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The programmer and the interns part 2.
We will discuss numerous events that happened over the past week or so.
Case 0:
We had our weekly engineering meeting. The interns were invited as well.
We hold meetings in the generic, big, corporate meeting rooms with a huge table in the middle.
There were more than enough chairs for everyone yet the most motivated and awkward intern (let's call him Simon) chose to stand, cause "it's cool man, I always stand". At this point we all know that he probably read about Agile stand up meetings and is confusing it with this one. Otherwise he's simply trying to stand out from the rest. (See what I did there?)
Anyway the meeting has started way later than planned (what a surprise) and took much longer than Simon expected. Everybody is sitting and listening to the CTO while occasionally glancing at the weird looking intern standing awkwardly and refusing to sit because it would make his original intentions pointless. He even tried to nod whith a serious face and his hands crossed when the CTO said something and looked at his general direction. The meeting was about a hour and a half long but with the delay it was at least 2.5 hours.
At the end Simon was so exhausted that he fell asleep on the office puff, was forgotten and locked inside. 3 hours later when I was home I received a call from him with his sleepy-trying-to-sound-awake voice telling the news. Lucky there's a 24/7 Noc team that could rescue him.
Case 1:
An intern who was late on his Linux test connected to every test VM (should I remind you that each one has a personal VM but they share passwords for their roots?) and tried to reset it with "sleep 10s; shutdown -h now".
He took down all 13 of those so I had to turn them on and switch passwords again.
Case 2:
One of the interns didn't do any of his training chores. Apparently he forgot what he was told to use, ignored all online documentation and used Windows CMD with Linux commands for almost a week already.
Case 3:
Simon uses Vim to write all text possible. Even mails, he then selects all and copies into the mail body. He spent half a day on a homework task I gave them. He wrote everything inside one text file using Vim. When he was done he saved the file and quit the editor. He then said "Oh shit! I've forgot to sign my name!". I explicitly told him that theres absolutely no need for that because I see which mail the file was sent from. He said "I don't even need a program for that!" and gave a couple of strokes on the keyboard.
Later I received an email from him with a .txt attachment. When I opened it the only text that was inside was "by Simon ;)".
I logged to his machine and checked the last command ran on the file:
echo "by Simon ;)" > linuxtasks.txt
Case 4:
The girl here uses a MacBook. She keeps getting confused with the terminal windows and rebooting her own machine instead of the remote VM.
Case 5:
Haven't checked yet how this happened but one of the interns deleted the gui from his local Centos.33 -
So this happened around 3 years ago in college.
Some software was missing on a random PC in college, so the professor asked this girl, to copy it to that PC since its the only one the setup file.
The solutions are many here, but what this girl did made me and 2 others ragequit the room.
She right clicked copy, unplugged the mouse, plugged in the other PC and tried clicking paste.
I facepalmed so hard, I almost broke my nose that day.16 -
So I recently was donated a bunch of old iPhones to fix up and resell. When I turned on one of the iPhone 5s'es, I was greeted with this:
Okey-dokey... I guess I'll just sit here and wait...
10 -
My CS professor just told my class of 200 people that 1 is a prime number.
You can practically hear centuries of mathematicians rolling over in their graves7 -
Every teacher of every course ever:
"This will be the hardest course you've ever done"
"This will be the most fun course you've ever done"
"You will need to put in 40hrs to even get a sufficient mark"
hah! don't make me laugh!6 -
!dev
I never mix my personal and professional life. But I've totally lost that ability today.
She said no! 😶19 -
For fucks sake, Facebook....
Why the fuck are you showing me an add for MY FUCKING PAGE!!! I paid for that shitty add and you show it to me?!? Why the fuck would you do that?!?
You know that I'm the fucking admin and I ALREADY LIKED THE PAGE!!!
Get your fucking shit together mate! 😡4 -
why in 2019, are browsers so fucking inconsistant.
im not even doing anything stupidly complicated.
simple UL List conataining links and background colors on the LI's....
and yet, every single browser is different, or in IE's case completly lost the plot.
22 -
I have to share because I'm so confused at the moment. After troubleshooting for months trying to figure out why my laptop would randomly go into sleep mode, as I was typing. (Imagine my frustrations working on exam projects to have the screen just go black on me every 30 seconds.)
Today I found a post on the Dell forums by another person with the same problem. Apparently a magnetic closure on my bracelet triggered a sensor to think I had shut the lid on my laptop. What. The. Fuck. Guess that explains why it would only happen sometimes, as I don't wear this bracelet often 🙃🔫 definitely the funniest and weirdest problem I've ever had with a laptop.10 -
Damn I hate when people ask me to stop coding just because Excel doesn't work or the Antivirus license expired, even worse my boss gets mad at me when I tell him that I'm a coder that we have tech support people, who apparently do nothing, to all the PMs and Lead Devs
Please stop telling me about the freaking deadline if you also ask me to install your stuff.
Sorry for the negativity, had to get it out12 -
"Oh, I reverted your changes because I did not understand them"
I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY REFACTORING YOUR SHITTY SPAGUETTI SHIT U LAZY PIECE OF SHIT !
But I guess being a senior guy entitles u to sit your fat fuck ass in your chair writting garbage all day long.
Btw what he did not understand was f strings. In python. Srsly. How is that arrogant incompetent prick paid at least 10k more than me3 -
Colegue could not find data when running a very important report.
I did some research and found out that there was no data for for the month they searched . They ensured my boss that they did upload the data and that the program just does not work.
I spent two days of work trying to find out what the problem could be, under boss's pressure.
Still there was no data in the database or a record that there was ever any for that month.
The deadline passed. We got fined and only after that the colegue reilised that she had never generated the data, so there was not even data to upload.
Now it is my fault cause I never told her that she needed to do that.
I am the new guy and she has been working the same job for 7 years now. Like WTF1 -
Stupid bloody PM.
I asked him for two images a long time ago: a 1x and a 2x ‘0’ monogram for Apple wallets, since we currently have monograms for glyphs 1-9 and a-z. And this is in production, so any merchant whose name starts with a ‘0’ will cause a crash. We’ve been fortunate thus far.
But this PM. He lied about who needed to make the images for three weeks, saying it’s up to the designer, when he actually made them himself. He also said he was going to take care of handing the task off, and never did, and then said designer when on FTO. When I asked the designer about it after he came back, he had no clue what graphics (and even the feature) I was talking about, or even what the requirements for the graphics might be. I had to confront the PM before he admitted he made the originals, and (begrudgingly) said he would make the new ones.
When said PM did finally make the images, the colors were all wrong. They’re not the light teal from our branding, they’re dark blue and the font is different, making them pretty ugly.
Also, after assuring me that the naming convention for the new images is the same, I discover that they’re neither organized into folders nor even named properly. (And yes, he is aware of how it should be.) I can rename and move them around easily enough, but come on, don’t say you did the work and then give me a mess to clean up!
And to top it all off, he completely spaced making the ‘u’ monograms, so I’m still short a fucking glyph!
Asdfjskldf.
How do you do every single thing wrong? Like, how!?1 -
I'm pissed at my cousin who's studying IT at the moment. He wants to copy my thesis project(from 3 years ago) and make it his own for his thesis project this year. Like woah dude! Can't you be creative, work hard, and make a project of your own because that's for your own good? And don't you dare bring up the "I'm your cousin, pretty please"-card up! He also wants me to lie if his professor contacts me and tell that he was part of the project. Are you effin' kidding me? You didn't know how to code 3 years ago! How would you expect me to tell your prof that you were part of the team? I just gave him the documentation(without the source code) and I said I lost the apk. That's just how far I can go for someone like that 😕9
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I know you guys probably have seen the worst of the worst...
But have you seen a js used to generate xml and send it to backend as json then parse it to xml? No template literals btw so there’s a lot of multiline with lots of + here and there
Or using sql to request web service?12 -
teaching myself pointers right now
here is my learning process right now:
1. what even is this
2. wow this is neat
3. why does this even exist
4. what even is this
5. repeat9 -
The nightmare continues.
Currently dealing with a code review from a “principal” dev (one step above senior), who is unironically called a “legendary dev” by some coworkers. It’s painfully obvious he didn’t read the code, and just started complaining and nitpicking.
It’s full of requests to do things that make absolutely no sense, and would make the code an unmaintainable mess.
• Ex: moving the logic and data collection from the module’s many callers into the module instead of just passing in the data.
• Ex: hiding api endpoint declarations by placing them in the module itself, and using magic instance variables to pass data to it. Basically: using global functions and variables instead of explicit declarations and calls.
• Ex: moving the logic to determine which api endpoint to use, for all callers, into the view.
More comments about methods being “too complex” (barely holds water) right next to comments saying “why are these separate? merge them together!”
Incredulously asking how many times I’m checking permissions and how ridiculous it all is. (The answer? Twice.)
Conflating my “permissions” param and method names with a supposedly forthcoming permissions system overhaul, and saying I shouldn’t use permissions because my code will all have to get rewritten. Even if that were true, and it’s likely not, the ticket still needs to use the current permissions. I can’t just ignore them because they might be rewritten someday.
Requests to revert some code cleanup because the reviewer thought the previous heavily-nested and uncommented versions (with code duplication) were easier to read. Unsurprisingly, he wrote them.
On the same ticket, my boss wants me to remove all styling and clientside validation, debouncing, and error messages from a form. Says “success” and “connection failed” messages are good enough. The form in question sends SMS and email using arbitrary user input for addresses. He also says it shouldn’t be denounced on the server, and doesn’t want me to bother checking permissions. Hello, spam!
Related: the legendary dev reviewer says he can’t think of a reason why we would want to disable the feature for consumers, so I should remove the consumer feature flag.
You can’t make this stuff up.7 -
Something I probably shouldn't talk about:
One of the projects at work has a specific path you can visit. The """security""" is that nobody should know the path. But I can guaran-fucking-tee you it's not difficult to guess.
On this page, ***without a login***, you can view some user information. Well, you can view all of it, but only certain fields.
And if you perform a specific action on this page, you can get their password, plaintext.
This project is not mine. But learning all of this made me super uneasy. I had to share it.14 -
I'm doing a migration where I have to move like 200+ old-old websites. Stuff was never touched for ages and we kinda moved it 'into the cloud' now.
So after a few sites I check graylog (where all the logs are stored) and I saw this gem:
stderr: PHP message: PHP Warning: file_get_contents(http://tinyurl.com/api-create.php/... Online Viagra/): failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 400 Bad Request
And I was like, wtf? Is this site hacked?
Ok the sadness starts now. Behold the following:
function getTinyUrl($url) {
$tinyurl = file_get_contents("http://tinyurl.com/api-create.php/...);
return $tinyurl;
}
This function gets executed for the current link AND every dynamic href on the page.. EVERY pageload.
I was not even mad.
3 -
Sometimes i dont even feel like i am living at all. I couldnt even state what makes me happy anymore without a second thought.
15 -
New semester, new problems....
Just started my 6th semester at uni and my teammates are already proving to be serious dumbfucks..
They want to keep all files neat and organized, sure, fine, good idea.
They want to use Dropbox to store code and our LaTeX report, no, never! Somehow managed to get them to switch to GitHub, yay!
They want to have everything in one fucking repo! Why? Oh god, why? And I can't change their mind on this!
And they still want to use Dropbox to have a backup and sync between their machines...
So during this semester, we will store our LaTeX report and the, at minimum, 3 code projects, in the same repo organized by folder!
Why not one project, one repo? Then I won't have to pull all the shit code that I don't have to work with!
Expect more rants in the coming months...2 -
What manner of imbecile writes a password reset function that passes the email and password as god damn query parameters, in the email link....1
-
>X gets corrupted somehow
>"sudo apt-get remove xorg"
>begins uninstalling millions of packages
>a fullscreen warning flashes by: "Are you SUUUUUURE you wanna remove the kernel?"
>wasn't prompted to deny
>After process, get kernel panic
>reboot
>kernel panic within 10 seconds
Why must you do this to me, Debian?21 -
Am I the only one who thinks that 6 10 12 14 are even odd numbers and 2 4 8 16 are even even numbers?7
-
1. Trust no one even yourself
2. Ask questions even if they are stupid
3. Test your solutions, even manually
4. Write comments
5. Take your time to solve problem, even if it looks like easy see point 1
6. Take some time during work to get familiar with code and read something about technology that is part of your current work - even if you know it - see point 1
7. Always try to see a big picture - see point 2 - why is it implemented is more important then how is it implemented2 -
I've seen people posting their own convoluted ways to find out whether or not a number is even, so here's mine. :-P
8 -
not really a rant, but but i am intrigued...
got an email that my rockstar account (gta) email was changed.
changed the email and password and noticed that all the details were changed (nickname, date of birth etc) and the guy even posted on support asking to remove steam link (probably could not login). But rockstar requires a screenshot of user logged in to steam (as if that is hard to fabricate...), so he gave up :D
i'm not even mad, i'm wondering what's the guy's story. Probly bought a stolen account for cheap, hoping to play :(
Maybe i should just let him play the game, since i'm not... -
Your old uncle : I bought an internet but Google isn't working.
You search the house and there isn't even a smell of internet connection, not even subscription line...2 -
I was having dinner with two girls, one a project manager and the other some finance reviewer or something like that. We were discussing our line of work and I was talking about how bad quality code affects everybody and the finance reviewer girl goes like (and I quote) "In our company we use polymorphism, inheritance and encapsulation so it's not a big problem. So our database has a parent class and we only use the parent class". I was at a loss for words. I mean, if only more programmers just did that, right?14
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The fact that I still have to Google up even the simplest of css syntaxes even tho I've been doing css for years now1
-
Bootcrap. Just looked at their main page, and it's a whopping 75k of markup plus 294k of CSS (W-T-F?!), and 224k of JS. All of that shit for a page that shouldn't be more than 10k of markup, 16k of CSS, and that has no reason to even use JS at all.
<a class="d-flex flex-column flex-lg-row justify-content-center align-items-center mb-4 text-dark lh-sm text-decoration-none
Yeah, that crap is supposed to be "easier" to write. That's what you get for totally failing to understand how HTML/CSS even work, clinging to late 1990s practices, and ditching decades of progress since then.
Although the Bootcrap folks do manage to write valid HTML. As low as that sounds, but that counts already as an exceptional skill in the notoriously low-skilled frontend "dev" world that is all about making shitty websites.
Oh, and the rest like Failwind and Bulimia aren't any better. They already fail at delivering valid HTML on their websites.17 -
$ npm install ...
$ added 10 packages from 7 contributors and audited 21813 packages.
I realized that after some point you don't even think about your project dependencies growing. Because even adding 10 packages, it looks like it doesn't even changes the total number of packages. 21813, 21920, 21980... Does it even matter? Fuck.7 -
So Android phone makers have been lying about installing security patches for years. Hhhmmmm https://twitter.com/wired/status/...3
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I see many developers ranting about recruiters messaging, texting or even calling them. While in my case, the recruiter doesn't even accept my invitation on LinkedIn!2
-
My own implementation for calculating if a number is even.
Full Code: https://ghostbin.com/paste/fkp6j
18 -
*spends day working on really hairy JS problem*
Boss: How is this any different from yesterday's product?
*cranks out an hour's shitty HTML*
Boss: Good job today, I'm impressed!2 -
A recruiter emailed me.
And called me (and left a voicemail).
AND texted me.
About a job opportunity in California (I live in Texas).
That requires experience writing performance critical and thread-safe code in a large multi-threaded codebase (I work primarily in JavaScript/TypeScript ecosystem, fat chance of that).
Responsibilities listed as: Focus on Supercharger Open Charge Point Protocol (OCPP) software features. I don’t even know what the fuck that means.
Opportunity is for a 3 month contract.
Why are you so desperate, lady?10 -
My second prototype of the studio equalizer. It’s not even close to being done. It’s barely even started.
13 -
Legit considering quitting my job and going back to my old workplace.
Fucking getting real tired of fucking around with html and css on the daily.
The school is fucking crashing down on our shitty as web services. But my manager (as much as we love her) is forcing everyone to double time on a rather stupid project that keeps constantly changing on the daily.
I am so fucking tired of it4 -
When project managers copy and paste clients' vague requests word for word with no further explanation
2 -
Because nothing says "security" like some good ol' Base64 encoding. Bet whoever wrote that code was wearing mirror shades.1
-
A client tells me that the colors are all wrong on my screen, and offers the idea of calibrating it.
#i use f.lux
3 -
Oh don't worry I just wasted a whole day, it's not like I had homework to do, projects to finish and VM's to install and I busted my sick ass trying to make it all work on my Linux machine which is now tainted with software I didn't even want to install and useless docs while having a 105 fever. It's all fucking worth it because at the end, of the next day, oh wait...you didn't even install the updates properly, fuck you windows! I swear the first thing I'll do after graduation will be getting rid of you!!
5 -
Learned over Xmas, my brother-in-law works at a company with NO CENTRALIZED VERSION CONTROL. They just... pass around zip files of the latest code? Or something? Like jfc, even as a student we at least used TortoiseSVN!
I was ok with their marriage last summer, but now I feel that my sister deserves better. Can't imagine a company like that attracts the best and brightest. Here's hoping he actually exceeds the expectations, and leads the company into a glorious, gitty future.2 -
If you're going to host a Women in Tech Breakfast, there needs to be more than one samovar of coffee (even if it's being constantly refilled). Clearly the hosts have no experience in distributed computing.
-
Hackathons are really getting obvious in their employer fantasies...
Wired has a great article on the exploitation of hackathons:
https://wired.com/story/...
3 -
Getting called by my dad "how do I make a local network with my phone?"
"I don't fricking know, I don't have your phone"
"Well you are the tech guy"
Really now?11 -
These script kiddies fuck with my error metrics! I want 0 !
I swear I'll find them! Even enabled IP log for every request contain “.php”.
Needless to say, app is not even in PHP and PHP isn’t even present on server
12 -
I'm an advocate of free software, debian specifically, hell my business runs on it!
But sometimes you just can't get around to use proprietry software. One of those is nvidia....
WHAT THE FUCKING MESSED UP NAGGING NARK SHIT NVIDIA!!! YOU FUCKING BREAK MY SYSTEM! YOU WONT PROPERLY COMPILE YOUR KERNEL MODULE, YOU BREAK MY X, AND ONCE I FIXED ALL THOSE THINGS MANUALLY(!) YOU HAVE THE FUCKING GUTS TO NOT EVEN DETECT MY SCREENS PROPERLY
WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT!!! NVIDIA YOU SUCK!!! MOTHERFUCKER DO I REALLY HAVE TO FALL BACK TO INTEL GRAPHICS??? FUCK YOUR FUCKING COMPANY AND ESPECIALLY YOUR LINUX SUPPORT
And no i am not planning to use ATI since they dont support EGL, what is a dependency for the gnome desktop...6 -
When someone tells you how to do a job but they cant even get to your basic level to even begin with
2 -
Amazing how one can easily browse the web nowadays...
A popup to allow notifications, that shitty cookie information, a subscription box and a fucking video that automatically starts playing while drowning my mobile internet.
Maybe I'll write another rant about the actual topic I looked up...
7 -
So I finally got my senior project approved by my school's assistant principal (the one who deals with every student's project) and he said that the three forms of evidence I suggested were not enough. A quick summary of my project: I'm supposed to make a game engine in Java before April of 2017. Every student needs 3 forms of evidence that they did the project so I suggested screenshots of my work, the finished source code, and pictures of me actually working on it. In addition to all of that I would have a ton of documentation and sample projects to test different features of the engine. Well, he doesn't really understand that for a high school student, that's already enough work for a couple of years and thinks I need more evidence. So what does he do?
He requires me to find at least 5 people to test the engine and complete a survey about it. This normally wouldn't be a problem, except I'm a high school student and don't know more than 2 people who are fluent enough in Java to work on a game. And, I have to finish the project before January now to give the people enough time to work with it.
Long story short, I'm not even out of high school and I'm already experiencing the struggles of dealing with non-technical people.10 -
!rant Yesterday, I picked up a plate with a single fork on it and managed to drop the fork in such a way that it landed on my foot and drew blood.
How y’all doing?8 -
public class Main {
public static void main(String[] args) {
System.out.println("Hello, World!");
}
}
sorry for my messy code19 -
Year: 2006
Dad bought a 2nd hand computer from his office.
Configurations:
OS: Windows 98
RAM: 256MB
HDD: *Forgot*
15" CRT Monitor
Floppy Disk Drive
And the best moment of joy was when my then best friend who had 2 PCs with one of them was the best configured system of that era with wireless mouse and keyboard (wireless was extremely costly and rare then), comes to my house with a PC Game (WWE some year) and tells me that this game only works in 98.
Also, one of the most Proud moment I ever felt for my computer.1 -
A programmer can code.
A developer is a jack of all trades jumping into any stack and mastering the basics in a weekend.
So why the fuck can't I grasp humans. Their code is spaghetti....
Debugging gives way to many problems...
Atleast my personal code has a feature creep and for once it's a good thing!3 -
When i sit down and code, its like a conversation with women.
Im not sure whats going on, but it appears to be working.6 -
Why I don't use Stack Overflow 99% of the time:
Me: I'm not a ruby developer, but I have to write a small script in ruby. I ran into a problem where i'm getting behavior I don't expect. I have a method which expects an array, and when multiple items are passed into it from the command line parser, behaves appropriately, but when only one command line argument is passed, the method breaks because it was passed a single element, not an array of one element. Here's my code, how do I get my desired behavior?
Most highly voted answer: your problem is your passing it a single element and not an array
Question downvoted into oblivion. As if i'm a pleb for not immediately having a perfect grasp of dynamic typing because when I have the choice I stick with strong nominative typing.8 -
- build a self-service shell script to manage your environment in all kinds of ways with a single script and different switches
- ask tech manager for a server to keep that script [and others] at so coleagues should not bother setting dependencies up on their windows workstations
- be asked to list out all use cases
- be promissed your consolidated tool will be torn apart and replaced by 8 other tools depending on use-cases. Meaning 8 different browser windows open at all times to manage your single env
- be assured that this kind of improvement will take months and is doubtful to pay off2 -
Devrant: @UserIFollow posted new rant
Me: Oh cool, I need a break anyways...
...
Me: There is new stuff in dayly toprants. I have to read them, too.
...
Me: Oh damn, so much time gone already. I have to work now...
Devrant: @UserIFollow posted new rant
...2 -
Oh man don't you just LOVE the weekend? I have no fucking idea but I have so much energy and motivation now... I might even try to pull a all nighter on my personal project !
Anyway have a nice weekend everyone! 😁3 -
The moment when you've spent way too much time working on your mail server and your dumbass friend instinctively slaps a @gmail.com at the end of your custom domain...
1 -
It was fun to stay home last week, this week the isolation is starting to get to me. Plus I'm PMSing. Somebody should come and hug me... 😢
Been getting really cold chills lately, so I'm not even sure if I got the damn virus.
You guys, please make a vaccine soon. I need to get out and socialize or I'll go insane. 😖7 -
We all hate being tech support for our family and friends, but motherfuck this is insane; my sister asks me for support and then doesn't listen to me. E.g. I tell her that the Microsoft login page is fucked up so she'll need to login again and she doesn't try again, but pesters me until I login for her... Every goddamn time...11
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After ranting about the Google play search, I just noticed that devRants tag search is even worse. not even close!
4 -
I was skimming a FedEx page to track a shipment when out of the corner of my eye I see “Watch list” and almost had a merry little panic attack because I apparently did not get the requisite amount of sleep for rational thought.
FedEx, our ideas of watch list are very different.
17 -
Just had my first freelance job here i Korea. I was told that most(?) of my job was going to be front-end web dev, and that the 'required' skillset was html/css. I thought I'd be making some free money, and I was wrong. Ended up doing all sorts of things like sql,js,ajax,php, and EVEN design. Apparently "developers" here are people who can do pretty much everything on computers. How many other countries are like this?12
-
Just looked at a fellow devs code (has 4 years experience). His test rig has the same 5 lines of code, copy pasted in the same file ... 400+ times.
What is the appropriate action to take?8 -
This website design PSD is bullshit. If I hide the group of layers labeled "Nav" half of the page disappears.6
-
Why isn't this ready for testing yet?
Could it be that despite multiple meetings emails and face to face conversations none of you have provided me with what I actually need?
Yes I can create you new email and SMS campaigns. But I need two little things first.
1 The template text.
2 The sign off forms from compliance
Without them I can't do shit. So stop chasing me on where we're at because I've been chasing you on this for two weeks.
This shit here is why I'm the grumpy It guy. -
What the tickets I receive daily are like... -
“You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.”2 -
I'm hoarding free courses on Udemy which I probably won't even watch. I even enrolled in stuff not related to dev, things like meditation and etc...1
-
Can we get a translator bot? I can't copy paste the text in app, so every time I want to translate some rant, I have to copy rant link, open it elsewhere, copy the text, and then go translate it.
Like, bots must do it easier and faster, right?15 -
*Installing the new ubuntu* Install grub onto the HDD where you are installing the OS, thanks!
*Installer installs grub over Windows Boot Manager on an SSD*..... *sigh*3 -
Thanks google, I don't think I will forget to try them
Had to scroll for half a minute to find something I didn't already have
1 -
I fucked up on my grad school essay by sending them the PDF of my college-specific paragraphs. All of them, yes.
To correct said fuckup, I attached the actual essay, but with a college-specific paragraph meant for another school.
However, I imagine that they saw the wrong essay and then went to the paragraph list and saw the paragraph meant for them?
I MADE TWO DIFFERENT FUCKUPS THAT CANCELLED EACH OTHER OUT AND I GOT ACCEPTED.
????? PROFIT??????3 -
Spam assassin kills most of the spam I get before I see it. It works pretty well. However, I started getting a fuck ton of spam from some asshole on a Turkey server. You cannot forward spam to the gov anymore so what to do (They use a honeypot. Apparently it doesn't catch everything.)? Well I got the abuse email account address for the server. Then I went into my servers spam filter for the email address I am having issues with. Then I redirect the email to this abuse email address. Then I delete it from the server. This makes it so my email client never sees the message and I automagically notify the abuse account. If the abuse account is owned by the spammer then he is just filling up his own server with shit.
Anybody else have fun or interesting ways with dealing with spam the regular filters don't catch?3 -
Get a request for commit rights for my container repo; another developer would be lovely. Let's see what they know and want to work on.
*reading message*
*reading message*
"...I'd like to enable your containers to hold other containers."
They already do. Stay the fuck away from my code. -
When some other team wants to blame us because they're getting a HTTP Status Code 0....
That's not even a valid status... IT MEANS YOU ABORTED THE REQUEST AND KILLED THE CONNECTION...
OH STILL OUR FAULT... WELL DO U KNOW ABOUT NETWORK ISSUES AND SERVER OVERLOADING WHEN U SPAM IT WITH TOO MANY REQUESTS?
OH YOU RETRIED? HOW DID YOU RETRY? BETTER NOT BE SPAMMING US WITH MORE REQUESTS...
EVER HEARD OF TCP/IP BACK OFF LOGIC....4 -
So according to my manager its not really acceptable for me to sit at my desk and vent about what a colossal idiot my Tech Lead is. Fair enough i suppose. even though he feels the need to chime in on every technical decision when he himself doesnt understand how async code works. he thinks you can set a variable inside a promise and then return that variable outside the promise, because its after the call. This guy is a senior software engineer on an iOS team and I, a trainee, have more iOS experience than him.2
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My professor asked me today why I wanted to build my project using OOP.
This is a 480 level course and I have 2 1/2 years experience building well over 30 projects with OOP. And yes, we have students here who are nervous about the idea of using OOP. Nevermind that I and others took two classes on the topic.
I have hit my dispair event horizon. It has to get better from here. 🤯😬🤬🤬🤮☠️4 -
Me: not even using typescript (even disabled everywhere), living a happy life.......
VS Code: TS ERROR....TS ERROR... TS HINT....
Well, fuck you too Microsoft.1 -
- assignment is to display a paragraph fit within a rectangle
- takes maybe 10 minutes to write
- 1 error preventing Xamarin Forms solution from building
- googles error and seems to be a version issue with a single package
- upgrade that single package
- 43 errors preventing solution from building
- reverts back to previous package version
- 76 errors preventing solution from building
- angrily turns off laptop and packs away things into laptop case
- talks shit about xamarin and all the annoying nuisances ive dealt with for this stupid mobile app class
- takes laptop back out because deadline is tomorrow and i have to make the solution build even though i want nothing to do with it
- laptop takes 2 hours and 14 minutes to load up Windows (no update or anything. Just me signing in like every other normal day)
- code builds first try without errors
- wait what the fuck
- concludes that i need only verbally intimidate electronics into submission from now on7 -
Jetbrains Java runtime.
I just disabled it and enabled system Java runtime instead. I should have done this months ago, or maybe even years. The performance went from terrible to amazing in just a few seconds. Wow!12 -
So ya its almost mid April, deadline is end of April and 20% of APIs are not yet ready and mobile app has barely 50% of pages done.
This is going to be a fun project to work on, I was asked to join the team couple of weeks ago
What is even more funny I still have no clue what this project does, I'm just creating UI based on what the designer (that started a month ago) delivered just a week ago -- Three weeks before final deadline -
When a co-worker has a 'multi-screen' desktop. and you find he has a 4:3, a 16:9 and a native laptop screen, all different brands, and none of the screens line up...1
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There is that meme "I've no idea what I'm doing" and there's the meme "it's fine *in a fire*". Currently I feel like a combination of those two. I'm in unexplored waters and nobody knows what's going on anyway, so I just make sure my part is technically correct according to specifications and when everything comes together I'm ready to respond to the expected disaster..
I tried to spread awareness of the coming disaster but nobody listens so I'll just wait and see what happens..1 -
We write our feature specifications in Gherkin, so it is clear to every member of the team (even nondevs GASP!) exactly what each feature should do.
SO WHY THE FUCK, AFTER BUILDING THE FEATURE, DO I GET REVIEWS FROM THE pRoDuCt MaNaGeRs, SHOWING ME THEY WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR THE FEATURE. YOU WROTE THE FUCKING FEATURE DID YOU HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART MID THOUGHT YOU IDIOT!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SO SICK OF IT I'M SICK OF WORKING 12 HOURS ON A FRIDAY FOR YOUR STUPID SHIT2 -
Waiting for my demo video to finish compiling and trying not to think of awful reviews I'm gonna get on my paper next year. 😐 #AnxietyIsConsistentlyFun4
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rant = Music
Watching the Hits for this month...
FUCK
One good music for every 10.
So many new Artists ... And so many that suck. Makeup and Autotuning does not make a Singer.
Even some that can't even really sing or even speak right.
Anyone know Bebe Rexha? WTF? Just an example of a "singer" that can't even speak properly...3 -
How to deal with a tech illiterate Karen-type client who uses tech related words even she/he don't even understand them?2
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Left what I like doing the most, i.e. Coding, R&D stuff and started studying German trying to travel and continue my studies there. Really frustrating to do a task you don't love continously without breaks lol. Anyway yesterday opened up my gaming rig. started steam. opened Path of exile to play after a really long time. 17 GIG UPDATE. quietly closes pc. starts crying in a corner.4
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I find it a bit ironic that even Mark Zuckerberg covers his laptop's webcam even though the data goes to him. :D2
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You know you have a great dev team when you signed them up on a codefight tourney and nobody even scored.
Seriously, did u guys even try? FML1 -
Creating a LinkedIn profile was a good decision. They send you hilarious job offers almost daily, even though I'm not even searching. Always a good laugh 😂
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Why the fuck is debit cards that don't need a PIN for transactions even a thing? What is so difficult to understand or implement in a two factor authentication? Like do these companies have meetings where some fucktard proposes removing a crucial security feature and the others just nod approval?6
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PISS ON YOUR PANTS BOSS
PISS ON WORDPRESS TOO
GO EAT A TUPLE OF ASS SINGING SPOILED FOODS YOU SPOILED LITTLE KID
GO BANANAS AND EXILE YOURSELF TO OBLIVION3 -
I don't get why annotations are even allowed for local variables.
Reflection doesn't even work for local variables.
What's the entire purpose to annotate!!!
Am I missing something!!!1 -
Trying to work out an encoding bug after upload, I ask them to send me the original version of the file that is currently uploaded. I look at the files and they seem strangely similar, but strangely different.
I reply to them, "To confirm, this is the version you uploaded?"
"Nope." -
Well thanks....
So I might be a complete useless noob, but android studios help messages are not really helping at the moment either.. 😅
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The Angular 2 documentation taught how I must split everything into a gazillion different files, to separate the languages. Now I'm learning React and JSX, and I'm starting to question my very existence in the universe...
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inspired by another rant. quick questions!
1. without checking, how do you scan a QR code on your phone? does it have a built-in setting? does it require an app? do you have it?
2. when was the last time you scanned a QR code?
my guess for most people is 1. idk. maybe it's there. maybe not. 2. haven't.
so why are they fucking everywhere? on every advertisment, receipt, payment terminal, etc.
I have nothing against QR. it's a great thing, and would be super useful if I didn't have to go out of my way to get a third party app just to scan it. but it makes me curious: is it this inconvenient for everyone? why are they all over the place? I've literally never seen someone scan one, and many people I know don't even know what it is!16 -
On the off-chance there's a Spotify Dev lurking around here... GOD DAMNIT!! For some reason listening to Spotify(PC) through earphones and then unplugging them to listen through the machine's speakers turns Spotify into a vegetable (not even a nice one). Speakers to headphones works fine though.
I needz muziks to devs good
*sad face*2 -
Colleague: I'll write a stored procedure that does fully qualified database table path names to access data from the other databases and then do business logic with all of it in the same proc.
Me: That will be 600 lashings.4 -
Tomorrow is my internal exams in college and all I can think about working on my side project, kind of amusing
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"Oh I knew they'd say that it's why I didn't get them to test it "
Did these words really just come out of your mouth? Who the fuck left you in charge of planning this shit?
Some team manager requested dev work it got approved and done standard. However they knew from the get go their team would rip it apart so when it came to the testing phase did he get his team to use it?
No he pulled fucking random people from other teams who don't use this feature at all in their day to day to test and sign it off.
Sod your vision mate. Our team just lost two months of work your team's productivity has dropped because you had a picture of how things should be but didn't want to be told no. And for a fucking valid reason your method is shit.
Don't think he'll be left in charge of a project anytime soon. -
woman(package) definition by Emacs:
-"browse UN*X manual pages `wo (without) man' "
-"woman is a built-in package."
Emacs, pls... :D1 -
Cleaning up code warnings in a 3rd party piece of software and found a function that was returning a pointer to a local variable, who wrote this piece of shit?!1
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After yesterday update, my Windows 10 installation literally died, and I’m stuck on spinning cursor.2
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Some moron at shitstagram: I have an idea! Let's make the already unbearable IG stories even more unwatchable by making a Q&A feature so people will spam even more stories with shit noone gives a fuck about.
Sometimes I wonder why I even use this shit...1 -
> Can you help me make this excel document more readable when it's printed? *looking to change the text size and column widths*
Who do you think I am, Mr fucking clippy? Why are you printing it anyway? Step into the millennium and email it to them you fucking nugget, save the planet.
This was after three people already approached my desk in a line, five minutes after I got in. All asking stupid questions, which not only do they have a service desk for but could quite easily Google. -
Why the fuck...!
Wrote code to import a spreadsheet... A "class code" field is in there to define the the product category... But when no products matching I find that the number is the result of a concatenation, one half of which is not in this file...
Just... Why... ?!?!?! -
I just found a class in the codebase which was named "Ariadne". Coz it was responsible for holding the information of where you are on the site wrt the homepage. Talk about giving meaningful names. There was no other documentation whatsoever. You know you've serious code quality issues when you expect fellow developers to know entire stories from Greek mythology to understand the code.1
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A developer just followed me on twitter and their description stated their game had 'FPS quality visuals'... What the fuck does that even mean?1
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Serverless app VS docker app
Let the rant begin !
Preferably write the cons and pros with your argument aswell :)6 -
If anybody even cares I use sublime for HTML, CSS, JS and php and IntelliJ for Java... even tho idk why would even anyone care soooo
bye -
I hate coding tests for a job interview. I've done three types:
1) university style of "write function that does x" (fizz buzz)
2) this code has a bug, fix it
3) write a program that does this university style contrived thing (exact change)
One and two usually are timed to 10 to 15 minutes per question. Three is untimed but unstated "time counts".
Off all three, the last one is the best in my opinion. However it still seem like we could come up with something better.1 -
So my girlfriend was trying to find another word for "whispered" and I just had to screenshot this ad...
Could someone tell me what its trying to actually scam people into?
6 -
Taking over from/working with an external dev company on an existing project.
Listen Mr CEO, I'm not here to mess with your firm's code and undo all of your work. I'm just doing my job. Stop telling me that the only thing left to do is "data" without any context. The site that I'm here to work on isn't even finished. -
triggers {
cron('H */1 * * 1-5') // 23 every working day
}
I hate when comments are not updated along with code.
Even more when git blame points at me xD1 -
Me: The client is getting hosting from a different company than we suggested since they require you to pay via bank and she doesn't consider that safe.
Co-worker dude: But aren't banks like the safest way of paying?
Me: Well I guess not in the Filipines (where the client is from)
Dude: .......3 -
F-Droid can't even download apps properly. It's fucking 2019 and you haven't figured out how to download files in background?! What are you, F-Droid devs, braindead?5
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Been coding for over 5 years and today I'm going into a college exam about simple GUI with Windows Forms and simple class structures.. This will be so hard
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Ive now waited a few days to do what i was so excited to do. Now im drunk and not sure what i was about to do. I do remember it had to do with a server tho, and im still excited :)
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I need to learn to stop offering help or telling everyone else how they should be doing things...
I end up giving myself more work..
If only I had time to look for a new team...1 -
Every day I am astonished by how helpful and clear composer error messages are...
Your requirements could not be resolved to an installable set of packages.
Problem 1
- The requested package whoami/whatami ~v4.1.55 exists as whoami/whatami[master, v0.1, v0.2-alpha, v0.3.0, v1.0.0, v1.0.1, v1.0.10, v1.0.11, v1.0.12, v1.0.13, v1.0.14, v1.0.15, v1.0.16, v1.0.17, v1.0.18, v1.0.19, v1.0.2, v1.0.20, v1.0.21, v1.0.22, v1.0.23, v1.0.24, v1.0.3, v1.0.4, v1.0.5, v1.0.6, v1.0.7, v1.0.8, v1.0.9, v1.1.0, v1.1.1, v1.1.2, v1.1.3, v1.1.4, v1.1.5, v1.1.6, v1.1.7, v1.1.8, v1.1.9, v1.2.0, v1.2.1, v1.2.2, v1.2.3, v1.2.4, v1.2.5, v1.2.6, v3.0.0, v3.0.1, v3.1.0, v3.1.1, v3.1.2, ... 100s more] but these are rejected by your constraint.
In laymans terms, couldn't find version ~v4.1.55.1 -
I had this great fun idea and i started programming immediatly. Yes! i'm feeling great and this is going to be amazing!
But Oh! then i had this amazing and super fun idea! It's almost the same, although it requires me to make massive changes to the code... Ok, no problem, i can do this. It's my project and it's fun. This is going to be great!
But then... FUCK2 -
It's time to reset all my passwords. Got the second Facebook password reset email this month and now even from Microsoft they doesn't even have the same email-pass pair...
And fucking Facebook doesn't tell anything about the reset attempt. Not even a fucking ip address.1 -
It's Friday and I'm having one of those "how the fuck is this working?" moments. Caveat: it's my code. 😂😂😂2
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Have you ever considered switching to IT support/help desk?
I mean, sometimes I try to analyze my own situation from a 3rd person perspective and I realize I could have a pretty much stressless job with still enough money to live a normal life.
I have a BSc and MSc(soon to have) in CS, with focus on AI/ML. I've always been a geek with a problem solving attitude, that's why I got into computers in the first place. And now I'm pondering if I should just try an IT Support position, it's the kind of things I used to do as a teenager when a classmate had a network/computer problem, it doesn't even feel like a job to me. I could call it a day, get home at 5/6pm, and spend time on my personal projects (software, infosec) with a fresh mind, going to bed (and sleep) knowing that the next day would be a nice one. No clients wanting a new feature that you gotta implement and push on a production server friday afternoon because your ceo(who is also a pseudo proj manager) just said:"Yes, we can", while you watch the technical debt rising like amazon's stocks.
Maybe this is just the burnout talking, I don't know. Maybe I should just try being a software engineer outside of Uni in the first place, and only then start pondering.
Maybe a sysadmin position...
Have a nice day12 -
ok, i'm losing my mind...
didn't aws credentials used to need to be in .aws/config????
and now its .aws/credentials??? wtfffffffff3 -
I'm gifting a custom macro pad built using a Raspberry Pico to my brother. I don't want him having to reprogram the pico every time he wants to change macros. Do you know of any program that allow him to change it easily or do I have to create my own?
Thanks!1 -
Am i the only one who stop watching conference whenever a Windows developer comes in and try to give his piece of shitty advice cause trust me guy 99% of times this advice is linked to some shitty promotion of their twat service their cloud,test labs whatever . Fucking waste of one hour . Microsoft is a bag of shit company
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About to go on crunch to release a feature that is late. I have my own blame to put on it, as I wasted a lot of time, but goddamn.
Every time I said we'd need to take time to test for corner cases and check for errors here and there, my boss told me I need not worry about it, it's just an MVP. Then the marketing people see the feature half-ready and start suggesting their own changes. Then the idea of the project is refined and changed, a new subfeature is added, new backend business logic is added, right as I'm about to finish the original core features. They have the full product in their heads and are already selling it to people while I'm still catching up with quite a significant number of tasks. Now I have to crunch to launch tomorrow morning.
I do mainly the backend parts, but while a frontend guy who knows his CSS does components and pages, I'm the one to figure out pretty much all logic, and how to stitch said components and pages together and how to make the frontend interact with the backend. I'm supposed to do this whole thing and also deploy it all. Hell yeah.2 -
currently setting up a repo for a git release branching demo because despite the fact we have a model in place, it was completely ignored when it came to release time with changes being pushed straight to the main develop branch *sighs*
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Already languishing custom software project on a test system automatically emails hundreds of expired users asking them to renew via the test system because I wasn't paying attention to the fact that a developer had added a cron job? Sure. Bring on the suck. Because I have nothing better to do than clean up after myself and my lack of attention to detail.
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I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like Led Zeppelin, and even less so anyone who thinks putting pineapple on a pizza is even remotely OK.10
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Just got explicitly told to turn off any Samsung Galaxy Note 7 devices in the usually generic pre-flight "Turn to flight mode" announcement 😂😂
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Was trying to dual boot my laptop with manjaro and windows so I transfered my isos to a USB so that I can image the USB on my desktop without loseing all the isos Well now the fucking desktop won't even post so I grabed my older desktop which doesn't have a hardrive and I can't find any of usbs so I'm booting from a sdcard in a USB multi reader2
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If you come to me asking for help about why my tools aren't working or other tech support questions I will immediately assume whatever info you tell me is wrong.
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From a meme somewhere, but pretty accurate.
When everything works. Boss:"Why are these guys even here?"
When problems occur. Boss:"Why are these guys even here?" -
Where even if it's now his work, he does the work. Even modifying your code in your own repository. Worse, committing it in master!
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I think this has been asked for before but I think it would be cool to add polls to our rants. Even if rsnts with polls are confined to their own section or something. I think this would benefit the devRant team too, as I know they like to collect statistics on strange things about the dev community.
Vote if you think this is a good idea.... Wait... 🙃 -
GOD DAMN THAT OLD BROKEN DATABASE.
Having to work with a legacy old database system running MySQL 4.0 is a pain. Especially when even finding a frikin manual for the thing is hard af.
And a cherry on top is dealing with encoding and collation in a system, that didn't really have a wide support for it yet.
10/10. At least I am only dealing with it so that we could later shut it down for good.1 -
So I've just updated a chrome extension on an android tablet, with regex from my bed, also got said chrome extension running on said tablet...
Technology is getting good
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