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Search - "not a feature"
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Leaning Tower of Pisa being a wonder of the world is basically "It's not a bug, it's a feature" example.1
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Client: Why is this not working?
Me: Because the feature expect a...
Client: I sure hope you won’t expect your client to want to know all these teach behind this feature, as a client, I just expect it to work.
Me: Ok...
Client: So why isn’t it working now? WHY?
Me: 🤦🏽♂️
Client: I need a response!
Me: It is not working because...
Client: Stop telling me logics!! I just want it to work. Why isn’t it working...
Me: It is not working because I fucked up. It will work after I fix it.
Client: Why isn’t it working though... I don’t understand why...
Me: Just let me fix it and it will work...
Client: Why can’t you tell me why... it’s not good communication... (hangs up)12 -
After a long battle with CSS I give up and show the client a preview.
Client: I like how you made this first row a bit wider. Really makes it stand out.
Me: Yeah...right, that was intentional... 😎3 -
I don't know why @dfox , @trogus didn't want a username with underscore and I'm sure they must be having some valid reason for it. But how in fuck did this user have the guts to rate the app 1 star simply because it doesn't have a login with fb feature? I mean you can request for a feature but it's dumb of you to rate 1 star because it doesn't have a feature you want. This is true for any app not only devRant.
Source : One of the user reviews of devRant on the play store.54 -
Today, I finally had the opportunity to say to a client: "It is not a bug, it is a feature".
No, seriously, it is a feature.2 -
I love how "minimal" devRant is.
No username, no time... just the number of likes and number of comments ..
*it's a feature not a bug*
✌(◕‿-)✌3 -
Dev submitting PR: “Testing instructions: Self explanatory”
Dev reviewing PR: You need to be a bit more verbose than that.
Dev submitting PR: “Testing instruction: Feature should work as expected”
Dev reviewing PR: *sigh*… Feature doesn’t work as expected
Dev submitting PR: WHAT IS NOT WORKING AS EXPECTED??? I NEED MORE DETAIL THAN THAT!!
Dev reviewing PR: …….So do I you muppet5 -
dfox please put in a "support us" feature of some sort that lets us watch ads of our own free will. I hate using your resources while not working for it at all.42
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Manager: so how long will feature A take?
Me: about a week.
Manager: and feature B?
Me: also a week.
Manager: how about C?
Me: another week
Manager: great! then we can finish the project in a week!
THAT'S NOT HOW MATH WORKS9 -
Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.joke/meme its a bug not a feature bear grylls lol so spaces tabs php stackoverflow tabs vs spaces feature stack overflow2
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I quit and my last day is next week.
Apparently management has decided that I should spend my last day implementing a new feature for a customer where I have been the only developer, and release it to production (without first implementing it in test) the same day. A feature that potentially could cripple a whole workflow if done wrong.
Of course I advised not to release untested code to production on a friday, just before the only person that knows how it works leaves the company. But no, “the customer reaaaaaally wants it before summer, so just be careful not to write any bugs”.
I’m not saying that I’m intentionally gonna write bad code - but if I do, I’m not gonna pick up the phone when it calls.17 -
Saturday late night wisdom.
Software developers you need to work on communication skills.
Everytime LinkedIn says need a problem solver. It means a guy who can understand what non technical guy is asking for and translate that to a software or at least come up with a example of why he is wrong. Explain them. They are not dumb fellows for asking that feature. You might think the feature is stupid. Don't assume this. Sit with them. Understand thier user flow, understand the frustration your software is causing them. Then you'll see why are asking for that X feature.
Every feature request made is basically my opportunity of understanding of product. Don't wait for users to tell you requirements. Understand and suggest, implement prototypes and show them, a causal question such as "Hey would you think providing a keyboard shortcut for this submission is great?"
Understand our job is not just to write software.
Our job is to solve thier problems using software knowledge.
Don't you agree ?4 -
My application closes, but with an error, but it technically still closed. Soooo, no problem, right?5
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Our product owner's equivalent of "It's not a bug, it's a feature" seems to be "It's not a new requirement, it's a clarification."
:-/2 -
Devs: Feature A is done! Faster than planned even.
Manager: Hmm... what about feature A+B?
Devs: That requires feature B, and you said that feature B was not as important as feature A during our last meeting, remember? So we planned to do A, B, and then A+B. It's there in the meeting minutes.
Manager: But feature A does not make sense without feature A+B. Let's not release feature A just yet until we have feature A+B.
Then why didn't you say so during our last meeting?!9 -
manager (not technical) : we need to add blocking feature to our social media.
me : adding block feature will take 2 weeks developing.
manager (not technical) : why it takes too much time to develop you can just delete the user from the database if a user blocked him.
me : hahahaha ... just ... delete ...
manager (not technical): ...
me : hahahhahahhaha.....
....3 -
All the ++ counts are showing in binary... If this is an error I vote we keep it as a feature not a bug.3
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Boss: Have you finished that feature?
Me: Almost there, i'm refactoring some classes...
Boss: What? Refactor? But thisnis a new feature, it does not need refactor! We don't have time for this!
Me: 😵🔫
This is what happen when you care about code quality.5 -
Let's settle this:
Blockchain is just a dumb database, the feature that makes it amazing is trust-less ness.
Its not meant to make a decentralised uber or a Tic-tac-toe game.
Leverage the advantages of the system and solve real problem.5 -
Stakeholder: There’s a bug on the site.
Me: That’s not a bug. The site is supposed to do that. Your team asked for that feature and we implemented it last summer.
SH: They did?
Me: Yes, they did.
SH: You sure it’s been like this since last summer?
Me: YES!!!5 -
Tried browsing reddit on my new feature phone today, was not disappointed.
It has a surprisingly feature rich browser
http://html5test.com/s/...10 -
The problem with C++ is that all of your friends can see your private parts.
That's not a problem, it's a feature!9 -
Client : can you add a calling feature to our android app?
Me : Ok.
*** after updating the app ****
Client : what is this **** dialog (calling permission request for android)!
Users are complaining about it and refuse to use the app!!! Don't you know I can get into legal problems with this???
Me :But you just asked for this feature?
Client : I want this feature but remove the dialog.
Me : you can't that's not how google works.
Client : I don't care do something remove the dialog or edit it but keep the feature.
Me : 😑😑😑😑 nvm I'll figure out something.
Ended up with copying the number to the dial screen instead of direct call from the app.7 -
Ticket: Add <feature> to <thing>. It works in <other things> so just copy it over. Easy.
Thing: tangled, over-complicated mess.
Feature: tangled and broken, and winds much too deep to refactor. Gets an almost-right answer by doing lots of things that shouldn't work but somehow manage to.
I write a quick patch that avoids the decent into madness and duplicates the broken behavior in a simple way for consistency and ease of fixing later. I inform my boss of my findings and push the code.
He gets angry and mildly chews me out for it. During the code review, he calls my patch naive, and says the original feature is obviously not broken or convoluted. During the course of proving me wrong, he has trouble following it, and eventually finds out that it really is broken -- and refuses to admit i was right about any of it. I'm still in trouble for taking too long, doing it naively, and not doing it correctly.
He schedules a meeting with product to see if we should do it correctly. He tells product to say no. Product says no. He then tells me to duplicate the broken behavior. ... which I already did.
At this point I'm in trouble for:
1) Taking too long copying a simple feature over.
2) Showing said feature is not simple, but convoluted and broken.
3) Reimplementing the broken feature in a simpler way.
4) Not making my new implementation correct despite it not working anywhere else, and despite how that would be inconsistent.
Did everything right, still in the wrong.
Also, they decided I'm not allowed to fix the original, that it should stay broken, and that I should make sure it's broken here, too.
You just have to admire the sound reasoning and mutual respect on display. Best in class.19 -
beginner coder: figures out how to write a feature
average coder: knows a few different ways to write a feature. but not quite sure on which one to use.
master coder: meditates before starting a project. closes his eyes to map out the entire infrastructure of the project.
god coder: gets paid ALOT of money to guide people on the right to do it.2 -
Them: "How is that low priority feature request coming along?"
Me: "It's almost done, a bunch of higher priority things delayed me. It should come live sometime tomorrow"
Them: "It better do"
Me: "Oh did I say tomorrow? I meant next week."
Fuck your attitude. You won't die not having your "saves 15" minutes a day feature for a few more days while some people can't work at all before I fix a major bug. You're not even my manager.
Bonus: overheard him talking shit about me working too slow later that day too.2 -
I just told my biggest client that they have to start changing things or they will need to find a different company to work with.
I'm hired to program what they want. They are suppossed to do all the concepting, functional designs, QA, testing.
So they tell me to program feature x, not realising that this interact with feature y. And then complain about the change in feature y. Make me do a lot of extra work and then complain that my estimates are way off.
So I told them they also need to hire my company for the software design and QA and prefferable testing because I'm done getting blamed.9 -
Client : hey why does your app minimize once I receive a call? Fix this ASAP! Also why does it show *that*? I have not turned anything on!
Me : Sorry, not possible (explains), you might want to contact Google (for the lolz). Also, the feature is shown by default, you can turn it off via Menu - Settings - Navigation - xxx.
Client : Can you make the incoming call popup smaller when using your app?
Me : Unfortunately no, that's not something I can do. Contact LG.
Client : I have been to Menu - Settings - Map - XXX and the feature is still shown, why does your software not work? Also *this and that* is not shown anymore!
Me : You turned off the wrong thing... *jumps out of the window* *contemplates life* *cries* *dies* -
Found this on Amazon.
For non-germans:
"Programmers don't make a mistake, they just create new Features!"5 -
Easy cop out for people who wrote code vulenerable to SQL injection: It's not a bug, it's a feature that let's users search using SQL syntax.1
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Action takes place during demo to the stakeholders.
Manager : During the demo we will show a working prototype of new functionality. In this sprint we focused on that feature not on UX. Please do not pay attention to UI and focus on business values
*Dev starts sharing screen*
*1 sec after*
Executive : This is unacceptable. It looks gross, why you don't use default controls.
Manager : We did, this is how they look like, but please do not pay attention to UI, it is not finished
*Dev continue presenting*
*1 sec after*
Executive : I see missing comma in that sentence. It is unacceptable to show features in that state, lets move on to another team.
It was really large feature working as a charm, but they focused entirely on unpolished UI :/4 -
You dense motherfuxker. There is a reason why we create a separate feature branch, put our code there, check the CI and THEN merge that to master. The whole reason of merge feature to master is that the CI DOES NOT GET FUCKED UP! You never keep committing your feature changes directly to master. THAT'S HOW YOU FUCK THE CI UP.9
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It's not a bug if a feature is working how you told me it should work but not how you wanted it to work.6
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*during project development, we use a library as core of tye app*
Manager: We need to add feature X.
Me: The library developer announced that this feature is not supported.
Manager: why is that?
Me: *giving some tech explanation*
Manager: ok, but still we need it urgently, we told the client we already have it.
Just a simple day on my work9 -
System design meeting with the client.
Client: We need feature X in the design document
Me: But feature X was not a requirement, so it's not in the document and we will not add it.
Client: But feature X should be a common feature today.
Me: That doesn't matter, it wasn't a requirement. And besides that you don't even need it today, the planned system doesn't even support feature X, so we couldn't implement it, even if it was mentioned in the design document.
Client: But we may need it some day, and what do you do, when we decide to enhance the system in a few years and we need that feature then?
Me: Then we make you an offer for feature X.
Inner me: You ordered a bicyle and now you want it converted into a delivery truck next year without charge. That's not how things work.3 -
Our story start like this.
Boss: Hey programmer A, Can you implement {feature X} on this application?
Programmer A: I suggest not implement {feature X} because {negative impact of feature X}
Boss: Ok
Boss asks Programmer B.
Boss: Hey programmer B, Can you implement {feature X} on this application?
Programmer B: Of course, no problem
Programmer B asks Programmer A.
Programmer B: Hey Programmer A, Do you know how to implement {feature X} on this application? I have no idea.
Programmer A: WHAT!!! do you know that {feature X}, Will negatively impact our application?
Programmer B: Well that's our boss want, I can't say no.
Programmer A: (F**k I hate this guy)4 -
Cons of not having proper documentation.
Wasted whole day reading code because I have to implement a feature. Turns out to that the feature is already implemented, just needed to be plugged.4 -
Just used my first "It's not a bug, it's a feature" explanation 😂. However, the irritating part is, I had to explain it to another person from IT industry (I mean testers) who is from another company.
And it's really a feature and not a bloody bug. Stop reporting it on the bugs list 😥3 -
F@#$% ANDROID STUDIO! You should definitely add a feature of giving a Pop-up window asking if the user REALLY WANTS TO OPEN THE SOFTWARE OR NOT!
You should see my face when I click on android studio icon by accident 😩 on my Windows...6 -
That moment when the client tells you to remove a feature that you've worked on for 2 months ... But you're getting payed anyways so you try not to care 😣
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How clients tend to not understand how much work developing a "simple" or "small" feature can be.
Hey add live chat, that's easy right?2 -
!rant
I'm freaking tired of telling colleagues at work not to create feature branch in upstream and use their fork instead.
Turns out idiots can't recognize the difference between a forked repo and the upstream.3 -
Looking at git blame, I think I broke a feature 8 months ago. Not obviously broken, just one of the data fields is empty in one of our calculations.
I don't know if it's better or worse that nobody noticed...11 -
Holy mother of god, Signal is working on a feature which makes that the sender part of the metadata is not readable for them (of course you still have accounts but not sure how they obfuscate that part) anymore.
This is taking metadata protection to the next motherfucking level.3 -
Tldr; my "this is not bug, its a feature" moment actually turned my bug into a feature.
Today we were presenting a project which has imposible deadline. I am developing this small project alone (which is probably good). I implemented core features first but I know project still have bugs and a lot of tech debts. Another friend started to presenting our demo and a wild bug appeared as expected. He was adding rows to a table. To add a new you gotta open new modal by clicking + button and fill the form. One of the fields had a bug. When you add row by clicking Ok button, the value of the field stayed there after you open modal again. So its basically a state problem in React. I forgot to clear previous state of modal. When they see that and my friend said "oh we got a bug there". Then I enabled my mic and said "thats not a bug, thats a feature. I didn't want to enter that field again and again when I adding multiple rows and made it persistent." and you know what? They liked the idea! They requested to add that bug to two more fields. I was just joking and my "this is not bug, its a feature" moment actually turned my bug into a feature. Instead of fixing it, I'm creating more of this bug. LOL!5 -
Microsoft Teams can burn.
Their latest feature ? Well, turns out that when I get notifications on mobile that I do not get on desktop BECAUSE I AM FUCKING INTERACTING WITH THE CHAT OR CHANNEL THAT SENDS ME MOBILE NOTIFICATION, the notifications do not clear themselves. Oh, no, that would be too smart.
So EACH FUCKING EVENING I sit and browse all the fucking notifications to see if there is anything noteworthy I need to act on, or if it is a dead notification from earlier today.
Dear Lord, Microsoft are fucking experts at TAKE A WORKING FEATURE AND BRAKE IT.14 -
When the client decides not to do a feature because he finds your estimate unreasonable, then tries to add the missing functionality as a "bug" to another feature that's already estimated.3
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Subject of message: "Important: New feature for all 000webhost users." Thanks, 000webhost, an hour of downtime a day was exactly the feature I wanted to be implemented. P.S. if you have OCD, don't look at how many unread messages I have10
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When you find a bug in a "min" js file and you don't have the not minified version anymore... ok, it's not a bug it's a feature.6
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Feature request - auto play gif
It would be really awesome if the gif would play automatically and not by clicking on the rant's gif.
Of course we can keep a setting option to keep it on or off. What do you guys think?2 -
So a few months ago, I had this massive feature to add to one of the projects I look after. That’s usually not a problem, turning a sprint into a month+ but what ever, this feature was going to save hours of data entry and is extremely needed!!!
Come to present day, this feature hasn’t been used once, and probably won’t be for another 6 months. I just love deploying “needed” things that don’t get used. -
Today teaching the product managers what the channel in "selected for development" in Jira means.
Guess what? IT MEANS THE FEATURE IS READY TO BE DEVELOPED ON, NOT SOME HALF-BAKED CROCK POT IDEA WITH A TWO-SENTENCE DESCRIPTION DESCRIBING ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL!!!1 -
Team estimated a huge feature with 60 days. Made a prototype in a day, implemented it in the project the next day. Code looks a lot cleaner than a previous similar solution.
Now it’s 90% done. Should have worked with 2 other people. Oh well, sorry not sorry for that teamwork.3 -
Time to add a new feature in an Android app:-
Java code with basic layout to implement the feature - 1 hour
Polishing the layout - 30 mins
Time to fucking make the scroll view wrap around the text and not overflow in the dialog so that the buttons below are visible - 6-10 hours!!!12 -
You know what devRant is missing... Flags! Something like a national flag on the background, sticker on the notebook or some item on the desk. Just a thought7
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Today marks the first day i needed to use a fork of a Github repo, because it just didn't contain a very basic feature i needed. The PR which fixes it has been open for months without a comment on why it's not merged.
I mean i'm glad i found a solution at the end, but goddamn it's so sad when a popular repo is not maintained well.3 -
Gotham...
why, oh God, why do you have a scene in SE01 E17 at 9:20 min into the episode, where
J.Gordon uses reading glasses to a screen of an old B/W TV and magically is able to read a logo brand of a jacket.
How did the glasses add hundreds of more pixels to the resolution behind them.
This has ruined it for me, not watching now. Even Mission Impossible where they say "use DDOS to take over their systems" is better than this.7 -
Finally had a "it's not a bug, it's a feature" moment today and called bullshit on it. I feel like a real developer now.
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Maybe not a new rant but: When someone asks you for a feature and always says "its easy and simple" ... Yeah right... 😡2
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Client sends several emails requesting a new feature. Not a single reply when you email them about said feature.
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I'm playing nowadays NFS Rivals, where I can be a racer or a cop. There's this fucking bug/feature that drives me crazy, so basically when I'm a racer, I'm a target for cops even if I'm just laying around, not racing nor crashing into things. My fucking mere existence triggers them.
Fuck you EA.10 -
Fucking facebook researcher that make underfitted neural nets and fuck Mark that it's a marketing genius, the only idiot that can make news from a failure. The CEO of Tesla knows it and said Mark is not an AI expert. Bug not feature, it's only a poorly trained and poorly designed neural network having a bad representation of concepts, not a new language and not the fucking apocalypse. Google faced and solved the same issue when start ed using neural nets for zero-shot translations without using english as a translation bridge.
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// Feature Request START
Is it possible we can have some kind of markdown on posts and comments? Maybe not bold or italic, but because of the target of the app, some kind of one-line and multi-line code blocks that highlight from other text (for example: having a gray background, using a consolas font, etc)
// Feature Request END1 -
Got a mathematics library I develop and maintain. Someone filed a feature request ticket for matrices of matrices. As in, each value of the primary matrix is another matrix. Not understanding why anyone would need such a convoluted concept, I asked for clarification.
Response: "This piece of shit library isn't feature complete without it, now stop being a lazy fag in your mother's basement and actually do something"
Lololololol. Sure thing. Let me go waste two or more weeks of my life developing something i've never seen used in math, without any justification beyond "feature".4 -
A lesson I learned. Clients can't separate design from functionality. They will piss and main about a feature not working right when what they really mean is the aesthetic is not to their liking.
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I always love it when a manager who has no coding background tells me to "just do this" without ever letting me do any research. Just because you see it in you favorite app does not mean that feature is trivial.1
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* 1 day of requesting the feature, deadline not for a while*
switch{
case 1:
Manager: How's the new feature going?
Me: I've done a bit of the front end. Here's how it will look.
Manager: Oh great it's done! Does it do ABC as the client requested? Does it also do XYZ that I just thought about this second?
Me: eh this is just part of the front end, I haven't even connected it to the backend - I haven't even started the backend.
case 2:
Manager: How's the new feature going?
Me: I've done a bit of the back end.
Manager: ok. Can I look?
Me: we'll it's just code... *shows them the code*
Manager: oh... so it's nothing really. Call me when it is done
}3 -
So apparently a report on the Samsung Galaxy S8 will not feature a 3.5mm headphone jack.... Why is this becoming a trend? Who as a consumer is actually pushing for this change? It seems so incredibly backwards, yet a company who had seemed to pride itself in its superiority over Apple products, stoops to their level.8
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I just want to make it clear for all the PMs out there...
If you don't put it in a fucking ticket, or don't mention a feature you want in a ticket, I will not do the work or forget put something into a feature.
Write that bitch up if you want it done.2 -
That feeling when someone discovers a feature in your own game that you didn't know you even accidentally created😭😭😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖💖💖(its a working feature im not talking about bugs)1
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Client: "I found a bug on your website. Its not possible to submit the contact form."
Me: "No bug. Its a feature"
#answerforeverything4 -
so... 9 years ago we had this super awesome codebase. 1 file, complete logic COPIED to be used in ui and service/daemon. I scrolled to the middle of the file and there was no source. it was out of bounds of my monitor to the right because of nested ifs. ok... what the fuck!! the worst part: I had to implement a new FEATURE into this mess. 2 days. I said it would not work as expected because the feature was not thought through. but project said let's gooooo! ok there I was, a junior with an impossible to implement feature and a codebase from hell. I've implemented something, all night long. next day it was the problem of the consultants. they called me, I told them why it's impossible that this would ever work, they understood and talked to the customer. he accepted the solution. WTF?! anyway, in those days I thought about quitting developing software as my daily job....4
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Thank you unity, for not having an undo feature for files or something lice a recycle bin. You nailed it. You made this days work go wasted3
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This is a post about some gratitude. Many of my friends were not so lucky during COVID and their companies suffered. I am very grateful to be working for a company where my git branch name of a recent commit was 'feature/support-our-two-new-factories'. My company is thriving and growing :)1
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When you work your ass out for days and night together for a feature. Rip your brains apart for that slimy thing to work.
And the client says it was not needed.
FUUUUCKKK2 -
Just checked my work email to see what's coming in today....
And see someone on the London scheduled a 9AM meeting with me at 5:30AM my time.
Yes thanks for the advance notice...
Not going to be in the morning though and well the whole thing is BS based on some stupid new requirement that doesn't make sense.
Basically asking to migrate a while application to a new platform that no one understands yet.... Just to add a completely unrelated be feature...
Feature: 1month
Migration: 1 year based on the pre-reqs needed5 -
Client: it's not a feature it's a bug
Me: comparing with the old system and proofing that it is currently definitely working like it did in the old system
Client: I didn't instruct you to check the old system
Wtf?1 -
Today, in "Marketing showed a Beta feature to a bunch of cusomters"...:
"I shouldn't have given access to the Beta server to the new user... They're gonna find all of these bugs and they're not gonna be happy..."
You don't say -
Spend hours implementing a working landscape design for mobile app. Priority #1 most important feature. Review meeting attendees decide not to support landscape mode because...well, for no good reason at all.
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FUCKING HELL!
I just shutdown my computer after deciding to leave the unfinished feature that I started a couple hours ago for tomorrow.
Not 5 fucking minuets later I had found a solution in my head but now don’t want to spend the time to turn my computer on to fix it. Ugh1 -
When a manager asks if you can implement a feature (their are legitimately not sure if it is even possible) and you say yes and they say, "Good, 'cause I already assured the client that we would provide it on the next release"
Like, what the actual fuck...1 -
Not planning ahead, just start at some point, adding just a tiny little feature after another, and then wondering why your to do app (just to check out a new framework or language) suddenly comes with Blockchain, a chatbot and a machine learning algorithm that (slowly) learns when the best time to show random cat videos is...
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If there is anything I hate in life more than XCode is not organizing work!
A feature done few months ago on mobile, tested, passed QA and now it is not working! Why? Because API got screwed!! Why? Because someone is changing the core of the system without notifying anyone!!
Both API and that feature were not touched in months and suddenly stopped working and guess who is blamed, damn right me and the API dev when non of us even made a change -.-3 -
In my previous work, when I was under pressure (very often, because we were to few people for all the work) I used to manage the situation in the following way:
PM: It's super-important and prioritary to develop < 2 days feature >. Sales really need that feature because they cannot work without it.
Me: Ok. I'll need from them < 2-hours-to-get data > and then I can leave what I'm doing and start with the feature.
PM: *... goes to tell sales ... comes back*
PM: Well, they say they can work by doing < some not as confortable way as feature, but pretty acceptable >.
Me: Ok, then I'll continue trying to prevent the systems break down inminently.
On this work I learned a lot, but clearly, we were too few people to mantain the site, and too much lazy sales people. -
How far off can you implement a feature?
Task: Update add one feature to this endpoint and add test(s) for the new feature
What happened
* Correct endpoint
* Add 2 wrong features
* Remove one important feature
* Do not the requested feature
* Write a test that doesn't actually test the feature for the wrong endpoint
Intern be like: looks fine to me. Pls review and merge3 -
sales-managers: How long do you need to implement feature X ?
software-dev: Hmmm, that's nothing we have in our default-packages ... could be nasty, because it won't work without feature Y, which also does not exist in the current version 3 of our system.
I need to investigate this issue.
... 2 days later:
software-dev: This is really a nasty problem - to make X work, we've to reimplement Y for our system version 3, but this won't work with feature Z.
If we do this, it may take several weeks.
sales-manager: we need to go live in 2 months.
software-dev: might work.
------
1 week before go-live:
sales-manager: The customer saw us testing feature X. He does not like it. Could we just do it in ... blabla ... this way?
software-dev: This would work out of the box with feature Z, yes - we've to remove feature Y and X for that. But be warned - this might work next week without testing only.
sales-mamanger: do it now!
day of go live:
The customer tried the new feature X - it won't work.
software-dev: But it's not there, was removed, instead he has to use feature Z.
...
sales-guy comes back: He does not like it.
software-dev: why not? its working!
sales-guy: Yes, but he still wants it to work like feature X as he ordered.
software-dev: according to the specs, its exactly what he ordered. look at that: (showing the general specifications of project, showing feature Z).
...
sales-guy: The customer did not review this new document since last week.... Its still feature X
...
dev: really? why? I sent that version to you the day, he said, he doesn't like feature X, and you said I've to change that just urgently.
sales-guy: Please switch back to the version with X of last week. - could you. please ?
me: This won't work, because the other colleagues already finished their stuff on that currently running system - we'll lose all the optimations we've done to make this and other stuff work.
----- FAIL ------- NEVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT SIGNATURE OF THE CUSTOMER !!!
One week onsite and rescheduled go-live is just so-what expensive.
Today (some weeks later) ... I saw someone else sitting in sales-guys office.1 -
When you're in a rush to write a new feature but your compiler keeps nagging about not handling exceptions2
-
Did you know that you can't up vote your comments/rants on devRant? Wish it was implemented on other platforms.2
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that moment when you implement a new feature for product
while testing, QA comes and says everything is working fine except its not working properly in IE8🤔🤔3 -
A client asks me to produce a Release note when publishing a new version, which is more than fair ask, I shall deliver.
Then he asks me questions on the version's feature which are clearly described in the release note, with examples, showing he did not bother to read it..............
...2 -
That frustrating moment when you ask a Yes/No question and you get a full warstory and a conclusion to that story that doesn't answer the question and leaving you wondering why instead.
I just asked permission if I should implement this new feature on Dev/Test environment. Not gonna ask again next time. -
I just love the Windows Developer Support... but unfortunately I don't have the possibility to use it (error when try to submit an incident). :D
Maybe it's a feature, not a bug...3 -
coolest bug our team had was not a actually a bug but a feature that is misused and abused.
tldr: its a feature that became a bug
we have an app that has a "test print" feature to test the printer and the format of the document to be printed. it has the word TEST for fields and all that.
it became a bug when suddenly, the users use that feature to print documents, instead of using the app with the business rules and all, and just manually strike off the TEST words with a pen.
the feature became a bug because it has become a security risk. -
loop {
So I want to write a simple program in language X. Create a new project. Language X does not have this feature. Okay, Let me write a library that does that for language X. Create a new project. What was I doing again?!
}1 -
Just got upset with a coworker due to not understanding the code written, logic, lack of documentation, comments. Nothing!
Other coworker: But Dave, you added that feature last December. Remember?
Me: So what are we working on today? -
Writing a feature critical for production in 2 hours of solid focus during the morning.
6 hours later it's still not in the build because:
* tech lead wants the code to move to a partial class instead of an extension method, delaying the UX review. No guidelines for this ever existed.
* after seeing the result, the UX team wants some element to be dynamic. A line. A friggin horizontal line.
* after adding the dynamic shiny frigggggin line, I try to test the feature with the server. It is still not deployed because the server guy went home. "The PR was not merged so I assumed we'll add it tomorrow".
Another day at the meat grinder.6 -
Weekly Q: How do you keep yourself motivated?
A: No matter what - I allocate a little bit of time every week to something I really care about right now.
When I was green it was mostly learning. Now it's mostly codebase cleanup, dev experience improvement or dabbling with some feature that's not prio.
Might not sound like a lot but doing it weekly does add up. -
My phone just randomly started installing "instant apps" by itself even though my settings are explicitly set to not auto download update anything. It's not even visible in my installed apps to remove. After a quick search it seems like Google is forcibly rolling out a new feature. If I wasn't looking at my phone I wouldn't have known. Thanks for eating my mobile data.10
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Motherfuckers can't even create a simple login feature.
Lmao this promotion driven faggots are dominating the product thinking they'll commercialise it and earn profits.
Why is this hilarious? Because they are building this product for past 3 years and yet the login feature is not functioning.6 -
I came home about 1am and saw a bug in a small (unpaid...) project that had to do with timezones (see some earlier rants). Fixed it, got to bed.
A few days later I realized that a feature I implemented before was gone. Going through the git log I found out it was me in that night who removed it, by accident I suppose.
Not the end of the world but I was quite intrigued by my own drunk ability to remove a feature that had nothing to to with what I was doing and not even noticing it.2 -
I always love getting yelled at by a client about a feature that they “use everyday” and critical to their business is just not working. Go back and look... it appears that it broke a while ago (in this case a couple months).
It’s my fault, but I do start to question other blanket statements they make. -
Asked to implement a feature in a mobile app that wasn't actually supported by the backend. Feature had 3 possible values in the backend, only 1 and 2 were properly implemented. Below was the backend teams solution to support the third option.
- If the key is missing in API response A, means the user is not allowed access this feature.
- If the key is present in API response A, and missing from API response B, that means it hasn't been set.
- If both are the same value, user has that value.
- It will never be the case that both return option 3.
- If both are different values, one of them being option 3, display option 3.
this ... monstrosity, is in production to this very day. -
Once I implemented a giant ASCII skull for logging a fatal error in the company's app. Let's just say my feature did not get to production.4
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Feature to spam people everywhere. A frigging set of apis where you can spam sms to people based on their habits. I am sorry for this shit. Even I'm not safe from this.3
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Yet another ticket comes in about a feature not working after we push another update. So in my meeting I bring up adding testing would reduce this. Yeah boss just wants me to fix this issue and just do manual tests....fml1
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Tell me to work with the most critical feature of the project. So critical if not done right people can die! While working on it I find many poorly written requirements, I notify the leads about this. The whole thing is re-scoped and the feature is completed. I expected to become a senior after this but unfortunately only find out they put the blame on me for poorly written requirements that other people had written which I corrected... fml1
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Client decided today that they want to remove a core feature from their search engine that will not only change the app's functionality but the UI it was based around.
I told they client they can't do that. When they asked why I explained that the app has already been built from the designs that were approved two months ago and to switch it now would be a whole other invoice billed per hour.
Needless to say we are not removing this core feature.
*Finger gun to head. Blam! -
Not 1 Business Unit in Company: We need this feature immediately.
My Team: Anyone object to this 2 hour old merge request?
Me: Well, yeah, I found a couple things that we should probably go ahead and address.
My Team: we'll fix that in a future release
Me: But you said that last release...
My Boss: MR Accepted
Also My Boss: Can you make a new user story to fix this?1 -
Today I heard my first "This is a feature, not a bug" from a enterprise which gives us a SaaS.
They were damn serious, and never in my life I wanted to punch an IT guy so hard in the face more than today -
Why the hell does windows not feature a generell purpose interpreted language? This is horrible! Seriously, out of the box this thing doesnt support anything!13
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Them: Maintaing code quality is a vital part of our team culture!
Me: Really, how important? Can a feature slip to facilitate necessary refactoring?
Them: Well no. We've made a commitment to the client.
Me: So, code quality is not very important then is it... -
Object Orientation is not a feature, it is an unneeded layer of complexity over a dying paradigm, Imperative Programming7
-
Backend : *breaks feature in prod by changing api*
Me: Feature is broken in prod. Please fix. I was told that the API will not deprecate the old use case.
Backend: ... Fixing it in the backend will take time. Add support for it in the frontend.
Me: I'm not done with the new feature just yet. And it will take some time to have it reviewed and fully tested. Please fix the API.
Backend: .... Well, make a new PR and add support for it first. The new feature can come later.
Me. (-_-) Okay
Sometimes it feels like I'm a code janitor rather than a frontend intern2 -
I was too concerned whether or not I should extend a feature, that I forgot to check if I could do so.
Now I've shot myself in the foot by breaking half of the feature and my only solution to make this work out as intented are quite ugly.
10/10 would do so again. Programming like a retard is the way hobby projects are meant to be. Best learning experience you could hope for.
Also, bless git for giving me a second chance in case I've gone full retard mode.4 -
A program I was using did not recognize a flag that I needed, so I edited the EXE file (using notepad++, no hexeditor) to replace a flag whose name was actually checked with the one I needed. Worked like a charm.
The response for my bug report was "this feature should not be there in the first place, we will remove it". Lucky me they did not remove it earlier. -
Boss tells me every other week to "set focus" on a completely different topic without loosing a word on the "top priority" the day before. Or he asks for the other (not finished) feature to be ready "in the next few" days/hours.
Yeah. A real sunbeam in dark times.1 -
Today, a customer complained about a bug. I checked their account: yup, there was a bug. I checked it on my machine... nothing. It took me about an hour to figure out that they were actually just not using the feature correctly. I'd understand this from a stupid customer, but me?! FML2
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While smoke testing in production, I had to delete the sample entity I created to test the released feature, which is not a big deal
Until 20 minutes later, when I realized that I attached a couple of sub entities under it that contained actual live data1 -
It's awesome when one of your favorite apps removes one of your most used features!
Edit: Jk the feature's still there, just buried in a menu making it almost not worth the effort to use the feature.
Fuck you Spotify 🖕🏻7 -
What is it about clients that provokes them to ask about the same feature every day? No, it’s not fucking done yet, I don’t have a team of devs under me who work overtime to finish it overnight. It’s not going to get done any faster if you keep fucking bothering me about it.
-
I had a tight deadline so what I did to finish the feature was to cut corners by not writing optimized code and not doing enough dev testing to ensure the feature works.
End of today, I've moved the ticket to QA.3 -
for one split second I thought I had discovered a way to manage multiple states with one reducer function in react,
turns out it was a bug in my code,
I had already gone to brag about it on my react group chat, until I went back to my code and as I was cleaning up and closing brackets and all that stuff, my new feature stopped working.
I need to find that bug3 -
NOTE TO SELF:
Verify with your coworkers about how you plan to attack a certain feature if you’re unsure, especially since you work remotely. If not, you’ll have to fucking redo a feature three times -
class Bug():
def __init__():
self._fix = random.randint(1, 6)
def fix():
if self.is_feature :
return Feature(self)
else:
if random.randint(1, 6) == self._fix:
Bug()
del self
else:
return Bug() -
TFW the mock class has way more code than the real one.
Testing big infrastructures can be a pain...
Or maybe my team is just not so good at it.
My time spent:
Adding new feature to the real class 15%
Extending the mock with the same feature 55%
Writing tests 30%7 -
!rant && POLL
A lot of people are asking for poll feature. There have been many debates. While reading those, I even thought we should probably ask a debate feature before poll.
Anyway you can actually create poll rant. Just gotta be creative and a bit organized like adults (hope we all are).
1) you ask your poll question as rant
2) you enter your poll choices as comments
3) people ++ their favorite choice comment (s)
Of course this is not a poll-poll feature so there are many lacking functions. But at least it works to certain extent.
Eg Question : What is your OS?9 -
when viewing a profile and scrolled down enough to hide the avatar and the user description, it does not show up back again when scrolled up... is it a bug or a feature? 😂 @dfox4
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Hey Facebook devs: your see less posts like this feature doesn't work. How hard can it be to look for "juice plus" in a post and not show it? That's the common theme of every "see less posts like this" I click.1
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To you, who use Windows 11. Is there at least one feature that makes you glad you switched from 10 to 11? Or maybe not necessarily glad, but it would make you appreciate the new OS? One thing that would make the upgrade worth it... I myself can not think of a single fucking thing. (Please don't say better HDR support, that's the one most often mentioned feature. Definitely not good enough reason to have a new OS)11
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Was anyone else disappointed when you saw that Cortana was not the hologram from Halo in Windows 10?
I think MS completely missed the boat on that feature. I would have loved to have had a moddable Cortana hologram to interface with on searches.6 -
So I just found out the hard way, that you can't take screenshots, which is great if you want to enforce privacy, but not so great if you want to treasure some of the most awesome comments you find in this community.
Is there a possibility to add a feature like favorite comments?14 -
Feature request: copy text on double tap or hold on Android. Wanted to save a few quotes, but not as a screenshot... Just an idea :)3
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Cheated with my beloved 'optimization' to make a go around that fucking bug and then the temporary work around turned out to be nice feature. Great!! 😑 But I am not happy :( fml1
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I see why dfox chose to hide downvotes...
My reaction: why the fuck would anyone even bother to downvote ...?
But now I have a dilemma.... do I keep this feature or not? I kinda get a tingly feeling being able to know how many ppl hate a post.... WTF right?7 -
That moment when you estimate the time for a task, you finish it with minutes to spare and your manager is surprised that the time left is not enough to rebuild it in a twice as complicated feature 😣😣
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I told PM that a feature is only ready on Thursday. He goes and tells Tuesday to the business owner. Comes to me and says make it happen. Nope, sorry. Not going to happen.
Non-tech people should not make commitments. I long for the day their jobs become obsolete. -
FML, somebody here or somewhere wrote that al customers lie..
Just been a witnes to that.. Over skype (mind I reminded them to write to jira on several occasions so others can help if I am out of office) feature xy is not working.. I log in to server, I see no logs of person a doing anything with our system, let alone use the xy feature... Well duh, of course it doesn't work, it's not a freakin mind reader.. :/
Next time no help, no log checking, no nothing until they provide ss of what exactly they were doing.. :/ Fuuuuu....3 -
This fucking company man. Implementing a simple feature (just a couple settings in the android app) is taking me 4 fucking weeks(feature was done long time ago, but not in the way that. they wanted, even though I followed existing implementations). I have like 60 comments in my code review from which half feels like it's just purely nitpicking. I already have 2.5 years experience and I just want to kill myself or quit the job if every code review here willl be like this.
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A pm asked about a feature I was developing and I went on to show them what I got so far. Feature-wise almost finished, but it still needed to be polished and thoroughly tested, as such it wasn't merged yet. Weeks later - I couldn't finish it yet for unrelated reasons - there was great confusion about why the feature is not there as it had been billed to the customer already. So I gotta pull some sunshine out of my ass and bring it to the last release branch..1
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TIL that rants not loading when there's no internet is not a bug but a feature. A friend was going through the phone, and I don't keep mobile data, so he wasn't able know about the wk13 rants. Which is good because that would have destroyed him.
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I just blew up at my boss again.... I'm doing something and then he asks about including a new feature and figure out if it's doable. A quick question is ok but an analysis of a new feature.... NOT WHEN I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF RESOLVING A MORE IMMEDIATE ISSUE.
OPEN A FUCKING JIRA, SEND ME AN EMAIL, AND I'LL TAKE A LOOK ONCE I'M DONE WITH WHATEVER I M DOING.8 -
Me: There is a bug in the most recent "standard global software" release that causes data not to send properly to the device. There are 3 ways to send the same data to the device in the current release but they apparently don't do the same thing like they should. (Sent screenshots of the issue)
Standard Dev Support: "it's not a Bug it's a feature. So the development found out, that there are several problems with sending data to devices using "x" method. So they decided to stop "x" function in the latest release. Use "y" method instead."
Me: "X" and "y" methods are both still there. You didn't remove it in the latest release. So it is a fucking bug moron?!?
Wtf!!!!!1 -
My pair partner and I managed to break every feature test written by our 16 strong team today while fixing a login form. Fixing other people's non-refactored rspec tests is not a pleasant experience lol
-
When you have a bug filed for a feature you created to spec, questions it, and then they state the the bug shouldn't exist as it is "common sense" even though it's not in the spec.
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This week I delivered a big feature (took me about 2 weeks), QAs tested it yesterday results in about 10 Jira issues. When looking at these 8 was fake issues (QAs forgot to configure some stuffs) and 2 was feature requests. I feel some stress, I'm not sure it's a great success or I should test myself to see if there is really no problem :D2
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When you add a feature to your app, test quickly and see the new feature works, so publish to play store, only to discover you have broken core functionality 😭.
This just happened to me, I discovered it not log after the update and had to rush to fix it after discovering the play store has no "roll-back" feature ☹️.3 -
Off late I've been having a lot of debate with my friend about using Flask over Django for prototyping some feature. I side with Flask, since the development time is much lesser than Django and doesn't need to follow a lot of rules.
Issue here is, I prefer flask and he prefers Django.
Need opinion on this sort of problem, where a prototype for a feature in a product has to be built. It maybe integrated into the end product, which is in Django, or may not be.5 -
today i almost had my first intentional 'fuck it, i declare this bug a feature'-moment. then it suddenly worked. i don't know whether to be happy for it to work or to be annoyed not knowing what the hell happened.3
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My new feature has a bug in it, but not in Internet Explorer..
Huh? This is new! I know this the other way around! -
Online stores never have an “Exclude X” feature in the filter menus. E.g. I can filter to include all blue clothes but can’t exclude them.
From a query point of view this is not difficult. Would it be a UI nightmare? I don’t think so.3 -
Whenever you change your Instagram username it becomes unavailable completely even tho it's not taken. Not possible to get it back after changing.
Not sure if this a bug or a feature that they intended to have in their app...8 -
No QA Steve I will not insert a massive feature into the project no matter how high of an importance you deem it or how awesome you think it is.2
-
I estimated 4 days for a task, took me 1,5 and I fixed an issue in there while I ran into it and made a nice fallback for when some edgecase thingy is not supported, which is somewhat of a new feature...
Oh and its paydayayay! Olé! -
Demo of a feature had to be canceled just minutes before the meeting. Entire environment is hosed and don’t know why. Also, the feature to be demonstrated turned out to not be working before the environment stopped working, so we now have more time to shift to another solution. Win?
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Adding a new feature to a mobile app that has a bunch of classes for getting URLs! Want some examples?
FallbackUrlProvider
CompositeUrlProvider
CompositeRouteUrlProvider
CompositeBaseUrlProvider
RootUrlProvider
I was half expecting to find FallbackRootBaseCompositeUrlProvider!
Not only that, but there were a load of interfaces that sometimes didn't match the name of the class!!!
For example,
class RootUrlProvider : ICompositeUrlProvider
Ugh! But I managed to get the new feature in... Somehow... After trying something... Throwing it away... Trying something else... Throwing it away...
😭😭😭3 -
Listened my PO talking with client and she explained why we did it the way we did (so the app user flow has more sense) ending the sentence with "... so if you look it that way, this is not a bug, it is a feature!"
-
*While designing the native app for a web application*
Me: So this feature in the app will basically be the same as Feature1 in the web app, correct?
Client: That's exactly right.
*Presenting the new app to the client*
Client: Why is this feature not behaving like the Feature2 in the web app?
Me: You said you wanted it like Feature1
Client: What? No, it must behave like Feature2
Please help1 -
Not sure an anti social bunch as us developers are would make too much use of it, but is there a PM feature planned for devRant?10
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For our product there is a common type of bug we get reported. It is not really a bug, also it is not a feature - instead it is a missing or incomplete feature.
For example to help users we add a search feature on one screen, but there is no search on some other screen. Now the absence of search on that screen is apparently a bug.
To make things worse to report the bug users try to trick us. They say something like:
"Hey can you help me? How can I find things in the abc screen?"
So I explain how to browse for the item or whatever.
Then they say:
"Ok now how do you do that on the xyz screen?"
Slightly suspiciously I now tell them how you can browse for the item like before or we have this new feature eg. search you can use if that is quicker.
Now they say:
"Don't you think it would be better to have that search on the first screen?"
OK now I realize this is just a trick and the person doesn't actually need help using the software. So I tell him how we only added the feature on one screen and if he thinks there is value adding it on other screens he can put enhancement request in and if wants he can talk to my boss about making it a priority.
Then they go on asking other rhetorical questions like:
"why was it designed like this?"
"Are you guys deliberately trying to make life harder for people by making them learn different ways to do things?"
I now want to delete the new search feature but luckily it is close to lunch time so I have a good excuse to escape the conversation.3 -
So...we just sent a design proposal for a new feature to our biggest client. Their response? -Hmmm, let s drop this feature for now...OMG have you guys seen the new airbnb design for ios, like it s soooo cooool, we want that, redesign the whole app like this. - Yeah sure, except our app has nothing in common with theirs...Isn't it great when clients make decisions like this based on checking a new app version in the toilet real quick? 😝 Needless to say, we're not redesigning...
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A contains() function for a class to check if there was something in a list. I did not know about the if a in list_b python feature, so I resorted in a loop and a bunch of if/elses.
Efficiency = 01 -
Feature request: I would like to see older devs represented in the avatar choices. Not sure yet how that could be portrayed. I’ll leave that up to designers. Maybe just a little grey on the sides of the heads for hair color?3
-
is it necessary to have cherry picking a part of git branching/release process?
we have 3 branches : develop, release and master.
currently every dev works on feature as follows : they make a branch out of develop, write code, raise pr against develop, get it reviewed and merge back to develop. later the release feature list is generated, and we cherry pick all the release related commits to release branch, and make a prod build out of release branch. finally, the code is moved to master and rags are generated accordingly.
so the major issue with this process is feature blocking. as of now, i have identified 4 scenarios where a feature should not be released :
1. parallel team blocker : say i created a feature x for android that is supposed to go in release 1.2.1 . i got it merged to develop and it will be cherry picked to release on relase day. but on release day it is observed that feature x was not completed by the ios dev and therefore we cannot ship it for android alone.
2. backend blocker : same as above scenario, but instead of ios, this time its the backend which hasn't beem created for the feature x
3. qa blocker : when we create a feature and merge it to develop, we keep on giving builds from develop branch adter every few days. however it could be possible that qa are not able to test it all and on release day, will declare thaf these features cannot be tested and should not be moved to release
4. pm blocker: basically a pm will add all the tickets for sprint in the jira board. but which tickets should be released are decided at the very late days of sprint. so a lot of tasks get merged to develop which are not supposed to go.
so there's the problem. cherry picking is being a major part of release process and i am not liking it. we do squash and merges, so cherry picking is relatively easy, but it still feels a lot riskier.
for 1 and 2 , we sometimes do mute releases : put code in release but comment out all the activation code blocks . but if something is not qa tested or rejected by pm, we can't do a mute release.
what do you folks suggest?9 -
Sometimes I genuinely wonder what the thought process of some people is...
git checks out feature-X branch
git creates new branch off of it to work on something that has absolutely nothing to do with feature X
then opens a PR back into feature-X
Me: this has nothing to do with feature X.. i think you meant to branch off of develop and PR back into develop, no?
Them: no it was intentional .. feature-X will eventually end up on develop so I thought we'd get both features on develop.
I'm not even mad and this isn't a rant, I'm just really confused 🙂4 -
Something you really should not do:
*adds a new feature*
*build & run*
*See no difference*
Me: "Hmm.. Maybe 1 is not the best test integer, let me pick something higher..."
*build & run*
*INTEGER OVERFLOW EXCEPTION*
Feel free to share your "let me choose anothee test integer"-stories, which gone terribly wrong.1 -
You know what feature about macOS I just don't get? Notification center. I don't know what it is about it, but it just seems kinda out of place. Maybe because an app's notifications aren't cleared when it's opened? It's just not a feature I use.2
-
Here's one for the data scientists and ML Engineers.
Someone set a literal date feature (not month, not season, but date) as a categorical feature... as a string type 🥺
I don't trust this model will perform for long2 -
>People ranting about Whatsapp not adding features
>Whatsapp adds a feature
>People ranting about the feature whatsapp have just add
And this happen all the fucking time. When the double-check turned blue and in almost all major improvement they've made
Am I the only one who likes the new feature?
Peace guys, I don't want to start a telegram vs Whatsapp war here :P3 -
When a designer walks into your office and asks you to turn on a feature that is not ready for production...1
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I've never really understand why i should use tools with bad UI or even command line if it's not really necessary! I'm mean, we've FUCKING 2017, give me a proper UI! I want to work, not search every damn feature of the tool!
-
2 o clock (night) and i need to hand in a deliverable tomorrow, all small extras are implemented only the main feature not. I was so focused on perfecting everything i forgot functionality. At least it looks fantastic
-
Made a feature suggestion on the CakePHP repo...
Let's hope they aren't gonna give me the "not gonna happen" message T_T
https://github.com/cakephp/cakephp/... -
Calm down, all of you! I know that a lot of you hate Facebook, whatsapp, Snapchat and Co. And yes, WhatsApp's new status feature complete bullshit and just shows how anti competitive Facebook can be. But who cares? Don't use the feature if you do not like it. Texting didn't change in any way. Ignore the feature. There is probably other software out there that added stuff and you disliked. Did it make you stop using them? Probably not. You just ignored those. Deal with it :D and stop fucking ranting about it. Reading the same shit all over again after waking up. Frustrating as hell!3
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One feature I had added to an app where it put the photos of developers in a circular frame. Apparently it used some library to do the task and when the app was ready to launch, there was an error.
Yes you guessed it right. It was my feature that was not only silly but also erroneous1 -
Person I am grading labelled “not having bugs” as their website feature... if it wasn’t 2018, I probably would say that’s a standard part of any website or software. Now... at least they’re not passing it off as early access.
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Explain why a feature or request is a shite idea to your manager but don't accept 'well that's what the client wants' as an answer. Insist the useless manager twat should earn his money and not ruin the project.
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Working on an intense feature with a deadline, totally in the zone. Now being asked to have the borders fixed on a div as they are not the "right" shade. Took them one year to notice that. And no, I am not doing it now.
-
Holy shit, Kotlin does not have package-private?! I thought Kotlin was just a bad mix of JS syntax and Java... but not supporting an essential feature of the VM is on a whole another level of bad.8
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Okay for some reason I can make an almost accurate avatar version of me but I can't change my eye color because it's not even a feature?3
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This program I’m writing to test a feature for my project is working and also not working at the same time and I’m pretty sure this is the only field where I can say that and it be the truth and make sense1
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Don’t have any Laptop Stickers but do have stickers on my Roller Derby Helmet, and my fav has to be:
“It’s not a bug it’s a feature!”1 -
Coworker just showed me how he avoids merge conflicts and I'm undecided on it. We use feature-branch workflow, so if a feature takes a long time to finish, it may mean merging master multiple times. He avoids it by stashing changes instead of committing them, then when he needs to merge master into the branch it's still clean. When the feature is done and he's ready to commit, he pops the changes and git diff shows all the changes before you push and you just change what you need instead of being forced to use the horrible merge software.
There must be problems with this, right? This seems too easy for it not to be the standard.5 -
New strategy to combat managers:
If you claim we can't afford the additional time for the tests that come with the feature, I won't build the feature.
If you claim we can't afford the additional time for the proper API versioning that comes with the feature, I won't build the feature.
And finally, if the internationalized texts, designs, and image assets are not complete when it comes time for development, I won't build the feature.
It's time to rise and stand against the "You're an engineer! do it all!" notions. I'm not a designer. I'm not a translator. I'm not a by-hand manual customer tester. And I'm certainly not going to take any more of your shit.2 -
Confirmation bias: the tendency to interpret suspicious software behavior as a feature, not a bug. For example I just saw something that I'm not sure it's OK on a web app that I'm developing but let's pretend it's the intended behavior and keep coding.
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Been a while since my last rant, and this is not a rant.
Working at a startup is amazingly exciting and interesting.
Finally rolled out a feature from our company and. Is working on another one and the production bug keep coming from the old one. -
Sometimes I just have a crazy idea for an amazing feature I could add to a side project.
Then my brain goes into a fight with itself over this feature, one side saying "that's a lot of work, not worth it" and the other side "but then we could also do this and that and hey maybe we could even simplify other stuff a little bit" and in the process getting really fond of that feature. After some time, the idea is really optimized because the lazy side of my brain hates unnecessary work.
Anyway, I just came home, created a new branch and deleted a quarter of my code base which is now obsolete. -
The ability to make developers improve existing libraries/frameworks wherever possible instead of creating new ones every time they encounter a 'Feature X does not exist in library Y' type of scenario.
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Bugs: These are not bed bugs. For programmer they are a nightmare, to customer we introduce them as a new feature and say, “My software has no bug. It just develops random features.”
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I was about to implement a new feature (which I will call feature X), but I was not sure which branch feature X should be implemented on. Because of different products, there are a lot og branches around.
I was going to implement feature X on branch A, but that branch was currently not working, and someone was working on fixing it.
I was told by my boss to branch out from branch B as feature X would be merged in there later anyways.
And so I did.
After I am nearly finished with feature X I discover I need feature Y from branch A. Feature Y is not yet on branch B, but is scheduled to be merged in some time soon.
So I can't really finish feature X before that point, and I am told by colleague 1 I should have implemented feature X on branch C, because feature Y is there and branch C will be merged into branch B soon.
However, I found out that this has happened before.
First, colleague 1 was told to implement feature Y on branch A. This is the real implementation, the one I need. After he had spent a week implementing feature Y, he was told by colleague 2 that the feature should be implemented on branch C, which is branched off from branch B (I think). So he had to spend a day or two to move feature Y to branch C, but he still kept feature Y on branch A, because all branches will eventually be merged into branch A.
After a week or so, colleague 3 asks about feature Y and is told that the feature is on branch C. But colleague 3 need the feature on branch D, which is branched off branch B for some weeks ago.
I don't know all the details here, but colleague 3 ends up implementing a version of feature Y on branch D and he is happy.
I don't know how much time was wasted because of wrong information from management, but I have no intentions of wasting more time. I'll wait for the merge of branch C into branch B.
If this rant makes no sense, that's just my reflection of management some times.
I love management.4 -
When a junior developer forks new feature branch from his old feature branch and not from develop branch causing merge conflicts later!1
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Why is Jetbrains Rider trying to correct my spelling of words in comments?
Why does an IDE have a spell check feature?
It's not even right - "teleportation" is spelled correctly6 -
Not being sure about if the way I did or implemented a feature/functionality was the best practice and if not, is it worth it to try to come with a better way of doing it? I get paranoid about having problems showing up now because I did something not thinking ahead in the past1
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Three possible strategies for adding a new feature. Not sure which is the best, so I'm going to go with the one that's least invasive to the existing structure of the database.3
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feature request / suggestion / wish:
i would love to "reblog" posts, or any other way they will be visible in my profile ("mark as favorite", "star"...).
the idea behind it is to have a nice little collection of posts i want to keep available to me.
i even have a suggestion for naming the action: "inherit post" ;)
hopefully i did not just miss an already implemented feature :P4 -
if you somehow/accidentally make mobile youtube play on the background on a free account, then that's not a "that's not a bug, it's a feature" but a "that's not a feature, it's a bug"1
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I'm currently making an internship at a medical software company and today i found this gem in a js file:
/*
the server does not check if the element was deleted or not; it will return success, no matter what; **it's not a bug, it's a feature**
*/ -
Shoutout to C0D4 - you da real MVP!
Tried to subscribe to your rants, but it looks like that feature is suddently missing? Not sure, since I'm a 🤡4 -
When I reply on a comment in a rant the reply stacks by the other comments and not the actual comment itself. Am I looking into a bug or feature?
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Working with a tester that scope creeps and then “fails” the tests because they did not live up to the scope that the person added just now............. Man, that grinds my gears.. And then reaches out in order to verify whether a feature could be nice to have, and when I agree, she slams it in as a scope creep on another feature and “fails” the test.. Going slightly crazy here2
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Wtf is this a feature and I dont know? why on google I cannot find? or is this crappy bug? Why my file syntax is not highlighed in phpstorm? And file icon is different from other js files?7
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That feeling when you are on call and a report comes in of a feature not working correctly for a system you know nothing about. Sure, I’ll dig in a bit and troubleshoot before throwing over the fence. Hmm, feature was never coded - not in a shelve-set or branch…just never done. Was supposed to be done over a year ago I’m told. Humanity is too sick to survive.1
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One of the features I programmed for my Discord Bot was a Gfycat gif poster, not knowing Discord had such a feature built into the app itself. I would say my feature was more useless than unnecessary.
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Debugging feature
Start working on a solution
Does not work :(
Revert to base
It works now :O
How?2 -
the back-end now has spend 9 months to be able to upload phonebooks .... and it still doesn't work :'D
How... It's not even a complex feature. Just parsing a simple xslx file. I don't know how incompetent a senior developer can be.9 -
When I get a code review by my self-proclaimed expert colleague suggesting a change that ends up breaking the feature, I just implement that spaghetti code and let the testers know I'm not to blame.
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I know this has been ranted about before but I'm still in my first year, it's my turn now.
If I ask about a feature in week 1 of a project and am told it is not needed, the client doesn't want it, or it is outside the SOW, then dont come back to me weeks later asking about the fucking feature!
Holy fuck tits, I see what everyone was bitching about now. -
When you need that one feature from a framework, that it just not have. So you have to use a custom version till your PR has been accepted.
I see a possible problematic future... -
Today I had a look at the Linux kernel on GitHub. There was a commit made by someone else which I tried to comment on. But my comment was not getting added— probably because it is not my PR. Is this a feature or a bug ?10
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Feature not a bug...
My work laptop has started rebooting almost every night.
It's not clear why, but I sort of think of it as a feature now.
I have an ultra-wide monitor, plus another wide next to that one, and a bunch of virtual desktops.
I often think "ok everything is where it is that's good" but coming in reality with a bazillion things open across all the desktops and screens sometimes when I come back the next day ... it's actually just a lot of mess / overhead to pick up where I was.
Sometimes I think we introduce a lot of complexity to solve a problem and ... actually it's just more complexity if you're not already 8 layers deep.5 -
Everytime my qa says "it's a bug"
Me: You saint, it's not a bug, it's a feature...
*Awkward silence* -
every time I commit an new brunch I comment it with " it's not a bug, is a feature. "... checking the commit some days later..." damn.. that's a big feature "1
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Just a Thought
We are not creating any feature
We are just directly implementing bug/error at first place and resolving/fixing that thing with adding more code to it1 -
How do you convince your manager that a certain feature is absolutely not yet ready to be released. Any warnings & concerns fall on deaf ears 🤡4
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Today " It's not a bug it's a feature" became true. Had an escalation where user reported as a bug. Team came up with an answer they couldn't resist to accept it as a feature. 😎1
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Not really a project idea per se, more of a very robust plugin idea or IDE feature (Jetbrains preferably), for suggesting better variable names while writing code.
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Fuck! I frkn hate supabase right now.
Row Level Security seems like a nice feature but it does not fckn work for me. -
Been struggling for the past week to get a feature working in my personal project (which is the absolute core feature), and was just about ready to give up completely.
Quickly decided to see if it would work in Angular, and after a few tweaks from the default template it's working. Guess I'm not switching to React after all, even I did enjoy working with JSX -
I was new to Android development back then. One of the project requirements was to implement a feature, that will prevent the users from turning off the phone. Even if the users tries to turn off, the phone shouldn't turn off (specially when the phone battery is sealed). So, I tried a method and it works! But later the users reported that the feature doesn't work! I mean, I can clearly see that the feature works in all the phones I have ever tested. But later I realized that the feature worked in Debug APK but not in Release APK. I mean, seriously? It's not even some kind of pro-guard issues that happens with GSON+Parcelable. So, I did it again using a new method. Again, it works in Debug but not in Release. After trying and failing multiple times, finally I found a solution! May be this bug alone took me almost a week to fix it!2
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I've been so focused on making the E-shop I'm working on as customisable as possible that I've accidentally created a way to destroy it. It's not a bug, it's a surprise feature
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Creating a new class to help implement a new feature. Start with my tests (going full TDD).
Feature gets more urgency given to it, write slightly less tests as deadline approaches (half TDD).
Out of time, any future tests are burnt (no TDD) as I frantically wrap up the class with not even the time to write down a plan, it's live coding at this point.