Got this in a fortune cookie the other day right after I released a new app.

During a random school project.

Me: *Explains why team members idea is bad*

Team member: *Im going to do it like this anyways.*

Me: *add explaination of why idea is bad to git commit log.*

1 week later: some parts of the project dont work like they are suppost to.

Team member: *dude can you help me bla bla....(encounters issue i mentioned regarding his idea)*

Me: *no, i've already got too much on my plate. please, sort it out yourself....*

At the presentation

Teacher: *ask question about problem*

Team member: *tries to blame the problem on me....*

Me: *shows git commit log to teacher*

Me: *passing grade*

Team member: *failing grade*

Justice served.

(sensitive parts censored)

Friend: Hey, can you hack my (some website) account?
Me: Depends... What's your username?
Friend: (tells username)
Me: (clicks forgot password?)
Friend: I will give $10 if you do it. There is 2 factor authentication enabled.
Me: (silence) Ok.
Website: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: Hey, did you graduated BLAH elementary school?
Friend: Yeah.
Me: Ahh, I remember. You moved to BLAH elementary school in what grade?
Friend: 4
Me: Hmmm, I don't remember seeing you. What class were you in?
Friend: 5
Me: Well, I now remember. Stupid me. (smirks)
Friend: Haha. (continues to play games beside me)
Me: (Types in 8)
Website: We sent you a password to blah@example.com
Me: (uhh, heads to example.com and clicks forget password?)
Email: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: (wtf is this, types 8)
Email: Please type the teacher's name when you were in in 4th grade.
Me: What was the teacher's name?
Friend: Huh?
Me: When you were in 4th grade.
Friend: Ahh! John Smith.
Me: Ahh, he was strict, right?
Friend: Yeah (continues to play games again)
Me: (Types in John Smith)
Email: Set a new password.
Me: (Types "youaresostupid")
Email: Done!
Me: (copies PLAIN TEXT password from email, logs in to website)
Me: Da-da!
Friend: (gasps)
Me: Money plz~
Friend: Nope.
Me: (wtf, then remembers i changed his email password) Fine then.

=====================

1. There is 2 factor authentication enabled. : Got it?
2. The website sent plaintext password.
3. He is just pure idiot.
4. I didn't got the money.
5. I am now a h4x0r

So I "grade" homework for programming 1 students...
Task was to produce an output like:
1
1 2
1 2 3
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4 5

...and this was committed!
I really had to hold back laughter...
This looks purposefully obfuscated...

Codacy is cool!
It gives my code a grade. So it's like school and university, but much easier since I can just disable all the warnings and get an A.

First internship: accepted within two weeks, only got to do Google translating and fired after five weeks for bs reasons.
Grade: bad.

Second internship: accepted right after the interview. Rewrote websites to their newest cms, not that fun sometimes but alright.
Grade: pretty alright.

Third internship: was accepted without asking after a successful pilot program from my study. Designing and developing a huge back end system, done some smart light bulb hacking and get to solve server problems.
Grade: Great! Just one little thingy: they said I should stop doubting myself because "you're a great dude and programmer!"

It's getting better and better!

So I picked up my little brother (6th grade) from school.

Him: We had computer hour
Me: Cool what did you do?
Him: We programmed a game
Me: That's cool. In what language did you program?
Him: English

I burst out in laughter because I didn't expect that answer.

I know I should have asked the question better.

After that I found out that they used scratch.

Person: *glances at my grades*

Me: Here we go again.

Person: I thought you were smart. How did you manage to get a C?!

It was a C (programming language) quiz. 🙄

*has a 94% in information security class*
*teacher gives us study guide for final exam*
*heavily take notes in the margins and study the packet obsessively for four days*
*come in to take the final*

*exam doesn't mention a single thing on the study guide*

*makes a 78 on it*
*final class grade drops down to an 87% (a letter grade lower than before)*

"Congratulations, Miss Meowijuanas! You had the highest score on the final!"
*hands me a candy bar like I'm a child*

"Maybe it's because you gave the class an extremely poor study guide which emphasized on material that wasn't covered on our actual exam? You shouldn't be congratulating me on a 78."

*teacher says he used the study guide from another teacher and must not have looked at it thoroughly enough*

*shakes hand and thanks him for having me as a student this semester*
*kicks a trash bin outside of the university 6 or 7 times*

I'm not even mad about my grade. An 87% is nice, although I know I would've done better otherwise. It's his pure, unmasked and unashamed laziness that makes me feel so violent. It's showing students like me that an educated individual like yourself couldn't be bothered to take five minutes or so to read over a fucking document for his students to make sure they're properly prepared for a major exam.
How the fuck can you be hired as a university professor and be this obvious about not putting effort into your work.
Fuck you, sir.
And fuck you again for all of my other classmates who did poorly because they followed your inaccurate study guide.

Back in ninth grade.
Ouch..
(But I made a pretty decent game with it xD)

If grade school was like stack overflow:

Kid: "I can't figure out how to subtract on this problem."
Teacher: "LULZ you fuckin dumbass, someone already asked about subtraction! Learn to Google and stop wasting my time!"

My dream project is to work on a Hollywood grade raytracing engine (Pixar Renderman, Disney Hyperion,...) I have done some hobby grade ones like to produce the image here

It happened again.

This time my colleague, is abbreviating "cumulative" as "cum" in a variable name, and now I have to control my 6th grade humor...

Give a man an Android app and he will thank you for a day. Teach a man how to create Android app and he will curse you for a lifetime.

That moment when you realise f(x)=x²
that you did in 4th grade and now
Function(x){
return x*x;
}
....😯😮😲😱😵...
You realise that Everyone has been doing programming all their life....

Flashback to when I was in 7th grade

Art teacher: Taco, your focal point is wrong
Me: *looks* ....no it's not
Art teacher: *looks* ...oh, you're right

Fast forward to c++ class

Prof: Taco your calculation is incorrect
Me: *looks* ....no it's not
Prof: *looks* ...oh, you're right

Military grade encryption: md5
Enterprise grade encryption: Base64

I used to sit next to my friend Mira in class. I did all the homeworks and extra homeworks, she didn't. I had better grades in intermediate exams. When the final grade came, I had a grade lower than hers.

When the next semester started, I met that professor again. He called me Mira! 😡

I was mediocre in school, you could say my average grade was C++.

7th feb : Spend rose day by explaining my 10th grade nephew how to draw "rose" in c++.
8th Feb: nephew calls me and said thank you, his classmate agreed to go on a date with him.

When i was in 10, i was busy watching micky mouse and all.
Sigh.

Why am I between 8th grade and 11th grade ?

So DevRant asked me to put my skills on my profile, I'm like:

you wanna know my languages, well, I'm a human Android sipping on Java, got C++ grade phy-SQL education. but some idiot bashed me on my </head> so swift, that I objectively-c angular stars, everywhere. Recoved by a js injection. ASCII too in snowy Cs

I'm in grade 9.
I started a programming club in my school.
I told them that I'd teach basic HTML,JS,CSS,C++,C,Java.
Nobody signed up.
Because it happens on Thursdays.
FML.
However, people told other people that I have wicked programming skills and so one of the school staff asked me to help them maintain their school website, which is currently just Google Sites (*vomit).
:(

My last special snowflakes teacher story. This happend last Friday.

Background: we had to do a "little" project in less than 2 weeks (i ranted about that) and got our degree on Friday. I did a perfectly fine meal suggester, with in my opinion one of the best codes i've ever written.

After getting my degree (which is totally fine and qualifies me as IT technician/ "staatlich geprüfte Informationstechnische Assistentin") i asked him what my grade for the project was.
Me: what was my grade for the project again?
Him: i left it at 90%
Me: why exactly? You seemed to be really excited and liked it obviously. And there was no critique from you after my presentation.
Him: yadda yadda. I can't give you more. Yadda yadda be happy i didn't lower your grade.
Me: why would you lower my grade? This doesn't make sense at all. I matched all your criteria. You wanted a program everyone loved, everyone wanted to buy. There you go. I made exactly that.
Him: i can't give you a 1 (equals an A)
Me: why not?
Him: you wrote to much. I didn't want so much (he never specified a maximum). And you used to advanced code. And there were so many lists and ref - methods. The class couldn't benefit from it.
Me: Excuse me!? The only "advanced code" i used was a sqlite library. And i explained what i did with that. What do you mean by "so many lists" and ref-menthodes. In which methodes am i using ref?
Him: I don't know, i just skimmed through the code.
Me, internal: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!?
Me: so you are telling me, you didn't even read my code fully and think it is too advanced for the class? And because of that you give a 2 (equals a B)?
Him: yes
I just gave him a deathstare and left after that. What the hell. Yes, i used encapsulation - which is something we hadn't done much in class. But the code is still not more advanced because i use more files -.-

The school I went to...

Grade 1:
*GTA and minecraft to let student familiarize with cheating command and console

*Student should find and read the damn documentation him/herself about items, mobs and quests in every game. Be self motivated!

Grade 2:
*Contribute to community for myth hunting, map creation and glitch

*Solve personal networking, graphics problem and understanding hardware limitation.

*Solving game compability problem after Windows update

*Introduction to cracking and hacking

Grade 3:
*Motivation to host a game server

*Custom server scripting => start To really code the first time, Perl, python, etc

*Introduction to Linux server and Debian

Grade 4:
*From DDoS to server security

*Server maintenance and GitHub

*Game Server web development

*Motivation into non-gaming discipline by a random YouTube geek

*Set up mincraft with raspberry pi and Arduino

*Switch to Linux or Mac and just dual boot for gaming

Prepared for the real world.
Congratz for the graduation in the Pre-school of Developers (11-14 yrs old) :)

It was the time of the 90s when one created HTML with frames. During an HTML exam we had 1 hour to create a website with 3 frames. Top, left, main. Some aligned random images and some formatted text. Kind of boring, I know. So I finished early and handed in my diskette with my homepage. To make it easy for him I added my name and class to the title.
When we got our grades I was in for a surprise since I had expected a good grade. I asked him why I didn't get a good grade. He kind of shouted at me that my task was perfectly done but I shouldn't have written my name in the title but name and address of this school. It is not a really dramatic thing but I always hated when teachers quietly assumed stuff and didn't tell us. And then handed out bad graded for totally unrelated stuff.

Just did 70% of the job for a software project in college, only to get the least grade of the group because others were more vocal during the presentation.

The thing that irritates me is that not only did they assume that they can take part credit for my work, they cared more about 5%of a semester grade than their own self respect.

No hard feelings though, because even though I got lesser marks(about 2-3 marks lesser), I gained the most knowledge in the group, which is what matters

It's when your teacher gives you an 8 out of 8 grade for literally one printf and one scanf program that you realize the average level of your class is ridiculously low.

That awkward moment when you alter your code to see if it work this new way, and doesn't, and undo does not work. *Weapons grade facepalm*

This is what I call " Grade A " recommendation engine ..

When your teacher starts teaching you Scratch in the 11th grade...
She said Python is “too hard“

I hate these cringy memes created by first grade software engineering students, damn.

School forced me and two classmates to do a project for a company...

Apparently, the company got paid 20K for developing the app, and we're sitting here without even a thank you...

Worst part is:
Our final grade depends on this...

!rant
Just remembered the project back in my bachelor CS classes. The Prof was so utterly busy that he did not even read my thesis which he had to grade. I once sent him a 2mb bulk from /dev/rand which I piped into 'documentation.pdf' and got an A.

Sometimes the worst professors are the best :D

!dev
I'm a dumbass and caught the falling bowl of boiling cheddar broccoli soup with my residual limb, which means that my elbow is burnt and makes typing a major pain in the ass because of the damage.

I also have to grade 5 assignment groups of roughly 30 submissions and leave feedback.

Typing hurts and I regret life at the moment.

And I'm still on call for my primary job.

Please send jokes to make me feel better.

2nd year of college, in computer science course and they're teaching us how to create star patterns using 'for loop'. Feels like 9th grade all over again (sigh)

"There were a lot of complaints about missing grades" well, yes. That's what happens when you make me grade all 60 submissions every week while I work 10-12 hours a day at my other job, on average.

few years back,I wanted to be become supercar designer or weapon designer.

Due low grade in 12th.I got admission in computer science instead of mechanical.

c was introduced in 1st sem.

Score well in first year.

college offer me to change my field cs -> mechanical

4 year later (now)

2 drop's
1) due to health
2) financial issues

happy to be full stack developer.

still like cars and weapons but choosed cs as my real career.

DEAR FRONTEND CLIENTS

STOP ASKING ME TO DO THE GEOMETRICALLY IMPOSSIBLE

YOU PASSED FIRST GRADE YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW SHAPES WORK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

If you make students take coding tests/quizzes on paper, don't grade them on picky syntax errors! We don't code on paper in the real world; syntactic highlighting and red squiggles will usually show you that you accidentally typed that declaration incorrectly. Understanding programming concepts is much more important than being able to write a program on paper.

Schools in India be like - "We teach CS from 3rd grade!"

Me: "Name a few programing languages"
3rd grade student: "Basic, cobol, pascal..."
Me: (thinking) "Am I in stone age...?"

My son is remote learning, 5th grade.

When the teacher calls on one of the student's named Alexa and asks a question... some kids with Alexa devices in their house get the answer for free....

My first real web project was in my senior year of college.

It was a hacker rank clone. And supported a bunch of languages. It was a fun project.

Others created a static website.
And guess what? they got the same grade as I did.
Fml

Just got a new work laptop last week. An upgrade from a crappy consumer grade piece of shit to a proper business grade 8c/16t laptop feels good.
Also Fedora.

In grade four my teacher had a vic 20 and he let one student per week borrow it to take home. It didn't have any software but the book that came with it had some instructions on how to write some small basic programs.

>First grade
Teacher: This is a Keyboard, this is a mouse... blah blah blah
Now play Mario!

There was also some space racing game or something installed on the computers. We weren't allowed to play that game, so of course, we did what we weren't allowed to. It was always fun to sneak in a game when the teacher wasn't looking or wasn't around.

We were also taught MS Paint. I "painted" a squirrel in one of the lab sessions, the teacher loved it and showed it to everyone. Everyone applauded and then I became the MS Paint Guru (for them). Fun times..

Yay! Passed advanced programming final test at university with grade 20/20 !
The test wasn't a challenge at all but I'm just happy 😀

Sometimes, I think Android Studio is using my resources to actually mine bitcoins whenever there's a grade build.

Can't believe a student, that got higher grade in Database Management System, asked me
"How do you connect 2 Tables in SQL?"

Well I did help her, but please...

"STACKOVERFLOW"

I've been working towards a degree in CS recently after being out of school nearly 10 years. I've been trying really hard to keep an open mind and not complain about the professors, but I have to let this out.

My one class we have to write all of our code in their specified editor which I hate, but I understand the need for standardization, but then once it is error free we have to copy and paste the code into ms word and turn it in!! Really?! In 2018 I can't just submit my source files and you open them to run and grade? I seriously have to copy my code into ms word for you to grade it? I don't even understand how you would grade that because it kills the formatting and readability, not to mention the quotes get changed to their curly counterpart which isn't valid syntax.

Officially graduated today

20.10.2022.

After 6 painful years

BSc computer science

Shit was tough as fck

Defended my thesis with grade 10/10 (or A in ur american grading system)

...

What do i do now i feel so lost

When you develop and test your (Android) app on lower end devices, thinking that if it works on low end devices, it will work on higher end devices too.
And you get crash reports from the higher end (huh! Flagship grade) devices only.

*hits blunt*
The reason Americans can't code is because it's called kindergarten not grade 0

First time in years that I've hugged my best friend. Felt weird and we got really confused looks from the others (class full of boys n shit), but we were so happy because we both got a really good grade on an important test!

Why isn't this a common things men do!? We should all hug more 🤗

My god, the managers don't even know their credentials to the Bitbucket account that THEY created!!!

🤦‍♂️🤡🤦‍♂️🤡🤦‍♂️🤡🤦‍♂️🤡🤦‍♂️🤡🤦‍♂️🤡🤦‍♂️🤡

Let's just hope they're not locked out for good... now THAT would be some grade-A comedy!

Done being on call. Now to sleep, drink grade, drink more, and go traumatize firefighters 😈

Fucking teachers, man.
I had to present a project today.
Teacher randomly asks me
"Where did you copy this from?"
At this point I'm pretty fucking pissed, but am thinking that he might just be kidding around or fucking with me. Nope. Serious question. Well, fuck, now I have to start defending my own fucking work, because this fucking asshole assumes that I copied my project from somewhere.
He fucking questions me like I'm a murder suspect for half an hour. After that he gave me a passing grade.
I have no problem with the grade. My project wasn't entirely finished, I knew that I would only get a shitty grade on it.
I have a problem with this line of questioning. That fucker thinks that accusing people of plagiarism okay. I don't think there are appropriate words to describe such a rotten person.
The funny thing is, that colleagues who did in fact copy all their fucking work, were not questioned in such a way.
So basically if you think for yourself, work your ass off, you are a fucking cheating asshole.
Dear teacher,
I can say, from the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself.

“No it’s better this way, it’s an enterprise grade architecture design” - someone who was no idea how to build an app

I had a test when i was in 9th grade for computer( not computer programming )

Q) how many KB are i an MB ?
1) 500 2) 1000 3) 2000 4) none of the above

Since its 1024 i thought its none of the above like a sane person but my teacher be like " there are 1000 KB in 1 MB." I tried to explain that i think thats wrong but well gg.

For a large team project, I was working on the website. I implemented a log-in page that took me a bit of time since it was my first time.
He grade that process poorly saying he has seen log-in pages all the time and it was nothing new or exciting...
YOU ARE A PROFESSOR FOR AN INTRO CLASS! YOUR JOB IS TO LOOK AT THE EXACT SAME THING EVERY SEMESTER, SHITHEAD.

This is a question of my English test. And I'm at the 11 grade...

I switched ISP package to a "business grade connection" (not just a marketing meme, actually meant for businesses), which is easily three times the default and yet still my fucking internet goes down every third day.

So I have too many posts for wk110. It's sad. Here we go. I got a bad grade on an assignment for a hello world program in college. How do you write a hello world program that successfully prints hello world and not get 100 percent?

The teacher insisted that we write a console "hello world" program in C++, on windows. If he can't read hello world, you fail. So you must add `system("pause")` at the end so the window stays open. One problem: system() is horribly insecure and im stubborn. I refused to write exactly what he wanted, like everyone else did, because I try to not write code I know is unsafe. So I ended my script with cin.get() which also pauses for input. Unlike pause however it can't be any key, it reads a line, so you must hit enter. This was "unfavorable behavior" and ultimately I got something like a high C, low B grade. Only person to not get 100%

Gotta love moments when you find legacy code like this :)

P.S. Yeah, that was the whole script, written by just one guy.

Today our team got the best grade in our Windows OS presentation in English.
I have talked about the security aspect and got an A.
The other two comrades got an A and an A-.
My English teacher told me that I was perfect. That made me so fucking proud. Oh god.
I don't even know why I'm writing this lol

Teaching my little sister Mathematics (Grade/Class 12. Not at all easy).

And I can really understand the textbook definitions in the chapters. Back then, I never understood a single line of it.

Am I a more sound mathematician now or reading poor documentations has improved my skill to read complex and minimal contents!

The moment when all your tests cases for the first assignment of the term pass, your code is refactored and have adequate comments but you only get a 52/100 because your marker says your code is not "elegant enough" as a feedback.

Yeah, those were his exact words with no specific context or reasons. He didn't even explain when I went to him for explanations. I don't mind a bad grade, I could be wrong and that is fine.

#rantend

My non-tech friend was looking into a degrees guidelines for N.C. State University and they recommend C++... she thought C++ was the grade she needed to average to get that degree. 😂

The MS Teams SDK is bullshit. It's so half baked and comes with instructions like "you'll probably want a better implementation for production, good luck cause you'll have to write it yourself."

Oh and don't forget to cache your installations in a file called "notifications.json"

Deploying will create 2 app registrations (OIDC) and about 6 resources in Azure... But "you'll probably want to log to app insights in production"... So I hope you're very familiar with Bicep cause you'll have to figure out how to add that to your template properly and there are about 7 Bicep files to decipher and it doesn't create an app insights out of the box.

Probably written by an intern.

We learned Java in school this year. Everyone who did not comply to the coding style defined in some stone-age books, got a bad grade, including me, who rather used a "normal" style everyone uses. They thought us this:
CLASSNAMES, Constants, MethodNames, VariableNames, etc.
Worse than that, they used german names for pretty much everything including classes, variables and methods.

For decades, the computer industry has been talking about replacing silicon in future chips.

AMD finally did it - all of their more recent chips are made of military grade unobtanium!

rant && !dev

Am I seriously being asked to provide the proper units of volume in a university-level calc 3 course?

This is something they teach you in 8th grade at best. It should be fucking obvious at this level that volume is in cubic units.

*Didnt understand anything mathematic back in grade and highschool

*Can understand math in code no problem.

Apparently the grades machine at my univ is not at all bug proof

Day 2 in ComSci class (following my last rant)
"Okay, so! All of the schoolwork and homework will be done on paper and pen, submit and I will grade it. Only once, no second chance"

Okay. Okay. This went over my head. What are you gonna do? OCR the code into the compiler, compile it and run to see if we fucked up to give us an F? What are you, god? Here's a brilliant idea, teach them Assembly! Guaranteed error to give us Fs! FUCK YOU

I think I'm ready for 8th grade :p

Top reason to not be a dev?

Because you could't get through 9th grade Algebra you dumb piece of shit.

Back in grade 7. B was the only correct answer.

I really don't understand why my university thinks "Oh yeah, make the super easy python assignment that can be finished in 1 hour (max) using basic logic, syntax, and file I/O a 3-person group assignment, there's definitely not going to be just one guy writing code while the others free-ride and get an easy grade."

My tower defense I wrote in school.
Got the best grade :)

Our 10th grade computer classes in school consisted only of writing 1 printf statement in C, which earned you an A.

Hey devs, what kind of headphones would you recommend?

I'm looking for high end, but not completely audiophile grade.
My budget is in the $300-$400 range.
Wireless is preferred but not required.

And please, nothing that completely drowns me in bass :P

What a relief!

I got my final certificate for finishing 9th grade, and the council has determined that (drums please)

IM GOING TO CYBER / COMPUTER SCIENCE NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

My college wants me to submit my final project.... On a compact disk!
Yes, I'm sitting here facepalming myself to a pulp.
Like what the actual fuck, those things died six years ago! The last time I burned a cd was probably when I was in 9th grade and had a potato for a computer.

Dear Hipchat, if you are going to implement an Autocorrect Feature, LEARN THE FN TECH LANGUAGE

if i type gradle i do not mean grade
if i type coap, i do not mean soap
if i type mqtt i do not mean mitt
and for f-shake hipchat is not "hip chat", how do you even mess that one up!

(feature now disabled)

If I dont fucking get a passing grade on this test I'll have to wait another year for my diploma yet I allready siged a full time contract 🙃🙃🙃

Unfortunately, I was causing the bad experience of the group project.
Had a 3D modelling class at university. I was totally overwhelmed and had no time to do anything for the project. I was too scared to face my team so I decided to just break the contact and didn't show up to the presentation.
I thought I would get a bad grade and that I will have to take the class the next year again.
But the worst part is, I got a better grade than the rest of the team because someone did the part, I was responsible for, so well.
I felt so bad for my behaviour, I cut my hair and shaved and hoped they won't recognize me at the university.
I'm sure there are or will be some rants about me this week -.-'

Have to do a jee project without any knowledge in java, in 2 weeks.

Why ? My classmates put me in a group when i wasn't here, of course they know nothing and are not going to code..
Fuckkkkkk you!

Well, any advice with jee ? Where should i start to get a good grade x)

make let not var

Other devranters:
LOL
MOAR
OHAHAHAHAH
OMG SO FUNNY

me:
make: *** No rule to make target `let'. Stop.

i had to do a project with someone who isnt that good at programming. but for her to learn programming, i wanted to let her do part of the code even though i could have done it myself. so she wrote some code after 2 days without me intervening. then i checked out the code and it was total crap. it was ugly asf, it could have been optimized a lot more and a lot of variables were unnecessary and to think that the code was just around 30 lines in 2 days! when its not that optimized, they deduct points from the final grade and having useless variables and functions can also be a negative thing to the professors' eyes.

in the end, i rewrote the code myself because i wanted it to be better. my grade also depends on that code so i shouldnt be ugly asf.

i recognize my mistakes too and sometimes my code isnt as optimized as it can possibly be but imagine her code is waaaay fucked up.

p.s. it didnt even compile

Finally, I finally managed to grade this year using my own project. We're going to make a personal project that will give us enough to reach the next year. It's so much better than doing those shitty school-forced projects...

During my rookie days I used to glorify the fact that I wrote production grade code using vim.

Lol, explains why I would delay on delivery

I just saw the equalizer 2 at the cinema and about half way through there is a phone with "military grade encryption" on it. We see the phone screen showing the encryption and what is it? Freaking JQuery!

"This ethernet cable doesn't work because you made it too fast". ffs I had to fight for my grade that day.

Meeting of 10 minutes to review and grade a project that took months to make. Apparently your supervisor giving you proper attention is not important enough, compared to him getting his food delivery.

My younger brother is a speedcuber and I got this for my birthday.

The albino cube.

Useless, like myself.
Beautiful, like myself.

And btw it’s no shabby dollar-store piece of crap, it’s a real magnetic competition-grade cube.

That feeling of regret after you get a not-so-good grade in a class because you were too advanced in the subject matter. "I already know java I don't need to go to class *miss surprise quiz and class work*" <- me in csc 101 and 102 (retook both). Moral of the story: don't learn too fast on your own if you're in school if you get bored really easily.

"Hello sir, do you have time to talk about...."

Shut the fuck up. Sit the fuck down. Name your stack. I know how to fucking work with it. If I did not select it it is because it was not the right choice. I did not spent 4 years teaching myself to code AND later on obtaining a B.S in Computer Science(another number of years) as well as obtaining industry grade experience for you to tell me what I should use.

Where my female developers at? :D
Have only seen dudes (as far as I can tell from the avatars) since I started.
Also curious to know what you studied/are studying/planning to study at school. I'm a sophomore bioengineering major, started coding as a hobby since 5th grade!

I'm truly surprised how well Linux is coping with my 32GB RAM dev laptop :)

Currently open and actively used:
1. 2x Chrome windows (70-100 tabs total)
2. 5x IntelliJ Idea projects
3. 3x AndroidStudio projects
4. 2x different grade daemons

Still snappy, still quick af!

I wonder how windows would handle that. From my xp 2 IDEs already were a struggle

Does anybody know a course on machine learning with python that doesn't need that much mathematical knowledge? Because in every course I find I need to know advanced mathematics yet I am still in grade 10 and haven't studied it yet.

Have higher technical schools with computer science as one of their topics (such as the one I visit) introduce people to how RAM works in detail earlier than in fourth grade, which would really help some of my classmates.

This platform has become a complete and total shithole. Facebook-grade political posts instead of coding discussions or career advice. Toxic af.

Fuck this.

So just finished my last algorithms and data structures class frequency, feeling pretty confident about the grade, today it'll be all weed, pizza and sex. Life is good :')

In highschool i was pretty much high all the time, my friend and i had to make a project for our final year and although I'd work on it, my stoned ass couldn't concentrate whatsoever and I'd always be watching netflix in class.. needless to say, we got a pretty bad grade and failed the class

GraphQL people: REST sucks because it causes unnecessary data fetching and extra requests.

Also GraphQL people: "PicoLooper - A <200 LOC 🤏 ninja-grade 🥷 bulletproof 🔫 solution for the n+1 request problem 🙅 made with love ❤️"

Just spent literally six hours trying to get my aunt's enterprise-grade 20 mb fiber optic Internet back on tracks.
Two hours trying to reach the technical support, two hours to explain that I was "unexpectedly" hung up by the previous attendant, and honest to hell, two more hours trying to explain what "latency" is.

Seriously, how much do they pay these technicians nowadays?

My company: We have a retention problem. Surveys say they want to be paid more and promoted more.

Also my company: we're going to hire someone with strictly less experience and time in the company than you in at a higher rank and pay grade.

Me - sits down to code
Windows - need to install small update
Me - skip
Windows - HELL NO UPDATE
6 hours later.......
Update faild.

!rant

I aliased the go package manager dep to derp

I do this because I consider myself a grade A derper.

I derp hard when I write in go, not because of not getting the language,on the contrary....I feel quite profficient in it which gives me the ability to derp whilst cosing.

Go is amazing. Such a boring language in the best way possible in terms of syntax but so fun in productivity.

Microservices galore l.

A few months back, my Dad's friend (mother of a 10th grade student) asked me for help on her daughter video editing school assignment because I study 'computers'.

Me on the outside: 'I am sorry, I wouldn't be of much help here as I have zero experience with video editing'
Me on the inside: 'I am sorry, I design and develop software. I am not an all-knowing genius that knows everything even remotely connected to computers.'

My coworker is a grade A super badass.
He work as a consultant and is only on site 2 days a week. He wasnt here on tuesday but got in today, first thing he did was starting to complain about some improvements we made during the week. Next he decided to remove and destroy parts of our software and check in his "improvements". Then without telling anyone about his changes he went home after lunch.

What a legend.

**found this in a grade 11 ict paper's answer sheet in our country... This is Shit

Well shit, now I (re-)learned C,
And all I want to do is program in C,
But all C jobs are like -
"C guru that merged to Linux kernel"
"Driver writing low level must know Assembly"
"Military-grade realtime hardware design"

Isn't there a C job that's like Python - "here I wrote this script in 5 minutes and spent the rest of the day playing Eve Online" :D :D

I wish I had programming friends in my life all I have are kids at middle school that dont know anything about programming and left alone to my mind about all the languages I know and I am left with home work that's like 9th grade math even though I'm in 8th annnd including science,English,And history PE don't mind but out of them all I wish I had programming friends yay 😒 looking forward towards 8th grade again 😒

Really hate that Motorola are quite happy producing shit iPhone X knockoffs but they can't create a moto 360 gen 3... Priorities guys!

(I wear the gen 2 and I think we can all agree it is fucking A grade)

And here's that app.css single file that my predecessor left for entire project. It's the second work he left a treat for me.

Kill me please.

Btw the code looks like it's been written by a second grade kid...

I'm out of high school now but one of my 'fondest' memories of being known as the computer geek was that people would always ask me how they could use the inspect element tool to change their grade permanently. I never had the patience to explain lmao

I'm going to have a test tomorrow... And I still don't know the grade of the test I've done over 1m ago (2nd of November)... And people are saying the teacher told them the grade is coming tomorrow when he told us on my class (2 different shifts) that it was coming out today... Someone send help please
In the uni's regulation it says that if teachers don't release our grades for a test 3d before the next one, we can talk to our pedagogic commission and ask to do something about it. People from my course on fb were talking about asking to remove the minimum grade on the average of our 2 tests, but IDK how that situation is and I don't think there's much we can do about it so on top of tomorrow's test. And changing the date of the test isn't really an option because we have 3 tests left on the next week and 1/2 and it's all so on top of each other so the only solution would be to make it after the 20th (that's our last test, and people have already booked flights to go home)

Started with a "Python for Kids" book when I was in fourth grade, hated it, but a week later I went to a summer camp with my friend where we made a cool CSS3-styled website. Then on, I've finished most of the courses on codecademy, and built some games and apps, and more websites that my friends wanted. Welp :/, if you need me I'll be making my AI or working on an OS. I guess you could say my process was giving up on Python ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It was time of my grade 11 result.
When result was out, I asked my school coordinator about the number of students failed and he replied it was non of my business. I got back home, coded a script in python to fetch the result of 233 students and pass it to text a file. Printed it and gave it to the coordinator the next day, he was like "Ok, I'll tell computer science teacher to give you full marks on practicals"

(Java) Last year in programming class my teacher gave me a example project he had made. Looked through it found problems, fixed them. The next I had programming class I showed it to him. He were really cross about it and gave me a semi bad grade. After some time he told me I was right, and changed my grad.

Just saw someone trying to sell an internal 4TB hard drive because they thought they ordered an external drive...

The internal drive is a server grade fucking drive?!?!

Surely you would be confused as to why the price for what you thought was an external hard drive was so damn high?!

I really would like to post something deep here to harvest internet points, but instead I'll give you following quote.

"I have no fucking clue" -Me, 09/11/2021 18:19PM EST.

Well it all started in grade six I believe and it's all downhill from there.

Hahah the other day I broke the bracket key on my keybord from pressing it while coding and had to buy a new one.
Everyone asked me how I broke the 0 key before the E.

my students use ChatGPT to solve programming exercises... they will surely get a very bad grade!

I think I've reached the point where I've been programming for so long that I have off by one errors doing normal math by hand. Nothing more humbling than getting beat out to a bunch of simple math problems to a grade schooler.

So today at school there were some kids from fifth grade playing football with a Raspberry Pi. 🤦

Working with old codebase...

multiplyNumbers(2,5)
//adds the numbers together

What the fuck??! 4th grade math-terms??! This is real, btw

This week in my school: No access to computers until next week. Magnificent. We don't work with laptops until the 11th grade so... fuck

Is it fair to say that my professor is unprepared to teach if he refuses to use visual studio 2017 in favor of 2010, which may be unable to open my 2017 projects? I'm guessing not, since it's his class, but the Syllabus doesn't mention the class using such shitty technology. I honestly refuse to download VS 2010 until my grade depends on it.

I avoid websites that advertise with 256bit encryption and military grade stuff. This makes them kind of sketchy when they advertise this encryption that hopefully every normal website has today.

!rant
I met a student at my school who is in a grade a couple years lower than me and was interested in learning about Perlin Noise for a game he’s making. Yesterday I spent a couple hours working on reminding myself how the algorithm worked and teaching him how it worked. Best few hours at school I’ve had in a while!

Never be a perfectionist. I am one and it kills me inside. 99% of the time I am not happy with what I did because I know I can do better. Especially on exams. Not because of the grade but because I am not on par with what I know I can do. Its pissing me of so fucking much. Fucking bullshit. Why do I suck so fuckibg much ffs. For real: you should never become a perfectionist because I see what it does to me

Colleges here in the US get to decide the GPA threshhold at which you can no lonver get any aid for. My college is the cheapest in the state (hence why I can attend, despite my treatment) and seems to make it stupid hard to recover from any fuckup, even on their end. First, anything that's an F is normalized to a 0% grade for GPA. Acceptable. However, any GPA-affecting grade that's a 0% also removes a static .125 from your GPA permanently. A combination of the school's fuckups, retarded profs, constant unhelpful runaround and constant server outages (even before the Great 2020 Fan-Shitting) ended in, effectively, 2 perfect As and 2 perfect Fs. My GPA, first semester, due *mostly* to extenuating bullshit, is a 1.75. I cannot fuck up at all ever again or i'm unable to continue going.

It's almost like they just want my money and refuse to fucking provide a decent learning opportunity due to all the absolute horseshit they force me through to do so much as schedule classes, much less lodge a complaint or get help with issues.

Every few months I think about this and I lose my fucking britches.

So back in 8th grade, I thought I would have a really good time, good grades and shit... you know the drill.

Then comes the worst main teacher I have EVER had (will call her Jane Doe because I still have some respect...).

For some odd reason Jane REALLY hated me and one of my friends.

She asked irrational questions in exams, didn't write on the whiteboard, didn't write organized summaries of the learning material... basically a bitch.

I worked my ass off for 2 weeks working for a literature exam on the level of high-school finals (she did that, while straying further away from the actual fucking curriculum our ministry of education has created), and I got the worst grade I have ever had.

55.

Me and my friend both got a fucking 55/100 on an exam I have worked on for 2 weeks. 2 fucking weeks. No computer, no programming, just literature, while my other friend just completely guessed his answers and didn't REMOTELY elaborate and got a fucking 95/100 on his test. Because of Jane, I had the worst average grade I have ever gotten in my life on the second third of the year: 68.5/100. When the high schools in my area were opening for registration I had to come with this ugly ass average and my current school rejected me (at first). After I finished 8th grade, Jane took pity on me and I got a 74.8/100 on the final average. Still, 0.2 points from the minimum. So I got in to my current high school under special conditions.

Jane's excuse?

"It's training for high school".

Training for high-school my ass, in my high school they write on the fucking whiteboard and are more organized, damn it.

My first experience with computers was when I was in school when i was in third grade we had a computer lab and we had to take our shoes off to "prevent virus" that's what we were told anyway...
There were 10 computers and 50 of us so the one who could run to the lab first would get the computer where we learnt something called as logo and while the teacher wasn't looking we would play a game called Dave. man this shit takes me back

Found this gem when trying to figure out what transclusion is in Angular. Didn't we all learn in like, 3rd grade not to use a form of the same word in a word's definition?

"ngTransclude
- directive in module ng
Directive that marks the insertion point for the transcluded DOM of the nearest parent directive that uses transclusion."

My grade in basic programming course went from B to C, determined by a fu****g semi colon! One damn semicolon!!!

Bare in mind that my digital exam was in NOTEPAD with no IDE, no syntax highligting, nothing but black on white!

Is there really any compilator, or realistic job environment, where this could be so devestating?!?!

So I've got the highest average grade in computer in my level. Yet just because I haven't represented the school, I couldn't receive the "Best in Computer" award

My high school programming teacher! He was the one who originally inspired me to do create awesome things with code, and I always think about where I might be if I never took that programming course in grade 11. Thanks Mr. Wong :D

With school starting in a few days, I'm reminded that half our class failed Grade 11 Computer Science, not because it was hard, but because they wanted to play flash games instead of actually learning

school internship grade 9

parents of a girl in my class run a business

they asked do they can get the computer geek

My CS grade came in today and I'm sad because even at my best I could not get through it. Even with all the time I spent in and out of class, and those sleepless nights spent programming into the morning. All this effort and I still couldn't pass this class. My final killed me, and i'm upset because I know this exam doesn't represent all that I can do. It worries me because I feel like I will be told by employers that I'm not qualified because of a number. The number isn't everything, there's a story to every number.

BPOS client sub contracts a website and wants a WordPress one. Creates a design based on a theme.
This particular theme has a demo page.
And when running it through pagespeed insights returns a score Of 29.
Pingdom score of grade D.

Halfway through "development" we get a complaint from BPOS that the site is returning a score of 49 and a Pingdom score of grade B.

Considering how bad the theme is and how optimized we got. I believe that this was a miracle.
The things we do to make a living.

Just had the worst exam of my life today in system development at my university. This cock sucking bitch of a sensor claimed I was wrong in various assumptions about Extreme Programming. Such as: saying XP is an incremental process and not iterative. Claiming UP is more iterative than XP and that various analogies about what iterative means compared to incremental was wrong and even disrupting me while I was talking. Mind you I've been studying these subjects closely the last week and have been reading most of The Pragmatic Programmer to verify various things she disagreed upon. Result grade? In the middle of the fucking scale. Fuck this shit. I'm just glad the grade won't appear on my final graduation papers. And yes, I'm a perfectionist when it comes to this and programming, so if I'm in the wrong please correct me.

When you’re struggling, learning some new framework or concept and your friends still think the entire internet is made solely with html and css because they took desktop publishing in 9th grade.

My cousin came to me and asked me if I don't have some resources about programming becase he will need it in school in higher grade. Then he said me he will be learning about C programming I told him that I have only C++ books and tutorials and if he don't want to learn C++ instead of C and he asked me if there is some difference between that... That will be a long journey I tought

Really sad in 2016 when I have to teach an assistant manager and her underling in a different department about PEMDAS.

We deal with excel on a daily basis and the math always follows that. Had to explain in very simple steps how it works. Then was asked what an exponent was. *weapons grade face palm*

My family absolutely did not support me. Throughout my life my parents wanted me to become an accountant (like my sibling) and encouraged me to pursue that. In 8th grade I initially broke the news that I wanted to get into software development and was told "computers won't be around for another 10 years (this was probably around 2010), don't go into something so stupid". For reference, we had 1 family computer up til 2008 which we had limited amounts of time with.

Every year after, up until the end of 12th grade I told them I planned on going into software dev, and they got angrier each time, before finally they stopped speaking to me for a short time over that summer after I told them I had been accepted into university for computer science.

Now, in my final year, they still think i'm throwing my life away. Their disapproval is what has been motivating me the most, to prove to myself that I can support myself and create good things.

Who the fuck thought that carieer grade NAT would be a great solution instead of just switching over to IPv6 and have functioning internet?

I don't want to share my IP with some bastard who fails every reCaptcha so that pictures take 5 fucking seconds for me to fade out and in again.

Neither Chrome nor Firefox have a reliable way of forcing IPv6 if possible so Google still thinks I'm an evil bot.
I'm waiting for my PayPal to be frozen because of "suspicious actions from 'my' internet connection".
I don't want to share my IP. I want to be responsible myself for everything that happens to it.

Please replace that old switches that are too slow to manage serious traffic anyway and are just wasting their power for being turned on so that I can have an IP address to myself

When I was in seventh grade, I learned to solve quadratic equations and how to convert from standard form to vertex form

Today, when I had to convert a quadratic equation, I completely blanked on how to do it

I can’t remember how to do math seventh graders know

Fml

Focus on projects, not tests.

If you want people to be able to code, judge them by their ability to code.

Plus that way your graduates have a portfolio as opposed to a grade list that says nothing about their usefulness in the market.

If you must do tests, at least mimic real world conditions:

- Digital, no paper
- Internet allowed (have rules on copying SO if you must)
- BYOD, let people work in their customised environment

I hate having to learn stuff for school while actually wanting to learn other things instead. Last semester I preferred the latter, but that got me a bad math grade, which in turn means that I have to actually study for mathematics for the first time in my life in order not to fail the whole year because of one grade.

So I have to delay learning Golang and trying out the Spring framework.
Goddamn it.

Guys, how often do you feel inferior to your colleagues? I'm just thinking since I've just finished first year of uni, and although I got a solid top grade, I can't help but feel that every other person in the year is a much better programmer and it kinda makes me feel like a fraud. Anybody else in university/school feel like that?

We had to finish a student project, our project leader had done some work on the project before and his algorithm to detect an event was complete bullcrap.
I took it in my hands to rewrite the algorithm with the risk that it doesn‘t work and i hadn‘t done any work i could show, which would result in a bad grade.

Luckily my algorithm worked better in orders of magnitude and we managed to deliver on time

Found this book amongst other 7 grade school books...
Fuck, kids are learning the basis for every technical job this days, in my time even chemistry was only theory... Let alone practical lessons

Stop the grade build...

Instead of giving exams at the end of the course, make the courses project based. Most cmps students at my university only memorize information (and even memorize code) just to get a grade, but if instead they had to present a project at the end of the semester they would learn much more and have more experience

When you spend hours trying to find a bug and when you finally do it's like the smallest error possible 😕😟😢😭

Impact on schools in Austria:

full blast on eLearning from home. For everyone, from March 18 until at least April 19.
Unis already have it, 9th grade and up will do so from March 16 onwards already.

Man that's crazy

Past two years when I was in 7th grade, my computer teacher taught us the first programming language ie Python. At first, I just copied the syntax in my copy, and in the evening, I searched for it on YT

This introduced me to a new world of programming and I started learning it further

Lol. Had an exam in college a few weeks ago which involved designing a website on expression web. The Dr responsible for the subject dropped my file and gave me a 0 as a grade and said : "well it's not my fault I lost your file." I laughed so hard XD. Still has a 0 though Lmao.

if err != nil {
if err.Error() == sql.ErrNoRows {
return nil, err
}
return nil, err
}

found me some choice, grade A Go code here.

When you spend hours and hours on a group project at Uni only to learn that it's pass/fail and that the entire course grade is decided by a 20min interview with the teacher... And oh did I mention that the interview does not discuss anything about the code?

First rant btw, thanks for a awesome community!

When I was in first year I told my classmates that I can change their grades on our web portal. I changed their online grades then send them the screenshots. When all I did was changed their grade using Inspect Element. They were amazed.

PS. Didn't know that they're also sending the screenshots to their parents.

When your 1st to 4th grade teacher sends you an invite for candy crush saga xD

Reason to hate my D grade engineering college.

1st lecture of web development.
(Syllabus html,css,PHP)

Expectation : at least teacher will introduce fucking web development technologies.
Reality:
Teacher=> look I don't know anything about PHP so learn from web. I will give you internal marks just submit assignment on time.
😅
Btw it is not story.

I'm close to one year at this company, and so much has changed. the amount of responsibility i have now is insane compared to last year. we'll have an intern this year, so there's gonna be someone learning the ropes from me. I'm having a say in bigger projects , I'm schooling people way over my pay grade, people actually come after me for help now, that's insane. what a fucking year

Ok so I'm a high school student in grade 11 looking to get a degree in computer sciences. I looked at the requirements for big Universitys in Canada and they say you only NEED calculous and vectors and no sciences. I wasn't sure if not taking sciences will impact my acceptance probability or if any of you got accepted to universities without highschool science.

In my grade 3 first exposed to computer and uses MS Paint in Windows 95

Really missing that 😭

++realationships
!rant

I have to make a hard decision. Either I choose to aim for a woman I knew from before first grade or aim for a programmer that I met on a joint project. It's a very hard decision and I need insight. For both people I only have mutual realations.

Saw this meme in an article the other day about why it's a bad idea to make your guru-grade devs quit.

It suddenly dawned on my that the meme pretty much summed up all the decent Devs i've worked with over the years - they generally turn coffee and beer into code.

In the programming aspect of CS, you should have to debug and fix a previous student's project for your final grade.

You don't really learn to appreciate the value of clean code until you've had to fix shitty code.

So my school makes a survey each semester where students grade their teachers performance. This is all well and good.
Till I found out today that admin averages all the teachers scores for that class year. So all the good ones are worse and the bad ones are better off.
So I guess someone is desperate for some extra cash by making the school look better than it is...

When the school district decides to change the passwords to every school related account of every student in your grade. Right before you take an online quiz. (They do this every year for the sophomores to make them change their passwords but they usually do it the first day, not two weeks in) Couldn't even log into the school computers, the site to check our grades, anything. Nice job guys, purposely reset passwords in the middle of the day.

So I got my GCSE results back yesterday. Its the first year with the new 1-9 grading system, and I was really hoping that I could get a 9 in computing (I did in the mock).

What I got? Well. I got 138/160 marks total. What did I need to get a 9? 140/160 marks. 2 marks off of the best grade. 2. I was so damn close.

It’s really easy to gain administrative access on unencrypted windows machines with a single usb. You know what’s also easy? Extracting admin passwords with mimikatz.

Edit: this was back in 5th grade

It was when i was 4th grade. We had windows 95 computers in school. I used tk do assignments on them and submitted with a floppy disk. Yeah, copy paste started there...

Hi all devRanters (if that is a thing),

I'm currently in grade 10, and I'm looking forward to a career in computer programming. I find that sometimes Maths is very intimidating, as such, I want to ask all of the devs here: is Maths really that crucial to the job? Or is it merely a requirement to go to university and get a CS degree?

Thanks in advance!

I forgot how fast my office pc was until my laptop at home grade synced and built my project for a full minute!!!!

When I was in 2nd grade in my school and it was a mandatory course for all the students.
I'm glad it was mandatory.

First rant here

Well thing is that my CS school did have teachers and half the grade was from a product presentation and half on teammates reviews.

My teammates mostly didn't have any idea what SOAP was. That was the theme of the project and we had to make a Webservice which they didn't even understood what it meant.
I spent one day from 8am to 1am trying to explain, in despair I ended up not sleeping, not eating, working 24/7 all the week and collapsing of exhaustion.
I was taken to the hospital, got back home but have lost time and had only implemented 3/4 of the functionalities.
The others (6) only did managed to make a basic GUI I would have to link myself. One of them, the project manager had done testing and lots of good stuff, made a 80pages report but the other 5 were shitty.
They all gave me the worst peer review grade but the manager, they got A I got C (ABCD scale).

I ran my project in my own machine and it works perfectly, so I submitted it to the professor. I got a failing grade because it didn't run on his machine... I had to prove to him on the spot that it was working fine by dragging him all the way to the computer lab where I made the thing.

How about incompetent management? Company absolutely murders any possible increase in productivity. Laptop provided? Slow as balls. Takes minutes to log in. I get a Mac for mobile development and that's OK. SSD and adequate memory but I'm primarily a .NET Dev. Can't get on the network with a virtual machine. They won't I stall even a managed image. So can't use databases because they're all AD authenticated. Got a virtual desktop environment and that sucks worse in performance than the laptop. Add the Assault on local administration rights and the monitoring software that constantly thrashers any memory and hard drive usage and im about to quit over all this... All this decided by a non developer and not asked for our opinions. Yay large Enterprises