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My life hurts when I have to develop on someone else's computer and they use the "light-theme". #teamdarkside26
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So my school got invited to this coding competition for high-schoolers and among them, I was a part member and part mentor along side our CS professor since I was the most proficient coding stuff (although most of I do were JS and Python stuff although i can read other code)
Then this guy showed up.
He was picked by the faculty to take the WebDev competition. He knows how to use Photoshop for Photo retouchings and stuff but here's a problem.
He can't code nor make a proper website design.
So being the kind person I am, I volunteered to teach him what I know about frontend and HTML. This goes on for 4 weeks of nonstop practices, coding sessions and finally, Code In The Dark-style practice (which involves the person to code a full website for only 15 minutes).
When he was able to finish and mastered some of what I taught. I gave him the go signal and we were on to the road to victory.
Unfortunately our first try, we won nothing.
He said after the competition "I give up man, I can't take this!" but I said, "Just because you lost a f*cking competition once, doesn't mean you're a motherf*cking loser in life. There's still one more chance."
So I pressured our WebDev guy to be more better, taught him about mockups, JavaScript and etc.
Then the second attempt a year later, me and the WebDev guy won and moved on the finals. However, he didn't win the finals and I was the lone champion reprsenting our school.
Although he didn't win, he was happy I carried the torch and win the prize.
Prior to that, he asked me "Hey, how to be like you?"
I only answered, "Achievements are just gold with cloth and paper. Wear it lightly".
Fast forward to today, he's now the school's head design coordinator and layout designer for their newspaper column. He also practices his coding skills by frequenting on our coding sessions even when the competition was over.
But whenever someone asks "who taught you this?" he would only look to me, smile and say "that person right there".7 -
My boss thinks once the UI is made , the backend and integration shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes.
I want to kick him on the dark side of his moon10 -
This is kind of a horror story, with a happing ending. It contains a lot of gore images, and some porn. Very long story.
TL;DR Network upgrade
Once upon a time, there were two companies HA and HP, both owned by HC. Many years went by and the two companies worked along side each one another, but sometimes there were trouble, because they weren't sure who was supposed to bill the client for projects HA and HP had worked on together.
At HA there was an IT guy, an imbecile of such. He's very slow at doing his job, doesn't exactly understand what he's doing, nor security principles.
The IT guy at HA also did some IT work for HP from time to time when needed. But he was not in charge of the infrastructure for HP, that was the jobb for one developer who didn't really know what he was doing either.
Whenever a new server was set up at HP, the developer tried many solutions, until he landed on one, but he never removed the other tested solutions, and the config is scattered all around. And no documentation!!
Same goes with network, when something new was added, the old was never removed or reconfigured to something else.
One dark winter, a knight arrived at HP. He had many skills. Networking, server management, development, design and generally a fucking awesome viking.
This genius would often try to cleanse the network and servers, and begged his boss to let him buy new equipment to replace the old, to no prevail.
Whenever he would look in the server room, he would get shivers down his back.
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/Ie9x3YC33C.j...)
One and a half year later, the powerful owners in HA, HP and HC decided it was finally time to merge HA and HP together to HS. The knight thought this was his moment, he should ask CEO if he could be in charge of migrating the network, and do a complete overhault so they could get 1Gb interwebz speeds.
The knight had to come up with a plan and some price estimates, as the IT guy also would do this.
The IT guy proposed his solution, a Sonicwall gateway to 22 000 NOK, and using a 3rd party company to manage it for 3000 NOK/month.
"This is absurd", said the knight to the CEO and CXO, "I can come up with a better solution that is a complete upgrade. And it will be super easy to manage."
The CEO and CXO gave the knight a thumbs up. The race was on. We're moving in 2 months, I got to have the equipment by then, so I need a plan by the end of the week.
He roamed the wide internet, looked at many solutions, and ended up with going for Ubiquiti's Unifi series. Cheap, reliable and pretty nice to look at.
The CXO had mentioned the WiFi at HA was pretty bad, as there was WLAN for each meeting room, and one for the desks, so the phone would constantly jump between networks.
So the knight ended up with this solution:
2x Unifi Securtiy Gateway Pro 4
2x Unifi 48port
1x Unifi 10G 16port
5x Unifi AP-AC-Lite
12x pairs of 10G unifi fibre modules
All with a price tag around the one Sonicwall for 22 000 NOK, not including patch cables, POE injectors and fibre cables.
The knight presented this to the CXO, whom is not very fond of the IT guy, and the CXO thought this was a great solution.
But the IT guy had to have a say at this too, so he was sent the solution and had 2 weeks to dispute the soltion.
Time went by, CXO started to get tired of the waiting, so he called in a meeting with the knight and the IT guy, this was the IT guys chance to dispute the solution.
All he had to say was he was familiar with the Sonicwall solution, and having a 3rd party company managing it is great.
He was given another 2 weeks to dispute the solution, yet nothing happened.
The CXO gave the thumbs up, and the knight orders the equipment.
At this time, the knight asks the IT guy for access to the server room at HA, and a key (which would take 2 months to get sorted, because IT guys is a slow imbecile)
The horrors, Oh the horrors, the knight had never seen anything like this before.
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/HfptwEh9qT.j...)
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/HfptwEh9qT.j...)
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/hmOE2ZuQuE.j...)
(Image: https://i.bratteng.xyz/4Flmkx6slQ.j...)
What are all these for, why is there a fan ductaped to on of the servers.
WHAT IS THIS!
Why are there cables tied in a knot.
WHY!
These are questions we never will know the answers too.
The knight needs access to the servers, and sonicwall to see how this is configured.
After 1.5 month he gains access to the sonicwall and one of the xserve.
What the knight discovers baffles him.
All ports are open, sonicwall is basically in bridge mode and handing out public IPs to every device connected to it.
No VLANs, everything, just open...10 -
I recently joined the dark side - an agile consulting company (why and how is a long story). The first client I was assigned to was an international bank. The client wanted a web portal, that was at its core, just a massive web form for their users to perform data entry.
My company pitched and won the project even though they didn't have a single developer on their bench. The entire project team (including myself) was fast tracked through interviews and hired very rapidly so that they could staff the project (a fact I found out months later).
Although I had ~8 years of systems programming experience, my entire web development experience amounted to 12 weeks (a part time web dev course) just before I got hired.
I introduce to you, my team ...
Scrum Master. 12 years experience on paper.
Rote memorised the agile manifesto and scrum textbooks. He constantly went “We should do X instead of (practical thing) Y, because X is the agile way.” Easily pressured by the client to include ridiculous (real time chat in a form filling webpage), and sometimes near impossible features (undo at the keystroke level). He would just nag at the devs until someone mumbled ‘yes' just so that he would stfu and go away.
UX Designer. 3 years experience on paper ... as business analyst.
Zero professional experience in UX. Can’t use design tools like AI / photoshop. All he has is 10 weeks of UX bootcamp and a massive chip on his shoulder. The client wanted a web form, he designed a monstrosity that included several custom components that just HAD to be put in, because UX. When we asked for clarification the reply was a usually condescending “you guys don’t understand UX, just do <insert unhandled edge case>, this is intended."
Developer - PHD in his first job.
Invents programming puzzles to solve where there are none. The user story asked for a upload file button. He implemented a queue system that made use of custom metadata to detect file extensions, file size, and other attributes, so that he could determine which file to synchronously upload first.
Developer - Bootlicker. 5 years experience on paper.
He tried to ingratiate himself with the management from day 1. He also writes code I would fire interns and fail students for. His very first PR corrupted the database. The most recent one didn’t even compile.
Developer - Millennial fratboy with a business degree. 8 years experience on paper.
His entire knowledge of programming amounted to a single data structures class he took on Coursera. Claims that’s all he needs. His PRs was a single 4000+ line files, of which 3500+ failed the linter, had numerous bugs / console warnings / compile warnings, and implemented 60% of functionality requested in the user story. Also forget about getting his attention whenever one of the pretty secretaries walked by. He would leap out of his seat and waltz off to flirt.
Developer - Brooding loner. 6 years experience on paper.
His code works. It runs, in exponential time. Simply ignores you when you attempt to ask.
Developer - Agile fullstack developer extraordinaire. 8 years experience on paper.
Insists on doing the absolute minimum required in the user story, because more would be a waste. Does not believe in thinking ahead for edge conditions because it isn’t in the story. Every single PR is a hack around existing code. Sometimes he hacks a hack that was initially hacked by him. No one understands the components he maintains.
Developer - Team lead. 10 years of programming experience on paper.
Writes spaghetti code with if/else blocks nested 6 levels deep. When asked "how does this work ?”, the answer “I don’t know the details, but hey it works!”. Assigned as the team lead as he had the most experience on paper. Tries organise technical discussions during which he speaks absolute gibberish that either make no sense, or are complete misunderstandings of how our system actually works.
The last 2 guys are actually highly regarded by my company and are several pay grades above me. The rest were hired because my company was desperate to staff the project.
There are a 3 more guys I didn’t mention. The 4 of us literally carried the project. The codebase is ugly as hell because the others merge in each others crap. We have no unit tests, and It’s near impossible to start because of the quality of the code. But this junk works, and was deployed to production. Today is it actually hailed as a success story.
All these 3 guys have quit. 2 of them quit without a job. 1 found a new and better gig.
I’m still here because I need the money. There’s a tsunami of trash code waiting to fail in production, and I’m the only one left holding the fort.
Why am I surrounded by morons?
Why are these retards paid more than me?
Why are they so proud when all they produce is trash?
How on earth are they still hired?
And yeah, FML.8 -
Wrote my friend Sam a letter when I was still working in support. I think it still holds up today.
---
Dear Sam,
I understand that you will join us in our overseas office. Congratulations on landing that job. It’s good steady work. I’ve been doing it for the last ten years.
Your still young so maybe I can give you some little wisdom that will help you in your working years to come.
Let me begin by shedding some light on phone calls.
I try. I really do try Sam. But it is getting so hard for me to hold back the rage that builds up during certain phone calls. Especially the ‘Sorry, I just don’t know anything about computers! -giggle-’ ones.
Those are the times that I have no access to what they see. I’ve no team-viewer, can not take over that screen in any other way. And why-oh-why can I not take over that terminal session dear Sam? It’s because the caller can not double-click an icon or find a terminal session number.
And what is the reason for this? Because they ‘just don’t know anything about computers! -giggle-’. This is a sort of get-out-of-jail-free card. Beware of these callers Sam.
There is nothing so nerve-wrecking then finding yourself at the mercy of people describing Internet Explorer (do not even get me started) as ‘the big ‘E’, if they use Chrome for their webmail then they most likely will say ‘Mail’ if they mean Chrome. There is no logic Sam. That is just the way these people work.
They will suck all enjoyment out of your work. They will make you want to hunt them down in dark office hallways and show them your tears Sam. Because cry you will.
Sure, I understand that not everyone can be tech savvy. Why, if everyone would be, where would that leave us? No. I love the technologically challenged. They put the fiber in my internet. They make me LOL for real. After the initial anger subsides anyway.
But just below that well-willing folk, on the other side of that border… there they dwell: Management.
Nice cars, suits and iphones Sam. First thing a new manager will require is a brand spanking new business-card. It will hold his/her new title. Then an iphone or overpriced android model will follow suit.
Then they will barge into your office, holding it like it’s the next best thing since sliced bread.
Any manager will automatically assume that you will drop anything you are doing at the present moment to acknowledge the presence of greatness. Failing to do so will result in awkward yet fulfilling situations. I recommend that you do not take your hands of the keyboard and give only the slightest of nods after 5 minutes of complete silence and glaring.
Well… you feel the glare. You do not glare yourself. You do not break eye-contact with the monitor. It does not even matter if you are typing for real or not. I once clicked away happily for 5 minutes. I just typed ‘he is still there’ over and over again. Do not break down Sam. This moment will decide your relationship with this individual.
After the nod there will be a flood of words aimed in your general direction. You can disregard anything that is said. It boils down to ‘can not operate device’.
You then take the device from this person and put it next to you on your desk. You’ll ask the name of this simpleton, write it down on a sticky-note, slap that on the phone. Then you’ll write a random date in the not so near future on another sticky and hand that to the bewildered person in front of you.
It will usually utter some incoherent words about ‘needing, time or but’ (I find that ‘but’is a word they like. They tend to use it three or four times consecutive before you usher them through the door).
Now you’ve won Sam. Well… not really. But it will feel good, I can guarantee that.
This must do for now. A new suit is glaring at me for the last five minutes.
Felt good to do something productive with this time.
Take care,
Baltasar
P.s. I just noticed that there is some foam around his mouth. So if you encounter this, don’t worry: it seems to be perfectly normal.13 -
I had genuinely forgotten devRant had a light theme until I saw a rant about it. I went into settings and turned it on for about four seconds, screamed "MY EYES" and rejoined the dark side.4
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Always at home: check
Dark themes ftw: check
Black hoodie: check
At least 2 monitors: check
1k Browser tabs: check
Up all night: check
Tiered 24/7: check
notepad++: check
Keyboard wakes my sister from 2 rooms across: check
Burns in sunlight: check
DevRant: check
What else to be a successful programmer?29 -
How many converted to the Dark Side after working Sublime??
And, now, whenever we encounter the Light Side, we initially search the settings to turn it to Dark...
21 -
There are people in my workplace who ask "why did you set your IDE to dark theme?". How do I convince them that turning off the lights above my cubicle, lowering the screen brightness and having a dark theme is the best thing ever to concentrate?
Not to mention earbuds and a hoodie.
How do I convince them that once you turn to the Dark Side, there's no coming back?6 -
So my girlfriend was complaining about the lights late night. As a regular dev I code until about 2am in the morning.
So here I present the ultimate dark theme. Darkroom red. No additional light source required, just your monitor(s).
16 -
Scariest Web Page i Made:
So i was outside the hotel where my friend works, as he went away to submit work related papers and i sat in the car.
The car was parked in the middle of two others. To pass time i started working on my Web Page..
To me it was just a simple html,css,js source code..(wasn't even client side)...
To the other non-programmer hotel staff (Prying) eyes it was:
A shady guy, dressed in black in a car parked outside the server room. To top that off i had Dark theme on my editor.
So now two staff members are staring at me from outside the car...
I was well aware of what message this whole setup might be sending.
So i got a little anxious and did one thing that i should not have done i.e started looking at them with coy eyes as i typed.
Next minute i was being asked to step outside the car.
I was scared,not by the situation ... i was scared of their ignorance and how would i explain what those many colored lines on a black screen meant.
However it was solved..... but i knew this was the scariest page i ever made.6 -
Currently trying to write a dark theme solution for the security blog in pure JavaScript (no jquery).
This is way easier than I thought!108 -
(I wrote most of this as a comment in reply about Microsoft buying GitHub on another rant but decided to move it here because it is rant worthy. Also, no, I'm not a Microsoft employee nor do I have any Microsoft stock).
Microsoft buying GitHub makes sense. They contribute more to the open source community on GitHub than any other company. (Side note, they also contribute/have contributed to the Linux Kernel).
Steve Ballmer isn't running the show anymore. Because of that, we have awesome things like:
* Visual Studio Code - Completely free and powerful light weight IDE for coding in just about any script or language. This IDE is also open source, hosted on GitHub. It can be installed on Win/Mac/Linux.
* Visual Studio Community Edition: fully featured flagship IDE free for solo developers and students, can be installed on Win/Mac.
* Fully featured Sql Server running in a Docker container.
* .Net Core, which can be compiled to native binaries of Windows, MacOS AND Linux. You can't even do that with Java, you have to first have the JVM installed in order to run any kind of Java code on any of those operating systems. .Net Core is also an absolutely beautiful framework with so many features at your disposal.
...and more.
Yes, they've done bonehead things in the past but who/which company hasn't. Yes, they have Cortana. Yes, they force Bing on you when searching with Cortana (does anyone actually regularly use Cortana? Or Bing?). Yes, their operating system costs money. Yes, their malware-style Upgrade-to-Windows-10 tactics were evil and they admitted such. Yes, they brought ads and other unfortunate things to Skype. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about that Skype bit translating over into GitHub. BUT, the fact that so many of their employees use GitHub daily means they are dogfooding the platform, which is a positive thing.
Despite the flaws, from the perspective of a software engineer they really should be given a lot of credit for all these new directions they are moving in now. They directly aim to help and contribute to the developer community. Plus, Windows 10 is finally getting a dark theme! haha.
I think Microsoft buying GitHub makes a lot of sense. Of course do what you want about it, feel how you want about it, but casting the same ol' shade at them for anything they do seems a bit like automatic reflex more than anything else.
I'm bracing myself for the impending wave of angry hornets from the nest I just kicked. In all seriousness though, I welcome discussion on the topic even if you feel differently than I do. I'm not saying there's no reason to dislike them, just saying there are lots of new reasons to hate them less and/or appreciate what they are doing now.19 -
Cleaning lady: *wants some tunes during work*
Me: "Sure, I wanted to listen to some music as well.. not sure if our genres match though 🤔"
Cleaning lady (CL): "So what kind of music do you listen to?"
Me: "Synthwave"
CL: "So um.. synthesizers?"
Me: "Well yes, but it kind of ties in with the dark side of technology.. the whole 1984 dystopian future etc. Privacy, lack of user freedom, etc."
CL: "So essentially cult music?"
TIL that the tech community is a cult for listening to synthwave. I bet she believes that tech peeps are lizards too.
*mentally slaps cleaning lady* - User!!
13 -
Python and a cup of Earl Gray Tea and I feel like captain Picard commanding the Enterprise. The dark theme of the IDE helps, too.
Welcome new side project.4 -
Normal people's morning :
Checking Facebook /Instagram
Developer's mornings :
Checking bit bucket12 -
@dfox You may want to explicitly set the text color on the devRant web app. It's kinda hard to read for those of us who have joined the dark side on Linux (Dark GTK+ theme), at least on Firefox. :)
7 -
Are there any other developers out there who find that people judge their skills based on the color scheme they use in an editor?
I started programming with software that only offered one color scheme and have never felt the need to move away from it since I'm used to it.
While I'm sitting in the office, co-workers often come up to me, take one look at the fact I'm using a light color scheme and feel the need to try and convert me to the dark side as if that will make me a better developer.
Does anybody else experience this?26 -
Someone saw that i didn't use mouse while typing code and asked me how do i do that and i told him that i just use vim. He didn't know what it is and i told him some things that it has a learning curve and stuff and he told me that he will definetely look into it.
Come to the dark side kid.5 -
Just realised some people have a different devRant theme than mine. Went to settings, and joined the Dark Side.1
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Today I made a decision to sign up devRant because I really want to enable "Join the Dark Side" in settings...6
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Due to inspiration of giving up with windows being slow (performance wise) always connecting to MS severs (I have slow internet) so it’s noticeable when I can download quicker on a raspberry pi then on a laptop - both over wifi 🤷♂️
And burning a fucking boot DVD for Ubuntu takes 3 fucking DVDs at 2.4x speed - before getting a successful boot disk 😞
I think it’s time to swap out this hdd and go to the dark side!12 -
@dfox I really wanna thank you for this wonderful app..! An amazing platform to rant,share,laugh,learn ..what not for like minded people...You are so responsive towards users that you brought 'dark side' theme in jus few days ☺17
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A company on my LinkedIn is looking for a Jedi programmer to hire again... I guess their first Jedi didn't fair so well.9
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When I opened my textbook today it took my brain a second to figure out why it isn't in dark mode.1
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Most awkward work event/parts story?
There was a girl who worked in customer service, very goth. Un-kept hair, baggy cloths, dark lipstick, etc..etc. At a company holiday party there were several+many people (mostly dudes) asking "Who is that! ... She's HOT!!" etc (you could hear it from various tables), and someone said "That's Stefanie.", then the "Noooo...OMG..."
Apparently she cleaned up nicely (dressed like she was going to a movie premier, very classy). She and a female friend (also attractive, dressed like a million bucks) were sitting close to each together and you could hear more (inappropriate) comments "OMG, are they together!?...that's fucking hot!....".
Mind you, this wasn't a very big venue (and before all of today's woke-ness), I could hear it a few tables away (again, all dudes, customer service and warehouse worker folks), I *know* they could hear it from their table.
It was so bad Stefanie's CS manager talked about in the break room the next day. She wasn't at the holiday party, but the rumors were going wild that day.
<she's in her 60's and I wouldn't want to be on her bad side>
D: "I can't believe they made such a scene. I would have smacked those young men in the face! Stefanie has a boyfriend and Laura is married. They have been best friends since kindergarten, its disgusting what went on. And another thing..."
It was talked about for many years afterward.3 -
Woohoo!!! I made it to 1000++s :) Now I feel less newbie-like around here :)
So... I don't want to shit-post, so in gratitude to all you guys for this awesome community you've built, specially @trogus and @dfox, I'll post here a list of my ideas/projects for the future, so you guys can have something to talk about or at least laugh at.
Here we go!
Current Project: Ensayador.
It's a webapp that intends to ease and help students write essays. I'm making it with history students in mind, but it should also help in other discipline's essay production. It will store the thesis, arguments, keywords and bibliography so students can create a guideline before the moment of writting. It will also let students catalogue their reads with the same fields they'd use for an essay: that is thesis, arguments, keywords and bibliography, for their further use in other essays. The bibliography field will consist on foreign keys to reads catalogued. The idea is to build upon the models natural/logical relations.
Apps: All the apps that will come next could be integrated in just one big app that I would call "ChatPo" ("Po" is a contextual word we use in my country when we end sentences, I think it derived from "Pues"). But I guess it's better to think about them as different apps, just so I don't find myself lost in a neverending side-project.
A subchat(similar to a subreddit)-based chat app:
An app where people can join/create sub-chats where they can talk about things they are interested in. In my country, this is normally done by facebook groups making a whatsapp group and posting the link in the group, but I think that an integrated app would let people find/create/join groups more easily. I'm not sure if this should work with nicknames or real names and phone numbers, but let's save that for the future.
A slack clone:
Yes, you read it right. I want to make a slack clone. You see, in my country, enterprise communications are shitty as hell: everything consists in emails and informal whatsapp groups. Slack solves all these problems, but nobody even knows what it is over here. I think a more localized solution would be perfect to fill this void, and it would be cool to make it myself (with a team of friends of course), and hopefully profit out of it.
A labour chat-app marketplace:
This is a big hybrid I'd like to make based on the premise of contracting services on a reliable manner and paying through the app. "Are you in need of a plumber, but don't know where to find a reliable one? Maybe you want a new look on your wall, but don't want to paint it yourself? Don't worry, we got you covered. In <Insert app name> you can find a professional perfect to suit your needs. Payment? It's just a tap away!". I guess you get the idea. I think wechat made something like this, I wonder how it worked out.
* Why so many chat apps? Well... I want to learn Erlang, it is something close to mythical to me, and it's perfect for the backend of a comms app. So I want to learn it and put it in practice in any of these ideas.*
Videogames:
Flat-land arena: A top down arena game based on the book "flat land". Different symmetrical shapes will fight on a 2d plane of existence, having different rotating and moving speeds, and attack mechanics. For example, the triangle could have a "lance" on the front, making it agressive but leaving the rest defenseless. The field of view will be small, but there'll be a 2d POV all around the screen, which will consist on a line that fills with the colors of surrounding objects, scaling from dark colors to lighter colors to give a sense of distance.
This read could help understand the concept better:
http://eldritchpress.org/eaa/...
A 2D darksouls-like class based adventure: I've thought very little about this, but it's a project I'm considering to build with my brothers. I hope we can make it.
Imposible/distant future projects:
History-reading AI: History is best teached when you start from a linguistic approach. That is, you first teach both the disciplinar vocabulary and the propper keywords, and from that you build on causality's logic. It would be cool to make an AI recognize keywords and disciplinary vocabulary to make sense of historical texts and maybe reformat them into another text/platform/database. (this is very close to the next idea)
Extensive Historical DB: A database containing the most historical phenomena posible, which is crazy, I know. It would be a neverending iterative software in which, through historical documents, it would store historical process, events, dates, figures, etc. All this would then be presented in a webapp in which you could query historical data and it would return it in a wikipedia like manner, but much more concize and prioritized, with links to documents about the data requested. This could be automated to an extent by History-reading AI.
I'm out of characters, but this was fun. Plus, I don't want this to be any more cringy than it already is.12 -
So I just had this job interview with a "startup" (side note: who the fuck still calls limping companies "startups" in 2024? That is sooooo 2010s).
There was this tattooed and very pale girl (you just know the vibe), the mandatory Norse bearded tall guy and the balding, "I'm-in-my-fifties-but-I-am-not-a-square, maaan" sleasy-looking white guy in a button up shirt but no suit jacket. The whole stereotypes gang came looking for their missing nerdy Indian.
The sleasy bloke goes on and on on a looong tirade on how they're "a tech innovation academy", how they "move fast and break things" and they "run smoking hot", so that "long nights are to be expected".
So, they usual red-flagging shit.
Then they all went on a "but we're not like all those companies that look exactly like us" word salad about "sustainability and a healthy work life balance", with their "highest value" being "the utmost respect at all times". I'm nodding my head at the meaningless splurge until they fart out the sentence "for example, cussing while talking with colleagues is a fireable offence".
If some hustling enterprise rather prefers a posh working environment, one can adapt to such circumstances. Provided, of course, that said enterprise adheres to the administrative coherence expected from a culturally refined institution. Mostly by compliance, from the leadership, to a rigidly predictable working schedule.
Now, if the bloody curs want coder dogs that work assfucking hours with a shit eating grin, they better swallow our fucking sailor mouths. Fuck, I've done twenty hour shifts getting my ass kicked in dark startup fisting/rush rooms. If unable to yell at any blabbering cocksucker to go stick his fucking opinions up the bitch who crapped him, then I ain't gonna bloody be there.
TL;DR they can either have a "utmost respect" working environment XOR a "fast and hot" daily hustle.
After they crapped out that oxymoron I could barely hold myself to avoid saying "sorry, I do not partake in any of the psychedelics you must be on".
On to the next interviews!9 -
Yall know those small biscuits, with half of them covered in chocolate? I mean why half? Cover it all, or leave ot naked, but this way i cant be sure which is the chocolatey side to put on my tongue in the dark. Its a complete gamble.
...yeah im getting fat8 -
The main reason I want to be an app developer is so that I can enable dark themes by default. That way people can see for themselves and the dark side can take over!3
-
My dev colleagues, the ceo, a external designer and me (dev) are sitting in the meeting room
and we discuss the result from the designer. He designed a complete relaunch of a
small CRM for the logistics sector.
The designer is a designer as you know him, big beart, small macbook, chai late
and he designed nothing, he hired a freelancer from romania.
My boss studied software development in the 80s but didn't really developed a software
for about 20 years, but he thinks he knows all and everything.
My boss is constantly complaining about the colors in the design and he would like
a iOS approach. Our system should complete copy the styles from iOS.
The really funny thing happend in just 1 minute. My boss is complaining again about the
colors and told the blue color is way to dark and the designer meant thats not possible the
blue color very bright. My boss sat next to the designer and looked not on the wall where
the picture was thrown from a projector, instead he looks from the side in the macbook screen
of the macbook which was in front of the designer. Then the designer says "Oh my god, the color
changes if I look from the side or from the top of the macbook." The Designer was blown away. My
boss couldn't believe it and did the same movements with his head and said. "Wow, you are right
the color changes".
We all other people couldn't believe that they are so dumb and thought this must be a joke. But
that wasn't a joke. After the meetin my boss told everyone in our company his results regarding the screen.
I wrote every story in a document, and I'm planning to create a book with dumb shit like this.2 -
DevRant setting says "Join the Dark Side?"
No no no...It's 2017, shouldn't it be called the "Other Side"? Apparently a bunch of monkeys get offended by every single damn thing.
Grow TF up, ya Monkeys.5 -
When you've been programming in Visual Studio for 2 years at a company and they hire an intern to help you program.
I set him up with git and the version of Visual Studio we share.
First thing he does is change the theme from dark to light and therefore changing my machine to light since we share the account... Already disliked4 -
So I reach office early , bcz I like to have sun left when I go home.
Other devs arrive almost 3-4 hours after me. And when it's time to leave,
They : you leave so early
Me : yes you ahole. I come early too.
And then they get credits for staying long I'm like yeah if you come at 12-1 you have to stay back.
So fucking frustrating.7 -
In my unenlightened youth, when programming was a module in my college diploma that didn't seem to be taking me where I wanted to go, I had a couple of guys guy in my class that could arguably be the weird ones.
Jonny, although he asserted that he was to be called "Jonhty", whatever, we never did. He was pretty much top of the high school food chain and for some reason elected to study computer science, none of us was prepared to put up with his shit. He was always boasting about some fanciful claim or another, famously entering the classroom and exclaiming he'd "fucked an absolute milf" and seemed somewhat evasive about the answer, turns out he was 17 and she was 35, the age difference was greater than his own age. We burst out laughing. He would also turn up late and state the college bus was late (it wasn't I got the free bus every day, he'd just not got out his wanking chariot early enough).
One valentine's day we got him a card from a mysterious stranger which was accompanied by a package containing a cucumber and Vaseline, the inside of the card read "to assist you in the following request: please go fuck yourself".
Before you think we were being unduly harsh, we had a centre table where we'd be taught from with computers around the outer rim of the room. He'd come up behind people while at the centre desk, quietly press ctrl+P and slowly walk back to the printer. I saw him do it to my machine and I got to the printer first, to which he shouted "that's MY work" which was amusing because unbeknownst to him I had put headers on all my documents so he really didn't have an answer for why my name was at the top of every page.
To top it all off he had dead eyes, there didn't appear to be much going on but the rent, there was no spark of intelligent life, and while I thought it, I never said it out loud, but other students did and I had to agree. He was just copying his way to graduation. However, he ultimately didn't graduate when people refused to allow him to copy.
Another guy, Richard I believe his name was, which is just as well because he was a right dick. In the UK our word for white trash is "chav" (that's a very naïve explanation for it but that's another rant best left for "socialsciencerant") and he was an complete idiot who was gifted with more brain cells than he ever needed to use. He actually studied hard and got reasonable grades, probably on par with me, but he boasted about smoking weed all the time, he was forever playing dark side of the moon via his loud mp3 player. I kinda left him alone generally until he was high in class one time and while we we're watching a documentary he'd shake my chair and make a weird noise in my ear every few minutes, the first couple of times startled me, the remaining multi-dozen times pissed me off.
It all came to a head with this guy when I'd been hearing about his uninteresting bs on drugs, music and how best to spend my time ("you need to lighten up man, come round my house, take a joint and relax man", that sorta thing), well this guy walked like he was mid way through shitting himself so I personally think that perhaps he is too chilled. Anyway he's arguing with me and after the exchange of him making his point, me disagreeing and expecting the end of it, he made the mistake of saying two words to me:
"Listen, mate..."
And I had him in check mate.
"Listen, I ain't your fucking mate , I don't even like you, you're a disruptive annoying twat that thinks he knows it all, we're all 17, none of us know anything, so shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down and stop boring me with your drugs, I ain't interested, and for the record I think pink Floyd ruined prog rock!"
He looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes, and started with the "but, why?", However I was interrupted and had to leave the class for unrelated reasons, I returned to be told he'd put safety pins up right on my chair so I'd sit on them, and mutual friends who TD me I'd been cruel and that he doesn't was hurt, so I should apologize, he overheard and said he was sorry for bring a bit of a dick.
However, you just know when you don't get on with someone? Yeah, that. So I said I wasn't sorry for what I said, for while it was harsh, I am not his mate, nor did I want to be his mate and that was all I had to say on the subject, and that if he wants to take offensive to a nobody not liking him then he's in for a very rough time in life.
Unsurprisingly I don't keep in touch with anyone from college!2 -
I grew up with a hacker for a brother, always tampering with shit and my dad was always taking computers apart and repairing them. Although I was too little to be of any help, I was dumbfounded and couldn’t get enough. To be cool, I took all my toys apart to see what made them work. My brother taught me the dark side of a computer and my father the light side. I could go on and on, but meh.
-
- How do you think, could you port our app to iOS?
- Never did iOS apps, but I will learn and try, maybe I will became iOS dev
Fuck, I'm still supporting it
Dear Android devs, never come to the dark side! It's a nightmare4 -
Why the hate for light theme?
The whole freaking Internet is using light themes. Switching between dark and bright is tiring for the eyes. Simple as that.11 -
Dear Dark Side #3
Honor the hackers who made your childhood:
Store text in .nfo
Trigger a midi when someone makes a patch
Send ASCII art to your graphics dept6 -
Continued from previous post.
The man with hoodie walked down a dark alley. At distance, a house which looked haunted stood. As he entered the house he sighed a relief. Once inside, he descends to the basement where an old computer sat. He turned on the computer and smiled. The screen showed a prompt. With fews keystrokes, a series of scripts begin to execute. Finally at the bottom, a text blinked.
"Awaiting Connection........"
The CPU was recovered from rubble and brought to General's office as per his order. It was connected to a power source and it started to boot. A prompt showed up. A man in suit, suggested perhaps it expected a login. The General sat on his chair smoking a cigar thinking on what action must be taken next.
While men in suit discussed about the CPU, someone plugged in a LAN cable. The General who was lost in thought, saw this from corner of his. A moment passed. General sprang from his chair, hurling his cigar to the floor. As men in suits, looked at the General's display of athletic behavior they sensed the tension. Everyone turned to the CPU now connected to LAN now.
Far way, the screen on hooded man computer showed. "Connected".
A series of scripts started to execute.
Cold wind was all that could be heard out side the General's office building and the house, where hooded man sat in the dark.1 -
Question to all you web developers out there: how do you survive long term in this job without going nuts? I have been working in this industry for almost 7 years and feelings of frustration have accumulated, to the point where I honestly feel like laying g bricks as a job would be more rewarding. Here are the main reasons why:
1) The fact that your job is never "finished" and it looks like and endless stream of tasks. Either the project has money being rolled in or is pretty much dead. Ever changing requirements ensure that most of what you do will be rewritten in 6 months or so. This is ok for the most part, but overtime it does give you the feeling that most of your effort was wasted, and you have the same website/app to show for it, slightly different...
2) The never ending churn of tech, particularly in the Javascript/node ecosystem. Sure, there is a good side of learning new approaches of doing things and it brings variety, but there is the dark side that you never feel you are getting better at doing your job, as every new project does not look anything like the previous. Even if all the stack pieces are the same (never happens), everyone sets it up and organises the project differently enough that you have to spend loads of time solving things you have done before. This makes it difficult to get a sense that you are mastering something...
So, if autonomy, purpose, and mastery are the keys to fulfilling work, I find this career lacking in mastery and purpose...does anyone feels/felt the same? How did you counter it?3 -
Le me...
*installs devRant*
wew, nice app, digs a bit here & there.
* jumps on the settings*
*sees JOIN THE DARK SIDE?*
*slides the slider and endsUp getting Join devRant SignUp page* :/
*thinking....*
may be there is some uncensored shit is going on a dark side of devRant.i dont want to miss it. :v
*creates an account*
*clicks on JOIN THE DARK SIDE? With over 9999999 excitement*
ends up getting the DarkTheme aka NightMode. ;___;
*cries in the corner*
*y you do dis*
8 -
I used to love Linux.
Now I hate it. I'm moving back to windows.
6th fixing time it's done this to me. When I try to login it just sends me right back to the login screen.
CTRL +ALT +F2 let's me login?!
Ugg I have a school paper to write.
So.. I moving back to the dark side.
This is what I get for trying out arch I guess.14 -
I've been working late nights for so long that falling asleep when it's still dark is an achievement for me. So is waking up when it's still morning.1
-
I know you all do love the dark side. Let me help out with the web version for ya' too :)
Dark theme:
https://userstyles.org/styles/...
Optimize for big screens:
https://userstyles.org/styles/...
Have fun :)
4 -
After 700, it takes you to the dark side! That dino bird surprised me outta nowhere.
Try and beat my score? Anyone up for the challenge? :P
9 -
Just got a new phone.
0. Download devRand
1. Join the dark side
2. Go buy a case for when I inevitably drop said phone2 -
Me: *Joins the dark side*
Me: Arrrrrrgh! So ugly!
Later...
Me: *Joins the dark side again and uses devRant for 5'*
Me: Mmm... that's actually better, no way I'm going back3 -
Dear Dark Side #2
Open company projects on all screens
Open your hobby project bottom left screen
Code without guilt
Update company backlog3 -
Use light IDE when there's a lot of light around and dark in the dark.
Your eyes will thank you too in the future.4 -
WE DID IT BOYS! @dfox @trogus I feel that putting our devRant stickers on our laptops is officially a thing- So I'm prepared to join the dark side 😄
-
I'm freaking done trying to get Linux on my machine. I've tried every distro with many different versions of the kernel and I always run into the same problem on my desktop.
The computer super stutters for 2 seconds ish than freezes.
I've spent DAYS looking into this issue trying to find something. The worst part is that it can happen 5 minutes when I boot or 5 hours. At first I thought it was Compton. Then I thought I installed arch wrong. Maybe an update to the BIOS? How about downloading updated microcode? Maybe this obscure bug with AMD processors and setting power idle to typical? Nothing. I'm now behind on my school work because of the massive amount of time ive spent getting this fixed. It works just fine on my laptop, but it doesn't work on the machine I built to code with. I'm done. Give me Force Lightning, a red lightsaber, and call me a Sith baby because I'm joining the dark side. Here I come Windows.
For those who are wondering my setup:
Ryzen 7 1700
Rx 480
Asus x-370 prime
16 gb Corsair RAM
And no, Windows has never had this bug.31 -
New office saga continues... SE1E05
I transitioned from a B2B to B2C role. Now the company and the product is entirely consumer facing.
Many or rather all are actively engineering the product to be more and more dystopian in nature.
Using concepts like FoMo, social validations, and other techniques to get users to spend more into consumerism in the name of building better experience.
It's the darkest shit I have seen so far. And this company is ethically a great one. I can only imagine how pathetic Meta and others would be.
I hate ny role. I hate how I have to do this for a living. Knowingly or unknowingly, I got myself here and absolutely hate where we are headed as a human race.
I don't like it anymore and I am only doing it as a job. No longer proud or excited of my job profile.
Fuck the impact, technology will be a catalyst for human extinction.
And with that, I found a good solution to my Mac 😏
Do check: https://reddit.com/r/Unexpected/...7 -
Android Oreo went to the light side.
Why would they do that?
The dark side is much more fun 👹
I hope they add an option later on....2 -
#confession
I don't know what you guys think but I freaking love programming my own Minecraft client. It sounds childish but I love to see server owners rage when they see their Servers dying because of my exploits. It's a good feeling.
But I got 3 DOS attacks afterwards so there is a high risk to make lifetime enemy's.
Let us all post our dark side of knowledge and the shit we have done to amuse ourselves!11 -
Every website we craft at work has some email substitution logic so that addresses you see on the site don't actually exist in the HTML source like that (you wouldn't find them in a format like "foo@example.com").
Instead the @ and the period right before the TLD get replaced with something else (to prevent (dumb) spam bots from using that address and blast it with junk).
Some people replaced them with images in the past (ew), replaced the @ with "(at)" or other stuff.
I made it a habit to render the @ and . by replacing them with span tags which then get a ::before in CSS that contains "content: '@';", so that the @ is visible but is not actually inside the HTML source code.
The classes for these spans then have a random name (persistent for that website though). The first one was called "move-along-nothing-to-see-here", but then I started naming them after Star Wars quotes.
One website's @ class is called "that-s-no-moon" (Obi Wan), others are called "i-have-a-bad-feeling-about-this" (Han Solo), "powerful-you-have-become-the-dark-side-I-sense-in-you." (Yoda) and "these-are-not-the-droids-you-are-looking-for" (Obi Wan).12 -
Why is planning so awful at so many tech companies (and in general I guess)?
I’m barely a month in and already having to drop current projects because someone made a promise to someone else and realized at the last minute “wait we need infrastructure for this” and came to me out of nowhere “hey we need this super complicated pipeline and complex architecture built”
I ask boss about how this should fall in priority, he basically says “figure it out”. Okay….thanks.
I ask for the business case from the requesters and when they need it and I’m told “we’re going live in late September”
Go back to boss, tell him what I “figured out” and asked if this was something he intended for me to take on. He skimmed through the ticket and gave a non-committal “I’m not sure what this is”. I’m still trying to figure out the infra here, still haven’t gotten access to half the things linked in the JIRA, but there’s been about 3 email chains and a Director recently DM’d me on slack asking for an update.
So I guess I’m flying in the dark on this one.
If you never hear from me again in this community I probably flew into the side of a mountain or something. This new job ain’t it.7 -
Dear Dark Side #1
Reformat code in all files
Push changes with commit message "Major changes."
Log 2 hours -
"You can Download Sublime Merge, and try it for yourself - there's no time limit, no accounts, no metrics, and no tracking. The evaluation version is fully functional, but is restricted to the ***light theme only.***"
In your butt light theme haters ;)4 -
Have you ever felt that you are just existing mechanically like a robot?
I went through a dark phase and came out on the other side stronger. Though people helped me but technically I was all alone.
I have had countless people tell me that I inspire them.
I used to get approached by so many every week for mentorship and career advice.
One of my closest college friend said he survived extreme Schizophrenia and depression because of my support.
Hell, I have had people tell me that they are alive today because of me.
I never bragged about my achievements unless asked. People said they feel light and positive after talking to me. They felt I gave them a sense of purpose.
I used to have immense clarity in my life. My life path used to be crystal clear.
Many even said I am the happiest they met.
But with recent narcissist abuse, all my life, emotions, and positive energy drained out of me. Literally squeezed. My biggest regret.
I can no longer feel a soul within me. I cannot feel happiness. I am fucking lost.
I am just existing like a mechanical machine and I hate it. This is taking me longer to heal than the time frame I anticipated.
I feel this will take some more time for me to heal but I am 100% sure I'll fucking bounce back and bounce harder.
I'll dream again...
I'll smile again...
I'll make new friends again...
I'll love again... I'll live again... -
I hate Eclipse.
I have the Student membership for a year but I can't use IntelliJ for my project because I HAVE to use Eclipse.
I'm around 80% - 90% done with my project, so I guess I won't have to deal with it much longer.3 -
I had high ideals when I started working here. The entire code base was practically devoid of comments. Its been 5 years and it is still practically devoid of comments. I have become like them...
8 -
My eyes are burning. Too much color on the notifications page, evil avatars.
There should have been a warning "Do not open in dark!"5 -
I think dark mode is the best thing ever invented and glad devRant has it, otherwise I would have been blinded by my bright white screen.
*Awkwardly starts playing Blinded by the Light song*8 -
Joined the dark side.
Used to think (),{},[] meant the same. Just a type of brackets they said
Started counting at 0
Designer/Developer perspective to every website/app I visit
Rubber ducks were children bath toys
And for the love of LINUS! Stop asking me to hack your bf/gf 's social media accounts. -
I've been here for almost a year now but was too lazy to sign up. It was only a commute or lunch timepass thing.
But finally few days ago something so frustrating happened that I actually signed up. I dint post it as it would have been immature but now that the plus icon works I finally can post stuff..!1 -
Hello Darkness, my old friend, I finally moved to dark side xD. Paying a little didn't even hurt, though I got some stickers from Unixstickers, thanks to someone in comment on a random rant here.
P. S. - No, I haven't used them all yet, I just put them together for a group photo and no, arch is not like that.
12 -
I was designing and building a portfolio page for a photographer. He mostly does black & white portraits with either a white or black background so I had the idea of splitting the page into a light and dark side (Star Wars joke definitely intentional).
I worked waaay too long on a *diagonal* CSS wipe animation when the user switches sides and I was quite proud of it.
Half a year later we realize that basically no one has noticed the switch button. Analytics confirmed it was less than 4% of visitors. 🤦♂️3 -
Me: Ok it looks like Gamemaker will never come to linux and I can't get it running under wine... Suppose it wont hurt to learn monogame while I have Linux, Mac and windows to hand...
*Googles tutorials*
Me: Oh god there is fuck all, it just points to XNA stuff... Oh look a tutorial for monogame itself!
*Notices its an official Microsoft tutorial*
Me: Swallow your pride Alex... Go to the dark side and use a Microsoft product willingly...
... I feel dirty... As if i should have a bleach bath...2 -
!rant
I may have just joined the Dark Side and ordered a new Macbook Pro. If anyone can smell burning, it's probably my wallet.2 -
I used to love tabs and absolutely despise spaces, but a combination of using IntelliJ and company code indentation convention has converted me to the dark side #spacegang4
-
There should be image-whiteness-check when posting images. It hurts so much when mostly white images throws white spears to my eyes while I scroll in dark theme unprepared for war with the white side.7
-
Use devRant since August, just found "join the dark side" (darkula) option. Much wow! I'm a moron...2
-
SOOO last monday I got a new MS Office and Outlook in my office. It's ugly as fuck and not as functionable as the old one we got here, and I cannot install Thunderbird or so...
But at least NIGHT THEME WUUUU
-
I once used some Windows theme hack in Windows 7 to be able to get a dark background in Explorer.
As a side-effect, Microsoft Word shows me the same dark background as well for its documents even though I didn't tell it to. I didn't mind, though...
But now the fun part: When I wanted to print out the document, it prints with that same dark background... seriously, is this shit hardcoded in?! No wonder you couldn't get a proper dark theme with Windows 7!
(I hope Windows 10 full dark theme won't have this weird issue!)2 -
Still on the fence: to jump to the dark side and become a consultant - or stay where I’m at. There be cookies on both sides. And now there be offers aplenty as well…
To stay and do DevSecOps and refactoring (and hopefully in the future rearchitecting) in an environment I’m very damn comfortable in or jump into the unknown (tho into any of the few tech companies I have a positive image of) to become a cloud consultant? Or to work with F#? Or to the EV industry? So many options…
I’m spoiled with choices and I don’t like that.7 -
Back in the day my dad had this Fortran book he was studying at the time. I had just learned reading but and remember looking at the funny book and wondering why I can't understand anything. Still have that book as a fond reminder =D
My dad noticed me trying to read it and got me this funny BASIC for kids. At the same time we got our first computer. At that you couldn't buy games. Usually the books had the source that you had to type in and compile.
So this funny BASIC book with funny pictures had the source for moonlander... And man was I hooked. Next came the "monkeys throwing bananas" =D
Back in the day everyone was also on the dark side. Prompt was always white on black ;)1 -
Screw it. I’ve gone over to the dark side and become a consultant. Let’s see what life in consultancy brings.5
-
Why the fuck do SD cards always land on the floor dark-side up?! It's so fucking frustrating to find them!!7
-
Alright i make jokes alot of times for fist over ip but damn there's just so fucking many people that it could be useful on. Somebody needs to figure this shit out where i can go dark side and just choke a dumbass no class asshole out.
-
I mostly can’t see properly on dark themes. Thank you light themes for existing. I use slightly dark themes for IDEs though (One Dark)
3 -
I wanted to join the dark side, so I did, now I can't tell the difference between read and unread notifications. Am I thick?6
-
!rant
Was wondering, what's so good about dark themes? I just use the default and tried but don't use things like Flux.
I don't feel I have any problems but.... wondering if I should switch?5 -
Morpheus: Do you want to know what is the Dark Side, Neo?
Neo swallows and nods his head.
Morpheus: Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Dark Side is. You have to see it for yourself.
Neo: How?
In Neo's right hand, Morpheus drop a red pill in his left, a blue pill.
Morpheus: If you take the red pill, you will join the Dark Side. If you take the blue one, the story will end. After this, there is no going back.
Remember that all I am offering is the truth. Nothing more.
Neo opens his mouth and swallows the red pill.
So... are you brave enough like Neo, to join the Dark Side?
5 -
The Google Messaging app update is like forcing people to switch to the dark side. I mean before there wasn't evenvan option? But now I'm actually looking for/want one... And it's there...
The colors before the update were nice solid, not this girly (no offense) light color.
10 -
On This Episode of Ghetto Medium..
Posted after midnight for extra spooky effects. Read in the dark at your own risk. You've been warned.
So my mother has been on a binge watching shows like long island medium (apparently the taller your hair the closer you are to god or something), and every time we talk she begins at length to talk about, you guessed it.. 'ghosts.'
Now don't get me wrong, I've had some 'spooby' shit occur in my lifetime, the sort that will tighten your sphincter faster than bill cosby asking you if you want some koolaid or grape drank, but I digress.
The ghost talk is tiring. Lately theres been a *flood* of these new shows, purportedly showing mediums and people who can 'look into the other side' and I realize just how vapid and ridiculous it's all become, as if they all are being personally haunted by the ghost of John Edwards burnt out husk of a career. Theres long island beehive big-hair medium, celebrity medium, allison DuBois (the inspiration for that one sappy show *medium*) whos red hair and vacant stare speak of glimpses into centuries past like an intimate unseen horizon. or maybe she forgot to unplug her curling iron in a hotel one time and has been rendered permanently catatonic. And who can forget *Beyond With James Van Praagh* (everyone) whos face, as measured by the width of his mustache, appears to be expanding at a constant rate like a bad image macro edit thats been memed and repasted a thousand times. Then theres Chip Coffee, whos name is about as believable as his teaching degree on the show *Psychic Kids* where he mentored, again, you guessed it, *psychic kids*. Of course theres Tyler Henry, a youthful, uh, "flamboyant" medium for celebrities with ghost problems. Never trust a man with two names, this ones no exception, he looks so clean cut hes either secretly mormon, or secretly gay, maybe both. I'm not judging, but I am saying if I ever saw his clean cut, smooth, wrinkless (seriously, how tyler? how?), all american face, say smiling that subtle smile outside my kitchen sliding glass door at 3 am, his face watching me from the pitch dark outside, I wouldn't at all be surprised, except for the hospital bill I'd have to pay after shitting a brick and needing anal surgery.
At this rate we have mediums popping out left and right, like clowns at one of them R.L Stein nightmare carnivals, or beggers outside a methodone clinic. Geez, they're coming out the wood work, like those painting you see with hidden faces in them, or wheres-waldo posters, only you're trying to find the non-waldo guy amongst all the characters because they're ALL waldo: goofy acting, goofy dressing, and just all around goofy looking.
At this rate I'm fully expecting "pet medium" (starring a character named Stephen King and his marital problems, played by johnny depp eating way to much corn), and "haunted objects medium", and "car medium" (it's just seinfeld in a car, talking to psychics instead of other people), and "ghetto medium."
Today on this episode of "Ghetto Medium"..
Medium: Teneesha, aw yeah girl, u *definitely* ded gurl, uh huh! You WAY to white too be alive, you done passed over gurl!
And in the next episode of Ghetto Medium, one man claims "every time I bend over I can hear "wOoOoOoOoO!, Is my asshole possessed? Find out is it real or fake, and what our verdict is in Ghost Medium, episode 3: A Haunting In My Nether-regions."
Cut commercial break.
"Jerry Springer: One women asks, 'jerry, is my unborn child's foreskin haunted? And later today we ask the crowd, would you have sex with a ghost?"
Welcome to American television 'programming' in 2019.
Yes, it's all brainwashing.2 -
Yocto is the most overly complicated shit on earth! How the fuck did i ever get my board to boot? You get so easily lost in layers and bb and bbappend and there are like 20 flavours of assignement operators and to configure the kernel you need to run one command for menuconfig and then another right after to pull a diff out of the .config into your project. otherwise noone else will have your changes. TrY the same thing with the bootloader and the whole thing shits its pants. Also there are like four devicetree that are required for boot. And if you specially fuck up here, your hardware will be an expensive paperweight. Also there are like featuresets that enable shizz like wayland or ethernet but good luck finding out what in the actual genderbent jesus the thing you just configured does. And there is like no way to visualize any of it as its just a cockblock of text and files. Also if you use search the results are most likely useless. As the thing you are looking for is a filename and vscode does a text search only. Also you can add layers but whatever the fuck that means as a bsp is like a layer but so can also be a kernel patch or some rando variable change. And good luck fugurig out to which dir $PWD points to. As it could just be on the Elon Musk nazi base on the dark side of the moon. Also every folder starts with meta for some dumb reason. And if it starts compiling you could just aswell build a coffin and go into winter hibernation. It takes fucking forever. I have a 3800x and the build takes 1.5h. Why? Because, BECAUSE, B E C A USE! There is a require package called optee. Which need a python package. That package depends on a crypto lib thats written in rust. And since its all from source, it downloads the FUCKING rust compiler source and compiles the compiler to compile a lib that only takes like 5 seconds to compile. Also good luck figuring that out without constantly staring at the compile log. As there is some compilation time info but you need to write a parser for that first as there is no included anal -lyzing tool for it. I could keep on yappin' waaay longer about why dantes inferno is kindergarten compared to yocto, but i dont have enough alcohol in the house to fuel that.1
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"...researchers have delved into "the dark side" of inviting rubber ducks and other flexible plastic toys into our tubs. "
https://medicalxpress.com/news/...
Be careful playing around with you devDucks xD1 -
!rant
Ooooh. devRantron looks really fancy. Thanks for the AUR package :)
Really liking the themes "coming soon" - We must convert them all over to the dark side! Muhahahahah!
Erm I mean... *whistles*4 -
I bought the new dell xps15 57 days ago and now it’s ducked (pun intended).
Last week the screen stopped working. I powered off and back on. Then I get a cpu failure light sequence.
I call dell. To my surprise they have given me next day support for free. The guy comes the next day.
He says he will come between 4-6pm. at 615pm he phones me and says he will be late. I hang out at work to wait for him.
Finally at 730pm he comes and doesn’t have a screwdriver for the laptop. So he leaves to go buy one. 8pm he comes back. It takes him an hour to replace the motherboard by which time I just want to check it works and then go home. It seems good and we both leave the dark office at 930pm.
The next day I notice the sound isn’t working. He also hasn’t closed the laptop properly and there is a dent on the right hand side.
Despite dell giving me next day support it takes a week for them to come back with a solution.
I now have to send it off to them and I’ll be a week without the laptop...
It was incredible when it was working. But laptops aren’t great when they don’t work!
Perhaps I should have got a Mac...4 -
I want to rant here but I have a lot of backlog. They’re all pretty deep for refinement. So I want to put them all in one sprint. Because I don’t want a marathon of ranting.
But I do realise in IT sprints never end, and eventually turn out to be a marathon of sprints. I came to a point to deliver over 100 story points in one sprint. Maybe I shall write a book instead of exploding this app.
I could have never imagined the dark side of this occupation.
However I love coding so much I’ll brush the backlog under the carpet😏
But you know there are always saviour heros wanted for refactoring. This honour goes to:
The arrogant guys who think they’re a genius when their code compiles.
The insecure guys who want to overpower the next available when their code doesn’t compile.
The egoists who like to underestimate and show of, where their faulty biased googles display a little girl instead of a developer.
The aggressives when they are invited to the reality and kindly offered to sit back on their place.
I hope this rant wouldn’t ouch anyone. If it does, not sorry, the message is delivered.
If there’s an offence or reaction to this refactoring job, the 4th one would be offered to clean the mess.2 -
!dev, !sponsored
It takes a fair bit for me to enjoy an online course, let alone want to recommend it.
if anyone is looking at using their "free" time learning something new during these troubling times, i would go look at the Packt Courses.
@whocares suckered me in the other day, and i have to admit, i dont regret it.
https://devrant.com/rants/2441665/...
So with that i would actually say to anyone wanting to get into:
- Java
- Python
- Go(lang)
- Data Science
- C++
- Ruby
- Clojure
- PHP
- webDev (html, css, javascript)
then checkout these workshops.
https://courses.packtpub.com/pages/...
or
https://courses.packtpub.com/enroll...
you can actually enroll into all of them using the free coupon, so theres that ☺
one down side is the lack of dark mode, but im sure we all have browser extensions for that.2 -
Just joined the ++ dark side. I've been part of this community for a while now and it's on of the best if not the best I've ever seen!
Even though I don't have a close connection to any of you I still want you to know I love all you guys/galls!
Thanks to the devs for creating this wonderfull app and keeping it updates. Go get yourself a cup of coffee with this extra income.6 -
Dear Dark Side #4
Purge Hotkey extremists:
Swap Undo with Force Push
Swap Reformat Code with Delete File
Check all dialogue boxes to Don't show this again.3 -
Dear Dark Side #6
Clean secret stripper club pervs:
Hit Alt Space on targeted machines
If a stripper shows on the desktop, purge
If a password prompt, demote4 -
Successfully moved out of my current team and got assigned in Business Analyst track of my organization. Now that I’ve joined the dark side, should I stop using DevRant? Or is it a fairly technical role as well?6
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I hate the company (agency) I moved to...I've negotiated good pay and the project for cutting edge medical product which will change the world (cancer diagnose and it actually works).
Now the dark side I've got shit tier laptop which I don't want, overtime is payed 30% less, all the people in the agency from development team don't know shit and are mostly I would call them juniors (of course who would with enough seniority work with shit hardware and almost not payed overtime), only tap water and since this is the old part of town you instantly get sick, they treat people like shit.
The product dark side. We are actually working on crm for doctors to input patient data, we cannot have any real data because we are the agency people, product is being led by the guy who has 0 production experience (they choose the database basically with coin toss and emulated the mongodb in postgress with jsnob, they don't know how to build their own auth system hence my previous rant about b2c, they are using cognito and now moving to auth0 which probably won't fit their need because a lot of stuff needs to be custom), they are choosing every hipe tech out there without any prior experience. It's chaos...
I'm trying to guide them but i think this will be a huge expensive failure and that i need to leave asap.
There I feel better now, moral of the story, choose startups wisely.1 -
Dear Dark Side #5
Don't respect updates, save your company:
Create restore points on your colleagues machines.
6 months later, restore those points.
6 months later, restore those points. -
Okay. Confession time:
I made a devRant account to "Join the Dark Side". Dark themes are so much better than light themes. They're easier on the eyes (at least for me), they have more aesthetic appeal, and I personally love the color combinations. So I just wanted the dang dark theme. What I got was an addiction to devRant. Well done you sly developers you just hooked another user.1 -
Sometimes I wonder how long it will take for society to stop starting every. single. conference call with "Hello? Helloooo? ... Can you hear me? I can year you!". Like it's a semaphore tower, or a shortwave radio communication to the dark side of the fucking moon.
I mean... what the ever-loving fuck. This technology has been around for 20 years now, how is it still so god damn broken, inconsistent and unreliable that we actually still all do this?
I'm sure after 20 years even Antonio Meucci and Alexander Graham Bell were no longer starting every damn phone call that way. GOD DAMNIT!5 -
After weeks of agonizing and cursing Electron JS and JavaScript......
I finally managed to get all my modules to sync up and play nice with each other!
Love JavaScript again! Although seriously had enough issues with asynchronous tasks and threads.
Heading over to the dark side(functional) now.... 😈😈
2 -
holy crap! i really am used to light themed ide. for some reason i played around last time and left it dark. now i just used it for twenty minutes. then i found the color scheme kind of strange and wanted to switch back to good old light theme.
seems i have to get used to the new colour scheme. ouch. -
Courses and modules for languages don't focus enough on the "Dark Side". How TF am I supposed to help prevent XSS when it's not explained to me beyond using a sanitizer. Sigh!1
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