Please don't make junior developers feel they're a burden.
Have you ever googled "how to mentor junior developers"? It's quite mind-blowing how many articles, talks and panels are on this topic. And yet still junior developers are not feeling welcomed in their companies.
Yup, you guessed it, we also have something to add (based on our own experience):

1. Asking for help is not easy. Please don't blow juniors off by telling them to read docs when they ask a question. Always assume they've read it and did a sprint to solve the problem. They ask you, because they see you as a mentor and really need your help. If you can, spend more time with them and guide through the entire problem solving process.

2. Please don't think "I learnt it this way so you should too". If you're in charge of teaching a junior developer, don't expect them to be a carbon copy of yourself. Because even though in your opinion your approach is more "pro", they might not be there yet to use it properly. And last, but not least:

3. Of course, juniors will compare themselves with seniors on their team. And there'll be moments they feel so guilty and so afraid that they cost the company too much, that they need training, and supervision, or are between projects and are not bringing in any money, and they'll fear that their company regrets hiring them. Make sure they don't feel like a burden. As juniors, we often
have this misconception what is expected from us.

Dear tech companies, please set very clear expectations and tell your juniors you're happy. Don't get us wrong here. We don't expect unicorns, roses and pats on the back from companies. We do understand- this is business, and at the end of the day we all are here to make money. To do so, companies need to make smart investments. Junior dev with a great assistance, planned support, and a clear training program will become a great asset. It really is as simple as that.

Fuck StackOverflow users who edit their question to include your answer.

Q: How to do X?
A: You need to init the Flufloxinator.

Q: How to do X? I've tried with a Flufloxinator but couldn't get it to work.
A: You need to init the Flufloxinator. Here's a fully working demo (pulled directly from the docs you clearly didn't read.)

Q: How to do X? Nevermind, I just had to init the Flufloxinator.

My first rant here, don't know how to start, but fuck these self proclaimed senior developers who can't even get their concepts right about basic things and don't believe in reading docs.

Fuck you for asking if sequelize has a method to return details of the logged in user of your app, it's a fucking ORM you dumbfuck. You are a "full stack" developer for fuck's sake.

Fuck you for making those "minor changes" which breaks build and then blame it on any random plugin or lib used, or my commits.

Fuck you for expecting me to review your code on Sundays because you couldn't finish it on time.

I don't like java, at all, but even I get that without it we wouldn't be where we are right now and can't reach where we aspire to reach. But you can't keep chanting "Java is dead, Java is dead" every chance you get. No, it's NOT dead. Nor is going to, anytime soon.

And for god's sake, please stop choosing one library/plugin over another just on the basis of stars on repo, it's not the only (or valid) criteria. Look if you actually even need it. Think.

And please learn how to google first, and also stop using "the" before every the noun, the adjective and the verb. It's the fucking the annoying to read.

And yes, there are different linting presets out there, and just because a piece of code in a plugin/library/boilerplate is not following your specific, and may I say horrible standard, doesn't mean it's a "bad code". It's written by people who have created/worked-on these libraries as side projects on which your entire career is based upon.

And I haven't even talked about the code you write or your domain knowledge or the way you treat other people. So get off your high horse and behave like a developer, a real one.

Okay i'm done - YOU FUCKING ANDROID STUDIO MORONS. Being at a high level in C++, I tried to do some android coding. THERE ARE FUCKING NO GOOD TUTORIALS, NO GOOD DOCS, HECK, THE SELF GENERATED CODE OF THE IDE IS WRONG: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON YOU FUCKING MORONS?
oh wait, let me first import android.widgets.rant;
or was it android.widgets.devrant.rant; or was it android.dr.rant.RantManager;?

Oh wait, I know lets search the docs?
OH WAIT THE DOCUMENTATION DOESNT HAVE THAT.
NOW HOW ABOUT I JUST TRY THE EXAMPLE CODE? WELL UH-UH! YOU HAVE TO FIND OUT YOURSELF WHAT TO IMPORT IN ORDER FOR IT TO WORK. ALSO, WHAT FUCKING UP WITH THAT PERMISSION SYSTEM? ITS SO BADLY DOCUMENTED!!!

Oh wait, I'm sure that I have to change something in this file... or was it that other file?

GOD
how dare they have style and design guidelines?
MORONS!

I will resort to implement my app idea in godot, idc anymore... I don't want to burn out because I used the "official high standard" tech.

it definitely isn't high standard and definitely not good. Thank you morons@google

THANK YOU FOR NOTHING

A FRAMEWORK WHERE I NEED 2 DAYS TO FIGURE OUT TO ADD EVENT LISTENERS TO MY THINGS IS DEFINITELY NOT ONE I'D LIKE TO USE.

also, whats up with

AudioRecord (int audioSource, int samplerateInHz, int channelConfig, int audioFormat, int bufferSizeInBytes);

ARE WE BACK IN THE C ERA? CAN'T YOU BE BOTHERED TO IMPLEMENT SOME SIMPLE FUCKING ENUMS????

WHATS THE POINT OF AN OOP LANGUAGE IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE IT LIKE C?

Oh wait I found a tutorial ... First trigger: "java scripts". Second trigger: this guy LITTERALLY ONLY TEACHES YOU HOW TO PLACE WIDGETS ON THE CANVAS. THANKS FOR NOTHING SHERLOCK!

Oh btw: did you know that android studio gives the best error messages?
"Error: illegal start of expression"
NO ERROR MESSAGE - NOTHING!
YOU BETTER USE THE IDE OR YOU GO HOME YOU FUCKER!!!

Oh and btw: if you want to read the best documentation - the code itself YOU GOTTA AGREE TO OR TERMS OF SERVICE!!!! WE DONT WANT ANYBODY TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL WITHOUT US KNOWING!!!!!

THANK YOU GOOGLE FOR NOTHING!
YOU FUCKERS!

thanks godot for *atleast* existing. You are the... last pick i'd pick, but :shrug:, I have experienced android studio now.

If anybody has any advice on what to use instead, please go ahead. And you better not tell me how good you are at android studio. I DONT CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN IMPLEMENT IN ANDROID STUDIO. I JUST WANT SOMETHING THAT IS USABLE WITHOUT HAVING TO BE EXTRA CAREFUL WHEN DOING *ANYTHING*!!!!

fuckers.

I find it super annoying, this trend where no one wants to write learning documentation anymore, but instead put up a bunch of demo videos and video "training courses."

I don't want to spend 5 minutes watching you do something that would take me 10 seconds to read. I can't search for terms in your video, and I can't use them as a general reference manual. I can't go at my own pace, easily keep my place between devices, enter code as you go, the list of cons goes on and on.

I would rather pay you money for a good eBook (and no, PDFs don't count), than to have the only realistic way to learn about your software be a playlist on your YouTube channel.

This, however, this...

Went to check out Ansible again, because I've heard good things lately and it's been a couple years since I've looked at it.

Took me a while to find their docs because there's almost no mention of anything on the home page except trying Tower for free.

Found the docs. The first item there is the Quick Start Video and I think, "Cool. That's a good use of video, showing off the product."

I dig out some headphones, click play:

"Ansible is a powerful" BOOM!

Enter my email to watch the video?!

Ah, forget it. Maybe I'll see you next time, Ansible.

The reason why I changed my username ( I'll just be honest here )

I was working on a website. I noticed that entries were submitting yesterday but today new entries were not showing up on database. It was like my database refused to insert new rows but there was no new error in log. I kept trying for almost half an hour, read all the answers on stackoverflow, read docs, tried different methods. Nothing worked. I was fucked up. Completely fucked up.

In frustration, I just stared my database for 10 mins without a single blink, and then I noticed this thing 'showing 25 out of 78 rows'
(-_-)
I clicked on 'show all'

AAAAAAND

I felt retarded.

Okay I can give an excuse that last time I saw a database was a year ago, but still.. how retarded you need to be to not see this FUCKIN 'SHOW ALL' when it is on the TOP of the FUCKIN TABLE!!

Admin work, because its all manual:

- Each new project has to fill out an Excel tab in a workbook, with a list of all the major tasks and who is responsible. This then needs to be used to create a Gantt chart, manually, in the same tab, showing in what month a task starts and ends.

- Every month we have to manually enter status updates into a powerpoint slide on a shared deck. Which has a collision at least once per month.

- Once a quarter we need to do something similar as the powerpoint slides, but into a word doc instead.

- Once a week we need to track our time on projects in a tool that can't be integrated with (no API or anything). Meaning we can't link up a ticket tracking system to it, so again, all manual.

- Once every 6 months a new round of research funding opens up and we write proposals. The status for which are tracked in another Excel spreadsheet, manually, once a week until the deadline.

- The instructions for what to do with the proposals are so vague and badly documented that there is an unwritten rule, that for the first time you will have to ask a bunch of questions to the project manager. This is accepted by everyone and its just the done thing.

- Everything is stored in a dropbox style system, which has become so cluttered I can only find resources by saving the links sent out previously.

- Some of these updates / reports also get a 1 hour meeting for everyone to stand up and read out what they've entered.

- From time to time random things will need to be reported on to the higher ups (how many publications, research papers, patents, times and dates etc.). Again rather than a tool, a new Excel spreadsheet is whipped up and emailed to everyone on the team. Whoever sent it out, then has to merge the 20+ copies into 1 doc.

- Some of the staff (mostly the devs), use a ticket tracking system to keep track of everything. Management refuse to use it to track the things they need. Instead we have to copy paste from it into the word docs, powerpoint, excel etc.

- By far the most annoying. Management force all the above as they need the info for finance, accounting, legal etc etc. So we have to do it, but whenever there is a question from legal, management send the question to us. So despite having documented every facet of everything imaginable, it all gets ignored in favour of endless emails.

I once tried to to put an end to all of this madness by proposing the use of a ticket tracking system, and then building reporting tools on top of it.

... I was told that it "wasn't appropriate". Still don't know what that means.

A couple of goodies here:

1 - The guy that said 'I prefer to work remote so noone can bother me. I will never answer my phone if you try to call me, and emails will only be read the second I arrive at work and never again. Do not disturb me at all. I decided not to bother him again with another interview request.

2- I personally interviewed at a gaming company in Dundee, Scotland and they wanted me to create a JS application, on video call to them, on Google Docs, and that they had set aside 3 hours for this whilst they watched me and ate lunch. I apologised, said that was the most absurd thing I've ever heard of, and cancelled the interview and hung up without saying bye.

How the fuck can any sort of developer think that's okay to try to make people do?

Well I've been at a new company for the last 6 months now, and I've just discovered that job is still being advertised.

Ooh this is good.

At my first job, i was hired as a c++ developer. The task seemed easy enough, it was a research and the previous developer died, leaving behind a lot of documentation and some legacy fortran code. Now you might not know, but fortran can be really easily converted to c, and then refactored to c++.

Fine, time to read the docs. The research was on pollen levels, cant really tell more. Mostly advanced maths. I dug through 500+ pages of algebra just to realize, theres no way this would ever work. Okay dont panic, im a data analyst, i can handle this.

Lets take a look at the fortran code, maybe that makes more sense. Turns out it had nothing to do with the task. It looped through some external data i couldnt find anywhere and thats it. Yay.

So i exported everything we had to a csv file, wrote a java program to apply linefit with linear regression and filter out the bad records. After that i spent 2 days in a hot server room, hoping that the old intel xeon wouldnt break down from sending java outputs directly to haskell, but it held on its own.

A big FUCK YOU to chrome, and a big FUCK YOU to google in generally. First the hell that is code.org, then the chrome. I genuinely want to open a dictionary in google to see if the word "privacy" is in there. Sure, first it was tracking users with by making them agree to a long ass TOS no one wants to read except lawyers, then barely even giving any info and asking for consent with YOUR data, but this is too far. For all you that dont know, LanSchool is an application that allows teachers to see students screens, internet history and more. Its the reason kids can't play games in English class. But most importantly, its a chrome extension. We have to do assignments from home right? So when we logon to the school account from home, LANSCHOOL GETS DOWNLOADED ANYRACKS EVERYTHING I DO. It pains me how teachers can view so much information unfairly because of some unknowing students, my friends privacy was unfairly in the hands of google and the school system. Right when I found out about tit (~2 mins after i first logged on) i made an Ubuntu VM just for goddamn google docs. Back to my friend, he went on some websites not to be considered appropriate, and got in huge trouble. He was completely unaware of the fact that they could see his screen, and I resent google for allowing a third party to manipulate my PERSONAL COMPUTER without my consent. Die google, you ruined android, which had so much potential, and now the web and virtual privacy. You should be <strike>ashamed</strike> dead, and I hope in the future you realize that one day people will have common sense.

How I discovered I was a developer:

The company had hired a pair of computer science graduates and we had been commissioned to build a magento store. Weeks went buy with limited progress, and missing functionality was met with protestations from the devs about unreasonable demands.

At this time I had been taken on as a designer / casual front end developer (though the focus was on design). I knew HTML, CSS and some very limited php and js.

We were severely over deadline, and seeing the desperation on people's faces I suggested looking into it.

I read the magento docs, got an install up an running, configured an installed plugins, integrated the theme using the complex multilevelled XML/phtml architecture magento uses and even got some of the more complex js functionality working using JavaScript.

In two weeks.

I'm now the lead developer

Preface: i'm pretty... definitely wasted. rum is amazing.

anyway, I spent today fighting with ActionCable. but as per usu, here's the rant's backstory:

I spent two or three days fighting with ActionCable a few weeks ago. idr how long because I had a 102*f fever at the time, but I managed to write a chat client frontend in React that hooked up to API Guy's copypasta backend. (He literally just copy/pasted it from a chat app tutorial. gg). My code wasn't great, but it did most of what it needed to do. It set up a websocket, had listeners for the various events, connected to the ActionCable server and channel, and wrote out updates to the DOM as they came in. It worked pretty well.

Back to the present!

I spent today trying to get the rest to work, which basically amounted to just fetching historical messages from the server. Turns out that's actually really hard to do, especially when THE FKING OFFICIAL DOCUMENTATION'S EXAMPLES ARE WRONG! Seriously, that crap has scoping and (coffeescript) syntax errors; it doesn't even run. but I didn't know that until the end, because seriously, who posts broken code on official docs? ugh! I spent five hours torturing my code in an effort to get it to work (plus however many more back when I had a fever), only to discover that the examples themselves are broken. No wonder I never got it working!

So, I rooted around for more tutorials or blogs or anything else with functional sample code. Basically every example out there is the same goddamn chat app tutorial with their own commentary. Remember that copy/paste? yeah, that's the one. Still pissed off about that. Also: that tutorial doesn't fetch history, or do anything other than the most basic functionality that I had already written. Totally useless to me.

After quite a bit of searching, the only semi-decent resource I was able to find was a blog from 2015 that's entirely written in Japanese. No, I can't read more than a handful of words, but I've been using it as a reference because its code is seriously more helpful than what's on official Rails docs. -_-

Still never got it to work, though. but after those five futile hours of fighting with the same crap, I sort of gave up and did something else.

zzz.

Anyway.
The moral of the story is that if you publish broken code examples beacuse you didn't even fking bother to test them first, some extremely pissed off and vindictive and fashionable developer will totally waterboard the hell out of you for the cumulative total of her wasted development time because screw you and your goddamn laziness.

If I died, I would have one regret.

I once worked in a code base whose messiness would make an oil spill in the fucking pacific ocean look like spilled milk on the floor in comparison.

Naturally, it had bugs. Oh BOY did it have bugs. Most of them were taken care of well enough. Or about as well as anyone insane enough to work in that code could.

There was just this one bug, which I still (un)fondly call "my bug of 2 years". It. Just. Didn't. Make. Sense.

It was written in JavaScript. Naturally. Which by itself, is the metaphorical programming language equivalent of a pile of horse manure. But this bug. It was the guano icing on top of the horse manure cake which is JavaScript.

I LITERALLY spent 2 years trying to find a solution. I woke up at night, thinking of explanations. I had dreams about fixing the damn thing. And I never did.

On the day I left the job, I had to pass it on to a friend (who hasn't solved the fucker yet either).

I hated that bug with all my heart. But..

Now that I think back, all the books I read, all the docs that I scoured, every non working fix I coded and every failed efforts I made on it, eventually made me a better programmer.

So cherish your bugs and issues. Sometimes, they come, not to hurt you, but to help you grow (unless you use JS, those bugs just wanna fuck you).

Do you know what is world needs?

Good fucking tutorials for all programming languages.

Every time I want to learn a language it's a fucking mess. Tutorial here, tutorial there. Read the docs, it's fucking outdated. This person using this design, that person using that.

I am so tired of this shit.

also, for a simple example most website uses some complex architecture, something they think is the next thing.

Even searching for a simple QT singleton pattern gives me a webpage from QT Wiki which uses templates, typedefs and this shits to just show a FUCKING EXAMPLE OF THREAD SAFE SINGLETON.

I really wish there's was a greater platform for this. A platform that follows some certain standard rules for tutorials.

Me: My site doesn't validate for AMP because of some JavaScript the app performance measurement tool inserts into every post.

Support: Do the thing.

Me: I know, but how?

Support: Read the docs.

Me: All it says is "do the thing". But it doesn't state how.

Support: So, do the thing.

Vuejs is great. I havent read any of the docs, only the first part of how to make components, and pretty sure i just hackes shit together but i now have a working site. It just speeds everything up, unlike fucking angular lol.

Why don't devs read the fucking docs?

Time and time again I find my coworkers inventing new ways of doing stuff that could easily be done with existing features.

Today I saw this on a code review (functions are from lodash):

head(filter(...))

That's what fucking `find` does, you dense motherfucker!

This is just a tiny example. I've seen so much of this shit. Sometimes it's almost art how they find ways to solve problems without actually reading the docs.

If nobody hates you, you're doing something wrong ~ House MD

Tl;Dr : I'm pissing the right people off and my God I like it

That's what I've known and have confirmed doing my current side project with my gf, we are working on a ratemyprofessors clone with extra spicy features, one in particular is so spicy some teachers will be put in a position in which they would rather grind hot peppers with their butt cheeks.

Don't get me wrong, there are good teachers (some of which actually showed support) but some are not good teachers and some aren't good people either; I've decided it's time to stop complaining and take action.

We recently released an alpha and I presented it to a teacher I had this semester (one of the "not so great" kind) as a DB proyect cuz fuck it I'm not doing 2 projects.

This teacher is your run of the mill "I'm lazy and I don't care" teacher and she ran the classroom like a shitty kindergarten, so much so, one of the teams was presenting a buggy admin site as their project and she started talking on the phone! Right up on their faces!!

My turn, I go up and handle her a 30 page printed thesis of my project and said that unlike my mates, I was going to start presenting the idea and then the actual software...why is it printed?, She said; Because I won't be projecting the PDF ma'am, I actually made a professional presentation and that way you can read more technical details while I give a broad overview...

I started talking about the huge issues students face and my research about it, undisciplined teachers, no class structure ~ abrupt interruption ~ "yeah I know like, you are giving so much statistics and numbahs but where is the database?"

I got pissed off because the whole purpose of printing and giving her the docs was for her to ask specific questions AT THE END! So I told her I was getting there and to ask questions at the end...I start showing off the system's sweetest features... everyone got quiet...a girl on the front row kept looking at the teacher and then back to the board with her eyes wide open, the teacher was visibly upset.

I asked someone to please help me by using the site being projected for everyone to see, he searched the teacher's name and it obviously popped up cuz I scrapped the whole teacher index site... some people gasp and others start murmuring.

She freaked and started arguing saying that frontend can't be just HTML and CSS, where did you mentioned x and y feature? admit it's just teacher evaluations! where did you get the teacher names? I want the scripts!....it went on even 10 minutes after class and the next class with a police like interrogation.

So yeah, something tells me I'm not getting an A, but I'm happy after all because that's the kind of reaction I want from those types of professors.

Worth it 😎

I fucking hate chained methods. Ok, not all of them. Query things like array.where.first... that stuff is ok.

Specially if it's part of the std lib of a lang, which would be probably written by a very competent coder and under scrutiny.
But if you're not that person, chances are you'll produce VASTLY inferior code.

I'm talking about things like:
expect(n).to.be(x).and.not(y)

And the reason I don't like it is because it's all fine and dandy at first.

But once you get to the corner cases, jesus christ, prepare to read some docpages.

You end up reading their entire fucking docs (which are suboptimal sometimes) trying to figure if this fucking dsl can do what you need.

Then you give up and ask in a github issue. And the dev first condescends you and then tells you that the beautiful eden of code he created doesn't let you do what you want.

The corner cases usually involve nesting or some very specific condition, albeit reasonable.

This kind of design is usually present in testing or validation js libraries. And I hate all of those for it.

If you want a modern js testing lib that doesn't suck ass, check avajs. It's as simple as testing should be.

No magic globals, no chaining, zero config. Fuck globals forced by libs.

But my favorite thing about it that is I can put a breakpoint wherever the fuck I want and the debugger stops right fucking there.

Code is basically lines of statements, that's it, and by overusing chaining, by encouraging the grouping of dozens of statements into one, you are preventing me from controlling these statements on MY code.

As an end dev, I only expect complexity increases to come from the problems themselves rather than from needlessly "beautified" apis.

When people create their own shitty dsl, an image comes to my mind of an incoherent rambling man that likes poetry a lot and creates his own martial art, which looks pretty but will get your ass kicked against the most basic styles of fighting.

I fucking hate esoteric code.

Even if I had to execute a list of functions, I'd rather send them in an array instead of being able to chain them because:
a) tree shaking would spare from all the functions i didn't import
b) that's what fucking arrays are for, to contain several things.

This bad style of coding is a result of how low the barrier to code in higher level langs are.

As a language or library gets easier to use you might think that's a positive thing. But at the same time it breeds laziness.

Js has such a low learning curve that it attacts the wrong kind of devs, the lazy, the uninspired, the medium.com reader, the "i just care about my paycheck" ones.

Someone might think that by bashing bad js devs I'm trying to elevate myself.

That'd be extremely stupid. That's like beating a retarded blind man in a game and then saying "look, I'm way better than this retarded blind man".

I'm not on a risky point of view, just take a stroll down npmjs.com. That place is a landfill. Not really npm's fault, in fact their search algorithm is good.

It's just the community.

Every lang has a ratio of competence. Of competent to incompetent devs.

You have the lang devs and most intelligent lib devs at the top. At the bottom you have the bottom.

Well js has a horrible ratio. I wouldn't be shocked to find out that most js devs still consider using import or await the future.

You could say that js improved a lot, that it was way worse beforr. But I hate chaining now, and i hated back then!

On top of this, you have these blog web companies, sucking the "js tutorial" business tit dry, pumping out the most obscenely unprofessional and bar lowering tutorials you can imagine, further capping the average intelligence of most js devs.

And abusing SEO while they're at it, littering the entire web with copy paste content.

Here's one that involves Windows, Linux (at the same time!), WInZip, Python, Lua and Minecraft, sort of.

So, when I get depressed I often find that old 2011 Minecraft videos help a lot from the nostalgia boost. If its stupid, but it works, it isn't stupid. Anyways, I was thinking about how much fun it must have been to just fuck around with code and make something like Minecraft. Naturally, I got a huge code boner and really wanted to do something I hadn't in a while: binding c to a higher level language.

This time around, I wanted to try Python. C + Python seems like a good pair. I watched a tutorial and it seemed pretty interesting and simple enough but I remembered that I actually like Lua a lot better than Python, so I went to the download page of Lua.

The download is a tar.gz so I let out a sigh and start typing "WinZip" into google. But no, fuck that, I hate 3rd party decompression programs on Windows. They all just give me this eerie feeling.

"This would be so much fucking easier on Linux"...

I remember that I haven't tried the Windows Subsystem for Linux. I guess it's time, isn't it?

I read the docs of how to do it. Nice little touch, they tell you how to enable WSL from PowerShell but don't mention the GUI way to do it. It's genuinely a nice touch.

So I get everything installed and go to the app store to choose a distro. I want Ubuntu. I click the Install button...

...

... "Something unexpected happened"

Windows and their fucking useless error messages. Jesus, okay. I restart computer. Same issue. I update Windows. Same thing. Uninstall WSL. Reboot. Install WSL. Reboot. Same thing. HOLY SHIT.

Went to bed. Woke up. Tried to install Ubuntu.

"Yea ok lul i'll work this time for no reason"

Finally unzipped Lua.

I have a new motto to life:

"Just read the docs."

*BOOM*

The life of a dyslexic developer is hard sometimes. Today really got me though when I was reading some developer docs and an example said:

.title = "testtitle"

For the next two minutes I was very puzzled and confused because I read it as "testicle"

I'm getting more and more triggered by my colleagues overusing words in seemingly random fashion.

The word 'perspective' comes up at least 6 times during a meeting, from an x perspective, from a y perspective. It would be fine in a design meeting but it's used _so fucking much_ I cringe every time I hear it.

Another one is 'standard', that gets put in front of every word nowadays, standard process, standard protocol, standard machine, standard pipeline. What does it mean? No clue, what does it add? Nothing.

'Please put this add the standard location.'

Where?

'The default one'

What?!

I remove it from documentation every chance I get.

Furthermore, some documentation changes make small pieces of information super long. A nice summary list of features? Make it at least 3 sentences for every bullet point. 1-sentence info with a reference link to more info? Scratch that let's include all information in that reference paragraph anyway. Sometimes they even expand English expressions for no reason, making them longer and harder to read.

WHYYYY

We always complain about shit documentation and yet we're oblivious to the fact that our own docs are so bloated. Stop repeating information, stop using useless adjectives, just put it all in 1 sentence and add dozens of code examples. One piece of code says more than a billion words.

I'm not innocent either. As a teen I was great at writing long pieces of text that seemed like a great read but were actually way too bloated for the information I needed to convey. It was great for reaching word limits.

Now I'm trying my absolute best to be as concise and to-the-point as possible because I know that nobody likes reading and people just want the information that they're looking for.

Even this rant is overly long, but thank god that it's just a rant and I can let off some steam.

Btw same thing goes for diagrams, too many icons, too much text, too many lines. When I try to submit a clean-as-fuck diagram I get asked to add more info/features to which I say No, we're already at the max.

I even got a PR for review that made some changes to add unnecessary information, I pointed it out and never heard anything from them again. I rejected the PR, and never saw a new one.

* Sigh *

It's just so strange to me, it's never clear to me why these things happen. I'm too much of a coward to point these things out unless they endanger the quality of the product. But maybe they just need somebody to tell it to them.

Lessons I've learnt so far on programming

-- Your best written code today can be your worst tomorrow (Focus more on optimisation than style).
-- Having zero knowledge of a language then watching video tutorials is like purchasing an arsenal before knowing what a gun is (Read the docs instead).
-- It's works on my machine! Yes, because you built on Lenovo G-force but never considered the testers running on Intel Pentium 0.001 (Always consider low end devices).
-- "Programming" is you telling a story and without adding "comments" you just wrote a whole novel having no punctuation marks (Always add comments, you will thank yourself later for it I promise).
-- In programming there is nothing like "done"! You only have "in progress" or "abandoned" (Deploy progressively).
-- If at this point you still don't know how to make an asynchronous call in your favourite language, then you are still a rookie! take that from me. (Asynchronous operation is a key feature in programming that every coder should know).
-- If it's more than two conditions use "Switch... case" else stick with "If... else" (Readability should never be under-rated).
-- Code editors can MAKE YOU and BREAK YOU. They have great impact on your coding style and delivery time (Choose editors wisely).
-- Always resist the temptation of writing the whole project from scratch unless needs be (Favor patching to re-creation).
-- Helper methods reduces code redundancy by a large chunk (Always have a class in your project with helper methods).
-- There is something called git (Always make backups).
-- If you don't feel the soothing joy that comes in fixing a bug then "programming" is a no-no (Coding is fun only when it works).
-- Get angry with the bugs not the testers they're only noble messengers (Bugs are your true enemy).
-- You would learn more than a lot reading the codes of others and I mean a lot! (Code review promotes optimisation and let's you know when you are writing macaroni).
-- If you can do it without a framework you have yourself a big fat plus (Frameworks make you entirely dependent).
-- Treat your code like your pet, stop taking care of it and it dies! (Codes are fragile and needs regular updates to stay relevant).

Programming is nothing but fun and I've learnt that a long time ago.

Dear fellow project member,

I agree that most code should explain itself, but if you need to use a certain method which requires you to pass several different values of the same type and you just pass values as you like and then get, as you like to call it, 'unexpected behavior', then that is YOUR F***ING PROBLEM.

I DO know your thoughts about documenting code and I DO know you think documenting code only delays the progress, but if you for once could please CHECK THE DOCUMENTATION I WROTE, there would be no need to message me EVERY FIVE BLOODY MINUTES to complain about something that actually works when used right, just because you are too lazy to read the docs!

If you would do that next time, at least the time i spend writing documentation for our project would not be COMPLETELY WASTED! 😤

Kind Regards

Central team: No, your team must be doing something wrong. Our pipeline is super-configurable and works for any situation! You just have to read the docs!

Me: Where are the docs?

Central team: Uhh, well, umm... we'll hook you up with a CI/CD coach!

Me: Okay, cool. In the mean time, can you point me at the repo where all the base scripts are?

Central team: Sure, it's here.

Me, some weeks later: Yeah, uhh, the coach can't seem to figure out how to make our Prod deployment work either.

Central team: That's impossible! It's so easy and completely configurable!

Me: Well, okay... but, here's the thing: your pipeline IS pretty "configurable", in the sense that you look for A LOT of variables...

Central team: See! We told you!

Me: ...none of which are actually documented, so they're just about useless to me...

Central team: But, but the coach...

Me: ...couldn't make heads or taisl of it either despite him literally being ON YOUR TEAM...

Central team: Then your project must just be architected wrong!

Me: Well, we're not perfect, so could be...

Central team: Right!

Me: ...but I think it's far more likely that the scripts... you know, the ACTUAL Python scripts the pipeline executes... while it took me DAYS to get through all your levels of abstraction and indirection and, well, BULLSHIT... it turns out they are incredibly NOT flexible. They do one thing, all the time, basically disregarding any flexibility in the pipeline. So, yeah, I'm thinking this is probably one of this "it's you, not me" deals.

Central team: Waaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

!rant
if you're someone who grades code, fuck you, you probably suck. Turned in a final project for this gis software construction class as a part of my master's degree (this class was fuck all easy, I had two weeks for each project, each of them took me two days). We had to pick the last project, so I submitted final project proposal that performs a two-sample KS test on some point data. Not complex, but it sounds fancy, project accepted. Easy money.

I write the thing and finish it, it works, but it doesn't have a visualization and that makes the results seem pretty lame, even though its fully functional. SO I GO OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY to add a matplotlib chart of the distribution. To do that, at the very bottom of the workflow, I define a function to chart it out because it made the code way more readable. Reminder, I didn't have to do this, it was extra work to make my code more functional.

Then, this motherfucker takes points off because I didn't define the function at the very beginning of the code... THE FUCK, DUDE? But, noobrants, it's "considered best prac--" nope, fuck you, okay? This class was so shit, not once was code style addressed in a lesson or put on any rubric - they didn't give a shit what it looked like - in fact, the whole class only used arcpy (and the csv mod once), they didn't teach us shit about anything except how to write geoprocessing scripts (in other words, how to read arcGIS docs about arcpy) and encouraged us to write in fucking pythonwin. And now, when the class is fucking over, you decide to just randomly toss this shit in, like it was a specific expectation this whole time? AND you do this when someone has gone out of their way to add functionality? Why punish someone who does extra work because that extra work isn't perfect? Literally, my grade would have been better without the visualization.

I'm not even mad at my grade - it was fine - I just hate inconsistency in grading practices and the random raising and lowering of expectations depending on how some grader's coffee tasted that morning. I also hate punishing people for doing more - it's this kind of shit that makes people A) wanna rip their eyeballs out, and B) never do anything more than the basic minimum expectation to avoid extra unwanted attention. If you want your coders to step up and actually put work in to make things the best they can be, yell at a grader to reward extra work and not punish it.

Shit guys, I cannot even begin to tell you about how tired I am at seeing gifs at every single.fucking frontend article. I cannot enter a single Medium/Dev.to without it being plastered in the most random fucking gifs you have ever seen.

Its bad enough that your average Medium/Dev.to is as shallow as the little puddle you spill on the floor after watering your cactus. With the added gifs, it just sucks so bad. I mean, who's fucking idea was it to plaster reading material with distracting content anyway? I wanna hunt them down and shove something right up their arses.

Back in uni when I started dabbing into frontend, my feeble brain thought it was quite refreshing after peering over java docs every day. Nowadays though, I cannot even manage to read these mostly shitty arse articles without wishing I was dead.

Also, I wonder if this is also the case for the java, .net, python, rust community?

I fucking hate corporate environment. We have a weekly meeting in our tech department where a team is chosen at random to present the project they're working on, architecture and such. You know what? We have fucking documents, for both product scope and technical architecture. If you're interested in our work, go fucking read our docs. If you have a question, slack us or send us a fucking email. Why the fuck do I have to attend a 1-hour meeting every week for this bullshit. Oh and some dude from upper management has a brilliant idea: from today they decide to host 2 such meetings per week, 1 within the tech department, and another within the whole company. So we had to attend the same fucking meeting twice in 1 week!!! Fucking genius!
I'm so fucking tired of these meaningless meetings, but attendance is recommended because "this is how you reach staff level" as they told me. Fucking bullshit. I may try a few more years for the sake of financial stability, and then find a small shop where people just leave me the fuck alone with my codes.

Image relevant.

Tried getting puter to talk, puter no want to talk.
Me sad.
Me tell puter to stay put and listen at 4444.

External device doesn't do shit.
Me sad.

Read the docs. Nothing. Written like a 5 year old would.

Be angry, how do I put external device into tcp/ip mode? No one knows, the docs don't know.

I get frustrated and pull the USB cable out of it.
Mfw it starts spitting out requests to my server with no end in sight.

Mfw the requests all just repeat.
Mfw the docs tell me to acknowledge a request I have to respond with a content type of
"application/x-www-form-urlencoded"
How.

Not possible.
Mfw I decide to dissect a request to check it's accept header.

Mfw it says text/plain.
Great, no idea in what format the thing expects it.

Try writing out query string plainly.

It fucking works.

Why can't people just learn to write proper documentation.

I feel like I beat "the man"

Dunno if any of you guys have picked up on this, but the Microsoft Docs (for asp.net) are basically one big fucking jumbotron advertisement for IdentityServer

The very same IdentityServer who dropped their free, open-source project and turned into an -aaS

It really seems like MS is frothing at the fucking mouth to have you use IdentityServer and offers no real alternatives whatsoever besides something like Facebook or Twitter login.

But I did my studies

Read my articles

And implemented proper Jwt tokens with rolling refresh tokens.

Simpler, more efficient, and compromises nothing. And I didn't pass my money off to some company to do it for me.

Fuck you, Microsoft, and the IdentityHorse you were paid to ride in on.

After drilling yourself with links and resources, documentation and cant execute what you want. You leave it.

Some time later you go back and you are like why the hell didnt I understand this it's so simple :/ and it literally says what to do.

This is when I became a calm developer. Don't rush yourself. If you want to quickly do something. READ dont just look 🙃

Also, don't persist with understand the official docs. The third party explanations will show you flames 80% of the times if you are learning something new.

Code = play games
Watch a tutorial = watch a movie
Read docs = read a novel

So I end up being scolded for never studying for my academics and just having fun all the time

These ignorant comments about arch are starting to get on my nerves.

You ranted or asked help about something exclusive to windows and someone pointed out they don't have that problem in arch and now you're annoyed?

Well maybe it's for good.

Next comes a very rough analogy, but imagine if someone posts "hey guys, I did a kg of coke and feeling bad, how do I detox?"

It takes one honest asshole to be like "well what if you didn't do coke?".

Replace the coke with windows.
Windows is a (mostly) closed source operating system owned by a for profit company with a very shady legal and ethical history.

What on earth could possibly go wrong?

Oh you get bsod's?
The system takes hours to update whenever the hell it wants, forces reboot and you can't stop it?
oh you got hacked because it has thousands of vulnerabilities?
wannacry on outdated windows versions paralyzed the uk health system?

oh no one can truly scrutinize it because it's closed source?

yet you wonder why people are assholes when you mention it? This thing is fucking cancer, it's hundreds of steps backwards in terms of human progress.

and one of the causes for its widespread usage are the savage marketing tactics they practiced early on. just google that shit up.

but no, linux users are assholes out to get you.

and how do people react to these honest comments? "let's make a meme out of it. let's deligitimize linux, linux users and devs are a bunch of neckbeards, end of story, watch this video of rms eating skin off his foot on a live conference"

short minded idiots.

I'm not gonna deny the challenges or limitations linux represents for the end user.

It does take time to learn how to use it properly.
Nvidia sometimes works like shit.
Tweaking is almost universally required.
A huge amount of games, or Adobe/Office/X products are not compatible.
The docs can be very obscure sometimes (I for one hate a couple of manpages)

But you get a system that:
* Boots way faster
* Is way more stable
* Is way way way more secure.
* Is accountable, as in, no chance to being forced to get exploited by some evil marketing shit.

In other words, you're fucking free.
You can even create your own version of the system, with total control of it, even profit with it.

I'm not sure the average end user cares about this, but this is a developer forum, so I think in all honesty every developer owes open source OS' (linux, freebsd, etc) major respect for being free and not being corporate horseshit.

Doctors have a hippocratic oath? Well maybe devs should have some form of oath too, some sworn commitment that they will try to improve society.

I do have some sympathy for the people that are forced to use windows, even though they know ideally isn't the ideal moral choice.
As in, their job forces it, or they don't have time or energy to learn an alternative.

At the very least, if you don't know what you're talking about, just stfu and read.

But I don't have one bit of sympathy for the rest.

I didn't even talk about arch itself.
Holy fucking shit, these people that think arch is too complicated.

What in the actual fuck.

I know what the problem is, the arch install instructions aren't copy paste commands.
Or they medium tutorial they found is outdated.

So yeah, the majority of the dev community is either too dumb or has very strong ADD to CAREFULLY and PATIENTLY read through the instructions.

I'll be honest, I wouldn't expect a freshman to follow the arch install guide and not get confused several times.
But this is an intermediate level (not megaexpert like some retards out there imply).

Yet arch is just too much. That's like saying "omg building a small airplane is sooooo complicated". Yeah well it's a fucking aerial vehicle. It's going to be a bit tough. But it's nowhere near as difficult as building a 747.

So because some devs are too dumb and talk shit, they just set the bar too low.

Or "if you try to learn how to build a plane you'll grow an aviator neckbeard". I'll grow a fucking beard if I want too.

I'm so thankful for arch because it has a great compromise between control and ease of install and use.

When I have a fresh install I only get *just* what I fucking need, no extra bullshit, no extra programs I know nothing about or need running on boot time, and that's how I boot way faster that ubuntu (which is way faster than windows already).

Configuring nvidia optimus was a major pain in the ass? Sure was, but I got it work the way I wanted to after some time.

Upgrading is also easy as pie, so really scratching my brain here trying to understand the real difficult of using arch.

Beginning my Angular journey. I'll meet you all on the other side of the rabbit hole.

TourOfHeroes, here I come

Around 6 years ago I started at this company. I was really excited, I read all their docs then I started coding. At every code review, I noticed something was a little off. I seemed to get lots of weird nitpicking about code styling. It was strange, I was using a linter, I read their rules but basically every review was filled with random comments. About 3 months in I noticed, "oh! there aren't actually any rules, people are debating them in my code reviews!" A few more reviews went by and then I commented, "ya I'm not doing any of this, code review isn't a place to have philosophical debates." All hell broke loose! I got a few pissed off developers, and I said, listen I don't care what the rules are, you just need to clearly fucking articulate them and if you want to introduce one, I don't care about that either just don't do it in the middle of my review. I pissed off 1 dev real bad. Me and this dev were working together, the QA person on the team stood up and said "hey! you know what I love about your code reviews?!" The other dev and myself looked at each other kind of nervously, "I love that you're both right, these are all problems!"... 1 year later (and until now) me and the other dev are still friends. Leave it to QA to properly identify the bug.

Hey fastlane!

Great tool and all, but your documentation is at 🤡 levels, I need to read 20+ pages to get a full overview and understanding. So far I've had to read a dozen plus blogs and stackoverflow posts to find hidden flows (authentication first to do this, etc. etc. etc.)

Don't market your tool as "reducing complexity & saving time" and showing one-liners in the docs when in reality there are lots of hidden steps and NOT one-liners!!!!!!

This is why everyone complains it takes 1-2 days to just get a freaking pipeline working!!!!🤡

(I highly recommend to you to not read this, it's just something that I had been wanting to take off my head; seriously, if you want to read it, do it at your own risk, because it will be a huge waste of your time)

Oracle Academy is the worst crappy attempt from a Corporation to create a learning platform.

The directive and academic personnel of my faculty decided that it could be a good idea to teach SQL and PL/SQL during whatever online classes will last with Oracle Academy, and I truly strongly believe (including most of my friends and classmates) that it's one of the worst ideas that could be done.

At that platform you simply don't learn shit, you read page by page of shitty PPT-like PDF presentations (that most of those are from a decade ago and other from 5 years ago) that are a pain in the ass to read due to how poorly formatted they are or how it explains badly certain concepts due to how badly made some explaining examples are, and then at each section of the "Learning Course" I have to do a Quiz that asks theorical questions and tells you to make certain code reviews to see if something is wrong or not (also which they are just alike the presentations, poorly formatted, up to the point that those have many syntax errors that end up consufing anyone a lot) and the main problem with the quizes is that also the Oracle's PL/SQL Docs are so fucking badly made, that I have to check PDF by PDF and page by page the concept that I just forgot to see how to answer the goddamn question; I mean, there are Doc pages that are way better structured and obviusly external to Oracle, but not even those pages fully cover certain SQL and PL/SQL concepts.

Seriously though, who could be so fucking ill-minded to create a shittyful learning platform and not try to fucking improve nor enhance it at least every 2 fucking years, so the goddamn "learning" process isn't that stressful.

Avoid ACPICA if at all possible. It's one garbage tier cluster fuck of bad design, horrible documentation and downright misleading and wrong code

It's meant to consist of an ASL compiler, disassembler, debugger, dumper, various user space utitilies and a kernel resident OSPM implementation *if* you can figure out what belongs to what. Even just compiling this pile of trash is a mystery in itself. Think you need the source files in source/common? EEEEH, wrong. Well, at least partially since most of them seem to be for the user space stuff..? Other ones *are* needed on the other hand. At least the disassembler and/or debugger and/or dumper components seem to reference them. Not that I could figure out how to compile those anyways. The real path to your goal seems to be to ignore a seemingly arbitrary subset of source and header files until your linker stops complaining

There's also a bunch of configuration defines, some of which *you* define, some defined *for* you, based on again others. Of course most of them do stupid shit. Enabling the debugger automatically enables debug logging. Enabling the disassembler force enables debug allocation tracking... What?

The code itself isn't of much help either. Looking in "os_specific/service_layers" you find what looks to be reference implementations of acpica functions in certain os' like windows and unix. Of course I had a look because AcpiOsReadMemory is supposed to read physical memory and I don't know how I would even implement that. But hey, osunixxf.c (xf for interface... of course) should tell me. I'll let you see for yourself in the attached image. Apparently it does fuck all and just returns AE_OK. No error, no logging, no nothing. Just ok. As you can imagine, AcpiOsWriteMemory doesn't do much more either.
...okay so maybe physical memory accesses aren't actually used and these functions are some sort of relic from past times? Nope! They are absolutely necessary for doing low level device interaction. WTF. So finally I went to the linux source and checked how *they* implemented them, and just as I thought, these functions are anything but no-ops...
...So for what fucking reason do these stupid interface implementations even exist but to purposefully mislead you?? They aren't used for fucking anything! As far as I know Windows doesn't even *use* ACPICA and Linux have their own fork with working implementations... They just sit there, just to tell you how to NOT do it

So that's some of my thoughts about ACPICA. Note that I haven't even used it as a library yet, I just got it to compile and link and it already fucked with me this much.
There's also so much more I didn't mention like that you *have* to modify the acpica source in order to get your own platform header working (else #error) eventhough the docs explicitely instruct you not too but you get the point

Don't use ACPICA if you don't have to. Save your sanity for something that's worth it

Spend literally two days trying to figure out why I have a 2 hour offset in my timezones for a lamp web app. This isn't even close to my first timezone rodeo.

Check logs, reset Apache/MySQL/PHP timezones in like 100 places. Use 3rd party server side and client side timezone libraries. Moment.js you say? Shit works like a charm... but is, of course, still two hours off.

MySQL is right. PHP is right. Apache is right. PHP libs are in place. Finally convert the entire damn project to use epoch time because I have a deadline, I have no more time to read backwater AWS docs and try to figure out why the hell this Ubuntu EC2 is fucked up, and I literally cannot figure out why in the hell the damn clock is off.

Several days later notice a variable in the main .config file... right in root... 2 hour timezone offset.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Well this is the thing. I have been starting to replace a lot of my shit with Golang. I think it is a great language because of one small fact: it is a boring language.

With this I don't mean that it is not incredibly fun to use. It is and honestly I feel that a lot of the concepts that I had from C passed quite nicely with some additions. The language does not do anything special and there is no elegant code. It works in a very procedural fashion without taking into consideration any of the snazzy things found in JS, Python, c# etc etc. Interfaces and struct make sense to me, way more than oop does in other languages. I don't need generics with the use of interface parameters and I have hadly found a situation in which I have to strive too far away from the way things are done with Go to be happy with it, then again my projects are not hard or by any means groundbreaking (most of them deal with logistics or content management and a couple of financial apps that I am rewriting in Go from work)

The outcome is fast and easy to read since idiomatic go is for the most part very readable(no people...single letter variable names are by no means a standard and they should feel ashamed from it)

I miss the idea of a framework, but not so much and the docs and internal code for Go is just way top inviting. I believe the code to be readable enough than anyone that has gotten used to the syntax and ideas of the language can just jump in and start learning. This is the first language that I have learnt from studying the code as it is inside of the standard lib, the same I cannot say for any other language or framework.

Also, it play beautifully nice with vs code.

I dunno man, I feel that I am doing something wrong. I have projects built in Node, php, python, ruby and spring java as well as .net core and I still find Golang way more appealing simply because it goes harder than Python with "one preferred way" to do things.

The lang does not make me feel like a pro, i certainly develop in it at pro speeds, but it was made with beginners in mind to built fast and concurrent apps, with the most minimal syntax possible.

I guess my gripe with it is that it gets shunned from this, saying that it ignored years of lang research to make it as dumbed down as possible. Which it did, lack of generics amongst other things certainly make it seem like, but I will not say that it was poorly designed. Not at all, I believe it is a testament of amazing engineering. To be able to create such a simple yet amazingly powerful language.

Wish there were more to it. Wish there was a nice gui lib or a ml framework comparable to the ones offered by python and java. But I guess such things will come with time.

I feel stupid with this language.

And that is fine.

So just babbling my shit down here.

(Tldr : i am a crazy guy who followed my half slept brain, went onto a stage , gave some kind of motivating , stammering talk to a large group of professional strangers, enjoyed that day with a red embarrassed face and just got my first pic of me speaking on stage and that is so awesome !)

Last Saturday i went to a gdg meetup and i embarrassed the hell out of me.

I went there with just 2 hours of sleep from the previous night.
After a few talks there comes a guy who is taking some time to install is setup and the host calls for lightning round session ( ie he asks if anyone from the audience would like to share something about their product or something).

I am a fucking nutt guy. I can explain something to you nicely in a hacky way as long as i have done enough work on that and you speak my native language.

But giving a talk on English stage, hell no! I stammer, mix hindi with English and start speaking werd shit.. And that's what happened.

I don't know what went into me but as some guy went to the stage and talked for 2 mins, i was like yeah i want to do that too. So in next turn when he asked for a show of hands, i raised mine and fucking went to stage!

I forgot that if you go on stage you should have something to talk to . But the moment i was on stage, i was like... "Nope, we will do this differently".
I had been working on a video ads module from the last week which could be easily explained in 2 mins. But i felt like giving a non techy talk instead.

It went something like this: i introduced myself with my experience details ( who gives experience details on stage !?!) Then host said to speak loudly and i went like "Bharat mata ki jai!"( Victory to mother india (wtf!?😆) .

Then started talking about how the developers feel disheartened when searching on internet where the resources are scattered . And the solution i told them was :"don't be disheartened. You will eventually find it (like wow dude wtf, as if they didn't knew that) . Look on the youtube and other resources " and then went full on explaining/marketing about some online tutor who gives advice/consultancy via a subscription based payment ( tbf that guy really helped solve a lot of my doubts, he has written books on Android dev and is the top so answerer for Android).

Then i went on sharing my thoughts live on that fuckin stage ! ( Live because i usually post my thoughts here on devrant before discussing them out with real people, you guys are my safe space) but there i discussed my thoughts on libraries!

I have this believe that Android devs these days are having lesser knowledge of the system because we have all the libraries and templates available to us. But when we have to customize stuff, we need to go deep into docs and source classes and find ourselves in trouble there. So i kind of said this out loud and that we should try to read more the code and implement stuff ourselves instead of using the library 😅🙈)

I was feeling so fucking embarrassing after that all stuff! It was so full of stammering , broken English and worst attempt at motivation. At that time i was regretting this and about to burst cry and run away, but somehow i gathered my self, got my mood back to the event games and talks, later went to the organizers and apologized(and they were very nice and didn't cared about it), and overall enjoyed my weirdest day!

When i came home, my mom gave me a little more confidence about it. Now i think i shouldn't be that much instinctive. Next day i went hack to work and everything got normal.

But Yesterday i found a link to the public repository of the photos. Ohh fuck, someone had took my image! and that was too in full hd!!! 🙈🙈🙈😅😆😆 Oh mann I can't stop looking at that cool stage speaker image, i love it ! I, the shy-est and the most uncool awkward person , present on the stage with a mike, oof , i think i lived my dream !

I hope i could get enough confidence and speaking skills to take a real stage talk next time ( and maybe enough interesting talks and confidence to talk with girls of our office, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

If you just stay calm and focus on building, you'll eventually come across things you've always wanted to learn, but didn't really see the purpose of it, this applied to everything in life.

For example, today was the first time I needed to use generics in my app, this is something I've always wanted to learn but didn't truly understand it. I've read docs and watched videos online, but still didn't see the benefit of learning generics.

However, once I needed it, I realized why it is relevant, and thus created stronger memory muscles.

Let's break this down:
- You learn more if the thing you need has a purpose.

- Information is simply data, once you apply it, information turns to knowledge.

And this my fellow dev friends is what you get paid for, not information, but knowledge.

And what is knowledge? - experience.

Best way to learn 'X' (and X11 too, if you see what I mean :))
1) shitpost on DevRant about how much 'X' is better than Java
2) read the official docs

They want what?! Call me away from vacation even though I'm not employed there anymore because they are to STUPID to read a FUCKING EMAIL?!

I sent the mail to THREE PEOPLE with the path to the docs and friggin TRIPLE CHECKED THE PATH AND FILES...

"Yeah could you please be there tomorrow morning?"

Why are project/tool webpages so useless...?

I mean, whenever I hear of a new tool/project I google its name. Of course, its dedicated webpage pops up as result #1. And EVERY TIME I find them looking nice, but quite confusing, riddled with all the buzzwords, nice phrases, promises of a better tomorrow,... but I'm yet to find a tool's webpage that explains what's that tool for and how to use it at least half as concisely and clearly as that tool's README.md in its GH/GL repo.

I mean, I can read every single word in the webpage, look at every picture/diagram, every fancy gif and still in absolute majority of cases I have no clue what that tool does.
Then I go to its GH/GL repo, read the first 2 sections of its README.md (takes me what, 2-4 minutes?) and I know all I need to now about the tool.

What's the point of those fancy webpages apart from containing docs and an SEO-tuned link to a README.md...?

Useless waste of storage and computing power if you asked me.

Imagine a web way ahead of our time where its size goes beyond our imagination...

This is my first rant, and I'll cut to the chase! I don't like how web currently stands. Here's what makes me angry the most altough I know there's a myriad of solutions or workarounds:

- A gazillion credentials/accounts/services in your lifetime.

- Everyone tries to reinvent the wheel.

- There's no single source of truth.

- Why the fuck there's so much design in a vision that started as a network of documents? Why is it that we need to spend time and energy to absorb the page design before we can read what we are after?

- What's up with the JS front end frameworks?! MB's of code I need to download on every page I visit and the worse is the evaluation/parsing of it. Talk about acessibility and the energy bills. I don't freaking need a SPA just give a 20-50ms page load and I'm good to go!

- I understand that there's a whole market based on it but do we really need all that developer tools and services?

- Where's our privacy by the way? Why the fuck do I need ads? Can't I have a clue about what I wan't to buy?

Sticking with this points for now... Got plenty more to discuss though.

What I would like to see:

A unique account where i can subscribe services/forums/whatever. No credentials. Credentials should be on your hardware or OS. Desktop Browser and mobile versions sync everything seemlesly. Something like OpenID.

Each person has his account and a profile associated where I share only what I want with whom I want when I want to.

Sharing stuff individually with someone is easy and secure.

There's no more email system like we know. Email should be just email like it started to be. Why the hell are we allowing companies to send us so much freaking "look at me now, we are awesome", "hey hey buy from me".. Here's an idea, only humans should send emails. Any new email address that sends you an email automatically requests your "permission" to communicate with you. Like a friend request.

Oh by the way did I tell you that static mail is too old for us? What we need is dynamic email. Editing documents on the fly, together, realtime, on the freaking email. Better than mail, slack and google docs combined.

In order for that to work reasonably well, the individual "letter" communication would have to be revamped in a new modern approach.

What about the single source of truth I talked about? Well heres what we should do. Wikipedia (community) and Larry Page (concept) gave us tremendous help. We just need to do better now.

Take the spirit of wikipedia and the discoverability that a good search engine provides us and amp that to a bigger scale. A global encyclopedia about everything known to mankind. Content could be curated from us all just like a true a network.

In this new web, new browser or whatever needed to make this happen I could save whatever I want, notes, files, pictures... and have it as I left it from device to device.

Oh please make web simple again, not easy just simple and bigger.

I'm not old by the way and I don't see a problem with being older btw.

Those are just my stupid rants and ideas. They are worth nothing. What I know for sure is that I'll do something about or fail trying to.

Google OAuth docs is such a pain to read... I have implemented OAuth multiple times and understand the flow. Its never been a problem, but man, their docs is such a pain to read.

Their Java client library is also painful. Its needlessly complex that I just ended up implement good old HTTP rest to handle it.

Sending email to client (the following is a short version of it)

"
Dear Data Evaluation Team,

Here is a link with the password to the data export for the questionaire.

You will find in there 4 sections:

1. Utilization Report
2. Question List
3. User Responses to questionnaire
4. Summary of responses
"

Email from client
"
Thank you data team.
I see that the user responses have some ids for the questions. Can you please give me the full question text, where is it?
"
My response
"Section 2, Question List"

Like really? Did you just not f*ing read the email and just jumped into the data export blindly. I wrote some fucking docs for a reason.

I just remembered some of the "harmless" dev-related insults I've received over the years:

1) most recently, I shared a tool with an acquaintance cuz it bears the same name as something he put together a while back. Background: this guy likes to come across as having infinite programming knowledge and brags to his fb pals about being an expert in multiple languages. While trying to make sense of the cryptic docs of the package I sent him, he implies I don't know what the iframe or html5 canvas are. Claims not to elaborate what package does cuz the docs is meant for advanced desktop and mobile devs

It hurt because this is one of few people who know I built suphle, yet thinks so lowly

2) as you can tell from the first point, I share links I consider interesting with relevant contacts. I'm also quite vocal about my (mostly contrarian) takes on occurrences within the dev space that I'm familiar with. One day on the laravel board, this dude is reprimanding me and asks me to take the opinions I read on blogs and tabloids with a pinch of salt, implying I didn't form them independently but was influenced by what was written by some stranger online

It hurt because I expected him to know better. I felt I'd sufficiently proven to have actually built things that informed my school of thought

3) the oldest happened many years ago but I remember it now because the perpetrator called me out of the blue last week. I was teaching his boss, who managed an office but preferred to keep his student status hidden, to avoid being thought incompetent. This caller guy just so turned out to be learning js at the time. Fast forward some years, we all disbanded. He'd landed a dev job and was doing well. So I sent him one of those js gotchas, asking him to explain his answer

After he replied, I told him his answer was close enough but it had more to do with js passing closure arguments by reference. Dude responded that he knew that was the correct answer but wasn't aware I knew what closures meant. That stung me like hell back then. I missed his call and didn't know who owned the contact, so I searched my chats and saw that last interaction. Pain all over again

You know that moment, when you look for something on wikipedia, and after few hiperlinks you are reading about influence of penguins on Mars' day length or othen nonsense?

Just happened to me like 4th time when reading Django documentation. It is so well written and easy to understand, that I just click and click and want to go deeper, and then realise I have to read what I need, because I never ever got to it in the first place.

Gotta love the people who make such docs. I never could, and prbly will.

To me this is one of the most interesting topics. I always dream about creating the perfect programming class (not aimed at absolute beginners though, in the end there should be some usable software artifact), because I had to teach myself at least half of the skills I need everyday.

The goal of the class, which has at least to be a semester long, is to be able to create industry-ready software projects with a distributed architecture (i.e. client-server).

The important thing is to have a central theme over the whole class. Which means you should go through the software lifecycle at least once.

Let's say the class consists of 10 Units à ~3 hours (with breaks ofc) and takes place once a week, because that is the absolute minimum time to enable the students to do their homework.

1. Project setup, explanation of the whole toolchain. Init repositories, create SSH keys for github/bitbucket, git crash course (provide a cheat sheet).
Create a hello world web app with $framework. Run the web server, let the students poke around with it. Let them push their projects to their repositories.
The remainder of the lesson is for Q&A, technical problems and so on.

Homework: Read the docs of $framework. Do some commits, just alter the HTML & CSS a bit, give them your personal touch.
For the homework, provide a $chat channel/forum/mailing list or whatever for questions where not only the the teacher should help, but also the students help each other.

2. Setup of CI/Build automation. This is one of the hardest parts for the teacher/uni because the university must provide the necessary hardware for it, which costs money. But the students faces when they see that a push to master automatically triggers a build and deploys it to the right place where they can reach it from the web is priceless.
This is one recurring point over the whole course, as there will be more software artifacts beside the web app, which need to be added to the build process. I do not want to go deeper here, whether you use Jenkins, or Travis or whatev and Ansible or Puppet or whatev for automation. You probably have some docker container set up for this, because this is a very tedious task for initial setup, probably way out of proportion. But in the end there needs to be a running web service for every student which they can reach over a personal URL. Depending on the students interest on the topic it may be also better to setup this already before the first class starts and only introduce them to all the concepts in a theory block and do some more coding in the second half.

Homework: Use $framework to extend your web app. Make it a bit more user interactive with buttons, forms or the like. As we still have no backend here, you can output to alert or something.

3. Create a minimal backend with $backendFramework. Only to have something which speaks with the frontend so you can create API calls going back and forth. Also create a DB, relational or not. Discuss DB schema/model and answer student questions.

Homework: Create a form which gets transformed into JSON and sent to the backend, backend stores the user information in the DB and should also provide a query to view the entry.

4. Introduce mobile apps. As it would probably too much to introduce them both to iOS and Android, something like React Native (or whatever the most popular platform-agnostic framework is then) may come in handy. Do the same as with the minimal web app and add the build artifacts to CI. Also talk about getting software to the app/play store (a common question) and signing apps.

Homework: Use the view API call from the backend to show the data on the mobile. Play around with the mobile project to display it in a nice way.

5. Introduction to refactoring (yes, really), if we are really talking about JS here, mention things like typescript, flow, elm, reason and everything with types which compiles to JS. Types make it so much easier to refactor growing codebases and imho everybody should use it.
Flowtype would make it probably easier to get gradually introduced in the already existing codebase (and it plays nice with react native) but I want to be abstract here, so that is just a suggestion (and 100% typed languages such as ELM or Reason have so much nicer errors).
Also discuss other helpful tools like linters, formatters.

Homework: Introduce types to all your API calls and some important functions.

6. Introduction to (unit) tests. Similar as above.
Homework: Write a unit test for your form.

(TBC)

By far, the worst docs I've read was for a library I used to use for almost every project. I didn't really have to look at the docs because I knew the ins and outs of it. Time went by and I stopped using the library. I came back to a project that used that library, and I had the hardest time figuring out what was going on.

It was a library I wrote :/

I got much better at documentation after that. I started doing DDD (Document Driven Development) because many developer's first experiences with libraries are with the documentation. It allowed me to interact with my library before I even started development.

How do I get gud? Been coding in Python for a while now and I still have a little bit of a problem figuring out where to go. I can read the docs and generally construct a decent program if it's fairly simple. Go anywhere beyond what I know I end up having to google for examples. Not sure if that's how many people do it but I feel like it's cheap. I feel like I'm taking bits of code, modifying it, and slapping part of my own code to it. I'm trying to teach myself how to make my own program without any major help from Google.

I'm still new so I think it's okay for the most part but I don't want to be a half ass programmer who more or less just googles and slaps things together. I want to sit there, think of a problem, and think "Oh I can use this module to help me with this and I can create this function using xyz and that should solve it!" I'm sure part of that comes with practice, but what else can I do to get gud and not be a lousy coder?

I don't like things like "programming is copy&paste"
But if you think about it... Actually it is: when you don't know how to use a function or how to write a new language you read the docs, copying and using what they say 🤔

Stack Overflow? It's a doc full of examples 😁

Why on earth I am doing docs and sending them to the whole team, if they keep asking me how to do X and why is Y not working

YOU WILL KNOW IF YOU READ THE DOCS

GAAAAAAA

The datepicker saga

Part one

So I begin work on a page where user add their details, project is late, taking ages on this page

Nearly done, just need a component to allow users to put in some date of births. Look for react components.

Avoiding that one because fuck Bootstrap.

Ah-ha, that looks good, let's give it a go.

CSS doesn't exist, oh need copy it over from npm dist. Great it applied but...

... WTF it's tiny. Thought it was a problem with my zoom. Nope found the issue in github.com and it's something to do with using REM rather than EM or something, okay someone provided a solution, rather I saw a couple of solutions, after some hacking around I got it working and pasted it in the right location and yes, it's a reasonable size now.

Only it's a bit crap because it only allows scrolling 1 month at a time. No good. Hunting through the docs reveals several options to add year and month drop downs and allow them to be scrolled. Still a bit shit as it only shows certain years, figure I'd set the start date position somewhere at the average.

Wait. The up button on the scroll doesn't even show, it's just a blank 5px button. Mouse scroll doesn't work

Fucking...

... Bailing on that.

Part 2

Okay sod it I'll just make my own three drop down select boxes, day, month and year. Easy.

At this point I take full responsibility and cannot blame any third party. And kids, take this as a lesson to plan out your code fully and make no assumptions on the simplicity of the problem.

For some reason (of which I regretted much) I decided to abstract things so much I made an array of three objects for each drop down. Containing the information to pretty much abstract away the field it was dealing with. This sort of meta programming really screwed with my head, I have lines like the following:

[...].map(optionGroup =>
optionGroup.options[
parseInt(
newState[optionGroup.momentId]
, 10)
]
)...

But I was in too deep and had to weave my way through this kind of abstract process like an intrepid explorer chopping through a rain forest with a butter knife.

So I am using React and Redux, decided it was overkill to use Redux to control each field. Only trouble is of course when the user clicks one of the fields, it doesn't make sense in redux to have one of the three fields selected. And I wanted to show the field title as the first option. So I went against good practice and used state to keep track of the fields before they are handed off to the parent/redux. What a nightmare that was.

Possibly the most challenging part was matching my indices with moment.js to get the UI working right, it was such a meta mess when it just shouldn't have taken so stupidly long.

But, I begin to see the light at the end of this tunnel, it's slowly coming together. And when it all clicks into place I sit back and actually quite enjoy my abysmal attempt at clean and easy to read code.

Part 3

Ran the generated timestamp through a converter and I get the day before, oh yeah that's great

Seems like it's dependant on the timezone??!

Nope. Deploying. Bye. I no longer care if daylight savings makes you a day younger.

1.) Read the docs on the website
2.) Curse the Devs for bad docs
3.) Go to YouTube and pray that I find a food tutorial WITH AUDIO!

(jk,sometimes some docs r very neat and clean)

Things that piss me the fuck off about user programs(in this case text editors):

No fucking documentation or signs of it available, a promise from like 3 years ago to post: tutorials/actual docs and yet unfulfilled shit. Yet the author sells the editor, you can get a free version of it, but the extension api is only given in the paid version. It's like $12 bucks, which depending on where you are from is really the cost of a meal.

The editor in question is 4coder, seems like a good stack for building C/C++ based applications with a lot of cool utilities underneath, I see dudes using it to create a lot of cool shit online, but things like moving input, stopping the thing from formatting pasted code etc etc. Shit, even reaching the documentation is fucky, you get the names of the commands......ok...awesome...wtf do I do with these? Why do i need to watch a 20+ minute tutorial from the developer instead of being able to read a retarded ass tutorial regarding how to do the most basic shit? For an editor that is set to replace Emacs and Vim for developers inside of a windows platform....it sure is lacking AF in that regards.

I really want to work with this thing because it seems to be made with a lot of heart, just can't stand the fact that the documentation is lacking like a motherfucker

I fucking hate webpack, babel plugins, loaders, presets and yarn workspaces and lerna monorepos.

Fucking stuck for days on not being able to run a project, tried a lot of github issues solutions. Yes I did read the docs and articles.

This morning me and my colleague had huge debate about using GraphQL or REST. While I was in total favour of GraphQL, that guy was more on REST side because he read some random articles on dev.to and medium and was highly motivated to use REST instead of GraphQL.

The problem is, some people write anything on blogging websites without even doing a proper research.

Since, I have worked on GraphQL, I knew it's pros and cons very clearly and what are the things that can be done to solve them.

The guys said that we can't do native caching in GraphQL at which the lava from my head just got burst out.
I showed him the official GraphQL docs where it was clearly mentioned that we can do caching in GraphQL.
Poor guy couldn't say anything after that.

P.s: We are still going to use old school REST APIs but I am happy that I could prove my point. I'll use GraphQL in my side projects anyway, loss for him if he's not exploring something new.

To the reactjs-centered fucks who develop the popular web component viewing software called storybook: have you ever heard about semver?
89 alpha/beta/rc releases for a minor update 6.3 -> 6.4 with "100's of fixes and enhancements" "in preparation of the HUGE 7.0 release". Gee I wonder will it have 1000's of bugfixes? How bug-ridden is this software?
Every minor upgrade since 5.x is backwards-incompatible and requires a day of frustration finding out in how many more fucking NPM packages you split your codebase just because it's cool. I know move fast and break things, but some of us have other things to do than resolving node_modules incompatibilities you know. "No just hit 'npx sb upgrade' you say". I did, I really did! And the browser showed a blank screen of death with tons of cryptic React errors, it really did! Thank God you abstracted away all your dependencies in that sb command, now you can't even read the docs about what could have gone wrong with a specific sub-package. You have @storybook/html but the docs redirect to React pages, so good luck if you use something else

This is so sad... like.. the IDEA of storybook is great. But why did faith put the capacity to develop such a tool into the hands of people who think the world centers around React and JSX.. HTML should have been the default, and then you build on top of that for your fav framework, not the other way around

I look in the docs at the function send(..., copy=True, ...).

I want to understand what copy is for and I read the description of the parameter: "copy (bool) – Should the message be sent in a copying or non-copying manner."

BuT whAt DoES thAt MEAn ?!

My biggest personal challenge as a dev is getting help. Sometimes I feel so deserted.

Now and then I have to do things that are not my expertise and I feel out of my depth. I think if I had an expert come in for a day they would be able to save me weeks of slow progress. There are dev things like updating frameworks, etc which I am fine to struggle through or read the docs, etc but things like setting up servers, enabling single sign on, database administration, integration with other systems. These are not really software development tasks but they need to be done. It seems every time I try to get help it is so much effort then the help I get turns out not to be helpful.

In my current role I have no budget or company credit card, etc. To make any sort of purchase I need to get my manager to write a business case to get approved by his manager signed in triplicate, buried in soft peat, etc. Even if I went through this process there are so many companies out there who want to get paid to do nothing and say they are experts in all things. It is almost impossible to know if we would get competent help or if I end up just wasting time explaining issues to people in phone meetings who are no help.

Fuck Apache TIKA.
Its supposed to be a "universal file reader" or some shit. Im trying to use it as a PDF/image parser that does OCR when needed and yelds a full-file string. It does so, but the text ends up being IN THE WRONG FUCKING ORDER.
WTF would I want to parse the text out of a PDF in any order that is not the one the text is supposed to be read?!?!
"It is more efficient to work in random ordering", says the docs. No shit, really? Wouldn't it be even more efficient to just spit out random strings? Just as useful and 100% CPU-bound.
"You can add a property to forcefully put the text in the right order". THEN WHY THE FUCK IT IS NOT THE DEFAULT SETTING?
Srsly, what's the use case to a parser that yields scrambled text?!?

So first rant, here goes weirdness, and also lengthy rant

So in my company we have the hr and accounting managed by the same person which also deals with all things employee related and she had a need for a way to extract a birthday from, what is in our country the personal identification number, things go great i get a formula that performs parts of the magic up to the point where the first digit of the number dictates the gender and century to be used when forming the full year, mind you only the last two digits of the year are in plain within the id number so i thy a number of ideas. After bashing around google sheets for a while ( i've got open office installed and formulas don't export well to the excel that person uses but google sheets does so i built it there).

First idea : make a few conditionals to check for the value so we have 1 and 2 for 19th century, 3 and 4 for 18th century , 5 and 6 for 20th so i go ahead and write my conditions and they fail, all evaluates to false, it cascades through the else variants up to the last one so i'm wondering if the "if" itself doesn't support the or operator, seems it does, next i think it's the bloody condition written wrong so i reevaluate my logic in php in a test script, it works as intended, then i think ok not the right function called, let's see the docs, docs confirm i'm doing it right but what was wrong was the way i was getting that first number, using left seems to produce a string although the base thing is a number, now i start searching how i can cast it, like you would normaly do when the data type is fried, value function appears to be the solution but it isn't working....now i'm thinking "ok so i have a value and different things to print out so let's look for a switch, maybe it can understand that" switch function found under the form of choice, i get it sorted but am stuck wondering why the heck was the if and value combination not working.

Simple answer to that : value doesn't work well with function results, a known bug listed by someone in a comment, a comment i have failed to read for about 45 minutes of trying to understand.

All in all it worked well for the person asking for it so it's nice.

Right now, I'm doubting my reading skills.

I'm doing a feature acceptance presentation and half way through they're like "did you handle cases A, B and C?"

No.

Fuck.

Now it's got to be rushed in ...
And all because I can't read the spiderweb of requirement docs

Is it sad that I look forward to the weekend so that I can actually write some code rather than:

- Helping clients that can’t / won’t read docs
- Explaining to test colleagues that we need repro steps and can’t fix a bug based on “I was doing something and it crashed”
- Writing any regular expressions for another dev where it’s more complicated than ^[A-Z0-9]*$
- Wading through legacy VBA that’s littered with GoTo, global variables (even i, j and k for loops are fucking global!) and all the other fucking lazy shortcuts that save you 10 seconds at dev time and cost you (which ends up meaning me) hours in subsequent debugging.

I love writing code, and I think I’m pretty good at it, so can I please just get on with it?

Fellow ranters, please tell me I’m not alone in this.

The day I read nodejs docs

I'd teach the basic principles of researching technologies, choosing a technology stack, proof of concepts and reading and understanding documentation. If this is done correctly it's 50% of the project. Nowhere on my CS uni has anybody mentioned these things, and I see other students are failing because they don't understand how to start a project or read docs.

last week i finished writing my first Python 3 script, I knew nothing I read no tutorials I just searched for the functions I needed in the docs. it's a script for a game I play to automatically download and run the maps based on a id I put in a text file might add it on GitHub later to get some comments.

I am implementing an API. How do I know what to do? Read the docs! Unless... there's none on the website. Asked by email and they could provide a PDF, which contains some graphics which you're free to interpret ...
Machine readable description? Nope.
How do I get to know about updates to the API? *blank stare*

when people in a framework chatgroup ask you to "you should really read the docs" because you keep asking roughly the same question.

I'd gladly stop asking 20 questions about the subject because I keep getting errors, but when there is literally no reference to the methods I have issues with in the documentation I don't have much choice than asking a question for each new method...

And yes I did ask if someone could point me to the doc's for them, the answer was "Check the source code..."

(double annoying when the rest of the framework is documented rather excellently)

On the learning new stuff before applying some horrid shit everywhere:

Read the fucking guide/documentation/whatever, few times and if not clear, ffs ask someone - it will make you look less stupid now then later when you fuck it up for everyone!

Dude started doing something new when I was on long holidays, and I got noticed the day I was back.

Said ok, let's dive in and spent all day reading docs and guides, good practices and saw examples of what to apply and what to avoid cause shitstorm will happen etc.

I asked that dude to show me his work on this up until now, and that dude used every antipattern available!

Invest some fucking time in educating yourself a bit and pay attention to, you know, important fucking things from docs/guides!

WTF, Rust. You are so fucking hard to write, and TBH, your docs are not understandable. Please writte your docs to be understandable, and make it fun to read, like golang does.

WTF, Rust. I am now looking, for 5 hours straight, for a solution for reading stdin into a variable. Nothing. 6 fucking solutions for 6 different rust versions of which not one works. Nothing is readable. Explain the philosophy of you language! What the hell is this?! Is your language based on the C family? On which is it based?! fucking idiots

Hey all, just wondering what it was like for you when starting out your career.

I'm a newish dev, been full time for about a year hired right after my internship. My role has a bunch of hats ranging from DevOps/sys admin to software engineering, sort of a weird mashup of skills so it's not pure software engineering. I mainly work with python, Ansible, and some terraform.

However I still just want to say I'm sorely disappointed in my undergrad classes.

I have a "concentration" in software engineering. I did struggle in classes as I was working full time to pay for classes without taking out loans, but I don't really remember learning a whole lot that was useful in industry.

Overall I just feel like just paid money for a degree that didn't teach me very much useful stuff. Maybe I'm just lacking experience? Maybe what I learned I just don't notice myself applying because it's subconscious?
My coworkers have taught me so much, and I'm very thankful they invested that time into me. I still get ripped to shreds during code reviews lmao (definitely not as much compared to when I first started but I'm also still learning and will always be)
Plus our company docs are pretty good so I can always read through them or search our codebase for examples on how to utilize in house tools etc.

I definitely hit the jackpot with this job, just feeling like I should have been prepared more.

While Indian govt. talks about digitizing the country and is pushing ahead with it, their Employee's Provident Fund Org (EPFO) infra is absolutely shit and it's killing small time business that want to help their employees.

You need to add Digital Certs to do just about anything (great security wise) BUT,
The digital sign interface is written in Java Flash, that was dropped by all modern browsers 4 years ago.
The only stable working latest browser for it is Firefox 52 released 3 years ago.

The USB tokens used/supported are all Chinese that don't respect OSS drivers and fork built their own (read Watchdata) with no/shitty and cumbersome linux support (couldn't get it working after 2 nights of trying different versions of drivers).
You still have to run Windows to sign the docs or to interact with EPFO using legacy browsers from 2016

Non Tech problems: EPFO charges 500 Rs/month minimum admin charges, and I pay 1200 Rs PF for my driver. That kind of commission is plain stupid and will make small employers run away from paying PF for their employees.

Any interaction with EPFO is like having to eat thorns. painful, unnecessary bullshit. How useless can someone be building such a system released in 2019?
I just hope they fix it. A simple google search shows there is Web Crypto API for modern browsers. Someone wake these people up. SMH

TLDR: RTFM...

My dad (taught me how to code when I was a kid) was stuck serializing a Java enum/class to XML.... The enum wasn't just a list of string values but more like a Map(String,Object>.

He tried to annotate it with XMLEnum but the moment I saw this enum, I'm thinking that's unlikely to work.... Mapping all that to just a string?

He tried annotating the Fields in it using XMLAttribute but clearly wasnt working...

Also he use XMLEnumValue but from his test run I could clearly see it just replaced whatever the enum value would've been with some fixed String...

Me: Did you read the documentation or when the javadocs?

Dad: no, I don't like reading documentation and the samples didn't work.

I haven't done XML Serialization for years thought did use JSON and my first instinct was... You need a TypeAdapter to convert the enum to a serializable class.

So I do some Googling, read the docs then just played around with the code, figured out how to serialize a class and also how to implement XmlTypeAdapter.... 20 mins ...

Text him back with screenshots and basically:

See it's not that hard if you actually read up on the javadocs and realized ur enum is more like a class so probably the simple way won't work...

OMF you motherfucking Eclipse developers. All I want is to build an application with SWT. WHY THE FUCKING FUCK is that near impossible.
1) why are there no SWT maven artifacts= only 3 year old ones on a custom github repo?
2) why is is fucking rocket science to even find a guide on how to build this fucking piece of shit yourself
3) WHY THE FRIGGIN FUCKING FUCK OF FUCKS is it so hard to build it your self - outdated docs .... nice, dead links and repos, nicer .... referenced maven artifacts from a non-existing, none-documented repo, ... wow you're really kickin it here.

All I want is to fix this nullpointer in this fucking piece of shit you call framework ...
Have you actually tried to read your docs (can we really call that shit docs?) from a none-100years-swt dev's point of view?
Noone understands shit!

Why is there no standard build system, like maven, grade or for fuck's sake even ant?
It almost feels if you devs don't want anyone use your abomination, so it can die in peace.

Arg, I could puke ...

I just learned Serverless.com

Thats it?

Shit was 100x more easy to learn compared to the brutality of terraform devops reactive streaming kafka rabbitmq sockets and other shits i had to fuck around and find out.

Dont even have to watch tutorials for this. Just building 1 simple crud project and read the docs was enough.

However after deploying these serverless shits to aws Lambda i noticed that it takes quite some time for the api to fetch response. Why?

On postman calling the route for the first time i have to wait like 3s for api to fetch all (with limit of 10) or create 1 dto object. Then every next api call is 100-150ms which is ok. But it could be better no? Locally my spring boot rest api takes 3-7ms of load time. Why is this 100-150ms?

This is a continuation of my previous rant about admob being not very informative when it comes to invalid traffic and the resulting restriction in ad delivery.

I then wanted to use admob mediation to hang in facebook ads. My app is written with Xamarin.Forms.

So first I needed to make some facebook configuration - create an account, let my app review, create some ad placements and other shit. I came to the point where I had to put in a link to my privacy policy and the link could not be accepted due to some SSL fuckup -.-'

I then found out that there is an issue with my SSL Chain. With the help of whatsmychaincert.com I solved that issue. Little side note here: I have limited knowledge of that stuff and my cousin helped me set up my homepage so I had no idea what I was doing. Did a snapshot and luckily I did not needed that as everything worked :)
This took me around half an hour just so I can paste the fucking link to activate my app in facebook developer portal.

After that I made the whole mediation configuration shit - not an issue as google documented this quite well but it took some time.

Now comes the shitty part. To use admob mediation you need adapters to the other ad network. I found a nuget package with exactly what I needed just to find out that it is outdated. So I pulled the repo and saw that this thing is an aar binding library. Never did that stuff so I read some docs again. Updated the package and consumed it in my app.

The google docs then said "Use this mediation test shit to check if you did everything correct before going prod" - aar binding nr. 2 (but I am now familiar with that :P). This thing then told me that facebook ads could not be loaded because the SDK version is outdated -.-' SDK version comes from another nuget package which is referenced by the first aar thingie. I tracked that thing back to a repo where I found out that they are indeed totally behind. So I downloaded the aar, made a binding lib and bound that to my first aar binding lib as that depends on this.

Put that all back in my app - tested mediation and fucking finally after 6 hours everything comes together! all lights are green and things work.

Sorry if this is not quite a rant but it was quite a journey and I just had to share it.

I hate the fucking Spring WebFlux and the goddamn Project Reactor on which it depends!
Even debugging a simple CRUD microservice with simple business logic is such a pain in the ass, exception handling has a lot of "magic" implicit stuff which makes me waste hours in fucking trial & error and I have to use very little breakpoints because if a request is paused for more than few seconds it gets terminated.
I love functional programming but why shove it in fucking Java making me waste 90% of my time in trying to guessing what the fucking framework is doing, why not just use Scala which runs in the JVM? We don't even need compatibility with legacy code since it's a greenfield project!

And before you ask yes, I read a fucking book about Project Reactor and Java reactive programming and a lot of docs on Spring, Spring Boot and Spring Web Flux.

Recently I have had to help our support team handle a variety of embedded development support tickets for a product line that is quite complex in nature. It is really starting become frustrating how common it is that the so-called “developers” that are using this product are so incompetent at requesting help in a proper/sane way. It is even more frustrating that some of these schmucks start acting up and stating bullshit statements like (para-phrasing) “OMG we have a ‘big opportunity’ and a deadline to meet”, “you need to help us faster”. These are also the same guys that are like “I know you have a free SDK that does everything correctly, but I want to write my own ‘pro’ driver written in my own ‘dumbass code style’. Oh and I am not going to follow documentation and not implement required functions and make you read my god awful code snippets to find out what I what I did wrong instead of reading the docs or comparing against the SDK.”

To anyone that behaves this way...fuck you! Just stop. Stop being a developer altogether. If your “opportunity” is so important, why the fuck are you half-assing your support ticket? Why are you making it SO DAMN DIFFICULT for someone to help support you! Give as much info as possible to prove your point or provide context to the problem you are having. In the majority of these tickets the dumbasses don’t even consider that relaying the product’s firmware version is relevant information, that a Wireshark (and/or logic analyzer) capture can be very useful to provide context to the type of operation being performed. Code snippets can be nice but only if there is sufficient context. We have had to ask one guy 3 times already for the FW version...what the flipping hell is wrong with you?!

Ug...I feel sorry for Support/FAEs sometimes dealing with customer bullshit drives me nuts and its a shame this stuff happens in a sector that should know better...Please don’t be like these devs. If you make a half-assed request it is only reasonable to expect a half-assed response and nothing more.

I thought today was a good day to look at how I will deal with database migrations for this node.js/sql-server application. I read up docs for a few migration frameworks but the ones I found seem to make things too complex.

I am tempted to just roll my own by storing a db version in a table, numbering .sql scripts in a folder and running all the higher numbered scripts when the application starts.

Anyone know is there any gold standard for this sort of thing or anything to watch out for?

What's a good book to learn ELK hands-on?

I have an instance set up and working but want to need some more advanced features? like mapping, index templates, querying remotely for aggregations.

The Elastic docs feel very high level and maybe assumes u can read their minds... A lot of snippets I just go "uhm.. where do I put this in the file, which file?"

Best documentation have probably been most language docs and references I've worked with, official or otherwise, especially C++. Completeness, consistency, tidiness and examples really help a lot, since I know I can rely on the docs for basically any problem and makes work so much easier since I'll be guaranteed to leave understanding what's up.

Worst documentation has got to be the internal docs we had to create for a seven-man uni project, you couldn't find shit in the sea of docs that were out of date or just plain wrong. It was so much easier to ask whoever was working on that part about the intricacies of the cobbled-together mess than to either read the code or the docs. One absolute mouthbreather was working on the database docs and put in that it stored ArrayLists. Fucking Java ArrayLists in a motherfucking database. One day I am going to rant so hard about this dumbass and it's gonna be a spectacle.

Bonus points goes to the company's public documentation at my internship. It was good and pretty complete, but sometimes there was a document from 2 years ago that had been written by a non-english speaker that was absolutely awful. Some of them were so bad that as soon as I'd finished learning what I needed to, my mentor told me to go and fix the docs, I don't blame him.

My one of my favorite open source project was Re-think DB!

It was highly light weight real-time DB.
One fine day, I read a blog by the CEO / founder, telling we are under loss since there is no financial support! and we are closing it, by just keeping the website and docs of prev version alive!

I was heartbroken , for days!
This takes the top place for favourite oss project

Btw
It has high no. of stars in github than Mongo db, reddis, etc..

Hey! Just curious, is it normal that a technical test/challenge takes me more than a day to do?

I have been interviewed for a front-end role, and was given a react challenge. They said that it shouldn't take more than 2 hours ('hopefully' is what they added at the end). But i've been doing this challenge for a day now and it's only 60-70% done.

It's not complicated, and I do know how to do it, and, even, do it properly, it just takes a lot of time for me to code, i.e. develop components, change webpack when needed, read react materialize-ui (css framework) docs, then destructure json response from the api they provided and put this information on a page, then try to compile to the right format (they want single .html element with inline js and css as a deliverable).

So my question is, am I shit or is it unreasonable for a company to ask do so much coding or a little bit of both?

What's your experience usually when looking for a job in 'hip' and 'cool' startups?

I got a new phone, and there is an option in the settings to disable notifications for specific apps. Of course, to prevent overload from apps.
The problem is that the apps that actually spam me:
Bloatware "antimalware" wants to be activated (I have eset on my phone and thats probably better than a random bloatware) and Samsungs integrated file manager "My files" (I have es installed anyways and its better than the bloatware. Im sure I use it.)
Their notifications just cant be turned off fully. Instead I only have the option to "hide them on lockscreen".
Nice, except the lockscreen is the only place my notifications actually dont show up. Even when I want to, it just doesnt work.
The teams making apps should actually read the docs of other projects, as this is just massivly uninformed development.

When you are reviewing a PR in which the author has used utilities/libraries that were written by you(which were very generalized and DRY but required for you to read the docs to clearly understand their usage). But instead of using it properly they modify it for their specific usage and made a freaking PR. 

I just can't wait to finish the review and slap their face with a printed copy of the FUCKING docs. 

Seriously, read the goddamn docs. And, if you do change the lib, please update the doc too.

I've been learning android app development using kotlin/java for about 4 months, and i think i'm pretty good with kotlin/java, i've learned a lot of things related to android development, i've cloned netflix,spotify and made streaming apps with firebase as the backend, and I think I understand using firebase quite well because firebase itself is not difficult to use. Is it for my current skills that I deserve to work as a freelancer or do I still have to improve my skills?if it yes,give me an example of what kind of application I should do to improve my skills again!,I've read the android studio docs what to know and I've studied everything even though I sometimes forget how to make this/make that but I understand the logic quite well ok, please help

Watch an "Introduction" video about it, or read the docs/blogs on why and where to use this particular tech. If you find it useful, then get your head down and work. Watch every YouTube video, read company docs, read random blogs, read FAQs. Honestly, any source you can get your hands on.
And never forget to write more code than you read.
Consistency and hard work is the only key.
I still remember when I was first getting introduced to front end, I didn't sleep for 3 straight days and was studying all that I could.

After 3 days of struggles. I got the google maps in react native ios development.
Lesson learned: Read the given docs twice and do.

How do you say no to any opportunity? I mean , as an engineering student, i have learned that anything can be made or any paper can be cleared if we set up our mind towards it( or if there is a deadline/good bucks/both attached to it)

But as a person who has given most of his free time to android dev, i know that i will give better outputs as an android dev than reading some web manuals for 2 days and work as a backend dev.
I am very confused. i have seen people who are very successful yet not passionate about any language , framework or tool. whatever comes in their way and carries a ton of $$$, they shut up, read the docs and make a great product. And then there are people who will only prefer to work in a specific environment and with a limited set of tools and technologies.

Can anyone with industry experience guide me that where should I incline if i am playing for the long run?

Fucking Quarkus. Fucking Panache. Fucking ORM.
I wanted to do a fucking simple projection. First this piece of fuck, the Panache, won't let me do a Projection because of a fucking bug, that haven't implemented it properly until 2.12 (fuck and you call this v2?). Ok, upgraded, to the latest 2.16, cuz why the fuck, i'm upgrading already. But now the whole fucking quarkus app won't start! Noice! Ok, fuck it, let's go down exactly to 2.12. Quarkus started, perfect. But now, this pice of fuck Hibernate says 'collection was evicted' whenever i tried to read a collection in the setter (Access.PROPERTY), which worked just fucking fine before. But okay, fuck you. I'll write a @PostLoad method, fine, just fuck off.
But that's not the end! Now it says I cannot write `select parent.someColl is not null and parent.collection is empty as canProcess` because "is empty" only supported in where clauses. What fucking wonderful system! Well, fuck you. I'll write a union query. But guess what! JPA standard does not support union queries, nor HQL (Eclipse Link does, btw). Ok, fuck this shit, let's write a native query. But hey, fucking Panache does not support that. There is no fucking place in their fucking docs stating anything about how to use native queries.
So, fuck you quarkus, fuck you panache, fuck you hibernate, fuck you overcomplicated limiting bullshit called full-fledged ORMs. I'm moving to a fucking mybatis and fuck it. It's simple as fuck, does not fucking restrict me in writing whatever shit query I want to write and let's me map the shit just fine.

Some of the rants that I’ve read recently have inspired me to write this one:

You know how some OOP based APIs require you to call the base implementation of an overridden method?
If you think about it, its pretty shit. None of the languages have mechanisms to enforce it, so all you can do is to rely on the caller to read the docs for that method that he is overwriting and then do the right thing.
And then you can also have the requirement that the base implementation should be called at the start or at the end of that method.

I really think that this is an OOP problem because if I would have to design it, I’d make a function that takes a closure as a parameter and then call that closure at the start or at the end of that "base" code. This is implicitly documented (by naming the closure appropriately so that the caller knows if it is called at start or end). And it is impossible to miss it because you need to pass something to that parameter. (Alternatively, you could also pass the closure to the constructor).

BeautifulSoup (python module) doc is a single block of text which has an everlasting scrolling and hard to read. Examples are ok, but come on, we're devs, not text parsers. We need clear, clean and visual documentation. I neither like the organization of the Facebook API docs. It was a nightmare to build my first simple app. There are tons of this kind of messy, almost unreadable and confusing docs. It's strange, but usually these kind of docs are related to open source projects. Long life to markdown and github.

So for the past two days I had to deal with a problem where I have to do a nested query with sequelize, pretty straight forward reading the documentation, or that was I think. I implemented everything according to the docs but the query stills fails, why ? I had no idea, I double check my implementation, I googled the error, no luck, after a day searching like crazy I talked with the backend lead about this and he help me to realize that the naming convention was changing because sequelize is creating a nested (SELECT * FROM) because one of the relations has a one-to-many realtion with the root model and I'm why the heck is doing that? But we both didn't know, and the problem was solved by just modifying the names, so we let it through, and sent it to QA. The next day I see the task rejected by QA and the reason was after the changes were merged another part of the app was broken, ok np, I'll fix it right away, and oh God I found the error was caused by another query that was including the first query we fix yesterday ! It was a nested query with 3 lvls! And the names became even more complex ( like `model1->model2.colum1`), goddamit, ok, I spent most of the day searching again, nothing, read the specification of the findAll function, nope, tried to put that name in the ON clause as the docs suggested, still an error, shit, then the lead helps me again and creates a literal which can hold that name and voila! Everything is happiness, at least for that moment, but I was still curious about this behavior, so I keep digging on it and I've just found an issue where a great guy posted an option to the findAll method that is not documented in any version of sequelize ! WTF ! And this option was "subQuery" which if you set it to false it won't create that additional (SELECT * FROM) from before, FUUUCK! I can't believe it, I know that all the effort works in my favor because I learn more about sequelize, but FFS I'm still angry because this shit shouldn't happen, you need to update the god damn docs, it's just adding a row and telling the people what it does. Well to end this, after putting that in the query and replacing all the workarounds with the expected syntaxis everything works like charm.

Situation - I am responsible for refactoring and performance improvements in a company with several teams. This means I gotta do static analysis on code, run compliance tools and make changes in code or in the deployment pipeline, make sure the cloud is configured properly etc.,

Here is the catch when it comes to working on a ticket- the Azure team does not give my team permissions to make the necessary changes in the cloud. The Azure team won't pick up the ticket and do it themselves either.

Instead, we take the ticket, read the docs, take a guess on what's right or wrong. Then proceed to inform the Azure team who then go on to make that change. It is very hit or miss and often the ticket comes back to us and we do the same process again. Sometimes I have to spin up resources on my personal Azure account to tinker with settings to see which knobs are there for making changes to a resource.

Either pick up a ticket and work on it yourself, or give us azure with sufficient rights for us to be able to make the change. This midway status is infuriating, super unproductive and painful for us. Is this common? I am so frustrated.

Local company has an API service that I'm interested in playing with. Most services would just have you sign up or just read the open api docs. But not this one. Wants me to jump through hoops because its part of their "KYC" policy. I just want to test something before I think of using it for real and they can't provide any test accounts/environment for that. Oh well, at least, I can document my rough experience and perhaps guide others to do and use (or not use) it.

Liquibase, why won't you fucking roll back my changeset???!

What do you guys recommend to read when starting Electron project with React and Typescript. I'm kinda stuck. :/

I've already make a simple Electron app with Js, but few people recommended me to try React, Redux and Typescript. But idk where to start.

P.S: Tried the boilerplate, reading docs.. I need something that explains what does what and how.

#Suphle Rant 9: verbatim exception scare

In multiple rants, I've bitched about laravel stealing suphle features. By some very weird coincidence, it appears I've been given a taste of my own medicine. Let me explain:

We're having a chat this morning on a laravel group chat when someone says he uses their notification component a great deal. Curious, I ask him what he uses it for since I only used it sparingly during my laravel days. To pry an answer out of him, I ask whether he uses them for sending app error alerts to a slack channel, and he responds with an eerily familiar term. I quickly look it up and the results on the docs are chilling: errors can be sent to bugsnag (which suphle has an integration for), sentry and Co. Errors can either be broadcast or disabled. Specific kinds of errors can be caught. My heart sunk. My brother called for something while I was going through it and I was struggling to pull myself together

Their exception component is almost identical to mine and I'm only just realising. It's shameful that I'm just learning about functionality present since 5.8. I thought my creation was novel. BUT! The good news is, the implementation differs

Too many errors went unnoticed during my time there because error broadcasting is optional. Since none of my colleagues read that part of the documentation, we were firefighting by pulling and wrangling production error logs. This informed their abolishment in suphle altogether

A relatively minor difference is in the APIs –their philosophy makes significant use of global functions, violating SRP, etc.

But the most important difference, that still cheers me up, is that they only catch known errors. Suphle has a construct for isolating calls to a decorated service. Any unforeseen error to occur during its execution will do a series of things before control is returned to the caller

Why is it acceptable for dev think it's ok to skip testing? WHY?
Today i was told that a co-worker had good enough judgment when it comes to CSS if it will break in other browsers other than chrome. I'd accept that if they knew the browsers inside out and read all the release docs but no, not them. Even more so when it's not their field of expertise.
After working for 2+ years at the some company, with a QA team, it's become evident no one does any proper testing, even the friking QA team!
I'm close to define the supported browsers as "What ever the developer used at the time of build".
Am I really the only Dev to test in at least 2 other browsers?

1. When we struggled for month with using OpenSSL, fixing our server, then bit of Sqlite3 fuck ups. Was it even right to use those libs, not write shit ourselves, if it is such a hassle to use them, or is it only us being too stupid to read the docs? Project seemed 'finished' for over a year. Really wore us out to get it out there.
2 Our board constantly announcing the success and striving of our pentester department. Makes me feel I am at the wrong place. No dynamics, growth, just too much stupid work to plow through.
3 Starting a bit with CTF's. Realizing I am hardly at the entrance of the rabbit hole. (And also is it even the right thing going down there? My Luddite tendencies also shining through...) Not mastering all this tools.

I point out to a guy which documentation and which section he should read to solved his problem, 30minutes later I swing by and the dude sits and watches tutorials on YouTube. I ask him "did you figure it out and solved the problem?", he replies " nah! This tutorial is really great, it shows step by step...blah blah.. I can send it to you! We should all watch it tomorrow after standup" ... Really? He honestly believes were getting paid to drink latte watch tutorials on YouTube? I almost imploded at that point, went into "whatever"-mode and seriously pondered how much mentoring sucks some days. But seriously tutorials on the tube were targeted for 14year old beginners a last time I checked,did the world do a double revolution and left me behind?? Or is that guy just plainly trying to hide the fact how incompetent he is at reading docs?

I even provided a link to the docs with examples and they had the audacity to ask me trice how to do the basic example. Do you not learn how to read/learn in university or what?

Damn, I hate Spring and most CoC frameworks. We’re using it from 2 years, I read most of the docs and it still gives issue for basic taks which takes hours to fix because I have to guess the exact convention which allows the program to process corner cases which aren’t explained in the docs. Yes, in the end the code is more elegant but it’s worth it when issues which could be solved in minutes by a trivial if/else statement takes hours (rigorously on pair programming™️ since being one of the few which actually read the docs I end up with lots of calls for help for Spring related issues by other teammates) and huge headaches to fix following the framework’s way?