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Confession: I am not a dev, I actually work on an IT helpdesk telling people how to turn on their PC's everyday.
It's soul destroying!!
My boyfriend is an Apple dev though, and I only joined DevRant to see if it would help me understand what he talks about 24/7...
I have very basic coding knowledge but still find this all so fascinating!
You guys are so smart, and can literally create anything in the blink of an eye.
Why are you guys generally so very under appreciated??
You also have a fantastic sense of humour! Haven't laughed at so many nerd-jokes in years!
Loving DevRant so far!
Keep up the great work! :)32
Senior dev : * doesn't use git *
Me: you seriously should use git...
Senior dev: * still doesn't use git *
Senior dev: * overwrites production files with old files from other computer *
Senior dev: * talks to boss *
Boss: * gets angry at me *11
I'm at my seat during the regular morning routine of checking emails, planning the things I need to complete/study when my phone rings.
HR: Good Morning, can you come over to the conference room please ?
I enter the conference room and on the other side of the table, I see a group of 3 HR Managers (not a very nice feeling), especially when it was 10 months into my first job as a Trainee Software Developer.
HR: The company hasn't been performing as expected. For this reason, we've been told to cut down our staff. We're sorry but we have to let you go. You've been doing a great job all along. Thank you.
Me: ---- (seriously ?!)
The security-in-chief 'escorts' me out of the premises and I hand over the badge. I'm not allowed to return to my desk.
This happened about 16 years ago. But it stuck with me throughout my programming career.
A couple of Lessons Learnt which may help some of the developers today :
- You're not as important as you think, no matter what you do and how well you do it.
- Working hard is one thing, working smart is another. You'll understand the difference when your appraisals comes around each year.
- Focus on your work but always keep an eye on your company's health.
- Be patient with your Manager; if you're having a rough time, its likely he/she is suffering more.
- Programming solo is great fun. However it takes other skills that are not so interesting, to earn a living.
- You may think the Clients sounds stupid, talks silly and demands the stars; ever wonder what they think about you.
- When faced with a tough problem, try to 'fix' the Client first, then look for a solution.
- If you hate making code changes, don't curse the Client or your Manager - we coders collectively created a world of infinite possibilities. No point blaming them.
- Sharing your ideas matter.
- Software Development is a really long chain of ever-growing links that you may grok rather late in your career. But its still worth all the effort if you enjoy it.
I like to think of programming as a pursuit that combines mathematical precision and artistic randomness to create some pretty amazing stuff.
Thanks for reading.16
Senior IT engineer enters the room and quietly talks to a coworker about a job related issue.
Another coworker decided to troll the sysadmin.
CW: *yells* "Open a ticket!" (That's the sysadmin's regular reply)
CW: *trying to get his attention* "Open a ticket first! Then come back"
IT: *gives him the stare of death*
CW: "Go away and open a ticket!"
IT: *silently leaves the room*
After no more than a minute CW gets a reject from all networks outside the company's VPN.
IT comes back into the room, get's intimately close to CW's ear and says "Now open a ticket".
People like this disgust me. I know one guy I worked with that bought his kid one of these, I asked him what for and he said: "there's that fortnite game everybody talks about"
(context: I'm from Germany)
The interview was going well, their developer and I had good talks about their stack and projects, I thought I was making a good impression.
Then the HR guy had some Qs. He went through my CV, wanted to know why I left company X and what I did at company Y. He seemed quite impressed with the work experience I already had (the job I was applying for was an entry level position).
For education I had an entry at a university. "courses in computer science". He asked:
"And you finished the Bachelor's degree, right?"
Me, "well, no. I stopped after about 2 semesters. I'm a self-taught developer, all my skills..."
HR guy interrupts
"So, no bachelor's degree?"
"No, but I figured out that I am a much better learner outside of university and that I don't want to go into research."
"Thank you for coming in, we'll get back to you soon."
As a conclusion: I learned that german companies are still very traditional and search for employees with degrees. They don't understand how you'd know stuff if you don't have a degree.
Good thing: we also have international companies, which are happy to welcome enthusiastic and self-taught developers.26
I have this one friend who thinks he is a tech guru just because he plays video games a lot and started to study cs for one year. Now he got a job as sysadmin and it is funny to hear him brag about the job in front of non-tech people because he sounds like a CSI Cyber episode, just throwing tech words at the people and I know that he talks bullshit.
But I have to admit, he knows how to sell himself. Probably that's how he got the job in the first place because it cannot be his experience.
Yesterday he called me, to help him edit something on a linux server. I told him "To edit the file type 'vi FILENAME' and then you can edit. I have to go now, I have a meeting." :]23
Sharing a short story.
Time: 1:30 am
Conversation between me and a night watchman in my society.
I was walking and this watchman suddenly stopped me and started asking questions.
Watchman: Isn't it late at 1:30am. When do u sleep?
Me: I sleep very late (replied in a very uninterested manner)
Watchman: Which year are you?
Me: Final year of Graduation
Watchman: Which branch?
Me: (a bit annoyed now) Software Engineering
Watchman: So you know programming?
Me: (little shocked that he knows what's programming) Learning
Watchman: So, do your university teaches C, Python and UNIX?
Me:(completely shocked by his knowledge) Yup. Except UNIX, others yes.
Watchman then asked some fees related questions and placements scope.
I was annoyed when he approached me for a little talk.. But had a wonderful experience talking to this person. It's great when you meet such unexpected person having such knowledge.
When I asked him how he knows all these, he said he talks like this to many students and learnt it.
His last line to me when I said that you know a lot, was:
Sir, you are the ocean, I am a needle in it.
Truly awesome moment... Never judge anyone by looks or his occupation... Knowledge is something that anyone anywhere can gain...
Respect to that watchman...5
Me: "I'm a programmer"
Others: talks about linux
Others: search algorithms!
Others: service infrastructure
Others: memory optimization
Me: "I'm a front end web developer"
Others: complex services
Others: strong user form validation
Others: lazy loading
Me: "fucking, I make shit look pretty alright"11
Please don't make junior developers feel they're a burden.
Have you ever googled "how to mentor junior developers"? It's quite mind-blowing how many articles, talks and panels are on this topic. And yet still junior developers are not feeling welcomed in their companies.
Yup, you guessed it, we also have something to add (based on our own experience):
1. Asking for help is not easy. Please don't blow juniors off by telling them to read docs when they ask a question. Always assume they've read it and did a sprint to solve the problem. They ask you, because they see you as a mentor and really need your help. If you can, spend more time with them and guide through the entire problem solving process.
2. Please don't think "I learnt it this way so you should too". If you're in charge of teaching a junior developer, don't expect them to be a carbon copy of yourself. Because even though in your opinion your approach is more "pro", they might not be there yet to use it properly. And last, but not least:
3. Of course, juniors will compare themselves with seniors on their team. And there'll be moments they feel so guilty and so afraid that they cost the company too much, that they need training, and supervision, or are between projects and are not bringing in any money, and they'll fear that their company regrets hiring them. Make sure they don't feel like a burden. As juniors, we often
have this misconception what is expected from us.
Dear tech companies, please set very clear expectations and tell your juniors you're happy. Don't get us wrong here. We don't expect unicorns, roses and pats on the back from companies. We do understand- this is business, and at the end of the day we all are here to make money. To do so, companies need to make smart investments. Junior dev with a great assistance, planned support, and a clear training program will become a great asset. It really is as simple as that.15
When I was 14, I was bad at many things. I sucked at sports cause I was weak and small. School was boring so I did not study. I mostly played games.
During a summer break, I wanted to change shit in WarCraft 3, as I heard from a friend that heard it from a friend, that you can do that. Many internet searches later I realised that you kind of just tell to the game what you want it to do, just simplified. If (target is enemy) do damage, for (every human player) make sparkly stuff...
After months of "playing" games, the new school year started and I got, for the first time, a proper computer class. Imagine my surprise when we started doing the shit I did all summer. That year I had 100% on all tests.
Many years later programming gave me friends, made my inner nerd and geek come out, gave me a free trip to the USA to represent my country, two TEDx talks, and finally a job that I like with the pay I can live with.11
!Rant Read this somewhere on the internet.
Machine learning is like teenage sex: everyone talks about it, nobody really knows how to do it, everyone thinks everyone else is doing it, so everyone claims they are doing it...4
When my programmer boyfriend talks about his code, all I say is "That's so cool, babe," because I have no idea what he's even talking about.
He could be telling me he blew up a server.
"That's so cool, babe."
(I love you, though, darling x)9
Inspired by @h3ll, this is a combination of current and former coworkers:
This guy has the social skills of a microwaved dog turd. He is a genius, but working with him is about as uncomfortable as sticking a grill skewer in your eye and twisting it repeatedly until close of business. He laughs at inappropriate times, and every time he does, an unborn child tears its own ears off. He explains things in a way that only himself and Satan understand, then talks to you like you're a child when you don't follow his logic. He is the guy you hide when the CEO is around. His code is immaculate.
This bowl of bile is the son of a bitch that takes credit for everybody else's work. When you do something good, he was miraculously involved, but when you mess up, this twat is the dicknose that brings it up in retrospective and calls you out by name to the boss. You can usually find these guys talking shit about the CTO, until the boss quits. Then they buddy up with the CTO and become a Joel Osteen-esque evangelist for everything the CTO wants in a shitty, underhanded attempt to climb the ladder. Fuck this guy.
This coworker used to teach Computer Science classes. Their resume is amazing, and they can speak to the most complex of design principles. This is the shitstain that you hire because of their skill and knowledge only to find out that ol' fuckwaffle can't apply the shit they spout to save their wretched lives. You'll spend more time listening to fuckwaffle lecture than you will reviewing their code (because they cant fucking write any!) You know the saying, those who can, do, and those who can't, teach? Yeah, that shit was written for Fuckwaffle.
Last but not least:
This guy isn't even a coder. This guy is worse than the the scum you pour out of the bottom of a slow-cooker that you forgot to wash last time you made chicken. He's a non-technical PM. You know the type, right? He usually says "cloud infrastructure," "paradigm," "algorithm," "SDLC," etc but has no grasp of any of them. He often opens his dumpster to spout off something like "You can just create a new class for that" while talking about HTML. I won't waste any more breath on Scrumdumb, he already creates enough work for me.3
Disclaimer: kinda non dev related. Just working to pay the bills right now.
The other day I ran for the train to work, don't want to be fucking late, right?
Arrived and this guy asked me this: (I have a sweating/transpiration problem but I'm fully aware of that)
"hey man, ever heard of fucking showers or deodorant?!"
Yes, I was sweating my ass off and you could smell me but I can't FUCKING help that.
It was very embarrassing and humiliating to get that kinda comment in front of like 30 people but I just swallowed it and went to work.
After the first break, a woman from management came to me and pulled me aside. A few people had complained about how that guy from before said some pretty humiliating stuff to me and she said that the guy received a warning and was told to fucking learn to treat people with respect, regardless of their (health) issues/appearance. I also got an apology and a sorry and if I could keep my eyes open for such behaviour in the future.
I'm very glad that she apologized although it wasn't her fault because I know I've got this health issue and I can't do anything about it yet but it can MOTHERFUCKING hurt when someone talks shit about me when I smell and I CAN'T FUCKING HELP IT BECAUSE THIS IS THE WAY MY BODY WORKS TOO BADLY.
I felt protected and safe about my issue for the first time in my life.
Most memorable coworker? Definitely one of our devs in the first company I worked at. He was around fifty, quirky as fuck but damn knowledgeable about pretty much everything. Think some kind of uncle Iroh who could build his own compiler.
I haven't learned as much from university as I learned from our talks during smoking breaks. He never judged anyone for not knowing something (even really basic stuff) and was actually happy if he could help. Now, a few years later I still find myself applying techniques for conceptualizing software he explained to me on the balcony and I have to say I wouldn't be half the dev I am today if I'd have never met him so I guess that counts as memorable.5
!rant I got permission from @dfox for this.
I'm a visual learner and like to see and hear what I'm being taught. I also am fed up with StackOverflow.. plus, it lacks in detailed learning and best practices. I created a new platform that allows you to view and create live talks for development discussions, demos, and presentations. Think of it like a 24/7 dev conference.
I'm releasing it early to devRant users. Just note, that it is in early beta but I do regular releases.
Go ahead and start creating your talks at http://unityco.de17
Every programmer has to see this. (copy paste link below in a browser).
Not a rant - just wondering if anyone else witnessed a really awkward closing talk at a conference.
Attended a mandatory JS conference yesterday where all the speakers gave the typical conference talks on new ideas, frameworks, packages with code demonstrations. Most of talks were great and the some of the speakers were extremly humorous making the whole audience laugh which is hard to do. The talk right before the keynote speaker was like this.
Then the keynote started...
The end presenter was an asian-american woman (normally would not metion race/ gender but it’s important to the story) whose talk was basically how the white males of the world are controlling tech an their bias and privilege are marginalizing the rest of us who are not white american ‘cis-males’
She had no data and weak examples, such as sensors on automatic soap despeners not working on darker skins tones (that’s not racist it’s physics). Another example was a plugin where true=male and false=female. That is not gender biased it’s just lazy programming.
At one point she said:
“Have you even been to a party at a rich white guy’s house? There boring! I’m sorry”
This was just a talk about her feelings, if I was not surrounded by my coworkers I would have left.
I feel like this was not appropiate talk for one track conference since it traps everyone into listening. Especially where attendance is obligatory by your employer.
The conference should have warned people it would be an uncomfortable talk and invite people to start happy hour early if they chose.
To add to the weirdness in the closing remarks of one of the organizers patted himself on the back for supplying the women’s bathroom with tampons. He even created a slide for it with a tampon illustration.
Example slide from her deck.72
I made a program that dispenses coins in 345 lines. It tells you if the coin tray is in place, and if it didn't dispense enough coins it will tell you how many successfully dispensed. It also has ACK\NAK communication. It's written in C for a specialized microcontroller.
I have written code that talks to 4 devices, but this is the only one I have written the code for. In 2 years it has never had a bug, and always responds quickly and correctly via RS 232.
I've had two different old coworkers that liked to yell at their computers. The first was a grayed biker who always wore a spiked leather jacket and could never understand what you say the first time do to his massive concerts in his youth. He used to swear some of the worst obscenities and slam his keyboard. He was actually a really nice guy.
The second used to make up obscenities. Myself and another coworker would keep mental logs of the things he said. The best was "fuckbats", we had many long talks about what a "fuckbat" would be and it's general elusiveness. He was also a nice guy, really one of the nicest devs I've ever worked with, he just got really intense under pressure.3
I'm a bad influence.
It's been a tradition for me to keep a bottle of 'desk whiskey' buried in a drawer at work. A couple weeks ago, I started inviting cube mates over for a drink on Fridays as five pm rolled around.
Soon one of them brought in a bottle of scotch. Then another.
Started observing the afternoon drink on days other than Friday, more folks got involved...
Now the CTO talks about "Whiskey O' Clock" daily.
I sit near a Spanish guy who talks to himself under his breath when writing code, I think its mostly swearing. You would think this would be annoying but I have grown fond of it as he sounds like a ninja, and its most entertaining to sit back and listen some times.5
Sometimes when people ask what I do for I living I say: talks to machines.
Thats what we do, we know the langauage to tell the machines what to do, how cool isnt that??8
Everybody talks about burnout syndrome or crappy tech interviews, but not about a real struggle for devs, bubbles in their laptop stickers.3
Dead 💀 developer.
My first interview,
Back then was technical graduated local CompSchool. Call for a job newspaper, by phone ☎️ the Supervisor assign a date for interview.
In the office the developer guy was amaze because he will hire any from CompSchool he also was student and all stuff made was on the premised of he learned and worked on the company.
About half and hour talks, he write my name on a post-it and put on HR desk.
“Come back tomorrow morning .. tell me you got the job !”
Do so, entering the office next day, was a sad people talking.. the Developer is 💀 dead (drugged on a party).
So this guy “my name in the post-it” is our salvation for all the database, passwords, accounting, etc. and spell my name.
What tha... got the job, the money 💴, was 18 years old, with excessive income (dead guy salarie).
Worked 3 1/2 years for the company.
Thank you 💀 for the opportunity.11
A brilliant article that talks on the state of internet
The Bullshit Web - https://pxlnv.com/blog/...
Tldr: as internet speed increased, page loading time did not decrease because the extra bandwidth is being stuffed with unnecessary big scripts and autoplaying videos.
AMP is nothing more than a business tactic by Google26
Before Corona: (Work From Office)
Boss: Let's have a call.
Me: Sure, allow me some time I am assisting the team on a new feature in the app.
Boss: Ok, ping me as you get free.
Now: (Work From Home)
Boss: ***Calls for the 15th time in a day...***
Me: (With Bleeding Ears) Yes sir, am here...!
(Having to pick up every single time as he knows you've got nowhere to go 'coz the whole city is in LockDown)
Boss: ***Talks for another 1 hour with screen share***
My Boss is a bigger threat to my health than Corona now!!!
My colleges and I were talking about salaries in our company. Our team as about 10 members. Many of us are receiving interesting offers from other companies, and we concluded that we were being underpaid.
In this life, unless you ask to, no boss will raise you, even if you put some extra effort and work the shit out of you, to bring that profit, new client or something else good to the company.
Nobody was interested in talking directly about that to our manager. Just a side note, our manager is an awesome senior developer and a very nice guy. It shouldn't be too hard to talk about this issue to him.
I waited until our annual performance and salary revision to talk about it. Everyday our team talks about this. Everyone is going crazy.
So I went straight to the point, during this meeting with our manager, and said that we needed to be raised. All of us, because other companies were offering much better salaries.
He said to me: "Take this paper, write down what value should every one receive, including myself."
I took this opportunity and put down the values, raising about 600€ for each one.
I looked at it and said: "This looks ok. I'll will ask your colleagues to do the same task. Wait here."
So he went and requested everyone to do the same thing, without explaining why.
Guess what happened? Some mother fuckers actually cut on others salaries, instead of raising everyone equally.
Anyway the manager said he would show that to the CEO, and maybe something would happen.
We were all raised in the values I said so, because the CEO want us to be among the companies that pay the most.
After the backstabbing, no one ever talked about that. Except for 3 good fellow developers, that thanked me for my initiative.11
Fresh internship story/conversation (Part 1)
- "Can you hack someone via cmd?"-cheap coworker at my internship workplace
- "Can you hack the NSA from any device?"-cheap coworker
- "Can the police identify me, if my face is on a Youtube video?"-cheap coworker
- "I can see all devices I have been through when I want to connect to a target as a route.
*talks about hops in a trace route, but uses non-technical terms for it*
*uses "ping host wikihow.com" instead of "tracert wikihow.com" to demonstrate it, besides of that "host" was not supposed to be there in that command*
*he had to google how to use the ping command on Windows*
*finally uses the ping command properly*
"Here, you can see all the devices our machine has connected to to reach the target"
ME: Aha. But dude... you know that all these ip adresses are in fact the same ip. These IPs are not any different. They are all the same. Besides of that this IP is the IP of this *points to domain name on windows cli* domain.
Him: Oh... I had a friend named ... *continues telling me some "hacker stories" from his past*
Me: *ignores him and always just responds with "Aha" to him* -cheap coworker
- "You have programming classes? You must be an expert in Excel then, right?" -internship boss3
1. That my code would compile.
2. See #1.
3. See #1.
The girl I'm talking to said her brother was giving her one of those talks about how all boys are gross and want sex. I told her that the one thing I want is for my code to fucking compile12
After two extensive talks with a potential employer (they lasted for hours), I decided to accept the offer, although the salary was ~25% lower than at my previous job. Everything else sounded fantastic and I needed that desperately since at the previous company everything was toxic for years.
These new guys wanted a senior php dev because they had none of them, except only wordpress and drupal people who were not skilled enough to take other types of projects (they called them "custom php"). I liked it and thought I'm gonna shine there and quickly earn a raise because the agency will start earning more by getting projects that they were unable to even bid for.
First day at work and I got assigned to a new Drupal project, although it was supposed to be a simple restful API for a simple iOS app. It could be done in a week or less, with no rushing at all. But it had to be Drupal. And I happened to be around to hear that there is a queue of Drupal projects waiting. After 2 days leaving the office late and having my brain melted by nonsense I was looking at, I quit the job.
No offense to Drupal people, I really do admire you, but I just could not stand it after 8 years "doing custom php". It felt too much like being downgraded. But more than that I was pissed off by the fact that I have been shamelessly lied to and tricked to accept something I clearly said that I dont want.
This happened a year ago. I now earn 2.5x more money than those guys offered and work in a very healthy environment. In the meantime, I heard that the other guys shut their company down.2
This happened a while back but thought it would be an interesting story.
So there is this guy, I'll call him Jack. Jack was a weirdo. He just graduated high school but thought of himself as very hot in terms of dev skills. He boasted lots of good programs, that are the best in industry, except they don't work (like the best proven file compressor, that just can't decompress anything because of some "bugs"). He also entered language holy wars quite actively, saying that Delphi is the best platform ever.
Aaanyway, a couple of years pass. Jack is now a student. Jack tries to make some money, so he talks to some guy, that offers him a "job" at the tax office, where he has to modernize the data infrastructure of the tax authorities. If you think this sounds very wrong, then you're 100% correct. But it gets better. After 2 months of work, the guy manages to do that. It's a simple CRUD application after all.
So everything works, but the guy who gave him this job refused to pay. He stalled and then just stopped answering the phone. Jack is now furious. So what he does, is publish the databases online, so everyone could see the income of every citizen. Authorities are in panic. They send the police to his door. They seize his computer and lock him up for a few days.
To sum it all up: Jack took up a job, without any contract, without any NDA, which is completely illegal in of itself, but he did that with the tax authority. And delivered the product before getting paid. And when he understood that he was owned, he published all online. He got bit back. The guy who gave him this job had no consequences for illegally hiring someone and not paying for their work.
Lesson: Don't be Jack11
This morning I kept falling back asleep after the alarm went off, drifting in and out of a dream about programming.
My wife finally said "no more sleeping".
Still mostly sleep, I replied very confidently "you can't sleep in a sandbox!".
I was dreaming I was in a code sandbox. Obviously sleeping is not allowed.
Jeez, my head has been really full of programming since this conference. (One of the talks was on codesandbox).
Before I took on my current position (internal transfer), I stated that for what my boss asked for I would need a small team.
He agreed to that and promised I would get 2-3 developers.
6 months after (with countless reminders) he told me I could train some people at one of our providers.
Turns out those guys were Java developers, even though I asked for C# (since our codebase is .net)
After a few training sessions, where concepts as source control were a big topic ("why not just copy the code to a new folder with _good_ naming?"), I gave them a test assignment.
After reviewing their code I just gave up. They cannot program. They don't understand concepts like scoping of variables. Concepts of separation of responsibility.
I told my boss this but I had to make it work with them.
I went to my bosses boss (Head of IT) with my resignation in hand, since I felt my boss didn't want to support me actually getting a team. After a few talks I was asked to "keep it cool" and wait until he presented his new organization.
Now my boss asked me for which skills new developers should have. To which I could just laugh at him and forward countless mails from the last 6-8 months asking for developers.
<Irony>I love my boss</Irony>6
My boss is Russian and he sits right next to me. He often talks to himself in Russian (while typing furiously). makes me think he is casting a spell for his code to attack. lol13
Met a Project Manager (at a friend's party) who had transitioned to a PM role from a developer role (most probably he wrote shitty code)
Smartass PM to me (after I told I code for living) : I really pity poor programmers and I feel sorry for them, the work they do, the effort they put in l, it's just now worth it
Me : yes you are right if we don't code PM are just not worth it, I understand it's a skill to talk about deadlines and features and what not, but the Pre-requisite is that some one would code it first. Also coding is not that anyone can do, I do it because I enjoy it, I m just not meant for superficial talks and I love building things, that's y I do it..
Smartass PM : (dumbstuck)
After half an hr of bullshit conversation...smartass PM has realized it by now that in Silicon Valley (where we live) it's much cooler to be a developer than being a PM (he has recently moved from east coast)...
PM to me : I just live on stack-overflow
Me thinking : Really !!
People should not compare their career paths, every one has their interest and personality
The whole channel is a sub recommendation anyway, as they always publish great talks and videos for webdev and more.
Invited by a company who desperately needed me to fix their messed up code and the reception lady talks crap and threatens me.
Guess who is not replying to their emails ever?4
A company gave a placement talk in college today.
First, they talked about their company's facts and figures, which no one was interested in.
Second, they talked about Amazon and Jeff's vision, AirBnB and their revolutionary idea, more than their own company and products.
Third, they showed some testimonial videos of their employees and customers.
"What the fuck is going on?" I thought. We were there to get information about a placement test.
Buzzwords started coming in. Machine Learning, Artificial Intelligence, Big Data and what not.
Last 15 minutes, a guy came. He talked about test date, test format and test topics, finally.
An hour and half wasted for 15 minutes of information.
Fuck placement talks.35
I am on the fucking verge of throwing my coffee cup at a coworker.
I am sitting in an office with someone who has to vocalise everything that he thinks.
It started this morning, I was trying to solder the board on my headphones, because there was a cable that had come loose, and every fucking time that I start, some shithead phones, and then a few minutes later, he comes in and talks shit. Burnt myself.
Now I am trying to maintain some code, and every fucking time I start typing and getting into my code, the need to talk has to fucking arise. I have literally thrown the last 45 minutes out of the window because I cannot fucking concentrate. Nothing helps. Throwing a coffee cup will probably just inspire more to talk about.
Phenomenal, another motherfucker just came into my office and decided that it is decent to use the phone to phone his buddies.
Fuck this shit.10
Decided I'm going to tell my boss I'm no longer going to do wordpress.
It all started innocently, like helping someone find an option or something, but now I have to write plugins...
Not part of the deal.
I've also got 0 motivation to go to work since starting this shitty project. I used to want to go to work and looked forward to helping out, but this is just soul numbing.
Let's see how that goes (either tomorrow or Wednesday).
I'll let you guys know if I get fired :p14
Wanted to live outside the US. Was dating a Korean girl who moved back to Korea and was like why the hell not, let's go.
Worked at an American company that had a Korean office, so i thought it'd be easy mode. Took a working vacation to that office and interviewed. Brain froze on basic algorithms stuff - binary search. Failed to understand a logic question. But oddly enough, did well communicating with Korean developers with limited English knowledge.
Director talks to me at the end of the day, tells me they're looking for someone more senior. I bombed it, not mad.
Then he tells me he has a friend at one of the largest companies in Korea and that he'll be there to talk to me in two hours.
Chat with the dude. Supposedly, the larger company culture blows, but he has a little haven of badass developers and is known throughout the company for being an effective team builder. We talk for 90 minutes, and he days he'll hire me. Take a short online test to make sure I'm not a derp. Four months later, living in Korea and working, alas, sans girlfriend.
Been a year now. Ends up the company culture eventually crushed my boss. He was moved off the project, and then the project was scrapped. Yet they're starting a new project with the same group plus more because logic.
Today accepted an offer at a smaller company for a salary equal to my current salary plus bonus. Also, vidya gaems yayy.
I have got to have the silliest luck5
No one talks about the health of programmers, rsi and carpel tunnel syndrome is real... health should be paramount4
So... I've seen my dad talking a lot about quantum computers, and it's getting quite embarrassing to be there when he talks about them. He doesn't understand shit about them, except that they somehow use quantum mechanics for something.
Last week my uncle from Spain visited us. He's a Cristian pastor, and a cool guy, so they always talk about god and similar themes. We gathered the family to have a dinner with my uncle as he only was going to be one day with us. This is how part of the dinner went by:
" so, <Uncle's name>, have you heard about quantum computers?"
me thinking:*Oh my God. Please not again... *
"The nasa, the US government and all kinds of powerful entities are getting the quantum computer."
He always talks about THE quantum computer as if it was just one big machine.
"They have found that multiple universes exist through it. If this is what they are telling us, imagine how far they've gone. Remember that technology is always 8 years ahead of actual public technology."
Me:*please dad, stop. Who the fuck is made that claim and how many fucking years ago?*
"Did you know that many people remember that Mandela died in prison, while in the oficial version, he died after it? They must be messing with multiple universes, or multiple timelines are getting intertwined."
Me: *please, not the mandela effect again*
Then my dad procceded to talk about multiverses and how THE quantum computer was the future and about some parts of the Bible that supported it. Bizarre, I know.
When we are alone, I always try to tell him how things actually work but he always twists my claims to support his. Last time I told him that the mandela effect was perfectly explainable by psychological phenomena around forgotten memories. But this is going to far... Fuck the guys that made zeitgeist. Fuck Alex Jones. Fuck random youtube conspiracy channels. They make technology look like fucking magic for muggles.10
You know what i hate? Applying to jobs and never getting feedback--if a polite "we didn't hire you because x and y" is too damn hard, i would still rather a royal refusal over not hearing anything back at all. It's happened to me 3-4 times in a row now, probably going to be 5 - 6 soon enough. Seriously though, what is this shortage of devs everyone talks about? Because here i am with both hands and a leg in the air high as i could manage and you're not even acknowledging me? I even made a small React SPA once to satisfy a company's questions and show a bit of my competence--you think i ever got a reply from them? Shit, i didnt even get an auto reply. And from what ive read here on others' rants, im far from being alone. At least i could understand why they dont look at me (Bahamian, no degree, never had a dev job, etc.), but for proven programmers to go unnoticed the way they do is ridiculous.7
Note to myself:
Went alone to a conference, without knowing someone and
have problems to start a conversation with complete stranger,
is a stupid idea.
Social anxiety HURRAY but at least the talks were nice.4
M: Can you help me? I can't update pages.
N: Sure *Checks problem* it looks like you installed it with the old apple account, you just need to reinstall it using your new one.
M: What about all my pages documents on icloud?
N: *Compares documents on mac to her other Apple devices that never had the old account* See? The documents would have to be on the new account.
M: Are you sure? I don't want to lose any documents.
N: I know, don't worry their on your new iCloud.
M: *Calls apple support*
N: *Talks to apple support who after an hour of chatting to her through me because I translate customer support to mother confirms what I was telling her*
N: Reinstalls pages and everything is fine.
I was originally going to make a post talking a bit about how people love to second guess anything I say but thought this story provides a decent example. When it's something of a personal nature or someone is asking for my opinion in genral then it's perfectly reasonable to ask multiple people. It doesn't bother me when someone asks for my help, it bugs the shit out of me when someone asks for my help and then doubts everything I say in this case even after providing some evidence to back up my claim and wasting a solid hour. If you ask for my help your trusting that I have the knowledge necessary to assist, if I don't know for certain I'll try googling the problem but even in that case calling support doesn't bother me because I clearly don't know how to help.
P.S. This was my first story, how did I do?7
Java : He is the topper who is usually mocked, but still everyone seeks his help on the day before exams. He tops the class no matter where he is.
C : He was once the coolest guy in the class with all the new gadgets but now uses outdated gadgets.
C++ : The guy who comes 2nd and is also loved by everyone. He is very competitive.
R : She has everything readymade from food to tiffins.
Python: She will soon top the class.
C# : Is she still part of the class!!?24
Last year I had a meeting with the newly hired Senior Graphics Designer.
She was presenting the new design of the company's website with all the features she wants.
After a few minutes, I asked her, did you design it as a responsive website?
"What is that?" She said. I said that the website should display or have atleast a design for mobile view and desktop view.
And she replied, "is that a requirement?"
Talks to myself: how the hell we hire designers like this?
PS, she earns 4x my salary5
"No We Will Not Code for Free"
(Parody of the "Cheers" theme)
We're underpaid, clients' scope today takes everything we got.
You turn to us with all your troubles cause "companies charge a lot."
You want our work but you won't pay.
No we will not code for free.
You are not exempt from our fee.
If you want a free site, build it yourself. We're not your coding slaves.
We won't build your crap no matter how much you plea.
"Paying us back" don't mean a thing, money talks, bullshit walks.
If you want a cheap site then go to Geocities.2
Bob Martin. His books Clean Code and the Clean Coder, and all his talks on architecture, SOLID and TDD. I could listen to him talk for days, and he taught me everything i know about writing clean code.3
I'm taking an entrepreneurship course and there is this one guy who talks empty words just to impress others.
He uses linux and at every single course he opens the terminal just to run the commands "sudo apt update" and "sudo apt remove", the rest of the time he is on discord.
He always switches to the terminal so you can see what an 'expert' he is17
So yesterday i went to this live theatre drama and i had an extra ticket. I asked this random guy the way to that theatre and apparently he was looking to get ticket for the same show. I offered him my other ticket for free.
We introduce ourself to each other and i came to know he worked as salesman or something. As i talked about my job, I told about me leaving job in hopes of self employment.
*Cue the sales pitch*
He started talking about some scheme kind of thing to have financial freedom. He talks about how we can get products at upto 15% discount and we have to sell them to others.
I was skeptical about it and he talked they have website as if that will pimpress me or something.
I visited the site and i was not surprised at all. It was nothing but an halfassed e-commerce store. I knew it was halfassed and probably setup by the "CEO" himself.
And the products in that site are nothing but stupid cosmetic products!
And to top it off, you have to spend around $200 to join this scheme. This poor guy doesn't realise he is just being a talking puppet to that halfassed e-commerce business BY PAYING THEM!!!
He even said one of his friend in London took leave to join this scheme or whatever... What a stupid friend.
Anyway, i just regret giving away a ticket to some stupid people like him. I'd have been much more happier if i had just thrown the extra ticket in the trash.
Long rant 😤😤😤
Today I was going to hit my project manager in the face. I can't stand people like him. In every fucking meeting he starts talking about his past successes and we are forced to listen to him. In this sprint, we had a tough task which took more time than planned. So we didn't finish it till the deadline. After working hard all night long I finally managed to get the job done. And today guess what happened? He didn't fucking appreciate it. All he was talking was mediocre look of the module we've developed for the website. And it's not even my job to make a beautiful design as a back-end developer. At a point I wanted to resign. I don't know how much I will stand this situation. He has always been like this since he came to the company. The worst part is, he is not a senior developer or something. Al he talks about is some fucking old jobs he has done we don't know if they are real or not. From every meeting we suspect his skills are limited. He just knows how to talk. He has never reviewed a single line of code because he doesn't know PHP (yes I know, I know). Hell he doesn't know any back-end language and he is supposed to create a new architecture for the website. He don't have enough database skills neither. All he says he has worked as a mobile and front-end developer. So now I'm home and don't know If I should resign or not.4
Everyone talks about their hate of js but like python is honestly just as bad.
- shitty package manager,
* need to recreate python environments to keep workflows seperate as oppose to just mapping dependencies like in maven, npm, cargo, go-get
* Can't fix python version number to project I.e specify it in requirements
- dynamic typing that gets fixed with shitty duck typing too many times
- no first class functions
- limited lambda expressions
- def def def
- overly archaic error messages, rarely have I gotten a good error message and didn't have to dive into package code to figure it out
- people still use 2.7 ... Honestly I blame the difficulty of changing versions for this. It's just not trivial to even specify another python version
- inconsistent import system. When in module use . When outside don't.
- SLOW so SLOW
- BLOCKING making things concurrent has only recently got easier, but it still needs lots of work. Like it would be nice to do
Or just running asynchronous functions on the global scope will make it know to go to some default runtime. Or heck. Just let me run it like that...
- private methods aren't really private. They just hide them in intelisense but you can still override them....
I know my username is ironic :P13
Fucking news articles like wtf if they don't have a buzzword in the title they will never be published.
This Forbes articles talks about googles quantum computer and hotw it could break Bitcoin. FUCKING BITCOIN like who TF cares maybe you should talk about how it would break the ENTIRE FUCKING INTERNET.8
My family is very supportive. My 2 aunts are working in technical fields, and at least 2 of my cousins are working in IT and one cousin is studying CS too. My dad works in IT and since I started my studies he always talks to me about his work, when he finds errors and bugs and rants about his colleagues :D He also helped me debug some code. My mom is supportive too, but sometimes when I mention to her that this and that is hard she goes: "Oh, what did you choose?" (Rhetorical question)
But all in all I'm happy. Reactions of "outsiders" are those which bother me sometimes. But that's a different story.2
Local IT company proposes to give talks about the basics of web development in our school for one and a half week.
>"The first thing we need to do is to import jQuery in our webpage."
>Literally no mention of plain JS.
this is why jquery is still not dead...........6
Out of necessity (or rather: lack of support) I've been neglecting my test suite for the past ~month. Now that one of the beta versions of RSpec has better Rails 6 support, I can finally get back to writing tests. Yay!
I just merged staging into my testing branch, and it's now 344 commits ahead of origin! eep.
So, I've got lots of tests to write. yay.3
I agree with the "no code on paper" movement. I also would seek to have more talks on open source projects and configuration development environment for the students to be more successful.2
Hey guys, is there any good general programming podcasts that talks about a wide variety of concepts?33
My boyfriend and I just got home from a seminar and had a nice teachings and talks. As the speaker ended the talk, she asked each participants as to what is our ultimate goal.
G1: to be an able lawyer
B1: civil engineer!
B2: to pass the licensure examination
BF (God's Gift): businessman
Me (mind): Gray hat
Me (...): to have a start-up tech company
Since college, I really wanted to have a start-up company in due time. ^_^1
Oh, my boss never fails to amaze me...
Every fucking time he talks about changes to someone outside the team he says something like:
"we always gotta be prepared for breaks because it is always like that, you change something here and when you see you broke something there"
All in a manner that *tries* to bring tensions down.
And every time I explain to him why the fuck automated tests are important and wtf they do he always manage to understand it as a waste of time...
I'm never gonna give up, motherfucker.2
Im back to anyone that may cared a little, so I was offline for 6 days since my ISP Ultra Hilarious to crash my state records of their paying customers and some other stuff that It took 5ever to get back, anything you guys want to share with me that may happen lately here on DevRant? I personally my classic Amazon bashing news and Perhaps giving away some Steam Keys that one Reviewer user of my site give us out to promote the site along side the devs.
For the Amazon News there is:
Amazon in talks to buy cybersecurity startup Sqrrl and also group of New Jersey Amazon Warehouse workers stood in the cold outside an Amazon Books store in Manhattan on Wednesday to remind shoppers that their online purchases are made possible by warehouse employees who often are underpaid and denied normal workplace benefits. More info at: https://legionfront.me/pages/news
No about Free Steam gamuz:
Gravity Island Key: AACA7-CYFVW-N775L
For more free keys drop by:
“Although we had a click during our talks, another candidate fits the profile we’re looking for better.”
MOTHERFUCKER THIS IS REJECTION NUMBER 57 FOR ME. BETTER GIVE ME A GOOD FUCKING REASON THEN THE STANDARD PROFILE EXCUSE YOU FUCKING IMBECILE OF A GODDAMN FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!
Disclaimer: i’m truly sorry for my language but i’m going through a though time. I’m gonna go and cry in a corner now and continue being jobless for probably another three months.3
So I just lost my job because I wasn't 'working hard enough'.
I'm the hardest working person there, everyone else just stands around and talks, but they don't do anything because they're union members (I'm agency so I'm not) and the union follows up on the smallest things.
That would be bad but not earth shattering if I had savings, was up to date on rent, didn't have the bank and various loan companies hounding me, and I still possessed the will to live, but that's not the case.
I'm sick of this constant barrage of shit that the world is chucking me and I just want to go lie down on the train lines and wait now. Fuck this world and the shit it constantly gives me :'(8
I just came back from a meeting to a project that integrates some companies to achieve the project goals.
There was this "computer/data scientist" (his words) that every time he talked I just wanted to punch him in the throat.
Look, I'm not saying he isn't good or anything. He can be a fucking genius, I don't care.
But he talks as if he is the smartest person on the room, fucking annoying.2
Looking through our gitlog today and see 3 PR's from our "lead developer". 2 of these were removing a single blank line from a class, and the 3rd was adding one back in. None of these had any title or commit messages on the PR's. This is a guy that talks down to everyone and deliberately makes other devs feel insignificant, saying he's too busy to write documentation and it's not needed because his uncommented code is self documenting. But hang on he's not too busy to waste time with pointless non-functional PR's that only remove a couple of blank lines? Scratching my head in disbelief that some devs think they can get away with shit like this. How about you drop the ego and actually try and work in collaboration with the other devs.2
Me: "hey we should do this new project in react!"
Boss: "no he barrier to entry is to tough for our team"
Boss talks to past employee(which he had to let go because he was a TERRIBLE developer who now works for facebook....) about new project, past employee recommends react....
Team is now going to work on a new project written with react......1
Don't we all just love that guy, that loudly talks about Linux and is almost zealous about it but when questioned about simply stuff, like basic *nix commands and shell scripting, looks like he just arrived from space... :D4
Can we rant about coworking spaces?
I like the coworking office concept and I love this desk I have for myself, I like this building, the supervisor is sweet and I made new clients here...
But I hate one of my "neighbours".
We have several office rules and he constantly breaks them.
No music allowed without headphones. Nope, gotta listen to shitty radio straight from the smartphone speaker.
No loud conferences or phone talks. Nah, let's set the volume to the max. And leave the phone behind and let it ring loudly forever.
You can only occupy one desk unless you rent more. In comes his coworker who keeps occupying an extra desk for free and who's as loud as he is. And bring the kids because hey, growing up bored inside a office is good for them.
And today's newest: no eating in the office. Coworker brought her kid who set up a -dinning table- on the extra desk and began eating her lunch leftovers. It wouldn't have been so bad and I wouldn't have noticed except the office was overflowed with the stench of overheated pasta.
This is a big office. I had to open the windows. I can still feel the smell. It's nauseating.
I didn't say anything because it's not the kid's fault they didn't take her to the building's canteen space. But at the risk of making enemies where I shouldn't, I need to have a "fun" talk with someone.8
Did I tell you that X third party system needed to be updated due to that pos using flash? Yes
Did you bitch about budget constraints and finding workarounds and stuff like that? Also Yes
Did I mention that X system was crucial for people and that we were not going to be able to do anything about it if we did not allocate the time to modify that before it happened? Also Yes
Did I mentioned this on multiple occasions? Yes
Was my team also pulled out from working on the alternative before this happened? Yes
Did I send multiple emails about this, talks, meetings and documentation of me saying all of the above? You betcha
Oh well 🤡5
TLDR: A huge company that does server administration can't set up a server the right way and we have to explain to them how to do that.
So, we have this ma'am at work that is the least direct person I know.
She can transform one sentence in a paragraph and the meetings/talks with her I usually end up in my "happy place" at the middle of her phrases and come back latter when she isn't finished and I'm like
"wtf is she talking about yet? Damn I went away again, shit... Just nod and smile..."
We had a meeting scheduled with her and some clients today... She missed it... MOST FUCKING PRODUCTIVE DAY EVER!
36 hours here.
It wasn't really work, but I went to FOSDEM 2 years ago with a friend of mine that's also a hacker (hardware stuff mostly). So on Saturday we went to all the talks fully energised, when that was done we got back to his home to "sleep", but there's so many other projects to do!! At the time we felt like we really needed a weather fetching thingy in our IRC client (I think it was Hexchat) but that didn't exist yet. So we built it, kinda in a pair programming way, all night long. Oh, it's morning already?! Time to go to the Sunday talks! We were both complete zombies by then, but somehow I still remember a little bit of it.. some ass who was showing oh-my-vagrant (boring as shit) and some other stuff. All in all, 36 hours on the counter when I got in bed completely wasted, but it was so worth it ♥️
It's been a while I haven't check devRant. Been very busy and spending a lot of time with my teammates; knowing each other since we transferred in one room and can't avoid joining the small dirty talks with my colleagues since I'm the only rose among the thorns. :/
So anyways, I missed being in here. I missed ranting about my boss and coworkers, swearing a lot and following your rants. Got to randomly check my notif and catch up with you, guys! ;)4
In my office there's a dev who regularly takes figurative shits on other devs — stuff like publicly shaming others for their mistakes, or dropping a conceited "I told you so" whenever his solution turned out to be the right one.
He's a young guy, still has lots to learn about office etiquette, and I know he usually means well (he privately apologized to me once after I told him to fuck off), but I'm not sure he knows of the effect it's having on the other devs he talks down to.
I like him enough that I don't want to go to HR about it, but I don't know how to approach the situation in a one-on-one level with this guy. I do know that something needs to happen, but I'm not sure how I can help the situation.
For now, he shuts up when I point out his flaws in logic and reveal that he's still got lots to learn about his demeanor.
New role in the company, now I finally work in security, and I love it.
Walking by the IoT lab while talking to my new boss, my eyes have hearts in it and my boss notices it.
He asks: "do you fancy electronics?"
Me: "i love electronics"
We agree, talking with the head of IoT, in securing their gateways with our knowledge.
A dream came true. Two of my favorite subjects together, electronics and security.
Temporal jump, few weeks later, still no formal engagement in this work.
We got invited to give a speech in a university by the head of IoT about gateways's security.
During his presentation he talks about universities and their (obviously free) contributions to his products.
Our radar was up, he was trying to give our job to university students.
Obviously we didn't give the whole speech with our suggestions, and we avoided the core parts of the speech.
Well done, sir.
I do not completely disagree with his approach, but I'm not sure the resulting product would be secure enough.
University students where I live only have theoretical approach to the subject, I'm afraid they will leave holes in the product.
Now I'm split.
From one point of view I hope they leave many bugs, so that I can then work on it and fix it.
From the other point of view I hope they do a great job, so that my company does not make a bad impression in the Internet of Insecure Things..
Furthermore, how do I behave now?
I really wanted to start this new project, we were talking about building a new hardened OS for the IoT, and I already started writing hardened drivers, functions, and implementing hardware security between sensors and gateways.
OMG ... please.
Digital era 2018 - Data secuity forum.
Main topic - GDPR.
First talker talks about blockchain.1
Dad: “Cool! Now you can sit around like you always do!” 😑
Mom: “So you are programming the computer? Can you show me how to do x on my computer/iPhone?” Except it’s the same questions every single time... She never learns...
Brother: Talks to me about jailbreak stuff
And of course, they all ask me how to fix things on different electronics.3
Humph. Just remembered something pretty cool. Last year I had a great math teacher and tech teacher. My class on the other hand: not great except my friends. We were being taught c++ in tech class and man were these kids the laziest i've ever seen. Just creeping up behind me and copying the code. Tech teacher walks up and opens up stack overflow on the kid's pc and walks away. Later during math class our teacher overhears kids talking about pokemon go. She then gets really excited and talks about how fun ar is to code and asks if any of the kids need c++ help. Turns out she had quit a dev position to become a teacher and give back to the community. She left halfway through the schoolyear because she was pregnant though. Needless to say most of my class caught the coding bug and it was thanks to both those teachers. The math teacher came back at the beginning of the year but then I moved back to the USA.
*me and my manager, during my appraisal meeting
me: *talks about work done in previous project, and the current one under him
manager: but your JIRA throughput is very less.
me: the tickets which I pick are more research oriented and almost always take more time than the other config- fix type ones, and due to me being shifted from another team, there has been an increasing learning curve, I realize that, but...
manager: look at Jack, his throughput has been consistently high.
*me, after realizing my appraisal has obviously gotten affected and this discussion will lead nowhere
me: I would like to have a chat with HR before I sign the form with the percentage increment you are offering.
*me, with hr the next day
hr: your manager tells me that your throughput has been less than satisfactory.
me: *goes on to explain about the type of tickets I have been working on, along with other enhancements done to make people's lives easier
hr: but the throughput...
me: where the f**k do I sign?2
Cousin sis who was brought up abroad is back in the country, looking for further education opportunities.
Says she wants to study graphic design but from the short interaction i had, it seems she has no fucking idea about the basics of what goes into graphic design. Neither does her parents.
Haven't seen or heard any work or hobby from her that would make one think she has interest in graphic design.
Asked whether she tried doing some design and it seems she is not even aware of tools like Photoshop or illustrator.
It doesn't help that she barely talks at all and wants to get back to her phone. Compared to her, i feel like an extrovert lol.
People who barely interacts or expresses are cringey to talk to.
Trying to talk to her, I feel like looking at myself from 10 years ago.
The point is - learn to talk more. It can help you a lot in life.8
What's this erogant world?
Someone asked a question in Stack Exchange, he put his design of a school management database and asked for suggestions.
Well, there are many things to improve, relations and data types etc..
BUT, he got 10 very long answers about why every student has exactly a father and a mother, why not 2 mothers and 3 fathers and all some off topic talks that could be said in 1 line..
Like what the... ok we know you're gay but answer the question without being an attention greedy14
TLDR: Ask irritating questions, you could end up saving the company money and time...
I’m working on a project where we are integrating 2 legacy web applications with each other.
Business Analyst/Project manager (BA) : Save all the contact details of the selected firm in application A into the database of application B, then expose that data later so that we can output it into the document when the user generates them.
Me: Seems a bit excessive, there’s even a fax number, nobody uses that anymore, are you sure we need all that?
BA: The old document has all that information.
Me: Please just check with client that witch fields are still needed in the document.
BA: Ok, fine, but it’s probably a waste of time…
BA: * Talks with client on phone for 10 minz *
BA: Ok client stays we only need the Lodgement Number on the document.
Me: We already store that and populate it in the document.
BA: I had budgeted 2 days labour for all that, you just saved us a lot of money!
Big data is like teenage sex: everyone talks about it, nobody really knows how to do it, everyone thinks everyone else is doing it, so everyone claims they are doing it… — Dan Ariely4
Anyone that stands in the middle of an open space building and talks loudly is an absolute cunt.
Nobody wants to hear you bitch about your problems, so kindly shut the fuck up. K thanks2
My coworker is... something else. He's "coded in Java for six years", bear in mind and this is a bit of .py code he's written. First a doNothing() function (probably didn't hear about pass) and then there's about 400 lines of creating values. No iteration whatsoever. I have no idea how he's got the job. Not to mention that whenever he talks about anything technical it's like listening to Gertrude from Accounting talking about 'mouse not working'.12
PM and UX designer talks.
About a feature on android with viewpager (swipeable views) and a header with buttons.
PM : We need a back button and a close button on the header.
UX : A customer will be confused by both, with the swipe too.
PM : Then we need a close button alone.
UX : Customer will search for back button and not everyone might swipe left.
PM : We need a back button alone.
UX : Customer might not know how to close the view. He can't keep going back back back.
PM : we don't need any buttons.
UX : Customer should find it easy to close or go back.
PM : bruv.2
I wanna make online friends that program too, I would love to just sit in a call or sumn and just talk and program and ask for help or vice versa if needed. But I'm that person who also rarely already talks to his current IRL and Online friends that dont program. And can never and doesnt like to spare my own time to talk to others. I'm quite frankly screwed 😂6
my cousin wants to buy a new phone and asked for advice. (with advice I mean saying what he wants and hoping I agree)
*talks about lumia 930.
me: you won't be able to use these apps x,y,z......
him: why not it has better specs than mine. bla bla.... you will see.
him: phone doesn't have Play Store installed. can you do it?5
I had a standing ovation at my first talk at a conference. I was so nervous at first and then it was easy afterwards. I wonder if I should do more talks. Anyone have any experience doing this that can give some advice?9
OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE HAVE TO ACT LIKE THEY'RE SOME KIND OF GOD WHEN THEY CAN'T EVEN PASS AN INTRO CLASS. Some background: I go to an early college in high school program which offers computer science where you take two college classes a semester starting you junior year in high school. AND THIS GIRL TALKS ABOUT THIS PROGRAM LIKE IT'S AWFUL AND SHE HATES IT AND HOW THE PROFESSORS DON'T TEACH AND SHE FAILED AN INTRO TO PROGRAMMING CLASS WHICH TEACHES JAVA BUT THEN SHE ACTS LIKE SHE'S WAY ABOVE THE OTHER KIDS IN MY CLASS BECAUSE SHE'S RETAKING IT. SHE'S ALSO A STUDENT ASSISTANT IN MY CYBER SECURITY CLASS BUT DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE localhost IP IS. I UNDERSTAND THAT I DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING BUT AT LEAST I DON'T ACT LIKE I DO. IT'S SO INFURIATING!!!!!!
In a tiny galaxy far, far away there is the huge company XL and the tiny XS where I work, competing and sometimes cooperating. Both use the same horrible customer administration software called Y which is a windows-oracle mess but has a huge amount of complex domain specific business logic built in. So it can't really be replaced, just worked around.
XL have their work arounds, I am sure. We have ours but it's old and have needed to be replaced for years, let's call it The Problem. I am the guy who is supposed to keep it working while we wait for the right moment to build a new one. I always get called in to deal with The Problem at the last moment. It's only needed a few times a year. It's never a priority except at these times and then well, there is time only for the quick fix.
Now The Problem was once a good solution, actually pretty well built. You can still see some nice touches. It talks to the shitty API provided by Y and makes the most of it. But The Prob is written in a language-framework combination we no longer use for new projects. So a major update does not get favoured, especially since the guy who wrote it left a few years ago. And a total rewrite is a big project.
So The Problem lingers in use.
The stake holder mostly cares about how it looks, talking about technical debt to them just makes their eyes glaze over.
A couple of outings ago the stake holder boss wanted the web user interface of The Problem to look the same as the one used by XL because we ran a cooperative campaign. I managed to make them look very similar. Got some praise for that even.
Since then Y:s API has been updated with some big breaking changes. API calls that The Problem depends on have been heavily modified, even completely removed. With some really crazy hacks I still managed to make it work, just one more time.
Of course I again complained a bit. I loved the response:
- XL:s solution looks almost exactly the same so I'm sure they run what we are running. Why do we have so much trouble with Y when they don't?
Nooooo! It looks the same but... I just don't know what to say. But I do know the joke is on me.
Many people / engineers around me talk about trendy stuff like Cybersecurity or AI and show off what great encryption and neuronal networks they 'have built' ( I would rather say 'using').
I kinda get the feeling of 'Everbody talks about it - no one really knows what's goin' on inside (especially those guys who hate math and even algorithms).'
Am I just stupid or does somebody else here feel the same way? I mean people have been doing serious research about this stuff for years. And currently many kids are coming up with it as if it is easy stuff like the bubble sort.6
so I left uni after my PhD and joined a start up where the boss is a Cambridge grad who does coding and is like 50 years old (he never told us the true value), the CTO is very talented and another dev who quickly became my best friend and me doing data science. the 4 of us worked together like friends and the efficiency was fantastic, there's no bureaucracy bullshit or shit boss talks. We built the whole thing from scratch (okay I admit they did most of the building) and to this day, we work just has we have been.
Every day when I am going to and from work I listen to a podcast called Developer Tea. I can really recommend it, it talks about everything that is devrelated. Not only about technical stuff but also about how you should be as a person as a developer. I shared mine so now I am curious to hear: what is the best podcast/podcasts you listen to?15
To those able to join us in the Netherlands:
So you want some devrant goodies? We are having a (IMO) cool event soon.
"Collab - Digital Agency meets Cloud Provider"
We will go into various topics regarding; automation, CI, cloud, experiences and maybe a few things about clusters / kubernetes.
Everyone is happy to join us for 2 talks, beers (and maybe pizza!).
Last but not least we are able to give a way various goodies including stuff from DevRant ;)
You can order the free tickets at https://eventbrite.co.uk/e/...
I hope to see some devrant people there and make sure to hit me up if you will attend!
ps. if you have question, just ask away!13
So, we are a web development and marketing agency. That's fine... except now it seems that we are a marketing and web development agency. Where the head marketing guy feels it's his job to head up web development.
This is NOT what I signed up for.
When you offer web services to a client, the one meeting with the client should understand at least basic stuff, and know when to pull in a heavyweight for more questions. Instead, our web team is summarized by a guy who listens to 80's rock music in a shared office (used to be just me in there) and spends his days trying to get 30-year-olds on Facebook to click an ad.
He was on the phone yesterday with some ecommerce / CRM support, trying to tell them that they have an API, that "it's a simple thing, I'm sure you have it", and that's all we need to do business with them. Which is not his call, it's my call, but for some reason he's the one on the phone asking for API info. The last time I took someone else's word on an API, I underquoted the work and eventually found out that their "API" was nothing more than a cron job which places a CSV file on your server via FTP.
Anyway, we now have a full-time marketer and two part-time interns, with another ad out for an AdWords specialist. Meanwhile, I'm senior dev with a server admin / retired senior dev, and if we don't focus on hiring a front-end guy soon we're going to lose business.
Long story short, I'm getting sick of having a guy who does not understand basic web concepts run the show because he's the one who talks to the client.3
Is that smartwatch craze really over?about a year ago everybody was telling me to write apps for smart watches.now nobody even talks of it7
Worst code I ever had to touch: a React application, createClass era, before redux was a thing, that had everything in one fucking component.
Every fucking thing.
This was a simple video chat application, but still. The component's code included:
- Views (contact list and video call screen) and logic to switch between them;
- All application state;
- API calls;
- Websocket message handling;
- WebRTC logic (getUserMedia and p2p streaming).
This app was built by one person in one month for a demo. That person left the company after the demo and I had to maintain that mess without zero React knowledge (I was doing angular at that time). On his last day he gave me a crash course and an overview of how the app worked.
Around that time I attended a few meetups and a conference with talks about React. That, my curiosity and ability to learn by refactoring helped me a lot when I had to add new features and fix bugs in that app.5
In my school there is this guy, who talks a lot and fools the teachers into thinking that he is a dev savvy so he gets assigned to projects with us, but he can't even write a function in js, and talks about accessing a DB with jQuery. Talk is cheap show me the code5
Are there more people here who use Makefiles as a façade for complicated commands? For example, 'make dev.up' executes a long docker-compose command and 'make dev.expose.secrets' activates ansible-vault with some variables. It makes doing stuff easier and makes it so that developers with less shell experience can quickly get going instead of having to use long boring commands.
Each time I try to look up what the actual purpose of a makefile is I get a long list of explanatioms talking about building C programs etc. But it never talks about using it to just put shell commands in one big file with subtargets 🤔
So, my question, any of you guys use a makefile to facilitate a facade too?3
Received a complaint that the year dropdown list isn't far enough (ends at 2022). They wanted it to go all the way to 2027. My script handles this by getting the current year then add 5 to it and it generates the values in the dropdown list. All I had to do was change from '5' to '10' in the config puppet files. Contractually, any source code changes needs to be documented and informed to the client. I followed suit, documenting how I am going to make the change. This is new as it involves using git to commit the changes and pull it in the server that talks to the git server. This shouldn't take more than a minute to fix.
Submitted and wanted to finish this today. Client decided to wait til next week to complete the code change to fix the complaint. A work that can be done in a minute is now dragged to a week. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Realtalk: I LOL when I read corporate BS that talks up product, skillz, or tech. But when I fix something in the background, and I read the manager's client email saying something like "our marvellous technical team has found the issue and resolved it" I gotta say I wanna strut for a bit. <_<
More like a genersl question I guess. But how do you guys react to writing software that might make someone else get laid off? At work I developed an application that manages a lot of the inventories and yard management that had to be done by hand. While I was developing it, the manager that was giving me the details mentioned (jokingly) many times that if the software works as it was expected that they will not require certain people anymore. I shrugged it off as a joke since I could not imagine it being serious. Turns out, it was serious and some talks about company restructuring have taken place since I released the app into our servers. How the fuck am I supposed to feel? If someone loses their job because of something like this, how would someone go about NOT feeling guilty af?16
* TALKS to someone from Portland about a potential Amtrak trip to Portland.
*opens youtube after an hour or so*
Top suggestion -> TOP 25 things to do in PORTLAND
Good old days where we use to laugh off such "coincidences" as Paranoia! Now this shit scares me for real7
Team Meeting with Senior senior manager(SSM) from headquarters.
Post lunch break (casual talks)
SSM: You all people in this office live in luxury. Each and every door has a security guard to open and close the door for all of you. HQ doesn't have these.
Me: So, does it mean that there are no doors or no security guards at the HQ?
Everyone in my team with a very big facepalm. Manager telling me not to get high after having the lunch.
Footnote: All my colleagues and my manager often tells me that I get high just by eating food.4
My pm requested me to estimate few tasks on a new project(single page app), the problem was that he was creator of these tasks, so we ended up with
- Create back button
- Create next button
- Create table with contents
As I prefer to take things literally I estimated each task as they literally should (5 min for adding buttons etc). So all tasks together were estimated for about 5h, while whole project was estimated for 100MD. After few talks and discussions we ended up with:
- Create back button
- Create back button logic
- Create next button
- Create next button logic
So I spent over 200 hours recovering a raid array because the the business that hired the company I work for tried to do all the work in house. Now I'm to the point of trying to quote a new server setup to the company because the last one got hit by lightning. My quote $8000-$20000 in just hardware alone. If im going to do this I want to do it right. Twin servers running xenserver holding virtual machines with a high-quality Nas to hold the virtual machine. Then have the vm's being imaged to two off site backup devices in two different locations and a cloud backup. My boss comes in after me talks to the guy in charge and tells him all that is needed is one server holding all storage on it just like the last server that died and one off-site backup for $4500. How stupid can someone be who has been doing this for over 20 years? Oh btw the software running on this server will be 911 dispatch, jail records and the database for fine payments. The sheriff making the final call me and my boss are meeting with him tomorrow if my boss tries to undercut me I'm going to tell them both that if the same shit happens next time they can spend the time themselves trying to recover stuff because I done the over 200 hours in just short of two weeks.11
Went to the O’Reilly conference on architecture last week. Will say there were some good points made (really liked the elephant in architecture and tech debt talks). But wow developers love to circlejerk. If you don’t deploy microservices on the cloud with serverless actions for everything then they’ll talk down to you like what you do isn’t important. Like so many talks memed monoliths were annoying. Like I get we love the new and shiny things but it’s kinda ridiculous.1
I agree with many people on here that Front-End web development/design isn't what it used to be.
Things used to be simple: a static page. Then we decoupled design from description and we introduced CSS; nice, clean separation, more manageable - everything looks nice up to this point.
Years later, we start throwing backend concepts into the web and bloating it with logic because we want so much for the web to be portable and emulate the backend. This is where it starts to get ugly: come ASP, come single pages, partial pages, templates,.. The front-end now talks to a backend, okay. We start decoupling things and we let the logic be handled by the backend - fair enough.
Everything has now turned into an unfriendly, tangled web (no pun intended).
I miss the old days when creating things for the Web used to be fun, exciting and simple and it would invigorate passion, not hate.
What happens to someone who talks 2 hours about Windows and Linux?
He suddenly talks about Winux 😂
- Teacher 20162
The Sorry State of Web programming (and who should be punished for it)
"And if you’re really lucky, and your following grows to scientology-levels of fanaticism you may get your own con. Yes con. Like DockerCon, or JsCon, or LongConJs, because thats exactly what all this is — and it’s exactly what we need: more excuses to meet up for the already sterile pollination of bedfellows, the unwashed, unvarnished masses of guys in their 30s, obsessively stroking their perfectly manicured beards and arguing over the comparative differences between vim versus emacs while completely oblivious about things like how you’re supposed to wear an undershirt with your button up. If not for hackathons, and ted talks, and sxsw, and conferences, and SomethingCons, and ‘retreats’, and dozens of other pointless synonyms for ‘people just meeting up’, most of us would still be in our cubicle, office, or room, typing away instead of socializing like normal people."
Full post here because I like to insert pictures because like all normie fucking simpletons I like pictures in my books.
My quest towards privacy goes on.
Apparently TabNine AI autocomplete talks not only to api.tabnine.com, but also to serene-waters-6626.morning-tundra-7160.herokuspace.com.
Too bad I got firewall on both incoming AND outgoing connections.7
It's annoying when you just want to learn something as quickly as possible but this tutor talks about his cats or random things that distract him that distract me.5
To my dear friends complaining about GDPR, if companies providing free services in exchange for users data didn't fuck up completely, there wouldn't be any GDPR. In history, regulations always come after people fuck ups, uncle Bob has some nice talks about that.1
My thesis supervisors gave me a set of templates and guidelines for the whole thing and argh.
they constantly assume that I've no fucking idea about academic writing despite the very good graded talks and texts I handed in in the past - granted, they probably often deal with inexperienced students.
but what they've given me.. a) the thesis template does not work, they fucked up some latex packages and b) there's a almost passive aggressive 3 page explanation on academic writing and how wo work with sources and references and they forgot the fucking references lol. There are none included and the references all go like [?].15
My Senior posts on LinkedIn about fostering a good work environment, but nobody in our office talks to each other and every time he comes in I get 45 trello cards about what I’ve not done right. Not a single time have I got a ‘well done, you’ve really taken initiative, you’ve managed to do something new without any guidance’
What’s the point in being on a juniors salary if I’m not being taught anything?6
Whenever I read a rant where someone talks about their first Linux install or distribution they used I feel old. I remember installing Slackware back in 1995 on a 386DX that was previously used to run Wildcat BBS.1
Client just said to me "we'll give you a 'speed' payment to deliver the website faster, you just charge us what you think is right". WTF!
Blank cheque time... :)2
devRant.. I need your help.
So for the last year I've been self teaching myself python, go, & haskell. I've really been enjoying myself, to the point we're I would like to make it my career. Insert problem, I stumbled upon ECU(engine control unit) reprogramming & flashing, and instantly fell in love with the idea. However I can not find any information it. Every college I've called talks to me like I just asked them to teach me witchcraft.
Does any dev have experience with ecu programming? How did you get into it?
Just finished Microsoft's newest CEO, Satya Nadella's book "Hit Refresh." It was actually really great. He talks about changing Microsofts culture and global impact, inspiring makers, as well as what the needs are going forward in technology.
For telcos it's cheaper to install and use faster 10gb/s fiber optic than using its existing 1gb/s network. I thougt they were lazy fucks who only do something when not doing anything is more expensive. Fascinating 10gb/s internet future ahead of us.
If you are bored and want to learn something new, watch this cringe worthy video where verizon talks about its fiber optic network. It's even worth to watch for non us amercians.
(scroll to middle)
As I am now in a leading position in the middle of a agile transition:
has anyone got a source for a project done completely with user stories?
I am searching a real life example with already finished stories an active backlog and a documentation.
I just can't wrap my head around it. When and what do you document? In which Form do you document? How are you writing user stories with more content like diagrams and such?
(we use jira and confluence but just started with stories)
I read some articles on the topic and watched some talks but sill don't get the picture.8
I have a coworker who talks the most during scrum and not saying anything of substance or actionable in that whole time. He answers questions with a sentence paraphrasing the questions putting himself in a third person, waived him of responsibilities, but acknowledging the issue in the asked questions without providing any real solutions, leaving us looking at each other wondering wtf just said. But all knows too well not to ask a follow up questions. Or you gonna be here a while.
Utter waste of my time.7
I just got a job this month and one of my colleagues talks by himself 😔 making jokes and criticizing his code out loud. It is very disturbing ...2
Still not sure about this new guy, not trying to be rude but everytime we're talking about code he says shit that makes me wonder how he got hired. (btw he is hanging with the IT department all the time) He's a very nice guy, but talks massive shit when it comes to bugs/new features/etc.
Should I have a look at his pc to see what he's doing when in office or is it none of my business. Help me out here, I'm really curious but don't care if he's a fake at the same time lol.8
HOLY SHIT. short story, just dodged a bullet. Using the Samuel L Ipsum generator and not thinking. I then use this copy to test the notification system with the following text. luckily the system email only went to me!
"Look, just because I don't be givin' no man a foot massage don't make it right for Marsellus to throw Antwone into a glass motherfuckin' house, fuckin' up the way the nigger talks. Motherfucker do that shit to me, he better paralyze my ass, 'cause I'll kill the motherfucker, know what I'm sayin'?
Well, the way they make shows is, they make one show. That show's called a pilot. Then they show that show to the people who make shows, and on the strength of that one show they decide if they're going to make more shows. Some pilots get picked and become television programs. Some don't, become nothing. She starred in one of the ones that became nothing."1
Seeing the phrases and language and different APIs and platforms and various versions of everything everybody talks about makes me feel even less prepared to enter the industry properly when I leave University.
I'm going being a WordPress specialist.3
I got this recently on my Firefox update. The podcast talks about Surveillance Capitalism and sounds a good hearing but I really don't know on whose side is Mozilla because their browser default search engine is still Google. Its kind of hypocritically confusing.
So at my work no one ever like talks to me, so today someone was talking to me and I had to look behind me twice to realise that someone was actually talking to me. Such fun.
I'm I the only one who talks to an imaginary friend when debugging 🌚🌚
In my defense my imaginary friend helps me see things in a different perspective and most times I end up fixing my bugs2
1. Learn frontend and backend development. Move out of "Just android developer" description
2. Move out of this shitty MNC and get a job in a good company
3. Blog more
4. Give talks
5. Get fit
6. Have a nice gf ( one can hope)
Can I achieve this much? I'll try my best for sure.
Everytime im visiting msdn, I'm about to start criying. Especially today. Im having until wednesday to fix a bug, and the only documentation I can find that talks about this issue is on msdn and the site takes fucking forever to load, pouring salt in my wounds.5
Me - "Talks to client about his deliverable"
Him - So when can we show a demo?
Me - On thursday we could show a totally working deliverable.
Him - "Really on thursday? i was hoping to get it done for tomorrow"
My mind - *Dude. do you even know how much time does it takes to finish the latest changes you just asked me today? i mean probably we could get it done if you weren't so cheap at the proposal, you know, when I told you we would take longer if i dropped the price. And I could have a couple more devs working here so we could had the finish product a week ago, and still we are on time... so WTH dude *
Me - No, sorry I wouldn't dare to show you a half baked demo. But ill try my best to show you before that day.1
I went to PyOhio, a conference for python in Ohio. I had an amazing time. I’ve never been to a programming event before and it was a revelation. I met and befriended so many amazing, kind, and intelligent people. The talks were amazing, and it was such a great opportunity. I was even guided through my first open source contribution. Great time definitely going again.2
Suggestions for a good speech to text program for someone who mumbles and talks too fast?
I sliced my thumb while washing a knife and typing on my computer without it is getting annoying3
Am I the only one with sore thumbs from using a phone and typing at work all day? Everyone talks about their phone and features it should have but I'm just like "hardware ain't shit if you're going to break your hands using it"
I think it's a tall people with big hands problem.6
I've been to my first tech meetup. God, that was bullshit.
Two of the talks were dishonest presentation. Like a presentation for a customer of a product they built. Trying to quickly skip over the down sides, issues and problems and focusing on the positive sides with very vague use cases.
The third presentation had actually a few interesting information, but was held with SJW bullshit premises that he just injected into it. Even apologised once that he as a white able-bodied male is holding the talk. Hey, look around the room. 100 % able bodies. 95 % white. 98 % male.
The groups you wanted to speak didn't even show up as audience members. But I guess there was a bouncer, keeping non-privileged members of society out which I just didn't notice because he was camouflaged in my inherit biases.
Well, in the end it was a JS meetup. I am more a backend/server guy. So I will try a backend language meetup next and an ops meetup and if they suck just as much I will just accept that I am not social enough to enjoy those and not social enough to see that code of conduct is not only designed to keep my voice out.4
So just babbling my shit down here.
(Tldr : i am a crazy guy who followed my half slept brain, went onto a stage , gave some kind of motivating , stammering talk to a large group of professional strangers, enjoyed that day with a red embarrassed face and just got my first pic of me speaking on stage and that is so awesome !)
Last Saturday i went to a gdg meetup and i embarrassed the hell out of me.
I went there with just 2 hours of sleep from the previous night.
After a few talks there comes a guy who is taking some time to install is setup and the host calls for lightning round session ( ie he asks if anyone from the audience would like to share something about their product or something).
I am a fucking nutt guy. I can explain something to you nicely in a hacky way as long as i have done enough work on that and you speak my native language.
But giving a talk on English stage, hell no! I stammer, mix hindi with English and start speaking werd shit.. And that's what happened.
I don't know what went into me but as some guy went to the stage and talked for 2 mins, i was like yeah i want to do that too. So in next turn when he asked for a show of hands, i raised mine and fucking went to stage!
I forgot that if you go on stage you should have something to talk to . But the moment i was on stage, i was like... "Nope, we will do this differently".
I had been working on a video ads module from the last week which could be easily explained in 2 mins. But i felt like giving a non techy talk instead.
It went something like this: i introduced myself with my experience details ( who gives experience details on stage !?!) Then host said to speak loudly and i went like "Bharat mata ki jai!"( Victory to mother india (wtf!?😆) .
Then started talking about how the developers feel disheartened when searching on internet where the resources are scattered . And the solution i told them was :"don't be disheartened. You will eventually find it (like wow dude wtf, as if they didn't knew that) . Look on the youtube and other resources " and then went full on explaining/marketing about some online tutor who gives advice/consultancy via a subscription based payment ( tbf that guy really helped solve a lot of my doubts, he has written books on Android dev and is the top so answerer for Android).
Then i went on sharing my thoughts live on that fuckin stage ! ( Live because i usually post my thoughts here on devrant before discussing them out with real people, you guys are my safe space) but there i discussed my thoughts on libraries!
I have this believe that Android devs these days are having lesser knowledge of the system because we have all the libraries and templates available to us. But when we have to customize stuff, we need to go deep into docs and source classes and find ourselves in trouble there. So i kind of said this out loud and that we should try to read more the code and implement stuff ourselves instead of using the library 😅🙈)
I was feeling so fucking embarrassing after that all stuff! It was so full of stammering , broken English and worst attempt at motivation. At that time i was regretting this and about to burst cry and run away, but somehow i gathered my self, got my mood back to the event games and talks, later went to the organizers and apologized(and they were very nice and didn't cared about it), and overall enjoyed my weirdest day!
When i came home, my mom gave me a little more confidence about it. Now i think i shouldn't be that much instinctive. Next day i went hack to work and everything got normal.
But Yesterday i found a link to the public repository of the photos. Ohh fuck, someone had took my image! and that was too in full hd!!! 🙈🙈🙈😅😆😆 Oh mann I can't stop looking at that cool stage speaker image, i love it ! I, the shy-est and the most uncool awkward person , present on the stage with a mike, oof , i think i lived my dream !
I hope i could get enough confidence and speaking skills to take a real stage talk next time ( and maybe enough interesting talks and confidence to talk with girls of our office, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )7
- assignment is to display a paragraph fit within a rectangle
- takes maybe 10 minutes to write
- 1 error preventing Xamarin Forms solution from building
- googles error and seems to be a version issue with a single package
- upgrade that single package
- 43 errors preventing solution from building
- reverts back to previous package version
- 76 errors preventing solution from building
- angrily turns off laptop and packs away things into laptop case
- talks shit about xamarin and all the annoying nuisances ive dealt with for this stupid mobile app class
- takes laptop back out because deadline is tomorrow and i have to make the solution build even though i want nothing to do with it
- laptop takes 2 hours and 14 minutes to load up Windows (no update or anything. Just me signing in like every other normal day)
- code builds first try without errors
- wait what the fuck
- concludes that i need only verbally intimidate electronics into submission from now on7
fuck coworkers who will still disturbed you even you have your earphones on, just to debate you if you know the difference between a class and an object.
(also talks confidently and loud enough to attract other officemates attention.)
Turns out that this same asshole doesn't know what he is talking about. Then you proved him wrong , and in the end he will just copy what you are saying. In other words all the time wasted for nothing! fck
fuck these kind of people. my productivity suffers, also they look like fools.
fuck these assholes who are very specific in technical names and jargons but dont know how to use it. fuck you all arrogant asshole dipshit mdfckrr feeling superior and annoying
sorry peeps argghh
can someone give me a hug1
Project manager talks like,
Its going to change the entire customer experience.
What actually changed :
Changed the icon of the button, that the customer never uses.
I used to worked for an IT consultancy in the UK and they would get trainers in to do courses a few times a year. There was this course on UML and people told me how great it was but I was very reluctant. My degree had covered UML and syntax for drawing diagrams to me is the most pointless and boring waste of time ever.
Turned out diagrams were just a tool and the real focus was on design. Anyway the teacher for the course was Kevlin Henny. He really is a fantastic speaker. I learnt so much about object oriented design from the course. These days I keep an eye our for any recordings of his talks.
Here is one of his talks if you are interested:
Security is a joke. And people don't seem to get it. Especially Data mungers.
I've spent about half an hour trying to work out how to securely connect to power BI using PowerShell in a renewable manner for unattended access later on.
Every single example I've found seems to involve you storing $user and $password variables inside your script. If I'm lucky, they're going to pass them through ConvertTo-SecureString. And nobody talks about securely storing AD auth tokens, or using the Windows Credential Manager.
I know it's possible, but it's going to take me ages to work out how from all sorts of disparate sources...16
I told you fucking moron clients doing that "little" change would be complicated and in the worst case it would end fucking up your whole spaghetti crap. A really HUGE spaghetti monster of that you aren't aware because you guys don't know a shit about coding conventions.
*Clients call me complaining about their software is broken*
-Hey, we're in serious trouble. Our users aren't being able to see the proper calculated values. Why that little change had so much side effects?
- I already told you why.
- Can you fix it asap? Our clients are complaining.
- No. Deploy an old copy of the affected modules while you give me a prudent time to refactorize that crap.
I used to work in their place, 3 years later I quit that crappy job and decided to make them my clients. I escaped from the micromanaging thing but I didn't from their ugly practices.
Anyways, I have to fix this shit asap. Money talks, at least until I can find a better client.
I applied for two technical talks in a popular conference summit, the two talks were turned down and the reason was that they are much more technical talks than mine. I switched to watch the live stream today and all i see is a bunch of stupid talks (they decided to pick a talk on git aliases over working with change streams and multi document transactions in mongodb). A friend of mine just told me, your talk won't be accepted if you don't know any of the organizers3
New dev guy in office, Does zero research when stuck in somewhere while doing a task. Goes around asking the team if they had done that before. Talks on the phone for like 10-15 mins with god knows who when he has a technical problem.
Doesn't even bother to do a simple debug before complaining about an exception in a service to the dev who wrote it (if he knows the dev who wrote it)
Interestingly, he marks the tasks he does in a google sheet in red, yellow and green rows that's shared with our tech lead.
Not that he bugs me or anything, but just thought i should share this here.6
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s a duck, right? So if this duck is not giving you the noise that you want, you’ve got to just punch that duck until it returns what you expect. -Patrick Ewing2
Taking a class at my local university for fun where the point of the class is to build some kind of project for local companies. The teacher talks a lot about Wordpress and how great it is... He's not a dev, and has only worked as a business consultant/pm.... It's gonna be a long semester, but at least he's funny and has good choices in tv shows to include in his lectures.1
this old bitch on my team keeps on taking my food like an elementary school bully and self proclaims herself as my work mom. it's come to a point where she just takes my food off my tray without asking lols
My petty ass has been bringing chocolate and other junk foods because I know she has thyroid problems
she also talks shit to other people when I go on vacation or call in sick so I don't even give a f10
I took a list on my job applications the other day. So far i’ve contacted 35 companies this year!
You can say about this covid crisis what you want but you can’t deny i’m pro-active. More talks tomorrow ánd friday. #wishmeluck
Proper English sentence structure, the kind that accurately conveys what you mean to ask me to do for you, requires a subject and a predicate. To hearken back to “Schoolhouse Rock”, if Mr. Morton is the subject of my sentence, then what the predicate says, he does. Mr. Morton walks. Mr. Morton talks. Etc.
Just tossing out random nouns and verbs in random order in an email will not help me to help you.
Fixed something that was giving our team a lot of trouble. Teammate asks, "How did you fix that?!?". I said, "I'm a code whisperer." Which really just means I whispered to the code, "Please work. Why won't you work. I just need you to work." The code replied, "Okay, but just this once. And only because you've been in the fetal position crying about me for two hours."
So apparently my computer is autonomous and talks now. What about you guys?1
Jit guy who is onboarding me talks slow, stutters(only in English) and talks 3x fucking times than-repeats sentences, tries to talk about things he does not know and ends with “I don’t remember/know it now”. Someone kill me please. I am too soft against these types, how can I say you are talking too much etc politely? It is like he feels lonely in corona times and wants to “onboard” me whenever possible...
Note: jit guy is the guy who pronounces Git as jit from my old rant.8
This year marks our 5th anniversary of devopsdays in Amsterdam and the whole team is working hard on making it the most awesome experience of 2017 for anyone interested in the devops movement. :)
I really believe this will make us be less frustrated and rant less! Though, I never want this app to end! =]
But what is an amazing conference without amazing talks? That's where you come into the picture. We have spots open for talks (lightning and non-lightning) and workshops.
If you feel like you have a valuable devops story to share please fill in our CfP here - https://devopsdays.typeform.com/to/... .
You can expect about 300-400 people at a talk and somewhere between 10-30 at workshops.
When is it? 28th-30th of June (2017)
Why Amsterdam? Amsterdam is pretty cool. We make it extra cool and make sure you're never hungry or thirsty.
Hope to see you there!
And I need to see devRanters there to share the best stories!
❤️️ on behalf of the Amsterdam organizers.3
Today’s text chat:
Me walking near the river in the middle of nowhere with a cellphone.
- I need image from test server. Can you provide me that image ? I need it for my local environment to fix something ( writes details of how to get an image ).
- Can’t you go to test server website and get it by yourself ?
- But this image is on canvas element.
- Because frontend is drawing in on canvas so go to network tab and get the url.
- Ah yes I can do that
I have such small talks all the fucking time. They accumulate when I go out to chill during the day.1
I've been to 4 kubernetes related tech talks and they've all been the fucking same. No depth, no new cool things, no little tricks or demonstrations, just the plain old boring shit I've seen a thousand times.
I've worked with it and love it for big projects, but going to conventions to hear someone talk about it is completely meaningless. Perhaps it's because I only learn by doing.
And before anyone says 'then don\'t go', I usually go with either friends or a colleagues and want to show my face, and have some drinks and snacks.
This was my techtalk.5
So I just started watching Eli The Computer Guy's videos on networking and I really like them so far(only on the introduction so far though), but I was a bit confused about some of the stuff and I thought to myself that some of this might be obsolote or not so much in use these days/different. So here are some questions(now bear with me, I'm still a noob to the whole topic of networking):
-Are Eli's videos on networking obsolete(besides the speeds that he talks about), what you recommend some other tutorial, if so which one?
-Is a switch necessary for a small network?
-Do we still connect routers to modems or do we just use what we refer to as a router(a mix between a router and a modem -> gateway/gateway router)?
-Can you connect an ethernet cable to your router/gateway?
-So according to Eli if you have multiple routers they make seperate networks that cant just be acessed from each other, then how come it be that I can access my rasperry pi when I'm connected on the network of one router when the raspberry pi is connected to the network of another router and how come it be that once you have the wifi password you can connect to all of them?8
Unemployment week one.
Tired of unsuccessful HR and engineering talks with people who don’t know what they want.
When you answer their questions they got pissed because they had something else in mind. Sorry I don’t read in people’s minds asshole.
Others try to be smart and give you some fancy acronyms. Yeah because that’s most important in coding - to memorize useless acronyms.
I responded with acronyms I know and they got pissed more cause my are more funny and cover all of theirs. Thanks KISS 💋
Some of them are like I am fucking smartest asshole on this video chat and you can’t have been working with all of those technologies, yeah I just typed hello world for 15 years in one language and stupid /REST shitty software like you do it in your one job in your lifetime.
Others are asking for cv, talking about this fancy great project that in fact you know how it will look like cause you’re experienced motherfucker who can pick up nuisance but still lets get hired first and then think what to do next with this shitty crap. So they respond after two weeks that client changed their mind and if you want to fill some quiz about your hiring process.
There are also ones that got impressed so much they’re talking 1 hour that you will be our next cto and then ending process with email that there were better candidates and also post same offer on job board next day 🤦♂️
I think I just skip this shitty nightmare and concentrate on some personal project until I spend all my savings.
I just need to concentrate on one thing and not get distracted with 1000s of voices shouting “pick me” in my head.
If you got offended fuck you unless you like it.
After working in one project in a big happy days bubble without distraction for couple of years I underestimated how fucked up people are in real world.
We’re making hell by ourselves on this planet we don’t need much help.5
Can anyone recommend good resources for learning how to design NoSQL (document) data models?
I'm interested in stuff that talks about how to make the choices about distributing data across collections, etc.
When to have a single collection, when to split data across different collections, when to duplication data, etc,6
Nothing feels better than seeing yourself doing better as a self taught web developer compare to some jsackass with a CS degree who talks about what he learnt in school couple years ago. Who cares? You can't do shit at work and I don't even know why you work here if you have no desire to learn new things. If he graduated in late 90s he would still be coding in PHP 3.0.2
More and more getting myself caught thinking about the code more than writing it. I mean I draft it, it is usually very shitty at the first moment, and insted of refinifng and adding spaces to moments I just sit think, write some ideas in my notebook, search on Stack overflow, listen to the music, and wait until the code talks to me.
I know it sounds like some hippie shit, but it actually happens and really solves the problem.
Anyone has the same thing?
on every company i worked for, i always had this "senior" team mate that seems really knowledgeable with the way he talks and just by looking at his resume but doesn't reflect on his work. smh1
Q - What is more frustrating than the code that won't compile?
A - Boss who is constantly asking you to compile this code.
- as quoted by @GoDmode1
Nothing worse that watching a tech talk where the presenter is accidentally condescending.
It's definitely a "know your audience" situation, but it's cringe worthy when explaining a really valuable topic.
Please don't speak if you don't have anything of value to add. Professional world is not classroom where you get marks for class participation. There's this guy in my team who is supposed to be developer but acts like analyst/PM, talks shit, mostly repeats what other have already said. There's no single meeting where he hasn't spoken or added anything valuable. Hate him.7
Some interesting reads I came across yesterday:
- Github got DDOSd with 1.35Tbps via memcached
- Troy Hunt, the creator of https://haveibeenpwned.com/ released "Pwned Passwords" V2 and talks about his partnership with cloudflare, how he handles traffic, why he chose SHA1 for the passwords, how he together with a cloudflare engineer thought of a solution to anonymize password checks and more
Today I watched "the birth and death of js":
Here Gary Bernhardt talks about compiling executables to asm.js and about running the compiled files using a js interpreter that can be included in the kernel.
Eventually, some responsibility can be moved from the kernel to this interpreter, responsibility like virtual memory and trap management.
This speech aims to be fun, so not everything should be taken seriously...
...this trick seems to be a nice idea, and projects like Node OS work likewise.
So now, would you even consider this? Or is it just something that will be nothing more than craziness of a mad man?1
For Silicon Valley fans, all of us?, looks like they visited Google last week.
And now in additional to TED Talks, I need to catch up on Talks at Google...3
Ted talks or music with tea (mostly office).
Food, music, hangout with friends/family, Animes, movies, TV series lot of options. 😀4
very interesting how uni stressed me tf out but is still better than school has been.
I'm taking a class which has a theoretical and practical part, and there is a guy leading the practical lesson. and after struggling to find motivation for studying, this class somehow probably gives me my hopes back... even though I'm way less capable than the rest in what we're doing, I still can follow everything, which is very suprising to me because I'm always behind and the class has some recommended classes I should've taken before (but I failed some or didn't take them at all)... I still can follow the class somehow?
so... school taught me to not ask question because even if they say there are no dumb questions... the possibility still existed that I could ask a dumb question (shoutout to my math teacher in 3rd class). so... I stopped and when I didn't understand something I gave up.
now... this class makes me feel differently, I can ask questions and the guy I've talked about talks to me normally, talks to me as human beings should talk with each other and doesn't judge me for making a mistake, because... mistakes are human and when I allow myself to ask questions I can learn from it.
this is really a weird epiphany I had this week
and I also don't know if anything of this makes sense1
for the last 6 consecutive Wednesdays, I've gotten some form of an email stating "sorry, venue super swamped, we definite want to find a way to work with you. we're still is talks with other developers, but we really like your knowledge of the project and want to work with you in some capacity". The only stated reason for not going with me in the first place was I told them the project would take 8-12 weeks, but they needed it turned around in 10 weeks max.... you do the math...1
Happened way back when I was still in high school and facebook was relatively new. We used to own a cyber cafe.
The Guy: (Talking to other customers) I'll have you know that I'm a graduate in Computer Science! *Proceeds to boast about self and other bullshittery*
Others: *In awe*
Me: *Veeeery Skeptical*
A few days later...
The Guy: (Talks to me) Hey, there seems to be a problem with your internet. I can't log in on facebook.
Me: Could you try to do what you are doing again?
The Guy: See, doesn't work.
Me: Have you registered your account on facebook?
The Guy: Huh? What are you talking about? I have my Yahoo! mail.
Me: ..You need to register your email on facebook in order to log in.
The Guy: What?? I don't get it. I am registered and have a Yahoo! mail!
Me: *Brain Sigh*
(I proceed to help him register his email on facebook)
The Guy: Oh, you had to register on facebook! Now I get it! I thought that if you created an email you can immediately use that to log in to facebook.
Me: *Internal facepalm x1000*
(This guy is a Computer Science graduate? Oh PLEASE. )
Sometimes my girl talks dirty to me. She says things like:
"I don't leave comments in my code"2
Just in case anyone here knows someone stupid enough to believe that all the major companies aren't listening to you ALL THE TIME.
TLDW: Dude doesn't own a dog, sees no dog ads on Google. Closes the browser and talks about dogs for a minute. Then multiple pages advertise dog toys to him.3
I've just started freelancing on PeoplePerHour. I'm in talks to secure a job migrating a C# webapp to a desktop scenario using HTML5 embedded within WPF, but I've never done this as a solo project before. What sort of price is sensible to charge for this? I'm working in GBP1
I haven't seen Gary Bernhardt's presentations linked in here yet, hopefully thats because everyones already seen them - but if you haven't, prepare yourself:
So another story of our stupid trainee, this fucker talks to a customer while i was comming back from my lunch break. He aks me if i can tell him how to fix the problem of the customer. I walk over to his place and look at the error message. It says: "Tag: customer_country is missing. Needed by supplier". Sometimes i wonder why this dude is even here.
I'm a software developer, but I'm finding myself more interested bio and electro-mechanical engineering. And to top it off, I'd most like to be a bio-mechanical engineer — which is very different from the other two previous mentions. ...But, I'm well paid now, my last retail start-up failed, and money talks. For now my fogponic ecosystem (fish + biofilter + fog + plants) in my backyard will have to suffice. Now I'm actually interested in waste recycling...
Yeah... I get bored while waiting for parts to come from China. Can never have too many hobbies.
Anyways AMA, if you like. It can be about robots, fish, plants, IoT, apps, web, solar power, 3D printing, VR... You name it!
I work as part of a small international team in a big corp , we work product quality of sorts but work closer to dev than qa , last week we found several giant issues and reported them in . Dev and Qa teams of said project are Indians . Meeting starts , two of my colleagues are indian as well , so dev , qa and all the other involved parties from india decided they should join in from the same conference room . My manager(he's a brit) presents the issues . Dev manager starts talking , qa manager talks over him , they start to formally yell at one another . One of them (couldn't figure out which one) started asking my two colleagues which one of them found these issues . At this point I had already passed a headphone to my ex-colleague who still sits next to me , he looks at me when he hears the question . I panic . Colleagues say they don't know (*phu* I didn't CC them in emails and my manager didn't tell them ) . My manager tells them to calm down , take responsibility and find solutions else he'll veto the product back into fullblown development . Other managers start growling and fighting again (more than 10 people were in the same room arguing) me and my ex-colleague decide to go take a coffee since I didn't have a saying in the meeting . We get back 10 minutes later , indians are still arguing over my manager trying to explain the issues a 4th time . I IM my manager and ask to drop the meeting , he gave me the ok and I dropped out, my head was hurting after an hour long meeting of angry indians arguing in a conference room and it kept hurting the whole day...yeah...meetings...fun time...
rant or !rant
Hey ranters have you checked podcast of devRant on Youtube. It's great.
All dev of this great community please subscribe to devRantApp on YouTube and increase it's views. While I'm ranting about it has only 1.2k views and 51 likes. Please check that out.
@dfox and @trogus Just listened to a podcast of devRant featuring Andy Hunt "Author of the Pragmatic Programmer".
My favorite line he said is " In effort to evaluate betn mediocre programmer from great programmer certification available is pathetic, this is why Alien don't come to visit us anymore".
He also talks about RubberDuck and many more.
Exercise and sports are good ways of relax and get some discipline. Writting, either blog posts or simply for yourself improves your communication skills. On the communication side, I've specially noticed that I improved by doing talks (dev and no-dev) even if it wasn't for and audiance of more than 30. Games also helped me with problem solving and management. There's a lot a stuff 😅
Ted talks. One moment it is 12:00 the next it is 10pm.
Thanks alot Vivaldi for putting Ted talks in the speed dial.
PS. I'm a nerd.
Uncle Bob, Martin Fowler, Kevlin Henney, Doc Norton, Allen Holub.
They have all taught me great things about software development, whether through books or superb conference talks.
I spent most of the first half of the year writing an app that talks to an API that a vendor custom-made for us, to automate the opening of vendor hardware replacement tickets. It went live yesterday on the vendor's side, and I began 13 days of PTO today. Rather than go full-on with it, I handed it to three engineers to test it while I'm gone and document their experience. Preliminary results have been very good. I figured that would be the smartest way to handle my absence and still get some valuable work done with it.
But I'm going out of my mind! I want feedback now! I want to work more on it! All I can do is keep a list of fixes and improvements and stare blankly at it until after my vacation is over. My mind is still wedged firmly in the backend. Must relax!1
I want to talk at a frontend conference. I've been dev'ing for 15 years. What do y'all want to know. Comment and up vote topics.4
Currently in talks with a designer girl about collaborating and coding her designs.
I've put forward my deal and the price for the work I offered to do.
Will she say yes? Will this deal happen?
Let's wait and see.4
So I’ve been programming for a little over a year now. Not too long, but long enough to realize something.
Everyone always talks about imposter syndrome and I don’t understand it. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like an imposter when I code, or that I’m a dumbass and can’t code or something(Well, I have definitely felt like a dumbass when I code but that’s because I am sometimes)
What makes you feel like you have imposters syndrome and how so?6
Today I read a book and it talks about giving feedback on others; as a developer we tend to give feedback and review others code almost everyday. When I write the code I always put a lot of effort on making it look at prefect but I found I am having trouble on receiving others criticising and comments being judgemental. Instead if we make it as a "draft" rather than "final", that will make you becoming more open towards others opinion. I find this is quite true and I hope this could benefit developers who have similar attitude :)2
What if a programmer was invited to the dear moon project? What would he make?
Probably a new JS framework or a new programming language? :P
That spacex event was one of the most inspiring event I have seen in a long while. I can't believe it is happening. That Q&A was very interesting and I like how Elon Musk talks, he tries really good to put things in layman terms.
And looks like Elon Musk is also going to space with Yazuka.
If I get a chance to go in lunar trip, I would be happy even if things go wrong and I have to die in space.1
So, it appears that when you have a disagreement about something with our new head of development, he puts you on a ‘shit’ list and the does everything he can to make you want to quit.
Tried to make out that your not integrating with the teams, excludes you from any discussion that you might have any opinions about, talks down to you and is generally two faced about everything he says.
Well f**k him.1
Hm... so my screen time makes me happy and so does building apps that do work for me.
And when the weather is nice, I go out...
So even though I have a lot of screen time, I am good right?
P.S that's an app I wrote that gets me the transcript since reading is faster than watching a talk (I now watch only if I want to see the slides/pictures).2
from rant import workflow
Tl;dr - I have a share of the product's backend, everyone expects it to work, no one cares how and i can spare with i, me, and myself getting there.
CTO: We need this solution, what do you need for data?
ME: Okay, thing0, thing1, thing2, preferably a ton of samples.
C: Here, also, there's a new full-timer who will help you. And you can do some sparing with.
M: Cool, i have several approaches to discuss.
*new full-timer attends fewer times than me as a part-timer*
*standup meetings talks about status, problems - yeah, whatever reactions*
*full-timer doesn't attend still, gets a "quick" (in case of consistently showing up) task to fix something in another backend part*
Me @ a standup lately: So, approach 4 worked, polishing it, but I soon-ish need to know a few things so I can finish up and fully integrate it.
CTO: Okay, when *full-timer* gets in so she's included.
*waiting for X days (x>8)*
Highload is like sex: everyone knows about it, everyone talks about it, everyone does it, but nobody knows how to actually do it right.
While Indian govt. talks about digitizing the country and is pushing ahead with it, their Employee's Provident Fund Org (EPFO) infra is absolutely shit and it's killing small time business that want to help their employees.
You need to add Digital Certs to do just about anything (great security wise) BUT,
The digital sign interface is written in Java Flash, that was dropped by all modern browsers 4 years ago.
The only stable working latest browser for it is Firefox 52 released 3 years ago.
The USB tokens used/supported are all Chinese that don't respect OSS drivers and fork built their own (read Watchdata) with no/shitty and cumbersome linux support (couldn't get it working after 2 nights of trying different versions of drivers).
You still have to run Windows to sign the docs or to interact with EPFO using legacy browsers from 2016
Non Tech problems: EPFO charges 500 Rs/month minimum admin charges, and I pay 1200 Rs PF for my driver. That kind of commission is plain stupid and will make small employers run away from paying PF for their employees.
Any interaction with EPFO is like having to eat thorns. painful, unnecessary bullshit. How useless can someone be building such a system released in 2019?
I just hope they fix it. A simple google search shows there is Web Crypto API for modern browsers. Someone wake these people up. SMH2
I don't even know if the shitty rant gets through this unreliable service I pay for with my money. I want to fucking wrap my hand in that money, light it up and fucking beat your teeth out while shoving this fucking money down your greedy, second arseholes. Honestly, what am I paying you for. These last couple of days your service was less reliable than a drunkard behind the wheel trying to drive in a straight line. Exactly this fucking week where there's a fucking hackathon. This very fucking week l where I got to be the team leader, you make me look like a fucking unreliable internet twat who just talks big. This very fucking week I'm given a internet service that doesn't even let me communicate with my team mates. Why do you dare to display fucking 3g? Is the the force my fist should take? Is it the fucking amount of gallons of acid you want to be showered with? Well fucking pay that shit with the money you earned. Just let me fucking work, let me give my best, give me a fucking way to look at the docs, give me a fucking way to test my code (chat bot), give me a fucking way to tell you to go fuck yourself using your fucking antennas, maybe thst will help.
Kindly, a pissed of customer who's rage makes the heatwave look like a lesser evil.1
In case you're struggling to learn something new, read this article to feel better. Else just read it anyway to feel better.
always keep learning ;)
I'm a student at uni and also one of the two web devs at a website agency.
Today, I got in office and my boss told be, that he just signed off (confirmed) two mobile apps ( we're switching to React Native) and is in the talks with a few other clients, also we're like a week from starting our first big project.
Furthermore, internship deadlines are ending at the start of next month.
Goodbye Life 😂 🔫 💻
Recruiter writes to me on LinkedIn for a job
Have an interview with the recruiter, everything smooth
Then interview with the HR of the company, everything smooth
Then the HR talks to the CTO, and the CTO is like "mmmmh this guy works as a consultant, I don't like this. Yeet him".
This absolute madman out there not giving a single flying fuck about consultants, head hunter, HR, only pure coding, literally living the dream.1
Opengenus talks about how his honesty bit him in his ass and I'd like to expound further on the topic.
You have to remember, honesty is rarely rewarded.
My motto is LLAMF, a powerful tool for success.
Like a buddhist mantra, I chant it every morning as I'm getting out of bed.
If you look around you'll see this wherever you turn your head. On the news? People lying like a mothafuka for their job. People selling something on tv? Billboard? internet? Lying like a mothafuka. People in fancy suits with fancy pieces of cloth tied around their neck to tell you who the master holding their dog leash is? "I did not kill that hooker", "We have to sign the law to know whats in it", "These ratfuck starving terrorhobos huddled inside a cave out in buttfuck nowhere, saudi arabia? They made a nuclear bomb!". Lying..like a mothafuka.
And all of them have careers, or jobs, or some cause, or principles they 'believe' in. Or nation they 'serve'. Or any other justification, any other *excuse*. But really thats all it is.
In this great big universe, you didn't exist for billions, possibly trillions of years, and now you do, for a brief span, and then afterward, you'll cease to exist (maybe, who knows what happens after death?), for more billions or trillions of years.
Put on that scale, no utterance out of your mouth *can* or *will* ever really truly matter. at all.
I say, go nuts for donuts.
Did you know I was almost a billionaire? TRUE STORY.
Did you know I once told a guy in a turtle neck sweater about this great new idea for portable phones. His name was steve jobs. TRUE STORY.
Did you know I cowrote a canticle for leibowitz? TRUE STORY.
Did you know I'm a mothafuking time traveler? TRUE STORY.
Napoleon said "Imagination Rules The World". Of course he also said a bunch of other things, mostly (all) in french. I don't speak french. But why live in ordinary reality when countless others do? Why not live in a world all your own making, and let people believe whatever the hell you tell them? Why not be the most interesting person in the room? Or the most obnoxious, but hey, at least no one can say you didn't try!
Lie to me. You know I love it when you do.
My favorite lie I tell to *myself*, every morning. Like zen. "I'm gonna do something great one day."
And it keeps me going, keeps me high.
Whats your favorite kinda lie?5
Slept for a bare total of 10 hours in the last three days, preparing, organising and headlining a Developer centric event with tech talks and Codelabs on Kotlin and ES6 at my university with just 3 active team members.
Professor incharge comes, fucks shit up, changed the ending note summary and sent it to the reporting authorities without my knowledge.
Now I am being asked why the actual event and the proposed agenda don't match.
Fuck shitty teachers who don't know what they're doing. 😑
Any Linux system admin here? Or any profession related to Linux? Want to share things with you. Also get some knowledge from small talks.12
I heard Facebook hears your talks and gives u as recommendations when u speak about a thing frequently. I want to know if it still hears even if I have disabled microphone permission to the app?2
Problem with product team meetings is that software talks for 4 minutes maybe out of the hour but then gets assigned all of the work. Then get yelled at because we didn't do any work while they were assigning us all the work. I hate meetings.1
Never done freelance but for those ranting this week this talk is a must watch "Fuck you, pay me":
It's also entertaining regardless. So everyone else should watch it too!
So, the first like seven minutes of the movie Goonies is an ad placement for the Jeep Cherokee and nobody talks about it.1
Ok, new to Twitter . Kinda liked it, followed some good techies , but i am quite confused in using it.. can someone help?
1) how to edit your tweet? Like if you did a typo or just need to change some text
2)when i visit it after a few hours( say 4 ) it shows 'incase you missed' , i press it and it will take me somwhere down. What's the meaning of that? All the messages above that message are of last 4 hours?Am i supposed to swipe up or down?
3) WHY THE FUCK AM I SEEING EXTREMELY STUPID 'PROMOTED' TWEETS HAVING MY PM'S RANTING AND OTHER POLITICAL TALKS WHEN CLEARLY AM A DEV WHO HAS FOLLOWED THE GOOD, TECH PAGES? How to just unsee those?somebody please lend a good ML algorithm to this weirdly naïve site called Twitter .
4)any good tech pages to follow?(general tech related news or datasciences)
I've always had this in the back of my head, and off lately it's eating me alive.
Why don't we just rename python3 to python and Python to python2?
no I'm not gonna alias it in my shell. I'm talking about renaming them in all the distros.
there've been talks about renaming python3 to python and marking it as the default for quite long, but nothing has come of it yet.
I get that a lot of shit is gonna go down if this happens rn, systems breaking, migrations, panic, a lot of systems still working on python2 but we need to migrate.
we've also been hearing a lot of speculation about "Python 4", from earlier this year.
WHAT IS HAPPENING UGHHHH
pls revolution now7
The best description of my job i ever heard:
„one time you’d opend a black window on the pc to put some Hacker commands in.“
And yes she talks about the cmd on her Windows 😂
Does anyone have experience with bad engineering coaches?
We have a new guy who came in to my team as a coach, and it has made my work life so much more stressful.
It’s hard to put my finger on what is wrong, but this guy seems to lack a bit of perspective on his role at the company.
He is not a manager — he does not have any formal power — yet talks as if he were in charge of the team.
This goes from changing the way we do stand up, to inserting himself into any technical discussion going on in the office. It has gotten to the point where I will hold technical discussions in other parts of the office to avoid him.3
Who here has an S/O that is in the tech field with them? Have you ever experienced the bliss of tech talks with someone that you relate to on a romantic level?3
I'm doing this internship because I'm a self taught programmer and I want to land a job at this obviously. Well I get this boss that first asks me for a chatbot. I'm a bit overwhelmed but decided to take it because didn't seem that complicated just time consuming. Then he goes and scale the chatbot to a full blown A.I. that talks, has a avatar reacting to emotions, has speech recognition and a lot of things. I been making progress on the normal bots you see around messenger and slack. I asked for more people to work for me and there is a guy who is working back-end and has never sit down and taught me his system even do I ask everyday for it. Seems like this internship is a waste of time. Any tips?10
This semester in college we're supposed to learn some machine learning using mostly Matlab. The first laboratories (technically the second, but the first we actually do something) we're learning basics of Matlab.
We were given an instruction PDF that talks about assigning variables, creating functions and classes, and some basic operators.
A the end of the instruction are exercises, but the thing is, they require knowledge of a lot of Matlab functions, like linspace, reshape, random numbers, vectors and matrices, but it does not tell anywhere about then or how to use them.
An example: exercise 4 tells us to read docs about 'ezplot' and plot sin^2(x).
Then, exercise 5 tells us to generate a 100 element linear space for -2pi to 2pi, calculate the sigmoid value of each point and plot it.
The professor looked personally offended that we had no idea what a sigmoid is and that we were all struggling to calculate it. He almost shouted at us for trying to use ezplot (which we assumed is what we're supposed to use based on exercise 4) instead of regular plot do visualize it.
I fucking hate this kind of professors.
Also, the real fuckfest is in the last exercise. I'll try to translate it to English as close as I can:
Create a 100 element vector of random positive integers and then save it as a matrix with the amount of rows equal to the amount of unique values in the vector and 100 columns and then for each element of the original vector encode it's value in the form of 1 in the field whose index equals the value of that element increased by one.
Yes it's all in one sentence, and no, nowhere in the instruction does it say how to do any of that.
Also, we have a test about all of that tommorow and I don't think anyone will pass it2
PO writes a story. We groom it. Point it. Do the work. Finish the work. Dev test it. Push it to test. Tester find a weird edge case. Talks to me. I agree it’s weird. I talk to PO and the PM in the standup. PO realizes the whole business flow doesn’t make any sense. Changes the AC. Asks us to change/redo shit. 2 days until the end of the sprint.
I guess I’m working this weekend. Not that I have to go anywhere 🤷🏽♂️4
Isn't it just great when there have been unrealistic deadlines chasing you and you keep missing, every day, for over a year?
Meanwhile this guy on the other team just talks on phone all day long for personal matters, no giving a shit to progress.
Yeah I know it's none of my business. But just get the fuck off my face. The mumbling is so annoying.
And he's also that guy I keep bitching about because of his desk finger drumming and keyboard smashing.
I watch talks with smart programmers, PyCons, MIT videos, play with stuff, poke at StackOverflow and contribute. For some reason that works for me and keeps my head clean.
worst "collab" or "group" proj?
hah! the job i have now
was moved half way across the USA, and as far as the business is concerned, to be with the actual team i'm on.
before moving i was constantly told to do something, well wait now don't, slow down it's not a race (i wasn't racing).
move, and after a couple months of the same i start doing someone's work who got a new position (he was where i moved from). do that guy's job for a year (isolated and nothing to do with the team)
eventually "done" with that guy's job and start getting back into the swing of things. lead/boss makes it sound like he'll have something for me to do every day and then never talks to me until the next day when he has some other exciting new proj i'll never be a part of
couple months go by, surprise! someone forgot a few things from that guy's job i was doing. -.- aufkm?
99% i've done at this job has been for naught. the work i have done is only usable by the few who actually have that program installed. oh and that program got sold to another company and it's been behaving like shit ever since.
should have just paid me the 2+ years salary to quit when i got this job
i mean i guess it's the opposite of a collab? but the purpose was to work on a team so idk, same diff to me
interview for a new position within the company (under contract bc of the move and can't leave w/o paying them) is coming up, also a chance to move back home *fingers crossed*
Odd question to a dev community who are naturally socially awkward that talks to their ducks.
Even then, for those of us who do have a social life, we just chill when we need to. Anyone who "tries" to balance their life would find it very stressful. Just go with it. Do what you need to do at that scheduled time and when time is up, do the other thing that you promised yourself.
Others: "Easier said than done! You don't have to push releases and squash bugs in critical moments!"
Then that's a trigger to the question, "Do you even live, bro? There's more to life than just dev all day err'day."
Don't think too much.
I found devRant when I search for a website that provides free t-shirts, stickers and hoodies.
would it happen with you?4
What is the point of https://pusher.com/sessions ? It's just like youTube, but with no ability to comment. I think the conversation in the comments is half of the content for developer talks. :/
I finally have some motivation to write some personal code... on an existing project.
(Work has been too hectic the last few months so don't want to do anymore at home...)
Anyway... I noticed that my Prime Video Tracker app doesn't pick up some of the new Movies now available on Prime, so I did some fixing.
Good News (GN): The search URL is actually static so can goto the same URL for the same search results
GN: The program can filter the movies by a Minimum # of Ratings they have (currently set to 100... use to be 10)
Bad News (BN): The number of movies in the search results is over 5000 (used to be 100-200) so even with this filter, a lot get returned.
GN: the traversal is fully automated
BN: Need to manually look at the descriptions of each and add them the Watchlist
BN: I now have 200 movies on my Watchlist and still going...
So now I have another "Infinite list". Existing ones:
-Blinkist Read List
-Comics (sort of, I have a huge backlog for Cyanide and Happiness)
-Photos that need "post-processing"
I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting some others...
Depends on the project:
If it’s just me on the project 1.5x actual estimate which is based on whether or not I can figure it out from looking at the code.
If others are on it 3.5x to include things like getting others up to speed, discussions, design talks etc.
So this week is Project Management Week. There was an email with a lot of scheduled online talks sent Friday which I just happened to see.
I forward it to my boss with specific talks I strongly suggest the team join... because it may help with a lot of problems we have (i feel like we're semi/barely agile)
Well he just forwarded the email to everyone else including the full history...
Not sure if this is a passives aggressive response subtly telling me to just keep my mouth shut about what I think everyone else should be doing...
I saved myself headaches and whenever some one talks about this thing, I leave ...
Code gets complicated? Blame the one who forced that coding style in front of management and go to sleep peacefully.
Either work like an adult and accept criticism or go away and let me do what I'm paid for ...2
Oh man! M in love with one girl! I am in final year of engineering IT and she is in CSE, both have secured good placement, botha are from same community, first i thought she liked me, but when i asked her out to come with me..for a party of my placement, she says no !! :( . Why? Coz her classmates tease her with the name of boys she talks too and she doesn't like that :( ! I am really into her 😿 why do i get friendzoned :(. I really thought she might be into me aswell. I am sad. Love hurts 💔, family love❤2
Quite interesting talks and discussion, if you are interested in non-technical topics of machine learning
Tristan Harris: The manipulative tricks tech companies use to capture your attention
I dunno.... I feel I don't fall into this stuff... am I alone?
Or is it that I actually rarely leave the tech sphere?
do competitors count? today i am a lecturer. the other one from another company talks bullshit all the time. unfortunately we have to show an united front.
You know how the machine learning systems are in the news (and Ted talks, tech blogs, etc.) lately over how they're becoming blackbox logic machines, creating feedback loops that amply things like racism on YouTube, for example. Well, what might the ML/AI systems be doing with our code repositories? Maybe not so much yet, I don't know. But let's imagine. Do you think it's probably less worrisome? At first I didn't see as much harm potential, there's not really racist code, terrorist code, or code that makes people violence prone (okay, not entirely true...), but if you imagine the possibility that someone might use code repositories to create applications that modify code, or is capable of making new programs, or just finding and squishing bugs in code algorithmically, well then you have a system that could arguably start to get a little out of control! What if in squashing code bugs it decides the most prevalent bugs are from code that takes user input (just one of potentially infinite examples). Remember though, it's a blackbox of sorts and this is just one of possibly millions of code patterns it's finding troublesome, and most importantly it's happening slowly (at first). Just like how these ML forces are changing Google and YouTube algorithms so slowly that many don't notice the changes; this would presumably be similar and so it may not be as obvious as one would think. So anyways, 'it' starts refactoring code that takes user input into something 'safer'. Great! But what does this mean? Not for this specific example really, but this concept of blackbox ML/AI solutions to problems we didn't realize we had, what does a future with this stuff look like (Matrix jokes aside)? Well, I could go on all day with imaginative ideas... But talking to myself isn't so productive, let's start a fun community discussion here! Join in if you find this topic as interesting as I do! :)
Note: if you decide to post something like "SNN have made this problem...", or other technical jargan please explain it as clearly as possible. As the great Richard Feynman once said, the best way to show you understand a thing is to be able to explain it clearly to others who don't understand it... Or something like that ;)3
I have a list of favorites but the first person that always usually comes to mind is John Romero.
I love listening to the talks Romero gives and even though I don’t partake in the practice of developing games I still love hearing his stories about his projects development or having to work with old/retro tech and learn something from those stories.
I feel really inspired with article, posts and videos about programming. But conference's talks are one of the biggest inspiration sources!
I just don't get why nobody ever even talks about ShellScript any longer! While it is still extremely relevant unlike Ruby... Whaaat?2
If you don't know it yet, there is an awesome youtube channel full of talks about web developement. It's name is Coding Tech, just saying.
Ok, now seriously. Am I the only one bothered with all those fancy congresses and cool events that first open up the speaker list, rush you on buying the tickets, raise prices, and... AGES later, weeks before the event day maybe, they finally release what the heck they'll be speaking about?
I totally understand those who go to events mostly for networking, but c'mon event organizers, focus on the topics, no the person on the stage. They're just the mean to spread knowledge, NOT its own embodiment.
Can we change report and response sides on comment?
Everytime I click report because it's on right side. I think right side is noble (UX talks) and in others apps, very, often you comment on right side.1
Is docker even suitable for anything that isn't deployment?
So much time, so much effort, so much trial and error, and I still feel like I don't know what Docker is for.
I had a development VirtualBox machine, which I used just to compile my code and test my application. So I said "why don't I just use Docker? It would be way simpler". Also because that fucking Virtualbox image was like 10GB, and it was slow af.
The VirtualBox machine wasn't created by me, but it was just given to me by a previous developer, so I just had to imagine what I needed and pick up the pieces. In few hours I was ready with my Dockerfile.
So I tried it, and....... obviously it didn't work. I entered inside my container and I tried to manually execute commands in order to see where it breaks, and I tried to fix each of them. They were just the usual Linux dependencies problems, incompatibility among libraries, and so on.
Putting everything in order, I started over again with a virgin Ubuntu image, and I tried to fix every single error that appeared, I typed something like 1 hundred commands just to have my development machine up and running.
Now I have a running container that works, I don't know how to reproduce it with a Dockerfile, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it, because I'm afraid that any wrong command could destroy the container and lose all the job I did. I can't even bind folders because start/exec doesn't support bindings, so I've to copy files.
Furthermore, the documentation about start/exec is very limited, and every question on StackOverflow just talks about deployment. So am I wrong? Did I use containers for something that wasn't their main purpose? What am I supposed to do now? I'm lost, I feel so much stupid.
Just tell me what to do or call a psychologist8
I am on my first job, so my boss is the best one I ever had no matter what. But he is a seriously nice person.
He has a daughter he sometimes talks about, he knows the technical stuff, he told me what his visions for the company are (finally moving to git, peer reviews, getting rid of the old Delphi code bases, more Linux support, all the good stuff) and I can work whenever I want.
The only problem: the salary is not that great although developers are in high demand :/
i am frightened. i have a feeling the only person i can talk about programming stuff twice a year is getting out of touch.
as if the rarity of the talks is not bad enough, our tech stack edges away every time. he is the most intelligent person, yet i see no huge advantages and my strides just raise a shrug. not out of lack of interest but from pure inexperience. we have a long history of joint projects, but i fear the day only he relieves about his webdev experiences with his php-es5-css-stack, while i can not contribute with my knowledge about python- and vba-automation, oop and es6+. as if he would not be able to wrap his head about all this in a blink of an eye.
Many of the rants on here could be really good venues to explore at tech talks! Anyone have those at their workplace? How does it usually go and what do you guys do / talk about? I'm curious
Want do you think about the idea that if the world of development does not develop best practices and standards that governments will see it as a threat and try to regulate standards? It is something Bob Martin talks about.
Because he gave us Psychobitch (https://youtube.com/watch/...)
His British humor,... just watch some talks..1
Just found some of Andrei Alexander's I'd videos on YouTube. Specifically the cppcon 15 talks. Does anyone else here know of talks or books etc all that can satisfy my near-juvenile love for fast code.
Does anyone know any good resources that walk you through building a image localization neural network(preferably in tensorflow)? Something that talks you through the though process behind the network design decisions and perhaps examples of training data used to train the network? It seems like every search result is just an example of how to download a premade network and it's weights which from a learning perspective is not very helpful. I'de really love to see one of the Yolo version walked through and trained but honestly any localization would be helpful.
After one months of lessons, 3 at the weeks; my teacher talks about sets...
One girl look the friend and she said " what is a Singleton?"
Why is C++ so political?
because I/O interpreter listens like a rightist and talks like a leftist.1