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*Stages of debugging*
1. That can't happen.
2. That doesn't happen on my machine
3. That shouldn't happen.
4. Why does that happen?
5. Oh, I see.
6. How did that ever work?4 -
Six stages of debugging:
1. That can't happen?
2. That doesn't happen on my machine?
3. That shouldn't happen?
4. Why does that happen?
5. OH, I SEE!
6. How did that ever work?1 -
The six stages of debugging:
* That can’t happen.
* That doesn’t happen on my machine.
* That shouldn’t happen.
* Why does that happen?
* Oh, I see.
* How did that ever work? -
So I just had an interview a couple weeks ago at one of the largest employers of software engineers in the country. After multiple stages of group interviews it came to the 2 on 1 individual interview with some project leads (picture devs using a MacBook with Github stickers - lads). Among the questions they asked me we both had a laugh at 2 of them:
Q: Explain how deadlocks work?
A: Hire me and I will explain how they work.
Q: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
A: Celebrating 22s 22m 22h 22/12/2022.
Strangely enough they hired me 😎1 -
The 4 stages of collaboration:
- Stage1:
Hey dude, I setup some online docs and left some instructions / discussion points in slack, but you haven't been logged in. Can you login and have a look when you get a chance?
- Stage 2:
Oh Hey, did you ever get a chance to have a look at those docs / discussion points?
- Stage 3:
Hey, look this is due by close of business tomorrow, can you take spend an hour on it before you leave?
- Stage 4:
*loads shotgun* HEY YOU! ... sit here, login to that ..... STOP CRYING AND HURRY UP ..... see that right there? thats missing your input, you have 15 minutes left ... GO!
I'm fast approaching stage 4 and loading my efficiency shotgun as we speak.6 -
Saw this on LinkedIn about architecture but it's also accurate for developers, you only have to read it from back to front.
Source: http://archdaily.com/876083/...
5 -
After over 1.5 month long recruitment and 4 stages (3 technical and one with HR) they finally said it was last stage and they will write to me with their decision soon. I really want to get this job. It would be great step in my career and I could learn so much more compared to the company I'm stuck in right now. Actually working with new and interesting technologies! Can you imagine?
Hold your fingers crossed for me guys.9 -
A few months ago I was working on a (totally underpaid project) where my friend and I had to basically rewrite the entire program our client was using.
So we started planning and wrote all sorts of documentation to show the client our ideas for the new flow of the program, the new structure of the GUI and a few more details of what would the inner workings of the new app. He seemed to like all those ideas and gave us the green light to go through with the project and start coding.
We spent a couple of months coding, redoing the front end from scratch (with a different framework even, so I couldn't reuse any code from the old version) and completely redesigning the back end so it would be better, faster, more scalable etc etc etc. During this process, we obviously showed the progress of the app to our client, explaining everything we had been doing, and he seemed to like every new version we showed him.
When we were in one of the last stages in development (basically sending versions of the app to the client for evaluation), the guy suddenly changed his mind. After agreeing on everything we had been showing him over the last months, he sent an email saying:
"...the new system makes the app too complicated. I want this program to be as simple to use as possible; so we should revert the "Policy" system to essentially what it was in the last major version. The only change I want to make is [...] and everything else is essentially the same as the last Policy system."
So basically he wanted us to FUCKING UNDO EVERYTHING WE HAD DONE AND REVERT THE FUCKING PROGRAM TO THE FUCKING VERSION HE HAD BEFORE HIRING US!!!! WHAT THE FUCK????
YOU WANTED US TO CHANGE YOUR APP AND THEN YOU SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER 3 FUCKING MONTHS WHEN THE PROCESS IS DONE???
GO FIND A SWORDFISH TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, IM NOT WORKING FOR YOU ANYMORE
God, it feels good to let that out.5 -
The code for devrant-bot is officially live on GitHub, please note this is still in the early stages of development.
https://github.com/nblackburn/...
There will also be a hosted version available in the coming days along with guidance on how you can get involved.
Thanks for all of your support, this is our project and everyone is welcome to contribute.
8 -
So for the past 10 work days I've had my exams (study is software development). I already know that i passed 3 out of 4 stages but I'll get the results of my 4th (aka if i passed the exams) tomorrow. I'm so fucking nervous.4
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The 5 stages of project management:
1 - the Mission:
Receive a project
2 - the Vision:
Over confidence and optimistic time estimation. Tell people how quick you can finish it.
3 - the Climax:
Adding unnecessary features. Try to be innovative. Think different. Feeling like a Rockstar.
4 - the Bargain:
Does not aware deadline is not far away. Reverse all unnecessary or impractical moomshot features. A bit stressed
5 - the Embarrassment:
Unpredicted obstacles or incidents. Late delivery or fail. Feel like a loser.1 -
4 stages of using VIM:
1. Survive
2. Fell Comfortable
3. Feel Better, Stronger, Faster
4. Use Super-powers of VIM6 -
Some fun facts :
☻ Programmers spend approximately 30% of the time surfing the source code 😁
☻ Progress in programming can be classified into 4 stages:
(a). Complex Programming
(b). Making Progress
(c). Slow Progress
(d). Stuck
☻ Programmers have a tendency to report their problems incompletely
☻ The main error messages, execution times and runtime compilation errors and the average time to solve them
☻ The software maintenance consumes more than 50% of the effort
☻ Ctrl C, Ctrl V, and Ctrl-Z have saved more lives than Batman tbh😇3 -
Am I the only one who can't cheat on my design/development stages? For example, if I am doing a favor for someone, I will do it my way even when I'm short on time. I simply can't just "take it from the internet and incorporate it into my project".
I just feel for comfort when it's mine. (no Im not referring to reusing code. Clarification in comments)3 -
Waterfall Project Stages:
Requirements, Analysis, Design, Coding, Testing, Operations
When you promote project managers to program managers and tell them to switch to Agile, you get the Agilefall project stages:
Best guess, Timeline, User stories, Execution, Blame the devs when the project plan trends late.
I want to beat them with a copy of the PMBOK wrapped in lead.3 -
Hey, I am new here and I am only in the early stages of learning how to code, but I already like devRant a lot. This is a cool communty.
If anyone wants to know, I am learning Java.8 -
Managers at my jobs for the most part leave me be. Though I often have no clue whether I'm doing OK. I guess no news is good news right?
My worst experience isn't that bad. At one place, I was the only tester working on things coming from 20-30 devs. After about a year+, the company finally hired more testers, but it was still only 3 of us.
We were in the final stages of releasing a build to prod. It was going smoothly, or so we thought. At the last minute, I found a buried bug that was a showstopper.
A lot of hatred on me that day, that once it was fixed, and the release was finally deployed, I just shut off my laptop and left. I took all the blame because I was the one who found it rather than blaming the team as a whole for not finding it earlier. Oh well. Stuff happens.
Let's knock on wood that I don't run into worse higher up stories. -
A manager in the area, in an effort to “encourage” teams to meet their externally generated commitments before imposing mandatory extended hours, posted a chart showing Mt. Everest with weekly goals as stages up the mountain. First team to the top wins a $20 gift card. Looks just like this picture. Results will probably be similar.
4 -
"It's very unfortunate that someone has to sit 10 hours a day on a computer screen but that's what we are paying for."
Working with an EU client.
Task is in stages beginning from assessment of an 9 year old Salesforce instance, cleanup and then transition to lightning.
The deliverabale in the first stage is excel sheet - objects(2400+), fields, apps, packages, profiles(110k), users, perm sets, apex classes, triggers, pages, s-controls and insert each and everything that a Salesforce instance could have.
Each and every data needs to be, analyzed and documented with our recommendations before being sent over. (Finding duplicates in 110k profiles??)
Oh, did I tell you, this was to be done four weeks? Weekend goes to hell.
That's when this beautiful motivational line comes up from the bridge, "It's very unfortunate that someone has to sit 10 hours a day on a computer screen but that's what we are paying for."
Fortunately(un?), that part of project is done and over with.
Now comes the clean up, identify packages not being used, remove them, qa and then push for deployment.
Mind you, this project is to be 2 weeks long. Its Friday of the first week today. And I am still working weekends.
Can I say, FML?7 -
I am a junior web developer, currently working in my first job for a small company, I was hired because I have an interest in meteor and modern web dev.
When I say small I mean I am the only full time js dev.
So the project we are working (my first ever professional project from start to finish) is a travel booking web app (being a little vague, for the sake of privacy). I am the lead developer, as a new programmer of a project that is far from trivial. There are no other javascript devs in office, no sort of code review. We have an outsourced dev but as I got in a flow with one dev my boss supposedly told him to do it part time (without discussing with me), but haven't heard anything from him, so assuming he's just disappeared (probably annoyed at being treated like a commodity).
Boss has set up the stages, and forces me to move on to the next stage before that stage has been finished. I will have to go back over the whole thing to finish things off.
He will only hire cheap juniors, one front end guy with barely any experience is styling the site.
He is used to churning out WordPress and Magento sites.
Wish I had a senior I could learn off.
I want to stick at this project and see it through, but i can only see it ending in a train wreck.
At the same time I want out, I want to work under a better team with senior programmers and better code review.
I just have to do my best and see how it goes I guess6 -
I put the same song in a forever loop.
There are 3 stages each increasingly stronger! :
Level one: get lucky - daft punk
Level two: whiskey in a jar - Metallica cover
Level three: gangnam style - psy
I close all im, email and whatnot and code till exhaustion.
I normally listen to metal and classical music BTW.
It works2 -
After several days of going through all stages of grief, and also several brickings, I have finally successfully rooted my Kindle Fire HD 6 and installed Cyanogenmod.
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Alright so I’m in the final stages of my companies website. I want advice from you all. Instead of ads for extra revenue, I’m asking you all personally; How would you feel if a website (yes, like what the famous pirating company was doing) used your computers processing power to mine while the website was open? There wouldn’t be any annoying ads and I could simply hide it in an iframe?
Negative and positive feedback please.17 -
!rant
I would like to present you the story that I tell everyone who is afraid of expectations, stressed to impress interviewers etc. Story about how I got my first job.
A little of backstory:
I always was good with computers, not like expert, but good. Of course parents were against giving me admin rights, so I just played games or such. When time came to choose my path throgh life, I've chosen to go medicine-related way, and chosen high school with such profile. I did my exams terribly, cause I never cared about marks, so I applied to uni for Information and Communication Technology course. I've learned basics of coding there, much stuff I don't really need right now, but in the end it was the best choice I've made.
With that way too long prologue...
I had to do internship for my uni and decided to try and find some year earlier. There was a lecture about multiplatform coding held by company my uni had partnership with. I've filled a questionare and few weeks later they invited me for assessment - event where they will choose who is good enough.
Of course I didn't believe in my chances to win an internship (1st place got full time job). There were 3 stages:
- solo coding (C/C++ own implementation of list)
- group designing (UML and presentation according to specification)
- interview (talking about code from stage 1, some questions, theory)
I failed 1st stage miserably... so I decided to don't give a shit and bravely presented our group project. A guy asked why we did not included a thing on UML, so I told him that it was not in specification - he was suprised but took it as big +. We "won" that part. When it came to interview... I was myself, cool headed, admited when I don't know things.
I thought that was it.
Few weeks later I received email - they invited me for internship.
They put me into Python project, language that noone in our trainee team knew. Told us 2/4 will be hired. At first I was not interested, wanted to finish my degree. But they convinced me. Now I'm here +2 years.
I am aware there are not many companies like that. Here, the people matters - you don't have to know everything, as long as you are getting along with others.
My tip for you though is: BE YOURSELF, NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY 🎶
And I wish us more companies like that.😉1 -
<internship>
Yesterday, was my last of Internship. It was wonderful to work with all the software engineers and the amount of stuff I learnt in this period was immense.. I would like to also give special thanks to my Manager who gave me opportunity and trusted on me. And I can't miss to mention my mentor. She helped me in solving so many problems.. in my early stages, she was my only hope to start things working.. she taught me not only how to program, but also how to program effectively. And yes, the smartest thing I did in my internship was introducing devrant to my mentor.. she liked it a lot, and her posts gets so many ++ compared to mine.. (m so jealous, 😝😜😓😂)
</internship>2 -
Drove past the offices of a company that I am in the final stages of completing a website for. The sign on the building says To Let. I've been paid just under half up front, i have a solid contract but I'm fucked if they've vanished. I'll have to get to the bottom of this. FML1
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"What in the name of hell? Why? No.. absolutely not. Jeeeesus. Holy cow!! Haha.. that's funny. No friggin way! Oh that makes sense..wait, that makes no sense. Screw it I give up."
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So my mum is currently in the final stages of PhD in physiology and I warned her about WannaCry (she uses windows 10 laptop)
So now its my fucking fault and I have to copy all her 900GB files to my poor 1TB Linux laptop and she wouldn't even bother copying them to the family desktop (2TB) which no one uses and has no Internet access whatsoever. Like WTF!?!?!?!??!12 -
JavaScript is new the PHP.
Reading a stackoverflow question about async functions and await-usage, and lot of well-intended answers show no understanding of the concept. Some fail to understand that the scope is about promises. They don't know that, yes, *every* async function *always* returns a Promise and that within an async function it's synctically the same to do either `return x` or `Promise.resolve(x)` or `return new Promise((resolve) => {resolve(x)}), and they fail to realize what await does or doesn't do and are oblivious about how awaiting at certain stages can have huge performance impact when compared to either Promise.all or Bluebird.map.
Grasping promises is hard in the beginning, I get that. But please don't share your lack of understanding as fact. -
There are two stages in programming.
The first is when everything goes smooth as heck, and you're a god.
The second is when everything goes to shit, and you don't understand anything.2 -
The six stages of debugging:
1. That can't happen.
2. That doesn't happen on my machine.
3. That shouldn't happen.
4. Why does that happen?
5. Oh, I see.
6. How did that ever work?1 -
Why does it take 3 interview stages to get a 3-month internship...
That's ignoring the personalised CV, resume and cover letter for each one as well.
Can't imagine the fun of getting an actual job!!8 -
Teacher asks me to join him for a web app development.
First stages, I have to dig deep into a framework I don't know (He doesn't know it too, and I know that learning is the only way to step through)
Month goes by, began developing some mock-ups, he says he didn't like it, sends me a website made in fucking Wix. Seriously?
Fast forward another month, tonight I'm coding some stuff, he stills doesn't know how to fucking use Yii. fml4 -
Finnaly release a game and get my book to the final stages where I can start converting it to my dream game
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there are a lot of ad for web based start-up to be teams claims they have everything in place only missing a dev, what the F r they thinking without dev involved in early stages means to build a building by copy paste blueprint from Google2
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12 Stages of Software Development:
1. Analysis.
2. Development
3. Realization the whole analysis is complete bullshit and has nothing to with reality.
4. Denial about failing deadlines.
6. "Acceleration": adding more people to the project, bringing out big corner cutting machine.
7. Learning that massive amount of new features needs to be added, while the deadline is two weeks away.
8. Putting some random crap in production, riddled with horrid bugs and security flaws, to technically not miss the deadline.
9. Get the mess almost working long after the deadline has passed.
10. Maintain this steaming pile of crap for a year.
11. Start planning for full system rewrite that "Makes Everything Better".
12. Goto 12 -
I wanted to make a website downloader in Java, despite the existence of wget. So I made one. However, it's just in it's early stages. I'm open to making this took a little broader and upgrading how it downloads websites. GitHub: https://github.com/YoungCode26/...5
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Accepts placement at ** insert big Bank here ** reconsiders when:
1 - they forget to send a contract
2 - they lose your CV so they can't decide what you'll do for them.
3 - Forget to send you the email for one of the stages and you have to do everything past do.
4 - when after having to create accounts in 5 different of their systems they send you a Single Sign-On. Which doesn't work. And you spend 3 times on the phone to get it fixed.
I'm not due to even start in the next 2 months.1 -
Developers more than other groups tend to hold their operating system or programming language of choice dearly, to the point where if someone thinks poorly of the OS or Language, they take it like a personal attack. Then there are those who think poorly of people who who's a certain OS or a specific language. Combine the two and you get hurt feelings and identity crisis.
Can we all just agree that we're all in different stages of learning and that we all generally end up going the same direction for the same types of problems?
Or just have it out and kill each other over it. Will give me great rant material.3 -
When I was in school days I didnt like computers that much. I knew how to use them but thought classes were lame.
It was a couple of years ago, in the last year of my first computers-related career (here there's no computer science like in USA). It was in the initial stages of my graduation project and our teacher took a look at our database design, fixed it all. And explained:
"The better you designed your database, the easier it'll be to code the project" Explained to us the importance of database normalization and all that.
I really understood it all and discovered finally what was the thing I was studying and how to do software.
From that day, in my early 20s, I've been loving software and knew this is my thing.
Same feeling 6 years later.2 -
Feature request:
OP gets ++s for different stages of comment amount.
E.g.:
5 comments = 1++
10 comments = 2++
20 comments = 4++
40 comments = 8++
...
;)15 -
Hello Fam!
I need to begin with a project ASAP.
Reasons:
I wanna make something. I don't know what but I want to.
My skills: Python, Java, PHP (kick my ass on this), Minimal Frontend, Django, C++
All the skills are on the beginner and intermediate stages.
In college right now
Haven't done a single project
Need serious suggestions on how to begin to make myself a good CV and get satisfaction by making something..
Roast me. But do throw some light.
Thanks thanks thanks a lot ❤️❤️❤️❤️3 -
Question time, i currently have a project in beginning stages. I has a node-js back-end build with express and sequelize. My current frontend is build in twig. And is within the back-end project structure. Now i have heard that the current hype is to take those separate. What is the best approach, and what frontend should i use? (I was thinking vue as interesting thing)
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Anyone have advice for a young'un still at their first job (what factors might be worth considering in staying/leaving, possible consequences of leaving current job before contract ends, etc etc etc)?
I started doing interviews at other places just purely out of curiosity and wanting to gain practice, to evaluate how I performed to other companys' standards, but somehow managed to progress to final stages and now I'm really considering leaving but I only just started feeling part of my current company 😥4 -
Suffering from the cash flow blues.
Remote contracting roles are far and few between, and so far I’ve only found the one client, the problem is that because they’ve been burned in the past by contractors, they only operate on an order by order basis.
So we’re stuck in this perpetual cycle of issues > estimates > order > development > test > tweak > pay and repeat.
The problem is that there is always significant delay between the stages from both sides, either because they’re busy on stuff, or I’ve burnt myself out rushing to meet an estimate and having to take a bit of breathing room.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s great working in blocks of a few days to a week and then having some time to myself (and the money is nice too), but the cash flow inconsistency is super scary when you’re having to manage corporation tax, accountancy fees and a salary.
Anyone else have these issues / know good places to find remote contract work?2 -
Sonic the Hedgehog is kind of developer, which smashes bugs and goes through stages with speed of sound... But at the end, Eggman is faster than him.
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At my first job, I was in test automation. For a major new complicated feature, I was the test lead and its final stages coincided with a company trip to Israel. I got to sit side by side with its lead developer and he went over all his code and database changes with me. He kept stopping because I guess I had that deer in headlights expression and he thought he was boring me. Actually I was just in awe. He was so proud of his work on it and had every right to be. It was so cool of him to take an hour or two and break it down for me like that.
He told me he wanted to make sure I understood all the pieces involved so I could test more and he could release a rock solid new feature. -
Damnit Google! These are not the "puppet stages" I wanted to know about. I need to know about MY kind of puppet.
4 -
Started out with C++ when I was 17. Being passionate about programming, loved to learn and explore more of the coding and programming world.
Reached out to the books for different languages such as Java, Python, PHP, etc.
Enjoyed learning anything that I came across.
My initial stages as a programmer, relied on books and video tutorials.
Now, relying upon documentation and other people's source code examples.
You know you can call yourself a developer, when you know how to use a particular language to develop applications that solve real world problems and perform tasks.
Now whenever I start out on a new language, I begin straight away with frameworks, hoping that I can grasp the syntax in parallel. -
Finally got around to creating repos for 4-5 projects that have been in various stages of development over the last quarter.
No longer have the intermediary stuff to fall back on, but thankfully they’re all in an operable state! -
App idea: Platform for ongoing entrepreneurs
I just come from a start-up weekend. I really enjoyed the support we got from 17 different mentors (most of them founded in the past on their own).
Back home start-up funders don't have the access to that mentoring. My idea is to create a platform specialized for founders, where you can share your idea, believes and ask question all around your business.
I think especially in the early founding stages entrepreneurs are full of questions. Helping and discussing with other selfminded people is probably very enjoyable for us founder folks. A difference to the f.e. reddit concept: Users can create "diaries", a place where all storys, questions and posts about your project are stored. Reading a diary from beginning to end shall be a fun experience, reviewing your or others history of their "babys" and following the entrepreneurs thoughts through all stages of founding. Users of course can create multiple diaries.
Functionality will be suited for the listed usecase, for example a "Post as Anonymous" function will be added, if you have to deal with company sensitive data and more stuff like that.
What do you think about the idea? Do you like it? Would you use it? If not, tell me why?
Cheers -
So, I am in the last stages of development of a really big project and I need to figure out a way to package future patches and updates for the client in order for them to manually update the project on prod server.
For reasons I cannot specify here, they will not use any automated process, and we need to provide regular patches and updates for the next year.
So I was thinking of using git archive to package changed files from our repo for every new commit, or series of commits, and just give them that, along with any database schema updates as sql files (again, no automation can be used).
We are talking about a large PHP + MySQL app, and cannot use automated deployment strategies.
I feel there must be a better way to do this, but this is the best I could come up with so far.
What do you people think?
Any ideeas? -
Do only developers have to do such tasks like Cinderella sorting out the lentils from the ashes?
Poor co-workers
* who had to program against the undocumented closed, ever changing API from Exchange Server, supporting over a decade old versions
* who had to compile a c++11 compatible clang or gcc on some sick old OS and almost got it working with compiling a fresher gcc with one that got stuck in one of the build stages.
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