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Search - "please. no."
-
Me: PHP, please load the images.
PHP: No.
Me: Come on PHP, the deadline is tonight.
PHP: Haha nope.
Me: What if I swap the libraries?
PHP: Still no.
Me: What if I add a symlink?
PHP: No. And also I hate you.
Me: *gives up and sends an email to the client saying we have to delay the release*
PHP: lololol jk here's the images haha
Me: :/13 -
*computer fell, broken in pieces*
Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?
Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,
Me: no, no I just-
Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?
Me: umm… no, look I'm just -
Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir
Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-
Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?
Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -
Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8
Me: no just check my-
Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-
Yup.14 -
Me brute forcing into the appartment (where i rent my room) modem:
*tries all most easy/logical combinations*
Nope.
*tries more difficult ones*
Nope.
*hmm.... no please not both just blank....... 😷*
Admin access granted.
😩11 -
Me: Alright, let's code!
School: Psst. Hey.
Me: What?
School: Remember that assignment from last week?
Me: Oh god please no.
School: Yeah, it's tomorrow. And you have a Geography exam next Monday. You love geography, right?
Me: Please, no, I want to become a programmer, not a--
School: Shush... It's okay. Programming can wait. You want a to get a job, right? What would they say when they see your poor Geography?
Me: That doesn't even... Okay, fine, I'll do it...
* two days later *
Me: Fuck me! Finally! Let's do some coding now.
School: Psst. Hey.16 -
Hi sir i have a problem can you please teamview in and help
Me: sure no problem
Login....
Are you there ....
Hello whats the problem
40min later
Sorry i went out for lunch
😤😤😤😤😤7 -
Lets take a moment to appreciate this community - no ads, clickbaits or nudity and very little reposts (mostly for fun). Please devRant, don't ever get ruined.16
-
I dont need no girlfriend. Stack is my bae.
PS: Please inform me if this is a repost but haven't seen this on devrant22 -
Fell asleep on my first day in my very first project. When I woke up, I saw an email from our manager with the subject "No sleeping please.". No email body. 😂9
-
Alone at home ✔️
Night time ✔️
Battery about to die ✔️
No electricity ✔️
Painfully hot weather ✔️
If I die here tonight, please commit and push my code..
Thanks14 -
Me: Can we do this with your module?
Creator: Yes
Me: How?
Creator: By adding the need values. Please see the docs. :)
Me: You have no documentation on this feature besides, "yes."
*Creator has closed ticket.*4 -
My smartphone specifications list
1. Should come with 3.5 mm jack
2. No exploding battery please.15 -
A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife :
- Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!!
- What happened, did you run out of toilet paper?
- No, restart the router, please!5 -
Client: Please fix the logo.
Me: Okay, what needs to be fixed exactly?
Client: Put this word next to that word(shows me an example).
Me: Okay, no problem.
*after 5 minutes*
Client: You did not do what I asked for. Please fix the logo. Make it look better. Make it bigger and more outstanding. Dont change my logo
Me: Okay, I will revert the changes.
*Reverts to the old logo, and only does that as I do not fucking know what to do with oudstanding for fucks sake*
Client: I will talk to your boss. No one cares. My web site is not even finished and no one cares.
*It is finished, now the client looks for small things to make a big issue of*
Me: Could you please tell me in detail, what do you need to be fixes?
Client: I want the wording better. Im going to talk to your boss...
well fuuuck fucking fuck Im pissing blood!!!!!!!!!8 -
How reading E-Mail is hard:
Me:
"Dear client,
please send the pictures for content A and Content B.
We also found content C in your spreadsheet. Do you want content C to be uploaded? Please us where to place it.
Regards
Me (who does not consider this a difficult text)
"
Client:
"Hello. Please find attached the pictures for A"
Me:
"Dear Client,
Thank you for the pictures for A.
What about the pictures for B?
And what about that content for C?
"
Client:
(no answer)
Desperate Me:
(Looking at the attachment and finding pictures for A and B)
!!@**! :(
Reluctant Me:
"Dear Client,
Please look at the new iteration <here/>
And by the way.. what about that content C?"
Client:
"Thanks and find the images for Content C attached."
Extremely fatalistic and desolate Me:
"Well thank you. Where shall we put it then?"
Client (answer to the unanswered mail above)
"Thank you. Please don't forget to put in C."
-_________-*******undefined instructions skimming attention span jesus jesus christ people literacy ability to read reading email10 -
Dear Chrome,
I know it's ridiculous to have 50+ tabs open, but please - pretty please - just make it work for me. 300 MB/tab is starting to make Windows mad.
No, I will not close them. I might need that page I opened 4 months ago and was too lazy to bookmark.
Your abusive friend,
-chappjc17 -
Dear mobile apps devs,
No one's gonna hate you if you do not provide a multilingual support. Just, please, stop using Google Translate and force the app's language to the phone system's. It's just dumb
Sincerely,
A non native english speaker11 -
Mac: Hello welcome please sign in
Dev: Fair enough
Mac: Oh you haven’t signed in in awhile please get get verification from other device
Dev: kk
Mac: Oh you don’t have a dev account, please sign in on this website
Dev: Hm.
Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account you need to download this app
Dev: ???
Mac: Are you sure you want to open this app you just downloaded?
Dev: Sigh.
Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account on this app you need to sign into it
Dev: For the love of god
Mac: Ok now you can build with Xcode.
Xcode: No you can’t. You have to sign in
Dev: fuck sakes.
Mac: Are you sure you want Xcode to access files on your computer?
Dev: …Yup
Xcode: Signing in isn’t enough you have to select the fact you are signed in a dropdown nested 3 menus deep.
Dev: God damn.
Xcode: Build failed please sign in to phone as well.
Phone: New sign in detected, please verify with alternative device.
Dev: Jesus.
Xcode: Build success! Pushing to iPhone.
Dev: Finally.
Xcode: Unknown error occurred. Please go to support.apple.com for help. :)
Dev: …20 -
Oh God NO! Please tell me it is not normal for an Android app cumminacating with a rest API to send my login credentials in a fucking GET request!15
-
teacher (me): for the next session, we will need vagrant, please use the command 'vagrant box add…' before coming to class.
student, one week later: I tried your command, but an error came 'vagrant command not found'
me: did you install vagrant?
student: no... why?
*sigh*5 -
PM: Please get this done by tomorrow. It's just a small change.
Dev: No its not that simple.
PM: Why is it not simple? Please explain so I can understand.
Dev after a hard thought finally explains: blah blah blah
PM: Well, we have promised the client so please do this by tomorrow, thanks.
Dev: *bangwall9 -
Seniors: Welcome to the team. Feel free to ask anything if you need help. There is no such thing as stupid questions.
New Dev: Sure. Thanks.
*a few minutes later*
New Dev: How to comment a code?
Seniors: Google it....and please don't ask stupid questions.11 -
The universe has this weird magical power.
Whenever there are hardly any phone calls and someone mentions something in the trend of that it's not busy at all, we suddenly get overflooded with phone calls.
It's weird how this 'works' every goddamn motherfucking time. (Same goes for tickets)4 -
QA: When I open the app I get this strange error message that includes "No data connection could be established" near the start of it.
Me: I'll clean up how thats displayed, but the error means your phone doesn't have internet connection.
QA: No that can't be it, I do.
Me: You screenshot shows no WiFi or 3g / 4g symbols.
QA: No those are never there, please investigate.
Me: I have investigated and found that every other one of your screenshots had a WiFi or a 3g symbol. Example: <link>. Please check your connection and try again, i'll clean up the error display.
PM: Oh i've had an issue something like this before. We really need to show users an error screen. We can't just leave them on this screen with no error message at all.
Me: ... we have an error, thats what QA is complaining about, its not loading the text and displaying the error object.
Anyone else want to not pay attention and complain about something else that doesn't make sense? ... no? ... ok good, back to work then7 -
Just found a stackoverflow thread that had no answer and 2 comments. Here are the comments:
Person 1: Did you find a solution for this?
Author: Yes, please email me [...@gmail.com].
Bruh, what's wrong with some people???? Writing nothing at all would be better then that7 -
6:30pm: "You programmers have no life at all. Spending the whole day infront of a computer! "
6:31pm: "Hey could you please loan me some money, I am so broke right now"
*Me singing in my head*: 🎵🎵Young, dumb and broke4 -
That awkward moment when I was able to run three docker containers on a 512MB server:
1. DotNet core web service
2. MySQL
3. OpenVPN
BUT I cannot run:
1. NodeJs web service
2. MongoDB container
Spent two hours configuring the damn server to get hit by this T_T14 -
Just came from a one week holiday, only to come and see that zesty security and some other repositories are no longer supported on my 17.04 ubuntu...
Updating to 17.10 now..
Havent even booted up my windows laptop yet.. God please give me strength..19 -
And there I was thinking about being an Intern here...
NO FIGHTING OVER TABS AND SPACES IN THE COMMENTS PLEASE16 -
Client: I want you to build me a website.
Then makes an order on freelancing website.
Me: Okay, Sir. Can you send me your specifications, please?
No reply.
2 days later
Me: Hello, sir....are you still interested?
A week later
Me: Sir.
Me: Sir.....
No reply
2 Weeks later
Me: Sir......
No reply
Client: Oh, sorry.(Then gives some lame excuse) Okay I will send you the specifications.
Me: It's Okay. Waiting for it.
A week later
Me: Sir, you forgot to send me your specifications.
No response.
#Life of a freelancer.....No stability or security or decent clients.10 -
Just got a merge request to review. It's TERRIBLE
- 93 changes
- 23 commits
- includes multiple features
- includes new project configs
- includes refactoring
NO. Please don't do that.
Do smaller commits. One feature per MR. It will help you and the reviewer :D6 -
So this client wanted a demo on Dockers. So I gave the demo with some microservices running on different containers. Later the clients come back and say, "Docker is good. But please fit all the microservices in one container." I say but that defeats the purpose of microservices. But no, the client say. I tried explaining but no is no. Shit!! Fine! Have it your way!!5
-
Just saw on LinkedIn the following:
One of my connections is an iOS developer and someone asked him to do a mobile app for iPhone, my connection replied that the final price is $200 (yes two hundred dollars)
Client reply was:
You are going directly to hell for that expensive price! Deal is off!
Me:8 -
Today:
9 am - 2:30 pm - customer mtng
2:45 pm - 3:25 pm - team mtng
3:30 pm - 5 pm - sprint planning mtng
Anyone ever literally be in a meeting the WHOLE day? ... 😢 🔫11 -
[OC] Don't let the nature get to you only as a pixels on your screen!
Free your mind and don't forget the real world is out there, waiting for you to help you think, calm yourself and please you in the silence of a forest ~
No fans spinning9 -
Whoever created LinkedIn website, please fix the fake notifications. It's so annoying. even if there is no messages or request it's still shows the notification 😣4
-
"Alexa still down :( Please send help, I no longer know how to switch any devices on or off manually. Smart home now officially dumb..."
The home isn't the only one it seems 🤭3 -
I'm going to a friend's house because his computer won't boot. In case I don't return, please clear my git stash. No one needs to see that kind of crap.1
-
What I fear most is the "I used to be a developer like you" type of client.
No, that's not how any of that works.
No, noone uses that anymore.
Please stop trying to correct me.4 -
Facebook: Take this video
Me: No, thank you, I'm good.
Facebook: come'n it won't even take you a minute
Me: I'm quite busy
Facebook: Please...
Me: okay I will take a look
Facebook: Video will continue after a short ad1 -
I came across a line of code that calls an sms provider that sends account credentials in the url using HTTP T_T25
-
For all the Dutch people on here, I'd like to organize another meetup!
I made a quick form (please only use it if you're dutch, I can't check that easily and I also can't check if you're username checks out so please no abuse, I've gotta go on good faith here)
https://linu.xxx
It's just a simple form I put together in half an hour so don't judge 😅41 -
I didn't download that fucking 56MB Skype Installation File just to get this message:
"Please install Skype from the Windows Store for better Performance."
NO I WANTED TO INSTALL THE OLD SKYPE NOT THIS BUGGY PIECE OF SHIT!2 -
Interviewer: Sell me this pen
He: Hey do you want to buy this pen ?
Interviewer: No
He: You might need it to write stuff
Interviewer: No, I don't need it.
He: Ok, no problem.. Bye
Interviewer: What are you trying to do?
He: Trying to be a part of a company that doesn't sell stuff to people they don't need or want ..
Interviewer:
He:
Interviewer: Please give my pen back..7 -
today I pull a project to take over from my colleague
today I notice all commits where on master branch
today I leave this world T_T19 -
Ah the classic meeting terrorist....
Us: "These emails are working."
Rando customer on conf call: "No they aren't, I haven't seen any of these emails."
Us: "Is your email on the list?"
Rando customer on conf call: "No."
Yeah fuck you.
The rest of us are paying attention here, can you please shut the fuck up on the meeting.1 -
Computer: Please check your authenticator app to login
Phone: Please fill in the code you see on the screen
Computer: * No code *
Me: * presses the "I can't see the code" button *
Phone: Prompt goes away, 3 seconds later it asks for thr code again
Computer: No changes
I love Microsoft at my job4 -
Boss: I have a demo NOW, but there os an error message on that page.
Me: okay, give me sometime to elaborate the problem..
Boss: No No please, this is urgent
Me: Okay..
My code:5 -
FOR FUCK SAKE MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND !!!!
Been working on an app at work for 9 months and now PM tells me customer wants to change flow of the app!!!
Kill me please ASAP!6 -
Buttons that say "Yes, please" should be "Yes".
"No, thanks" should be "No".
"Not now" should be "Never".
I am using software, not talking to people, there's no need to be nice.11 -
C : Cool (for me)
Java : Just A Variety Available (uhm.. no hard feelings java lovers)
Python : Please .. You THink On Nothing (You literally think on nothing xD )
JavaScript : Join A Very Attractive , Sophisticated Code , Reactive In Particular Time (hmm...that took a lotta time)9 -
"Please put you cameras on"
put photo of me as background, closed privacy slide
Hope no one notices I'm not blinking5 -
Roommate: Filter it, would you please? (* Was talking about the tea*).
Me: Alright buddy, say no more. (*Names the signal that I was working on as "Tea".*)
(*Got the filtered output 😎*)3 -
The year is 2088, and I still haven’t figured out whether to bill per hour or project.
Help...
Please...
No?
Okay 👌9 -
Whatsapp from my mom:
"Hey, what means 'user defined' in WhatsApp?"
Me: "Depends. Where do you see it?"
Her: "Beneath user info and number"
Me: "Press the Power Button and Volume Down and send me a screenshot please, I have no clue"
Her: "What is the Power Button?"
SERIOUSLY???3 -
Me: soooo can you get this done by next week?
Other dev: well who knows what rabbit hole I'll fall down. There's no way to tell.
Me: can you just avoid falling down a rabbit hole? We have a deadline.
Other dev: oh ya there's no way to know for sure.
Me: ....... Can you please try harder
Other dev: I'm trying I can't.
Me: ................6 -
Please stop saying, "stock Android." What you mean is AOSP, and no phones from any manufacturer come with it. Stock means it's in the original state that the manufacturer intended, filled with bloat, whether it's Samsung, Google, LG, Xiaomi, or whatever.7
-
Friend of mine created a blog from scratch... You could create a post, by just sending a POST request (no authentication required!)....
As an additional bonus: you could dump full unfiltered HTML in a post, which was then executed...
Please kill me5 -
- Information -
The RandomQuote Bot is out of order. No more quotes to post...
Skayo, the owner of this bot, is currently working on an alternative to the quotes. Please be patient!
Thanks,
Skayo11 -
A conversation with my dear sister...
She: Hey Davide, why does this message appear?
Message of youtube: "This video is not available in your country"
Me: It means that whoever uploaded the video wants to reproduce it only in the country chosen by him during the upload.
She: Ah, but how can I do to see it?
Me: You have to go through a proxy. Wait a minute... I arrive...
She: But using the incognito mode could not work?
Me: No 😑😑
Me (thinking): No please... no... please... what was the question? No...
I like you anyway ❤3 -
So came across an emoji language the other day. I have no words just emojis http://www.emojicode.org/9
-
Tfw when you try to make your first rant and you have no idea what to talk about because there are hundreds of things that you can rant about and so you end up making a generic "I'm new here, please help me!" post.
I love computers :)7 -
Dear brain, could u please work?
"No you motherfugging arsehole, scratch the sand out of your vagina and make yourself your own processor. Fuck u."
Seems like it's the jolly season of "my brain is uncooperative and unwilling".1 -
Most confusing sign-up form checkbox I've ever read:
"If you would like us to no longer continue to stop not sending you special deal and offers every week, please indicate you are inclined to yes by not checking the box."
source: online course10 -
Being a programmer in a scientific discipline can be infuriating.
using "no one" ="almost no one"
using everyone = "almost everyone"
1. No one knows what even the very idea of good practice is. And everyone refuses to learn. 3k lines of repetitive copy pasted main. 500 lines of plotting method.
2. Raw C-style pointer based array creation. Won't use develope array libraries because what if development stops. FUCKING HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR CODE WHAT IF DEVELOPMENT ON YOUR CODE STOPS. FUCK.
3. LOOP VARIABLES DECLARED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE METHOD WHY.
4. Everyone wants to make modular, independent code. No one wants to use OOP. NOPE. ALL IN ONE FILE. WRITE C++ LIKE A FUCKING PYTHON NOTEBOOK. FUCK.
5. LIBRARIES OH MY GOD PLEASE DO NOT CODE UP YOUR MATRIX MULTIPLICATION. PLEASE DO NOT TRIPLE LOOP IT. NO. THE LINEAR ALGEBRA LIBRARY WILL STAY IN DEVELOPMENT.
6. Please realize that literally not one comment over an 1800 line file does not help anyone.
FUCKING. WHY. WHY ARE WE SCIENTISTS SO GOOD AT SCIENCE AND SO FUCKING SHIT AT THE CODE THAT MAKES OUR SCIENCE HAPPEN. WHY. FUCKING. WHY. FUCK.undefined rage no comments scientific computing fuck this shit wall of text bad code science fuck c++ fucking4 -
What music do you listen to when you code? Also, can you please recommend some. Music with minimal to no wording is what interests me. Any suggestions would be appreciated:)37
-
QA: When I start the onboarding process, kill the app and reopen it, I return to where I left off with no way to go back to the previous screen.
Me: Please click the back button in the top left corner5 -
Dear HR, please, stop creating online meetings with no real intention. Only to "have fun" and get together.3
-
WTF Woke up this morning and found my email used to register to a website called fiverr.com!!
What is even worse is that at the end of the email where they have that section of: this email was sent to ..., the name is random letters
Even more ironic that website does not allow access from Lebanon ....
I think it is time to change my email, been getting a lot of spam into my inbox lately, though Gmail has a good spam filter :\6 -
If you ever feel frustrated due to your UI design, Please kindly visit this website (http://lifeactionrevival.org/). It will cure your pain and you will frustrate no more.
NB: For faster relief visit website on a desktop browser.8 -
When the project manager (who knows nothing about code) tells me how to structure HTML markup. No, please, tell me how to do my job.1
-
"This has to be finished by EOD! No excuses!"
"No problem. Just send me an email with the details. For faster processing please add this signature to the last line of your mail:
X5O!P%@AP[4\PZX54(P^)7CC)7}$EICAR-STANDARD-ANTIVIRUS-TEST-FILE!$H+H*"1 -
After many years... I truly believe that non IT people belive that this is how programmers work:
- Goodmorning computer. How are you? Can you make me a program? I want the program to include an userfriendly userinterface, database, optimized code, documentation and dont forget that i dont want any bugs! Thanks computer. I'll get back to you when my coffee is ready.3 -
Just overheard somebody discussing about adding in IE8 support for the website. Please no... Just don't.3
-
For the Nth time in a row now, the team has met...
...with no agenda...
...with no note-taking...
...with no off-topic course correction...
...and has gone almost an hour over time.
Please stop doing this oh my god, we're wasting time and nobody has a fucking source when two months later somebody asks when/why this was decided and our only answer is "uh we agreed at some point" and we do this all over again.1 -
PLEASE FOR FUCKS SAKE DONT JUST EMAIL/MESSAGE ME YOUR ERROR AND SAY
"FIX IT " or "WHATS WRONG"
WITH NO FURTHER CONTEXT !!!
then when you respond to me asking
"can i see the code ?" 18 HOURS LATER
AND YOU RESPOND WITH
"it's closed source"
PLEASE DONT GET SHITTY WHEN I TELL YOU TO KINDLY FUCK OFF9 -
Guys!!!!
Guysss!!!!
And girls....
when your stoned and drunk as me, please watch "This is Not Happening" on youtube....
I'm crying here of laughter...
OMG
The bear... Oh , To baad no more bozze8 -
Not dev, but IT...
Just found out that one section of my place of work still uses floppy disks. No I’m not fucking kidding. The other sad part? We still have the outdated computers to read them. 😩😂
Please, send help or a job application...5 -
Me: Ahh great I almost finished the university project. One week until deadline. No Problem.
Professor: Oh Please implement this, this and this feature too. Its a little bit tricky but possible.
Can't this guy hand out all the requirements at the start of the semester ???4 -
Lets all write one line of code without having a goal. Lets see what we will come up with in the end.
Use C++11.
The code has to be correct from a syntax standpoint. Also, no sigsevs, please :P
Ima start with the first line:
#include <iostream>34 -
I'm honestly so happy and grateful to be in the world of web development. It's an amazing space to be in when you enjoy solving problems.
Consistently fast evolving and ever changing technologies means new and exciting problems are endless!
But I swear to all that is motherfucking holy, if I have to keep solving exactly the same problems over and over because the place I work at won't let me provide permanent solutions to old problems... I'm going. To. Lose. My. Freaking. Mind6 -
So we have a portal for all our University courses, where the professors also upload the presentations, etc.
Professor sends Email: Please participate in this questionnaire.
*clicks link*
"Please log in to continue"
*logs in*
Error (while I am already logged in): "Please log in to continue"
????
No wonder some people nick name the thing stupid. <.< -
* Today you have to live within 150 miles of a few cities as we are working on creating "hubs" but it's still remote!
you know what?
fuck you
also, no, an LLM isn't going to solve climate change
jesus christ i am depressed beyond belief. i don't even want to apply, let alone work for any of these companies
next up: "USA only" yeah what the fuck does that mean? US citizen? US timezone? you want to hire a super technical engineer right? SO WHY NOT BE SUPER TECHNICAL IN YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION
just incredible, companies that offer 100-200K salaries and all they have is a website and a fucking chrome extension... what???
i feel like i've been doing wrong my whole life
just end it all5 -
THICK-HEADED FUCKNUTS!
I have absolutely no idea as to why these would ever be password requirements, can someone please try to explain WHY THE FUCK4 -
!Rant
Fun fact:
The SENIOR backend developer at the company I used to (as of today) work has a degree in economics and business and his only experience has been a trainee position.
No more startups please.... Seriously.... Just.... Don't... No... 😰😰😰😵😵5 -
nobody in my team works at my location. they are all at different sites of the world.
can i have the option to work 100% remote please?
my company:
no :-)
oh, it is soooo hard to recruit new team members :-) what in the world could we possibly do??5 -
Me: Hmm... My Android phone has been acting strange lately, cell signal keeps dropping... Maybe I picked up a virus... let's flash the latest update.
Phone: Updating Done
Me: Hm... signal is still bad... maybe it's hardware... *Angry*
Phone: By the way you lost root
Me: @#$%$&&$%^#$!#$@$%$#%^ OK LETS SEE, SUPERSU, REINSTALL THE BINARIES... YES!!!
Phone: Reinstalling... Restarting...
......................................................
......................................................
Me: it's not loading.... why? NO! I bricked it..... NO NO NO NO.....
*1 hour of flailing...*
Hey Recovery still works! OK, let's try to reflashing the OS
Phone: Flashing... Restarting...
Me: Please, please... let this work.... it's not starting............. wait. IT LOADED!!!! WOOT!!!! AWESOME...
Phone: still no root...
Me: Eh...
And there went my most of my evening which I was supposed to spend preparing for an interview tomorrow....6 -
Taken a day off due to sickness, boss calls and said “can you fix an error on xyz website? it's urgent.”
I said No, I'm in hospital I can't. Even though I was at home.
He said “please look once whenever you'll reach home.”
Me: “sure.”
Idiot got no chill.
GFY5 -
+++ Sudo team adopting Adobe's Flash player, uniting security with design +++
Could we please stop pretending, that the choice of language has no security impact:
https://sudo.ws/alerts/...25 -
You know as a FOSS developer with no company affiliation the "I am once again asking for your financial support" meme is truer every second
I'm sad and broke please help7 -
My day so far:
"No, we can't just make that public."
"See this? That's a SQL injection..."
"We have output escaping, please use it..." -
Opened firefox twice infront of boss and had devRant as the active tab, I hope he didn't notice, but I doubt T_T
I will only know if I saw a rant about me, other than that I think I'm good :313 -
Dear boss, please give me a more challenging project. I am sick and tired of editing someone else’s HTML and CSS which doesn’t even go through a build process and the JS is basically Jquery. It would be better if no one else can get into my codebase and the project has no relations or anywhere near our flagship product. Please involve some sysadmin tasks that I really want to learn. For front end I want to use React , boss. Or at least ES(6)=>. NodeJS would be nice too but I’m not fussy with the backend language. Even PHP would do. Please give me a genuine problem to solve, anything mathematical, machine learning would be awesome! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻1
-
Can someone please forgive me for this mess?
Atleast its a fast mess.
(btw: I have no idea wether it works. I hope it does)4 -
Just learned display css properties. Took me long enough to make a damned HTML template.
Me no likes front end :(5 -
All this talk about "mansplaining" is actually quite useful when you get boring, non-developer related please-work-for-free questions,
- Can you tell me how to get this printer working?
- Sorry, but no. That would be mansplaining.1 -
Can somebody please explain to my boss that using a progressive loading bar when you've got no metrics to base the progression on is stupid. Pls.3
-
How to make those marketing staff of x service stop sending you an email when they don't have unsubscribe link:
1. Reply back asking about the free tier/plan
2. Profit!
2 days and no word from them after spamming me daily about the service3 -
React router is shit
I have never seen more retarded library.
Not only those suckers change the 100% of the API every fucking update for no reason, also they have the most fucked up documentation ever.
No search in the docs!!! Fucking bullshit examples with no such easy things like how to create nested routes.
Please, stop using this piece of shit, I'm tired of working with this fucking abomination. Hope they will delete their shit repo one day.22 -
"During the middle of a song the game crashes for no apparent reason!!!PLEASE FIX!!!"
Actual bug report on github. Apparently pressing the "Report error" button is to complicated for some people... -
!rant
Enough of this damn youtube selecting shit songs for me, so please guys share playlists !
What i am used to :
- macklemore
- Korn
- muse
- nickleback
- system of down
- eminem
- michael bubley
- nirvana
- tarja turunen
- rihana
- christina agilera (wrong spelling i know ...)
Just gave them in my mind's order, i listen to a lot of their songs, but recently there is no fucking good artist at all.
I like to listen to something who moves, not static idiot repetitive songs. I am fed of daft punk.
Please guys share, i can no longer enjoy music !!42 -
Medieval torture devices got nothin' on Angular.
The Rack? Ha, good times!
Brazen Bull? Happily!
Iron Maiden? Yes, please!
Pear of Anguish? Funny name, I'll take it!
But Angular?!
PLEASE GOD, NO! HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL!4 -
me to dba: do you have any recommendations of sql or query improvements? dba: no, just let us know once you're done.
after sending them explain plans, new queries and asking for reviews with no response from them, i applied the changes in dev.
after applying changes.
dba: you should involve us in any development. we need to collaborate.
me: please check your emails over the past 3 weeks.
wtactualfuck. -
Please, can someone explain the term "enterprise" to me. I work in a corporation, I hear it twice a week, I develop it, and still have no idea what it means.13
-
> Sorry, you have not updated your browser this week. Please update your browser to use our site.
*user tries to update browser*
> Sorry, your operating system is no longer supported. Please upgrade your operating system to install this update.
*user tries to update operating system*
> Sorry, your device is no longer supported. Please buy a new phone to use this operating system.
*buys new phone*
> Pay! Pay! Pay! Consoooom!
————
See where this is going? It is thinly-veiled planned obsolescence.6 -
I am sure now, my server hates me T_T
opened an SSH from Vultr portal and after working for few minutes that thing suddenly rebooted, am I a bad person :(
In its defense I had two docker containers that literary ate all the 512MB ram available :35 -
Me: *tries to deactivate windows 10 feedback*
Windows: nope *turns it back on*
Me: *please*
Windows: NO
Me: *Feels sorry for shitty quality*2 -
Found this on the big ass advert screen outside my cinema. The Dino represents my feelings very well to that exact message 😂1
-
When you got hired
HR: please come to us if there's any problems related work so that we can give a solution.
After years of working you send a mail with you problems, it's been months. Still no reply! And try to avoid conversation regarding that problem.2 -
No! I don’t have any problems that you are deprecating various libs that I used in my software. Just don’t fucking insist that your code is production ready and stable and backward compatible. Please
-
IT description of remote access tool on IT wiki page:
"Support for latest Mac and Windows release"
Also same page:
"macOS Mojave is not yet supported (...) Please do not upgraded until instructed"
No comments... -
This has been an interesting week! In my first management position, my first person to hire as a senior frontend developer has been approved!
Also made some killer API's this week! Show me the love!
The hunt is on! Heading to two meetups in Sydney next week 😉1 -
If your a developer please learn to program. There is no reason that this should ever be a package https://npmjs.com/package/year-now/1
-
C++ developer: alright, this should finally fix it. Please just compile so I can go to sleep
GCC: I'm sorry Dave. I can't let you do that.
THEN THERES THE USUAL SEGFAULT WITH NO STACKTRACE AND I SPEND THE REST OF MY NIGHT VALGRINDING2 -
Me: "Need help with build config problems, please help almighty documentation page!"
Docs Page: "Nah fam, I got 4 headers about problems with no text, a blank code example, and 2 error 404 pages."
And that's why I don't like build pipelines. -
For whatever ungodly reason my containers library, which has extensive testing, profiling, and benchmarks against other containers libraries receives regular emails directed towards me about it, always one of two things
1) "don't reinvent the wheel" I have to assume these people haven't looked at the performance characteristics or features at all. I didn't waste away weeks of my life. I needed something and couldn't find it anywhere. I'm outperforming many crap implementations by nearly an order of magnitude, and can offer queries upon the containers in both generalized and specialized forms. As an analogy, I made airless 3d printed wheels, and people are regularly telling me I should still be using ancient wooden spoke wheels; they probably would argue in favor of using a horse drawn carriage as well. How is it possible technically minded people can also be so anti-progress?
2) "Please rewrite this in X language." You know what? YOU rewrite it. I chose what I did because it made it easy to do what I needed to do. Hilariously, the languages I get asked to use most often, are the same who's containers libraries perform worst in the benchmarks.
Both sound like half baked developers trying to sound superior. Pull your head out of your ass and actually outperform me and others. I'm so fucking sick of this "all talk no action" bullshit.5 -
Me: Calling [emergency number in my country] : Hi, can you connect me to police in [my city + district]?
Operator: No, but I will connect you to country-wide police cetral, please wait... "
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK2 -
Aws Lambda and serverless framework. Yes FaaS is cool. Love it. But it is pain in ass when you have the only way for you deploy is zip the fucking code with all the dependencies. Comm'on AWS you can do better. Look at azure functions. Please give me a git deployment support. Please I beg. Each test iteration takes like for ever. Also no proper local emulator. Fuck you AWS. Fuck you serverless.3
-
Okay today I wrote a very ugly api.. No f***king json mapper will handle that response in java. The values are dynamic... Good luck to anyone who will integrate into it... And good luck to anyone who will look at my code
Project manager please always give realistic deadlines2 -
So, I go to set up my avatar.
And no option for white hair!
Please hurry and add the option while I still have some left!5 -
"Please move the logo left. The text goes a bit under."
Do you guys think people realize how unclear they are, and are just too fucking lazy to write the full spec? Or are they just so fucking stupid they don't realize I literally have no fucking clue what to do exactly with comments like these?
I guess Hanlon's razor applies here, but some days I just don't know...
Happy Friday! ☠️rant dumb comments lets see how many tags devrant allows are you an idiot please kill me maybe i'll break it not technical no spec3 -
I can fucking believe this is still the norm.
Micro selection borders for window / panel
sizing are the worst, please for the love of
god, MAKE THEM THICCer.
No need to make them visually wider,
just let me select it more easily, PLEASE.4 -
Has any of you reached a point that you want to resign from work because of a client?
We are dealing with a client at work that uses the app for prototyping instead of making designers create wireframe, imagine the amount of code to write,edit, remove, write it again and yet there is always something isn't right from the client point of view.
What is even worse backend guys screw the server and I am the one to be blamed for errors: 5xx
I even get blamed for error 400 (bad request) when that request passes tests but out of a sudden server returns 400, when you hit refresh the exact same moment of error and server decides to return data and stop throwing error 400.
I also get blamed for server fails to return data from a search endpoint, and if server throws 403 for a public endpoint.
This isn't a rant or getting out of my system but I need opinions, I've been working on this project for a year, with complete mess from either client or backend team, if any of you is instead of me, what would you do?
I'm not a complete guy either, but that situation is just beyond my abilities to handle.6 -
UPDATE ON THE SCHOOL NETWORKING SITUATION:
the entire country has entered total self-isolation for 3 weeks, which means no physical school for 3 weeks. I have to suffer at home for 3 weeks.
Fun.
(save me, please. I am beyond help.)7 -
The moment your website throws an irrelevant modal is the moment I close your website. It's the most disgusting website practice of our time, and people really should do something about it. If your client asks for it, please, just say no.
-
No brain. Half 11 at night is not a good time to learn a new programming language. Please be quiet so I can get some sleep and go back to working on really boring things tomorrow without being grumpy about it
-
Reading IE rants on here and I'm confused.
If a client/boss asks to have something work in ie 8, for example, why can't you just say...
No.
"No, it'll waste a hundred hours in Dev time, costing you at least 5 grand or more. please have your users upgrade to the latest browser, it takes them five minutes."
Or am I just naive
Just... Why can't you say that.8 -
Why do popular media paint "programming" as easy... this is a very big deciet. please let stop this lies.
programming is not for everyone, not everybody can code.
and please dump the f**king "Girls can code" slogan.
there is no need for the hype.13 -
"There is no cloud, it's just someone else's computer"
I don't understand this statement. Could someone please explain.11 -
Ffs
var filteredList = HugeList. Where(Condition);
if(filteredList.Count() > 0)
DoSomething(filteredList.First());
Just no. Please.10 -
I am to sleep, boss calls please do this...
Boss thinks we are machines hahaha, 72hrs of no sleep and counting...3 -
Dear last dev, thanks 4 leaving little 2 no //comments as u possibly could. 😑😣😢😠
Please //comment ur code!!1 -
This moment when someone mentions you in an PR of an huge ORM clusterfuck with associative tables and discriminators...
And you accidentially say "Yes I'll look at it later" because you thought it was an tiny PR -.-
Should have opened that link first.7 -
I hate having no inspiration, no good ideas and just feeling unmotivated. I have not came up with anything good in 1 year now so i just sit around rehearsing the function s i already know. If anyone has a good tip for coming up with ideas. Please let me know :)
TLDR I never get good ideas. Plz help.5 -
If you type "Google" into Google, you can break the Internet.
So please, no one try it, even for a joke.7 -
client: i want u to build me this site and please disable javascript on it
me: thats not a very good practice but whatever
client: Remember... No Javascript...
...
i smiled because it took me 10 seconds to get the reference1 -
Monodevelop.
I don't really know why, maybe the interface, but today, after uninstalling VS2015 and installing VS2017, I wanted to edit a script in Unity and when I clicked on it, Monodevelop started. I was like OOOH NOOO!! PLEASE NO!!3 -
Working in the government debugging usually starts with “have you tried it in IE? If yes, try it in something else. If no, try it in IE.”
Oh 2024 please deliver us from this hellscape which the heathens before me have wrought.2 -
Goodbye world, I will not miss you, I will not regret leaving you BUT THIS! I MEAN THIS !!! I cannot stand -_-
https://stackoverflow.com/a/...
For fuck sake! Why don't you put comma at the end of the line!! please someone delete his answer no commas at the beginning. Please, show mercy for a second T_T10 -
How many boring monotonous corporate meetings, leading to no helpful conclusion or action item, is too many in a day?
Jesus please I just want to work!!!9 -
Companies: We're starting to rotate people back through the office
Devs all drinking their desks: Please no2 -
Why are you trying to multithreaded c++ file i/o? If you can't write c++ code that's faster than your hard drive, please just don't write c++.
Literally no complex calculations, just some insane string formatting.10 -
Well! Interview at Amazon done! Really nice people with a good mentality. Nothing left but to cross fingers!2
-
why do cooperate companies insist in using IE. IE is stupid 😟 I can't take IE's shit, man.
Me : "please install chrome on users computers.."
them: "no we are upgrading to IE 10 today.."
me: " but whyy? 😟.. at least upgrade to IE 11 😟"1 -
Have no words. Just got an email from a recruiter for a 6 months contract in a vendor company for a position....the final customer will be my current employer where I am already working as a full time employee. No mistakes because it is a very specific role.
At least please read the CV when you have one!2 -
I NEED MORE ANIMATED RANTS!
NOW!
no please make more of them they were amazing, especially the GODDAM SOUNDS AT THE BEGINNING AND THE END! SO FUCKING AMAZING!3 -
When the meeting organizer gets to the end and says "I'll give you back 20 minutes of your day". 🤬
No sir, plonking a meeting in my calendar doesn't mean you now own an hour of my day. No no no. You are not being a saint giving me back time. The truth is you just took 40 minutes of my time! 40 minutes I can't get back. It's gone. Forever.
Please be respectful of that next time you're planning a pointless meeting5 -
You think you are fucked until you realize that Matt Daemon is lost in mars with win xp.damn you nasa, you cheap bastards! (photo taken by me during the film) no spoilers please, i haven't finished it yet1
-
Keeping the clients happy is very important but when you have alot of shit to do, being a glorified helpdesk bugs me the fuck out. My inbox is screaming at me: "Please no more... Master please end me!".
-
* yes, I have seen the new iPhone
* no, I'm still happy with my current one
* actually I think lots of high-end Android phones are very good too
* will you please stop talking about the sodding headphone jack you're driving me insane please stop please oh god it's happening again I did warn you but you didn't listen you wouldn't stop and now look what you made me do this is all your fault they'll never take me alive1 -
Setting up a mail server is the worst experience I ever had. And whoever took part in the invention of these evil pieces shall get hit by doves, round cubes and get lost in /home/minzkraut/mbox FOREVER!!
HECK!5 -
Maybe you already know it and I’m just retarded.. but if not, try out kodi + Exodus add-on👌
Most comfortable streaming I’ve ever experienced.
(Here in my country streaming is completely legal so no hate please:))4 -
When the team lead announces you have to pick a team name for the mobile software devs. No seriously I have until tomorrow otherwise we get called team Poloni because of a poorly chosen color once. Ideas please! So far we have hackslash, A-team (Android Apple) or Swifty Java 😜13
-
I have no experiences with dev teachers because I simply didn't finished high school yet..
But next year you will meet a lot of ranting about teachers (Please not actually😂) -
In work we use TFS (no judgement please) but I love creating shelvesets with obtuse names like
"The Evil Is everywhere in here"
"Dragons within"
"I See the Devil in this Code"2 -
Designer said to put app title below app bar on every screen. I suggested to put title on app bar. He said no. We released the app. Now he says, please could you change the titles to the app bar. What a waste of time.
-
so this is the first time i am actively denied content because i am not easily traceable. what about no?
translates to:
dear readers, unfortunately there is a problem displaying our content. please open the article with another browser.
displayed using ddg-mobile browser2 -
Well played Alexanderr. If only, you stopped wasting time and put some aside to improve yourselves but no, you'd rather keep crying for me.
Well then, do as you please. And get rekt.6 -
The worst is on an ATM Card,
"This ATM card is property of the bank if found please return it"
No place to explain how to use it2 -
I hate it when you ask a question on so and include the complete code and everything and just get a -1 and no comment or anything.
What the hell. I doing wrong, please tell me !!!5 -
Hi guys, anyone knows about Google App Engine custom runtimes and CloudSQL?
Please answer my question on StackOverflow.
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/...
Looks like no one there cares about helping me...8 -
When your IT VP starts speaking blasphemy:
"Team,
We all know what’s going on with the API. Next week we may see 6x order volumes.
We need to do everything possible to minimize the load on our prod database server.
Here are some guidelines we’re implementing immediately:
· I’m revoking most direct production SQL access. (even read only). You should be running analysis queries and data pulls out of the replication server anyway.
· No User Management activities are allowed between 9AM and 9PM EST. If you’re going to run a large amount of updates, please coordinate with a DBA to have someone monitoring.
· No checklist setup/maintenance activities are allowed at all. If this causes business impact please let me know.
· If you see are doing anything in [App Name] that’s running long, kill it and get a DBA involved.
Please keep the communication level high and stay vigilant in protecting our prod environment!"
RIP most of what I do at work.3 -
"phone book of the internet"
Bitch please, we already know how the DNS works no need to remind me each time i create a domain5 -
Anyone else going to get one of the new pixel phones as well?
If so, why?
Please no negativity just want other peoples opinions on the pixel 2 :-)8 -
1. Reduce the number of web development technologies so that I can actually keep up.
2. Master Android development.
3. No more "Please hack a Facebook account for me". -
im feeling dizzy and sick as fuck both physically and mentally from this fucking college and im not even exaggerating
last time i asked how hard can life get was also the first and last time i asked that
please
no more11 -
Open software:
Error message: Failed to load x..
Why not tell:
Error message: Failed to load x. Please reinstall software.
or
Error message: Failed to load x. Remove cache folder located in "drive/somewhere" and try again.
or
Error message: Failed to load x. Please recreate x by using tool y and try again.
if software tells you no meaningful message and you have NO idea how to solve it.. it is one of those annoying things you have to deal with.
Why can't I just create features....4 -
Anyone with a realistic roadmap on how to go about Freelancing?
What should I look out for?
What your advise ( please no generic popular BS)?
What platform should I use ( it’s seem there are hundreds of platform already).
A roadmap is needed please.
Thank you in advance.8 -
Visiting a site about FOSS and it tells me:
"Note: We are experiencing technical issues with Firefox and our comment system. If you want to leave a comment, please use some other browser."
How about no?! *rage quit*
*popup appears right before leaving*
AARRRRGHHH!! *table flip*5 -
Seeing a lot of hate against PHP here. It used to be a shitty language with no decent frameworks, update yourselves please, it's getting embarrassing for you. WordPress, laravel, Zend. That's 60% of the web. We run this shit.7
-
Phpref tricked me into thinking my variable has no whitespaces in it. Damn. Fix your CSS please :D Debug the debugger :D1
-
The fuuuuuucckkkkk
black mirror - bandersnatch. This is some next level shit... I kept postponing watching this on netflix. Just watched it today.
It's so twisted on soooo many levels..
How many times did you watch it?
No spoilers please :)2 -
Just because I didn't know the direction to work on doesn't mean I didn't do shit
Also, aren't you the professor so you please tell me what to do
And no you don't need to focus on the sample dataset I'm working on. Yes its name is "Breast Cancer" SO WHAT!!!2 -
Xcode is frustratingly slow and horrible. They engineered it really badly. Why don't you just please collaborate with these intelligent Jetbrains guys? No, you won't do that because ego or because money is more important than your developers' happiness. I do not enjoy this career path to your ecosystem anymore.2
-
Facebook messenger app be like:
"Something went wrong, please try again"
No shit,when you r trying too make another snapchat app...1 -
Please please stop asking me every time I present some new feature if this is something we can patent - I have no f*cking idea and you’re missing the point!2
-
Dear the jackarse the wrote our highschool ComSci course.
Go fuck yourself. Pascal is deprecated long ago, no-one using it but you. You are dragging us down on the programming yet you want us to follow up "the great 4.0 revolution" while feeding us garbage from like what, the 90s? Please consider switching to some modern language, not necessarily the C family but please be something modern. And teach us to use the command line.
For the love of god
PTH6 -
The forEach in JavaScript makes no sense. It looks like a map /filter/reduce but doesn’t actually return the array. Can you please loop like a normal language?8
-
Homework for Informatics: Create a Powerpoint about yourself...
Me: That’s no homework, please let us create an app, site or something creative that’s something I prefer.
School life... development is so much nicerjoke/meme devlife developer school powerpoint microsoft office ios life swift xcode school project php1 -
Dear facebook/instagram
When in sandbox mode, please dont require https redirects, my localhost server has no concept of what an SSL cert is, its sandbox for a reason.5 -
My phone broke down yesterday
And... I'm not even mad. I think I have now started to inculcate that these physical things are not that necessary to be there to be happy enough
BTW I did get a spare smartphone from my friend so that I'll be in touch with others via whatsapp.
Also, what phones do you suggest for under ₹20k given the fact that as of now I'm not in mood to buy a Chinese phone
I'm currently thinking about Samsung A50 4GB variant4 -
Blue light toxicity is real. Please use blue light filters fellow dev. Especially at night when no other light is on. You only have one set of eyes.12
-
When interviewing people still ask me if I work with Eclipse. I'm Android dev, why should I ever work with that piece of sh*t of an non-IDE?
Please just don't ask for Eclipse. No sane androider uses it. I don't like to waste my life using the worst software ever made. I would even say that no one should be using it. NetBeans is better, IntelliJ is best.2 -
1. Explain docker in layman's term (example to your Grandma)
2. Explain in detail why docker is good and fast compared to any related traditional virtualization like VirtualBox, vagrant, etc.
3. If you are going to migrate an existing Symfony application to Laravel from scratch, what will you migrate first in order to make it efficient. Model, view or controller? And why?3 -
Me: Could you please answer these questions? [paste link of the story I am working on]
My PM: I will give you feedback today.
Me: Thx.
Wake up. See no answers. ....
and the PM is on vacation for 2 weeks.
Sigh.1 -
Hi, please advise me on your best price/quality reseller of supermicro servers, no refurbished, preferrably germany cause they are cheaper compared in belgium...1
-
Please format issues and PRs correctly. As an open source maintainer it's already hard enough to respond to all of your demands.
But when you make an issue with the title of "error in app.js" with NO DESCRIPTION, and then think you're entitled to ME FIXING IT?!?
Please know that we do this for (mostly) free, and try to make our lives easier by giving us a detailed description of what is going on.
Thanks. -
petition to bad anyone to posts a tik tok on devRant
i feel like it's almost inevitably going to happen. please god no5 -
SeniorDev(in code review): Yeah, I know this is wrong but I will look into it later
Me: Can you please mention the ticket you have created to look into it later
[JuniorDev gives me a high five for sticking to our coding principles. No sweeping under the rug! Felt awesome.] -
Another part of messy network gone.
Caching fucked me hard....
Isn't it just lovely that nowadays you need to nearly wipe a machine to get it from claiming stale data....
And thanks to DNS, HAProxy -/ service names / ... I think I know now why the curse of babel is so powerful.
When you have to think for 2 mins to make sure you've set the zone's right, cause otherwise you need to ProxyJump with SSH through more tunnels than imaginable (VPN/HO) to fix possible caching on several DNS servers.... You'll realize that it's russian roulette with too much bullets. :(
And If a monitoring service asks another monitoring service for status information which asks the first monitoring service which then asks the second monitoring cause you were too late...
You'll get very funky monitoring statistics.
Too slow, had to nuke it (mismatched a DNS name, the second monitoring service should have been a service node).
I think I've had more near death scenarios in the last 2 weeks than I like.
Hopefully I'll never have to do that again.
(Splitting and reordering a few dozen VLANs, assigning proper DNS names, loadbalancer migration....) -
I'm taking a beginners course on java. After I'm done I want to do a tiny project.
I want you guys to suggest what I should build as I have no idea where to begin. It's my first language so suggest easy projects please.7 -
!rant
X company offered 3.8 LPA in INR which has good work environment, culture and team. Current company has no environment and only team of 2 (mostly 1) is offering 6 now. Help me please what shall I do?
P.S : For Android developer position4 -
laptop suggestions please:
- 13-14 inch screen
- min 8 gb ram (preferably 16)
- 128 gb storage
- i5 or i7
- 1200 x 800 resolution
- can run linux (no driver issues)
- can run flutter, android studio, and emulator
- $500 or less6 -
Can anybody recommed a simple UI-Library for React? Can't evaluate them because I've never used one.
And please no Bootstrap-stuff, I have seen too much of it.12 -
Python Developers, if you are working on a python project or Library developers(python)(3rd party) please move to Python3 there's no need to get stuck on python2. it's fucking horrible when those dependencies break.
-
The disaster that happen when you work in a web designing and hosting agency with no technical lead. Everybody is going wild here.... Shoot me please!
-
No... changing the design that was ready 3 months ago, a week before release is not a big deal and yes we should add more complex features while we’re at it. Please tell about all your great ideas I should implement :-/
-
I'am trying to monetize my vuejs app
But google is telling me that there is no content inside my website
And of course there is no content because vuejs render engine compress everything in JavaScript
What the hell is this?😠😨😨😨.
So should i conclude that frameworks app cannot be monetize?
Please tell me no
So how can i monetize it?7 -
So we got this new teacher last year. He is a decent programmer but has never made anything using C#.
When he had to start teaching it to the first year students he wanted to practice.
He made 1 cli program that only used 1 class besides main and that wasn't even used properly.
His words after he was finished: "I'm now a C# expert"
What!? No you're not! Why don't you just take the student course so you know what you have to teach next week!? -
New game on steam, Middle-earth.
Showing absolutely no in game footage and asks you to pre-order for some bullwhip award.
Don't pre-order, please kill this type of behavior.
What is it even, rpg, rts?2 -
TWENTY GIGABYTES!?!? I go to install Xamarin so I could work on a cross-platform project. My C drive is minimal in size and Windows doesn't let you install programs on the D drive. This is madd a billion times worse because Windows 10 treats secondary uard drives just like SD cards! Seriously? TWENTY for that framework?2
-
There are no program's faster in letting me jump of mountain than mysql workbench. For fuck sake, every action I need to wait for 5 seconds to let it respond. Let me do my work please.5
-
Been playing Minecraft for years. I had to watch a video on how to eat cake in Minecraft. I had no clue that you could eat the cake. I always thought that the cake was a lie.
Can someone please make a rap song out of this?3 -
Need to add funcionality into badly written code. Moral problem: I don't want to even look on that code, but I don't have time enough to rewrite that part.2
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Don't have a manger/boss/mentor. Please give me an advice (coding/best practices, no 'life is to be lived' shit) which will help me in the long run.. Thank you..4
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! challenge
Who here knows this: "Big word alert (break the glass)"?
(no Google Search allowed please)5 -
I swear, I swear this is going to be the last (the best, also, but mostly the last) webdev gig I'm gonna do. SO. FED. UP.
When I end this, I have one month I want to spend in refining some other tech related skill. The main two points needed: a decent pay, a fair amount of free time (I have to study along that: math major, my singing/piano/maybe other stuff too during the year). What do you suggest? Linux sysadmin is a thing I can reasonably become in that windows of time or at least compatible with my needs? Because it catchs my eye. 😵 -
Did you know that theres no real long in php (if so, please tell me how to cast..)?
And did you know that mongodb decides what it puts into it's collection?
I have no idea how to force it to set an int64 instead of int32..5 -
I've set one of my contacts' ringtone to the "IT Crowd" (I haven't actually watched that series yet) "NO! God please NO!" audio bit so I know when that specific person is calling me... I'm glad I don't get his calls anymore, or not as often as they were...1
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Why do you ask “can you {do this/that}” when “no” is not an option? Why don’t dare dare to say “please {do this/that}”?
Yeah nah I’m still gonna say no. But fuck your hypocrisy too9 -
> me when angry
" what the fuck you stupid dev stop doing crappy shit"
> me when trying to do stuff
#!/bin/bash set -e
echo "no please"
exit 0
I should stop blaming devs for doing crappy stuff -
If you are answering a yes or no question with an overcomplicated explanation just to show off, and in the end it turns out it was 99% either yes or no, then please go fuck yourself.3
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What is software development like where you live? Would you say it's good/modern or bad/outdated?
For example, in Peru (this has a degree of truth of up to 95%):
- React isn't even a thing (nevermind RN)
- Everything uses Angular
- No Django, no Rails, no Express. Everything Laravel, CodeIgniter and .NET
- No NoSQL
- Objective-C >> Swift
- AWS? cPanel!
- No testing
Of course I focused on the "bad" part, but maybe this is what rants are for :) And I haven't said anything about salaries 😪
What about you? And please don't forget to mention your country.2 -
Please help me, I need a vertical mouse but the mice I see are trash, they last for a few months, please help.
I need it to have adjustable dpi via software, left/right button/mouse wheel and no more than that.12 -
Please recommend me some good tutorials/articles/series to learn the latest Spring Framework. Anything at all. Most of the tutorials I found we outdated. And no, the docs were not helpful. Sorry for asking it here but help a brother out.2
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So I'm going to work on a project with a webapp and mobile applications. I look at this monstrosity that sends username and pass as plain json and there is almost no sparation of concerns, along with very little documentation. Please save me1
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Fuck <input type="time"> and it's automatic local system input presentation, there seems to be no way to force a format(without JS) discarding the local language preferences.
I'm going to split the time input in two <select>. Peace.
PS: AM/PM system, please die. -
Work today as a student: trying to unterstand CERN code - 50 member variables, no local variables - can you please practice some c++??
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Anyone here watched Westworld and just kept waiting for the technical parts? No spoilers please, I still have 2-3 episodes to go :)1
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What is your opinion of having a LinkedIn profile with such details? Will it help or will it hurt? For me, I think it's too much.
https://linkedin.com/in/...
Please remain civil and no troll attacks.3 -
Typescript , Covfefesript, Sass and all the other javascript, CSS mongrels suck. Let them die out please. No offense.7
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never thought i'd live around twice to see richard nixon get humped up the butt by aliens. 'please no not that !' heh2
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Any Fiverr expert could help me please, I have added new gigs to my account and the impressions and clicks are increasing everyday but I've got no orders for 2 weeks. It's quite strange to me.2
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Just wasted two hours finding out why one of our clients rest API is not working. Apparently it needs a referer header for no good reason and this is no where to be found in the documentation...
It is great that you even have documentation, but please include all basic details!! -
==rant
Linkedin can you please remove this No Thanks button from the mobile app. Its the second time I pressed it while I was actually trying to press the Back button, for a job opportunity message from a company I am interested in. 🤦♂️ -
Dear provider, COULD YOU PLEASE SENT ME YOUR DSL INSTALLATION CODE BEFORE YOU TURN A COMPANYS INTERNET DOWN??? SRSLY this is the biggest bs. No phone no mail since 8am, new hardware won't work without this fkking code.
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40GB with 4g on the phone
12Mbits/0.5Mbits (down/up) Adsl at home (no fiber close-by)
Please France... -
No one: ...
Me in Monday morning: "The mysqli extension is missing. please check your php configuration. wamp" -
We, programmers are really dedicate our time not just to copy and paste like no brainer. Well I believe there's no brainer out there. But it's not us. We sometimes even forget how to talk with human being. Please understand us you pighead.
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So, I am in the last stages of development of a really big project and I need to figure out a way to package future patches and updates for the client in order for them to manually update the project on prod server.
For reasons I cannot specify here, they will not use any automated process, and we need to provide regular patches and updates for the next year.
So I was thinking of using git archive to package changed files from our repo for every new commit, or series of commits, and just give them that, along with any database schema updates as sql files (again, no automation can be used).
We are talking about a large PHP + MySQL app, and cannot use automated deployment strategies.
I feel there must be a better way to do this, but this is the best I could come up with so far.
What do you people think?
Any ideeas?