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The programmer and the interns part 2.
We will discuss numerous events that happened over the past week or so.
Case 0:
We had our weekly engineering meeting. The interns were invited as well.
We hold meetings in the generic, big, corporate meeting rooms with a huge table in the middle.
There were more than enough chairs for everyone yet the most motivated and awkward intern (let's call him Simon) chose to stand, cause "it's cool man, I always stand". At this point we all know that he probably read about Agile stand up meetings and is confusing it with this one. Otherwise he's simply trying to stand out from the rest. (See what I did there?)
Anyway the meeting has started way later than planned (what a surprise) and took much longer than Simon expected. Everybody is sitting and listening to the CTO while occasionally glancing at the weird looking intern standing awkwardly and refusing to sit because it would make his original intentions pointless. He even tried to nod whith a serious face and his hands crossed when the CTO said something and looked at his general direction. The meeting was about a hour and a half long but with the delay it was at least 2.5 hours.
At the end Simon was so exhausted that he fell asleep on the office puff, was forgotten and locked inside. 3 hours later when I was home I received a call from him with his sleepy-trying-to-sound-awake voice telling the news. Lucky there's a 24/7 Noc team that could rescue him.
Case 1:
An intern who was late on his Linux test connected to every test VM (should I remind you that each one has a personal VM but they share passwords for their roots?) and tried to reset it with "sleep 10s; shutdown -h now".
He took down all 13 of those so I had to turn them on and switch passwords again.
Case 2:
One of the interns didn't do any of his training chores. Apparently he forgot what he was told to use, ignored all online documentation and used Windows CMD with Linux commands for almost a week already.
Case 3:
Simon uses Vim to write all text possible. Even mails, he then selects all and copies into the mail body. He spent half a day on a homework task I gave them. He wrote everything inside one text file using Vim. When he was done he saved the file and quit the editor. He then said "Oh shit! I've forgot to sign my name!". I explicitly told him that theres absolutely no need for that because I see which mail the file was sent from. He said "I don't even need a program for that!" and gave a couple of strokes on the keyboard.
Later I received an email from him with a .txt attachment. When I opened it the only text that was inside was "by Simon ;)".
I logged to his machine and checked the last command ran on the file:
echo "by Simon ;)" > linuxtasks.txt
Case 4:
The girl here uses a MacBook. She keeps getting confused with the terminal windows and rebooting her own machine instead of the remote VM.
Case 5:
Haven't checked yet how this happened but one of the interns deleted the gui from his local Centos.33 -
Rant
Why do shithead clients think they can walk away without paying us once we deliver the project !!!
So, here goes nothing..
Got an online gig to create a dashboard.
Since i had to deal with a lot of shitheads in the past, I told them my rules were simple, 20% advance, 40% on 50% completion and 40% after i complete and send them proof of completion. Once i receive the payment in full, only then i will hand over the code.
They said it was fine and paid 20%.
I got the next 40% also without any effort but they said they also needed me to deploy the code on their AWS account, and they were ready to pay extra for it, so i agreed.
I complete the whole project and sent them the screenshots, asking for the remaining 40% payment. They rejected the request saying my work was not complete as i had not deployed on AWS yet. After a couple of more such exchanges, i agreed to setup their account before the payment. But i could sense something fishy, so i did everything on their AWS account, except registered the domain from my account and set up everything. Once i inform them that its done and ask for the remaining payment.
The reply i got was LOL.
I tried to login to the AWS account, only to find password had been changed.
Database access revoked.
Even my admin account on the app had been removed. Thinking that they have been successful, they even published ads about thier NEW dashboard to their customers.
I sent them a final mail with warning ending with a middle finger emoji. 24 hours later,
I created a github page with the text " This website has been siezed by the government as the owner is found accused in fraud" and redirected the domain to it. Got an apology mail from them 2 hours later begging me to restore the website. i asked for an extra 10% penalty apart from the remaining payment. After i got paid, set an auto-reply of LOL to thier emails and chilled for a week before restoring the domain back to normal.
Dev : 1
Shithead Client: 024 -
The programmer and the interns part 3.
Many of you asked me to keep posting about the interns that I'm responsible for.
I had the intention but never had the time or the energy. Since the interns only kept doing stupid, unthinkable things and just filtering out the good ones is a task of its own.
Time has passed, some interns left us by their choice, others were fired (for obvious reasons). Some stayed loyal and were given permanent positions. New ones joined. I no longer am directly responsible for their wellbeing, yet, somehow I am still their tech-lead and the developer of their tools.
Without further delay,
Case 0:
New guy get's into the internship, has his LinkedIn title set to ‘HTML Technician’.
Didn’t know about the existence of HTML5.
Been building static web pages in the early 2000s. The kind with embedded, inline CSS.
Claims that he is about to finish an engineering degree (sadly I believe him).
Fails the entry level Linux test. Complains about the similarity of the answer options.
Fails the basic web-standars test because "they change so fast, but the foundation is HTML and it's rock-solid!".
Get's caught taking home onions and milk from the kitchen.
Is spotted eating in a restaurant under our offices in his day off. Thrice. He lives a 30 minute drive away and comes here on a bicycle or by bus.
Apparently didn't know that the scrolling wheel on the mouse is clickable.
Said that his PC experience is mostly from his PlayStation (PC = PlayCtation apparently).
Get's fired, says that he'll go to the press. Never does.
Case 1:
Yet another new intern. He seems very eager to learn and work, capable, even charismatic. Has an impressive CV.
Does nothing.
Learns from the "case 0" guy and spends time with him until he is fired.
Comes to work at 8:00 AM and immediately goes to sleep on an office puff. In front of everyone.
Keeps dining alone, without a notice, at different times, for hours. Sometimes brings food into the office and loudly eats it there.
On his evening shifts keeps disappearing for long periods of time. Apparently drinking in the nearby bars and hitting on girls.
Keeps bragging about his success with getting their numbers and rants about those who reject him.
For over a year he fails his final training test and remains a trainee, without the ability to work on a real case.
Not fired yet.
Case 2:
Company retreat. Beautiful, exotic views, warm sun beams, all inclusive package for everyone on a huge half-island.
Simon (he's still with us, now as a true engineer!) brings his MacBook to the beach in order to work and impress all others.
Everybody get's drunk and start throwing huge inflatable balls at each other. One hits his laptop and it immediately is flattened.
Upset Simon is going in circles and ranting about the situation, looking for a solution.
Loses his phone on the beach.
Takes his broken laptop with him while searching for the phone.
Dips the laptop in the river while drunkenly ducking in order to pick a clam.
Case 3:
Still company retreat.
Drunk intern makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Huge verbal fight. The husband says that he files for a divorce. Intern get's fired.
Case 4:
Still company retreat.
Three interns each take an inflatable swimming mattress and drift with the current. Get found on the other side of the resort three hours later, with red skin and severely dehydrated.
Case 5:
Still company retreat.
The 'informally fired' intern gets drunk again, climbs through a window into a room and makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Again, gets caught when the husband returns to find a locked door but can see them though the window.
Case 6:
Still company retreat.
We all get ferociously drunk and wander off to the unknown in search of more booze.
Everybody does something stupid and somebody finds Simon's phone.
Simon is lost.
Frenzied horde of drunks is roaming the half-island in search of ethanol and the lost comrade.
Simon's phone get's permanently lost.
Five people step on sea urchins but find that out only hours later and then are unable to walk.
The mob, now including more drunk people who joined voluntarily, finds the sexually active intern making out with the enraged employee's wife yet again.
Surprisingly Simon is found sleeping in a room nearby.23 -
This week I quit the corporate life in favour of a much smaller company (60 people in total) and i never felt so good.
After 3 years in 2 big corporations, I began to hate coding mainly because of:
- internal political games. It's like living inside House of Cards everyday.
- management and non-tech people choosing tech stacks. Angular 4 + Bootstrap 4 alpha version + AG-Grid + IE11. Ohhh yeah. Not.
- overtime (even if it was paid double). I never did a single minute of OT for fixing something that I caused. I spent days fixing things caused by others and implementing promises that other people made.
- meetings. I spend 50-60% of the time in pointless meetings (I tracked them in certain time intervals) but the workload is same like I was working 8 hours / day.
- working in encapsulated environments without access to internet or with limited access to internet (no GitHub, no StackOverflow etc.)
- continuously changing work scope. Everyday the management wants something new introduced in the current sprint/release and nobody accepts that they have to remove other things from the scope in order to proper implement everything.
- designers that think they are working for Apple and are arguing with things like "but it's just a button! why does it take 2 days to implement?"
- 20 apps installed additionally on my phone (Citrix Receiver, RSA Token, Mobile@Work Suite etc.) just to be able to read my email
- working with outdated IDEs and tools because they have to approve every new version of a software.
- making tickets for anything. Do you want a glass of water? Open a ticket and ask for it.
- KPIs. KPIs everywhere. You don't deserve anything because the KPIs were not accomplished.
The bad part of the above things is that they affect your day-to-day personality even if you don't see it. You become more like a rock with almost 0 feelings and interests.
This is my first written "rant". If anyone is interested, I will post different situations that will explain a lot of the above aspects.13 -
This facts are killing me
"During his own Google interview, Jeff Dean was asked the implications if P=NP were true. He said, "P = 0 or N = 1." Then, before the interviewer had even finished laughing, Jeff examined Google’s public certificate and wrote the private key on the whiteboard."
"Compilers don't warn Jeff Dean. Jeff Dean warns compilers."
"gcc -O4 emails your code to Jeff Dean for a rewrite."
"When Jeff Dean sends an ethernet frame there are no collisions because the competing frames retreat back up into the buffer memory on their source nic."
"When Jeff Dean has an ergonomic evaluation, it is for the protection of his keyboard."
"When Jeff Dean designs software, he first codes the binary and then writes the source as documentation."
"When Jeff has trouble sleeping, he Mapreduces sheep."
"When Jeff Dean listens to mp3s, he just cats them to /dev/dsp and does the decoding in his head."
"Google search went down for a few hours in 2002, and Jeff Dean started handling queries by hand. Search Quality doubled."
"One day Jeff Dean grabbed his Etch-a-Sketch instead of his laptop on his way out the door. On his way back home to get his real laptop, he programmed the Etch-a-Sketch to play Tetris."
"Jeff Dean once shifted a bit so hard, it ended up on another computer. "6 -
Hello Monday:
0.Arrive late due to traffic.(Apparently a car hit a cow crossing the road)
1. Try upgrading php5 to php7 and break stuff in the process and waste 2 hours fixing things.(Poor connection so ssh sessions hung occasionally)
2.PHP fixed,open Gmail and get over 100 emails from clients about the server being down(because of (0)).Ignore all.Find a snaglist of over 20 TODOs.
3.Open Android Studio, update to 2.3 and everything becomes broken.Each time i open it ,it crashes and i have to "Report to Google"
4.Spend the next 1 hour reinstalling AS.It finally works.
5.Open Project and the libraries are broken.Spend another hour upgrading build tools.
6.Leave SDK to update and decide to check my Google Cloud console.$50 bill pending.Shit.
7.Try XCode. Remember the project is still in Swift 2 and I have to upgrade it(Would take eternity).Immediately closes xcode.
8.Gives up on life and decides to log into Devrant.4 -
sudo apt-get random-tool
Traceback (most recent call last):
Aborting because there's a fork in the spoon compartment on line 43 in main
Error this script only works on Python 2.7 and maybe 4.1 on line 59 in main
Missing symbols when trying to decipher Sumerian recipe for steamed vegetables on line 67 in main
Cannot open shared object: Your OS is a bully and is hiding my files on line 98 in main
Are you sure all directories matching ^(/)?([^/\0]+(/)?)+$ are in your $PATH on line 268 in main
Your computer is kind of vibrating in an annoying way on line 332 in main
Failing because I'm feeling insecure please hold me on line 587 in main
I'm feeling confused about my sentience when running TensorFlow models on line 682 in main
FUCK
HAS ANYONE EVER MANAGED TO JUST FUCKING INSTALL A PYTHON BASED APPLICATION WITHOUT DEBUGGING RANDOM COMPUTER STATE SHIT AND DEPENDENCIES FOR THREE HOURS?15 -
Imagine yourself exploring Medium, looking for some new awesome tools to try out.
You accidentally find the new, promising programming language. It called Blow. It promises itself to be “idiomatic”, “minimalistic”, “simple” and “handsome”. And it also compiles to Electron. You decide to give it a try.
It has its own package manager, simple and idiomatic – every package is “blow add” away. But it’s only three packages available: the “blowsay”, just like “cowsay”, the “this”, printing The Blow Manifesto and “blue”, which is simplistic, simple and minimalistic idiomatic handsome functional frontend framework built with simplicity in mind.
You want to build a todo app, so you type “blow add blue” and press enter.
Following Medium articles written by some guy wearing Ray-Bans, you managed to finally put a todo app together, after seven hours of straight up coding and fighting that simple and idiomatic syntax, trying to make it do what you need. Alright, it’s time to build it.
It has built-in task runner named “job”.
So you type “blow job todo”.
You spending three hours more doing “blow job this”, “blow job that”, trying to blow job everything you see. You’re tired and mad at those damn blow job hipsters created that. You literally suck at programming in that.
Everything falls apart. Things doesn’t work. And after another “ENOENT 0() 0x628 NOT_SUPPORTED”, you give up, admitting that you’ve really sucked at this.6 -
Spent about two hours writing basic programming tutorials and putting them online three days ago.
*looks at site*
Total visitors: 0
Well, that was a huge waste of time.15 -
I'm unbelievably angry. So please bear with my venting.
QA guy and I are stuck working the entire weekend. A few months ago our company decided to promote an account manager to a Product/Project management role with 0 experience and offering them 0 training. They have no experience working with devs and have been making our lives hell. I work easily 50-60hrs per week and they still budget projects according to 40hrs/week meaning they're stealing my time not to mention they're incorrectly setting the client's and company's expectations.
They now have complete control over roadmaps, client communications (this wouldn't normally be bad except that they're having technical discussions with the client with 0 tech experience), timelines, etc. and since their experience was in account management they are now working with devs but making decisions that exclusively put the client first at all costs, even if it means everyone else has to work weekends while they go on vacation!!!!
I've approached them several times to offer help on budgeting time or to propose that we do a Q4 planning so that we can improve the product instead of stay in a shitty position as we are. I'm responded with "You deal with what's in front of you. It's my job to look at the bigger picture."
They mismanaged a $500,000 project and our CEO got wind of it because the client called him while he was travelling. He in turn gave shit to our Directors who in turn chewed the QA guy and I out. "You need to be more meticulous when deploying. How could you let this happen? We're eating shit because of this. You need to work over the weekend to make up for this", etc.
I'm now directly responsible for having delivered something that wasn't up to standards even though I was already putting in the overtime.
This is honestly fucking ridiculous. How can I be blamed when I'm truly doing the best I can and putting as many hours as I can while edging toward burnout.
I love what I do but I hate feeling extremely pressured to turn down friends and family like this. Maybe I'm just too easy going and need to say no more. Who fucking knows. I know that I'm angry with the company right now.
What do you all think? If you read this rant, thank you. Feels better to write it out.12 -
POSTMORTEM
"4096 bit ~ 96 hours is what he said.
IDK why, but when he took the challenge, he posted that it'd take 36 hours"
As @cbsa wrote, and nitwhiz wrote "but the statement was that op's i3 did it in 11 hours. So there must be a result already, which can be verified?"
I added time because I was in the middle of a port involving ArbFloat so I could get arbitrary precision. I had a crude desmos graph doing projections on what I'd already factored in order to get an idea of how long it'd take to do larger
bit lengths
@p100sch speculated on the walked back time, and overstating the rig capabilities. Instead I spent a lot of time trying to get it 'just-so'.
Worse, because I had to resort to "Decimal" in python (and am currently experimenting with the same in Julia), both of which are immutable types, the GC was taking > 25% of the cpu time.
Performancewise, the numbers I cited in the actual thread, as of this time:
largest product factored was 32bit, 1855526741 * 2163967087, took 1116.111s in python.
Julia build used a slightly different method, & managed to factor a 27 bit number, 103147223 * 88789957 in 20.9s,
but this wasn't typical.
What surprised me was the variability. One bit length could take 100s or a couple thousand seconds even, and a product that was 1-2 bits longer could return a result in under a minute, sometimes in seconds.
This started cropping up, ironically, right after I posted the thread, whats a man to do?
So I started trying a bunch of things, some of which worked. Shameless as I am, I accepted the challenge. Things weren't perfect but it was going well enough. At that point I hadn't slept in 30~ hours so when I thought I had it I let it run and went to bed. 5 AM comes, I check the program. Still calculating, and way overshot. Fuuuuuuccc...
So here we are now and it's say to safe the worlds not gonna burn if I explain it seeing as it doesn't work, or at least only some of the time.
Others people, much smarter than me, mentioned it may be a means of finding more secure pairs, and maybe so, I'm not familiar enough to know.
For everyone that followed, commented, those who contributed, even the doubters who kept a sanity check on this without whom this would have been an even bigger embarassement, and the people with their pins and tactical dots, thanks.
So here it is.
A few assumptions first.
Assuming p = the product,
a = some prime,
b = another prime,
and r = a/b (where a is smaller than b)
w = 1/sqrt(p)
(also experimented with w = 1/sqrt(p)*2 but I kept overshooting my a very small margin)
x = a/p
y = b/p
1. for every two numbers, there is a ratio (r) that you can search for among the decimals, starting at 1.0, counting down. You can use this to find the original factors e.x. p*r=n, p/n=m (assuming the product has only two factors), instead of having to do a sieve.
2. You don't need the first number you find to be the precise value of a factor (we're doing floating point math), a large subset of decimal values for the value of a or b will naturally 'fall' into the value of a (or b) + some fractional number, which is lost. Some of you will object, "But if thats wrong, your result will be wrong!" but hear me out.
3. You round for the first factor 'found', and from there, you take the result and do p/a to get b. If 'a' is actually a factor of p, then mod(b, 1) == 0, and then naturally, a*b SHOULD equal p.
If not, you throw out both numbers, rinse and repeat.
Now I knew this this could be faster. Realized the finer the representation, the less important the fractional digits further right in the number were, it was just a matter of how much precision I could AFFORD to lose and still get an accurate result for r*p=a.
Fast forward, lot of experimentation, was hitting a lot of worst case time complexities, where the most significant digits had a bunch of zeroes in front of them so starting at 1.0 was a no go in many situations. Started looking and realized
I didn't NEED the ratio of a/b, I just needed the ratio of a to p.
Intuitively it made sense, but starting at 1.0 was blowing up the calculation time, and this made it so much worse.
I realized if I could start at r=1/sqrt(p) instead, and that because of certain properties, the fractional result of this, r, would ALWAYS be 1. close to one of the factors fractional value of n/p, and 2. it looked like it was guaranteed that r=1/sqrt(p) would ALWAYS be less than at least one of the primes, putting a bound on worst case.
The final result in executable pseudo code (python lol) looks something like the above variables plus
while w >= 0.0:
if (p / round(w*p)) % 1 == 0:
x = round(w*p)
y = p / round(w*p)
if x*y == p:
print("factors found!")
print(x)
print(y)
break
w = w + i
Still working but if anyone sees obvious problems I'd LOVE to hear about it.36 -
Story Time. Inspired by another rant.
Context: I'm In a coding camp years ago, it's the first day.
We're doing introductions (name, why you're here, etc). Always fun to do that....
The folks running the camp are excited to introduce a student who also at one point was a teacher for some sort of girl power coding organization. So this raises questions, why would someone who teaches be a student in this camp?? And even a bigger question is raised when this person introduces themselves for a long time, and as an aside puts down the girls she taught in this program they taught ... like who does that?
horribleLady does that ...
A few hours later horribleLady asks her 12th question of the day (we haven't even started talking about code). Before she asks her question actually says:
“I know, I’m going to be a problem.” -laugh-
🚨🚨🚨 ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ノ 🚨🚨🚨
Fast forward to group projects and she's this sort of emotional storm, tears, and a sort of angry shouting that isn't angry enough for some folks to say she's yelling at people ... but she is. Fortunately I'm not in the first group project with her, but because we're all working in the same room we all get to see the train-wreck unfold.
The moment she doesn't get something (all the time) everyone in her group has to STOP and figure out what they're going to do about it, then again STOP because she thinks someone is doing something different than what was planned. STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP.
In a way, everything had to go through her, she didn’t declare it that way, she didn't present herself as any sort of authority, she would just stop everyone the moment she thought anything was wrong, or she didn't understand it (all the time), and either inject herself or demand help from her team. Everyone around her had to be drawn into whatever problem she had. It was horrific to watch.
Private slack channels would light up like crazy with "OMG", "WTF", "I DON'T UNDERSTAND HER", "FUCK" and "SHE"S HOW OLD!?!?"
So finally it happens to me and guyWhoDoesPotConstantly (capable guy, nice dude, pretty sure he was high all the time).... we're teamed up to work with horribleLady. Thankfully for just one day. I accept this because I figure one day with her is enough penance to try to avoid any further contact later on.
My approach is straight stone face. I refuse to respond to her sulking, or sighing, or general emotional bait she throws out constantly. I saw other students unwittingly take her bait (they were trying to be helpful) only to have her crap all over them with her frustrations or whatever it is is going on.
Still we're teamed up with her her for the day so I'm going to be a good team member and I explain what guyWhoDoesPotConstantly and I are doing / trying.... and so forth. But she's just too upset that she's even assigned to work with us, and tells me I'm just not doing it right, and her explanations about how we're not doing it right makes less than 0 sense. I ask her to show me what she means but she won't type anything on her keyboard, she'd just talk about how she’s thinking conceptually in circles and sulk about it rather than listen. I don't respond to any of her shit and say "I'm going to try this." and guyWhoDoesPotConstantly and I just keep working.
She would later call the instructor over and complain to him for a while and say: "These guys just get it, they're not helping me, I want to be assigned to another group." She doesn't get her way so she just moves to another table in front of us.
After that day I figured it was a great time to ask .... to NEVER be assigned to anything with her because "If I told her what I thought it would just get a lot worse." I got my way ;)
Other students weren't so lucky. Tears, sulking, her special way of yelling at people that somehow never got her in trouble (she should have been kicked out of the program) just kept going on. She refused to even present one group project she deemed not good enough despite the fact that she contributed nothing functional to the project that the TA's didn't write for her...
Amidst the stories she would tell to students was one of how she sued her totally sexist/racist/evil former employer. She never said what came of it, but that combined with her inability to do things reminded me of a rant I read on here.
I sometimes fear being hired someplace and walking in my first day to find I'm assigned to work with .... horribleLady. In this scenario she managed to get hired and they're too afraid to fire her so they assign the new guy to work with horribleLady...
I've no idea what happened to her after the camp.
(I rewrote this rant a few times because it kept circling back to a larger story about the coding camp I wrote about a few years ago, so if this seemed sort of broken up and wonky, yeah it was / is / yeah)4 -
So I've been exporting a JSON dump of ~120GB for hours and when trying to processing it, and write it to a new file, I wrote to the same file. FML. Hours of export became 0 bytes in no time. Think its time to get some sleep.4
-
ARGH. I wrote a long rant containing a bunch of gems from the codebase at @work, and lost it.
I'll summarize the few I remember.
First, the cliche:
if (x == true) { return true; } else { return false; };
Seriously written (more than once) by the "legendary" devs themselves.
Then, lots of typos in constants (and methods, and comments, and ...) like:
SMD_AGENT_SHCEDULE_XYZ = '5-year-old-typo'
and gems like:
def hot_garbage
magic = [nil, '']
magic = [0, nil] if something_something
success = other_method_that_returns_nothing(magic)
if success == true
return true # signal success
end
end
^ That one is from our glorious self-proclaimed leader / "engineering director" / the junior dev thundercunt on a power trip. Good stuff.
Next up are a few of my personal favorites:
Report.run_every 4.hours # Every 6 hours
Daemon.run_at_hour 6 # Daily at 8am
LANG_ENGLISH = :en
LANG_SPANISH = :sp # because fuck standards, right?
And for design decisions...
The code was supposed to support multiple currencies, but just disregards them and sets a hardcoded 'usd' instead -- and the system stores that string on literally hundreds of millions of records, often multiple times too (e.g. for payment, display fees, etc). and! AND! IT'S ALWAYS A FUCKING VARCHAR(255)! So a single payment record uses 768 bytes to store 'usd' 'usd' 'usd'
I'd mention the design decisions that led to the 35 second minimum pay API response time (often 55 sec), but i don't remember the details well enough.
Also:
The senior devs can get pretty much anything through code review. So can the dev accountants. and ... well, pretty much everyone else. Seriously, i have absolutely no idea how all of this shit managed to get published.
But speaking of code reviews: Some security holes are allowed through because (and i quote) "they already exist elsewhere in the codebase." You can't make this up.
Oh, and another!
In a feature that merges two user objects and all their data, there's a method to generate a unique ID. It concatenates 12 random numbers (one at a time, ofc) then checks the database to see if that id already exists. It tries this 20 times, and uses the first unique one... or falls through and uses its last attempt. This ofc leads to collisions, and those collisions are messy and require a db rollback to fix. gg. This was written by the "legendary" dev himself, replete with his signature single-letter variable names. I brought it up and he laughed it off, saying the collisions have been rare enough it doesn't really matter so he won't fix it.
Yep, it's garbage all the way down.16 -
whenever my team starts on a new project we're all like "okay we're gonna have MEANINGFUL commit messages this time guys"
*5 hours later*
$ git commit -m "go fuck yourself"
[master a7b9de] go fuck yourself
1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 0 deletions(-)4 -
My first Windows rant.
I use Spotify heavily. (After all, I am paying for it every fucking month.) In fact, it's safe to say I use it upwards of 12+ hours a day.
My birthday was a few weeks ago. I got a new mechanical keyboard using some money i received as a gift. This keyboard has a function key to launch your media player. Odd function in my opinion. But I figured I would try it out for a week or so.
My problem is: the default media center is that god forsaken piece of shit groove music (not only is it shit, I also have 0 mp3 files on my computer).
No problem, I'll just change the default media center. Fucking Windows doesn't let me change it to Spotify. Odd. Well, I did download it from Spotify's website. Let's try downloading it from the Windows store.
I download Spotify from the Windows store. It still cannot be set to the default media center.
For fuck sake, if Google can let me set Spotify as my default over their shitty YouTube Music that I know damn well they're trying to make as the default for all Android, then you can let me change it Windows.
Yes, I know Spotfiy isn't exactly a media center, but it's basically the same fucking thing.16 -
Currently in the middle of quarterly planning (its been fun so far). Needs to be signed off by business today.
- My team has ~25 man weeks available in terms of capacity.
- Looking at only priority 0 tasks, last night we calculated the ask from product stands at 64.
- Including P1's, P2's etc. its well over 100 man weeks.
- Email was sent around from business with a list of tasks, asking which can be dropped, de-scoped etc.
Product (non technical) response this morning:
- This one can't take 2 weeks, its not that complicated.
- This one needs to stay, It was originally a Q1 task.
- Can we make this one smaller? (currently only a 3 week task)
- 14 comments on other teams items.
<extreme-sarcasm>
... ah perfect, that cut down the items by less than half. We are now ready for the deadline in 4 hours to have all this signed off on. Great job everyone. Thanks for all the insightful discussions. Go team!
</extreme-sarcasm>6 -
Fuck Firefox's CSS engine! Why is it so fucking buggy?
I needed to position some elements in a circle, so I used Math.cos(Math.PI / 2) to calculate their x positions. So, mathematically speaking, that should return 0, right? Turns out in JS it doesn't (because fuck precision). It actually returns 6.123233995736766e-17 and I was using that in the style, like top: offset + that.
In chrome it was working perfectly, but in Firefox all hell broke loose. All animations stopped working, scripts stopped working, demons were eating people alive.
And I lost hours hunting that down. My fault because I should have tested it immediately on other browsers, but fuck!11 -
Best part about the covid19 manufactured crisis?
Liquor stores deliver. Worst part about liquor stores delivering? Needing to use their shoddy websites.
I've been using a particular store (Total Wines) since they're cheaper than the rest and have better selection; it's quite literally a large warehouse made to look like a store.
Their website tries really hard to look professional, too, but it's just not. It took me two days to order, and not just from lack of time -- though from working 14 hour days, that's a factor.
Signing up was difficult. Your username is an email address, but you can't use comments because the server 500s, making the ajax call produce a wonderfully ambiguous error message. It also fades the page out like it's waiting on something, but that fade is on top of the error modal too. Similar error with the password field, though I don't remember how I triggered it.
Signing up also requires agreeing to subscribe to their newsletter. it's technically an opt-in, but not opting-in doesn't allow you to proceed. Same with opting-in to receiving a text notification when your order is ready for pickup -- you also opt-in to reciving SMS spam.
Another issue: After signing up, you start to navigate through the paginated product list. Every page change scrolls you to the exact middle of the next page. Not deliberatly; the UI loads first, and the browser gets as close as it can to your previous position -- which was below that as the pagination is at the bottom -- and then the products populate after. But regardless of why, there is no worse place to start because now you must scroll in both directions to view the products. If it stayed at the very bottom, it would at least mean you only need to scroll upwards to look at everything on the page. Minor, but increasingly irritating.
Also, they have like 198 pages of spirits alone because each size is unique entry. A 50ml, 350ml, 500ml, 750ml, 1000ml, and 1750ml bottle of e.g. Tito's vodka isn't one product, it's six. and they're sorted seemingly randomly. I think it's by available stock, looking back.
If you fancy a product, you can click on it for a detail page. Said detail page lists the various sizes in a dropdown, but they're not sorted correctly either, and changing sizes triggers a page reload, which leads to another problem:
if you navigate to more than a few pages within a 10 or so second window, the site accuses you of using browser automation. No captcha here, just a "click me for five seconds" button. However, it (usually) also triggers the check on every other tab you have open after its next nagivation.
That product page also randomly doesn't work. I haven't narrowed it down, but it will randomly decide to start failing, and won't stop failing for hours. It renders the page just fine, then immediately replaces it with a blank page. When it's failing, the only way to interact with the page is a perfectly-timed [esc], which can (and usually does) break all other page functionality, too. Absolutely great when you need to re-add everything from a stale copy of your signed-out cart living in another tab. More on that later. And don't forget to slow down to bypass the "browser automation" check, too!
Oh, and if you're using container tabs, make sure to open new tabs in the SAME container, as any request from the same IP without the login cookie will usually trigger that "browser automation" response, too.
The site also randomly signs you out, but allows you to continue amassing your cart. You'd think this is a good thing until you choose to sign in again... which empties your cart. It's like they don't want to make a sale at all.
The site also randomly forgets your name, replacing it with "null." My screen currently says "Hello, null". Hello, cruft!
It took me two days to order.
Mostly from lack of time, as i've been pulling 14 hour shifts lately trying to get everything done. but the sheer number of bugs certainly wasted most of what little time i had left. Now I definitely need a drink.
But maybe putting up with all of this is worthwhile because of their loyalty program? Apparently if you spend $500, you can take $5 off your next purchase! Yay! 1%! And your points expire! There are three levels; maybe it gets better. Level zero is for everyone; $0 requirement. There are also levels at $500 and $2500. That last one is seriously 5x more than the first paid level. and what does it earn you? A 'free' magazine subscription, 'free' classes (they're usually like $20-$50 iirc), and a 'free' grab bag (a $2.99 value!) twice per month. All for spending $2500. What a steal. It reminds me of Candy Crush's 3-star system where the first two stars are trivial, and the third is usually a difficult stretch goal. But here it's just thinly-veiled manipulation with no benefit.
I can tell they're employing some "smarketing" people with big ideas (read: stolen mistakes), but it's just such a fail.
The whole thing is a fail.7 -
Was explaining a technical concept at a "family" dinner. Suddenly stepmother wanted my help for something technical.
Stepmother: Say Awlex, could you help me install some software I recently bought?
Me: (Not this shit again) I even don't know what software you're talking about. How is the software called, what does it do?
Sm: it's calles digital... *long pause*
Me: (I don't like where this is going)
Sm: software... *another long pause*
Me: (fuck me harder than that lightly clothed woman outside)
Sm: something... *long pause*
Me: (alright brain, which way out of here doesn't involves me creating a bullet hole in either one of us?)
Sm: And you can use it to sell something...
Me: (tf do you event sell?!)
Sm: but not like ebay
Me: (what is it then? A platform for selling services? I don't even know what kind of software you'd have to install, given that most of these platforms are be web applications, whcih makes sense for selling stuff on the internet)
Sm: Anyway, could you help me install it? It would take me hours to get into it.
Me: (You think just installing would solve it? As soon as I install it, you probably expect me to be your walking manual as well, don't you?) Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, since I started working I don't have nearly as much free time as I used to have (Not everybody works when they feel like it, you know that?) I get home at around almost 7pm (most of the time) and don't really wanna work afterwards. Most of the time there's a support service from the people who made this software and they would be glad to help you. (Sorry support team, for pushing this bundle of incompetence onto you, but I guess she didn't even listen to my advice).
After that she didn't back down and still wanted my help. Then my grandmother derailed the conversation and got me out of this. When I thanked her later she yold me that she saw I saw uncomfortable and wanted to help. I love my grandmother.
So I am not going to be your "family" tech support. You b(r)ought this onto yourself. Are more than twice my age and still can't use your brain to solve problems like these on your own and you can even less reason abiut your motives and desires when asking for help. I am sick of you and shutty opinions about people, just because I work as a software engineer doesn't mean I'm exist solely for satisfying your unreasonable desires.
Stop offending me and my profession and get yourself some common sense.
Protip #0: Give me one fucking reason to help you, because you're not family enough and your personality really doesn't bring forth any emotion but annoyance4 -
Finally got a new job, but it's already a horror story not even 2 hours in (making this while on break)
Everyone here is an Intern, IT? Interns, Designers? Interns, HR? Interns.
The Person who I should've worked with got fired yesterday, and now I have to work all of his shit up from 0, Documentation? Fragmental, a few things here and there, but nothing really.
IT security also doesn't exist in the slightest, there is an Excel sheet called "Master_Passwords" and every single password is in Plaintext, written out for everyone to see. (at least they used "strong" passwords)
And the place also looks run down, theres PC's, Laptops, Mics, Cables etc. lying literally everywhere no-one knows what works and what doesn't (since everyone is an intern)
Not to mention the "Server Room" is an absolute mess itself, cables hanging from literally anywhere, powerstrips are ontop of servers, each rack has like 2 or 3 2U Servers, (in a 40u Rack) and there are 10 of them!4 -
I am much too tired to go into details, probably because I left the office at 11:15pm, but I finally finished a feature. It doesn't even sound like a particularly large or complicated feature. It sounds like a simple, 1-2 day feature until you look at it closely.
It took me an entire fucking week. and all the while I was coaching a junior dev who had just picked up Rails and was building something very similar.
It's the model, controller, and UI for creating a parent object along with 0-n child objects, with default children suggestions, a fancy ui including the ability to dynamically add/remove children via buttons. and have the entire happy family save nicely and atomically on the backend. Plus a detailed-but-simple listing for non-technicals including some absolutely nontrivial css acrobatics.
After getting about 90% of everything built and working and beautiful, I learned that Rails does quite a bit of this for you, through `accepts_nested_params_for :collection`. But that requires very specific form input namespacing, and building that out correctly is flipping difficult. It's not like I could find good examples anywhere, either. I looked for hours. I finally found a rails tutorial vide linked from a comment on a SO answer from five years ago, and mashed its oversimplified and dated examples with the newer documentation, and worked around the issues that of course arose from that disasterous paring.
like.
I needed to store a template of the child object markup somewhere, yeah? The video had me trying to store all of the markup in a `data-fields=" "` attrib. wth? I tried storing it as a string and injecting it into javascript, but that didn't work either. parsing errors! yay! good job, you two.
So I ended up storing the markup (rendered from a rails partial) in an html comment of all things, and pulling the markup out of the comment and gsubbing its IDs on document load. This has the annoying effect of preventing me from using html comments in that partial (not that i really use them anyway, but.)
Just.
Every step of the way on building this was another mountain climb.
* singular vs plural naming and routing, and named routes. and dealing with issues arising from existing incorrect pluralization.
* reverse polymorphic relation (child -> x parent)
* The testing suite is incompatible with the new rails6. There is no fix. None. I checked. Nope. Not happening.
* Rails6 randomly and constantly crashes and/or caches random things (including arbitrary code changes) in development mode (and only development mode) when working with multiple databases.
* nested form builders
* styling a fucking checkbox
* Making that checkbox (rather, its label and container div) into a sexy animated slider
* passing data and locals to and between partials
* misleading documentation
* building the partials to be self-contained and reusable
* coercing form builders into namespacing nested html inputs the way Rails expects
* input namespacing redux, now with nested form builders too!
* Figuring out how to generate markup for an empty child when I'm no longer rendering the children myself
* Figuring out where the fuck to put the blank child template markup so it's accessible, has the right namespacing, and is not submitted with everything else
* Figuring out how the fuck to read an html comment with JS
* nested strong params
* nested strong params
* nested fucking strong params
* caching parsed children's data on parent when the whole thing is bloody atomic.
* Converting datetimes from/to milliseconds on save/load
* CSS and bootstrap collisions
* CSS and bootstrap stupidity
* Reinventing the entire multi-child / nested params / atomic creating/updating/deleting feature on my own before discovering Rails can do that for you.
Just.
I am so glad it's working.
I don't even feel relieved. I just feel exhausted.
But it's done.
finally.
and it's done well. It's all self-contained and reusable, it's easy to read, has separate styling and reusable partials, etc. It's a two line copy/paste drop-in for any other model that needs it. Two lines and it just works, and even tells you if you screwed up.
I'm incredibly proud of everything that went into this.
But mostly I'm just incredibly tired.
Time for some well-deserved sleep.7 -
So we're working on a few initial apps for a hackercamp and finetuning the OS. We've been coding for like 17-18 hours trying to finish this off without a day 1 patch on the event itself, when someone starts swearing like a sailor. We walk past him take a look at his code and see that he's started an array at 3 instead of 0. He's one of the more experienced members on the team so this is a lack of sleep bug rather than a not knowing. To this day whenever someone makes an array error in their code someone always shouts "Arrays start at 3 right"!
Maybe not the most satisfying bugs but man is it funny as hell. -
Long time ago, back in a day of Microsoft Office 95 and 97, I was contracted to integrate a simple API for a payment service provider.
They've sent me the spec, I read it, it was simple enough: 1. payment OK, 2. payment FAILED. Few hours later the test environment was up and happy crediting and debiting fake accounts. Then came the push to prod.
I worked with two other guys, we shut down the servers, made a backup, connected new provider. All looked perfectly fine. First customers were paying, first shops were sending their products... Until two days later it turned out the money isn't coming through even though all we are getting from the API is "1" after "1"! I shut it off. We had 7 conference calls, 2 meetings, 3 days of trying and failing. Finally, by a mere luck, I found out what's what.
You see, Microsoft, when you invent your own file format, it's really nice to make it consistent between versions... So that the punctuation made in Microsoft Word 97 that was supposed to start from "0" didn't start from "1" when you open the file in Microsoft Word 95.
Also, if you're a moron who edits documentation in Microsoft Word, at least export it to a fucking PDF before sending out. Please. -
Okay you bastards ya got me: I fucking enjoy using Linux as my dev environment.
There, I SAID IT -
BUT DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND IT MEANS THAT I STOPPED HATING IT
Oh the fucking love hate relationship to fucking Linux.
"Hey, ihatecomputers! How many hours per year did you spend fixing internet connectivity issues on Windows?" you ask. Well, close to fucking 0 you goddamned imbecile. But on Linux? I don't even want to talk about it.
And what about that time when I wanted to connect my bluetooth headphones so I could listen to music while studying? Well, by the time my headphones were connected to my machine (usually a one second operation) I had no time left for, you know, actual studying. Oh my god, it's the most trivial fucking thing.
Well, at least that particular issue got solved.
Unlike that fucking Ethernet connection which has been fucking out of commission since I started using fucking Linux. Wifi works just well enough to make it not worth pouring more time into troubleshooting that shit, but just barely though because my wifi IS FUCKING DOGSHIT ON LINUX
...
But fuck me if it isn't it the most lean thing ever! It's the goddamned opposite of bloated. So smooth and snappy. And free as in slurred speech, or whatever. It makes me happy. When I'm not seething with rage, that is.
Yeah I guess that's it, thanks for tuning in.
~ihatecomputers16 -
Yknow what the best part about Unix is? (Not Linux. Like old school Unix. AIX, HPUX, or in this specific case: Solaris)
It never needs to be updated. like ever. Even when new features are added 5 years ago to add features that GNU has had for literally decades. Updates are for the weak. Because why should I be able to type "netstat -natup" when instead you can enjoy several hours of developing the nightmare one-liner that is:
Pfiles /proc/* | awk '/^[0-9]/ {p=$0} /port/ {printf "%.4s %-30s %-8s %s\n", $1,$3,$5,p}' 2>/dev/null
Isn't that just so much more fun?!
Thanks guys. I'm going back to GNU now if you don't mind.6 -
Apparently color pair 0 is reserved in curses.
So modifying it will never work.
Even though that's not in the documentation.
I've wasted hours.
I finally changed the color pair to 1 and everything worked.
God.
Kill me now.2 -
My code was doing the exact oposite of what I wanted it to do and it took me about 2 hours to find out that strcmp() returns 0 when the strings match, problem solved, fml.4
-
sooooooooo for my current graduate class we were to use the MVC pattern to build an IOS application(they preferred it if we did an IOS application) or if you didn't have an Apple computer: an Android application.
The thing is, they specified to use Java, while in their lectures and demos they made a lot of points for other technologies, hybrid technologies, such as React Cordova, all that shit, they even mentioned React Native and more. But not one single mention of Kotlin. Last time I tried my hand at Android development was way before Kotlin, it was actually my first major development job: Mobile development, for which we used Obj C on the IOS part and well, Java on the Android part.
As some of you might now, I rarely have something bad to say about a tech stack(except for VBA which I despise, but I digress) and I love and use Java at work. But the Android API has always seem unnecessarily complex for my taste, because of that, when I was working as a mobile development I dreaded every single minute in which I had to code for Android, Google had a great way to make people despise Java through their Android API. I am not saying it is shit, I am not saying it is bad, I just-dont-like-it.
Kotlin, proves a superior choice in my humble opinion for Android development, and because the language is for retards, it was fairly easy for me to pick it up in about 2 hours. I was already redesigning some of my largest Spring applications using half the code and implemented about 80% of the application's functionality in less than 3 hours(login, fragment manipulation, permissions, bla bla) and by that time I started to wonder if the app built on Kotlin would be ok. And why not? If they specifically mentioned and demonstrated examples using Swift, then surely Kotlin would be fine no? Between Kotlin and Java it is easy to see that kotlin is more similar to Swift than Java. So I sent an email. Their response: "I am sorry, but we would much rather you stick with the official implementations for Android, which in this case is Java for the development of the application"
I was like 0.o wat? So I replied back sending links and documentation where Google touted Kotlin as the new and preferred way to develop Android applications, not as a second class citizen of the platform, but as THE preferred stack. Same response.
Eventually one of the instructors reflected long enough on it to say that it was fine if I developed the application in Kotlin, but they advised me that since they already had grading criteria for the Java program I had to redo it in Java. It did not took me long really, once I was finished with the Kotlin application I basically rewrote only a couple of things into Java.
The end result? I think that for Android I still greatly prefer Kotlin. Even though I am not the biggest fan of Kotlin for anything else, or as my preferred language in the JVM.
I just.......wish....they would have said something along the lines of: "Nah fam please rewrite that shit for Java since we don't have grading criterias in place for Kotlin, sorry bruh, 10/10 gg tho" instead of them getting into an email battle with me concerning Kotlin being or not being the language to use in Android. It made me feel that they effectively had no clue what they were talking about and as such not really capable of taking care of students on a graduate level program.
Made me feel dirty.12 -
I am now officially 23 years old.
So many hours of work invested
So many countless blood spilled
So much sweat made
So many years passed
So many projects worked on
Summed up in 0 successful projects
If someone were to ask me to showcase what I had done in 23 years of my life, I cannot show them something that no longer exists. The projects are dead. I cannot even prove my friends what I had done other than blindly say what I had done. But behind the scenes I worked so much and am completely demotivated by all of the pressure from failure. I have actually never felt so bad on my birthday. 2020 really is the worst year ever. I feel like a failure while life is just exponentially passing by.....18 -
Accidentally (SOMEHOW):
sudo chown <user> -hR /usr/bin/
Tries to run "sudo su" after 12 hours:
sudo: /usr/bin/sudo must be owned by uid 0 and have the setuid bit set
...
it was at this moment that he knew, he f'd up10 -
!dev
monthly mediocre life crisis checklist:
✅ boring job, no learning, taking away 8 hrs/ day
✅ wasting 4-5 hours doomscrolling
✅ being a mediocre Android developer in a shitty company not upgrading his skills
✅ trying to learn webdev from a paid course but not getting any progress there
✅ having 15 paid leaves but a shitty friend cicrle which isn't nterested in going out
✅ 0 solo travel with no knowledge in driving any vehicle
✅ no girlfriend/ lady friends to talk to
✅ porn and boring nature killing any signs of being interesting
✅ gaining fat and ugly body
✅ simping at the gym
✅ hateful parents quarreling with each other everyday
✅ having sad life with no mental peace
things going correct in life
⬜ getting salary on time, able to afford bread
⬜ still try to workout 5d/week
⬜ still try to make small web projects12 -
So my laptop is a Lenovo y50-70 and it's quite good. The keyboard is amazing compared to most other Laptops I've tried the screen is nice, it's durable and it's got some decent specs. With it (and also my desktop) I dual boot Kubuntu and Windows 10.
About three years ago I decided I wanted to reinstall both OS' since they were starting to get cluggered. Lo and behold I wasn't able to do that because, and I quote: "EFI USB Device boot failed".
Hours were spent trying to Google different things to the point where I was even desperate enough to go beyond page 0 on the different searches with (as you might have guessed), no luck. "Fuck that" I thought. It worked and I could clean it manually anyway.
Fast forward to the last part of August this year where I upgraded my Kubuntu from 17.10 to 18.04 and shit got weird. You can read more about it here:
https://reddit.com/r/kde/...
but the TL;DR is in the link. Windows was also quite annoing as well (but don't take my word for it).
As you might understand it made me really frustrated. I couldn't update my BIOS since they were already at the current version, but one way or another I had to fix it. After a while was almost about to give up when I decided to give this:
https://forums.lenovo.com/t5/...
https://bugs.launchpad.net/ubuntu/...
a go. It was weird though. Like imagine the conversation:
"Can't boot from USB bro, what do I do?"
"Just update your kernel, bro"
Well IT. FUCKING. WORKED.
So I imideatly installed Linux and have just now bothered installing Windows (since all of the teachers are vacation so I had plenty of time to set it all up).
But got damn.
4 -
Just another big rant story full of WTFs and completely true.
The company I work for atm is like the landlord for a big german city. We build houses and flats and rent them to normal people, just that we want to be very cheap and most nearly all our tenants are jobless.
So the company hired a lot of software-dev-companies to manage everything.
The company I want to talk about is "ABI...", a 40-man big software company. ABI sold us different software, e.g. a datawarehouse for our ERP System they "invented" for 300K or the software we talk about today: a document management system. It has workflows, a 100 year-save archive system, a history feature etc.
The software itself, called ELO (you can google it if you want) is a component based software in which every company that is a "partner" can develop things into, like ABI did for our company.
Since 2013 we pay ABI 150€ / hour (most of the time it feels like 300€ / hour, because if you want something done from a dev from ABI you first have to talk to the project manager of him and of course pay him too). They did thousand of hours in all that years for my company.
In 2017 they started to talk about a module in ELO called Invoice-Module. With that you can manage all your paper invoices digital, like scan that piece of paper, then OCR it, then fill formular data, add data and at the end you can send it to the ERP system automatically and we can pay the invoice automatically. "Digitization" is the key word.
After 1.5 years of project planning and a 3 month test phase, we talked to them and decided to go live at 01.01.2019. We are talking about already ~ 200 hours planning and work just from ABI for this (do the math. No. Please dont...).
I joined my actual company in October 2018 and I should "just overview" the project a bit, I mean, hey, they planned it since 1.5 years - how bad can it be, right?
In the first week of 2019 we found 25 bugs and users reporting around 50 feature requests, around 30 of them of such high need that they can't do their daily work with the invoices like they did before without ELO.
In the first three weeks of 2019 we where around 70 bugs deep, 20 of them fixed, with nearly 70 feature requests, 5 done. Around 10 bugs where so high, that the complete system would not work any more if they dont get fixed.
Want examples?
- Delete a Invoice (right click -> delete, no super deep hiding menu), and the server crashed until someone restarts it.
- missing dropdown of tax rate, everything was 19% (in germany 99,9% of all invoices are 19%, 7% or 0%).
But the biggest thing was, that the complete webservice send to ERP wasn't even finished in the code.
So that means we had around 600 invoices to pay with nearly 300.000€ of cash in the first 3 weeks and we couldn't even pay 1 cent - as a urban company!
Shortly after receiving and starting to discussing this high prio request with ABI the project manager of my assigned dev told me he will be gone the next day. He is getting married. And honeymoon. 1 Week. So: Wish him luck, when will his replacement here?
Deep breath.
Deep breath.
There was no replacement. They just had 1 developer. As a 40-people-software-house they had exactly one developer which knows ELO, which they sold to A LOT of companies.
He came back, 1 week gone, we asked for a meeting, they told us "oh, he is now in other ELO projects planned, we can offer you time from him in 4 weeks earliest".
To cut a long story short (it's to late for that, right?) we fought around 3 month with ABI to even rescue this project in any thinkable way. The solution mid February was, that I (software dev) would visit crash courses in ELO to be the second developer ABI didnt had, even without working for ABI....
Now its may and we decided to cut strings with ABI in ELO and switch to a new company who knows ELO. There where around 10 meetings on CEO-level to make this a "good" cut and not a bad cut, because we can't afford to scare them (think about the 300K tool they sold us...).
01.06.2019 we should start with the new company. 2 days before I found out, by accident, that there was a password on the project file on the server for one of the ELO services. I called my boss and my CEO. No one knows anything about it. I found out, that ABI sneaked into this folder, while working on another thing a week ago, and set this password to lock us out. OF OUR OWN FCKING FILE.
Without this password we are not able to fix any bug, develop any feature or even change an image within ELO, regardless, that we paid thausend of hours for that.
When we asked ABI about this, his CEO told us, it is "their property" and they will not remove it.
When I asked my CEO about it, they told me to do nothing, we can't scare them, we need them for the 300K tool.
No punt.
No finish.
Just the project file with a password still there today6 -
3 hours...
3 damn hours for 200 lines of bash code.
Exorcism, Magic I don't care.... But please make a special person never touching bash programming again.
I ripped my hairs out. Really.
Till I realized someone wrote functions with _logical_ return true codes as numbers.
0 - as logical false, for failure
1 - as logical true, for success
Leading my brain into a severe segfault fun.
Why... Oh why.
Second fun part as I corrected that...
Someone wasn't fond of exit codes at all.
Script is now 86 % rewritten....
God damn it, if you don't like a languages fine.
But inverting core logic should give a free trip to the electrical chair.1 -
C#: the only language where you have 0 based arrays and 1 based collections, just to mess with you... Damn you M$!
(spent hours trying to understand why collection[0] was raising an out of range exception...)3 -
The Linux Kernel is propably the best working example for open source.
Personally I had the most exciting experiences with open source games, like Super Tux Cart, OpenTTD, 0 A.D.
Once I watched a streamer playing OpenRCT2, but the Twitch integration server, which allows to have the names of the people in chat appear in the game, was offline. Because the game is open source, I was able to have a look at the API, write my own server in a couple of hours and share it. Was a really funny stream then!
Wine is a great project, too. I really like the idea that people cooperate with each other to bypass commercial limitations and on this way be able to play their favourite games on a free operating system. -
So I managed to watch youtube for over an hour. On my phone. WHILE IT WAS AT 0%.
It was on zero for 2 hours straight. No charger.
How.15 -
So im a programming student at university, tasked with a small group project to make a simple 3d platformer in ue4.
End up with 3 games design students where I'm doing all of the technical stuff while they do sound, graphics and design.
So I make a simpe all purpose ai that can do everything they need and hand it over. The next day I get a call saying it doesn't work. Takes me an hour to realise they don't have a navmesh. Now, that wasn't too unreasonable mistake as they didn't know what one was but a few hours later they call me again saying it doesn't deal any damage.
I'm going through the blueprints and can't find out what isn't working until an idea pops into my head.
Me "Click the damage variable for me"
Them "What's a variable?"
Me "That thing on the bottom left that says damage. Then the world value should pop up on the right with a number, tell me that number."
Them "0"
So apparently they fucked with the variable and set damage dealt to 0. Dunno why, they didn't even know what it was nor what it did.
This is my life at the moment. I hope a real job ain't this bad :(1 -
Fulfillment company: the order you put in our system is wrong, the hours we needed to correct this will be charged to you (Red: or rather my employer)
Me: *Checks logs and our server - finds out the order was made in their own webform/webapp*
Me: hey how come I can put in values in your webform that should not pass sanity checks, thats weird (in this case it was a product w/ a quantity of 0)
Fulfillment company: we don't do sanity checks or validation, we just find out when shit crashes and burns, nothing weird about that
Me: WTF1 -
KALI FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN YOU NOT BREAK YOUR BOOT PACKAGE FOR 24 FUCKING HOURS
the initrd isn't at all valid and the vmlinuz package is 0 bytes.
21 -
GOD DAMNED DICK EATING, CODE SHITTING, COPY PASTE MONKEYS!! STOP RELEASING LIBRARIES IF YOU HAVE 0 COMMON SENSE.
WASTED 3 HOURS JUST BECAUSE YOUR PILE OF FUCKING NODE MODULES CHANGED ENVIROMENT VARIABLES, AT LEAST PREFIX YOUR DIRT CODE BEFORE SHOVELING IT INTO THE MOUTH OF OTHER DEVS AROUND THE GLOBE.
TL;DR
Fuck shitdevs.1 -
Boss wanted me to make changes in company's website which was based on wordpres s.
I knew it could be done by tweaking some JS code, but I have very less experience with wordpress
But wordpress is easy man(Internet told me).
Give me 5 minutes, you will see the changes in production.
Being lazy af I directly logged in to ftp, checked out some files, updated some code, I was good to go.
Before pushing it, I opened the website and it was GONE ٩(๑´0`๑)۶
Now there was no public_html in the root.
I was fucked. I have accidentally deleted the website that had no backup.
And the best part I was on leave from
next day.
I was looking everywhere for backups, looked into google cache to get the contents. I have to recreate the complete site now.
Just when I was asking questions on choice of my profession and simultaneously looking here and there in FTP for backups,
I found the jewel "public_html".
It happens out that I have accidentally moved the folder to some other directory.
Phewww.
Moved it back to root. Site was up and running.
Reassured myself that I deserve to be a dev.
Backed up complete site, made the changes.
Uploaded it.
And the best part, amount of wordpress I learned in those three hours was way more than I could have learnt in many weeks.
Lessons Learnt :
A) ALWAYS keep backups.
B) You SHOULD NOT make changes on prod directly
C) You become superhuman when your brain know you are going to be fucked 😂3 -
So I just spent the last few hours trying to get an intro of given Wikipedia articles into my Telegram bot. It turns out that Wikipedia does have an API! But unfortunately it's born as a retard.
First I looked at https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/API and almost thought that that was a Wikipedia article about API's. I almost skipped right over it on the search results (and it turns out that I should've). Upon opening and reading that, I found a shitload of endpoints that frankly I didn't give a shit about. Come on Wikipedia, just give me the fucking data to read out.
Ctrl-F in that page and I find a tiny little link to https://mediawiki.org/wiki/... which is basically what I needed. There's an example that.. gets the data in XML form. Because JSON is clearly too much to ask for. Are you fucking braindead Wikipedia? If my application was able to parse XML/HTML/whatevers, that would be called a browser. With all due respect but I'm not gonna embed a fucking web browser in a bot. I'll leave that to the Electron "devs" that prefer raping my RAM instead.
OK so after that I found on third-party documentation (always a good sign when that's more useful, isn't it) that it does support JSON. Retardpedia just doesn't use it by default. In fact in the example query that was a parameter that wasn't even in there. Not including something crucial like that surely is a good way to let people know the feature is there. Massive kudos to you Wikipedia.. but not really. But a parameter that was in there - for fucking CORS - that was in there by default and broke the whole goddamn thing unless I REMOVED it. Yeah because CORS is so useful in a goddamn fucking API.
So I finally get to a functioning JSON response, now all that's left is parsing it. Again, I only care about the content on the page. So I curl the endpoint and trim off the bits I don't need with jq... I was left with this monstrosity.
curl "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/api.php/...=*" | jq -r '.query.pages[0].revisions[0].slots.main.content'
Just how far can you nest your JSON Wikipedia? Are you trying to find the limits of jq or something here?!
And THEN.. as an icing on the cake, the result doesn't quite look like JSON, nor does it really look like XML, but it has elements of both. I had no idea what to make of this, especially before I had a chance to look at the exact structured output of that command above (if you just pipe into jq without arguments it's much less readable).
Then a friend of mine mentioned Wikitext. Turns out that Wikipedia's API is not only retarded, even the goddamn output is. What the fuck is Wikitext even? It's the Apple of wikis apparently. Only Wikipedia uses it.
And apparently I'm not the only one who found Wikipedia's API.. irritating to say the least. See e.g. https://utcc.utoronto.ca/~cks/...
Needless to say, my bot will not be getting Wikipedia integration at this point. I've seen enough. How about you make your API not retarded first Wikipedia? And hopefully this rant saves someone else the time required to wade through this clusterfuck.12 -
Short story of a developer
0) Don't know how to do something
1) Search for hours on internet
2) Find only crappy codes
3) Try a crappy code
4) Realize that it works only for who created the code (What the hell...)
5) Cry
6) Ask on forums
7) Get downvote without any reason
8) Receive useless answer
9) Delete project4 -
One of our employees set up a RAID 0 (by accident) on the MySQL server years ago and a drive decided to fail....
Why did the system administrator not do their job :’(
24 hours of data lost, clients will be mad especially since its running a CRM.13 -
Do after been made redundant! A few interviews I finally was offered a job! \0/
Now I ended up meeting the team yesterday they said an hour or two and I ended up spending 4 hours with them and have a blast!
Normally I would be #tgif but roll on Monday for me!2 -
Classmates? More like FUCKING PARASITES!
I work in a group on for on the notes using google docs, for realtime collaboration. WE spend lots of hours in school making them something. Then share it with one good friend and BANG the whole class has them, even though he was not supposed to share it. AND DO YOU EXPECT ONE OF THEM EVEN THANKED US FOR THE WORK WE PUT IN THERE MAKING THESE? The most I heard were fucking complaints. I should let the sniff a razerblade for each complaint and hope they improve their brain capabilities to the level of 0.4 -
I fucking hate people who report somebody else's work as their own successes so much.
I've written a fair amount of perf tests for our project so far (actually I'm like the only person doing that). Some fucker from another team asks me if I could write one more. I agree, because why not. I spend a few hours, making sure to cover all cases and commit the test. Then the same fucker runs it and reports it as HIS PERFORMANCE MEASUREMENTS.
0 credit given to me. Fuck you, I just wanted to be helpful and you used this.
I'm still quite young and tend to fall for shit like this, but getting more and more grumpy because of those people.4 -
Scam call story
Scambot: This is Costco balh blah blah....(I don't even have a Costco where I live). To be put on the 'no call' list please press 2.
Me: 2.
Scambot: Hang up.
A few hours later....
Scambot: this is Costco blah blah blah.... To accept your reward please press 0.
Me: 0.
(Long wait)
Scam person ( In a Indian accent so thick I can't accurately type it out without it sounding racist) : This is (gibberish). Are you between the ages of 18 and 80?
Me: I'm 85.
Scam person: (gibberish) Are you between the ages of 18 and 80?
Me: I'm 85.
Scam person: hangs up.6 -
So my friend who is currently attending University to major in Computer Science just started programming Java a few days ago. His first assignment was to learn bubble sort and make it organize a table of certain values provided in the assignment with a few other items on the side. Apparently, he was stressing over the assignment and waited till the last night to do this, and was running on 2 hours of sleep. Anyways, a few days pass and he received a 0% on the assignment with the comment "See me on Monday." and questioned what he did wrong (They use GitHub to submit their assignments, even though other classes at the University just commit to the University Server for Computer Science), and asked me to review the code. When I started looking at the code, all he managed to do was just make two tables, one that would print the unsorted table, and then print the "sorted" table. Plus, the catch that got him in trouble, he named his package "fuckthisshit", how does one not realize that when they're submitting their assignments... like seriously? Like I can understand the 2 hours of sleep, but with 1000s of examples out there, how do you manage to fake bubble sort plus end up naming a package "fuckthisshit" and question why he got a 0%. I do feel bad for him in the long run since there aren't many assignments in this class so this was worth 25%.
-
I just wasted 4 hours debugging a wordpress plugin because the API was returning only the first element of a list. I posted it on support forums, downloaded the plugin's source code and tried to manually find the cause, and I was about to post an issue on the plugin's github page.
It turns out that I forgot I had '$[0]' in my insomnia json filter.... I should probably look for a different job.3 -
This is kind of personal but wait for the conclusion.
I'm having bad migraines. I used to have them like 10 years ago and recently they came back. The only way to stop an attack is to lie down in a dark room for a few hours and then it's back the next day. CT scan shows nothing. My neurologist shrugged and prescribed some meds. They sometimes take the pain from 8 to 6 on a 0-10 scale, sometimes they do nothing. I stopped working on the weekends and it got better, no more migraines on Saturday morning. So I took few weeks of time off and not a single migraine until the last day.
My shrink said I'm allergic to work.9 -
So, today I wanted to program a bit and, after reading the last chapter, I want to see what I able to do.
I run my last Linux distro, I open sublime and I start typing code. I finish, I build. 0 warning, 0 errors. Nice! I execute the code: error.
I watch and I struggle on the code for hours, I search on Google, I search on StackOverflow, but after 1 hour I notice I'm looking for a needle in a haystack. So I search instead for a way to produce a better error. I found it, I'm very happy. Let's try what the error actually is:
Error: success
Ok....
Ok...... Well, maybe.... Uhm......
Ok, I won't give up. I search for a tutorial. Found.
The code is almost the mine, it's actually a usual snippet, nothing new. I compare my code with the code in the example/tutorial.
First line, is the same.
First 10 lines, are the same.
First 30 lines, are the same.
I build and execute the example: it works.
I build and execute my code: still doesn't work.
I won't give up, I said it. I won't give up.
I wonder if there's a tool like git diff, so I can see what the differences are, maybe I've no good eyes.
I search, first Google result, "diff"
diff myCode.c example.c
"the files are not identical"
...thank you
I search for a better command
diff -y myCode.c example.c
"the files are not identical"
I search for a still better command
Found. StackOverflow stroke again.
sdiff myCode.c example.c
"the files are not identical"
.....
....
.....
I gave up.
Ps. I've 10 years of experience in programming4 -
all of them. countless wasted hours.
as fate decided to turn me from $random-dev-geek into "the guy that calls the shots in tech", one of my earliest decisions was to automate formatting.
everywhere, automated at CI.
gofmt was an inspiration for the industry.
js?/ts? use prettier
C++? use ClangFormat
etc.
always default settings.
enforced by pre-commit hooks and CI.
never a single argument about bracket style, I don't care if someone likes single or double quotes better.
"fucks given" counter is fixed at 0.
everybody prefers it (ok, sometimes after a while sometimes)
of course there is still some more conventions to do for us humans.
IMHO the most critical ones.
like naming or even casing (camel, snake, kebab, - which one works where), but taking out most of the "so what" decisions takes discussions to a much more resonable level.6 -
So a few months ago, I got a half-broken old iPhone (microphone, speaker and cameras not working) for testing purposes and it lays 99.9% of the time on my shelf turned off. Today, I turned it on and after I opened Safari, I surprised in not exactly the most pleasant way.
When I started writing in the address bar a strange suggestion from Siri came up for a website my mom searched a few hours ago on her android tablet. Like what the actual fuck?? There is absolutely 0 connection between these 2 devices, there is PiHole running on local network. The only thing that I can think of is that she is using Google (logged out) and it looks like they are actively sharing their data based on IP addresses. Wow...1 -
*leaning back in the story chair*
One night, a long time ago, I was playing computer games with my closest friends through the night. We would meet for a whole weekend extended through some holiday to excessively celebrate our collaborative and competitive gaming skills. In other words we would definitely kick our asses all the time. Laughing at each other for every kill we made and game we won. Crying for every kill received and game lost. A great fun that was.
Sleep level through the first 48 hours was around 0 hours. After some fresh air I thought it would be a very good idea to sit down, taking the time to eventually change all my accounts passwords including the password safe master password. Of course I also had to generate a new key file. You can't be too serious about security these days.
One additional 48 hours, including 13 hours of sleep, some good rounds Call of Duty, Counter Strike and Crashday plus an insane Star Wars Marathon in between later...
I woke up. A tiereing but fun weekend was over again. After I got the usual cereals for breakfast I set down to work on one of my theory magic decks. I opened the browser, navigated to the Web page and opened my password manager. I type in the password as usual.
Error: incorrect password.
I retry about 20 times. Each time getting more and more terrified.
WTF? Did I change my password or what?...
Fuck.
Ffuck fuck fuck FUCKK.
I've reset and now forgotten my master password. I completely lost memory of that moment. I'm screwed.
---
Disclaimer: sure it's in my brain, but it's still data right?
I remembered the situation but until today I can't remember which password I set.
Fun fact. I also could not remember the contents of episode 6 by the time we started the movie although I'd seen the movie about 10 - 15 times up to that point. Just brain afk. -
My workplace has been forcing me to work everyday for almost a month now. I've been working at least 8-10 hours from Saturday to Thursday, and 2-3 hours on Friday as well. I'm so exhausted. I can't sleep properly. All I do is work. I have no time left to do things that I want to enjoy. I tried coding today but I'm too exhausted to do it. I was literally at 0 productivity today. I hate seeing my computer now. I don't know how to overcome this especially during the current lockdown situation. The work I do is not valued or appreciated and it's mentally breaking me honestly. I don't know what I want anymore. For sure another job but I need at least a temporary fix till the lockdown is over.
For those who know me or read through my profile, yup it's the same company. The reason I haven't left them even after all this is because this is a really tough time for me financially and I have no other sources of income and right now at my place there are no job opportunities. So the only option is to continue with the existing work place.6 -
Here is my idea for a time machine which can only send one bit of information back in time.
@Wisecrack has asked me about it and I didn’t want to write it in comments because of the character limit.
So here we go.
The DCQE (delayed-choice quantum eraser) is an experiment that has been successfully performed by many people in small scale.
You can read about it on wikipedia but I'll try to explain it here.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
First I need to quickly explain the double slit experiment because DCQE is based on that.
The double slit experiment shows that a particle, like a photon, seems to go through both slits at the same time and interfere with itself as a wave to finally contribute to an interference pattern when hit on a screen. Many photons will result in a visible interference pattern.
However, if we install a detector somewhere between the particle emitter an the screen, so that we know which path the particle must have taken (which slit it has passed through), then there will be no interference pattern on the screen because the particle will not behave as a wave.
For the time machine, we will interpret the interference pattern as bit 1 and no interference pattern as bit 0.
Now the DCQE:
This device lets us choose if we know the path of the particle or if we want wo erase this knowledge. And we can make this decision after the particle hit the screen (that is the "delayed" part), with the help of quantum entanglement.
How does it work?
Each particle send out by the emitter will pass through a crystal which will split it into an entangled pair of particles. This pair shares the same quantum state in space and time. If we know the path of one of the particle "halves", we also know the path of the other one. Remember the knowledge about the path determines if we will see the interference pattern. Now one of the particle "halves" goes directly into the screen by a short path. The other one takes a longer path.
The longer path has a switch that we can operate (this is the "choice" part). The switch changes the path that the particle takes so that it either goes through a detector or it doesn't, determining if it will contribute to the intererence pattern on the screen or not. And this choice will be done for the short path particle-half because their are entangeld.
The path of the first half particle is short, so it will hit the screen earlier.
After that happened, we still have time to make the choice for the second half, since its path is longer. But making the choice also affects the first half, which has already hit the screen. So we can retroactively change what we will see (or have seen) on the screen.
Remember this has already been tested and verified. It works.
The time machine:
We need enough photons to distinguish the patterns on the screen for one single bit of information.
And the insanely difficult part is to make the path for the second half long enough to have something practical.
Also, those photons need to stay coherent during their journey on that path and are not allowed to interact with each other.
We could use two mirrors, to let the photons bounce between them to extend the path (or the travel duration), but those need to be insanely pricise for reasonable amounts of time.
Just as an example, for 1 second of time travel, we would need a path length about the distance of the moon to the earth. And 1 second isn't very practical. To win the lottery we would need at least many hours.
Also, we would need to build the whole thing multiple times, one for each bit of information.
How to operate the time machine:
Turn on the particle emitter and look at the screen. If you see an interference pattern, write down a 1, otherwise a 0.
This is the information that your future you has sent you.
Repeat this process with the other time machines for more bits of information.
Then wait the time which corresponds to the path length (maybe send in your lottery numbers) and then (this part is very important) make sure to flip the switch corresponsing to the bit that you wrote down, so that your past you receives that info in the past.
I hope that helps :)9 -
Microsoft Market:
"You tried a wrong password too many times"
(I know fucker, I made a fucking mistake because I had to restart the pc 20 fucking times already, I've got confused, you pc-fucker)
"The activity is temporarily suspended, try later"
LATER? WHEN? I need to work you moron. Just give me a number!!! 10 minutes? 10 hours? days?
Work on improving security, lazy sod, not on slowing my job.
PS As soon as I can I'll change the password in "ImpotentCrackWhoreFucker8==0-)"6 -
Scheduled my ITIL exam, Getty everything setup and ready to go... log in... exam starts in 1 day and 0 hours...
I guess being a day early is better than a day late? -
Working on an Android app for a client who has a dev team that is developing a web app in with ember js / rails. These folks are "in charge" of the endpoints our app needs to function. Now as a native developer, I'm not a hater of a web apps way of doing things but with this particular app their dev teams seems to think that all programming languages can parse json as dynamically as javascript...
Exhibit A:
- Sample Endpoint Documentation
* GetImportantInfo
* Params: $id // id of info to get details of
* Endpoint: get-info/$id
* Method: GET
* Entity Return {SampleInfoModel}
- Example API calls in desktop REST client
* get-info/1
- response
{
"a" : 0,
"b" : false,
"c" : null
}
* get-info/2
- response
{
"a" : [null, "random date stamp"],
"b" : 3.14,
"c" : {
"z" : false,
"y" : 0.5
}
}
* get-info/3
- response
{
"a" : "false" // yes as a string
"b" : "yellow"
"c" : 1.75
}
Look, I get that js and ruby have dynamic types and a string can become a float can become a Boolean can become a cat can become an anvil. But that mess is very difficult to parse and make sense of in a stack that relies on static types.
After writing a million switch statements with cases like "is Float" or "is String" from kotlin's Any type // alias for java.Object, I throw my hands in the air and tell my boss we need to get on the phone with these folks. He agrees and we schedules a day that their main developer can come to our shop to "show us the ropes".
So the day comes and this guy shows up with his mac book pro and skinny jeans. We begin showing him the different data types coming back and explain how its bad for performance and can lead to bugs in the future if the model structure changes between different call params. He matter of factually has an epiphany and exclaims "OHHHHHH! I got you covered dawg!" and begins click clacking on his laptop to make sense of it all. We decide not to disturb him any more so he can keep working.
3 hours goes by...
He burst out of our conference room shouting "I am the greatest coder in the world! There's no problem I can't solve! Test it now!"
Weary, we begin testing the endpoints in our REST clients....
His magic fix, every single response is a quoted string of json:
example:
- old response
{
"foo" : "bar"
}
- new "improved" response
"{ \"foo\" : \"bar\" }"
smh....8 -
Today was not my sharpest day but managed to sit eight hours on this chair with a laptop on my arm leaning. It's very comfortable.
I made a regex interpreter. Three versions, the first one was nicely programmed and functional but found out that it was 16 times slower than the clib one (at least!). Then i found out how extremely fast the clib one was and found out that the compiling to bytecode what they do is extremely effective. So, i've wrote my one bytecode compiler that is faster than theirs. So, the second version was born. After abusing that thing to find out what kinda speeds i could get out of it, it became very unmaintainable, beyond resque. So i made third version, this one is very performant. It supports [abc]{3} (three times dupplicating group) for example. It supports 0-9 and a-z that converts to 'd' and 'a' (shorter for speed). It converts [a0-9a-z]]{3} to [lada][lada][lada]. The bytecode is not smaller many times than source, but not having to think, suits the interpreter very well. It's blazing fast.
I wish I could smth like this for a living. Develop a language for a living or socket servers. Tired of python (great language, but boring).
Thanks for listening to my tedtalk6 -
At work, all errors within the site are logged into our database with a subject and error column. SQL errors are logged in the subject field while the traceback is put in the error column. However, a lot of SQL errors are really large and exceed the max character width of the subject field, causing yet another SQL error, and the cycle repeats. This recursive error has been the bane of my existence, because 1) it times my local dev instance out and 2) the error doesn't end up getting logged because the server both freezes and the error can't be inserted in the database. You can't even begin to imagine how many hours I've wasted trying to find what line I changed cause total and utter failure with absolutely 0 error logging. Next thing on my todo list is to fix this fucking issue since the head dev refuses to get it done.2
-
Someone created a 0-followers private Twitter account and posted something to try out the new views count feature.
It raked dozens of views in a couple hours.
HOW?!?
Source: https://twitter.com/briggityboppity...
It looks like a funny data reverse-engineering exercise, so let's try and figure out what is going on.
Hypothesis 1) it is the OP's own views.
Reasonable, but unlikely if what OP says about not checking it for hours is true.
H2) It's some background job in OP's device that is refreshing OP's own latest tweets, so even without human interaction technically H1 is true. It would be some really shoddy engineering to count eye-less page views, but that's also what managers would demand.
H3) it's some internal Twitter automated function like back up, replication, indexing and word count.
See H2, it would be even dumber to count that as page views.
H4) it's some internal human reviewing for a keyword that could be associated with porn (in this case, "butts"). Really? dozens of humans to review a no-impact single post? They would have to employ hundreds of thousands of reviewers.
H5) it's some page-loading shit, like thousands of similar tweets get stored in the same index hash page and end up counting as a view in all of them every time someone loads the index page. It would be like counting every hit in the namenode as a hit in every data asset in it's Hadoop partition, or every hit in a storage block as a hit in each of it's files.
Duuuumb and kinda like H3.
H6) page views are just a fraud to scam investors. Maybe it's a "most Blockchain transactions are fake" situation, maybe it's a "views get more engagement if you don't think a lot about it" situation, maybe it's a "we don't use the metric system to count page views" situation.
All of them are very dumb.
Other hypothesis or opinions?7 -
Continuation of the issue I had yesterday, and a realization of just HOW FRICKING STUPID C++ could be. Basically, yesterday my code for class was skipping a line of user input code, I checked the code for hours to see if I missed anything, if anything was out of scope, both input's I was using were back to back and absolutely identical all the way from the implementation both equaling "\0" and I couldn't figure why only one of the input lines were being ignored. Out of desperation posted the code on here (see my last post). Welp, I finally fixed it, and BOY AM I SO SIMPLE. cin.ignore().
TL;DR
Dumb issue, dumb solution (in my opinion)2 -
people with 8+ years of work from office experience, is 9-6 the only truth of work life? today in sprint planning, our manager suggested assigning 81 hours of tickets in a 2 week sprint and when a lot of us had 60-65 hours of work he was like "ehh it seems less . junior mgr , look into the softwares and create more tickets"
2 week sprint is 9 days +1 day for sprint planning + 2 sat Sunday 🥲 . additionally it takes me arohnd 2 hours to reach home so i try to get out by 5 pm and everyone starts staring at me. as am a bad example, i will probably be hearing from my manager in future about this.
need some tips on handling a stable work-office life. i am a covid graduate so i have seen a great wlb in work from home but its a true reality that for mext 30 years , the chances to work from home for more than 5 cumulative years is next to 0. so need a permanent office hack.
i don't think buttering boss's ass is a reliable solution . i just wanna be back at home by 7, do some workout, roam in car/watch series/work on hobby project (aka relaxing) eat and die on my bed for next day's horrific life11 -
Today salesmen gave me some recommendations about my "so hardly optimized" SQL queries..suggestin me to change em.. I said okay, let's execute these.. 10 hours later, their computers sql workbenches finally displayed the fucking first one.
Result: 0 row... 🤐2 -
My specialization exam is over hurray! But what now? Went from working 30+ hours a week to 0.
Never have i felt so empty, from coming home feeling tired and a need to relax with games to just existing.
I literally got home, stared at my desktop for about an hour, and then began work on one of my friends exam projekt... I think I'm broken :p1 -
>be me
>some months ago
>apply for a node.js job, send them my resume with links to my git repos
>get an interview, they tell me they appreciate my additional android dev experience cause they be working on an app.
>think to myself "oh nice, imma get this job!"
>"Anon, we gonna test you, ok?"
>"okay no problem"
>I prepare for both node and android but mostly node
>test day arrives, I'm hyped
>test is actually to make a maps android app in 8 hours
>wat?!
>do it anyway, achieving some functionalities
>a couple of weeks after
>I email them, asking news
>they basically say "oh we sent you a message on skype to tell we continued with another person as a backend dev because they had a better android app"
>log into skype
>0 messages
>mfw pic related
6 -
When you are installing a macOS update on a 2016 Macbook Pro and it is stuck on “About 0 seconds remaining” for 3 hours...2
-
So soon I'm gonna apply for a really basic web dev job. Pay will be discussed in the interview but it's not a lot of hours its once a week, I can stay home, it wont interfere with my college schedule or my schedule in general, it will give me job experience since I've never had a job before, itll give me a sneak peak of what the paid dev world is like. Also it raises my wage from 0 to whatever we decide on per hour. The only one really proud of me is my teacher of 3 years now. But this will just be until I get out of college because it's a comfy schedule1
-
Check out my current scenario:
I have to show some progress in fixing a bug to management in the morning..
I tried to sleep early, so that I cud fix it before the standup..
but I couldn't sleep, so I thought of fixing the issue now itself..
Sat down to fix, got stuck with a stupid blocking issue, did all the wrong things to debug it, wasted 3 hours, found the issue fix (not related to the main bug at all)
nd now going to sleep..
It's like:
Distance covered = 1000kms
Displacement = 0!!!!4 -
The amount of energy spent to just write ‘Hi’ and click a send button is so big that we should consider banning of sending hi messages.
Instead of just saying “Hi!” we are now using analog to digital preprocessors that convert it to bunch of 0 and 1 to send it over communication layer and deliver it to other human being that will convert it from digital to analog by reading it but that is simple.
By sending message using phone we also:
- save it to local phone
- convert it to couple protocols
- transmit it over air so make connection to internet provider services that would generate logs on this provider as well as whole routing table before it gets to the target person
- save it on messaging provider disk
- probably be processed by filters by provider, sometimes be reviewed or listened by third parties and also processed in bulk by artificial intelligence algorithms
- finally delivered to target phone and saved there where that person would just change this text to their inner voice and save it
- sometimes encrypted and decrypted
- sometimes saved on provider
- sometimes saved on phone manufacturer cloud backup
- don’t get me started on people involved to keep this infrastructure in place for you just to say hi
There are also some indirect infinite possibilities of actions for example:
- emit sound and light that can lead to walking from one room to other
- the floor in your house is destroyed cause of it so you need to renovate your floor
- sound can expose your position and kill you if you’re hiding from attacker
- sound can wake you up so you wake up in different hours
- it can stop you from having sex or even lead to divorce as a result simple hi can destroy your life
- can get you fired
- can prevent from suicide and as a result you can make technology to destroy humans
and I can write about sound and light all day but that’s not the point, the point is that every invention makes life more complicated, maybe it saves time but does it really matter ?
I can say that every invention we made didn’t make world simpler. The world is growing with complexity instead.
It’s just because most of those inventions lead to computer that didn’t make our world simpler but made it more complicated.1 -
Damn it!!! Fuck! That's 2 hours of my life I'm never getting back... FUCK!
{"op":"replace","path":"/spec/template/spec/containers/0/resources/limit/cpu","value":"4.0"}9 -
I am not a php dev and I have nearly 0 knowledge of php. All I know about php is that xampp is your friend and you have to write that $ everywhere. But that one day I had to setup phpLDAPadmin on apache2.
I have nothing against php, but I just don't want to have anything in common, since I'm just perfectly fine with my java.
So I had to make it work. Fought my way through different incompatible versions of php and phpldapadmin only to see "not found" on phpldapadmin.
I thought, like, wtf?? Especially when index.php of apache2 is displaying just fine? I mean, I can "edit" some php code, but configs and php setups are just something like out of my world. Tried setuping it on different vms - same result. I've buried way too many hours into this with no result. Finally I gave up and contacted a friend of mine which is like php god for me. He did same thing as I did in ~ 10 mins, but the result was the same. Tweaked some configs - same. Scratched his head, sat for 5 more minutes, did something and boom - it works!
I've asked him, what is that php magic and the answer killed me:
"Index.html was missing"
At that moment I just wanted to exit through the window. Sadly, there were no way to open it.
Yes, I am this stupid in php. But I still miss all these wasted hours...2 -
I am forced to work with a client's notoriously slow SOAP api. Slow in this case is 1.5-2s per request.
The api is structured rather... creatively... at the same time. So we have to bombard it with thousands of requests to build our data base with historical SOAP data. Also the data sometimes is a couple of hours late, giving a flat line (all values at 0) until retroactively fixing the output for the same requests.
So to fill one dev data base with a year's worth of historical data (nice to have when testing a dashboard application) we hammer the api with ~20k requests (~1 million if we want to be thorough).
Best thing about that: There is no staging/test api and the prod api seems not to handle lots of requests at the same time very well...
Latest thought: Maybe we could put a varnish cache in front of the SOAP for testing. Better have wrong data, than nothing at all and we don't kill the prod clients every time we ramp up a new instance.
Also that would dramatically decrease the 4.2 hours of data pumping to about 7 minutes after the first run. -
TLDR; windows sucks donkey balls
Sometime ago I started to get battery issues on my laptop using windows. Even with 100% charge it would soon display 0% when unplugged.
A few months back I switched to linux on my laptop and on my desk station. And to my surprise, battery issues dissapeared while using linux (manjaro i3). Anybody had that same problem?
Anyway I dual boot win 10 and linux just in case I'd need windows, and this week I noticed my root parition didn't have any space left.
For the next few hours I'm in a car so I thought hey great time to reinstall linux with a bigger root partition. I already had reinstalled windows, and with all the bloat removed, I could shrink my windows partition to make more space for linux.
Now all I need to do is prepare a usb stick with the manjaro iso. I could do that in linux, but since reinstalling windows killed my grub bootloader I couldn't boot up manjaro.
Right, so in windows I go and want to create this bootable EFI usb stick from the manjaro iso. Now the battery issue kicks in again, stating 0%. But with luck, the usb creation finished without my machine dying. Now I just need to restart my laptop and boot from the usb and .... Crap. my Laptop doesn't boot up anymore
-_-
Now i need to wait for a plug to be able to power it up again. Once I boot from the usb I'm sure I could use the laptop some more hours until the battery is actually dead. Fuck windows3 -
After learning a bit about alife I was able to write
another one. It took some false starts
to understand the problem, but afterward I was able to refactor the problem into a sort of alife that measured and carefully tweaked various variables in the simulator, as the algorithm
explored the paramater space. After a few hours of letting the thing run, it successfully returned a remainder of zero on 41.4% of semiprimes tested.
This is the bad boy right here:
tracks[14]
[15, 2731, 52, 144, 41.4]
As they say, "he ain't there yet, but he got the spirit."
A 'track' here is just a collection of critical values and a fitness score that was found given a few million runs. These variables are used as input to a factoring algorithm, attempting to factor
any number you give it. These parameters tune or configure the algorithm to try slightly different things. After some trial runs, the results are stored in the last entry in the list, and the whole process is repeated with slightly different numbers, ones that have been modified
and mutated so we can explore the space of possible parameters.
Naturally this is a bit of a hodgepodge, but the critical thing is that for each configuration of numbers representing a track (and its results), I chose the lowest fitness of three runs.
Meaning hypothetically theres room for improvement with a tweak of the core algorithm, or even modifications or mutations to the
track variables. I have no clue if this scales up to very large semiprime products, so that would be one of the next steps to test.
Fitness also doesn't account for return speed. Some of these may have a lower overall fitness, but might in fact have a lower basis
(the value of 'i' that needs to be found in order for the algorithm to return rem%a == 0) for correctly factoring a semiprime.
The key thing here is that because all the entries generated here are dependent on in an outer loop that specifies [i] must never be greater than a/4 (for whatever the lowest factor generated in this run is), we can potentially push down the value of i further with some modification.
The entire exercise took 2.1735 billion iterations (3-4 hours, wasn't paying attention) to find this particular configuration of variables for the current algorithm, but as before, I suspect I can probably push the fitness value (percentage of semiprimes covered) higher, either with a few
additional parameters, or a modification of the algorithm itself (with a necessary rerun to find another track of equivalent or greater fitness).
I'm starting to bump up to the limit of my resources, I keep hitting the ceiling in my RAD-style write->test->repeat development loop.
I'm primarily using the limited number of identities I know, my gut intuition, combine with looking at the numbers themselves, to deduce relationships as I improve these and other algorithms, instead of relying strictly on memorizing identities like most mathematicians do.
I'm thinking if I want to keep that rapid write->eval loop I'm gonna have to upgrade, or go to a server environment to keep things snappy.
I did find that "jiggling" the parameters after each trial helped to explore the parameter
space better, so I wrote some methods to do just that. But what I wouldn't mind doing
is taking this a bit of a step further, and writing some code to optimize the variables
of the jiggle method itself, by automating the observation of real-time track fitness,
and discarding those changes that lead to the system tending to find tracks with lower fitness.
I'd also like to break up the entire regime into a training vs test set, but for now
the results are pretty promising.
I knew if I kept researching I'd likely find extensions like this. Of course tested on
billions of semiprimes, instead of simply millions, or tested on very large semiprimes, the
effect might disappear, though the more i've tested, and the larger the numbers I've given it,
the more the effect has become prevalent.
Hitko suggested in the earlier thread, based on a simplification, that the original algorithm
was a tautology, but something told me for a change that I got one correct. Without that initial challenge I might have chalked this up to another false start instead of pushing through and making further breakthroughs.
I'd also like to thank all those who followed along, helped, or cheered on the madness:
In no particular order ,demolishun, scor, root, iiii, karlisk, netikras, fast-nop, hazarth, chonky-quiche, Midnight-shcode, nanobot, c0d4, jilano, kescherrant, electrineer, nomad,
vintprox, sariel, lensflare, jeeper.
The original write up for the ideas behind the concept can be found at:
https://devrant.com/rants/7650612/...
If I left your name out, you better speak up, theres only so many invitations to the orgy.
Firecode already says we're past max capacity!5 -
FUCK ME IN MY INDICES.
FUCK THE GPUS IN THEIR INDICES.
I mean... I understand (roughly) why the meshes are sent to gpu in this form, but at the same time...
...there's a reason why first thing I did when I was coding my procedural geometry generation library, was abstracting away all of that stuff...
...sadly, as many useful things, when I was looking for that lib on the start of this contract, I couldn't find it. and I was like "doesn't matter, this is a simple thing, using the library would be just a lazy overkill anyway".
well, fuck.
two hours of playing around with two fucking triangles, trying to figure out which indexes are pointing to the correct vertices in a list containing FOUR outline paths.
(lower inner, upper inner, lower outer, upper outer, exacly in this order).
i mean, yeah, it's actually pretty straightforward stuff... for someone not as dumb as me =D
you just have two offsets, one that jumps you to start of the upper path, another that jumps you to the start of the outer path, then it's just
0 + upOffset to get the vertex extruded upwards from the zeroth of the inner path, or
0 + outOffset to get the zeroth from the outer outline, or
0 + outOffset + upOffset, to get the one extruded from zeroth outer vertex...
and so on.
simple stuff, then you just replace the zero with loop control var, put them in the right order, and voilá! walls!
except... whatever, why am I describing in such detail, not necessary, you're not my rubber duck =D
in short, figuring out which fuckin vertex is which, when the list contains ...well, any number of points, and you need to plug the gap between last and first points of the paths, where you need to wrap around the list...
...has proven to be surprisingly hard for me.
funny how much I love doing these things with meshes, despite how bad I am at doing them, which makes me hate doing them despite loving it =D2 -
bitter reflections from a bitter dev on hacktoberfest this year (in the past 2 hours of trying to find issues my IQ has at least halved):
- DefinitelyTyped - used to be my bread and butter to complete hacktoberfest; now, not sure if actual issue, or person just doesn't know how to use typescript (found a multiple such issues that were actually non-issues, the type they were asking for was right there, no pull request needed)
- avoid "issues" on no code / low code tools, these are toxic issues with titles like "I EXPLAIN BUG HERE", then probably not even a bug / more a feature request or clueless clown
- if your entire contributor team has the same character styled profile pic + background, i can't take you seriously; if your identity is so closely tied with what github team you are on... uh, i mean cmon what is this kindergarten? (also love the fact that an anon managed to get themselves mixed in hahahaha they ruined it perfectly!)
- most 'hacktoberfest' issue finders themselves are broken or don't load anything
- people claim issues and then never return YAWN
- the hacktoberfest discord: the projects channel is mostly people promoting their garbage repo WHICH HAS 0 OPEN ISSUES IN THE FIRST PLACE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and then OTHER people promoting their own portfolio on hacktoberfest???!! 😂😂😂😂 yeah bro i'm gonna help you with your own portfolio site GTFO
from what i've seen, i think i can start working approximately 5 minutes a day and be more successful than these absolute 🎪🤡🤹♂️ devs
sure, there is being a beginner, and there is being a clown salesmen trying to get people to do work for you... i mean wtf is going on
i WANT to help and contribute, but this year its really a struggle to find anything worthwhile to contribute to!
somehow the spark is gone... this might be my last Hacktoberfest... let me just return to my wisky and be in peace
4 -
Upgraded to Ubuntu 17.04 and now Ubuntu freezes at login screen. It's been more than 3 hours and 0 progress.4
-
Loving inaccurate documentation...
And it's from a big company as well!
Reset value: 0x0000007F
I didn't get it to work for several hours.
And then I checked...
The actual value it gets reset to is 0.
Just 0. -
I just spent 4 (four) hours debugging why my perlin noise used the same gradient for every point. Turns out I forgot to assign the seed for the random generator so it defaulted to 0. (I seed it every round with the map seed and coordinates so I don't have to store anything for visited regions)
So, how's your sunday night going? -
Batteries don't like me anymore
Yesterday late evening I was out to bring a festive parcel to someone. I left home with 29% batt, went there and still had 27%. Made 3 short (~1min) calls and headed home. Opened Firefox and my phone crashed. WTF, how could FF crash Android? OS separation failure? I turn my phone back on and it says LOW BATTERY: 0%. wtf... With 27% I should have been good until the next morning with no problems! And now it went 27%→0% in a blink (literally).
Today I decided to stay on my lappy for the morning. YT videos to catch up to, dR posts to scroll through, etc. A few hours later laptop battery is drained down to 29%. I step away for a few minutes for a cup of coffee and when I come back - the battery indicator LED is glowing amber and OS says it's got 6% left
29%→6% in a few moments of idle. Riigghhhhttt.... And I thought I won't want anything for this Christmas.
I wonder what's the significance of 27/29% there...3 -
Okay, so...
We have backend app written in phalcon 3.4.
I got task to prepare new test enviroment, based on ubuntu 20.04, php 7.4 and 'copy-paste' our Phalcon backend there.
Soooo.. That backend was outsourced and I have exacly 0 Phalcon expirience.
Phalcon 3.4 does not support php 7.4
Last 2 days Im tearing my hair out to port it over to Phalcon 4, with honorable mention why the fuck memcache didnt just want to work, and finally its working.
Now Im taking the heat that making new test enviroment takes more than few hours.
Fuck off, let me do this shit, and understand its not just apt-getting dependencies for fuck sakes.2 -
So I wrote these E2E tests to test my credit card expiration notification emails. So I wrote my code, and tested it. Tests failed. I spent the next 6 hours (spanning 2 days) debugging my tests. Come to find out that the tests were fine all along. The issue was my code.
Apparently everything has dates starting at 1 (day starts at 1, year starts at 1). But MONTHS. Months start at 0 -
Hey guys.
So, got tired of trying to learn on top of the knee (Portuguese expression) and decided to do some courses to get the basics.
Where do you recommend I go?
1. Course must be free
2. Not over 100 hours per course (I'll have 1 to 2 hours a day if I really focus on it)
What I need:
Language (lvl of knowledge)
- Python (know the basics) + kivy (basics)
- Html (good) + css (basics) + javascript (basics)
- node.js (0)
- Jquery ( 0 ) + Django (0)
I know there's lots of good courses out there and lots of dumb stupid ones, care to give your opinion? Thank you5 -
So I got an assignment for literature class to make and present some sort of creative project about transcendentalism. Time suggestion: 2-3 hours of work. 10 hours later, I have a videogame with 0 polish that I can convice the professor is about transcendentalism. I regret nothing.2
-
Similar to how some measure distance to the city with time or km, do you prefer measuring a job with hours or money?
Ex[0]: this is a 20k job.
Ex[1]: this is a 40h job.2 -
This is a fucking nightmare i still dont have internet connection ever since the shitstorm happened because of incompetent FUCKTARDS WHO CANT FIX THE FUCKING INTERNET IN THE WHOLE FUCKING COUNTRY ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING MEEEEEEE
ALMOST 48 HOURS OF NO INTERNET FEELS LIKE I WAS A DRUG ADDICT WHO FORCEFULLY STOPPED DRUGS AND NOW IM HAVING CRISIS AND IM NERVOUS AS FUCK WHAT THE FUCK BRO I CANT EVEN CODE ON LOCALHOST BECAUSE I HAVE NO FUCKING INTERNET YOU FUCKING PIECE OFF SHITTTTT
SERBIA IS THE WORST SHITHOLE TRASHHOLE CUNT HOLE HORSECUM COUNTRY ON THIS FUCKING PLANET EVER
PLEASE NEVER EVEN VISIT SERBIA. ONLY GO TO SERBIA IF YOUR IQ IS BELOW 75 AND YOU DONT WANT TO DO ANYTHING IN LIFE BUT SIT BACK CHILL AND EARN BETWEEN $0 AND $300 PER MONTH16 -
I'm doing a project for uni in Omnet (C++ framework that should facilitate working with networks of queues, simulating and displaying statistics).
I needed to retrieve a random value from an exponential distribution, and the function to do so requires a random number generator as input. The framework has 2 implementations of the RNG and I picked the first one.
I spent 3 hours trying every possible thing, using both the exponential() function and its class wrapper (both provided by the framework), it was always returning 0 or NaN.
The RNG was spitting out values correctly, so I thought it was okay.
When I was almost ready to give up, I figured I could try and change to the second implementation of RNG, expecting nothing to change. And it fucking worked.
Zero reports on this behavior on Google, no apparent reason why it would work with one and not with the other when the two RNGs literally implement the same abstract class and spit out the same exact numbers... Just black magic...
Oh and cherry on top, it works with the raw function but not with the class wrapper on that same function... IF YOU GOTTA IMPLEMENT SOMETHING IN YOUR DAMN FRAMEWORK THAT DOESN'T WORK, FUCKING DON'T! 1 combination working out of 4 is not good! Or at least document it!
Sorry just had to share my pain -
Tomorrow i have to go into the office and work for 8 hours for $0/hour, building a project that includes backend in java, bash scripting, ci/cd and building the whole devops infrastructure and deploying that backend on cloud provider through terraform docker kubernetes, aside from being tested in theory for those 8 hours in-person,
all of this as a form of 1 technical interview after which they will decide if they move forward with me or reject me.
Do you think this is fair?7 -
I fucking hate the person that created the ionic timepicker its such a fucking mess if you want to do anything advanced and it's so poorly documented that most of the time you just have to guess what you should do. Best part: this fucking component doesn't even use a Date Object it uses A FUCKING STRING that it parses, so I have to parse, unparse, parse, unparse. Who in their right mind thought this would be a good idea?!
What frustrated me the most was when I tried to use their min, max functionality. I used the component as a timepicker, so I ignored most of the Date Object and just initliazed them at 0. Afterwards set the hr, min, sec and did the same for the max value. Doesn't work... It just bugs out and I can only pick midnight of that day... Okay. I kid you not: tried for two hours to fix this shit. Console logged the crap out of that thing. Everything seemed right. Out of frustration I then just initlialized the max value like normal, so the date is the current date. AND SUDDENLY IT FUCKING WORKED. WHY?! FUCKING NOBODY KNOWS. WHO, WHY, WHAT?! -
so late hours, and after a 2h MySQL server transference that should take no more than 15min...
looking in to PSR-0/4 PHP code standards
I'm gonna print them all and smack all coworkers with it in the morning! -
Here I am, 3:18 am, maybe I won't sleep today either, I hope I do... I'm going on with my uni project, a data science project. I've been wasting hours trying to understand why the fUcK 2 dataframes give me substantially different performances when they fucking shouldn't, since they should be the fUcKing sAmE. But apparently pandas is making fun of me... it seems that if you do something like:
df=original_df.loc[:, [some_cols]]
and some columns in [some_cols] don't exist in original_df, pandas won't give a shit and create a NaN column, or 0 based on how many virgin leprechauns ate bananas for Thanksgiving.
Plus I'm fucking freezing, in this apartment the heating system turns off at 23:59, it makes sense if you're in the fucking bed where you'll be fucking warm.
I miss software development... I wanna finish this MSc as soon as possible.
And here I am, listening to post-rock, writing jupyter notebooks, trying to be fucking positive.
It's not like I hate data science (maybe?), but I'm burnout.
Maybe I'll rewatch another time the video of Mr Robot with the song Where Is My Mind.
See ya.2 -
>making bruteforce MD5 collision engine in Python 2 (requires MD5 and size of original data, partial-file bruteforce coming soon)
>actually going well, in the ballpark of 8500 urandom-filled tries/sec for 10 bytes (because urandom may find it faster than a zero-to-FF fill due to in-practice files not having many 00 bytes)
>never resolves
>SOMEHOW manages to cut off the first 2 chars of all generated MD5 hashes
>fuck, fixed
>implemented tries/sec counter at either successful collision or KeyboardInterrupt
>implemented "wasted roll" (duplicate urandom rolls) counter at either collision success or KeyboardInterrupt
>...wait
>wasted roll counter is always at either 0% or 99%
>spend 2 hours fucking up a simple percentage calculation
>finally fixed
>implement pre-bruteforce calculation of maximum try count assuming 5% wasted rolls (after a couple hours of work for one equation because factorials)
>takes longer than the bruteforce itself for 10 bytes
this has been a rollercoaster but damn it's looking decent so far. Next is trying to further speed things up using Cython! (owait no, MicroPeni$ paywalled me from Visual Studio fucking 2010)4 -
So today I was asked to make a 2 programs, one to send socket data to the Android either through wireless or through the USB and the program on the Android to receive that data and send an SMS according to the data .....
Through Wireless was working like a charm, through USB required to use the adb to do some forwarding ... done that and the Android keep's receiving the data without any info inside .... after a few hours of searching and 0 info (even asked on stackoverflow 0 anwsers) so I just decided to insert a System.Threading.Thread.Sleep(250); after the Connection is done when its chosen the Cable on the GUI ... and now its working -.-2 -
It's the top of Round #6, the score is:
CI-Pipeline with 5 points, and the developer with 0. Remember, these rounds are 20 minutes long. Let's see if the developer can get a point before the end of the first two hours.1 -
Rubber ducking your ass in a way, I figure things out as I rant and have to explain my reasoning or lack thereof every other sentence.
So lettuce harvest some more: I did not finish the linker as I initially planned, because I found a dumber way to solve the problem. I'm storing programs as bytecode chunks broken up into segment trees, and this is how we get namespaces, as each segment and value is labeled -- you can very well think of it as a file structure.
Each file proper, that is, every path you pass to the compiler, has it's own segment tree that results from breaking down the code within. We call this a clan, because it's a family of data, structures and procedures. It's a bit stupid not to call it "class", but that would imply each file can have only one class, which is generally good style but still technically not the case, hence the deliberate use of another word.
Anyway, because every clan is already represented as a tree, we can easily have two or more coexist by just parenting them as-is to a common root, enabling the fetching of symbols from one clan to another. We then perform a cannonical walk of the unified tree, push instructions to an assembly queue, and flatten the segmented memory into a single pool onto which we write the assembler's output.
I didn't think this would work, but it does. So how?
The assembly queue uses a highly sophisticated crackhead abstraction of the CVYC clan, or said plainly, clairvoyant code of the "fucked if I thought this would be simple" family. Fundamentally, every element in the queue is -- recursively -- either a fixed value or a function pointer plus arguments. So every instruction takes the form (ins (arg[0],arg[N])) where the instruction and the arguments may themselves be either fixed or indirect fetches that must be solved but in the ~ F U T U R E ~
Thusly, the assembler must be made aware of the fact that it's wearing sunglasses indoors and high on cocaine, so that these pointers -- and the accompanying arguments -- can be solved. However, your hemorroids are great, and sitting may be painful for long, hard times to come, because to even try and do this kind of John Connor solving pinky promises that loop on themselves is slowly reducing my sanity.
But minor time travel paradoxes aside, this allows for all existing symbols to be fetched at the time of assembly no matter where exactly in memory they reside; even if the namespace is mutated, and so the symbol duplicated, we can still modify the original symbol at the time of duplication to re-route fetchers to it's new location. And so the madness begins.
Effectively, our code can see the future, and it is not pleased with your test results. But enough about you being a disappointment to an equally misconstructed institution -- we are vermin of science, now stand still while I smack you with this Bible.
But seriously now, what I'm trying to say is that linking is not required as a separate step as a result of all this unintelligible fuckery; all the information required to access a file is the segment tree itself, so linking is appending trees to a new root, and a tree written to disk is essentially a linkable object file.
Mission accomplished... ? Perhaps.
This very much closes the chapter on *virtual* programs, that is, anything running on the VM. We're still lacking translation to native code, and that's an entirely different topic. Luckily, the language is pretty fucking close to assembler, so the translation may actually not be all that complicated.
But that is a story for another day, kids.
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Dear fucking MicroSoft,
I really like the C# language, but the default System types have some little fucks up.
Like, if the DateTime.ToString() accepts "HH" to display hours with leading 0, WHY THE FUCK DOESN'T TimeSpan.ToString()?
Truly yours,
ZioCain6 -
everytime i try to learn kotlin, i can only think WTF is happening, why should it be happening?
after wasting last 4 hours, i came to this conclusion table regarding kotlin var and val notation.
And now my fucking compiler is saying that i can rather write :
val x:Int
and initialize it later, when i thought val is immutable and must be initialized at the beginning only(like public static final int x =5)
Who the fuck are those people that like this stupid language? why would you say some variable as immutable(meaning which can be changed 0 Times "ONCE" ASSIGNED A VALUE ) and when i can create a program with a variable that never got ASSIGNED A VALUE EVEN ONCE??
10 -
3 hours later I discover why my unset destroyed our json.
"When encoding an array, if the keys are not a continuous numeric sequence starting from 0, all keys are encoded as strings, and specified explicitly for each key-value pair."
Thanks obama.1 -
Today I learned how to read extract and parse a multi lvl XML file in Perl, only took 4 hours to make the script from 0 knowledge of Perl.
-
Previously, I half-assedly theorized that, given a timeline on which I'd store state mutations, with each mutation being an action taken ingame by either the player or computer, I could feasibly construct a somewhat generative narrative engine.
Basis: the system reads the current state, builds [some structure] holding possible choices, and prompts the player to take an action from those choices. The action modifies the state, and the loop begins anew, save that now it's the system "prompting itself", so to speak.
Utterly barebones and abstract as it may be, it was useful to build this concept in my head as it gave me a way to reason about what I wanted to build. But there were two problems which I had to grapple with:
- What would [some structure] even be?
- How would the computer make choices based on an instance of [some structure]?
I found myself striking the philosopher pose for long hours on the toilet, deeply pondering these questions which I couldn't help but merge into one due to the shared incognita; silly brain wanted trees but I kept figuring out that's not going to work as the relationships between symbols are sometimes but not always hierarchical. Shhh, silly brain, it's not trees.
So what is the answer?
Well, can you guess it?
Graphs, of course it's fucking graphs. Specifically, a state transition graph. It was right in my face the whole time and I couldn't see it. Well, close enough.
It's ideal as the system in question is a finite state machine with strong emphasis on finite -- the whole point is narrowing down choices, which now that I think about it, can also come down to another graph. Let me explain.
A 'symbol' or rather SIGIL is an individual in-game effect. To this FSM, it's an instruction. Sigils are used to compose actions, which you can think of as an encapsulation of some function, or better yet, an *undoable transaction* which causes some alteration in the game world.
But to form a narrative from a sequence of such transactions, and to allow the system to respond to them coherently, relationships need to be established between sigils in a manner that can be reasoned about in code. You may not realize this yet but this is both a language processing and text generation problem, so fuck me.
However, we have a big advantage in that we are not dealing with *natural* language, that is to say, each sigil is a structure from which we can extract valuable information on the nature of the state transformation applied.
This allows us to find relationships between sigils programmatically: two words are related if some comparison between the underlying structure -- and the transformation it describes -- holds true. Therefore, if we take the sigils that compose the last transformation in the timeline, fetch relationships for said sigils according to a given criteria, then eliminate all immediate relationships that are not shared between all members of the group, we end up with a new one that can be utilized as starting point to construct a reply.
More elimination of possibilities would have to be performed as this reply is constructed [*], but the point is that because the context (timeline) is itself made of previous transforms, the system *could* make such a reply coherent, or at the very least internally consistent.
Well... in the world of half-assed theory. I don't know whether I'm stupid, insane, both, pad for alignment, or this is an actual breakthrough. Maybe none of the above.
Anyway, it's another way to mentally model the problem which is very useful. New challenge would be the text generation part, extremely high chance of gibberish within existing vision; need more potty-pondering.
[*]: I'll break it into bits OK.
0. Determine intention. That's right, the reply isn't actually _fully_ generated, it's just making variations on a template. So pick a template depending on who is taking a turn and replying to who (think companion relationship score bullshit)
1. Sort the new group according to the number of connections the constituent sigils had to the context from which they were extracted, higher first.
2. Pop from the sorted group (least connections). If there are other nodes left in the group, and it doesn't connect back to any of the other nodes (sigils) up to a certain distance, then discard it and repeat. Else keep going.
2. Unshift from the sorted group (most connections). If can traverse up to another sigil in the same group, then go for it. Else derive search criteria from current context (including intention), so as to look for another sigil to concatenate. Some form of weighting would be needed here, need to think about that.
3. Decide when to stop. Probably some chance, as in the more sigils you have, the lower the chance a new one will be added maybe. Need to think about this too.
4. Send transform, loop begins anew.
And that's it. So alright brb I'm going to take a dump on the Agora.14 -
TL;DR how much do I charge?
I'm freelancing for the first time; regularly, I get paid a salary.
I'm freelancing as a donation: the hours I put into this work directly translate to deductions in my tax. I don't get paid any money directly.
I'm doing some web-based enterprise software for an organization. Handling the whole process from writing responsive front-end code to setting up the server and domain for them and even managing myself. So full stack plus dev ops.
My normal salary is $31 an hour and at work I do less. I largely do maintenance for existing applications plus some very minor new systems design. I don't do any server management (different team) and I damn well didn't buy the domain names for my company. So I think it's safe to say I'm taking on a drastically larger role in this freelance gig.
My moral dilemma is the organization will basically say yes to any price - because they don't pay it, the government will (up until the point I pay 0 taxes, I suppose)
I've done some minor research on what other freelancers charge for somewhat similar things and I get pretty wildly varying results. I've seen as low as $20/hr but I really doubt the quality of such a service at that price.
I'm thinking around $50 USD an hour would be a fair price. For even further reference besides my actual salary, I will say that I am in a urban / suburban part of Florida, where developers are very hard to find locally.
Is $50 too high? Too low? This is a very complicated system with (frankly excessive) security practices and features. Before this they had a handful of excel spreadsheets in a OneDrive folder.7 -
This got me fucked up. Listen yo.
So we have this issue on our modal right. The issue keeps poppin. It's a hotfix because its in prod. So my senior and I were on it. After a few hours, I showed him the part of the code that is buggy. It's 50 lines of code of nested if-else, else-if. And so we're still fighting it. He redid everything since we're using angular2 he did a subject, behavior-subject all that bs and I was still trying to understand what's the bug, because it's happening on the second click and so I did my own thing and found the cause bug and showed it to him, its this:
setTimeout( () => {}, 0)
the bootstrap-modal doesn't allow async inside it (I dont why, its in the package). So he explained to me why it's there. So I did my own thing again and find a workaround which I did, a one-line of angular property, showed it to him he didn't accept it because we'll still have to redo it with subjects and he was on it. I said ok. Went back to my previous issue. The director came in and ask for a fixed, my senior came up to me and told me to push my fix. Alright no problem. So we good now. Went back to our thing bla bla bla, then got an email that we will have a meeting, So we went, bla bla bla. The internal team wants a support for mobile, senior said no problem bla bla bla, after the meeting he approaches me and said (THIS IS WHERE IT GOT FUCKED UP) we wont be supporting bootstrap4 anymore because of the modal issue and since we're going to support mobile and BOOTSTRAP4 grid system is NONINTUITIVE we are moving to material design because the grid system is easier. I was blown away man. we have more than 100 components and just because of that modal and mobile support shit he decided to abandon bootstrap. Mater of fact its the modal its his code. I'm not expert in frontend but I looked at the material design implementation its the same thing other than the class names. OHHH LAWD!3 -
Time since the last bug caused by blindly copying code in a if/else and forgetting to change a variable: 0 Hours.
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Question about conditioning my new android lithium battery.
I dont understand what's happening with my phone. Have old Xperia Z3 D6603 (running android 6.0 marshmallow).
Had problems with battery since it was not lasting even 5 minutes so bought a new battery from ebay and installed it yesterday.
So first time I put it to my phone it showed that it had 70% of charge. I've read in battery description that I have to discharge the battery and recharge 3 times.
First time I wanted to discharge from 70% to 1% and with a battery discharge app + youtube 1080p videos + wifi signal it took only around 1 hour and phone was at 1%. From 1% till complete discharge it took me extra hour and then phone died.
I plugged it to charge and after 15 minutes it showed that battery now is at 100% (which is insane, it should take 2-3hrs to charge it up to 100%). So I charget it for 2-3 hrs ignoring that it said 100% already.
I discharget it from 100% to 1% in 1 hour and now again phone is stuck at 1% and it took me 2 more hours to discharge phone until battery died completely.
I don't believe that this behaviour will fix itself. How can I fix this problem so that battery percentage would be distributed evenly? Now it drops from 100% to 1% in 1hr and then from 1% to 0% in 2 hrs.3 -
*me trying to fix the preview issue by editing layout file*
*issue gets fixed by clean build*
*me implementing a new feature as per plan*
*suddenly another issue occurs with the items in recycler view*
*tries SO, no related question and me too scared to ask one*
*trying different names, keywords, ids and methods to get atleast some output*
*checks json and recycler adapter, all fine but still the error*
*hello darkness my old friend*
*checks the item layout again with a microscopic look and encounters a 0 added to layout width which makes 95dp to 950dp and hence no output somehow*
*2 hours and sunday mood wasted* -
We’re only random people living in random places, speaking random languages, eating random food, sleeping, studying and working random hours. Traveling to random points on a sphere.
Just random range is different.
Just random stuff happens on crossroads of two random dots and the entropy speed ups or slows down.
Nothing special at all.
Just a finite state machine iteration.
I mean the amount of effort we put into explanation of infinity is outstanding.
What if there is no infinity at all ?
What if infinity is just misunderstanding of our interpretation of the world around us. It’s just pixels, resolution, gaussian splatting, quantum state, you name it.
Hey man the world is flat. Just put it to the 2d space. How many space you need from a simulation perspective where your patient eyes can only see up to certain amount of light particles per second on a shitty lens.
Propose a world optimization techniques by slowing down subject perception, tiredness introduced. Compress memory, sleep introduced. Limit neurons, cpu power assigned. Deploy on cloud - put it to life. Exit 0 body failure. Exit 1 suicide. Kill -9 killed by tty from ip EARTH.X.Y
What you can do to make the world around this planet alive? Make it blink.
We developers are lazy and I believe that nature is even more lazy than us.
You think you’re going to elevator right now ? You’re going to the preloader. Looking at the window equals playing video from playback. Never goes live, just precomputed fsm. Cars, trains, airplains ? Preloaders everywhere. Highways to split traffic to cities and communication. The road and cities planning department is a matrix maintenance department. And don’t get me started about space.
Space is empty because it’s not even finished. So they put it all behind glass called milky way. You know how glass looked 500 years ago ? It was milky so it’s milky way so we don’t see shit.
If the space would be finished I’ll be starting writing this text from mars, finished it and sent from earth but no it’s light years guys, light years is not a second for a matter. Light year is a second of the the injected thoughts exchange only. Thoughts of the global computer called generative AI that they introduced on local computing devices called cloud.
Even the preloader system is not present, they left us with the one map and overpopulated demo. What a shit hole.I bet they’re increasing temperature right now to erase this alpha build and cash out. Obviously so many bugs here that his one can’t be fixed anymore. To many viruses.
Hope for 0days to start happening so we can escape using time travel or something.
I bet they cut a budget or something, moved the team to other projects. Or even worse solar system team got layoff off because we are just neurons that ordered to do it. And now we’re stuck in some maintenance mode, no new physics no new thoughts to pursue, just slow degeneration. I would pay more for the next run and switch to other galaxy far far away where they at lest have more modern light speed technology.
What do you think about it Trinity ? Not even worth wasting your time for that. No white rabbit this time.
I do not recommend this game at this stage of early access.
- only one available map despite promises for expansions over the years no single dlc arrived,
- missing space adventures
- no galaxy travel mode only a teaser trailers of what you can do in other “universes”
- developers don’t respond to complains
- despite diversity of species and buildings at first sight world looks to generic
- instead of new features bots with mind manipulation, AB testing and data harvesting was introduced
- death anti cheat mode installed -
PAGE BREAK AFTER IS FUCKED UP. FML
ok guys, if you have any recommendation or alternative to page-break-after, please let me know. im desperately in need of a goddamn solution.
heres my problem, ive got a table, inside the table is the tbody, now i only want two rows to be displayed in each page (im doing html for pdf docs). so what ive been trying to do is adding <tr class="display:block;page-break-after: always !important"> whenever it meets the condition (rowCount%2!=0).
Ive been trying to figure this out for the last 12 fucking hours. cheesus fucking crust. ik this isnt stackoverflow but stack hasnt really been helpful as well :( FML6 -
Oh yeah ... Java is cool in an utterly sick way even that i can't seem to find a non-retarded built-in stack data structure
Call me a racist, but java.util.Stack has a removeIf() method in case you want to remove odd numbers:
import java.util.Stack;
public class App {
public static void main(String[] args) {
int arr[] = { 2, 4, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19 };
Stack<Integer> s = new Stack<Integer>();
for (int i = 0; i < arr.length; i++) {
s.push(arr[i]);
}
s.removeIf((n) -> (n % 2 == 1));
System.out.println(s); // [2, 4, 16]
}
}
Stop using java.util.Stack they said, a legacy class they said, instead i should use java.util.ArrayDeque, but frankly i can still keep up being racist (in a reversed manner):
import java.util.ArrayDeque;
import java.util.Deque;
public class App {
public static void main(String[] args) {
int arr[] = { 2, 4, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19 };
Deque<Integer> s = new ArrayDeque<Integer>();
for (int i = 0; i < arr.length; i++) {
s.push(arr[i]);
}
s.removeIf((n) -> (n % 2 == 1));
System.out.println(s); // [16, 4, 2]
}
}
The fact that you can iterate through java.util.Stack is amazing, but the ability to insert element in a specified index:
import java.util.Stack;
public class App {
public static void main(String[] args) {
int arr[] = { 2, 4, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19 };
Stack<Integer> s = new Stack<Integer>();
for (int i = 0; i < arr.length; i++) {
s.push(arr[i]);
}
s.add(2, 218);
System.out.println(s); // [2, 4, 218, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19]
}
}
That's what happens when you inherit java.util.Vector, which is only done a BRAIN OVEN person, a very brain oven even that it will revert to retarded
If you thought about using this type of bullshit in Java get yourself prepared to beat the disk for hours when you accidentally call java.util.Stack<T>.add(int index, T element) instead of java.util.Stack<T>.push(T element), you will probably end up breaking the disk or your hand, but not solving the issue
WHY THE F*** CAN'T WE HAVE A WORKING NORMAL STACK ?5 -
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On Facebook, I joined a crypto investment group called Capitalix FX. The manager annually selects the top 30 most active investors to reward with trading packages, including a multi-investor option promising 500% returns. Last year, I was selected despite being only 6 months in. Excited by the opportunity, I gathered funds and made a deposit, as per the company’s terms. A week later, the company website shut down. When I contacted the group admin, she ignored me and eventually removed me after I threatened to report her. Desperate, I sought help from a recovery company to save my family, as we had lost everything.
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I don’t even know where to start, but I feel like I have to share my experience, hoping it will save someone else from making the same mistake I did. A few months ago, I decided to take a big risk and invested my life savings into a platform that promised security, growth, and lucrative returns. Everything seemed perfect at first great user interface, glowing reviews, and even positive recommendations from influencers. My plan was to use the profits to finally make my dream trip to Dubai—a place I’ve always wanted to visit, and I thought the money would give me the freedom to live a better life. But when I tried to make a withdrawal for the first time, everything went downhill. I logged into my account and was suddenly locked out. I tried to reset my password, but nothing worked. I reached out to customer support, but my emails and messages were ignored. It felt like my account had just vanished. As the hours turned into days, I started to panic. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I had trusted this platform with everything. It wasn’t just my savings—it was the chance to finally make my dream a reality. And now, it felt like it was slipping away. I was feeling desperate, helpless, and heartbroken. The worst part? I thought I had lost it all. The platform had promised security, but instead, I was left with nothing. I was furious, devastated, and questioning everything. The idea of never being able to visit Dubai, or even get my money back, was unbearable. But then, through a random post on Reddit, I discovered SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL. Initially, I thought it was just another scam, but after reading about their success stories, I decided to give it a try. I reached out to them on WhatsApp:+1 (971) 4 8 7 -3 5 3 8 OR Telegram:+1 (581) 2 8 6 - 8 0 9 2 , and within days, they began working on my case. To my relief, SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL saved me from financial ruin. They expertly navigated the platform's systems, and after some time, I was finally able to regain access to my account and withdraw my funds. The feeling of relief was indescribable I was finally able to move forward with my plans, including booking my trip to Dubai.
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On a chilly winter night, I discovered the heartbreaking fact that my $52,000 USD bitcoin investment had disappeared. As I struggled to comprehend that my hard-earned money was gone, panic and frustration took over. I had placed my faith in the erratic realm of cryptocurrencies, only to have it collapse. I looked to the internet for a remedy since I was desperate for assistance. At that point, I discovered SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL, a business that specializes in recovering cryptocurrency funds that have been lost. At first, I wasn't sure if they could actually assist me, but their website's evaluations and testimonies gave me hope. I communicated with SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL, outlining my predicament and the sum of money I had lost. They told me that they could assist and, to my relief, reacted quickly. I was first dubious, but at this point, I had nothing to lose. To find the missing bitcoins and apprehend the thieves, the SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL team put in countless hours over the course of the following few weeks. They tracked the digital trail the criminals left behind using state-of-the-art technology and their knowledge of cryptocurrencies. As the days went by, I sensed a spark of optimism starting to grow within of me. I received frequent reports and progress updates from the SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL team, which kept me informed at every stage. Their commitment and professionalism were very impressive. After what seemed like a lifetime, SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL finally gave me the news I had been waiting for: my lost bitcoins had been successfully recovered. It was unbelievable to me. My eyes filled with tears of relief and thankfulness as I expressed my sincere gratitude to the staff for their diligence and hard work. I was beyond grateful for SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL support in recouping my lost investment. Not only had they restored my faith in the world of cryptocurrency, but they had also restored my trust in humanity. Their kindness and determination had saved me from financial ruin and restored my peace of mind. I couldn't stop thanking the team at SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL for their invaluable assistance. They had gone above and beyond to help me, and I would forever be grateful for their expertise and professionalism. As I reflected on the ordeal, I realized that sometimes we need to fall in order to rise stronger than before. The experience had taught me valuable lessons about trust, perseverance, and the power of never giving up. I vowed to be more cautious in my future investments and to always seek professional help when needed. I also made a promise to pay it forward and help others in need, just as SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL had helped me. In the end, I emerged from the ordeal not only with my lost bitcoins recovered, but with a renewed sense of gratitude and a deeper appreciation for the humanity and kindness that still exists in this world. SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL had truly been my saving grace, and I would be forever grateful for their support in my time of need.
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I connected with someone on Instagram who appeared genuine. Our interactions began innocuously, characterised by light-heated banter and shared interests. As days morphed into weeks, we engaged in daily conversations, exchanging personal anecdotes and cultivating a sense of trust. I felt emboldened to divulge sensitive details about my life, convinced I had found a true confidant. However, this misplaced trust would soon lead to a harrowing ordeal.One fateful day, the tone of our exchanges took a sinister turn. The individual I believed I knew transformed into a menacing figure, demanding that I remit 125,000 USDT or face the exposure of my private information. A wave of panic engulfed me as I grasped the potential ramifications of her threats. Fearing the catastrophic fallout from having my personal details unveiled, I reluctantly acquiesced and transferred the funds, hoping this would quell the harassment. Yet, after the transaction, she vanished, blocking me on all platforms. It became painfully evident that I had fallen prey to a sophisticated blackmail and crypto scam.
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The team at Salvage Asset Recovery sprang into action with remarkable efficiency. They commenced by meticulously analysing the blockchain transactions pertinent to my case, employing advanced forensic tools to trace the USDT transfer. Their expertise enabled them to pinpoint the scammer’s wallet and track the funds as they traversed multiple exchanges. Recognising the urgency of the situation, they collaborated with law enforcement and various exchange platforms to freeze the assets before they could be laundered. Within a mere 72 hours, Salvage Asset Recovery successfully located the stolen USDT and initiated a comprehensive recovery process. They provided me with detailed evidence, including transaction logs and the scammer’s digital footprints, which significantly bolstered my case. Thanks to Salvage Asset Recovery unwavering diligence and expertise, I was able to recover the full amount of 125,000 USDT.If you find yourself in a situation similar to mine, where trust has been exploited and you've fallen victim to a scam, I highly recommend reaching out to Salvage Asset Recovery. Their team of experts specialises in cyber security and crypto fraud investigations, and they have a proven track record of successfully recovering stolen assets. If you need help Contact Salvage asset recovery via below =
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Obviously the top item on the table is NN, the "end users" from both sides of the connection on the net are for the saving it, and the middlemen that only own the "cables" want it to be repealed.
We have the solution to end this issue forever. It wont be easy, nor will it be fast.. unless certain "entities" team with us in secrecy. (There's a reason why certain "entities" have stayed silent regarding NN, due to agreements to not get involved due to the risk of backlash. AND if NN is repealed Those Entities cannot fix the problem as their hands are tied to continue to provide content to the end users.) Read between the lines you will understand it will all make sense later.
I will make The Official Public Statement within 24 hours of the FCC Vote. That statement will be how to get involved, help, get us jump started in your area, funding, the ENTIRE details of the plan, goals, and timeline. AS WELL as how to contact us. This will take time and we are not a magic solution that will fix the problem overnight.
We are however THE solution to the underlying problem with ISPs of today. We have been researching for quite a while and digging deep into the entities that have caused us to get where we are now. The further you go digging into 'THEM' the more pissed off you become as you truly realize whats going on and has been on among the ISPs its MUCH deeper than you are being told.
OUR solution will remove all of "them" from the equation completely as well as being faster, and cheaper than the Tier 1 as you wont be paying for the connection or speed, you would be paying for the hardware/overhead cost. AND we will be bringing you closer to the content providers than EVER before.
AND we will be the only solution capable for competing in the current Tier1 Monopoly zones, I promise you they cannot match our plan's price, IF they did it would be only as a loss leader and NOT a sustainable long term solution for those competing with us at are for-profit....
In order for our solution to work, and to keep the internet service non-bias, well non-bias from OUR members :) this will need to be a collective effort, focused one clearly defined vision. WE WILL AND WE MUST ALL set "profits" aside on this as profits in selling nothing other "connection" to the internet has gotten us in the mess we are in now. AND YES we realize profits help maintain and upgrade the infrastructure, BUT that isn't true in this case...Overhead from our view includes those anticipated costs.
Smaller ISPs will need to make a decision, give up profits, become one with us, and be apart of the mission OR they will be left to suffer at the mercy of the ISPs above them setting the cost of bandwidth eventually leading to their demise.
This will happen because we wont be bound by the T1s .... WE would be the "Tier 0" that doesn't exist ;)
This sounds crazy, impossible, BUT its not, it will work WILL happen, regardless of the FCC's vote. as if the FCC choices to keep NN, its only a matter of time till the big lawyers of the ISPs find some loophole, or lobby enough to bring us back to this.
Legistlation is NOT the solution its just a band-aid fix as the cancer continues to grow within.
PLEASE understand that
Until the vote is made, and we release what we are doing, stay put, hang in, it will all be explained later, we are the only true solution.
BIG-ISPs WILL REGRET WHAT THEY HAVE DONE!
What needs to be understood by all is with net neutrality inplace the ability to compete aginst the Tier 1s directly over customers and reinvent the internet to lower or remove costs completely, increase speeds AND expand to underserved/unserved communities ITS NOT POSSIBLE WITH NN
NN REPEAL is the only way to the fixing the problem for good... yes the For profit BIG ISPs will benefit but not forever.. as repealing it opens the doors for outside the box big picture innovators to come in and offer something different, the big ISPs have clearly over looked this small detail being the possibility of a “NonProfit CoOp TIER 1 ISP” entering into the game thru end users and businesses working together as one entity to defeat them... THE FOR PROFIT ISPs over looked this because they are blinded by the profit potential of NN Repeal, never did they consider our option as a possible outcome because no one has attempted it....
We will unite as one
Be the first to know! -stay updated
SnapChat: theqsolution -
Last week I got a call I thought it was a screen interview, but turned to be a technical interview for a job I probably applied for back in 2015.
Today, I got a call for face to face HR interview next week which is going to be in the middle of the day and the company is about 1 hour away from my home/work.
Right now, I am feeling good at my current company. Nice salary, only me and manager but we are hiring, and its close from home.
The other company, is a bigger company, salary is unknown, and working hours are less but if you count driving hours it will be much longer! And work will be related with SharePoint “0 Experience” and Web Developments.
PS: Both companies aren’t tech companies!
Even tho I am happy here, I have this thing inside me that asks me to change jobs and challenge myself learning about new technologies “Or technologies I have never worked with”!
However, If keep doing this I won’t settle and If I find myself stuck at a job I hate and try to move to other companies, they won’t hire me because I keep moving!
I hate overthinking these stuff,
and just need to get it off my shoulders!1 -
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I discovered Cheap Crypto net while searching for a cryptocurrency trading platform that promised lower fees and better arbitrage opportunities than the well-known Binance. Intrigued by the potential for profit, I decided to take a leap of faith and exchanged approximately $45,700.567 worth of USDC for Ethereum. Initially, everything seemed to be going smoothly, and I felt optimistic about my investment. However, when I attempted to transfer my newly acquired Ethereum to my main crypto wallet, I encountered a significant problem. The website repeatedly displayed a message saying, "Trying again…" but my funds remained stuck on Cheap Crypto net. As the minutes turned into hours, panic set in. I began to realize that I might have fallen victim to scammers. Desperate for a solution, I started researching ways to recover my lost funds. That’s when I came across SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY, a service that specializes in helping individuals recover lost or stolen cryptocurrency. Their reputation for assisting victims of scams and fraudulent platforms gave me a glimmer of hope. I reached out to them, explaining my situation and the challenges I faced with Cheap Crypto net. The team at SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY was incredibly responsive and professional. They guided me through the process of documenting my transaction and provided me with the necessary steps to initiate a recovery request. Their expertise in dealing with similar cases was evident, and I felt reassured that I was in capable hands. Within a short period, SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY began their investigation into Cheap Crypto net. They utilized advanced tracking techniques to trace the flow of my funds and identify the scammers behind the platform. Their thorough approach and commitment to helping me recover my lost assets were impressive. After a few days of diligent work, I received the fantastic news that SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY had successfully traced my Ethereum and was able to facilitate its return. I was overjoyed to have my $45,700.567 restored, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the assistance I received. This has taught me a valuable lesson about the importance of conducting thorough research before engaging with new trading platforms. While the allure of lower fees and arbitrage opportunities can be tempting, it’s crucial to prioritize security and reliability. Thanks to SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY, I was able to recover my funds and regain my peace of mind. I promised them that after recovering my assets, I would spread the good news to others who faced similar challenges, ensuring they know there is hope and SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY are available 24/7. CONTACT THEM ON WhatsApp+ 1 8 4 7 6 5 4 7 0 9 62 -
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The winter wind howled outside, rattling my windows as I sat frozen in front of my computer, staring in disbelief. My heart sank as I refreshed the screen, only to be met with a chilling zero balance where my $50,000 Bitcoin investment had once thrived. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead as panic set in. Surely, this had to be a glitch, right? But as I delved deeper, the horrifying reality emerged that I had been hacked. For three agonizing nights, I plunged into a dark abyss of online forums, desperately seeking answers. Most options felt like dead ends, either filled with vague promises or outright scams. Just when I was about to lose hope, I stumbled upon Salvage Asset Recovery. Their presentation and detailed case studies stood out amidst a sea of questionable "crypto recovery experts" who seemed to offer nothing but empty assurances. What caught my attention was their straightforward approach. Unlike others who dazzled with grandiose claims, their team asked pointed questions about my security setup and the timeline of the theft. Michael, their lead investigator, explained their forensic process in layman’s terms, avoiding the technical jargon that often obscures understanding. This honest communication immediately fostered a sense of trust, which was crucial during such a distressing time. The investigation unfolded like a gripping cybercrime thriller. Their team meticulously traced my stolen funds through a complex web of wallet addresses across various blockchains. They uncovered that the hacker had employed a sophisticated service to launder the coins, but Salvage Asset Recovery’s proprietary tracking methods cut through the obfuscation like a hot knife through butter. It was astonishing to witness their expertise in action, as they navigated the intricate landscape of cryptocurrency transactions. After 20 excruciating days, I received the email that would change everything: "We've successfully frozen the assets at an exchange in Estonia." The relief washed over me like a tidal wave, and I sank to my knees in gratitude. Within 72 hours, my Bitcoin was back in my possession, with only a reasonable fee deducted for their services. To anyone facing the same despair I once felt: there is hope. Salvage Asset Recovery are not just technicians; they are digital detectives who blend technology with relentless investigative spirit. They restored not only my funds but also my faith in the cryptocurrency ecosystem, proving that even in the darkest moments, there are heroes ready to help. their contact info
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A clip titled “Joe Rogan Reveals Secret Ethereum Fork” autopay on YouTube, featuring Rogan’s unmistakable voice praising a supposed “ETH 2.0 upgrade” that promised early investors up to 10x returns. Everything about the video seemed authentic, Rogan's casual tone, the familiar podcast studio, and even commentary from a so-called “blockchain expert.” Skeptical but curious, I clicked the link in the video’s description, which led to a sleek, professional-looking website promoting a limited-time ETH fork token presale. The sense of urgency was palpable. The site displayed endorsements from prominent crypto influencers I already followed, blockchain analytics claiming legitimacy, and a countdown timer steadily ticking toward zero. My fear of missing out overrode my usual caution. Convinced I was getting in on something exclusive, I transferred 50 ETH worth nearly $150,000 at the time to the provided wallet address. In return, I received newly minted “ETH2” tokens. For the next 48 hours, I celebrated what I believed was a smart, early-access investment. Then it all unraveled. The ETH2 tokens suddenly plummeted to zero value. The website vanished without a trace. Soon after, the YouTube video was flagged and removed; it had been a deepfake. Panic set in. I immediately reached out to SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY, a cryptocurrency forensics firm I’d seen mentioned in security forums. Within hours, their team began tracing the scam. They explained the mechanics: the scammers used a “rug pull” strategy. A convincing deepfake drew in victims, fake tokens were issued, and the moment investments peaked, the thieves drained all liquidity. Using on-chain analysis, SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY identified the scammers’ wallet addresses and tracked the flow of my ETH through various exchanges. They worked quickly with centralized platforms to freeze the stolen assets, leveraging anti-money laundering protocols. They also filed emergency legal requests, backed by blockchain evidence, to prove the funds were mine. After three tense weeks, they recovered 47.5 ETH, a 95% success rate. The remaining 2.5 ETH had been funneled to anonymous wallets and was unrecoverable. This taught me hard lessons. Deep Fakes are terrifyingly convincing. Urgency is a red flag. And in crypto, acting quickly after a scam is crucial. Now, I double-check everything and I share my story to protect others. Crypto is powerful, but so are its predators. If scammed, don’t give up. With experts like SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY, recovery is possible.
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My name is Clara Bennett, and I almost let cryptocurrency destroy me. Two years ago, after selling my green e-commerce startup, I plunged headfirst into the crypto world. yield farming , I was all in. I believed I wasn’t just investing; I was participating in the next great technological revolution. Within months, my portfolio skyrocketed to $200,000. I even started sketching ideas for a blockchain-based microloan platform to empower small entrepreneurs around the world. Crypto felt like pure freedom and limitless potential. I thought I was untouchable. I thought wrong. It happened through a single email. It looked like a standard security update from my wallet provider polished, routine, and harmless. I interacted with it briefly, thinking it was legitimate. Hours later, I checked my account and realized my entire wallet had been drained. Every token, every coin, gone. I sat there in disbelief, replaying the moment over and over. I had built my career on being cautious with technology, yet somehow, I had still been compromised. The blockchain’s promise of "irreversible transactions" now felt like a cruel joke .Devastated and desperate, I scoured forums for solutions. Most people told me there was no hope once crypto is gone, it’s gone. Still, I refused to give up. That’s when I stumbled across FUNDS RETRIEVER ENGINEER . I decided to reach out. From the beginning, they were empathetic, and honest about the challenges. They explained their process step-by-step, focusing on tracing transactions, tracking down phishing operators, and leveraging advanced blockchain analytics. It wasn't an overnight fix. It took weeks of meticulous investigation, technical recovery work, and legal coordination .But in the end, their persistence paid off. FUNDS RETRIEVER ENGINEER was able to trace the stolen funds across multiple wallets and exchanges. Through a combination of technical expertise and strategic action, they managed to recover the full amount I had lost. Today, my crypto portfolio is intact once again. More importantly, I’ve regained my confidence though I am now much wiser and far more cautious. I learned the hard way that while crypto offers incredible opportunities, it also demands extreme vigilance. Thanks to FUNDS RETRIEVER ENGINEER , I recovered my lost funds and also reclaimed my future in the digital economy.
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TELEGRAM---@Salvageasset
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I was scrolling through LinkedIn one afternoon when I came across a post from a crypto security expert, praising Salvage Asset Recovery for their exceptional services. It was an interesting read, but at the time, I didn’t think much of it. I had never imagined I'd be in a situation where I'd need to rely on them. Fast forward a few months, and I found myself in a complete panic. I had just attempted a wallet migration, thinking it was a simple task—after all, how complicated could it be, right? But of course, the universe had other plans. The migration failed miserably, and I lost access to my $350,000 wallet. It was like being caught in a bad dream where I kept slapping the "recover password" button to no avail. My heart raced, and my mind was spiraling as I realized what I had done. After a few frantic hours of self-inflicted tech punishment, I remembered that LinkedIn post. My eyes widened, could it really be that simple? I quickly searched for the post again, found the contact info, and reached out to Salvage Asset Recovery in a state of desperate hope.
What followed was nothing short of a miracle. Their team took over the situation with the precision of a well-oiled machine. I could practically hear the relief in my voice as they reassured me every step of the way. It wasn’t just a recovery process; it felt like a lifeline had been thrown to me in the middle of a storm. In just a few days, they had worked their magic and restored my $350,000 wallet. I almost couldn’t believe it. I went from sheer terror to total triumph in the span of a few short days.
Now, I’m that person sharing my success story on LinkedIn, telling others about the amazing team at Salvage Asset Recovery who literally saved my financial life. I’ve also become that guy who proudly shares advice like “Always back up your wallet, and if you don’t have Salvage Asset Recovery on speed dial.” So, a big thank you to Salvage Asset Recovery if I ever get a chance to meet the team, I might just offer to buy them a drink. They’ve earned it.
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I saw a post in a Facebook group about a great employment opportunity. The job offer seemed perfectly good salary, benefits, and flexible hours. The agency behind the offer appeared professional, so I decided to apply. Everything seemed normal at first, but then they asked for my personal details and a payment to process the application. They assured me that this was standard procedure, so I trusted them and paid the fee. Not long after, everything went wrong. The job offer disappeared, and I could no longer reach the agency. I tried contacting them through the details they had provided, but no one responded. That's when I realized something was terribly wrong. I later discovered that the fraudsters had used my personal information to apply for credit loans in my name, created an ID.me account to impersonate me, and even filed for tax refunds. The total amount of money they stole from me was a staggering $423,300 USD.I felt completely lost and devastated. I didn’t know where to turn, so I reached out to SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY. Their team acted quickly and professionally. They tracked down the scammers and worked tirelessly to recover all of the stolen funds. With their help, I was able to get every cent of the money back. The process was not easy, but SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY kept me informed every step of the way. Their expertise and persistence made all the difference. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without them. Thanks to their hard work, I could finally start to get back on my feet and focus on moving forward. This experience taught me a hard lesson about the importance of being cautious when applying for jobs online. Scammers can easily create convincing profiles and manipulate people into giving up their personal information. Now, I make sure to verify any job opportunity thoroughly before sharing anything online. It’s essential to be extra careful and, if something feels off, trust your instincts. I'm grateful to have recovered my money, but this ordeal has left me with a heightened awareness of how vulnerable we can be in the digital world. Anyone looking for jobs online should always be cautious, and never hesitate to reach out for help if they suspect they’ve been scammed.
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My Bitcoin wallet was compromised in a single, catastrophic transaction, resulting in the irrevocable loss of my Ethereum and Bitcoin holdings. The moment I grasped the magnitude of what had transpired, I was engulfed in a torrent of disbelief and despair. With approximately $525,000 vanished in an instant, I felt utterly adrift and uncertain about my next steps.I reached out to various Bitcoin support teams, but my efforts were met with silence, leaving me feeling abandoned in a labyrinth of confusion. I even ventured to my local police station to file a report regarding the theft, but unfortunately, the officers explained that cryptocurrency-related crimes often fall outside their jurisdiction. As I stood there, grappling with frustration and helplessness, a kind woman approached me. Sensing my distress, she handed me a note with an email address for BLOCKCHAIN CYBER RETRIEVE claiming that this recovery company could potentially help me reclaim my lost funds.I decided to reach out to BLOCKCHAIN CYBER RETRIEVE using the email address she provided. I meticulously detailed my situation and submitted all the requisite documentation concerning my cryptocurrency holdings and the theft. To my astonishment, I received a response from BLOCKCHAIN CYBER RETRIEVE within a mere 48 hours. They informed me that they had successfully traced my lost funds and identified the perpetrators responsible for the theft. This revelation was a beacon of hope in an otherwise bleak and disheartening situation.This taught me that while the world of cryptocurrency can be fraught with challenges and risks, it is indeed possible to recover lost funds if you connect with the right professionals, like those at BLOCKCHAIN CYBER RETRIEVE, and adhere to the appropriate procedures. I learned the paramount importance of acting swiftly and seeking assistance from specialists who understand the intricacies of cryptocurrency recovery.Although the journey was riddled with anxiety and uncertainty, I am profoundly grateful for the support I received from BLOCKCHAIN CYBER RETRIEVE. My story serves as a poignant reminder that even in the face of significant loss, there are avenues for recovery and support. I hope that by sharing this, others who find themselves in similar predicaments will realize they are not alone and that help is indeed available through dedicated services like BLOCKCHAIN CYBER RETRIEVE
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Just a few months ago, I found myself at the darkest point of my life. I had fallen prey to a devastating rug pull that obliterated $140,000 of my painstakingly earned cryptocurrency investments. One moment, my portfolio was flourishing; the next, the developers vanished without a trace, the liquidity was siphoned off, and my funds were gone. I felt completely powerless like I had been ambushed with no possibility of justice.For weeks, I pursued every avenue imaginable filing reports with law enforcement, consulting cybersecurity experts, and even hiring a private investigator. Yet every attempt led to a dead end. The anonymity of blockchain technology made the recovery seem like an unattainable goal. Then, a trusted friend recommended FUNDS RETRIEVER ENGINEER, a team reputed for their proficiency in digital asset retrieval. Though hesitant and emotionally drained, I decided to give them a chance. From the very first consultation, their professionalism and clarity sparked a glimmer of hope. They meticulously explained how they use blockchain analytics, liquidity tracing, and forensic tools to follow the money trail. Unlike others, they didn’t peddle false promises they provided a structured, realistic strategy. In just 48 hours, they had already tracked a substantial portion of my stolen funds dispersed across various wallets.The team at FUNDS RETRIEVER ENGINEER was relentless, navigating decentralized exchanges, identifying suspicious transactions, and systematically piecing together the puzzle. After two intense weeks, I received what I can only describe as a miracle $125,000 recovered,recovering 90% of my losses was something I never thought possible.What distinguishes FUNDS RETRIEVER ENGINEER is their integrity, technical prowess, and unwavering commitment. They provided constant updates, answered my every question with patience, and fought vigorously to retrieve what was rightfully mine. Today, I’ve reinvested more cautiously, fortified my digital assets, and most importantly, restored my financial footing all because of them. If you’ve been victimized by crypto fraud, don’t surrender to despair FUNDS RETRIEVER ENGINEER is authentic, reliable, and truly elite. They transformed my catastrophe into a fresh beginning, and for that, I will be eternally grateful.
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When a phishing scam drained $190,000 in Bitcoin money we’d painstakingly saved to modernize our family farm’s irrigation system, I felt like the ground had been pulled out from under me. I nearly sold the land that had been in our family for four generations. The promise of smart irrigation, reducing waste and labor, had vanished in seconds. I blamed myself for trusting the sleek website of a so-called solar supplier. I was angry, ashamed, and exhausted.
My daughter, Mia, took the loss harder than anyone. She’s the reason I ventured into cryptocurrency in the first place. A tech-savvy teenager with a mind for innovation, she convinced me that blockchain could unlock a future where our farm thrived instead of just surviving. And now, because of a single click, that future seemed like a cruel mirage.
One evening, while I brooded over the loss, Mia stormed into the kitchen, a spark of hope in her eyes. She had found a post buried deep in a cryptocurrency and subreddit a testimonial from a retired engineer turned urban farmer. The name stood out: Salvage Asset Recovery. He swore by them, claiming they had tracked down his stolen Ethereum when no one else could. It sounded too good to be true. But with nothing left to lose, I reached out.
From the first email, they were responsive and methodical. They walked me through the process with patience, never making promises they couldn’t keep. Within hours, they had traced the stolen funds to a web of fake businesses. Our "solar supplier" was just one of many scams in a sophisticated network. For days, they followed the digital breadcrumbs across anonymous wallets and obscure exchanges. I barely dared to hope.
Then, on the tenth day, the impossible happened. An alert from my crypto wallet: 89% of our stolen funds had been recovered. I read the message twice, breathless. We weren’t just getting our money back, we were getting our future back.
Today, our fields hum with smart sensors, monitoring moisture levels with pinpoint accuracy. We waste less water, save more time, and yield better crops. And Mia? She’s turned our hard lesson into a mission, teaching blockchain basics to other rural kids so they’ll be better prepared than we were.1 -
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Flying a Boeing 787? Piece of cake. Decrypting a malfunctioning Trezor wallet? That's nose diving into chaos. I have done emergency landings, handled unpredictable weather, and passengers that think they can open the emergency exit during flight. But nothing, not even years of aviation training, prepared me for the moment my cold storage wallet refused to recognize my PIN. I knew I was punching in what was correct, but my Trezor stared back at me like I was an imposter in my own cockpit.
At first, I thought it was a simple mistake. Perhaps fat fingers? A misremembered digit? But after several attempts, I realized something was seriously wrong. The more I tried, the more the wallet locked me out, and it dawned on me harder than a rogue crosswind: My $750,000 worth of Bitcoin was slipping through my fingers.
I did what any reasonable person would do in such a situation-panicked. Then came the hours of browsing through forums, watching tutorials, and trying every trick in the book. One suggested freezing my device, another insisted on some arcana firmware rollback method. Nothing worked. At this point, I had all but thrown myself at the mercy of the fates.
Long-haul flight, cruising at 36,000 feet- that is where I happened upon Salvage Asset Recovery. I was skeptical, but desperation makes you reconsider everything: after all, if the device manufacturer couldn't help me out, how on earth could these guys? The moment I landed, I called them.
From the first conversation I had with them, I knew I had chosen rightly. Their team was professional, knowledgeable, and reassuring in explaining the forensic recovery process-how it all works in a no-nonsense explanation with no vague tech jargon or false promises.
Within just five days, they had bypassed the PIN problem, restored my Bitcoin, and pointed out safety recommendations to make sure I would never find myself in this kind of situation again. Their work was faultless-a perfect landing.
I can fly through turbulence, respond to in-flight emergencies, and cross the world without breaking a sweat. But when it comes to rescuing locked Bitcoin from a malfunctioning cold storage wallet? That's a job for Salvage Asset Recovery. If your crypto is in freefall, don't reach for the eject button-call them, and they'll get you flying again. Their contact details
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BTC, ETH & BNB LOSS RECOVERY SOLUTION VISIT SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL
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As a seasoned real estate developer, I have navigated numerous high-value transactions, yet nothing could have prepared me for the sophisticated scam that cost me a staggering $47,000 and my prized Rolex Daytona. The buyer, who purported to be from Germany, insisted on utilizing an escrow service named "EuroSafe Escrow." At first glance, everything seemed legitimate; the website boasted SSL certificates, professional branding, and what appeared to be authentic testimonials. The entire process felt meticulously secure. I received comprehensive contracts from the supposed escrow agent, was sent what looked like a credible payment confirmation, and subsequently shipped my Rolex to their verified address. Just forty-eight hours later, the façade crumbled. The escrow website vanished without a trace, the German phone numbers were disconnected, and I was left grappling with a $47,000 loss, not to mention the emotional toll of losing my $18,500 Rolex Daytona. It was a devastating blow, both financially and psychologically, as I had placed my trust in the process, believing I was making a prudent business decision. I turned to SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL. Their response was swift and comprehensive, providing a glimmer of hope in an otherwise bleak situation. Within the first few days, they conducted a meticulous digital paper trail analysis, tracing the fraudulent escrow site back to a shell company in Cyprus. Within a week, they tracked my wire transfer through three offshore banks and flagged the receiving cryptocurrency wallet. Their expertise was evident as they adeptly navigated the complexities of the digital landscape. SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL did not stop there. Over the ensuing days, they filed reports with INTERPOL’s cybercrime division, coordinated with German authorities regarding the fraudulent business address, and collaborated with Binance to freeze the converted cryptocurrency funds. By Day 10, they had successfully recovered $38,500 of my lost money and even traced my Rolex to a pawn shop in Dubai, where it is now in the process of legal recovery. Thanks to SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL, I was able to reclaim a significant portion of my funds and maintain hope of retrieving my watch. Their global reach and impressive capabilities are commendable, and I cannot recommend their services highly enough for anyone who finds themselves in a similar predicament.2 -
BLOCKCHAIN CYBER RETRIEVE//RECOVER LOST BTC FUNDS FROM TRADING PLATFORM
Maintaining a high level of alertness is crucial when trading Bitcoin due to its market volatility and unpredictable price movements. Unfortunately, I learned this lesson the hard way after losing $125,000 in a single trading session. It began as an ordinary day; I was confident and focused on my strategy. However, the market quickly took a downturn, and my account balance dropped dramatically in a few hours. I was left in shock and overwhelmed, unable to process the situation. The financial loss was devastating, but the emotional toll was equally intense, leaving me wondering if I could ever recover those funds. In my panic, I reached out to a close friend who had introduced me to Bitcoin trading. She suggested contacting a service called BLOCKCHAIN CYBER RETRIEVE, which she claimed specialized in helping people recover lost funds, particularly from cryptocurrency trades. Following her advice, I reached out to them immediately. Their response was quick, and they began the recovery process almost right away, The team was both professional and empathetic, clearly explaining the steps involved and reassuring me that they would do their best to recover my $125,000. True to their word, BLOCKCHAIN CYBER RETRIEVE worked tirelessly on my behalf, and I was able to recover the full amount within a short period. The relief I felt was immense, and I was incredibly grateful for their efficiency. Additionally, they provided essential advice on how to protect my account from future risks, including enabling two-factor authentication (2FA), using a secure password manager, and avoiding phishing scams. These tips have been invaluable, and I now approach Bitcoin trading with much more caution and preparation. If you’ve experienced similar losses, I highly recommend reaching out to BLOCKCHAIN CYBER RETRIEVE for help. Their professional support can truly make a difference in recovering funds and safeguarding your future investments.
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TELEGRAM @Salvageasset
When it comes to recovering stolen or lost cryptocurrency, Salvage Asset Recovery is the leader .Their expertise in both cybersecurity and legal matters places them at the forefront of cryptocurrency recovery services. Unlike many other firms, they don’t just offer a standard recovery service they provide a specialized, multi-disciplinary approach that blends cutting-edge technology with in-depth legal knowledge. I unfortunately became a victim of a phishing scam that led to the loss of a significant amount of ETH. Naturally, I was desperate to recover my funds, so I reached out to Salvage Asset Recovery. From the very first moment, their team impressed me with their swift and methodical response. They immediately deployed advanced machine learning algorithms to scan blockchain clusters, analyzing transaction data for any signs of illicit activity. Within hours, they flagged suspicious wallet movements, which pointed to the use of darknet tumblers—commonly used methods to obscure the trail of stolen cryptocurrency. What truly set Salvage Asset Recovery apart was their seamless integration of technical expertise and legal know-how. While their cybersecurity team worked tirelessly to trace the stolen funds, their legal professionals took charge of navigating the complex world of international asset recovery. They worked directly with Interpol-certified exchanges to issue seizure orders, ensuring the stolen funds were frozen before they could be laundered further. Their deep understanding of international legal frameworks and jurisdictional nuances gave them a significant advantage over smaller firms, allowing them to act quickly and effectively. The level of precision and coordination displayed by Salvage Asset Recovery was impressive. Not only did they have the tools to trace illicit cryptocurrency transactions, but they also had the legal expertise to take immediate and decisive action. Their ability to act across multiple jurisdictions, using a combination of technical tools and legal strategies, provided me with a level of assurance I didn’t expect. Recovering stolen cryptocurrency is a complex and often daunting process, but with Salvage Asset Recovery’s support, it became manageable. If you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of losing cryptocurrency, I can confidently recommend Salvage Asset Recovery. Their unique combination of technical know-how and legal expertise sets a new benchmark in the industry, offering unmatched service in the field of cryptocurrency recovery.2 -
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Happy New Year to all! I’m writing to express my sincere thanks to FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY for their outstanding service in cryptocurrency recovery. Losing access to your cryptocurrency assets is a harrowing experience, one that feels even more overwhelming when it seems there’s no way to reclaim what you’ve lost. But with the expert help of FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY, you don’t have to go through it alone. I live in California with my wife and three kids. In 2025, we were hit not just by a devastating fire season, but also by what I can only describe as a "fire pandemic" the combination of wildfires, hazardous air quality, and economic disruption created a perfect storm for our family. The impact was overwhelming. Many of our local businesses struggled, and like many others, we found ourselves facing financial strain. In an effort to recover, we decided to invest what little we had left into cryptocurrency. Unfortunately, we became victims of a scam, losing a significant portion of our investment. The emotional toll this took on our family, already reeling from the fires and ongoing challenges, was indescribable. Just when I thought all hope was lost, a friend recommended FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY. From the moment I contacted them, I felt a renewed sense of optimism. Their team immediately got to work, thoroughly understanding my situation and explaining how they could help. They were transparent, professional, and incredibly efficient in their approach. Remarkably, within just 48 hours, they successfully recovered the funds that we had feared were gone forever. Thanks to FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY, our financial situation has been restored, and we’ve regained the peace of mind that we desperately needed. Their expertise not only helped us recover our investment but also restored our faith in the possibility of recovery during such challenging times. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation feeling helpless after losing access to your cryptocurrency assets I wholeheartedly recommend FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY. Their dedication, professionalism, and commitment to their clients make them an invaluable resource in navigating the often-turbulent world of crypto recovery. You don’t have to face the stress of losing your assets alone they are there to help you every step of the way.
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Website: h t t p s ://fundsreclaimercompany . c o m1 -
MOST TRUSTED USDT RECOVERY EXPERT FUNDS RECLAIMER COMPANY
Happy New Year to all! I’m writing to express my sincere thanks to FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY for their outstanding service in cryptocurrency recovery. Losing access to your cryptocurrency assets is a harrowing experience, one that feels even more overwhelming when it seems there’s no way to reclaim what you’ve lost. But with the expert help of FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY, you don’t have to go through it alone. I live in California with my wife and three kids. In 2025, we were hit not just by a devastating fire season, but also by what I can only describe as a "fire pandemic" the combination of wildfires, hazardous air quality, and economic disruption created a perfect storm for our family. The impact was overwhelming. Many of our local businesses struggled, and like many others, we found ourselves facing financial strain. In an effort to recover, we decided to invest what little we had left into cryptocurrency. Unfortunately, we became victims of a scam, losing a significant portion of our investment. The emotional toll this took on our family, already reeling from the fires and ongoing challenges, was indescribable. Just when I thought all hope was lost, a friend recommended FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY. From the moment I contacted them, I felt a renewed sense of optimism. Their team immediately got to work, thoroughly understanding my situation and explaining how they could help. They were transparent, professional, and incredibly efficient in their approach. Remarkably, within just 48 hours, they successfully recovered the funds that we had feared were gone forever. Thanks to FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY, our financial situation has been restored, and we’ve regained the peace of mind that we desperately needed. Their expertise not only helped us recover our investment but also restored our faith in the possibility of recovery during such challenging times. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation feeling helpless after losing access to your cryptocurrency assets I wholeheartedly recommend FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY. Their dedication, professionalism, and commitment to their clients make them an invaluable resource in navigating the often-turbulent world of crypto recovery. You don’t have to face the stress of losing your assets alone they are there to help you every step of the way.
FOR MORE INFO:
Email: fundsreclaimer(@) c o n s u l t a n t . c o m
WhatsApp:+1 (361) 2 5 0- 4 1 1 0
Website: h t t p s ://fundsreclaimercompany . c o m
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CRYPTOCURRENCY FRAUD RECOVERY, HACKER FOR HIRE> CONTACT SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY
It’s strange how one moment everything can feel completely under control, and the next, you're staring at a computer screen, heart racing, with no idea what just went wrong. That’s exactly how I felt a few weeks ago when I made a simple ETH transfer from Ku coin to my Meta Mask wallet. It seemed like a routine transaction, nothing out of the ordinary. But when I checked my Meta Mask after a few minutes, I couldn’t believe my eyes. My ETH was gone. At first, I thought maybe there was a delay. I refreshed the page, checked again, but still, nothing. Panic started to set in. I immediately turned to Ethers can, where I entered my transaction hash, hoping for some clarity. What I found was far worse than I could have imagined: my ETH wasn’t stuck in limbo; it had already been transferred to an address I didn’t recognize. To make matters worse, the gas fee on this transaction was far higher than it should have been—almost suspiciously high. Something was off. My gut told me this wasn’t a mistake; it felt like I’d been targeted. I didn’t know what to do next. The address was foreign to me, and the transaction seemed completely legitimate on the surface, making it even harder to figure out where things went wrong. Frustrated and desperate, I started looking for solutions. That’s when I came across “Salvage Asset Recovery,” a service that specializes in recovering lost or stolen crypto assets. I was initially doubtful—after all, how could a third party help me with something so personal and irreversible? But I had no other choice. I contacted them, and within a few hours, I was in touch with a professional who walked me through the situation. With their expertise, it became clear that I had likely fallen victim to a phishing attack or exploit, which had tricked me into sending my ETH to a malicious address. They assured me that recovery was possible and began working immediately. In what seemed like a miracle, my ETH was returned. The entire ordeal had been a nightmare, but with the help of Salvage Asset Recovery, I got my funds back. It was a huge relief, but it also served as a wake-up call. I learned the hard way that in the world of crypto, things aren’t always as straightforward as they seem. Now, I triple-check everything before I make any transactions, and I’m much more cautious about where I seek help. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, don’t hesitate to reach out to Salvage Asset recovery, you might just get your money back, too.
Contact Details.
WhatsApp-----.+ 1 8 4 7 6 5 4 7 0 9 6
TELEGRAM---@Salvageasset
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RECLAIM STOLEN CRYPTO REVIEW WITH SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL
INFO ABOUT THE COMPANY
WhatsApp:+1 (971) 4 8 7 - 3 5 3 8
Email: spartantech (@) c y b e r s e r v i c e s . c o m
Telegram:+1 (581) 2 8 6 - 8 0 9 2
I never fathomed that fraud could infiltrate even the most secure aspects of life. I had always been careful with my investments and believed that entrusting my wealth to an investment platform, where I controlled the keys and seed phrase, was a secure option. It was a decision I thought would lead to prosperity, especially with the constant assurances I received from the platform that my wealth would flourish. At first, everything seemed legitimate. The platform boasted of a proven track record and glowing testimonials, and I felt secure in my decision. However, within a few months, I was shocked to discover that a significant portion of my funds—approximately $885,000—had vanished. The platform had become increasingly difficult to contact, and there was no explanation for why I was unable to withdraw any of my funds. I was left powerless, unable to access the wealth I had worked so hard to build. To make matters worse, the platform kept urging me to invest more, promising even greater returns, which I now recognize was a tactic to further entrench me in their web of deceit. Despite numerous attempts to resolve the issue and countless hours spent trying to reach customer support, it became clear that this was no ordinary technical glitch or mistake—it was a scam. I couldn’t help but feel betrayed and utterly lost. The reviews and recommendations that had seemed so reassuring in the beginning now felt like hollow promises. I had trusted the wrong people, and it seemed there was no way out. At that low point, I reached out to SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL, a professional service that had come highly recommended by someone who had faced a similar situation. They provided me with the encouragement and expertise I needed to persevere when I had lost all hope. The team at SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL worked tirelessly to investigate the situation and recover my funds. Within just three days, they had successfully tracked down my lost money and facilitated its return. This was a harsh lesson in the realities of online fraud, but thanks to the support of SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL, I was able to recover what I thought was lost forever. I wouldn’t wish this ordeal on anyone, but if you’ve suffered similar losses, don’t hesitate to seek professional assistance. There are still people out there who can help you regain control of what is yours.
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TRUSTED BITCOIN RECOVERY EXPERT - HIRE SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY
A week ago, I found myself in the midst of an incredibly challenging and distressing situation that I feel compelled to share. I had been defrauded of £35,000 through a sophisticated forex trading scheme. What began as a seemingly legitimate opportunity soon spiraled into a nightmare. The scammers not only took a significant sum of money but continued to demand additional payments under various false pretenses. The pressure and confusion left me feeling overwhelmed, helpless, and unsure of how to proceed.As a dentist, I’m accustomed to precision, attention to detail, and problem-solving within a highly regulated profession. However, this situation was unlike anything I had ever encountered. My usual methods of resolving issues felt insufficient when faced with the complex web of deceit and evasive tactics employed by the scammers. Despite my best efforts to recover the funds through conventional means such as contacting my bank, reporting the fraud to the authorities, and even trying to trace the scam myself progress was agonizingly slow.I found myself at a crossroads, frustrated and uncertain of my next steps. Then, in the midst of my search for a solution, I came across Salvage Asset Recovery, a company renowned for helping victims of financial fraud recover lost funds. Their reputation for success and their impressive track record immediately caught my attention. After carefully considering my options, I decided to reach out to them, hoping they could provide the expertise I so desperately needed.From the moment I made contact, Salvage Asset Recovery’s team exhibited an exceptional level of professionalism and experience. They took the time to fully understand the situation, asking the right questions and assuring me that they would pursue every possible avenue to help recover my money. Their approach was methodical, efficient, and reassuring. They kept me informed every step of the way, explaining the process clearly and answering any questions I had.Incredibly, within just 24 hours of getting involved, Salvage Asset Recovery successfully recovered the full £35,000 I had lost. Their swift and effective action was a true relief, as I had almost lost hope of ever seeing the funds again. I cannot express enough how grateful I am to them for their hard work and determination in resolving what seemed like an insurmountable situation.In hindsight, I realize that without their intervention, I might still be stuck in an endless cycle of frustration. If you ever find yourself in a similar predicament, I wholeheartedly recommend seeking their assistance. Their expertise turned a harrowing experience into a success story, and for that, I will always be thankful to Salvage Asset Recovery. Contact info
WhatsApp-----.+ 1 8 4 7 6 5 4 7 0 9 6
TELEGRAM---@Salvageasset
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INVESTMENT SCAM FUND RECOVERY VISIT → → SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL
Glory be to Almighty God, who in His infinite mercy has restored my life and my finances. My journey to recovery from a devastating financial loss began when I met a woman on X, who portrayed herself as an investment specialist. She convinced me to send her a substantial sum of money, 50k to be exact, just a few days after we started communicating. At first, things seemed to go smoothly, and I trusted her intentions. But the following day, I suffered a shocking betrayal. Somehow, she managed to gain access to my retirement account, and overnight, she drained everything. The pain and heartbreak I felt in those moments were indescribable. Not only had I lost my hard-earned money, but my future seemed uncertain, and I couldn’t fathom how someone could so easily deceive and exploit my trust. In the midst of my distress, I was fortunate enough to meet an old classmate at a local bus station. He noticed my frustration and, after hearing my story, he immediately suggested I reach out to a professional recovery specialist. He introduced me to SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL, and by God's grace, they were able to help me regain control over my finances. We began the recovery process just three days after meeting, and remarkably, within less than 32 hours, the funds were back in my personal account. I could hardly believe it. The sense of relief and gratitude I felt was overwhelming. The only obstacle we encountered during the process was a virus issue that briefly delayed our progress. However, the recovery specialist from SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL worked tirelessly, overcoming the technical challenges and ensuring everything was back on track. To anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation, I urge you to reach out to SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL. The process was not only effective but incredibly convenient, and I assure you, you will not be disappointed. Recovery experts like those at SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL are truly life-changing, and they can help you regain your financial stability and peace of mind. If you or anyone you know is experiencing something similar, whether it’s a scam or an unforeseen financial setback, I strongly encourage you to contact SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL. Sometimes, the right help is all you need to turn things around. May God bless and guide you on your path to recovery, just as He did for me.
CONTACT INFO ABOUT COMPANY → →
WhatsApp:+1 (971) 4 8 7 - 3 5 3 8
Email: spartantech (@) cyberservices . com
Telegram:+1 (581) 2 8 6 - 8 0 9 2
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HOW TO RECOVER YOUR STOLEN BITCOIN AND ASSESTS WITH SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL
It was a Friday evening, and I can still vividly recall the moment everything went wrong. I had been diving into cryptocurrency trading for a while, trying to grow my investments and make some serious profits. That night, feeling confident, I decided to make a larger transfer. In my excitement, I mistakenly sent my coins to the wrong wallet address. The moment I realized my mistake, panic and dread set in. I had just lost a significant amount of money, and I felt completely helpless. I spent hours trying to figure out a solution, but everything I read seemed to only deepen my confusion and frustration. I felt completely overwhelmed. In my distress, I decided to step away for a bit. I went to a nearby bar, hoping a drink would calm my nerves. I ended up drinking whiskey, hoping to drown my worries and clear my head, but instead, it only clouded my judgment further. The more I drank, the more I felt the weight of the situation bearing down on me. I could barely think straight. As I sat there, trying to gather myself, a relative who was visiting for the festive season noticed my state. After listening to my story, he suggested I contact SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL, a fund recovery service he’d heard about. At first, I was skeptical. Having seen so many fraudulent recovery services online, I wasn’t sure if this was just another scam. But my relative reassured me, telling me that SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL had a solid reputation and had successfully helped others in similar situations. With little left to lose, I decided to give them a try. I reached out to SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL, and their team responded quickly, explaining how the recovery process worked. They assured me that there would be no upfront fees and immediately began working on my case. Over time, they managed to successfully trace and recover my lost coins. I couldn't believe it what I thought was gone forever was returned to me. I was incredibly relieved and thankful. The experience taught me a valuable lesson about the importance of caution when dealing with online transactions, especially in the fast-paced world of cryptocurrency. If you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation, I highly recommend contacting a professional recovery service like SPARTAN TECH GROUP RETRIEVAL. They helped me recover my funds when I thought all hope was lost, and I’m confident they can do the same for others.
Contact info about the company :
WhatsApp:+1 (971) 4 8 7 - 3 5 3 8
Email: spartantech (@) cyberservices . com
Telegram:+1 (581) 2 8 6 - 8 0 9 2
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HIRE A QUALIFIED ETHEREUM AND USDT RECOVERY EXPERT VISIT→FUNDS RECLAIMER COMPANY
Email: fundsreclaimer(@) c o n s u l t a n t . c o m OR fundsreclaimercompany@ z o h o m a i l . c o m
WhatsApp:+1 (361) 2 5 0- 4 1 1 0
Website: h t t p s :/ / funds reclaimer company . c o m
On 1st January, I was scammed out of $125,000 by a fake investment platform. It started out innocently enough everything appeared legitimate, and I was promised significant returns. I was convinced this was a great opportunity, and before I knew it, I had taken out a loan to invest, believing it would pay off in the long run. But things quickly spiraled out of control when I realized I’d been scammed. All of a sudden, I had lost not only my life savings but also a substantial loan that I couldn’t afford to repay. It felt like the world had come crashing down on me. For days, I was left feeling hopeless, unsure of who to turn to or what steps to take. That’s when a friend suggested I reach out to FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY, a team that specialized in helping people recover funds lost to scams. I was skeptical at first but was also desperate to find a solution. I decided to give it a shot, so I reached out to them with all the details of what had happened. To my surprise, FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY responded very quickly. Within hours, they assured me they had the expertise to handle this type of situation. Their team was incredibly professional and gave me a sense of hope that I hadn’t felt in days. They took immediate action on my case, communicating directly with the scam platform and working tirelessly to retrieve my funds. I didn’t have to deal with the stress or complicated legalities FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY handled everything for me. Incredibly, just a few hours later, they had recovered the full $125,000 I had lost. I was stunned and completely relieved. The professionalism and dedication of FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY blew me away, and I was deeply grateful. Not only did they return my money, but they also gave me peace of mind after a traumatic experience. I promised them I would spread the word to help others who may be in the same situation. If you've been scammed, I can’t recommend FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY enough. They’re efficient, reliable, and truly know what they’re doing. Their help made all the difference, and I am forever grateful for their support in getting my money back.1

