Excuse me boss!

During increment time
Boss : There are 50 bricks on an Plane. If u drop 1 outside. How many
are left?

Employee : That's easy, 49.

Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge

Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.

Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.

Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Employee : She crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday

Boss : Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?

Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...

Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the Plane that's the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!

Moral: If your boss has decided to screw u, no matter How much u prepare u will be screwed.

"Dad, where does the babies come from?"
"Well...err...um...do you have any other questions left?"
"What are you doing as a developer?"
🤔
"Ok...let's talk about babies..."

If programming languages where weapons...

1. C is an M1 Garand standard issue rifle, old but reliable.

2. C++ is a set of nunchuks, powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else.

3. Perl is a molotov cocktail, it was probably useful once, but few people use it

4. Java is a belt fed 240G automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t during firing you get an NullPointerException, the gun explodes and you die.

5. Scala is a variant of the 240G Java, except the training manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish.

6. JavaScript is a sword without a hilt.

7. Go is the custom made “if err != nil” starter pistol and after each shot you must check to make sure it actually shot. Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks.

8. Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day.

9. bash is a cursed hammer, when wielded everything looks like a nail, especially your thumb.

10. Python is the “v2/v3” double barrel shotgun, only one barrel will shoot at a time, and you never end up shooting the recommended one. Also I probably should have used a line tool to draw that.

11. Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword, it is usually only used because of how shiny it is.

12. PHP is a hose, you usually plug one end into a car exhaust, and the other you stick in through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on.

13. Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon, it could probably do amazing things if only anyone could actually afford one.

14. C# is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser doesn’t seem to work as well.

15. Prolog is an AI weapon, you tell it what to do, which it does but then it also builds some terminators to go back in time and kill your mom

All credits go to Vicky from damnet.com

How can I help you?
"my email isn't working"
What web browser do you use?
"Yahoo"
Err, okay, what's your email address and password?
"I don't have a password."

I hate having to optimize for mobile, but hate visiting sites not optimized for mobile.

Today I was 25 years old, asking for a raise or a opportunity to reach the next level of my career.

My department manager simply said:
"I'm sorry, but in terms of salary you have already reached the end of your career."

Bye then :)

I've been writing PHP for more then 10 years. So, one fine day while having coffee with new tech manager...

Manager: huh, you've been programmer for very long time. Can you explain how echo works?

Me: err.. Echo. Spit out string. (show some example code on my phone)

Manager: I mean, I want to know, which part in C++ code in PHP engine. (trying to impress with jargons)

Me: I don't know. But why?

Manager: As programmer, you need to know, so you can echo more efficient.

Me: ... Errr... Ok... (I've been echo-ing for more then decade. Is there a way to make echo more efficient?)

Fuck me, big fucking security flaw with a UK internet service provider, my head has gone through my desk and hit the floor it’s that bad.

When I didn't compile the code for 500+ lines and when i finally did, there was only one syntax err... it was a typo... and then it worked...

Code review:

- Almond: This method here is a mix of convoluted loops conditionals and ternaries... I really don't think we can pass this. Can we make sure this logic is a lot clearer?
- Bob: Oh, ok, sure. I'll work on that.

Next day:

- Bob: I've hopefully cleared up the meaning of that code now.
- Almond: Sure, let me look. Err... it looks the same to me? Have you done it in another branch?
- Bob: Oh no, it is the same, but there's a link in the code now to a PNG of a flowchart I put together in draw.io to show how it works.

...🤦‍♂️

Erm, I think I’ve just fucked Google’s AI

me: oh you can add a where clause to filter xxx out with your group by.

arrogant junior: whuuut? you can use where clause with group by ? No u can't!

me: err... yes you can...

arrogant junior: NO!!!! No it doesn't work that way!

me : okay okay... fine ...

**30 mins later**

i see a where clause in the sql statement lol...I don't know why this person is always so pissed and fierce lol

Going down to the new office tomorrow to choose my new nap ro... Err, I mean, our server room.

Just had the funniest call from a recruiter where this guy couldn't pronounce c# ("c sharp").
So he was like "Do you know SQL and c...err..c..huh...cough..cough..c...eerrrr".
I let him struggle for a bit and then I went "c sharp?" and he said "I think so".
Quite useless, really.

Other: "You know the app you're going to develop for us?"

Me: "Yes."

Other: "Can you give me access to it so I can take some screenshots for writing the guidance?"

Me: "Err.. Well not really as it doesn't actually exist yet..."

Why do I have to deal with such people.

Today I was talking to my manager about html and css.

As i was explaining certain things about the structure of the files and the naming conventions for the css classes I mentioned the body of the document.....but got...er...distracted...yes distracted...and said booty instead of body.

She started laughing and I made a tomato look pale because of how red I got. I zipped my hoodie all the way up and talked from the hood hole around my face.

Best solution ever.

What the fuck Apple, I thought selling a monitor stand separately at £999 was bad, £360 for putting fucking wheels on your Mac Pro, fuck me.

I had no fucking clue how to tag this, hence why it’s got 3 categories to it

So we got our first household Alexa yesterday and my brothers have been asking it silly things, like:

Brother: Alexa sing baby shark:
Alexa: <sings baby shark>

B: Alexa sing mummy shark
A: <sings mummy shark>

B: Alexa sing daddy shark
A: <sings daddy shark>

B: Alexa sing grandma shark
A: "I think that's enough, even I have my limits"

Fucking Brilliant!!!

Boss came to me earlier

Boss: There's a critical issue with this release version for this project. Make sure it doesn't get deployed to our test/live environments!

Me: ...

Me: ...

Me: Err, that release went live 3 months ago...

I doubt it’s using more than 4GB of RAM

Co-worker: dude, I need your help!
Me: all yours.
Co-worker: can't fix that sh$t over here.

[IDE]
Err on line~~
badFunction(...);

Me: piece of cake, gimme your keyboard.

[IDE]
Build successeful.

Co-worker: duuude, how did you...???
Me: Better not look.
Co-worker: but I am curious to know, ya know
Me: promise not to scream, k?
Co-worker: I just hope it's none of your old-stylish jokes.
Me: oh dude, you know me for years, trust me, it's fine.
Co-worker: -_-

Just had Windows pop up with a notification saying “We’ve turned on storage sense for you”. Love it how the default is “When Windows Decides”. Was that why countless users lost their data back in October 2018???

I think I’ll turn that off permanently 😂😂😂

I wrote a prototype for a program to do some basic data cleaning tasks in Go. The idea is to just distribute the files with the executable on our shared network to our team (since it is small enough, no github bullshit needed for this) and they can go from there.

Felt experimental, so I decided to try out F# since I have always been interested with it and for some reason Microsoft adopted it into their core net framework.

I shit you not, from 185 lines of Go code, separated into proper modules etc not to mention the additional packages I downloaded (simple things for CSV reading bla bla)

To fucking 30 lines of F# that could probably be condensed more if I knew how to do PROPER functional programming. The actual code is very much procedural with very basic functional composition, so it could probably be even less, just more "dense"

I am amazed really. I do not like that namespace pollution happens all over F# since importing System.IO gives you a bunch of shit that you wouldn't know where it is coming from unless you fuck enough with Ionide and the docs. But man.....

No need for dotnet run to test this bitch, just highlight it on the IDE, alt enter and WHAM you have the repl in front of you, incremental quasi like Lisp changes on the code can be REPL changed this way, plethora of .NET BCL wonders in it, and a single point of documentation as long as you stay in standard .net

I am amazed and in love, plus finding what I wanted to do was a fucking cakewalk.

Downside: I work in a place in which Python is seen as magic and PHP, VB.NEt and C# is the end all be all of languages. If me goes away or dies there will be no one else in this side of the state to fuck with F#

This language needs to be studied more. Shit can be so compact, but I do feel that one needs to really know enough of functional programming to be good at it. It is really not a pure language like Haskell (then again, haskell is the only "mainstream" pure functional language ain't it not?) but still, shit is really nice and I really dig what Microhard is doing in terms of the .net framework.

Will provide later findings. My entire team is on the Microsoft space, we do have Linux servers, but porting the code to generate the necessary executables for those servers if needed should be a walk in the park. I am just really intrigued by how many lines of code I was able to cut down from the Go application.

Please note that this could also mean that I am a shit Golang dev, but the cut down of nil err checkings do come somewhere.

I've seen a job vacancy that asks for the following characteristics in a developer:

- extraverted, do'er (as opposed to thinker), out-of-the-box, curious, sees solutions and not problems, structural thinking vs. theoretical thinking, loves change, acts immediately, makes choices under stress, critically questions themselves if things go wrong

What the [censored] kind of programmer is that? Sounds more like a wannabe brogrammer type.

A typical, real programmer is introverted (for he is introspective, detail-minded and is therefore good at inspecting problems and finding solutions for them).

Seeing problems is not a bad thing, it's in fact necessary to be able to identify issues and not act like your typical manager who only wants to rush to solutions. He thinks deeply and theoretically before he takes action. Theory is the foundation of identifying a problem.

What programmer is stress-resistant? It's not normal for the human brain to be able to deal with stress; this is why switch-tasking is so hard.

Question yourself if things go wrong? Perhaps, but this sounds more like trying to shove the blame around.

Since we live in a rigid computer world with rigidly-defined protocols (say, HTTP), it is often useful to think in a conventional way. Out-of-the-box? Sure, if you're being innovative, or sure, as a tangential characteristic.

In my professional opinion, this vacancy reeks of bad corporate culture.. and the biggest alarm bell I find is: "There is free beer!" Err.. yeah. Anyway.

Coolest thing I’ve built solo?

Damn, there’s been a lot of things over the years, but I guess the most used one I’ve made would be my voice activated tv remote - yes it’s real.

So in essence it’s a google home... yea I know spyware and all, but look it was free so I’m going to make use of it... err where was I, oh yea.

An IFTTT account which taps into the google assistant API and creates a webhook, although the authentication side of things is 0 to none, so had to put a api-key into the requests to at least have some layer of auth.

This webhook then hits a raspberry pi containing a PHP API to accept and authenticate the request in, digest this into KEY commands for the TV, and drops this into a Python script to connect to the TV over a web socket connection ( I found python more stable for this ) and sends the pre made key requests, it can even do multiple keys at a time... that was a pain.

So after all that, the end game becomes about a second from saying “hey google, change the tv channel to xxx”

This sick and twisted contraption is finished and the tv is my little bitch.

This has been built out to handle channels by name, number, volume up/down, sources switching to hdmi, tv, vga and a bunch of other things.

The things we do when we can’t find a tv remote for days....

Next up, getting it to launch Netflix app and going to a specified show / episode.. but may be to adventurous.

The more I use Go, the more i start to like it. I didn’t realize how nice being able to generate binaries for every OS that matters was, until I had that power. It beats the hell out of trying to distribute a Python app for sure.

Sure, it has its warts.

It’s overly bureaucratic in the same way Java is.

I hate that you can’t import something without using it (most people I’d wager preemptively import libraries they know they’re gonna need even if the code isn’t written yet)

I really wish there was a way to just say “See this JSON blob? All those keys and values are strings, trust me, you don’t need me to tell you the type of each one individually.”

Generics would be nice.

I’d kill for exceptions - any decently sized go program is going to have very many if err checks where most could be condensed down to a single try/catch in most other langs.

I wish the tooling was better. Dependency management was a solved problem when Go was released and yet they chose to ship without it. There’s still no standard. Many hours of time have been wasted dinking with this.

But ya know what? Even with those warts, it’s still easier to write than Java. It’s still write once run anywhere, it’s blazing fast, and doesn’t require your end user to install an entire freakin runtime.

<3 Go

Status: 200
Res.body: errMsg: err is undefined

That's real helpful mongo

CEO at work has a Mac elitist as a friend who somehow indoctrinated err I mean convinced him to get apple everywhere, now the most common issue is updating Microsoft products on the Mac.....

Mac elitist guys first name is Steve lol no lie, he also services the Macs which he expects to do so when no one is around, oh and did I mention he wants us to leave our passwords on our desks LOL, he doesn't work for the company and I really really don't trust him, glad I have a git repo, and I hope he doesn't delete anything on my PC (very reluctant to leave my password on my desk, so I may just convince everyone that my Mac is fine, which seems like it's doing it's thing)

Story time

I really love helping and teaching others about code. Recently I had a friend that wanted to get into web development. Being me, I told him that i would teach him all he wants but that he needs to do some research first to show me that he feels comfortable with as a minimum requirement. I told him to research the minimum technologies required to build a web page and to tell me about the request response cycle and stuff like that. When he came back I was expecting small explanations such as "html stands for bla bla and is used for bla bla".No. this dude comes back all proud to tell me about flipping Laravel. I sit there quietly listening to him go on about the "Laravel programming language". He likes anime, I like kendo (and have trained in it) so while he is talking I slowly move us into the part of my office where I keep my boken (wodden sword). As soon as he sees me sitting down with the sword he asks what am i doing with it.
"Well, remember when in some anime that you like you see teachers beating their studets over stupid shit?"
"What?"
..."WHAT DOES HTTP STANDS FOR?"
"The...the err the web language that.. er"
BOINK
"what is javascript?"
"Like the updates thing?"
HARDER BOINK

:) guarantee he wont forget what http is after that and what js and Laravel are from now on :) needless to say he will continue learning with much more care.

Coding dojo for real mofockas, ya dig?

Client: *uses Oracle on AWS RDS*

Ora: *licence about to expire*

Client: we need a cheaper and equally performant solution.

AWS: we have an outstanding Aurora db! Its performance is flawless!

Client: shut_up_and_take_my_money.png

Engineers: *migrating to Aurora mysql*
Engineers: fine-tuning the db for 2 months, adapting app code.
Aurora: *shits its pants during test ramp-up, delivers ~70% of Ora perf*

==========

Client: we need to do better!

AWS: try Aurora Postgresql!

Engineers: *migrating to Aurora postgresql*
Engineers: fine-tuning the db for 1 month.
Aurora: *shits its pants during test ramp-up, delivers ~40% of Ora perf*

AWS: let me see...
AWS DBAs: *fine-tuning the db for another 2 months*
Aurora: *survives ramp-up, delivers ~70% Ora perf*

AWS DBAs: your application is wrong.
We: Ora didn't complain about that...

AWS DBAs: umm.. Err.. Then your load test is wrong
We: ora wasn't complaining about that either...

AWS DBAs: errr.. Ummm.. Oh, I've got it! Your queries aren't optimized!
We: we cannot change queried - they are hardcoded by our framework's vendor

AWS DBAs: well there you go! Your queries aren't optimized! It's your fault, not aurora's

yyeeahhhh... Riight...

From my xp, aws support and aws engineers ALWAYS try to put the blame on a client. Always. Even when they're obviously wrong.

Sales guy: Hey, you're technical. Can you tell me how I'd go about doing (foobar) in this webapp I have here?
Almond: Err... I've never dealt with that webapp in my life. I wouldn't have a clue.
Sales guy: ...but you're a dev right? Oh well, never mind. Anyone more experienced around here that may know?
Almond: No idea, but I seriously doubt any of the devs will have used it. Maybe one of the other sales guys will?
Sales guy: So you're telling me *none* of the devs around here will know how to do this?!
Almond: Very unlikely (thinking why the hell would any devs be using a sales app, but whatever)

...15 minutes later...

Sales guy: Ahah, I figured it out! (Explains what buttons he had to click in crappy app to do foobar)
Almond: Glad you got it sorted!
Sales guy: I'm really surprised none of you devs could figure this out, but I could. Perhaps I should change careers and be a dev.

...what?!

Err...lang jokes

Updated goal in regards to my road to machine learning mastery.

Status: new found motivation

Motivational case: bring humanity closer to having 2B become a real thing.

Reason: big booty droids should be a right to humanity.

End of transmission.

On another note, the sony xperia compact is a real nice device, so is the note 8. I would prob go with the note for power but the size of the xperia is more convenient for my taste.

#1 life lesson learned from coding:
Don't work on projects for the government or any authority EVER!

At work we have a....err....pool of usefulness awareness situation.

You see. The school does not know all that me and the lead developer does. Our head of department does. Our manager used to do(fore she left) but as far as the rest of the 2 fucking campuses are concerned, all of our shit works through magical dwarves that live inside the servers in our server rooms.

Normally, we are fine with this. But whenever one of us misses, or decides to take the day off and some shit hits the fan...THEN and only then do our users know what we do.

So we have a "pool" of items that seem to be picked every time one of us is not there. The more it gets picked, the more people are aware of us, the more they figure out what we do...the more they start to ask for customization and shit like that.

Such a funny situation. Wonder if this will get in the way of friday morning coffee and magic the Gathering at the office.

Or me and the cms admin playing videogames together.

Oh well

Just closed 460 tabs in safari on my iPhone 😂

When a client starts saying that should be easy to do when talking about coding a new feature.

What is wrong with Java CLI applications? Is it really necessary to output a billion lines consisting of INFO an WARN messages?
If I work some longer with beeline I turn into a Java application myself.

INFO: Writing rant
INFO: Clicking submit
WARN: Heart rate too high
ERR!: SHUT THE FUCK UP JAVA!

At work, my closest relation is with the DBA. Dude is a genius when it comes to proper database management as well as having a very high level of understanding concerning server administration, how he got that good at that I have no clue, he just says that he likes to fuck around with servers, Linux in particular although he also knows a lot about Windows servers.

Thing is, the dude used to work as a dev way back when VB pre VB.NET was all the rage and has been generating different small tools for his team of analysts(I used to be a part of his team) to use with only him maintaining them. He mentioned how he did not like how Microsoft just said fk u to VB6 developers, but that he was happy as long as he could use VB. He relearned how to do most of the GUI stuff he was used to do with VB6 into VB.NEt and all was good with the world. I have seen his code, proper OOP practices and architectural decisions, etc etc. Nothing to complain about his code, seems easy enough to extend, properly documented as well.

Then he got with me in order to figure out how to breach the gap between building GUI applications into web form, so that we could just host those apps in one of our servers and his users go from there, boy was he not prepared to see the amount of fuckery that we do in the web development world. Last time my dude touched web development there was still Classic ASP with JScript and VBScript(we actually had the same employer at one point in the past in which I had to deal with said technology, not bad, but definitely not something I recommend for the current state of web development) and decided that the closest thing to what he was used was either PHP(which he did not enjoy, no problem with that really, he just didn't click with the language) and WebForms using VB.NET, which he also did not like on account of them basically being on support mode since Microsoft is really pushing for people to adopt dotnet core.

After came ASP.NET with MVC, now, he did like it, but still had that lil bug in his head that told him that sticking to core was probably a better idea since he was just starting, why not start with the newest and greatest? Then in hit(both of us actually) that to this day Microsoft still not has command line templates for building web applications in .net core using VB.NET. I thought it was weird, so I decided to look into. Turns out, that without using Razor, you can actually build Web APIs with VB.NET just fine if you just convert a C# template into VB.NET, the process was...err....tricky, and not something we would want to do for other projects, with that in we decided to look into Microsoft's reasons to not have VB.NET. We discovered how Microsoft is not keeping the same language features between both languages, having crown C# as the language of choice for everything Microsoft, to this point, it seems that Microsoft was much more focused in developing features for the excellent F# way more than it ever had for VB.NET at this point and that it was not a major strategy for them to adapt most of the .net core functionality inside of VB, we found articles when the very same Microsoft team stated of how they will be slowly adding the required support for VB and that on version 5 we would definitely have proper support for VB.NET ALTHOUGH they will not be adding any new development into the language.

Past experience with Microsoft seems to point at them getting more and more ready to completely drop the language, it does not matter how many people use it, they would still kill it :P I personally would rather keep it, or open source the language's features so that people can keep adding support to it(if they can of course) because of its historical significance rather than them just completely dropping the language. I prefer using C#, and most of my .net core applications use C#, its very similar to Java on a lot of things(although very much different in others) and I am fine with it being the main language. I just think that it sucks to leave such a large developer pool in the shadows with their preferred tool of choice and force them to use something else just like that.

My boy is currently looking at how I developed a sample api with validation, user management, mediatR and a custom project structure as well as a client side application using React and typescript swappable with another one built using Angular(i wanted to test the differences to see which one I prefer, React with Typescript is beautiful, would not want to use it without it) and he is hating every minute of it on account of how complex frontend development has become :V

Just wanted to vent a little about a non bothersome situation.

TL;DR;

Idiot hard coded database host on the app... Pushed to prod and suddenly shit wasn't working... Took me 10 minutes to figure out what was going on...

Wrote a passive aggressive git message and commited.
Before updating prod my boss turns around to me and the following took place:

Boss: is there any problem with the server?

Me: yes, someone (i know who was ) hard coded the test db IP and it broke the backend.

Boss: oh, but will it affect the mobile app?

Me: well, it won't work but I'm already pushing the fix.

Boss: no..err.. I mean... Will I have to make any change to the mobile app?

Me inside: wtf dude... For real?! Get your shit together...

Me: no. It good, I already fixed it.

Boss: OK. Thanks

TL;DR;

Moron hard coded dB's host and stupid boss can't get shit together nor ask who did it to take precautions...

I’ve only just been able to catch up with the UK news and the government missed ~16,000 cases of COVID-19 over a 7 day period due to a “technical glitch”.

The “technical glitch” was the government using an excel spreadsheet that reached the data limit.

Who the fuck thought that was a good idea long term, that’s why databases exist!!!!

Yet another dev team testing in a production environment

...err

Chrome VS Edge 🤔

I’ve had enough of shitty ISPs. Time to shame them 😈

Here in the UK, we have a company called TalkTalk who treat their customers as whores by not giving a shit and taking all their money.

I have had an ongoing issue for about 9 months now where our internet is more unstable, but also slower. We pay for 72Mbps at which we used to get, but now our internet tops out at 30Mbps if we are lucky. It can be 20Mbps one minute and 7Mbps the next, and I’ve had it drop below 1Mbps for no goddam reason.

I’ve spoken (well, argued) argued to their so called customer service department over phone and live chat explaining the situation and all they’ve done is said “restart your router”, or “we’ll send out a new router, it’s probably a WiFi issue”, or some bullshit like “I’ve ‘changed’ something on my end”. On one conversation with a so called technician, I had to explain how networking actually worded, and and even called a 7Mbps acceptable when we were paying for 10x that!!!!!

The thing that makes it worse is they actually have systems that detect any issues with customers internet lines, but they only alert the customer to the issue through an online portal, telling the customer to call up and get it dealt with rather than passing the info to a tech department and having issues fixed without the customer knowing unless it’s absolutely necessary.

So 9 months in and I still have a fluctuating, unstable internet connection which is slow and overpriced with no tunnel in sight. GIVE ME BACK MY GODDAMN MONEY YOU FUCKING THIEVING BASTARDS.

How the fuck can a single web page take up 1GB RAM?!?! Optimise that shit please

What!!! No fucking way!!!

HOW. IN THE WORLD. COULD IT BE SO DIFFICULT TO COMMENT THE CODE I WRITE MYSELF ?

After my first project (you know, the "Working project I made for fun long ago" code everyone did once, but when you look at it again it looks like sorcery and there's no way to understand it ?), I decided that I'd comment almost everything I'd do... But...

When I begin a project, it's fiiiine and I do my comments the way they should be... AND THEN, WHEN DIFFICULTIES ARRIVES AND I START TO BE TIRED (ie : always) THEY START TO INCLUDE INSULTS OR WEIRD JOKES ABOUT THE PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE, MOVIES REFERENCES, AND SOMETIMES THEIR LANGUAGE VARIES. (Like, that project you're doing in English and suddenly there's a comment written in French in the middle of that)

Soo, yeah, even if I do comment my shit now, it isn't more helpful, lol. Maybe I should listen to relaxing music when I code err.

Oh, comments. Damn comments. Someday I'll do those correctly. Maybe.

Freedom.

Code is sat in UAT for a month and no one looks at it. Two days before the (completely arbitrary) go live date and testing commences, finding one bug which is immediately fixed. And now I'm the one allegedly delaying roll-out. Err OK...

When creating auto incrementing integer keys on a MySQL database, please mark then as unsigned, you don’t need a negative primary key 😞😞😞

What developer/team thought that this would be a fucking brilliant option to put in this in a game?

Btw there is no VSync option, just “Limit to 30 FPS”

Anyone else have people that seem to constantly try to "prove" themselves to you in this weird, competitive way that only makes them seem... very annoying? I'll call him Bob here, but it's always something like:

Bob: Hi Almond, how's it going?
Almond: Ah not bad thanks, PSU blew up in the PC over the weekend though so that was a bit of a faff!
Bob: Ah no! How old's your PC?
Almond: Oh, like 7-8 years old now. I don't replace it often.
Bob: Really?! I replace mine completely every year.
Almond: Ah, cool.
Bob: Yeah, I'm a dev so I feel I need to. It's like my tool, you know.
Almond: Sure thing!
Bob: I actually spend quite a lot on it. I make sure it's got the fastest memory I can afford. Like, DDR5 stuff. That's really important, you know.

...etc., while I try to get out of said conversation for the next eternity.

Or:

(while in a conversation about a frontend bug I was looking at in Chrome devtools)
Bob: Hey Almond, you know Firefox actually had a plugin that did all this stuff before everything else?
Almond: Err, yeah, I think so. Used it back in the day.
Bob: It was called firebug. It was really good. Revolutionary.
Almond: Certainly was.
Bob: It was launched in January 2006 you know.
Almond: Right...
Bob: I used it back then.

...I mean damn, I'm all for being civil, but no-one cares you replace your PC every year, or that you know the year firebug was released, or that you once set up 5 identical PCs with different versions of Linux to run some benchmarks...

I think I can learn English here.
HAHAHA
I can also learn professional knowledge.

**I am a Korean.**

And...
Succeed!
Android studio AVD powered pictures

Nice try Microsoft, we all know that you envy a certain web browser

let gfInput = '';
try {
gfInput = getInput('Will you marry me? ')
if(gfInput == 'Y'){
// KISS HER
}else{
throw {msg: 'she dumped you.', code: 'red'}
}
} catch( err ) {
//if err.code !== red . just cry but if red... uh oh
if(err.code == 'red'){
// GOTTA DO SOME DAMAGE
let msg = {
sender: 'anonymous',
recipients : ['dad', 'mom', 'brother', 'sister', 'uncle'],
messageBody: '****ntha has been fucking some dude...'
}

sendText(msg);
}
} finally{
// send ****ntha a good bye message
var msg = {
sender: 'pk359',
recipients: ['****ntha'],
messageBody: 'I invite you ****ntha to my wedding with your best friend *licia. PEACE, bit*h'
}
sendText(msg)
}

2nd rant this week on PHP PDO

PHP 💩:
PHP message: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2014 Cannot execute queries while other unbuffered queries are active.  Consider using PDOStatement::fetchAll().  Alternatively, if your code is only ever going to run against mysql, you may enable query buffering by setting the PDO::MYSQL_ATTR_USE_BUFFERED_QUERY attribute

Me 🤬:
THATS WHAT I’M FUCKING USING. STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING. YOU DIDN’T LIKE THE FUCKING COLONS FOR YOUR FUCKING PARAMATETRS, NOW YOU HATE YOUR OWN FUCKING FETCHALL() METHOD YOU PEICE OF SHIT, AND YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY OTHER ACTIVE QUERIES AS IT’S THE FIRST FUCKING QUERY. ARRGHHH!!!!!

What the actual fuck is wrong with PDO. It bitches about everything 😡.

Not gonna lie. Graduate program has gotten me 100% absolutely miserable. I dunno if it is the institution or what. But shit man. I really don't wanna do it anymore as much as when i started with this institution. Might look into other options, but first class is definitely a pain in the dick. The ammount of hw is too much, the concepts are hard, but my biggest pain: the professor and the teaching assistants. Their accents are out of this world and they just can't speak proper English.

Might go to more....err....caucasian places.

Only just noticed that CSS has variables - when the fuck did this happen and where the hell was I when it did!!!!

Working on random room code in Godot. I am placing 1m * 1m scenes (meshes). Right now its just a square block. I need to work on occlusion of rooms. Then connecting rooms. I am going to try a 3d, but made of 3d tiles inside areas. Still trying to decide on what to use for outside terrain. I did find a terrain library that allows for digging holes in the terrain. This is where I will have players build a base and dig underground.

I am thinking a really casual game that you can crank the difficulty if you want. A relaxed rpgish game with some rts flavor to it. If someone wants to just chill they can turn off the rts side. Allow for multiple bases for resource gathering. Maybe do some automation of resource gathering using slaves...err...minions. Gonna stay single player for this iteration. I don't really want to spend time working on net code for this.

For now I just gen random rooms:

- Hi, I need this config set up on the server. What do you think? Could you do it?
- Yeah seems fine. But we need to assess it properly.
- Ok, let me show you in details.
- Err.. hmm, reach out to me tomorrow.
...
** Then he stays offline all day. **

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO **REACH OUT** TO YOU???? VIA SMOKE SIGNALS??!! Some supernatural powers??

Oh man, I hate depending on other people to finish a fucking job.

Come on guys, use those JSON schemas properly. The number of times I see people going "err, few strings here, any other properties ok, no properties required, job done." Dahhh, that's pointless. Lock that bloody thing down as much as you possibly can.

I mean, the damn things can be used to fail fast whenever you misspell properties, miss required properties, format dates wrong - heck, even when you want to validate the set format of an array - and then libraries will throw back an error to your client (or logs if you're just on backend) and tell you *exactly what's wrong.* It's immensely powerful, and all you have to do is craft a decent schema to get it for free.

If I see one more person trying to validate their JSON manually in 500 lines of buggy code and throwing ambiguous error messages when it could have been trivially handled by a schema, I'm going to scream.

Fuck today. I don't feel like doing shit. I just wanna stay home and watch jojo all day and not have to worry about the lil bullshit we got pending.

Yay, thanks for the shitty error message PHP!!!

Just been told by someone that they think that Megabits (Mb) is the same as Megabytes (MB)... FUCK SAKE🤬🤬🤬😞😞😞

I want to put my head through my keyboard, through my desk, and through the 3 floors below me. I’m so god damn triggered right now

What dumb twat decided to commit a change with the message “FUCK”. And it not just one, it’s 10 or more in a fucking row!!!!!

Thanks, that’s really gonna help me understand what was changed 😡

So our city’s bus service provider has decided to update the software for their “iPoints”, I think they haven’t thought this rollout through.

RIP GPU

No wonder why Google Chrome takes up alot of RAM when running, I've just seen chromiums dev requirements:

System requirements

- A 64-bit Intel machine with at least 8GB of RAM. More than 16GB is highly recommended.

- At least 100GB of free disk space on an NTFS-formatted hard drive. FAT32 will not work, as some of the Git packfiles are larger than 4GB.

- An appropriate version of Visual Studio, as described below.
Windows 7 or newer.

Err... I already downloaded SoundCloud Pulse >_>"

Over a year ago I posted a screenshot of chrome vs edge, and chrome had 92 processes consuming 2.1GB RAM vs edges 19 processes consuming 3.2GB RAM

Just seen this... WTF google, how can you need soooo much ram, I thought you had fixed your high memory issues!!!

When a client starts making decisions and planning without consulting the lead architect of the software.

I tried to go for a job as a ReactJS junior dev.. I got my first interview and they liked my prototype.. but..

A week later they reply: "We decided not to go with you because we hired an expert in ReactJS".

Err.. really? You're hiring expert-level ReactJS developers for a junior position?! What the frig.
You want to know what I think? This whole "It's ok that you don't know everything, you'll learn on the job" thing is a hoax. No, the job market doesn't want novices. With every single interview, I'm met with: "but you're not an expert and we can't afford that".

This reminds me of the best advice my professor (seasoned expert in the field, real engineer with more than 20 years experience) once gave me:

"The job market doesn't have the time nor patience to mollycoddle you. When you enter it, you have to already know things to an expert degree because companies want value. They're hiring you because you have these skills and knowledge.
You have to already know what they ask before they ask it. You're required to know things by yesterday, so to speak. It is an exigent industry out there. This is why we bring you the foundations - so that you go further on your own and you can take on any problem"

Why does Windows have to be so fucking useless when running docker. Everytime i need to make a change to the NGINX container, I have to restart the docker daemon, rather than rebuild and restart the container.

I would be doing this on Ubuntu, if I could install it that is.

I am working in a speciffic engineering team. We are using tools the company has bought and has separate teams administrating them.

Tool X is malfunctioning, throwing server-side errors (some .dlls are mentioned in the err msg)

Me: XAdmin team, there are some suspicious errors and I cannot achieve desired results using tool X

XAdmin: Let me see
XAdmin: I have checked a few forums and could not find a solution. Please log a vendor case

Me: *wat........*
Me: Vendor will most likely require some techical info, some licencing info. How do I go about that?

XAdmin: reach out to the vendor, they will schedule a call. Forward that call to me

Me: *wat............*
Me: *for shits and giggles, register a bogus account at vendor site, try to log the SR*
Me: XAdmin, while logging a SR I am asked for licencing info. What is the aaa, bbb, ccc info of your licence?

XAdmin: *crickets mating*

wtf buddy... How can you call yourself Admin of tool X and ask your customers to log vendor cases for you.....? WTF are YOU there for then??

I'm still WTFed. Like wtf....

EDIT: the guy I was talking to is XAdmins' team lead

Hey devs! I'm new here and I don't know any people on this network, wanna talk about things?

It only...

So it’s 14:43 in the UK and this has happened. FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!!

To err is human, to recurse is divine.

There was this time I had to help a friend of a friend. He was like "Hey, can you help me with some server stuff."

"Sure!"

(*Proceeds to give me a remote desktop connection to a windows server with a Ubuntu VM*)

.... Err.....

Notion: Working with variable arguments in C is weird.

Hypothesis: It might be weird because I am used to it with more....err...dynamic languages.

Solution: hit the docs and stop bitching about shit

Situation that put me in here: Trying to do a game engine is hard....

use the GPT they said...

it will buy you some time they continue...

... took me half a day to notice its stupid syntax err which broke the 50 line sniped ( no err in the console ofc ( thanks JS ) )

it would probably take me no more than 15 mins to find a proper example anywhere on the net and apply my vars to it...

Why does the css border-spacing have to be different in how it takes 2 values.

If you look at margin and padding properties when passing in 2 values, you pass in:

margin: (top/bottom)px (left/right)px;

However, when using border spacing:

border-spacing: (left/right)px (top/bottom)px;

I know I’m simplifying here, but it’s goddamn irritating how it’s takes in vertical and horizontal spacing the other way around. Who the hell thought that was a good idea

!rant

Err...
Week 64 has already passed ^^"

Err I think not!!!

!dev... no coffee in the office 😭😭😭

Regex is fun 😃 NOT!!! 🤯😭

To err is human;
To rant is developing

Love it when you have a SQL query that takes 6.3 seconds (which includes processing time) to execute, and you managed to convert to a process that takes just 0.072 to complete

Just went to sign back into Amazon Prime Video... not sure I can trust it now 🤔

Err. I'm working on something this is a stupid question. But is there a way to save data and stuff without having to go into back end?

If not or if there is. What should I look into/learn to get it done without having to go too deep

1. I have Animal Crossing

2. My internet can drop to 0.8Mbps

3. I have Animal Crossing

4. My internet can drop out 10 times a day

5. I have animal crossing

6. My office pc is my gaming rig

7. I have... I think you get the gist

if err != nil {
if err.Error() == sql.ErrNoRows {
return nil, err
}
return nil, err
}

found me some choice, grade A Go code here.

Why did it take years before someone told me to add this to your bash script to see the line on which a command failed?

errorOnLine() { echo "Line $1 had an error" ; exit 1 ; }
trap 'errorOnLine $LINENO' ERR

I think google is broken

When you search for 'Microsoft startup program' and it only returns articles that show you how to add or remove startup programs from windows.

*sigh*

How often does this happen to you?

Hmm I need to install the nodemon package, ok so I enter:
npm install -g nodemon
Result:
npm WARN
npm WARN
npm ERR
npm ERR
npm ERR....

I then wonder why would it not work??? Then after looking at the errors I realise ohh:
sudo npm install -g nodemon

This literally happens to me almost every single time I install a package.

Did Cloudflare just suffer the biggest DDoS attack?

Go is quite an awesome language if I ignore the actual code to "if err != nil" ratio.

Haha, I’ve just managed to break Google’s picture captcha by clicking false pictures.

In college doing A2’s, working solo. Building a companion app for Trivial Pursuit bet you know it edition. Laptop got hit by virus/malware, stopped me from copying files, lost 2/3’s of my project 3 days before submission.

One of my commits today:
“Corrected a file path for view as it’s causing issues within the live environment”

What I actually wanted to put:
“Changed letter to uppercase in file path for view because live is being a fucking bitch about it”

Why do my Dev and Live environments have to differ 😞, I kept my cool though, which is a first for me 🙂

Err. Any web developers or recruitment people able to please give me feedback on my resume?

I'd greatly appreciate the help 😭

A full stack php developer, PM me today who looks a lot bigger in age than me.
First of all, it was pain in ass and dick to understand what he was trying to ask for help. If cannot communicate in English, fucking use php ...Err hindi

All he was saying was, it's not working, and then added working. Inside my mind... "Is it even working or not"

At last I got, what he said. His nodejs application was running on terminal but not localhost. */ Facepalm..*/ 🤔🤔🤔Ass plam /* dickpalm

I just stepped into windows “light” colour scheme for a minute. I am never doing that again

Developer vs. user experience: it's 2024, tech is used by the masses, and still, every day, I see messages that something "failed", an "error occurred" or that I did something wrong trying to use something supposedly simple like entering a phone number or a bank account IBAN into a web form.

Worse, I remember being part of teams coding and releasing antipatterns like that, spending time in hour-long best practice discussions and still failing to deal with user "errors" in the end.

AI, the deus ex machina supposed to obsolete developers, does the exact opposite of development: fail and err, but always find some positive and polite words to gaslight its users and make them feel happy.

AI will replace developers just because it's better in being nice.

So, our Sales Manager asked us, "what is maximum file size for jpeg banner ad?"

I said, "maximum at 100KB per file"

She asked another question, "what is minimum file size?"

I said, "err... 0 bytes"

I misread elgringo-s username and came up with a joke thanks to it:
What does a mexican programmer call a bad white programmer?

Err Gringo

4 hours sleep is not good for the brain. I’ve forgotten how to code.

To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Found this on reddit once, so true about most people.

I'll miss all the student discounts and awesome software I can use for free.

I should just finish all my tech life goals in the next 6 months including <err: std:out_of_range> and become a carpenter afterwards.

memo to myself: do never take government contracts again

Erm, instead of trying to guess my gender, just put “Dear <first name>” and leave it at that. It’s actually quite insulting

I'm at a bit of a loose end here, I'll do my best to explain and I hope it all makes sense.

I'm trying to find a way to wrap a C++ Console App in a C# Class so I can use the C++ App as a library within the C# app rather than triggering the C++ exe and providing a command to it.

The reason why I wish to do it this way is for maintainability, so I can make changes to the C++ app without affecting the C# App.

I've been looking at tutorials and stack overflow to see if's its possible, but for someone with learning difficulties, I'm struggling to find the right path to take as I'm seeing conflicting info.

Any help would be greatly appreciated, Thanks in advance

WHO THE FUCK THINKS
THIS SHIT
TS:
```
const a = function(callback: (err:any,data:string) => void):void{
callback(null,'balls');
}

a(function(err:any,data:string){
console.log(err,data)
})
```

IS BETTER THAN THIS
ES6:
```
const a = function(callback){
callback(null,'balls');
}

a(function(err,data){
console.log(err,data)
})
```

kys

I’ve just fired up Ubuntu for the first time in a couple of years on a laptop while doing some data recovery. I use windows and Mac in a daily basis.

I’m tempted to switch, I forgot how much I missed Ubuntu

Can anyone recommend a cheap mini-pc / NUC, I only want to run Ubuntu on it.

Can't go beyond this for proper error handling

err => console.log(err)

Why does the Fat Free Frameworks (F3) $db->exec() method have its array count from 1 and not 0.

Instead of doing:
[$param1, $param2]

You have to do:
[ 1=> $param1, 2=> $param2]

WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA?

This is something that PHP PDO gets right, AND I FUCKING HATE PDO!!!

The one in which I am rn is the reason why so many people dislike php, jquery and Java on the server.

Then previous to this one, classic ASP for the web interface and our desktop components were delphi (OLD ass delphi)

Mind you, these are all tech stacks that I do like (php, java and O Pascal in particular) but really dislike in:

php: we have just your standard procedural spaghetti php on some old ass shit.

Classic ASP: Same as with php, no proper structure, made more apparent by the intense limitations of VBScript, I did enjoy the language tho, had it evolved better It would have been more tolerable, but the hoops i had to take to build a propee API in it....boooooy that shit was an eye opener.

Delphi: Not bad in itself, but the original dev had a shit notion about how architecture should work.....or what architecture is for that matter.

The Java one: this shit was coded when Spring was already an alternative to just fucking around with JSP, or any other framework for that fucking matter. Dude tried....TRIED to implement design patterns in it and it failed on every single fucking component. Worst of all, it was coded in such a shit way that during certain...err...conditions, the bottleneck proved too massive of an ubdertaking and the app chokes and needs to be restarted ... constantly

their use cases for jquery are not bad, but loading all of jquery for the shit they mostly do could have been easily done with just standard vanilla JS.

I got more, but thede are just from the top of my head

I love php, mind you, but shit like this makes me see why some people GREATLY dislikes it.

I alsp have some old web forms in c# and vb net that I loathe, funny enough the code for thise in vb.net is more elegant, almost as if it were from a different developer.

new Promise(function (resolve, reject) {
self.getPaid(function (err, money) {
if(err) {
reject(err);
console.log("fml");
} else {
resolve(money);
console.log("fuck yeah!") ;
});
})
.then(resolve)
.catch(reject);

if (thingYouNeed.exists == false)
developer.make(thingYouNeed,
function(err,success) {
if(!err) thingYouNeed.exists = true;
})

Does anyone use working copy on iOS? If so how do you find it?

me: builds a python-script to transport data in .json-format into a config-file written in .xml for a coworker
my boss: "I am glad you have earned yourself a reputation as the 'programmer' in our team"

developer=new Developer({wantsTo:'learn/code node',tiredOf:'Java'});
try{
if(developer.applyFor(company.fullStackPosition)==='Success'){
deeloper.setLevel('Junior');
if(company.checkForJavaBackground(developer)){
javaProject.assign(developer);
developer.startCry();
developer.setLevel('Mid-high');
developer.getPaid():
developer.stopCry();
}
}
}catch(err){
console.log(err);
}

- Hopefully build and publish an app
- Find a partner

Google's "Mobile Friendly Test Tool" is shit.

It does its automated test's during it's index and points out that there are various issues with the page and IT IS NOT mobile friendly.

So I go and test the page in the Mobile test tool to see what other error's it's reporting and it comes back and says "This page IS mobile friendly".

Like WTF Google, make up your fucking goddamn mind and stop pissing me about.

Definitely Android 8.0 is neat.
And it's faster.
I think Android has developed a lot.
Isn't that right?

Can this week be over now(), it's been an absolute nightmare in terms of development. I just want to sleep.

Looking at learning C++, anyone got any useful tips, best practices & trusted sources?

Clock: Friday, 15:45 PM - just go home now, idiot!
My stupid ass: Makes substantial changes to the code I have been working on and breaks it.

It seems that Thing from Adams Family is the new spokes-err-hand for laptop sales these days...

Every laptop ad has a disembodied hand touching the screen.

1. getSomeData(params, ((err, data) => {
2. if(!err && data) {
3. try {
4. data = JSON.parse(data);
5. } catch(e) {
6. return null;
7. }
8. return data.someParam;
9. }
10.}

Nothing like bad practice in above code but I always feel that the line 4 should be replaced by below.

4. var result = JSON.parse(data);

and then use result variable to get data one is looking for, like below

8. return result ? result.someParam : null;

Your thoughts?

Got involved into a conversation/debate.

Said something as argument.

Opponent repeat with a 'yea' and plus what I just said as his argument naturally (amazing) and expect my response.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

Can anyone suggest a good TS based stack to use with electron? I'm (hopefully) looking to make an open source app

try{
If(!res || typeof res == undefined || res == undefined){}
}catch(err){
// you just had to throw an error
}

Fucking hell... If I knew that PHPStorm could display the same file over 2 screens/windows, I’d have used it sooner. 😡

It is a godsend though 🙂

Snapshot testing give me the chilliest of chills because for all that matters we have to assume once that what one's done is uttermostly correct

I mean to err is human right

So we are testing slack as our new messaging platform, it states that the platform has 10k searchable messages, does that mean that you can send unlimited messages with 10k searchable, or 10k messages total before you have to start paying?

Me to my peer: "Yo the code that they sent us works but it sucks and is insecure"
My peer: "Yo that sucks they should definitely change that, go submit a ticket so they change it up, that really sucks!"
Me: *prepares ticket, gets it checked by peer:
My peer: YOoOoO U cAnT tElL tHeM tO cHaNgE oR tElL tHeM hOw tO wRiTe tHeIr CoDe ThAt ThEy DeLiVeR tO uS!1!1!eleven
--
classics

imagine the guys in the datacenter are switching out power distribution units - and suddenly your productive database cluster reboots :)

A project where there was no templating at all and every page was independent of each other, it was that bad I started from scratch.

Had a debate with a colleague today over git commits, I had 24 outstanding and he had 15. We came up with a little game...

Who can create the most changes for a single commit. The winner is the one who can remember what each change was without looking at the changes.

Needlessly to say, we both lost 😂

Why is PHP PDO such a b*tch to work with?

One minute it says it’ll accept one query via one method for one insert but then deny the next query you give it, all because of “:” within bindParam()

It’s that time of year again... hope Marzipan is ready for public use 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

What's it like to be an ITSupport in a public healthcare facility where average employee age is 60y:

Doc: Hello. I can't make this thing work
IT: Hi. What thing? Please describe the problem
Doc: I have _this_ webpge [red.: ITSD knows what page] open but it's not loading anything. It just shows a spinning wheel
IT: I see. Can you hit F5?
Doc: err.. a what?
IT: A key on the keyboard. F5. It's at the top row of your keyboard, slightly left from the middle
Doc: <pause>
Doc: Found it. Okay, I clicked it. Nothing's changed
IT: Maybe the focus wasn't on the browser.. Anyway, can you close the window?
Doc: ...okay...
Doc: <rumble rumble>
Doc: <catching its breath> Okay, I closed it. But I won't have it closed the whole day, it's 27ºC inside.
IT: <facepalm>....

I’ve been programming with night mode on without realising, I can’t go back now 😂

There is nothing worse than trying to program while having RSI, it’s either you have your wrist support on and type slowly and hit multiple keys, or you have it off, type slowly and live with the pain

So I had to deal with this a while ago...

/ 86972915 On focus and write new text into dropdown when is saved /
change_field_to_update : function (name){
var context=this;
setTimeout(function(){
/*Protection */
try{
var field_path=context.state.editAttribute.field_path;
context.on_field_blur.bind(context, context.state.editAttribute);
/*Improve this */
$("#info_"+field_path).parent().find(".dx-texteditor-input").focus();$("#info_"+field_path).parent().find(".dx-texteditor-input").on("blur");
for(i=0; i<=1;i++){ $("#info_"+field_path).parent().find(".dx-texteditor-input").focus();$("#info_"+field_path).parent().find(".dx-texteditor-input").focusout();}
$("#info_"+field_path).parent().find(".dx-texteditor-input").focus();$("#info_"+field_path).parent().find(".dx-texteditor-input").focusout();$("#info_"+field_path).parent().find(".dx-texteditor-input").focusout();

}catch(err){

}

},2000);

Microsoft Edge might just become my main browser 🤔

WTF
npm ERR! publish Failed PUT 403
npm ERR! code E403
npm ERR! You cannot publish over the previously published versions: 1.1.69. : weschemajs

npm ERR! A complete log of this run can be found in:
npm ERR! /Users/lopu/.npm/_logs/2018-09-29T11_20_28_594Z-debug.log

npm ERR! code ELIFECYCLE
npm ERR! errno 1
npm ERR! wepublish@0.0.211 run: `./src/index.sh`
npm ERR! Exit status 1
npm ERR!
npm ERR! Failed at the wepublish@0.0.211 run script.
npm ERR! This is probably not a problem with npm. There is likely additional logging output above.

npm ERR! A complete log of this run can be found in:
npm ERR! /Users/lopu/.npm/_logs/2018-09-29T11_20_28_638Z-debug.log
lopu@lopu-pro:~/Dropbox/git/weyoume/wepublish/dev-wepublish$ npm view weschemajs version
1.1.63
lopu@lopu-pro:~/Dropbox/git/weyoume/wepublish/dev-wepublish$ npm view weschemajs version
1.1.63

So apparently in MySQL, 0 doesn’t always equal 0, sometimes it can be 1, or 2, or 3...

what the actual fuck?!?!

firstly, does anyone know of an online telegram or whatsapp group where i can ask silly stuff regarding web dev and get immediate answers, just like it is here?

secondly i am trying to learn js and there are just too many related terms that are messing with my brain:
"some features are supported ines5/es6/es15/es16/es17 , some are supported in chrome's v8/chakra/spidermonkey/android browser , some features are only supported in "serverside" and blocked in all browsers thanks to browser's vm environment; babel can't read this code, some features are provided only by node js..."
WHAT THE MESS IS THIS?

All i am trying to do is to write code that would make a website visible to everyone. if by specific browser , i want to target, chrome and its subsidaries and android chrome/other android browsers .
for other browsers am willing to make external converters later but don't want to change my code by 1 bit. And from what i know, each browser (at least the browsers am thinking of supporting) has the complete JS compilers already built in

can i or can i not built a complete functional website with those things?

and finally my main question : how to make custom exceptions in vanilla js? i saw this answer on stack overflow:
===================
function InvalidArgumentException(message) {
this.message = message;
// Use V8's native method if available, otherwise fallback
if ("captureStackTrace" in Error)
Error.captureStackTrace(this, InvalidArgumentException);
else
this.stack = (new Error()).stack;
}

InvalidArgumentException.prototype = Object.create(Error.prototype);
InvalidArgumentException.prototype.name = "InvalidArgumentException";
InvalidArgumentException.prototype.constructor = InvalidArgumentException;

Usage:

throw new InvalidArgumentException();
var err = new InvalidArgumentException("Not yet...");

=====================================

where is the error code? what would be the exception details? what is the line number/timestamp of error?why is that function making an error, i thought error/exception is a class in JS?

me.getgirlfriend()
.then((res)=>{console.log(res.msg)})
.catch((err)=>{console.log(err.msg)})

> Girlfriend not found

Why windows, surely running Linux would have been cheaper?

Err so i gave in and decided to set up my dev environment locally as opposed to cloud. Especially since I wanna do mobile stuff now.
But yeah. I had to revert to npm 4 for react native with sudo but now I literally can't npm install anything without sudo...

Should I be worried or carry on?

Sat on a bus heading home next to some guy who clearly hasn’t got knowledge of how to use a pair of fucking headphones and it sat playing a fucking game with the volume on loud, and all I can hear is the same fucking “whoosh, ping” noise fucking over and over again or he’s watching those shitty videos on Facebook

IT’S DOING MY FUCKING HEAD IN!!!!!! GET A PAIR FUCKING HEADPHONES OR MUTE YOUR FUCKING PHONE!!!!! NO-ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT SHIT!!!!!

Why can’t Windows search handle simple maths, Spotlight on macOS can.

That felling when you have 16 unstaged files 😨

So as part of my news years resolution, I thought id build an app and I thought I would build it in vue.js and native script with a shared codebase, I've started with a fresh project and already I have an error, one that I've not caused, this is in router.js. see if you can spot it.

module.exports = (api, options) => {
require('@vue/cli-plugin-router/generator')(api, {
historyMode: options.routerHistoryMode
};
export default new Router(options);
}

When I've fixed the syntax error, I then get, the error:

/src/router.js: 'import' and 'export' may only appear at the top level (5:0)

This is when I run "npm run serve:ios"

if anyone has encountered this, please let me know how you fixed this.

Why is the prettus repository package shit at handling mass inserts. The documentation says:

$this->repository->create(Input::all())

WTF does that even mean.

Trying to find a function I swear I had created to retrieve a set of counts from a database. Couldn’t find it. What I could find is the comment I had written with the function being completely overwritten with something entirely different.

I’m a complete fucking idiot and thank fuck for version control.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I need to stop programming until nearly 10pm. It cannot be healthy for the body.

Does anyone use OVH Public Cloud?

My first experience with a computer was actually sitting on my dad's lap and watching him play world of warcraft - and damn, that hit hard

Golang: It's stupid that the language doesn't allow the variable 'result' to be used out of the if scope, although it's been declared outside the if scope:
if result, err := foo(bar); err != nil {
// do something with err
}
// no err, so do something
// with result.
// But No! you can't.

Erm... I thought google was smart

Can any one recommend a good Go framework for APIs with a MongoDB ORM?

Was using Laravel 6/Lumen but it’s API ability is starting to piss me off with its CSRF crap, JWT/Passport implementation and a it’s lack of MongoDB support.

I don’t need any templating engines at all, its all handled by a SPA and Mobile Apps

So working from home due to UK Gov lockdown. iTunes on, and the perfect power anthem comes on... Productivity up 110%

Does anyone know the best local stack to use while building applications for AWS

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
- Paul R. Ehrlich -

Seems like a pretty cool dev community.. Some quality memes with code puns are always a crack(err)..

“ERR DAT” -Lifeline

I am a stupid monkey that spilled coffee all over his keyboard, and now it seems to be EOL.

Looking for some "inspiration" - what keyboards (and mice, might also just buy a whole new set) are you guys using?