weather and luck are required to work.

I hate that malcontents and malicious people fucked people out of their jobs.

I hate rolling and cancerous financial ruin coming from scammers ponzi schemes and corrupt people who only care about lining their own pockets.

I hate that being middle class is a nightmare of anxiety because nothing is guaranteed.

I hate the lack of services to quickly without stupid catches get a person on their feet.

I hate the retarded take on things these fuckers created to make these problems worse.

I hate hardcore drug addicts and pushers fucking up benefits and services for honest people.

I hate whores stealing houses apartments and jobs by selling their asses and children to old fucked up perverted diseased scum.

I hate schedules that make it hard to get places.

People who drive everywhere because public transportation sucks.

Public transportation sucking because people suck up oil and destroy car after car

Basic housing not being available so people can be safe at night and find jobs.

I hate wars that suck money out of my country

I hate parents that fuck up the next generation by abusing their children

I hate the parents who fucked up the current generation making this time period miserable

I hate people not facing facts about basic necessities

I hate decaying buildings that cost more to repair because no one maintains them

I hate sprawling shit houses that could be combined into towers

And most of all

I hate people taking extreme liberties in destroying my own telling me I have to be careful what I say and I hate fucking liars

Bruh, tbh, this is kind of going to be a sad rant.

tl;dr: LEETCODE THE FUCK UP AND GET INTO FANG.

For all the people out there, just stop fucking around with small companies/startups early in your career. Leetcode up and get into FANG. Once you have that validation, these startups will be much easier to get into.
I have gone through this first hand.

After amazing on-sites with multiple startups, where everyone said that I'm the kind of person they're looking for (background wise: CS grad, startup experience, 2+ YOE as a fullstack Dev using Java, py, js and all the famous frameworks you could name), they rejected me.

Heck, a company flew me out to SF from Seattle where I think I had had my best on-site ever. They rejected me today. The sad part is that I actually for once really believed in the mission of the company.

At this point, I have wasted so much time reading about the xyz startup that's about to disrupt pqr industry (to prepare for behavioral/cultural interview), practiced for such shitty interviews like pair programming etc., worked on numerous take home projects (completing all those "bonus" parts) and deploying it and spending money out of my own pocket for that.

I'M JUST FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT.

I have given mock interviews with ex bosses and friends and they told me that I'm good. Heck, I even solved a LC medium in 20 minutes (optimal solution) but still got rejected.

I'm kind of writing this for myself and people who are on the same boat as I am:
Get into FANG and then think about other shit. STOP looking for smaller companies and being scared of getting your ass kicked by a Leetcode interview. Any company who would not take LC interviews will prefer someone from FANG unless you're lucky as fuck. You don't want your career to be based on luck, man. That shit's not gonna take you anywhere.

What the fuck, Android? My phone was locked, and the last open app was Instagram brcause I was chatting with my friend. So I try to unlock the phone with fingerprint, as I always do. The phone unlocks (at least it looked like it) and I get straight ot my IG chat, but at the same time an error message appears on the top of the screen saying that it failed to unlock the phone. And sure enough when I check my navi bar, the recent apps button is missing, indicating that the phone is still in a locked state. So after a failed unlock, someone with enough luck can get full access to my instagram chats and whatever else the foreground app is??? What the actual fuck?

More of a moaning than ranting.

I feel like I care a bit too much.

I'm not a great programmer - I may be decent, but nothing more. I know Java and C# enough to write production code that works but as I gather more experience it's getting more and more annoying that I have no one to teach me in work. All I know is what I have learned by myself, from courses online, books and just writing code.

And what drives me crazy is how I'm being pushed from one project and technology to another! It's been a week since I've returned from my exams and I've already worked in C# (ASP.Net Core, MS Office AddIn, WPF, .Net console app), Java (Spring, some legacy project with JBoss, Android) and to top it all, I had to come back to the worst project I've ever been in, where I'm implementing some third party system to county administration, just to finish it off.

I'm happy to gather experience - invaluable with only two years of real, production experience, but I can't focus on one thing because I'm immediately forced to work on another. For some reason I'm seen as Jack-of-all-trades but I really don't feel like that. It makes me anxious as fuck. Not to mention that my personal development as a Dev is held off because of working all alone with no supervisor.

Post Scriptum
Fuck my boss. He won't let me refractor our biggest project yet (console, C#) because "he can listen to my moaning all day but when clients start complaining he has to act fast". Yeah, right. Wish me luck with fixing sluggish performance without reworking base of the app.

Long story short:

My system need to talk with a 3rd party PoS API. The provided doc is pretty useless and with few errors.. nonetheless I came to finish the 99% of the job.

I was stuckd on the 1%, one frickin function.

Everytime I would call the endpoint I would receive...NOTHING. Just a 200.

I've spent like 5 hours trying everything, even sending wrong params...nothing...
Always 200 and nothing else.

Apparently, for an entire nation and the IT Company behind them, is ok to have A PAYMENT API TO RETURN VOID AND A 200 NO MATTER WHAT.

I got the luck/unluck that the main developer of such piece of art came in the office and I've almost throw him out the window (we are at 26th floor).

FUCK OFF DUDE. YOU AND ALL THE OTHERS THAT DO LIKE YOU DO.

P.S. in this days I'll try to write the full story, but it's hard without giving many details...small anticipation: 1.5 months of work and nothing but red bull and coffee...

I am the responsible for the atlassian Suite at work, as I maintain the systems, set them up, and stuff.

One day, our crowd (the authentication and authorization application) just went crazy. At like lunch time it could not connect to the AD anymore. No reasons. Throwing XSRF errors (cross site scripting), because http would connect to https. "won't do it, fuck you" it told me. Out of the blue. Noone changed anything. And yea, seriously. Noone did.
It just refused to connect (as connecting to AD is connecting yourself with you own api. And refusing yourself talking to yourself). It runs behind a proxy. Therefore http/https. Well, this worked for years. But out of sudden not anymore.

Yea. Fuck you.

It was reported some hours later, at like 3pm, as people could not login to the applications using crowd as authentication and authorization server.

Tried to debug the system, where nothing was did, to make it work. At best time to fail.

First workaround: if you are logged into one of the other applications of atlassian, just refresh the site, so your SSO token gets a refresh and you are signed on again.

Then I searched more and more. And more.
But nothing worked, nothing helped.

So I addressed an emergency maintenance, take down the whole Suite, restart crowd, to apply some changes to it's settings, not knowing what happening then, because all connections of SSO will then be released. Sent out the mail like 30 minutes beforehands.

While waiting for the window, I just typed my credentials... And redid, and redid, so to type and being bored.
Three minutes before the window...

It just worked again.

Well. Wtf. Serioudl
Just came back.

No Intrusion, no changes at all. Just came back, as nothing has happened.

Kind of best part of this story... A headhunter messaged me on my way home to offer me a job as an Atlassian Suite SysAdmin for a company, at kinda the double of my salary.

At first I was thinking to go there, and when someone then asked me sth about Atlassian just start to laugh and then leave still laughing...

But then I very nicely respond that I dont want to cry at work. And wished him best luck.

I am doing some bad upgrades now on our Suite. Very painful.
And I looked into the start scripts. Some Look like the untalented intern tells another one to write scripts. Seriously wtf.

Today I followed the guide to Update a confluence and change database to Postgres. Didnt work, Postgres error.
Try it again, jquery won't load. Next try, tomcat not starting anymore. Did same thing. Every fucking time.

Yea. Maintenance window to get a nice new export soon. Will only take an hour.

To switch database in confluence, you need to set it up very fresh. And then Import your export.
Export takes an hour at our system.
Importing maybe the same time. Hope it will work (hint: Nope).

Oh, can be nice also. Just tell the Bitbucket to migrate databases, there is a fucking setting for it. Enter new database, ready, go, finished.

At least they don't raise costs very much every kinda year.
Oh sorry, yes, they do.

*me writing my sweet code like nothing bad could happend*

Xcode: bum! Compiling error
Me: what the...
*compile again
Xcode: yeah right. Bam! Error
*clean, etc. compile again
Xcode: yeah, try your luck looser
Me: ok, let's google it. First stack overflow answer: just change the simulator and should work correctly.

And of course it worked. And that's how it works all day.

Fuck you Xcode! Fuck you Apple!

Was having problems on a VPN where my URL was constantly redirecting to https, after https was disabled, spent ages reconfiguring nginx, removing and adding nginx again with no luck. Eventually said fuck it, backed up everything of importance, destroyed the droplet and spun up a new one. Installed nginx and redone the DNS for the domain only for the same thing to happen. It was at that moment I discovered it was chrome caching the HSTS domain. I now have a long night ahead of me configuring the new droplet and restoring the backup data.

The original idea of the starter lines goes to someone here like over a year ago or something. Found this piece while cleaning my desk and thought you would appreciate it.

Rubber duck
What the fuck
Why didn't you tell
This god awful smell
Of this spaghetti code

I guess you reap
What you sow
Rubber duck
What the fuck
I'm out of luck

I had a discussion with my colleagues about my bachelor thesis.

Together we created within the last 18 month a REST-API where we use LDAP/LMDB as database (tree structured storage). Of course our data is relational and of course we have a high redundancy there. It's a 170 call API and I highly doubt that it's actually conforming REST.
Ensuring DB integrity is done in the backend and coding style there is "If we change it at one place, let's make sure to also change it everywhere else", so you get a good impression how much of spaghetti code we have there.

Now I proposed to code a solution in my bachelor thesis where we use a relational database (we even have an administrated Oracle DB with high availability) and have a write-only layer to also store the data in LDAP but my colleagues said that "it would add too much complexity to the system".
Instead I should write the relational layer myself and fetch the data somehow from the existing LDAP tree.

What the actual fuck, spaghetti code is what makes the system really unnecessarily complex so that no one will understand that code in 2 years.

Congratulations, you just created legacy code that went into production in 2018 while not accepting the opportunity to let that legacy code get eliminated.
Now good luck with running and maintaining that system and it's inconsistencies.

I am kinda feel broken these days :( Not even have energy to do anything... I have experience of 6 years but feeling like nothing gonna happen. Learning any tech will be waste of time.. Just wants to run away from my life and spent some time to travel but then who is gonna take care of my bills :(

Fuck this coding shit.. I am feeling like fresher again :( except this time I can't compromise with my salary . I wish me luck for upcoming year 2023

I was trying to set up my own "cloud" for iot experiments. I planned to use Intel Edison with mqtt broker (using mosca) and a node js app for providing API for mobiles and browser. And also to do other book keeping.

I spent the half day trying figure how to expose these servers to internet.

I configured ddns in noip.com and ddns settings configured to it in my router.
Port forwarded to the local server services I needed.

And then tested. Worked perfectly on any device in my router connected network. Tested on mobile network. Bam! It fucking doesn't work.

Then connected another router.
Double port forwarded. Again worked perfectly on router network. And failed on mobile.
Tested if ddns is right. Did nslookup it was fine as fuck.
Then disabled port forwarding. Did dmz. Nope. Nadda. No luck.

Then scratched my head so hard that I lost more already losing hairs.

Then remembered about router hardware firewall. Disabled it.
Tested
And there it didn't work.
My dreams shattered like a fucking deer hit by car on highway.
Didn't work.
Then I see the IP pointing to my router in nslookup. Its 172.20.xx.xx. Its a fucking private IP.

My Asshole ISP is running another private network behind firewall. Which I fucking can't port forward
Now I think how much of a noob and idiot I am. Fuck this shit. Fuck all of these shit.
I am going for SaaS option for mqtt broker.
(Or help me?)
Once again.
Asshole ISP.
Fuck your firewall.
(PS: I had test the next day. FML)

**18 fuckin hours with full concentration on this Friday starting from 9:30 AM**

I'd developed a big feature for this release and it was being tested by QA guys.

There was this fuckin QA who raised a bug on Friday morning saying that one of the work flow is not working as expected. I debugged it in various scenarios including the one suggested by that dick head but I couldn't reproduce it.

On stating that, QA got pissed and told me that I've not developed it correctly. *Yeah fuck head now you are telling me*

My lead asked me to make some changes in the flow and then check. Did that but no luck.

Finally at 3AM on Saturday, this fuckin nut job QA mails me saying that he was giving in WRONG Inputs 😡

Yeah. It was that bad!

!dev

Fuck, I hate moving. All the tearing down and subsequent assembly takes sooo bloody long. And you have to be extra careful not to destroy all your (no so) cheap IKEA furniture when taking off the screws and nails. ~Lê stupid me didn't think he'd have to disassemble this stuff, so I actually used nails. D'oh. So now I have some splintered wood. Congrats, you cockwomble. Good luck repairing that.
I'll use screws (torx head, of course) when reassembling though, not making the same mistake again.

Oh, and then there's all the dust and cobwebs and fucking spiders living under the furniture, because I can't tilt my wardrobe to vacuum underneath it. Just. Fucking. Lovely.

On the upside, I get to do an early spring cleaning on all my accumulated trash. New apartment is gonna be so clean and minimal, you'd mistake it for a monastic meditation room. With a pair of monitors and my beautiful desktop to the side. Meditation is lovely, but I also pray to the silicon and transistor gods. Need mah tech shrine.

after moving back to my home country, buying an apartment and after my career started to head to nowhere because there is nothing to code for me in work, just manager stuff, I am returning to coding after work to get back into shape, practice more, learn new stuff (and the old stuff)

wanted to create a small webapp with laravel/vue, holy fucking shit how hard it is (for me) to setup your env

install composer -> command php not found
o.O im pretty sure i had php on this machine HOW THE FUCK WOULD I HAVE ALL THESE PROJECTS HERE THEN

install php8.1 -> no such package
-.-

upgraded to ubuntu 22.04, install php8.1, composer
create new laravel project -> 3 errors, missing laravel/pint, phpunit
* visible confusion * i told you to create a project, if you need it, why didn't you... oh, wait

composer install -> same
well, * looks left, looks right * --ignore-platform-reqs

but still getting the chills from a new project, now I go sleep and tomorrow I start my journey to get back to business, wish me luck

So for one of my uni courses we're writing arm assembly. That's pretty cool. What's not cool is the shit textbook written by the instructor, the asshat elitists on every single fucking help thread, and the fucking garbage documentation.

But hey, maybe I'm doing something wrong. I mean, after all, you should need to spend 5+ hours to discover where the fuck you should place a label for a god damn binary constant. Oh, and once you've finally got code that'll link, good fuckin luck getting it to load the address of that constant in a register.

At least I have a good explanation on why those guys on the forums are such fucking dicks: Stockholm Syndrome.

Just started playing stardew valley, and the opening scene strikingly represents my life. Just like the main character, I'm going out into my own metaphorical country and blazing my own path, away from my bosses, who knows what will happen, but if anything goes wrong I have my stocks and a good background, wish me luck

Fuck NVM, I wish, my life is too important, fuck.

What should I do, I have a central function that is not documentated and no test-cases are written for it. I have no clue what the method should really do, I know that it works in 99.9% of all cases otherwise we had much more bugs. Now there is one Unit-Test that reports an issue. I tracked it down to this method, no one touched the method nor the unit-test.
My logical thinking says that there is one statement missing, but it could also fuck up another part of the code... (This project has a bad testing coverage :'( )

What would you do?

- copy paste the method for this special case (I would hate me so much for breaking DRY)
- inheritance?! (Would make it more complex and then it would be still untested / undocumented)
- YOLO changing oO?! (hope for luck, just joking)

P.s it's an edge case unit test, the client / customer probably wouldn't realised it if it happens

No one gives a shit about the fact i have computer science degree. No employer has asked me. Nobody cares. I can't get hired anywhere and i was promised to surely find a job if i have a degree. 6 years of nerve wrecking of my fucking life for a degree wasted in fire. I was SCAMMED. "Software engineering" universities are a fucking SCAM. SCAMMMMM. Fuck you. I'll make my own course and scam desperate people the same way universities do it. The same way andrew tate does it. Fuck you.

In life i learned that you will be successful ONLY IF:
- you have luck
- you're a wealthy millionaire
- you have connections

And you will FAIL IF:
- you try to do good and be fair

Fuck you

Some really motivated guy.

He apparently wants to monitore his opensource application on his spare time.
His application is likely to have no users though.
But well, that guy looks like kinda montivated.

For professional purpose, guy already did monitore with newrelic.
Seems like he was not satisfied and switched to datadog 3 years ago.
But liking digging dirt, he migrated to self hosted telegraf/influx/grafana (which he likes to about)

Today that guy is not in his company but on his potatoe machine in the cloud. So he wants to be minimalistic, datadog should do.

Now you got it, random ff*** is me, on a weekend, a shinny saturday for that matter.
Actually now it is night.

Now let's start the fight.

I have datadog scripts!
But datadog be sneaky as well. datadog upgraded to v6 8=)
-> scripts ain't working. outdated.

I check the logs. Too bad!
-> datadog removed dogstatsD.log in v6!

Well I have nothing to do in my life it is too cold outside as they say. I read the (sluggy) datadoc and tries some shell command (given in doc) to upload some events to dogstatsd (via udp).
-> Nothing happens, neither in local nor in remote.

ok maybe command not up to date, so let me try some official library. datadog from python. Feels like a nice try!
-> only available for python >= 3.5. 3.4 on my good ol' jessie. Upgrading os for datadog not acceptable.

Maybe dogstatsD not started... doc says it is by default, but well, not the first time doc is wrong... I put datadog as log verbose. Guess what: as per standard: shitload of error.

Digging... kubexx, docker and whatsoever apparently preventing collector to do its normal stuff
np, I am gonna check that on github! Goog, people have the same errors. They seem to fix it by trying some settings, with. or without luck
-> I am not that warrior to check every stuff

Ok, let's stop the datadog events, it works. It does not anymore. You know that sentence. We all know it.

Still not enough!

How about testing that uber super nice feature of v6. The logs. After all I want to make events out of my applicative logs.
How about reading the log again. Configure the yaml log as they say. Done. Make some pattern. Read the best practive. Done. Configures the yaml. Done. Now testing.
-> remote datadog interface be like: no logs for you dude you need to pay

ff***f*f*f

Fuck datadog, fuck that v6 version, good old tail -Fxx | someaggreate.js|sendmail will do...

I hate how I have battery issues with every smartphone/tablet I buy. They do well for 1 week and then I have to buy an additional charger for work because after 5 hours of only lying there it only has 50% which wouldnt be sufficient for 30 minutes car drive (Maps, Spotify, Bluetooth, GPS and mobile data)... Fml. I am tired of batteries. My next phone is going to be a huawei mate 10. Maybe I habe more luck with this one. I dont believe im Samsung anymore.

And anyway why the fuck do they introduce better CPUs more sensors etc whilst Keeping the battery capacity the same.. Instead they introduce fast charge etc. Another reason for me to go away from samsung is the fact they bloat each firmware up, my battery got worst after each system update (even the security ones) and also doing 14 factory resets didnt work. Support is shit. They also integrated Clean Master into the system and an "Antivirus Protection"... Can't get worst.

samsungrant@devrant.com # > submit && exit