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Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁54
This story is 100% true.
I got hired onto a team of construction workers to build a house. We set up a meeting with Management to find out what kind of house they wanted us to build, where’s the floor plan, what it’s going to be used for, who it’s for, etc. Management said that they didn’t know all that, we should just get started. They told us that we were going to use “Agile” which means that we just work on small deliverables and build the thing incrementally.
The developer team lead argued that we at least need to know how big the thing is going to be so that we can get started pouring the foundation, but Management told him they just don’t know. “What we do know,” Management said, “is that the house is going to have a bathroom. Just start there, and we’ll know more when it’s done. You have two weeks.”
So we just bought a port-a-potty, and screwed around on the internet for two weeks. Management was outraged. “You call this a house? This is the worst house ever! It doesn’t even have a tv!”
So we bought a tv and put it in the port-a-potty, attached to an outdoor generator. We were going to buy a a dvd player and get it hooked up to cable, but Management rejected the expense request, saying that they didn’t know if we needed it, and we’d come back to that later.
Management decided that we definitely need storage space, so we bought a boxcar and duct-taped the port-a-potty to it. Then to our horror they set up some desks and put a few miserable business interns in there. It went on like this…
After a few years the boxcar grew into a huge, ramshackle complex. It floods, leaks, it’s frozen in the winter and an oven in the summer. You have to get around in a strange maze of cardboard tubes, ladders and slides. There are two equally horrible separate buildings. We’re still using just the one outdoor generator for all power, so electricity is tightly rationed.
Communication between the buildings was a problem. For one of them, we use a complex series of flag signals. For the other we write notes on paper, crumple the paper up, and toss it over. Both of these methods were suggested as jokes, but Management really liked them for some reason. The buildings mostly talk to each other but they have to talk through us, so most of what we do is pass messages on.
It was suggested that we use paper airplanes instead of crumpled up balls, but the fat, awkward fingers of the Business Majors who inevitably take those jobs couldn’t be trained to make them. I built an awesome automatic paper airplane folder, but once again they couldn’t be trained to use it, so they just went back to crumpling the notes up in balls.
The worst part of all this is that it’s working. Everyone is miserable, but the business is making money. The bright side is that this nightmare complex is done so now we know what kind of building they actually needed in the first place, so we can start work on it. Obviously we can’t tell Management anything about what we’re doing until it’s finished. They noticed the gigantic hole in the ground where the foundation is coming in, but we told them that it’s a cache reset, and they mostly ignore it except when the occasional customer falls in.
I’ll probably be out of here before the new building gets finished. I could get a 50% raise by switching jobs, but Management still doesn’t think I should get a raise because I missed a couple sprints.7
Six months ago my girlfriend broke up with me...
BUT since then I've...
•Found the wonderful world of devRant
•Gotten back into electronics
•Taught myself PCB design
•Gotten back into programming
•Made a discord bot
•Started teaching myself calculus
•Began building an ai for said discord bot
•Designed a wireless mesh networking NIC for the TI84+CE
Sure I feel like shit most of the time but before I did anyway but I've been super productive and it feels kind of nice47
A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .
In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.
A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.
A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”
When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.
IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…”
The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.
The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.
The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.
I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them
The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.
I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...
The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.
I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.
A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!
DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them
The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.
The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh
I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…11
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire, thus reducing it to a problem I’ve solved before.”2
That "WOW" feeling when your rant crosses 1k mark and is one of the top 10 rants ever... #awesome #lifegoals
Link to shower more ++s: https://devrant.io/rants/163332/...4
Presenting my paper on PHP Security in IEEE conference today... Wish me luck. I hope it gets published 😃🤞4
This facts are killing me
"During his own Google interview, Jeff Dean was asked the implications if P=NP were true. He said, "P = 0 or N = 1." Then, before the interviewer had even finished laughing, Jeff examined Google’s public certificate and wrote the private key on the whiteboard."
"Compilers don't warn Jeff Dean. Jeff Dean warns compilers."
"gcc -O4 emails your code to Jeff Dean for a rewrite."
"When Jeff Dean sends an ethernet frame there are no collisions because the competing frames retreat back up into the buffer memory on their source nic."
"When Jeff Dean has an ergonomic evaluation, it is for the protection of his keyboard."
"When Jeff Dean designs software, he first codes the binary and then writes the source as documentation."
"When Jeff has trouble sleeping, he Mapreduces sheep."
"When Jeff Dean listens to mp3s, he just cats them to /dev/dsp and does the decoding in his head."
"Google search went down for a few hours in 2002, and Jeff Dean started handling queries by hand. Search Quality doubled."
"One day Jeff Dean grabbed his Etch-a-Sketch instead of his laptop on his way out the door. On his way back home to get his real laptop, he programmed the Etch-a-Sketch to play Tetris."
"Jeff Dean once shifted a bit so hard, it ended up on another computer. "6
Saw my uncle using Microsoft Edge today.
Me: Uncle, you should use Chrome or Firefox. They are better.
Uncle: Windows 10 showed a pop up few days back that chrome drains battery faster. So I uninstalled chrome.
Me: But Windows is fooling you to use its product. Edge is horrible and useless.
Uncle: So you think you are smarter than Windows people? Are they idiots who designed this whole software?
Microsoft u got 1 more Edge user. Enjoy, you lying and misleading company.28
Recruiters and HR plz note there is difference between Web Developer and Web Designer... I repeat there is difference between Developer and Designer.10
This is going to be a long rant, coz this is the only way to vent out my frustration against our tech head.
Yesterday, while our fucking twat tech head was playing around in company aws account, he terminated the production server. By mistake, apparently. Coz he doesn't know shit about server management. But that egoist ass won't admit and fucked the production server.
And then ran away. We developers sprang into action. Updated dns to point to staging server, setup virtual hosts, env files, point to prod database, force flush dns cache. All systems were up and running in 30 mins. And since it was staging server, it had lot of untested features and codes, and we spent rest of the day fixing the bugs.
And that tech head, who ran away hiding his tail between his legs, after he fucked the server, came back after systems were up. And started cracking jokes, that "so many features got released in 1 day" . "We cut server cost by shutting down 1 server."
We were struggling and working in full throttle to make the services running again. And that fuckity fucker was cracking jokes.
And I don't even know what excuse he gave to ceo for the downtime. I am pretty sure he would have made up some crappy excuse to hide his fucking mistake. That ass never admits his mistake. I am thinking to go to ceo today and tell the real story and get that faggot head fired or at least a strict warning.4
Explaining my mom about my job as backend developer... She couldn't understand what is there behind the website. She was like "u designed the website. It's done. What u do full day?"
Finally I gave an example of restaurant... I am the cook(backend developer). Front-end is waiter. Finally she understood....6
There is power cut in my college area sometimes...
Once we were in computer lab, when power cut occurred. So fan, tubelights went off.
I heard one girl ask her friend "how are laptops on?"
That moment.... Only I know how I controlled my laugh....1
MySQL should have a recycle bin. I just deleted whole "user" table by mistake... Forgot to add where clause properly... Had to restore 2 days old backup copy. I just hope no accounts were created or someone changed their password in last 2 days....8
I forgot to git fetch, so I spent quite a while doing exactly WHAT MY TEAMMATE HAD DONE JUST HOURS AGO3
Just found an admin portal online. There was a modal asking for password, but in background the portal was visible. ctrl + shift + i and then closed the modal.
Voila, the whole portal and actions are accessible. Seriously, who develops things like these?
I am pretty sure it's vulnerable to sqli and xss too.8
Had last paper today... Finally 4 yrs of engineering comes to an end. I am a proud computer engineer....17
Got rejected in interview for Web developer... Interviewer showed company website and asked if it's made in html or WordPress... I said html which was wrong...
Am I incompetent? How can I predict the platform just by looking at UI...?30
I can’t even say what’s wrong with PHP, because— okay. Imagine you have uh, a toolbox. A set of tools. Looks okay, standard stuff in there.
You pull out a screwdriver, and you see it’s one of those weird tri-headed things. Okay, well, that’s not very useful to you, but you guess it comes in handy sometimes.
You pull out the hammer, but to your dismay, it has the claw part on both sides. Still serviceable though, I mean, you can hit nails with the middle of the head holding it sideways.
You pull out the pliers, but they don’t have those serrated surfaces; it’s flat and smooth. That’s less useful, but it still turns bolts well enough, so whatever.
And on you go. Everything in the box is kind of weird and quirky, but maybe not enough to make it completely worthless. And there’s no clear problem with the set as a whole; it still has all the tools.
Now imagine you meet millions of carpenters using this toolbox who tell you “well hey what’s the problem with these tools? They’re all I’ve ever used and they work fine!” And the carpenters show you the houses they’ve built, where every room is a pentagon and the roof is upside-down. And you knock on the front door and it just collapses inwards and they all yell at you for breaking their door.
That’s what’s wrong with PHP.8
"Systems open to all, but closed to intruders"
HEY, HP, PACK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY OF TRASH SOFTWARE INTO YOUR TRAILER HOME AND DRIVE IT OFF A CLIFF. WHAT THE __FUCK__ DOES THAT EVEN MEAN YOU LITERAL BLOAT FLIES. HOW ABOUT WE START WITH THE FACT THAT ALL IT TAKES IS ONE DUMB MOTHER FUCKER ANYWHERE IN A COMPANY GIVING AWAY ONE LOGIN IN A SOCIAL ENGINEERING ATTACK TO POP THIS NICE FART FILLED BALLOON YOUR DRUNK SALES AND MARKETING MORON PARADE CAME UP WITH.
STOP FUCKING ADVERTISING ON MR. ROBOT AND LET ME PRETEND IT'S NOT A PRODUCT FOR JUST ONE MOMENT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU4
This is a follow-up of my last rant: https://devrant.com/rants/1323422/...
TLDR; My step-son tripped over my HDD power cord, sending it plummeting towards certain death.
So this is just over a year ago. At this point, my GF and I are married, and she's about 7 months pregnant with our daughter. Her son, Nicolas - the one from the last rant - is 13 years old.
So it was a Saturday, and I had Nicolas helping me to clean up the apartment. My wife was off the hook, because, ya know - she's pregnant.
While I was cleaning the living room, I had Nic cleaning the kitchen/dining room area. At this same time, I had my laptop and a 3Tb external USB hard drive on the dining room table, copying a bunch of data or something. This external HDD also had it's own power cord, which was plugged in next to the table.
Next thing I know, I hear an "Ohp!" followed by a crash. It was the horrifying sound of my hard drive plunging 36 inches off the table towards certain death. And death, it had.
Before even checking, I knew this HDD was dead. It took a lot for me not to snap at the kid. I told him to get out of the kitchen and go clean his room. That hard drive... hadn't been backed up. At all, which is on me. Even more so, since that data was really irreplaceable.
Even knowing that the HDD HAD to be dead, I still plugged it in, hoping for a miracle. I got nothing, it wouldn't even spin up.
$ dmesg -w
Showed that linux saw the USB controller and even the HDD controller (it printed out the manufacturer, SeaGate). The data was valuable enough that I was saving up some money to have the data recovered, which would be about $2,000.
However, before I had saved up enough money... My apartment was broken into and all my external HDD's (and some internal ones I had laying around) were stolen.6
Too many night shifts.
But it's done.
After the last migrations my emotional state is... Questionable.
VM migrations between different CPU vendors and generations leading to segfaults because of unsupported X86 extensions.... Thx for doing that at 23 o'clock after 8 hours of work....
Forgetting a left over NIC in a virtual machine, creating a routing loop, leading to very erratic behaviour and fun things.
Someone forgot to check the '"Unique" box, mass spawning a cluster of VMs with same MAC adresses....
DNS fuckery since someone thought that reboot would flush the cache of an DNS server.... Nope most DNS servers have persistent caches. You'll have to flush manually.
And let's not forget the joy of the 12 plus pages of when and where to move VMs, harddrives and VLAN configuration.
Oh migrations are such a festival of joy.
Finally done with that shit -.-5
My boss has gone for a long vacation from last week and will be back in Feb. And office feels soooo awesome and fun. No office politics, no senseless meetings. Just pure work in peace.
I wish he doesn't come back only....3
Is "++i" more efficient or "i++" ?
P.S. I already wasted more cpu cycles by posting this, than I would ever waste by using either of them....8
That moment when you make heads turn, coz you are using laptop with loads of devRant sticker on it in metro.....
Fucking shit, this university's website is so damn slow! Basically Every Semester, every student need to enroll to certain classes in University Website.
But the Infrastructure is not enough to handle such a big amount of students, we have approx. 7000 students enrolling at the same fucking time.
And here i am can't enroll to any class at all this semester. Fuck such a waste of time. This always been a thing since they digitalize enrolling system.
I don't want this to happen again. The student always be a victim since they cannot handle the request. Now, as a dev, i want to propose something better to optimize the server, i have some connection to pass some bureaucracy. I am going to do some brainstorming and I will need some solution.
Here some data i gather when i am mad from my univ infrastructure division :
1. The Server is a simple Local Server Forwarded to the Internet.
2. The Server use Windows Server 2007.
4. Web Server Using Microsoft IIS
3. The Website built using ASP.NET
4. The connection is not SSL encrypted (yes its fucking use the http)
5. Hardware Spec (not confirmed officialy, i got this information from my professor) :
- Core i5 4460
- 4 GB Ram
- 1 Gbit NIC
I will summon some expert here and i hope want to help me(us all) out.23
Boss: some consultants worked on this feature extending some legacy code
Boss: it's 90% done
Boss: they used FTP. It uses iframes and we fired them when they couldn't get the frontend modules working in sync with the backend.
Me: git checkout -b herewegoagain
git diff-tree --no-commit-id --name-only -r 666w3wl4d
*copy output list of files to sublime text 3; select all lines; add to each:
gitk --follow [filename] > src/.notes/herewegoagain/[filename].diff
Me: It's -10% done. you'll know I'm almost done when I enter the fugue state. You'll find me at this address. Give me this USB stick and a 4 pack of redbull and I'll do the merge.6
Being a programmer is like being Nic Cage characters.
Some days you're kicking a bear in the gut, others you wanna rip your own face off1
Is there a specific reason your company is called 'Hexical Labs'? If so, could you share the story of where it comes from?2
Working on Sunday because deadline is next week.
P.S. We got project yesterday.... Wish me luck.....2
NewLifeNewHope update No.2 / Day 5
My Server Is finally opened and i installed 2x8 TB WDC Harddrives and SATA 128 SSD. I know this server is freaking garbage, but i got this PC for free, and have somewhat good-ish upgrade path, so heres the spec :
-Gigabyte H110m-S2 LGA1151
-8GB DDR4 single channel RAM
-128 GB SSD
-TP-Link 1000mbps NIC
so the plan is to make this server as the Main Repository -- yes no offsite backup plan for now -- and also i want to make this server as an Email Server and for hosting my company's website. I've already asked for static IP from my ISP and will take effect tommorow.
I need help for choosing the Operating System (i like centOS) for my server. and to setting this Server to work like what i planned but i don't know where to start, Any help and/or References will be great !14
today I spent an hour and a half (30 mins past my paid hours) explaining go my boss that I'm not just being rebellious; that the time I'm taking to do the job right is appropriate and the only way to end up with a piece of software that they'll be able to request features for without adding on to the absolute shit pile frankenkrakken that is their mutated 13 year old OSCOMMERCE dumpsterfire.
I convinced him.
The program 'x' is currently not installed. You can install it by typing: sudo apt install x.
Wow, thanks! I didn't know! I've always wanted to know how to install programs with apt.10
My first Project is finally ready to be deployed on prod server.... Nervous.... How u guys cope with this stress?10
I really feel like coding right now, but I don't have time. Problem is: when I do have time and I have to code I probably don't want to anymore.
Not a rant, but I think it's really cool, so I just wanted to share this with you guys. I recently went to a small symposium by an alumnus of my university. He uses the program Mandelbulb3d to explore the wondrous world of fractals. He's recently started to apply Neural Style Transfer to fractals. His website is julius-horsthuis.com.
↓ this is 1 (composite) formula, by the way1
That moment when your rant has gone so viral that you have to force close devRant app. Coz your phone is buzzing every half an hour....10
I was on the train and a woman came aboard. The only available seat was next to me. She takes this huge laptop out of her bag. While I observed this, I thought: she's going to code. She logged in and.. GitLab! She was writing R code.
Software developers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problem.
3 database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later, they walked out. Because they couldn't find a table.
If the box says:
"This software requires Windows xp or better."
Does that mean it will run on Linux?1
Tech head fires a mail few days company is planning a hackathon. Overnight at office, with food, music and home drop offs in morning. We devs feel excited we will get time to work on our personal projects and complete them.
Yesterday, tech head fires a mail about the topics. Guess what? The topics are projects which company needs to scale up... Image recognition and text extraction. Selenium. Esign.
Now I am searching for an excuse to skip the hackathon...4
in the early 2000's I started installing Firefox on my high school's computers. about a month later it was being deployed to every one of them2
Web security checklist:
Don't forget to bleach your eyes after reading...4
I'm afraid of tomorrow.
The last weeks.... Were shitty.
And I might finish the first part of the VM migration next week...
I planed for failure. Next week was the worst estimate...
Do you remember when you've played a game and noticed the sudden increase of ammo / health / mana bars and that the enemies got stronger? Endboss time? Fickity fuckity you'll die soon time?
I guess that's this tingeling feeling in my head...
And I'm realllllly scared, cause the last fuckup was a NIC brick on one of the VMs host server. Never had that before.
Pray satan that the week will show mercy.1
I have nothing but good things to say about the book “Building Microservices” by Sam Newman.
Very well written, high-level look at Microservices. It took a lot of the assumptions I had built and dissected the different options and approaches with drawback included.
Now, onto “Building Microservices With Go” by Nic Jackson!1
When a Google image search on your company name turns up more images of "ME" than the co-founders... Amazing feeling... One of the perks of working in start ups...2
So I reinstalled Ubuntu server and set the ip to 204, but I forgot that I assigned a static ip to it in my dhcp. I guess it has two IPv4 addresses now? How? Only one NIC 🤔3
Yesterday was a horrible day...
First of all, as we are short of few devs, I was assigned production bugs... Few applications from mobile app were getting fucked up. All fields in db were empty, no customer name, email, mobile number, etc.
I started investigating, took dump from db, analyzed the created_at time stamps. Installed app, tried to reproduce bug, everything worked. Tried API calls from postman, again worked. There were no error emails too.
So I asked for server access logs, devops took 4 hrs just to give me the log. Went through 4 million lines and found 500 errors on mobile apis. Went to the file, no error handling in place.
So I have a bug to fix which occurs 1 in 100 case, no stack trace, no idea what is failing. Fuck my job.
This is the worst possible thing that can happen, when you setup a new computer.
I live for about a decade on ubuntu. I got an invite for a LAN where games are being played that I cannot run with wine or are not ported to linux.
Fine I get an old harddrive and setup a fresh Windows 7. I have a little update script that takes care of updating and restarting.
BUT I CAN NOT DO ANY UPDATES.
As you can see in the picture the original Windows 7 installation disc that was part of my computer did not carry the matching NIC drivers.
A friend of mine gave me a spare WiFi dongle. That did not bring its drivers on the USB dongle but on disc that he lost.
WHY?! HOW?! This is not plug and play. This is a part that SHOULD be plug and play.
After I got an other WiFi dongle that was plug and play, I could finally download the right drivers.
Why can the Windows 7 disc that was part of the computer setup not contain the right drivers, but a ubuntu 12.04 live disc can?!
Doing a talk on 'Security in PHP' and live demo on web attacks and safeguard tips this Saturday. Any tips fellow Ranters...?13
# NEED SUGGESTIONS
I am working on a secure end to end encrypted note taking web application. I am the sole developer and working on weekends and will make it open source.
The contents you save will be end to end encrypted, and server won't save the key, so even I can't read or NSA or CIA.
So I wanted to know if the idea is good? There are lot of traditional note sharing apps like Google Keep and Evernote. But they store your stuff in plaintext. So as a user will u switch to this secure solution?14
Just found out that I have been reassigned to maintain an in house shitty project... It's full of crap code, no documentation, has lot of duct tapes to keep the project together and 20+ open bugs and issues...
I am so happy with my current project. But my manager is always pissed off at me for no apparent reason.
Fuck this shit... Any excuse or advice to dodge this BS project? Can't quit job, I am getting payed alot here.7
2 AIX workloads got messed up during patching. Apparently they had a local database and they were in PROD env.
"Not a biggie - there's always a netbackup to restore the whole workload" - I said and reached out to netbackup folks.
Turns out even though netbackup was configured properly it had never even initiated successfully bcz backup NIC was not whitelisted in network layer. Never ever in 3 years.
Service guys were piiiiiiiiiiiiised big time1
Twas brillig, and the Protocols
Did USER-SERVER in the wabe.
All mimsey was the FTP,
And the RJE outgrabe,
Beware the ARPANET, my son;
The bits that byte, the heads that scratch;
Beware the NCP, and shun
the frumious system patch,
He took his coding pad in hand;
Long time the Echo-plex he sought.
When his HOST-to-IMP began to limp
he stood a while in thought,
And while he stood, in uffish thought,
The ARPANET, with IMPish bent,
Sent packets through conditioned lines,
And checked them as they went,
One-two, one-two, and through and through
The IMP-to-IMP went ACK and NACK,
When the RFNM came, he said "I'm game",
And sent the answer back,
Then hast thou joined the ARPANET?
Oh come to me, my bankrupt boy!
Quick, call the NIC! Send RFCs!
He chortled in his joy.
Twas brillig, and the Protocols
Did USER-SERVER in the wabe.
All mimsey was the FTP,
And the RJE outgrabe.
That awesome feeling when you launch your application on prod server....
*after 5 mins*
Customers start calling about dashboard not working....
I just got an old refurb for the garage to run my camera capture stuff, as the raspberry pi wasn't cutting it. I thought for a split second about leaving the legit version of Windows 10 that came with it on it, and trying to do some in-home streaming over steam, but I found out very quickly that an old corporate refurb is not going to cut it for game streaming. And with all the complete nonsense you have to abide to make Windows usable(ie: disabling stuff you don't want), it's not going to be any use to me in Windows if it can't stream.
Also, for some reason, Windows just wouldn't use the built-in NIC at all. It reported the cable was unplugged, and just absolutely would not work. So, Debian it is, and lo and behold! The NIC works like a champ now. The camera capture works brilliantly too, so now I can turn off my desktop at night.
Linux just works. Windows, more and more all the time, is just more trouble than it's worth.2
Completed 1 year of experience in web designing and development today...
I haven't even passed out yet. I am still in 4th year computer engineering....
Hands on experience teaches me more than college lectures....
Fuck ATT, Fuck their company, Fuck their router, Fuck everything they stand for. I just spent 3 hours trying to solve an issue with their fucking router and my bonded nic setup on my home server. I still don't have it completely setup correctly. I just want to murder them at this point. I really need to build my own fucking router at this point. It would end up being so much easier.2
Too much division fellow devs.
We will never know world peace until 3 people can look each other in the eye...Simultaneously
When the recruiting company mails you about new jobs along with your PASSWORD!
Dude, you have a fuckall dev and u will help me find a job... Thanks, but no thanks.4
The girl at the bottom needs a tooltip above her:
I need a task queue for my life. A 'The Sims' style set of icons om desktop OS that breaks down into details, checklists, related pages I've visited/researched. cross platform so I can keep track on my phone.
I'm not to big to admit I need skynet to keep me on the tracks
Anyone here in IT that had to deal with Windows 7 PCs magically lose their nic drivers overnight? Had 10+ PCs I had to manually reinstall drivers after an overnight patch. What kind of sh*try upgrade was this and how did it happen?2
This month is a nightmare,
1. Laptop battery dead
2. Laptop hinge broke
3. NIC Card dead(no idea but maybe because of the hinge )
4. Power Jack got fucked
5. Laptop Fan kinda dead(sometimes work sometimes don't maybe due to power issue)
6. Mobile's charger wire fucked
I decide to try a PCI network card to solve my network issues..
I go for an old Intel one, recommended for its works with everything approach.
Turn PC off, plug in card, oh wait, its a half height card.. no problem, take off the metal deelie and use blutak to hold it in place..
Turn PC on.
Boots fine, and into Windows 10 we go, and blank screen...
Now what.. ?18
CS teacher: "I want you to do this project using DSDM. Every member needs to be appointed a role that is best suited to their abilities."
He has never heard of Agile.1
Nintendo...and their sins are trivial compared to the human QoL exploitations by big apps.
Take your pick:
Grew up as a total Miyamoto fanboy, RIP sweet prince. I'm not even complaining about the copy-paste mentality with their games (because they're still fun and polished)
I'm honestly confounded by their petty attempts to knick the pennies of youtube content creators; it's seemingly blind, principal-based pride. In a utilitarian sense, their behaviors are contrary to the big picture. So I just shake my head and game on desktop. GG.
We devs are installing adblockers. Meanwhile, Google shareholders are clicking all ads to increase Google's revenue...
Awesome feature by devRant...
You can't post your password in rants or comments... See:
My password is ***********
Try now! When you post you can see the password, but others will only see '*'.
-If you fell for this, u r a noob.17
Fellow social skeptics, I need to vent. Flew back into RI for the family, not the various holidays. Fuck christmas. Fuck the societal norm that's been programmed into me and all of us. "Merry Christmas", "Happy holidays".
Yeah that doesn't play so well for my family after your brother dies the night of the 24th.
Even my best friends slip up with it, and even I'm regurgitating the phrases when I'm in public and need to be socially fucking acceptable. It's fascinating to me just how muscle-memory it is. Does that make it hollow in the first place? Is the well wishing the point and the sounds and message secondary?
Whatever it is, I've never felt comfortable in these social situations anyway. If I didn't have to travel to see my family, this would just be another day. So here's a big fuck-that to social obligations and gatherings. I just need a good intellectual conversation or a project to dive into.
I wrote my first proper promise today
I'm building a State-driven, ajax fed Order/Invoice creation UI which Sales Reps use to place purchases for customers over the phone. The backend is a mutated PHP OSCommerce catalog which I've been making strides in refactoring towards OOP/eliminating spahgetti code and the need for a massive bootstrapper file which includes a ton of nonsense (I started by isolating the session and several crucial classes dealing with currency, language and the cart)
I'm using raw JS and jquery with copious reorganization.
I like state driven design, so I write all my data objects as classes using a base class with a simple attribute setter, and then extend the class and define it's attributes as an array which is passed to the parent setter in the construct.
I have also populateFromJson method in the parent class which allows me to match the attribute names to database fields in the backend which returns via ajax.
I achieve the state tracking by placing these objects into an array which underscore.js Observe watches, and that triggers methods to update the DOM or other objects.
Sure, I could do this in react but
1) It's in an admin area where the sales reps using it have to use edge/chrome/Firefox
2) I'm still climbing the react learning curve, so I can rapid prototype in jquery faster instead of getting hung up on something I don't understand
3) said admin area already uses jquery anyway
4) I like a challenge
Implementing promises is quickly turning messy jquery ajax calls into neat organized promise based operations that fit into my state tracking paradigm, so all jquery is responsible for is user interaction events.
The big flaw I want to address is that I'm still making html elements as JS strings to generate inputs/fields into the pseudo-forms.
Can anyone point me in the direction of a library or practice that allows me to generate Dom elements in a template-style manner.4
TL;DR: Embedded software guy needs to create a multi-instance sandbox environment in Jenkins for testing and not sure what good solutions are out there. Looking for suggestions.
So at work, we have these really cool integration tests that validate our system for flight safety. What's not so cool is that due to factors outside of my control, each test has to be run serially and the entire test suite can take many many hours. This is mostly due to a hardware limitation (not enough physical NICs), but there are other SW factors as well.
What I would like to do is somehow be able to wrap up all the resources into a neat little package and then deploy that package into some kind of virtual environment that can be instantiated on a Jenkins job. The NIC issue would be replaced with a virtual one and *theoretically* I should be able to spawn as many instances of this virtual environment as my CPU and RAM can handle. In short, I want to pseudo parallelize our test suite and drive down our testing time. Somehow I would need to be able to control this entire thing from a script of some sort.
Does anyone know of something out there that would satisfy these kinds of requirements? Double internet points if it's open source.
So as a personal project for work I decided to start data logging facility variables, it's something that we might need to pickup at some point in the future so decided to take the initiative since I'm the new guy.
I setup some basic current loop sensors are things like gas line pressures for bulk nitrogen and compressed air but decided to go with a more advanced system for logging the temperature and humidity in the labs. These sensors come with 'software' it's a web site you host internally. Cool so I just need to build a simple web server to run these PoE sensors. No big deal right, it's just an IIS service. Months after ordering Server 2019 though SSC I get 4 activation codes 2 MAK and 2 KMS. I won the lottery now i just have to download the server 2019 retail ISO and... Won't take the keys. Back to purchasing, "oh I can download that for you, what key is yours". Um... I dunno you sent me 4 Can I just get the link, "well you have to have a login". Ok what building are you in I'll drive over with a USB key (hoping there on the same campus), "the download keeps stopping, I'll contact the IT service in your building". a week later I get an install ISO and still no one knows that key is mine. Local IT service suggests it's probably a MAK key since I originally got a quote for a retail copy and we don't run a KMS server on the network I'm using for testing. We'll doesn't windows reject all 4 keys then proceed to register with a non-existent KMS server on the network I'm using for testing. Great so now this server that is supposed to connected to a private network for the sensors and use the second NIC for an internet connection has to be connected to the old network that I'm using for testing because that's where the KMS server seems to be. Ok no big deal the old network has internet except the powers that be want to migrate everything to the new more secure network but I still need to be connected to the KMS server because they sent me the wrong key. So I'm up to three network cards and some of my basic sensors are running on yet another network and I want to migrate the management software to this hardware to have all my data logging in one system. I had to label the Ethernet ports so I could hand over the hardware for certification and security scans.
So at this point I have my system running with a couple sensors setup with static IP's because I haven't had time to setup the DNS for the private network the sensors run on. Local IT goes to install McAfee and can't because it isn't compatible with anything after 1809 or later, I get a message back that " we only support up to 1709" I point out that it's server 2019, "Oh yeah, let me ask about that" a bunch of back and forth ensues and finally Local IT get's a version of McAfee that will install, runs security scan again i get a message back. " There are two high risk issues on your server", my blood pressure is getting high as well. The risks there looking at McAfee versions are out of date and windows Defender is disabled (because of McAfee).
There's a low risk issue as well, something relating to the DNS service I didn't fully setup. I tell local IT just disable it for now, then think we'll heck I'll remote in and do it. Nope can't remote into my server, oh they renamed it well that's lot going to stay that way but whatever oh here's the IP they assigned it, nope cant remote in no privileges. Ok so I run up three flights of stairs to local IT before they leave for the day log into my server yup RDP is enabled, odd but whatever let's delete the DNS role for now, nope you don't have admin privileges. Now I'm really getting displeased, I can;t have admin privileges on the network you want me to use to support the service on a system you can't support and I'm supposed to believe you can migrate the life safety systems you want us to move. I'm using my system to prove that the 2FA system works, at this rate I'm going to have 2FA access to a completely worthless broken system in a few years. good thing I rebuilt the whole server in a VM I'm planning to deploy before I get the official one back. I'm skipping a lot of the ridiculous back and forth conversations because the more I think about it the more irritated I get.1
This conversation happened yesterday between me and a client:
"I need drivers for my Hackintosh build, macOS doesn't find and install the graphics card and the NIC"
I laughed at first, then i asked him his configuration..
"I have a 6700K and an MSI M3 H170"
Okay, things are getting worse here...
"So do you know the difference between H170 and Z170?"
"Yes, I have bought an H170 one because i do not overclock"
"Then, tell me why the f*ck you have bought a K processor if you do not f*cking overclock..."
"Because is more powerful"
F*ck no, he didn't said that...
Finally after 3 fucking months, 15-20 fucking meetings, I got sign off for a feature release. The development took 3 weeks and was completed in March end.
I know being a financial institution and feature was regarding system handling funds, business guys need to worry a bit as any mistake in code can mess up the funds disbursal. But fuckers took 3 months to give sign off.
However, it's finally released and I can relax for now. #peace
Multiplayer 3D engine architects:
While building the inital engine of your team's renderer and network systems, what were the most helpful things members of your team could provide?1
PHP gurus / masochists.
I've been using Symfony components for new, isolated features in a legacy php application for awhile now. the time has come to integrate using the kernel, and routing for new endpoints while existing endpoints use the existing apache means of loading pages.
It's not my first rodeo doing this, but I'd appreciate any wisdom/resources/patterns you followed for anyone who's had to do the same.
My clients don't have the means to do hire the appropriate ammount of devs to do a proper port, so this is a long path towards modernization by ceasing to bolt on features to existing code and instead, when working on something, updating it to the new design pattern and then extending that, with a spec, documentation and code coverage.3
@dfox I am not getting push notifications on my new oneplus 3t.... What to do?
I used android migrate feature to auto login apps from my last phone...9
Management that understands and respects the true virus like nature of technical debt. Considers the implications of bolting on more features. Gives me a place at the table in decision making regarding these matters.
Don't settle for any less.
React/Angular may have been a better call but I just didn't have time so I needed to rapid prototype in jquery /vanilla JS.
I'm in the midst of learning and refactoring all the ajax calls to promises and then to async/await, so it's a huge learning experience...
Meanwhile I've got to build objects to represent the data on the backend which is all legacy OScommerce/PHP
Hell of a ride.
Any web developer from Canada? Thinking to shift there next year... Just wanted to know the work culture and opportunities there..
So well... 2 monitors are not enough for testing an server ha application with teaming/bounding interface with 3 nic.
I have been working on a long time, low progress project of mine that keeps on giving and giving.
Let's begin like two years ago where I dipped my toes into "more then gigabit" networking thanks to a Linus Techtips video about infiniband.
I had the dream of booting my Workstation from my NAS, a so called diskless setup.
Well, since I run FreeNAS on my Nas , a very nice Freebsd based Nas OS, everything's gonna be good.
In the beginning, there was no infiniband support.
Turns out, you don't need it, since the mellanox CX2 nics can do ETH too.
Just took me a few weeks of anger.
So, to be able to boot something over the network, you need firmware that finds the bookable stuff and loads it.
That protocol and firmware is called PXE.
PXE needs a DHCP telling it what to do, and what is where and etc.
Freenas here I come! Installing dnsmasq on the actual freenas install turned out to be not that great of an idea because freenas thinks of itself as being an "appliance" that you don't fiddle with. So things work, until you update/ upgrade when everything will basically be wiped, except what you have done through the ui.
Ok. So I gona use a jail, a container like thing for that.
Everything is great, jail has internet, everything Installs fine, what could go wrong?
Dnsmasq can launch and work, but not as dhcp server. Some thing about permissions.
Turns out, jails have permission like things.
A few days of head scratching later, it has ALL the permissions.
Dnsmasq still can't work as DHCP server though, why you ask?
Because it needs a specific kernelmodule that isn't contained in the jail. Since jails are kind of like a docker container, they run on the same OS kernel, who does not have this module, I'd need to patch the freenas, which is an appliance, so fuck that.
Like a year later, freenas has finally added good VM support, so why not make a VM for the dhcpserver?
Well, about a year ago, I didn't know that the virtual Intel nic is a fucken unstable piece of garbage, crashing nearly any OS at some point.
So that was it for a while again.
Now to the last few weeks.
Finally dnsmasq is running in a freebsd VM with a good and working configuration which is rather simple, if those tutorial fuckers out there would explain shit instead of just telling you to copy, paste and replace X.
Now back to the PXE side.
I'm using iPXE because I have no clue how to boot anything over tftp so iSCSi it is, since that is what I can relate too.
The idea behind iscsi is to fake a SCSI disk over the network. Attached devices appear as if they are actually directly connected to the machine instead of over the network.
iPXE gets a lease from the server, can connect to it, everything is fucken great. Finally.
Except that if it "sanBoots" the iscsi drive, it can't find anything to boot.
If I attach a Linux live USB over iscsi, it boots, finds grub, and crashes because the live iso isn't configured for network-boot.
But it boots.
So what's so different?
Well iPXE is booted in legacy mode, where as the content of the target is windows 10 in efi mode.
Ok. Can I get iPXE to boot in EFI mode?
Well yes, after like 3 days fiddling with it.
But it only finds the onboard Intel nic instead of the new Mellanox CX3 cards, and can't even connect to the target....
Sooo, I guess my options are as follows.
Either, get PXE efi to work on the network cards directly, its called flexboot and might be able to since I just found some firmware options for that.
Or give up on efi and install windows in legacy mode.
Which isn't that easy when it has to end up on a drive on my nas.