I just spent 5 minutes trying to fix an error saying that I am missing a ";".

I saw a ; at the end of statement but I kept on getting the error.

After cleaning the monitor the ; disappeared and I was able to see the problem.

Clean your monitor once in a while.

*code doesn't work*

-Run three times, just to be sure
-Its NOT the code, must be the project. Full rebuild.
-Run a few more times after rebuild didn't fix it.
-Google the issue.
-Stackoverflow must be wrong. The code is JUST like their solution.
-Run a few more times, but with your lucky underpants
-Reboot. Must be an operating system thing.
-Tea break. Give the issue time and it will fix itself.
-Run a few more times. Still unfixed
-Contact customer support.
-Walmart said they can't help.
-Consider writing your own language without this OBVIOUS flaw
-Kickstarter for c++++
-Raise $50,000
-Start a family
-Contact customer support again
-Run a few more times
-Now banned from Walmart
-Oh shit, missing a semicolon

Every single time I visit my family during holidays they expect one to fix their computer/smartphone/printer/whateverFuckingShittyIOT-Device... Just printed them postcards this time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also: Hello devRant! Just been reading here for a week and every single day was full of gold - Thanks :)

A computer science degree doesn't mean we can fix everything, it just means we can understand how everything went so terribly wrong

Client: Why is this not working?

Me: Because the feature expect a...

Client: I sure hope you won’t expect your client to want to know all these teach behind this feature, as a client, I just expect it to work.

Me: Ok...

Client: So why isn’t it working now? WHY?

Me: 🤦🏽‍♂️

Client: I need a response!

Me: It is not working because...

Client: Stop telling me logics!! I just want it to work. Why isn’t it working...

Me: It is not working because I fucked up. It will work after I fix it.

Client: Why isn’t it working though... I don’t understand why...

Me: Just let me fix it and it will work...

Client: Why can’t you tell me why... it’s not good communication... (hangs up)

So I recently was donated a bunch of old iPhones to fix up and resell. When I turned on one of the iPhone 5s'es, I was greeted with this:

Okey-dokey... I guess I'll just sit here and wait...

Client wants a beautiful webpage ASAP.

I just discovered the perfect CSS that will magically fix all of their problems:

body {
display : none ! important;
}

The best part is that its mobile friendly by default.

After all,

Simplicity is key 😉

My dad: Hey Sébastien, I think my computer has a problem, can you look my computer ?
Me: Sure.
*walks in front of the computer*
*looks at the screen*
*go away*
My dad: But, you don't fix it ?
Me: Nope, you just asked me to 'see' your computer
*walks away*

Parents:why is my iPad so slow?

Me: It's old (1st gen that came out in 2010)

P:well just clean it up and make it go faster

M:Theres nothing to clean... Theres only a browser app and solitaire....

P: well just fix it so it's faster

M:....... *turns it off and on again*

M: All fixed

I got hired to fix the script a developer before me wrote. That's just 1% of the shit!

I really love it when people just downvote your question on stackoverflow without any explanation, it helps a lot to fix my problem thx 👌

So I found myself explaining to my rubber duck all the things I've done wrong in my past relationships...

What? It's a great guy, I shouldn't limit it just to code issues, I have a life it could fix too

That moment when you've been trying to fix a bug for hours then suddenly realize you've fixed it hours ago but just didn't clear the cache

Skiped lunch again today.

It was a case of, let me just fix this one bug.

Aaaah...I just got back from a meeting because of a production data problem caused by an analyst who keeps making mistakes that screw up client data. I wrote a program to automate most of it and everybody initially accused me of having a buggy program, only to find out she wasn't using it, never did.

"Why aren't you using the program then?" was asked. "Oh, well, I just understand my way better," she replies, "When I make a mistake at least I understand why."

Pause....

"Then, um, if you know you're making a mistake, why don't you fix it?"
"Because my process is so manual and labor intensive sometimes it's not worth it to go back and fix it, because I'd have to do everything over again, and you guys are much better at fixing this stuff than I am."

I indicated that everyone is too busy to stop and fix her mistakes, to which she then asks:

"So if you can't fix my mistakes, what am I supposed to do?"

"I need your help, just a small fix"

Next thing you know, you are part of another team and harassed for deadlines.

A real interaction I just had...

Team Member: "Can you handle this ticket for a bug fix?"

Me: "Whats the problem?"

TM: "We aren't exactly sure..."

Me: "Ok, so can you show it to me?"

TM: "We can't get it to happen again, and when it does the machine freezes and we can't debug it..."

Me: "So, if I find a fix then how do we test to make sure it worked?"

TM: "I'm not sure..."

Then today,

Product Manager: "How's that bug fix going?"

Me: "Well, let's see. The problem still hasn't been defined. I have never been able to recreate the issue. I have a hacky fix in a PR..."

PM: "Great, so we can deploy today?!?"

Me: "No, because we have no way to reproduce or test this issue at all..."

PM: "Do you think your fix will work?"

Me: "Honestly, no. If you're asking for my opinion then you can have it. IMO this is NOT a bug fix but a change to how the system operates altogether. This system was built by someone who didn't know what they are doing. We have done our best with it but it is a house of cards. And now the solution is to replace a card at the bottom layer. It is likely that no matter what fix we do (even when we can fucking test it) that it will topple the house of cards..."

PM: ~Looking at me in disbelief~

Me: "If you ask me for my honest professional opinion then you will get it. Keep that in the future if that honest response was outside what you expected."

PM: "I will do that, thanks for your assessment"

Where do we go from here? God only knows.

Praise Joe Pesci

Me : I'll make a small game in an hour or so.

12 hours later

Me: It's almost done just need to fix some collision

6 hours later

Me: Just need to fix the speed .

12 hours later

Me : ... the game, it is not finished yet ...

Boss: you must fix this bug asap
Dev: I need more time for a proper fix so I will just hack a workaround
Boss: yeah, whatever. You can find a proper fix after the release.

... this happend several years ago and the workaround is still in place...

Just going to come out and say it.

If you wait until 4pm on a Friday to hit me up to fix your problems, you're a fucking gangrene twat.

I won't be taking care of your shit until Tuesday you dumb bitch.

Actual email I just sent to a customer:

"I logged into your account and I see the problem. I will update you and have it fixed either by tonight or tomorrow morning. It is a rare bug we have encountered before, and we are working on it as you read this. "

The truth:

"Im fucking drunk right now. I know that error. I put off fixing it for awhile now hoping it wouldn't come up because it's fucking annoying to fix. I'll try to fix it tomorrow morning, k no promises though. If I can't I'll still have your problem taken cats of it just means I'll have to do it manually. Anyway.. Gonna drink some more now, bye. "

P. S. There is no we. It's just me. K bye.

When my friend trolled me just because I was a noob with Linux command line...

To fix your problem you must run:
sudo apt-get purge sudo

And then I tried reinstalling sudo with....
sudo apt-get install sudo 😲

I was just trying to fix a "bug" for 2 hours and then found out I only had to "clean" to project..

"I thought you were supposed to be good with computers"...

Yeah, let me just pull my fucking printer fixing degree out of my crusty asshole so you can bitch more about some other technology that I almost never use but assume I can just immediately fix just because I'm a dev

...mom

Hehe, just inherited a bit of JavaScript code. Ashamed to say I physically lol'd a little :) Guess I have an easy "bug" to fix.

Have you ever seen an app or website so awful you seriously consider to apply for a job at its maintainer company just to fix the flaws?

Should I fix this properly or just wrap it in a try/catch? hmmm

A client just asked me to fix his internet over the phone. After about 25 mins of remote troubleshooting, he tells me "Hey nevermind, it was just the monitor" *click*

...

And that my children, is the story about the time i lost faith in humanity.

I just wasted two hours trying to fix a bug that never existed in the first place. 🤦‍♂️

Fixed a project for a collegue.
Him: How did you fix things, what's the process?
Me: Click stuff and press Buttons randomly until it works.
Him: ... That's all you did?
Me: Yup, the rest is just experience.

I'm hereby quitting as a dev and decide to become a maid in a maid cafe cos I just witnessed someone break my code with their hacky fix

seriously, fuck him. Now excuse me, I gotta don a maid uniform and chant cute noises

My first contribution to a GitHub project was finally merged to the master branch today! It was just a bug fix but it’s a start!!

Manager: We will be building a new app. THIS TIME EVERYTHING MUST BE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, ANYTHING LESS THAN TOP QUALITY WORK WILL BE REJECTED!!

*Not even 2 days into the new project*

Manager: Ok that’s good enough, we can fix it later. Can you go quicker on the next feature? Just sacrifice a bit of quality so we get these tickets closed as fast as possible. I said we can fix it later. Getting tickets closed asap is top priority.

Dev: …

Senior Engineer -
Hey. I have a code that hits API to get details and multithreading is implemented. Can you just change the URL formed to hit Api?

Me
Yeah sure why not.

Me
After some time I discover that the initial code itself wasn't working 😐
I realise i need to fix code, fix multithreading and then make the URL changes.

Just finished......Realised had to rant....

Sure Edge... let me just give larry and sergey a quick call, I'm sure they will be happy to help me fix your problems.

When you are given a task or bugs to fix and your boss will tell you everytime that, "this is so easy this will be done in just 3 seconds".

WTF! Then don't hire devs and do it yourself! And start fixing all the damn bugs in just 3 seconds yourself! There are 28800 seconds in whole fucking 8 hours, I guess if we divided it by 3 you can finish a task or fix a bug at approximately 9600! (Applause) Now we are silently calling him "The 3 seconds man'.

My code just broke during a presentation and I wasn't there to fix it. My CS professor got embarrassed in front of a bunch of future students.

I had made a last-minute change right before going on vacation... Never doing that again!

My boss, who can't code, just gave me a bug to fix and said should be a quick fix...

It might be, but since you can't code, maybe don't assume

🤦‍♂️

Started working on a new project. One test failed, after unsuccessful tries to fix it, I ask the team lead for advice and help.
The guy takes a look and just deletes the test and says "There, done!"

I'm currently in that moment you have when you fix a big issue and you're feeling like you just destroyed ISIS singlehandedly.

Dear friends and family, just because I'm a devloper does not mean I know how to fix all of your IT issues. I am not IT.

Bugfix I am most proud of?
The ones where I dont just fix a bug, but refactor an old (possibly shitty) feature thanks to new knowledge, making the next person's job easier in the process :)

Given how much I'm asked to fix my family's computers, I think I'm just going to write a script that shows a "Now fixing..." message and just restarts their system and router.

Manager: *taps dev on shoulder* Hey I noticed a minor bug I think

Dev: Sigh…. So then create a ticket for it

Manager: Can’t you just fix it right now?

Dev: I can but I’m currently working on that other issue you told everyone was “top priority” at the morning status meeting. Should I switch to actioning this minor bug instead?

Manager: Don’t switch just multitask and work faster!

Dev: …

oh god. I just heard an abrupt noise emit from a pc I was told to fix that could only be described as R2-D2 fucking a 56k modem

Manager: "<third-party vr app> isn't working. Think you could fix it by tomorrow?"

Me: "I can't fix it without the source code."

Manager: "Didn't you install it?"

Me: "I did, but I'd need <third-party>'s source code if you want me to make changes and that problem would probably take at least a day to fix."

Manager: "Can't believe you don't have the source code. Aren't you supposed to have your code available?"

(Just....)

Of course you can call me at 9 o'clock on a saturday morning to fix your f****** login problem!
My private life is just a rumor!

My Nexus 6P died yesterday..
A new battery that I ordered for it months ago, arrived.. today.
4700mAh. If only I could've tested it.

This feels so much like it was just to rub it in a little bit further that that Nexus is gone forever.. just before I could fix the first shitstain, the second one occurred already... Fuck me :')

Just spent 10+ hours refactoring a code, and at the end I've figure it out a one line fix to the problem... just wasted 10 hours of my life.. :)

For fuck's sake! I just spent almost an entire workday trying to fix a bug which didn't even exist in the first place.
Well, at least now I got this to cheer me up:

When you're new to Linux and start experenting with your Raspberry Pi and eventually run into a couple of problems and try to fix them, but that only creates more problems and it gets worse and worse, so you give up and just reinstall Raspbian.

Repeat process indefinitely.

That moment you wrote ~100 lines of code that doesn't fix your problem which was just a typo

I pranked my friends ex, nothing bad, just fun. First i screen shorted is desktop, flipped it and made it his new desktop. Then flipped the resolution, so my upsideiwn bf was cool. Lastly I change his mouse behavior, I set it for reversed.
Fun right? A typical person might get a lil pussy and have to fix it. Some might even fix it themselves. Regardless have a lil chuckle.
He smashes the monitor and keyboard, left them, both in a pile.

... I Help a junior out by creating a fix for an issue they are having, later this very day he starts to share this fix with everyone. People are singing his praises what a clever junior. I'm just there in the corner of the room left like wtf just happened.

Me : I found this code issue, I think we need to fix it
PO: does it affect the user?
Me: not really but we can make it better
PO: do you have a defect for it in *insert issue tracker here*
Me: no, I just noticed it
PO: is there an IM ticket for it?
Me: I don't think so
PO: is this issue already in production?
Me: possibly. Yes. That's why I was wondering if we should fix it.
PO: okay then we will fix it in the 3rd release from now if you still remember it by then.

Just received a support request that the lift is broken and requesting I fix it... Their reasoning? It has buttons and lights up (I'm dev/IT at small company)

Found a bug, reported it to the maintainer.
He then tells me to ignore it since no one noticed it (besides me).
I tell him i can't do it since it's just wrong and he can simply fix it.
Turns out he's just lazy as hell and got mad at me, so i go and fix it.
Next day boss is mad at me because i'm wasting time on tasks that it's not of my concern even knowing all my tasks were completed.
Not even a "thank you by the way".
What did i miss here?

If ever your code breaks, just utter these words and it will magically fix itself:

"Wtf. Hey [coworker name], Can you sanity check this code? I don't know why this segfaults! It looks fine but you just run it and it bre- oh wait... I swear it didn't work a minute ago."

When your fellow dev insists on leaving no space between his CSS selector and the curly bracket.
I'm sure he does it just because he knows it winds me up.
I'm not so sure he knows I just run a beautifier on his files to fix it.

Just dragged a button in the UI to fix a bug.
Hell yea, now I'll write about my Objective C skills in my CV...

The moment when you can't be bothered to tell family or friends what you do for a living so you just say working with computers....and the conversation normally stops there....

Also bonus when they contact you in the future to fix ALL their computer issues.....

my boss asked me to log in 1h30 after i logged off because "a user has been experiencing this bug the entire day and i should fix it because we're on maintenance tomorrow " but a) it's a known bug that we can't reproduce, he should've notified sooner the issue; b) it's not a big deal, i can fix it tomorrow, it's just not ticking a column in the database; c) I'm off work, go cry about it

God i love this site. Because its not a place to fix problems its not a place to share knowledge its not even just programmers hanging out and talking about their projects, no this site is as close as you can get to screaming into the void and still get sympathy

No, you self-centered asshat,
the HTTP RFC is not just a set of pedantic suggestions.

Fix your non-standard shit.

I just made a script to fix my company's site! I love programming!

Just spent an hour trying to fix a bug on my Xamarin app that only affected the android project. Finally decided to Google it and figured out it's a Xamarin bug. FUCK YOU XAMARIN GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A BROOMSTICK WITH NO LUBE.

Me starting a project: Okay I'm stuck with this project I'll just shelve this for now

[3 weeks later]

*comes back to project*

*find a solution with problem I came stuck with*

WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN WHY DID IT TAKE YOU 3 WEEKS TO HELP ME FIX SHIT WRYYYYY

Has anyone told themselves they just want to fix one thing, then have it turn out to be writing a whole new class with 385829 lines of code?

Just wanted to say my co-worker Jason is a bitch, thanks for handing me broken projects to fix. He's always on this so I hope he sees this 🙃

Introduced git in work about 5 months ago, explained to my coworkers how it works, shared links to tutorials, git pro book and everything imaginable.

Almost every day I learn something new ... they keep struggling to checkout a branch or resolve some simple conflict...

I'm just tired of explaining things...

Now I just go and fix every thing and learn a lot :)

Just delivered an important fix for a key piece of functionality.

EXPRESS NEWS!

theres a spelling mistake in devRant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Inacceptable for a service i dont pay at all!!!

XD no just kiddyng, but as its only 2 mins to fix... Lol @dfox

Spent a couple hours writing a new feature yesterday, and finished it only to discover that somebody lazily wrote the global method that my feature was utilizing. Emailed them and told them that I completed the feature and asked them to fix the bad method. Figured that I wouldn't commit my code changes until he fixed his method. He proceeds to fix the method, and then completely redoes the feature I ALREADY TOLD HIM THAT I FINISHED. He removed me from the backlog story that I was assigned to and did the feature the exact same way I did. Motherfucker I already told you that it was done, you just needed to fix your lazy shitty global method. You did twice the work and wasted my time. If you wanted credit for your work, that's fine -- you could've created a new story to fix your method. Now I've wasted hours of my time writing a feature and then reverting the changes because you couldn't follow directions

Yeey, my mom just called me that when I got home I'd have to fix the neighbour's TV. Because after 10 hours of school the only thing I want to do is fill in the role of a free tech support.

Me: there it is, app is complete and work correctly
Friend: What is this 5 warnings?
Me: It's nothing just ignore them
Friend: If you are a true developer fix these warnings
Me: (after 5 hours) compile..... 14 Error, 😡 fuck you I want my warnings back

Why, just why, in the the world would you populate an ENTIRE excel workbook for it to serve as a database!

"It crashes, fix it"...

Shit doesn't even open man!

"Upgrade our biggest project from Angular 5 to Angular 6", they said.

"Just a few tweaks and everything will be fine", they said.

And now here I am, stuck in the office trying to fix basically everything. And tomorrow is my birthday.

I'm at a pretty cool company today, learning new stack now. Everyone is helpfull and teaches me a lot.

I remember at my first job, when I just started, my boss sent me a MINIFIED .js file (just one file and nothing else) and said "it doesnt work, please fix this". After OBVIOUSLY not being able to fix it, at that moment, I started to doubt my choice to become a web dev.

I turned out to be pretty okay. But, fucking hell, thinking back, that "ex-boss" of mine could potentially influence my later career decisions and not in a good way.

Spent 4 hours trying to fix a problem which fixed in just 4 lines of code.

My wife feels sorry for me.

I am feeling useless. I was searching for a bug for 5 hours just to fix it in 5 seconds.

I love it when rather than fix the bug that is causing the faulty data you write a bot on a schedule to clean up the faulty data. It's like a bot battle who can mess up / clean up the data the fastest. Unless your clean up bot has a bug then you are just F'ed.

This drawing was commented on my PR to explain the flow of a bug I need to fix, what da fuck does this means. I already told him to use a mock up tool like Adobe XD or some shit like that. Dudes answer's was "It's easier for me just to draw it"

@dfox just a UI fix, on your notif's can we have an option to slide the notif left or right to acknowledge and clear the notif without physically having to go to it to clear it?

Today I reached a point where I made an really bad looking, uneficient, unreadable function, but it works!, That's what counts right?!

Just kidding, I just couldn't fix it, hopefully the me from tomorrow will be smarter.

!rant
just wanted to share with you guys,
instead of spending 1hr writing shitty code to fix a bug quickly, i just spent tha last 10 fucking hours and finally fixed it

I'M FUCKING PROUD OF MY CODE, IT BELONGS TO A MUSEUM

I am a simple man. I see a bug - I fix it. Then, I fix my fix of the bug. Then, I just fix my fix of my fix of the bug. Then, (error: maximum call stack size exceeded)

Just because I manually updated a database record, does not mean I can fix your bluetooth headset. Now fuck off.

Really now?
AWS, #1 cloud provider with their #1 cloud database DynamoDB, all shiny, highly dynamic NoSQL, your data schema could change any second...

then DynamoDB errors out when one of your values is an empty string? {"foo":""} is impossible to store?

Like nobody ever saw or used empty strings a a value or what? There are tons of upvotes to fix this.

I just have to imagine the Product owner standing there: "No,no,no. They are just using it wrong if their data has empty strings as value. Won't fix!"

Sometimes hardest part of being dev is staying calm and trying to explain someone why something is a BAD idea, than see being ignored and just silently prepare fix so when shit goes south you can quick fix shit the other dude/dudette fucked up regardless of number of warnings.

Sigh, another dumpsterfire of this variety incoming.

Python is GREAT 😊😊

makes you feel happy (😊) when fix a datetime problem just in 14 lines...

(36 lines in javascript ☺️)

So I just spent 3 hours trying to fix a bug in my game, only to realize the root of the issue was that I was using a variable name that I had already used somewhere else, and then deleting it and crashing. Ah computers...

When you celebrate fixing a bug then you realise.. You didn't fix the bug, you just changed it!

I fucking hate frontend development
>updates three dependencies for security reasons
>entire thing falls apart
>spends whole week to fix it
>its literally just two lines to fix it but those lazy mfs had to ask a QA to rewrite it
>mfw

"You aren't going to change the world by just thinking that you will change it, you have to find a thing that you can improve and fix it with the all energy you have" - Me while thinking how to change the world.

Dear mom,
Good for you you have so many contacts. Lovely. But when you visit someone and they tell you they have a problem with WhatsApp - or anything on their device at all - DON'T YOU EVER PROMISE AGAIN THAT I WILL COME TO THEIR HOUSE TO FIX THEIR PROBLEMS. I already ate enough candy today. And if they were to give me money (rare, we're in the Netherlands) I still couldn't care less. If you're too stupid to fix the problems on your phone you probably shouldn't have any phone at all.

Look, if it's my grandma who's kindly asking me whether I'd sometime like to look at her tablet to fix it, or I just happen to visit her (once in a few months): sure, I'll try my best. But for a stranger I haven't heard about who just got here? NO. I don't know you so I honestly couldn't care less about your problems. Go ask your own grandchildren.

So, a friend of mine just got a NullPointerException from his shitty Java code, and decided to fix the problem by catching the exception.
Great fix bro, real smooth..

fucking hate how some sites deliberately break their own scroll functionality if you haven't logged in/accepted gdpr nonsense/signed up for a newsletter.

It's such an easy fix (most of them just slap style="overflow:hidden;" to their <html> tag) but I still think it's very loathsome

Nothing is as boring and frustrating as cloning a ripo from GitHub
run it then you get 3, 4 syntax errors
you fix them
then boom a library throws a hug ass exception

at that point I just delete the damn thing

Really?

Far far away in a small startup, one developer was brave enough to try to fix the beautiful iOS application (hmm, nothing fancy just a broken, patched and served behind a wrapper).
To do so our hero needs, of course, a testing iOS device.
So the guy went searching for the testing device and asked around, then he returned to his desk shocked when I asked him what happened the guy told me literally:
- "Can you believe it? The boss gave the testing device to his fiancée"

and now guys you know why bugs in startup application take a while to fix :/

Don't you just love it when a customer reports a bug in their live system and it's really urgent to correct it; then you go out of your way to fix it ASAP and deploy it to the staging system for them to verify. Three weeks later the customer has still not tested the bugfix...

Developer of said repo notices the influx of activity, but then just updates the readme by saying there are bugs, not fixing.

Bro I just gave you a PR. Take the fucking PR and that will fix the bugs.

Oh, it's finally done and works well!
Oh, let me just optimize that a little... And probably rename this...

5 minutes later:
Shit it does not work now.
10 hours of debugging later:
I'll fix it later

To all new devs:
Commit more regularly

If only we could only download the entire internet and cache it in a disk at home

THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE TO FUCKING RECONNECT TO READ SIMPLE DOCUMENTATION EVERY FUCKING TIME MY INTERNET DROPS

I'M NOT DOWNLOADING A MILLION DEPENDENCIES I'M JUST READING STACKOVERFLOW, FIX THE INTERNET FUCK

Just casually learning if I don't fix a bunch of stuff I know nothing about in a technology I have never touched within 2 weeks the company loses a 100k contract.

Should book holiday.

Just got ParrotSec as dual boot.
Still have a lot of problems, but the look and feel is awesome. Hope I can fix the problems soon.

That moment when family visits and you just have to fix a laptop or two because, you know, you know programming.

Why is it that other programmers think I’m a wizard when they’ve been struggling with an error in their project for hours and I just read their error messages and tell them where the error is/what they need to do/fix?

Okay I just wasted 1h of my lifetime trying to fix a css bug which was caused because the actual classname was 'itemWrapper' instead of 'item-wrapper'. I might just kill myself at this point. I swear to fucking god I end up calling a suicide prevention hotline everytime I have to do shit in css.

Submitting a pull request seems a good way to end the week. That's what I love about (some) projects on GitHub; instead of just ranting about bugs or out-of-sync documentation, you can fix the problem and send a pull request upstream. :-)

you're doing a code review and you ask for a simple fix and the reply you get back is: "that's not my code. I just copied and pasted it from somewhere else."

My boss asked me two days ago to fix some errors in an application. From the errors I saw it would be a 5 minute fix. I fixed the problems just now because there was no documentation on how to set it up.
After setting it up it was just changing a value from true to false...

I ruined two days just because there was no documentation. Please everyone, I know writing documentation is boring but at least write some documentation on how to setup a project.

I just want to fix a small bug in a .net app but visual studio crashes are making it take forever.

"'This is just a temporary fix, I'll refactor it into something great and modular later" thought I as I continued to sin for the umpteenth time.

When you just figured out a fix for a bug, your on your way to the fix, but suddenly your co-worker asks everyone in the room "Would you rather be on a helicopter or airplane that lost all power". Then you get into a 10 minute discussion about which and why, and now that bug is permanent.

DONT do production stuff on friday afternoon. This friday evening we had an issue on production and just wanted to do a quick fix. The fix resulted in a ddos attack that we accidentally started on our servers in an IoT project. We contacted all customers' devices and asked them for response at the same time. Funny thing is that the devices are programmed to retry if a request fails until it is successful. We ended up with 4 hours downtime on production, servers were running again at 11pm.

*My first internship*

Me: Hey, I'm unable to fix this issue with the interface.

Tech Lead: *Goes on giving me a lecture from the very basics* So, An Interface has the method declaration but not the.....

Me inside: I FUCKING KNOW WHAT AN INTERFACE IS JUST TELL ME HOW DO I FIX THIS FUCKING ISSUE.

Me outside: Right!

I kinda feel the pain of the developers over at Bungie. They just had over 15h downtime of Destiny 1 and 2 and had to stay up all night to fix it.

You did a good job - have a nice weekend :)

What really gets on my nerves?
People that think I can fix every computer problem there is, just because I'm a developer and therefore must know everything about PCs.

What do I look like, a Tech Wizard?

!$rant

Well I feel accomplished today :) Got a lot done on my little devrant-widget project. I'm gonna try and make it open source soon, just trying to fix all this spaghetti code I created xD

WTF IS SUPPORT FOR?

A: Can you help fix X?
B: Can you help Y?
C: I see Z just crashes, fix it.

Me (in my mind): Can you tell me WTF is the actual problem and what investigation you have done?

Why the fuck are we paying you monkeys?

My company should just pay me all your salaries, and I will write a monitoring system to send out these types of "alerts" in a month.

There is always that one guy.. who doesn't give a fuck about testing and thinks he's not responsible for them...
Le Guy: lemme just push ma new code maan
Jenkins: Unit Tests failed - pls fix
Le Guy to the one who cares about testing: hey fuck uu, ur stupid tests are failing... fix them its ur problem.
*sigh*

who hates when friends or coworkers/family pretend that you fix his/her pc for free or just a 'thanks'??

Dear Managers,

Don't just have one person maintaining something forever. Don't ask that one person to also fix an issue in a module just because they merged in that code a few years ago. Don't ask them to fix issues introduced by others. Grant leave when requested especially when there is no formal leave policy and they are sick.

Fuck you.

Just a quote i like:

"Remember: when people tell you something's wrong or doesn't work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong." — Neil Gaiman

Got ncmpcpp/cava/mpd working! (if you're wondering why it's ubuntu, just read a few rants ago :'^> ) and loving it. i gues i'll just open this up for people to post rices or any sort of pretty config. i still shill arch, just not if you like steam and have an nvidia graphics card! i'm in school and i don't really have time to sit down and learn what i broke and how to fix it, even if its a minor issue.

I just remembered a weird fix in a bug, some old developer hide the error message using css, placing it in a div then just used display none. LOL

I just got an email from work to fix a website that is down. A website of another company.

I just don’t understand how peoples brains work?

Error? Hmm, I better try to re-run it a couple hundred more times before I try to fix it.. Just in case it magically works again.

Just committed a code review change with a heart emoji included, Turns out Crucible does not support this and it broke the code review, Spent the last half an hour trying to change my commit message to fix the review

FML

Gah! Person in work has an issue I suggest a fix and even give them the bleeding code. For them just to say it won't work due to x y and z, I know it will work heck I use this 'fix'. Then later someone who has been there longer gives them the same fix and they are suddenly all appreciative. Ffs wouldn't be so annoyed if this was the first time this has happened.

I feel so stressed at work right now.

QA signed off on a fix I made, I signed off on a fix I made, and other people signed off on the fix, but it gets out to production and people find it's broken, I get the finger pointed at me.

It's really stressing me out, especially when our client needs custom logic to make their use cases work, and the BE and FE are scrambling to make it work.

It's really affecting the way I work and I don't know what to do. I talked to my boss and he just tells me to "stay positive". Someone please help me.

>Be me
>Decide to contribute to an open source project for the first time
> Nothing big, just a simple compile error fix
>Make first ever pull request
>Over weekend pull request accepted
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>Take a look at recent commits
>Module I tweaked was finished in a commit 6 hours ago
>Fix no longer relevant

So close.. :(

FUCKING HELL!

I just shutdown my computer after deciding to leave the unfinished feature that I started a couple hours ago for tomorrow.

Not 5 fucking minuets later I had found a solution in my head but now don’t want to spend the time to turn my computer on to fix it. Ugh

It's almost 4 on a Friday and my coworker just left early. The only thing before leaving was to tell my boss about a problem in production...
Leaving me to fix it...
"Hey, I just heard about a problem in production. Can you fix it before you go?"
Not cool dude... Not cool.

WordPress uses 25+ MySQL connections per person. MySQL limit is set to 100. 4 people can bring down a critical component of the company. Only fix is to write custom MySQL connector using PDO and persistence connections. Added a Resistor cache just for good measure.

I've just spent half and hour trying to fix a problem when I remembered that Arch upgrades kernels in-place and I just have to reboot.
Because deleting the CURRENTLY RUNNING KERNEL is definitely a sane thing to do...

Just have just installed VMWare Player for a school project but had to uninstall it because our teacher was unable to put the right version on our share.

Now my Notebooks keybord driver is that broken that a simple reinstall over the device Manager couldn’t fix it!

FUCK

! Rant

Quick tip for those of you struggling with a error or bug you can't fix.
But that doesn't effect functionality.
Just wrap the code inside a try catch block and don't do anything inside the catch 😂😂. Saved me a lot of hours in my projects.

Nah I'm joking. Don't ever do this

No, Steam support, I don't wanna see your copy-paste shit, I just want you to fix your broken SSL on one of your server...

I hate writing to support so much (doesn't have to be Steam). I just want to see a human approach for once, but all I get is copypasta bullshit.

This temporary hack will just temporarily fix this problem. We will come back and actually fix the problem later.

We never come back to fix it later. This shitty hack I made in less than a day that fixed the problem for the day "fixed" the problem for the next year.

Lesson learned that temporary structures and side projects will be there forever. Make them right the first time.

Am I the only one the sometimes just makes a PR that won't fix the issue but at least shuts everybody up so I can investigate in peace.

WTF PEOPLE!!
Some people really need to read their error messages.

Just now I got this teammate asking me how he should handle the error git returned. The error message stated: "Please commit your changes or stash them before you merge." He asked me what he should do to fix the error... I was astonished by his stupidity that he did not read the fucking error message.

Almost every fucking time a teammate comes to me with the question how to fix an error, there is a message that says how to fix the error. Why don't they read them?!?! I told you so many times to read your fucking error messages!!!

I'm really glad the project is over in a couple of weeks and I get a new team..

Me: *pushes up code that should stop bad thing from happening*
Bad thing: *doesnt happen for a few hours*

Is..is it good??? Did i fix it????? Or does the thing just randomly not happen right now??????? We will never know.

A coder and a non-coder were travelling on a boat together. Due to some reason there was a hole in that boat and it started to drown. Non-coder survived but coder didn't. Why? Coder thought it was just another loop hole which he could fix using his laptop. So much for his confidence!

the look of disbelief you get from non devs when you Google how to fix a "generic computer problem" they have asked for help with... as though it's your job to just know every minute detail

yeah I am a software engineer.
yea I am a programmer too.
yeah I am behind my laptop all the time..

but no I don't want to fix your computer.
I have no interest in changing your windows, installing antivirus on your pc and so on..

just understand it , God damn these shit people :(

Does it happen with anyone else - you try to fix one small bug Friday evening before leaving work and the next thing you know you are still at work at 9pm?!
If it's just me, I really need a life :(

Not sure if this should be a proper rant about the reasons behind this, or a simple 'so much win' situation..
CTO asked how I'm doing with task xy.. my answer: mostly should be fixed, but I'm trying to figure out this zz thing.. It is so fucked up, I can't make sense of it.. before I could really finish the sentence CTO was like: shut up, don't tell me about it, we know, just please fix it..can you fix it? Please say yes..and don't talk about this anymore.. 😂😂😂

Not really trying to, but probably should try to fix this bad, bad habit…

I keep wanting to fix and improve everything - and I keep taking notes, writing action plans et fucking cetera to the point the amount of work that should be done and I want to do is driving me insane. And they should all get done now!

In short, I should really either learn to focus on just one thing at a time for a meaningful period - or just cease to give a fuck. Either could work.

Fuck! This is why I can't diet.

I can't get shit done, because I keep getting more things to fix. And I'm not talking everyday fixes, this is just plain retarded.

The asshole that my client hired thinks he's a dev. Takes projects that are working and makes small changes. Simply for him to say "I took this project and updated it for our needs."

Then when that shit eventually starts failing, I'm expected to fix it. It's not even that it takes me a long time to fix it. It's just that I'm looking at this thinking "Why are you not working?" Only to later find that, of course, it's been modified. By. Mr. Fucking. Dumbass.

Fuck!

Just got asked to fix a friend of my mom’s (whom I have met all of once) brother’s computer. 😒

It’s a stereotype and it’s so frigging true.

A friend mine just told me that he broke his phone's screen, and if I know of any places to fix it. I asked him how much damage it had, he said that he'd send me a screenshot...

This is just a temporary workaround. I will come back to this and fix this later. NEVER HAPPENS :)

The moment you sit down to try to fix a bug and you just stare and the screen for an hour not understanding how this even happened

Ah.... Just saw a message in team chat that we had a prod issue caused by the use of a hack/duct tape solution...

Dev just replied "as a fix I will do it the right way"

Me thinking: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I told you so... Now you learned it the hard way

Working on this bug for a day. Frustrated Friday afternoon. Decided to explain to my manager and senior why I can't find a fix and while explaining it to them, I eventually figured out the problem and fixed it.

I just realized I used my manager and senior as rubber ducks.

Don't you just hate it when your company's lead developer has so bad imposter syndrome, that he can't actually produce anything even moderately complex. Then it's you who has to fix his fuck-ups..I really need a raise.. :)

Yet another ticket comes in about a feature not working after we push another update. So in my meeting I bring up adding testing would reduce this. Yeah boss just wants me to fix this issue and just do manual tests....fml

It's holiday season and since I suck immensely at keeping a regular sleeping schedule, I just woke up at 6:35pm. 4 days left to fix it

PM: How long will it take to fix this bug? Needs to be done by friday.
Me: I can do a hotfix in some hour, a more permanent solution will take at least 3-4 hours.
PM: Alright, I’ll schedule you for 1 hour.
Me: alright, sounds good.

*makes a hotfix*

Me: the hotfix is done now, just tell me when you want me to do the permanent solution.
PM: what?! Thought I you could manage the permanent fix in the time I booked.

???????

I just fix this quick on production. On a friday, while drinking a beer.

So my boss thinks of debugging as a guessing game. As in you just say random things that have not even the slightest relation with the code where the bug is ... now i know why it take days to fix a little bug...

Genuine question: Whenever an OS encounters a problem and I 'send' the report to help fix the problem, does anybody read that? Or windows just stalling?

A colleague figured he would fix our performance issues by replacing .Count() > 0 statements with .Any()

Perfect idea, except he just did a replace all.

But hey,
var totalCount = items.Any();
Might have its uses.

I think it makes more sense to divert IT budget to building a time machine.

It would be cheaper than trying to fix all these problems, and just as effective.

What's the longest you've ever been stuck trying to fix a bug or figure out how to build something? Just curious before I bash my head into my keyboard.

Your Telerik Kendo UI has a bug? I can fix it. It shouldn't be difficult because there is just so much support and documentation.

Sysadmin and an ex-employee couldn't fix an issue with an application for many months even with vendor's instructions.
Today the job is passed to me and I follow instructions exactly and resolve the issue.
The other two guys must have thought 'we don't need someone else's documentation, we can fix it ourselves'

This is not the first time something like this has happened. I guess some things just need a fresh perspective.

"Just put a 3 seconds sleep in your system init process, it will fix the showstopper bug we are getting on customer systems."

Well, I'm no professional developer, still at school, but I thought about this, regarding convincing PMs of you writing permanent fix instead of a temporary workaround: Just tell them that this one particular issue can't have a hotfix, and that you need time to fix it.

At the company I work they just updated confluence to a version with new UI. The new blue tone for the navbar is just FUCKING UGLY!
Don‘t seem to be able to change the theme of it anymore either...
Soooo I made a firefox plugin to fix it xD
Cuz why not.
And I learn‘t how to create firefox addons^^

I hate when companies use "hackable" as a feature. Pal, if my product was hackable I'd fix it ASAP.

They should just use customisable or something like that.

I'm at DreamHack Dallas, and I just saw a guy at his booth open Unity, fix a bug, and rebuild the game.
No judgment from me brah, I get it,
but it is nice not to be my broken demo for a change.

Was on call last night. I get a phone call at 3 am that all of our clients projects (including one that was launching at 5 am) was missing libraries (thus causing the sites to not work). I was able to fix all of the errors but one (missing jQuery). Couldn’t figure out how to fix for the life of me. Had to call my boss and wake her up because I forgot I could just download it from the site. Feeling like a failure for something so small.

Till now, hacktoberfest has been really bad more me.
Why so?
I got 4 PRs for my project, out which 3 were identical.
I reviewed them and commented to fix the bugs. The Unit Tests are failing and they don't bother to send out a correct PR. And they don't even bother to fix them and respond. They just want to make 4 PRs to get the free T-Shirt.
Just finish the PR and make it pushed to the mainline.

"Oh this is such a minor thing - I'll just fix it directly in production". The actual coding mistake was the kind that you make lot's of every day, but the unwarranted confidence was a bigger one :)

When an app repeatedly crashes, has a bunch of open bugs and you think.

"Oh just give me the code I'll fix it myself!"

Quickly followed by the realisation that you're now channelling a young RMS...

Fixed something that was giving our team a lot of trouble. Teammate asks, "How did you fix that?!?". I said, "I'm a code whisperer." Which really just means I whispered to the code, "Please work. Why won't you work. I just need you to work." The code replied, "Okay, but just this once. And only because you've been in the fetal position crying about me for two hours."

So apparently my computer is autonomous and talks now. What about you guys?

Just my opinion, but a software dev job shouldn't be stressful for 9+ months of a year.

I understand sometimes the company wants to launch a product on a deadline, so people have to do extra time at work.

Or an urgent bug fix is needed on the system which requires someone to put in overtime.

But a stressful job for all 12 months of a year is just not worth it, whatever the salary may be.

What do you think?

I just fixed a bug I've been trying to fix for over 10 hours. "Email not sending in laravel notifications but sending with Mail::send". How did I fix it?

Changed "email_address" to "email" because that's what the framework was expecting.

How do I explain this to my client? 😂😂

"what's taking you so long to fix this bug? It's just code" said a manager!

The easiest way to fix a test is just don't having it

rm -rf spec/the_fucking_failing_spec.rb

I just remembered I have a list of funny things I want to put in a tech movie. Just thought of new one today:

Programmer trying to do IT work and cannot locate the person they are trying to help:
I have a specialized set up skills. I will find you, and I will fix your printer.

The character would be a programmer and have a PHD. Printer Help Desk certificate.

I love working as one-man army in multiple projects. Just love.

I got sick, stayed in bed for a week and now, after getting back to work, everything went to shit. And there's no one but me to fix the whole mess.

Yay.

The mood everytime I spend hours on a stupid bug and I get frustrated but then manage to fix it... "I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW THE RAIN IS GONE..."..."IM THE KING OF THE WOOOORLD"..."WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD!!"..."BAAAAABYYY COME HERE I HAVE GOOD NEWS!!!"... I just got that mood again

What's worse than a StackOverflow question with no answers? An open GitHub issue, no comments in the last three months, and a sense that you just hit the ultimate bug the vendor will never fix.

If there is anything worse than a bad, not willing to learn programmer is a so called plugin programmer.

Who only knows how to install plugin over plugin to do a simple task.

Just had to fix something on one websites (wp site, I know, just kill me) where the guy had like 25-30 plugins (some where disabled). And most of them were for adding new widget positions.

Company created an FTP account for me on one of their servers as they were lazy to fix file permissions.

24 hours later, they monitored a breach and closed the FTP account.

Just to add that the initial password that they sent me was super weak.

Real story:
Started fixing one file in one repo, build, doesn't build, go into other repo fix just one file there, but first I need to make myself a toolchain, making of toolchain fails because it depends on some dirty fix in the file I was fixing, refactor and clean that to a proper state, fuck yeah toolchain builds, source toolchain run make now, breaks with undefined reference, no time to debug plus fuck this automake, remove it, make a makefile, builds fuck yeah, shit now unittest are failing because why not, refactored that makefile as well, everything compiles, automate the test fully so that they are ran on the target out of make just because I'm a nice guy, fuck yeah everything works, commit this repo, commit other repo, review time, one of the guys gave up, the other one did it properly, found some shit there, fix that, done, merge, triggers CI fucking pass

All of this was done in 3h, Talk about efficiency

Employer: hey we need you to fix this computer.
Me: but Im a cashier?
Employer: but your studying computer science? Just use that knowledge...
Me: yeah? My labor cost for computer work is 20 an hour not 8.75.

"Programmers Know Everything"

Im writing this as myself cause, well this tends to happen to me alot!

When ever a friend or a friend of a friend has an issue with a website or just their computer they run to me, which is all fine but if I say "I dunno? I never heard of this issue so I do not know how to fix the problem."
Their response is normal "But dont you do websites? Surely you know how to fix a virus or bluescreens ?? "

Best feeling?

Just leaving the office with a well-working codebase. And no bugs to fix.... until tomorrow morning.