Me: "can we go to the cinema this weekend?"
gf: "uhm, maybe if blablabla..."
Me: "boolean!"
gf: "true"
...

Maybe I could get better bug reports from clients if I made them use this.

I wonder if it has Jira integration.

If programmers were doctors.

Doctor A: the patient is having heart attack
Doctor B: we have to reproduce the heart attack to be able to heal him
Doctor C: why dont we just remove the hesrt and install a new heart
Doctor D: human heart are bad, maybe we should use animal heart

when i worked in IT, some coworkers told me to install some stuff in the "happy" and delete some files from the "surprised". I spend several days confused, until they explained me... Idk if they are idiots or geniuses.

happy disk (C:)
surprised disk (D:)

maybe they were both.

I wish there was a way to feel well rested without actually sleeping.

Or maybe I could somehow learn to program in my sleep.

I would be so productive, and finish so many projects if those options were possible.

I thought, maybe, MAYBE I’ll meet a better class mate for uni group project since I’m at master degree instead of bachelor...

WELL FUCK, there is still people who played dead when I tried to chat them. Fuck group project, fuck you if you read this, I know you’re here sometimes

Do you also like the idea, if devRant would have patreon or paypal for donations?

++ the rant if you like the idea. Maybe @dfox and @trogus will consider it then 😄

Servers are not cheap and it would be great if the community would finance itself.

Sure devRant got a Store, but I live in Europe and ordering/shipping is not so cheap, we got huge taxes for it. And I dont wont to order a stressball or sticker every month.

Also every dev wishes for a beer 🍺 😜

Working with a "senior frontend developer"

HIM: committed this code, and took him 2 weeks before his first commit on our project
var str = ''

if (string == 'String Here') {
str = 'stringhere'
} else if ( string == 'Another String Here') {
str = 'anotherstringhere'
} and so on ...

ME: WTF?
ME: can we do it like this?
ME: str = string.replace(/\s/g, '').toLowerCase()

Maybe he is senior by age :D

*burp* Me..Merry Christmas

I made a thing. It's called Claymore.

It's like lastPass, but with a bomb attached to it.

Its *burp* like, if you're like really paranoid about your passwords, you can just, you can just blow it all up.

Pro-Tip, if you run it on port 1337, it's extra sec-*burp*-ure.

Am I kidding? Maybe. I made this w/ booze, so.

Maybe if I get a "world's #0 programmer" coffee cup people will think I'm under qualified to hack their Facebook...

Interview today! (Maybe?)
Sometime between 2pm and 10pm!
No idea if it's Skype or phone or what. Or with who. Or really when.

Sounds like I should turn them down. 😕

I just changed a bunch of comments, log entries, and removed some blank lines from one of my controllers. Zero functional code changes. Everything worked before; now it runs only half the code, breaks, and throws strange errors.

Fucking hell.
Screw today.

I just got called into my bosses office. Apparently I was too "direct" with one of my code reviews and now the other developer feels put down and demotivated. All I did was point out some areas of the code that could be cleaner and more efficient, if you can't handle that maybe you shouldn't be a developer. If you can't objectly look at your mistakes and learn from them you won't be very useful either.
I am not your mother, I don't care about your feelings!

While being self employed as a programmer may have its ups and downs, at least no one will judge you(except yourself maybe and your clients if they know) when you code drunk and it's Wednesday night/Thursday morning.

I am thinking if there could be one universal efficient programming language that could perform multiple tasks then it had been cool... Maybe it may cause programming languages singularity !!!

I fucking hate being the "ask me anything" guy in the office, how am I supposed to code if people interrupt me every 5 minutes?

OH LOOK AT MY HEADPHONES! MAYBE I'M CONCENTRATED AND HAVE SHIT TO DO! I mean there are other 10 devs, why don't you go to them? or maybe try to GOOGLE IT, I HEARD STACK OVERFLOW IS GOOD YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

don't get me wrong, I like to help people but I hate when those bastards come asking questions that could be easily answered if they read the code for 5 fucking minutes.

when I have to look at code that is not mine I try to understand it by myself, even if it's not documented, and I try not to bother anyone unless is really necessary.

But then this sluggish leeches think I know the whole codebase and that can interrupt me whenever they can.

Hello devRant and devs!

Next week I am going to attend to a hackathon organised by my study (24 hours) and me and another guy are going together (or, maybe one more person but not sure yet).

We are going as: team devRant!

My idea is to at least do a quick status update/vlog every x hours and maybe a webpage where I update peoples but I was wondering if anyone here would like to see the event, see the updates/vlog stuffs or maybe not at all?

It will also be live streamed onto the internet!

Would like to hear your opinions on this =).

Maybe if Forbes and Business insider would show something like this, they'll get more revenue.

Just had le first sollicitation/interview.

Went pretty good! Nice guy, very relaxed talking/environment aaand they use Linux internally so no windows for me (if I get the job)!

Although the fact that I don't plan on staying longer than a year (maybe I was too honest) wasn't a good thing to say, it was a good interview :)

Could you imagine if each ++ you got in devRant was equal to a bitcoin?

Maybe we should make our own community currency. We can call it rantCoin.

Why are people talking to me even if they can see that i got my headphones on and i am staring at my monitor like a zombie?! Maybe i should hang two of these "do not disturb" things from hotelrooms on my ears.

I never made a friend due to code.
Either I fucking hate people if I see their code or I respect them.
But getting a friend because of code seems to me rather unrealistic.

Maybe I could get a female code groupie, if I write code little bit more lovely and sexy.

Ask me again in a year.

Microsoft be like :
"Oh, you're moving away from your computer for a while with all this stuff open? It would a shame if some were to.. UPDATE it!"

It asks with a pop up, and if you don't answer it, it thinks "Oh, you're not telling me if I should update now or not, but I think you probably want me to update. UPDATE!"

For me, if I keep ignoring the update, it starts to create problems for me out of nowhere. It starts to lag and then the task manager starts to lag. EVERYTHING IS NOT RESPONDING.
When I finally update it, it acts like there were no issues at all. Everything is fine..

Even with Xbox, if it wants to update, it doesn't let you go online until you do. If it loses connection mid-update for some reason, it begins the update again from the friggin START. All that time updating gone to waste. Recently, I'm having a lot of issues with it. It doesn't let me sign in a lot of times. "We couldn't sign you in" for some reason. It JUST CAN'T. If you have a slow internet connection, you can't play any game at all. I contacted Microsoft Support about that issue and they concluded that it was all because of the slow internet connection and there were no issues on their end and they told me to GIT GOOD (Not exactly those words). If it does sign you in, it kicks you out mid-game for some reason with the evil pop up saying "Bye User_Name". The game says that YOU signed out (Dumb game, doesn't understand Microsoft shenanigans) and returns you to the main menu. If your game didn't save, well, GOOD luck to you!
Everything takes forever to load, if it decides it's not gonna load, it gives me a really helpful error saying "Something went wrong".
Maybe it's just me, it just hates me particularly. It makes me think that Microsoft intentionally acts like a douche just to get attention..

(In the end I think, maybe, this all is not a big deal if you surrender and accept Microsoft as your overlord)

I tried a few ways to stop Windows from updating automatically, but nothing worked (Maybe, I should try again).

Maybe I should dual boot Linux, but that brings a whole new set of things that I'd have to deal with, doesn't it?

Sigh

"If you are on Craigslist to get a sofa, and you see one for free. You think there’s something tragically wrong with it – maybe there are bedbugs. But if you see a sofa on there for $2,500, you think ‘oh man, that sofa must be amazing’. It’s the same thing with art – you set your own value." - Jessica Hische

Me: "You know, if I take maybe an hour I bet i can finish this before I sleep..."

Reality: NO. NO YOU CAN'T. YOU'LL STAY UP UNTIL 5, AND IT'LL WORK EXACTLY LIKE I DID YESTETDAY.

!rant but nightly thoughts about wrecking clients that won't pay

If you're building something for a client for money, think of a killswitch.

If it requires internet anyway and you have a webserver, do something similar to what the killswitch of WannaCrypt was (but rather checking for a file on the webserver for existing/non-existing). If the client won't pay, kill the application. If the client pays, maybe even deliver a version without killswitch later (as a "bugfix")

If it is some offline project, you can check for a date (payment due date?) and also check for date/time manipulation on the system itself, and disable the killswitch via a "bugfix" version later just like above.

If clients pay, they don't have trouble. Else, they do.

Maybe not if you're attending a hackathon :)

I wonder why stack overflow gets so much hate on here. To me, it is a tremendously helpful community. People are usually pleasant and forthcoming.

I sometimes see questions closed as "not constructive", even though it has thousands of upvotes, but generally, if you follow the rules, you'll have a good time.

Maybe people want SO to be something it is not, or maybe people behave differently around different technologies. I mostly find Python, Djang and general web answers, and they are fine

*first class*
Teacher: Ok, you have to write if you know how to code, and write the languages too.
Guy in front of me: Yeah! Code!
Me: Hey, you know any language?
Guy: Sure! PHP...
Me: *Hm, okay, maybe he's goo...*
Guy: ...and HTML
Me: ...

Client: "My proposed deadline can't be met? Maybe we should go to your office and sit right next to you to see how you work."
Yeah right, that surely speeds things up. Even if the ever-changing requirements require at least triple of the time allowed.

If you're so fucking mentally lazy that you can't write something halt-decent the first time, maybe you shouldn't write anything at all!

hsdkghajsghasldghj
HATE

Look, icon pack. We need to talk about devRant. You're getting to that age where you need to be respectful, especially towards such a wonderful app. Could you maybe go to the effort of having some icon, even if it's just a simple one? Thanks.

(maybe) unpopular opinion

I hate the I'm at 127.0.0.1|localhost meme
It's a loopback address

It's like saying I live at home

Like why do people think it's funny or smart to post stuff like that

Even the doormat that was going around isn't necessary accurate, since it's per machine (in this case a human).
Like if you have the home saying it's localhost then you are obviously not.

Maybe I'm just being mean here but it's like really annoying after a while

Kind of disappointing that devrant rewards and attracts bot'esque accounts for exclusively re-posting facebook memes - with stickers.

Those accounts are even as bold to constantly spam everywhere "HOW LONG DID IT TAKE FOR YOU TO GET THEM?" as if they are entitled to next day delivery, feels wasted and especially insulting to people that actually use and flourish the platform.

Not really great input nor constructive criticism, more a vent, because I know that it's the "maybe some of the shit will stick" idea - maybe some of those shit posters will turn to actual content creators on here or them being free advertisement to maybe less useless beings.

Dear companies of the world.

If you offer customer support over Intercom, and the officer is a cute boy, I am gonna flirt like hell.

Keep this in mind.

Or maybe you do... maybe the photos are thirst traps designed to make us more forgiving... 🤔

Damn. Maybe if I was more charismatic, I too could stop learning and just talk my way into a position with a bullshit title.

Maybe.

Me (junior) working on something specific/concrete; actually doing something. Gets stuck and goes to lead with specific question.
me: hey lead, if we have x, does y need to be included as well?
lead: yes, no, maybe, random bla.
me, tries to summarize and extract a to-do: oke... so based on 'yes, no, maybe random bla' you suggest adding y right about here?
lead: maybe bla and we have to think about it, yes, random bla. Try whatever feels right to you.
Me walks back to desk. Decides to support a charity, help refugees and homeless people CAUSE THAT FEELS RIGHT!

Fucking news articles like wtf if they don't have a buzzword in the title they will never be published.

This Forbes articles talks about googles quantum computer and hotw it could break Bitcoin. FUCKING BITCOIN like who TF cares maybe you should talk about how it would break the ENTIRE FUCKING INTERNET.

Oy, can any of you chaps hack a facebook account?

Asking for a friend.

Seriously. This waste of oxygen said if I wasnt good enough, I should find someone else to do it.

God I hate humans. I'm converting to hinduism so I can get reincarnated as something else. A cat maybe.

Am I the only one who when they are super focused writing code and debugging starts acting like Bob Ross painting a picture?(without a filter... of course)

And here we’ll add another little god damn breakpoint so we can watch our fucked up variables report the wrong thing..

Oh and over here will just add another little happy simple if statement.

Oh look at the happy if statements in a row.. maybe we’ll add little switch statement here.

Because... Yeah

Maybe it's an unpopular take, but I don't get why so many people keep whining about debugging. If you hate debugging so much, why would you become a programmer in the first place? Wouldn't you be miserable most of your working time?

We have RGB shit in computers...
We have dev ducks...
We need programmable RGB dev ducks that can change their color with a scripting interface.

If you choose to make your duck's color correspond to the compiler warning and errors displayed this can be done. Also, maybe have it plays sounds too.

After looking at @linuxxx and @AlexDeLarge 's rants with the face reveal, maybe we ought to do one of the team behind the masterpiece, @trogus and @dfox face reveal.

IF they are comfortable with it.
Or maybe do it on a special occasion. Like an anniversary or something?

It feels like we have a "kickoff meeting" for something every few days.

Maybe we wouldn't have to kick off so often if anyone actually guarded the... goals.

(sorry)

So I was looking for restaurants and this is the website of one in my area. Not sure if minimalistic design or just writen html in text editor. Maybe he hired a dev who took "will only take 30min" too seriously.

While chatting with a colleague that just became a parent. He said he's uses Alexa for his smart home.

So I'm like hmm.. If you're always yelling Alexa... I wonder what the baby's first words will be...

And maybe that's the whole point... Conditioning the next generation to pick Amazon products as the default...

This is random stuff.
I wonder what would happen if an innocent new user unknowingly reports a rant written by @dfox or by @trogus themselves.🤔
Maybe a beautiful post or maybe a nice email like
"Dear @... you might not have realized but @trogus and @dfox are the creators of devRant"

So I've announced my leaving today and my dear line manager responded with asking if they could make me change my mind.
Like what makes you think this is up for debate? I literally noted I signed for another place. Maybe you should have thought of this when I a million times before said that I might leave if x or y doesn't change.

She also scheduled an "emergency meeting" with me for today. I'm eager to hear what she has to came up with..

hey customers, maybe if you could learn how to READ THE LITERAL INFORMATION PAGE you wouldn't have to take the time to send me stupid emails because you are a dumb incompetetant fuck

GOD

going to quit trying very soon

no one else does, why should i

So yesterday terminals for clocking in and clocking out where installed at a customer. In the evening I got a call, telling me, that only one of five terminals works. I tried to figure out the problem and finally the customer asked me, if maybe every terminal would need an individual IP adress.

Pair programming is cool but please... if you're done with your work and nobody ask you for help or a pair programming session.. don't go to the most busy collegue and start working on his problem.. maybe he is debugging/trying some special and ultra complex functionality on his own! Try to ask if someone needs help before jumping to the next desk!
- Thaanks

Numbers:
- Facebook Monthly Active Users = 2.4 Billions
- Facebook Fake Users, not included in MAU = 3.4 Billions (FB declared recently disabling that much)
Total: 2.4+3.4=5.8 Billions

Worldwide internet users: 4.3 Billions

Maybe a little function like this could help?

function createFBAccount() {

if (numberOfAccounts++ > peopleOnEarth) {
print "You are not human"
exit
}
...
}

There is a possibility that I might maybe hopefully get a laptop if I help my dad with one of his own long-term projects.

If this actually happens, I don't have to run Linux of a SD card anymore :D

Everytime I don't sit in front of my code (and go for a walk or something), I immediately find bugs or things to improve from all the code I've written, IN MY HEAD. If you have a hard time finding bugs, try this, maybe. Might help.

!wk66
Maybe?
If we (Web makers) stop making [ie,safari,android native browser] compatible websites... Maaaaybe, just sayin' maaaybee THEY will take some time to support web standards ?? maybe ?

"Did you really buy a macbook to put ubuntu on it?"
"Wow why would you use such an overpriced piece of garbage just to put linux on it?'
"You made the worst choice of hardware to put ubuntu on"

Maybe, just maybe, I didn't fucking buy it myself and I got it from work? Maybe I didn't fucking pay a dime to get a laptop to put ubuntu on it? Ever considered that I got it for fucking free and have the privilege to do what I want with it?

Go fuck yourself if your first assumption is that I would actually buy a macbook just to erase MacOS from it

just fucking add one if/temary to show the "s" or not. please for fuck sake. its not thaat hard and maybe takes one minuten if youre slow

Anxiety sucks.
Clonazepam sucks.
Insomnia sucks.

Maybe coding would be fun again if I just got out of this neurotic rut.🙄

And..... it’s Monday now....

This function doesn't work... Maybe if i delete the whitespaces of the arguments

I often wonder if our clients seriously think we have an all-knowing crystal ball of wisdom when they send tickets like "Cannot send emails - please check" while they have like 10 servers and email delivery is a complex matter on its own already.

If I didn't care what our clients think, I'd reply with equally informative email of "Maybe, who knows"...

A company in Switzerland keep re-posting job openings for "ninja software engineers" on the university board. Maybe I should slide in with my black pyjamas and a katana and see If I make the cut?

That's it. I'm fucking retarded. I'm just so fucking retarded. I'm so fucking supid, it makes me wonder why do I even keep trying. I'm not sure I even have the energy in my fingers to keep typing this stupid rant.

I've been banging my head against this stupid fucking issue for A WEEK. Digging into the documentation, trying different library versions, trying to move stuff around even if it didn't make sense, trying to use different approaches because maybe I was missing something, or maybe I didn't understand some concept.
Surely spawning a child function from a parent can't be that hard, right?

Nothing.

Even tried it on a different OS - who knows, maybe it's Windows doing some if its magic fuckery?

Still nothing.

"Wait, why am I calling this function directly instead of calling its parent?"

Me - If only there where more people like this in the world, surely world Peace would be achieved.

Friend - maybe, but don't call me sherley.

(After several hours of debugging a returned "mal formed xml" error)

Me: We found out your api does accept our XML only if its elements are in certain order.

They: Oh! yes. :)

Me: ... and since XML should not depend on order, maybe you should fix that. Or at least alert about it in docs.

They: Yes, maybe we should. :)

Me: ... OK

!rant
@dfox maybe add a "type" field at the bottom of the rant creation screen so people can classify rants as rant or !rant and not have to remember to type !rant (maybe auto-prepend "!rant")

Plus it would be nice to have the option to filter out non rants if people want to

Why is everything slow in windows even if I have a 16GB memory? Maybe because not SSD? 😑

Slow to open in windows:
- Docker, Postman, etc

I thought SQL was supposed to be very easy? I'd like to jump off a balcony right now because of it ...
I don't know if I'm just dumb or if my sources for learning are bad or idk
maybe I'm just tired and dislike SQL

So am mainly a backend developer , my friend called me asking if I can hack someone phone ..!
I asked him if the phone is in the same wifi network as urs. Then maybe there is a possibility .. he said : " I only have the phone number . And also the phone is switched off .. I keep calling it and it's always off .. "
I told him .. : dude if I can hack a switched off phone ! We wouldn't be friends.. !!!! 🤭🤭

"Hey, maybe we should do this! Why aren't we doing this?"

We are, this is on the roadmap and we just discussed it last week. Why bother discussing and documenting it if you are not even gonna read it? I'm tired of repeating the same thing over and over again.

(sing this in the "If I were a boy" melody from Beyoncé)

If I had a job,
I think I'd want to support,
this awesome platform we call devRant,
but right now sadly just can't...
[oooh]

If I had a job (again),
I think I would buy CodePeeen (amen),
by buy I mean I would buy plan pro,
but I ain't got no fixed income, no
[I ain't]

If I had no school,
I'd be game dev or web noob,
I would design like in the 90ies,
pink website showing panties, oh yes...
[that'd be cool!]

If I were adult,
I wouldn't laugh at these jokes,
I would know the hard and real life,
and maybe even have a loved wife...
[maybeeee]

People who tell me they hate PHP, though when I ask said person whether he's used PHP all he can answer is "maybe once".

Don't hate on a language if you have barely even used it

No commits?!? Well, maybe you should fucking make up your mind about what the fuck you actually want! I don't give a flying fuck about your pathetic excuses. If you don't get me a final spec, then don't try to skin my back about not delivering updates and "not showing active progress"!!! FFS!

YouTubers that beg you to like and subscribe. "SmASh tHaT LiKE buTTon and DoN'T FOrgEt to SubSCRIbe." Maybe focus on creating good and consistent content rather than whining like a little bitch about how I should subscribe to your channel, and I'll consider if it's worth subscribing to your content.

I just

>Sitting at desk pondering over what is wrong with code.

:Top

BRAIN : "maybe we will think better with /another/ cup of cofee?"

Repeat until

BRAIN : "damn now im too jittery to think about code. Maybe if I relax woth some music/meme hunting ill be able to focus"

Repeat until

BRAIN : "Damnit i spent 2 hours on 9gag and not coding. Gotta get back to this bug squashing but im now so tired. Maybe some cofee will help me think"

Goto Top

IBM, because I work in there.
Well maybe it wouldn't be as bad if I didn't work at command centre. From the beginning I did my best to get a promotion, but it resulted in me having shitton of workload and no raise. Maybe it's just shitty management tho. But still.

Hm.. I wonder if maybe Google finally hired a deaf person....

This stuff is the main reason I wanted to work for Google.

awww shit dog, I got the job! Now they wanna know which OS I want installed on my company computer. Wondering if maybe I'm still secretly being interviewed....

Start writing unit tests?!
Maybe?
Perhaps..
If they'll let me..
Ok, no!
Just survive ffs!!

As an "OOP Programmer" you have one job to do:

Kill all the if statements.

Sometimes with fire.

It's 00:54. I'm supposed to wake up at 8.30AM. Not even tired. In front of my computer, with a frozen Visual Studio Code on the left screen and a frozen Madeon music on the right screen.
My CMS won't get compiled anymore, due to lack of memory. I have 16gb of RAM, gave it 4 of them, and it froze. If I give it less, it just won't compile. Why. I can't figure out wether if it's my code which has some memory leaks or if there's just too much JavaScript in it. What did fuck up? My code? React? Material-UI? The way I want to mix them all together? Maybe I just shouldn't have used React to cover up everything, and maybe I shouldn't have used Ruby on Rails the way I did.

Fuck.

What do I do now.

So I just spent over two hours trying to get...5 elements to align nice and even. Sometimes I would think I had it then..nope. Everything is thrown way off.

The one thing I've learned so far is to throw everything into more divs if something isn't working, and maybe that'll work

Dear team leader, If you tell me „I need to review this merge request before merging”, then make sure you are able to allocate time to do this.

If you need MORE THAN A WEEK to even start, then maybe your delegation skills are nonexistent.

New malware on the lose.
It encrypts your files.
But with a twist, it unlocks it again if you spread the malware to friends.

Maybe run it in a vm to get the key to unlock your files might work...

I'm sorry but Laravel is for brainless programmers who wants to be spoon feed all the time.

Laravel is maybe fast to develop and easy to understand but its only because it is poorly designed/written.

That damn Eloquent, if misuse by ignorant or amateur programmer, will definitely bring a disaster to the whole system.

Boss: I wonder how the whole plan failed

Developer *thinking*: If only I could have told this to you weeks ago. Well, I knew you wouldn't listen. Your actions were clear. Your loss. Or maybe it kinda became my plan to fail the plan and it work worked. Idk, lol. Maybe next time don't categorise what I say as negative by asking me to frame it positively. I won't give any feedback then, especially critical feedback to improve

School, if you're gonna define a custom local DNS for your networks, maybe make sure it's healthy?

New line manager is a recluse

Hear from him maybe once a week if I'm lucky

Airs my messages for at least a day

Never felt happier at work

If you throw a dirty gunk-ice-snow-mix ball into my food while I'm walking to school WHILE I AM REALLY FUCKING HUNGRY, I'm going to pour that now non-edible food onto your head, dimwit.

I don't care if your clothes were expensive or if you threw it in there accidentally. Maybe next time at least throw a non-dirty snowball, there was plenty of fresh snow.

Slaps on the forehead!
I'm not trying to criticize the fella but if you don't know how to deal with Linux maybe you should practise first!

"Can we do X?"
Yes, we can do almost anything you want.
"Can we have it ready by last month?"
No.
"What about 2 weeks ago?"
Not feasible.
"Yesterday?"
Sorry I don't think we can.

For real though, how do you deal with unrealistic delivery expectations? I'm not sure if I'm supposed to keep saying no to everything, or if they keep asking in hopes that maybe this time it'll be ok.

Modern cross platform mobile app development is a lie. Maybe if you do Apple first, I don't know. Maybe xamarin is better than Cordova, idk. I've spent more time tweaking to one platform than I would have just starting with a platform and writing two or three code bases. I've got more if iOS statements than I know what to do with and the Windows code is some hacky transpiled mess because UWP isn't ES6 ready for reasons. Also, some error and image handling just doesn't translate. All this and I've got significantly less features than I could have implemented in the same time writing in a native language.

If the package.json is longer than your actual code this maybe shouldnt be a package. Just saying.

Seeing some jokes about AI and deterministic if/else sort of logic... in a really sleep deprived state I start to wonder - if we are able to make AI that REALLY begins to pass as intelligent / self aware / sentient and imitates us.... and it spawns from deterministic lower level logic that has just grown from an uncontrollably large amount of inputs and complications... will we just end up convincing ourselves that we don't actually have free will either? Maybe we just have an amazing natural data lake. :-/

I think people get *way* too annoyed if someone tags their post here with the wrong tag, even with completely new users

Seriously, who cares if you see a few jokes in your rant feed? I know some of the jokes are bad, and in that case just scroll past them, even downvote it if you have to, maybe remind them to post it in the right tag even, but it annoys me seeing posts here about people being as annoyed as they are about wrong tags

Remember about this project of mine? Maybe not because I deleted the rant, but after a long pause I re-started working on it. In -just- 1 hour I wrote this code that picks a random number, goes from 0 to 5 and, if found, it prints the match.
This is my most (useless && senseless) project by far.

As if somebody who isn't a dev can understand these Explanations and even cares about the Name and Provider of a cookie. Maybe they took GDPR a step to far.

But it's nice to see that you can even say, which cookies you want them to use.

Job advertisement :
Ongoing project in
- .Net Core
- Docker
- AWS
- DDD and microservices

Reality :
- For now we have one monolith solution with 60 projects in .Net Framework, hosted on premise.
- But on the jobs board it was described as something completely opposite.
- We are going to migrate maybe this year, if we will have time

Dear Game-Devs,

if your game takes some time to load that's fine but please do NOT let me press a button after starting the game and THEN start loading the menu for some time and instead load the menu immediately! What's the point of that? If I know it takes some time I want to start it and maybe get a coffee and when I come back everything is loaded...

They ask me, why do you hate Python? Well, maybe because I prefer fucking warnings and no fucking exit the program after 2 hours of computation if the parameter is unexpected. Fuck off

I can't tell if I'm slacking off or now working at a more normal, slower pace....

How much time do you actually spend working vs taking breaks, lunch?

Or maybe how many hours in a day, do you actually spend being productive?

I feel like 75% of stories here are about high schools. Maybe it’s because of the younger user base but also I think school security is beyond woeful.

I can’t even tell if my school just botched the setup or if the vendor thought it’d be a sick joke but we had software that the teacher would use to remotely look at everyone doing work but we found that if you press the help button it opens the same window where you see everyone’s desktops and can mess with them (how trivial, I know).

Morning guys. How are your desks? Do you use normal desk or maybe standing one? Do you keep your desk clean or maybe it's more like a mess? Haha!
If someone is curious about my hardware on the photo:
- Dell XPS 15 9550
- Marshall Mode Headphones
- 16gb pendrive that's in business card format but just the important part of it as you can see
Post your desks!
Greetings from my coding buddy cactus 🌵

I write JavaScript and C#. Like an author. Now and then I send my work for review so it can be published.... If I start telling people that instead of saying I am a developer maybe they will stop nagging me about their printers and shitty malware-loaded computers.

Anyone else hates this kind of statements:

if ( doSomething() != SUCCESS ) {
//log error
}else {
//continue doing other stuff
}

I simply find that confusing. This is much better:

If ( doSomething == SUCCESS ){
//continue doing other stuff
}else {
//log error
}

Maybe just my opinion.

They ask me if I have girlfriend(s), I speechless for maybe 5-10 second, then they told me the answer is define my sallary..

Is that normal / common question.?

All of the Packt interactive workshops are free until the end of May using the code 'PACKTFREE' on checkout.
Maybe useful if you want to learn a couple of new things.

courses.packtpub.com

Hi guys @dfox @trogus , just wanted to report a tiny annoyance lol

If a rant is posted with a picture, then edited, I don't see any way to remove the picture without deleting the rant.

The "Attach img/gif" should say remove current attachment when the post is being edited, or an additional button maybe.

Thanks, others can give suggestions if got em (:

Hello everyone.
So, i am thinking about where to get lists of programming languages, frameworks and softwares that is fundamental. For example:
If i would like to develop a web site. I would use html, css, js & php. Maybe a site or frameworks for reference and 'roadmap'. I want to become a good programmer.

"Instead of asking the user to make a choice up front, maybe we can set a smart default and see if there is high demand after launch for more customization." - Rebecca Rolfe

Oh one boi

or maybe
#define while if

r/ProgrammerHumour

If I have to change my domain password every 3 months for a bullshit out of date security policy (there's plenty of evidence suggesting that changing passwords is actually worse security), then maybe, just FUCKING maybe, make sure that that password change appropriately filters down to things like SQL Server so I can keep doing my goddamn work.

If I'm not productive during the day, idk what you expect holding me 3h after work will do.

Maybe not keep your employees in perpetual crunch for 2 years, and then berate them for missing the deadlines that YOU SET!

I wonder if there are more real developers or fake ones? Maybe even? Too many people stick their nose where they shouldn't be and create too many problems for people who actually work and do something.

Anyone else here hardly code in their free time? I'm a professional developer yes but I tend to leave work at work. Maybe if I found something fun to work on with others... Or a personal project I really wanted to do for me.

Started my first private App project using all the goodies of 2017 android development like TDD, Android architecture components (hence MVVM), kotlin (which I yet have to learn), RxJava2 (if I need it additionally to AAC) and maybe try to set up a CI environment.

Wish me luck guys and girls 😁

!rant
Even if I don't like a rant that much - if it's getting a lot of ++ and is close to 175 (maybe like 150) I always give it another one to give it that little nudge. I'm just that kind of a guy.

I come back after a week of vacation and everything is broken.
What does Jenkins say?
Jobs disabled days ago.
- Yeah it hangs randomly and is blocking other projects.

Don't know if I'm gonna cry or laugh like a maniac, maybe both.

(Not sure if this is a rant.)
My mom got a Surface Pro a few days ago. I'm kinda happy because she'll be using more tech stuff. I mean, she used to do most of her work on her phone or on plain paper. Maybe she'll warm up towards using a laptop and maybe I can slowly introduce her to Linux. 🤔
Any suggestions for a Linux distro for a complete newbie?

If you have a system76 laptop and are frustrated with the battery life, like I was, maybe I can help you. Following a mishmash of instructions I found online, I've extended my battery life from about two hours to almost five.

If they want me to play with a stable connection so bad, maybe they could've not put the weakest available wifi antenna in their console?

Anyway I finally found out I can use my phone as a repeater so that's nice.

If you can't find the solution to a problem using Google, just try as long as you can. Think of all possibilities when a problem occurs. (Maybe even take advice from a person you don't like...)

One time I had to review some SAP / Excel / Visual Basic toolchain.

It was a huge mess with like 10 layers of if-then cases in around 1000 lines of code analyzing excel sheets, resolving error codes etc. in maybe two functions.

It turned out that I programmed that code about 8 years ago :/

"Instead of asking the user to make a choice up front, maybe we can set a smart default and see if there is high demand after launch for more customization." - Rebecca Rolfe

Feeling bad, a woman on the street just asked me for money. I said I don't have cash. Then she said just a sandwich and I continued repeating no without any time to think if that was real. Maybe she was really hungry. I turned back but she disappeared.

Maybe this is naive, but I feel if an application/feature is strategically important to a company, at least two developers should always be assigned to support it routinely. This great resignation is no joke, and I’m getting tired of being the last man standing here. I’m too old for this shit.

After seeing all these photos of people in stores full of rubber ducks, I just want to start a rubber duck store for the sole purpose of meeting devs by asking anyone who takes a picture if they are a dev.

Maybe this will be how they hire devs in 20 years...

The day I read The Simulation Argument, by Nick Bostrom, a thought popped into my mind: "if we are made of code, maybe there are ways to hack life as you would hack some random program", I started thinking privilege escalation over the simulation, buffer overflow, picking signals as if I was eavesdropping... it was an epiphany and also fun

people always hate on ReactOS

maybe it would be worth your time if they actually had help and/or donations

So I just read the Blink to "Poke the Box" and one question it raised was.

If you had no obstacles and unlimited resources (I guess like if you could retire right now and do anything you want), what would you do?

For myself I couldn't really think of something/a goal/big project that would keep me interested...

(I vaguely remember maybe there was a Weekly Rant about this...)

Mobvoi just launched the new Ticwatch S2/E2. Currently have the S1.

This FAQ page has me scratching my head. Guess their documentation team wrote part of this before they decided to pull the NFC feature?

Maybe?

If so, that's something in common with my company 🤣

Just finished watching 2 episodes of the Bill Gates Netflix doc.... Wondering if maybe I should change my username... Nowhere near the genius and hard worker he seems to be...

Unity has a nice feature where if you search for an item in your hierarchy, it fades to white as if it just crashed.

Thanks for the heart attack, Unity! Maybe this serves as a reminder to save frequently because it *does* crash a lot.

Less screen time.

Stepping away to realize that maybe I'm part of the problem.

Talking to my manager about frustrations if they persist.

!rant
Who here remembers dateprog.com? If you don't, it was a dating site for devs and those who like devs. I'm tempted to ressurect the damn thing, although not as a dating site but more of a social network (think GitHub + Tumblr). Anyone else think that'd be a good idea? I'm also thinking this'll be more than just my weekend sorted, haha. It'd have to have chat, code repos, GitHub login, etc... what do you guys think?
Also not planning to invade the territory of devRant I was just wondering if anyone was interested. Maybe even some kind of extension to devRant, as a social coding platform? I'm not sure aha. Welp, anyway if anybody's interested drop a comment! :)

Every passing day in this country drives me crazier.

Someday, maybe soon, I'll go insane.

I feel claustrophobic and suffocated. My interests are changing even if I don't desire to. Feels like a forced changed, as the new ones don't necessarily make me happy, and rather remould me to fit into a toxic environment/society.

While I was raised in this environment, most of my opinions formed via internet which had a heavy influence from the west. When I got to my sense, almost at the age of 24, was the time when I started forming opinions. Internet was my only pal. Family/friends never bothered about me. And now when I dream of and work hard towards moving out, the same family/friends guilt me into not doing so. Maybe they care now, maybe they are jealous, maybe something else.

Even if I settle down here, convincing myself that I desire such a life and counting the benefits of doing so, it won't make me happy.

The heart wants, what the heart wants.

unpopular opinion: maybe updates would take under <super long time that's overblown> if you did it more often. Also defrag your standard HDDs like every month (weekly if you really want the performance boost)

Is it okay if i dont know a programming terms but i know how to do it? Like they want me to explain what i've done and what i use when i done it. Example ( i use java predefine clases bla bla bla....). I dont really know or maybe i just cant remember the terms.

Machine learning?
Maybe just maybe you could ask the user what he wants?

Or is the ML logic something like.
if(last_alert.status == unread)
user = uninterested;
else
user = interested;

Maybe you already know it and I’m just retarded.. but if not, try out kodi + Exodus add-on👌

Most comfortable streaming I’ve ever experienced.

(Here in my country streaming is completely legal so no hate please:))

Haven't even finished the wire frame prototypes and my client is asking if I can get the site complete mid-December because they want to advertise via radio.

Maybe if you stopped changing your mind about the layout and features then I could get this done a little faster. Glad I'm charging per hour!

On the plus side, at least they asked this time - last time they had purchased a load of radio time and then gave me a deadline.

Customer has design review for big project I’m working on, have to sit with someone who isn’t a developer and explain my code.

Cunts, cunts, cunts.

If you don’t understand or know about code maybe you shouldn’t be a code reviewer.

Release:
1. with all features
2. on time
3. on budget (budgeted resources)

Choose two. Maybe just one. If you try to do all, you may not get any.

Whenever I'm asked if something is possible, I've resorted to responding "With infinite time and resources, anything is possible"

Going to register a company soon. Wonder if Shite Tech is available? Maybe Broken Technolgies.. suggestions?

"Warning: Functions are not valid as a React child. This may happen if you return a Component instead of <Component /> from render. Or maybe you meant to call this function rather than return it."

WHERE. TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK THE PROBLEM IS HAPPENING. OR SHUT THE FUCK UP.

"I don’t care if you’re a billionaire. If you haven’t started a company, really gambled your resume and your money and maybe even your marriage to just go crazy and try something on your own, you’re no pirate and you aren’t in the club." - Michael Arrington

How to handle a manager who manages to find fault in everything you do ... Butt fails to acknowledge any of the good work

It's not like the feedbacks from his end are valuable , often times they are illogical and based on false assumptions

Is the behaviour from manager toxic ?

I end up getting uneasy everytime I hear a false superficial backhanded sarcastic remark on how and what I should have done differently

And when I really deliver something critical i don't even get an acknowledgement ... forget about compliment

Maybe I don't have a thick skin , maybe I'm taking the I'm a victim mentality here ... Maybe I should view everything with a more positive outlook ... but I really doubt if I'm at fault here

And I'm not sure if he's like this with other guys , but I suspect I'm the only one who's being treated like this ..

Should I "escalate" this to someone?

So I'm thinking about trying arch linux finally :) I've always heard the installation process was complex but I'm wondering if it's gotten easier or maybe it's just all hype? I'm very used to ubuntu and debian based installations. What are your guys thoughts on this?

Programming was my backup plan if I didn’t make it as a guitarist in a death metal band lmao.

If I wasn’t a developer, I’d probably try CAD or maybe land surveying.

I don't know if I'm mentally connected to the other developers in the world, or maybe I sleepwalk and read devRant at night while I sleep, but every time I think something someone else has posted it a few hours before.

Even something stupid like "why the left is called left hand side? Doesn't make sense"

I wonder if Google released Flutter because they can't let Facebook have all the fun with react native. Or maybe they did it because they had fushia os in mind for a loooong time. Or maybe because they realized that the android api is overly complicated and the Dart way is easier. Or maybe they did it for the lolz.

Any good async (if possible, also pipeline based) Networking libraries for C++ on Linux? I want to create a small Server which should be able to handle a big amount of TCP connections (~500) at the same time, using threadpools maybe, something like Netty for Java would be the best.

Screw DataStage
Screw Saleforce
Screw the $25k/week Vendor who finishes work maybe 60% complete, if I’m being generous.
Screw the business rushing to us to fix their shadow IT cluster.

Don't trust someone as counterpart if he says he doesn't know anything. Maybe it's not just a joke...

Google delays launch of Lenovo Phab2 pro by a month.. and launches Pixel..

maybe because nobody would buy Pixel if both were launched together..

(Coz Phab2 has Tango and thus the first phone that will actually support AR!)

People posting their (not so good) workstation. Post it if you code on 3 widescreens, 9 monitors, a gaming rig or if your debug duck is a ducking (pun (maybe)) dragon.

A laptop on a 10 inch table is pretty sad.

Hey maybe a retarded question but if I buy a new motherboard, can I just plug my hard drive back in and have it run no problems?

Anyone else noticed this on Chrome mobile? If you stay still long enough on a website and try to scroll up, you will refresh instead.

Maybe this is a dirty fix to some security issue?

I will take the frustration of seeing technology not properly working in Germany with me to the grave. Ticket automat crashing if you directly select the destination, but if you follow the instructions on their piece of paper stuck to the automat to go first to the "Regionaltariff" button and then select your destination, that works. If you have to put a piece of paper explaining your software, because if you do it otherwise, it crashes, maybe you should think about the fact that it sucks.

Tips on getting promoted on work:

1. Collect a list of all improvements and achievements that u did during your time in that workplace

2. Compare your output with your colleagues output, check their MR's, their complexity and compare with yours.

3. Talk with your manager about a raise. Tell him about your achievements, like maybe you are working on a wider scope than others. Maybe you are mentoring junior devs. Or maybe you deal with a bigger workload than others but still deliver on time. Maybe your communication is good or maybe you document stuff very well and in that way you make your team more efficient and increase team output. Whatever. Pitch and sell yourself. Also provide some personal reasons why you need a raise, like maybe u have kids or maybe your rent doubled. Inflation and so on. Selling point is that u are a human not a greedy bastard.

At the end of that talk the manager most likely will say that he needs to speak higher ups, he needs to gather feedback from your colleagues and so on. Give him a week or two if possible, no more.

He will probably get back to you with an offer. If there is none start applying, get an offer and put in your notice. In my case I waited 3 months for my raise to go through. I put in my notice, had a stressed call from manager, showed him my offer and my raise was arranged the next day.

I have always wondered this: The compiler knows that I need to have semicolon at the end of the line. It complains to me about is missing. Why can't it add that semicolon there by itself?? I mean, clearly it's the smarter one of us two. It knows all those language standards and is able to check them. I know jack shit. Still instead of helping me, it has to be a bitch and just nag.

Also, what's this business with "true" or "false"? How the hell should I know? Most of the time I am like "maybe". I want code like this:

if (myVar =~ true)
function1()
else sometimes
function2()
or maybe
function3()
or instead usually
function4()

if (error = true)
fix it

Wow I'm first!! Uhm... 8... I forgot to take lunch break cuz I was really busy or the code was really interesting...

If within 24 hrs... Maybe 12... I had to login at night a few times to finish urgent work (bug fixes)

It’s 2019.
* Google employee reviews.
* Maybe check out how volatile their stock prices are (if they’re publicly traded).
* Use LinkedIn to find their employees and then stalk them on Facebook and see what kind of content they post.
* If you can’t tell from that, just DM them. Tell them why you’re contacting them and ask for their honest opinion.

This is a place for ranting, right? It's "Dev"-"Rant", right?
So, why so much hate when people do actually rant?
Kinda defeats the purpose, doesn't it? Or maybe the name is just misleading...
Or maybe y'all just gate-keeping ranting - which is... ya, okay - you do you, you preppy tosser.

Anyway, on that note:
I fucking hate web-development.
I fucking hate CSS.

CSS isn't a tool, it's a curse.
It's like a soft black magic system:
This specific behavior can sometimes be created by combining these specific elements, but will fall apart if you're a gemini - unless you wore a colorful hat at your fifth birthday party. If you didn't have a party, it'll produce some random behavior of the deer-god's choosing.

Who the hell is writing google documentation, If I see you, I want to fuck your stupid ass mofo... These docs are useless as fuck. I think it's the same person or maybe there are many copies of this washed head stupid ass writing the same kind of shitty docs all over the place.

In some comments on a rant I saw @bahua wrote this:

>Red flags in the interview process are >the biggest risk signals I know, and I >take them very seriously. #1 red flag: >they want to know your >previous/current salary. If they won't >bend on that, then I end the >conversation.

Seems quite interesting, can anybody list more such "red flags" and maybe ellaborate a bit and give a few anecdotes?

(sorry, @bahua, if you dont wanna be quoted. just tell me if so)

For me is the same Friday than Monday. I do not know if it is good or bad. Maybe it is good because I do not hate my job or bad because I do not make so much fun on weekends. 😗😗

Microsoft bought Github so what ? It's not like github is the most important tool out there. If they break it we'll just move on to something else no problem just chill people. Give them the benefit of doubt maybe they'll make it even better.

I saw a fly/mosquito flying around my apartment a few days ago so I ordered a bug zapper.

Haven't noticed it yesterday so wondering if it was some sort of illusion and well maybe I wasted my money.

While wondering it suddenly appeared above me...

Me to my code:

"""
Baby can I run you tonight?;
And maybe if told you the right words;
Wooo at the right place;
We'll debug... X2;
"""

!rant, but maybe useful tip for someone:
if you like listening to something while falling asleep, but dislike the idea of your pc being needlessly on through the whole night:
1. cmd
2. shutdown -t 3600 -s

(replace the number with seconds (up to 10 years =D) you want the computer to shut down after)

Maybe if i click my heels together a few times and think happy thoughts reality will return

I don’t really regret anything because I’m extremely happy with my current situation, but maybe I should’ve gone for a CS degree to make my life a bit easier. But who knows if it would’ve made things better or worse, I’ll never know.

I swear I will commit a hate crime if my ISP keeps messing up the order

I expected to have a connection to 1st November to maybe the 5th

I still haven't gotten shit

Borrowing a JavaScript book from the school library and realizing that it was published years ago and is very outdated because it always refers to the compatibility with Internet Explorer. I'm not sure if I should continue because after all, it's the basics. Maybe it's worth returning already... or maybe not because I don't always have access to the internet, but a book is easily accesible with or without internet.

Maybe is just me but I'm starting to move from the idea that work needs to be fun at all.

If it is, awesome! If it's not it's OK because work is just about 20% of my life in which I don't have a lot of control but enables me to have control over the other 80% (hobbies, relationships, community, fun)

Stackoverflow is great but sometimes I want to ask 'bad' questions. Questions that cannot be answered. I just want to see opinions no matter how biased. Maybe this is the place? Or is there somewhere else?

btw anyone know if there is any is a decent free ui for mongoDB that works with Atlas?

>compiling Linux 3DS' zImage overnight
>start compiler at 4PM
>11:54PM -- compiling clang: <file>: conpiler: *internal compiler error*: segmentation fault
okay, well, maybe if we continue make from there it'll fix itself? Might've run out of RAM...
>make
>5 seconds later, segfault again
FUCK

Microsoft Stuff...
Maybe if they open-sourced their technologies they wouldn't suck!

Okay, if I understand correctly, if you want your website to be RGPD compliant, you must wait for user opt-in before storing anything to their device.

Maybe I'm asking myself too much questions but, how exactly does this work for a PWA ? Should you ask user for permission before starting a service worker and/or before caching any content ? If so, what if the user refuses the authorization ? The app is broken ? Or it just fallback to good old http browsing if it's server-rendered ?

Does vim have a tree view and multiple tabs? Maybe some sort of plugin? How bout Neovim? If there is anyway to get that on vim I am sold, but until then I’m sticking with my text editor.