Last hour of my job today:

Hardstyle blasting out of the speakers at full volume

Everyone drinking a beer

Boss coming in with "Fuck this shit we're gonna game!"

This is what I call a good end of the work week 😍

Me: Did Sherry let you know that I'm leaving today?

Coworker: what!? No!

Me: yeah... I'm leaving.

Coworker: huh, I'm not surprised...

Me: what is that supposed to mean!?

Co: shit man, this job sucks, I'm not surprised. I'll be leaving right behind you.

Me: oh.... Um... April Fools... 😬

Co: God damnit.

Me: don't worry, I won't tell the boss how you really feel.

What fresh shit is this ?

Can we please stop with this shit... its seriously annoying...
Like "master" and "slave" are literally the perfect terminology to explain what is being described... please leave ideology at home...

I like how nano not only shows you unnecessary whitespaces, it throws them in your face and and screams "YOU SEE THAT? WHAT IS THIS SHIT? DELETE THIS DISGRACE TO CLEAN INDENTED CODE!"

I actually hate this job, seems like there's not a single project with decent code abstraction. Everything is a fucking spaghetti like:

```
// we only care about e-mail fields, which are odd
isValid(index) {
if(!(index%2)) {
return true;
}
...
}
```

Like MOTHERFUCKER, WHAT BUSINESS RULE DOES THIS SHITCODE REFLECTS?!?! WHY CAN'T YOU SHITHEADS WRITE PROPER BUSINESS ABSTRACTION RATHER THAN JUST COLLEGE-GRADUATE QUALITY SHITCODE.

FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY I SHOULD HAVE INSTEAD BECAME A PSYCHIC CAUSE I'M SURELY GOOD AT GUESSING WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK THIS FUCKING FUCKCODE INTENDS TO ACHIEVE.

AND YOU CALL YOURSELF TOP-NOTCH DEV CAUSE THIS IS JAVASCRIPT... YOU KNOW WHAT, SHITHEADS LIKE YOU, WHO DON'T KNOW SHIT OTHER THAN GLOBALLING EVERY FUCKING NPM LOCAL PACKAGE IS WHY GOOD ENGINEER LIKE US GET SHIT FROM PHPEPSI ZENDFRAMESHIT FUCKHEADS DEVS.

DO YOU THINK YOUR COMMENT WAS HELPFUL??? DO I LOOK LIKE A BUSINESS GRADUATE FUCKTARD WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THE MODULE OPERATOR IS??? I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU WROTE THAT SHITFUCK INSTEAD OF WHAT IT DOES; THE REASON I'M READING YOUR POORLY WRITTEN MODULE OPERATOR SOAP-OPERA IN THE FIRST PLACE IS CAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT'S DOING, IT'S BREAKING SHIT.

OH AND ONE MORE THING, FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCKSHIT SHITFUCK FUCk

Dear Google OAuth,

you might hate me since i spammed you the whole day with access token requests.
But this is all your fault. Because you never gave me ONE SINGLE SHITTY TOKEN!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS "BAD REQUEST" ERROR MESSAGE?!

You're a rich as shit company with thousand and thousands of employees.
OAuth is one of your essentials cause it handles the access to all your services.
So why the hell i cannot get some smart errormessage to debug my shit.

You are like my gf, when she is mad at me and does not tell me why. But even she is a lot easier to debug!

How my birthday is going so far:
1. Dropped coffee on my shirt
2. Client is wondering why we removed a feature that he wants yet asked us to remove a week ago
3. Dev server is no longer working
4. Internet connection is shit
5. My VPN keeps on disconnecting (see #4)

Is this day going to end or what?

No matter what day it is, this shit keeps happening

I guess that is what you get for bringing up security issues on someones website.

Not like I could read, edit or delete customer or company data...

I mean what the shit... all I did was try to help and gives me THIS? I even offered to help... maybe he got angry cause I kind of threw it in his face that the whole fucking system is shit and that you can create admin accounts with ease. No it's not a framework or anything, just one big php file with GET parameters as distinction which function he should use. One fucking file where everything goes into.

Just got this little stinker added to my board this morning….

Ticket Title: Weird shit going on in app

Ticket Description: (blank)

Attachment: <Screenshot of app logo>

Manager: Well what do you think is causing it?

Dev: Causing what?? This ticket doesn’t describe anything at all

Manager: Well it’s a bunch of different things! The ticket is just a high level summary. Now how long do you think it’ll take to fix?

Dev: …

Honestly, I’ve been complaining a lot about the company I joined a few months ago and especially about the code base and I just have to say ...

With good fucking reason, look at this shit, every single *.js file of our Angular app is manually added inside the master page
Not even minimized what the actual fuckkkkkkkkkkk

Ranting about a meme lol

This type of shit is what I fucking hate most iPhone users.

Samsung was founded in 1938... Apple was founded in 1976.

Most iPhone users are a walking L these days with their ignorance and false sense of superiority. Fucking assholes

So there it fucking goes.

Hi. I'm WillibertXXIV.
I'm not a programmer by trade; I have a more than fulltime job as a cook. As for the last year, I spent pretty much all my free time, overlapping my sleep time, to learn how to code.

All that so I can create a game that I started working on the same day I started my learning process. So far it's shit and it's going to stay that way for a long time. Only I can say this. It's my baby. It's fucking ugly and shit but it's mine.

Yesterday I broke it. I broke my baby. I don't know how it fucking happe. When I went to sleep I had a steady 175fps, nice realtime lightning and player / enemy that flowed like running water. I worked really hard to make that happened. Profiling, writing better code, profiling, etc. It's still not good, it's less shit.

I woke up, beautiful day. Not too warm, not too cold, that sweet spot right in the middle. Girlfriend already made the coffee. Perfect. Woke up, sat down to start my morning time work before going to my realjob and

BAM

Everything is shit, 20fps max. That one thing, gfx.waitforpresent, showing up in the profiler eating everything as the game run. Movements are now of stroboscopic nature. Light is still ok but what good does it do now fucking piece of shit. I'm not qualified enough for this shit.

Fuck,
Fuck this,
Fuck this shit,
Fuck this shit i'm out of here.

Fuckin hell!!

Code works everywhere except at one client. Ok, I check logs & see something missing.. I go check the code that handles excel files.. try catch and do nothing.. great.. :/ ok let's log this shit to see what is not ok...
Insert logs, build, update, run.. now it freakin works o.O

Wait, there is a bug in high sierra making it possible to log in as root without a password. What the fuck? How does this shit even happen?

What in the actual fuck is this shit?

rant;

WHY DO PEOPLE DELETE STACKOVERFLOW QUESTIONS WHERE I AWNSERED THEM IN DETAIL WHAT TO DO AND WHY IT BEHAVES IN THE WAY IT DOES. THIS SHIT JUST WASTED MY TIME AND DOES NOT BENEFIT ANY USER WITH A SIMILAR ISSUE. THESE FUCKERS NEED TO GET THEIR EGOMANIAC SHIT TOGETHER IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT THEM AND STACKOVERFLOW IS NOT A FUCKING FREE OUTSOURCING COMPANY.

tl;dr don't awnser people on stackoverflow if they don't mark their past questions as awnered. It is a waste of time.

Hey devRant. What the fuck is up?

I'm new and just wanted to say hi or whatever. I don't even work in any computer science related job. I'm a fucking welder.

I have aspirations one day to be just like you nerds. I fall asleep at my desk almost every night taking random online programming classes which I lose interest halfway through to some OTHER class and redo the same shit.

Is this what it's like to be smart?

Reading programmer stuff on reddit:

"C# onlY woRkZ on MicRoSoft aNd m0n0 suCks"

Someone else:

"Dude, .net core has been out for a while what are you talking about?"

Them:

"OMg I diDNt Kn0W thaT!!"

Really guys?? Its been out forfuckingEver....

this is the thing. People talk shit, spread misinformation, and just looo amazingly ignorant without trying to figure shit out properly first.

Dear Customer,

I think you misunderstand the reason I sent you some documents for review.

I sent the examples to you so that you could see what your inputs produced.

I didn't send them to you so that you could fart out your mouth and about what you want like a little kid.

If there's shit on the page it is because you put that shit in the system ....

Please have someone else who is going to put a little bit of effort into this 'super important project' contact me.

Also bullet points don't work like this:

- Here I talk about a thing but
- and here I continue that thought with no context and incomplete sentences
- Also this is unrelated.
- But this is about the first bullet point again.
- Here I repeat another bullet point but I say it in a completely different way.

Seriously anyone who doesn't use english names for variables and shit, get the fuck out! I don't care how many dicks you sucked, don't fucking do it!

I'm working on redoing a somewhat big database with a small team and the fuckers who designed the new database decided to use danish names everywhere and misspell shit! What the fuck are you doing!

Who the fuck calls it a birthdate? and misspells the danish equivalent?

And what the fuck is this, using _id and ID like they are the fucking same thing!?!

For the love of all that is holy, stick to english, one naming convention and check your crap spelling!

AARGH!

Senior: I've been programming for a long time. I know JavaScript.

Me to myself: I've seen your code, it is shit.

Senior: (builds JSON with string concatination)

Me to myself: ...

What am I to do? The system is full of stuff like this, and minimal support from management to fix and rewrite.

This seems like a 100% legit answer to me...

(Yes this is what i actually sent and not just a shit meme)

So I found a HDD in a trash bin, plugged it to a USB, and I found this while browsing shit

Either its previous owner is hiding something or is just a lonely man and promptly forgot where his ahem... interesting stuff was stored.

I only backuped what I need and erased the damn thing btw, its now a spare drive

[shit energiya] (щит энергия) — is “shield energy” in Russian. This is what happens when you transliterate carelessly

😤😤😤

4-Stars-Hotel? My ass!!! This fucking shit of WiFi connection only serves like 10 requests then breaks. What the fuck is this shit?

Why is a damn WiFi connection in Germany like searching for water in the desert?

I fucking hate this hotel. You cunts ruin my fucking week.

!rant
I just started to use Fira Code as my main font because another awesome user recommended it and I must say, this shit is beautiful. This is what I love about this community. I learn more and get to know more cool shit because of what users say in here than the 5 years I spent at uni. You ninjas rock!

Me:
*decompiles swf*
*thinks: "what is this shit?"*
*scrolls down*
*finds variable named "randomShit"*

HOW IS IT AUGUST 1 RIGHT NOW

2019 ENDS SOON BUT IT STARTED LIKE YESTERDAY

WHAT IS HAPPENI

WHY IS TIME GETTING FASTER THE OLDER YOU GET?

JUST FCK OFF THIS IS NOT NORMAL

I GOTTA HURRY TF UP AND DO SOME SHIT WITH MY LIFE BEFORE TIME RUNS OUT☠️☠️☠️💨💨🌬

For those of you retards that post shit like:

"fuck"

"well I hate this"

or similar shit that only you understand in the hopes that someone goes and asks you what is wrong: fuck off with that attention seeking bullshit.

Seriously, even it your shit is tech dev related, just fucking post it you attention seeking shitstain.

Or fuck off all together from the app to begin with.

"ThE FIrsT ThiNg a Pr0GraMmer saYs whEn hE iZ b0Rn iZ HELlo w0Rld"

Damn, that is

So
Fucking
Funny

I wonder. Do the people that find this shit amusing are just discovering what programming is? Shit is so fucking cringey man.

We want to improve the portal by making apps for it what can you do or recommend?

Well holy shit this is new you're actually asking the dev team for advice on a future project.

Normally you immediately go to a third party waste a shit ton of money and then tell us we have a week to add whatever it is into our system.

Then when we can't do it or have to delay other projects you're dragging our manager into a meeting with the CEO complaining that IT are refusing to cooperate or are holding up the project etc.

The change of heart is much appreciated but where the fuck did this come from? New year resolution?

FUCKING SHIT ! IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL A QUALITY REPO ?

FUCKING NODE_MODULES IN YOUR FUCKING REPO ?

You haven't actually *begun* to learn anything until you've shouted FUCK THIS SHIT (or some variation) out loud at least once.

The anger is what makes it stick in your memory.

Wtf y'all see shitposting and then you decide to continuously upvote it.

Look retards. Part of being a Computer Scientist, or whatever shit branch you are part in this vast field...is detecting patterns....if you see some dickwad shitposting the same shit over and over or using fucking retarded ass themes, or some jase shit then downvote the shit out of it.

Fuck me.

Someone can make his theme to be just posting ascii penises and you retards would upvote that shit to oblivion.

Stupid ass community.

"THeN lEave" <--- i was prob here before you dickhead....go suck on cock somewhere else.

Damn y'all are fucking idiotic...this what happens when we make retards believe they can be engineers

diploma || certificate == "I am somehow warranted to write shit and get away with it"
## WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING WORLD?!!!!

Battery consumption in 6 months.
Logic vs Apple.

This is what you get when you fill a consumer electronic company with a shit load of designers and 0 qualified electrical engineer.

What the fuck is this shit

What is the longest time you spent for a single bug fix?

3 days and going here, this piece of shit doesn't seem to reveal itself until I go bald and be a psychopath. 😲

"We need you to give 110% so that the total is greater than the sum of the parts... Eg: 1 + 1 > 2"
You're addressing a team who use logic to make you money. What the fuck are we supposed to do with this shit?
1 + 1 > 2?
false
Fuck off.

Believe it or not… This means shit is doing what it is supposed to…

EDIT: Sorry for length web client users .-.

You know what, fuck microshit to fuck town and back again.

What part of disabling "allow the computer to turn of this device to save power"

DO YOU NOT FUCKIJG UNDERSTAND!

MY FUCKING USB'S ARE GOING FUCKING MENTAL SWITCHING ON AND OFF LIKE A DRUNKEN HOBO YOU COCK FUCKS.

my week is a complete and utter shit of a week as it is, I don't need this bullshit on top of it too.

#Microsoft, fix your fucking shit already!

First time ever implementing an Android app from scratch (coming from C++ but also worked with C# and Python): WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT???

*wondered for 4 years how a bootloop looks like*
Nexus: yOU wAnE kNoW wHaT a BoOtLoOp LoOkS LiKe?!

*bootloops itself to shit*

Well I guess that I know what I'll be doing tonight then. Flash that new StatixOS build because the phone shat itself.

*tries to reflash the recovery*
*still bootloops*
*tries to flash the stock OS*
*still fucking bootloops*
*finds a post on XDA saying something about fucked big cores that need to be disabled*

Fucking piece of junk. So not only the battery is shit, but also the CPU is shit, huh. Certified pieces of shit.

*flashes the patched boot.img that disables the big cores*
*phone loads Google logo.. good*
*BOOTLOOPS FUCKING AGAIN*

MJHUIETHNIUBESZPTUIBG ESVGU d

FUCK!!! Fuck you Google, fuck you Nexus, fuck you Huawei, HOW DIFFICULT CAN IT BE TO DESIGN A FUCKING PHONE?!!!

So yeah. Looking for suggestions for a new phone. Anything of which the kernel source is released and of which the battery is halfway decent (unlike this fucking piece of shit) should do.

SWIFT!!!!! I understand that you're a relatively new language so I forgave you for all of your wrong doings..BUT WHAT THE FINGER IS THIS SHIT YOU HAVE IMPLEMENTED IN YOUR STRING DATATYPE? WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU FORM A CHARACTER FROM AN EMPTY STRING? AND WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HAPPENED TO THE SUBSCRIPT OPERATOR? WHY NOT JUST ADOPT THE "\0" AS OTHER LANGUAGES? But NOOOOO...We're Apple we'll not adopt it..I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT STUPIDITY AND LUCK OF INNOVATION RAN IN THE IPHONE TEAM BUT APPARENTLY ITS EVERYWHERE..Its annoying because the String datatype is one of the most common and basic data types so the last thing you expect is this shit..APPLE........SERIOUSLY AND SINCERELY FUCK OFF

Adobe will end-of-life Flash by 2020, and all big Browsers are joining this by disabling Flash features slowly

Let's make a petition to end-of-life Electron, it is basically Flash for Desktops and it is A RESOURCE-HUNGRY LAZINESS-PROMOTING PIECE OF SHIT THAT SHOULD IMMEDIATELY BE REMOVED FROM THIS VERY PLAnet.. what do you think about that particular idea?

#StopElectron2017smhOkayAtLeastBy2020Please

Oh, shit, someone wanted dev help or contributors after programming for decades. Shit. That is trolling. THANK YOU N()()B

(@wojtek322) >He he gooosh im sooo nu here
>Is this talk about CODING on DEVRant what you do?
(@wojtek322) >TEHEEHE!
>Maybe I'm a girl you could dig the fuck out
>Maybe not
>But I'll act like one
(@wojtek322) >TEEEHEE HEEE
>So uhhhmmm this talk of C programing language and actual concrete issues
>That's like, uhh, trolling rite?
>Not what you guys are about
-OFCOURSE NOT MAM!, OR TRAN!
-WE ARE NOT ABOUT THAT
(@wojtek322) >Teheheee ok gr8 thx!

A kid that went to my daughter's preschool class died (they are in the 3-4 years old range)

The parents still don't know what their kid died from some virus.

They said the kid became braindead so I'm guessing meningitis?

Meanwhile we're pretty scared, and unsure if we should keep sending our kid.

I'm very disappointed in the way the school handled this, like no quarantine, no fucking notice on our kid's book about how they're going to deal with this.

Fucking piece of shit school.

Everyone on the whatsapp group is sad, saying religious shit. Hello!!!! Can I know what this kid died from so my kids don't die too????

I feel sad for the parents and the kid but... everyone is reacting in a very stupid way to this.

Like no one's gonna even fucking ask if this kid went to class this week and potentially passed it to other kids?

Fuck this dumbass mediocre country.

" this page uses cookies"
"We've updated our privacy policy"
*30 sec full screen ad* OR "please turn off your adblocker and refresh"
"Would you like to take a survey?"
"Click to read more"
"You've reached your free articles for the month. Please subscribe!"

Jesus fucking Christ! Is it such a sin to read articles in peace? How does anybody use your shitty site. How does anybody PAY for your shitty site?! Fuck your articles. Why do companies think this is a good model?!

Do you know what i hate most?

... commented old code!

What is the fucking purpose to comment old code IF YOU ARE USING A VERSION CONTROL SYSTEM?????

Commented old code is shit, because it fucks the readibility! I saw entire class full of this shit!

DELETE IT, YOU DON'T LOSE IT YOU MORON!!!!

Can people just fucking stop using "hacked" as a synonym for "my password has been found out"? Even devs do this shit! Devs should know better about what a "hacked" account is.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?

Next idiot who starts talking about all the "freetards" who use open source software, how "terrible" FOSS "obviously" is - is going to die a humiliating death as I bludgeon them with a steel box full of Linux distro thumb drives.

Don't bother bailing me out either. I'll do it again and again.

Java script is like an angry girlfriend who won't tell you what is wrong.
This shit happened today.

Me: somearray.includes[stuff];
JS: I'm alright everything is fine.
Me: no it's not, Clearly the feature is not working.
JS:* silence*
Me: Fine be that way.. * spends lot of time debugging finally finds the issue*...oh shit.
Me: somearray.includes(stuff);
JS: I SAID NO TRAILING SPACE IN END OF THE LINE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT NO TRAILING FUCKING SPACES AAAAHHHH!!!

"Condor, your new Samsung Galaxy S8+ doesn't have the latest Google apps"

You know what Google? I don't give a shit about your latest apps. Often times I go out of my way to root the device and remove your mandatory bloatware, that YOU fucking Google enforce OEM's to preinstall. Fortunately BlueStacks doesn't have them preinstalled, which saves me the pain of uninstalling them. Given that, you've got quite the balls to spam me with this shit Google.

By the way, another thing.. this preinstall shit is linked to the EU antitrust rulings, isn't it? And spam is linked to GDPR, and honestly I don't recall ever opting in to this kind of wanketeering mail. In fact, I usually go out of my way to opt out of this kind of corporate wankery. Time for another huge fine perhaps?

Someone talk to me while I am busy.

Him: I think this table is in the wrong place.
Me:... Excuse me, I didn't hear you, what did you say?
Him: it's in the wrong place..

WHAT is in the wrong place motherfucker.. I didn't hear the whole sentence.. what the shit..

Someone else or it's just me?

What is this, what the fuck is this shit?!!
Are you actually serious Google? Android Studio my ass...
The compat joke is a good one...

Holy fucking shit! What the actual fuck is this?!!!

The funny part: this is not the worst e-mail I got from them, the person who is responsible for these e-mails should have been fired 2 years ago.

I hate when shit that is irrelevant and has 0 value makes it to news sites.

For example, TechCrunch today: Former FBI Director James Come changes Twitter handle". Ok? I give literally 0 fucks because guess what: HIM CHANGING HIS FUCKING TWITTER HANDLE DOESN'T MEAN SHIT. THIS ISN'T FUCKING NEWS. IT'S FUCKING GOSSIP.

Wasted 7 hours for this:
import moment from 'moment'

Should be:
var moment = require('moment')

What happened? When app running in debug mode all is working without issues! When generating release APK, it crashes when using moment

Fucking hybrid shit apps...

So I just wanted to log back into windows. Typed in the password. Wrong password...
Then I tried being super accurate while typing and also checked keyboard layout, etc. Still, wrong password.
Then I noticed that the letter p is not working. Shit, keyboard seems to be broken.
On screen keyboard -> p is not working...

What the hell? What kind of error is this?

NT Kernel code has to be something like this:
if(timeSinceLastError > someValue)
keyboard.p.enable = false;

I guess you could also replace the keyboard error with some random error.

If you encounter this, restart Windows.

y'know, if your coworkers annoy the shit out of you, sometimes it's worth looking at how the company is treating them.

a lot of what i have to deal with spans from an environment that demands speed at the expense of quality and won't reward developers for their effort, cause they simply don't understand the effort it takes. we have a tiny team responsible for a nation wide program, and people are just shocked when they hear this, because the work we do is in fact amazing for a group of 5. everyone is just tired, overworked and badly recompensed for it. this shit will hit the fan pretty soon

??????????????????? What??????

???? What???????

I couldnt solve a bug for hours.
Hours of googling.
Hours of mental trainwreck.
Hours of stress.
1:28 am.

I cant solve it.

HOLD ON I HAVE AN IDEA.

ChatGPT AI. HELP ME.

i copy and pasted the part of code thats bugging me. Keep in mind that this is a VERY large and robust system and this is just tiny percentage of code.

I told the AI to help me fix this shit bug.

ChatGPT literally explained me what the bug is as if im retarded and wrote code how to fix it.

LOOK AT THE SCREENSHOT U CANT EVEN MAKE THIS SHIT UP

HOW????

You guys wanna know why I rage so much at the 🤡🤡🤡's I work with?

I shit you not, this is a ticket in our "to do" section of our Jira.

what even is ticket linking??!?!?

what even are tickets??!?!?!

or better yet.... what even the fuck is jira?!?!?! I've only been using it for over a year, give me some time to figure out how to use it!!!!!!

I don't know, maybe i'm the asshole. But at least I don't feel like a 🤡

We do infra as a code, and one of my coworker worked on the project alone. Few months down the road, when shit hits the fan, he just message me this is not working.

First of all, I did not write that shit, and also I was never part of the conversation during the decision making. So when shit hits the fan what do you expect me to do? Do some black magic and fix it magically???

Teaching JavaScript to a master of classical programming (only uses C++, Python, Ruby, etc.). Here are the results:

1. What
2. What the fuck
3. Why
4. Why the fuck
5. Oh shit that's useful
6. Oh shit that's stupid
7. Why would anyone do that
8. Why isn't anyone else doing that
9. This is crazy complex
10. This is stupid easy

Facebook you little piece of shit.
We have a page setup for a band since apparently this is what one does these days. But oh boy is facebook annoying. Can you please stop sending me 100 notifications a day about fking post boosting?! What the fuck. We are students we don't have money for this shit. fk off! <.<

Boss: -We're firing one of our freelancers and you are taking over one of his projects.
Me: -OK, what is it?
Boss: Old POS project written in Java.
Me: -But I'm C# developer. I haven't touched Java in years!
Boss: -You'll manage...

FML I've managed to finish and fully refactor this piece of shit project.

Fuck.
Fuck this shit
Fuck. What the hell is this?
What the fuck????
Fuck this place.
How the hell is it even possible??
Fuck all. M leaving.
.
.
.
.
A snapshot of my workday nowadays.

-= Me in the zone hacking out code during meeting with customer for an emergency change =-

-ready to deploy just need to....-

Me to myself:

"Oh ... oh shit ... I forgot who the customer is / who this is for / what time it is ... how do I ask these people on the call who the fuck they even are....?"

(｀_´)ゞ

okay, i'm still a newbie to (unmanaged) C++, but looking at a colleague's code, what the hell is all this cryptic shit 😵 all this unreadable templating stuff + typedefs, 8 different copy operators in one class, i'm getting headaches just looking at it

Holy shit.

I went to uninstall Adobe Acrobat because our organization uses another PDF reader and now I keep getting annoying pop-ups from Adobe like "update failed" and "license expired".

This PDF READER... USES 7.1 GIGABYTES OF STORAGE.

We talk about Video games being bloated today but HOLY FUCK. This is literally JUST A PDF READER WHAT THE FUCK.

Can't do screenshot cus work PC.

You stupid lousy price of potato shit windows, yes that’s right - this pissed of windows user is pissed the fuck right off.

Here I am letting you sit there idling along and then I press the start button, you know that fucking button I press regularly for fucking years, only for you to go “fuck you, I’m going to blue screen instead” like what the flying fuck? There hasn’t been any updates in a while that I’ve noticed but this shit is just a shit.

So what ever, let’s reboot this mother fucker, oh wait now you can’t fucking boot, I can hear the hdd spinning a million miles an hour (coz non ssd) but noooo your just going to sit there like a dumb ass prick who doesn’t know what the fuck your doing.

So fine, let’s pull out that old USB with w10 on it and do a MBR repair... (coz nothing else will fucking work in your shit list of options) ok so apparently an MBR repair gets you booting.. but wait there’s more, now you useless piece of shit are going to run a scan disk which has sat at 0% for the past 20 minutes and I don’t think I’m ever going to see that fucker move, I get it you want to do something useful, but Fucking Do it already!

Like wtf, how does a stable system just decide to shit itself.

Oh and before you say it.. no I can’t install Linux on this piece of shit, see my previous rants for that problem.

try {
// something
} catch (SomeException e) {
}

Swallowed Exception.. what the fuck is wrong with you?! And I see this shit in a lot of places in the code!

Don't you just hate when your boss goes like:
"Why isn't this feature working?"

SHIT FUCK, IF I KNEW THE REASON, MAYBE I WOULD HAVE FIXED THAT SHIT, INNIT?

WHAT KIND OF FUCKING QUESTION IS THAT?

"Well you should have tested better"

IT TOOK A MONTH FOR 1 USER TO SEE THAT BUG, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? YOU EXPECT ME TO SEE THAT BUG IN THE FEW HOURS OF TESTING I CAN ACTUALLY DO FOR THIS PROJECT?

"There also are other 15 project to get done"

FUCK THIS SHIT

This is not fucking security, it's obscurity! What the fuck is a memorable word without any context! It drives me up the fucking wall. This doesnt help anyone it just promotes people to put silly shit like password or something so they won't forget but it just makes their account weaker.

I am really sick and tired of this shit.
I meet a really nice girl and we strat sending messages to each other. After a while she ask what i am studying i tell her Game Development.
And then she ask me o so you can hack. And poof the image that she is the perfect just disapears

So I just decided I'd hotspot my phone to my laptop (as I have no WiFi) and stream a film I've wanted to watch for a while.

Turns out my shite ass mobile provider wants credit card details to prove I'm over 18.

I'm sorry, what?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU NOSY OVER CONTROLLING SHIT STAINS! THAT IS A PARENT'S JOB, NOT YOURS.

fucking hell. What is wrong with this fucking race?

Oh, and I can't torrent it because that's blocked too.

I mean what is this shit? Html in the link field. Misspelled USA. Wtf... They're getting lazy.

FUCK COMPOSER SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT

FUCK COMPOSER

It's 28°C and the fucking (2015)macbook's metal body is running at atleast 70, burning my legs and making the inside temperature even worse ..

And Im only running Idea and Chrome...

Why have you designed a hellish tool like this instead of a normal laptop? What good is it to me that It's so slim and mobile if I have to have it on a table to avoid having 2nd degree burns on a daily basis?!

Seriously, what the fuck... I didn't ask for this shit, but my company requires me to use this "secure" laptop... Fuck everyone that was involved in this laptops design!!!

Why the shit is WebDev getting so complicated? It’s like everyone is just trying to show how smart they are instead of finding the simplest way to solve a problem. Or maybe I’m just too dumb to figure out what all this new shit does.

Manager: yo I need a time line for this shit.
Me: I don't know how long it takes.
Manager: tell me how long it takes.
Me: I can tell you what can be done in next couple hours. I don't even know what will happen tomorrow.
Manger: now tell me this time shit.
Me: .......

Seriously, dear fellow ranter. How do you estimate timeline? Your timeline is changing.

Windows is so bad, their users are actually upset instead of happy with every new software update. What kind of masochistic shit is this?

Why does node-sass have such garbage documentation?!
I've now spent over an hour trying to get a clear and concise answer to how that shit works, and what do I get? This: (see picture)

I don't know what any of that means, nor do they care to tell me.
I don't want to render this shit at runtime, I want it to compile the sass code when I make changes to it so my app doesn't get boggled down by unnecessary background processes.
But nooo of course not.
To top it off, the "easy" electron-compile solution doesn't even fucking compile because all its dependencies are either outdated or 404 on me. 😡

It's shit like this that makes me hate web-style development. Lacking documentation and people who just assume everything is logical and clear from the start. It's fucking not.

Okay. For fuck sakes, writing complex code that's meant to handle "everything" and is "super generic" can be a fuck up. Like just keep shit simple. THAT is the show of great and impressive work. Over engineering is not it. Yes your shit works and yes your shit is fancy but was it needed? How long did it even take you for this over kill? How long will it take the next person to understand or not.
Someone now has to sit and run through your shit to get what you were doing. Instead of just being able to look and once and have it all figured out.
Keep things simple.
Lost 2 hours on bullshit 🤬

Please tell me something wrong with me, and whole world is working like that! It can't be right! Or could it, and I'm just one sad fuck who don't know shit?

So... We've got:
1. Jira reporting (agile style with cards and shit)
2. Task timers (via application integrated to Jira in order to count how much time we spent on a task)
3. End of the day email reporting with description of what we have done today (Jira is not enough?)
4. Daily morning meetings with a team leader to report what we're gonna do today
5. Git merge code reviews for each finished component (that lasts for hours)
6. Weekly status meetings
7. Working hours reporting with a fucking fingerprint

And on top of all of that, the developer is the one who just writes the code - team leader decides how this code is gonna look, what will be written first and what last, what libraries will be used and so on...

What the fucking fuck you bastard of an OS? Your fucking filthy "Copying" dialog box!

One of these days, I am gonna fuck you up in the ass so hard, you are gonna see Gates flying!

I am copying a file from CD in to my PC. At 97%, this shit hole of an OS says through it's fucking urine hole of a "Copying" dialog box: "An unexpected error is keeping you from copying this file. Try Again/Skip/Cancel"

Seriously?! It's 2018, and an unexpected error is keeping me from copying the file?! Where the fuck is your QA?

I, being an unreasonably optimistic human with this Billy fucker, click "Try Again".

What happens? You know very well what happens. This shit of an OS starts copying the file again! From 0%!

This is the second time, this bloody, filthy, fucking "Copying" dialog box has given me problems.

I am telling you, it's days are numbered in my PC. The countdown starts now.
.
.
.
It happened again! At fucking 97%! I just want to scream now.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

Twitter has become just like Facebook now, where if you click on something interesting and then press the back button everything will be fucking gone. this shit is horrendous and not how webbrowsers work. I don't know what apeshit thought of this but it needs to stop. The back button takes me back to where I was. not to new content.

I think this a perfect anecdote of where tech is going nowadays:

I moved my bowels on one of those high-tech Japanese toilets: it allowed you to control the seat temperature, cleaned your butt with spray (with an additional "ladies" mode), had several modes of flushing (1, 2, and "eco"), automatically lifted and closed the lid, played some music for you, had a remote controller for you to flush your shit at a distance.

But, guess what, IT DIDN'T FLUSH SHIT. It pathetically trying to flush my shit with 1000 different kinds of puny jets and draining modes but my heap of shit always bounced back because its flush was so weak that it couldn't push it.

I don't care if the seat warmer went out of control and burned my ass or if the butt cleaning jet didn't reach my anus,
JUST DO WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO AND FLUSH MY SHIT.

!dev

What kind of a motherfucking city is this! (Mumbai) Every fucking road has a shit ton of traffic and no one gives a shit about people walking nearby. An asshole drove over my foot while I was crossing the road, motherfucker. Traffic signals not working, no traffic constables to see anything. And people talk and keep telling this is the spirit of Mumbai. Shitty infrastructure is the spirit of Mumbai. Fuck everyone!

FUCK!
After submitting a registration form I noticed the site is served over plain HTTP. Their marketing site is served encrypted, but login and register are not! What the fuck!!!

Fuck everyone who does this stupid fucking shit with disregard to basic security features! Their goddamn bullshit privacy policy is bragging about how it's top priority to protect their customers' information and shit like that. Get the fuck out, cunts!!

I contacted them so I might have a continuation to this rant if I'm not satisfied with their answers.

Goddamn it!

Fucking shit uni is such a waste of time. We are learning Apache Spark in Big Data module. Fucking losers have Spark 1.6.0 installed while the latest version is 2.2.1 right now.

What a bunch of cunts. We are paying tons of money to study deprecated shits and a degree. A fucking degree that is not even on a piece of paper anymore.

Fuck this shit man.

Please bug test your websites heavily. Don't be like this.
Should be mentioned, under normal circumstances this never hits more than 500 MB (still way too much for what it is). However, I somehow got the website to absolutely shit itself and cause this amazing sight to behold (2.6GB/4GB used by the website alone.)

I believe this was caused by some poorly coded JavaScript, subsequently causing a memory leak.

(Yeah I have 2 browsers open so what?)
(Also taken with a shitty camera then also edited. Lost the original because I'm an idiot.)

In a forum far far away...
<user> I need help understanding something about this library.
<various users> This is how it works. This is something to consider. Here is a good way to learn all of this. etc Really helpful people.
<user> I would say more about what I want to do, but I don't want to receive any more "mouthful of unsolicited advises ".

Really? You fucking ask a question on a forum about what you want to learn. Everyone there takes it seriously and provides some really golden shit on how to learn the topic. Then you shit on them for daring to provide ways to learn the topic?

I don't know if this is a language barrier, or if they are using Google translate. I have no idea. But they come across as an asshole.

What kind of cancerous shit is this? Who the fuck writes special template file for CLOSING divs? Why is this crappy shitty system so popular? It is a bunch of quirky and tangled code written randomly all over the folder.. Wtf seriously, is this "modern coding" or am I missing something?

What the fuck is up with interviewing these days. Now I have to invent a video game and work for free for ten hours just to find out I have no idea what the fuck video programming has to do with frontend. You kids need to figure this shit out. It’s really fucking annnoying.

I don't wanna hear anyone dismissing college education, specially from people that can't do asymptotic analysis and have no clue what a pointer is. It's not fine. What do you think people spend 4+ years studying for? For this shit? There's a reason why a diploma has a weight, it's not just decoration.

I get it that the american educational system is fucked up and you guys have to pay a shit ton of money for it, but you can't just pretend it's worth nothing.

How diminishing it is to hear people shit on a life long struggle to get where i am today. I had to study a ton to get into college, and I'm still pouring my blood and mental health into my studies, only for some random to say that a youtube tutorial is worth the same.

what an absolute condescending garbage post...

"brilliant coder who can't meet a deadline"? well, you're the idiot right there, you just admitted it - they are brilliant and you don't know how to set deadlines

imagine labeling someone who can't meet a workload DIFFICULT! god this is making me fucking fume

"normal management" - yeah this is normal management alright, treating everyone like they don't know what they are doing and expecting them to follow you blindly, sounds pretty normal to me

it's shit like this that leads to cocky ass young dumb managers who actually don't know shit about building a product themselves, but then turn around and think they instead have the ability to manage a team to do it... incredible

Yay, now I know what that windows update was about... oh no, this isn't another "fuck windows, update broke shit again" post.

This is a "wtf, you dodgey shit bags" kind of post, "you" managed to install Skype, install this stupid ducking "meet now" service - which is fucking hidden (anyone have any pointers? Google's not doing its job yet), and now I have to uninstall office completely to remove Skype 🤦‍♂️

Why won't you fuckers let it go, didn't we ALL move to teams recently?

"Mh, I should just write a short comment instead of writing a novel"

// This is a fucking detailed explaination of this shit, even though you can clearly see what it does because I usually write clean code. Also, it's a one-line comment, so have fun side-scrolling

Just switched to Kotlin.. For the first like 10 minutes I was like "What is this shit?!" and then I found Java to Kotlin converter and docs. Yay! Looks like it´s not gonna be that hard to do some apps in it.. Hopefully

What I learned from devrant:
There is someone, somewhere, that will upvote the stupidest shit.

Which I find both terrifying and humorous. This is not a criticism nor a putdown. I find people fascinating. I also realize that my definition of "stupidest shit" is very subjective. This is definitely the most "fun" forum I have been on in a long time.

What is this shit Apple, are you kidding me?

Don't you guys feel like sometimes we make a huge deal in regards to what is basically grabbing a bunch of shit from a db and making it display on a flipping website?

I sometimes feel bored at how repetitive this shit is. Its the same shit, with various degrees of complexity to do that get data and post data or update data.

I dunno man, sometimes i just feel like there is too much for something that is inherently simple.

FUCK YOU Visual Studio, didn't you ever hear about asynchronous behavior? like WHY THE HELL you have to freeze every single thing to complete a shitty task, I just need to copy/open file..

Microsoft, Xamarin, and MAC Agent.. WHAT FUCKING POSSIBLY COULD GO WRONG.

{AND NO, MY LAPTOP IS NOT SHIT, this happens only with shitual studio}

You know it is gonna be "fun" integrating client APIs, when all of them respond with
"Thanks for submitting the request"
And no error or status code whatsoever, no matter what you send.

Also, the client likes to test/call this API in Internet explorer address bar, and doesn't trust Postman. Amazing shit dude.

What could be more annoying than signing out of all accounts to add a new one because I've reached the threshold. This logic is shit!

if false? if false what? (false is just not defined, but this is the sort of shit I come across in the twig-theme-saas world, makes me angry)

When bugs are seen by the client and boss therefore asks me "did you know about this bug?", what I'd really like to answer is:
"well shit, no! I would have solved that or at least told you about it, don't you think? what kind of fucking question is that?"

But then I just answer "no, lemme check"

So fucking tired of priority shifting. How the hell is anyone supposed to get shit done with 500 fucking meetings and between each one you're told do something different?

This is critical you must do it now! No this!

My response, fuck you I'm going home my head hurts let me know what you'd like me to code and when you've decided add a day for annoying me.

This is some real shady shit...
I was trying to set my office 365 account we got from school to gmail in my phone and this is what it wants to be able to do. In summary (Dutch screenshots):
- It can disable important safety features,
- Lock me out of my phone at any moment,
- Encrypt all data,
- Or just erase all of it
- And watch me while they do it

Nice.

Fucking hell my ISP gave me a router and a modem (was expecting a modem that is a router, like is at my parents house with the same ISP).

The router is absolute dog shit. My connection drops every 5 minutes or so, and sometimes every minute (give or take 10 seconds). And the signal struggles in my bedroom, even though the router is about 10 feet away from me.

What the fuck piece of garbage is this?

Yo i know this shit is discussed way too often, but it kills me from the inside:

In that one coding class we get some source files where only the function bodies are missing (i know, sounds childish).. but it uses this style

function()
{
...
}

I fuCKING HATE THIS GODDAMN RETURN THERE WHAT THE HELL WHO FINDS THIS BULLSHIT AESTHETIC ALL SPACEY SO YOU SCROLL YOUR ASS OFF WHEN FILES GET LONGER THAN 2 FUNCTIONS?😔

So I'm approaching a 8 year anniversary working in IT and this feels like the first time needing to do a serious rant.

Today I've come across some code (infact just a single line) written by another company that is so fucking fundamentally stupid that they should be banned from writing any code ever. Like holy fuck.

This is textbook examples of shit never to do ever in any fucking environment or intranet/extranet etc. What the fuck. The fucking muppetry involved in this. This is what they teach novice programmers - you see this code written 20 years ago? Never fucking do this. You see this company that went bust 10 years ago? It was because of shit like this. Never ever write code like this or your 90kg ass will be thrown 300m by the greatest medieval fucking siege engine ever created after we throw you through the catastrophic gaping hole in time and space that your line of code just created.

Fucking fuckity bye.

My current internet provider....

WHY THE FUCK IS MY WIRED INTERNET CONNECTION SLOWER THAN MY PHONE ON WIRELESS! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING BULLSHIT IS THIS US ISPs I PAY YOU A SHIT TON OF MONEY SO YOU CAN INVEST IN INFUSTRUCTURE AND FUCKING GET ME GOOD SPEEDS! NOT FUCKING BLOW IT ALL ON YOUR EXECUTIVE BONUSES!

So I'm taking embedded systems subject in my masters course. They have mixed this subject's content with electrical engineering and I'm a computer science graduate. Everything was perfect until I reached to GPIO board.
Wtf is this shit?
Why it has so many holes and what are they for?
What I'm supposed to do with it?
What is ground? Transistor?
Why I'm connecting to two pins only instead of the 4 pins of a button?

Thanks to pi4j i think i will pass the subject!

Why isn't this ready for testing yet?

Could it be that despite multiple meetings emails and face to face conversations none of you have provided me with what I actually need?

Yes I can create you new email and SMS campaigns. But I need two little things first.
1 The template text.
2 The sign off forms from compliance

Without them I can't do shit. So stop chasing me on where we're at because I've been chasing you on this for two weeks.

This shit here is why I'm the grumpy It guy.

Yesterday I had a phone screening with a hiring manager and was expected to talk about more of my expertise and just my experience overall. With four years of experience, I thought I could tell her everything she needed to know.

However, this interview was just kind of... weird. Literally every question she asked was defintiions. It was as if I was doing a short answer quiz.

"What is object-oriented programming?"
"What is a hashmap versus a list?"
"What is class inheritance?"

Like... What the fuck. These are questions that give no insight into who I am or how I work. This is shit you see on a second-year midterm exam. What a waste of time.

15 min Java Coding Challenge - Reverse Words in a String on YouTube.
My eyes are bleeding.

So if anyone has visited slant.co they will know the website is overrun with this shit...

What the flying fuck is wrong with these people?

We are not ready, I won't sign on this shit I said!

Release on Friday, what could go wrong? All unit tests passed they said!

It's Tuesday and shit is still broken!

FML

<html><body>shit everywhere<meta>more shit</meta></meta><\meta>countles garbage code lines</body><head>[copy&pasted html code that actually works <img ... />]Tons of shitload</body></body></html>

Me: what are you reading?
PM: some email code that doesn't render well in the browser...
Me: let me see... OMFG!!!! who was the author of this garbage?
PM: Oh! it is not that bad! It was working well 'till today...
Me: But... but... this is really bad! you can't send this to customers!
PM: I think that the problem is the "/" at the img's end...

True story.

Rust is beautiful. Rust is also extremely difficult to understand. What the fuck are lifetimes?! I’ve never seen this shit before in my life.

Been on a Android dev meetup yesterday.
Guy in front of me started solving exercises of Graph Theory on his laptop.
I took a peek to see what this shit is all about(I have never studied for a CS degree).

Holy moley this is some scary shit. How the fuck you people study this.

when you read an awesome @practiseSafeHex rant and share it on Slack

OMFG WHAT-THE-ACTUAL-F

this is soooo fucking broken, my eyes now have many relations to periods

shit... @DevRant fix dat...

Like who the fuck uses tables anymore for websites. like Fuck. what the fuck is wrong with this company. then uses InDesign to make the websites and slices the images in Photoshop. this isn't the fucking stone ages. upgrade your shit. fucking design team wanna be responsive but fucking to lazy. so I have deal with their shit. when they complain about fucking image Sizes. I fucking hate this company.

FUCK EVERY PERSON IN THIS SHIT BANK!! FFS THE IDIOTS CREATED A NEW DATABASE USING SQL SERVER 2008! Yes, 2008 and its a new database if it was some type of legacy I could try to understand, but this shit is a completely new database. I have to use sequelize and guess what? It can't paginate results because shit server 2008 does not accept OFFSET FETCH syntax

What is fucking wrong with Windows? When shit doesn't respond it's impossible to kill it and it freezes other processes. NEVER happens in Linux, all I do is kill the PID. When you can't open task manager or "end the process" you are shit out of luck. You'd think they'd fix this in the decades they've had to built a computing platform. I'd use linux exclusively but some work and tools at my company necessitates windows.

GIT COMMMIT LOG VERSION 011
-------------------------
4cc7d0d Derp, asset redirection in dev mode
6b6e213 Lock S-foils in attack position
1e44549 I am even stupider than I thought
2f6bec9 You should have trusted me.
891851a To those I leave behind, good luck!
3367d77 Update .gitignore
46d6b0f Merging the merge
b12f6fe First Blood
0598e4f 8==========D
9151ff4 Finished fondling.
3a0ec1e ...
8358c20 c&p fail
bc1e834 magic, have no clue but it works
31bb17a I don't get paid enough for this shit.
21edb91 :(:(
7a71610 Stephen rebase plx?
2060661 Copy-paste to fix previous copy-paste
21ac5d2 Handled a particular error.
2dedd90 pam anderson is going to love me.
c3d4c83 omg what have I done?
d38bafd Herping the derp derp (silly scoping error)
e461773 Merge pull request #67 from Lazersmoke/fix-andys-shit Fix andys shit
1faf82b Is there an award for this?
1f6e3f3 Feed. You. Stuff. No time.
6f0097d I'm too old for this shit!
133179e I'm just a grunt. Don't blame me for this awful PoS.
d3e5202 harharhar
57d9a7c THE MEM TEST FUNCTION YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, IS HERE. SAY THANKS FOR THIS COMMIT MESSAGE

After about 7 hours continuous work in any one day, I’ve kinda had enough and noticed that work beyond this point is usually shit. I stopped trying and think fuck it now. Deadlines are mainly bollocks anyway. My life is a lot better because of it. Don’t do today what you can put off til tomorrow.Who’s with me?

Why React is soo complicated? Seriously why do we always need to use some stupid shit like this

const [state, setState] = useState();

what the fuck is this? Who designed it that way, why it should always look like shit for no reason? Why its API feels like spaghetti? When i am comparing other front-end frameworks they feel like heaven in their structure.

AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME HAVING A QUOTE ON A PARAGRAPH ELEMENT, WHY DO I HAVE TO USE FUCKING HTMLENTITES FROM 2000?

FUCK&apos;ERE

!dev

Reeeeddit is a strange place. You can be on an advice sub, answer the question and the OP agrees with your answer and people are still gonna downvote it.

What the actual basement dwelling neckbeard virgin fuck is this shit lol

You know what I really like? When apps override the scrolling behaviour...
Yes, I really want you to disable my scrolling settings and enforce your own goddamn scrolling logic, it's so great to have shit I'm used to being forcibly removed from me.
Biggest surprise is the latest place I've seen this is Unreal Engine :O Scrolling the news in the launcher is slow as fuck.

Legit my only answer to fixing shit code for a nursing app at work is.....

Writing more shit code. Man the dude that developed this before had 0 clue what he was doing.....and because shit grew out of control there is shitcode everywhere.

I like writing shit code though. It is good practice.

Writing shit code without knowing is one thing. You really do reach expert level when you write shit code WHILE being fully aware of it.

Dev: Woah look at this code! I might be a genius!

Also dev a few months later: Woah WTH is this shit? Was I totally dumb or what?

I think this is interesting and evil at the same time.

You make a huuuuuuuge(like...YUGE level) code base available to a lot of people marketing certain things at an enterprise level and for small companies to use. You make sure people implement a lot of shit with your stack.

Then you tell them that shit will cost money from now on.
And because they might already have a large codebase they can't just change it to whatevs.

Shit is brilliant, moronic and funny at the same time.

Wondering what Gosling is thinking about this whole deal.

If anything this whole thing will make people switch to the excellent OpenJDK platform more and more. I know that starting with Android N google had already moved to the OpenJDK.

Oh well. Wonder if this would make Java developers more vailable and hard to come by cuz I still love the Java programming language and like the monies.

And know I have no soul.

!school rant!

I have offically lost my entire faith, doesn't matter in what, point is that all of it.

We are literally learning about control panel and stuff... Basically the whole class is laughing, this teacher is bad shit crazy.

Fuck you Android Studio. You just prompted me to update, and now are saying The project is using an unsupported version of Gradle. Why the fuck did you not update Gradle (whatever the shit it is) yourself?

What was wrong with Eclipse? Why the fuck Google decided to move to this piece of crap?

this is motherfucking insane, that's why I hate microsoft and always will, fucking daddy will tell me what I can or can't (they do same shit to github and nuget) but look at this.

I don't give a fuck about unknown publisher, this is my PC, if I want to install a virus I want to install a virus! for fuck sake

How to make me not want to
ever contribute to you:

'Please read and sign this CLA'

( Also telling me that shit only whenI try
opening a PR, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU )

*random person in tram witha huge backpack* let's stand in the middle of the fking door, with my backpack towards the door so I clearly can't see if anyone is trying to get into the tram.

What the fuck is wrong with you? There is tons of space and even seats free what the actuall fuck just move along already! Jeez. What's wrong with people! At least stand at the side or something.
That's a new kind of shit. Don't get to see this every day.

Brazil is the country where companies spend the most to find out how much tax they should pay on a product. This process is so complicated that it consumes more than half of all software development professionals available. I'm one of them, and I can't stand working with this shit anymore. I have other projects, but I can never get rid of this niche that is more profitable. It sucks when even though you do what you love, you use it for such a stupid purpose, which is to calculate how much you should give to the government.

What the absolute fuck is this!
Fucking bash needs to get its shit together with its fucking strings.
I don't fucking know why str1 + var2 = var2tr1
Like who designed this fucking bullshit!

I've spent the past 8 hours today counting all my ' and " and making sure everything is getting passed correctly.

And how do you even google this shit anyways!

And why the fuck is the official suggestion from the bash FAQ to load everything into an array and to call it with "${ARRAY[@]}"

WHO THE FUCK DECIDED THAT WAS READABLE!!

AUGH!!!

In case anyone was wondering. It didn't work anyways.

I think I'm done for today... I can't anymore...

for anyone wondering. This is bash getting executed by nodejs with execSync()
and those tokens are temporary and only exist on my dev machine. Sorry for getting your hopes up.

company lands huge enterprise project
promises client to deliver it in MIN_TIME_REQUIRED/4

No architect, no technical lead, no seniors, no designer just juniors and interns in the project.

all the project time wasted by manager making shit decisions and not giving a fuck what devs have to say about how project will be disaster if goes like this.

Now the project is officially under raging fire

Boss to dev : What happend to the project. Why are things not working?
Dev: You made decisions not us.
Boss: I don't buy it. Work 24hrs until this is done.
Dev: F*** you and this project. I am resigning.

You know that feeling when the junior programmers do their job quickly, properly, and elegantly just like how you would have done it? :)

Yeeeeah, me neither. What the fuck is this dog shit?? God dammit! Why we have 2MB of CSS?? Do you even you this jQuery plugin?? What do you mean frontend.php and frontend2.php?? Why is this block of code indented all the way to the right?? "Just 1 bug left" OH REAAAAALLLYYYYY?

With the invention of pip every project done with python just fucken angers me. Like mostly nothing fucken works if there is a single .py file in there. You can put your easy-install.sh up your ass if it just ~tries~ to install shit via pip before because IT WONT WORK FUCK THIS SHIT!

STOP USING PYTHON FOR PROJECTS YOU RELEASE PLS CUS SHITS UNREADABLE AND WONT WORK ON MY MACHINE. MAKE ROOM FOR PROJECTS MANAGED BY NPM OR SHIT LIKE THAT WHERE `npm install` ACTUALLY DOES IT'S JOB THANKS I'M ANGRY AF.

WHAT DOES COLLECTING EVEN MEAN AND WHEN IS IT DONE DUDE?!

context: I'm sort of a self-deprecating guy and I really don't look for validation.

So, i decided to fuck it. I tried to provide the best decisions in terms of money-wise/biz-wise but apparently this guys rather choose what he believes is best for the code... (he knows shit of coding and that's coming from someone who is not a software engineer but rather a physicist who happens to code).
So, now i let him make all decisions. no opinion from me. a few things are going to shit because of him... fuck it. i had it. as long as I get paid. fuck him.

this is probably common... sorry for the rant.

Why is it that every god damned time, i ask questions until i have a clear view of a clients project and flow. I present them this flow. They OK it and everything. I build said flow in an app. And then at the end of the line i always end up with a shit codebase because i designed it to be like the documented flow, but changes were being added (and obviously paid for) all the time. I made such a neat little app. And now it all gone to shit.

Is this just me? Am i that bad at programming or what?!

Stop changing half of the app functionality after the original design is created!

Win10: your password has expired.
Me: ok *click*
Win10: oh btw I forgot which account has its password expired, so you have to write the account name
Me: ... Okay
Me: *resets password, then clicks next*
Win10: let me empty that form and let you redo everything without me showing you an error
Me: ....... Okay
Me: *same info*
Win10: sorry, can't find user "username"

Me: Ok you know what fuck off I'm restarting you
Win10: but I... *ded*

...

Win10: Hello Phlisg, please log in normally as usual

Me: what the fuck

---
Disclaimer: I use Linux, osx and windows ;)

Teammate has been slacking since a week: not joining standups, not joining calls, stuff like that. Upon asking , he does give info which is needed from him, over slack. He is a pretty good engineer and has won a company award this year.

Today manager scolded him pretty harshly. No direct slangs, but very rude tone and sentences like ‘do you need special invitation to your house to join this meeting?’ , ‘If you don’t want to work, just fuck all this shit’ and things along this line for 10 mins. Basically manager lost his shit completely.

I didn’t like the way he was treated. What options does my teammate have ? We’re based out of Hyderabad, India.

Fuck azure. Not even 2 hours in and this is the biggest bullshit I've seen. So fucking overcomplicated just to sign in and use the azure portal. Keep getting bombarded with random error messages when i try to create any fucking resource. Some tenant error no idea what that shit is. Annoying as fucjk

Why the fuck is the master almost constantly broken? And not even "some feature I'm working on doesn't work"-broken but "can't build this shit"-broken. What the fuck is the workflow here that it's apparently acceptable? I wasn't able to do SHIT today because of it. Almost whole fucking day wasted.

Angular material is shit.

Angular material has literally no documentation. There is no search on their shit docs. And there is absolutely no info in their docs about some shit they use.
So when you need to know what the fuck does smth like MatOption mean (what inputs does this piece of fuck takes?) you will need to dig into the code.

T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM

This is how PHP refers to :: internally, it's the only fucking token with such a weird name, what is this fucking language?

Who is writing this shit? OOP but it's completely optional? Where is the goddamn sheriff? I'm done, off to Ruby, Python, Go or anything that's not fucking PHP. Sick of this shit. Fuck this language.

How can such a massive language be so poorly designed!?

I sit on toilet to take a shit and i started falling asleep! I shit even while i sleep! This is magnificent. Miraculous. Every day its the same shit but more advanced style of shitting. I am becoming very skilled at shitting. I deserve to get fucking paid every time i take a shit. There should be a sport about who can shit more often every day and I'd be the winner. Bullshit floats all around us every day especially from jobs and interviews. It is inevitable to avoid it. Beautiful. And it does make sense. I keep saying life is shit anyways every time some shit happens. And im always right -- life IS shit anyways. The keyword is **anyways**. Because no matter what you do or dont do, life will be shit Anyways. Life is empty and meaningless. Even shit has more meaning than life itself. If meaning is something that is made up then you can't live life at all. If meaning is what you make it then there is no default meaning in the entire existence. All of it is shit. We either exist because God made us and doesnt want to tell us why or we exist by chance of statistical randomness. Hopefully its the first option as its less depressing

Btw terraform is fucking good

So I work in a startup where all my co-workers are 6-7 years elder to me. There is this guy who keeps asking me how is my work going.

I tell him, he gives me a weird clueless look and leaves.

I wonder why he even asks me everytime if he is least bothered about what I do. I see all others minding their own business and busy coding. But this guy is one whom I have always seen jobless.

So now I have decided that next time he asks me I will tell any random shit to him to see if what I have been telling was always shit to him .

THE FUCK MICROSOFT?! HOW COULD YOU FUCK UP ALT+BACKSPACE IN WORD 2016 WHAT IS THIS SHIT SUPPOSED TO DO IT MAKES NO SENSE, YOU CANNOT EVEN UNDO IT WHAT FAGGOT TESTED YOUR UI WHILE BEEING HIGH ON REDMOND DIRT. AND WHICH KIND OF MASTURBATING MONKEY IMPLEMENTED THIS SHIT.

Company Emails that tell you
who they are
what believe in.
How they were the market leaders since the stone age.
what their values are
what their holistic approach to life is. How they are diversifying inclusiveness to include diversity.
And how all of this bull shit ties into you being a ideal employee of the organisation
Just to get you to fill a damn form.

Makes me wish the next attempt at human extinction succeeds.

First day of my first developer job is Monday. Oh shit. Nerves are starting to set in. What if I’m not good enough for the job? I mean I didn’t the coding assessment they wanted me to do. And passed. Which is why they gave me the job. But fuck man I’m nervous! I have never had a job like this before. And it’s remote after my first week. Oh shit.

What the fuck is this shit? How can I trust anything these days?

I just can keep the gdpr memes and rants coming, this is getting out of hand, a fucking contact form needs a checkbox, that you fucking obviously "store" it, by sending a fucking email, are you absolutely out of your mind, what do you expect I do, just /dev/null route your shit? maybe I should, shitheads.

What the fuck is wrong with people!?
When I produced somewhaz high quality Videos, Ive gotten like 10-20 views a day...
Now... I made A FUCKING 10H EDIT OF SOME GUY SAYING SHIT AND SHIT AND SHIT... AND I MADE 181 FUCKING VIEWS IN A SINGLE FUCKING DAY!!

FUCK THIS.

Can somebody please tell me What is wrong with Microsoft and their broken piece of shit software?! (sorry to any Microsoft devs, if you read this). How the hell is it that their fucking installer and system repair features is this fucking useless? "Sorry, can't install on disk 0,cause the disk is in gpt format" NO SHIT, you were the fucking asshole who formatted it from the begining. Douchebag.

Android Studio is by far worst development environment I've ever seen. Slow as fuck, messed up and cumbersome, not much better than eclipse. Menus are hilariously fucked up. On top of that, clear new setup (on Windows) may as well melt up your PC if you have that shit running overnight: after a weekend I came to the office and my MBP is fucking screaming and breathing hot air... I was WTF is that, and when I logged in, this fucking garbage android studio was taking 100% of all 8/16 cores ... WHAT A FUCKING HIDEOUS PILE OF SHIT FROM GOOGLE. Google: please kill this project, no need to improve or fix it, it's garbage. Start over.

This is the 5th time I'm going to a meeting to explain this simple detail.

Yes what you want is doable however, To do this we need to revamp another system which will require its own project to do.

This shit here is why your jobs are getting automated.

What the fuck is a framework? I have never hated a term this much, overused piece of shit word.

I can't get any shit done when trying to work in a public place, like in class or at Starbucks or frankly anywhere where people can (and will) look at my screen, as they'll inevitably think, "what the fuck is this guy doing?"

!dev

Today I learnt something, I wish I learnt this earlier (I'm 25 now , it is late?).

What I learnt:

1. Never out -shined your superior, as it naturally stir up all sorts of resentments , envy, insecurities and possibilities of getting you replace by someone level intelligent. Because superior feel threatened.

2. Never try to fake what you don't know, and real to what you know. (As I saw someone faking themselves as someone who they are not, they eventually manifested tonnes of shit to themselves.)

So is what I learnt is actually make sense and valid? or just an opinion?