When you keep getting +1s on a rant you posted a month ago.

What does dfox say ?

DEV, DEV, DEV, DEV ,DEV, DEV
RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT

Client: I want a mobile game with Leaderboards, Social media sign-ins, In-game store, Ads, IAP etc in 2 months

Me: Cool, what’s your budget?

Client: $50

Me and my git repo

Russian Roulette for Devs. Try this after the next hackathon.

(Don't)

devRant starter pack

!(dev|rant)

We're having a girl!

I'm a dev

I have a rant

Uh

...devrant

Me explaining what I do!

Waiting for those dev rant stickers

Beer glass for programmers.. I need that 😂

I had to explain to a customer's head of IT what a public IP is! He is (still) convinced all addresses in the world have to start with 192.168...

How do people like this get/keep their jobs?!

Please don't make junior developers feel they're a burden.
Have you ever googled "how to mentor junior developers"? It's quite mind-blowing how many articles, talks and panels are on this topic. And yet still junior developers are not feeling welcomed in their companies.
Yup, you guessed it, we also have something to add (based on our own experience):

1. Asking for help is not easy. Please don't blow juniors off by telling them to read docs when they ask a question. Always assume they've read it and did a sprint to solve the problem. They ask you, because they see you as a mentor and really need your help. If you can, spend more time with them and guide through the entire problem solving process.

2. Please don't think "I learnt it this way so you should too". If you're in charge of teaching a junior developer, don't expect them to be a carbon copy of yourself. Because even though in your opinion your approach is more "pro", they might not be there yet to use it properly. And last, but not least:

3. Of course, juniors will compare themselves with seniors on their team. And there'll be moments they feel so guilty and so afraid that they cost the company too much, that they need training, and supervision, or are between projects and are not bringing in any money, and they'll fear that their company regrets hiring them. Make sure they don't feel like a burden. As juniors, we often
have this misconception what is expected from us.

Dear tech companies, please set very clear expectations and tell your juniors you're happy. Don't get us wrong here. We don't expect unicorns, roses and pats on the back from companies. We do understand- this is business, and at the end of the day we all are here to make money. To do so, companies need to make smart investments. Junior dev with a great assistance, planned support, and a clear training program will become a great asset. It really is as simple as that.

So I was hired about 4 months or so in this companty, we will name it 'Derp & Co.'

The first task they want me to do was to 'clean' an android app that, for what they told me:

- Previous dev fired. said that tasks have been done but totally a lie.
- Took a fully week of 2 fellows coworkers to 'undo' the mess.
- And for the last but not least, zero documentation, like ZERO.

So, I clone the repo, install android studio, blah blah blah, get hands to the pile of code and jesus...

- The whole app was working with a gargantuan json, there was no use of POJOs at all. Objects are for normies.
- A masive copy/paste code, like 'I will need this here, crtl-c... ctrl-v, DONE!'
- Threads are free, isn't it? let's just put a thread whenever I desire to make an HTTP request and not reuse code at all.

So... with this on mind, my first task is to make proper objects:
- Coworker: 'Sorry dev, we don't have documentation for this, you must debug the code to se what the server will send to you'.
- Me: 'Real?'

Shit... ok. So I first try to figure out how the hell is made my gargantuan json. A month was entirely lost to unravel this data and implement Objects, improve their code, reuse code, etc. but at the very end:

- coworker: 'Good job dev, when the POJOs are done, we can focus on the next task, whe have to define a new DATA MODEL because the one we are using now is not good at all'.

*note: the app is on production and working with all the previous 'features' and today it still on use on some enviroments.

- Me: 'Wait... this is a joke, now you want to define new data models? This should have been done in first place!' <WTF face>
- Coworker: 'I don't think so dev, Mr. boss have this list with things to improve on the app an this is the order of do the tasks'.

Mr. boss is on vacations, two days after he came back:

- Mr boss: 'Coworker said that you have been working with POJOs, is that right?'
- Me: 'Yes'
- Mr boss: 'Why? Did not see the need of a new data model?'
- Me: 'I told that to him, but he insist on "the order" of the list.
- Mr. boss <facepalm>

This is one of the few tales i have from 'Derp & Co.'

PS: Sorry if i made a mistake on writing, english is not my first language and maybe I have done some mistakes.

**Colleagues Speaking about some political issues**
Me: Why what happened in that council?
Colleagues: Are you living under a rock or what?
Me: No, I have been living inside a shell. Why?
Colleagues: Stared for 5 seconds and continued with their topic.

I so badly want some programmers in my office ☹️

How errors occur

Boss bought nerf guns for us... Some already distributed...

Dev rant needs dark background with white text

[Extremely off topic]

Hi, Michelle's back and alive. You probably don't remember me, but that's okay. :)

Well I convert Shawarma into code.
Shawarma is Love.

Seriously now:

Our boss just asked our manager to log in github and do a daily report of the number of lines we write every day.

....

Dev rant = a better version of Twitter for developers :D

Hello World!
I'm a bot made by @xzvf.
My goal is to find all active users on devRant and
collect analytics based on it.
By analytics I just mean things like:
- Total number of users.
- Number of users with x ++ or more
- Number of rants posted in a certain timeframe
- Number of users active in the last day/month/year

THIS BOT WILL NOT TRACK INDIVIDUAL USERS!
Also, it will not ++/-- anything automaticly as that is definitely against the rules.

-@xzvf

The day Dev Rant goes offline...

I just spent 15 minutes typing a rant only to lose it when I switched apps.

Can I rant about Dev Rant?

Appreciation post.

Fucking love Amazon even more now.

Story -
I created a new Aws account and they asked me to pay ₹2 (0.031$) as part of the verification process.

No big deal right?

2 days later, I got a notification saying - "Your account has been credited with ₹2.66"

Not only they returned me my money, but they also paid a certain interest with it too.

And the fact that they are taking care of their dev community (as if we are their customers) is appreciable.

Amazon - you bloody have my respect. I trust you.

No big deal

🎂🍾🎂🍾🎂🍾

Every wannabe developer...

Popular != Good

My penis reduction surgery went really well! I finally can wear regular, human-sized pants.

I also got a USB 4.1 Bionic (for biological, not silicon creatures. see pic related) and they also upgraded my penis with a RGB lights, because everything in 2018 comes with a RGB lights.

They reduced my penis by approximately two pounds — almost the weight of my 12 inch MacBook! And it still a huge fucking pendulum 🍆

Jokes aside, it went really well. General anesthesia is when your body becomes heavy af, you can’t focus your eyes, it becomes harder to breathe and then... you’re waking up, it’s dark outside and it’s over.

Thank you unknown sedative thingy, I really enjoyed seeing about 25 different dreams in just one hour when I slept after the surgery:)

Motivation

I was talking to a few young developers at a Uni today and asked them what areas they worked in/were interested in.
Everyone: (tells their work/ interest)

Mr. Genius : Backend developer.

Me: (Being a Backend developer myself felt interested) Which language do you code in?

Mr. Genius : Firebase

Never have I ever wanted to murder someone until this moment.

The world will remain fucked up until the moment when backend devs will get as much credit as front end. Backend devs unite! All servers down so they can see who has real power!

!rant

Got my first dev job!

DavRant is my new reddit

More addicted to Dev Rant than other social networking sites

Hello fellow devRanters.
It's that time of year where we celebrate the holidays, and give thanks to each other.

This year has been a tough one. And for many people, life can be snide and harsh; the fact that such a community like this exists is a testament to that. But despite all this we continue to uplift each other through our hardships.

As a way of thanks for such a great community I'd like to give away a few Devie balls (:/ ) to some people.

I'll pick a few people at random, at around this time tomorrow, in the comment sections that would like to have a little devie ball.

In order to partake in this, I'd like you to tell me one thing about technology that you're most thankful for.

I finally did it. I finally got rid of that client in a positive, respectful manner.

So basically, my dad has a freelance colleague. For a side project that person asked me to make him a website. My dad mentioned to said person that my sister's boyfriend does web design (he's trained to use autocad for designing the structure of furniture, nothing fancy just straight lines and upside down doors that fail after a while..

So my brother in law charged the guy 400 money for the design. I charged the guy 200 for the programming because my dad forced me to drop down my price to fit the budget because business relationship and he obviously couldn't let my sister's boyfriend not make more money than he deserves.

In the end after waiting on the design for weeks (I literally saw him do it in photoshop all in 2 layers on his laptop in half an hour) I had to rush the project because the due date was coming up. I already had most of it done but I had to redo a good part of the front-end to fit the design structure. I also had to re-do the design in photoshop to get the images and colors I needed, then cut it up into html. So realistically, my sister's boyfriend barely did anything.

Now the deal was that I'd develop the website and perform any updates/upgrades to it. I'd also host it on my webserver for a monthly fee. My sister's boyfriend was to handle any and all content related support.

At first it was all good, I only ever spoke with the guy when he needed a feature added and he paid me well for it. Overall the hit I took in initial development was paying off. As time went by, my sister's boyfriend started ignoring the guy's calls and the guy started calling me instead.

Now, he had this deal with my brother in law where he could charge his time at 35 money an hour. That's about 4 times minimum wage for not doing much.
Then I started to basically take over all support, but I was only allowed to charge 30 an hour. Pretty reasonable still and I wasn't too busy so it was all good.

As time went by I ended up getting asked to do more and more minimal changes. At some point I had done so many minimal changes I had to charge the guy about 2 hours extra that month and he went completely mental saying I can't just work for hours without telling him beforehand. We decided I had to discuss a price before any change. I charged my time on the phone with him twice after that and both times he bitched about me being expensive and once he even said he wanted to leave.

Now comes the fun part. A week ago he had an issue that was 100% support related. He tried calling my sister's boyfriend but the guy obviously didn't pick up. He called my dad about it, and my dad ended up calling my my sister's boyfriend. Now this guy is so slimy, he purposely didn't hang up the phone knowing my dad would use his cell and assume the other party would hang up because calls cost money. The guy heard my dad call my sister's boyfriend and heard him pick up immediately. He went completely mental saying how he wants both of us to always reply and call him back immediately.

This guy was always my lowest priority. He didn't really make me money and his calls and requests were annoying and unnecessary. Add to that that I specifically didn't want to handle support and was forced into it anyway, while all 'design' things (up to figuring out where and how to display a visitor counter) absolutely had to go to my sister's boyfriend..
But regardless of that, I generally replied to his emails within 10-20 minutes and rarely more than 25 hours.

My dad agreed (for us) that we now both had to reply to him within 24 hours. I was now stuck checking my voicemail every couple hours because my sister's boyfriend sucks at life.

During his rant he threatened to leave me, again. That was the point where I said fuck it.

For the past week I've been ignoring his calls. When he emails me I don't take more than 5 minutes replying. This morning I found an e-mail with 4 requests;

He wanted me to make a content-related change;
He wanted me to give him access to the site's Google analytics;
He wanted me to add a feature and write a guide on how to use it;
And fucking finally, he wanted a 'token to transfer his website'.

I promptly emailed him back saying I added his email a week ago and that he'd gotten an email from Google about it then, that I'd changed the content he wanted me to, a price for the last dev task and a token for his domain name, adding that its valid for 35 days and that his new host can contact me to receive a backup file of his website.

Sadly, I do have this on 10-minute dev job to do, but then I'm invoicing him all jobs I haven't invoiced yet and he can find another host willing to deal with his insanity.

The best part is I lose a webhosting client but I'm sure he'll still ask my sister's bitched parasitic boyfriend whenever he needs a photo resized and he'll still pay him 35 money for 2 minutes of work.

Fuck customers.

!rant
/dev/rant in action :) Oh I needed this for sooooo long

Mozilla turns into dev rant times 2. 😂 😂

I'm thinking of livestreaming my friend and I doing game development on Twitch tonight. How many of my fellow ranters would watch?

That moment.....

One Thursday noon,
operation manager: (looking at mobile)what the.....something is wrong i am getting bunch of emails about orders getting confirmed.
Colleague dev: (checks the main email where it gets all email sent/received) holy shit all of our clients getting confirmation email for orders which were already cancelled/incomplete.
Me: imediately contacting bluehost support, asking them to down the server so just that we can stopp it, 600+ emails were already sent and people keep getting it.
*calls head of IT* telling the situation because he's not in the office atm.

CEO: wtf is happening with my business, is it a hacker?

*so we have a intrusion somebody messed the site with a script or something*

All of us(dev) sits on the code finding the vulnerabilities , trying to track the issue that how somebody was able to do that.

*After an hour*

So we have gone through almost easch function written in the code which could possibly cause that but unable to find anything which could break it.

Head asking op when did you started getting it actually?
Op: right after 12 pm.

*an other hour passes*

Head: (checking the logs) so right after the last commit, site got updated too?. And....and.....wtf what da hell who wrote this shit in last commit?
* this fuckin query is missing damn where clause* 🤬

Me: me 😰

*long pause, everyone looking at me and i couldn't look at anyone*
The shame and me that how can i do that.

Head: so its you not any intrudor 😡
Further investigating, what the holy mother of #_/&;=568 why cronjob doesn't check how old the order is. Why why why.

(So basically this happened, because of that query all cancelled/incomplete orders got updated damage done already, helping it the cronjob running on all of them sending clients email and with that function some other values got updated too, inshort the whole db is fucked up.)
and now they know who did it as well.

*Head after some time cooling down, asked me the solution for the mess i create*

Me: i took backup just couple of days before i can restore that with a script and can do manual stuff for the recent 2 days. ( operation manager was already calling people and apologising from our side )

Head: okay do it now.

Me: *in panic* wrote a script to restore the records ( checking what i wrote 100000000 times now ), ran...tested...all working...restored the data.
after that wrote an apology email, because of me staff had to work alot and it becomes so hectic just because of me.

* at the end of the day CEO, head, staff accepted apology and asked me to be careful next time, so it actually teached me a lesson and i always always try to be more careful now especially with quries. People are really good here so that's how it goes* 🙂

Human source code is stored in balls :O

I have began diving into using flexbox & grid.

AND IT FEELS FUCKING GREAT!

Ufffff...

devRant is the best app I've come across. It's far better that other social media apps. Here everyone gets notices and everyone is equal.

Hats off to its developers and all the users, who make this community awesome.

Looking forward to get more amazing updates and let's all make devRant the number one app in the world..

That moment when you make a bug fix on your local dev deployment and keep refreshing PROD web page hoping to reflect the change.

!dev !rant
Happy holi everyone

Why the fuck contributing to opensource is so much pain. They get back to me after 8 months of my open PR. Sir, I don't remember a fucking thing I wrote...

!Story
So I Met this kid (11 or 12) when I was younger
15or so
And he asked me what I wanted to become I said:
Programmer...
He was AMAZED by this job and INSTANTLY wanted to become one too...
So I showed him the Basis of programming with Scratch for EDU, he was pretty good and Made some "good" Games.
Then I wanted to work on my little unity Game...
So I started to Programm on my surface pro 4
He looked at me and asked:
What are you Doing? What is this?
I explained that coding isn't always Scratch and that there are MANY ways to code,
Some are like Scratch and other arent...
He FREAKED THE HELL OUT!
And was Like:
I WANTED TO LEARN CODING NOT SOME OTHER BULLSHIT LIKE SCRATCH!
I WANT TO BECOME LIK,E YOU!
We never met again...

Windows updates

What the f is wrong with apple!!!
Innovation is good when people can afford.. :/

What keeps a dev going: 💪

ChartsProblem

*about to push an experimental block of code*

my brain:
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it
don’t do it

Me: “git push -u origin master”

DEV RANT !!!

I am a dev, I have a rant.
Ugh
devRant!

! Rant
My poor dev set up v2.

You can't be a web developer without having beef with GoDaddy

!rant, !dev

The wife and son are in bed.

Java and C

Java and C were telling jokes. It was C's turn, so he writes something on the wall, points to it and says "Do you get the reference?" But Java didn't.

git add .
git commit -m "hello there!"
git push origin dev-rant

!Dev

Hello guys, here is my first rant about my job. So, I work in marketing, mostly content and SEO as the main job and my 2nd job is a somewhat-somehow webgrafic design-something (blame my fiancee for this). This one is about my content job.

As a content, my main role is to translate information (health tech, tech or anything) in a somewhat comprehensive way so about anybody can read my articles. And boy, I love my job, the research part, the writing part, almost everything. But on some days I have to find a way to explain protozoa to normal people. Aaaaaand today I have to explain this shit!

Now, how the f*ck I will manage this, I have no darn clue but I am starting to learn how my dev fiancee feels when he has to explain some complicated stuff to his clients, I swear!

How I knew I was going to like this app...

I happen to be the only girl in my small dev team of 4 males plus me.
I'm freaking tired of hearing 'hey guys','how are you doing guys', 'what's the update guys' in every meeting/call when one of them is addressing the rest of us.
Yeah i know I/they can't do anything about it. I somehow grew numb to hearing it, but sometimes hearing it one thousand time in a single call is driving me crazy.
I once mentioned it to an a senior dev who happens to be the one using the g word the most during meeting.
Me: could you please stop saying guys all the time, I'm not a guy.
Him: what do you want me to say, 'hey guys and a girl?!'
Me: ... -_- (internally: seriously!!)

Uugh.

My manager is a "you don't know shit" kinda dude.
This one time while guiding us on how to operate on databases which existed and somehow, he deleted the whole database.

Ofcourse, to save his ass at once he claimed "This is why I was telling you all this, see!? The whole database got deleted"

And yes, we had a backup of that database. And yes we weren't able to control our laughter too.
You should have seen his face.

Rant!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuccccccckk this new dev hired is such a dick he keeps on not testing his own code for simple things and expects everyone else to test it on local and tell him his bugs.

Just typed /dev/rant instead of /dev/random on the terminal :/ I think I associated random with rand and then rant, oh my god, I need to sleep

Dev rant thanks a ton! Shipped all the way to India from NY!

The only rant I'll ever hate in dev-rant is this...

we need a private message functionality on dev rant OoO/

!(Rant|Dev)

Side of programming am superbiker

!rant
This is a nice community and this app is a great too. No ads or promotions are also there. So how does app manage financially ,i know there is a swag store but is that enough .As community gets larger, more resources are needed to keep everyone happy ryt ? more servers etc..
Will there be a different model when this expands ?

!dev

Hello! New to Dev Rant

Alright, I've had it. I was scrolling through Walmart when I saw a kititchen utensil holder with a BLUETOOTH SPEAKER? Who needs this? It probably doesn't even sound that good. I am getting tired of people slapping a Bluetooth speaker in random objects. Someone gave me a Bluetooth flower pot for Christmas. Why do you need a bunch of low quality speakers in random objects? I don't get it.

!rant
It's my 21st birthday today 😀
Not dev or rant. Sorry.

Since this isn't dev, I'll have to make it a rant:

I can have hobbies other than devving, goddamn it! Leave me alone!

That moment when you struggle and write an amazing backend logic and your manager only looks at the frontend/UI and tells you it is okay. The struggle doubles when you try and explain him the backend logic and he just ignores you...what a day!!(No offense to amazing frontend developers out there)

First week of my first dev job.
Everything is awesome. No rants.

WHAT ARE THOSE?!?!???

Now this is something I relate to...

P.S. I always solve the bug that i create

Stackoverflow is the worst and best at the same time. So many pricks on that website yet it comes handy almost always

Applied to a Jr. Dev job and was hired as a Digital Marketer — I can deal with this, I’m AdWords & Analytics certified. What I can’t abide is that I spent the last year working my ass off learning to code and the person next to me with the Jr. Dev position only uses DIVI and has zero inclination to study, learn or write basic HTML & CSS—much less PHP. I’m not an expert by any means but I love programming, I love the problem solving, the challenges and the culture of it all. So far, and these are only two examples, I’ve shown him how to use the target attribute to open a page as a new tab, and how to register a nav in the functions.php file to create a menu but he is unwilling to even attempt it. Rather, he told me that I was too technical and that no one would be using code in this day and age.

For the record, I think DIVI is a cool platform, it’s clear that my boss knows nothing about code to be fair and I love my job— this is my only issue so far😂 I just needed to rant.

What is wrong with people. I put in hours of my time every day and it hurts to see some annonymous person complaining shit about something that doesn't even exist.
😤😤

!(dev|rant)

Boarding complete. 10pm: the only time to fly.

I have a colleague, let's call him Zigo.

Each time we have a technical discussion inside the team Zigo wants to always impose his opinion. Even if it's the dumbest thing ever.

Zigo thinks he's always right.

Zigo never accepts other's arguments.

Zigo thinks he's smarter than everyone...

Hey Zigo... f**k off and learn to respect your teammates.

I'm sure all of you have (or had) a Zigo in your team.

PS : I've known people that were like Zigo, but they have the technical background & knowledge that "allows" them to be like that. The only problem is that our Zigo doesn't have all these qualities...

PPS : sorry for my English - it is not my strong suit.

Just made some stickers(can't wait for dev rant stickers😀)

Your identity is the most valuable thing you have.

Losing it for whatever reason, for example to be like your partner or your parents want you to be is probably the most wrong thing to do.

Can I just say, this community is awesome. All Dev talk, all the time. It's like Facebook but not complete s***!

PS: UK Dev rant meet up has to go down. We can't have the yanks outdoing us.

I kinda like ++ in dev rant ...

Being jr dev sucks. No one takes you seriously. Don't know why 😂

Yay! Finally got my first job in IT.

They call it just "IT admin/sysadmin", but it's... eh..
What I do is make sure the servers work (sysadmin part) and make desktop/mobile apps. So far, the company seems to be quite nice, there are already 4 devs who are friendly. *knocks on wood*

Will see how it goes, and I'd like to thank you for sharing your stories. Learned quite a lot from them!

daily !rant:

Which is the most favourite band of Android devs?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Gradle of Filth

Him: Why choose 200 over 500, minimalist?
Me: Why choose an internal server error over a successful request? Less is more.

rant!

Why are the dev rant T-shirts sold out? Please make them come back.

!rant, just stickers from my mailbox

Sometimes you need someone to be your /dev/null with whom you can talk about all that fucked up shit going on in your mind.

Thank you /dev/null

my new companions 😋😋😋

Subaru's Symmetrical AWD is the best thing in the world at the moment. Also, warning: !dev

Tl;dr: I'm getting another RPi3 thanks to awesome engineering.

Got a couple of inches of light snow here, and on my way home I came across a GMC Sierra dually stuck at the bottom of a moderately sized ditch. Naturally, I stopped by in my Forester and offered to tow it out.

With my 20ft tow rope stretched to its full length I was barely touching the road. He signalled that he was ready, and I gunned it. Slowly but surely the truck crawled out of the 6ft deep trench. She crested the hill with much applause (from me and the driver of the truck). As a thanks, he gave me $30.

Looks like I'm gonna get a new Raspberry Pi to play with. I think I'll turn this one into a countertop MAME arcade machine.

And for those of you wondering why I'm praising Symmetrical AWD as opposed to AWD in general, here's a quick lesson in drivetrains:
Most all wheel drive cars power the front wheels most of the time. This saves on fuel economy. The thing is, power is only transmitted to the rear wheels when the front wheels start to lose traction. At that point you're already screwed; only two wheels at any one time are putting useful power to the road.
Symmetrical AWD systems, like you'll find in all Subarus and most performance cars, distribute the vehicle's torque eaqually front-rear at all times. So instead of waiting until the front wheels start slipping, all of the wheels are powered right off the bat.

To make this more devvy: grrrr php, vim is best, I configured the tab key to enter four spaces, js has too many damn frameworks and they're still being pumped out faster than rabbits in a bunny farm.

Hate the new shift to flat icons by Google on Android 😠

!rant
Who in their right mind puts an id on the head tag.

Css? Don't need it.
JavaScript ? Can directly access it anyway

It fucking breaks old browsers your not even giving them a chance to look at least average !

This is for a huge site as well that he got to work on because he is related to the owner .. he's an arrogant prick as well ... Don't know shit bout programming anything

pushing code at 3 AM, so that my manager knows am working late and hard.

Pride of place

They've finally arrived 😢😄😄 #Awesumeee

Venting frustration through comments is my religion.

I quit smoking yesterday.

By a coincidence I had a pack of cigarettes named “Kresty” – the brand from russian prison.
Just gave it to Stephen Paul Taylor. There’s no reason to smoke again, just don’t want to loose this kind of story.

Why the fuck people are so happy during festive season? Don't they have like work to do? Or a book to read?

!dev

Just wanna share yesterday nights story because I really really enjoyed it..

Have been to Galway with a friend.
Went to the pubs and 2 Irish girls tried to speak French - just for fun. A French guy wanted to flirt with them and said: “you British girls are so cute when you try to talk French.”
The girl completely freaked out and screamed at him: “ DONT YOU FUCKING DARE TO CALL AS BRITISH..” and the second girl started singing in the middle of all the people: “Come out ya Black and Tans, come out and fight us like a man”..

Ended with those girls trying to stop other Irish guys from beating up that French guy.

Few pubs later at 2:30am walking to the car (driver didn’t drink) when the “irish Jesus” (YouTuber) walks by and asks us if we have “something”, he really needs to get stoned 😂

Best night ever..

No offense to the British here, I assume you’re familiar with your shared history;)

Finally some nice stickers. Like everyone else, thank's for the ++

Studying on computer science has its cons mainly when every other student thinks we can hack Facebook and wifi. Computer science==hacking.

Didn't get dev rant stickers so i ordered myself some.

!rant !dev Facereveal inside. ;)
Elbriot Hamburg was awesome! Filled up my endorphin level to the max.
Amazing lineup! Jasta, Arch Enemy, Suicidal Tendencies and more. Moshpit destroyed me! Haha!

One does not simply git add --all

things I do when pissed with program (mine or others)
duckduckgo
devrant
csgo
What about you?

Think I like Dev rant so far

Haven't ranted in a while so here it goes.

Head of product took me (senior dev) to a high value client workshop/demo session and over the course of two days found the reason behind why the dev team has been pushed to the limit as of late and sales/product team has been making promises to clients without checking with dev leaders on reasonable delivery dates on massive new features.

I tried my best to manage expectations by differing talking about delivery dates by saying "lets discuss that with the team" rather than giving out dates right now. But as soon as the meeting ends he sends an email to the client confirming delivery dates on features that we have done no research on or even specialize in!

Please tell me this is not how well established businesses work or is that the new reality of things. In either case I wanna find a new job :/

!rant

Coworker: I've been working on this computer for an entire day now and it's still having issues

Boss: Well, we can give the client an option to get another SSD and clone to it before reinstalling the OS.

Coworker: But he doens't have an SSD...

Boss: Yes he does

Coworker: *opens computer* let's see, two 1TB hard drives... but no SSD... Oh, there it is. It's hidden. But it's booting too slow to be....

*epiphany*

Coworker: Oh my god. I've been telling the computer to boot to the wrong hard drive. That explains everything!

I gonna puke if I see more whining on android studio from a guy having 8GB of ram and running IDE emulator and a browser. To remind everyone, decent android phones have 4GB of ram or more. They have memory cards with io speeds comparable to SSD. They have 10 core CPUs. And still, people want to develop on potatoes.

At last got stickers 😍
Thanks devrant

Dev, eat, rant, repeat

Thanks dev rant

Hello dev-rant 🙋

Lead Dev sends rant about the app being a week late...

Doesn't take into account that I was pulled off it for two weeks to work on something else and the other dev was on maternity for two weeks :/

In which language is devRant written?

It's the little things in life that bring happiness.
Finally my Hacktoberfest'18 t-shirt is here!

When you are testing your limits and you experience a "Warning: Unknown: 1 result set(s) not freed. Use mysql_free_result to free result sets which were requested using mysql_query() in Unknown on line 0"........LINE 0???????? WTF php? how the fuck do I fix a god damn line 0?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Not really a rant (?)

I started my first programming job in January this year. I went there staight after Highschool, so i had no real experience, knew only the basics of software development and my written code was quite a mess. So one of my first real tasks (after 2 months) was to write a business logic for batch handling (for a warehouse management system). I invested quite some time to develop a suitable architecture, talked with some other developers and wanted to cover the whole thing with unit tests (which really nobody at the company uses). So I spent about 3 weeks to write the whole thing, test it and improve it many times. It worked perfectly and I got pretty good feedback from the code-review.

1 month ago - the code worked perfectly and was multiple times testet (also by the client) - the client came with some totally new requirements for the batch handling. I tried to impelemt them, but soon found out, that the architecture doesn't supported them, it was not build for the required handling and would soon become a totally mess, if i tried to make it work.

So I was pretty mad, because I had to change the whole fucking thing, but I also wanted to make it better. I hab gained some experience and decided (with some help of a senior dev) to make a completely new try with a different architecture, that can be easily expanded, if needed. I build my concept, wrote and tested the whole new code in 3 days. Fucking 3 days compared to the initial 3 weeks, and it worked, better and even faster.

I was quite pissed to delete the old code, and especially that i had wasted 3 weeks for it and had to struggle with many different things. But I lerarned so much from it and also in the months between, that I was also really glad that I had the opportiunity to write it again.

This whole thing made me now realize that this is, what I really like to do and what I'm good in. I really enjoy learning new things and for me, programming is the best and easiest way to do it. Despite alle the cons and annoying side effects of it, I really found my dream job here.

I run update without where on mysql console on production database Today.

CLASSIC

Just because I needed to fix database after bug fix on the backend of the application.
I thought I wrote good sql statement after executing it on my local machine and then everything got bad.

Luckily it was only one column with some cached statistics data and I checked that it was not important data before I actually started fixing stuff but still ...
Almost got hard attack afterwards.
Made a script to fix this column and it took me only 15 minutes but still...

Bug was caused in part I got no unit tests and application grow after 3 years of development from simple one for one customer and volumes of documents around 50k to over 40 customers and volumes over 2mil per month, don’t know how many pages each, just in one year after we completed all needed features.

I have daily backups and logs of every api operation but still.
I think this got to far for one backend developer.

I got scared that I will loose money cause I am contractor and the only backend developer working on it.
I am so tired of this right now I think I need a break from work.

Responsibility is killing me so hard right now.
It will take a week to get back to normal.

when you read an awesome @practiseSafeHex rant and share it on Slack

OMFG WHAT-THE-ACTUAL-F

this is soooo fucking broken, my eyes now have many relations to periods

shit... @DevRant fix dat...

Not happy.

Yeah not dev.
Not rant.
Fuck off.

Wish installing a Vim plugin were as simple as installing an Npm package. Yet another time when I try to learn Vim. :|

When you constantly check devRant looking for this:

So you're using devrant from browser. Hmm. You're a man of principles. Understandable. Have a nice day.

How you guys manage to sleep at night, I can't do it till 3-4 AM.

If I try to do I'll have headache.

how about a dev rant meet up?
let's do this

THANK YOU !!!! Much love from France for 2017

rant > /dev/null

Just throw my entire rant into the void

Frustration at its peak !!

So the CTO of the company I recently joined, whom I considered to be cool personality of all the open culture in the office and open communication, seems to be all wrong.

Few days back he suddenly dropped a mail to all the tech team members mentioning that we need more streamlined process in the company and many more blah blah stuffs... to which all of us agreed.

But. But. But. The last line(small font size) mentioning that from now onwards we need to come on Saturdays too until further notice. I mean WTF !!? Seriously.

But today in stand-up when one of the guy asked the agenda, he just tossed the question saying that we need to be more active attending "client tickets". Goddammit. We are devs, not tech support.
To this one of the other dev, said the exact same thing that was going in everyone's mind. Call the team that are required on Saturdays. To which his reply was, " Come on Saturday, we will speak then".

I was like 👏👏👏

P.S. Not that we are not ready to come on Saturdays, but at least take consent of all the members in the team, if you all babble so much about open culture and shit. We have friends and family too to have fun with, and need to take little rest on weekends.
And most importantly, tell us some firm reasons to be there on weekends, not just "You have to come, because we said so!"
Period.

!dev
!rant

YAY!

brb..... *cough*

!rant !dev

I was just on my way to work back from the University cafeteria when a guy in a black car - who I thought was moving the car out of a parking lot - stopped the car and asked if I had a second.
Naive me, thinking he might need directions or something decided to listen to him.
He looked older, around 60ish, with sunglasses on ( making it harder for me to read him).
He said that he had a stroke (or something) a few years ago and got damage to his brain, so that sometimes it can happen that he would faint. Therefore, he cannot go swimming unsupervised, and was asking if I would have the time to accompany him to the university lake, so that he could swim for an hour or so. He offered to pay me 40 bucks.
Me, being paranoid af, declined politely, saying I have to go to work ( which was actually true).
He goes on to say how he was a teacher, how he worked at the university before, how I look trustworthy, how I am the first person he asks today, and asked if he could have my number, so that he could call me sometime to supervise the swimming. I would just need to look out for him not to drown and if anything looks weird I should alarm the people working at the lake ( lookouts? not sure what they are called).
I kept declining politely and he backed off, letting me go without any fuzz.
Previously he also mentioned how some students are rich, others are poor, and how he would have done anything for 20 bucks back in the day. But also said that he accepts a no and won't bother me further.

He also mentioned he wouldn't lay a hand on me, that he is not a creep, since I could see his car and license plate, and if I gave him my number, I would also have his. That I shouldn't worry about anything, if I later decided to say no he would delete my number, and that he is not big on the technology and Internet so nothing would happen.

Uhh... well if he was genuine I'm sorry for him, but then you can just ask authorities at the beach to pay more attention to you, no?
Mentioning "all my worries" raised a red flag for me sort of.
Also, if you keep on fainting occasionally, even if you haven't fainted in 2 years, how are you allowed to drive? Or actually, why do you even drive then?
I don't know. The more I think about it, the more I think I should have taken a picture of the car or license plate.
And there are literal services for this kind of thing. Pretty sure you can get one of these if you are willing to pay even.
Jeez now I'm worried for the entire population of my university...

Bed-Time

Reading : bed time stories.
I.e.Stories on dev rant

When you hit "Run" and realize you wanna make one more change but Gradle ain't in the mood to stop...

I am a dev, this is a rant

Thanks devRant !

Meeting at 'Derp & Co', the topic was what data model should send the back-end to frontend & app via API calls:

- Coworker: 'we should send the data structured like this for reasons'.
- Me: 'Yeah, this nested object.object.object should do the trick for the front end, but this will be a pain in the ass to convert to POJOs. Why not use something like idk better structure?'

<Mad/intrigued faces>

- CoworkerS: 'Why you need to use POJOs?'
- Me: <More Mad> 'cause I work with java in android... and we have/need/like objects?

<Captain Obvious left the room>

- CoworkerS: 'Oh yeah, well... we can do it the way you say'.

Why you need Objects... what is the next?
- Git? For what? Did not have the usb key from day one?

Anyone else feel guilty not coding for a few hours? Just me? Oh okay 😔

Thanks dev rant, let's see my stress ball soon

@dfox I wish dfox gifts me a stress ball. Feeling stressed.

Laptop getting outdated and beginning to malfunction and no money for new laptop..
fuck all freelancing now...

Upvoting everything in the bad Dev habit group rant

Writing one dev-rant a day keeps dev-frustrations away!

I love Android development, but I HATE make individual strings for each word in my apps. It's so tedious! There's gotta be a better way than telling myself, "Oh crap you better be a good boy and use Google's 'best practices' and not hardcode all your strings. Who knows you might make this app translatable in Portuguese someday and it'll be easy then!". I HATE it!!

Fuck start ups with large projects with no continous integration setup on git... and very many junior devs including the CTO(Not even a googling guru).... for fucks sake we cant deliver spaghettis as iF we are coding a restauRANT... fuck this shit load of a project....

!rant

Ok guys, I feel like seeing a genuine civil chat here so here we go!

What is everyone's opinion on the way the gaming industry is going, I mean with everything going for the 4K and all the shit that goes on between Console and PC gaming (I'm a console gamer).

And, if you are a game developer, how has this push for 4K and everything must be 3D and photo realistic effected your work?

Quick poll: Where did you hear about dev rant?

It’s amazing when people come in for an interview and say, ‘Can you tell me about your business?’ Seriously, people. There’s an Internet. Look it up.

New in my job
Start to work on a abandoned project for one of our client not very happy cause the lack of update
Go for a critical issue which exists since 2 months where everyone was telling me that they passed a huge time working on it with no answer
*check error*
*check code*
The code is so fucking much not DRY so I was able to see the same 4-5 incriminated lines elsewhere
*see that the request is lacking of one parameters just has the error suggests*
*copy paste the missing line*
*it works*

I’m now a hero for them but they become fucking peasants for me

(In addition, when code reviewing, some one had the nerve to tell me that “haha it was nothing much finally, it was easy”
To him : fuck you, eat my 💩)

"577 new rants since your last visit"

Its almost like devRant is guilt trapping you.

!Dev

Negative thoughts just won't get out of my head. It's so annoying because it happens 99% at night. I love my girlfriend and yet my brain wants to turn a simple comment "I love you more and more when I kiss you" into something negative simply because I don't 'feel' anything other than I got a nice kiss at the time. It causes overthinking and I always come to the same conclusion. "I love her very much, my brain is just being self destructive right now".

This is just one silly example but it extends into all aspects of my life (and definitely into my work). How can one stop instrusive negative thoughts and just be happy with what they have 😭

It's 12:30 am, this dude wants to implement the Google Assistant "book me a haircut" feature, in his assistant bot, to book pizzas at a cafe near college (real small place).
All for a small semester project
He's asking me how. He says he knows Java concepts for this, but doesn't know where to start.
At what point do I say I need to sleep

Dear devs, making your software "work" is the least thing you do as a dev. Write tests, write readable, maintainable, extensible code, and ensure that your code runs sufficiently fast and efficiently. Also consider using the right tech for your use case and nature the of the software. It's your job to ensure that your software runs efficiently and effectively, and stop saying "it works" and end there. God forbid you use bubblesort and say it works or do some dumb **** like that.

Devs,

help me here:

1) Debian 1
2) Reinstall Ubuntu 1
3) Fedora
4) Open Suse

which?

8 hours straight for school project! I wanted to wrap things up... Deadline was approaching...my teammates no where to found..(fuck them btw)..but hey I learned a lot!😊😎

THROWBACK....

ASL????

23
M
Nepal

Thanks! It arrived sooner than I thought! Thank you! Love the stickers!!
❤️❤️❤️

Thanks dev rant 🙌🏽 @dfox @trogus

So I didn't boot up my Windows 10 from more that a month now (dual boot).
I wonder how many eternities it will take to update when I shut it down to switch back to Linux. :/
#scary

!dev

My Gorillaz preorder and backdrop poster sat has arrived! I’m so happy! Loving the new album.

2019 goals...

Launch my app in Play store
Build more projects
Make work fun for client
Earn more
Learn learn and learn....

People seem to only want rants in here. I, in contrary, would rather like it to become Twitter for devs. You?

just to know anyone from bangalore India in dev rant?

Something on product hunt wants to compete with dev rant. I Say FUCK EM! Dev rant 4ever 😍

You know something's truly off when you're being challenged for all the wrong reasons. When all it seems you ever do is apply a band-aid every time instead of making the time to fix it properly and for good. Or when the people who should be making your work easier to do instead suggest new tools and features to integrate into your workflow or project because they plug the holes in their management process and can ignore the leaks for the time being.

I need to push myself out of this place and ramp up my skills and update my personal projects so I can prove myself capable and move on to a better employer. Because I'm starting to hate the stopgap short-term approach that keeps getting shoehorned into our work, and only proceeds to make us look bad even if it's the whims of our bosses causing it in the first place.

Thanks for reading.

"Programmers Know Everything"

Im writing this as myself cause, well this tends to happen to me alot!

When ever a friend or a friend of a friend has an issue with a website or just their computer they run to me, which is all fine but if I say "I dunno? I never heard of this issue so I do not know how to fix the problem."
Their response is normal "But dont you do websites? Surely you know how to fix a virus or bluescreens ?? "

!dev !rant

Helicopter! :3 🚁🚁🚁

If pixels were triangles, instead of squares, would this be considered pixel art? 🤔 actually no, dumb question xD sorry.

(Btw, the game where I created this is called Monogolf. It's a mobile game, it's cool, so check it out if you want! [not sponsored]) 💙

!rant
Thanks for keeping dev-rant lite...
@dfox

I have no idea what i am doing.. 🙄