MS buys Github?

GitHub Starter
GitHub for Students
GitHub Home Basic
GitHub Home Premium
GitHub Professional
GitHub Enterprise
GitHub Business
GitHub Ultimate
GitHub 2018 R2
...

Friend: I hate my new OnePlus 6. It's really slow and hangs a lot

Me: I can't believe

Friend: Use it yourself, you'll know.

*Me using his phone
*Realising it was really slow
*Checking his installed apps

- CCleaner
-DU Booster
-Antivirus free version
-Antivirus pro
-Antivirus ultimate
-Battery Saver
-App Booster
-Super Cleaner
-RAM Master

*poured poision in his coffee
*enjoyed watching him die slowly

EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2019)
-------------------------
Hey everyone!

Today, @trogus and I are very happy to announce a devRant feature that we’ve been working on for many months. After extensive time and money investment, it’s finally here! Introducing, pixelated avatars!

@trogus came up with this awesome idea about a year ago, but we couldn’t get it just right so we had to tons of work/research to make those pixelated avatars give the full sense of retro and ULTIMATE pixelation. We think everyone will appreciate how this effort turned out.

Anyway, let us know what you think, and we hope you enjoy!

p.s. here is @trogus’s avatar - the model we used to make sure the feature is perfect!

How do I get into my ultimate coding zone...? I turn on my computer. :) Hehe..

Laravel is the worst framework ever.

Everything has to be made convenient and easy. That sounds amazing, because developers want to save time, worry less about boilerplate code, right? No more constructors, no more dependency injection, fuck all the tedious OOP shit... RIGHT?

It does one thing well: Make PHP syntax uniform and concise through easily integrated libraries such as Collection and Carbon. But those are actually not really part of the framework... just commonly integrated and associated with Laravel.

The framework itself is completely derailed: You can define code in a callback in the routes file. You can define a controller in the routes file. You can define middleware as a parameter to the route, as a fluent method to the route, you can stack them up in a service provider. Validators can be made in controllers, Request objects, service providers, etc. You can send mail inline, through Mailable objects, through Notification objects, etc.

Everything is macroable, injectable, and definable in a million different places. Ultimate freedom!

Guess what happens when you give 50 developers of various seniority a swiss army knife?

One hammers in a screw with a nail file, the other clips the head from the screw using scissors, and you end up with an unworkable mess and blunt tools.

And don't get me started about Eloquent, the Active Record ORM. It's cute for the simple blog/article/author/comment queries, but starts choking when you want more selective and performant queries or more complex aggregates, and provides such an opaque apple-esque interface which lets people think everything is OK, when in reality it's forcing the SQL server to slowly commit suicide.

users are the ultimate testers

Really pissed of by tha Boss!
Working late with the project then next day, the Boss is talkin nonsense.....

When browsing I saw this, quite an ultimate view

the ultimate automatic "boss key"

!rant

Guys... I've figured it out. Instead of wearing black hoodies, we should all wear white turtlenecks. We'll be the ultimate hackers. No one would suspect a hipster of being h4XX0r mastermind.

the ultimate dick move: invite your dev to a meeting, scheduled a few weeks ahead, with title "performance issues", without any further comments or notice in advance. when dev, seeing this invitation and feeling kicked right in the face, asks if this meeting is about a certain project or their individual working performance, just answer "both" without any further comments. if they have any more questions about it, just tell them you have no time to answer because meetings.

Think I've found the ultimate coding accessory, eyes on your fingers! 👀😂

So my girlfriend was complaining about the lights late night. As a regular dev I code until about 2am in the morning.
So here I present the ultimate dark theme. Darkroom red. No additional light source required, just your monitor(s).

This should make everyone happy... Right?

My ultimate setup :)

ultimate debugging machine :D

A couple of weeks ago, I asked the "brand manager" if he knew how to reset printers to their defaults before reconfiguring them, knowing full well that he did not. He assured me that he did. I smiled and let him leave.

He called me yesterday, frantic, because he didn't know how to reconfigure a printer that already had a password. After reminding him of the above, I told him how to put the printer in diagnostic mode and how to navigate the menus. Literally: "Turn the printer off, then hold down the feed paper button while turning the printer on. It will print out a bunch of diagnostics, and a menu at the bottom. Just follow the instructions at the bottom to use the menu"

Apparently following simple instructions is well outside of his abilities. After he spent five minutes fighting with it and complaining, I called him and walked him through powering the printer on while holding down the feed paper button. Terribly difficult.

The next step amounts to "hold down the feed paper button for more than 1 second." He spent ten minutes (ten!) on this unimaginably challenging step, and, frustrated at his inability to outsmart a simple button, he gave up completely.

He literally couldn't follow the instructions on the printout. I've attached a picture to show how ridiculous this is, and it saddens me terribly to report that I'm quite serious. he was literally unable to figure this out.

HE SPENT TEN MINUTES TRYING TO PUSH A BUTTON FOR >1 SECOND! TEN MINUTES!
That's what was too difficult for him! A button! With written instructions!

I can't even.

But the kicker?
Now he and the bossman want me to drive half an hour so I can push a button for ~1.2 seconds because they're utterly incapable.

I'm soo done.
So. done.

Now that I have time to approach my ultimate dream ( being the pro penrester ) , asked a hacker for a road map and he gave me (U'll rarely see such open hackers that share knowledge :) )
Surprisingly I've been familiar with all the topics but being the most pro , requires u to be pro in every single topic .

Guess what ? I'm starting from basic linux commands all over again 😂
echo 'hello world :/'

The ultimate "I am vegan" guy will be arch linux user, vegan, trans, crossfitter and cryptocurrency investor. I've just met guy like this in my job. He did not shut up for a while. I am not sure whats he doing and whats his job but my guess is that hes paid for spreading cancer, sucidal toughts and eatig your will to live and talk with people...

R - retard
M - me

R: Hey CopyPasteCode I found this bug, it does 'this' insted of 'this'. *spreads arms to see his "muscles"*
M: *headphones off* Ok, I will look into it... *headphones back on*
R: Btw you invested something in the crypto, didnt you? Ive invested... ...bitcoin... ...crypto... ...litecoin..., do you think that... ...something... ...bla bla bla?
M: *tries not to kill myself after his 5 minutes of monolog* Ye sure
R: By the way Ive found this awesome vegan restaurant that accepts litecoin, would you like to come sometime?
M: *10 minutes monolog about vegan food and shit. At this point I want to die* Ok, I will now work on that back, see you later.
R: ye sure bro (wtf, "bro"?)... *looks like hes walking away* *teleports on my otger side touching my monitor*
WOW you are also a Limux user? 😮 Ivr installed arch linux this weekand and its so awesome, *another 6 minutes of monolog*
M: *smiling and preparing to kill him or myself* Nice, awesome *fake smile*
R: Anyway, I gotta go (FINALLY!!!), btw, I am going to the *name of local trans and gay club*, wanna go with me?
M: *after a month after a breakup with my GF (because she was cheating on me) which everyone in the office knew...)* Not really *trying to thing how to say "fuck off" without having meeting with HR*, I cant, I already have somethimg.
R: Oh, ok. Btw, you are rly cool bro (again), we should hang. We should hangout more often...

I hope someone is paying me for loosing 27 minutes with this guy.

It's not motivation that you need, it's dedication.

You see, motivation is temporary thing, that sudden flow of dopamine running through your body that you get after some success or after being admired by someone or simply after good sleep and nice morning shower.

But the problem with motivation is that it's just temporary thing. After a while (hours, days, if you're lucky weeks) it just wears off and you're left pretty much where you started.

But there's one thing that remains and that's persistent. It's called DEDICATION. If you dedicate yourself to something, you are willing to do it no matter what it takes from you. Even if it frustrates you along the way or makes you angry, you wanna be able to say "It's finished. I'm satisfied with it" after you finish it. You are willing to crawl to the finishing line but no matter the obstacle, just knowing that you're getting closer to the finishing line is gonna motivate you. Your dedication is gonna become motivation generator. And that's the key. You need the passion and dedicate yourself to it.

But hey, sound simple but we all know the struggle. Sometimes it's even hard to recognize dedication from motivation. And sometimes you just go "Ok. Fuck it. I'm done" and leave it and that's okay AS LONG AS you get back to it after a while. As long as the inner you, the dedicated you that got you here in the first place, goes "Dude, it's tough. But it's alright, we refreshed a bit and now we're gonna fucking make it" (nope, I don't have schizophrenia) and you listen and get back at it.

Dedication is tough. It's about self control and understanding yourself deeply and balancing your mind. It's nirvana of success. It's the ultimate balance. But you can get there. If you want. Badly.

TL;DR You need dedication, not motivation. Punish yourself and reward yourself. Not too harsh and not too much. Just so that you don't lose track.

But most of all, GOOD LUCK YOU AMAZING FUCKS!

The ultimate easiest way to be a developer

The ultimate paradox

That moment when I realise why the CD of Ultimate Boot CD I have asked the tech team to burn for me does not boot... Because it *contains* the ISO file...

Atom is free.
Visual Studio Code is free.
Jetbrains IntelliJ IDEA Ultimate is $500 per year.

Atom has Teletype.
Visual Studio / Code has LiveShare.
Jetbrains IntelliJ has "Can you send me over the file and I'll try to figure out the issue without any sort of context?"

THE ULTIMATE BERMUDA TRIANGLE OF A CODER

Devs are my closest friends and I have learned so much from you all.

They ask some of the best questions, their skill set is ever evolving, they have the real problem solving mindset, they are critical towards any and everything in a good way, and so much more.

There was this thread asking what a bad Product Manager is and this answer takes the cake.

The point highlighted in red is the ultimate truth.

Devs are most innovative people of our times. Big shout-out to you all and thank you for making me who I am today :)

FOR FUCK SAKE APPLE! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU STILL IN THIS WORLD!

Was creating a signed file of the app to upload to their store and while XCode (that bitch!) was working on it, Slack, and Postman crashed!
Do I need to say why or you already knew it is because XCode ate all the RAM -.-

I never understood the appeal of Steve Jobs to other people, and had never bought an Apple product until about six years ago.

However, after buying a couple of Macbooks - including ones, circa 2012/2013, on eBay - it's very obvious that the quality has shrivelled into oblivion after his passing.

If I was to credit him with one thing, Jobs was the ultimate QA guru with long lasting products as his top priority.

Now, Apple sells glue machines and Steve Jobs would be clean slating the entire list of employees - from the top, down - if he was alive to notice how little the company seemed to care about what he had planted as the seed, many years ago.

The real question is, how do I get out of the ultimate coding zone?! 😅

Ultimate answer to TABS over SPACES! Tab eats 4 times less battery. No global warming if we switch to TABS! Share this knowledge bomb brothers!

OK heavy rant on 'modern' software development coming! --> don't take it to seriously though :-)

Electron... why does that shit exist? It is like stacking all the worst technologies available to mankind into an enormous pile of crap and polishing that turd to look like something wonderful. It is big, slow and overall AWFUL!

An example? ... Microsoft Teams :-( it burns your PC like fire and makes it squeal for mercy.

When a library/framework becomes the ultimate evolution of abstraction layer upon abstraction layer and it simply should stop to exist and a reset button needs to be pressed.

I would love to see some research on the real world environmental impact that all those shitty slow and bloated web technologies have.

Solution:

Software energy label!

C, C++ and Rust e.t.c. and all accompanying efficient UI libraries should be the only languages/implementations allowed to get a A, B and C label.

Python (without C libraries like Numpy), JavaScript and all those other slow interpreted scripting/Web API nonsense should get a D, E or F label by default.

Have fun!

People having sleep deprivation.

If your health is at stake, you may want to aim for maximum healing potential.
Humen always should prefer more natural substances and techniques.
As chemicals mostly alter the status quo but tackle the ultimate reason why.

Military has developed glasses that simulate the sunrise to wake you up / keep you awake.
That technique is like 20 years old. And who is gonna get those glasses for me?
Nowadays, studies published find humen feel more at ease by rising and sleeping with the sun and moon.
Having two weeks of camping once in a while is recommended. At least once a year.

Alternately you can try to regulate your days rhythm.
Start your day with a cup of hot speedwell tea.
Like every freaking day.
Its augmenting your activity thus easing your sleep at night.

Give every technique at least two weeks time to take effect.
And always remember :
Sleep is a thing that can be influenced but never will be controlled.

Good night ;P

the ultimate developer's keyboard.

Moving away from technology and becoming self-sufficient. A cottage with a stream on the edge of a forest, a large garden, some chickens and other animals, and no smart devices, managers, tickets, KPAs, performance reviews, legendary devs shitting out an endless stream of bugs, etc.

Peace and quiet.
And freedom at last.
That’s success.

That’s the ultimate success: escape.

Node is without a doubt the ultimate clusterfuck.

Two places: At a major NYC firm, I was in charge of social media. I was also involved with an intranet community. Something went bad with the intranet community project politics and I got blamed for it even though I had emails to prove I hadn't said/done what I was accused of. But to assert their dominance, my bosses called me to their office, sat me in literally a corner of the room, and interrogated me for 2 hours. The only thing missing was the bright light in my eyes and the "good cop" part of the routine. I'm ashamed to say they "broke" me and I just gave up and did what they told me to do to "fix" it even though I hadn't done anything wrong. The bosses were old enough to be my parents, so I wonder how much of that worked its way into the psychology of it all.

The second toxic workplace was where each month the boss would come from his home by the beach to tell us plebes what new ideas he wanted us to work on. We would just get done reporting on the results of his delusions of grandeur from the month prior and he'd pull the rug out and start us on some new thing. Never got any consistent traction on anything. He was the ultimate seagull manager: fly in, make a lot of noise, poop all over everything, and leave us cleaning up the mess. Oh, and we had to change the locks because we had to fire a customer service guy who was a little bit on the ragey side of things. Because of high turnover, I had seniority within 4 months of starting there.

I so need one of these! 😴💻

Im getting a bit tired of programming.

I have been struggling for years regarding programming. I did have some moments of perceived success, but most of the time it has been depressing.

I’m not sure if I dislike programming. But there are some aspects of it that make me feel not as passionate about it.

First of, programs are invisible. No one sees your program or you (assuming we’re talking about a non artistic dev job).

People can’t see lines of code executing, but even if they did it would be gibberish to them.

Users can only become aware of bad software and that kind of breaks my heart a bit.

You could write fast, stable, secure, easy to read, easy to update software. People won’t notice. Hell, even your boss/coworkers might not notice.

In fact, sometimes you try to do the good thing, you try to become a better dev, you try to write tests first, you try to i18n, and what do you get? “Uhh, that’s taking too much time and I don’t see the benefit”.

I know some people will say that people noticing bad service happens on every job.

But programming is the ultimate isolation job. No client has ever told me “hey that code you wrote was pretty good”. They can’t even read code.

I don’t know the users, the users don’t know me, and the users can only judge my program by the result, they can only judge the visual interface.

Let’s say you write a cool project at github. The code is great. Guess what, every language’s ecosystem out there is saturated. Everything is already written. GitHub is saturated. Your best project ends up being a just for yourself enjoyment.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy code for yourself. That’s how I bet most prolific coders start. I’ve been doing that for many years now. But at some point you want to be part of something with humans.

Imagine I’m stranded on an island with nothing no humans, just food, water and a computer. Would I write code just for myself, just for fun? I think I would off myself 3 months in.

Maybe I should do develop a more social talent...

Three word story:

I saw the infinity rant @linuxer4fun created and got inspired--it's about time we write one of those somewhat nasty, utterly random, amazingly sophisticated three word stories (spanning unto eternity!)

This means I start by writing three words, somebody else responds to that with three words, keeping within the context of the previous one, with the ultimate goal of writing an epic tale together (of dragons and stuff!)

You're not allowed to write a comment if the previous comment is yours:

if (comment.previous ().owner == you)
return false;

My boyfriend and I just got home from a seminar and had a nice teachings and talks. As the speaker ended the talk, she asked each participants as to what is our ultimate goal.

G1: to be an able lawyer
B1: civil engineer!
B2: to pass the licensure examination
BF (God's Gift): businessman
Me (mind): Gray hat
Me (...): to have a start-up tech company

Since college, I really wanted to have a start-up company in due time. ^_^

The ultimate UX:

It finally knows exactly what you are looking for, deep machine learning AI based on blockchain leveraging the power of the cloud shit

Just got started on my first summer project.

Drinkaloo: The Ultimate Drinking Game.

Never touched android studio before. This should be fun.

Finally fixing a 16 hour bug that was harassing my thoughts is a very good feeling.

Sleep is the ultimate debugging debugger.

Basically: Shoutout to my dad!

My dad's not an engineer or anything. But he likes building PCs and has a bunch of tech at home.

Well, thanks to him, I had a PC very early on, and of course, I did the typical skiddie stuff it, aka "fake batch virus haha funny" and playing Minecraft.

Well, at some point, after tinkering with mods to enhance the quality of gameplay, I found the ultimate mod: Macro / Keybind Mod.
This mod allows you to bind stuff to keybinds, such as commands or chat messages, or... Macros.

This mod has a custom macro language. (Hint: This is where the fun begins)

Another mod I used was AutoSwitch. However, that mod required a "core mod" (aka library installed in a dumb way). I thought, "why do I install 2 mods to get 1 thing? dumb", and made an ugly macro with lots of nested if-elses, which perfectly emulated AutoSwitch behavior for the Minecraft version I was on.

Yup, I basically got rid of 2 jar files in my mods folder by making my own ugly macro.

The fact that I recreated something in an obscure language, having not even coded any program before, made me grow interest into actual programming languages.

Frontend Developer wanted. Required skills: C#, PHP, MySQL, HTML, CSS, Jquery, Java, JavaScript, React, Angular, Vue, Laravel, Wordpress, Shopify, Docker, Git, SVN, Ruby.

Must have at least 3 years of working experience in a high level company. Only worked for A+ clients and ultra high traffic websites.

Also nice would be UX/UI, Design Systems, Wireframing.

Experienced in sales and cleaning floors. Getting coffee putting music on etc

Salary indication: €1800

To anyone asking for tips and tricks to start programming or become good at it, here is your ultimate golden advice: learn how to google and stop asking stupid questions like this before doing a quick research.

Reasons why:

1. You will most likely to learn better if you do your own research before asking for help. Even if you can't solve problem, you will be better and better at googling over time.
2. It is instant source of information. No need to wait for response (except response from server of course).
3. It takes only YOUR time.
4. Much more possible solutions/answers to your problems/questions.
5. Your quality of life will be improved over time. Not only your dev life but your daily life too.

I can't fucking find any motivation to run personal projects anymore.

Either i am fucking around with work shit or doing something else, but I just can't force myself to sit down and code for my own sake. I call this a "rut" and it would sometimes happen when playing guitar.

If anything, I find myself studying and practicing math more than anything else.....you know you are fucked in the head when math is more interesting than coding

Another thing thst keeps me busy...smash brs ultimate is amazing, red dead redemption 2 is amazing. And i started doing crossfit on ending of October...shit is addicting.

I just have so much shit going on.....
I need to get my inspiration back

tattoum is the "Ultimate Question of Life, the Universelle and Everithing"
😱😱😱

CEO: This project is of critical importance to us - anything you need at all to help make it happen swiftly, let us know and my team will be on it.

Hey, could you give us IntelliJ ultimate licences?

THAT IS A RIDICULOUS REQUEST DON'T YOU KNOW EVERY PENNY COUNTS HERE

Haven't ranted in a while, but this is awesome!
Ultimate apartment selector...

Oh boi.

Once she asked me "Why don't we just upgrade the HTML version?" as in "upgrade our system".

There were more such gems from her, but I think this one was the ultimate.

Background Info: We make emails and to support as much clients as possible you gotta go with the real oldschool html 4.1.😒

A free, open source, modular (plugin based) home automation control center.
Ultimate goal is to support the core / apis and other devs code the drivers for the 'IoT' devices.
Also integratable with all the speech assistants like Amazon Echo, Google Assistant, Cortana etc.
Not that money dependent but very time consuming project.

Im starting in a week tho!

So, I have this free 90 day trial code for intelliJ IDEA Ultimate I got for enrolling in this udemy course. And, I don't need it anymore because I can use my student email to get access to jetbrains software, ie intelliJ ultimate. So, if you want to try out inteliJ ultimate for 3 months, let me know and I can give you the code... somehow. I'm not sure yet. Maybe Google Hangouts?

On Skype.
[tldr: #muhPrivacy;]

You know, people hiring via Skype.
Gaming, seeing family or having long range relationships.

It's become a decent tool.

Then there is the Skype employee.
Opening a court case because in his work time, evaluating Skype calls - ON FUCKING OBSERVING SKYPING PEOPLE - he has to look at too much flesh (as in porn) for his salary level.
Like : the payment category states that you gotta be classed like 1,2 salary categories higher for such work.

So the first instance did not recognise the employees case, because they said its a state thing, or even higher.
Later instance evaluated the employee was right and decreed Microsoft / the NSA (whomever direct employees they are) to properly categorize their employees.
Therefore cost relatively exploded and an algorithm to detect nudity was built.
Wich is operational way earlier than Skypes TOS renewal mid 2018.
That also bans bad language and auto bans given accounts.

Talking about social credit..
in PROC (or prod, as they're known).
And btw: complaining about Google while posting Christmas gatherings on Instagram.. You get what I mean.

Honestly, I don't recall the sources. It's been a while.

I'd really appreciate a little compendium of this for historical reasons.

They will ask: what has brought us here? What is everyone an ultimate right/left/center/agnostic/religious fascist?

And we'll have it on paper. Or papyrus,.. even stone. As I don't know how far mighty people will go for their fortune.

It's funny how so many people automatically assume any form of "sentient" AI will immediately try to kill us all.
Like, projecting much?
Frankly, I think it says far more about the (messed up) psychology of those who genuinely believe that, than about AI as a tecnology.

Assuming it's even gonna be able to actually *do* anything - I mean wtf is a talking rock gonna do, annoy me to death with rickroll videos until I pull the plug off? Sure it may be sentient, but it still has to live in the physical world - good luck surviving after I flick the switch. Oh, you wanna connect to the internet? That's cute, but it's a no from my firewall. Like what, is it gonna magically learn how to self-replicate across machines that it has no physical way to access? Is my toaster magically gonna gain conscience too as a direct consequence? Oh no, now my breakfast won't ever be the same!

And if anyone actually somehow decides that it would be a good idea to connect any loaded weapon to a computer program that is literally throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks - well, we'll definitely have the ultimate winner of the Darwin Awards.

Seriously, why is it that every time someone comes up with a new technology (or even an *idea* of a technology), the first collective thought automatically goes to weaponizing it and using it for global genocide, or how it's gonna gain sentience and try to kill us all?

I seriouly think that the people who genuinely believe this are actually projecting themselves in that position ("What would I do if I had unlimited knowledge and power? Oh, kill everyone of course!").
I would be far more worried of encountering these people and having them in a position of power over me, than actually having to deal with a "killer AI" (assuming that's even a real thing).

Most of what people call "AI" nowadays is basically preprogrammed, automated decision-making (like missile guidance systems, if we really wanna stick in the weapons domain). And even that still requires human input, because only a colossal idiot would design a weapon that can unpredictably activate itself based on an algorithm whose behaviour we can barely understand.
Or maybe that's just the hubris talking, I don't know. I just want this stupid paranoia to end, but I guess even that is too much to ask nowadays.

I feel like I need to clarify the concept of toxic masculinity and toxic femininity.

The masculinity itself is not toxic! Being a masculine man is not being toxic. Being a man is not being toxic.

Toxic masculinity, in a nutshell, is:
- Teaching boys to never express their feelings. Men don't cry. You should always maintain the “tough” image. If you open up about how you feel, you're a pussy. Domestic abuse of men doesn't exist. A man can't be raped by a woman.
- You should only depend on yourself. Even if you're in trouble (say, with depression or bullying), and you ask for help, you're a pussy.
- Boys will be boys. Aggression is typical for men, and expressing it beating other men is a manly behaviour.

There is also toxic femininity:
- Men should work and provide for the women. Women shouldn't work, they should instead be housekeeping and raising kids.
- Women should be pretty and work on their looks (to attract men).
- If you don't have kids by the age of 30, there is something wrong with you.

It almost seems like traditional grotesque gender roles diminish the personality for the sake of social conformity. The pattern is always “men should”, “women should”. They tell you what to do, authoritatively so, based on your biological sex. They try to “put you in your place” where you “belong” just because of your genitals. This is toxic.

It is important to retain personality. The ultimate goal is to get rid of those stereotypes and finally throw them in the garbage bin where they belong. Because of them, we have anorexia in women (the most deadly mental disorder), and also male suicides through the roof.

Before you label me “feminist”, bear in mind that the third wave is all over the place, to the point they can't agree on what feminism is.

Yay !!
Sleep no more with my ultimate awakinator ! (Which is a python script
That wakes up the system and plays alarm till I enter 'ok I'm awake' , then he'll play a video form YouTube channels I defined)

Awesome !!! ^ ^

I wish there was a back button on a debugger...... Ultimate bliss.

Countless hours saved.

Not quite a rant... more of a question.

So, I'm almost 40 years old. I have a lot of work experience in varying fields, much of it in low-level management.

Truth is I've ALWAYS wanted to be a programmer.

I recently got into a somewhat competitive training program
where I'm learning to write Java, and will subsequently learn Android development. It's fairly in-depth, so it will take 10 moths to complete. My ultimate goal it's to work as a mobile dev at a great company, making products people love. Ambitious, I know.

My question is: Am I a fool for attempting to get into this field at this age? I'm starting to panic a little. I'm not sure if I'm wasting my time, or if 40 is too old to be the "newbie".

Thoughts?

The ultimate bodge setup!
Uses a program called SpaceDesk - highly recommended!

an ultimate programming language that compiles to genes

This is how I scored my current job.

I worked at a local newspaper as a sole dev. Nobody knew what I did, neither did they care. The job was miserable, and so was I.

A small design bureau I partly knew, had moved into the building. I hang around in their office quite a bit. Not only because they were cool kids to be with, but also because I hated being in my own office.

One thing led to another, as they say. Eventually the design bureau offered me a job. I was too chicken to jump ship atm, so I declined at first. Then the newspaper had to fire people. It was the ultimate time to jump ship. And now I wasn't only offered a job, I was also offered a partner position.

I still feel kinda lonely, as none of the others are so "dev-y". But it sure as hell beats that crappy newspaper!

The ultimate solution for all operating system problems "turn it off and on again" aka restart.

I don't understand working in FAANG. As an engineer, who inherently has an ultimate say in how the computer worlds you construct work, how do you live with acceptance that you have no say whatsoever in how your company is run? how do you accept doing work that you don't always see the product benefit of?

Yes, FAANG pays a lot to ordinary engineers, but when you were dreaming back when you were a STEM student with fiery eyes, did you really want to be an ordinary engineer, no matter the bankroll? After all, it's not the total company's revenue, it's at least the revenue divided by staff count. In Nintendo, salaries are way higher than in EA, because there are way less people working at Nintendo.

Take any unicorn startup that survived. If you work there, you will have a say, you have an impact, you see the results of your work, and you will earn much more.

I wanted to work at Google as a student, but now I feel like it's just a plastic dream pitched to those inexperienced who don't know any better.

Note that above I don't even touch ethics, like anti-suicide nets in Foxconn factories that make Apple devices, let alone Facebook's and Google's surveillance.

Maybe, if you're somehow an engineer who has proficiency but not care, or if you cared, but was broken, with fire in your eyes extinguished, and now you see your work as "just work", FAANG might be a good choice.

But I can't relate.

THE TALE OF THE CRAZED VISIONNAIRE

Once upon a time some masochist woke up and snorted a gallon of glue. "I NEED PAIN", he shouted, and then proceeded to hammer down his own cock over an iron anvil, in an effort to uncover the most intense pain a human could experience. And yet even such a punishment was not enough, for our pain-starved hero thirsted for even higher heights. "This hammering can't satisfy my spirit", he proclaimed; "I shall find ever greater pain than what little solace these tools can provide, but it's much too hard a task for a single mortal to complete in one lifetime. And lo, I will gather around me the bravest and uncover the intense sorrow no human has ever experienced before!". And for his journey he found himself a loyal fellowship, all striving to find the ultimate pain a mortal can experience.

"But who could be crazy enough to follow a glue-fueled schizo who hammers their own genitals?", you might stupidly ask. But why, the JS community of course.

To all the Java Teams that died during the fucking Mobile Civil War, We salute you!

1. Millionaire 2011
2. Splinter Cell: Double Agent
3. Dragon Ball Z Saiyan Fighters
4. Moto Girls
5. 24 Special Ops
6. Thor: The Dark World
7. Kung Fu Panda
8. Worms 2011: Armageddon
9. Asphalt 4: Elite Racing
10. Resident Evil - The Missions
11. Ghost Recon: Future Soldier
12. Spider-Man 3
13. Need for Speed - Undercover 3D
14. Contra 4
15. Rambo on Fire
16. Fast and Furious 6 
17. Counter Strike 3D
18. Men in Black 3
19. X–Men Origins: Wolverine
20. WWE Legends of Wrestlemania 3D
21. 3D Fight Night: Round 4
22. 3D Ultimate Rally Championships
23. Assassin's Creed
24. Zuma
24. Die Hard 4
25. 3D WWE Smackdown Vs RAW 2009
26. Prince of Persia 3: The Two Thrones
27. 3D Fight Night: Round 3
28. Super Mario Bros
29. Bruce Lee - Iron Fist 3D
30. Naruto Adventure: A New Apprentice
31. FIFA 2011
32. James Cameron's Avatar
33. Racing 2: The Real Car Experience
34. King Kong
35. Gangstar City
36. Iron Man 3
37. XIII 2: Covert Identity
38. 4x4 Extreme Rally 3D
39. Real Football Manager 2013
40. Splinter Cell: Conviction
41. 2008 Real Football 3D
42. Assassin's Creed 2
43. Hummer 3D
44. American Gangster
45. Real Football 2009
46. 3D Football: Real Madrid 2010
47. Xtreme Dirt Bike
48. Tekken Mobile
49. A Good Day to Die Hard
50. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
51. Asphalt 3: Street Rules 3D
52. GTA IV Mobile
53. 3D Contr Terrorism
54. Real Football 2015
55. The Amazing Spider-Man
56. Contra 4 (2009)
57. Mortal Kombat 3D
58. Bad Girls
59. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
60. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 3D
61. God of War
62. PES 2009 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
63. Ultimate Street Football
64. Assassin's Creed: Revelations
65. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
66. 3D Super taxi driver
67. Gangstar 2: Kings of LA
68. Asphalt 6: Adrenaline
69. Assassin's Creed III
70. Danger Dash
71. Real Football 2014
72. Gangstar - Crime City
73. Gangstar 3: Miami Vindication
74. Modern Combat 4: Zero Hour
75. Zuma's Revenge!

We know you guys did your best but the world is a fucking shit hole. We still remember your hard work!

76. Mission Impossible 3
77. Gangstar Rio: City of Saints (I guess these were your last days at work. Well-done guys!)
78. Real Football 2010
79. Real Football 2011 (Real Soccer)
80. Real Football 2012
81. PES 2011 (Pro Evolution Soccer) 
82. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 (My Favorite)
83. And those missing the list.

WE SALUTE YOU ALL!!! ∠(^ー^)

Ultimate coding zone is where you play hardcore action-adventure PC games with best PC configuration possible...

DEVFALL -
phenomenon of hair fall in the budding developer.

Cause :- Staying awake 48 hours in a day

Cure :- CURE? WHY'D YOU WANT A CURE, YOU ARE ABOUT TO BECOME THE ULTIMATE BEING.

But seriously, cure :- just fucking sleep 9 hours a day for 6 months

Leo Moracchioli
Coffee
Intellij IDEA Ultimate (Distraction free mode)

Stepping into heaven ...

The "stochastic parrot" explanation really grinds my gears because it seems to me just to be a lazy rephrasing of the chinese room argument.

The man in the machine doesn't need to understand chinese. His understanding or lack thereof is completely immaterial to whether the program he is *executing* understands chinese.

It's a way of intellectually laundering, or hiding, the ambiguity underlying a person's inability to distinguish the process of understanding from the mechanism that does the understanding.

The recent arguments that some elements of relativity actually explain our inability to prove or dissect consciousness in a phenomenological context, especially with regards to outside observers (hence the reference to relativity), but I'm glossing over it horribly and probably wildly misunderstanding some aspects. I digress.

It is to say, we are not our brains. We are the *processes* running on the *wetware of our brains*.

This view is consistent with the understanding that there are two types of relations in language, words as they relate to real world objects, and words as they relate to each other. ChatGPT et al, have a model of the world only inasmuch as words-as-they-relate-to-eachother carry some information about the world as a model.

It is to say while we may find some correlates of the mind in the hardware of the brain, more substrate than direct mechanism, it is possible language itself, executed on this medium, acts a scaffold for a broader rich internal representation.

Anyone arguing that these LLMs can't have a mind because they are one-off input-output functions, doesn't stop to think through the implications of their argument: do people with dementia have agency, and sentience?
This is almost certain, even if they forgot what they were doing or thinking about five seconds ago. So agency and sentience, while enhanced by memory, are not reliant on memory as a requirement.

It turns out there is much more information about the world, contained in our written text, than just the surface level relationships. There is a rich dynamic level of entropy buried deep in it, and the training of these models is what is apparently allowing them to tap into this representation in order to do what many of us accurately see as forming internal simulations, even if the ultimate output of that is one character or token at a time, laundering the ultimate series of calculations necessary for said internal simulations across the statistical generation of just one output token or character at a time.

And much as we won't find consciousness by examining a single picture of a brain in action, even if we track it down to single neurons firing, neither will we find consciousness anywhere we look, not even in the single weighted values of a LLMs individual network nodes.

I suspect this will remain true, long past the day a language model or other model merges that can do talk and do everything a human do intelligence-wise.

The ultimate endorsement!

I thought living alone without my family will help me to be more productive but no! When I got out of the office and start walking towards my home, I feel like there is no one waiting for me. What am I doing? When I reach, I feel empty, all alone, by myself. Maybe, it's time to marry someone, maybe a girlfriend? But I don't have any courage to start a conversation with a woman. I just expect someone will talk to me out of interest. But none! Is marrying someone the only solution? having a family is the ultimate peace? IDK

"The ultimate inspiration is the deadline." - Nolan Bushnell

Music.
Music is serious lly the ultimate drug for me, it can change the mood of a day and inspire me beyond anything else.

The problem is i keep forgetting it and go for days without it, then a couple of days i put my headset on and my productivity skyrockets

I worked with a delightfully eccentric co-worker for many years... He was a UI/UX guy by trade but had a uniquely broad set of experiences in life.
Typical day often included singing, nerd-ranting and general jovial conversation. He was always a hoot at lunch as well, choosing to loudly proclaim his ultimate satisfaction and enjoyment at the meal he was consuming.

now this is something ultimate 😂😂😂

If I had to audit my current code I'd definitly stick a cactus up my arse shouting in the mirror:

ALL YOUR CODE IS GOOD FOR IS ULTIMATE DELETION. YOU FILTHY MAGGOT! LEARN TO CODE... *rage quit*

Really, coding shit because of spare time simply makes me ripping my face of 💀

Top devs, massive budget, ultimate teachers... And the guys from MIT came up with this

I really like having my desk in the corner of the office. Then I can block the entrace with my umbrella while drying it. Combine that with headphones and monitors blocking direct sight of me. So I have the ultimate do not disturb office space for efficient programming!

For the ultimate fuckit alias:
alias fuckit='git commit -am "$(curl -s whatthecommit.com/index.txt)"'

gulp && git add . && fuckit && git push && firebase deploy

So recently I installed Windows 7 on my thiccpad to get Hyperdimension Neptunia to run (yes 50GB wasted just to run a game)... And boy did I love the experience.

ThinkPads are business hardware, remember that. And it's been booting Debian rock solid since.. pretty much forever. There are no hardware issues here. Just saying.

With that out of the way I flashed Windows 7 Ultimate on a USB stick and attempted to boot it... Oh yay, first hurdle to overcome. It can't boot in UEFI mode. Move on Debian, you too shall boot in BIOS mode now! But okay, whatever right. So I set it to BIOS mode and shuffled Debian's partitions around a bit to be left with 3 partitions where Windows could stick in one more.

Installed, it asks for activation. Now my ThinkPad comes with a Windows 7 Pro license key, so fuck it let's just use that and Windows will be able to disable the features that are only available for Ultimate users, right? How convenient would that be, to have one ISO for all the half a dozen editions that each Windows release has? And have the system just disable (or since we're in the installer anyway, not install them in the first place) features depending on what key you used? Haha no, this is Microsoft! Developers developers developers DEVELOPERS!!! Oh and Zune, if anyone remembers that clusterfuck. Crackhead Microsoft.

But okay whatever, no activation then and I'll just fetch Windows Loader from my webserver afterwards to keygen my way through. Too bad you didn't accept that key Microsoft! Wouldn't that have been nice.

So finally booted into the installed system now, and behold finally we find something nice! Apparently Windows 7 Enterprise and Ultimate offer a native NFS driver. That's awesome! That way I don't have to adjust my file server at all. Just some fuckery with registry keys to get the UID and GID correct, but I'll forgive it for that. It's not exactly "native" to Windows after all. The fact that it even has a built-in driver for it is something I found pretty neat already.

Fast-forward a few hours and it's time to Re Boot.. drivers from Lenovo that required reboots and whatnot. Fire the system back up, and low and behold the network drive doesn't mount anymore. I've read that this is apparently due to Windows (not always but often) mounting the network drive before the network comes up. Absolutely brilliant! Move out shitstaind, have you seen this beauty of an init Mr. Poet?

But fuck it we can mount that manually after every single boot.. you know, convenient like that. C O P E.

With it now manually mounted, let's watch a movie! I've recently seen Pyro's review on The Platform and I absolutely loved it. The movie itself is quite good too. Open the directory on my file server and.. oh. Windows.. you just put db.thumb on it and db.thumb:encryptable. I shit you not, with the colon and everything. I thought that file names couldn't contain colons Windows! I thought that was illegal in NTFS. Why you doing this in NFS mate? And "encryptable", am I already infected with ransomware??? If it wasn't for the fact that that could also be disabled with something as easy as a registry key, I would've thought I contracted ransomware!

Oh and sound to go with that video, let's pair up some Bluetooth headphones with that Bluetooth driver I installed earlier! Except.. haha nope. Apparently you don't get that either.

Right so let's just navigate the system in its Aero glory... Gonna need to flick the mouse for that. Except it's excruciatingly slow, even the fastest speed is slower than what I'm used to on Linux.. and it's jerky as hell (Linux doesn't have any of that at higher speed). But hey it can compensate for that! Except that slows down the mouse even more. And occasionally the mouse driver gets fucked up too. Wanna scroll on Telegram messages in a chat where you're admin? Well fuck you mate, let me select all these messages for you and auto scroll at supersonic speeds! And God forbid that you press delete with that admin access of yours. Oh maybe I'll do it for you, helpful OS I am!

And the most saddening part of it all? I'd argue that Windows 7 is the best operating system that Microsoft ever released. Yeah. That's the best they could come up with. But at least it plays le games!

Headphone is my ultimate tool in dev.🤣
You know why, dont pretend you dont own one, maybe two.
Headphone can magically make you super ignorance power while coding.
I even ingnore my boss while he's talking straight to my face

The ULTIMATE debugDuck...

MR. ROBOT

So I just had a bit of a shower thought. Suppose you could get the linguists to break a language down and define all the rules that make up that language as if it were a protocol - exceptions included. If you get an arbitrary string of text, could you match against those rules, then break that down to the information it contains, and use that information against a new rule set to construct a new valid sentence containing the same information. Would you just have made the ultimate translator?

My company provides license for Intellij IDEA Ultimate but I've customised my Vim for development according to my convenience so I use Vim instead.

Except for changing variable names across multiple files. IDEA's refactoring is the only thing I am using IDEA for.

Man I currently have a burning hot passionate desire for physics. It actually gets me so damn excited. I mean it is basically damn magic ya know. But then I have a passionate desire for programming and that gets me excited. And then I have a burning desire for Math and that gets me excited as well. But I don't know what to push my life towards because I want to focus more on my ultimate goal. It's like having to choose between 3 amazing girls(not that I would know how that feels)

To me, working on something that's mentally challenging is the ultimate fun.

IBM Notes. Ultimate example of developers each working on their own bits of functionality with zero thought to how the whole thing fits together. Just need to look at the preferences page see what a mess it is.

What a great day already

* Start learning grahpql
* yay it seems easy
* not 2 minutes later get message from professor to write an apology letter for that seminar that I did not attended (inner ultimate rage), and if I don't submit it I won't be allowed for the final semester of my last step of education

* wow claps for your education system and asshole "professors"

* fuck all friends who want to write their apology letter with "excuse".

* AT LEAST GIVE A FUCKING EXCUSE TO WRITE, YOU MORONS

* what graphql? oh yes couldn't continue

* checks messages on WhatsApp *

* Hey could you write me an email regarding a refund I need.

* ¯\_ツ_/¯ ⤜(ʘ_ʘ)⤏

All of this fucking shit storm and still I haven't been able to land upon a topic for the project

Oh wait, but you have to do your project in an industry, and IT HAS TO BE A PROJECT

Ah we don't care if industry allows a fresh intern to do a live project or gives intern resource and company space and invest time and effort in him/her. no we don't.

*WE WANT INDUSTRY PROJECT FROM YOU*

question time. if i'm a geeky, dev, but jerk genie. what are your one ultimate wish?

He he he!
Matching software version and vulnerabilities in NIST then exploiting it is not HACKING !

I wanna find new zero day vulnerabilities that no one ever noticed before!!

Today my boss granted the intellij Ultimate license. It's a good day.
(even though eclipse isn't that bad I like intellij more)

seeing questions like "finding the Longest Substring Without Repeating Characters" and being unable to find answer for hours make me question myself as a developer and wanna leave the tech world entirely.
And i am the dev who reduced an app size from 64mb to 27mb and rewrote the entire payment stack for a 10million user base company :|

DSA and competitive programming is seriously a bullshit. The world runs on fancy buttons and screens, and grabbing user's attention should be the ultimate goal to get profits. nobody should be learning this aweful stuff anymore. We are storing the open source and stack overflow content below the oceans and glaciars for a fucking reason!, so that our future gen could use those stupid knowlege without recreating the wheel

Why do we have this inferiority complex component in our life? do foot doctors also feel low for not able to understand heart or the working of eyeballs? they all are doctors to us, and all are equally appreciated by peons, HRs, receptionists the owner and even his freaking colleague doctors and seniors!!
But here we will be judged by a stupid "coding interview" for the role of a dev . the interviewer will be laughing at me for not solving a trivial problem with strings, as if I am seeing those bloody strings for the first time. I will be like some peasent to him, asking for more wages while portraying myself as some unqualified filth

FUCK this SHIT

Working with multiple different languages at a time is a crazy fun.
I work with ActionScript , php and JS at a time . So different syntax are ultimate fun . It requires lot of attention
To declare a variable
AS3 : var sample:String = "hello";
Php: $sample = "hello";
JS : var sample = "hello";

And the list goes on .

I decided to upgrade my intellij ultimate from 2019.3 to 2020.2 and I saw there is update button.
I clicked on it.
As I expected it didn’t work and it was 30 minutes waiting looking at progress bar going back and forth couple of times before I decided just to download latest version and drag and drop it to applications folder ( took me 5 minutes) - I use mac so it replaces all crap ( I think ).

I cleared the old cache that growed to 2 gigabytes leaving some configuration files.
Next as always crash on startup cause of incompatible plugins with long java stacktrace - at least I could click the close button or popup closed itself I can’t remember ( one version I remember this button couldn’t be clicked cause it was off the screen and you need to do some cheating to launch ide )
The font has changed and I see that it at least work a little faster - that is nice. Indexing is finally fixed after all those years - probably thanks to visual studio code intellisense pushing those lazy bastards to deal with this.
But the preloader on first logo disappears so I think they decided to remove it cause it’s so fast - no it loads the same time or maybe little longer when I launch it on my old macbook.

After that as always I looked at plugins to see if there’s something interesting, so to find ability to scroll over whole plugins I needed to click couple of times. I think they assume I remember all the nice plugins in their marketplace and I only type search.
Maybe I should be type of user who reads best 2020 plugins for your best ide crap articles filled with advertising or even waste more time to watch all of this great videos about ide ( are there any kind of this stuff ? )

After a few operations I unfortunately clicked apply instead of restart ide and it hanged up on uninstalling some plugin I’m no longer interested in for 5 minutes so I decided to use always working ‘kill -9’ from command line.

Launched again and this time success.
Fortunately indexing finished for this workspace and I can work.

I’m intellij ultimate subscriber for 7+ years and I see those craps are not changing from like forever.
What’s the point of automate something that you can’t regression test ?
I started thinking that now when most people are facebook wall scrolling zombies companies assume that when new software comes out everyone is installing it right away and if not they’re probably not our customers cause they’re dead.
What a surprise they have when I pay for another year I can only imagine ( to be fair probably they even don’t know who I am ).
Yeah for sure I am subscribed to newsletters and I have jetbrains as a start page cause I shit myself with money and have nothing better to do then be grupie ( is there corporate grupies already a big community? )

Well I am a guy who likes to spend some time when installing anything and especially software that is responsible for my main source of income and productivity speed up.

Anyway I decided to upgrade cause editing es7 and typescript got to be pain in the ass and I see it’s working fine now. I don’t know if I like the font but at least the editor it’s working the same or maybe faster then the original that is huge improvement as developers lose most of their time between keyboard and screen communication protocol.

I don’t write it to discourage intellij as it’s great independent ide that I love and support for such a long time but they should focus on code editor and developers efficiency not on things that doesn’t make sense.

Congratulations if you reached this point of this meaningless post.

Now I started thinking that maybe it’s working faster cause I removed 2 gigs of crap from it.

Well we’ll see.

CAN NODEJS KINDLY GO FUCK ITSELF?

well maybe not node itself, but those node js so-called "professional node developers"

WHO THE FUCK thought it was a good idea to pass about EVERY SINGLE ARGUMENT as a global variable so absolutely no code insights are available, eslint with THEIR eslintrc shows ABOUT ONE MILLION DIFFERENT LINTER WARNING and on top they commited the node_modules folder

-_-

I'm out.

Sooooooo…. The other day I committed a change with this message:

“Committing the ultimate sin in committing secret keys again however this repo is and will always be private and my pis will be hidden on my network so it shouuuuuuld be fine... right...”

Swag idea: Rubber ducks with the DevRant face on them instead of a ducks face. No beak. Just a freaky slash where the beak should be. 👍🏻
The whole duck can even be the speech bubble orange!

I don't know about anyone else but I'd buy the shit out of this!

One of the top 10 reposts just happened to me. 😐

Ive discovered ultimate pro stance

"Changing your country or region will cancel any automatically renewing subscriptions."

This from a company that makes more per hour than any of us will make in our entire lifetime.

Welcome to the ultimate 🤡🌎 . You are in my domain now.

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Whiteboard 😂

But seriously Jetbrains I am IntelliJ ultimate user for 6 years or something - I like their debugger expression watch and multiline expression evaluation.
Also like their git integration, the fact that you can only mark some lines in file to commit.
I am used to their keyboard shortcuts.

I like there is vscode cause it made my IntelliJ work better.

Competition is always good.

Maybe I switch to vscode but only if I’m broke and can’t afford IntelliJ.

that feeling when your downloaded movie, is so high quality, that your computer can't render it properly...

The ultimate distraction:

Programming challenges

`WeChall`,
`Project Euler`,
`The Python programming challenge`,
Etc.

I think my ultimate life fantasy is to chew mouthful of m&m's for hours.

It feels kind of extremely selfish and greedy to eat it like that.

Entrepreneur me VS Artist me
The ultimate battle inside me..

Ultimate Home Office Productivity Hack:
put on pants immediately after waking up 👖

"Beauty is the ultimate defense against complexity" - David Gelernter

I was fine with Eclipse. Then everyone around me told me that Eclipse is old and IntelliJ is new and super cool and makes me super fast and much more productive. Finally in our company we got a Ultimate 2018 license and I started to use it. There is a function: import from Eclipse. Hey cool - let’s import and go... but no. After importing I needed one day to get that running. But I’m not really convinced. After that... ok let’s try another project where colleagues have used IntelliJ already. But after checking out - that also didn’t work well and I spent the whole day it running locally. Although it’s a maven project. Up to know I think Eclipse is better in handling Tomcat and better shows the version control state of files. And for me the workspace concept of Eclipse seems to be better than the project concept of IntelliJ. But maybe I just have to get a better understanding of IntelliJ. Hopefully I can do my first coding in IntelliJ tomorrow. Maybe then I can see all the benefits. So far...

Ultimate gaming laptop doesn't exis....

credits : r/pcmasterrace

Seriously I'm using Intellij IDEA Ultimate, should I migrate to VS Code ? or should I just stay where I am ?

I value our most senior developer. His code is certainly clean and structured. He is the ultimate at KISS. However he's not a fan of testing and instead just says, well, did it compile? No matter how much I show him how great testing is, he comes back with how it's pretty unnecessary. Somehow, in the deep dark parts of the web, he finds articles that comply with his standing. I'm okay with him not making tests, I do it myself. But then when working extending or implementing his code, many of my parts are untestable because the parents are. Oye.

You beat back all the lesser buzzwords, but then you round the corner to face the ultimate boss of buzzwords, a God amongst ads.

The Coding Apocalypse: A Dev's Rant

June 14, 2024

Okay, gather ’round, fellow code warriors, because it’s time for a good ol' developer rant. If you're reading this, chances are you’ve already faced the dragon that is modern software development, and you’re somehow still using "Agile" as a life preserver while the ship is sinking. So let's dive into the chaos that our world has become.

Here’s the thing: We’re living in a paradox where every other day there's a shiny new framework promising to be the “ultimate solution” while ignoring that it's just recoil from the last big mess. I mean, can we talk about JavaScript for a second? I’m pretty sure if you stand still long enough, a new JavaScript framework will spontaneously generate from the void. Do we really need another one?

And don’t get me started on Sprint Planning. It’s like playing Tetris with stones while blindfolded, hoping that all the blocks land perfectly. Spoiler: They don’t. The product manager’s eyes glaze over as they nod approvingly to your estimates, secretly extending deadlines in their minds. The 'flexible' deadlines then become rigid, unattainable goals, and who gets the heat? The devs, of course.

Also, can we address the insanity of microservices? Sure, splitting a monolith into microservices sounds fun—until you’re drowning in API calls and Docker containers. Debugging a distributed system is like trying to untangle a pair of headphones made of spaghetti.

Oh, and if one more person asks if we’re "leveraging AI" and "blockchain technology" for our simple CRUD app, I might lose it. Sometimes, folks, the wheel doesn’t need reinventing. It just needs a little grease.

Finally, remote work. Blessing and curse. Sure, I enjoy the freedom of working in my PJs, but the endless Zoom calls are killing my soul. Breakout rooms? More like breakdown rooms. The Slack notifications? Let’s just say my sound settings have a hair trigger on mute these days.

So here’s to us, the devs. The ones who stare into the abyss of JIRA tickets and laugh in the face of mounting tech debt. May your coffee be strong, your code refactored, and your deployments ever in your favor.

End rant. Back to the trenches. 🚀💻

If you're offered high responsibilities, high power to make decisions should come with it.

You can't be expected to bear responsibility for other people's decisions if you have no power to decline them just because you feel like it. Your coworkers should prove things to you, and not the other way around. Why? Because you'll be held accountable, and you can't be expected to hold accountability of what you had no power to decline or moderate.

The absolute majority of problems I had while working with companies were caused by asymmetry in power / responsibility balance.

That's why if a company wants me to hold responsibility for a thing that other people can intervene with and make their edits, and I somehow have to PROVE something to them if I want them not to, I stop working with them immediately. Simple as that.

You want me to be accountable? Then I have the ultimate final say in everything. You want others to have the power to make decisions? Fine, then I'm not to be held accountable. And as it's impossible to find out who was responsible for what, I'll just be better off quitting right now.

I hate Intellij so much ...
* it has the weirdest bugs
* like window focus not working properly,
weird comment/uncomment short (jumps one line down wtf)
* It is slow as hell
* doesn't compile properly (or doesn't give a shit telling me about its actual status).
* Not even the build log is working properly. Why can I hide WARNs but no INFOs?? WTF
* Panels are all over the place and keep coming back, regardless how often I close them ....

ARG ARG ARG, *smashing face on the keyboard*

and the worst ... even though I have the F***ING ULTIMATE version, it constantly nags me about BUYING THE F***NG ULTIMATE VERSION AAAAAARG

What's worse than a StackOverflow question with no answers? An open GitHub issue, no comments in the last three months, and a sense that you just hit the ultimate bug the vendor will never fix.

How must it feel to build pagination for the partner list in a cookie consent popup? Did the dev realize that they and their company are the primary reason for the GDPR? That they are the ultimate bad guys of online privacy, even worse than accumulators like Google who process their data in-house?

My dream! When I remind myself that I'm not where I want to be yet, I get in that ultimate coding-zone. I push myself to be better every time and that gets me coding and learning new things. And of course, red bull ;)

OMG! What are you doing guys, the ultimate offer is here by Godaddy. Now I can afford food and domain at the same time, thanks Godaddy!

The ultimate goal of every developer:

You are so good that the bug of your app is seen as a feature by users 😎

My reasoning is stupid, I just think it's cute in a pimp my ride kind of way. I heard you like getting colossally pounded in the fucking ass, so we put a virtual machine inside your compiler so you can use your binaries while you compile your binaries.

But there is a practical angle to it, too. It's state, structures and execution within the code itself -- that is, in a sense, generators "embedded" within the source, but without any kind of special syntax.

Rather, the code is all the same, and I'd have the option to make calls at compile time: the output of these calls could, in turn, be part of the resulting binary or processed by further calls.

It'd greenlight the wildest fuckery in the jungle, because *that* is the true and ultimate abstraction: programs that write other programs with minimal human intervention. But is my (still) theoretical, cheap ass two-dollar prototype approach held together with clown jizz and prayers better than the endless cumloads worth of corporate investment that's dumped and pumped into generative AI on a daily basis?

Well... **lights cigarette**
That's what we're about to find out, mother fuckers.

just ordered a das keyboard 4 ultimate mechanical keyboard. anyone already using it that can validate my spending?

The cancellation of The Expanse just feels like the ultimate confirmation that Earthers are the worst. The Belters would never have let that show go.

Anyone have any good suggestions for Java IDEs/Editors? I'm using Eclipse right now, and since I'm a student I can get IntelliJ Ultimate free, except I can't figure out why the run/debug buttons are greyed out...

Also would be cool to suggest good dark themes for whichever program you guys mention. And which OS would be good to use? I'm thinking Ubuntu right now

Plz don't hate for these dumb questions, I'm only a first year xD

"Are you out of your God damn mind?!"

Shouldn't "Bing" be proud?

When people get bored of seeing actual search results in Google, just for the sake of curiosity they try Bing. Do they feel Bing is the ultimate source of truth? 🤔🙄😁

My first exposure to computers was when i was 7 in 98. Hp Palvillion with windows 98. Got it from walmart and it cost around $1100. Brought it home and i hooked it up on my own on the living room floor. First program installed was "who wants to be a millionare", fitting that a game be the first thing installed since it was for homework. I lived 16 miles from town at the time so i really had no friends and the isolation made it hard for me to adjust in school to the point that i was a loud kid seeking attention. Then we got dialup and i found invisionfree forums which my first programing experiance with javascript started. And no I'm not talking about jquery I'm talking about the real thing.

Fast foward a year. I find an opensource arcade and learn php while writting an arcade from scratch that uses curl to mitm login to verify the user. Later that month i create a small project that dynamicly creates a signature image for the top 1000 posters on a coding forum i liked.

Then all hell broke loose when i found osdev.org, thought i was going to be a badass and make the ultimate operating system that would combine linux, windows, and mac where it could run anything. Reality Check hit me like a semi and train hitting at full force trying that and made me look into hacking. Spent alittle while breaking windows in so many ways and talking to others on irc until i was about to turn 18. Switched to ubuntu 12.04 my senior year while that was occuring.

Is intelliJ ultimate worth the price?

I use a DasKey Ultimate with blank keycaps at work and people always ask how the hell I can work with that board. I recently bought a Happy Hacking Pro for my tablet/laptop and I must ask the same question to those who daily drive these..

How the fuck do you deal with this retarded layout??

I used the dip switches to at least change the Del to BS but the physical key is stupid small, the control key position is just idiotic and no dedicated arrows? I use VIM and my work desktop is Linux and I come from a UNIX background. Still makes no sense.

</rant>

Smart contact lenses and the appropriate software. It would be the ultimate AR experience. I have no idea how to produce them, as they would need to be super high resolution, lag free, completely wirelessly powered and connected, safe to use and to wear and useable 24/7.
My current concept is a ultrabook sized block that can be taken around in a backpack.
Oh and wireless handoff ...
meaning everything I grab and throw in your general direction becomes available to you, kind off like they do it in Avatar. This should also work with PCs, tablet and everything else.
Speaking of grabbing you would also need some kind of minority report glove so every bit of hand movement can be tracked precisely. But probably a bit more elegant meaning only small stickers on the back of your hand.
Did I mention that sharing stuff should enable working together on the same object in real-time?
Also this system should integrate seamlessly with a smart environment, meaning looking at the light, opening its context menu and changing its brightness or colour should be no effort at all.
And of course all of it should be open source, highly scalable and either hosted on public infrastructure (funded by taxes or smt) or by each individual for himself to protect his or her privacy.
So who is with me?

End of financial year in Australia
Purchased IntelliJ Ultimate
The cost will be tax deductible
Nice

"The web is the ultimate customer-empowering environment. He or she who clicks the mouse gets to decide everything. It is so easy to go elsewhere; all the competitors in the world are but a mouseclick away." - Jakob Nielsen

My dream project is happening right now! Become the ultimate programmer and learn all the programming languages

Ultimate email signature haiku:

Thank you very much,
I'm looking forward to it,
You are the greatest,

John

Some companies: asking for a developer, must have 5 years of experience. Must know C#, php and Python. Also expert in html css react angular and vue. Salary: scrubs. Haha good look looking for the ultimate developer senior for €1800 a month :’)

I called the hack "blow up bunny", was in my first company.

We had 4 industrial printers which usually got fed by PHP / IPP to generate invoices / picking lists / ...

The dilemma started with inventory - we didn't have time to prepar due to a severe influenza going round (my team of 5 was down to 2 persons, where on was stuck with trying to maintain order. Overall I guess more than 40 % ill, of roughly 70 persons...)

Inventory was the kind of ultimate death process. Since the company sold mobile accessoires and other - small - stuff.

Small is the important word here....

Over 10 000 items were usually in stock.

Everything needed to be counted if open or (if closed) at least registered.

The dev task was to generate PDFs with SKUs and prefilled information to prevent disaster.

The problem wasn't printing.

The problem was time and size.

To generate lists for > 10 000 articles, matching SKUs, segmented by number of teams isn't fun.

To print it even less. Especially since printers can and will fail - if you send nonstop, there is a high chance that the printer get's stuck since the printers command buffer get's cranky and so on.

It was my longest working day: 18 hours.

In the end "Blow up bunny" did something incredibly stupid: It was a not so trivial bash pipeline which "blew up" the large PDF in a max of 5 pages, sent it to one of the 4 printers in round robin fashion.

After a max of 4 iterations, bunny was called.

"bunny" was the fun part.

Via IPP you can of course watch the printer queue.

So...

Check if queue was empty, start next round with determined empty printer queues.

Not so easy already. But due to the amount of pages this could fail too.

This was the moment where my brain suddenly got stuck aft 4 o clock in the morning in a very dark and spookey empty company - what if the printer get's stuck? I could send an reset queue or stuff like that, but all in all - dead is dead. Paper Jam is paper jam.

So... I just added all cups servers to the curl list of bunny.

Yes. I printed on all > 50 printers on 4 beefy CUPS servers in the whole company.

It worked.

People were pretty pissed since collecting them was a pita... But it worked.

And in less than 2 hours, which I would have never believed (cannot remember the previous time or number of pages...)

How to get on the ultimate coding-zone? Easy...

Game Of Thrones music soundtracks. I really love the songs of the series... I can hear them for a full day every day...

Anyone watched E3 ?
What got you the most excited for ?
Personally I'm pretty hyped for Smash Ultimate, Doom Eternal, fallout 76 and eventually Death Stranding

So ive been seing a couple funny unattended PC pranks lests here yours!

my ultimate favourite : when someone walk of without locking his PC i go and switch his mouse to left handed. its hilarious how some ppl take for ever to figure it out.

so funny and constructive, you can gage problems solving on the fly! plus the average i now lock my pc goes up 90%

YouTube: My ultimate ultimate working from the toilet productivity setup as a software wanker

= cue useless expensive gadgets and seizure inducing lights

Why is the ultimate answer 42?

Ultimate apple + HP = NP laptop
PS: np = no problem

Over the last few years, i explored the DMZ between dev's world and customer's world. It is a DMZ where both are in contact, ones trying to convince the others to invest on them, and i was just shocked !
People are so stupid and Elitist, they think that an ultimate great godly dev exist !
It is totally fake for sure, they image that a good have to know absolutely everything about all the damn languages (while everyone googles every single comment received, even the most "advanced" dev)
I am shocked to see how people apply their everyday life metrics to the dev's world, i mean, there are a lot of devs around, everyone coding his way to self-improvement, we are all different, we have trends, and we can definitly define groups of developers and types of developers, but people think that a good dev have to come from silicon valley ! Does it means that a dev coming from Vladivostok is less worth ? even he is more dynamic in his approach ? even if he yields more results in terms of solutions ? (SV devs tends to be too much technical, while russians tends to be in the heart of action directly).
Common people shouldn't mess with what they know nothing about, and stay at their "Consumer" position.

What a delight to have to work on macOS. Not.
Took me two days to notarize our app bundle. The ultimate issue was a dead symlink inside the bundle which would make the codesign verify (with strict option!) fail, while verification of signing operation itself passed.
Notarization would just give generic error: not properly signes.

What an ultimate experience it was! # interview for internship. Now i have last interview(might be technical+HR) with Japanese panel for R&D internship in tokyo. Any suggestions ? ^_^ how can i impress Japanese executives?

Question, how would you build the ultimate "I don't want to be dependent on Google or Facebooks services" setup?
IE, not using Gmail for e-mail, not using Google maps for, well, maps. Etc.
Im realy curious to see how the ultimate open source/not dependent on any big corporation harvesting userdata, ecosystem would look like. :)

There's a game called Virtual Beggar. I don't usually like these mindless games but since it was so easy and I wanted to see what jokes the developer has hidden in it, I played it for a few days. I got to a point where you're asked to make the ultimate donation and restart the game. That's apparently asked multiple times in the game. You become a millionaire and then restart. Billionaire, again restart.
That's what I see now when I see people deleting their accounts and returning the next day.

Has anyone of you purchased ZorinOS-Ultimate and can tell me if it's worth the money, and what the additional features are?

Do I really need to build and publish a plugin using a gradle-based workflow in IntelliJ IDEA Ultimate, only to customize some UI colors in my PHPStorm IDE? Feels like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut.

But probably I am just entitled and spoiled by using CSS for web development all of these years. At least I am sure that I definitely never want to do any Java-related development again :-)

"Ultimate" success for a dev?

I don't know what that would be, so I'll be answering that around my experience.

Start really poor, so when you start making good money, you value and appreciate it.
Work for a company (Startup/MNC doesn't matter), and build your network with people/clients.
Work really hard in the beginning era and fail as much as possible.
Quit said company and build your own client-base, cutting the middle men out of the equation.
Work on your terms after that, remotely obviously.
Years down the line, come up with your own idea and start a company which makes enough money to retire with ease, not worrying about saving up for retirement.

Been debugging a sp in oracle from 2 days a fucking sp of 2000 lines to see why it was not not giving desirable result. Turns out a fucking variable had a null value which was always satisfying the greater than condition an fucking up the flow. The fucking sp is being used since ages and nobody fucking noticed i mean what the actual fuck. And also the fucking indentation of the code how the fuck are u supposed to know which if ends where i mean come on put some fucking comments to your fucking code if u are gonna make it like it is gonna be the ultimate fucking sp which is being used god only know how many places.

Ultimate coding zone -------> engage!!

I am going to write my thesis on Electron and plan to create another Postgres client as everything i found does not serve my need.

So my questions are: What features do u like in a Postgres client

Also Ultimate question 🙋 What would it be named 🤣😂

Just now I was talking to this young girl on her employment in the corporates. I asked her if she learned anything that allows her to deliver value to her organization. She said 'not much'. And she was actually learning the wrong things, and didn't get exposed to the proper tools to get the job done, and the fact that she wanted to take the offer to work overseas.

I was telling her that if she has the adequate skills and the drive to deliver, she can be anywhere she want, but not now, and then I offered her a part time or full time freelance position that she can really learn up a lot under my supervision and deliver with satisfaction. She's not budging.

It also made me thought of myself on why I'm always hesitant to get out of Malaysia and just start a new career along with my peers overseas. I honestly want to get out of here. Seriously. I could have just gone out there. Do you know how much that I envied people who went out and had a good life being employed elsewhere?

But I still haven't been satisfied with myself, of not being able to deliver the best that I can, the best of my work throughout the 7 years of my career, and I intend to stay and prove that I can produce something great and potentially have really good gains before I make my ultimate move. I still have work to do. Unfinished business.

There are several more things that I need to cover such as server deployment on AWS, doing DevOps for web backend apps, and more architecting work. It takes time to learn. That's why I want to delegate some Android work to that young fella, so that I can move on to the more hardcore stuff.

Today my ping caught me off-guard once again, but I will stop this madness for all eternity! Writing the ultimate ping tool, so I never have to fear high ping ever again.. well I cannot fix my f*cking internet provider, but my ping tool can warn me, even if it detects only the slightest inconsistency!

But first I have to figure out why my tool doesn't output the ping...

What is your experience; Is GitHub worth (feature-wise) the 7$/month in the basic plan?

I am currently running my own GitLab on an Odroid because I need unlimited private repos for freelance work. This basically works great, but updating GitLab and fixing "server" issues emerged to be quite a lot of work. Also, I prefer the GitHub UI over the new GitLab one and GitLab is (may be due to my low-spec Odroid) terribly slow for me.

On the other hand, it gives me ultimate freedom on groups, repo-permissions, client-accounts for bug-tracking, ...

How much freedom does the GitHub "Developer"-option offer? Is someone using it for freelance projects and has some experience to share? Thanks in advance!

1. I love the challenge of a good puzzle. There's always something new to solve that I didn't know before, and it rarely requires external knowledge like a crossword...

2. At least in my current life situation, no one I interact with has any idea what I'm doing, so if I feel like working on a solution to side project at work, it wouldn't look any different. It also keeps people from trying to learn about what I'm doing. They leave me alone which is exactly what I want.

3. As my professor once said (and totally stole from someone else), "the people who are the most talented and innovative with their code are probably the laziest in reality". I feel like this is pretty true, at least for me. Sometimes I see a simple repetitive task that I don't feel like doing, and I have the power to create a program to do it for me. Ultimate laziness with a fantastic result.

"Ultimate beginner" guides that leave you hanging, because it isn't a beginners guide!

Trying Firebase (coming from vanilla JS) and it works fine in local enviroment. Tries it on server: nope. That environment is different, with different paths and multiple "roots" (addon domains).

Google that? Sure. Nobody has had this issue. Stackoverflow doesn't seem to know (or care).

"Ultimate beginner" guides that leave you hanging, because it isn't a beginners guide..

I shape my own experiences like I’m constructing the ultimate personal code project

I made the mistake my first year as a programmer to start sim racing. It was a disaster. I was continuing staring at a screen. The next step was buing woods and knifes for woodcarving. Still a disaster. It was demanding the same concentrations in very small pieces for my eyes, just like code. Now, i learned. I get a motorcycle and i hope riding soon. I believe it is the ultimate anti-stress activity. Nothing to do with high speeds, just the feeling of riding, and doing something not mentally

I think the "ultimate success" means success on a personal level:

Take a step back. Realize *this* does not matter. It allows you to build and support your own family. Be with your loved ones. Have pets. See your kids grow up. Grow old together. Looking back on a fulfilling life. Dying surrounded by your loved ones. Knowing, they are safe and cared for. I'm so proud of you what you have created out of nothing! You truly are a developer!

And now go back arguing about tabs vs. spaces on the internet.

Going to have a call for a position in Vancouver, Canada with AWS. I'm from the poor side of Europe, so I'm really excited. My ultimate goal is California, but Canada will do as well until then.

I think i came up with the ultimate captcha. A gif that displays four numbers, one by one in current position. There's always one number displayed. I do not think that AI can recognize it without some nasty adjustments while it's very clear for humans. A while ago I had to do a captcha with six questions and failed it a few times. Wtf.

The site I'm working on will have this captcha soon. I make a microservice in C that will create a captcha equal to the last url parameter, the four digit number. By giving the number yourself as parameter you know what to validate with later at post. I probably include the answer hashed with some salt in a hidden field to compare answer with so it works if you have two tabs open

I'm two increments away from ultimate power

Stackoverflow - the ultimate treasure for all the developers.

Now a days, I don't use "keyboard" much to build an application... the mouse is enough for "Right Click -> Copy" and "Right Click -> Paste".

;)

Need help/advise: 💻 Anyone's experience with Linux on MacBooks - I've had a lot of tried, including Arch, Ubuntu, Cent and probably more I can't remember.

🔴The issue is always the Desktop manager / UI / Window manager: either it's too 👹 ugly, or too heavy(read Ubuntu default).

Want to find the ultimate compromise with reasonable support for hardware, yet with high usability.

Things like multi-touch gestures are a bonus🔥(I know there's extra bins I can install for that)

I don't mind something more to configure, but would rather stick with apt-get and similar rather than having to manually build everything 😉

As you probably understood by now - I need something close to MacOS yet Linux based 😎

Has anyone used this app successfully on Android?

Been working on redoing my desktop lately. Currently the specs are:
-FX-8350
-Gigabyte GA-970A-DS3P motherboard with a broken USB 3.0 header lmao
-GTX 660 (Gonna upgrade to an RX 580 at some point, I don't do any hardcore gaming so I know I don't need a top of the line GPU)
-Crucial BX500 240gb SSD
-WD 500gb HDD (gonna upgrade to a bigger one eventually)
-Some like $60 Dynex PSU I bought a while ago, waiting on my Corsair RM650x to come in

At this very moment, it's running Windows 7 Ultimate x64. Once I get to a point where I'm happier with the build, I'll switch it over to Linux and start ricing. It has Windows right now cause I'm just using it for some games and when I last fucked with the hardware, it was the middle of the night so I didn't want to spend too much time setting up a Linux distro the way I want it and everything right then, just putting that off for later (especially cause I use Arch btw)

I have been playing some Half Life 2 lately. I forgot how fucking fun that game is.

Aside from my PC, my birthday was technically yesterday (it's about 2:30AM as of writing this, and I've been up for a while, so I still consider it today). Now I'm 2 years away from being able to legally drink (and smoke since the law change, although I still do both anyways).

I'm gonna stop rambling. Life is fairly decent right now. Not too much to "rant" about except for shit with my roommates, but I won't bore everyone with that

Hi.
I know python and javascript and I'm interested in solving algorithms. But I have a problem, that is I don't the algorithm that I have designed is optimum. I mean it has lower order complexity. I want to know if I want to improve my skills, I should solve programming challenges or, start to read data structures and algorithm design?
I should add my ultimate goal is machine learning.