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*In Office
Coworker raises his head, looks at boss: "I'm leaving".
Boss raises head looks at coworker: "Ok".
All this took 5 seconds,..the weirdest 5 seconds of my life10 -
Days and days, 5+ hours later I finally figured out the issue.
The client is just fucking retarded, that's all.
5+ hours of my life wasted, much awesome!9 -
Its that time of the morning again where I get nothing done and moan about the past ... thats right its practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!
Today I'd like to tell you the story of "i". Interesting about "I" is that he was actually a colleague of yesterdays nominee "G" (and was present at the "java interface" video call, and agreed with G!): https://devrant.com/rants/1152317/...
"I" was the spearhead of a project to end all projects in that company. It was suppose to be a cross-platform thing but ended up only working for iOS. It was actually quite similar to this: https://jasonette.com/ (so similar i'm convinced G / I were part of this but I can't find their github ID's in it).
To briefly explain the above + what they built ... this is the worst piece of shit you can imagine ... and thats a pretty strong statement looking back at the rest of this series so far!
"I" thought this would solve all of our problems of having to build similar-ish apps for multiple customers by letting us re-use more code / UI across apps. His main solution, was every developers favourite part of writing code. I mean how often do you sit back and say:
"God damn I wish more of this development revolved around passing strings back and forth. Screw autocomplete, enums and typed classes / variables, I want more code / variables inside strings in this library!"
Yes thats right, the main part of this bullshittery was putting your entire app, into JSON, into a string and downloading it over http ... what could possibly go wrong!
Some of my issues were:
- Everything was a string, meaning we had no autocomplete. Every type and property had to be remembered and spelled perfectly.
- Everything was a string so we had no way to cmd + click / ctrl + click something to see somethings definition.
- Everything was a string so any business logic methods had to be remembered, all possible overloaded versions, no hints at param types no nothing.
- There was no specific tooling for any of this, it was literally open up xcode, create a json file and start writing strings.
- We couldn't use any of the native UI builders ... cause strings!
- We couldn't use any of the native UI layout constructs and we had to use these god awful custom layout managers, with a weird CSS feel to them.
What angered me a lot was their insistence that "You can download a new app over http and it will update instantly" ... except you can't because you can't download new business logic only UI. So its a new app, but must do 100% exactly the same thing as before.
His other achievements include:
- Deciding he didn't like apple's viewController and navigationBar classes and built his own, which was great when iOS 7 was released (changed the UI to allow drawing under the status bar) and we had no access to any of apples new code or methods, meaning everything had to be re-built from scratch.
- On my first week, my manager noticed he fucked up the login error handling on the app I was taking over. He noticed this as I was about to leave for the evening. I stayed so we could call him (he was in an earlier timezone). Rather than deal with his fucked up, he convinced the manager it would be a "great learning experience" for me to do it ... and stay in late ... while he goes home early.
- He once argued with me in front of the CEO, that his frankenstein cross-platform stuff was the right choice and that my way of using apples storyboards (and well thought out code) wasn't appropriate. So I challenged him to prove it, we got 2 clients who needed similar apps, we each did it our own way. He went 8 man weeks over, I came in 2 days under and his got slated in the app store for poor performance / issues. #result.
But rather than let it die he practically sucked off the CEO to let him improve the cross platform tooling instead.
... in that office you couldn't swing a cat without hitting a retard.
Having had to spend a lot more time working with him and more closely than most of the other nominees, at a minimum "I" is on the top of my list for needing a good punch in the face. Not for being an idiot (which he is), not for ruining so much (which he did), but for just being such an arrogant bastard about it all, despite constant failure.
Will "I" make it to most incompetent? Theres some pretty stiff competition so far
Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!6 -
Me when viewing a line of PHP where the previous developer add "sleep(5)" to an Ajax endpoint with the comment "Sleep for 5 seconds so the ajax loading icon is visible to users".
FML.
12 -
Linux
Time to shutdown => 3-5 sec
Time to restart => 3-5 sec
Mac
Time to shutdown => 3-5 sec
Time to restart => 3-5 sec
Windows
Time to shutdown => 15-20 sec
Time to restart => LIFETIME25 -
Alright wikipedia, i see that you're in a crisis, but I just send 5€ your way. That should not be the fucking signal to unleash popup hell on me. Fucking 4 out of 5 pages now come with that popup. "if rveryone woukd just send $2..."
BITCH I SEND YOU 5€, STOP DEEPTHROATING ME YOUR UNGRATEFUL COCK10 -
Wanted to make a python script that makes a file, deletes it, make another one with incremented title, deletes it and so on.
Fucked something up and ended up with ~20k files before ending the script few seconds later.
Gotta love the ideas you get in the middle of the night
4 -
5 Types Of Programmers
1.The duct tape programmer
The code may not be pretty, but damnit, it works!
This guy is the foundation of your company. When something goes wrong he will fix it fast and in a way that won’t break again. Of course he doesn’t care about how it looks, ease of use, or any of those other trivial concerns, but he will make it happen, without a bunch of talk or time-wasting nonsense. The best way to use this person is to point at a problem and walk away.
2.The OCD perfectionist programmer
You want to do what to my code?
This guy doesn’t care about your deadlines or budgets, those are insignificant when compared to the art form that is programming. When you do finally receive the finished product you will have no option but submit to the stunning glory and radiant beauty of perfectly formatted, no, perfectly beautiful code, that is so efficient that anything you would want to do to it would do nothing but defame a masterpiece. He is the only one qualified to work on his code.
3.The anti-programming programmer
I’m a programmer, damnit. I don’t write code.
His world has one simple truth; writing code is bad. If you have to write something then you’re doing it wrong. Someone else has already done the work so just use their code. He will tell you how much faster this development practice is, even though he takes as long or longer than the other programmers. But when you get the project it will only be 20 lines of actual code and will be very easy to read. It may not be very fast, efficient, or forward-compatible, but it will be done with the least effort required.
4.The half-assed programmer
What do you want? It works doesn’t it?
The guy who couldn’t care less about quality, that’s someone elses job. He accomplishes the tasks that he’s asked to do, quickly. You may not like his work, the other programmers hate it, but management and the clients love it. As much pain as he will cause you in the future, he is single-handedly keeping your deadlines so you can’t scoff at it (no matter how much you want to).
5.The theoretical programmer
Well, that’s a possibility, but in practice this might be a better alternative.
This guy is more interested the options than what should be done. He will spend 80% of his time staring blankly at his computer thinking up ways to accomplish a task, 15% of his time complaining about unreasonable deadlines, 4% of his time refining the options, and 1% of his time writing code. When you receive the final work it will always be accompanied by the phrase “if I had more time I could have done this the right way”.
What type of programmer are you?
Source: www.stevebenner.com16 -
Top 5 reasons to come to Hackathon
1. Experience for your CV
2. Free swags
3. Networking
4. Free swags
5. Free Stickers (swags)9 -
Hotel offers no breakfast, towels are not exchanged unless you request every day, staff does not speak English, cleanness is clearly very broad definition...
WiFi is excellent.
5/5 would recommend.4 -
My output of 5 hours of work: changing a 'b' to a 'B'.
5 hours working out what the stupid cryptic error message means and reading documentation, 5 minutes to change and test the difference.3 -
"Pre-Installed Malware Found On 5 Million Popular Android Phones"
"added somewhere along the supply chain"
See below how to check if it's installed
Sources:
- (new) https://thehackernews.com/2018/03/...
- (new) https://research.checkpoint.com/rot...
- (old relevant news) https://thehackernews.com/2017/03/...
---
"Rottensys" a malware which covers devices from: Honor, Huawei, Xiaomi, OPPO, Vivo, Samsung and GIONEE
---
"According to our findings, the RottenSys malware began propagating in September 2016. By March 12, 2018, 4,964,460 devices were infected by RottenSys," researchers said.
"At this moment, the massive malware campaign pushes an adware component to all infected devices that aggressively displays advertisements on the device’s home screen, as pop-up windows or full-screen ads to generate fraudulent ad-revenues."
---
If you have one of the affected devices, here's how I checked mine:
1. Install ADB (Windows: https://forum.xda-developers.com/sh...)
2. Connect your device in USB-debugging mode
3. execute "adb shell 'pm list packages -f' > output.txt" (On windows navigate to C:\adb and replace "adb" with ".\adb.exe")
4. open the now created output.txt
5. search for any of those:
com.android.yellowcalendarz (每日黄历)
com.changmi.launcher (畅米桌面)
com.android.services.securewifi (系统WIFI服务)
com.system.service.zdsgt
19 -
I'm exhausted and quite drunk so I just want to say I hope everyone in this cunt Irma's path stays safe. ❤️4
-
#+BEGIN_QUOTE
What’s 5 plus 2?
7.
Correct.
What’s 5 plus 3?
8
Nope. It’s 10, because we turned 5 into 7, remember?
#+END_QUOTE1 -
8th day on the job:
1st Project: 90% done.
2nd Project: 5% done.
3rd Project: 5% done.
4th Project: not started.
I think I will be burned faster than I expected6 -
November brings .Net 5, for anyone who cares about that, and after listening to my husband watch Ignite "reveal" advertising container, and all the enterprise virtue signaling therein, I am now to the point where the only thing I can think is "Fuck you Microsoft, and Fuck .Net 5."
During a 30 minute speech, the director of the dotnet platform commits the following flagrant faux pas:
1. Introduces tons of visual studio easy buttons for shit we already do, no mention of VS code support.
2. Shows tools that anyone other than the most insular enterprise mouth-breather have been using for no less than 6 years
3. Gives absolutely no credit to the Open Source community projects backing the features he's showing
4. Shows nothing but mono-cloud integration, makes no mention of any other cloud targets for new features
5. Acts like "deploy your app the cloud from IDE" is something anyone should be doing in 2020
6. Showed an API repl that is pathetic compared to httpie when it was in alpha
7. Showed blazor loading from cache and said "Look at how instantaneous it is" (if you ignore the 5mb of cached payload it took to run the hello world demo)
8. Shows Project Tye, presenting it as a new groundbreaking xyz, fails to mention helm already exists
What's absent is what is most offensive:
- acknowledgment of community contribution
- no linux/mac tools, entirely windows-centric (which jives with my prediction of second-class citizenship for the people who contributed to .net core the most)
- cross-cloud capabilities
- bash/zsh (again with the untermensch relegation)
Fucking microsoft back to their old bullshit.24 -
Searching for new jobs when i find this:
Backend Developer
Education:
Computer Science (Bachelor's degree)
Languages:
English (spoken proficiency: Conversational/Business written proficiency: Conversational/Business)
Skills:
Ruby on Rails (+5 years of experience)
HTML (+5 years of experience)
CSS (+5 years of experience)
.NET (+5 years of experience)
HapiJS (+5 years of experience)
ExpressJS (+5 years of experience)
Django (+5 years of experience)
Elixir (+5 years of experience)
Ruby (+5 years of experience)
Python (+5 years of experience)
Java (+5 years of experience)
Javascript (+5 years of experience)11 -
My favorite languages are
1. Python (3)
2. PHP
3. JavaScript
4. Ruby
5. Java
Honorable mention: C++
Can anyone agree?38 -
HOLY SHIT ANDROID 8 IS FUCKING PERFECT! MY OP5 JUST STARTED IN 5 SECONDS! AND THE PARALLEL APPS ARE FUCKING GREAT TOO! SOO MANY FEATURES!10
-
At a job interview.
Them: Can you please write a function that calculates fibonacci numbers on the whiteboard please.
Me:
fib=_=>($=>$.round(($.pow((1+$.sqrt(5))/2,_)-$.pow(-2/(1+$.sqrt(5)),_))/$.sqrt(5)))(Math)18 -
how people count
normal people: 1 2 3 4 5 6....
me: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6...
them: wtf u doing, 0 is not included8 -
For fucks sake if I send you a clearly described 5 step install instructions do not start on step 3! Yes you fucking moron instructions labeled 1,2,3,4,5 should be carried out one after the other! Not in random order.
Seriously, how deranged are you that you have never ever encountered a step-by-step instruction before?!
Don't give me that "oh, should I have started with step 1 first? You weren't very clear about that. I think it is a bit too complicated."
Here are some more instructions:
1. Close your PC
2. Donate it to someone with detectable IQ level
3. Go fuck yourself
4. Please die
5. Yes, start with step 15 -
So I've taken the first steps into mobile development this past week, I attached two joysticks to a basic unity app to check if touch input was working and I guess I never got around to uninstalling it. so I go to school and finish some class work early and decide, why not check and see what it would take to get my current main Alpha project working. I open my unity folder and see Joystick_Test and someone walking by asks "what's that?" To which I reply tapping on the app "it's a touch screen test, to see if the phone can detect me touching the screen and dragging my fingers. I hand him the phone and he asks why nothing is happening which I respond with "it's just an input test, it's not ment to be anything fancy I just need to program the joysticks and the scripts are still in development" and he hands the phone back and says "your lazy as shit. I can make the controls work in under a minute" and he walks away. It's lunch now and I manage to catch him in the library. I open Unity, and Mono-develop and call him over. I get out of my seat and say "program the left joystick to move around. I'll give you a hint, vector3". He sits in the chair and stares at the screen for a solid minute until I see him type
Console.writeline("hello world");
And he said it would work and just walked away.1 -
-- So you like npm? Upgrade to version 5 to use its sweet features!
OK. Let's run `npm install npm@5`. Erm, my npm is now a broken mess, not finding `semver`.
-- Well, since you like npm you also will like yarn! It's just facebook's npm. So run `npm install yarn -g`
Yeah, but I wanted `npm@5` not `yarn`.
-- Then just run `yarn global add npm@5`. You then have npm@5.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
And yes, that works.5 -
I wake up, take a look at the clock: 5:21.
The alarm is at 5:40.
Thanks fucking sleep cycle for waking me up to wake up the alarm clock... FUCK!!!2 -
Top 5 World’s Most Hated Programming Languages
1. Perl
2. Delphi
3. VBA
4. Objective-C
5. PHP
Which one do you hate most?
16 -
On highschool I took a special major in which we learned various computer and mathematics skills such as neural networks, fractals, etc.
One of the teachers there, which for me was also a mentor, is a physician. He taught us python which he didn't know very well (he wasn't that bad either) and science which was his true passion.
My end project was to try to predict stocks market using a simple neural network and daily graphs of 50 NSDQ companies. The result reached 51% prediction on average which was awful, but I couldn't forget the happinness and curiosity working on this project made me feel.
Now, 5 years later, I have a Bsc and finishing a Msc in Computer Science, and would sincerely want to thank this mentor for giving me the guts and will to accomplish this.7 -
Algo algo1 = new Algo();
Algo algo2 = new Algo();
algo1.setOpacity(.5);
algo2.setOpacity(.5);
// The following image is ENTIRELY unedited:
12 -
Its strange how a space can change the meaning of a statement.
Where 5! = 120 and also 5!=120, both are true.10 -
Steps to work on android studio -
1] Open android studio
2] Wait for an hour.
3] Wait for the build.
4] Build failed.
5] Get frustrated, close it.
6] Repeat 1-5.10 -
Am I the only one who hates these 9-5 work times?
Right now it's almost midnight and I'm awake and my mind is productive, but I know tomorrow at work I'll be tired until lunch atleast and only from like 3-6 on I'll start being really productive. Wish I could work from like 5pm to 1am..12 -
Top 5 biggest questions
1 What is the universe made of?
2 How did life begin?
3 Are we alone in the universe?
4 How to exit vim?
5 Why do we dream?8 -
FUCKIN FIREBASE
EVERYTHING WAS HAPPENING PERFECTLY.
UPLOADING WAS HAPPENING PERFECTLY
BUT NOT SHOWING ON THE CONSOLE.
WHY?
BECAUSE I HAD NAMED THE GETTER DIFFERENTLY!!!
FUCKKKKKKK
5 FUCKING HOURS. 5 FUCKING HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!9 -
So I recently had a university project which focuses video game audio. We had to work in groups of 3 students and the task was to create a video game which uses audio as a gameplay mechanic.
Our idea was to create a game where you collect different audio samples which get looped as background music, and you have to select the correct ones to have a nice tune. To make it a bit more challenging we had enemies, guns and grenades plus doors which only open if the correct music is playing.
The guns fire on-beat, and the grenades always explode on the first beat of the next bar.
It was quite challenging to get things synced since even small offsets are noticable.
I wrote some nice code and theoretically it should have worked but for some reason the gun shots and the grenades didn't quite hit the beat of the music.
I tweaked stuff, created workarounds, optimized lot's of code to get execution times down but it still only worked sometimes.
I tweaked more and more only to realize that the timing drifted over time.
At that time I worked 20-30 hours on tweaking and trying to get it perfectly timed.
After recalculating some numbers I realized that all the audio samples are recorded at 135 bpm, but the guys who did the recordings said it was 130bpm.
I asked them if it could be the case that the samples are 135bpm and they said:
"yes, they are at 135 bpm as we told you"
I scrolled back in the telegram conversation only to see that they said 130.
Changing the number to 135 resolved all the problems and all of my workarounds and tweaks weren't needed.
So I worked for nearly 30 hours just because they didn't notice their fault and even when they realized that the timing is off sometimes (which took forever because they never played the game), they didn't even consider that they might have given me the wrong numbers.
This all wouldn't be that bad if both of my teammates had worked for more than 15 hours but they didn't. I did all the hard work and the only single thing they did fucked up my workflow. It fucked up the system I created and it fucked up the gameplay as things got unpredictable. Because of their fucking fault I worked as much as both of them combined IN ADDITION to all the other work I did (built 3 maps, coded everything, created animations, ...)
I love working in teams, but only if the whole team is motivated. Those two fuckers were the exact opposite.
Luckily i found the error so I could fix it, but guess with whom I'll never ever work together again?10 -
The new holy war in C#:
Point p = new Point(5, 3);
vs.
var p = new Point(5, 3);
vs. (new)
Point p = new (5, 3);
and... FIGHT!!43 -
4:55: Everything looks good in prod.
4:56: Deploy new feature after all is well in Dev.
4:57: Prod goes to shit!
4:58: Call wife to tell her I'm not coming home at 5.
4:59: Prod looks fine w/o anyone doing anything.
5:00: Leave work.
5:25: Get yelled at by wife for leaving at 5 after telling her I couldn't.3 -
some people are just worst than the devil.
int main()
{for (int i=0;i<5;i++)
{for(int j=i;j<5;j--)
{printf("*");
}printf("\n");
}
}
(some dude from class wrote that)9 -
Well i was between jobs at the time, looking for something, anything to fill in the black hole being created in my wallet.
I applied online though this company’s website and within 20 minutes was on a phone interview setting up a face to face, this was Monday afternoon.
I went in on the Wednesday morning with the manager, no cv, no resume, no examples of work, we talked, did a couple of brain teaser questions and Friday morning I had the job 😂
I have never put so little effort into getting a job before but it was all a sham, the workload and requirements this job constantly sets out to kill me with are godly.
3 years later I’m still alive ( somehow ), and no blood has been shed.... yet. -
My evening: going from 8e-5 seconds to 1.4e-5 seconds.
I'm pretty happy. I'm now 3x faster than the next fastest library available.19 -
Job ad title: "junior Php developer position £20k-£25k/pa"
Job ad body: "5+ years experience required in Php, JavaScript, html 5, css, experience in laravel, Vue and react."
🤔9 -
Top gripes about getting older as I'm about to turn 40:
5. Actually starting to have moments at home after work where I'm contemplating saying 'Hey babe, wanna bang?' but before I can get the words out my body pipes in with 'Dude, cool your jets, we're wiped out today; check back tomorrow.' Women say they like older guys because <insert character trait here> but I'm now convinced it's just because they know there's less work involved. =/
4. Friends with young children. I hardly ever see them anymore, and when I do, all they talk about are their kids and their shitty relationship with their co-parent. The circle continues to get smaller...
3. Having to go get glasses in order to renew my driver's license. How do we not have a heads-up display in every vehicle by now that shows the street numbers of buildings as I'm perpendicular to them as well as the names of upcoming cross streets? That way I'd fix the problem the way I do for everything else: notch up the font scaling on my display a point or two. Elon, you're slipping...
2. Realizing that the "American Dream" isn't worth the paper it was printed on. (Anyone else remember paying 97¢ for a gallon of gas or $2 for a pack of Marlboros?) Concurrent realization: It's not easy to find work in another country without moving there first, even if you speak the language. Any devs in Portugal that read this, ligue-me.
1. Being too busy to just chat with new people I meet except on rare occasion. Mostly referring to work time here, when it seems I'm always needing to find the shortest route to the objectif du jour. If I could tell my teenage self just one piece of advice, it'd probably be "start your career in Europe, not the USA" but I really want it to be "treasure the time you spend on IRC talking about anything and everything with people that always have time for you and vice versa, because it's going to be over before you know it." -
Gets scheduled into team meeting. Relatively new, see 5 pm ok sweet nbd. *reads IST. Tf is IST? Google that shit, INDIA FUCKIN STANDARD TIME? 5 pm IST != 5 pm EST. Fuckin oh no that shits at 6:30 am. Brb while I slice myself open with safety scissors.2
-
Yeah, maybe I can solve your problem in 5 minutes with you. But first you have to spend 5 minutes explaining it to me, and I need to spend 5 minutes listening, and after we're done, it takes 5 minutes to remember what I was doing in the first place.
So you better be sure you could not have solved it in 25 minutes googling on your own, or you're effectively saying your time is more valuable than mine.
And if you spend another 5 minutes forcing me to spend 5 minutes listening to your goddam stories about what it was like growing up on your fucking farm, so help me jebus, I will take that idiotic thing you call a mouse and shove it so far up your ass you'll be scrolling with your duodenum.1 -
My 5 cents about refactoring.
People often postpone it, making it harder down the line.
From my experience, it's better to just do it as you go. 5 min can otherwise become 30 min thing after a while, and combined with some other 5 min thing, this can become 2 hour thing after some time, for example.
Also good luck convincing management (especially bad one), that you need 2 weeks of refactoring. Doing tiny 5 min refactoring, no one will notice.7 -
HR Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Interviewee: I have your job and I'm asking the interviewee: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" His response?
I have your job and I'm asking the interviewee: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" His response... -
Senior Developer is a title that you get from working at the same company for over 5 years but you don't learn anything new within those 5 years.
Close your damn divs!!!3 -
"Got a new soundcard yay, lemme Install it!"
*5 mins later*
"why won't it give me sound ffs, the input works just fine"
*5 mins later*
"Great, sound output works"
*taps mic*
"oh ffs..."
*5 mins later*
"yay, input now works"
*puts on some music*
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHINEDOWS!?"5 -
My Unix class
👨💻using nice looking theme for vs code to edit my bash script
Prof: That's a nice looking theme( he thought it was vim theme)
Me: um.. um.. It's vs code, new guy in a town
Prof: uh! 🤔
Me: ( 5 sec silence) um, It's from Microsoft
Prof: GET OUT!3 -
Development time : 1 month
Architecture: 5 days
Writing code: 5 days
Testing: 5 days
Deciding variable/service/entity names: 15 days4 -
Just pulled the trigger on a Librem 5 pre-order. I'm super excited. Android was getting shittier with every release, and ios is even worse(to me), so I was getting distraught about my next phone.5
-
Stopped coding for 5 months.
For 5 months I didn't forget my name, my age, how to sleep and the fact I live every second.
Fortunately, now I code again. -
me: Imma start working on this project I have been putting off for a week
me after messing with the chrome console for 30 mins:
(5&&!2||(5||30=== 9)+(2||3==-1)+(22&&7)+(4||5&&3===4&&2)+(!5||5))*(!3||3)+([][[]]+{})[+[]+(![]==[])]+([][[]]+{})[+[]+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])]+(typeof(()=>{}))[+[]+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])]+([][[]]+{})[+[]+(![]==[])+(![]==[])+(![]==[])]2 -
Found a nifty way of generating the 7th dedekind number because of how it uses the difference of powers, and the sum of the fifth and sixth dedekind numbers:
((5**d(10))-(5^(9)))-((((5+168)*2)+7581)*2)
Pretty sure its a one-off though. Couldn't find any generalizations. Just a happy accident.25 -
I don't get why people set their alarms every 5 minutes, instead of every minute with 5 minute snooze... It's waking up or lying around and getting angry at your phone that way
14 -
I hate when coder use WordPress eben if web-development is not their mainstream for their blogs . I would rather anytime learn the whole website building stuff rather than using WordPress8
-
Dev: linters can help us by keeping us focused on important problems.
Linter:
124:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
[...]
150:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
151:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
152:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
153:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
154:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
155:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
156:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
157:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
158:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
159:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
160:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
161:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
162:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
163:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
164:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
165:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
166:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
167:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
168:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
169:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
170:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
171:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
172:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
174:5 ✖ Expected indentation of 2 spaces indentation
175:3 ✖ Expected indentation of 0 spaces indentation
50 problems (50 errors, 0 warnings)11 -
Have you read about this yet ?
https://itnews.com.au/news/...
I don't live in a FVEY country , but it still terrifies me.7 -
Friday 5:13pm
- Critical report: "We're allowing users to withdraw more money then they actually have in their accounts"
5:16pm
- "False alarm. There is pagination on the transactions interface". Have a nice weekend everyone!1 -
8 beds total, 5 bookings made, 5 still left...
I think I need to go back to class 1 and study matha again... This time, properly!
-
There was a rant earlier of someone working a 9 to 5 job now which i can't seem to find, wanted to answer in regards to wk26
They were complaining about it being a boring job with boring processes and not learning anything new..
you can't say that you haven't learned something new, i bet you haven't learned a new language or technology but there are plenty of other skills to be picked up from a company that have worked for this all their lives..
I mean, these kind of companies have either seen it all already and had tons of bad experiences they are trying to avoid, or then never experienced any of them but are still trying to avoid them.
I once worked for a Japanese company in Europe. All decisions (big or small) were taken by answering with the phrase : If it isn't broken, don't fix it. As a result they had an excel with over 64k complaints in them (1 row per complaint) and their website was running on 19 Sun servers, load balanced, using php 4.2 because the technology was just too old.
Point being, plenty of things to learn, getting new experiences, even if they are bad, at least now you know, how not to do things in a certain way, but all in all, working at different places, even bad ones, gives you perspective..
And perspective is important.
Perspective is experience.
It's the bit that glues the knowledge together.
Go out and explore, don't be afraid, everyone needs bad experiences, even if it was only so we can identify the good ones. -
I had a dream about AI.
I was contracted at a company that did some dodgy things. One of the things they "produced" was train car covers. They said the beauty of "selling" these is that they only showed that they shipped them to customers, despite never shipping them. This allowed the customers to take credit for covering their train cars to meet some environmental quota. It was a racket to satisfy someones auditing books somewhere.
Well my specialty was AI systems. I provided various types of AI for them to use to run their scams. However, there was a rule. I was not allowed to sell them or bring onsite any level 5 or above AIs. Level 5 or above AIs were AIs capable of independent thought. Not sure what levels were below, but I can imagine level 1 was probably pattern matching. Level 2 maybe can make decisions based upon rule sets.
As the dream progressed I found myself smuggling a level 5 AI onsite by combining 2 lower level AIs with complementary systems. Once "hooked up" they would act as a single level 5 AI. Not sure if I was working on some sort of industrial espionage or undercover for some sort of legal agency. I woke up too soon to find out who I really was.5 -
Every person project cycle.
1.thinking 2.making bitbucket private repo 3.Making slack channel for contributors.4 Explaining the idea 5.the end.
I seriously need to work after step 5 -
Why can't Debian just pull their heads out of their collective asses just ONCE and standardize the DEP-5 license syntax with SPDX, which the rest of the world is already using? Do they get sexually aroused over having years long discussions about topics with solutions readily apparent in under five minutes to the average third-grader?
Also, how do they stay relevant with such an absurdly high positive correlation between authority within the project and unwarranted condescension towards anyone inquiring about how to catalyze a change in policy or procedure?
Seriously, if I wanted to be insulted thrice within every sentence and treated like a self-evident waste of skin and air, I'd go spend time with my family! Arghhh!13 -
>closes laptop to let it cool down at 5:10PM
>5 minutes later, boots back up on its own and doesn't go back to sleep
>opening and logging back in
"We have an important update for you planned for 5:30PM"
OH NO YOU DON'T, you fucker!
Shit like this makes me wanna call Windows the McDonald's of operating systems.3 -
95% of people use only 5% of the capabilities of Microsoft Word. The 5% that do know it’s capabilities use a different piece of software instead. According to statistics I just made up.4
-
How stable is Linux 5, beacuse the company I work for wants me to build a course on Linux 5 administration 👀👀👀30
-
It feels like half of what I do is just tell people that their code sucks and it needs to be replaced, then I drag them through the 5 stages of grieving the loss of an application that has them trapped in an abusive relationship.
1. Denial:
The unique and complicated needs of our business lead to this unique and complicated architecture. This is all here for a reason, and it's all needed.
2. Anger:
What do you mean it's going to take 6 months to rebuild this? We made MVP in 3 months!
3. Bargaining:
Surely we don't need to throw it all away! There must be something worth salvaging!
4. Depression:
Stake holders and going to think we're not getting anything done! This is a nightmare 😭
Six months later...
6. Acceptance:
Holy shit thank god we got away from that glass tower before it shattered and cut us all to pieces! Side note: development velocity is on fleek. #profit3 -
Top 5 richest people.
1.People that own Powerbeats pro
2.People that own AirPods
3.Jeff Bozo
4.Bill Gates
5.Warren Buffet10 -
Probably pure coincidence but if you look at the deconstruction of the dedekinds like so:
>>> decon(6)
offset: 1, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('1')]]
>>> decon(20)
offset: 2, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 1, exp: []
>>> decon(168)
offset: 3, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('2')]]
offset: 2, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 1, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('3')]]
>>> decon(7581)
offset: 4, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('3')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('3')], [Decimal('7'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 3, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('3')]]
offset: 2, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('4')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 1, exp: []
>>> decon(7828354)
offset: 7, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('6')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('6')], [Decimal('7'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 6, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('8')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('5')]]
offset: 5, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('5')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('4')]]
offset: 4, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('6')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('3')]]
offset: 3, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('2')]]
offset: 2, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('2')]]
offset: 1, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')]]
>>> decon(d('2414682040998'))
offset: 13, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('13')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('12')]]
offset: 12, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('13')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('11')]]
offset: 11, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('10')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('10')]]
offset: 10, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('11')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('9')]]
offset: 9, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('9')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('8')]]
offset: 8, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('10')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('7')]]
offset: 7, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('7')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('6')]]
offset: 6, exp: []
offset: 5, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('6')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('4')]]
offset: 4, exp: []
offset: 3, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('2')]]
offset: 2, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('1')], [Decimal('3'), Decimal('2')], [Decimal('5'), Decimal('1')]]
offset: 1, exp: [[Decimal('2'), Decimal('3')]]
the powers in the 2's column go:
1, 2, 2, 2, 3, 3, 2, 4, 6
which are predicted by:
https://oeis.org/search/...
Again, probably only a coincidence, but kinda beautiful.2 -
My OnePlus 5' fingerprint scanner stopped working after lunch today. After a few test, found that it was a hardware issue. Fuck.
Now I have to open my phone like a pleb. I have to close and reopen the phone to open new apps.3 -
Just 5 days? What. Some technical problems take years to solve and you auto-close threads after just 5 days? Why you do this MongoDB 🗑️
6 -
So I'm going to wait a bit longer to actually buy the phone since I want to have at least had my S7 for a year before I buy a new one, but for those who saw my other rant about buying a new phone, I've made a decision.
I'll be buying a One Plus 5. It's just... How can you even say there's a better phone out there? So far the only phone faster than it is the Note 8, and eventually iPhone 8. The only difference is that those phones are $1000, and the 1+5 is only just over $500. (Don't believe me? Go watch the phonebuff speed tests with it. It actually beat an iPhone 7+. The first phone to do that in a couple years)
Sure, it doesn't have any of that great screen tech in the S8. But it's still got a great AMOLED screen, and it's battery lasts much longer than most of its competition. And Dash charge is much faster than Samsung's fast charging. Did I mention it's only 500$? Selling my phone would make they $350! How tf is it even that cheap?
Look, I'm not saying other phones out there are bad. Not at all. Hell, I love Samsung's phones. But the 1+5 is just better than the S8 or any other current flagship.5 -
When you're a Youtuber and you're trying to grow your channel by making Unity tutorials. Oh the struggle :')3
-
FML..
I worked directly in my Github repo folder while working on a project (don't ask me why). I did my initial commit with all my code from the start until 5 hours ago. I never pushed.. A minute ago, I checked my commit and noticed that there were DB credentials in one of the files. So.. Smart me.. "revert commit"..
Result. Everything got deleted except my node_modules folder and the readme file.. I lost everything.. Fuck me, I'm going home..
Please, someone.. Can I get these files back via git or something? Can't find anything in in the history..9 -
Wearing socks for 12 hours straight is alright.
But wearing socks for 5-6 hours then taking them off for 5 mins and wearing them back again is weird.18 -
Top 5 worst illnesses, from “really really bad” to “hell on earth”:
5. Bubonic plague
4. Leukaemia
3. Multiple sclerosis
2. Dementia
1. Schizophrenia -
5 issues resolved for project on bitbucket, now I’ve just added 5 more issues/enhancements! Back to where I started! Tempted to write them on paper so my issue count stays low :-/
-
!rant
Moving next week.
So while packing I stumbled upon my pile of failing drives which my computers have rejected since moving in here.
Time for some late spring cleaning.
1 -
I needed to rewrite pagination from:
A) 1 ... [3] 4 5 6 ... 13
B) 1 ... [4] 5 6 7 ... 13
To:
A) 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 13
B) 1 ... 3 [4] 5 6 ... 13
And the maths got me a headache3 -
Finally have 5 hours of peace and quiet to develop without the family or work...Get stubbornly stuck on one bug for 5 hours and basically accomplish little to nothing.
-
I feel a bit confused rigt now.
Did i misunderstand something with this random little excercise?
" Write a Java program to find the index of a value in a sorted array. If the value does not find return the index where it would be if it were inserted in order. Example:
[1, 2, 4, 5, 6] 5(target) -> 3(index)
[1, 2, 4, 5, 6] 0(target) -> 0(index)
[1, 2, 4, 5, 6] 7(target) -> 5(index) "
Here is what i did lol:
https://gist.github.com/laim2003/...
And here is the official solution:
https://gist.github.com/laim2003/...
Their solution seems a bit unnecessary complicated lol or am i wrong1 -
Find a bug 5 minutes before you leave the office, spend 5 hours that evening fixing it unpaid. The next morning you continue how you were from 5 minutes before you left the previous day with that "my code no have bugz" vibe.
-
Fizzbuzz
for (var num = 0; num <= 100; num++)
if (num % 3 == 0 && num % 5 == 0) {
console.log("FizzBuzz");
}
else if (num % 5 == 0) {
console.log("Buzz");
}
else if (num % 3 == 0) {
console.log("Fizz");
}
else {
console.log(num);
}11 -
I get the feeling there are many people here who would very much enjoy this one: https://youtu.be/1nLHIM2IPRY
Spoiler alert: the Saturn 5 rocket engines used the exhaust air from a 50000-odd HP jet turbine engine, to help cool the main rocket nozzle extension... and there are 5 of them.
😶3 -
To those with more years of experience, can software development be a 9-5 career with (almost) no studying outside of work? I want to achieve that. I want it as a source of income and to spend my free time on my hobbies and with family. Is that even possible?
note:
I love programming by the way, I'm just tired of having it taking my whole life and I want to do other things before I die...6 -
!Rant
I've had my Oneplus 5 for about a month ow and must say I'm pleasantly surprised! This is the first smartphone I've had that I can't find any obvious flaw with and it feels so nice to not have any bloatware to worry about 😍6 -
Can anyone recommend some Angular tutorials or documentation that I can go through that will provide an easy to understand, step-by-step of Angular 54
-
Our current assignment in class is a group project, where we develop a p2p chat client that works within the same network. The whole class needs to use a common protocol, so that the different groups can communicate, so the leaders have to choose/create one. I got Democratically elected. I also defined most of the protocol until now and kinda managed my group.
Since GUI-guy had the least stuff to I told him to copy a Persona 5 theme😆 -
Dear the devs at Danske Bank UK,
For the 4th time in 5 years I am going to send a error report to you and get my local branch to directly email you to complain about the lack of being able to see anything on my ISA on online banking, plus just fucking fix it,
sincerely Hidden3 -
It was quite a rough begining of 2016... having to give the context of a 7 team members project to 5 new team members, that replaced 5 teammates that left the company...
2 -
Oneplus 5 suffers from battery drain with OOS 4.5.8.
Reverted to OOS 4.5.6, gaining better battery life, but a WiFi drain is still here and although I get through the day and more, it bugs me a lot.
Today I woke up thinking about updating to 4.5.8 again just because I'm an update maniac.
Gosh why can't I leave it alone?
(I have considered modding but for now I don't really want to go back on that road again because of laziness)1 -
me.BeforeReachingEnoughPlusOnesForFreeStickers += (s, e) =>
{
PlusOnesNeededForFreeStickers += 5;
e.Cancel = true;
} -
Devrant Jeopardy - 1 - 5 points
*First* person to ask the correct question gets 5 points. However, if you post an incorrect question, you will lose 5. Here is the first clue:
Programmers who use this two letter acronym online might have BPD. Alternatively, they might referring to working with Haskel.10 -
More like :
For number in range(5){
Your code
}
Or
For number in range(5)
{
Your code
}
( I know that in python for is not use with { that was just for the exemple )4 -
Ok, I couldn't find a proper yes or no answer on Google or DDG, so maybe devRant can help me.
Does the amount of ram a phone has impact battery life at all?
I'm trying to decide between the 6gb ram op5 and the 8gb op5, and I don't think ill actually need 8gb of ram and 128 gb of storage, so I'm probably going to go with the 6gb model. However, if either one has any sort of battery life advantage that's the one I'll buy.3 -
Oh come the fuck on.
I’m trying to build a SwiftUI app and I can’t decrypt a video while it’s buffering using DisptchQueue? Wtf do you mean “UI must live on the main queue?” I AM running it on the main queue and it fucking crashes!!!
Please, if anybody knows how to use DispatchQueues correctly in Swift, HIT ME UP! I NEED SERIOUS HELP IN THIS BITCH -
I'm Beck at my parents home again and wanted to some a problem I'm having with FB "intelligent" aka dumb UI. But my motivation to code jus got thwarted bc VS 2012 is too old... and can't install the Nuget packages I need...2
-
Fucking visual studio and waiting 5 fucking minutes just to find out It didn't work and I need to change it and setup with another fucking 5 minutes
There must be a better way???, -
BSoDs/scenario I've had in 5 months:
Watching a video on VLC: 5
Chrome running normally: 2
Chrome running while waking up from sleep:3
Working on WSL: 2
Updating: 1
Seriously though. VLC? (╯°□°）╯6 -
Some post 5 posts to achieve 2000 ++ while others post 2000 posts to achieve 5 ++, all fingers in an hashset2
-
If the clock is not complicated enough, with DST and timezones.... holidays and red days is even more complicated..... (a perl sub which returns all red days for sweden. It does not return any holidays thats always saturday or sunday)
Requires Date::Calc and Date::Easter
What a mess dates and times become..,
sub GetHoliDayList() {
$yeartocheck = $_[0];
$holiday{'1-1'} = '1';
$holiday{'1-6'} = '1';
$holiday{'5-1'} = '1';
$holiday{'6-6'} = '1';
$holiday{'6-24'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-24'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-25'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-26'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-31'} = '1';
($eastermonth, $easterday) = gregorian_easter( $yeartocheck );
$hea = int($eastermonth)."-".int(int($easterday) - 2);
$heb = int($eastermonth)."-".int(int($easterday) + 1);
$holiday{$hea} = '1';
$holiday{$heb} = '1';
($year,$christskytravellermonth,$christskytravellerday) = Add_Delta_YMD($yeartocheck,$eastermonth,$easterday, 0,0,39);
$chstv = int($christskytravellermonth)."-".int($christskytravellerday);
$holiday{$chstv} = '1';
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,19) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-19'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,20) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-20'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,21) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-21'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,22) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-22'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,23) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-23'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,24) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-24'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,25) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-25'} = '1';
}
return %holiday;
} -
Let me show you something:
let a=[
1-3,
5-35,
5*7,
77/4
,4%5,
7==7,
6_2,
3&&3,
4&&2,
"f"&&"c"
]
document.write(a)
actually, it works...12 -
Me: Oh yes this is easy, i will fix it in 5 minutes..
*Deploys the solution to debug it*
*waits 20 minutes....*
(the message says "installation is in progress")
Just fuck you SharePoint Online.
1 -
anyone know a good tutorial for unity and its c# api structure? i’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it and i am starting to feel stupid.3
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