When you stare into git, git stares back.

It's fucking infinite.

Me 2 years ago:
"uh was it git fetch or git pull?"

Me 1 year ago:
"Look, I printed these 5 git commands on a laptop sticker, this is all I need for my workflow! branch, pull, commit, merge, push! Git is easy!"

Me now:
"Hold my beer, I'll just do git format-patch -k --stdout HEAD..feature -- script.js | git am -3 -k to steal that file from your branch, then git rebase master && git rebase -i HEAD~$(git rev-list --count master..HEAD) to clean up the commit messages, and a git branch --merged | grep -v "\*" | xargs -n 1 git branch -d to clean up the branches, oh lets see how many words you've added with git diff --word-diff=porcelain | grep -e '^+[^+]' | wc -w, hmm maybe I should alias some of this stuff..."

Do you have any git tricks/favorites which you use so often that you've aliased them?

Finally did it. Quit my job.

The full story:
Just came back from vacation to find out that pretty much all the work I put at place has been either destroyed by "temporary fixes" or wiped clean in favour of buggy older versions. The reason, and this is a direct quote "Ari left the code riddled with bugs prior to leaving".

Oh no. Oh no I did not you fucker.

Some background:

My boss wrote a piece of major software with another coder (over the course of month and a balf). This software was very fragile as its intention was to demo specific features we want to adopt for a version 2 of it.

I was then handed over this software (which was vanilajs with angular) and was told to "clean it up" introduce a typing system, introduce a build system, add webpack for better module and dependency management, learn cordova (because its essential and I had no idea of how it works). As well as fix the billion of issues with data storage in the software. Add a webgui and setup multiple databses for data exports from the app. Ensure that transmission of the data is clean and valid.

What else. This software had ZERO documentation. And I had to sit my boss for a solid 3hrs plus some occasional questions as I was developing to get a clear idea of whats going on.

Took a bit over 3 weeks. But I had the damn thing ported over. Cleaned up. And partially documented.

During this period, I was suppose to work with another 2 other coders "my team". But they were always pulled into other things by my Boss.

During this period, I kept asking for code reviews (as I was handling a very large code base on my own).

During this period, I was asking for help from my boss to make sure that the visual aspect of the software meets the requirements (there are LOTS of windows, screens, panels etc, which I just could not possibly get to checking on my own).

At the end of this period. I went on vacation (booked by my brothers for my bday <3 ).

I come back. My work is null. The Boss only looked at it on the friday night leading up to my return. And decided to go back to v1 and fix whatever he didnt like there.

So this guy calls me. Calls me on a friggin SUNDAY. I like just got off the plane. Was heading to dinner with my family.
He and another coder have basically nuked my work. And in an extremely hacky way tied some things together to sort of work. Moreever, the webguis that I setup for the database viewing. They were EDITED ON THE PRODUCTION SERVER without git tracking!!

So monday. I get bombarded with over 20 emails. Claiming that I left things in an usuable state with no documentation. As well as I get yelled at by my boss for introducing "unnecessary complicated shit".

For fuck sakes. I was the one to bring the word documentation into the vocabulary of this company. There are literally ZERO documentated projects here. While all of mine are at least partially documented (due to lack of time).

For fuck sakes, during my time here I have been basically begging to pull the coder who made the admin views for our software and clean up some of the views so that no one will ever have to touch any database directly.

To say this story is the only reason I am done is so not true.

I dedicated over a year to this company. During this time I saw aspects of this behaviour attacking other coders as well as me. But never to this level.

I am so friggin happy that I quit. Never gonna look back.

Confessions of a Programmer

#1
If a client is an unbearable asshole during the initial communication, I look for every excuse to pad on the hours for the estimate to get paid more. If a client goes above and beyond in their douchbaggery, I tack on an additional $40/hour.

#2
Sometimes I will present an elaborate solution to a client, but really I'm just reading off the features of a plugin or library I'm going to download or buy after the call. Not because I can't build it myself, but because I'd rather spend more time on other/my own projects.

#3
Clients assume because I know one language, I know them all. Rather than turning down the work, I take a crash course to work in that language, or outsource the work and clean it up afterwards, whichever is more practical at the time.

#4
I use cPanel on a dedicated to manage our client websites. I'm not paid enough to bother with setting up everything manually.

#5
Certain projects I build have a 3-day backdoor built into it. If the client doesn't pay upon completion, a unique hash triggered as a GET variable deletes a core file in my work, rendering the work useless. If it wasn't triggered by the 4th day, the file allowing me to trigger this backdoor is removed. This is only used for clients where the project must be launched on their servers, or if there has been a previous issue collecting payment.

#6
I slip in the initial contract that all preceeding phone calls will be monitored and recorded, and that they acknowledge the recordings are admissable in court. This has saved me from losing money twice now.

#7
I have never used an IDE. (I know, I know, it's really inefficient and dumb, but I'm just more comfortable with Sublime. Plus I often find myself mobile and without my computer, so I have to program from my phone.)

#8
Each day resembles a betting spectacle of which work will be late, which will be rushed out and which will never see the light of day.

#9
I have used "sick" and "family emergency" as an excuse to just sleep in far more than I can count.

#10
When a client from hell crosses over the line in their conduct (such as getting very nasty and personal, or sending threats), I anonymously report them to the BBB and on RipOffReport.

Navy story time, and this one is lengthy.
As a Lieutenant Jr. I served for a year on a large (>100m) ship, with the duties of assistant navigation officer, and of course, unofficial computer guy. When I first entered the ship (carrying my trusty laptop), I had to wait for 2 hours at the officer's wardroom... where I noticed an ethernet plug. After 15 minutes of waiting, I got bored. Like, really bored. What on TCP/IP could possibly go wrong?
So, scanning the network it is. Besides the usual security holes I came to expect in ""military secure networks"" (Windows XP SP2 unpatched and Windows 2003 Servers, also unpatched) I came along a variety of interesting computers with interesting things... that I cannot name. The aggressive scan also crashed the SMB service on the server causing no end of cute reactions, until I restarted it remotely.
But me and my big mouth... I actually talked about it with the ship's CO and the electronics officer, and promptly got the unofficial duty of computer guy, aka helldesk, technical support and I-try-to-explain-you-that-it-is-impossible-given-my-resources guy. I seriously think that this was their punishment for me messing around. At one time I received a call, that a certain PC was disconnected. I repeatedly told them to look if the ethernet cable was on. "Yes, of course it's on, I am not an idiot." (yea, right)
So I went to that room, 4 decks down and 3 sections aft. Just to push in the half-popped out ethernet jack. I would swear it was on purpose, but reality showed me I was wrong, oh so dead wrong.
For the full year of my commission, I kept pestering the CO to assign me with an assistant to teach them, and to give approval for some serious upgrades, patching and documenting. No good.
I set up some little things to get them interested, like some NMEA relays and installed navigation software on certain computers, re-enabled the server's webmail and patched the server itself, tried to clean the malware (aka. Sisyphus' rock), and tried to enforce a security policy. I also tried to convince the CO to install a document management system, to his utter horror and refusal (he was the hard copy type, as were most officers in the ship). I gave up on almost all besides the assistant thing, because I knew that once I left, everything would go to the high-entropy status of carrying papers around, but the CO kept telling me that would be unnecessary.
"You'll always be our man, you'll fix it (sic)".
What could go wrong?
I got my transfer with 1 week's notice. Panic struck. The CO was... well, he was less shocked than I expected, but still shocked (I learned later that he knew beforehand, but decided not to tell anybody anything). So came the most rediculous request of all:
To put down, within 1 A4 sheet, and in simple instructions, the things one had to do in order to fulfil the duties of the computer guy.
I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.
My answer:
"What I can do is write: 'Please read the following:', followed by the list of books one must read in order to get some introductory understanding of network and server management, with most accompanying skills."
I was so glad I got out of that hellhole.

To be a good developer, you must thrive in chaos, and have an insatiable desire to turn it into order.

All user input, both work tasks and actual application input, is pure fucking chaos.

The only way to turn that input into anything usable, is to interpret, structure and categorize it, to describe the rules for transformation as adequately as you can.

Sometimes companies create semi-helpful roles to assist you with this process. Often, these people are so unaware of the delicacy of the existing chaos, that any decision they make just ripples out in waves leaving nearly irreparable confusion and destruction in its path.

So applications themselves also slowly wear down into chaos under pressure of chaotic steak-holders which never seem to be able to choose between peppercorn or bernaise sauce for their steaks.

Features are added, data is migrated between formats, rules become unclear. Is ketchup even fucking valid, as a steak sauce?

The only way to preserve an application long term, is refactoring chaos into order.

But... the ocean of chaos will never end.

You must learn to swim in it.

All you can hope to do is create little pools of clarity where new creative ideas can freely spawn.

Ideas which will no doubt end up polluting their own environment, but that's a problem for tomorrow.

So you must learn to deal with the infinite stream of perplexed reactions from those who can't attach screenshots to issue reports.

You must deflect dragging conversations from those who never quite manage to translate gut feeling into rational sentences.

You must learn to deal with the fact that in reality there are no true microservice backends. There are no clean React frontends. There are no normalized databases. Full test coverage, well-executed retrospectives, finished sprints -- they are all as real as spherical cows in a vacuum.

There is no such thing as clean code.

There is only "relatively cleaner code", and even then there are arguments as to why it would be "subjectively relatively cleaner code".

Every repository, every product, every team and every company is an amalgamation of half-implemented ideals, well-intended tug of war games, and brilliantly shattered dreams.

You will encounter fragmented shards of perfect APIs, miles of tangled barbed documentation, beheaded validator classes, bloody mangled corpses of analytical dashboards, crumbled concrete databases.

You must be able to breathe in those thick toxic clouds of rotting technical and procedural debt, look at your reflection in the locker room mirror while you struggle yourself into a hazmat suit, and think:

"Fuck yes, I was born for this job".

A couple of months back I got an interview for a junior android devel position. I do not consider myself a junior devel, bt fuck it they paid 78k a year plus benefits and this is for south texas where it ain't thaaat expensive. So i kept my mouth shut and went with it.
The company was glorious, one of those hipsert marketing companies with cool couches and shit and people doing fuckign whatever all over the place and cool tools and desks.

So the initial interview with the hr dept went amazing, real cool guys and very down to earth. Next was the senior android dev.

This dude.

It was to be a phone interview, with a lil coding test. Fine whatevs. But the moment he called i knew shit was going down hill. Dude sounded dead af. Like he could not stand being himself that day. Asked asshole questions that every developer in Android should know that were frankly quite insulting ("what company develops the Android os" kind of deal) but kept my mouth shut and answered as needed.

Then the coding portion. Given a string, find the first position of the first repeated char, so if I had , fuck i dunno "tetas" then t was the first (and only) char repeated and it should have given out 2.
Legit finished it up in less than 6 mins and only because he was making me explain my entire thought process.

He got angry for some reason. Mind you I speak like a hippie, with a melow town and calm voice all the damned time, got that Texas swag going on as well as any good ol' boy from Texas should right?
Well this dude was not having none of that shit that day.

Dude was all like "ok now....why exactly did you do it this way?"

With a VERY condescending tone. And i explained that at first I normally think about solutions in pseudocode, so I wrote that as well...1 min or less. In python. This is after I still had the Java solution on screen with perfectly clean and working Java. I saif that since Python was as close to pseudocode as it gets that I figured i would just write the "pseudocode" in python and then map it to Java with all the required modifications.

"Welk i did not ask you to write it in java, so i dunno why you would even do that to begin with"

That is one of many asshole remarks. The first when I mentioned that I found React Native good for prototyping complex ideas for FUCKING FUN. Passion motherfucker. Shit so fly I do it for fun. "We don't deal with that here so I am not interested in what you can do with that or how would it help me"

Mofocka plz.

Well going back to the python shit. I explain (calmly) that it was just a way that I had to figure details, to think of different implementations. He continues by saying that it takes valuable company time.

Then he proceeds to tell me that he believes that i cheated since i fi ished the java "problem" too fast.
I told him that simple stuff like that should take even less for any senior java dev and that we could run another example if he wanted.
Bring it puto.
But no.

He then said that he still did not understand the need for Python in my solution. I lost it.

"Look man, getting real tired of your tone, i explained already, it is just a mental process, i do this when comming up with solutions, thinking in theory, not languages, helps me bridge the gap between problem and implementation, the solution works, it is efficient and fast and i can do it in 5 diff ways if you wanted, i offered and you said no. Don't really know what else you want"

"All i am saying, i am not going to hire you if you are going to be writing Python for Android, that is useless to me"

Lost it more.

I do sound different when pissed. So I basically told him that he asked for my reasoning behind and it was given, that not getting it was a you problem.

Sooooo did not get the job. Was relieved really. Can't imagine having a twat like that as a lead devel.

Why are job postings so bad?
Like, really. Why?

Here's four I found today, plus an interview with a trainwreck from last week.
(And these aren't even the worst I've found lately!)

------

Ridiculous job posting #1:
* 5 years React and React Native experience -- the initial release of React Native was in May 2013, apparently. ~5.7 years ago.
* Masters degree in computer science.
* Write clean, maintainable code with tests.
* Be social and outgoing.

So: you must have either worked at Facebook or adopted and committed to both React and React Native basically immediately after release. You must also be in academia (with a masters!), and write clean and maintainable code, which... basically doesn't happen in academia. And on top of (and really: despite) all of this, you must also be a social butterfly! Good luck ~

------

Ridiculous job posting #2:
* "We use Ruby on Rails"
* A few sentences later... "we love functional programming and write only functional code!"

Cue Inigo Montoya.

------

Ridiculous job posting #3:
* 100% remote! Work from anywhere, any time zone!
* and following that: You must have at least 4 work hours overlap with your coworkers per day.
* two company-wide meetups per quarter! In fancy places like Peru and Tibet! ... TWO PER QUARTER!?

Let me paraphrase: "We like the entire team being remote, together."

------

Ridiculous job posting #4:
* Actual title: "Developer (noun): Superhero poised to change the world (apply within)"
* Actual excerpt: "We know that headhunters are already beating down your door. All we want is the opportunity to earn our right to keep you every single day."
* Actual excerpt: "But alas. A dark and evil power is upon us. And this… ...is where you enter the story. You will be the Superman who is called upon to hammer the villains back into the abyss from whence they came."

I already applied to this company some time before (...surprisingly...) and found that the founder/boss is both an ex cowboy dev and... more than a bit of a loon. If that last part isn't obvious already? Sheesh. He should go write bad fantasy metal lyrics instead.

------

Ridiculous interview:
* Service offered for free to customers
* PHP fanboy angrily asking only PHP questions despite the stack (Node+Vue) not even freaking including PHP! To be fair, he didn't know anything but PHP... so why (and how) is he working there?
* Actual admission: No testing suite, CI, or QA in place
* Actual admission: Testing sometimes happens in production due to tight deadlines
* Actual admission: Company serves ads and sells personally-identifiable customer information (with affiliate royalties!) to cover expenses
* Actual admission: Not looking for other monetization strategies; simply trying to scale their current break-even approach.

------

I find more of these every time I look. It's insane.
Why can't people be sane and at least semi-intelligent?

The Orange Juice Saga ....

I've just come off one of the stupidest calls ever.

Firstly, I am not in tech support, I'm a software developer - read the below with this in mind.

My client called up to say the system I created as been compromised. When he attempts to login, he is logged off his Windows machine.

He'd also apparently taken his PC to ***insert large UK computer superstore here***, who took £100 plus to look at the machine and conclude his needs to buy a new PC.

I remoted into his computer to see WTF was going on.

As he described, visiting my login form did log you out. In fact, whenever you pressed the "L" key you were logged out. Press the "M" key, all windows were minimized. Basically, all Windows hotkeys appeared to be active, without the need to press the Windows key.

Whilst connected to his PC I spent a good 30 minutes checking keyboard settings and came up short.

After asking all the normal questions (has anything changed on your PC, have you installed stuff lately etc.) without any useful answers I got nothing.

I then came across an article stating several presses of the Windows in quick succession will solve the issue.

I got the client to try this, pressed the "L" key (which would have logged me off previously) and the issue was resolved.

Basically, the Windows key was "stuck", which oddly makes your PC kind of useless.

I asked the client if they'd split anything on the keyword whilst working. His exact word were simply lol:

"Oh yer, yesterday, I was trying to drink a glass of orange quickly and split some in the corner of keyboard. I did clean it up quickly though".

Yep, the issue was due to the client spilling orange juice on their keyboard , which in turn made the Windows key stick.

Disaster averted.

A call that started with the client stating I made a system that was easily compromised (i.e. my fault), morphed into a sorry saga of cold drinks.

The client did ask why the ***superstore name*** charged him money for that and recommended a new machine. That is a good question and demonstrated some the questionable tech support practices we see nowadays, even at very large stores.

To be fair to the client, he told me to bill him for half a days work as it was his own fault.

When I'm able to stop myself involuntarily face palming, I'm off for a swim to unwind :)

An intern I was supposed to lead (as an intern) and work with. Which sounded kinda crazy to me, but also fun so I rolled with it. But when I met her I quickly found out she didn't even have a coding editor installed and when I advised one she was "scared of virusses". She had Microsoft Edge in her toolbar, and some picture of a cat as a background. We were given some project by our boss, and a freelance programmer helped us set it up on Trello. Great, lets start! Oke maybe first some R&D, she had to reaeach how to use the Twilio API. After catching her on WhatsApp a few times I realised this wasnt gonna go anywere. After a few weeks of coding and posting a initial project to git I asked her if she could show me the code of the API she made so far..

She told me she was using the quickstart guide (the last 3 FUCKING weeks) which contained some test project with specific use cases.

The one that I did 3 weeks ago that same fucking morning.

AND SHE WAS STILL NOT DONE...

A few days later I asked her about the progress (strangly, I wasn't allowed ti give her another task bcs the freelanc already did) and guess what... She got fking pissed at me

Her: "I will come to you when im done, ok?"
Me: "I just want to see how it is going so far and if you are running into any problems!"
Her: "I dont want to show you right now"

She then goes to my fucking boss to tell him I am bothering her.

And omg... Please dear god please kill me now...

Instead of him saying the she probably didn't do shit. He says to me that the girl thinks im looking down on her and she needs a stress free environment to work in. She will show me when its done. ITS A FUCKING QUICKSTART GUIDE YOU DUMB BITCH.

He then procceeded to whine to me about the email template (another project I do at the same time) which didn't look perfect in all of his clients.

Dont they understand that I am not a frontend developer? Can you stop please? I know nothing about email templates, I told you this!!!

Really... the whole fucking internship the only thing the girl did was ask people if they want more tea. Then she starts cleaning the windows, talk to people for an hour, or clean everyone's dask.

all this while I already made 50% of the fucking product and she just finished the quickstart tutorial 😭. Truly 2 months wasted, and the worse thing is I didn't get any apprication. They constantly blamed me and whined at me. Sometimes for being 3 minutes late, the other for smoking too much, or because I drink to much coffee, or that I dont eat healthy. They even forced me to play Ping Pong. While im just trying to do my job. One of the worst things they got mad at me for if when my laptop got hacked bcs it was infected with some virus. He had remote access and bought 5 iPhones 6's with my paypal while I was on break. I had to go home and quickly reset all my passwords and make sure the iPhones wouldnt get delivered. strange this was, this laptop I only used at the company. So it must have been software I had to download there. Probably phpstorm (torrent). Bcs nobody would give me a license. And the freelancer said I * have to *.

the monday after I still had to reinstall windows so I called them and said I would be late. when I came they were so disrepectfull and didn't understand anything. It went a little like this:

Boss: why u late?
Me: had to reinstall my laptop, sorry.
Boss: why didnt you do this in your own time?
Me: well, I didn't have any time.
Boss: cant you do this in the weekend or something? Because now we have to pay you several hours bcs you downloaded something at home.

Me: I am only using this laptop for work so thats not possible.

Boss: how can that even be possible? You are not doing anything at home with your laptop? Is that why you never do anything at home?

Me: uhm, I have desktop computer you know. Its much faster. And I also need to rest sometimes. Areeb (freelancer) told me to torrent the software. He gave me the link. 2 days later this happends

Boss: Ahh okeee I see.. Well dont let it happen again.

After that nobody at the compamy trusted me with anything computer related. Yes it was my own fault I downloaded a virus but it can happen to anyone. After that I never used Windows again btw, also no more auto login apps.

Am I the only one who doesn't like putting things—such as stickers—on my laptop?

I like the clean and clear look of my lenovo thinkpad without cluttering it with stickers.

Never have I been so furious whilst at work as yesterday, I am still super pissed about going back today but knowing it's only for another few weeks makes it baerable.

I have been the lead developer on a project for the last 3~ months and our CTO is the product owner. So every now and then he decides to just work on a feature he is interested in- fair enough I guess. But everything I have to go and clean up his horrendous code. Everything he writes is an absolute joke, it's like he is constantly in Hackathon mode "let's just copy and paste some code here, hardcoded shit there and forgot about separation of code- it all goes in 1 file".

So yesterday he added a application to the project and instead of reusing a shared data access layer he added an entirely new ORM, which is near identical to the existing ORM in use, for this one application.

Being anal about these things, the first thing I did was delete his shit and simply reference the shared library then refactor a little code to make it compatible.

WELL!! I certainly hit a nerve, he went crazy spamming messages on Slack demanding I revert as it broke ONE SINGLE QUERY that he hadn't checked in (he does 1 huge commit for 10 of everyone else's). I stuck to my principals and explained both ORM's are similar and that we only needed one, the second would cause a fragmented codebase for no benefit whatsoever.

The lead Dev was then forced to come and convince me to revert, again I refused and called out the shit quality of their code. The battle raged on via the public slack group and I could hear colleagues enjoying the heated debate, new users even started joining the group just to get in on mine and the cto's difference of opinion.

I even offered to fix his code for him if he were to commit it, obviously that was not taken well ;).

Once I finally got a luck at the cluster fuck of shit he had written it took me around 5 minutes to fix and I ever improved performance. Regardless he was having none of it. Still the demands to revert continued.

I left the office steaming after long discussions with the lead Dev caught in the middle.

Fortunately my day was salvages with a positive technical discussion that evening at a company with whome I had a job offer from.

I really hate burning bridges and have never left a company under bad terms but this dictator is making me look forward to breaking the news today I will be gone in 4 weeks.

Boss comes in and gives me some js code for syncing data (he hacked it together the other day, really messy with like 5 callback lamdas stacked into each other)

Boss: Make it faster and more reliable and add some progress indicator

So i look at the code and he literally pulls all the data as one json (20+ MiB). Server needs multiple minutes to generate the response (lots of querys), sometimes even causing timeouts....

So i do what everyone would do and clean up the code, split the request into multiple ones, only fetching the necessary data and send the code back to my boss.

He comes in and asks me what all this complexity is about. And why i need 5 functions to do what he did in one. (He didn't -.-). He says he only told me to "make it faster and show progress" not "to split everything up".
So I ask him how he wants to do this over HTTP with just one request...
His response: "I don't care make it work!".

Sometimes i hate my job -.-

Apple has programmed an avatar maker in iMessage that generates emoji that are supposed to resemble the person. However it does not have any setting for facial structure to represent a person’s sex. I’m pretty sure they did it because “gender is a construct”.

When I was growing up I had some issues with gender dysphoria. I am male genetically. I was mistaken as female my whole childhood because I was “pretty”, my best friends were girls, and I liked cooking, drawing, and dancing. Puberty happened and I started to look like a man. I considered transitioning because I felt female but I decided to let my body do what it wants and do the things I like to do without worrying about if they are gendered or not. I am married and male and I like what I like.

This stupid iMessage avatar. I have tried my hardest to make it look like me. I have long hair and keep my facial hair clean. They don’t have a switch to change some facial physiological traits so I have this Memoji that looks like a woman with a slight hormonal imbalance. It makes me feel conflicted like I felt when I was young. I haven’t thought about it in years and now I feel like I have an uncomfortable secret female avatar that i carry around on my phone and I feel like I’m carrying a secret.

A persons genetics result in differences in facial structures. Biological sex is more than the length of hair and whether a person wears makeup. I hate this “sex is a construct” trend. I’m fine living my life, but then companies push this software onto my phone like propaganda. I want it to look as masculine as I look IRL.

a client wants a nice clean website that doesn't look like it's 10 years old. then they ask for like everything that made the old site terrible

So we had a dev on our team who was on a performance improvement plan, wasn't going to pass it, but decided to quit before it was over saving us 2 weeks.

I was ecstatic when he left (caused us hell). I knew updating his code wouldn't be great, but he was only here 6 months

"how bad could it be" - practiseSafeHex - moron, idiot, suicidal.

A little run down would be:

- Despite the fact that we use Angular 2+, one of his apps is Angular 1 ... Nobody on the team has ever used Angular 1.

- According to his package.json he seems to require both mongoDb and Cloudant (couchDb).

- Opened up a config file (in plaintext) to find all the API keys and tokens.

- Had to rename all the projects (micro services) because they are all following a different style of camelcase and it was upsetting my soul.

- All the projects have a "src" folder for ... you know ... the source code, except sometimes we've decided to not use it for you know, reasons.

- Indentation is a mess.

- He has ... its like ... ok I don't even know wtf that is suppose to be.

- Curly braces follow a different pattern depending on the file you open. Sometimes even what function you look at.

- The only comments, are ones that are not needed. For example 30+ lines of business logic and model manipulation ... no comment. But thank god we have a comment over `Fs.readFile(...)` saying /* Read the config file */. Praise Jesus for that one, would have taken me all week to figure that out.

Managers have been asking me how long the "clean up" will take. They've been pushing me towards doing as little as possible and just starting the new features on top of this ... this "code".

The answer will be ... no ... its getting deleted, any machine its ever been on is getting burned, and any mention of it will be grounds for death.

My boss is a grumpy 25 year oldish "Mr. I know it all". We all hate him for that attitude.
Just joining recently, the code base which I got introduced to was totally new and I was overwhelmed.
Boss told me to write an Sql query to wipe the table data. I being reckless wrote a query to wipe the table only and submitted it to my boss.
Few hourse later we were informed by our peers that a certain url was not working. On further investigating we found out that my boss carelessly copy and pasted my query and executed it which wiped an important table clean.
Now he doesn't talk to me straight and I can't look him in the eye because obviously I burst into laughter.
Job well done☺️

Apparently, part of being a software engineer means knowing how to read minds and do other people's jobs.

While implementing a user story for marketing, we found some associated features that, according to the database, have not been used for years. We tell them this. We do the courtesy of asking, "Hey, is there anything on the site that is utilizing these features? We'd like to clean up the DB."

"We don't know."

Engineering suggests, "Ok, lets turn the feature off, then, and see if anyone complains. It's been years according to the DB."

Marketing gets angry and hostile and says, "That's not the way to do things!"

I don't vocalize, "Well, not knowing how to do your own damned job is not the way to do things."
-
Marketing asks us to integrate a third party feature to the site. We ask, "Ok, what page do you want it on, and what information do you want to collect, and what should it look like?"

"I don't know. You're engineering. You tell us."

We implement it as best we can.

Marketing says, "HEY! This isn't done right! It's missing this and this and this!"

"Did you ask us to implement that? According to the user story, it passes acceptance criteria."

Marketing says, "I thought you would just know that! I didn't know it was a separate thing. Just put it on all the pages, then. You guys really should know the site better."

Engineering gets angry and hostile
-
Marketing says, "We need this removed from the site."

Engineering replies, "We have a GUI for that. Just go to this URL and you can do it yourself."

Marketing replies, "Well, if that's a really complicated thing, can you just run a script against the DB?"

Engineering says, "If we've built a UI for you, we really shouldn't be executing SQL scripts directly against the DB."

Marketing gets angry and hostile.
-
Engineering tries asking nicely.

"Marketing, if you want us to add new stuff to the site, or change stuff, please tell us what it is and where it should go and what the customer experience should be like."

Marketing replies, "We don't know the site that well. We are leaning on you to tell us."

I do not vocalize, all while trying to keep my eyes from bulging out of my head, my face red with rage, "YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF SELLING SHIT ON A WEBSITE THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. YOU ARE ASKING FOR CHANGES TO SOMETHING YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?"

Engineering is angry and hostile.

Stupid shitheads among the web designers, fucking listen up. Your fucking design is not the point of websites - the content is. You are not supposed to shove the content away to have your moron design shine in its purest debility.

Yeah I know, white space minimalism yadda yadda, clean interface - and you dumbasses just remove functionality to simulate a clean interface, to the point of using hamburger fuckups on desktop. Pull your heads out of your asses, that's not how to design an interface! Not to mention that you idiots still guzzle through the megabytes and dozens of domain lookups for your chickenshit minimalism.

While we're at it, not everyone is 20 years old like you youngsters - you won't believe it, but there is life beyond 40, and while such age is unthinkable to you because you are so dumb that you will hardly reach that age anyway, others on this planet have managed to get there. No 20/20 laser sight, you know.

Fuck you with your light grey thin fonts on white background because it looks "clean", it just SUCKS you wankers. Fuck you with your stupid ghost buttons that don't even look like a button. You know how to operate the shit you made, but reality check here, users spend most of their time on fucking other websites than on the abomination you have designed!

Get that into the shit bubble that you call your brain and read WCAG 2.1! That's not only for disabled people, but everyone will be able to use that shit better!

Hey. This code look broken. What should I do?

It isn't broken. It's doing what it's supposed to.

Well, it's hard to follow, but it certainly doesn't look right. And it isn't doing what I expect. Also, why is it calling method(a_class1_or_class2) with a class3?

It isn't hard to follow, and it works just fine. Let me show you. ... huh. looks like it isn't right. and there's a comment here saying the calls aren't clear. but it works just fine. Just copy it over and do it the same way.

I already did that. and it isn't working.

What are you talking about? Of course it works fine. Did you check your code?

------

Really, dude? It doesn't work fine. but, guess what? It works fine* when I change it to call that method with a class2 like it asks for. (Surprise!) But I can't tell him that. Nope. Bossmang get offended. Still won't admit I was right about anything, either.

Ahh... the continual joy of working with (and for) trash.

* well, more fine; the rest of the feature is still wrong. but nope, i'm not allowed to fix it. because why would they want anything to work properly? Already-accepted wrong behavior is good enough. Can't clean up the code, either, because that "muddies the waters." Bitch, I couldn't see the bottom of this sewer if it was half an inch deep! Which is more important: the last contributor entry beside the code, or that code being readable and maintainable? or it, you know, working?

doot doot.
need to scoot.

WWDC was not about developers this year. It was a conference call with shareholders and investors. No bold moves, just several consecutive "this product will no longer suck" and "look at what you can do now, big companies" announcements.

watchOS will work now (it's too slow ATM). tvOS will just be less cumbersome. macOS still lagging behind (I mean, I already have great third party apps that clean my hard drive, but thank you for solving a problem I didn't need fixing). iOS 10 is simply about messages (it's not going to make me ditch Telegram, because it doesn't have an Android client, regardless of how large you make emoticons appear on screen). Apple Music will still suck, especially if you have more than one Apple ID. And Apple Maps will continue to be useless outside of the US.

Where did the bold moves go? Where's the "we're breaking up iTunes into several distinct apps that serve their purposes really well"? (Guess iTunes is too valuable a trademark...) Where is the "we will end the WKView vs UIView vs NSView nonsense"? (You know, OOP is about creating classes, which are abstractions and whose instances deal with the particularities of their environment; a View is a View, regardless of where they live; an instance of a View should care about being on a watch or on a phone, not the developer.) Where is the "we love indie developers and will help you"? They showed off a lot of integration with well established apps, that don't really need to stand out any more. They showed that video of "normal people" who have developed apps, but no one knows about them! And then they changed the AppStore so you can pay to advertise your app, but who has the means to do that? Indie devs are surely on a tight budget, so who's that helping again?

For me, this WWDC was sugar coated with a "we love you developers" BS, but was a business statement to large companies ("see what you can do now Uber, Lyft, WeChat, WhatsApp, Doordash, all the P2P payment apps, ESPN, WSJ and so on?"). It's already a known fact that the bulk of the AppStore revenue goes to the top 1% apps. And what's the point of having tvOS be open to developers if it is very unlikely I'll ever develop anything for it unless I work at CBS?

It's great that they want to make it easier for kids to learn Swift. But there's very little point in that, if those kids' apps aren't going to be used and are simply going to make the "we have 2 million apps on the AppStore" announcement look shinier for shareholders. Without a strong indie community, the Swift Playgrounds app for the iPad is just manufacturing workers for large corporations.

And without a strong indie community, things get tougher for indie clients as well. Who will have the money (and therefore the time) to implement all those integrations in order to even dream about competing with heavily funded apps?

Yeah... So thanks, Apple, but no thanks.

Currently on the train to work:
*Guy pulls out his laptop

Me: *Oh nice. Dell laptop. Oh wait, shoot, that’s a Dell XPS 15. 😎Sweet!! Looks super clean. Get it boss, I salute you. Anyway, it’s probably running Windows 10 as expected. It’d be super cool if it run Ubuntu though.

*Guy lifts laptop lid.

Me: *Ahh, look how clean it is too. No fingerprints or smudges on the screen or keyboard. That’s my style. I like this guy. We can definitely share laptops.

*Guy powers on laptop

Me:*Woooooohooooo, no way!!! Gets a little tear of joy in my eyes. I want to hug this guy. This guy rocks. Oh mann, I want to start a conversation with him but can’t because another passenger is standing between us.

*The laptop run Ubuntu! 😍😱😁

At my previous job a coworker left positive comments alongside any negative ones on my code. “Nice job here. Very clean”, or “nice use of X design pattern here!” Kinda made me look forward to his code reviews.

My older brother just moved out today. For 18 years I've shared a room with him, and now he's gone. I have a ~30x10 foot room all to myself (it's the entire second floor of my house).

I do love that now I'm able to play music anytime, and with his stuff gone, it'll be less space taken up in general, that type of thing.

I've been in this room with him for over 8 years now, after my oldest brother moved out, and I've always had this feeling that one portion of the room was mine and the other portion was his. Now it's just...weird. I have both portions now. I have this whole big room to maintain myself. I don't have to worry about my stuff conflicting with his for whatever reason.

The past few weeks, when he's talked about moving out, I've always told him that I was looking forward to it, to having the whole room to myself. Now that he's gone, I just...can't. I can't bring myself to move his stuff that he hasn't taken over to the new house yet, or clean his part of the room.

When we were kids we didn't really get along, and I HATED sharing a room with him. But over time, as we grew up, we started to get along better, and for the past couple years, we've always just talked in the middle of the night when we were both awake. And now he's gone (the new house is maybe a 10 minute drive away), and I know he's not coming back. I know that this whole space is mine now.

I'm gonna miss the talks in the middle of the night, and us keeping each other in check (whenever one of us isn't home in the middle of the night we tend to text each other like "bruh where the fuck you at"), and waking up in the middle of the night (when I'm able to actually fall asleep kinda early) to see him playing Skyrim or Fallout. Hell, even coming home from work or wherever to see him passed the fuck out.

I know that I'm gonna have to clean the whole room soon, and that I'll just have to get over it. I've always been the one in my family that doesn't really show emotion very often, unless I get angry, so when people were crying earlier, I just sat there with an emotionless look on my face. But that's also because I wasn't really feeling much at the time, it didn't really hit until I got home and came upstairs to my room. Hell, right now I'm sitting here just expecting to hear his car alarm as he locks his car like I normally hear every night.

I used to work in a tech shop. Old lady brings her laptop in claiming viruses broke her Gmail. I do the diagnostic, it's relatively clean with a bit of browser adware and tracking cookies. I call her and let her know there was nothing wrong with her Gmail and that it's good to go (she approved a tune up). She comes in and gets it. She calls later saying Gmail is still broken. I invite her to bring it in so we can have a look together (knowing for sure she was the problem). So we open up Gmail together and she shows me what she's doing. She's clicking on the sender and getting the contact card instead of the email opening. I show her how to actually open the email. She doesn't understand. I spend twenty more minutes explaining how to open an email. And this is the wk13 kicker, she waits until after twenty minutes to ask what "click" means. I was so done. That lady was too old to be using a computer.

!rant
Finally did a clean reinstall of my six-year-old Macbook. Decided to change up the theme too, really liking the new 80s Outrun look. Running so smoothly too!

Why to most developers who look beautiful are JavaScript developers (looking at you Instagram) and all of them have the MacBook and perfectly clean desk. How's that possible.

If I were to clean up my desk it will take around 45 minutes to complete.

I had a huge epiphany on Friday... not all developers enjoy coding.

Discovered when they brought down 2 of our environments, well told them what was wrong with the changes in their code that caused the environments to break, gave them links directly to the file in the gitlab repo that needed to be updated, and...

They fucking went home. The change would’ve taken all of about 30-45 seconds to update and they fucking left.

This person’s team lead come storming in pissed off because her manager is furious about 2 environments going down and preventing everyone else from being able to deploy their changes.

We provide the exact same details to the team lead about what needs to be changed, and advise that her team member took off....

30 mins later, her manager is storming up to us (devops/sre) livid as hell.

Explain the situation for a third time... manager is like, why can’t you guys fix it?

Look here you dense motherfuckers, we can fix the code. We can be the plumbers that clean up your shit. But what value do you gain as a developer if you don’t understand how the systems work and you keep pushing shit in?

Made the changes, fixed the environments, done right? Wrong.

The original developer made more changes not knowing what would happen and thoroughly fucked the environments again.

This dumb-fucking dumpster fire of a dude then sends us a slack message. “It’s down again, can you fix it?”

Our manager steps in and tells us to send him a link to the logs and have him fix it himself!

Thank goodness we have a badass manager.

Send logs, send repo file links (again), and send line numbers in the logs to try and help just a bit more. Dude goes almost the whole day without fixing it, environments are down, other devs are pissed, we throw this dude to the wolves. His manager starts to head over and was about to talk with my team lead when our manager steps out of his office and tells him the in’s and out’s of the situation and that our job isn’t to play log parser/error fixer for the developers. This dude that’s breaking the environments needs to be the one to fix the issue and his team lead should be aware of the problems and should have been able to correct his errors before it ever came to us.

The amount of hand-holding we do is ridiculous.

(Disclaimer, this one guy making some mistakes doesn’t sound too bad, but this is actually a common occurrence for like 40% of all of our developers)

We literally have interns still in college running circles around some of our full time devs. I know I’m not a developer, but for anyone that’s new-ish to developing, when you see shit like that please don’t lose hope. Those ass-hats got into programming purely for a paycheck, not because of passion.

Stick with it and your greatness will know no bounds 👍

As for you craptastic dipstick lickers, FUCK YOU!!! Go back to school and learn how to give a damn.

One developer to me:
I will need access to root account on that new machine you just installed so that I can install/configure all the stuff and so you won't have to do it.
Me - I can't give you root. Not even sudo, this will be a production machine, I need to have a clean track of it.
D - but I will give it (root) back to you once I'm done.
Me - look pal, root access is like virginity. I can give it away but I will never be able to get it back.
D - But you can remove my access later. And, talking about virginity, there are operations that "restore" virginity ;)
Me - yes, and I can take access to root from you afterwards, which would be similar to the procedure you are referring to. But it won't change the fact that the server was already fucked.

When managers look at my code, it’s shit, it’s over complicated, it’s overly difficult to read, it took too long, it’s too much for a simple ticket, i handled too many edge cases, we’ll never need most of it, why did I bother making it extensible when it’ll never need to change, how dare I use “unless”, why did I bother writing all these comments, why did I update the documentation that nobody reads because it’s outdated, etc. They say I should be more like the legendary devs and push janky code quickly, and complain that I don’t have any flops (problems in prod) like those are a good thing.

When my coworkers look at my code, they say it’s clean, amazingly easy to read, a monster feature that’s somehow still a joy to review and work on, it makes their lives easier, that it does exactly what it should in all cases, that they learned something from reading it, and thank me for the comments and documentation. And marvel that I finished it so well in so little time.

Am I bragging? Not intentionally; I’ve heard these things repeatedly since I started here, and the contrast between the above is so stark.

In reality, the managers are just idiots who were promoted far above their competence, and make everything worse. (Gee, who woulda thought?) It’s just so frustrating.

A few hours ago I decided it was a good idea to to clean up my keyboard. I did so and took a walk leaving the keys to dry.

After I came back I hoovered the -board and decided to put back the keys. I started with the special keys since they were the easiest to find (and some required a metal thing).

Now, I was quickly made aware of something that I had never known nor noticed before. Bear with me here as I'm not a person that cares too much about hardware unless I need to. (Hardware here meaning stuff like mice, keyboards, headsets, and stuff like that). But I learned that

Not all keys are the same size. They look really similar to someone like me. But I manned up and put the keys back.

A little under 1.5 hours later and I now posses a keyboard that is in uncanny valley. It doesn't feel like it though, and it shouldn't be that big of a problem since I never look at my keyboard anyway.

Messaged one of my m8's about and this was his reply

"nope
one kind per row
usually says the row on the underside"

Now fantasize about the elasmobranch fish which is characterized by a cartilaginous skeleton of which I am the proprietor at what he said. I pulled a key out and, sure enough, "C28 R1".

Now I am not sure about the 28th column, but it did fit in the first row.

Fuck me

rant.

when you're a programmer surrounded by designer friends, it feels frustrating sometimes.

people appreciate what they do more because they can clearly see the end product: beautifully designed ui, animated splash screens, clean colorful themes. even though it probably does squat other than to print statements.

then they look at your overly simple design and cant see the beautiful underlying code within.

end rant.

Uncle Bob and Martin Fowler. Their books (“Clean code”, “Clean architecture”, “Refactoring”) and Twitter posts have changed the way I look at software development.

Look at that desktop. Sexy and clean. I wish i could say the same for my code.. :-(

So I'm back from vacation! It's my first day back, and I'm feeling refreshed and chipper, and motivated to get a bunch of things done quickly so I can slack off a bit later. It's a great plan.

First up: I need to finish up tiny thing from my previous ticket -- I had overlooked it in the description before. (I couldn't test this feature [push notifications] locally so I left it to QA to test while I was gone.)

It amounted to changing how we pull a due date out of the DB; some merchants use X, a couple use Y. Instead of hardcoding them, it would use a setting that admins can update on the fly.

Several methods deep, the current due date gets pulled indirectly from another class, so it's non-trivial to update; I start working through it.

But wait, if we're displaying a due date that differs from the date we're actually using internally, that's legit bad. So I investigate if I need to update the internals, too.

After awhile, I start to make lunch. I ask my boss if it's display-only (best case) and... no response. More investigating.

I start to make a late lunch. A wild sickness appears! Rush to bathroom; lose two turns.

I come back and get distracted by more investigating. I start to make an early dinner... and end up making dinner for my monster instead.

Boss responds, tells me it's just for display (yay!) and that we should use <macro resource feature> instead.

I talk to Mr. Product about which macros I should add; he doesn't respond.

I go back to making lunch-turn-dinner for myself; monster comes back and he's still hungry (as he never asks for more), so I make him dinner.

I check Slack again; Mr. Product still hasn't responded. I go back to making dinner.

Most of the way through cooking, I get a notification! Product says he's talking it through with my boss, who will update me on it. Okay fine. I finish making dinner and go eat.

No response from boss; I start looking through my next ticket.

No response from boss. I ping him and ask for an update, and he says "What are you talking about?" Apparently product never talked to bossmang =/ I ask him about the resources, and he says there's no need to create any more as the one I need already exists! Yay!

So my feature went from a large, complex refactor all the way down to a -1+2 diff. That's freaking amazing, and it only took the entire day!

I run the related specs, which take forever, then commit and push.

Push rejected; pull first! Fair, I have been gone for two weeks. I pull, and git complains about my .gitignore and some local changes. fine, whatever. Except I forgot I had my .gitignore ignored (skipped worktree). Finally figure that out, clean up my tree, and merge.

Time to run the specs again! Gems are out of date. Okay, I go run `bundle install` and ... Ruby is no longer installed? Turns out one of the changes was an upgrade to Ruby 2.5.8.

Alright, I run `rvm use ruby-2.5.8` and.... rvm: command not found. What. I inspect the errors from before and... ah! Someone's brain fell out and they installed rbenv instead of the expected rvm on my mac. Fine, time to figure it out. `rbenv which ruby`; error. `rbenv install --list`; skyscraper-long list that contains bloody everything EXCEPT 2.5.8! Literally 2.5 through 2.5.7 and then 2.6.0-dev. asjdfklasdjf

Then I remember before I left people on Slack made a big deal about upgrading Ruby, so I go looking. Dummy me forgot about the search feature for a painful ten minutes. :( Search found the upgrade instructions right away, ofc. I follow them, and... each step takes freaking forever. Meanwhile my children are having a yelling duet in the immediate background, punctuated with screams and banging toys on furniture.

Eventually (seriously like twenty-five minutes later) I make it through the list. I cd into my project directory and... I get an error message and I'm not in the project directory? what. Oh, it's a zsh thing. k, I work around that, and try to run my specs. Fail.

I need to update my gems; k. `bundle install` and... twenty minutes later... all done.

I go to run my specs and... RubyMine reports I'm using 2.5.4 instead of 2.5.8? That can't be right. `ruby --version` reports 2.5.8; `rbenv version` reports 2.5.8? Fuck it, I've fought with this long enough. Restarting fixes everything, right? So I restart. when my mac comes back to life, I try again; same issue. After fighting for another ten minutes, I find a version toggle in RubyMine's settings, and update it to 2.5.8. It indexes for five minutes. ugh.

Also! After the restart, this company-installed surveillance "security" runs and lags my computer to hell. Highest spec MacBook Pro and it takes 2-5 seconds just to switch between desktops!

I run specs again. Hey look! Missing dependency: no execjs. I can't run the specs.

Fuck. This. I'll just push and let the CI run specs for me.

I just don't care anymore. It's now 8pm and I've spent the past 11 hours on a -1+2 diff!

What a great first day back! Everything is just the way I left it.

Food and computers.

Sorry for the fat people as well but i think those is legit.

I am sitting next to this friend of mine in class. She is a bit big. Anyhow.

She opens her laptop and i see her screen. Its dirty. But by dirty i mean fucking dirty. Like brow transparent circle like things all over.

I`m like: “shiiiet， whats that on your screen”.

She: “i am not really sure”.

2 days layer in another class we sit together again and she looks at me with a smile.

She: “look my screen is clean. It was dirty because sometimes o sit in bed and eat chicken then type on my keyboard，so when i close my computer the keys touch the screen and voiiiila!”

Me: “..... Wow”

She was quite proud she had elucidated the problem and did not really understand the meaning of my wow.

TL;DR you suck, I suck and everybody sucks, deal with it....

------------------------------------

Let me let off some steam, since I've had enough of people hating on languages "just because"

Every language has it's drawbacks and quirks, BUT they have their strengths also. Saying "I hate {language}" is just you being and ignorant prick and probably your head is so far up your ass that you look like an ass hat. With that being said, every language is either good or bad depending on the developer writing in it. Let's give you an example:

If I ware to give you a brick and ask you to put a nail in a plank, can you do it? Yes, it will be easier if you do it with a hammer, but you have a brick, so hammer is out of the question. If you hit your thumb while doing it... well... sorry, but it is not the bricks fault - it is YOU!

JavaScript, yes it has a whole lot of problems, but it works, you can do a ton of stuff and does a good job at that, it is evolving through node and typescript (and others, just a personal pref), BUT if you used js when you ware debugging that jquery (1.0) plugin written in the free time of a 13 yo, who copy pasted a bunch from SO, well, it is not js' problem - deal with it. Same goes for PHP, i've been there where you had a single `index.php` with bazillion lines of code, did a bunch of eval and it was called MVC, but it also is evolving.. thing is all languages allow you to do some dumb stuff so YOU have to be responsible to not fuck it up (which you always DO btw, we all do). Difference is PHP/JS roll with it because the assumption is that you know what you are doing, which again - newsflash - you don't.

More or less I would blame that shit on businesses which decided to go with undergrads to save money instead of investing in their product, hell, I am in a major company that does not invest that doesn't care a whole lot about dev /tech stuff and now everybody's mother is an engineer - they care about money, because investors care about money (ROI) and because clean code does not pay the bills, but money does.

If we get all of the good practices and apply them to each language every one of them has it's place, that is why there is no "The Language", even if there was, we STILL ware going to fuck it up and probably it was going to be even worse than where we are now.

Study, improve, rinse and repeat... There are SENIORS and LEADS out there that are about 25-30 and have no fucking clue about the language, because they have stuck up their heads up the ass of frameworks and refuse to take a breath of clean air and consider something different than their dogmatic framework "way" of doing things.. That is the result you are seeing. Let me give you a fresh example to illustrate where I am at atm:

Le me works with ZendFramework 2.3-2.5 (why not, which is PHP5+ running on PHP7 [fancy, eh]), and little me writes a module for said project, and tries to contain it in its own space, i.e not touching anything outside of the folder of the module so it is SELF-CONTAINED (see, practices), during 2-3-4 iterations of code review, I've had to modify 4 different modules with `if (somthing === self::SOMETHING_TYPE)` as requested by my TL, which resulted in me not covering 3 use-cases after the changes and not adding a new event (the fw is event-driven, cuz.. reasons) so I have to use a bunch of ifs in the code, to check a config value and do shit. That is the way of I am asked to do things I hate what I've done and the fact that because of CR I have lost case-coverage, a week of work and the same TL will be on my ass on monday that things are now "perfect".

The biggest things is "we care about convention and code style"... right.... That is not because of the language, not because of me, not because of the framework - it is some dude's opinion that you hate, not the language.

New stuff are better, reinventing the wheel is also good, if it wasn't you would've had a few stone circular things on your car and things ware going to be like that - we need to try and try, that is the only way we actually learn shit.

Until things change in the trade, we will be on the same boat, complaining about the same shit over and over, you and me won't be alive probably but things will not change a bit.

We live in a place where state is considered good, god objects necessary (can you believe it, I've got kudos for using the term 'God Object'... yep, let that sink in). If you really hate something, please, oh god I beg you, show me how you will do it better and I will shake your hand and buy you a beer, but until then, please keep your ass-hurt fanboy opinion to your self, no one gives a shit about what you think, we will die and the world will not notice...

Is it just me or is it really difficult to use software/tools that aren't visually pleasing?

When you look at a layout and consider the hour it will take to refactor and clean stuff out to remove built functionality.

Nah fuck it - display: none !important;

FFS stop squashing commits. If “updated comments” is what the commit was it should show it in git blame. If “fixed null check” is what the commit was it should show it in git blame.

There is no reason to have “ticket-234 service revision” beside 1000 lines of code. How does anyone justify this loss of git info for the sake of “clean history”? Nobody looks at your history and says, “That is bloody clean git history I should write home about it.” People do however look at the code and say, “I wish I knew WTF they were trying to do on that line.”

I AM TIRED

warning: this rant is going to be full of negativity , CAPS, and cursing.

People always think and they always write that programming is an analytical profession. IF YOU CANNOT THINK IN AN ANALYTICAL WAY THIS JOB IS NOT FOR YOU! But the reality could not be farther from the truth.

A LOT of people in this field whether they're technical people or otherwise, just lack any kind of reasoning or "ANALYTICAL" thinking skills. If anything, a lot of of them are delusional and/or they just care about looking COOL. "Because programming is like getting paid to solve puzzles" *insert stupid retarded laugh here*.

A lot of devs out there just read a book or two and read a Medium article by another wannabe, now think they're hot shit. They know what they're doing. They're the gods of "clean" and "modular" design and all companies should be in AWE of their skills paralleled only by those of deities!

Everyone out there and their Neanderthal ancestor from start-up founders to developers think they're the next Google/Amazon/Facebook/*insert fancy shitty tech company*.

Founder? THEY WANT TO MOVE FAST AND GET TO MARKET FAST WITH STUPID DEADLINES! even if it's not necessary. Why? BECAUSE YOU INFERIOR DEVELOPER HAVE NOT READ THE STUPID HOT PILE OF GARBAGE I READ ONLINE BY THE POEPLE I BLINDLY COPY! "IF YOU'RE NOT EMBARRASSED BY THE FIRST VERSION OF YOU APP, YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG" - someone at Amazon.

Well you delusional brainless piece of stupidity, YOU ARE NOT AMAZON. THE FIRST VERSION THAT THIS AMAZON FOUNDER IS EMBARRASSED ABOUT IS WHAT YOU JERK OFF TO AT NIGHT! IT IS WHAT YOU DREAM ABOUT HAVING!

And oh let's not forget the tech stacks that make absolutely no fucking sense and are just a pile of glue and abstraction levels on top of abstraction levels that are being used everywhere. Why? BECAUSE GOOGLE DOES IT THAT WAY DUH!! And when Google (or any other fancy shit company) changes it, the old shitty tech stack that by some miracle you got to work and everyone is writing in, is now all of a sudden OBSOLETE! IT IS OLD. NO ONE IS WRITING SHIT IN THAT ANYMORE!

And oh my god do I get a PTSD every time I hear a stupid fucker saying shit like "clean architecture" "clean shit" "best practice". Because I have yet to see someone whose sentences HAVE TO HAVE one of these words in them, that actually writes anything decent. They say this shit because of some garbage article they read online and in reality when you look at their code it is hot heap of horseshit after eating something rancid. NOTHING IS CLEAN ABOUT IT. NOTHING IS DONE RIGHT. AND OH GOD IF THAT PERSON WAS YOUR TECH MANAGER AND YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEM RUNNING THEIR SHITHOLE ABOUT HOW YOUR SIMPLE CODE IS "NOT CLEAN". And when you think that there might be a valid reason to why they're doing things that way, you get an answer of someone in an interview who's been asked about something they don't know, but they're trying to BS their way to sounding smart and knowledgable. 0 logic 0 reason 0 brain.

Let me give you a couple of examples from my unfortunate encounters in the land of the delusional.

I was working at this start up which is fairly successful and there was this guy responsible for developing the front-end of their website using ReactJS and they're using Redux (WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS TO ELIMINATE PASSING ATTRIBUTES FOR THE PURPOSE OF PASSING THEM DOWN THE COMPONENT HIERARCHY AGIAN). This guy kept ranting about their quality and their shit every single time we had a conversation about the code while I was getting to know everything. Also keep in mind he was the one who decided to use Redux. Low and behold there was this component which has THIRTY MOTHERFUCKING SEVEN PROPERTIES WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS BE PASSED DOWN AGAIN LIKE 3 TO 4 TIMES!.

This stupid shit kept telling me to write code in a "functional" style. AND ALL HE KNOWS ABOUT FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING IS USING MAP, FILTER, REDUCE! And says shit like "WE DONT NEED UNIT TESTS BECAUSE FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING HAS NO ERRORS!" Later on I found that he read a book about functional programming in JS and now he fucking thinks he knows what functional programming is! Oh I forgot to mention that the body of his "maps" is like 70 fucking lines of code!

Another fin-tech company I worked at had a quote from Machiavelli's The Prince on EACH FUCKING DESK:

"There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things."

MOTHERFUCKER! NEW ORDER OF THINGS? THERE 10 OTHER COMPANIES DOING THE SAME SHIT ALREADY!

And the one that got on my nerves as a space lover. Is a quote from Kennedy's speech about going to the moon in the 60s "We choose to go to the moon and do the hard things ..."

YOU FUCKING DELUSIONAL CUNT! YOU THINK BUILDING YOUR SHITTY COPY PASTED START UP IS COMPARABLE TO GOING TO THE MOON IN THE 60S?

I am just tired of all those fuckers.

I started a project at high school 7 years ago, I had no idea what's clean code or design pattern, just learn while keep coding. I eventually stopped because my code is so terrible I cannot understand it anymore.

Now, after 1 year of working, I look back those dirty codes and think it is actually not that bad. Within hours I even fixed a bug with concurrency.

I start to think, instead of learning to how to write good code, maybe I should learn how to read bad code. That's just much more practical.

TL;DR Developers don't like it when marketing attempts to do their job. They like it even less when they have to clean up the mess when they fuck things up.

Our marketing team was specifically told not to put JS into the CMS. They were told that if you need JS for something, we will do it and then work it into a release. That wasn't good enough so they hired a design firm to "hack" the JS inline. They found a back door to get the JS in place but couldn't get it to work right. They called me to come look at it. After 5 minutes of explaining why they shouldn't have done what they did, I grudgingly decided to look at the JS. 30 seconds later I fixed what they had been screwing with for about 8 hours. They were using --> arrows in their comments! Seriously?!? designer != developer

When it comes to the indentation or look I am fully consistent.
But when it comes to naming I am inconsistent like a crack whore telling she's clean.
Camelcase, underscores inconsistent variable and function names. I use all of them within a single file. On some days I even switch languages.
I truly am miserable in code consistency. Is there any good advice to keep the code consistent?

Honestly these icons are really nice and are a good medium between clean and defined. I think Material failed as a whole to accomplish the paper look but this is very well done and has subtle but not 2008-era giga-drop-shadow depth. Well done, weather app.

Wake Up. Cook. Eat. Work. Clean. Meetings. Work. Eat. Work. Netflix & Chill. Sleep. Repeat. 😎😝

How does your Work from Home look like?🧐

If this isn't the worst thing.

I was asked to develop a WordPress plugin as an intern developer and I've been on it since last week. I got stuck when i finally had the loops running but couldn't find a way to format the output without overwriting the existing values on each iteration.

For the last one week I've been showing the progress on my code to the CTO and this is how it has been.

Me: Hello. Everything is coming along fine, I have most of the functions running properly, do you mind looking into the algorithm?

CTO: Oh not at all, let's see what you got. Omg great code for an intern. I think you should add a new variable there and maybe clean up that function over there because it's deprecated now and yeah HaHa, Great work.

Me: Thanks xD I'll have it finished latest next week.

CTO: Oh great. I can't wait to see what you'd have by next week so we can install it on our WordPress.

*Next finally week comes and I'm done with the code.

Me: Hello, I'm done with the entire code! Want to take a look? The plugin works just exactly as described.

*CTO takes a look

CTO: Omg?

Me: Omg?

CTO: This is completely bad programming practice, so you are running 4 nested loops that all send queries to our data base and make changes to data. This would have a very drastic effect on the server considering the traffic we get.

Me: But you saw this exact code last week and said it was okay, I only changed some CSS since the last time.

CTO: Omg, we can't accept this, you have to develop it again from the scratch without using those loops and queries.

Me: What? Okay, fine. Any hints?

CTO: Yes.

Me: What?

CTO: Just start. That's the greatest hint I could ever give. And also, always have a plan before you begin.

Me: Yeah, thanks for those. It's the first time I'm hearing them and they would totally be applicable to building this thing.

Today, I was so certain that all the functionalities were implemented to handle some webhook calls from a third-party service. It's a script I wrote that has been running for 2+ years uninterrupted or without any issues.

We got some "complaints/notices" today that some "special" actions weren't registered, so I thought that the third-party service just didn't send those actions via their webhook. After some research I found a part where they explained that those actions trigger the webhook like any other action etc. So..

First thought: "okay, maybe they implemented that at a later stage" (was not the case)
Second thought: "maybe this is not what the client meant" (it was)
Third thought: "Then it should have been implemented" (it wasn't)

Okay, time to look at the code to see where this could get handled but apparently isn't. All the actions look good, nice, clean handeling etc, nicely documented code (gave the 'past-me' mentally a high-five)..

I scroll further down to that specific action and it was quiet obvious why it didn't work.. I just see an empty function with the comment:

"//TODO: maybe handle this action one day. don't know what this does atm, probably unused.. Will take a look at it next week.."

.. :D

I took my 'high-five' back..I just needed to copy-paste some other code and change 1-2 parameters..

Had to look into some old code today and had the "Is this my code?! This can't be my code!? No one else worked on this code, so it must be mine... But, but, it's so... good! And clean! And logical! And well documented! This can't be mine... Can it!? Hey! It works!" moment.

Does anyone get the feeling that as they become more senior, they care less about meeting "best practices" and more of just "good enough"?

Best practices being everything in those books about TDD, unit testing, design patterns, design artifacts.

Good enough: enough so it won't blow up in prod, some tests but not 80-90%, some docs. Basically not like those public docs, open source projects/frameworks where function is covered

When I first started professionally, I was all about efficiency, good design, reducing technical debt, clean code.

But now, I look at problems and instinctively I may make these decisions but I don't really think about it much. First goal is to just get something working, clean it up later... Maybe.

tl;dr Do you think we will any time soon move from editing raw source code? Will IDE or other interfaces allow us to change the code in graphic representation or even through voice?
---

One thing I found funny watching Westworld is how they depicted the "programming" - it is more like swiping on a smartphone, a bit maybe like Tom Cruise's investigations in Minority report. Or giving certain commands and key words by voice.

There was one quote from Uncle Bob's "Clean Code" I could never find again, where he said something along the lines, that back in the seventies or eighties they thought they would soon raise programming languages to such a high level they would use natural language interfaces, and look at us now, still the same "if's".

So I feel uncomfortable without my shell and having tried a graphical programming language once this particular (Labview) seemed clumsy to me at best. But maybe there are a lot of web devs here and it seems with them frameworks you might be able to abstract away a lot of the pesky system programming... so do you feel like moving to some new shiny programming experience or do you think it will stay the same for more decades as the computer is that stupid machine where you have to spill it out instruction by instruction anyways?

It is easy to believe something is over-engineered as a junior. You open a solution and get slapped in the face with a wet fish of many classes, with strange names, doing very little, with everything coming together in ways you don't understand.

My advice is to learn about design patterns, clean code, clean architecture, and model driven design. Until that point I don't think you can make such a distinction. And indeed once knowledgeable of patterns and techniques as well as the domain, the same solution can look obvious, elegant and readable.

In a field where everyone is saying 'dont over-engineer', one must be able to tell if something is actually bad, or just uses techniques you don't recognise.

Telling your senior you think something is over done just because you don't understand it is not good. First learn techniques, understand the code, then form opinions that are at least relevant then.

From someone who committed that crime.

Does it look Clean?

---Me coding away---

ESLint: Hey...

ESLint: Hey... don't-

ESLint: No I think-

Me: Not now bro! This is fine, I need to get this done.

---Months later I go back to clean some things up and I look to see what ESLint has to say----

ESLint:

Me VS Dentist:

Me: Hey Doc, it hearts on the left side of my jaw, can you take a look at it maybe?

Dentist: Awh that’s nothing. If you just keep it clean there is no problem. Let’s make a picture just to be sure.

Also Dentist: i can’t see it with my bare eyes but the picture indicates an upcoming problem on the right side. I HAVE TO REPAIR THIS!

No fucking complaints there but still.

This reminds me of IT people and car mechanics. They can tell you anything to earn cash from you.

That moment when, after you've spent days trying to refactor your code to be clean and readable, you look at what you've made and you honestly feel like you actually made things worse than before.

You know why i hate JavaScript?

Instead of writing

return x.y.z;

I wrote

return
x
.y
.z;

Just for making the code look clean
and everything broke...

I made a web app where I can build any kind of form, with sections, validations, multiple type of inputs (even coordinates or polygons, photos, etc.) while allowing to see a preview of how that would look in a mobile app. That preview is because when you're done building the form and saved it to the DB, then in a mobile app (which I made as well) you can choose that form and use it.

Everything is beautiful, but after 3 sections with 25 questions each, everything becomes really slow because of the insane amount of actions that redux-form fires on every character type 😢

Today I made a public demonstration, and despite my code is very clean and well made, I think, that slowness made me look like a shitty developer, even thought I know what I made is like a 1000 times better than what I was asked to develop.

Since I've started writing in clojurescript a 1.5 yrs ago, I can barely look at JavaScript.
I started to realise how ugly it is.
Seriously waiting to the day browsers will work with clojurescript out of the box, without the need to compile.

The language is so clean, clear, easy and data oriented, I find it hard to go back to js.
Also, the docs are much better.

Long live concurrency !

I think the sleep deprived me is finally cracking under the weight of incompetent assholes.

We just launched a major project in some weird cocktail of Agile slapped with MVP and release to the wild in a waterfall, but it was premature, premature in the sense QA hasn't even finished their side of things, but because some fuck with with "manager" in their title decided they have burnt through the budget with incompetence and scrapped an entire element of the project and outsourced just so they could make a shittier version that doesn't even fucking work.

How hard do you want to fail before you will start listening to the people that now have to work around the fucking clock to clean up this horse shit of a mess.

I'm literally arguing over field mapping with multiple 3rd parties, when the fucking requirements state WTF this is suppose to look like. All because they didn't validate or test their own shit.

Why is EVERY FUCKING cock head in this industry a waste of space and cash! Is it really to much to ask for 1 fucking project to fucking go live that actually fucking works where I don't need to work 2 weeks straight (including weekends) after going live just to be sure that what shit does hit the fan isn't going to create a SEV 1 issue...

Sorry, I'm pissed at the incompetence of others I need to deal with on a daily basis. It's not like this field is insanely hard. A little attention to detail and self validation, verification goes a long way. But clearly that's a rarity.

Once this shit is stable and actually works, I'll be pulling out the mop to clean up half this shit just so it actually works.

Oof, I'm getting to old for this bullshit.

So I actually prefer npm to most other package managers (with the exception of go's package handling).
Like you need to look no further than to pip's hell of package management, to start appreciating how clean npm is.
***Shots fired***

We are all about structures, clean code and many other things that make our life easier, right?

Well... It's not all white and black...

As talked many times, projects can be rushed... Client budgets can be low at the start and only then grow...

Let me take an example:

Client X needs a tool that helps his team perform jobs faster. They have a $500 budget. So... Testing, clean architecture and so on - are not really a viable option. Instead, you just make it work and perform that task as needed. So the code has minimal patterns, minimal code structure, a lot of repetitive parts and so on.

Now... Imagine that 3 months pass by without any notice and clients are ultra happy with the product. They want more things to be automated. They contact developers and ask for more things. This time they have a bigger budget but short timeframe.

So once again, you ignore all tests, structure and just make it work. No matter what. The client is happy again.

A year passes and the client realizes that their workflow changed. The app needs total refactoring. The previous developer has no time for adjustments at this point and hires a new company. They look at the code and rants spill out of their mouth along with suicidal thoughts.

So... What would you do? Would you rant about "messy project" or just fix it? Especially since people now have a bigger budget and timeframe to adapt to changes.

Would you be pissed on such a project?
Would you flame on previous devs?
Would you blame anyone for the mess?

Or would you simply get in and get the job done since the client has a "prototype" and needs a better version of it?

---

Personally, I've been in this situation A LOT. And I'm both, the old and new dev. I've built tons of crappy software to make things work for clients and after years - they come back for changes/new things. You just swallow the pill and do what is needed. Why? Well, because it's an internal system and not used by anyone outside their office. Even if it's used outside the office - prototyping is the key. They didn't know if the idea would work or be helpful in any way. Now they know and want it done correctly.

Everyday strugle.
Go to work, go home all motivated like: oh once I'm home I can do this and that to finish my work, and it's fun and interesting. Or I vould study, or clean up, I'm totally gonna do something usefull!
*once home*
Ohhhh look league of legends! Or bed! I'm too exhausted to do anything usefull. Better chill.
...
Anyone else?
Anyone got advice for how to combat this? T_T

Have been pissed at the guy who wrote the js on the project im working on (its just so messy!). Same project has python scripts I need to look at to squash a bug, and this. code. is. so. clean. They should have let this guy write everything in python. Im ashamed I ever hated on him.

My uncle has definitely been my biggest influence. My parents never understood computers and refused to buy one. Eventually my uncle gave me an old Win95 box with an 8GB HDD, and 512 MB of RAM(most other people in the world were running XP at this point). The thing was completely useless as a computer to do work on when I received it.

The internet wasn't really a thing yet back then, but I managed to figure out how to clean up the OS, as well as taking it a part and figuring out the parts.

He was the one who taught me that with computers, all things are possible.

From there he was always buying me books about programming, and pointing me in the right direction. He was never one to give me the answer, but always told me where to look or what to ask.

Now I'm the main web developer at my company and I love what I do.

Lead: alright people what are your ideas and updates for this page refactor we've been talking about.

dipshit: Alright guys, I've done a quick awesome prototype that I really like...

dipshit: *starts to speak super fast* (I catch words about function composition, clean, no side effects, speed, efficiency. Basically a string of brogrammer buzzwords.)

me: what did you mean by that? How does it work?

dipshit: *basically repeats the same drivel*

me: uh..ok I don't quite understand

everyone else looks confused.

me: ok since you've done a prototype, we take a look at it later

*** After meeting, looks at code ***

It was COMPLETE GARBAGE. He used 1,500+ lines of js in 17 files to make what was essentially a simple 2 item list.

We were looking at a way to overhaul the entire page, he "refactored" maybe perhaps 5% of the page.

There was absolutely nothing clean / functional / composable about this monstrosity. It was as if he read chapter 1 of a book on functional programming and decided he understood enough to call himself an expert.

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL HIRED?

HOW DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A DEVELOPER?

YOU ARE SELF TAUGHT, DISS PEOPLE WITH FORMAL CS/CE DEGREES AND YOU PRODUCE TRASH CODE?!

ARE YOU SO RETARDED THAT YOU DO NOT RECOGNIZE HOW STUPID YOU ARE?

Please die in a fire, along with your jock attitude and unprofessionalism. Take this worthless junk unfit to be called code with you.

PM tells me to merge (large feature) work that's heavily under WIP.

In that is a performance optimisation he instructed (with an aggressive DM) me to stop looking at even though it's a concern for larger clients that I had to fix before as it's "unnecessary" - thought whatever I'll leave the code as is then

I tell him him the PR is not ready yet, there is still a lot of clean up to and tests to write

Just do it

A ~week later "wow you write really selfish code like look at this"

Shows a wrapper class from the optimisation with 2 properties and getters and setters (and override some of super's properties). I explain to him why it's there, "that should have been a comment". I tell him I write detailed comments as part of my refinment process which he wanted me to stop.

This is after he tried to merge a release branch into main while sneaking in some "corrections" and I pointed out it breaks Dev.

so here’s the tea.

i’m a Chinese dev working in a Japanese company. they’ve got this decently sized project a full web app and backend stack and yeah, I’m handling both ends. full-stack life. not a problem. I’ve seen worse.

but the maturity level in this place? the passive-aggressiveness? is different level. have you ever worked somewhere where your coworkers act all sweet on the surface, but lowkey make it feel like everything is your fault in the most obvious way possible?

so here comes the fun part.

the Stripe exchange rate endpoint we were using? deprecated. not globally — just regionally in Japan.

i did my homework. contacted Stripe support. got the chats, screenshots, docs, confirmations, evidence, not .........vibes.

solution? easy. i integrated a third-party API that returns the same exchange rate data. built a cron job to pull and cache the values daily. stored it locally. frontend grabs the user’s currency via IP, backend returns the rate, no stress, no wasted API calls. boom. problem solved.

my manager? totally got it. said it was efficient.
but the founder? man acted like a toddler.

he flipped. said it was my fault.
told me i just "no communicate well...uh...very confuse..." like bro… what even? do I look like I own stripe or do I look like I secretly working for them? plus, i explain in full, still not understand.

he got heated in meeting, so I clapped back in the meeting: you want to argue all day and get nothing done? or you want to understand what’s going on, and let me go back to building stuff that actually works? pick one.

he didn’t like that.
pretty sure he’s shopping for my replacement now. well, doesn’t take a genius to see it.

but I’m not here to babysit egos. I’ll do my job clean, document everything, and keep it professional. meanwhile yeah, I’ve already started looking for something else.

A story from the old days

My father had a fame around he's friends that he understood this nasty business that is computers and in the pre-windows time he was reasonably knowledgeable... But as things evolved he didn't evolve with them so when he's friends asked him to help he would take me to solve the problem...

One day he asked me to see what was the problem with a friend's personal computer. This is a 70+ year old man.

When I get to his computer I do a quick check and see it's too infected with so many viruses to the point it is better to just format and clean install, so I ask him to backup he's files and the next day I picked up the PC and clean installed and setup the all thing...

Not more than 3 months pass and the guy says to my dad the problem was back...

I get there and the antivirus was turned off and the PC was infected... Found it weird but okay, enabled the antivirus, cleaned everything... Back to as new.... This time I instructed him to keep the antivirus always updated and running...

One week later to my surprise: he reports it is all back... Now I am getting tired of this and went to he's browsing history to find out how the hell he is achieving this... Too my surprise the amount of early internet shady porn sites was over the top...

I know had to tell a 70+ year old man how to safely watch porn... But that is not my problem, so I ask him what kind of sites he's going to... He blames he's grandson for using the internet in he's computer... Only problem: he's grandson is 2 years old...

I just set up the bookmarks with some children sites and convinced my father to take a look at that and either instruct the man or the kid on how to watch porn without getting a venereal disease...

Pet peeve: the claim that static typing prevents errors.

Today I worked on a C# project that's a mess of nulls, side-effects, inferences, and race conditions. Then I went back to a JS project that's twice the size but written in a clean, well-tested, FP style and currently has fewer than 10 issues logged.

Look, I get that there are upsides to static typing, and I'm open to introducing typescript or flow for our JS code.

I just can't stand the faux-concern from the static typing dingleberries when they are the ones who produce these horrendous lumps of unmaintainable shit, and the JS/Python/Ruby/etc people are over here quietly reinventing functional programming and code modularity.

Once upon a time i had a great idea.
Because i couldnt be bothered to do anything productive i created a simple app in the C# that would look into every .js file (from a game that uses it for the gui/main menu) and search for "//todo" lines.

I did it mostly for kicks. I got that idea when i encountered one //todo in a file when i was trying to mod that game.

Yes i know grep exists: fuck you.
It would have taken me more time to learn that than to write that 20 line program...

The result? Over 30 lines of //todo with some briliant pearls in the type of:
>Temp workaround because X
>Workaround for race condition
>Clean that up
>Obsolete

When i return home i will post real quotes. They might be amusing to read...

The game is based on a custom C++ engine. HTML, CSS and JS is used for main menu and some graphical interface in game.

The most amusing thing is that this inefficient sack of chicken shit is powering one of the biggest (no playerbase but unit, world, gameplay vise) rts that i have ever played.

But still in spite of a dead community, buggy gui as shit and other problems i love this game and a lot of other people love it too. It is a great game when it works correctly.

To the interested: JS portion uses jquerry and knockout lib.

Note: I posted this as a comment, but figured it could be a rant on its own.

I absolutely hate what frameworks like Bootstrap did for the web. True, 10 or 20 years ago quick personal / pet project sites looked plain and boring, and only sites with dedicated developers had a nice layout. But what did Bootstrap bring? Those "minimal effort" sites still look boring as fuck, except now they have Bootstrap look & feel. What's even worse is that thanks to Bootstrap, every fucking UI kit is just Bootstrap with more bloat. To further prove my point, if you google "material CSS" you'll find a ton of projects, and except for the official Google projects, they all look & feel like a mutilated incest child of Bootstrap and MD because instead of making their own implementations, everyone just started with Bootstrap. And the same goes for all sorts of templates which look & feel nothing like Bootstrap, but thanks to its shitty influence devs still start with Bootstrap instead of writing clean CSS which does what a template needs without extra bloat.

Spent an entire week working on XCode configurations for a react-native+swift+objc bridging project. Been failing builds all week. Finally i look over to see the glorious word Succeeded!

Then I realized it was the clean that succeeded, not the build. FFS

To all that read my rants regarding my webshop before! Here's the long awaited update!

So this asshole partner did just not take care of business so I decided to stand down as a director for that company. So we arranged that last monday.

I thought: let's end this properly, clean up my mail, some other stuff... tuesday he revoked me access to everything, so I couldn't access anything anymore. Wow fucker! You never did a thing and now suddenly you take action? Wtf?!

Can you please pay your part of the bill for the accountant? You already promised a couple of times.

Well of course mr retard, you really think I'll follow up on my promises? You never kept 1 of them yet expect me to keep that promise? Fuck you man.

So today he asked again. I told him that I'd like to know what he wants with all the custom made stuff as I developed it and copyright is owned by me. Then mr asshole started insulting again: just because of the fact that you're not a front end dev doesn't mean that makes.up for you taking so much time.to implement all that. I asked an expert.and he could do it in 3 hours! Wow dude! A front end dev optimizing db queries, rewriting parts of the back end in just.3 hours including the front-end?,You're so right.

Of course not cunt face. I'm already full stacking for 20 fucking years and.you tell me that?! Really? Mr insult's back again!

Then he says: I'm so fed up with all this crap that to end this properly I will have my new IT business partner look at your so called 'custom made components'.

For fuck's sake man, can I send you a tree with a rope so that you can hang yourself?

Good luck getting your domain name as it is still registered on my company's name. I might cancel it someday in the future at my convenience.

If anyone here loves fucking up a website, get in touch with me.

*revving chainsaw noises*

Today I started nuking leftover project code.

At the end, some projects shrunk by roughly up to 40 % .

Can anyone explain to me why programmers have such an awful hoarding syndrome?

Why do you keep shit that might unleash complete havoc cause it hasn't been touched since years and noone knows id it still works?

It's like having a leg with gangrene and keeping it cause "it doesn't look that bad".

For fucks sake. Clean up and remove shit when it's not necessary anymore.

Reason why I did a bloody gore massacre in nearly a dozen projects... After all the rework of networking, it's finally evident which projects have a bad / nasty behaviour of "fucked up" connection handling (HTTP 1.1).

And when my gory massacre removal goes life, I think 25-35 % of persistent connections on the loadbalancers will vanish. Maybe even more, since some very nasty stuff was in some projects.

Like "let's implement monitoring without having any clue about how monitoring works and even less clues about how TCP/ HTTP works."

*Bangs devs heads on table*

Stop. Doing. Stupid. Things.

For fucks sake.

:@ :@

Not really a fight but another Dev was telling me how I should implement things and to keep the code clean and clear/not spaghetti.

In the back of my mind I'm going yeah... I know what I'm doing... probably better than you.

I'm usually the guy telling other ppl to clean up their shit..or forced to dig thru it when their stuff blows up in production.

Anyway I'm going to add him to code review and maybe email the whole team... and then go, now this is how I want our code to look.

I have co workers who laugh at me everytime I discuss to them how we should create clean code. (create functions for repeating code, naming conventions, generic code).

They would brag instead how they make another javascript ui library/plugin work(we are web developers by the way). Looks good in the front end but a mess in the backend.

I already created generic classes, generic database views that can be used by them if they want. But they create a new one with the same functionality.

I am a bit of a shy guy, and they are bit of loud, and I don't want to look like a know-it-all-guy, so I just let them do what they want.

I am just concerned how we can work easier by easily reading each others code.

The datepicker saga

Part one

So I begin work on a page where user add their details, project is late, taking ages on this page

Nearly done, just need a component to allow users to put in some date of births. Look for react components.

Avoiding that one because fuck Bootstrap.

Ah-ha, that looks good, let's give it a go.

CSS doesn't exist, oh need copy it over from npm dist. Great it applied but...

... WTF it's tiny. Thought it was a problem with my zoom. Nope found the issue in github.com and it's something to do with using REM rather than EM or something, okay someone provided a solution, rather I saw a couple of solutions, after some hacking around I got it working and pasted it in the right location and yes, it's a reasonable size now.

Only it's a bit crap because it only allows scrolling 1 month at a time. No good. Hunting through the docs reveals several options to add year and month drop downs and allow them to be scrolled. Still a bit shit as it only shows certain years, figure I'd set the start date position somewhere at the average.

Wait. The up button on the scroll doesn't even show, it's just a blank 5px button. Mouse scroll doesn't work

Fucking...

... Bailing on that.

Part 2

Okay sod it I'll just make my own three drop down select boxes, day, month and year. Easy.

At this point I take full responsibility and cannot blame any third party. And kids, take this as a lesson to plan out your code fully and make no assumptions on the simplicity of the problem.

For some reason (of which I regretted much) I decided to abstract things so much I made an array of three objects for each drop down. Containing the information to pretty much abstract away the field it was dealing with. This sort of meta programming really screwed with my head, I have lines like the following:

[...].map(optionGroup =>
optionGroup.options[
parseInt(
newState[optionGroup.momentId]
, 10)
]
)...

But I was in too deep and had to weave my way through this kind of abstract process like an intrepid explorer chopping through a rain forest with a butter knife.

So I am using React and Redux, decided it was overkill to use Redux to control each field. Only trouble is of course when the user clicks one of the fields, it doesn't make sense in redux to have one of the three fields selected. And I wanted to show the field title as the first option. So I went against good practice and used state to keep track of the fields before they are handed off to the parent/redux. What a nightmare that was.

Possibly the most challenging part was matching my indices with moment.js to get the UI working right, it was such a meta mess when it just shouldn't have taken so stupidly long.

But, I begin to see the light at the end of this tunnel, it's slowly coming together. And when it all clicks into place I sit back and actually quite enjoy my abysmal attempt at clean and easy to read code.

Part 3

Ran the generated timestamp through a converter and I get the day before, oh yeah that's great

Seems like it's dependant on the timezone??!

Nope. Deploying. Bye. I no longer care if daylight savings makes you a day younger.

I currently work on a legacy system for a company. The system is really old - and although I was hired as a programmer, my job is pretty much glorified data entry. To summarise, I get a bunch of requirements, which is literally just lots of data for each month on spreadsheets and I have to configure the system to make it work, which is basically just writing a whole bunch of SQL scripts.

It’s not quite as simple as that, because whoever wrote the system originally really wrote it backwards, and in fact, the analysts who create the spreadsheets actually spend a fair bit of time verifying my work because the process is so tedious that it’s easy to make a mistake.

As you can guess, it is pretty much the most boring job ever. However, it’s a full time job with decent pay, and I work remotely so I can stay home with my son.

So I’ve been doing it for about 18 months and in that time, I’ve basically figured out all the traps to the point where I’ve actually written a program which for the past 6 months has been just doing the whole thing for me. So what used to take the last guy like a month, now takes maybe 10 minutes to clean the spreadsheet and run it through the program.

Now the problem is, do I tell them? If I tell them, they will probably just take the program and get rid of me. This isn’t like a company with tons of IT work - they have a legacy system where they keep all their customer data since forever, and they just need someone to maintain it. At the same time, it doesn’t feel like I’m doing the right thing. I mean, right now, once I get the specs, I run it through my program - then every week or so, I tell them I’ve completed some part of it and get them to test it. I even insert a few bugs here and there to make it look like it’s been generated by a human.

There might be amendments to the spec and corresponding though email etc, but overall, I spend probably 1-2 hours per week on my job for which I am getting a full time wage.

I really enjoy the free time but would it be unethical to continue with this arrangement without mentioning anything? It’s not like I’m cheating the company. The company has never indicated they’re dissatisfied with my performance and in fact, are getting exactly what they want from employing me.

Start to clean. It makes coding look wayyyy more fun.

So, in C#, are there any tips or guidelines as to how to write "clean" multiline strings? I mean, imo it doesn't look as neat when the code looks like:

static string kindOfLongVariableName = @"First line of string.
Second line of string...";

With the first line sort of hovering on the side. What I'm used to is with Python where you can just:

variable_name = """'\
First line.
Second line.
"""

And use the '\' to escape the newline, but that obviously doesn't work in C#. Can anyone point me in a direction to start looking? The docs are a bit confusing and not very beginner friendly. :/

Too many people seem to think that "goto" in C is the worst thing you could do. It's an abomination, never use it! (Not something I've seen here per se, just generally around)

Challenge:
Break out of a loop inside a loop without using goto, and make it look pretty. Seriously, I don't think it can be done, and goto just makes it so clean!

I've ranted about this before, but here we go again:

Go Plugins.

I was racking my brains trying to figure out how one could possibly implement plugins easily in Go.

I had a look at using RPC, which requires far to much boilerplate to be realistic. I looked at using Lua, but there doesn't seem to be a straight forward way of using it. I was even about to go with using WASM (yes, WASM). But then I came across Yaegi ("Yet another elegant Go interpreter", you heard right: "interpreter"), Yaegi is also very easy to use.

There are a few issues (including some I haven't solved yet), including flexibility (multiple types of plugins), module support, etc. Fortunately, Traefik just released their plugin system which is based on Yaegi (same company), and I got to learn a few tricks from them.

Here's how module loading works: The developer vendors their dependencies and pushes them to a repo. The user downloads the repo as a zip and saves it to the plugins folder. I hash the zip, unzip it to a cache, and set the the GOPATH for the interpreter to be that extracted folder. I then load the module (which is defined by a config file in the folder), and save it for later. This is the relatively easy part.

The hard part is allowing for different types of plugins. It looks easy, but Go has a strict typing system, makes things complicated. I'm in the process of solving this problem, and so far it should go like this: Check that the plugin fits an arbitrary interface, and if it does, we're good the go. I will just have to apply the returned plugin to that interface. I don't like this method for a few reasons, but hopefully with generics it will become a bit more clean.

Serverless and death of Programming?!

_TL;DR_
I hate serverless at work, love it at home, what's your advice?
- Is this the way things be from now on, suck it up.
- This will mature soon and Code will be king again.
- Look for legacy code work on big Java monolith or something.
- Do front-end which is not yet ruined.
- Start my own stuff.

_Long Rant_

Once one mechanic told me "I become mechanic to escape electrical engineering, but with modern cars...". I'm having similar feelings about programming now.

_Serverless Won_
All of the sudden everyone is doing Serverless, so I looked into it too, accidentally joined the company that does enterprise scale Serverless mostly.
First of all, I like serverless (AWS Lambda in specific) and what it enables - it makes 100% sense and 100% business sense for 80% of time.

So all is great? Not so much... I love it as independent developer, as it enables me to quickly launch products I would have been hesitant due to effort required before. However I hate it in my work - to be continued bellow...

_I'm fake engineer_
I love programming! I love writing code. I'm not really an engineer in the sense that I don't like hustle with tools and spending days fixing obscure environment issues, I rather strive for clean environment where there's nothing between me and code. Of course world is not perfect and I had to tolerate some amounts of hustle like Java and it's application servers, JVM issues, tools, environments... JS tools (although pain is not even close to Java), then it was Docker-ization abuse everywhere, but along the way it was more or less programming at the center. Code was the king, devOps and business skills become very important to developers but still second to code. Distinction here is not that I can't or don't do engineering, its that it requires effort, while coding is just natural thing that I can do with zero motivation.

_Programming is Dead?!_
Why I hate Serverless at work? Because it's a mess - I had a glimpse of this mess with microservices, but this is way worse...

On business/social level:
- First of all developers will be operations now and it's uphill battle to push for separation on business level and also infrastructure specifics are harder to isolate. I liked previous dev-devops collaboration before - everyone doing the thing that are better at.
- Devs now have to be good at code, devOps and business in many organisations.
- Shift of power balance - Code is no longer the king among developers and I'm seeing it now. Code quality drops, junior devs have too hard of the time to learn proper coding practices while AWS/Terraform/... is the main productivity factors. E.g. same code guru on code reviews in old days - respectable performer and source of Truth, now - rambling looser who couldn't get his lambda configured properly.

On not enjoying work:
- Lets start with fact - Code, Terraform, AWS, Business mess - you have to deal with all of it and with close to equal % amount of time now, I want to code mostly, at least 50% of time.
- Everything is in the air ("cloud computing" after all) - gone are the days of starting application and seeing results. Everything holds on assumptions that will only be tested in actual environment. Zero feedback loop - I assume I get this request/SQS message/..., I assume I have configured all the things correctly in sea of Terraform configs and modules from other repos - SQS queues, environment variables... I assume I taken in consideration tens of different terraform configurations of other lambdas/things that might be affected...

It's a such a pleasure now, after the work to open my code editor and work on my personal React.js app...

Being victim of an arbitrary worplace's culture on dev experience and documentation makes me a very frustrated dev.

Often I do want to document, and by that, I don't mean laying an inline comment that is exactly the function's name, I mean going full technical writer on steroids. I can and WILL get very verbose, yes, explaining every single way you can use a service - no matter how self explanatory the code might look.
I know developers (and me included) can, and sometimes will, write the best variable and function names at the time, wondering if they reached the peak of clean, DRY code that would make Robert Martin have a seizure and piss himself, only to find weeks later after working on something else that their work is unreadable. Of course.
I know the doc's public, it's me, and I've done this.

But then again explain for the people in the back how the FUUUUCK are we meant to suggest improvements, when we are not the ones who are prioritising features and shit WITH the business?

Just email me when the fucking team recycles, and no new team member knows how to even setup the IDEs because this huge piece of monumental shit called CompanyTM is also run by VPN. Fuck, no one wants to access that garbage, you have no docs.

I once tried setting up a culture for documentation. I did an herculean amount of work studying what solutions were internally homologated, how steep the learning curve would be from what we had at the moment (NOTHING, WE HAD FUCKING NOTHING, jesus christ, I even interviewed SEVENTEEN other squads to PROVE they FUCKING NEED
DOCS
TO WORK

You know what happened to that effort?
It had a few "clap" reactions on a Teams meeting and it never reached the kanban.
It didn't even made it to backlog.

I honestly hope that, someday, an alien fenomenon affects the whole company, making their memories completely reset, only to have the first one - after the whole public ordeal on why our brains became milkshake -, to say: "oh, boy, I wish we had documented this".
Then I will bring them to the back and shoot them.

I feel like writing or telling people about the time I jumped from Windows 7 Ultimate and jumping to Windows 10. (I'm not against 10, but I'm never updating after what had happened to me)
It all starts when none of my games will play due to a possible issue with my graphics card. I look up "3D source game bug" and not many results pop up. I go on Microsoft's Qna areas and ask this question but to my surprise nothing they say would make sense. "Clean the pins of your graphics card, make sure you verify the games on Steam". I verified the games and they checked out as perfectly fine. I don't have access to my graphics card because this is a laptop, sadly not a tower.
Two months pass and my computer is already showing signs of stress, like it didn't want to live in a sense. It was three times slower than when I was on Windows 7 and it was unallocating areas of my main hard drive where I could make virtual hard drives.
Instantly I start looking up Linux distros and find Linux Mint. 17.3 was the current version at the time. I downloaded it and burned it onto a DVD-rom and rebooted my computer. I loaded into the disc and to my surprise it seemed almost like Windows 7 apart from the Linux part. I grab my external hard drive and partition it to hold the Linux distro and leave it plugged in incase Windows 10 does actually fail.
On December 19, a few months after Windows 10 had released. I start my laptop to try and continue my studies in video game development. But to my surprise, Windows 10 had finally crashed permanently. The screen flickered blue and black, and an error box saying Loginui.exe failed to start. I look at it for a solid minute as my computer had just committed suicide in a sense.
I reboot thinking it would fix the error but it didn't. I couldn't log in anymore.
I force shutdown the laptop and turn it back on putting it into safe mode.
To my surprise loginui.exe works and I sign in. I look at my desktop, the space wallpaper I always admired, the sound files, screen shots I had saved.
I go into file explorer and grab everything out of my default hard drive Windows was installed on. Nothing but 400gb got left behind and that was mainly garbage prototypes I had made and Windows itself. I formatted my external hard drive and placed everything on it. Escaping Windows 10 with around 100GB of useful data I looked at the final shutdown button I would look at.
I click it and try to boot into normal Windows 10. But it doesn't work. It flickers and the error pops up once more.
I force it to shutdown and insert the previous Linux Mint disc I made and format the default hard drive through Linux. I was done. 10 gave me a lot of shit. Java wouldn't work, my games has a functional UI but no screen popped up except a black abyss and it wouldn't even let me try to update my graphics card, apparently my AMD Radeon 5450 was up to date at the AMD Radeon 5000's.
I installed Linux Mint and thinking the games would actually play I open steam and Launch Half-Life 2 to check if Linux would be nicer to me than Windows 10 had been.
To my surprise the game ran. The scene from Highway 17 popped on screen and the UI was fully functional. But it was playing at 10-15fps rather than the usual 60-70fps. Keep look at my drivers and see my graphics card isn't in use. I do some research and it turns out I have a Hybrid Laptop.
Intel HD Graphics and an AMD Radeon 5450 and it was using the Intel and not the AMD. Months of testing and attempts of getting the games to work at high frame rates pass and the Damn thing still functions at a low terrible fps. Finally I give up. I ask my mom for a Windows 7 disc and she says we can't afford it. A few months pass and I finally get a Windows 7 installation disc through money I've saved up. Proudly I put it into my optical disc drive and install it to my main hard drive deleting Linux completely. I announced to all my friends my computer was back in working order and I install everything I needed, Steam, Skype, Blender, and Unity as well as all my games. I test Half-Life 2 and it's running exceptionally smoothly, I test Minecraft at max settings and it's working beautifully. The computer was functioning properly once again and my life as a developer started as I modeled things and blender, learned beginners C# and learned a lot of Batch. Today the computer still runs at a great speed and I warn others of what happened to me after I installed Windows 10 to my machine if they are thinking of switching from 7 or 8 on an older machine.
Truly the damage to my data cannot be undone. But the memory of the maintenance, work, tests, all are a memory of how Windows 10 ruined me and every night before the one year anniversary of Windows 10's release, I took out the battery of my laptop and unplugged it from the a.c. power, just so Windows 10 doesn't show it's DLLs, batch scripts, vbs scripts, anything on my computer. But now, after this has happened and I have recovered, I now only have a story to tell

May's last week was very hectic. I had just finished my final exams and there were going to be semester project evaluations in that whole week.

@safiullah and me had decided to make a whole Social Network with all features in it, for the DB course project.
All other classmates were making small management systems like ticket booking and etc.
We thought that if we really wanted to learn DB concepts then we should come up with something different than a management panel.
Hence we did it. This was the first time we used a framework. Well, I had written that PHP framework while i was learning about how frameworks work and the way they are made. So it wasn't a big thing but it was something which could be used as a base for clean and organized code.

It took about a month of commits and pushes and it resulted in a very good social network. It had all the features and algorithms present in a starter social network.

For us students, we were happy to see what a fine job we had done. We learnt a lot and used new concepts.

When we went to the instructor, she asked us to sit down and show the project. @safiullah placed the laptop, and logged out from the social network so that he could show her a demo.
She exclaimed,"Why did you do it (Log out) ?"
He replied: "To show you how it works🤷🏻‍♂️"
She:"Get to the previous state and leave it"
Then she asked different questions like what was a post request in php and how it differed from get? what library for DB connection was used... etc.
We explained each and every step.

She saw the frontend design and said "You've just added text to the elements" as If we were showing her a theme demo with hard coded text accomplished by inspect element.

She did not take a look at any other page than the one we had shown her at start. She navigated to no other page and asked nothing about what total features were implemented and how they were done?

Then she said Thank You and we left.

After some days marks were uploaded in LMS and we were just two points above the average.

She took no look and gave us the least when our project was the best.
I'm 100 percent sure she thought that we were showing her a project copied from somewhere else. 🤣

!dev

Through life, I've heard some people say horror movies are bad, that they promote violence (usually religious people).

Of course I think that's pure bs, but I think I could provide one argument that is hard to deny, so here it goes, although I might go off rails at the end.

I'll preface with this: life itself is violent. Violence, the word, is mostly used to describe immoral inflictions of harm on other beings.

But you can also say that some deaths are violent by themselves too, event those that weren't caused by humans, like a disease or a natural disaster.

This would be the "visual" meaning of the word, "the way it looks", the shock of humans when observing something gruesome/violent.

That described, it's not hard to also think that technological advancements in modern western life has made such observations of violence very unfrequent for people.

And naturally, modern people get accustomed to the lack of these observations. So accustomed that when they happen they become traumatic.

Because of this, people react weirdly to death. One reaction is censoring the topic. Another reaction is trivializing it, as if it doesn't really matter.

Sometimes they can't even accept old people dying at 90, an awfully stupid reaction in my opinion.

Another interesting reaction is personifying diseases as if they were villains ruining lives intentionally.

Or at least that's what it feels until you look at them through a microscope and realize that diseases aren't more evil than bread changing flavour after toasting.

All of these irrationality and cowardice comes from low exposure to violence, and that's where horror movies balance things out.

Some diseases in the real life can put some of the worst horror movies to shame.

The human body itself is pending violence. Why? Because when you die all sort of worms eat your fucking flesh. And sometimes that happens even before you die.

We bury humans because of the diseases corpses transmit, but also because we don't like the spectacle and the aesthetics of the rotting process.

Just picture for a second bad things happening to your body, and if you feel that is making you too uncomfortable, then maybe you got too used to this too.

I think horror movies help us to remember the reality of our inminent and intrinsic violence.

In ancient times, you would live outdoors, stepping on dirt, and be very used to "bad" things happening to humans.

Nowadays, most homes are sterile clean, and it's unlikely to observe violence.

Oh, some family member is pucking blood and dying from something? Send em to a hospital, or an elderly care center. Don't need to witness that!

I understand and accept grief. What I don't understand or accept is the vilification of death, describing it as something wrong that shouldn't happen.

it almost feels like a burden, like you shouldn't die when you're young, that it's an unforgivable thing to happen.

Well thanks, society, you can't even fucking die in peace.

I would love to die (no suicide) in a mildly celebratory way, watching people around me smile. I think that would be a good ending for me.

But no. Most of my relatives would be fucking crying like the chickenshits they are, ruining it for me.

And that scares the shit out me: people usually say the scary part of dying is that they die alone.

Well that's what dying alone would mean to me: watching people cry instead of smiling at me.

When my grandma died at 80, with all the achievements she made, I considered her death a success, also considering how quick it was. And because of that I didn't mourn for too long.

In fact, I don't even consider her dead, and not because of some religious mumbo jumbo. I guess the memories are still alive in me, I don't know.

Some famous chunk of coal said once that he felt people don't believe they're gonna die. And I agree with him.

Another upside of horror movies is that they hurt nobody, which is why you can enjoy it and not get ptsd, unlink watching a snuff film.

I will also be fair and add that this might a be a cultural thing, but deep down desire for survival is a genetic thing could play a big part in this too.

Alright, it's been a while since I expressed my thoughts/feelings but here is what I'm dealing with.

Ever since I was a kid I've played games and even ended up enjoying the testing of new beta games more than actually playing games. The first games I played were atomic bomberman and worms. I was 4 at the time and lived in Denmark. By the age of 6 I moved to The Netherlands and have dealt with 8 years of being bullied for a reason I do not know. So as you can imagine I've dealt with a serious depression for a while and have always felt out of place.

Later after a few failed attempts of following an education I got into development. This was after I wasn't accepted into an education of game design. The course I follow now describes itself as application development but all we're doing there is building websites and not learning a proper way to keep code clean.

In the second year of the three year course we had to follow our first internship. This was the first positive thing I've had with school in my entire life. I ended up working for a company that had a game which tested your skill, the game was used by recruiters for bigger companies to pre select the right people for interviews. I had a look at the code of the game and it was a mess, after a couple of meetings further I managed to get them far enough that I could start working on a complete rewrite of their game.

So far it's been a rough road to becoming a game dev but I most certainly hope to own a studio one day. Now I only need to manage until I've got there

So my laptop screen started flickering to black when movement occures on screen, making it look like a stroboscope and giving me a sweet migraine.
Impossible to code, write, browse or get anything done. Good bye finishing deadlines on time.
Don't know what's wrong, hardware or software, I have no freaking idea. But I'm tempted to take this as a oppertunity to blame windows10 whipe my computer clean and running some Linux OS instead.

Yesterday I asked a question on stack overflow about what algorithm I should use in order to parse command line strings like in gnu getopt for example.. And I've got downvoted for no GOOD FUCKING REASON. On top of that, my question is on hold. WTF?! For some time now stack overflow is becoming more and more a community of fucking cunts, arse-holes and toxic people.

Title:
" What parser algorithm is best suited for command line parsing? [on hold] "

My question:
"I want to write my own command line library from scratch. What algorithm should I use in order to parse gnu style args like in getopt for example ? I mean what's the best way other than tokenizing and parse them in a naive way? Should I try to look at LR, LL algorithms or this is way too overkill?"

Their response:
"Your question sounds like "I want to do X. What's the best way to do it?". Too broad, you need to be more specific about what problem you're having. (And keep your question clean. No meta-stuff in there.)"

I mean, what more context-specific reason should I add you dense motherfucker!? I want an algorithm to parse your momma's cunt so hard 'till it blows the fuck up. This what you want? You fucking senseless piece of garbage. God, give me a car to run over their fucking internet cable and over their head, too.

On This Episode of Ghetto Medium..

Posted after midnight for extra spooky effects. Read in the dark at your own risk. You've been warned.

So my mother has been on a binge watching shows like long island medium (apparently the taller your hair the closer you are to god or something), and every time we talk she begins at length to talk about, you guessed it.. 'ghosts.'

Now don't get me wrong, I've had some 'spooby' shit occur in my lifetime, the sort that will tighten your sphincter faster than bill cosby asking you if you want some koolaid or grape drank, but I digress.

The ghost talk is tiring. Lately theres been a *flood* of these new shows, purportedly showing mediums and people who can 'look into the other side' and I realize just how vapid and ridiculous it's all become, as if they all are being personally haunted by the ghost of John Edwards burnt out husk of a career. Theres long island beehive big-hair medium, celebrity medium, allison DuBois (the inspiration for that one sappy show *medium*) whos red hair and vacant stare speak of glimpses into centuries past like an intimate unseen horizon. or maybe she forgot to unplug her curling iron in a hotel one time and has been rendered permanently catatonic. And who can forget *Beyond With James Van Praagh* (everyone) whos face, as measured by the width of his mustache, appears to be expanding at a constant rate like a bad image macro edit thats been memed and repasted a thousand times. Then theres Chip Coffee, whos name is about as believable as his teaching degree on the show *Psychic Kids* where he mentored, again, you guessed it, *psychic kids*. Of course theres Tyler Henry, a youthful, uh, "flamboyant" medium for celebrities with ghost problems. Never trust a man with two names, this ones no exception, he looks so clean cut hes either secretly mormon, or secretly gay, maybe both. I'm not judging, but I am saying if I ever saw his clean cut, smooth, wrinkless (seriously, how tyler? how?), all american face, say smiling that subtle smile outside my kitchen sliding glass door at 3 am, his face watching me from the pitch dark outside, I wouldn't at all be surprised, except for the hospital bill I'd have to pay after shitting a brick and needing anal surgery.

At this rate we have mediums popping out left and right, like clowns at one of them R.L Stein nightmare carnivals, or beggers outside a methodone clinic. Geez, they're coming out the wood work, like those painting you see with hidden faces in them, or wheres-waldo posters, only you're trying to find the non-waldo guy amongst all the characters because they're ALL waldo: goofy acting, goofy dressing, and just all around goofy looking.

At this rate I'm fully expecting "pet medium" (starring a character named Stephen King and his marital problems, played by johnny depp eating way to much corn), and "haunted objects medium", and "car medium" (it's just seinfeld in a car, talking to psychics instead of other people), and "ghetto medium."

Today on this episode of "Ghetto Medium"..

Medium: Teneesha, aw yeah girl, u *definitely* ded gurl, uh huh! You WAY to white too be alive, you done passed over gurl!

And in the next episode of Ghetto Medium, one man claims "every time I bend over I can hear "wOoOoOoOoO!, Is my asshole possessed? Find out is it real or fake, and what our verdict is in Ghost Medium, episode 3: A Haunting In My Nether-regions."

Cut commercial break.

"Jerry Springer: One women asks, 'jerry, is my unborn child's foreskin haunted? And later today we ask the crowd, would you have sex with a ghost?"

Welcome to American television 'programming' in 2019.

Yes, it's all brainwashing.

I'm trying to convert a legacy .NET Framework web api to .NET Core, the project and its supporting libraries are in awful conditions and to make things worse at a certain point someone has the genius idea of introducing Uncle Bob's "Clean" Architecture into a part of it so stuff which could simply look like this

public string doStuff(string input){
// Do the stuff
return output;
}

becomes a convoluted mess like this

public class StuffDoerRequest {
public string Input{get;set;}
}

public class StuffDoerResponse {
public string Output{get;set;}
}

public interface IStuffDoer {
public StuffDoerResponse Execute(StuffDoerRequest request);
}

public class StuffDoer {
public StuffDoerResponse Execute(StuffDoerRequest request) {
// Do the stuff
return new StuffDoerResponse() {
Output = actualFuckingOutput;
}
}
}

Edit: sorry for the lack of indentation, apparently DevRant trims leading whitespace

The most fun I ever had coding was when I first discovered Kotlin. After using java for most of the time I've been programming, Kotlin felt like a godsend. When working on converting one of my old projects, I was amazed by the reduced verbosity and just how clean it felt.

To any devs that still use java at all, do yourself a favour and take a look at Kotlin (kotlinlang.org)

So I just downloaded devRantron and it's great, it was so easy to install with the .deb file, the website for getting it looked very proffesional and the program itself also look very clean and overall proffesional. The only thing I wish they could have made would be for the boxes containg the rants to be wider, but overall it's amazing!

Why is it that everything looks so ugly in Ubuntu? By everything, I mean the IDEs (Eclipse/Intellij), editors (sublime/vs code) and even the web pages. They look more clean and pleasing in Windows or Mac.
Is there a extension or plugin that'll make things look "pleasing"?
Sure, I can edit the font to be anything I want in vs code, but it is only for the editor. The sidebar and the menu still is in default system font (I don't like Ubuntu font)

Soooo I have been taking my learning experience to Hackerrank.com, so that I can give myself some training with actual problems to solve instead of all theory, and today I'm working on one of the Challenges, and and I'm slowly getting it and working at it, then im looking at the code and think man I can clean this up a bit and merge things and make it look pretty! So I slave away and making it look pretty and stuff. I look at the code, all 70 lines of code and I'm so happy with my work. I pressed submit, of course I passed it! I had made sure every bit of my code made sense... After I finish and am so happy, I decide to take a look at what other people answered......

While my answer was 70 lines of code, almost everybody else's was AT MOST 18-20 lines of code!! Uggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Makes me feel like I got a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGGGGGGGGGG way to go...

devRant, Ineed your advice / help. This following year I'm going to study in the afternoon again. Since this year I don't have to do an intership, I wanted to start working in the morning. There are some problems though:

I never had a job
I'm still 17 so, even if I can legally work, companies don't like to hire underage people
I'm a punk, so even if I'm a really passionate person and I try to give my best always, I've already had been rejected because how I look (literally)

So, I wanted to know how can I build a professional looking CV and how to show to the requiter my GitHub (and now gitea) accounts, if I should clean my repositories, etc...

I'm basically searching advice on how to get my first job. Skills aren't the issue since I know how to code, manage networks, server infrastructures...

Thanks :D

Wow! This is a popular topic!

I would say myself... Many developers I look up to and impress the fuck out of me... But I think I'm still not half bad.

However, while I haven't met them, the number of times I've had to clean up the shittiest code from developers who have been and gone is astonishing... So... So bad... Like what the actual fuck...

HTML Writers Guidelines

When designing your web site you want to make the visiting experience as enjoyable as possible and at the same time make it so that if the site needs to be changed in any way, the changes are not too difficult to make. You want the look to be as appealing as possible for all browsers and also make the site accessible to users with disabilities. In order to accomplish all this there are some general guidelines when creating your HTML code.

1. The first thing that will really make your life easier is through the use of Cascading Style Sheets (CSS) - CSS is used to maintain the look of the document such as the fonts, margins and color. HTML directly on the page is not a good choice to handle these aspects because if say, the font color you are using for certain paragraphs needs to be changed from blue to red, you would have to go in and change each color tag manually. By using CSS you can designate the color for each of those paragraphs just once in the CSS file. That way if you have to change the font color from blue to red you make one change instead of the countless number of changes you might have to make, especially if your web site contains hundreds of pages. This is a big time saver and a must for all professionally designed web sites.

2. Don't use the FONT tag directly in your HTML code - This becomes a problem when using some cheap authoring tools that try to mimic what a web page should look like by using excessive FONT tags and nbsp characters. These tools end up creating web pages that are impossible to keep maintained. There is a program you can use, if you've created one of these disaster pages, called the HTML Tidy Program which you can actually download here . This will clean up your code as well as possible.

3. You want your web pages readable to people who have disabilities - People who surf the Internet depend on speech synthesizers or Braille readers to interpret the text on the page. If your HTML markup is sloppy or isn't contained in CSS the software these people use to read pages have a difficult time in interpreting these pages. You should also include descriptions for each image on your page. Also, don't use server side image maps. If you are using tables you should include a summary of the table's structure and also associate table data with the correct headers. This gives non visual browsers a chance to follow the page as they go from one cell to another. And finally, for forms, make sure you include labels for form fields.

By following just these three guidelines you give your visitors, especially disabled visitors the best chance of having an enjoyable visit to your site while at the same time making it so that if you have to make changes to your site, those changes can be made easily and quickly.

Look, I get that you want your front to be really, really, reallyyyy fancy! But when that fanciness comes at a price, more specifically speed! Then we're going to have a problem. Look... Not everyone has super fast internet, and when your website thinks it's better to load the entire website and not the sign in first, then we're going to have issues.

No it doesn't work that way. I don't want to be mounted by ads, Let me IN quickly and quietly, and we won't have any issues.

TLDR Front End developers like squeaky shiny and clean, but neglect the sign-in dialog

when i look at the code structure of the project i work on with my friends, i always think about how to implement the SOLID principles of bob martin for clean code
... and then i think about the clusterfuck of almost unmaintainable code that has been created over time and all the unit testing that doesn't exist at all and how much time and effort it would need to correct that code and how i realize that i don't even understand the principles and how to implement them
... and then i give up and go on coding even more mess
... and then i repeat😅😖😩

I'm not there yet, but hopefully, someday, I'll be an expert in making clean, maintainable code. I want others to look at it and say, "ah, I get it" without staring at it for a long time.

Has ANYONE ever seen an example of a clean, usable LCARS-style user interface for anything practical or everyday use? It was always so cool to look at on ST:TNG but every time I see it put into practice, it falls apart. I don’t know why I want it so bad, but I do.

I'm doing a website for a client that owns a typical British village pub, this is part of the brief:
"Clean, Warm, Colourful modern look with a rustic feel to compliment the internal physical attributes of the pub"

So contradicting.

TLDR: Read the post.

Part of me watches the day fly by as I work through the various stories and issues my company has as we walk through the various phases and clean up of their own stupidity of outsourcing. I guess it would be unfair to say “stupidity” It was really a money thing. Excuses aside, the alcohol today tastes amazing as I work through the issues, nothing is ever the same, nothing is ever redundant or boring. There are times where you want to pull your hair out, jump off a building and question why the hell any one would write code, specifically Laravel this way.

I watch the internet from now and then and see the cry babies whine and complain about GitHub and Microsoft jumping into bed and their favourite, and mine too, editor falling into Microsoft’s hands.

It’s disgusting and completely childish, but I digress. The last time I was here the alcoholism and the loneliness had begun pushing me towards the Nicotine and suicide. I have managed to obviously push through and watch the money come in only for adult life to take it away, I guess that’s life. Complaining about it will do nothing other then show others how much control you lack in your own life. You quiet your complaints and bury them deep inside your mind where they fester and stir and become drowned in alcohol.

Dating is even harder, especially when you work from home, so much so that I have completely given up there, any semblance of social life is buried in Final Fantasy 14 online, where pixels and text other people write have become my friend, at least for a moment or two before the work takes over and I sit in a room blaring music and watching the code I write, appear on screen like some savant who has high functioning autism but can create amazing works of art. I don’t think I am autistic though.

The truth is I don’t mind my job, I love the money and the freedom as I stated before.

Code for me is like a seed of anger that starts deep in my core, festering, eating away at me, killing me slowly and branding me a fool. The problem is the best feeling, when there is a problem I can solve it with code, when there is a problem that cannot be solved by code I take solace in the problems that can be. I don’t like people, I hate offices and I despise dealing with my own personal issues, I would rather drink and vape until the nicotine and the alcohol has made me sufficiently numb.

Code is a place I can escape, a place I have control, a place where I don’t feel like blowing my brains out at the stupidity of other people. Have I mentioned that I hate people?

The internet is full of idiots, people ranting and raving about this and that and how it affects them oh so much, when they don’t even let their own code, there own programming problems, and in most cases shitty solutions, affect them. Look at this GitHub thing, the idiots are running around with their heads cut off, waiting for the world to end or in most cases acting like it has. Companies get bought, bill get paid, people leave each other – Shut the fuck up and deal with it.
I guess if you look back at what I have written you could say the same thing to me, boo-fucking-hoo working from home sucks sometimes, grow up and deal with it like an adult. Fair enough, I’ll take my lumps. Excuse me as I continue to drink this post away and watch the downvotes come in. I guess honesty comes with a double edge sword.

And yes I would rather use alcohol as a solution then deal with the issues.

I'm not much of a front-end dev and tasked myself to make a site for the dev group I'm in. Figured that it doesn't need any big libraries since it's a simple one page.

Boy was I wrong. After about 3 to 4 hours of getting nowhere with css, switched to Bulma and in about half an hour, not only did it look decent but it was responsive and fast and clean.

Bless bulma and it's developers. Sure saved my ass

Often when i see the annoying as hell t debug exceptionless let’s just bomb entirely but blazing fastness of c and c++ I feel like a nettard
I use c# for its immutable strings clean syntax and beautiful class markers that are redundant compared to c++ but ensure you tell after adding 1000 methods and total lack of all special characters to indicate reference and derreference and pretty lambda syntax... sure it’s lib poor but I get shit done goddamn it and can read my own code later
So why do I feel empty inside every time i run a ./configure and make under Linux like I’m missing some secret party where neat things are being done and want to sob like I do now
I am not a dotnettard even though 5.0 is an abomination in the eyes of man and god ! Even though Microsoft cooks up overcomplex framework technologies that make a wonderful language underused and make us all look like idiots that they then abandon into the scrap heap! We can’t help Linux users haven’t discovered how much nicer c# is and decided to implement it on their own and port their horrible undocumented ansi c bullshit can we ???? Oh god I feel
So hollow inside and betrayed ! Curse
You gates curse youuuu! Curse you for metro direct3d xna wpf then false promises of core ! May you have a special place in hell reserved for you and your cheap wallpaper shifting monitor paintings and a pool speaker that playeth not but bee jees and ac dc forever and ever amen !

Speaking of which do any c/c++ ides have anything that even begins to rival intellisense on Linux and don’t use some weird ass build system
Like cmake as their default ?

Oh sweet memories of time a while back when I already wrote this and still wasn’t getting then tail I deserved

Again

Hey guys, first time writing here.
Around 8 months ago I joined a local company, developing enterprise web apps. First time for me working in a "real" programming job: I've been making a living from little freelance projects, personal apps and private programming lessons for the past 10 years, while on the side I chased the indie game dev dream, with little success. Then, one day, realized I needed to confront myself with the reality of 'standard' business, where the majority of people work, or risk growing too old to find a stable job.
I was kinda excited at first, looking forward to learning from experienced professionals in a long-standing company that has been around for decades. In the past years I coded almost 100% solo, so I really wanted to learn some solid team practices, refine my automated testing skills, and so on. Also, good pay, flexible hours and team is cool.

Then... I actually went there.

At first, I thought it was me. I thought I couldn't understand the code because I was used reading only mine.
I thought that it was me, not knowing well enough the quirks of web development to understand how things worked.
I though I was too lazy - it was shocking to see how hard those guys worked: I saw one guy once who was basically coding with one hand, answering a mail with another, all while doing some technical assistance on the phone.

Then I started to realize.

All projects are a disorganized mess, not only the legacy ones - actually the "green" products are quite worse.
Dependency injection hell: it seems like half of the code has been written by a DI fanatic and the other half by an assembly nostalgic who doesn't really like this new hippy thing called "functions".
Architecture is so messed up there are methods several THOUSANDS of lines long, and for the love of god most people on the team don't really even know WHAT those methods are for, but they're so intertwined with the rest of the codebase no one ever dares to touch them.
No automated test whatsoever, and because of the aforementioned DI hell, it's freaking hard to configure a testing environment (I've been trying for two days during my days off, with almost no success).
Of course documentation is completely absent, specifications are spread around hundreds of mails and opaquely named files thrown around personal shared folders, remote archives, etc.

So I rolled my sleeves up and started crunching as the rest of the team. I tried to follow the boy-scout rule, when the time and scope allowed. But god, it's hard. I'm tired as fuck, I miss working on my projects, or at least something that's not a complete madness. And it's unbearable to manually validate everything (hundreds of edge cases) by hand.

And the rest of the team acts like it's all normal. They look so at ease in this mess. It's like seeing someone quietly sitting inside a house on fire doing their stuff like nothing special is going on.

Please tell me it's not this way everywhere. I want out of this. I also feel like I'm "spoiled", and I should just do like the others and accept the depressing reality of working with all of this. But inside me I don't want to. I developed a taste for clean, easy maintainable code and I don't want to give it up.

Does someone have a clean tool to create flowcharts? All tools that I know look like shit or behave like shit...

Working on an opencart eccommerce site I built in 2011... What the fuck was I doing?
Pushing the company to go for and upgrade / rebuild so I can clean it all up.
It was my first online shop AND my first opencart project... But even so... It's scary to look at. Works great, but the code layout is making me twitch.

How do you handle error checking? I always feel sad after I add error checking to a code that was beautifully simple and legible before.
It still remains so but instead of each line meaning something it becomes if( call() == -1 ) return -1; or handleError() or whatever.
Same with try catch if the language supports it.
It's awful to look at.
So awful I end up evading it forever.
"Malloc can't fail right? I mean it's theoetically possible but like nah", "File open? I'm not gonna try catch that! It's a tmp file only my program uses come oooon", all these seemingly reasonable arguments cross my head and makes it hard to check the frigging errors. But then I go to sleep and I KNOW my program is not complete. It's intentionally vulnerable. Fuck.
How do you do it? Is there a magic technique or one has to reach dev nirvana to realise certain ugliness and cluttering is necessary for the greater good sometimes and no design pattern or paradigm can make it clean and complete?

!dev
It's a public holiday (I follow company's country's public holidays).
Wake up. Feeling good.
See message wishing me that I don't wake up - lol.
Msg peeps hello, and go help mom she's in a rush.
Qt says hello.
Help mom go to work (garage door is manual).
Wish qt good luck with stuff today - no reply, guess I just missed her
Go back to sleep
(buddy using img-gen #awesome)
(client messages for standup)
Wake up again, Life's still good™️
Reply back, it's a public holiday but if they want other/extra days just let me know - all good.
Make brunch - bread has just gone bad, whatever got another. Ends up being heavier than expected.
Watch an episode of a show while eating, bit of a zzzz.
Jam some guitar, do decently but not quite getting it right - but it's fun so it's all right
Qt updates about day - sounds like fun
Check in with friend, seems to be doing ok, he's been dealing with a bunch of things atm.
Create fun project for a sudoku solver, set up the initial part, realise that the parsing is a bunch of boilerplate (decided to map each section to a variable with bit packing), realise it's easier to work with arrays instead.
Decide to nap
It gets too warm to stay in bed, doens't matter, feel physically even better (aka bags under eyes are much less)
Qt back online, shares cool pic of castle
Realise I can get best of both worlds using pointers... This is getting stupid, whatever.
Getting warm, qt sends pic of temp by her.
Oh, right, ice cream. Open it, clearly melted and refrozen slightly - it's ice cream doesn't matter.
Chat a bit with qt
Bot battle spams img-gen
img-gen randomly gets stuck because watching YT vid
Chat a bit with peeps
Order food for mom and I - because why not. Hmmm a bit pricey.
Chat a bit more with peeps till mom is home.
Go chat with mom food should be here soon...
App says food is on it's way, great I'm like 2 minutes away.
20 minutes later, (1 hour after ordering) call up, "um yeah, that will still take a while"
Friends messages, he's been made redundant after CEO explodes and fires managers
Mom getting annoyed, if she had had to work she'd have been in bed already.
Now 2 hours after ordering food, call up again. "Yeah it ready we're sending it over now" - great hang up.
Get food, it's good. They included an extra beer - they offered, and I picked, spring rolls, but whatever.
Finish the first beer, look at the bottle, it's grody - at least the neck is clean, same with the other bottle.
Chat with peeps
Realise that it's not as good as the one I remember. That's export vs local version, I guess.
Chat with qt
Realise it's late and didn't really touch projects I wanted to #ItHappens
Starting to get tired again
Me still happy. Glad I woke up chipper. Let the happy flow

Also, my PC randomly started having lag spikes today - should probably just reboot #WindowsProblems

Not really a rant, since I'm just kinda shrugging it off, but I know if I didn't wake up in such a good mood I would have been pretty annoyed. Perspective is everything or some other philosophical shenanigans, you guys tell me the right term/saying

*me trying to fix the preview issue by editing layout file*
*issue gets fixed by clean build*
*me implementing a new feature as per plan*
*suddenly another issue occurs with the items in recycler view*
*tries SO, no related question and me too scared to ask one*
*trying different names, keywords, ids and methods to get atleast some output*
*checks json and recycler adapter, all fine but still the error*
*hello darkness my old friend*
*checks the item layout again with a microscopic look and encounters a 0 added to layout width which makes 95dp to 950dp and hence no output somehow*
*2 hours and sunday mood wasted*

Does it make sense to buy a Nintendo Switch second hand? What should I look for, besides that the console is clean and the screen has no burn-ins or dead spots?

Why do you give yourself a clean shave?

I don’t get it, men look so much better with facial hair

Programming is like when you need to clean up cables (make them look better).
You start motivated, you got a good idea of how you are going to it.... and after some time passes and you see nothing's better now... you say "fuck it" and continue to do what you wanted to do.

How many of you use QMK? I'm thinking of a docker-based bootstrap project for it. The benefits of the project are that you don't have to fork the qmk_firmware repo and install the dependencies; this results in a 1-click compile on any OS, and a very clean repo for other to look at and fork.

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Swim Corps USA: Your Trusted Swim Academy and Swimming School in Temecula
If you’re looking for a swim academy or swimming school in Temecula that offers expert instruction, personalized programs, and a supportive learning environment, look no further than Swim Corps USA. Located at 39716 Winchester Rd, Temecula, CA 92591, our swim academy is dedicated to helping swimmers of all ages and skill levels develop their swimming abilities, build confidence, and achieve their aquatic goals.

At Swim Corps USA, we pride ourselves on providing top-tier swimming education through a variety of tailored programs. Whether you're a beginner just learning to swim or an experienced swimmer aiming to improve your technique, our swimming school offers the right lessons for you.

Why Choose Swim Corps USA as Your Swim Academy?
Choosing the right swim academy is key to developing strong swimming skills in a safe and supportive environment. Here are just a few reasons why Swim Corps USA stands out as a leading swimming school in Temecula:

1. Certified, Experienced Instructors
At Swim Corps USA, we understand the importance of quality instruction. Our team of certified and experienced swimming instructors has a passion for teaching and helping students achieve their swimming goals. Whether you're learning the basics or advancing to more complex strokes, our team is here to guide you through every step of the process.

2. Customized Programs for All Ages and Skill Levels
We offer a range of programs for swimmers of all ages and skill levels. From swimming lessons for children and adults to advanced swim training, our swim academy tailors each lesson to fit your individual needs. Whether you're looking for private lessons or prefer group classes, we provide a variety of options that help each swimmer progress at their own pace.

3. Focus on Water Safety and Technique
At Swim Corps USA, we don’t just teach swimming—we teach water safety. Understanding how to stay safe in and around water is a vital skill for every swimmer. In addition to learning strokes and endurance techniques, our swimming school emphasizes the importance of water safety, helping students build confidence while swimming in different environments.

4. State-of-the-Art Facilities
Our swim academy boasts modern, clean, and well-maintained pools, creating the perfect setting for learning and improving your swimming skills. The comfortable and safe environment ensures that students of all ages feel at ease while practicing and mastering new skills.

5. Flexible Scheduling and Convenient Location
Located at 39716 Winchester Rd, Temecula, CA 92591, Swim Corps USA is centrally located for easy access by residents of Temecula, Murrieta, and surrounding areas. We offer flexible scheduling for our swimming school programs, ensuring that swimming lessons fit into your busy lifestyle.

Benefits of Enrolling in a Swim Academy or Swimming School
Investing in a swimming school is not only about learning to swim but also about gaining lifelong benefits. Here are some of the advantages of joining Swim Corps USA:

Improved Physical Health: Swimming is a low-impact, full-body workout that increases cardiovascular fitness, builds muscle strength, and improves flexibility.
Water Safety Skills: Learning how to swim is essential for personal safety. Our swim academy teaches critical water survival techniques that can be life-saving.
Confidence Building: Swimming is a great way to boost self-confidence. Whether you’re mastering new strokes or overcoming a fear of water, the skills you learn in our swimming school will translate into greater confidence in the pool and beyond.
Social and Fun: Swimming classes are a fun and social way to stay active. Whether you’re swimming with peers in a group class or taking private lessons, the experience fosters a positive and enjoyable atmosphere.
Lifelong Skills: Swimming is a skill that can be enjoyed throughout your life. From fitness to recreation, the ability to swim opens doors to a variety of enjoyable activities, from beach days to competitive swimming.
Start Your Journey at Swim Corps USA Today!
Ready to take the plunge? At Swim Corps USA, we’re here to help you achieve your swimming goals, whether you're starting from scratch or fine-tuning your technique. Our swim academy and swimming school offer a range of programs to suit every swimmer’s needs.

Don’t wait—join the Swim Corps USA community today! To schedule your lessons or to learn more about our programs, contact us at +1 (951) 219-9215 or visit us at 39716 Winchester Rd, Temecula, CA 92591. We look forward to helping you become a confident, skilled swimmer!

Trident Pressure Washing: Your Trusted Exterior Cleaning and House Cleaning Experts in Melbourne, VIC

At Trident Pressure Washing, we specialize in offering professional exterior cleaning near me and exterior house cleaning near me services to homes and businesses throughout Melbourne, VIC. The exterior of your property is constantly exposed to harsh elements such as dirt, algae, mold, and weather damage, which can cause it to lose its curb appeal and even deteriorate over time. With our expert exterior cleaning services, we can restore your property’s beauty and protect it from long-term damage.

What is Exterior Cleaning?
Exterior cleaning refers to the process of cleaning and maintaining the exterior surfaces of your property to remove dirt, grime, mold, algae, and other environmental buildup. From your roof to your driveway, regular cleaning helps prevent damage and maintain the aesthetic appeal of your home or business. Exterior cleaning near me can include a variety of services such as pressure washing, soft washing, and general cleaning for different surfaces, including walls, patios, decks, and driveways.

At Trident Pressure Washing, we use high-quality equipment and eco-friendly cleaning solutions to deliver excellent results. Our team has the expertise to handle all types of exterior surfaces, ensuring that your property is cleaned thoroughly without causing any damage.

Why Choose Exterior Cleaning Near Me?
Enhance Curb Appeal: Your home or business's exterior is the first thing people see. Regular exterior cleaning near me helps keep your property looking fresh, well-maintained, and inviting.

Prevent Long-Term Damage: Mold, algae, and dirt buildup can cause significant damage to your surfaces if left unchecked. Regular exterior cleaning helps prevent this damage, preserving the integrity of your property.

Increase Property Value: Clean and well-maintained exteriors increase the value of your property. Whether you're selling, renting, or just want to maintain your investment, exterior cleaning is a great way to boost its value.

Healthier Environment: Mold and algae buildup can lead to health issues, particularly for individuals with respiratory conditions. Regular cleaning removes these harmful substances, creating a safer and healthier environment.

Cost-Effective Maintenance: Regular exterior cleaning prevents the buildup of dirt and contaminants that can lead to costly repairs. By maintaining the cleanliness of your exterior, you can avoid expensive future repairs and replacements.

What is Exterior House Cleaning Near Me?
Exterior house cleaning near me is a service that focuses on cleaning the outside of your home, including the walls, windows, roof, and other surfaces. Over time, the exterior of your home can accumulate dirt, algae, mold, and other debris that affect its appearance and potentially cause damage. Whether it's your vinyl siding, wooden trim, or brick walls, exterior house cleaning is essential to keep your home looking its best and protect it from environmental damage.

At Trident Pressure Washing, we offer customized exterior house cleaning near me services that are designed to meet the specific needs of your home. We use both pressure washing and soft washing techniques to ensure the best results for every surface.

Why Choose Exterior House Cleaning Near Me?
Thorough and Safe Cleaning: Exterior house cleaning near me ensures that your home's exterior is cleaned thoroughly without causing any damage. Whether it's soft washing for delicate surfaces or high-pressure washing for tougher areas, we use the right techniques for each job.

Prevents Deterioration: Regular cleaning helps remove contaminants like mold and algae that can cause long-term deterioration, such as wood rot, stained paint, and weakened siding. Protect your home’s exterior with regular cleaning.

Improves the Appearance of Your Home: A clean exterior dramatically improves the look of your home, making it appear well-maintained and inviting. This is especially important if you're planning to sell or rent your property.

Saves You Time and Effort: Cleaning the exterior of your house can be a time-consuming task. Hiring professionals like Trident Pressure Washing allows you to save time while ensuring the job is done right.

Safe and Eco-Friendly Cleaning: We use biodegradable, non-toxic cleaning products that are safe for your family, pets, and the environment. You can trust our exterior house cleaning services to deliver results while being gentle on your property.

Our Exterior Cleaning and House Cleaning Services
At Trident Pressure Washing, we offer a variety of exterior cleaning near me and exterior house cleaning near me services that are tailored to meet the unique needs of your property:

Straight Pressure South Florida: Your Local Power Washing Company Offering Top Pressure Washing Deals in South Florida

At Straight Pressure South Florida, we take pride in being your trusted local power washing company. Located in Hialeah, FL, our team is dedicated to providing high-quality pressure washing services to both residential and commercial properties across South Florida. With our expert knowledge and state-of-the-art equipment, we offer a variety of services that can restore the beauty of your home or business. We also offer exclusive pressure washing deals South Florida to ensure you receive the best value for our top-notch services.

Local Power Washing Company: Serving South Florida with Excellence
As a locally owned and operated business, Straight Pressure South Florida understands the needs of our community and strives to deliver exceptional service at competitive rates. When you're looking for a local power washing company, we’re the team you can count on to get the job done right. Our services include everything from pressure washing your driveway and patio to cleaning your building exterior and roof. We use advanced power washing equipment that is both effective and safe for your property.

Being local means we're always available when you need us and can respond quickly to any cleaning request. Whether you're a homeowner, business owner, or property manager, we’re committed to providing you with the highest level of service and satisfaction.

Pressure Washing Deals South Florida: Affordable Cleaning Solutions
At Straight Pressure South Florida, we believe that keeping your property clean shouldn't break the bank. That’s why we offer exclusive pressure washing deals South Florida to ensure you get the best value for your money. Whether you need your driveway cleaned, your building's exterior washed, or your roof refreshed, we have special offers that make our premium services more affordable.

Our deals are designed to make it easy for you to take advantage of our expert pressure washing services without stretching your budget. Contact us today to learn more about our current promotions and book an appointment at a great price.

Straight Pressure South Florida: The Name You Can Trust
When you choose Straight Pressure South Florida, you’re choosing a company that values quality, reliability, and customer satisfaction. Our team is fully trained and experienced in all aspects of pressure washing. We take the time to understand your specific needs and tailor our services accordingly, ensuring the best possible results for every project. Whether you need residential, commercial, or industrial cleaning, we are here to provide a customized solution that suits your property.

Straight Pressure Pressure Washing: High-Quality Services for Every Need
At Straight Pressure South Florida, our Straight Pressure pressure washing service is one of the best in the business. We specialize in a wide range of pressure washing services, including:

House Washing: Restore the beauty of your home’s exterior, removing dirt, grime, and mildew.

Driveway Cleaning: Clean and restore your driveway by removing oil stains, dirt, and other contaminants.

Roof Cleaning: Protect your roof from mold, algae, and debris, enhancing its lifespan.

Deck and Patio Cleaning: Bring back the original look of your outdoor spaces with our expert cleaning services.

Our Straight Pressure pressure washing method ensures that all areas of your property are cleaned effectively, without causing any damage. We use eco-friendly cleaning solutions and state-of-the-art equipment to give your property the best care it deserves.

Why Choose Straight Pressure South Florida?
Local Expertise: As a local company, we understand the specific needs of South Florida homes and businesses, and we tailor our services to meet those needs.

Affordable Pricing: We offer pressure washing deals South Florida to ensure our customers get the best value.

Professional Service: Our team of skilled professionals uses the latest equipment and techniques to achieve the highest quality results.

Eco-Friendly: We use safe, eco-friendly cleaning products that are gentle on your property and the environment.

Contact Straight Pressure South Florida Today!
Ready to experience the best in pressure washing? Straight Pressure South Florida is here to help. Whether you're looking for a local power washing company or fantastic pressure washing deals South Florida, our team is ready to tackle your next project. Call us today at +1 (786) 631-2927 or visit us at 7874 NW 175th St, Hialeah, FL 33015, United States, to learn more about our services or schedule your next appointment.

Star Phone Fix: Reliable Water Damage Fix in Hialeah, FL

Accidentally dropped your phone in water? Don't panic! At Star Phone Fix, we specialize in water damage fix for all kinds of mobile devices, including iPhones, Samsung smartphones, and many others. We know how stressful it can be when your phone has been exposed to water, but with our expert repair services, you can get your device back in working order as quickly as possible.

Located at 405 W 29th St, Hialeah, FL 33012, we’re your local go-to for all kinds of phone repairs, especially water damage fixes. With our fast, reliable, and affordable services, you can trust us to handle your device with care and get it back to perfect working condition.

Why Choose Star Phone Fix for Your Water Damage Fix?
Water damage is a tricky problem for any device, but Star Phone Fix has the experience and tools to handle it with ease. Here’s why we’re the best choice when you need water damage fix:

1. Experienced Technicians
Our technicians are trained in diagnosing and repairing a wide range of water damage issues. Whether it’s a phone that has been submerged in water or one that has simply gotten a little wet, we know exactly what to do. From preventing further damage to restoring your device’s full functionality, our team is equipped to handle it all.

2. Quick and Efficient Repair
We understand that time is of the essence when it comes to water damage fix. The sooner you get your phone into our hands, the better the chance we have to restore it. That’s why we offer same-day repair for many water-damaged devices. We work fast to dry out and fix your device, so you can get back to using it as soon as possible.

3. Affordable Pricing
Dealing with water damage doesn’t have to be costly. Star Phone Fix offers affordable and competitive pricing for water damage fixes without compromising on quality. We’ll assess your device, provide an upfront quote, and make sure you know exactly what you’re paying for before any work is done.

4. High-Quality Replacement Parts
In the case that your device requires replacement parts due to water damage, we use only the highest quality components. From screens to internal components, we ensure that your phone gets the best possible repair, so it works just like new.

5. Customer Satisfaction Guarantee
Your satisfaction is our top priority at Star Phone Fix. We’re committed to delivering exceptional service, and if you’re not happy with the repair, we’ll do everything we can to make it right. With us, you’re not just a customer – you’re a priority.

What Happens During a Water Damage Fix?
When you bring your device to Star Phone Fix, we follow a proven process to ensure the best chance of restoring your phone:

Initial Assessment: The first step is to assess the extent of the water damage. We’ll look at the device’s external condition and carefully inspect the internal components to identify any affected parts. Early detection is key to preventing further damage.

Drying Process: We’ll disassemble the device, remove any excess water, and let the internal components dry properly. This crucial step helps prevent corrosion and other issues caused by prolonged exposure to water.

Cleaning and Repair: Once the device is dry, we clean the internal components to remove any moisture or contaminants that may have accumulated. If necessary, we replace any damaged parts, such as screens, batteries, or connectors, to restore full functionality.

Testing: After the repairs are made, we test the device thoroughly. We check for any remaining issues with the touch screen, camera, speaker, charging port, and other functions to ensure everything is working as it should.

Final Review: Once we’ve completed the repair and testing, we’ll call you to let you know your device is ready to pick up. We’re committed to delivering a fully functional phone that’s ready to go.

Devices We Fix for Water Damage
At Star Phone Fix, we handle water damage fixes for a variety of devices, including:

iPhones: From the iPhone 6 to the latest iPhone models, we have experience fixing water-damaged Apple devices.

Samsung Galaxy Phones: Whether it’s a Galaxy S series, Note, or any other model, we can repair water damage and restore your device.

Other Smartphones: We also provide water damage repairs for other brands such as Google Pixel, Motorola, LG, and more.

Tablets and Smartwatches: Water damage doesn’t just affect phones – we can also repair water-damaged tablets and smartwatches, including iPads and Android devices.

Why You Should Act Quickly for Water Damage Fix
If your phone has been exposed to water, acting quickly is essential. The longer your device remains wet, the greater the chances of irreversible damage to internal components. It’s important to power off your device immediately and avoid charging it until it has been properly inspected and dried.

On The Move Moving and Junk: Your Trusted Moving Experts in Mississauga, Toronto, Aurora, Barrie, Beaverton, and Markham
When it comes to moving, finding the best movers can make all the difference. Whether you’re relocating to a new home, office, or need junk removal services, On The Move Moving and Junk offers professional and reliable services in Mississauga, Toronto, Aurora, Barrie, Beaverton, and Markham. We are dedicated to providing seamless, efficient, and affordable moving solutions for every client.

With years of experience and a commitment to customer satisfaction, we are proud to be considered the best movers in Mississauga, Toronto, Aurora, Barrie, Beaverton, and Markham. Here's why you should choose On The Move Moving and Junk for your next move.

Why Choose On The Move Moving and Junk?
Best Movers in Mississauga: Are you looking for the best movers in Mississauga? Look no further! At On The Move Moving and Junk, we offer top-notch moving services tailored to your specific needs. From residential moves to office relocations, we provide fast, reliable, and affordable moving solutions to ensure a hassle-free experience.

Best Movers in Toronto: When it comes to moving in Toronto, our team of expert movers is here to help. Whether you are moving to a new condo, house, or apartment, we are the best movers in Toronto to handle all your moving needs. Our team is experienced in navigating Toronto's busy streets, ensuring your items are delivered safely and on time.

Best Movers in Aurora: Moving in Aurora? At On The Move Moving and Junk, we pride ourselves on being the best movers in Aurora. Our team is equipped to handle any type of move, from local to long-distance, residential to commercial. We take care of your belongings with the utmost care and attention, providing you with a smooth, efficient moving experience.

Best Movers in Barrie: If you're planning a move in Barrie, our expert movers are here to make your transition as seamless as possible. As the best movers in Barrie, we offer a full range of moving services, including packing, loading, and unloading. Whether you're moving within Barrie or to another city, we make sure everything is handled with care.

Best Movers in Beaverton: At On The Move Moving and Junk, we are proud to be the best movers in Beaverton. Our team offers professional and affordable moving services to homeowners and businesses alike. Whether you need help with a small local move or a larger commercial relocation, we’re here to help.

Best Movers in Markham: When you need the best movers in Markham, we are the go-to choice. Our moving services are designed to meet your needs, whether you’re relocating to a new apartment or moving your office across town. We ensure that your move is completed on time, on budget, and without any stress.

Our Moving Services
Residential Moves: Whether you’re moving to a new home, apartment, or condo, On The Move Moving and Junk offers comprehensive residential moving services. We take care of everything, from packing and disassembling furniture to safely transporting your belongings to your new home.

Commercial Moves: Our team also specializes in commercial relocations. Whether you’re moving an office, retail store, or warehouse, we offer best movers in Toronto and beyond to ensure that your business move is smooth and efficient, with minimal downtime.

Packing and Unpacking Services: Packing can be one of the most stressful parts of moving. Our team of professionals will carefully pack and unpack your items, making sure everything is securely transported and ready for use in your new location.

Junk Removal: In addition to our moving services, we also provide junk removal services for those who need to clear out unwanted items. We help you declutter before or after a move, ensuring your space is clean and organized.

Why On The Move Moving and Junk?
Experienced Team: As the best movers in Mississauga, Toronto, Aurora, Barrie, Beaverton, and Markham, our team is experienced and trained to handle any type of move with ease. We ensure that your belongings are carefully packed, transported, and unloaded safely.

Affordable Pricing: We offer competitive and transparent pricing with no hidden fees, ensuring that you receive the best value for your money. Whether you’re moving across town or to a different city, we provide affordable moving services without compromising on quality.

Comprehensive Moving Solutions: From residential moves to commercial relocations, we offer a wide range of moving services to meet your needs. We can also assist with packing, unpacking, and junk removal to ensure a stress-free experience.

Efficient and Reliable: We understand that time is valuable, so we make sure to stick to schedules and deadlines, ensuring that your move is completed quickly and without delays.

Top-Quality DTG Printing Near You at Bolt Print Shop in Jersey City

If you're looking for DTG printing near me, Bolt Print Shop in Jersey City, NJ, is your go-to destination for high-quality Direct-to-Garment (DTG) printing. Whether you’re an entrepreneur wanting to print your designs on apparel, an artist looking for vibrant prints, or someone who needs custom t-shirts for a special event, we offer cutting-edge DTG printing services that deliver outstanding results.

Why Choose Bolt Print Shop for DTG Printing?
At Bolt Print Shop, we specialize in DTG printing, a modern method that allows us to print high-resolution, full-color designs directly onto fabric. Here’s why our DTG printing services are the best choice for customers searching for “DTG printing near me” in Jersey City:

1. Exceptional Print Quality
DTG printing offers a level of detail and color vibrancy that traditional methods can’t match. Whether you're looking to print a complex image or a simple logo, our DTG technology ensures that your design will look crisp, vibrant, and professional on every piece of clothing. From intricate artwork to high-quality photographic images, DTG printing is perfect for bringing your vision to life.

2. Perfect for Small and Large Runs
One of the main benefits of DTG printing is that it is ideal for both small and large runs. Whether you need just a few shirts or a bulk order, our DTG services allow us to print on-demand without the need for large setup costs or minimum order quantities. It’s perfect for anyone looking for a cost-effective, fast solution for custom apparel.

3. Quick Turnaround Times
At Bolt Print Shop, we know that time is of the essence, which is why we offer fast turnaround times on all of our DTG printing orders. Whether you're getting a few t-shirts for an event or a bulk order for your business, we work efficiently to make sure your items are ready when you need them.

4. Local, Personalized Service
As a locally owned business based in Jersey City, NJ, we take pride in offering personalized, high-quality customer service. When you choose Bolt Print Shop, you are working with a team of experts who care about your project. We’re here to ensure that every order meets your exact specifications and exceeds your expectations.

5. Eco-Friendly and Sustainable
We care about the environment and strive to use eco-friendly inks and sustainable practices whenever possible. Our DTG printing uses water-based inks, which are a more environmentally friendly option compared to traditional printing methods. So not only do you get high-quality prints, but you can feel good about choosing a sustainable printing solution.

Our DTG Printing Services
We offer a variety of services to meet your specific DTG printing needs:

Custom Apparel: Whether it’s t-shirts, hoodies, sweatshirts, or more, we can print your unique designs on any type of garment.

One-Off Designs: DTG printing is perfect for one-of-a-kind items, whether it’s for a personalized gift, a special event, or a limited-edition product.

Bulk Orders: Need a large quantity of custom-printed apparel? Our DTG printing services can handle orders of all sizes without compromising on quality.

High-Resolution Artwork: Have complex designs or detailed images? DTG printing can handle high-resolution artwork, producing clean, sharp prints that look amazing.

Why Choose DTG Printing?
DTG printing offers several advantages, including:

Vibrant, full-color prints: Perfect for designs with multiple colors or gradients.

No setup fees: Ideal for smaller runs or one-off prints without the need for additional setup costs.

Soft Feel: Since the ink is directly applied to the fabric, the finished product feels soft and comfortable, with no heavy vinyl or plastic overlays.

Get Started with Your DTG Printing Project Today!
If you’re looking for DTG printing near me in Jersey City, Bolt Print Shop is here to help. We provide professional, high-quality, and affordable DTG printing services to meet all your custom printing needs. Whether you’re designing apparel for your business, creating custom gifts, or outfitting a team, we can help you bring your ideas to life.

Visit us at 7 Sherman Ave, Jersey City, NJ 07307, or give us a call at +1 (201) 402-0755 to get started with your DTG printing project today. Let Bolt Print Shop be your trusted partner for high-quality prints!

Southern Pro Wash & Seal: Enhance Your Property’s Curb Appeal with Professional Paver Sealing in Lakeland, FL

At Southern Pro Wash & Seal, we specialize in helping homeowners and businesses in Lakeland, FL improve the look and longevity of their outdoor spaces. One of the most effective ways to enhance the curb appeal of your property is through paver sealing. Paver sealing not only beautifies your surfaces but also protects them from the elements, ensuring they last longer and remain stunning for years to come.

In this article, we’ll share essential paver maintenance tips for Lakeland, FL homeowners and answer some frequently asked questions to help you make informed decisions about your paver care and sealing needs.

Improve Curb Appeal with Paver Sealing in Lakeland, FL
When it comes to improving curb appeal, paver sealing is one of the best investments you can make for your home or business. Whether you have a driveway, patio, pool deck, or walkway made of pavers, sealing these surfaces can make a world of difference. Here's why:

Protects Against the Elements: Lakeland, FL’s sunny, humid climate can take a toll on your pavers. Sealing them creates a protective barrier that prevents damage from UV rays, water, mold, mildew, and stains from oil or dirt.

Restores Color and Beauty: Over time, pavers can fade and lose their luster. Sealing your pavers brings back their natural color and provides a glossy or matte finish that makes your driveway or patio look like new again.

Prevents Weeds and Growth: Sealing your pavers helps prevent weeds, moss, and algae from growing between the joints. This not only keeps your pavers looking neat but also reduces maintenance over time.

Improves Durability: Paver sealing provides a layer of protection that helps your pavers withstand wear and tear, making them more durable and long-lasting.

If you want to boost the visual appeal and longevity of your outdoor surfaces, paver sealing in Lakeland, FL is the perfect solution. Southern Pro Wash & Seal offers expert sealing services tailored to the unique needs of each client, ensuring high-quality results every time.

Paver Maintenance Tips for Lakeland, FL Homeowners
Proper paver maintenance is key to extending the lifespan of your driveway, patio, or walkway. Whether you’ve recently had your pavers sealed or are preparing to, here are some essential paver maintenance tips for Lakeland, FL homeowners to keep your surfaces in great condition:

1. Regular Cleaning
Routine Cleaning: To maintain your pavers’ appearance, regularly remove dirt, leaves, and debris with a broom or blower. For deeper cleaning, use a pressure washer at a low setting to avoid damaging the pavers.
Stain Removal: If you notice oil or grease stains, use a specialized cleaner designed for pavers. Make sure to clean stains as soon as they appear to prevent them from setting.
2. Address Weeds and Moss
Weed Removal: Weeds can easily grow between paver joints, which not only looks unattractive but can also cause long-term damage. You can prevent weed growth by applying a weed killer or removing them manually.
Moss or Algae: If your pavers have developed moss or algae, gently scrub the area with a soft brush and use an algae remover if necessary. Consider using a sealant that provides added protection against growth.
3. Monitor for Settling or Shifting
Check for Shifting: Over time, pavers may shift or settle due to ground movement or heavy traffic. If you notice this happening, you may need to adjust the pavers and reapply sand to fill the joints. A professional contractor can assist with this if necessary.
4. Reapply Sealer Every Few Years
Sealer Maintenance: Depending on the climate and wear, pavers should be resealed every 1 to 3 years. This will help maintain their protection and appearance. If you notice your pavers looking dull or water no longer beads on the surface, it’s time to reseal them.
5. Ensure Proper Drainage
Drainage Considerations: Ensure that your pavers have proper drainage to avoid water pooling, which can cause long-term damage. If you notice pooling water, it may be necessary to adjust the grading of your pavers.
Following these paver maintenance tips will help keep your outdoor surfaces looking great and ensure that your investment in pavers lasts for years to come. If you’re unsure about performing maintenance tasks yourself or need assistance, Southern Pro Wash & Seal is here to help with professional cleaning, sealing, and repairs.

Varun Marbles-Kalinga Stone Dealer: Your Premier Stone Showroom for Black Granite Flooring in Gurgaon, Delhi, and Gurugram

When it comes to choosing the perfect materials for your flooring, countertops, or other surfaces, quality and durability are key factors. Varun Marbles-Kalinga Stone Dealer is your trusted stone supplier, offering a wide variety of high-quality materials such as black granite for flooring, Indian marble, Italian marble, quartz, and Varmora tiles in Gurgaon, Delhi, and Gurugram. Our showroom, located at Metro Pillar Number 6, Mehrauli-Gurgaon Rd, Arjan Garh, Haryana, showcases an extensive selection of stones that cater to both residential and commercial projects.

Why Choose Black Granite for Flooring?
Black granite is a luxurious and versatile option that can instantly enhance the look of any space. Its deep, rich color and sleek finish make it a popular choice for modern interiors and elegant exteriors. Here's why black granite for flooring is a great choice for your home or business:

Timeless Elegance: Black granite has a sophisticated, classic appeal that can complement any style of décor, from modern to traditional. Its deep color brings a touch of luxury to your floors, whether you're designing a high-end kitchen, living room, or office space.
Durability: Black granite is one of the hardest natural stones, making it extremely durable and resistant to wear and tear. It can withstand heavy foot traffic, making it ideal for high-traffic areas such as hallways, kitchens, and commercial spaces.
Low Maintenance: One of the standout features of black granite for flooring is its low maintenance requirements. It is resistant to stains, moisture, and scratches, making it easy to keep clean with minimal effort.
Heat and Scratch Resistance: Black granite is highly resistant to heat, which makes it a fantastic choice for kitchens and other spaces where hot items may come into contact with the floor. It also resists scratches, ensuring that your flooring maintains its pristine appearance over time.
Versatility: Whether you are designing a contemporary or traditional space, black granite flooring can complement a wide range of color schemes and design styles. The deep, polished finish of black granite creates a striking contrast with lighter walls and furnishings, adding depth and richness to any room.
Visit Our Stone Showroom Near Me
If you're searching for a stone showroom near me, look no further than Varun Marbles-Kalinga Stone Dealer. We offer an impressive selection of stones, including black granite, Indian marble, Italian marble, quartz, and Varmora tiles. Our showroom is conveniently located at Metro Pillar Number 6, Mehrauli-Gurgaon Rd, Arjan Garh, Haryana, serving customers throughout Gurgaon, Delhi, and Gurugram.

Why visit our showroom?

Wide Range of Stone Options: At Varun Marbles-Kalinga Stone Dealer, we pride ourselves on offering a wide variety of premium stones. Whether you need black granite for flooring, Indian marble, Italian marble, or quartz, we have something to suit every style and budget.
Expert Guidance: Our team of stone experts is here to help you choose the perfect material for your project. We offer professional advice on selecting the right stone, understanding the pros and cons of each type, and providing recommendations based on your specific needs.
Quality Products: We source our stones from reputable quarries, ensuring that you receive only the highest-quality products for your flooring, countertops, or other surfaces. Our stones are carefully inspected for quality and consistency.
Customization: Whether you're interested in custom cuts, finishes, or edge profiles, we can tailor our stones to suit your project. Our team will work closely with you to ensure that your black granite flooring or other stone surfaces are customized to your exact specifications.
Competitive Pricing: At Varun Marbles-Kalinga Stone Dealer, we offer competitive pricing on all our stone products. We believe that high-quality stones should be accessible to all, and we ensure that you get great value for your investment.
Benefits of Choosing Varun Marbles-Kalinga Stone Dealer
When it comes to purchasing black granite for flooring or any other stone products, Varun Marbles-Kalinga Stone Dealer is the go-to destination for homeowners, contractors, and designers in Gurgaon, Delhi, and Gurugram. Here are a few reasons why you should choose us:

High-Quality Stones: We specialize in a variety of stone materials, including black granite, Indian marble, Italian marble, quartz, and Varmora tiles. Our stones are sourced from trusted quarries and are guaranteed to meet the highest standards of quality and durability.

VynyLyst: Your Go-To Source for Vinyl Wraps and Vinyl Signage in Phoenix, AZ

At VynyLyst, we specialize in providing high-quality vinyl wraps and vinyl signage in Phoenix, AZ, that help businesses and individuals make a bold statement. Whether you're looking to transform your vehicle with eye-catching vinyl wraps or enhance your storefront with custom vinyl signage, we have the expertise and products to bring your vision to life.

Vinyl Wraps in Phoenix: Transform Your Vehicle with Custom Designs
A vinyl wrap is one of the most effective ways to turn your vehicle into a mobile advertisement. At VynyLyst, we offer custom vinyl wraps in Phoenix that allow you to showcase your business logo, message, or artwork in a way that’s both professional and attention-grabbing. Whether it’s a full vehicle wrap or a partial design, our wraps are made with high-quality vinyl materials designed to withstand the elements and keep your vehicle looking sharp for years.

Why choose vinyl wraps for your vehicle?

Cost-Effective Advertising: A vinyl wrap is a highly effective way to advertise your business while on the move. Your vehicle will become a 24/7 billboard, attracting attention wherever you go.
Durability: Our vinyl wraps are made with durable materials that resist fading, cracking, and peeling. They are designed to hold up to both hot Phoenix summers and the wear of daily driving.
Customization: From color schemes to logos and custom designs, we create wraps that perfectly match your brand’s identity, making your vehicle a powerful marketing tool.
Vinyl Signage in Phoenix, AZ: Enhance Your Business Presence
Whether you're looking for a new storefront sign, a directional sign for your office, or custom window graphics, vinyl signage is the perfect way to make a lasting impression. At VynyLyst, we specialize in creating high-quality vinyl signage in Phoenix, AZ that enhances your brand’s visibility both indoors and outdoors.

Vinyl signage is versatile, durable, and offers endless possibilities. Our team works closely with you to design custom signage that aligns with your business needs. Whether it's a clean and professional logo sign for your office or a bold and vibrant display for your store, we create custom signs that are sure to attract attention.

Benefits of Vinyl Signage:

Durability: Our vinyl signs are made to last, designed to resist fading, peeling, and weather damage, making them ideal for both indoor and outdoor use.
Flexibility: With vinyl signage, you can create everything from large banners to small, intricate details like lettering or logos. We provide fully customized solutions for all your signage needs.
Affordable and Professional: Vinyl signage is a cost-effective option that delivers a professional look without breaking the bank. It’s an ideal solution for businesses of all sizes, offering high-impact results at affordable prices.
Why Choose VynyLyst for Vinyl Wraps and Signage in Phoenix?
Expert Installation: At VynyLyst, we pride ourselves on providing flawless vinyl wraps and vinyl signage installations. Our experienced team ensures that each wrap and sign is applied with precision, leaving you with a professional, polished look.

Customization: We don’t believe in one-size-fits-all. Whether it’s a vinyl wrap for your vehicle or a custom vinyl sign for your business, we work with you to bring your unique vision to life.

Durability: We use only the highest quality materials, ensuring that your vinyl wraps and vinyl signage are built to last, even under harsh weather conditions.

Affordable Pricing: High-quality vinyl wraps and vinyl signage shouldn’t break the bank. At VynyLyst, we offer competitive pricing without compromising on quality, so you can enhance your brand presence affordably.

Local Expertise: As a locally owned business in Phoenix, we have a deep understanding of the needs and preferences of our community. We take pride in providing tailored solutions that help local businesses succeed and stand out.

Get in Touch with VynyLyst for Custom Vinyl Wraps and Signage
Are you ready to take your business’s branding to the next level with custom vinyl wraps or vinyl signage? VynyLyst is here to help! We are located at 7336 W Cordes Rd, Phoenix, AZ 85043, and proudly serve clients throughout the Phoenix area.

For more information or to schedule a consultation, call us today at +1 (602) 502-9437. Let’s work together to create high-quality, custom vinyl solutions that will make your business or vehicle stand out in style!

Gulf Coast Pro Wash, LLC: Enhanced Curb Appeal, Paver Cleaning, and Storefront Cleaning in Port Charlotte, FL

At Gulf Coast Pro Wash, LLC, we understand how important it is to maintain the beauty and cleanliness of your property. Whether you're a homeowner wanting to boost your home's curb appeal or a business owner looking to keep your storefront looking fresh, we offer professional cleaning services tailored to meet your needs. Serving Port Charlotte, FL, and surrounding areas, we specialize in services like enhanced curb appeal, paver cleaning, and storefront cleaning that will help elevate the appearance of your property and make a lasting first impression.

Enhanced Curb Appeal: Make Your Property Stand Out
Your home’s exterior is the first thing people notice, and enhanced curb appeal can make all the difference when it comes to creating a welcoming atmosphere. Whether you're planning to sell your home or simply want to enjoy a beautifully maintained property, increasing your curb appeal is one of the best ways to make a statement.

At Gulf Coast Pro Wash, LLC, we offer a variety of services designed to boost your property's curb appeal. From soft washing your house’s exterior and cleaning your driveway to paver cleaning and pressure washing your fence, our team can handle all of your exterior cleaning needs. Our expert team uses high-quality equipment and safe, eco-friendly cleaning solutions to make sure your property shines, increasing both its beauty and value.

Paver Cleaning: Restore the Beauty of Your Walkways and Patios
Pavers are a popular choice for driveways, patios, and walkways, thanks to their durability and aesthetic appeal. However, over time, dirt, grime, weeds, and algae can build up, causing your pavers to lose their luster. Paver cleaning is an essential service to maintain the appearance and functionality of your paver surfaces.

At Gulf Coast Pro Wash, LLC, we offer specialized paver cleaning services that remove dirt, mold, mildew, and other debris without damaging the paver surface. We use the appropriate pressure and cleaning techniques to safely restore the color and texture of your pavers, leaving them looking as good as new. Our professional cleaning not only improves the appearance of your patios, driveways, and walkways but also helps prevent future buildup, ensuring long-lasting beauty and durability.

Storefront Cleaning: Keep Your Business Looking Its Best
As a business owner, your storefront is the first thing potential customers see when they approach your store. A clean, well-maintained storefront is key to making a positive first impression and encouraging customers to walk in. Over time, dirt, grime, and other contaminants can accumulate on windows, doors, sidewalks, and walls, diminishing your business's curb appeal.

Storefront cleaning is a vital service to maintain the cleanliness and professionalism of your commercial property. At Gulf Coast Pro Wash, LLC, we offer expert storefront cleaning that includes cleaning windows, pressure washing the exterior, and removing dirt and debris from walkways. Our team uses safe, effective techniques to ensure your storefront shines, making it inviting for customers and giving your business a polished, professional look. Whether you run a restaurant, retail store, or office, we’ll help you make a lasting impression with a spotless storefront.

Why Choose Gulf Coast Pro Wash, LLC?
When you choose Gulf Coast Pro Wash, LLC for your enhanced curb appeal, paver cleaning, and storefront cleaning needs, you're choosing a team of experienced professionals who care about delivering exceptional results. Here’s why we’re the trusted choice for property owners in Port Charlotte, FL:

Experienced Technicians: Our team is highly trained in the latest cleaning techniques, ensuring safe and effective results for all surfaces.
State-of-the-Art Equipment: We use high-quality equipment and eco-friendly cleaning solutions to achieve the best results without harming the environment.
Affordable Pricing: We offer competitive pricing with transparent, no-hidden-fee estimates so you know exactly what to expect.
Customer Satisfaction Guaranteed: We are committed to providing outstanding service and ensuring that you are completely satisfied with the results.
Contact Gulf Coast Pro Wash, LLC Today!
If you want to enhance your curb appeal, restore the beauty of your pavers, or maintain a spotless storefront, Gulf Coast Pro Wash, LLC is here to help. We are proud to serve Port Charlotte, FL, and surrounding areas with professional cleaning services that will leave your property looking its best.

Call us today at +1 (941) 830-5630 to schedule an appointment or request a free estimate. Let us help you boost your property’s appearance with our expert cleaning services!

Petross Appliance Repair: Your Trusted Choice for Appliance Repair Near You in Brooklyn, NY

When your appliances break down, you need a reliable repair service that is close by and can respond quickly. Whether it’s your refrigerator, washing machine, dryer, oven, or freezer that’s on the fritz, Petross Appliance Repair is here to help. As a locally owned business in Brooklyn, NY, we pride ourselves on providing fast, professional, and affordable repair services for all your home appliances.

If you’re searching for appliance repair near me, you’ve come to the right place. We specialize in refrigerator repair near me, washing machine repair near me, dryer repair near me, oven repair near me, and freezer repair near me throughout Brooklyn and the surrounding areas.

Refrigerator Repair Near Me: Fast Solutions for Your Cooling Needs
A malfunctioning refrigerator can quickly lead to spoiled food and major inconvenience. If your fridge isn’t cooling, making strange noises, or leaking water, it’s time to call Petross Appliance Repair. We are the go-to experts for refrigerator repair near me in Brooklyn and can help you get your refrigerator back to working order quickly.

Our technicians are skilled in repairing all refrigerator brands and models. Whether it’s a simple temperature issue or a more complex problem like a faulty compressor, we’ll diagnose and repair your refrigerator with precision and speed. Don’t let a broken refrigerator cause unnecessary stress—contact Petross Appliance Repair for reliable refrigerator repair near me.

Washing Machine Repair Near Me: Efficient and Reliable Repairs
Your washing machine works hard to keep your clothes clean, and when it stops working, it can disrupt your whole routine. If your washing machine isn’t spinning, making loud noises, or leaking water, you need a professional repair service you can trust. Petross Appliance Repair provides top-notch washing machine repair near me throughout Brooklyn, ensuring your appliance is up and running as soon as possible.

We service all types of washing machines, from top-load to front-load, and repair a wide range of issues. Our skilled technicians use the best tools and parts to get your washing machine back in action. If you’re looking for washing machine repair near me, don’t hesitate to reach out to Petross Appliance Repair for fast and effective service.

Dryer Repair Near Me: Restore Your Dryer’s Efficiency
A broken dryer can leave you with damp clothes and no way to dry them, which can be a real hassle. If your dryer isn’t heating, making loud noises, or simply won’t start, Petross Appliance Repair is here to help. We specialize in dryer repair near me, providing efficient repairs for all dryer makes and models in Brooklyn and surrounding areas.

Our experienced technicians will quickly diagnose the issue, whether it’s a malfunctioning heating element, a clogged vent, or a faulty motor. We understand how important it is to have your dryer back in working order, and we work hard to provide fast, reliable service so you don’t have to wait. For expert dryer repair near me, contact Petross Appliance Repair today.

Oven Repair Near Me: Get Back to Cooking Quickly
When your oven breaks down, it can put a serious dent in your cooking routine. Whether it’s a gas or electric oven, problems like temperature inconsistencies or a non-functioning heating element can make meal preparation a challenge. If you’re searching for oven repair near me, look no further than Petross Appliance Repair.

We specialize in oven repair near me for all oven brands and models, ensuring your appliance is restored to its optimal condition. Our experienced technicians will carefully diagnose the issue and provide a reliable repair to get your oven cooking like new again. Don’t let a broken oven slow you down—contact Petross Appliance Repair for all your oven repair near me needs.

Boujee Mobile Pet Grooming: Miami's Leading Mobile Grooming Specialists

At Boujee Mobile Pet Grooming, we are proud to be the Miami mobile grooming specialists that pet owners trust for all their grooming needs. Our professional grooming services are designed to make your pet look and feel their best—right from the comfort of your home. Whether you’re looking for a quick wash or a complete grooming session, we bring top-tier grooming services directly to your door. Serving Hialeah and surrounding areas, we are the go-to mobile pet grooming near me solution in Miami, FL.

Why Choose Boujee Mobile Pet Grooming?
When you search for mobile pet grooming near me in Miami, you want a service that’s convenient, affordable, and, most importantly, safe for your beloved pets. Here’s why Boujee Mobile Pet Grooming stands out as the best choice for Miami pet owners:

1. Convenient and Stress-Free Mobile Grooming in Miami
One of the greatest benefits of choosing Miami mobile grooming specialists like us is the sheer convenience. No need to drive to a grooming salon, wait in line, or deal with your pet’s anxiety from traveling. With our mobile pet grooming near me service, we bring the grooming salon to your doorstep, making the entire experience stress-free for both you and your pet.

Save Time and Effort: We offer flexible scheduling options that work around your busy life, ensuring that your pet gets the care they need without you having to leave your home.
Comfort for Your Pet: Many pets experience stress at traditional grooming salons. Our mobile grooming service eliminates this issue, as your pet can stay in a familiar, calming environment.
Personalized Attention: In our mobile grooming van, your pet receives one-on-one attention, ensuring that they’re never rushed or distracted during their grooming session.
2. Professional Miami Mobile Grooming Specialists
As Miami mobile grooming specialists, we are committed to providing exceptional care for your pets. Our team is experienced in handling pets of all sizes and breeds, ensuring your dog, cat, or other furry companion is groomed to perfection. From bath time to nail trimming, here are some of the grooming services we offer:

Full Grooming Services: Including bathing, haircuts, and trimming to ensure your pet looks great and feels comfortable.
De-shedding: For pets that shed excessively, we offer de-shedding treatments that reduce shedding and make your pet's coat more manageable.
Nail Clipping: Regular nail trimming is essential for your pet’s health, and we make sure to trim their nails safely.
Ear Cleaning: We carefully clean your pet’s ears to prevent infections and ensure their overall well-being.
Facial Cleaning and Eye Care: Our groomers ensure your pet’s face and eyes are properly cleaned, minimizing irritation and promoting hygiene.
3. Safe and High-Quality Grooming Products
At Boujee Mobile Pet Grooming, we use only safe, pet-friendly grooming products to ensure that your pet’s skin and coat are treated with the utmost care. We understand that pets have sensitive skin, which is why we choose high-quality shampoos, conditioners, and tools designed to protect their health while giving them the best grooming experience possible.

Miami’s Most Trusted Mobile Grooming Near Me Service
As a trusted mobile pet grooming near me provider, Boujee Mobile Pet Grooming serves not just Miami, but also Hialeah and neighboring communities. Whether you need regular grooming services or an occasional touch-up, we are here to provide a reliable and high-quality grooming experience for your pets.

Why Trust Boujee Mobile Pet Grooming for Your Pets?
Experienced Groomers: Our groomers are highly trained and skilled in providing top-notch grooming services for all types of pets.
Stress-Free Experience: We make grooming a pleasant experience for your pet by offering a quiet, safe, and familiar environment.
Affordable and Convenient: With our flexible scheduling, affordable pricing, and professional grooming services, we offer the best value for your money.
Book Your Appointment Today
If you're searching for mobile pet grooming near me or need Miami mobile grooming specialists, Boujee Mobile Pet Grooming is here to help. We provide grooming services for dogs, cats, and other pets, ensuring they are pampered and well-cared for. Call us at +1 305-522-2013 to schedule your next grooming session and experience the convenience and quality that only Boujee Mobile Pet Grooming can offer.

FrigoMaster: Your Trusted Source for Industrial Congeladores and Vitrinas Pasteleras in Bucaramanga

When it comes to commercial refrigeration, having the right equipment can make all the difference for your business’s efficiency and product quality. At FrigoMaster, located at Cra. 10 #28-02, Comuna 4 Occidental, Bucaramanga, Santander, Colombia, we specialize in offering high-quality refrigeration solutions tailored to various industries. Whether you need a congelador vertical industrial, a congelador industrial vertical, a congelador horizontal pequeño, or elegant vitrinas pasteleras, FrigoMaster is the partner you can trust.

Congelador Vertical Industrial: Efficient Storage with Easy Access
A congelador vertical industrial is designed for businesses that require large freezing capacity but also want efficient use of space and easy product access. Unlike horizontal freezers, vertical industrial freezers allow for organized storage with multiple shelves and compartments, making inventory management simpler and faster.

At FrigoMaster, our congeladores verticales industriales are built to endure the demands of commercial environments such as supermarkets, food processing plants, and restaurants. These freezers provide powerful cooling systems to maintain consistent low temperatures, ensuring the quality and safety of your frozen products.

Congelador Industrial Vertical: Durable and Space-Saving
Similarly, the congelador industrial vertical is ideal for businesses that have limited floor space but still require large freezing capacity. Their upright design takes advantage of vertical space, making them a favorite in tight commercial kitchens or retail spaces.

Our industrial vertical freezers at FrigoMaster are manufactured with robust materials and feature energy-efficient compressors, ensuring your products stay frozen with minimal energy consumption. The doors are designed for easy opening and closing, reducing cold air loss and improving overall efficiency.

Congelador Horizontal Pequeño: Compact Yet Powerful
Not all businesses require large industrial freezers. For smaller operations or spaces where flexibility is essential, a congelador horizontal pequeño can be the perfect solution. These chest freezers offer excellent freezing capacity in a compact design, making them suitable for small stores, cafes, or specialty food shops.

FrigoMaster’s congeladores horizontales pequeños maintain optimal freezing temperatures while being easy to operate and clean. Their simple lid design provides wide access to stored items, making them a practical choice for businesses with smaller frozen inventory needs.

Vitrinas Pasteleras: Showcase Your Creations with Style
For bakeries, cafes, and pastry shops, presentation is just as important as freshness. Our vitrinas pasteleras at FrigoMaster combine refrigeration with elegant display features, allowing you to showcase your cakes, pastries, and desserts in an appealing and hygienic manner.

These refrigerated display cases come equipped with glass panels, LED lighting, and adjustable shelving to make your products look irresistible to customers. Not only do vitrinas pasteleras keep your baked goods fresh, but they also help increase sales by attracting customer attention and making selection easier.

Why Choose FrigoMaster?
FrigoMaster is a trusted refrigeration provider throughout Bucaramanga and Santander, known for:

Offering a wide selection of congeladores verticales industriales, congeladores industriales verticales, congeladores horizontales pequeños, and vitrinas pasteleras.

Providing products built with quality materials and the latest refrigeration technology.

Competitive pricing tailored to the needs of small and large businesses alike.

Exceptional customer service, from product selection to delivery and installation.

Expert advice to help you find the perfect refrigeration solution for your business.

Visit FrigoMaster Today
For reliable refrigeration solutions that keep your products fresh and your business efficient, visit FrigoMaster at Cra. 10 #28-02, Comuna 4 Occidental, Bucaramanga. Contact us at +57 322 849 5445 to learn more about our congeladores verticales industriales, congeladores industriales verticales, congeladores horizontales pequeños, and vitrinas pasteleras.

Let FrigoMaster help you enhance your business with refrigeration equipment that meets your specific needs and budget.

The Hearing Services: Your Trusted Partner for Hearing Aids and Ear Wax Removal in London

At The Hearing Services, we are dedicated to providing the highest quality care for all your hearing health needs. Whether you're experiencing hearing loss or simply need assistance with ear wax buildup, we offer comprehensive services to help you live life to the fullest. Located in the heart of London at 167, 169 Great Portland St, W1W 5PF, United Kingdom, we pride ourselves on offering compassionate and expert care to each and every patient.

Hearing Aids: Enhance Your Hearing and Improve Your Quality of Life
Hearing loss can affect individuals of all ages, and finding the right solution is key to maintaining a high quality of life. At The Hearing Services, we offer a range of advanced hearing aids tailored to your specific needs. Our professional audiologists are trained to assess your hearing and recommend the best device suited to your lifestyle and hearing requirements.

We work with a variety of leading brands in the hearing aid industry to ensure you have access to the latest and most effective technology. Whether you need a discreet in-ear model or a more powerful behind-the-ear device, we’ll help you find the perfect fit. Our hearing aids are designed not only to improve hearing but also to make everyday communication easier, whether at work, social gatherings, or at home.

Ear Wax Removal: Safe and Effective Treatment
One of the most common causes of hearing loss or discomfort is ear wax buildup. The Hearing Services offers professional ear wax removal services to ensure your ears remain clean, healthy, and free from blockages. Our experienced clinicians use safe, effective methods such as microsuction and irrigation to remove ear wax without causing damage to your ears.

Many people attempt to remove ear wax at home using cotton swabs or other methods, but this can often push the wax deeper into the ear canal, leading to further complications. At The Hearing Services, we provide a professional, thorough approach to ear wax removal to ensure your ears are properly cared for. We understand the importance of preserving your hearing, which is why our treatments are designed to be gentle, effective, and safe.

Why Choose The Hearing Services?
Expert Care: Our audiologists and clinicians are highly trained and experienced in providing hearing aids and ear wax removal services.

Personalized Solutions: We understand that every patient is different, which is why we offer customized recommendations based on your unique hearing needs.

State-of-the-Art Technology: We use the latest advancements in hearing aid technology and ear wax removal techniques to provide you with the best care.

Convenient Location: Our clinic is conveniently located at 167, 169 Great Portland St, London W1W 5PF, making it easy for you to access our services.

Friendly and Professional Service: At The Hearing Services, we treat every patient with respect, care, and attention, ensuring that you feel comfortable and supported throughout your journey to better hearing.

Contact Us Today!
If you're experiencing hearing issues or need ear wax removal, don’t wait any longer to get the professional help you need. Contact us today at +44 207 856 0319 to schedule a consultation or to learn more about our services. Let The Hearing Services help you achieve better hearing and improve your quality of life.

We look forward to helping you hear your best

McCarthy Power Washing Services: Top Roof Cleaning and Concrete Cleaning Services in Humble, TX

At McCarthy Power Washing Services, we specialize in providing high-quality roof cleaning service and concrete cleaning service to homeowners and businesses in Humble, TX, and the surrounding areas. Located at 18810 Summer Anne Drive, Humble, TX 77346, our goal is to restore the beauty and durability of your property’s exterior surfaces, ensuring they remain in excellent condition for years to come.

Why Choose McCarthy Power Washing Services?
With years of experience in the industry, McCarthy Power Washing Services is dedicated to delivering exceptional roof cleaning service and concrete cleaning service. We understand the importance of maintaining the cleanliness and integrity of your property, which is why we use the latest equipment and techniques to deliver outstanding results. Whether you need to clean your roof or restore the look of your concrete surfaces, our team is here to help.

Roof Cleaning Service:
Your roof is one of the most important parts of your property, protecting you from the elements and adding to your home's curb appeal. However, over time, roofs can accumulate dirt, algae, moss, and mold, which not only detract from the appearance of your home but can also cause long-term damage. Regular roof cleaning service is essential to maintain the integrity of your roof and prevent costly repairs.

At McCarthy Power Washing Services, we offer professional roof cleaning service to remove debris, algae, moss, and stains, including:

Algae and Moss Removal: Algae, moss, and lichen can grow on your roof, causing damage and leading to potential leaks. Our soft wash technique safely removes these contaminants without harming your roofing materials.
Stain Removal: We eliminate unsightly stains caused by dirt, leaves, and other debris, restoring the original beauty of your roof.
Protective Cleaning: Regular roof cleaning helps extend the lifespan of your roof by preventing damage and wear from built-up debris and organic growth.
Improved Curb Appeal: A clean roof can significantly enhance the overall appearance of your home or business, boosting curb appeal and property value.
We use a gentle soft wash method to ensure your roof is thoroughly cleaned without risking damage to the materials. Our cleaning solutions are safe and effective, providing lasting results while maintaining the integrity of your roof.

Concrete Cleaning Service:
Concrete surfaces around your property can quickly accumulate dirt, stains, oil spots, and other unsightly contaminants. From driveways and sidewalks to patios and pool decks, concrete cleaning service is essential to keep your hard surfaces looking fresh and well-maintained.

At McCarthy Power Washing Services, we offer comprehensive concrete cleaning service to remove stains and restore the appearance of your concrete surfaces, including:

Driveway Cleaning: We remove oil stains, dirt, and grime from your driveway, giving it a clean and polished look.
Sidewalk Cleaning: Our pressure cleaning removes dirt, algae, and moss from your walkways, ensuring they are safe and inviting.
Patio and Pool Deck Cleaning: We clean and restore outdoor living spaces, removing mold, mildew, and buildup to ensure your patios and pool decks are in excellent condition.
Garage Floor Cleaning: We can clean your garage floors, removing stains from oil, grease, and dirt, leaving them looking like new.
Our concrete cleaning service uses high-pressure washing equipment that effectively removes dirt and stains from concrete surfaces without causing any damage. We also adjust the pressure and cleaning solutions depending on the surface and condition of the concrete, ensuring optimal results every time.

Wild West Pressure Washing: Your Trusted Partner for Commercial Cleaning Solutions in Brevard County, FL

At Wild West Pressure Washing, we provide comprehensive cleaning services designed specifically for businesses across Brevard County, FL. From commercial paver cleaning and sealing to storefront soft washing, professional cleaning for office buildings, and industrial soft washing solutions, we are here to help businesses maintain a clean, inviting, and professional appearance. With a focus on quality and customer satisfaction, we are your go-to partner for all commercial exterior cleaning needs.

Commercial Paver Cleaning and Sealing: Protect Your Investment
Pavers enhance the aesthetic appeal and functionality of your commercial property, but over time, dirt, moss, and weathering can dull their appearance. Regular maintenance with commercial paver cleaning and sealing can restore the beauty and protect your investment, ensuring your property looks its best.

Why Choose Us for Paver Cleaning and Sealing?
Restoring Aesthetic Appeal
Our paver cleaning and sealing services remove grime, stains, and discoloration, bringing back the vibrant colors of your pavers. Clean pavers also enhance the overall curb appeal of your property, creating a more welcoming atmosphere for customers.

Preventing Damage
Sealing your pavers helps protect them from harsh weather, dirt, and oil stains, ensuring they remain in top condition for longer. It also helps prevent weed growth between pavers, making your outdoor spaces look cleaner and more polished.

Long-Lasting Results
Our sealing solutions are designed to withstand the Florida climate, offering long-lasting protection against the elements. A well-sealed surface will resist fading and degradation, helping you avoid costly repairs or replacements.

Increased Property Value
Clean, well-maintained pavers can increase the value of your commercial property. Whether you're leasing or selling, a well-maintained exterior can leave a lasting impression on potential tenants or buyers.

Storefront Soft Washing Experts: Enhance Your Business’s Curb Appeal
The exterior of your store is the first thing customers see when they visit your business. Over time, the buildup of dirt, mildew, and algae can make your storefront appear dingy and uninviting. Storefront soft washing experts at Wild West Pressure Washing use a gentle yet effective approach to clean your storefront without causing any damage to delicate surfaces.

Benefits of Storefront Soft Washing:
Gentle on Surfaces
Unlike traditional pressure washing, soft washing uses low-pressure water combined with eco-friendly cleaning solutions, making it safe for delicate surfaces such as windows, signs, and siding. This ensures that your storefront remains in pristine condition while being thoroughly cleaned.

Effective Dirt and Stain Removal
Soft washing effectively removes dirt, mold, mildew, algae, and other stubborn stains that can accumulate on your building’s exterior. Regular cleaning helps maintain a bright, welcoming appearance and prevents the buildup of unsightly grime.

Long-Term Protection
In addition to cleaning, our soft washing solutions also kill bacteria, mold, and algae, reducing the chances of future buildup. This means your storefront will stay cleaner for longer, providing more value for your investment.

Improved Customer Experience
A clean, well-maintained storefront makes a positive first impression on customers. It shows that you care about the appearance of your business and fosters trust and professionalism, which can encourage more foot traffic and potential sales.

Professional Cleaning for Office Buildings: A Clean Workspace for a Productive Environment
A clean office building is essential not only for the health and well-being of your employees but also for presenting a professional image to clients and visitors. At Wild West Pressure Washing, we specialize in professional cleaning for office buildings, providing comprehensive cleaning solutions for all exterior surfaces of your property.

Why Regular Office Building Cleaning Matters:
Maintains a Professional Image
The exterior of your office building is the first thing clients and visitors see. A dirty, poorly maintained building can give the wrong impression and reflect poorly on your business. Regular professional cleaning ensures your office remains polished and professional.

North Canton Prowash: Expert Exterior House Washing in Akron and Pressure Washing for Commercial Properties
At North Canton Prowash, we understand how important it is to maintain the cleanliness and appearance of your property. Whether you're in need of exterior house washing in Akron or pressure washing for commercial properties, our professional team is here to provide high-quality, affordable solutions that restore and protect your property’s exterior. Serving Akron, Canton, and surrounding areas, we are committed to delivering outstanding cleaning services for residential and commercial clients alike.

Why Choose North Canton Prowash?
When searching for exterior house washing in Akron or pressure washing for commercial properties, you want a service provider you can trust to get the job done right. At North Canton Prowash, we offer:

Experienced Technicians: Our team is trained and skilled in the latest pressure washing techniques, ensuring that we achieve superior results every time.
State-of-the-Art Equipment: We use advanced pressure washing and soft washing equipment that is designed to clean effectively while protecting the surfaces being cleaned.
Eco-Friendly Solutions: Our cleaning products are safe for your property and the environment, offering a gentle yet effective approach to cleaning.
Affordable and Transparent Pricing: We offer competitive rates, ensuring that our high-quality services are accessible and budget-friendly.
Our Specialized Services
Exterior House Washing Akron
Over time, your home’s exterior can accumulate dirt, mold, mildew, and algae, leading to an unsightly appearance. If you’re looking for exterior house washing in Akron, North Canton Prowash is the expert you can rely on. We use soft washing techniques to gently yet effectively clean your home’s exterior surfaces without causing damage. From siding and gutters to windows and decks, we ensure a spotless, fresh appearance.

Benefits of exterior house washing:

Removes dirt, stains, and organic growth such as mold and mildew.
Increases your home’s curb appeal and overall value.
Protects the surfaces of your home from long-term damage caused by contaminants.
Pressure Washing for Commercial Properties
For businesses, a clean exterior is essential to making a positive first impression and ensuring that your property remains safe and professional. North Canton Prowash offers expert pressure washing for commercial properties to remove dirt, grime, grease, and other buildup from a variety of surfaces, including storefronts, parking lots, sidewalks, and more. Whether you manage a retail store, office building, or industrial complex, our pressure washing services are designed to keep your property looking its best.

Advantages of pressure washing for commercial properties:

Enhances the visual appeal of your business, attracting more customers and clients.
Removes harmful contaminants that can degrade the surfaces and structure of your property.
Promotes a clean, professional image that reflects well on your business.
Why Regular Exterior House Washing and Pressure Washing for Commercial Properties Matter
Regular exterior house washing and pressure washing for commercial properties are crucial for maintaining the appearance and structural integrity of your property. By regularly removing dirt, grime, mold, and mildew, you prevent damage, enhance curb appeal, and protect your investment. A clean home or business sends a strong message to visitors, customers, and potential buyers, making it a vital part of property maintenance.

Contact North Canton Prowash Today!
For expert exterior house washing in Akron and reliable pressure washing for commercial properties, trust North Canton Prowash to provide the best cleaning solutions in the area. Our professional team is committed to delivering high-quality results that meet your needs and exceed your expectations.

Call us today at +1 (330) 957-2711 to schedule your free estimate. Let North Canton Prowash help you enhance the look and longevity of your property with our professional cleaning services!

Reliable Fence Cleaning Services by Western Mass Prowash LLC

When it comes to maintaining your property’s exterior, fence cleaning is often overlooked, but it plays an essential role in enhancing the curb appeal and longevity of your fence. If you're searching for a fence cleaning company in Wilbraham, MA, and the surrounding areas, Western Mass Prowash LLC is here to help. We offer top-notch fence cleaning services that restore the beauty and integrity of your fences, whether they’re made of wood, vinyl, or metal.

Why Fence Cleaning Matters
Over time, fences are exposed to the elements, which can cause dirt, mold, mildew, and algae to accumulate on their surfaces. This buildup not only makes your fence look dirty and unattractive, but it can also lead to deterioration if left unchecked. Fence cleaning is an essential part of home and property maintenance, ensuring that your fence looks great and remains in good condition for years to come.

Here are some reasons why regular fence cleaning is important:

Improves Curb Appeal: A clean fence enhances the overall appearance of your home or property, giving it a fresh, inviting look. Whether you're planning to sell or just want to enjoy a beautiful outdoor space, clean fences contribute to a positive first impression.

Prevents Damage: Algae, mold, and mildew can damage your fence material over time. Regular cleaning helps remove these harmful elements and prevents long-term damage, ultimately extending the lifespan of your fence.

Increases Safety: Mold and mildew can create a slippery surface on your fence, which may become hazardous, especially in wet weather. Cleaning your fence regularly can help prevent slips and falls.

Prepares for Staining or Sealing: If you're planning to stain or seal your fence, cleaning it beforehand is a crucial step. A clean surface ensures that the stain or sealant adheres properly, providing better protection for your fence.

Why Choose Western Mass Prowash LLC for Fence Cleaning?
When it comes to fence cleaning, it’s essential to choose a professional company with the right expertise and equipment to ensure a job well done. Western Mass Prowash LLC is a trusted fence cleaning company in Wilbraham, MA, known for delivering outstanding results. Here’s why homeowners and businesses trust us with their fence cleaning needs:

Experienced and Knowledgeable Team: Our team has years of experience in fence cleaning, and we understand the unique challenges that different fence materials pose. Whether your fence is made of wood, vinyl, or metal, we have the expertise to clean it effectively and safely.

Tailored Cleaning Techniques: Different fence materials require different cleaning approaches. We use a variety of techniques, including soft washing and pressure washing, to ensure that your fence is cleaned without causing any damage. Soft washing, in particular, is ideal for delicate surfaces like wood, preventing splintering and discoloration.

Eco-Friendly Solutions: We use biodegradable cleaning products that are safe for your family, pets, and the environment. You can trust us to clean your fence without leaving harmful chemicals behind that could damage your landscape or pose a risk to the environment.

Affordable and Transparent Pricing: At Western Mass Prowash LLC, we offer competitive rates for all of our services. We provide free estimates with no hidden fees, so you’ll know exactly what to expect before we start.

Customer-Focused Service: As a locally owned business, we take pride in delivering exceptional customer service. We work closely with our clients to understand their specific needs and ensure their satisfaction with every job.

Our Fence Cleaning Services
We offer a variety of fence cleaning services tailored to the needs of each client:

Wooden Fence Cleaning: Wood fences can easily accumulate dirt, algae, and mold. Our gentle soft washing techniques ensure that your wood fence is thoroughly cleaned without causing any damage or discoloration. We also remove any buildup that could cause wood rot and decay.

Vinyl Fence Cleaning: Vinyl fences are low-maintenance but can still gather dirt and grime. Our pressure washing methods remove stubborn stains and restore the clean, bright look of your vinyl fence.

Metal Fence Cleaning: Metal fences, such as aluminum or wrought iron, can develop rust and dirt buildup. We clean these surfaces effectively, ensuring they look polished and protected against corrosion.

Fence Staining and Sealing Prep: If you’re planning to stain or seal your fence, our cleaning services provide the perfect foundation for better absorption of stain or sealant, enhancing the protective qualities and appearance of your fence.