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*Now that's what I call a Hacker*
MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS
This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.
xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"
xxx: You're gonna love this
xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.
xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".
xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.
xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.
xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those
The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
Anyone know this bitch hacker 127.0.0.1 story?
WORST HACKERS OF ALL TIME
CONTINUED IN THE COMMENTS BECUASE IT IS SO LONG...
TLdr bitch hacker hacks himself by localhost
bitchchecker (~email@example.com) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can’t you discus normally
<Elch> we didn’t kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~email@example.com) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you’re stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You’re a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you’re dead
<Elch> Eh, it’s 18.104.22.168
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I’m frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~email@example.com) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you’re so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~email@example.com) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What’s up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don’t know
<bitchchecker> i’m 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn’t know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you’re afraid
<bitchchecker> i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can’t hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..31
https://git.kernel.org/…/ke…/... sure some of you are working on the patches already, if you are then lets connect cause, I am an ardent researcher for the same as of now.
So here it goes:
As soon as kernel page table isolation(KPTI) bug will be out of embargo, Whatsapp and FB will be flooded with over-night kernel "shikhuritee" experts who will share shitty advices non-stop.
1. The bug under embargo is a side channel attack, which exploits the fact that Intel chips come with speculative execution without proper isolation between user pages and kernel pages. Therefore, with careful scheduling and timing attack will reveal some information from kernel pages, while the code is running in user mode.
In easy terms, if you have a VPS, another person with VPS on same physical server may read memory being used by your VPS, which will result in unwanted data leakage. To make the matter worse, a malicious JS from innocent looking webpage might be (might be, because JS does not provide language constructs for such fine grained control; atleast none that I know as of now) able to read kernel pages, and pawn you real hard, real bad.
2. The bug comes from too much reliance on Tomasulo's algorithm for out-of-order instruction scheduling. It is not yet clear whether the bug can be fixed with a microcode update (and if not, Intel has to fix this in silicon itself). As far as I can dig, there is nothing that hints that this bug is fixable in microcode, which makes the matter much worse. Also according to my understanding a microcode update will be too trivial to fix this kind of a hardware bug.
3. A software-only remedy is possible, and that is being implemented by all major OSs (including our lovely Linux) in kernel space. The patch forces Translation Lookaside Buffer to flush if a context switch happens during a syscall (this is what I understand as of now). The benchmarks are suggesting that slowdown will be somewhere between 5%(best case)-30%(worst case).
4. Regarding point 3, syscalls don't matter much. Only thing that matters is how many times syscalls are called. For example, if you are using read() or write() on 8MB buffers, you won't have too much slowdown; but if you are calling same syscalls once per byte, a heavy performance penalty is guaranteed. All processes are which are I/O heavy are going to suffer (hostings and databases are two common examples).
5. The patch can be disabled in Linux by passing argument to kernel during boot; however it is not advised for pretty much obvious reasons.
6. For gamers: this is not going to affect games (because those are not I/O heavy)
Meltdown: "Meltdown" targeted on desktop chips can read kernel memory from L1D cache, Intel is only affected with this variant. Works on only Intel.
Spectre: Spectre is a hardware vulnerability with implementations of branch prediction that affects modern microprocessors with speculative execution, by allowing malicious processes access to the contents of other programs mapped memory. Works on all chips including Intel/ARM/AMD.
For updates refer the kernel tree: https://git.kernel.org/…/ke…/...
For further details and more chit-chats refer: https://lwn.net/SubscriberLink/...
(Originally written by Adhokshaj Mishra, edited by me. )23
They announce the results and that was where the fucking plot twist was.
I was *not* on the list. I was devastated, to the point of depression. I refused to get over it, sulked at home, fell sick, skipped college for next two weeks straight. It took a few more days for me to recover.
After several visits from my friends and a lot of convincing, I decided to go back to college. I felt hopeless and had pretty much resigned to my fate. Being the idiot that I am, I missed several other interview opportunities during that interim when I was despairing-away.
Semester exams were about to start and I get a call from my staff saying I had cleared the coding exam for one of the companies that was coming for recruitment the next day. I had written this exam like several months ago and didn’t even remember having written it. It was such a short notice and I had zero time to prepare and my psyche didn’t want to(remember how I had resigned to my fate?).
I did manage to make it to the interview. I was expecting a tough interview (this company had a reputation for having tough interview rounds) but all I got was a bunch of tree and linked list and search algorithm related questions (internship interview). I had two rounds. It did really go well but I had learnt to not get my hopes up. Then I noticed other interviewees being called for a third round and they asked me to go home. I was like “meh”. I was used to it at that point in time.
Very unexpected to me, (but i’m pretty sure y’all have guessed at this point) I get a call saying, they have recruited me as an intern! 6 months later, I was working as an employee!
When I look back today, I realize that my current job, in every way, is waay better than the one I had so desperately wanted! The pay, the timing, the location, my actual job description, all of it! As a bonus I have an awesome manager who trusts me! I work with remotely with a team with such high standards and I learn something new everyday.
In my two years here, I have built a couple automation systems from scratch, I have mentored an intern and got him a full time offer, I have had two free two-week trips to the US and I have been promoted once! I’m so glad I was rejected that day (:
Thank you for reading!17
So I've been screaming for months that push notifications are not reliable enough to build critical functionality on top of. Management won't listen and keep pushing ahead with making teams use it because its cheap and easy.
Been debugging an issue on/off for several weeks. Turns out someone in management asked the backend team to cut the expiration time of items down to 5 minutes to increase throughput (without telling mobile). Notifications are regularly taking +4 mins to get to the phones, leaving our users with barely any time to react. They are now complaining.
I swear if there is a single IQ point available between the whole team i've yet to see any evidence of it8
I was registering for a website, and on a whim, I used this as my username:
And sure enough, the login system went down. The next day it was still down, so I went to Twitter to tell the people running the site that this was why, but to my surprise, I see them saying they had been hacked.
Based on the timing, I'm pretty sure they're referring to this, but they are saying user info was stolen. *facepalm*
They later said they stored passwords salted with a fixed salt and hashed with fucking md5, at which point I was glad not to have done any more business with them.
How incompetent can these fucking people be?!15
I used to work in a role that was basically tech support for engineers. Folks would call, we'd look at their code and see where things were going wrong.
One customer calls in, they're having timing problems with a satellite control system.
I dig down through their code, and buried in one of the modules is a comment to the effect of:
"Once we upgrade to Windows 98, we'll need to change this call to the precision counter"
They never did.
This system was running XP.
Somehow, they'd avoided destroying satellites despite having the code run on Win98, and ME without fixing that call. It wasn't until they upgraded to a multi core system and XP that their gyros stopped responding correctly.
Made a bad pun at work. Collegue:
What about I break this beer bottle *points at it*, stick it in your throat and put it up your ass sideways afterwards?
Me: 😅 I'll stop 😅
Sometimes my timing is bad :P13
Although I know it's nothing, the irony is real.
My room is connected to the power group together with 5 other people.
Watching a mass surveillance documentary.
Suddenly my power goes out, the rest stays on.
I know it must be a glitch in the newly installed power management system but damn the timing couldn't be better!4
A huge project came my way at work. Old spaghetti code, no source control, no test env and every other possible challenge you could think of. Based on my initial quote a deadline of June 19th was approved. Two days ago the president of the company tells my boss it needs to be done by Friday, no excuses. Horrible timing since I'm moving tomorrow and am off all next week. Not to mention I'm the only dev at the company that understands/knows how to work on this code. We also don't have a budget to contract out. Literally not possible to do in 2 days. I proposed a "quick fix" solution and new design which was approved. I Spent 2 straight days working on it with overtime, no lunch hour, and the president checking on me every hour for status updates. Managed to implement my "quick fix" and just put it live 2 hours ago. President approved, and said "thanks". He then sent an email to the company and all our agents across the country anouncing the change. In the email he directly thanks the Marketing dept and the "senior leadership team" for "making the quick turnaround of this request possible". He proceeds to name specific people responsible for making this happen. No where does he mention my name or my department. Not that I'm actually surprised but it would have been nice to get some recognition considering this literally wouldn't have worked without me. Guess I should be used to it by now. I'm also now on call during my week off in case anything breaks.12
Hey guys, first rant,
At the moment I'm developing a very big and complex app. We are almost done and decided to deliver a test version to our customer. After he received our test he called us and said there is a problem with a function, he just said it's not working and wasn't very specific.
So I decided to check his problem, because an colleague couldn't figure it out.
I started the app via android studio and had a similar problem, there was a huge delay at the automatic recording function of Bluetooth messages, I thought yeah this is his problem.
I showed it my colleague and he said that he doesn't have this problem, we have different Bluetooth simulators so we thought that there must be a problem with the Bluetooth communication or the simulators are broken.
I checked if there is some kind of timing or buffer problem and logged the shit out of the simulator and found nothing, 3 hours were lost🏁.
My colleague checked his last changes because he had changed a lot at the App Api do to new conditions and those customer wishes💀 he couldn't found anything. So we thought maybe it's my device and the device of the customer. We switched the devices and tada no problem with my devices if the app is builded at the pc of my colleague.
I thought ok maybe it's because I turned some ndk features off. Turned it back on, nothing happened. So we exchanged our Android Studio Settings but no difference. So I said yeah whatever my mashine is just fucked. I restarted my mashine for the third time and started android fucking studio. Some little popup showed up "new updates"... the solution came to my mind ... Do to an update of android studio I excidently turned on Instant Run.....🌋 . I checked it, it was activated, these fucking instant run, great idea but not working... Turned it off, everything worked.
I called the customer because he can't have a problem and he said, this time not angry, oh yeah it was just a notification if I want to turn on my Bluetooth and I decided no and the Bluetooth recording is not recording, this is a problem... -😠NO FUCKING COMMENT😤-5
Told some guy who was parking next to the emergency exit to move his car. He was like "uhm, well, you're not going to have an emergency anyway.."
*fire alarm starts*
Perfect timing ^^5
No protesting for me today. Sorry.
if anything happens today however, I will create my own Tor exit node.
And you will be among the first to know about it.
Tor will be the next uncensored web. And I will strive to protect it.
At least that's something I can do from home, regardless of time zones and timing altogether.
I feel like we can't save the internet anymore. But we can create another one.
The darkweb is waiting for you.
It's only the Tor Browser away.19
A common scenario strikes again today:
- Blocked on a problem at the end of the day
- Tell my wife I'm headed home
- Inspiration strikes
- time flies by coding in the zone
- realize I'm super late
- run out the door like a crazy person1
Our web department was deploying a fairly large sales campaign (equivalent to a ‘Black Friday’ for us), and the day before, at 4:00PM, one of the devs emails us and asks “Hey, just a heads up, the main sales page takes almost 30 seconds to load. Any chance you could find out why? Thanks!”
We click the URL they sent, and sure enough, 30 seconds on the dot.
Our department manager almost fell out of his chair (a few ‘F’ bombs were thrown).
DBAs sit next door, so he shouts…
Mgr: ”Hey, did you know the new sales page is taking 30 seconds to open!?”
DBA: “Yea, but it’s not the database. Are you just now hearing about this? They have had performance problems for over week now. Our traces show it’s something on their end.”
Mgr: “-bleep- no!”
Mgr tries to get a hold of anyone …no one is answering the phone..so he leaves to find someone…anyone with authority.
4:15 he comes back..
Mgr: “-beep- All the web managers were in a meeting. I had to interrupt and ask if they knew about the performance problem.”
Me: “Oh crap. I assume they didn’t know or they wouldn’t be in a meeting.”
Mgr: “-bleep- no! No one knew. Apparently the only ones who knew were the 3 developers and the DBA!”
Me: “Uh…what exactly do they want us to do?”
Mgr: “The –bleep- if I know!”
Me: “Are there any load tests we could use for the staging servers? Maybe it’s only the developer servers.”
DBA: “No, just those 3 developers testing. They could reproduce the slowness on staging, so no need for the load tests.”
Mgr: “Oh my –bleep-ing God!”
4:30 ..one of the vice presidents comes into our area…
VP: “So, do we know what the problem is? John tells me you guys are fixing the problem.”
Mgr: “No, we just heard about the problem half hour ago. DBAs said the database side is fine and the traces look like the bottleneck is on web side of things.”
VP: “Hmm, no, John said the problem is the caching. Aren’t you responsible for that?”
Mgr: “Uh…um…yea, but I don’t think anyone knows what the problem is yet.”
VP: “Well, get the caching problem fixed as soon as possible. Our sales numbers this year hinge on the deployment tomorrow.”
- VP leaves -
Mgr: “I was thinking the same thing. I’ll have networking run a trace.”
4:45 Networking run their trace, and sure enough, there was some relative path of ‘something’ pointing to a local resource not on development, it was waiting/timing out after 30 seconds. Fixed the path and page loaded instantaneously. Network admin walks over..
NetworkAdmin: “We had no idea they were having problems. If they told us last week, we could have identified the issue. Did anyone else think 30 second load time was a bit suspicious?”
4:50 VP walks in (“John” is the web team manager)..
VP: “John said the caching issue is fixed. Great job everyone.”
VP: “But the caching is fixed? Right? John said it was caching. Anyway, great job everyone. We’re going to have a great day tomorrow!”
NetworkAdmin: “Ouch…you feel that?”
Me: “Feel what?”
NetworkAdmin: “That bus John just threw us under.”
Mgr: “Yea, but I think John just saved 3 jobs. Remember that.”4
I'm fairly certain my boss'.....boss (didn't want to count them.. it's high up the chain, and slightly lateral) thinks I'm incredibly weird. I have too many sports injuries to be fully functional and they all flare up while I'm sitting at my desk. To offset this, I stand up or walk around while on the phone, and occasionally stretch.
These stretches are for hip and it band, usually, which are a bit more involved, so of course he ONLY fucking walks into the damn office while I'm stretching. (Image search for hip stretch).
To top it off, I have an unfortunate colored ointment for the pain in my elbow that i was applying today while stretching, and im scared to know what he was thinking before he realized what was actually going on. Imagine hip stretching (this one with leg on desk) while rubbing milky sort of clear ointment into skin...
Sir, if you're reading this, I promise I'm not actually that weird at work, you just have shitty timing.5
I had just started learning the MERN stack and they deprecated it yesterday. Perfect timing, as usual.13
I was at my last job for 13 years when they outsourced my job to India. They kept me on as a liaison - they said they needed a BS detector to make sure the hosting company was not inflating their estimates. 6 most boring months of my professional career.
As I was getting my resume together to start looking, a former coworker called. She was now an application dev manager and was putting together a post integration team. One interview later, I was hired. It was perfect timing.1
Fucking bastard cunting customers I am not starting your shite at two minute to going home time, if you don't like go fuck yourself. #rant over16
A colleague once changed the double click timing in the mouse settings to the lowest. This made double click impossible.
Took some time to figure out, and way more to solve without double click :/1
That would probably be implementing multithreading in shell scripts.
The idea (though not the project itself) was born back when I still was a sysadmin. Maintaining 30k servers 24/7 was quite something for a team of merely ~14 people. That includes 1st line support as well.
So I built a script to automate most of my BAU chores. You could feed a list of servers - tens or hundreds or more - and execute the same action on each of them (actions could be custom or predefined in the list of templates). Neither Puppet nor Chef or Ansible or anything of sorts was consistently deployed in that zoo, not to mention the corp processes made use of those tools even a slower approach than the manual one, so I needed my own solution.
The problem was the timing. I needed all those commands to execute on all the servers. However, as you might expect, some servers could be frozen, others could be in DMZ, some could be long decommed (and not removed from the listings), etc. And these buggars would cause my solution to freeze for longer than I'd like. Not to mention that running something like `sar -q 1 10` on 200 servers is quite time-consuming itself :)
And how do I get that output neatly and consistently (not something you'd easily get with moving the task to a background with '&'. And even with that you would not know when are all the iterations complete!)?
So many challenges...
I started building the threading solution that would
- execute all the tasks in parallel
- do not write anything to disks
- assign a title to each of the tasks
- wait for all the tasks to complete in either
> the same sequence as started
> as soon as the task finishes
- keep track of each task's
> return code
> sequence ID
- execute post-finish actions (e.g. print to the console) for each of the tasks -- all the tracked properties are to be accessible by the post-finish actions.
The biggest challenges were:
a) how do I collect all that output without trashing my filesystems?
b) how do I synchronize all those tasks
c) how do I make the inception possible (threads creating threads that create their own threads and so on).
Took me some time, but I finally got there and created the libbthread library. It utilizes file descriptors, subshells and some piping magic to concentrate the output while keeping track of all the tasks' properties. I now use it extensively in my new tools - the ones where I can't use already existing tools and can't use higher-level languages.4
Completed Angular 2 course on codeschool, really liked improvements and simplicity of Angular over Angularjs. Decided to do quick start guide in official website. Oh my f**king god... I need to setup webpack, typescript linter, typings, polyfills etc angular2-cli is no better, crawling with errors... why... why can't one just start a project and work instead spending loads of timing configuring all of that... AND WHY WE CANT HAVE PROPER SUPPORT FOR LATEST FEATURES...
I don't even know what I am ranting about... I just wish to spend more time creating things than configuring for ages development environment.7
Hey Dave and Tim!
Thank you for the stickers!
The post had a Surprisingly good timing because today I also became 21.
So thank you for this present! :)6
Our boss decided that a new guy joins our team now, as we are under pressure to finish a product. There are 2 sprints left for that. Afterwards, we'd have all the time in the world to onboard him properly and getting him familiar with our system. But no, le boss said he'd start now, so he does. We're losing focus and time better spent on the product. And the new guy isn't feeling useful either, because he has no idea what we built so far.
Don't get me wrong, the new guy seems like a good addition, in general. But that timing is awful.11
I accidentally surpassed(?) my user permissions and closed some of my classmates browsers and locked up a terminal for me
In school we have 2 primary operating systems: Windows and Ubuntu. Windows is hell in general and but not as hell as the firefox installation on Ubuntu.
"Just loaded this page. Now wait half a minute so that I can render it"
"Woah, woah, woah. Slow there. You just made an input event. Give me those 5 seconds to compute what you just did"
Executing "top" or "htop" shows you a long list of firefox processes with a cpu usage of 99.9%, since the whole school shares that linux environment.
Anyway, one day it was way more servere than normally and I way forced to kill my firefox instances. So I pressed CTRL+ALT+T for that terminal, waited 5 minutes until it accepted input typed "killall firefox" with a delay of half a minute per character and smahed that enter key.
At this very point in time I could hear confusion from every corner of the room. "What happened to firefox?"
Around 30% of the opened browsers where abruptly stopped. I looked back to my screen noticed I was logged out. I couldn't login from that terminal for the rest of that day.
Our network admin, which happened to be there, since the server is just next door, said that this was just convenience, but the timing was too perfect so I heighly doubt that.
I felt like a real hackerman even if it was by accident :)8
Turns out I had some conversion issues and timing issues in the SD card file parser that I wrote... wtf it worked before I swear
It fully works now!!! I can now finally load presets from an SD card and apply them to the screen at my leisure.5
Might be a loose interpretation of 'vacation', but I was running a marathon using my phone for tunes, when suddenly I got a call from my boss; our application server had died and he had no idea how to restart it. So while running the race I was timing my exhales to give him the step-by-step instructions for reset-to-restart. The good news is that the miles just flew by as he read the logs, and I responded with commands. Suddenly I was at mile 22 and was actually feeling pretty good; didn't finish the race with a PR but was happy with the result and did get the server back up.2
So I recently had a university project which focuses video game audio. We had to work in groups of 3 students and the task was to create a video game which uses audio as a gameplay mechanic.
Our idea was to create a game where you collect different audio samples which get looped as background music, and you have to select the correct ones to have a nice tune. To make it a bit more challenging we had enemies, guns and grenades plus doors which only open if the correct music is playing.
The guns fire on-beat, and the grenades always explode on the first beat of the next bar.
It was quite challenging to get things synced since even small offsets are noticable.
I wrote some nice code and theoretically it should have worked but for some reason the gun shots and the grenades didn't quite hit the beat of the music.
I tweaked stuff, created workarounds, optimized lot's of code to get execution times down but it still only worked sometimes.
I tweaked more and more only to realize that the timing drifted over time.
At that time I worked 20-30 hours on tweaking and trying to get it perfectly timed.
After recalculating some numbers I realized that all the audio samples are recorded at 135 bpm, but the guys who did the recordings said it was 130bpm.
I asked them if it could be the case that the samples are 135bpm and they said:
"yes, they are at 135 bpm as we told you"
I scrolled back in the telegram conversation only to see that they said 130.
Changing the number to 135 resolved all the problems and all of my workarounds and tweaks weren't needed.
So I worked for nearly 30 hours just because they didn't notice their fault and even when they realized that the timing is off sometimes (which took forever because they never played the game), they didn't even consider that they might have given me the wrong numbers.
This all wouldn't be that bad if both of my teammates had worked for more than 15 hours but they didn't. I did all the hard work and the only single thing they did fucked up my workflow. It fucked up the system I created and it fucked up the gameplay as things got unpredictable. Because of their fucking fault I worked as much as both of them combined IN ADDITION to all the other work I did (built 3 maps, coded everything, created animations, ...)
I love working in teams, but only if the whole team is motivated. Those two fuckers were the exact opposite.
Luckily i found the error so I could fix it, but guess with whom I'll never ever work together again?10
I had spent the last year working on a online store power by woocommerce with over 100k products from various suppliers. This online store utilized a custom API that would take the various formats that suppliers offer their inventory in and made them consistent. Now everything was going swimmingly initially, but then I began adding more and more products using a plug-in called WP all import. I reached around 100k products and the site would take up to an entire minute to load sometimes timing out. I got desperate so I installed several caching plugins, but to no avail this did not help me. The site was originally only supposed to take three to four months but ended up taking an entire year. Then, just yesterday I found out what went wrong and why this woocommerce website with all of these optimizations was still taking anywhere from 60 to 90 seconds to load, or just timing out entirely. I had initially thought that I needed a beefier server so I moved it to a high CPU digitalocean VM. While this did help a little bit, the site was still very slow and now I had very high CPU usage RAM usage and high disk IO. I was seriously stumped the Apache process was using a high amount of CPU and IO along with MYSQL as well. It wasn't until I started digging deeper into the database that I actually found out what the issue was. As I was loading the site I would run 'show process list' in the SQL terminal, I began to notice a very significant load time for one of the tables, so I went to go and check it out. What I did was I ran a select all query on that particular table just to see how full it was and SQL returned a error saying that I had exceeded the maximum packet size. So I was like okay what the fuck...
So I exited my SQL and re-entered it this time with a higher packet size. I ran a query that would count how many rows were in this particular table and the number came out to being in the millions. I was surprised, and what's worse is that this table belong to a plugin that I had attempted to use early in the development process to cache the site. The plugin was deactivated but apparently it had left PHP files within the wp content directory outside of the actual plugin directory, so it's still executing scripts even though the plugin itself was disabled. Basically every time I would change anything on the site, it would recache the whole thing, and it didn't delete any old records. So 100k+ products caching on saves with no garbage collection... You do the math, it's gonna be a heavy ass database. Not only that but it was serialized data, so when it did pull this metric shit ton of spaghetti from the database, PHP then had to deserialize it. Hence the high ass CPU load. I had caching enabled on the MySQL end of things so that ate the ram. I was really desperate to get this thing running.
Honest to God the main reason why this website took so long was because the load times made it miserable to work on. I just thought that the hardware that I had the site on was inadequate. I had initially started the development on a small Linux VM which apparently wasn't enough, which is why I moved it to digitalocean which also seemed to not be enough, so from there I moved to a dedicated server which still didn't seem to be enough. I was probably a few more 60-second wait times or timeouts from recommending a server cluster to my client who I know would not be willing to purchase it. The client who I promised this site to have completed in 3 months and has waited a year. Seriously, I would tell people the struggles that I would go through with this particular site and they would just tell me to just drop the site; just take the money, just take the loss. I refused to, this was really the only thing that was kicking my ass. I present myself as this high-and-mighty developer like I'm just really good at what I do but then I have this WordPress site that's just beating the shit out of me for a year. It was a very big learning experience and it was also very humbling as well, it made me realize that I really don't know as much as I think I might. It was evidence that there is still so much more to learn out there, I did learn a lot from that experience especially about optimizing websites the different types of methods to do that particular lonely on the server side and I'll be able to utilize this knowledge in the future.
I guess the moral of the story is, never really give up. Ultimately things might get so bad that you're running on hopes and dreams. Those experiences are generally the most humbling. Now I can finally present the site that I am basically a year late on to the client who will be so happy that I did not give up on the project entirely. I'll have experienced this feeling of pure euphoria, and help the small business significantly grow their revenue. Helping others is very fulfilling for me, even at my own expense.
Anyways, gonna stop ranting. Running out of characters. If you're still here... Ty for reading :')8
It's time to put my 3D printer together 😍
All the parts I ordered have arrived accept for two timing belts.
Super excited, will post pictures in a couple days when I finish building it and writing the firmware for it.8
This happened a few weeks ago at school.
The previous semester we had to work in a group to make a basic Android application. After handing it in to the teacher, we had to present it in front off the class.
During this project, one of the groups was having some problems with a member, mainly because of misunderstandings and miscommunication. He definitely has technical skills, but he really needs to work on his focus and communicational skills.
The member was removed from the group and had to do it on his own. He had 2 days to make the app, which we initially got 2 weeks for.
Skip forward to presentation day.
Every group presented their app and got feedback from the teacher and the rest of the students.
Lastly, the guy that was on his own was giving his presentation. He started his powerpoint and explained what happened during the project and what went wrong. Then he said: "This is a black page in my school career, everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong". Immediately after saying this, he proceeds to go to the next slide: His laptop crashed, Blue Screen Of Death.
This was one of the most painful moments I've ever witnessed during a presentation.
I couldn't believe the timing of Windows to fuck up.2
Long but hilarious:
I was deeply concerned about how we have a single, non-paginated call to a backend service, returning hundreds of entries, which has to be enriched with constant data fetched from our db for each entry. FOR EACH ENTRY. AND FOR EACH REQUEST.
I voiced my concerns to my PM, who called me a "rage prophet" for it.
As expected, the call took 20-something seconds to complete.
Ten minutes before the CEO comes over to have a look, another dev changes his loosely-related service, and the entire super-heavy, sprawling abyss of enrichment pipeline returns in sub-second timing!!!
CEO: guys, this is too fast. You have to slow it down a bit. It doesn't seem reliable that we're able to get all this data immediately.
PM: you see, rage prophet, it all worked out in the end
When your team's hard work receive such a mail from the client and still your Project Manager treats you like shit :|
A little back story
Me (hybrid app guy), backend (php api) guy and ui guy (html-css) worked fuckin day and night, to chase the fuckin less than 10 days deadline for this App
We hard to create the App for all 4 platforms including win mobile and blackberry (god bless UI guy and me :|) ~ 2013
Those were the coolest days of our lives , we had a super blast - working (slogging) + drinking + just having fun cursing + not giving fuck to anything and anyone + more drinking..
Cool thing is, our client was in an impression that full backend and front end TEAM is working on this App 😀
This mail still makes us laugh
"professional team" 😁😂
Unfortunately I got paid only half of the salary for next month and left the company shortly
(because official company timing was from 10:00 AM or else half day paycut and I am a night guy, I used to come at around 12:00 noon)3
The story of how I got my dream job.
I was working for a company with a job I got just after graduating university. It was ok, not very exciting tech but I learned a lot by just surrounding myself with professional code monkeys. I was there for about a year when my company bought parts of another company and there was talk about people getting fired. This made me worried since I was the last one to get hired, so I started looking around for other jobs. I received this e-mail from a company saying they were looking for interns, what a coincidence! I adjusted my CV and sent it in.
--A few weeks pass--
It's Friday and I'm at a dinner party, it's 10pm and someone is calling me. I pick up and it's a recruiter from this company. I get very nervous but the alcohol helps me keep my cool, I pass the initial idiot test and they invite me for an interview. Yay!
I go to work on Monday and in a 1-on-1 and I tell my boss about the upcoming interview, he gives me a high-five :)
The interview is approaching and I'm feeling that I'm about to get sick, I refuse to believe this so I start taking a lot of medicine (painkillers, cough medicine etc.). I feel a bit better and thank the gods for medication.
I wake up, put on my nicest clothes and get on the train. I had one hour to spare just in case, which was well needed because the fucking train is late by 30 minutes. I'm still heavily medicated because of my ongoing fever. When I arrive I basically have to run there and somehow I manage to pick up a coffee on the way there which I devour in two seconds. I'm ready for the interview!
Some guy meets me in reception and the first thing he says is "My colleague doesn't speak our language so we'll have to speak english". This is fine, I speak good english but I was not prepared for this so it caught me off-guard and made me even more nervous. We get in and start talking. Things are going OK despite my numbed brain. I try to make eye-contact to make a good impression with the foreign engineer but he keeps staring somewhere which is making me nervous.
We get to the technical part on a whiteboard and this is where my brain decides to stop communicating. I'm presented a simple task which I'm struggling with finishing, and I feel the embarrassment coming over me. "NOOOOO THIS IS MY DREAM JOB, THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!" I'm thinking to myself. After making myself look like a complete arsehole for some time we wrap it up and just before I step out the door I say to the engineer "You should checkout my Github page, I have lots of interesting stuff there" and he says "I'll be sure to do that" but I don't believe him.
I leave the office in fury (of myself) and make my way to the train station and even though it's the middle of the day I quickly devour two beers to calm my nerves and make me feel a bit better. I was so damn disappointed in myself, I wasted the opportunity of a lifetime! I go back home to my regular (now shitty) job.
--Two days later--
I get a call from an unknown number. I pick up the phone and it's the same recruiter guy. "So how did you think it went?" he says. "To be honest, I think it went really bad", I replied. "What? Really? Because they loved you, you got the job". (this was an obvious recruiter lie) "... wat, are you sure you called the correct person?" I said and he just laughed. The day after I quit my old job the whole department gets fired - such impeccable timing.
--A few months later--
I finish my internship and they want to keep me. I'm so happy. The engineer that was in the interview works on my team. I ask him "Why did you hire me? You know as well as I do that my interview was horrible". It turns out he _did_ look at my Github profile and that's how he knew I could write code. I also heard later that for my position there was about 2000 applicants and somehow I made the interviews.
I still work there today and I couldn't be happier (Sorry for the long text).3
This is a follow up to my previous rant where I complained about Lenovo firmware update failing and bricking a relative’s computer.
We bought a chip programmer, got the bios from some forum and the thing fucking worked. I’m actually surprised it did, I’m not used to doing shit like this. I was pretty fucking scared of burning something.
The programmer also came with a clamp so we could hook it to the chip without desoldering it. Thank god.
I’m terribly depressed so good timing with that I guess.1
Want to make someone's life a misery? Here's how.
Don't base your tech stack on any prior knowledge or what's relevant to the problem.
Instead design it around all the latest trends and badges you want to put on your resume because they're frequent key words on job postings.
Once your data goes in, you'll never get it out again. At best you'll be teased with little crumbs of data but never the whole.
I know, here's a genius idea, instead of putting data into a normal data base then using a cache, lets put it all into the cache and by the way it's a volatile cache.
Here's an idea. For something as simple as a single log lets make it use a queue that goes into a queue that goes into another queue that goes into another queue all of which are black boxes. No rhyme of reason, queues are all the rage.
Have you tried: Lets use a new fangled tangle, trust me it's safe, INSERT BIG NAME HERE uses it.
Finally it all gets flushed down into this subterranean cunt of a sewerage system and good luck getting it all out again. It's like hell except it's all shitty instead of all fiery.
All I want is to export one table, a simple log table with a few GB to CSV or heck whatever generic format it supports, that's it.
So I run the export table to file command and off it goes only less than a minute later for timeout commands to start piling up until it aborts. WTF. So then I set the most obvious timeout setting in the client, no change, then another timeout setting on the client, no change, then i try to put it in the client configuration file, no change, then I set the timeout on the export query, no change, then finally I bump the timeouts in the server config, no change, then I find someone has downloaded it from both tucows and apt, but they're using the tucows version so its real config is in /dev/database.xml (don't even ask). I increase that from seconds to a minute, it's still timing out after a minute.
In the end I have to make my own and this involves working out how to parse non-standard binary formatted data structures. It's the umpteenth time I have had to do this.
These aren't some no name solutions and it really terrifies me. All this is doing is taking some access logs, store them in one place then index by timestamp. These things are all meant to be blazing fast but grep is often faster. How the hell is such a trivial thing turned into a series of one nightmare after another? Things that should take a few minutes take days of screwing around. I don't have access logs any more because I can't access them anymore.
The terror of this isn't that it's so awful, it's that all the little kiddies doing all this jazz for the first time and using all these shit wipe buzzword driven approaches have no fucking clue it's not meant to be this difficult. I'm replacing entire tens of thousands to million line enterprise systems with a few hundred lines of code that's faster, more reliable and better in virtually every measurable way time and time again.
This is constant. It's not one offender, it's not one project, it's not one company, it's not one developer, it's the industry standard. It's all over open source software and all over dev shops. Everything is exponentially becoming more bloated and difficult than it needs to be. I'm seeing people pull up a hundred cloud instances for things that'll be happy at home with a few minutes to a week's optimisation efforts. Queries that are N*N and only take a few minutes to turn to LOG(N) but instead people renting out a fucking off huge ass SQL cluster instead that not only costs gobs of money but takes a ton of time maintaining and configuring which isn't going to be done right either.
I think most people are bullshitting when they say they have impostor syndrome but when the trend in technology is to make every fucking little trivial thing a thousand times more complex than it has to be I can see how they'd feel that way. There's so bloody much you need to do that you don't need to do these days that you either can't get anything done right or the smallest thing takes an age.
I have no idea why some people put up with some of these appliances. If you bought a dish washer that made washing dishes even harder than it was before you'd return it to the store.
Every time I see the terms enterprise, fast, big data, scalable, cloud or anything of the like I bang my head on the table. One of these days I'm going to lose my fucking tits.10
>dreams something good
>mom wakes me up
>yells at mom
>gets shouted back
>thinks of dream again
>was soo good
Two week ago the CEO informs me that the "investor" want to put me in contact urgently with an external software house to help me with my "bottlenecks".
The investor goes immediately on holiday, so it's not available for explanations. The CEO doesn't know much.
Today I meet the software house CTO and CEO.
They tell me that I should do a transfer of knowledge with them. That they will respect my requirements, my schedule and that they want to help me.
During the meeting the business consultant explains "his" vision. Some new development nobody understand. Not even the CEO. The other cofounder is probably in disagreement but stay silent.
I agree to cooperate with them in due time and with due scope and planning.
It appears they already signed a contract with the investor. The investor is offering to us 40 days of a senior developer, for "free".
The CEO doesn't even know the economical details of the contract and he is surprised that has been signed.He also didn't know that a person will come over for 40 (?) days and that we will have to pay the transfer expenses.
I try to be friendly. I explain to them the issues I need to solve. I say specifically that I need help on certain tasks and that my wish is that nothing "new" will start until we fix some obvious problems.
After leaving, in the evening I receive an email from the software house guy, telling me that next week I MUST allocate a slot for technical transfer and the 2 weeks after for on site training. Like that. He also mention we "agreed" on that which is false. We agreed on me deciding the timing.
We are only 2 developers, at the moment and the other one will be on holiday next week, so I'm trying to get from him a lot of things I don't know because I don't know everything.
I'm not even sure I'll be able to explain how to prepare all the environment.
Worst thing is that I don't know what will be the scope of the project.
I really don't know how to behave.
I wrote back setting my conditions. I have holiday too. I have to prepare "documentation", explanation, etc.
I don't want the "senior dev" coming when I'm not present.
Maybe I was too weak answering and I should have started a fight immediately. Because he actually AGREED to let me decide and after that he set conditions on me immediately.
I don't know.
My stomach is burning, I had a very bad digestion with fever and headache, feel like puking, plus I spent several evening hours fixing the fucking Linux kernel bug.
I want to survive. I don't want to let them oust me in this stupid way. I want to fight.
I know that if I will explode, scream or whatever I will be at fault and I'll accelerate my demise.
When I try to be "diplomatic" actually I end up being weak.
When I try to be assertive I'm in fact rude and hysterical.
I can't think anything else.
This is what burnout looks like.20
Well, flu's going around. Decided to hit me hard today. Perfect fucking timing too, right when my best friends have their show's performances (tonight was opening night).
Also today I got a message from a college recruiter (for the one I actually want to go to) wanting to schedule an interview. I ended up explaining my situation to him and he understood, so that'll probably happen sometime next week.
I still fucking hate being sick.7
Server admin: "When do I need to make this config change for you?"
Me (in my head): "You mean the one I put a note in the change request ticket about in ALL CAPS and surrounded by asterisks saying 3pm (aside from the scheduled time field that the ticket requires), and the one we then subsequently chatted about where I reiterated the criticality of the timing about and the one I copied you in the email chain about that said the time in big, bold letters the time? THAT config change?!"
Me (IRL): "3pm, please."
(does not inspire confidence, though better to be asked then they just go off and do it whenever the mood strikes I suppose, which HAS happened)3
I rebooted a device that everyone uses
It has not come online yet
It's been an hour, and counting...
What a good timing we're all working from home eh?3
yepp, that's me running a GitLab pipeline on my PC and laptop (laptop is noisier, 'cuz PC has Noctua all over the case).
Turns out running a pipeline of ~200 jobs is quite network-demanding. To the levels where my DNS server in LAN is timing out. And streaming Netflix in parallel kills some of the gitlab runners.
daammnnnn.... I so don't want to pay for an EC2 or EKS at this stage :/
But then again, I don't remember when was the last time I heard fans whooshing in my lappy. I so got used to only hearing the coils whine in it...
Welp, talk about good timing. Got my stickers today, good start already to the new year. Thanks @dfox and @trogus3
Monday is the deadline for a big project in my master, I worked together with 11 people for one whole year. Our repository is on a server from university and we use the uni cluster to evaluate our results.
And today the uni spontaneous turns of its electricyty for the weekend to test some fallback systems...2
I'm a TA myself and just yesterday wanted to defend my fellow TAs and CS/IT teachers from some of the rants here. Of course not all of the rants are but I found a few quite unfair towards us and I can fully understand a TA getting confused and tired after 5-7 hours of helping and wrapping your head around some of the harder problems the students run into.
However, I'm also a student myself and right now I'm fucking fed up with the shit my supervisor gives me regularly .. So let the rant flow!
(disclaimer: the following text uses “you” to address the rant recipient. So, dear reader, don't feel offended)
First of, why do you fucking care when and especially where I'm working on your project when you know I'm only working part time since I'm usually tutoring students by daylight. Having me come in after my TA shift to work on your project instead of letting me go home, get some rest and food, and start working with a fresh head is neither helping you nor very productive. Also, if you want me to be productive and use your fucking tools to get going faster you better not make me fucking debug your fucking tools. For instance, I don't even have the same first name so all your fucking paths are invalid on my fucking machine! Also, I get that your machine is more powerful than mine and I don't really care about it as long as you don't fucking push convoluted messy timing sensitive scripts and make me search for the correct values on my machine. And, if a file your script is trying to delete is not there aborting is not an valid exception handling!
And don't get me started on the scripts that actually do some work besides setting up your fucking toolchain!
What do you do when your redirect doesn’t go where you tell it?
Clearly I’m missing something.
I stepped through the code, following the failure path of Sheogorath’s Recaptcha. It fails as expected, and hits this redirect before doing anything else:
`return redirect_to new_user_session_path`
I verified that this redirects to the “/users/sign_in” path, and it returns so the server doesn’t even try to authenticate the user. It just nopes out as it should to prevent timing attacks.
But somehow instead of doing that and redirecting as it should, it signs the user in and redirects somewhere else entirely: the role select page, which only happens after authenticating an admin user. It never even hits my breakpoint after the recaptcha check! It never authenticates!
I think what I’m missing is my old reality where things made sense.5
Customer: We wanna add this thing to that feature. It has to go live with the next deployment (1 1/2 weeks to go)
Me estimating developmenttime, and informing the Management
management: this will take approx. 12h to implement, but we need these informations: [long list of not answered questions]
1 week later (1/2 week left till deployment
customer: okay, lets do it
management: we dont have much time left, what about the questions i sent you?
1 Day no response, 1 1/2 days left until deployment
customer: here you have a few answers. couldnt get the others. ill Send them tomorrow
damn... wtf? guys! i need this shit to Stay in time! cant wait another day! hell no!
Wow I was playing Dota 2 when Windows decided to minimize it and tell me about the update timing. Almost cost me a game.7
Decided to work from home today to get some solid work done, and I now get a fucking guy with a leaf blower right outside our place!
So for the past 3 weeks I have been reporting that the development on X tickets has been completed and are deployed for testing.
Testers, fuck it we are not testing.
BA: yeah ok.
So nobody is testing.
And this Friday evening BA panics, starts emailing everybody, we need those items tested blah blah..
Now he is calling the testers over the weekend for testing 😂
And adds few more changes to requirements. (WTF)
Says:- He will also be testing over the weekend.
IT team :- Systems won't be working due scheduled maintenance. 😂😂 In your face BA
IT people best timing ever🤘
Hope he learns some prioritizing.3
Archlinux.org went down just now for probably not only me. Guess who was in the middle of setting up his system again3
Recruiter's be like:
* How’s my timing!
* You want to work at a company you just left?
* Dear &FName,
* Do you have any friends that want this sucky position I'm trying to fill?
* You just need to move half way across the country.
* Do you do front and back ends?
Got an email about production launch.
It says that the launch production will done at noon and if you have something to say about it, you should be fast telling them.
The email was sent at 11:59 AM.
Had to retake one basic CS lecture due to timing constraints and I deeply regret it, because there is a voluntary tutoring which doesn't fail to annoy me.
This time I was randomly placed in a group with students 7+ years younger (some of them straight out of school), exclusively guys and some of them have not figured out where to put their huge ego yet - other than rubbing it in other people's faces.
Normally, I wouldn't even bother but 4h work followed by 4h lectures and not having had dinner prior to this tutoring leave me worrying about when I'll brutally slay and devour the still twitching remains of the next dude who tries to tell me that I don't know shit about assembly.5
So today a colleague confessed to an attempt to troll my computer by SSHing into it and playing random songs. Thankfully he did not manage but he would just happen to do it the day we have a security audit.
My most common response to everything this week is "What do you mean? Lol."
My brain is timing out. It's like whoever made this chatbot forgot to make it conversational and can only process complete commands in one request. Conversations go like this:
Person: "We need to do thing1 and thing2."
Me: "I already did thing1."
Person: "Great! Now you can do thing2."
Me: "What do you mean? Lol."
I annoy myself. I need a break.3
Was wondering if there are any open source or free for non-commercial (would like to tinker with it / learn about it as my weekend adventure first) use projects (or approaches how to solve this) that I might not have heard of, related to what I'm about to describe....
Usually, when you got 'n' ammount of machines (be it VM's, baremetal or just a bunch of Raspberry Pis) the usual approach is to either:
1)Run them as independent machines, each serving it's own purpose;
2)Run them as independent machines but "tied together" with software configured in a cluster and featuring some sort of replication;
3)Pool them together into a "swarm"/resource pool and provision VM's across them, with resources spread across the machines;
But I here's where I started wondering: What if I had 3 identical desktop PCs with relatively decent computing power and resources allocated to each... stay with me here - I can already feel some of you writing this off completely or already preparing to answer how impossible this is... what if I was ready to sacrifice portion of the combined I/O or computing power so I could set these 3 computers up in some form of "grid computing" (2-3 machines working as one)? Are there any solutions out there that could take care of the related problems (I/O error/fault handling, fragmentation, CPU governing, timing, synchronization.... all the stuff that sane and normal people don't have to worry about because it's already been taken care of on the lowest levels of programming/computing)?
I'm also thinking about the average consumer grade x86/x86_64 and ARM architecture here, not some exclusive spacegrade architectures normally used in supercomputers.7
So happy about being about to convince management that we needed a large refactor, due to requirements change, and since the code architecture from the beginning had boundaries built before knowing all the requirements...
pulled the shame on us, this is a learning lesson card.. blah blah blah
Also explained we need to implement an RTOS, and make the system event driven... which then a stupid programmer said you mean interrupt driven ... and management lost their minds... ( bad memories of poorly executed interrupts in the past).... had to bring everyone back down to earth.. explained yes it’s interrupt driven, but interrupt driven properly unlike in the past (prior to me)... the fuck didn’t properly prioritize the interrupts and did WAYYY too much in the interrupts.
Explained we will be implementing interrupts along side DMA, and literally no message could be lost in normal execution.. and explained polling the old way along side no RTOS, Wastes power, CPU resources and throws timing off.
Same fucker spoke up and said how the fuck You supposed to do timing, all the timing will be further off... I said wrong, in this system .. unlike yours, this is discreet timing potential and accurate as fuck... unlike your round robin while loop of death.
Anyway they gave me 3 weeks.. and the system out performs, and is more power efficient than the older model.
The interrupting developer, now gives me way more respect...4
A new system developed at CSAIL was shown to have stronger security guarantees than Intel's existing approach for preventing so-called "timing attacks" like Meltdown and Spectre, made possible by hardware vulnerabilities.
Image courtesy of Graz University of Technology7
Busy playing with HTML5's history api and content replacing. Got the timing on css animations perfectly so the transitions between pages are smooth as butter. Dont even notice the pages changing aside from the url. Shits pretty cool1
Why are companies so biased against employees those who come late and work late as compared to those who come early and leave early?
Why is it okay to leave early but not so much to come late instead?
After some of us ignored repeated warnings, we've been told that anyone come after 10:30am will be marked half day absent.
So, if they do so, I'll sit there in office playing Fifa or Table Tennis, and not work until the second half starts xD
The reason for such biasness is that the daily stand-up is at 10:30, even though more people wanted it to be after 11. They even took a vote. And yet it was ignored (funnily initially more ppl voted for 11 initially and somehow some of the votes changed for in favor of 10am... Now slowly, because half the team wouldn't be on time, it's shifted to 10:30am.
And funnily, I'm already serving notice period in this company.9
Fucking wanblows actually throttling requests on chrome. Every single website is timing out.
Opens edge: works flawlessly.
So I took a leave on 3/16 to attend an event.
I declared it in early February.
It was accepted and validated today, 3/23. Nice timing1
2 job offers on table.
One, where I'd to work on multiple technologies, comfortable timing i.e 6 - 7 hours a day. Enough time to do personal projects.
Other, I'd to work on single technology stack, but more complex and large projects. Good for architectural and design pattern knowledge. Better pay, but stressing work hours like 8-10 hours daily. Might be on weekends as well.
Help me out!18
Whose idea was to send an e-mail at 11pm about a dev job convention for this weekend!!! And on top of that there will be testing to weed out the candidates!
SIMPLY GREAT! I have to be off town for unavoidable family matters for three days without Internet connection...
Thanks a lot automated mail system for letting me know 4 days in advance that I will fail!!!
It's not that things were awful enough, now I have one more reason to be stressed, get more rashes and weep internally!
Question to all the Devs out there.....
What do you prefer???
A. Strict timing in the office (e.g. 9-6)
B. Deadline focused work any hours you want and beat the deadline.13
Fucking fuckers!!! Why the fuck EVERY time I work from home, there's gotta be some jackass with a leaf blower, drill or chainsaw...4
Why the hell does Google navigation always want to calibrate the phones compass when I just started driving?
Is it programmed like "Oh, didn't expect him to actually drive after he entered his destination, now quick, let me catch up on it now"?3
Had to be appcelerators titanium (weirdly I think this app was built with it).
I used it in the early days, before they had the foresight to add a date-time picker for Android.
It was a horrible unforgiving place, bugs on top of bugs, horrible documentation, incorrect instructions, and hacky workarounds posted as official installation instructions.
I'm not sure if it's gotten any better now, but I did give it a go again 2 years to update an app for someone. They made so many breaking changes, which is fine, but the new outcome offered less features and required more boilerplate code. I then spent (literally) 3 hours trying to get the Android simulator to run the app. Titanium just kept timing out and throwing incomprehensible errors. I eventually gave up and told my friend I updated it, it compiles but I can't test it.
Will never touch it again, and will never be used in any team I work for. Just awful.1
At this point there's a poo poking its nose out my butthole but only a few more minutes and I can finally see the output of this program, finish, go to the loo and then go home.3
Every time I see someone praising the intelligence of the algo I imagine dfox and trogus sitting there laughing their asses of trying their hardest not to tell everyone it isn't that intelligent just has convenient timing
Almost like the texts in school that were written for fun but the teachers somehow made up the authors whole life story just by reading a line.
Apologies if the algo really is this intelligent allmighty creature2
When it's early into the night
When the temperature is just right
When I'm surrounded by silence
And no distraction makes me defiance
When I'm feeling cozy and ready to read papers and program for my thesis
But I ruined the perfect night work genesis
BECAUSE I PROMISED TO GO TO MADAFUCKIN DINNER WITH FRIENDS
Usually my home internet download speed is around 800-900 KB/s
Then I purchased Academind and codewithmosh courses then tried to download the courses but the download speed became 63-90 KB/s wow nice 👺
Maybe because of the holiday. Hopefully the download speed will be ok tonight.
(I like watching downloaded tutorial videos)4
For an exam we have to develop an app starting from the documentation (still the hardest part), like risk plain, timing projection ecc. we did all this stuff in time, except for the app. At the ending of time the professor ask to us how the app was going, and well... we bluffed, we said that we only need more time (at that point we have only installed Android Studio and JFK) but the prof give us an other month for the app, so we decide (me and my friend because in my team (4students) only 2 of us want to do something.. btw we learn how to work on Android Studio an develop a ugly, tiny but working app (the app consists in a remainder for your pet stuff like give it food,water or take it out ecc..). We took the max vote -1 because u know, timing is important ;) and yes, this is the story of my first, ugly, app :D My friend an I are so proud of that tiny shit 😄1
I plan on going to office on time... I generally reach after 10:30, timing mentioned on my offer letter was 9:00.
So, waking up has never been an issue.
But I wake up, lay on my bed doing nothing... Sit on my bed doing nothing... Does everything in ultra slow motion...
And regardless of how I early I wake up I'm always late. Ugh.2
The feeling when you’re trying out a new thing as a developer and part of it is to use Google Cloud Platform and halfway through, Google starts vomiting errors and you can’t access any information and you think for a second that you broke Google before realizing that you’re not the only one having issues. #badtiming
"Git is timing out in this ubuntu Docker image I built, let's have the image use git bash instead"
Your pizza with Uxbridge is on its way and should be with you in -32 minutes.
Well the timing is accurate at least but the failure to name the vendor looks deliberate.1
I finally got my Visa sorted out (after 2 months) so I could finally get DevRant++ and as luck would have it the "Darkest dark" theme came out this same week!
The timing couldn't have been better and it looks incredible on my OLED screen!1
Me: HM let's fire up my old pirate game prototype and see if I can do anything with it before sea of thieves comes out and everyone says I'm copying...
*Turns on Xbox and goes to store*
Me: ah fuck!
Ok, I'm not saying there's a causal relationship here... I'm just going to say that the morning the VSCode Python extension is publicly moved in to the Microsoft product line, it starts devouring my resources by spawning a million instances of python.exe on startup. Computer unresponsive in minutes.
Again, I'm not *saying* there's a causal relationship... but I do find the timing somewhat suspicious.
me: getting really sick on the last day of vacation
also me: at 4am my brain is wake af trying to solve my programming problems.
bad timing brain!
My class schedule was really hard to figure out (since I'm a double major with tons of timing conflicts), so I made my computer do it for me. I was gonna make a GUI and sell it to my school, but I got distracted halfway through and never finished.
RIP schedule solver, I'll see you when it comes time to make next semester's schedule...
Awkward moments in an interview where the person was repeatedly saying that , "werr you coding in your old job ?", "Here you will be doing a lot of coding " and shit like that. When he asked about my hobby immediately after , i say i am a blogger. When i was asked what my last blog was it was awkward to mention that " How the word coding is offensive for software developer !"
Couldnt have asked for a better timing..4
Week ago, leader of the artifacts/packages storage and mirroring with animal in Logo, fucked up our testing enabling new feature on theirs SaaS.
We created a ticket, they managed to fix that, although it took them long time to do so, probably due to timezones as fix was simple click on their Admin area.
Today they forwarded us email that there will be some changes that can impact prod ...
Great timing, great ..
PagerDuty: "This shit's so slow your servers are timing out"
Dev Fix: "Let's add another layer of caching before the Redis cache!" 🤦♂️4
Having a headache for the 2nd day in a row. It will not help that I'll have to present something to my colleagues that I've worked on about a month ago.2
How is it that Facebook ads play right before the climax or high point of any video. Just when I'm interested to see what happens next, bam, like clock work, an ad pops up. It does not seem to be a fixed time, but more to do with the specific content of the video. Is it just me or is there some sinister algorithm at work that can detect the moment in a video the viewer will be most interested? so the viewer will have no choice but to sit through the advert to see what happens next. Or is the timing of the ad predetermined by some other means ?7
Make the analog clocks at work run faster. Might be able to do this with changing the timing crystal. Depends upon the clock I guess.10
I was not able to wake up on time, even the alarm was not helping.
So, I made a project for hours..
Searched for all the bugs...
solved all of them EXCEPT for one , which was the easiest one... then I went to bed
Next day I woke up before timing of alarm :)2
I have 4 years professional experience at a small shop working on a web application for property and liability insurance. The application is ASP.NET with C# as the code-behind. I have a BCS and will finish my MSIS fall 2017. I have no idea why I have the degrees. I know that when I enrolled, it seemed like they would be a nice addition to an otherwise empty resume. I was lucky enough to land my first and only development job during my sophomore year of my undergraduate program. Is this enough experience to land a new job?
I feel like I'm learning nothing at my current job. The specs that come in seem very vague to me. When asked for clarification, there is often push back, and I don't know whether that's because I don't have enough experience to parse what the client means in the two sentence spec I got or if it's because the client does not actually know what they want.
I hate my current job. My productivity is low because I spend more time trying to figure out what the client wants and analyzing an 8 year old system that has 0 documentation. I know some of you will just say, "Suck it up" at this point, but I really want another job. The only thing I like about this job is that it's 100% remote. It also pays $60k a year, so a replacement should be at least that salary.
Most postings I see require professional experience of 5 years or more, and knowledge of other frameworks. I can work on getting knowledge of the other frameworks, but will have no professional experience with them. I don't live in an area with a lot of software development jobs, and the ones I see are for non-IT organizations that want 1 person to run a distributed system from 10 or more locations. A hospital system out here wants to pay $30k a year for a guy to be both software developer for new tools as well as the helpdesk and IT support guy that's on-call for four locations in the county. I made more than that before I got into the development industry, for less work, and would rather leave than settle for something like that.
I've thought about moving to somewhere near San Francisco or San Jose, but I have my daughter to think about. I have joint custody of her, and would have to give that up in order to move out of the county.
I like programming and using it to solve problems. I like designing architectures and how all the components will interface. I like designing and normalizing databases. I like taking part in coding competitions for employers that are well-known (Amazon, Facebook, Uber, Twitch, etc.), even though I often just place middle of the pack. When that happens, I feel like I'm an imposter in this industry.
I think I have the most fun just working on small projects for personal use. My latest is an assistant calculator for the game Transport Fever to figure out cargo throughputs per annum based on the in-game timing information. Past projects have also been small. Ones I could use in a portfolio are a sudoku solver desktop application, PC/Web game in Unity that is a 3D FPS remake of Duck Hunt that allows open world exploration but locks the camera's viewpoint for shooting events, and a building assistant for Rome II: Total War that maps out all the bonuses/perks of user-specified building combinations in provinces so users can record their long term building plans without using all their turns to see the final results.
I seem to be an unproductive, average developer who dabbles in projects here and there.
This is what I want from other Ranters. Just say something. I don't care if it is, "Suck it up and get better." It could be your tips for finding and securing a new position. It could even be empathy, if such a thing exists on the Internet. Whatever you want, just say something that will help get me thinking of what the next steps in my career should be.1
Time to grab your attention again with another socially inappropriate really old joke. Hey didn't you hear me with your headphones on?
My studies at the university begin in two weeks in a city 4 hours from where I live and I still have no place to stay! I am such an idiot for applying for appartments and rooms too late... and when I did, I only applied for 2 or 3 at a time and now I didn't get any of them. I had to travel there two times now already, each trip cost me 100€ and my time is running out.
FUUUUUUUUCK I hate myself right now, this is so typical for me...
I really hope I learn from this.6
Had a Nas with a single 3tb seagate HDD in it.
It ran well for half a year and it was my main backup and a time machine for my dad.
The time came that my budget was allowing a second drive for redundancy so I powered it off, added the second drive and powered it back on.
The drive did indeed die and yes, it was one of those drives with an extremely high failure rate.
My dad was pretty mad that his backups were gone even though he didn't need them.
So my biggest lesson from this was to always encrypt such drives because dads backup wasn't and my files and such weren't either, so someone could restore our hole life's from the drive.
So I can't Rma that fucker.
Zfs at rest encryption ftw!
By the way, writing this I noticed that I didn't need to power the Nas down to add the second drive....
Another more recent thing was a refurb 4tb we red that I bought used for a bargain.
It reported 2 unwritable sectors but I didn't care for the money.
After about a month, it died.
The interesting part is how it died.
It spinns up, gets detected, you can access the data.
You can copy the data.
But after a few moments of continues load, all operations start timing out and the drive either disconnects completely or the zpool degrades and shuts down.
In the first case, replugging brings the drive back untill it does it again.
On zpool degradation only a reboot brings it back.
Put a fan on it in case it was overheating but that didn't fix it.4
How much time do you take usually to code a backend with simple crud operations and notification system?
It's taking me some time, but I feel I'm going too slow...7
Is it possible to record the time a thread spends processing only it's code?
E.g. capture sys.ms in thread A -> A is sliced and thread B runs -> B is sliced -> A comes back and captures current sys.ms. The resulting delta of Anow - Ainit includes the time that B spent on the machine.
Is it possible to account for this and get just the time A spent processing?
Is this doable on any other languages?
If it is or isn't, any documentation or papers explain why is appreciated. Google is flooded with "how to time" questions so I'm not seeing any answer for this.7
When my friend finishes an amazing project and I can't even decide which project to pursue and can keep myself stuck to whenever I code (having college rarely helps with timing and such). Meh, that's gonna change soon. Gotta exercise some good ol' responsibility.
Not really the worst but it happened last week. Our lead Dev reviewed a pull request based on works that have been validated several times.
Suddenly, 5 minutes before leaving to take a plane for the week, he tells me that everything is to be refactored because it has no semantical sense, even if it worked perfectly and could be refactored later.
He told me that the day before the delivery and rewriting and restesting everything that had been done took 2 days, several out of worktime hours and huge stress phases. The delivery had to be delayed twice.
I'm easily stressed and a lot of things went by with bad timing (one other coder who could help me was not present, another had to leave early for his kids etc...)
That refactoring was unnecessary but it gave a bad impression to our client and made feel bad fr something I wasn't responsible for.2
So I wanted to make a Commodore 64 game, and I decided to use cc65, since I don’t want to use assembly.
First, I tried to position text, and I tried to use CSI escape codes, but that didn’t work.
I forgot to look at the examples, and then saw a lot of helper functions, which were nice.
Next, I tried to do some timing. sleep can only do seconds, so I wanted to use usleep, but they didn’t port it...
Moral of the story: ~~look at the docs~~ don’t make C64 games
Wasted a full day on creating complex code which handles manually timing and updating tokens, since the android GoogleSignInClient seemed not to allow the google server to respond with a refreshtoken. Turns out the only thing i would need to change is adding a true-boolean parameter in one of the GoogleSignIn(for android) functions
How do I go about taking up a job that I might only want to do temporarily but the company X may have a long(er) term expectation? I can't wrap my head around it.
Also the other company Y in which I am much more interested, but still didn't reply to my email after 2 days. So I am stalling with X before taking it up...
I hate this timing tactics. I feel like I am playing a strategy game.3
The timing for this weekly rant is quite perftect, as I have actually just finished rewriting JavaRant! :D I redid a lot of work tried to make it very easy to use, and I think it has improved a lot.
This was also a nice occasion for me to set up Jenkins on my personal server to use that as a CI server (not that it's really necessary, but it is fun).
If you like it, check it out on github: https://github.com/LucaScorpion/...
And feedback/help is of course always welcome!
I have been coding exclusively in Python on competitive programming websites. So far I haven't faced any issues w.r.t timing. Is it worth switching to c/c++?5
I love to build (full stack) 2 whole complex websites simultaneously after 4 months of lacking work and waiting for project plans. And both with deadlines in 2 weeks.
Just why can't our PMs do their job and make usable timings?
instant coffee isn't reeeeally instant, is it 🤔? I guess depends on when you start timing and whether time is continuous or stops at planck's constant or so1
Is it server maintenance time in the UK after 1 am? I can't reach my GoDaddy cPanel and my energy provider's login keeps timing out.
In the midst of writing a book review of Atomic Design by Brad Frost. Work in Progress and he announced he is extending the book in honor of it's 6th year anniversary. Perfect timing: http://bradfrost.com/blog/post/...
Bad (or at least uninformed due to unclear requirements) design decisions lead to somewhat perplexing (and above all, frustrating) problems down the line...
Here I am, wrote a cli client for event bus subscription, and since EC2 is eqv to Docker, had to fix the main function to keep it alive - now the deploy stage on the ci/cd pipeline fails due to startup script timing out. But why tho?
I’m not really sure whether I should’ve designed this differently from the get-go or whether my build and deploy configs don’t match anymore due to recent changes and I should figure out what’s wrong with them... or both.
Bottom line is: I have no idea what I’m doing.9
Does anyone else contemplate timing their Github commits for the next year or so so that there will be a shaded picture when someone looks at their profile?
Just got assigned a ticket from a client, who described their issue with a very informative note that says:
[site name] keeps timing out
This is actually probably related to another issue I'm trying to fix (though I'm sure client doesn't know that), so if I'm lucky I'll be able to figure this out. But it seriously peeves me when clients give us a four word generic problem and expect us to just wave our magic wand to fix it
i'm new on here and just was wondering why they don't date or give the timing of rants as i was looking at some of the site. Not that it's important but speaking of dates....I think we've been in this shutdown LONG ENOUGH and this is the 11th of Apr. and they're adding on more time still when at first we were to get this over with by Apr. 3 now the end of April and now even out here where i live in So. Cal. universal Studios announced (i guess) they're shutting through end of May? Oh yeh-is that a Bright Airy future outlook to say that this virus is just going to wipe more out; keep wearing them masks and obey the stay at home rules and now you got this Hydroxy...you know that one that appears to be a positive drug to "work" to actually look safe enough to try or administer, how about giving that to the people that may want it instead of we've seen some bitter bulking at that very Hydroxy...look at the 1 governor or whomever threaten to strip the license right out of that person for bringing it up! Woooo instead ya got Mr Gates not even a physician talking all these rules of forced vaccines (again??) oh yeh NOT ME! This is now a politicized coronavirus and i watched a video and I believe it!!! The test conducted at the beginning of all this was tested incorrectly and it goes on and on and now we're in this lockdown as if there's power in them numbers keeping this thing going going gone to the biggest numbers where not enough medical equipment's cried out, lines out the A__ and then finding the opposite when people have followed up on all these leads of all over the Country where all this overflood of viral is running. Don't tell me i don't have the facts, because wth does at this juncture or at this very present night to where this is sickening. Yes, there's been patients or people Human Beings that have contracted it but let's just get some real information that i just have to know to what it is thus far isn't correct. And we need to get going, get your livilihood (spell check that word) GOING and LESS FEAR because from the people that want to run all this, they look power hungry to keep it going like the one guy said 'we don't have a choice' when it comes to this will play out 12 to 18 months. OH? YOU MAY HAVE LOSER CHOICE but WE DON'T!!! And it ain't playing out neither the 18 or 12...you know what they want it to run into the election process is what they want. Plus the idea to lock us down huh? And the day by days going by are going to only allow more freedoms to l-o-s-e!8
A guy in our school library is doing his senior thesis,guess what...legendary bluescreen.The guy was so pissed off thanks to brilliant coding of windows,it knows the perfect timing when to fuck up people LOL1
I... actually got something done on the PS3 N64 front, holy fuck. The guys behind Wii64 made a port for PS3 but it was terrible, so no source release. Now, 9 years later... plus my classes end soon... perfect timing to go kick some Playstation ass!
My work laptop broke over the weekend and now I have to use a replacement device… (cue the horror film music) …with Windows 10! (no, not 3628800)
So far I've gone mad about 20 times, including white font on white background, Chrome freezing on login, blurry font, Edge and Bing being opened all the time, displaying the "Users" folder as "Benutzer", despite it not being named that, …
I thought I could avoid Windows 10, I'll leave this company in a few months anyway. But no, the old laptop decided to die with almost the worst possible timing. At least it wasn't early May, then I'll write my final exams, including a five-day-project.
Also, who thought it was a good idea to put the "End" button NOT at the end of the keyboard? I've remapped it on three of my four laptops so far (one already had this arrangement), but on this one I don't even have admin rights. So I press the wrong button every minute or so.1