Anyone else used Stack Overflow for many years without ever asking or answering a single question?

I found it!

!rant

Fathers day today, my 6 year old passes me some presents.

First 3 opened.

Devrant cap
Devrant stressball
Devrant stickers

Yes son! (Well obviously, technically it was my wife) I assume she must have seen me on the app :)

*writes a big chunk of code*

*Runs without errors*

Something ain't right.

Seen in Amsterdam, getting on a ferry.

"Unit tests are a waste of time, and we should avoid doing that if possible. "

Kill me please.

Graduation is tomorrow and I get to decorate my cap...

I felt really mean sawing off the I/O but it weighed too much.

My sister in law got me this guy for Christmas after I told her about devrant!

She found it in a rubber duck shop in Amsterdam.

Best sister in law!

That moment when you realise:
money != Happiness
Stickers === Happiness

Meeting with American customers in Germany. One of them fetched a bottle of water with crown cap, but the opener was missing. She asked whether someone had an opener, so I got out a lighter and opened the bottle. Surprised looks.

My (Indian) PM: "That's a German thing, opening bottles with everything except bottle openers. Even with other bottles."

Customers were like, WTF?!

The CAP is ON.

The only dates I get, are updates.

A common scenario strikes again today:

- Blocked on a problem at the end of the day
- Tell my wife I'm headed home
- Inspiration strikes
- time flies by coding in the zone
- realize I'm super late
- run out the door like a crazy person

This morning I kept falling back asleep after the alarm went off, drifting in and out of a dream about programming.

My wife finally said "no more sleeping".

Still mostly sleep, I replied very confidently "you can't sleep in a sandbox!".

I was dreaming I was in a code sandbox. Obviously sleeping is not allowed.

Jeez, my head has been really full of programming since this conference. (One of the talks was on codesandbox).

Night before flying internationally includes the following checklist:

- check VPN works, can access frontend sites and hit the backend
- git push

Our "monitoring" today.

Use MacOS...

Working halftime, getting paid for fulltime

Let me tell you a story.

Our company has a homegrown monitoring solution. Keeps track of our deployments and alerts us when something is broken. Really nice for the most part, except a little issue where we get up to 25 alerts PER DAY that our PRODUCTION ENVIRONMENT IS DOWN. Including weekends.

With this many false positives, we quickly learn to ignore the alerts and miss real incidents.

So we approached this team, remember its our own tool, and told them about the problem. Turns out it is a known issue. And here's the kicker: they aren't planning on fixing it!

It gets better. Rather than fix this glaring issue, their solution is to make ANOTHER ALERT that lets us know the monitoring is misbehaving.

To recap, we can now expect to get up to 25 false positive alerts per day that our production is down, followed immediately by more alerts that the monitor is broken, which means we can ignore the previous alert.

As our PM said when he heard this: fuck that noise. We are escalating the shit out of this!

I'm such an idiot.

Spilled water on my MacBook today. Not that much water, but the cup landed right in the middle of my keyboard.

Worst part is I was gaming with my sister and didn't want to stop. So I wiped it off and shook it out a bit and kept playing. A bit later the screen started flickering and eventually went black.

Finally my brain turned on and I switched it off, shook out some more water, and set it up to dry. Just hoping it's not too late.

At least the drying setup recommended by the internet is pretty hilarious looking.

Now we play the waiting game. They say 72 hours before turning it on again. Seems a bit extreme. Will there still be moisture evaporating 3 days later? Not sure I can wait that long to see if it's toast.

Such an idiot.

When a mod with a ego so big just because he took his first computer class thinks he knows better

Graduating in a few days in CS and thinking about what I'll put on my cap. Current favorite:

I hate open space offices for following reasons
- bright environment (I cannot turn off the light just for my own)
- noises (talking, discussions, chewing)
- requests and questions
- people

But I still cannot afford to be in my own office room yet.
Now I have to wear a cap inside the office like a mad-hatter and plug my ears with earphones even without playing any music.

*spends a long time crafting a huge eBay post (we're moving)
* tries to drag and drop first picture
* page navigates to the picture without warning
* loses everything

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

WHEN DRAGGING A PICTURE INTO A WEB PAGE I NEVER WANT TO NAVIGATE TO A PAGE WITH JUST THAT IMAGE. WHY NO WARNING BEFORE LEAVING THE PAGE. WHY DON'T YOU SAVE TEXT LOCALLY. WHY DOES THE WEB SUCK SO HARD. AAAGGGHHHH.

* feels better
* starts over

Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!

Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!

Stop the lies!!!

2 days into a new java project and I already miss scala so much.

My cable company imposed a data cap on us, then offered an unlimited plan for 50/month. So total would be 150/month for only internet. Unfortunately, they are the only provider.

Until now. I got on the phone with their competition for around 3 hours today and talked them into rolling out to our neighborhood. As of Tuesday, we actually have competition. It feels so good to screw over the cable company like this, especially after how they approached data caps.

I spent more than an hour trying trying to debug why two functions were always returning undefined. I even put in conditional breakpoints and executed the statements to confirm the logic was correct.

I forgot return.

My new fitbit reminds me take 250 steps each hour. When I do stop and take a walk, I find it helps my productivity, and I feel better. However, I'm not good at keeping to it.

It's always the same story.

"Quiet you, I'll get up and walk once I finish this one thing".

...

Another hour goes by.

If only I could keep to my own convictions.

We were 6 devs on a big project that needed to be completed in 3 months. Probably my first project as a full-stack dev and the work was very demanding.

The senior of my team was a very sharp and energetic, but also a very "in your face" kinda guy. Like, he was cool, but sometimes a little too much to handle for some people.

Anyway, this guy "Senior dev" worked faster (naturally) and harder than the rest of us and was always willing to help if somebody had problems with a framework, tool or other technology. Also, there was this other guy also a good dev (second best I would say) that just hated the first guy's guts for being "rude and obnoxious" as he put it.

One day, the PM and the senior had an argument about a major change that the PM had agreed to (just to save face with the client) that will force the team to come to work on the weekend. In the end he saved us the trouble of going throught that and the PM had to tell the client that the change wouldn't be made. From then on it went downhill for "Sr. dev" in the company. Until one day he was told that his contract was not gonna be renewed.

Short after, he showed some of us a screen cap. somebody sent him of an email from the "hateful" dev to the PM in which he wrote he had heard that the senior guy was leaving and he couldn't be happier because he was "damaging, problematic and a stressful part of his job". That was such a dick move, we thought he should get back at the guy.

So he sent a fake email to the PM using the "hateful" guy's email ID, that read:

"Dear PM. I'm sorry I said those things about 'Senior dev', I guess I'm just mad that he's a better professional than me and mad that I was born with no genitalia".

After the senior dev left I worked on one more project with the "hateful" dev and he was let go mid project for "not being proactive and making little effort on completing the project".

Stolen from reddit

I swear next time I see a UHD TV sold as 4K I'm gonna pop a cap in the lying fucker who mislabeled it!

4K has 552,960 more pixels dammit! This is the "720 HD" bullshit all over again!

First push at my new work - buildbreaker...

Tomorrow Im going to our customer wearing a Rammstein shirt while I am normally wearing something more professional. Im heading to a rammstein concert directly after. And I cannot take anything with me but an empty bottle without cap. So no redressing :)

Let's hope they don't mind.

it was 12am when we are ready to launch our new web design which requires a lot of hardwork and routing processes. my team lead was the one who pushes the button to production using "cap production deploy" command. everyone in the room (including PM) was like counting down like launching a rocket to space. the feeling is great knowing that everyone was sleepy at that time. im glad it went smooth and everyone congratulates each other.

Me: develops my first android app with firebase by google.
Me: finishes app, tests it and it works.

Firebase after 3 months: we were first going to scale our servers on our own based on how many people are simultaneously using your app. But now fuck you, we will have a cap of 100000 simultaneous users.

Me: fuck this kills my app if it scales. Have to Shard everything on the db side and overhaul the entire app to work will multiple db instances. Takes a month.

Android after 6 months: dude your app is working fine without any hiccups. Let me fuck it up. We will stop all your services when your app is not running or backgrounded. Also we will make it illegal to start services in this case and we will throw exceptions.

Me: what the actual fuck. They now want me to focus on a JobScheduler, fine... But now even intent services won't work properly. So use a job scheduler to start a JobIntentService which is essentially another job scheduler for queuing. wtf android.

Ps solved it and works again.

PS: WAITING FOR ANDROID TO FML WITH ANOTHER NEW VERSION. Maybe they'll say you can't run your app at all now

My graduation cap. Just got my degree in CS. As I shook the hand of the Dean of the college, he said "love the cap"
:D

A couple of months ago, the father of a friend of mine, asked me if I wanted to help him out with a project.

His late father, whom he inherited a one-person upholstering company from, once created a system in filemaker to do, among others, his financial administration. This system, however, grew organically as time went by, but he passed away before he explained to his son how it worked.

Now this man was running the company, using the parts of the system that he knows, but things were starting to break down. He asked me if I could help him understand what is going on and fix a couple of things.

However, the more I look at it, the more I realize what a monstrosity this has become, because the system has never been cleaned up. For example:

- There is a suppliers table, with the columns "E-MAIL" and "EMAIL". The latter one containing the supplier's website address.
- In order to be able to generate year reports, at the start of a year he copies the previous year's file, removes all records from it and starts using that as the new year's file. (This year, he accidentally created a shortcut instead of copying...)
- Some tables have a misterious column called "#1". It always contains a 1.
- The system consists of about 20 files, each of them containing a single table, although only 10 of them are really used. The other ones are just legacy.
- File, table, column, and layout names are capitalized randomly (all caps, no cap, starting uppercase) and are usually abbreviations, like "st2", "oms3", "off\rek", "b", "VERDBEST6" and "antst".
- One table has 92 columns.
- Of those 92 columns, only about 20, maybe 30, are in use.

Now, my task is finding out what parts are useful and in use, extracting those and create a baby monster out of the giant monster this system has become.

Sidenote: I actually enjoy having to learn a bit about accounting in order to understand this. Planning to use the knowledge I gain to keep track of my own finances.

A friend of mine got into pentesting and his first idea was to try hack his own wifi, proof of concept. He got the cap file all professional and started crunching. He walks away and it two minutes starts screaming at me for the wifi being "too fookin slow"

My friend is terminally stupid

Coding has given me the ability to turn my favorite hobby into a career. This in turn gave me the chance to take jobs in three countries so far (US, Germany, UK). So, I can explore the world with lovely wife while doing something I'm really passionate about and constantly learning. It also allows me to relate more to my dad, a software engineer of about 30 years who got me started when I was a kid.

In short, coding changed everything for me.

PS: I met my wife in intro to CS, though she's not a developer.

Cool cap 😎

Would buy this for sure

When your company buys a third party solution and you spend all your time emailing them about bugs in their system.

Seriously, I even sent you the exact line of the bug in your JavaScript with a suggested solution, and deployed a new stack with your latest (broken) fix so you can test out that solution. Then you email back saying it is fixed but it is clearly still broken. If I email you a fixed version of your file will you deploy it? OMG!

After being live multiple years supporting only Safari, Firefox, and Chrome, one customer wanted IE support. After taking a close look at the usage numbers, and discussing with us front-end devs, our product guy shot it down. Pop the champagne!

If an orange costs $6 and a grape costs $4, how much does a pineapple cost?

Sleeping the Thread for 1 sec, because the database had no real timestamp and a transaction on the same item within the same second would lead to a doubled primary key...

No real feature, but it is a bug and this makes it a feature I guess.

Slow time so I can code more AND sleep more!

Node.js: 3 dependencies, 8448 depents ... GG

Market Cap drops to $600 B
"I am not selling now. It will bounce back 😀"

Market Cap drops to $500 B
"I am not selling now. Just FUD. Fuck whales. It will bounce back 😃"

Market Cap drops to $400 B
"Haha. Nice played whales. But I am not selling now either. It will bounce back 😅"

Market Cap drops to $350 B
"Ok. The market is fully saturated now. Not gonna drop anymore 😓😐"

Market Cap drops to $300 B
"I think I should sell now 🤔🤔"

AT&T: "there is an excessive use cap on your unlimited mobile data plan but you'll never hit it"

Me: BEGIN TRANSMISSION

A guy recommended by a friend asked me if I can make him a website for his restobar for the cheapest price.

So, I gave him my cheapest quote.

He then asked if I can make it half of the price, and he'll give me a Jack Daniels shirt, bag and a cap.

var does not mean dynamic

When you try to clap in a presentation while holding coffee and spill it all over yourself.

Not beeing able to get a decent haircut currently is a good excuse to finally wear my custom made baseball cap :D

I'm thinking of designing something like this for my graduation cap next year. Thoughts?

When you make a mistake and try to fix it, but you can't remember how to spell amend...

git commit --ammend
error: unknown command `amend'

git commit -ammend
[branch-name] mend

Huh?

git log
commit #
mend

Created a new commit with message 'mend'. Now to clean this all up and go get some sleep!

Sitting here with my headphones + cap + hoodie on, and guess what... it’s working. No one disturbing me. I ... I feel like I’m a stone.

Years ago, one of my friends in college was taking an intro to CS class. He asked me for help on one of his assignments. It was a simple Python program, but it wasn't running as expected. I go in figuring it will be easy to fix. But everything looks exactly right. An hour later I'm tearing my hair out! It isn't even entering the function although it's clearly called. I'm beginning to feel very self conscious, as a CS major who can't even debug a 15 line program for a friend.

Then it hit me. This is Python. I used an editor macro to convert all indentation to tabs, lined them up, and it ran on the first try. Turns out, he had somehow ended up with a mixture of tabs and spaces.

I'm not sure what the takeaway is, but I think he got a surprisingly honest introduction to the life of a developer...

Oh dear people,

Congrats for going nuts @-red -style!
You have hit the cap! @Cup0coffee!

At first I thought I didn't know what to say, but here have a modified citation:
"Friendship is _C_are.
Do you know what I'm saying to you?
Friendship is rare." [2001 - by guess who]

!rant

Super awesome day today.

1. Got up early to do a risky production deploy and it worked!
2. Three PRs approved before lunch.
3. Got some time to continue learning scala.
4. Coffee and cupcakes with some refugees and discussed work as a software engineer.
5. Tried virtual reality for the first time. Really fun.
6. Helped prepare our goals for this quarter and present them to the department.
7. Department meeting had free local craft beer and pretzels.
8. Went bouldering after work and flashed a 6c.
9. Curled up with my wife watching Netflix.

I really love my life sometimes.

Just got 2 month premium for deezer for 1$, from a Cola cap...

So this morning something wonderful happened. One of my teams deployed some cache for our API using Redis and they didn't config it!!!
So it's TROLL-time!!! And we have some really cool troll rules if you DOS the QA stack!! So if they resolve it in less than an hour they will only have to use a funny cap all day long (even for lunch) but if it takes more than 1 hour it will be a full cyclist outfit for the whole day (over their own cloth).

PS: if you ever use Redis don't mysql it (why config it? it'll work!!!), because Redis will murder your server!!!

I really think 1 hr+ meetings are a fucking waste of time. By minute 40, people's attentions waver.

If I ever run my own shop I will fucking ban meetings that last more than 30 minutes, and have a hard cap of 7 people per meeting and require a fucking agenda. God damn it. Being stuck in meetings where 90% of crap not relevant to me is bs.

#TiltedMonday

"Can you check what my password is?"

PSA: negate your tests and make sure they fail!

I have what I thought was a weird and slightly paranoid habit. When I write tests sometimes just as a sanity check negate the assertion to make sure the test fails and isn't a false positive. Almost always fails as expected.

But not today! Turns out I had forgotten to wrap my equality check in an assertion so it would always pass. It freaks me out to imagine pushing a test that always passes not just because it doesn't do its job, but could also obscure a bug and trick me into thinking it works differently than it does. Broken tests are the worst!

But it pays to be paranoid.

Ok rant time. This app really needs to stack the notifications instead of popping a new one for every single thing and spam my notifications (Android)

Me: *adds a shiny new graph to our foos web app showing player ratings*

Fred: Can I please have a button to see just my scores?

Me: *adds "JUST FRED" button*

Fred: perfect, thanks

"The great thing about personal work is that it can shape your commercial work. Clients see what you create for yourself and that can be the starting point for a new project, which closes the cap between the work you love making and the work you get paid for." - Gemma O’Brien

Just need to vent, so here goes:

Fuck doing cutting edge projects for great glory, low budgets and tight deadlines. I'm tired, burnt out and just don't give a shit anymore.

I got promoted to lead dev and thought my fortune was made but what it really meant was just: Here solve all these bullshit bugs that the rest of the team can't figure out and oh we are also taking this single app you guys made and scaling it globally. You have half a year to figure that out. You handle the devops.... sigh

Fuck that noise.

Honestly i just feel like quitting and finding a nice specialist place, with a cap of at max Senõr developer, no more being the one making the big decisions for me, rather just diving into certain areas and coding the fuck out of that. Maybe some teaching too, i like that.

Anyway, won't happen right now, i need the salary. My wife just graduated and can't find a job what with a certain flu fucking over the economy, so I am stuck here for now.

Our prof at university told us at the beginning of the semester, that .NET is the most used framework for web based systems and it would take a big part in this semester. He brought up a statistic, in which .NET filled around 43 %, and wasnt even the most populated one. Nobody seemed to be impressed, that the first information he provided to us, was obviously wrong but okay.. After that I just looked up the statistic and filtered the values for my own country, in which Im "probably" about to work later on. The percentage for .NET in my country was 4 %. I told my classmates, that this guy is talking complete bullshit. Still nobody cared. During semester we learned stuff, that was btw factually wrong. In the end, we didnt even had one lecture about .NET. Now my classmates finally care and are flaming all day about this guy. Didnt expect that... (Irony off)

There is one more story of this ridculous prof that will follow soon :D

Heathrow express having some trouble this morning.

Nice start to the day, I actually had to use science to open a milk bottle:

Problem: Cap doesn't turn no matter how hard I try

1. Increase the grip strength without hurting my hand by placing a paper towel between my hand and the cap

Still won't turn

2. Run hot water and place the lid area under it for 20s

Repeat #1, it now works!

Jetbrains (IntelliJ, Rider) - cannot live without it. Everything else seems to be unnecessarily complicated in comparison.

amazon has hit 1T$ market cap. fffuckin bezos.

"There is no great wealth without a great theft."
- Gutle Schnapper Rothschild

"Give me the control of a nations wealth and I care not who makes thy laws."
- Mayer Amschel Rothschild

Starting to hate resharper for visual studio 2015. Pushes studio memory consumption up by almost 1/2gb with a moderately sized solution. Come on jetbrains sort it out we know it's coz you won't integrate with roslyn.

Doesn't help that vs is still 32bit with a 1.5mb memory cap that will kill the process ...... And Microsoft please sort that shit out as well,32bit app on a 64bit system .... Come on WTF.....

You two sort your shit out 😡

I committed to some work I probably should have turned down. Great people and enjoyable work but I agreed to a good hourly rate but I have a cap of 20 hours a week. I keep putting in extra hours that I don't get paid for. I want the work to be good and don't think it can be completed in 20hrs per week. The work involves mentoring others and I just can't leave in the middle of helping them. My husband is fed up with my wimpyness. I am putting off a project we are working on together to do this work. The contract will be over in 3 months. What do I do?

I get home today and my wife says:

"Just finished some chores and really want to play stardew valley, but the computer has been updating for an hour!"

Windows 10 anniversary update strikes again.

Ok... Now the fun stuff can begin :)

When you offer to help out a fellow coworker on the top priority feature he is developing and he just sends you the branch and stops working on it.

git pull origin master --allow-unrelated-histories

Because I like to keep life interesting.

Lost my first job because I told my boss he can't have all 3 of CAP theorem fml

I mistyped cap (from Capistrano) so often that I made an alias for it. Now bash history is full of... Crap. Literally.

My boss seen it once.... Luckily, he's already seen so many of my shenanigans that he didn't even care...

So yeah, I made an alias that changed one single character so I don't need to learn how to type.

crap staging deploy

Making scripts for custom physics is fun. One moment, the object gets stuck on the ground. The next, it shoots off into the far distance.

Lesson of the day? Don't be an idiot for once, stop, grab a notebook, Google some formulas and think like a human being before messing around with the script again.

My first software.. Okay. So first time I ever attempted was with my father, i was around 8 or so, i remember very little from it, but in nutshell, i somehow ended up at his job having day off school or something, no idea.

Apparently he was bored, so he decided yo show me... Basic. Yep, thats right. Frking basic. Anyway, he shown me some really basic stuff in basic, and pushed the envelope really hard, just trying to force into me more and more in these 8hrs. I started with filling screen with "o" characters. Most of times he was telling me what to write with elaborate explanation why. At the end of the day, we finished with simple maze game where player was "o" and maze walls was #. Without any goal, or anything.

Next day i was at point 0, understood nothing from it except how to handle keystrokes (and belive me, that for me was huge mindblow, and even bigger mindblow that it actually made prefect sense).

I dont remember much, but later i started with father-assisted c++ and some pascal. I immidietly loved c++ but dropped learning it for (NullPointer) reason.

Thats not really project imho, so now time for my actual first project.

It was about time when ARK survival evolved was a fresh thing, i was playing it a lot. Server admin became buddy. We all complained about max level cap, but to change it in config you needed to input whole new xp curve.

At that time i had great familiarity with google and computers, some thought i was some kind of PC god (seriously I heard someone saying so about me lol) just becouse I could ressurect most cases of broken windows. And I had next to zero programming expirience. It was about to change. I made first c++ actual program, that was making xp curve for you. It took me just bearly 2 days and was series of cin, cout, one file open, some maths in loop, and done. Maths was very bad. But i pushed it into steam forums, and one guy responded how.bad my math was, so we colabed on making 2 iteration. Took around week. Than half a year passed and we wanted go big. Go gui. I had no freaking idea how making gui looks like. Community liked my cli tool, we had quite a lot of downloads, why not go GUI. And thats when I discovered QT framework. And we had few features in mind... It took us half a year to make it. From 60 lines of code i jumped into 1k lines of code. We pushed it and immidietly started working on 4th version with much greater customizability etc.

Than i finished 18 and found a job. Job in php. I got it becouse I made this project.

Now project is abandon. This project also gave me a lesson that donations will not feed you.

Edit: and before you think about my father that he was nice person to show me code, trust me, i dont know bigger dick than him.

We've been using private GitHub repos as a distribution method for our personal npm packages at work for years.

I finally got sick of it and did the work to publish them to artifactory yesterday. Today, I worked out the remaining kinks, fixed the CI builds, and wrote a wiki page explaining the change with step by step migration instructions and sent it around to the rest of the devs. And it's working great!

I feel simultaneously like a hero for finally getting this fixed and an idiot for putting up with it for so long.

Also thankful for my devops friend who helped a bunch.

How about this..
So a few months ago there's this guy
He coughed.
He did nothing else.
He did not cover his mouth.
He did not even do it in his elbow.
He just did it.
He did it at a fish market in china..
...
And now today as the world is grinding to a hault I just hope he is satisfied.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW??!

So anyway trapped at home. Nothing to do. Its cold today. Got to reduce the fan speeds on that rigs and bump the power a bit. There not so cold now :)

Ok on a serious note that coughing idiot is to blame for this cold.
One ICE AGE coming up. Global warming fans hold on to your chai. This one is a shocker..

So it turns out shutting down the world have caused CO2 levels to drop as cars dont drive and factories dont work and all the powerplants suddenly find people no longer want more power.
Thing is plantd are addaptive and they enlage the pores on the underside of thier leaves depending on the CO2 levels.
So the plants been running at 100% eat CO2 for a while now.
Then CO2 supply drop to lowest in 100 years.
Plants still eating CO2 at 100% so they did not get memmo yet. CO2 now getting used up faster than being made. Greenhouse no more.
Polar ice caps nows your turn.
First up south pole winter is coming your way.
It will freeze ice cap bigger than past 100 years. The ice will sit there making earth lobsided with all the ice on one end and none on the other .
Lobsided earth is a spinning ball
Lobsided balls change how they spin
The rotation of earh now affected by a cough.
In 6-8 months winter goes north.
CO2 all but eaten up by then. World still rather dead as the afternath is felt.
Northen poler cap freeze all the way to london again. First time in 5000 years.
All because of a bloody cough.

Its the end of the world as we know it and here i am waiting for unreal to complie just like usual..

So remember dont cough near others if someone cough near you then tel them to
Far cough

"The great thing about personal work is that it can shape your commercial work. Clients see what you create for yourself and that can be the starting point for a new project, which closes the cap between the work you love making and the work you get paid for." - Gemma O’Brien

Things you should not say on your last day of work:

If I broke it, I think it would be pretty obvious.

When you immediately regret your career decisions.

Well these are the EA devs..

(Its Command and Conquer: Rivals..)

I want to buy a beer for everyone who developed the mobile pass app. Just breezed through immigration and customs without waiting in the 1 hour+ line. Technology wins. Cheers!

Just moved countries and started a new job at an awesome company, which is so great I have nothing yet to rant about.

Oh here goes: almost three weeks with no internet at home and no end in sight.

ADASC (Another damn Allo screen cap)
Allo knows memes , but doesn't understand the basics!

Don't you hate it when you have too many GB or RAM occupied and then you decide to launch a VM without realizing that Virtualbox will not only take the remaining space left but will also cap your RAM and everything freezes!? Uugghhh!

C++ absolute madness. Most C++ devs are just writing hacky stuff, that isnt even near to a great solution...

Magento, it's in the same category for me as drupal, joomla, WordPress,... Bloated, slow, general pain to work with... No learning sources, cap of a 'documentation'...

Assume U've captured the cap using airmon-ng , airodump and aireplay .
The question is:
If I dont wanna use air crack-ng and wanted to use sites like hashkiller , how can i get the hash from the cap file?

(Fyi: I was an intern.)

It took me hours of time to recognize, that one of the necessary tables just used an oracleDB Date as a timestamp, which lead to a violation of the primary key constraint on interactions taken place in less than one second.
Me: (explaining the problem to CW)
CW: "Yup, we know."
Me: ...

Well, I guess even googles listing of solutions on the fly from external websites doesnt always work perfectly..

Just attended my first conference and it was awesome! So many new ideas, but also tired and overloaded. Can't decide if I should code tonight, go to bed early, or just do something mindless.

I had an interesting mystery the other day. I work in the UK, but I'm working remotely from the US for a while. First day, I made some changes, ran the tests and they failed. Weird part was the failing test was for a component I hadn't touched. I took a closer look, and realized it was a date off by several hours. The test was checking that a passed in date appears in the output. But it was creating the date by parsing a string. The library I was using defaults to local time, but the component uses UTC. So, I had inadvertently created a unit test that only passes when run from UTC. But I had never noticed before because my work is in that timezone. Yikes!

Yeah finally my eff John Barlow t-shirt arrived. And got my cap, lost last one during party 😂

The moment, when a "vr ready" alienware laptop (which is crap, because alienware is crap) cant handle a selfmade vr game made with unity3d...

I don’t want to come across as entitled, but what kind of person gets a software internship in California?

I go to university in California, I’m a junior CS student, I have 8 public ios apps (2 charted in US, 1 acquired small sum [5k]), I completely designed the blockchain parameters and built multiple front-end apps for a new cryptocurrency (it hit 3mil$ market cap).

And I applied to 22 tech companies. Rejected from pretty much all (waiting on my dream company still). Do they just not even get to some applications or do I literally have to be superhuman?

It's 5 AM I've been awake for like 5 hours. I was asleep for 6 hours total. I'm going back to sleep the last 3 hours. It'll be 8 or 9 AM. I love being a night owl. I managed to get farther along in Legend of Zelda The Minish Cap. Personally I like a Link to the past better; there is less combat in the Minish Cap.

Sorry in advance if we are not supposed to ask questions but: in your opinion, what's the best IDE for Linux? Other than Netbeans

Why is so Fitbit so bad at multiple time zones??

Guess what, people get on planes and travel.

Every time, my Fitbit gets so screwed up, including things like changing previous step counts, or duplicating an entire day of steps.

I understand MTZ is a tough problem, but this is just unacceptable. I'm not obsessed with my steps, but when your product is all about counting something, seems like you should be more careful to avoid double counting or not counting at all. Seriously, how much R&D have they invested in their hardware and apps, but it completely fails when you travel. Get it together!

Uh... how many?

I swear the day I find a designer that understands the DOM I am going to eat my cap.

Decides to fork an OS repo and make some modifications.

It's written in coffeescript.

WHY SHOULD I SPEND FUCKING MONTHLY FEES WHEN THE FREE FUCKING VERSION CAN'T EVEN REACH THE CAP. FUCK YOU NEXUS MODS!

When everyone thinks FE is easier, quicker, and less important than BE. Just because our fantastic UX people made you a high fidelity mockup in a day does not mean we can build the whole FE in a week.

This is why I'm returning to full stack.

One of the biggest IT magazines in Germany just posted an article with the caption: "What is coming up with Android O and will it fix the update drama?"
Are u fcking kidding me?! Android is not the problem in that case and no new version will fix a problem, that is related to upcoming versions of android, which are distributed by external providers, that are fcking independent from google... Wtf..

Current Mac and Windows user here looking to get back into Linux. Any distro suggestions?

Looking for something not too high maintenance.

I'd code better knowing my avatar has a cap on its head

Advice for software developers -
(Mention something according to your view in comment box :))
Solve a problem. A business one - that created the need for the software you are developing.

Software is such a complex product (like cars and houses), it requires a team of engineers. Employers pigeonhole developers into little specializations. You can happily stay a sniper, machine gunner, or radio operator in your squad arrangement. You can even go to the officer’s academy (business school) to be promoted through official channels. But you need to try it first: comprehending the whole battle and rising above the specialist rank. At least in your mind.

You don’t have to write the entire system’s code to do that. Just look at the big picture, identify problems not directly related to you, raise them, and help your teammates to solve them. Solve some yourself - something outside your specialty. Become a generalist.

Will your bosses reward you for that? Not a chance. You are not doing it to earn official brownie points or even get noticed. In fact you won’t be noticed in a good way. Your boss would think you are undermining him/her and aiming for his seat. You don’t. That’s a dead end too.

Even if they reward you, don’t get comfortable. Well, that depends on your ambitions. How much “higher” “salary” you want? The most important skill you just learned is solving a problem. You are a project starter now. Or project savior. You can do anything: research, analyze, design, and implement. If you need help with coding, you can split that work with others, while coordinating the development. Yes, your boss needs to be afraid. Who cares? Let him/her sit in meetings and write useless documentation. You can produce the same system w/o your company’s bureaucratic overhead.

So now you have two paths. If you know a valid niche: a consumer or business problem to be solved, you can start your own company. Hire capable friends, find like-minded people. Don’t quit your day job. You can manage “dual-tasking”. Today’s dysfunctional IT workload is not that high. And the abundance of open-source technology makes everything virtually free. Except for the developer’s time. You can pay others in equity - if you need them.

If you want the security of an established company, apply there. It doesn’t need to be your current employer’s competitor. You can go anywhere - after researching the company business, ideally their pain points, and bringing the solution plan. Or even a prototype.

They’ll look at you differently, even if you are completely off base about their pressing problems. Just the effort alone shows who you are - a high-level problem solver. I hope you understand the difference between a problem solver - who makes things work and the pain disappear; And a formal “Solutions Architect” selling something on behalf of his/her consulting company - or purchasing if he/she works in the IT department.

Beats coding exercises, doesn’t it? I know it’s not up to you at the interview. What’s up to you is finding a company to apply at the higher, problem-solver level. It won’t be easy. The current hiring system is focused on acronym resume filtering. Companies hire either scientists or acronym specialists. Not problem solvers. As much, as I hate this generic advice, w/o a an independent unbiased recruiting system, aimed to find problem-solvers, you’ll need to network - easier said, than done.

My point is, however you get to that interview, through recruiters or the best connections, you still need to convince them that you can solve a real multi-million problem to command the higher pay. Otherwise you’ll just be a slightly higher paid pawn, reaching your salary cap in a few years after a few job hops.

Computer does a BSOD right at the end of a tiebreaker competitive overwatch match where the enemy is about to cap the point and win. I'm one of the tanks. Hard reboot and back in the game within 45s. Just barely hold them off in overtime and win the match. Epic!

Thank God for SSDs!

Automate this!

I'm an aspiring coder working some chappy administrator job just to pay the bills for now. My boss found out that I may actually be more computer literate than I let on.

Boss: "I want you to make X happen automatically if I click here on this spreadsheet"

Me "X!? That means processing data from 4 different spreadsheets that aren't consistently named and scraping comparison info from the fronted of the Web cms we're using"

Boss: "if you say so.. Can you do it?"

Me: "maybe.. Can I install python?"

Boss: "No..."

Me: "what about node.js or ruby?"

Boss: "no.. I don't know what you're talking about but you're not installing anything, just get it done"

Me: "Errm Ok.."

So here I am now, way over my head loving the fact that I'm unofficially a Dev and coding my first something in Powershell and vb that will be used in business :)

Sucks that I still have to keep my regular work on target whilst doing this though!

It drives me crazy when there are unclosed parens or quotes anywhere.

Is it too much to ask for people to run their Facebook posts through a compiler first?

Best tip for getting unstuck? If it's after your usual leaving time, GO HOME.

So many times I solved the problem right away the next morning. Only wish I followed my own advice more often...

Richard Garriott (alias Lord British). The pionier of RPGs and great influencer of the MMORPG Genre.

Not everyone will know this guy. But the ppl who know what he is responsible for ... will agree ;)

I was always interested in computers. My dad was a big computer geek and a programmer to boot. Usually had a couple old PCs in the basement to play with.

In middle school, I took tech ed and we made simple web sites with html and css. I remember the struggle of nested tables.

In high school, I couldn't fit any CS into my schedule. But someone gave me a learning to code book in ruby. I loved it, and have been hooked ever since.

I’m blatantly begging...

Anyone have any google adwords promo codes they’re not gonna use?

Any recommendations for moving a blog?

My wife and I just cancelled our account with siteground hosting a WordPress blog. Looking for a cheaper alternative. Willing to get my hands dirty as a web dev, but would like a nice CMS experience for my wife. Also want to keep our existing content. If we can keep our custom domain somehow that would be a win.

Thanks!

Trying to add money to a prepaid SIM card today. Their website is a mess. Plus and minus buttons were not functioning, so my only option was to add 15 euro. Checked the console, no errors. Tried triggering the buttons jQuery, no luck. Found a data value attached to the submit button set to 15. Changed to 10, clicked submit, and BOOM, it worked! You just got engineered!

After I paid, I was curious, went back and set it to -15, and tried it again. Unfortunately, they know about backend validation.

I still remember when I installed Android SDK for the first time. A friend told me that it was huge and I innocently assumed it was 5 or 10 gb at most.

So I let it install before going to sleep. Next morning I woke up and had the biggest gasp I ever had in my life.

Never had a real fight referring to any development - stuff, because most devs around me are more experienced and most of the time I can see the point in their opinions. I definitely had some discussions about some constructs in C++ for example. But thats it.

Ugh. So for one of my classes (Projects In Computer Science) we have to break up into groups; Around 4-6 people per group and build some software for different local companies in the city that I live in.

Well.... the company that my group chose is so damn frustrating. Essentially we are making a glorified Applicant Form system for their website (there's more to it than just that). So you would think that the company knew what sort of fields would be needed for these forms.... Well no, we are over a month into this project and still have barely began coding shit because they are so fucking slow to respond to our emails, don't pick up our calls, or put off doing absolutely anything related to our project! Our professor asked that we would have a written copy of the project requirements made and signed off by the client within the first 2 weeks of classes starting. Took them over a month to get around to that, and still even after signing off on the requirements said that they were missing key forms that we needed to account for... Its your damn fault for not telling us that. We completely wasted our time planning out the database and structuring the front-end/back-end to work for the forms they had given us, and now there's yet another one with inconsistent fields, meaning we need to rethink out most of our system to account for this data. We only have 3 months total, 1 which is already gone and practically wasted, and even still we don't have any sort of confirmation on what form fields we have to account for.

Fucking hell just spend a little bit of time for both our sake, and your own to get us the finalized forms fields and requirements for this project. Honestly at the rate things are going we probably wont be able to finish, which sucks ass since this project is perfect resume material.

Seriously this company desperately needs us to make them this program since their current system is absolute shit. They are literally getting a system that would cost upwards of $20,000 for free, yet they don't seem to care much that we probably wont be able to finish due to their faults. If we didn't have a time cap on this project I wouldn't really care, but the fact that we only have 3 months, plus school work in other classes, exams and a personal life, its making this project a lot more stressful than it needs to be.

Its not like we have a project manager either, so all the emailing and communication is being done by myself. Honest to god, all they have/had to do was sit down for 1 hour of time to decide what they all needed and we would probably have been able to finish this project.

Had a call at university. I was about to introduce new students into some general functionalities about the institution.
I was the only one activating his webcam and had some great monologues for an audience consisting of a bunch black screens. It was extremely weird to ask for questions and get literally no response at all - uff.

Had a new assignment(in liberty basic) in my computer studies course:

Ask user for the name of their favourite cartoon character. Then have the name move across the terminal screen with a once second delay.

So I spent about 30 minutes trying to find some sort of delay function in liberty basic. Finally I stopped using a for loop and instead move that code into a subroutine and tried to use the timer to run it every second.

Didn’t work.

So I finally gave in and asked the teacher. He explains for loops to me(after thoroughly investigating my keyboard(which is the same as his) for the cap locks key) and then use a incrementing for loop to 500000 as the delay. Next he told me that it felt like a second and he left.

Later he checked up on me making sure I understood.

I walk by our devops dashboard several times per day. It keeps track of key metrics for all our live services. I noticed an interesting trend the last few weeks.

3 weeks ago: all metrics green
2 weeks ago: 1 metric red
1 week ago: 1 metric still red
this week: 1 metric still red but covered with a post it note

Pharmacy... Preorder-mail got stuck in spam due to weird receiver passphrases so they didn't actually order it (it was "banana" followed by an steadily incrementing number). You wouldn't believe their faces after they saw my mail.

It took the pharmacy exactly ONE HOUR to get that medicine after I went up getting them to know that they missed an order. They express ordered it after I guess I signaled the urgency...
That's one of the pretty great things in Germany. If you need medicine and if you're in a medium populated area, you could get it within hours, or at least in 1/2 day if they not express the order and you order over their website.

But this is attacked due to European trade deals. Online pharmacy shops (the ones without local pharmacies) simply trade in from cheaper areas in Europe and can sell much cheaper. Also because they aren't committed to cross finance local hospital medicine delivery which then let's the health insurance raise their prices.
But due to the law for the minimum wage and therefore steadily decreasing wages the online-only pharmacies get more and more of the market cap....
Such problems aren't easy to fix...

Finishing thesis, Passing degree, Work in a new professional environment, starting Master studies ^^

Urge to rant rising, cap it, you will regret it later.....but I absolutely cannot believe the way some tech is formed.....complain later, but the urge to rant is becoming more important than what I was even doing.....meh. Go get a coffee and have a word with yourself.

Been deep diving LinkedIn search for a new project. Quickly hit the LI free monthly search cap that started in 2015 to encourage Premium LI subscriptions. May get it but in the meantime using x-ray google searching to LI and other techniques that don't count against LI monthly searches. If you have interest rant me and I will provide more details.

Somebody screwed up...

Is there a way to freeze or cap the amount of ++ that's displayed for my account? I'd Like to stop at 666 without having to stop posting
⊙﹏⊙

I had to work on a new apache server, after 3 hours of trying to figure out why this price of cap doesn't obey my will, I found out the SElinux in on(fuck you mode)

Tries to automate login with vb using I.E...

Gets stuck because login page is a hive of nested iframes with deep nested tags without defined names

FML

First Android app in University. Actually it was a calendar application that was really shitty in the end because I wasnt confident with different layouts which led to big problems and performance issues later on. But its sth I can talk about in interviews until today if the interviewer asks me, which situation was really important to me as a programmer.

This moment, you know ur movement mechanic in Unity works just as u want it to be. But its so damn hacky, u are afraid of refactoring, because u know.. u would break it...

When you are tearing you hair out trying to figure out why the PR you're reviewing isn't working. Then you realize you forgot to pull the latest changes!

Thought i'd try using VSCode.. initialized folder for git... and then proceeded to delete all my nodeschool work that i'd done over the past year... ARAGH!

I'm graduating soon from a college, and tbh I only had internships in web development. I really want to land a job when graduate next summer... But it doesn't seem I match any of the job descriptions, the skills the companies want. I don't know what's the next step, should I find a low skill cap job and teach myself the languages in the part-time? what did you do to land a software engineer job when you first graduated?

Someone else having this weird browser render issue on Mac OS El Cap? As far as I know it happens on both Opera and Chrome. (which use somewhat similar engines of course)

Setup
Macbook Pro Early 2011
Mac OS X El Capitan
Latest Chrome / Opera

A lot of times I read, that most people here are not willing or allowed to use jquery as a short fix for problems.
As someone who is working on big projects, I can say, I've used jquery a bunch of times as a workaround for problems I am not able or allowed to fix on my own. And I am a Java-Dev, so...

Thats how my class mate stole a cap 🎩 from the head Master's office.
And Boom!!!,
His father wore it to P.T.A meeting😭😭

So guys, I'm going to buy a new Notebook for coding and multimedia usage. The question that bothers me the most right now:
Is there a huge difference between IPS and Backlight LED Displays? Anyone got some experiences regarding this topic?

My favorite place to go...

You know it's Friday afternoon when your interface is broken because you tried to set the type to the string 'string' instead of the keyword string.

Interface IEnvironment {
name: 'string',
...
}

In the first place I dont do it that often in private projects because the estimation is always wrong.
At work i just think about best and worst case scenario and the average time it could take. If the the worst case scenario is really time intensive and there are a lot of factors that could go wrong in contrast to the best case, I significantly increase the estimated time for the task. Otherwise its 1/6 best case; 1/6 worst case; 4/6 average time

2017: supporting IE now somewhat less painful.