Only pure evil can design a PC case that has reset button same size and shape like USB port and place it next to USB ports.

Those LAN port splitter are getting out hand

Wife: You never listen to me!
Me: Have you tried port 8080?

I think I just broke the (only) USB C port on my MacBook so I’m racing to push about 30 git repos before the battery dies forever

Whoever designed the USB plug to fit perfectly in an Ethernet port: I hate you!

Whoever at Dell thought it would be a good idea to put the charging port next to the USB port is a genius

So my USB DVD drive needs more power than a normal USB port can deliver.
Normal Person: I'll bring it back to the store and get a diffrent one.

Me:

Since I already got all the stuff working for the devrant client on Arduino, why not port it in other platforms ?
So here it is DevRant 3DS client

My boss has a camera in the office for "security" reasons and I happen to be just right under it, exposing my computer screens to it. So I wrote a script that sends me an email whenever the camera port is accessed.

Aardwolf is very fun and i suggest y'all play it a bit if you're looking for better ways to slack off at work

$ telnet aardwolf.org 4000
*port 23 also works

Hi client,

I am not able to login to your prod server. Can you please verify the following:

Host: x.y.x.y
Port: 1234
Username: ABCD
Password: password1234

Thanks,
My idiotic coworker

Someone advised him that WP runs faster on Ruby.

Now, he wants me to port WordPress to RubyOnRails !!!

How to plug a USB in a USB port:

1. Try to insert it
2. If it doesn't go, rotate it 180 degrees
3. Of it doesn't go, rotate it back
4. There you go

So iPhone 8 to use USB C instead of Lightning port??

A big fuck you to iPhone7 users

"The customer reports that port 21 is closed on our FTP site. They said that port 443 is open, and wonder if they can use that instead."

"They are entering the wrong server name. Our FTP server is ONLY an FTP server. Port 443 is not open on our FTP server.

Please verify that they are entering `ftp.xxxxxx.com`

Our FTP site supports FTP/SSL if they are concerned about security."

"Customer responds that they would rather use port 443 to send files."

"I'm sure they would. I'd also like to enter our building on the west side when the temperature is below 10º, but there are no doors on the west side, so that's not going to happen, is it?"

I just saw the largest lan port kek

Can't ssh to my vps at work; hello new hobby project!
(server hosted on vps, http request -> shell -> http response)
Next up is supporting an interactive shell

If you ever feel useless, just remember that someone has to port Microsoft Edge to Android

Mind blown when I realised the Display Port “D” also contains a “P”.

Just realized. The only use of port 80 (providing it runs something like NginX/Apache) is (or, should be anyways) redirecting users from a non-secure connection to a secure one.

Poor port 80 😖

Misunderstanding is like running ftp server on port 80!
Ftp responses for http request!
In real life it happens like this

When you are too much into code. 😂💻

An ability to port all Windows games to Linux without performance loss due to bad ports and bad drivers so I won't have to dual boot anymore.

My roommate use torrent to download games,movies and series on an 8mb connection 24/7 even when he's sleeping. I a lot of times asked him nicely not to do that while I'm working or use speed limiter so it won't cause any problem for us, once in a while is okay but not every day. But people like him don't listen.
>Now i just disabled utorrent port associated with his IP every time he goes out or go to sleep. That what you get from being a self servings duche bag

On the train's public WiFi while traveling and want to use a VPN connection to one of my own VPN servers.

I'm now just realizing that the openvpn port is probably not an allowed one on this network and I set the port to the default openvpn one 😥

Fuck me sideways right now.

A roommate said he didnt have internet on his laptop. Wifi wasnt working for him and the cable doesnt fit because he has a new ethernet port and needs another cable for that.

I told him that there is no new ethernet port or new ethernet port standard, I would have heard about it.

But he insisted that it was true.

So I grabbed the ethernet cable, pulled the clamp on his ethernet port down (as most new laptops now have) and plugged the cable in.

Just tried washing my S8.

Works completely fine with speakers and camera, microphone, etc

During the process, it said that water was detected in the charging port, so I had to wait 10 minutes to charge until the port dries.

Overall, awesome!

P.S. How do they detect water???

Just found out that the generic router that our ISP gave us, which we use at work, has a port you can telnet into to get shell access with root privileges.

Who said programmers cannot solve hardware problems?

My router just said "Check hardware connection of your WAN port"

I took the cable out, blew in the socket and put it back in.

My internet is back in action.

Stepmom told me I take up the most bandwidth in the house because I have 3 monitors. ATT guy said the problem was I forwarded a Minecraft port on our router. Am I the only person who knows anything about routers?!

To IT: I can no longer clone GitHub repos from the command line.

From IT… Hello DevOps engineer…. You’re no longer allowed to use port 22. It’s not safe. All traffic must be port 443.

Really!?

Companies: We are commited to linux and it is truly the future!
Developers: Awesome! So are you going to port your most popular softw-
Companies: AI! Machine Leaning! Cloud computing! Streaming!

Port is already in use!

The power to port any game i want to linux, so i can finally ditch windows :D
#ShutUpAndTakeMySoulQB

*INCOMING CALL FROM MY NETWORK PROVIDER*

HI,

I'm calling from *my network provider* and I wanted to check if you would like to port to our network.

This happened 3 times in a day already. And now 4th time.

Me : Look man, I'm already on the same network and I don't need to port.

Guy : You should have told this to me in the beginning. You wasted my time in not doing that.

THIS CUM DRINKING PIECE OF SHIT PUNKASS BITCH MOTHERFUCKER COULDN'T DO A SIMPLE SEARCH ON HIS COMPUTER BEFORE GIVING ME A CALL AND THEN TELLS ME I WASTED HIS TIME.

Mission successful!

Yesterday I successfully replaced the charging port and headphone jack of my Oneplus 5

FeelsGoodMan

I felt very inspired when I first controlled a LED using QBasic and the LPT1 (printer) port, back in 1996. It just felt like "so much power"!

(Was more or less similar to the photo)

I managed to take down an entire school network with one VPN.

In short, I ran a personal VPN and eventually the System Administrators at my old school managed to pick it up as unknown traffic. For some reason, they managed to block the port but not the IP so I changed the port to 443 and their automatic system blocked port 443 on their entire network essentially rendering HTTPS useless for a few hours.

I never got approached about it but my school invested in a new IT team.

I accidently used the wrong language to code in... So I had to port my code over to the right one.

Dev(null networking knowledge): -"i've already deployed the web but it isn't up."

Boss(strong networking skills): Found port 80 blocked.
-Option A: open port 80.
-Option B: disable firewall.
Choose option B.

Me:😐(poker face)

inside incubator

port 22 - blocked
steam - blocked
Have to prove you are human, while visiting every other website
Sometimes captca doesnot stop after 3-4 images. Goes on to show you even more

meanwhile,
facebook - unblocked
instagram - unblocked
youporn - unblocked

I dropped my phone and the charger port broke, so now I can't use devRant that often until the replacement comes.

At least I still have devRantron and the web app.

Adylkuzz "saves" users from WannaCry

In fact, because Adylkuzz(malware that mine cryptocurrency) had infected many vulnerable machines long before WannaCry and shut down their SMB port, the malware might have accidentally saved many potential victims from having their data encrypted by WannaCry.

*Creates empty node web project in visual studio*

Let's have a look at the default configuration... Oh look the default port is 1337... Microsoft... Please stop trying to meme... Please

How motherfucking difficult can it be to port forward something internally?!

I've been on this for fucking hours and I'm so fucking done with this shit.

I know I'm doing something wrong myself but I can't find a good resource 😠

Iphone 7, with everything you already had minus a port,
➕ some extra dollars,
because it's Apple bitch.

I've spent three days trying to upload some code to my ESP8266 and it failed every time. Now I just plugged the Arduino at my Desktop and it works. Notebook USB port does not provide enough current I think.

Fuck all these "researchers" that port scan the shit out of my servers

First dev job: port Unix on Transputer, a (now defunct) bizarre processor with no stack, no registers and no compiler. That was fun! And that was in 1991 😎

I spent about 5 hours rewriting an in company C# toolbox because I thought it's connection to a Web API was broken. 5 FUCKING HOURS.

Only to then see I was using port 80 for HTTPS...

I hate corporate America devs that say “connect with you later today” like the fuck u think I am? A USB port?

Believe it or not I was once tasked to port a C program to COBOL. It wasn't fun.

i was graphic designer but couldn't find a reliable frontend dev to implement stuff for my clients. So i decided to learn. Then i found fun in js, later on angular. Then i found node.js and this was FUN! so im a backend dev for quite a while now :-)

So I just moved into a new apartment ... wait is the phone plugged to an ethernet port? ha didn't expect to have VoIP, so lucky

Okay, help :(

Trying to get my dns server in php to work from the outside (it's on a vm on one of my dedi's) but it's not working.

- Port forwarding works well: confirmed.
- Connection type: UDP; confirmed.
- I *can* dig from the host (dedicated server) to the vm.
- nmap scans show an open port.

The exact same happens on my local network.

I'm lost.

Customer:
Our site is hacked, and that is because the FTP port is open to the world!

Me: Well, it is a shared hosting platform, it has to be. You should instead update your 7 year old joomla! site.

*plugs the mouse in a different USB port.*

My Laptop: I've never seen this mouse my entire life.

Well that was a waste of my fucking time trying to port to the pixel 2 .-.

(Not a fucking hope would I ever be able to port something like that on my own tbh)

Who fucking leaves port 3306 open to the fucking internet? You're a medical practice too.

Look lighttpd just pass by and took port 80! Lol!

Putting SSH on another port and using fail2ban on the default one to ban everyone else trying to get in is a nice thing until you ban your own static ip by forgetting the new port...

Oh look MS-DOS on GitHub?!

Time to run through more code I don't understand and see what I can learn and potentially port :-D

Today the IT deparment update the firewall's configuration, they blocked almost every website except email and Google.
The problems:
- Blocked some systems outside the organization, there are in another building and also network
- I can search on Google but I can't see the results outside Google
- Forget about download depencies, libraries, deploy code to outside services, search at StackOverflow

I JUST WANNA SAY GOOD JOB, GUYS

PS: The firewall also block the SSH port, I had explained to my boss and he sent a request for allowing the port, so far no answer

That moment when you overamplifiy your speaker, the speaker can't handle it, and the negative side of the aux port gets way too much energy delivered.
Now whenever I put an aux cable into the phone, it restarts 3 times hahaha shit

Spent two hours debugging a port forward. Turns I entered 198.168.x.x instead of 192.168.x.x... Sometimes I barely bare with myself...

The war for port 80...

MAD scientist time! Can the USB type C port on Nvidia RTX tuning card used as a standard USB port? Eg charging your phone, or read USB flash drive🤔

Opened up my SSH port to the internet out of curiosity on a useless box.

Wow..... so, so many requests.

Friend: Do you have a cable you can spare, so that I can charge my phone?
Me: Unless you have a type-c (port), yes.
Friend: No, I have Samsung.
Me: 😂😂😂😂
Friend: 😅

just had a 3AM fucking brain blast

On the TI-8x line of calculators, you can do link port shit to essentially blit music to the barrel link port. However, the only library for this sounds like dick and is a superslow piece of shit.

I've just had a thought:
The library this dude wrote spaces the note out, waits for it to end and then resets the port.

If you're blitting music to the port rapid-fire, you don't need to reset it except either after the music or during rests. I can push a note with a waveform of 0hz to the link port to reset it, so...

The dude posted his source, so I could theoretically have it set the link port to whatever note and immediately return.

This would make the time between notes upwards of like 8x faster, bringing my sample rate from like 25 to 200 or so. That's almost fast enough for barely-recognizable voice synth! A little fiddling would be needed to get me the rest of the way there, but there's probably optimizations I can do to push the envelope some.

First year at university, prepared to set up multiple electronics.
rPi, arduino Ethernet shield, laptop, and desktop.
Brand new netgear switch to satisfy my internet surfing needs....

After setting up my devices, I realized none of them have internet. Hm. The feed port on my switch wasn't blinking either. So I tell the front desk, and a short 7 days later the port is back on. Yay, problem solved.

One morning I arise to see the port dark and inactive. Furious I use my laptop to share an internet connection while my actual port is "broken".

Support ticket is reopened and this time I get an email saying the port was disabled due to a security issue.

Me: what's the issue?
IT: there was more than two devices connected to the port

(OnLy TwO dEvIcEs PeR port???)

Me: oh okay I will only connect two.

The next day the port is disabled, again.

Me: can you tell me why it was disabled?
IT: a switch was detected being used, security error.
Me: how do I connect more than one device to the port without a switch???
IT: ...
IT: Please only connect one device.

🤔

Anybody's a father here? My 10 months kid is giving me hard times waking at 2am and not going to sleep till 4am (it is 4 now, here). That's a really repeating problem. I'm loosing my focus at work, tired after few hours of coding, couldnt mange to learn after hours. Makes me frustrated. My PM understands situation (actually he have 5 kids!), tries to help. But can't figure it out how to overcome this. Any ideas fellow dads in code? To make it clear - I really love my son, but if I'll fail to keep my level at job I could loose it one day, don't feel like beeing able to find new decent job with current exhaust level. Also I'm the only one who makes money in our lil family, loosing job for too long means loosing the roof under the head for all three of us. My wife is barely living after beeing there for son whole day, so please dont point at her. Our kid is really demanding on attention and love, and thats like a sweet poison. Love kills.

Every fucking port is fucking blocked on the fucking piece of shit fucking server. FUCK YOU

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Bad gateway on port five hundred two.

The sun is shining, wife is out of town, people are having fun at the beach, there's an outdoor party going on in my neighborhood and I'm full of power.

What a perfect day to port my private projects to TypeScript.

I feel like my legacy has begun. I hear people using a notation description that I think that I invented.

When one does port mapping in commands it is like this: 5432:5432. Nobody remembers which port comes first unless they the command a lot. I confidently referred to it as "reverse cotton eyed joe notation" in a meeting.

"Where do you go? Where do you come from Cotton eyed joe?"

Why do people want their webpages to be compatible with IE? Who cares? It is used by 1% to download a browser. Moreover, Edge is out. It's like writing a decent port or even a native game for Linux. Never pays off.

well it took a while till I finally figured out what was wrong with the USB stick

Wine compatibility < native port

That is all

I just had to explain to a web master and sys admin how ports work and how to access a router if they change the local port... God fucking help us

#Apple had just one non-proprietary port in their phones and they've removed it in #iPhone7.

Wonder how come they agreed to have USB-C in their latest notebooks.

Welcome to the expensive world of Apple.

My grandmother started dating soon after granddad's death.
Death of Grandpa: fuser -k 80/tcp
Announcement to all programs, port 80 is now free

Working with DigitalOcean boxes for so long has spoiled me.

I went to setup something on my home server today, and couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong for like 30 minutes...

Until I realized that I never forwarded port 80.

*sigh.

I setup an email server a couple of months ago.

The amount of port scans and brute force attacks I've received this month alone is awful.

JUST SOD OFF ALREADY, PLEASE.

Don't know, I just don't trust who runs their frontend in a port other than 8080

Now I will defend USB-C untill my face turns blue and my mouth turns into a thunderbolt 3 port but fuck me some people complain about the stupidest shit when it comes to adapters...

Saw someone on twitter complaining because to get an ethernet port on his MBP... Only to notice he had purchased a USB-C to USB-A just so he can plug in a USB-A to ethernet...

Now maybe I'm thinking too logical but if you wanted an ethernet port, surely you would buy a USB-C to ethernet port and not seperate things to do the same job and then complain about it?

I can justify complaining about USB-C to auxiliary to some extent but for fuck sake I swear some people just get off on complaining about self inflicted issues -,-

Hey, DBA guy! Security blocked this one port for the database. Can you change the database to a different port?
Me: No, I actually like working here.

After months of googling and troubleshooting my router settings trying to figure out why my port forwarding settings are not working only to realize that I'M BEING CGNATTED TO OBLIVION BY MY FUCKING ISP WITHOUT A FUCKING NOTICE!

y.

How motherfucking difficult can it be to port forward something internally?!

Don't you love transferring server hosts and paying for a dedicated IP only to get given an IP that is already in use and forward it using the incorrect port .-.

*Deep breathing*

i remember how my father was angry at me, that i "only play games" on the computer. Cause what else can you do there? We had multiple wars about how much nobody will i be. Well I wasn't playing I was learning. Now i have my own family, got many life goals done. i dont consider me as nobody but my father still thinks of me as a young boy, at least he's sometimes proud. Sorry guys gad to lay it off. :-)

I had two teachers in school, who even after finishing the class, continued to program with interested students. For example programming a robot or communicating over the serial port of a computer using Java.

Client wants my code working on port 80, but they have a Apache web server running.

I think they need to "defrag" the port

I just got pissed off when someone on my team asked me how to start a web server on port 8080 (needed for network port testing)

I check the port get 404. 🤔🤔🤔

Spend half an hour explaining to them about ports and how there's already a week server running... And that 404 is a HTTP Status code.

I'm pretty sure she works on our webapp and maybe even REST APIs...

New grad but still.... Not recognizing a 404?

Maybe those pretty 404 pages these days make the realizing that it's a fucking web server error response harder....

My colleague and I have been trying to setup a VPN server for devs who wanted to work from home. We asked our sysadmin (who's in another office in another country) to try connecting to the server. She replied after a while that she was unable to connect. We then asked her what port she tried connecting on and she replied, "No, I didn't use any port. I am connecting directly using the hostname".

I've had a phone's charging port melt on me, a charger just give up and barely give any current, and now my charger overheated and almost caught on fire and my room smells like burnt plastic... I have great luck with charging phones

Forget about a missing semicolon. I was forwarding Neo4j to port 4747 and calling it in Asp.Net with port 7474 in Docker containers. It took me 6 hours to figure that one out. Lol, It's time for the weekend.

Fuck graphics cards for only providing 1 hdmi port and then 200 displayport connections. Like every of my monitors have one. Smh

This evening for curiosity i executed a nmap over my android phone expecting (like everyday) all port closed.
But i see
9080/tcp open glrpc
Wtf??
Let me check something....
--adb shell
$cat /etc/net/tcp

And the first line provied me the UID of the app that was running on 9080 port (2378 in hex)
So let me check which app is that
$dumpsys package | grep -A1 "userId=*UID*"

And the answer is com.netflix.mediaclient

Wtf??
Why netflix is running a http server on 9080/tcp on and android phone??

Does changing default SSH port really make server more secure? Most of scan apps (eg. Nmap) will find it anyway, won't they?

Finished writing a microservice in NodeJS. Wrote tests, had clever optimisations, did profiling, the works. Lead dev says to me on a Friday evening to port my code to Java in 2 days. (Reason: to standardize everything) #FML

Corporate IT blocks all network traffic, whitelists port 80 and 443 😡

... cos port number is the best predictor of security threats, amirite? 😒

Yesterday I found a Fridge on Amazin which you plug into your USB Port. I really liked the product so I told my friend about it. Unfortunately she doesnt know shit about tech😂. First I had to explain what a fucking USB Port is!!! A USB Port!After an hour of explaining she thought that the fridge is for cooling a USB Port. FML😂😂

I love one particular old game. It's called Port Royale (the first one). Why? Because the game crashes a lot. Players know that, devs knew that. It's so old and unknown to people who haven't played that devs don't even fix it. But, but... why do you write it here?

This game tought me autosaving! Yeah, they have autosaving in [5, 10, 15] minute intervals, but the game is so fast, that even a little change you do will cripple your whole economy. Not to mention the saving mechanism is partially broken (or that's what the log says, fml). By broken I mean it tries to autosave, but sometimes it crashes the whole thing, just because it can. A game with special effects - crashing in _intervals_!

Because of this lovely game I have a habit of saving and staging (or even commiting). Maybe they should be proud for making such a bug. Saved me once again a minute ago when I managed to crash Emacs with Python. :D

The fastest way to a woman’s heart is through her serial port. 😁😁😁

That's it. From now on I won't pay a penny for the game if it has no Linux port. No exceptions.

FUCK YOU VISUAL STUDIO! Fucking IIS site already running when restarting, reinstalling, checking port is open, checking past processes on that port, STILL NOTHING MOTHERFUCKER. Fuck I hate IIS.

Boss: We should port our internal finite element analysis software to an app. We could use phonegap!

Me: Sure... We'll look into that.
My mind: Nope. No. Never. Dear God. Why. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts...

Why would a modern laptop come with a VGA port when it also has an HDMI port? I've managed to get by without VGA for years, with better image quality too. What is the reason for this? Is VGA still so prevalent that you need a backup port just in case the projector you want to use is old school? Don't they make adapters for that?

I know this is inane, but it's literally putting me off a purchase

Yesterday i realised the importance of documenting everything step by step . I was told to port an driver/application that we made for linux 4.1 to a 4.9 kernel . Eventhough i did already port another similar application to the same , didnt remember what are things that i did.. Thank God ..If not for the constant pestering of my colleagues to document each step.. I would have been stuck in that island for 2 more days ..

So, I just setup a honeypot on my freshly installed Mint Laptop.

So many SSH connections, it's absolutely unbelievable. Can someone recommend me a good honeypot? I have only the SSH port monitored at the moment.

I think I've reached peak boredom, can't work on my main project so I'm sitting here going through nano's C source code and planning to port it into C#...

Send help pls....

How bad is it for a fortune 500 company to open port 22 over the internet for all its linux servers?? Today, I reported this to my boss and he said "it won't be a problem, no one can login without a password".

A creative way to get yourself locked out from your server: having your new password manager hit an old entry port for a favicon - which gets you banned, took me a second to understand why I can't suddenly access things anymore lol

Today,
I tried setting up XAMPP for running my friends code.. it took 5hrs and faced atleast one issue in every step from installation to running.

First
1) XAMPP Did not download itself, found that internet was down.

2) downloaded finally, installation phase went till 98% fatal error, windows collecting info for diagnosis

5)after 3 tries , suddenly it installed successfully

6)Apache force shut, every time I started it

7)1.5 hours later found VM had occupied the port 80, making it shut.
Changed the port

8)PHPmyadmin was recent ,that SQL 5.1 support was not There.

9)Now after setting up new instance of MySql 5.6 , created conflict.
Project referred one instance and PHPmyadmin referred other

10) Changed port numbers and added service entry in windows to make it work

At last the struggle ended up with happy ending.

My installation story precisely

Iam new to PHP development and XAMPP.

*sits at work*

Other dev has a problem, Visual Studio keeps crashing etc.

*Senior dev comes over*
asks what she's struggling with.

she explains it to him, saying it's possibly a port problem.

senior dev goes "ah, yeah that's just gonna take a second"

*senior dev sits down and rolls a new port with two actual dice*

I fucking died.

interview from the other side. A month ago I was looking for frontend dev for team I lead.
Now I believe that it was a nightmare for one guy, whos bio was full of js, angular and a little of php. Thought that he will be the man we were looking for.
Nope. I've started with classic (I suppouse) questions, like call and apply difference. Guy couldn't even manage to say a word. Went to bubbling, nothing. Ok sth easier, hoisting... Maybe at least you're minifying your code? donno what is. Ok so what you actually did from js? "I know jQuery, did something in this, and did full angular app to build forms, store and send them", but after question what Factory is he covered his face in hands, went still for about three minutes and probably would start to cry but we stopped this. I feel sorry for this guy, but he applied for senior frontend position.

!rant

That level of satisfaction when you successfully port a Python2 Project to Python3 and implement proper backward-compatibility - without 2to3!

Made a new color scheme, and I really love using it for syntax highlighting.

Now I need to fucking port it to every single editor & terminal...

we just created a new web dev team (3 months) and boss came to us, looked what frontend guy has done already (one guy who joined us month ago) and said "this is not how i imagined our platform. It should be working next month". Well how about providing anything to let us know what do you want? Well Im fighting now to get some brief at least ;)

sometimes explaining 'this' in js to an intern is like magic card trick. 'is THIS your card?' nope.

Port forwarding works well: confirmed.

Yeah... that felt awesome.

How the fuck do you do port forwarding on your Rasberry Pi without having to hack the NASA or subscribe to some obscure websites??? God fucking damn useless websites that can't agree on a fucking point

Never noticed this before, but it fills me with pure joy that I can homebrew another USB port onto my shit.

I want to access a webpage on a non-standard port.
On desktop, I can override port bans for Chromium-based browsers and Firefox.
On Android, I FUCKING CAN'T, FIREFOX' CONFIG VALUE USED ON DESKTOP DOESN'T DO ANYTHING ON ANDROID, ANY OTHER BROWSER ALSO DOESN'T HAVE ANY CONFIG FOR THIS, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Site's on port 21 because that's one of my school firewall's few allowed outbound ports, and I couldn't use 80/443 since a webpage is already running there.

Port Visual Studio to Linux and add support for all languages. Why? Because it's fucking awesome!

Spending hours trying to figure out why the stack just won't work with SSL. Nearly lost my mind as we started feeling dumber than ever. I really started to doubt my skills after it did not even work with the most minimal nginx site config I could imagine.
The next day I discovered that we missed the 443 port mapping in the docker-compose file...it only had port 80 mapped.

Yup, stepping back from a problem and getting some sleep is really worth it sometimes.

My production app still says "Hello World listening on port 3000!"

Life goals:
1. Port Linux to Brainfuck.
2. Make a some how object oriented Brainfuck fork.
3. Make IDE for #2, with completely random auto completion.

How to spend more time writing docs then code?
15m = doc
1m = code

<code>
/* Motor DC + Mosfet IRF520 + Servo
Materials:
IRF520 (Mosfet) + Dc motor + Batery (3V min)
diode (1N4007?)
Changed Tip122 for IRF520: Tip122 has less resistance and produces more heat

Hardware:
ARDUINO = A(port , 5V , GND)
MOSFET = M(A[port] , + , GND)
MOTOR = MOTOR(+ , -)
BATERIA = BAT(+ , -)
DIODO = D(sinal_1 , sinal_2)

MOSFET
M(port) = A(port)
M(+) = D(sinal_1) AND MOTOR(+)
M(GND) = A(GND)

D(sinal_2) = B(+) AND MOTOR(-)

ARDUINO
A(port) = M(port)
5V = null
A(GND) = M(GND) AND BAT(-)

*/

#define motorPIN 8 // A(port)
int loopy = 0; // Loop variable to limit de program

void setup()
{
// Initialize the motor pin as an output:
pinMode(motorPIN, OUTPUT);

}

void loop() // 1 loop == 100ms
{
if (loopy < 10) // Turns motor ON for 1 second
{
digitalWrite(motorPIN, HIGH);
}
else // Turns motor OFF
{
digitalWrite(motorPIN, LOW);
}
}

</code>

Hi everyone! (Specially pentesting masters!)
I got a question:
We all know the Nmap's abillity for detecting os using 1 open and 1 closed port,
Is there any way or method to detect os without any closed port ?(open ports exist)

Thanks alot 😃

New MacBook Pro: one type of connection port, no MagSafe, base drive is 256gb, and they killed off the goddamn physical esc key.

Apple you dumb.

someone made a port of the old 'nu pogody' game for the F0, it's not 1-1 but still like it... till that points no difficulty rise, will see later, or if I find the source will just modify it =]

Just installed Ubuntu on my school's MacBook for a Ubuntu Touch Port!

User: My printed doesn't.

My diagnostic: USB cable is connected to ethernet port

So I suck at scripts, windows scripts namely. I need a script to monitor a program on machine and send an email if it goes down. There are eight instances running on the machine and they can be determined to be working if a specific port is open, one port per instance. I have no clue where to start and I thought it could be done with some existing service or script. Suggestions?

Re-Factoring old code and i find this beauty

$('.modal [name="port"]').attr('name')

FOR FUCK'S SAKE

My verdict on display ports? From 1 to 10 10 being horrible as fuck I'd say it's about the same amount of times my fucking monitor went black and I almost had a siezure.

This may have nothing to do with programming but honestly, it fucking sucks. I've read so much online about how DP is better but no. I've never had a problem with HDMI, but HERE COMES ALONG THE MAGICAL DP. I was playing a FPS game and my left monitor went black over and over and I almost had a siezure. So I umplug the DP cable and my game fucking switches to my right monitor which is portrait mode, AND IT WASN'T EVEN SIDEWAYS GAMING... IT WAS PORTRAIT ON ONE FUCKING MONITOR... PORTRAIT.

I HAD TO PLAY THE REST OF THE GAME LIKE THAT. IN PORTRAIT MODE. THE DOOR FRAMES IN THE GAME WERE SO SKINNY IT LOOKED LIKE PAPER COULDN'T FIT THROUGH IT.

Here's something I'm sick of seeing: server software documentation that doesn't fully list what ports they are using. Too often I've read things like this: "AcmeServe uses ports 400, 8001, and 8002". Great, but why are you making me guess if those are TCP or UDP?

And sometimes it's: "AcmeServe uses ports 400 (UDP), 8001 (TCP), and 8002 (TCP)". Soooo, which ones do I port forward? Are you really going to make me have to use netstat -a to find out?

I can't understand the mentality behind that. They obviously realise you need to setup firewalls, but they half-arse it by only telling you the port numbers but not the protocol and/or if they're inbound/outbound.

Please, list what protocol the port is and if it's listening or outbound. Oh, and consider also mentioning where the port numbers come from in your config files, so I don't have to go playing a guessing game with a bunch of XML files should someone have overridden the default port numbers.

I get really fucking mad, when people show termux and boast about "aai yuse leenox"

Use the real god damn GNU/Linux. If it is not available for your device then PORT IT! Like i did..

Fuck off apache and ur fckinn 10 thousand different goddamn ports in use i can not start my python server bcz hhhhh too many processes use the main port and i need the main port to run the website

Tired of ur shit apache2

So my MCU teacher said I should use a long ass ternary to determine which pins should be set high for a given number on a seven segment display. Cause the display was on a single 8-bit port on the mcu I decided to generate a bitmask with a switch statement and set the port directly.

is it flamewar week? shouldn't we wait till this weeks end?

!rant

I asked for Razer blade 15 base model for work purpose, considering about Ethernet port and all... Then my boss ordered 2TB option. Should I have asked for advanced model from the start? 😕

> be me
> "let's have a look to my previous PHP projects"
> fire up xampp
> services up and running
> enters localhost:1111
> ERR_SERVER_NOT_FOUND
> bullshit, I know that port number is right
> tried all other solutions
> finally saw the config just to find out the port is 1337
> well fuck me in the ass
> pic related

lambda lambda lambda!

So I was tasked with porting a bunch of code to a new set of libraries a few years ago. I didn't have a whole lot of experience with the framework at the time. I just fixed issues with what I thought should be in there. I mean it compiles right?

Fast forward 4 years:
Coworker: Uh, Demo, this printing code doesn't work. A customer is complaining.
Me: I didn't work on that.
Coworker: Yes, you did...
Me: Oh, yeah, I remember that. I just guessed. I didn't know what I was doing back then. It looks like I am not waiting for the printer. I will put a lambda in there to notify when the printer is ready. Then another lambda inside of that to delete objects when that is done. Hey! I put a lambda inside lambda!
Coworker: Thanks, it works now.

Talking to my boss later. I had just explained how I fixed the issue:
Me: I put a lambda inside a lambda! Wait, I have a new goal. Putting a lambda inside a lambda inside a lambda!
Boss: Uh, I am not sure that is a "good" goal...

google has crammed so many things in Gmail that,

I think they will port an entire OS in the future.

G-OS

Ngl, I'd probably become one of those guys that tries to port DOOM onto things, or maybe maintain some old repos. Maybe fuck around and actually write a unit test idk

Just sitting around waiting for a 220GB Database to import, if I had a spare PCI-E port I could have used a 240GB NVMe PCIe SSD but now I have to use an old Seagate 500gb HHD. Gonna be a while.

Since my ISP doesn't allow port forwards on that port, does anyone want to open their port 445 (if not otherwise occupied by Microsoft-DS) and have netcat reply an empty string or so any request (such as an empty string) sent over TCP (or has anyone already done so)? It would help me out a lot with testing out some networks full port range (since portquiz.net's hoster blocks that port) and would take close to no bandwidth for you.

I just setup a new VPS
I made all configuration required
I reboot the server

I forgot which port I set for ssh 😭

Luckily I have console to access from 😅

Localhost cloud in port 404 (C4)
Rogue like puzzle game (CF)
Piano tiles like runner game (CD)
Emotional Simulator (C7)
Pastebin client (PFW)

Updates in comments as i remember.

Professor to the whole class: Apache tomcat runs on port 80 which is the same port used by skype
Me: (change the port of tomcat to something else, obviously)
Professor: Kill Skype
Me: 😐😐

Why do people think Perl's outdated?
Until Python/Ruby get a port of Keyword::Declare Perl's niche stays unquestioned.

An app to find port-a-potties (or port-a-potty’s?) near you... more of a joke tbh but I did consider it for a second.

Why does Norway have barcodes on their battleships? So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian.

At this rate, the upcoming iPhones won't have a charging port and you've got to buy a new one once the battery dies.

I just love customers:
Customer: "ftps doesnt work! It says Port blocked you are using the wrong port! Fix this now!"
Me: "did you open the port and allow it through the firewall?"
C: " yeah ofc i opened the ports on the server! Do you think i'm stupid?"
M: "On the client too?"
C: "...."
C: " let me call back in 30min"

How to screw with other developers?

Expose postgres at Port 5435.

I spent 15 mins trying to figure out why my dev machine doesn't connect to the RDS instance.

F**k this. Exactly The same site is displaying differently. Only thing changed? On left access is by local IP, on right by URL using no-ip.

Apparently it grabs CSS from project on another port

OpenCV is like an USB port: You never have the right input format and it only works after converting the damn thing multiple times!

It took me an entire hour to figure out why my https gave me a Connection Refused error in my browser. Apparently I had configured port 433 to be published instead of 443, another hour wasted.

How to make a sys explode
1. Ask to configure an e-mail
2. Ask the pop and imap port

Really....u serious ?

In computing class, we were asked to identify different connectors/ports in one lesson.
Someone couldn't tell what a USB port looked like >.>

my co-worker (data entry) doesn't know what an hdmi looks like... so she's brining in her laptop tomorrow for me to tell her which port is hdmi so she can hook it up to her tv at home

She's only in like her 40's so that seems kinda weird to me she doesn't know what an hdmi looks like I showed her the hdmi on my computer and she thought it was the 'jump drive' port

Not really hacking, but every time I work from home(a couple times a week), in lieu of using my company's VPN, I connect to the company network with an SSH reverse tunnel. To make this possible, I wrote a port knocker that runs in a tmux session on a server inside the network. It tries to connect to a high-numbered port on my home machine, and if successful it opens the reverse tunnel. At home, I manually run a script that opens that port and informs me when the reverse tunnel is established.

Then I open an SSH socks5 proxy and use that in my Firefox dev edition, which I use entirely for work.

This is actually much easier than using the actual VPN.

Finally set up my home server and port forwarded it so I can use linux everywhere even as a window pleb.

Now just to make a solution for not having a static IP address...

Talking to a vendor in China to source some hardware modules. The engineers don't speak any English, and the sales rep doesn't know a serial port from a monkey's ass. Shortest game of Chinese whispers 😥

Swagger superposition: the generated server now works but the local hosted editor does not connect. I look at one screen and wonder: "Why does this work?" and then at my other screen (same code, same port) and think "Why DOESN'T this work?"

Hey Guys
So... I Have a question / rant / frustrated commenting to do...
WHY THA FUCK DO FIRMWARE TAKE SO LONG TO UPDATE!!!
been configuring my webserver and 2 p2p cameras to access from the outside, and for each click or change can take 1 to 5 minutes to implement...
And then, like 6 or 7 hours latter I notice that everytime the port wasn't associated, a small label in like size8 text shows that port is already in use...
And... Da FUCK??
I'm associating the ports myself... how can port 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, ... be In use?
I have my server in 80, WebDav e another non relevant port, and trying to find open ports for the p2p cams...
Fuck I'll just delete all that services that no one uses and are pre configured, like, emule? napster? FifaPC? WTF? I never played Fifa, don't like socker. KaZaA SERVER? WTF why does this shit comes pre-configured?
Btw I'm writing this while I wait for the router to finish every time :p

PROBLEM:
We need to log out phone calls in and outlet of the company

How we wanted to do it:
Use node.js to read the serial port from the phone system then store the data into the MsSQL database

Eventual solution:
1) Read serial port
2) store in local MySQL database
3) every 3 minutes create a CSV file containing the last 3 minutes of calls and store on a Windows shared directory
4) have a access 2000 programme collect these files every 30 minutes
5) insert into MsSQL database

When 32 GB RAM is no longer enough...

:~$ ps -eo pid,pcpu,pmem,vsz,rss,args | grep java | sort -nrk3 | head -1
9071 117 74.6 34740516 24338652 java -Xms2g -Xmx24g -Xss40m -DuploadDir=. -jar webapp-runner-8.0.33.4.jar -AconnectionTimeout=3600000 --port 9000 heaphero.war

when you need to use skype again for that new client, and you forgot it blocks port 80.. raaaage!

3 months to port Chorus kernel to Transputer in 1994

A CTO who tells you to use web interface instead of cli (ssh) to configure port forwarding

me: block all in&put connection
firewall: ok
me: open port 22 for local network
firewall: ok
me: enable firewall
firewall: ok
me: restart pi
firewall: allow me connect
me: open port 80 for local network
firewall: ok
me: open port 443
firewall: Oh! i have to block icoming connections on port 22

!!THE WORLD IS COMING APART!!

How in gods name did Putty manage to map a SSH tunnel to port 83306 and MySQL Workbench just didn't care and worked?!?!

So last year I sent my PC to get a motherboard replacement, as I couldn't be arsed replacing it or even research what motherboard I should get(was dealing with more urgent personal matters).

Anyway, I get it back and everything works good but not the front USB port.. I always found it weird, but also didn't bother to open the case and double check, so I let it go and assumed, since the motherboard was fried, that the USB wires were faulty.

Time passes by and I decide to open the case for annual cleaning job... Turns out the motherfucker didn't connect the port, why?? Fucks knows why... Obviously the wires were "short" and he didn't even try to pull it out further!!! You little piece of shit,for a full year I've been living with a missing usb port, the fucking front facing mother fucking usb port. Fuck.

Moral of story? Don't be a lazy ass and fix your shit on your own!

People need to fucking shut up about this MacBook Pro port shit. They're moving all their ports to one unified port that has a standard interconnect that people have been wanting on Android phones and other machines since USB C was announced. Shut the fuck up and notice that it's changing for the better.

Hi guys, i have a serious question

I have added port 22777 to UFW to allow ssh through that port then i notice that it wouldn't work, after some time wasting, i added the same rule to iptables, then it worked, why do I have to add the same rules here and there twice? Is Ufw just a decorative app? WTF is going on? How to get rid of iptables and use only ufw? why should i allow the port twice, I need your answers please

Me after my Mac decided to run two unkillable mystery httpd processes on port 80 when I’m just trying to meet deadlines using MAMP for local dev but it no longer works.

Forgot to add build.prop to ported rom. I guess, that is the problem why it is not booting up.. :/

I'm running a 4K monitor on my ThinkPad T470P with Display Port. I'm getting quite a bit of latency/lag. Anyone happen to know why?

This more of a tifu but to be short and concise..

4 months into the job, still learning the hang of docker, exposed a critical port that collided with a node, crashed our entire internal docker ecosystem. What a day...

The company I work in had to build a software that establishes a connection to a MySQL database running on an external server. It doesn't work for the client company because the firewall is very restrictive and only lets through connections on port 80, so we had to build a fucking http server that forwards SQL queries to the MySQL server and returns the result. This is so horrible!
(Running MySQL on port 80 isn't an option as any other connection type than http is blocked by the firewall)

Motherboard has a centronics printer port but no VGA!