I'm the only programmer for my employer. Today I finished a GUI and engine to let our managers easily post annoucments to our TVs.
Nothing crazy; PHP login screen, some forms, small database, and the app to run on the TVs.
When I told my manager it was up and running she asks "Since you can build that, can you start working on a tool to run voice analytics off of our agents phone calls?".
Sure.. I'll get right on that.. Follow up with me in 4 years.

Project manager: I thought you said you made sure it was live today! I'm going to have to explain that you're the main issue with why it isn't live to management!

Me: have you cleared your cache?.... (long silence)

I swear it's the new "have you tried turning it off and then on again".

TLDR; funny revenge prank from my manager

So yesterday (April 2) I decided to prank my manager about me resigning (I've been working with them for 4 years) I wrote a legit looking resignation letter. (No signature) and at the back page it has a small font "April fools".

I asked my junior to help putting it on my managers desk since I was working from home. When my manager saw it he immediately had a meeting with my technical lead. he didnt notice the april fools at the back so I sent him a short email to look at the back and he laughed.

Come today, I recieved an email from our it team with the subject "POST RESIGNATION PROCEDURES FOR JUNNERS". It has some legit looking contents as well as a hyperlInk for a resignation checklist.

It felt like im having a mini heart attack since I thought it was legit. When I opened the hyperlink I was shocked.

I love my job 😂

Storytime!

Manager: Hey fullstackchris, the maps widget on our app stopped working recently...

Dev: (Skeptical, little did he know) Sigh... probably didn't raise quota or something stupid... Logs on to google cloud console to check it out...

Google Dashboard: Your bill.... $5,197 (!!!!!!) Payment method declined (you think?!)

Dev: 😱 WTF!?!?!! (Calls managers) Uh, we have HUGE problem, charges for $5000+ in our google account, did you guys remove the quota limits or not see any limit reached warnings!?

Managers: Uh, we didn't even know that an API could cost money, besides, we never check that email account!

Dev: 🤦‍♂️ yeah obviously you get charged, especially when there have literally been millions of requests. Anyway, the bigger question is where or how our key got leaked. Somewhat started hammering one of the google APIs with one of our keys (Proceeds to hunt for usages of said API key in the codebase)

Dev: (sweating 😰) did I expose an API key somewhere? Man, I hope it's not my fault...

Terminal: grep results in, CMS codebase!

Dev: ah, what do we have here, app.config, seems fine.... wait, why did they expose it to a PUBLIC endpoint?!

Long story short:

The previous consulting goons put our Angular CMS JSON config on a publicly accessible endpoint.

WITH A GOOGLE MAPS API KEY.

JUST CHILLING IN PLAINTEXT.

Though I'm relieved it wasn't my fault, my faith in humanity is still somewhat diminished. 🤷‍♂️

Oh, and it's only Monday. 😎

Cheers!

Don't BS your managers or peers about your understanding of a topic.

It is okay to not know something. It is not okay to pretend that you do.

Finally decided to quit from my current job. Fuck it. They still don't understand that an estimate is an approximation. They still don't understand that I have to fix all the shit made by all the contractors they hire and pay much more than me to implement solutions that work only until they leave the building, something that many barely understand but pretend to be experts in. I quit because of the managers that have no clue about what's happening although I stress them to make changes.

Should I care less about the product an just ship shit? Should I just do my tasks first and stop really helping others but pretend to do so?

Fuck it. I've tried to get it right they want it wrong but in a nice box. I'm an engineer not a fucking magician.

Watching a cookery program and it made me think it must be hard being a chef.

Then it made me think that being a web developer is a bit like cooking.

You have your ready meal equivalent with WordPress and Wix.

You have your cook at home kits with front-end frameworks like bootstrap and foundation.

You have your recipes and ingredients with package managers like npm and JavaScript modules.

Then you have your own home made cooking using vanilla js, CSS and HTML made to your own liking.

Just like being a good chef, being a good web developer is about knowing what ingredients and methods to include, but also what to leave out, to get the best result!

Disabling pasting into a password field in 2020 with password managers, is retarded. That's it that's the rant. Doesn't matter if you think password managers are good or not. Its still retarded that there's a 40 something year old dumbfuck manager who told a web designer at EA to disable pasting into a fucking password field because he was dumb enough to think it stopped hackers or some shit like that.

The strangest place I've ever coded... I woudn't say it was the strangest, but definitely the least expected?

The hospital's recovery room after my second child.

I was working at/in Hell at the time (see previous rants concerning API Guy and the asshole salesman CEO). Said salesman douchebag ceo bossman had no recollection of me being expecting, going to the hospital, or even why I was there (and if he did, he wouldn't have cared at all). He still insisted I work on his shit features because they were so important for his ever-so-important client and their new signups that they were going to do anyway. I loathe him so fucking much.

Anyway, the feature in question was pretty tiny: during the new client onboarding process, if the client came from a specific affiliate link, the frontpage should change to reflect that affiliate's branding -- different background, a custom header, etc. It was pretty easy to do, though I made certain he didn't know that. During an hour while everyone else was asleep (and while I wasn't passing out from exhaustion), I pulled out my macbook air and built his stupid feature next to my hours-hold newborn.

Did I get any appreciation for that? Sure! He showed appreciation by not yelling at me for a few days. But only because he thought the feature was difficult and that I got it done quickly, not because anything else was difficult. Asshole.

Yes, I told him several times before and several times more afterward. I don't know what goes though his head or how it even works, but it didn't seem like a big deal to him, and he kept forgetting, or maybe he just pretended to listen like he always did. Fucking asshole apparently never heard of maternity leave. I could rant and swear and curse and fume and rage about him for years 🤬 I can't believe I was so excited when I netted that job.

But anyway, building the feature was actually kind of relaxing. I organized and wrote the entire project myself, so working with it was a pleasure, and it was an easy change that I could abstract nicely and cleanly. I totally didn't mind doing it, and actually kind of enjoyed it. I just hated who I was doing it for, and that he didn't fucking care. Used and abused? absolutely. I hope he dies in the most painful, gruesome way possible. Spaghettification might not even be awful enough

FUCKING PROJECT MANAGERS.

FOR THE LAST TIME, YOUR ALTERNATIVE IS UNUSABLE As explained the original proposal, and in comments THAT YOU FUCKING REPLIED TO AND AGREED WITH, the thing you want to use WILL NOT WORK. WHY ARE YOU SUGGESTING IT AGAIN?

FUCK YOU, YOU HAIRY-ARSED TWERP.

Also, dfox can we please have fucking anonymous rants!

Manager: Why are we missing our deadlines?

Me: Cause we don't own any of the codebase that we work on and have to literally beg to other team for code reviews and deployments, for which it takes long mail chains and meetings. An even before that we(devs) have to explain to them what/why are we doing things, because our Product managers are a bunch of NoGood AHoles. And after all that we finally do some development, in whatever measly time we have left.

Manager: I know all that, tell me why are we missing our deadlines?

German gov contractor interview.
1 interview went fine, test project went fine, then they told me all looks good and they'll fly me in so I can meet HR in person.

Flew up to Germany and there are solution architects and project managers in the room questioning me about C++ although it was about a java position.

Then told me that I'm no fit for them as their java devs need to be rock solid in C++ to make communication between departments easier. What the...

PM : Have you finished the login issues?
Me, junior dev: No mister.
PM: Why not? You're going to delay the sprint.
Me: The other PM told me not to do it.

When you're the only dev in a project with two managers, life suddenly feels like you're back to 5 years old with your parents arguing all the time.

Manager: IT and I have decided that you will not be doing any rewriting of the legacy code. We paid a lot of money for it and throwing it away would be impossible. Instead you will create a “config file” that will customize the legacy code behaviour to whatever spec we need. IT said this would be possible and would be a very simple way of operating everything going forward. That way no future code needs to be written or maintained, it’s just a matter of changing this “config file” to match our needs.

Dev: Nobody in IT codes though.

Manager: Yes but they work with config files all the time. If you need to be shown how they work just ask them.

Dev: I know how they work it ju—

Manager: Good!! So that should speed things up quite a bit. See this is why developers need managers.

Dear sales team please stop promising the customer stuff that doesn't exist within the system and then promising them dates for getting said functionality without discussing it with the product team let alone the development team. Also repeating 'but I promised the customer they'd have it by august' will not make 6 months of development work fit into that time frame!

Dev gets hold of me, says my service is down in QA. Works if he hits it locally, works via Postman, but via the QA app server it gives a 401.

I’m like, look, if it works everywhere else, there’s something wrong on your side in QA.

He insists, no, I must help him, and begins CCing all the managers telling them this system has been down for days.

So I eventually climb into his system, check the credentials they’re using in the QA environment, and sure enough, the password is wrong.

Girlfriend: There are so many passwords to remember, man. What's my amazon password, baby?

Me: Just use a password manager?

Girlfriend: That sort of thing exists?

!dev

lol I keep getting in trouble over people taking secondhand-offense, and managers keep bringing up the same instances like I’m somehow at fault.

Look, if Alice says something to Bob, and Carol hears it and gets offended on Bob’s behalf, but Bob doesn’t? Carol should jump off a bridge.

The balls some managers must have to think that this is going to be an acceptable price.

I also find it hilarious that a $2 adblocker can fuck this in the ass.

Managers on Slack at 08:30: Hey frontendJunior, can you accept that meeting for 09:00?

frontendJunior: * No response *

Managers: * Clueless why nobody would see a ping literally 30 minutes before a meeting *

Fullstackclown, watching it all unfold: lol 🤡

Photoshop,...

because why use an:

IDE / editor,
terminal,
SASS/LESS compiler,
package managers,
git,...

when you can make your website as a photo, slice it up and export to html. EASY PEAZY

[14 dependencies]

"Geez this project has a lot of dependencies. I know, I should use a package manager!"

[15 dependencies]

We have a Miro collaborative whiteboard where product managers map functionality and user flows.

It currently has 89442 post-its & arrows.

I'm happy that Twitter employees just up and left when Elon Musk tried to bully them into working 100-hour weeks or have them leave the company. (According to what I read online).

It's not about the downfall of Twitter, but the employees showing the world that they can get better jobs elsewhere, if they are pushed over the edge.

I hope it sends a message to all douchebag CEOs and managers around the world that do the same kinda thing.

Managers: fullStackClown!!!! The image uploader on the dashboard at <insert 3rd party service here> isn't working!!!!!

fullStackClown: Yeah? What do you want me to do about it?

Managers: Well, fix it!

fullStackClown: ... * sigh * Well, in case you didn't realize, I don't work at <insert 3rd party service here>, so... unless you want me to go work for them instead of you absolute clowns (which I dream about daily), I cannot help you further in this matter.

Managers: ...

fullStackClown: ...

Kill me. 🤡

this happens way too often in our company

PM: did you made that change I requested?
me: yeah, its on the live server now, why?
PM: I cant see it...
me: *wtf, I specially forced the JS to reload to eliminate problems with cache* could you send me a screenshot?
PM: *sends screenshot*
me: I dont get it... I can see the changes in my browser *dev feeling intensifies* ... refresh the site and try again
PM: oh... suddenly its there, ...anyway, thanks! it looks great!
me: *facepalm*

turns out our managers just dont refresh websites, they want changes to take place immediately

Not only do I write software, but now I help the managers view and understand our analytics, just like in kindergarten.

Now I'm forced to help them essentially fake data so investors are satisfied 🤡🔫

"Delete metrics X, Y, and Z for now, we don't want anyone to see them!"

"Change the label of this metric to 'unique user' views! (not total!)"

"Set all charts to cumulative so it looks like they are all up and to the right!"

Sigh.

This isn't what I signed up for.

Programming is a lot like playing video games. It challenges you to beat quests/tasks and hunt enemy bugs while providing boss levels in the form of large projects with tight deadlines and project managers who like to move the goal posts.

I raise my middle finger:

- to the past developers of this 4 year old piece of garbage project that we are maintaining, who thought that using StringBuffers to construct html documents as a Http response as a good idea

- to the bosses and managers, who keeps on giving unreasonable deadlines yet passes accountability to others.

I gave you all a Linus Torvalds style fuck you!!

That is it, I decided to resign

Colleague asked me to join devRant and I was like that is it something related to development.
But when he said NO its nice and sharing about your seniors and managers. I was like that oh I need to write so much then......
Coming with expereince in first startup as employee.
Post #1

There are many ways of development...
Test Driven Development.
Behaviour Driven Development.
Acceptance-Test Driven Development.
YOLO Driven Development.

But nothing in this world is so frustrating as...
Buzzword Driven Development.

As soon as your managers spot a new technology, it needs to be integrated...
For fucks sake... New is not always better.

Just curious, how is it like to work as a developer. I mean, as a profession and not a hobby or freelancing.

From devRant, so far I know that you work in an office, the managers and bosses are assholes, and people always write unmanageable and undocumented code.

What else is it like? Do you get to work alone or do you have to work with people? Do you stay there all day long?

I know its still going to be a while for me, but I want to know how it will be like.

When managers look at my code, it’s shit, it’s over complicated, it’s overly difficult to read, it took too long, it’s too much for a simple ticket, i handled too many edge cases, we’ll never need most of it, why did I bother making it extensible when it’ll never need to change, how dare I use “unless”, why did I bother writing all these comments, why did I update the documentation that nobody reads because it’s outdated, etc. They say I should be more like the legendary devs and push janky code quickly, and complain that I don’t have any flops (problems in prod) like those are a good thing.

When my coworkers look at my code, they say it’s clean, amazingly easy to read, a monster feature that’s somehow still a joy to review and work on, it makes their lives easier, that it does exactly what it should in all cases, that they learned something from reading it, and thank me for the comments and documentation. And marvel that I finished it so well in so little time.

Am I bragging? Not intentionally; I’ve heard these things repeatedly since I started here, and the contrast between the above is so stark.

In reality, the managers are just idiots who were promoted far above their competence, and make everything worse. (Gee, who woulda thought?) It’s just so frustrating.

Is it just me, or does nobody read their fucking email? Especially when I try explain how a bug isn't trivial to solve because its based on some shitty design decision, that the managers made, that is practically the core of the app. If YOU cant understand the logic with me explaining it to you in plain FUCKING ENGLISH, than how in the name of baby FUCKING jesus, do you expect me to communicate that to the most complicated machines that man has ever built?!? What in the actual fuck do you even do here?!? I could do your job blind-folded, with terminal access to the db, while a monkey was flinging shit at me!

Tesco.com, you deep pool of creamy baby shit. I've tried to reset my password three times already. My new password has way more entropy than your mathematically impaired rules command, but apparently using password managers is bad practice. It should be about having at least one special character, not EXACTLY one. I've got lots of uppercase characters, not PRECISELY one.

This big multi-million consulting company hired me as freelance. They did it in a hurry, because "the project already started, it is a very important client (a bank) and we need your expertise by YESTERDAY".

In the first THREE WEEKS I had meetings with their own project managers, their client's project managers, techies, sales people. No one was able to tell me what do I have to do, but:

1 - they asked me for very detailed estimates plus a release plan
2 - f**k your estimates, we need this BY JANUARY 16th

Broken app is broken again. This app is broken so often and so hard, I'm struggling to give a damn.

These fuckers need to take their shitty project, code and managers especially, and launch them into Mars

They blame us and everyone else for their shit and I'm done with it. I need to sleep and not have these fools call me at all fucking hours.

It's just sick how managers boast about how their programmers aren't getting sleep enough/at all due to nonstop coding.

That's not actually something to be proud of, CAUSE IT SHOWS HOW INEFFICIENT YOU ARE AT, I don't know... MANAGING?

Useless feature I've built?

Too many to mention. Here's #25.

Modified an existing "Are you sure..?" dialog pop-up (Yes/No buttons) to Yes/No/Cancel. Why? Managers claimed users were "accidentally" clicking 'Yes' when they should have clicked 'No' and causing all kinds of chaos, costing the company money, etc. Managers believed giving the user two chances instead of one would make it easier to avoid the problems they caused.

The meeting:
Me: "Users can click 'No', hit the 'Esc' key, or click the close 'X' button on the window, how will an extra button make it more foolproof?"
Mgr1: "It just will. Andy accidentally deleted inventory and when I asked him if an extra button would have saved them a days worth of re-counts, he said yes."
Mgr2: "Barb accidentally credited a customer $1,500. She promised me she clicked 'No', but the system credited the account anyway. An extra button would have saved us thousands of dollars!"
Me: "Um...these sound like training issues, not an extra button issue."
MyMgr: "PaperTrail, how hard is it to add an extra button?"
Dev1: "Oh yea, adding buttons is easy."
Dev2: "I can do it 5 minutes"
Dev3: "We'll save the company thousands and thousands of dollars!"
<lots of head-knodding and smiles>
MyMgr: "That settles it. PaperTrail, add the extra button!"

Users still screwed things up, but at least they couldn't blame it on not having an extra button.

Dear project managers,

Learn to use the fucking ticketing system. And by "use" I don't mean emailing IT asking them to open a ticket for you.

#GrowUpPinheads

Dear product managers,

DO NOT FUCKING DARE TO UPDATE THE FRS SHEET ONCE YOU HAVE SUBMITTED IT TO US FOR DEVELOPMENT.

You fuckers. It takes a lot of brain power to write code.

The founder of a company I worked with is convinced that if you're a founder who argues with engineers, you're a bad founder.

He believes that any engineer knows engineering stuff better than any manager. It feels like common sense. Though it's a very rare point of view among managers. He agrees and says that managers only argue with developers because of lack of confidence, megalomania or some other ego issues.

So, all our arguments with him go like this:

— %Foundername%, we should change X, here's why
— Okay, discard existing mockups and go ahead

Or like this:
— %Foundername%, we should change X, here's why
— Kiki, I tried it, here's the evidence that our current stuff works better
— Okay

It's always this two ways and never something like "I'm YoUr SupErIoR sO I'm rIgHt", the stuff I heard in companies I worked for before.

Fuck all managers who expects us to deliver a completely new feature before the holidays when in reality it would take thrice the time left until everyone is on vacation. Fuck them all with a cactus.

Why do managers always want to fucking "discuss"? If you had literally a first-grader's education in basic electronics, you could define tasks and tickets by yourself and not have to fumble around all day and fuck it up,

The headset rule. If put on, project managers, the pope and everyone should stay away the developers. If put on one ear, it is allowed to disturb if it's important. Headset off, party time.

I wonder if managers have their own rant app/community?

They'd probably give it some long pointless name, though, like Management Policy Execution Helper or something.

My company is providing cloud infrastructure to our customers. For research purposes we are running a little openstack cloud in our laboratory datacenter were we can test stuff before implementing it in the productive environment.

Last week the manager asked me to shut down the cluster over night and only power on the servers when we need it. (about twice a week)

The reason: it produces too much heat.

My answer was: No.
First off thats not how cloud infrastructure works, and how about a proper climate control?

Sometimes i ask myself in which parallel universum our managers live 😑

Got it in WhatsApp...😃😂😂
I am sure you will have a laugh too

A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.

"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree".

"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.

One of the poor fellows turned to mr. Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"

Lesson: Never trust managers... They will take u to any extreme to finish their job.

And there is nothing like KIND MANAGERS 😜

Dedicated to all managers and upcoming managers 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂LOL😜😡😡

Six people(4 engineers, 2 managers) in the room, it took fucking 45 mins for daily scrum/standup meeting. Seriously, why do you want talk about every line you wrote?
I excused myself after 35 mins.

Yesterday I had an interesting interaction

- I complain about not having tickets for something, as it makes it unclear who needs to do what
- manager tries to call out on me for “not giving precise infos”
- A frustrating argument starts, ends up with manager defending himself telling we need a meeting with [other team] to sync on infos that are not clear
- meeting starts, manager starts to make a buffoon about himself
- other dev out of nowhere tells that the manager is not giving the task to him for some reason
- other manager is speechless at our manager’s incompetence

Managers.😎

I've been teaching my brother basic front-end development stuff. He's good. Seeing this, I decided to put him into a real project. So I got one, a simple front-end project. But the project managers are assholes and requesting stupid things. Thus, my brother didn't complete it before deadline. I don't know what to do now. I can't help my brother because I don't have enough time. I am very furious as I want to leave the project and fuck the manager over. What should I do?

Why is it that an issue is only critical-priority until the person who's raising the biggest fuss has to do something about it?

I was notified that a website hosted in AWS went down overnight and never came back up. I was then bombarded with email after email after email while I logged into our AWS account and poked around. I'm responsible for cloud infrastructure stuff, like VMs or virtual networking or security or whatever, not the actual applications running on said infrastructure. Once I confirmed their EC2 instance was reachable and I could login with SSH, I told them they'd have to fix their application.

They told me that they had no backend developer on their development team. I'm still getting a deluge of emails from multiple people on this team and their managers and managers' managers and so on.

"Perfectly understandable," I told them, though it was anything but. "You should probably look into obtaining one."

The emails stopped immediately. I assumed they were handling it and closed my ticket and moved on. But apparently I was wrong.

Six weeks later, the site is still down, they still have no backend dev, and I'm convinced that they were lying to me when they stressed the importance of this web app because now that it's no longer my problem, not a single person seems to care that it's still broken.

One day, I spoke to my team which yubi or nitro key to get.

Senior (s) : but what do you need it for?
Me (m) : for encryption. And securing our password managers. Stuff, I guess.
S : encryption is not gonna be a thing. It hasn't and it won't.
M : *leaves*

I've been so baffled I couldn't cope with the situation.
A few weeks later I left the company. There were too many of such people and those products.

Did anyone of you worked for a company where:

- there was a financial success
- code was clean and was enabler for fast delivery
- tests were professional
- CI/CD pipeline was working as expected
- features were developed in small chunks (few PRs per day)
- managers were trustful and were solving real issues to help you
- refactor was part of the everyday development

Is it even possible? Is there at least one company who achieved success doing the above?

I love it how managers try to act busy by going through the same mails over and over again while waiting for a new one so that they can instantly reply to it and show themselves off as "prompt" and screw us, who have to actually do some work, about not sending mails promptly and they have like this one single excel sheet opened at all times and they just make one obscure entry whenever they get an update and WOW, some of them don't even know how the fuck you spell Avro (spelt it as avero, handwritten) and oh, not to mention waste everyone's time by asking a mundane question that other managers are so eager to answer, one by one, over and over and did I mention THAT THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HALF THE PRODUCT.

I secretly wish everything at work fails because everyone is so fucking stupid every time it makes me cringe when I have to talk to someone or watch someone explaining something to me.

Everything seems to lack planning and focus, our PMS act more like clients than like managers, its a total fucking mess and I have to clean some of it this week.

It's getting so much on my nerves that I had to open my whiskey for the first time this year, damn.

DO NOT be afraid to argue with people. It doesnt matter who they are. Senior engineers, tech leads, delivery managers, if you know something is wrong make it heard. I made a point of telling my Project Manager that the current project is the worst ive ever seen. The technology is awful and we all hate the development. They need to know this stuff. And if they come to you with a deadline that you dont think you can make, say it then and there. Then they cant come back and say why isnt this done. Basically dont just do as youre told. If we needed that we would get robots to do our job. We need people who think and have opinions and make those opinions heard at the appropriate level.

Being a lead developer, I don't know if I am on the side of developers or managers.
In a product roadmap meet today, one of the developers explained the update of last week. He talked for at least 15 mins.
After that the sales lead looked at me, expecting me to explain (or basically dumb it down for her)
Me: Oh, he meant "UI improvements"
She: Oh, why didn't he say so?

I don't know who was the reason for the FacePalm 😐

Just submitted my first app to the Microsoft Store 🎉🎉

It's a simple offline password manager that also accepts other formats of data such as credit card and personal info.

Made it using WinUI 3. To prevent you from forgetting your master password, each "locker" accepts an unlimited number of passwords. If you forgot one, you can just use a different one. This is my idea to make offline password managers a little less of a hassle.

Can't wait for approval from the store!

I was working on a team with people with various employment statuses. Contractors, employees of the client, and me as a regular full time employee of the company that “owned” the contract. My HR manager gave us a presentation about our reporting structure. I had at least seven managers for different reasons across various projects.

I got a new position so needed to resign but I had no idea which managers were the ones I should notify. I looked at the org chart that the HR lady showed. I sent my resignation to five managers that would be affected by my leaving. Unknown to me my project manager was actually a contracting manager hired by the client. He let his employer, the client, know that the lead dev quit.
Apparently it destabilized the contract for my employer. If I hadn’t just issued resignation they would have fired me for telling a customer about a significant internal staffing change. They didn’t fire me because the optics would have been worse for them.

Hello devRant, this is going to be my first time posting on the site.

I work for a gaming community on the side, and today one of the managers asked me to implement a blacklist system into the chat and reactivate the previously existing one temporarily. This shouldn't have had any issues and should've been implemented within minutes. Once it was done and tested, I pushed it to the main server. This is the moment I found out the previous developer apparently decided it would be the best idea to use the internal function that verifies that the sender isn't blacklisted or using any blacklisted words as a logger for the server/panel, even though there is another internal function that does all the logging plus it's more detailed than the verification one he used. But the panel he designed to access and log all of this, always expects the response to be true, so if it returns false it would break the addon used to send details to the panel which would break the server. The only way to get around it is by removing the entire panel, but then they lose access to the details not logged to the server.

May not have explained this the best, but the way it is designed is just completely screwed up and just really needs a full redo, but the managers don't want to redo do it since apparently, this is the best way it can be done.

Great opportunities now as per Managers:

* Develop a chat system like Zoom
* Develop anti-virus for Coronavirus
* Develop time travel machine to stop Coronavirus at the point it started

We work in an office where we must lock our computer screens because our screens may have confidential information on them, plus you could do things as the person without taking any blame (ie sending an email).
Anyways anytime someone forgets to lock their screen we always prank them pretty hard. The greatest thing we ever did was in our latest release we had our managers buy us drinks at the pub. Well our managers left to go to the pub and one of them forgot to lock their computers. So we downloaded an image of the blue screen of death and made it full screen, unplugged his mouse and keyboard for added effect, and locked his computer. He came in the next Monday and couldn't log in because his keyboard wouldn't work. He actually called IT to bring him a new keyboard and mouse... then he unlocked his computer and freaked out with the IT guy because there was the blue screen of death. Needless to say he got a brand new computer as well as a new mouse and keyboard.

I'd call it a win win?

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS SCRUM, WHY DO MANAGERS KEEP USING IT, WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO MICROMANAGE AND MEET ARBITRARY DEADLINES THAT ARE TANGENTIAL TO THE MAIN PROJECT???!!!?!

Dear Project Managers,

If you schedule a status update meeting for the end of the week, it is NOT okay for you to stop by my desk every day and ask if the project is on track. You will get your update during the update meeting you scheduled.

KthanxBye

I'm so sick of dumb project managers, they want "updates" but then they reply with "I didn't understand any of that but it sounds like it's going well"

I literally have a PM who does it all the time, at this point I could talk to him in another language, and he'd just say "Great, sounds like its going well" then proceed to ask for updated a couple hours later *hardfacdpalm*

I NEED MY SLEEP FFS!!! It is 06:20 in the morning and I am already on the train to work because one of our managers felt the need to plan a meeting from 08:00 on monday morning to explain EXACTLY why something does not work.
Needless to say that she is no dev (or has technical know how)!
But the best part is:
THE INVITATION FOR THE MEETING WAS SEND OUT FRIDAY EVENING SO THERE IS NO PREPARATION-TIME WHATSOEVER!!!
Fuck

Today teaching the product managers what the channel in "selected for development" in Jira means.

Guess what? IT MEANS THE FEATURE IS READY TO BE DEVELOPED ON, NOT SOME HALF-BAKED CROCK POT IDEA WITH A TWO-SENTENCE DESCRIPTION DESCRIBING ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL!!!

We planted a blanket, pillow and full sized ambulatory mannequin to sleep under the desk of our software director. It was a deep desk with no visible parts showing unless you happened to look down.

After a meeting, he went into his office and sat down. About a minute later there was a very high pitched squeal and he came running out of his office to the amusement of several developers and managers outside. 😈

Over 3 years since my last rant... you might think lifes been like.... 🍹😎

It hasn't!

But, it's good to be back here with fresh new material. 🍿

Buckle up... "Where we're going, we don't need..." managers!

I'm of Indian descent and I just stepped into a meeting where some American project managers couldn't understand tech support 's accent. it wasn't them though, because I couldn't understand the guy's thick Indian accent either.

Fucking non technical managers and their shitty clients to whom they suck their tiny weiners need to realise that I cannot reorder elements every 10 minutes to the shape of their fart comming out of their ass, test it, deploy it, trigger webhook, clear cloudflare cache, and meanwhile be sure that it's written in quality manner for future upkeep with commits that have sense.Hope deadline driven development dies in hell where it belongs

Engineering managers will say things like -
- "I'll let the team decide what's best for them" & "code quality is our primary goal" -
but then they'll shoot down any & all requests to go back to some old piece of code and refactor/clean it, because of "deadlines".
Hypocrites, all of them.

A friend shared his feelings with me this morning.

During the majority of my career, I've been the stereotypical pissed off guy with earphones in mashing away at his keyboard.

During lunch hours, I absolutely love listening to other pissed off devs. Their tales of buggy Microsoft products, oblivious project managers, dangerously unqualified directors, and severely disabled bosses are often the only thing that put a smile on my face in a workday, and here in Tokyo a workday is often your whole day. I don't feel there's anything wrong with it - the targets of their abuse often really are leeching tons of money while contributing little to nothing, so I feel like they deserve the abuse.

However, I don't like it when devs trash-talk other devs. I sympathize with those guys, even if they wrote bad code. I know writing good code is really, really hard, and I know that they were trying to do it under extremely difficult circumstances (in an office). If they're junior I sympathize even more because they're often better than I was when I had the same amount of experience.

So in conclusion, don't hate your fellow dev. Don't let hatred control you and poison your well-being. Direct your hatred where it belongs, at project managers.

Dear project managers.

Go fuck yourselves, stop hindering me in my ability to do my job. My job is to get the job done, I know exactly what exists where. If I request something, fucking get me it you useless cunts.

You're wasting time and resources with your lack of technical knowledge and making life difficult for the rest of us.

Sincerely, Frustrated Developers everywhere.

Business Intelligence, the most confused market technology has to offer. (Perhaps rivaled only by machine licking. Learning, whatever)

Step 1: develop a product that can replace a company's database guys. Make it cost more than the database guys.

Step 2: Show off product to managers using images of the product that the managers will love, but never have the skills to do themselves.

Step 3: Fucking obviously the managers buy it.

Step 4: Fire half the database staff.

Step 5: Managers give the BI tools to their remaining database guys ANYWAYS and instruct them to use it

Step 6: Database guys spend a month learning the new tool because management "wants to use it too".

Step 7: Database guys now use this new system for reports but have trouble using it for complex use cases, as it was designed for simple use cases. Meanwhile, management will never, ever touch the tool again.

Step 8: Hire new guys for reporting, because the remaining database guys can't complete both their normal tasks *and* the reports.

Step 9: Database guys are expensive. Go to step 1.

Junior engineer asking managers on Slack about prioritisation..

Junior eng: Hey managers, I have these tasks A & B lined up and some other type of work... Is it ok if I finish A by Weds and B by the end of week or should it be done sooner? Also, is the order fine or should I prio B first?

*silence for hours*

Random dev feeling bad for junior getting no response chips in: Hey, you are doing great, that order makes sense to me and let me know if you need any guidance or have questions!

Junior dev: Thaanks and will do!

*another hour goes by*

Manager: Hi team. I have asked other engineer X to do task B tomorrow.

what the fuck. at least answer the fucking question and say it needs to be done sooner. felt bad for poor junior here. :/

I am glad to see all the pent up anger toward project managers. I quietly rage against them daily. I have even made up acronyms like "LIS" for "like I said", "DBR" for "Drive by requests" and "OSR" for "one sentence requirements". I write them on my white board and the don't know what it means.

Okay, I'm interning at a government institution & boy let me just tell you... mmmh... A FUCKING MESS!

So I'm tasked with developing a HR system that the whole company should eventually use. I tell them I'm not familiar with the open source technologies they'd like me to use, they tell me no worries, you can develop a prototype with a tech stack that you're familiar with. Also, they tell me that they don't quite have the requirements from HR so what I can do for my prototype is just develop something "general" that works according to their "idea".

Being the good intern I am, I develop quite a good functioning prototype & present it to the team who then present it to the managers.

Finally we're all called in for a final meeting with the managers & HR, and guess what? The requirements for the system are different. Almost 90% of the features we built into the prototype need to change. Also, the system must use open source technologies. The managers promise to send a detailed requirements specification document, with sample data. I think this is a great idea as there's still a lot I don't understand. I expected this to happen, so I soon start to redesign afresh, this time trying as hard as possible to consider open source technologies within my plans.

But noooo... My team wants me to "finish" the system!

"Finish" what system, I ask? That was a prototype!

"Just tweak the functionality you built to meet the new requirements".

WTF!

We don't even have the actual requirements specification document, so I'll still be coding blindly. Also, the whole system needs to be re-built using open source technology!

Instead of pushing me to develop a system blindly, with no requirements, how about you push HR to tell you exactly what they need and how it should work first!?

I'm honestly exhausted with the false sense of urgency from my team!!

Jesus, using vim in browser is such a beautiful thing, thought it's pointless.

Also, FUCK managers/bosses that change their technologies for no fuckin reason.
I didn't spend 1+ month to learn .NET core, which is a fine piece of tech and you suddenly come and say that we should move to PHP because the new guys you hired are PHP devs and don't know a single line of .NET.
I DONT GIVE A FUCK.
TAKE YOUR PHP AND SHOVE IT UP TO YOUR ASS.

Corporation.
Meeting with middle level managers.
Me - data scientist, saying data science stuff, like what accuracy we have and what problems with performance we managed to solved.
Manager 1: Ok, but is this scrum?
Manager 2: No they're using kanban.
Manager 3: That's no good. We should be using DevOps, can we make it DevOps?

So yea, another great meeting I guess..

It kills me that a lot of people on here choose Linux distros based solely on desktop environments. Its Linux guys, you can make it whatever you want. You should decide between distros because of package managers or frequent updates or active communities, not because of how pretty it is out of the box. You can make it as pretty as you want.

When I started off working on this particular project under a new technical manager, I used to love working overtime because the work and the problem we were trying to solve was really interesting. My technical lead was also a really awesome dude and I was able to learn a lot of things under his guidance. A couple of times, I didn't even mind working on the weekends too in case we wanted to meet some strict deadlines. I wanted to make sure that my team's brand name does not get spoiled and we deliver on what we promise.

It was all good until all the management started taking our overtime and weekend work for granted. It took me some time to realize this. Now it almost became a part of standard expectations. It was getting irritating. Managers could see this uneasiness but chose to do nothing.

The work increased, so did the team and the communication channels. The newbies in the team now worked overtime and on weekends. And everybody started acting as if it was normal. That's when it stuck me that I am responsible for inculcating this unsustainable and life sucking culture in the team. I stopped working overtime and started questioning the set deadlines, often asking them to postpone things. Management got furious and changed their focus on the newbies who'd work overtime, often rewarding them to reinforce the behavior.

I tried undoing it, asking managers that the team will not work on weekends. There was friction and managers would agree but the old bad habited cultural spore would pop up tume and again and the team would go back to the regular overtime and working weekends thing. As more time passed, the managers would circumvent me and start talking to others in the team, giving them work and deadlines directly because I started to say 'No' when I felt the need to do so. I tried to protect some folks in the team who would not be able to speak up but were frustrated. I started caring less about the team's brand and more about colleagues who were suffering due to such unethical (and illegal?) practices being normalised in the team.

Trying again and again to get back to 'normal', I failed everytime. Unsure of how far I'll be able to go on with this without getting severly burnt in the process and seeing no respite, I decided to move on. I put in my resignation two weeks back and want to start a fresh in another company.

I feel I am responsible for bringing this into the team without realizing the repurcussions of my working overtime. Staying in the team for more than 3.5 years, I could actually feel how managers have no fucks about your personal life and work life balance (despite showing oh so much concern about the well being of my family) and would reward anyone who works as per their whims and fancies. I wish I never get to work for a management such as this.

I’ve come to recognise a simple truth about why companies are pushing for returning to full time work from office, is this.

There’s a lot of middle managers who have been taught to synonymize work with misery. Like a Freudian dog, they’ve learnt to believe that work happens whenever they see someone being miserable in front of a computer.

That’s why they want to see in person all the non verbal cues of a programmer experiencing misery. Without it, they don’t get the reward response of thinking that work is happening, even if the work is literally happening faster from home.

Everyone is remote working and executives keep telling non-technical to push their communications into shared channels in Microsoft Teams.

It forces analysts and managers to ask questions plainly. They are getting developer input quickly so aren’t wasting time on in-person meetings. The higher ups see how little many produce. Developers are busy churning out software as usual and responding to technical questions.

Our CEO said something in a channel that suggested he is considering downsizing the management and adding more developers. 😱 The response was that analysts and managers packed the developer schedules with online meetings and are trying to initiate more documentation work.

My managers are getting micro managed, is it wrong to feel good about this?

Fuck product managers.

Just the other day I was discussing our progress so far and this product manager shows us the timeline and his vision for the project.
Ngl, I haven’t seen such an ambitious fuck for so long. He doesn’t know how to do anything other than fucking spreadsheets. The only problem with his plan is that we don’t even have the team, just 2 pity devs carrying it.

I still don’t get it, why the fuck would a company with 2 devs need a product manager?

I created some test entities specifically for our staging site. Written in all capitalized letters in the BIG TITLE of the entity I included DO NOT DELETE. This is very clearly visible in the CMS. What's the first thing the content managers do?

You guessed it.

I guess if plain English doesn't work, I'll have to use Kindergarten rules and put a custom lock on them so they can never be deleted.

Muad'Dib fullstackchris can already predict the future, in a few weeks: "hey!!!! fullstackchris, I can't delete these test entities!!!!! whats wrong with the system?!?!"

sigh...

Fuck, I only need to hire ONE fullstack developer who fucking knows what he's talking about and not trying to weasel their way into this job. I tell them that there are no annoying managers, no KPI, no bullshit, I thought this is kinda valuable, but no

How hard can it be?

This whole programming profession sucks! Programmers suck! Managers suck! Companies suck! Products suck!

Why is it so hard to organize your stupid code at least a bit?! No, it’s not deadlines, just write a block of code and give it a meaningful name, a function, a method, a comment, so many options, so little fucks given. Give things a meaningful name instead of whatever came to your mind that moment. There’s no excuse! No, just leave it to the next guy, and he’ll leave his trash for another one. And then we complain and make memes about it. Fuck you all!

There’s no purpose or vision of products, managers sweep problems under a rug, executives do whatever they do, as long as some money is pouring in, just keep pedaling semi-mindlessly. Spin the wheel you little hamsters until you drop, there’s enough hamsters out there.

It’s just a clusterfuck of small, selfish interests and egos, a mud of meaningless and unnecessary problems that need not be there.

It’s not the workload, it’s the stress! The stress of bullshit, and constant problems that can be avoided if everyone did their job at least half-professionally. Not just programmers, everyone!

How many project managers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'll just schedule a meeting to discuss the lighting strategy.

All sysadmins, PLEASE! For the love of God just block port 21 in any direction from anywhere, going anywhere.. FTP needs to die.. The f**king protocol predates tcp/ip for God's sake! We need to stop project managers using it, it's a nightmare!!

PM's? Like private messages? No idea, still haven't figured it out. There's still idiots from technical chats sliding in, often with a question that belongs in the very same chat they came from. My Telegram name has now literally "(No PM!)" in it, and a bio that says in all caps "DON'T FUCKING PM ME", yet there are STILL people that don't get it. September never ended, did it?

... Oh. Project managers.

How do you handle narcissist managers?

Who look at you not as human beeing but as a thing to exploit for personal gain? Sure there's the business side (capitalism) but the human side of it bothers me.

I was reading a book and came across this :
"
What if you were a doctor and had a patient who demanded that you stop all the silly hand-washing in preparation for surgery because it was taking too much time? Clearly the patient is the boss; and yet the doctor should absolutely refuse to comply. Why? Because the doctor knows more than the patient about the risks of disease and infection. It would be unprofessional (never mind criminal) for the doctor to comply with the patient. So too it is unprofessional for programmers to bend to the will of managers who don’t understand the risks of making messes.
"
It's fair point but at the same time we have to comply with the manager in order to have a raise/promotion. What do you think guys ?

Managers should not communicate with a customer then sit on it for a week or two before passing it to a Dev as high priority/fix it now. They also should not say our 'team' is working on it when that team is one person who is also busy with other tasks.

Why do business and systems analyst even project managers try to give estimates for how long development should and will take? I hate how people who don't code and do any real work try totell me how long it would take me.

Anyone out there like agile but find that project managers make it horrible. It is kind of like when you are having an interesting conversation then a bore comes around and overtakes the cool conversation.

!rant, probably, even though kind of yes, but not overt

i just realized something: software doesn't take lot of effort and time to change because it would be difficult to make a change.

it takes lot of effort and time to change because making the change is easy, but inspecting and debugging what other things the change affects takes most of the time and effort.

it would be nice if project managers were able to wrap their head around this.

tl;dr i can make the change right now in 5 minutes, but it's going to take me an hour to check if me changing that didn't break something else.

Being a developer is a fucking struggle and no one fucking understands it.

Trying to keep up with new technologies and working with Project Managers that wants stuff to be delivered in no time is what makes you regret your career sometimes..

Maaan I FUCKING HATE THIS JOB!!!

Managers interrupting you to complain that X takes too much time instead of letting you work on X to finish it in time.

So you have an organization that flirts with scrum and wants to be agile. You have non-crossfunctional teams who don't know what agile is. You have product owner who doesn't want to do backlog, but instead acts like project manager and asks for statuses and assigns tasks to peple. He wants the teams to find out what needs to be done and fill the backlog themselves - and then raport to him. You have business owers who noone knows who they are. You have project managers, who don't fit the whole scrum hierarchy. These project managers insist calling scrum masters "team leaders". Also these project managers think scrum is silly and don't want anything to do with it. And then you have higher program management that think this whole scum thing is better than sliced bread and everything is going just dandy!

Oh yeah, also highest organization management thinks that we are on the right track. We just need be more agile but less agile and work more efficiently whitout really saying, what the hell are we supposed to do.

Basically every day is like going to the zoo. Without the fun part.

Fuck the managers !! Fucking Fuck Fuck !!!
I am in manual testing for 3 years. Wanted to move in to automation since 2016 January !
They kept delaying.
While waiting I kept autating stuffs and making utilities to use for everyone.
Recently automated a 5 yr old manual process.
Made an utility that can perform a 5 hours manual activity in 5 mins.
Our automation team had a vacancy.
The managers were asked to nominate names who could fill the spot from the current manual team.
They didn't suggested my name.
I am not bragging but I am the only person in the team who nows Selenium , UFT , Java , Python even though being in the manual testers.
The team is going to hire someone from the outside.
I just got to know it all this today.

These bastards should die in hell !!!!
I hate these bastards !!!!

fuck javascript
node.js module system sucks. Like its module system is trash, who will want to download some fucking 1GB worth of packages to create a new project.
People keep on just creating other package managers. Yarn is good enough because it caches your packages but still, i am just from deleting some 2.2Gb node modules from my computer and just whyy ?
An area where internet connection us shitty and expensive it is just not very well.
Fuck javascript is everywhere so i have to use it,

typescript just adds another layer to the heavy lifting. You write some typed code to 'reduce bugs' but you generate much more heavy code. I could write in 1kb js file but i end up getting some 3kb js because what - i used typescript-ügvjpiahdjb

fuck javascript

This might be a long post. I need some serious advice.

For the past 6-7 months, My friend and I have been working with these two guys "Managers" on their startup idea. He managed the backend and I was managing the 2 frontend systems for them. The Managers are non-technical.

For the longest time, the Managers were very stubborn on how they wanted things to be implemented in my code or how they wanted something to look. Initially, this was not a bother as we thought that their experience bought some insight that we lacked, but after changing dozens of things back to how we originally made them, we started feeling unhappy. I specifically was more affected by this as most of their changes were related to the front end.

This caused a lot of rifts between us and sometimes led to heated conversations. I won't say that it's all on them. I do have an attitude issue. But then, it's the same with them.

Other than that, one of the Managers is very condescending. He used to talk badly, discredit my work and even say things like "Ohh, so you can't do it" for things that I said will take too much time to implement. This was seriously affecting my mental health.

Nevertheless, we completed the system, which was originally supposed to be just an MVP, over the course of these months and now have our sites up and running with almost 100-200 daily hits. But because it's an e-commerce site, that too with a very different model, the revenue has not started yet.

Yesterday, one of the Managers called me and in so many words told me that I should exit, because of my attitude, with my current equity which is just 3% which amounts to nothing as the company has no value right now. On top of that, I, an idiot, had not taken any remuneration for the first 4 months.

Although I too want to leave, now that I have seen their real face and also because of my mental health. I feel that the system I have made is worth more than 3% equity, way more than that. One of them is a multi-featured seller dashboard to manage products, finances, orders, and a ton of complex features like bulk uploads using excel, image cropping for products, and region selection. The other is a highly optimized dynamic site using Nuxt which is used as the store, with SEO good enough to often list it as one of the top results of various google searches. I'll drop the dev links in the comments if you are interested.

But I don't know how to go about it. I do have complete control over my code and have not signed any formal contract with them, but I feel bad about jeopardizing the company at this stage. Not to mention all that work will just go to waste as well.

Corporations... huge, old, monolithic
We want you to automate but will do everything we can to prevent you from getting resources to do it. Restricting policies, decisions by managers on "what they do not want". No procedures on how to achieve the result within policies. Half the business lives in a gray zone and sea of policy exceptions.
We finally decided to get at least Azure subscription instead of trying to develop similar framework internally, but wE DoNT WANt YOu to dEPlOY thERE As WE Don't cOnSIDEr it sAfE ENough.
Like pissing against wind.

I am not good with kids. I know I know. Last week or so, my managers kid thought it would be a good idea to hijack my meeting. I was sharing my screen and on full blown explanation mode, only to realise after my explanation, it was the kid who was looking at my face and not the boss man.
God I panicked. I was like 'Who the hell are you?'
--------*INSERT AWKWARD SILENCE HERE *---------

!dev
This was a long time ago when I was a pizza delivery guy (summer job). One of my managers could barely handle any pressure. He would often lose it during the dinner rush. He was disorganized and never gave clear directions to his team. One night he totally blew up. He threw a large pizza shovel across the kitchen. It went crashing into the oven in a loud bang. This was in full view of customers on the other side of the counter and several of us workers, all in shock.
It was my last night there as I had handed in my resignation letter two weeks prior. Boy was I glad to get out of there

I hate IT managers, how on earth some become ant form of manager is beyond myself.

I have a server with a hardware firewall. A client, based in the UK, with French offices is saying the server blocking their new French IP. I white-listed their IP address, still no luck.

That was a week ago.

After 4 international phone calls and nearly 30 emails I resolved the "issue".

Their so called "IT Manager" sent over the wrong IP. Instead of it starting with 46.* he sent over an IP starting 42.*, which was in fact being correctly blocked.

Suffice to say I charged the client a lot of money for the wasted time and international rate calls.

On Friday. Client and Project Managers arranged a meeting and wanted me to be there. Client said the meeting will be max 15 Minutes but it was around 2 hours. This client project was due the following week. I was happy because everything was done and excited that the client might be coming down to say how awesome the work was.

The table turned around. They came changed the designed and functionalities. The client said, it won't take long to do it, right? and my Project Manager said No! No! No! don't worry its very easy thing. It will take him around 1 day to do it, it's just all cosmetic changes.

It took me more than a week to get it done, test again, check on browsers. The client was pissed and they fired us. Guess who was blamed for it?

I can't stand talking to clients on the phone!

One of my first freelancing clients used to talk to me for an hour at a time. I really wish I could have billed him by the hour, it took him twice as long to explain anything and then I'd have to get back in the mindset for what I was working on. The phone is just so disruptive.

I'm so much happier working for a company where the project manager deals with the client's and product managers.

I'm learning today from the big brain managers that elements on our mobile app are "clickable".

Truly amazing, I wonder which of our users are plugging a mouse into their phones and using it to click around.

incompetent 🤡

Note for managers,
If your intern doing 6hours task in 3 hours doesn't mean he is ready for next task.
It is fucking mean that he did his task give him time to take some breath.

I recently joined to a company. I am recent grad. I was getting KT by my Manager during team on-boarding.

The manager showed me the tech stack they use for the application. It had the given logo.

My manager read it like this - "We also use Adobe here ....."

I muted my mic and laughed so hard, and now I am searching for jobs at some better company- where managers don't confuse AngularJS logo with Adobe.

Why are product managers always so irritating. I mean i understand they can't code, but then why do they have to be so nosy about status updates.

Its not like if i show progress to you it'll get done quicker. In fact more likely than not it will get delayed. Because you'll start realising things you haven't really thought about.

I somehow feel they are there to only make the entire environment just much more frustrating.

IT managers that ask me parameters to connect via FTP to their servers...

Why is it so hard for people (especially managers) to learn to work smarter not harder....

FIX THE GODDAMN PROBLEM CORRECTLY... THE FIRST TIME SO WE DON'T HAVE TO KEEP FIXING ITS BLOWUPS ON WEEKENDS....

AND STOP HIRING MONKEYS THAT JUST KNOW TO PRESS BUTTONS RATHER THAN DESIGNING FULLY FUNCTIONAL SOLUTIONS THAT DON'T BLOW UP OR LEAVE A TRAIL OF SHIT BEHIND THAT I NEED TO DECIPHER N CLEANUP....

Ah the managers have come up with a new term we need to implement: "SEO Doubleposting"

I must bow down to their technical genius and prowess, I've never heard it before, it must be high tech term beyond my 10+ years of being a developer.

Why is it so funny to me that there’s a certification for project managers called PMP?

"Do not lose time improving the data pipelines from our ERP, it is about to be replaced!"
Then suddenly there is a week of bugs and stress because the non-improved data pipeline can't handle new situations.
"Just fix the bugs! It is all about to change anyway!"
Repeat. And repeat.

Fuck, I hate when managers think that there are such things as "temporary fixes" in ERPs. Or that companies can ever migrate to another ERP. Those things are forever, as Cheetos dust on your bowels.

can there just ONCE be a FUCKING react native library that works as it is FUCKING documented?

but NOOOO, gotta always sift through the absolute shit pile that is GitHub issues threads digging out arcane horseshit to make the stupid shit work just like the little managers want

on and on into the circus enternity

Objective-C is an awful programming language that nobody should ever use for anything.
Also you dont know how important unit tests are until you have to deliver an enterprise level application without them.
Biggest one Ive learned recently, managers will promise you the earth to keep you around as long as possible, and they will go back on every promise and call it a "change in priority"

Oh lord it's finnaly happened, I'm almost tempted to leave my retail job after 4 years, fucking head office and lazy ass managers im driving me fucking insane, they give you a 2 person job and complain when you don't have it all done by lunch.

Why must finding an enjoyable job be so fucking hard!

My biggest problem with designers is when they have no empathy for the platform(s). Here's a design that I made based on my love of graphic design and Photoshop. Over to you to just slap it on iOS, Android and web. Ends up as a substandard result everywhere.

And, of course, the Photoshop designs look great to managers.

Started further developing an app (that I had left dormant) for retail outlets in my town. Spoken to the managers and they said they like my idea, and want to trial run it and then if it works properly, they want to start having the other branches around the country use it.

Now to sit by ass behind my screen, and finish developing my app (meaning tackling the many bugs that made me pull my hair out last time)

Fucking managers
Now I know why companies with shitty managers don’t grow

Me conversing with my senior as to how to make one of our functions scalable which around 10k devs would be using.

Manager walks in

Manager: how’s function x going

Me: great , will be done soon

Manager: you need to finish it by today

Me: can’t do it , too many sub functions need to be reconfigured( which was his job)

Manager: take *insert some managers asslicker’s name*’s help

Me: okay

We will finish it by today , but everybody know how “robust” the output will be

P.S. I didn’t argue because I’ve done that before and it’s like hitting your head on a wall. If you have read my previous rants, you would know

I see a lot of complaining of managers talking about blockchains, but I would like to know if someone actually had to make a blockchain system because of managers and for what purpose? It seems to be completely useless for most of the cases

Got a promotion and had a loose definition of what my new tasks were. I got overwhelmed with being the go-to for project and account managers, and 75% of our devs, on top of my own work I had to complete for clients.
Eventually I wrote up a 2 page document of things I had to deal with daily/weekly and how I don't have time to do my work, so why should I even bother to do it.
We got it resolved, my boss took some of the tasks off my plate (like training the new hires) and allows me to work from home whenever I need to finish up work.

Why don't managers/team-leads take into account the time that you get stuck on something that's stupid to ask but it eats up your hours :(

An annoying type of colleague: the kind that refuses to cooperate and insists on doing shit their own way because they have done it that way for years and they become little crybabies whenever someone new tries to work with them.

Somehow managers accept their baby-like behavior because they've been producing output. However, like my Business Processes professor said: "Don't focus on output".

It's just annoying trying to work with these guys.

Manager: "are you doing this obscure process that I laid out months ago with no plan or follow through?"

Me: "no, my other 3 managers said they didn't see any value in it, not sure how to keep everyone happy"

Manager: "that's not what we want! You need start doing this obscure process now!"

We have 20 engineers total in my company and I have 4 managers. Office Space was a documentary.

I worked with this hack of a backend dev that was too lazy to add a complex(ish) object to our CMS tool. His solution?

One giant-ass text box with the label "put JSON here".

If tech people were using it I wouldn't mind, but our poor content managers have no idea what json is. Plus like... no examples, no schema... they would have to change shit then go look at the website to see if it worked. Fucking asshole.

Plus.. I mean SHIT, MAN! This was in a Node.js tool... if you have the Json parser you could just GENERATE the respective form fields. DO YOUR JOB

Fuck inherited projects!

I was invited to work on a simple migration and integration project for a bank. Thinking it was simple and just a month long project, I accepted it.

... last August 2020.

Now, almost a year later, we have freakin gone nowhere with this project. The bank has had 5 project managers leave over the last 1.5 years that this project has been active.

And every fix I make brings in numerous other problems.

It’s so fucking insane.

No one knows who to blame.

I am currently in call with the bank with about 12 other people who are all watching me fix bugs that they find -.-

Man, some days, these fucking managers just make me want to get fucking drunk...

clueless questions, annoying fucking fake priority shit immediately asking for this and that with absolutely no planning or thinking ahead

its really like guiding kids through kindergarten some days

i want to bring some seriousness and structure to this company but some days.... man, i just am done with it

1.)
I either get way better in math, or find a good opportunity to drop out of college. Both would be equally good.

2.)
Nvidia dies the cruel death it deserves.

3.)
All DEB and RPM package-managers, get replaced by pacman.

My spouse is my project manager which is ironic since I normally seethe with anger when around project managers. It works though.

What’s your best answer to “how long will it take you to find and fix that bug?”

It drives me fucking nuts!
“I don’t know (ffs), could be ten minutes, could be ten weeks.” - that’s by default right know, but that’s not always appropriate.

You guys have maybe analogies that managers understand ?

How many managers does it take to fix a bug in production?

ERROR: Buffer overlflow at line 1

I'm genuinely shocked at the number of people I see on here bashing automated testing as a waste of time, simply because my entire career has taught me the opposite (and it's usually only non-technical managers I see who don't want to see "time wasted" writing tests.)

I'm also just as genuinely curious - what do you guys do instead? Just don't test and deal with production issues as they occur? Pass it off to a separate UAT / human-based testing department and let them sign it off? Assume that because you're using Haskell / some other discipline it'll work if it compiles?

Whenever I see someone swear, for example, 'fucking managers'. I think of fucking as a verb.
Which makes it 'managers that are fucking'. Pretty entertaining when you're bored or having a bad day. 😅

I have two managers outside of the bathroom having an impromptu meeting while I'm blowing it up.

...this is what causes psychological complexes.

When managers ask you to complete some code in an hour and it takes them 5 hours to approve the merge.

When I was a high school, I did an internship at IT department for a local "center for student guidance".

The IT department consisted of one guy that started to automate everything the first year he worked there. He ended up being low on work and got flak from people above him for not working enough. He threw all his scripts away and the bosses/managers were happy he worked more... But his work was of course slower with more mistakes.

Also, he had an excel sheet of everyone username + password. The excel file was secured with a password. When he went to the coffee machine, he never locked his computer nor the spreadsheet.

chatting on tinder with it manager, he doesn t know what 'null' is.... fucking it managers!

I read this rant on Quora. Is this true ?

“The IT industry has devolved into a gigantic ponzi scam built on exploitation and BS. Quality of solution and quality of work was replaced with a ‘Does it work now?’ approach with zero contingency.
And the fact that geeks and nerds are naive only helps the white collar crooks to exploit them as code monkeys.”

We write our feature specifications in Gherkin, so it is clear to every member of the team (even nondevs GASP!) exactly what each feature should do.

SO WHY THE FUCK, AFTER BUILDING THE FEATURE, DO I GET REVIEWS FROM THE pRoDuCt MaNaGeRs, SHOWING ME THEY WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR THE FEATURE. YOU WROTE THE FUCKING FEATURE DID YOU HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART MID THOUGHT YOU IDIOT!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SO SICK OF IT I'M SICK OF WORKING 12 HOURS ON A FRIDAY FOR YOUR STUPID SHIT

So, I'm the engineering leader of a startup. This year, the company hired new directors and with that a new CPO. We've been using Google Workspace and have all our infrastructure on GCP. We never had any trouble with Google products. We also have Google SSO configured in almost every tool out there.

Yesterday, the new CPO, sent me a request to change "just some dns" on the domain. Those "just some dns" were Microsoft 365 mx, cname and text records.

I asked him if he was planning to switch to MS.

He answered: "yes! The team (a new team of marketing) wants to use PowerPoint and Teams".

I don't know you guys, but I hate MS products. They're just bad.

So, yes, it seems that now I'm gonna waste my time switching and configuring everything with MS just because they don't know other tools that are way better than any MS product!

I tried to convince him, this wasn't a good move, but it seems my opinion equals zero at this company.

I just hate this type of product managers that always wants to reinvent the wheel to let others see that they are doing something important when they're not.

Also hate when managers make decisions without ever consulting the people that will be affected by those decisions... But I guess that's how it works in this world...

Dear every app developer or web managers/designers that can read this.

Specificly, the ones who own a android app.

If you have an old android app that is still updated from time to time.

Please, take your time for just one minute.

AND REPLACE YOUR GOD DAMN OLD "Get it on google play" BADGE WITH THE NEW ONE, PLEASE! ITS NOT THAT HARD, WHY ARE YOU GUYS NEVER UPDATE TO NEW LOGOS?!

NOT JUST OLD APPS, EVEN SOME BEW STARTUPS ARE ACTUALLY USING THE OLD BADGE, WHY OH DEAR GOD WHY! WERE YOU LIVING UNDER ECLIPSE ROCK OR SOMETHING?!?

It amuse me when managers are trying to be smart, so they pretend to understand all tech stuff but they just fool themselves and no one threat them seriously XD

To the managers and new developers.

Development, and Product Development is not a black-and-white game.

It is an entire spectrum. You cannot move to the next best version. Next best feature, or the next best app.

The only jump that you take is getting started. After that it is a walk across the entire spectrum. Things grow slowly, and steadily. Just keep an eye on the next improvement.

Study the analytics, improvise, focus your energies, and just move to the next shade.

Enough steps, and you will have what you want.

It requires planning, courage, determination, tactics, sticking together ,and above all patience.

Most importantly, get rid of the people who cannot think long, rush, and mess things up.

As much as I hate the army and what it represents, I do often wish managers served as squad leaders or officers to at least learn the basics:
- Your job is to protects your people and care for them
- All your people are equal, you do not show preferential treatment
- You are a role model, you do not badmouth a soldier in front of others

Honestly I have/hear so many bad experiences and simply can't wrap my head around having managers out there that don't understand these basic rules..

Have you ever felt like your company is just some shell company, making meaningless projects to feed someone's appetite of bossing people around so that it doesn't look bad in taxes because he's paying himself with the salary and we don't even know what's connected to what and noticing weird relationships like some workers are of the same family members, who are also project managers but your salary is okay enough to keep your mouth shut?

My crude MS Paint-like drawing I made when bored in a meeting.
It was of sexy squidward screening in the background while I presented to two managers and switched screens around in a corporate meeting and they saw it for a good 40 seconds on the big monitor 🫠😅😁

I hate it when managers and team members don't utilise JIRA as the one source of truth.

When you move your card into the Review column, set the assignee to `unassigned` so that people know to pick it up. It's so much easier to understand the state of it !

"But then we don't know who's worked on it" - is NOT a valid reason to leave the original author as the assignee. It just leads to work not being reviewed.

On a three months project for a website, the "strategists" and project managers spent two months and a half discussing the "strategy". It left us (production team) two weeks to create the content, the design, and code everything.

Of course it ended being rushed and somehow shitty, but they still congratulte themselves because they "nailed" the "strategy".

</rant>

Why broken stuff is allowed through the door?

My Ubuntu, my Bluetooth headsets, Jira, my latest Google pixel, eCommerce shop where I purchase stuff everything lately seem to be full of bugs.

It seems like nobody cares about the quality of software pushed to production. Everyone is so quick to push those tickets into "released".

Fuck you, managers, shareholders, scrum masters, seniors who push developers to do stuff quickly rather than correctly.

15h/day for at least one month.

Manager to someone: How long do you think it will take you to build this?

Someone: Erm... 6 months.

Manager: Fine, I'm pretty sure you can do it in 3 months.

I was invited/forced to join someone's team because he could not do it in 3 months. Neither did we, but we managed to deliver the project in 4 months.

The dickhead manager got a promotion, money prizes etc for burning us out. I can't stand this kind of managers.

Neither I or someone work for that guy anymore.

If a Dev tells you it would deliver something in X believe him, he's telling you the best he can.

In one of my previous jobs. There are some scripts programmed by people that seems to don't know what a function is. It was a fractal of replicated if else code. Every half of the code is almost identical to the other one except for a simple things. Then if you see each half you can see the same pattern again and so on. Files like that are about 50.000 lines long. If you blame it, you see mostly the usernames of current managers. If that is not enough, it was written in perl

I did a communication and multimedia design study because I was convinced I already knew almost anything.

Ooh the beauty of youth.

But it did help me in the long run, communication with clients and being able to present work with some decent looking presentation and mockups gets the managers all horney as teenagers on springbreak.

Pretty sure thats why I beat some competitors on big projects while their technical skill and team where much better.

I think some managers would be happier if there was no leave allowance for staff in their contracts. Every single time I apply for a day it's like pulling teeth with this guy. When 3 years of vacation leave backs up and I *have* to take all at once then it's a problem too. Tf is it with some people?

Sooo, turns out, management and senior PMs, technical PMs, service managers and you name it forgot an entire system.

A complete eco-system of applications, queues, services, load-balancers, deploy pipelines, databases, monitoring solutions, etc, etc, that if not handled correctly could effectively put the entire production line to a standstill.

So, waaay too late they make this discovery. In their ignorance. Just utter incompetence. Huge project. Millions of $. And they forget it. Months of meetings probably. Workshops and gettogethers at cozy hotel complex discussing ”the project”? And they do not understand some of the fundamental building blocks…

Basic engineering for these guys must mean something completely different.

I can’t even.

I am so fed up with this organization. It does not stop either.

How is this possible…

Do they even have half a brain?

In the Global Blockchain Congress currently taking place in Kolkata, India, 'IT' officials from PWC India and IBM India start their speaks right after a popular cryptography professor from Belgium and a Blockchain entrepreneur from Brazil.

Every word these 'IT officials' uttered showed how shallow and business minded the IT managers and marketers are.

Is there a hidden joke in the fact that stand up meetings/daily stand-ups share the same word root with stand up comedy? It would seem the creators of that pointless activity thought it naughty/mischievous, if not a humorous giveaway that those gatherings are more for fun, entertainment, a joke, and a platform for product managers to not feel left out from the development process

There is a big difference between IT and CS, the first has a lot of monkeys because most of the hiring managers don't ask technical interview questions that screen out monkeys... Probably because.... **Hmmmm thinking of a nice way to say it** They don't know any better...

Why do we rant here? Why can’t companies allow a safe space for their employees to vent out their woes? Or does that just add tension/make the workplace heated coz managers or co-workers could be sensitive to criticism? Or we’re just too stressed and overwhelmed that our woes don’t make sense(and we know it) but we gotta let it out some times? Lol

Because of my managers attitude I have lost interest in her project ...not fun any more. Now it’s not gonna be of such good quality because now I won’t be developing it with lovvve, won’t be going extra miles ......fucking idiot.

My company has hired and fired 3 Engagement Managers (people who host events, refill snacks, etc) since I'm started here, and I'm starting to think People Ops is either

1) Cannot hire someone good
2) Is toxic and causing the people to leave
3) Hire and fire before their 90 days are up

It sucks that right when I think we got someone good, they give them the boot. That should not be a norm or acceptable to go through 3 managers in 9 months.

How do you deal with managers/co-workers asking you the task status every hour? They keep on asking, is this done? is this done? It pisses me off to no end. Does anybody know how to handle this without being overly snarky?

Why are there no good file managers for Linux?

Come to think of it, why are there no good file managers that aren't Windows Explorer?

All I want is a good breadcrumb bar (editable), customizability, basic functions such as permanent delete, open folder with, etc, and built in zip reading. Is that too much to ask?

Currently I use the elementary OS one (works a bit better than the default nautilus) but it lacks a ton of basic functionality and there's pretty much no customization.

Please someone make a usable file manager for Linux. Ugh

When you have two managers and one of them is trying to screw you into a position on his team even though you have made it clear that you want nothing to do with that type of development.

I am looking for a new job now...

So one of the PMs arranged a meeting last week for today, where he was going to "talk to us about a project we're currently working on".

Today the PM was off, so myself and a few other managers attended said meeting. Once everyone was in, one of the managers looked around, then at me and stated: "Have you not prepared your handover for this meeting?". I was just sat there like "WTF? What handover!?"

Apparently the PM decided to raise a meeting saying he was going to talk about the project, but then told all the other managers I was going to give a handover. He told everyone, but me!!

No wonder he didn't show up for it -.-

Guys i had a question...do people managers get more salary than developers? If they do then would i ever earn more than them in future and how long will it take for me to earn more money than them? Dont get me wrong, i dont have anything against them, i just want devs who do all these stressful complicated stuff to have more salary than people managers...your thoughts please, thanks

Large majority of rants is about incompetent project managers.
No matter where you live the problem stays the same. Most of them have no clue how software is being made and how dev/qa work looks like.
I frankly do not understand this phenomena. I have friends in automotive/constructions industry and theirs managers are engineers too in that field. Why it can't be the same in software development?

It is now apparent to me that I need to work in an environment where managers empower their development team to choose the correct tools and processes for the job.

Why can't people just do their fucking jobs? How hard is it to understand? Managers keep time, resources and risks in check and inform the developers. Developers develop and test the system. How the fuck do we have manager for agile, manager for program a manager for program b, risk mitigation manager, this shit manager that shit manager . For fucks sake with this much management we should be like fuckin bee nest and not an unorganized mess. In the end it turns out that literally there are more managers than developers just because they cannot fire an incapable idiot and they hire the next one. It is plain fucking simple - if you are not fit for the job get lost or make yourself fit. For fucks sake.

It really makes me wonder are there any well organized companies out there?

I hate fucking "managers"

The idiot that got a referral bonus, and kept it, is one.

Ffs I helped her for months in my previous company. Now she probably makes more than me.

Red Dead Redemption 2 Day - Awesome
No managers in today - fucking win
Work from home day - Can we get anymore wins?

Remote into computer that works for everyone - TODAY IT DONT FUCKING WORK -_-

Guess its a normal ass work day today and it's raining, fuck you Earth. No one is allowed to play RDR2 until I get home

the look and chat project managers give right before they tell you the specs changed.

pm: heyyy
dev: what is it?
pm: how are you?
dev :{realising the spec changed}

Favourite year as a dev? The first year. It was still so new and interesting to me yet to be soiled by money, deadlines, managers, waking up early, commuting, coworkers etc... Ah to be able to go back to those days.

I've seen some posts on remote work. I believe all companies should permanently implement remote work if they cannot arrange a proper office.
I have been working for a company where programmers and project managers work in the same room, and sometimes I was trying to understand some problem in code when managers were screaming next to me at other developers or on the phone, because they couldn't hear themselves.
This happend so often that I would literally go home burned out.
Also there were people coming in the room to talk to the managers or just passing next to my screen every couple of minutes which was extremely distracting.
I bought a pair of over ear noise cancelling headphones and on top of that used ear plugs, but eventually I developed a very strange stress condition over the course of a year. Also listening to music while trying to focus for 8 hours a day while at work is very tiresome.
Also couldn't quit because it was my first job.

Sooo cobol eeeh...?
Old legacy system still running ehh?
Eyes closed and hope for the best from management eh?
And now everybody needs them all, while simple ppl dont get their money managers just say sorry ?

Twas a timebomb and it will still be. Its hugely pathetic of those responsible to disregard their old systems and dont test them for the worst case.

Why am i trying here to deliver proper working systems with long term update schedules when ppl in charge suck with their responsibilities?