Dear Apple,

If you were a person in the streets dying after swallowing a fish bone, I'd stop by only to KICK YOUR FUCKING HEAD REPEATEDLY INTO THE CURB!!!!

FUCK YOU for wasting my time getting my hands on an old MacBook just so I can develop in your shitty prison of an ecosystem.

FUCK YOU for wasting my time having to install officially unsupported crapOS for the hardware only in order to use your steaming pile of shit latest Xcode because it's the only way to write code for the target device.

FUCK YOU for running slower on a 2.5GHz processor with 16G of ram than the Internet did in 1995. FUCK YOU AGAIN as browsing the internet is faster than anything else on this setup. FUCKING planned obsolescence MOTHER FUCKERS!

FUCK you for the headaches with multiple different iOS versions to take into account when thinking about what should be a simple project.

FUCK YOU ESPECIALLY for just keeping the soulless simulator blank because i need a fucking mother fucking development certificate and provisioning profile to run a hello world on it.

FUCK YOU for forcing me to use 2 factor authentication to enroll on your SCAM developers program.

FUCK YOU for NOT FUCKING ALLOWING ME TO ENABLE 2 FACTOR AUTH WITHOUT REMEMBERING MY SECURITY QUESTIONS FROM 2012!!

FUCK YOU AGAIN for when I reset those through crappy crapOS THEN requiring me to FUCKING install Developer app from the shit store to enroll....

BUT FUCKING GOD DAMN FUCK YOU FOR GETTING ME TO WRITE THIS RANT BY THEN NOT ALLOWING ME TO ENROLL IN THE DEVELOPER PROGRAM THROUGH SAID APP BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE iCloud setup!!! I DON'T FUCKING WANT iCloud.... I WANT TO FUCKING MEET MY DEADLINE AND WRITE THIS APP!!!!!

JESUS WEEPS as I restart this absurdly slow crapbook in the hope that the option to sign in to iCloud will show up in settings next time....

(meanwhile I I contemplate the sisyphean absurdity of existence and how John C Lilly was probably right about the Solid State Entity grooming humanity for takeover by alien AI...)

I start to contemplate blowing out my brains instead as to sign into iCloud i need to remember some long lost code and now rinse wash and repeat mindless authentication steps OH SO VERY SECURE APPLE only to get the attached godforsaken error... i restart again as i wish the universe would restart itself...

...i begin to enjoy hitting my head against the desk as i try to understand why apple won't let me enroll in there development program... i guess it's because i'd kick their head in... after 2 hours no more... FUCK YOU APPLE TO ETERNAL INFINITE SUFFERING IN DEMONIC HELLS YOU WORTHLESS, PARASITIC, SCUMBAG ENTITY... GO CHOKE ON STEVE JOBS EXHUMED ROTTEN COCK!!! BASTARD TIME WASTING MOTHER FUCKERS!

Fuck apple for making it as hard as fuck to sign in to my fucking apple id. Because my ex wife was my "trusted" number, I couldn't get an authentication code. Tech support told me it would take 3 days to reset my password.

After 3 hours of fucking around, I finally was able to reset my password.

I've been trying to get my kids to watch stupid Indiana Jones for years. They finally agreed. After going through 3 hours of BS so I could buy the movie, we start watching it. Literally, as the boulder is rolling down toward Dr. Jones, the movie stops suddenly so that Apple can verify my purchase!

Then, it asks me to buy it again!

Hiring a third party to help us with something...
Third party: yeah okay, we know what we need. Can we get access to your git repo
Me: sure, I'll make sure you'll get it
(To the admins): hey can you get them access to our git server?
Admins: did they sign the personal data processing contract?
Me: oh they won't work with any personal data. It's a dev server and they only need access to the source code. And the usual contracts and NDAs are already done
Admins: well we still need the other one.

... Sure. Why not. Just delays the start of the process for... Like a week and a half until that useless bit of paper has passed through all the necessary departments. Not like time's an issue. Right?

I'm fully convinced that VS Code is a fork of MS Word. How else could they manage to make their autocompletion features so disgustingly intrusive?

I'm actually surprised that it hasn't tried to capitalize the first letter of each sentence... yet.

I WISH TO END MY HTML TAGS WHEN I FUCKING WANT TO! I WANT TO WRITE A SINGLE QUOTE SIGN IF I WANT TO!

And fuck their fucking "Preferences" menu. Those dropdown boxes are absolute fucking garbage.

Fuck their fucking JSON fuckery. If they cant fit their custom settings into a GUI, it's gonna suck anyway.

Fuck their fucking CPU and RAM requirements. If it manages to lag on a Thinkpad T420, fuck it.

For everything that Microsoft has created, there's an objectively better alternative out there. I'll stick to fucking Atom.

Average software isn't even average.

I can not count the number of times I am faced with a consumer facing software such as fastfood terminals, atms, phones or even OS's that simply are broken. I am so sick of looking around like there is something wrong with me, when its the fucking code that simply offers me broken options. My favorite is the McDonalds ordering platform that simply offers one option once you select your first item: + THATS it a fucking + sign is my only option. What if I only want one fucking thing!!!

No I have to stumble around, looking ignorant until I finally just press the add more + sign. WHALLA
I can then select complete order - stupid programmers show me we all should write our own code that way we live or die by its quality.

Someone once told me, be glad software is so poorly written on average, otherwise we would all be a slave to big brother by now.

Engineering manager and I have a chat last Friday about some working performant code that needs to be refactored for future reusability. Not my favorite stuff but ok, let’s do it. We talk about things VERBALLY, one way of doing it, then another way. She’s in a rush to her next meeting and has to go. I feel very clear on what she wants and how it needs to happen.

After the call I do some thinking and I give her the estimate and brief her my plan. I tell her exactly the way it’s going to be done. She says do it and gives me her sign off.

I submit my MR today. And then she says why I didn’t do it another way. A more generalized way. And “the way we talked about.”

And I ask her if she can explain her way bc there is obviously some misunderstanding. And she proceeds to zero in on some functions I wrote and say how they are not generalized enough and how it’s basically the same as what we had before (but it’s actually a much different design). I patiently listen and at some point she abruptly says she’s out of time and needs to go to a meeting. I say I still don’t understand what she wants. Then she says that she will implement it bc I still don’t understand and she has no more time to explain. I feel pretty bad.

I suggest next time she can show me on zoom whiteboard, just anything visual and not auditory to make sure things are clear and we are on the same page.

She concludes that management has directed us to come to the office more so I need to come in so we can do in person white-boarding.

This whole thing feels unnecessary. We’ve never had this issue before. It seems like either some intentional plot to get me to come into the office more often or terrible communication skills and a lack of priority on my managers part. Like can you just white board your ideas for 5 minutes?!?! There are many tools to do this digitally!

The thing is I still don’t know where the communication gap is bc I still don’t know what she wants. Keep in mind all this fuss is over three cards of text on a webpage.

This is my first job in industry. How do managers normally communicate engineering ideas? And what are the best ways over zoom? And in person?

I noticed here there is not a culture of whiteboarding or pair programming.

It’s on the days like these I question what I’m doing here…

"Code"

And the website says "Lonely geeky people do need apply"
So I put my on my glasses and I went in to ask him why
He said you look like a fine outstanding young man, I think you'll do
So I shook his hand and, I said "I am glad I will be working for you."

Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual

And the sign says "If you want to use this site you must accept our cookies"
So I found the CEOs address and doxxed him all night!
To put up a dialog and block content from my sight.
If Todd was here, he'd tell it to your face, man, "it just works"

Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual

Oh, say now mister, can't you code
You got to have a laptop and a hoodie to get a job
You can't work, no you can't standup, you ain't supposed to be here

And the website says "You got to have an employee ID to get inside" - yo!

And the website says "Everybody welcome, come in, code and share"
But then they passed around a git pull at the end of it all
And I didn't have a character to code
So I got me laptop and I made up my own fuckin' code
I typed, "Thank you OSS for thinking 'bout me, I'm alive and doing fine", yeah

Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual

Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual

Yes! Some old song, called "Code code", I wish we did write that one, but
We didn't - git blame!

Hello World!

When you sign up and you have X amount of time to type in the code they email you to check its really you..

10 minutes wasn't great.

Then they reduced it to 1 minute and I thought that was crazy !

Now its 30 seconds..

I'll just check my email and hope the other 500 emails sent to me in the last 5 minutes don't get in the way of finding the one I want..

Assuming all 500+ can downloaded in less than 30 seconds..

It's CSS quick maffs time! Consider the following code:

<div class='container flex'>
<nav class='menu flex'>
<a href='#'>Menu item 1</a>
(arbitrary amount of links)
</nav>
<button type='button'>Sign in</button>
</div>

You want the layout to look like a horizontally scrolling, single line menu with a Sign in button to the right. Both container and menu are flex containers. So, here's the code for the menu:

.menu {
overflow: auto;
}

The problem is, as there is no flex-wrap, menu will not be wrapped, and it will occupy all the space it's needed to accommodate all the elements, breaking its container. Pesky horizontal scroll appears on the whole body.

Boubas will set menu's width to some fixed value like 800px, and this is a bouba approach because bye-bye responsiveness.

Here's what you should do:

.menu {
overflow: auto;
min-width: 0;
}

.menu * {
flex-shrink: 0;
}

This way, menu will occupy exactly the width of an empty div. In flexbox, its width will be equal to all free space that is not occupied by the Sign in button. Setting flex-shrink is needed for items to preserve their original width. We don't care about making those items narrower on narrower screens, because we now have infinite amount of horizontal real estate. Pure, inherent responsiveness achieved without filthy media queries, yay!

The menu will scroll horizontally just like you wanted.

aight bye

Microsoft, please stop the incomprehensible work vs. school account stuff and if you want to mail me a login code, then please actually do send an email. What's wrong with Microsoft Teams and office always giving its users headaches already when trying to log in?

A customer sent me a "FindTime" link, something like Calendso / Calendly, but "powered" by Microsoft Office. Seems that their power is off again, like ever so often. Microsoft: "can't access your account: You can't sign in here with a personal account. Use your work or school account instead."

Okay, go to bing, and search your error message. Try to use bing page to log in to my account: Microsoft: "We emailed a code." (No you didn't. At least I never received anything. And, yes, I did check my spam folder!) Microsoft: "Other ways to sign in: use Microsoft Authenticator".

me: "dear customer, please feel free to pick any time and date that matches your preference, as the FindTime link has been impossible to use".

How can Microsoft make me feel so dumb again, after more than 20 years as a developer? Have they ever heard about usability?

macOS - just nothing makes sense.

You try to go away from the deprecated stuff, use the new shinier API to stop and start services with launchctl (bootstrap/bootout vs. load/unload). And how does this stellar OS thank you for that? By crashing your service. Thanks for nothing.

From developer perspective this whole OS is just such a nightmarish clusterfuck. If you want to set up code signing with some special entitlements and you try to use the provisioning profiles as advertised, it's like pulling the one-armed bandit. It will plunder your coins and sanity. You try to compile it, it fails or the executable will be killed - you enable and disable the automatic codesigning in Xcode, or delete and download you old code signing cert and suddenly it works. It's just random - and you have to perform random walks on the Xcode project settings to make it run. So Apple turned us into Xcode clicking monkeys...