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Search - "pm job"
Scene: Senior developer left, 3 Junior devs(including me) are now loaded with work.
*Intern asks for help*
JuniorDev1: I have 2 projects of which i'm the lead on one. I don't have time to help anyone.
JD2: 2 projects as well dude, speak to me after work, much easier then.
Me: 3 projects, lead on two. Sure how can i help you.
Took less than 5 minutes to help the intern.
2 hours Later. Check in meeting
PM: Our Junior devs are really busy and can't always help you guys. JD1 are you overloaded?
JD1: Yes, is their anyway we can split the one projects work?
PM: Sure. JD2 are you overloaded?
JD2: Not really, but i agree on splitting the projects between the three of us.
Me: *Are these fuckers serious? i have three projects, they have 2 and they wanna give me more work because they are overloaded and don't know how to manage their time*
PM: Ok cool, i'll update it. CooCooK4Choo, i see you building your own game during lunch time. You definitely not overloaded.
Me: Actually! what i do in my lunch time is my own personal work because it's the only time i have to work on personal projects. I actually do feel overloaded with the 3 projects and now more work from them, could we split the work load evenly please.
PM: I thought you said you could handle the 3 projects?
Me: I can, i have been, but with more work coming my way i don't think i'll be able to.
PM: Unfortunately i need the other Junior Devs on demand, so i won't be able to split the work load evenly.
Me: On demand for what? Why not let the interns help?
PM: In case i need their help. The interns are helping the other Junior Devs with things that don't require too much out of them.
Me: *This FUCKEN BITCH!* Cool, I'm done with the 1 project, expect the business rules at the end of the day. I'll see if i can get the other 2 near done by Friday so i can have time to look over the code of the new projects that i'll be splitting with the other Junior Devs.
PM: Cool, glad we all on the same page.
You know what? FUCK this stupid shit of favoring people in the FUCKEN work place.
This is my first full-time job ever, I've been here for a full year today and i can honestly say these people are just giant children with money. I should know, out of work i am a giant child, but from 8:00 - 16:00 i'm a FUCKEN adult.18
Boss: make this thing
Me: yeah no worries. Where is the spec?
Boss: We don't have enough one but we outsourced the design so call him
Designer: haven't started yet
Boss: I'm going on holiday. I'll leave this to you.
Me: erm ok. I'm having a few problems getting stuff out of the designer though.
*2 weeks later and still no designs*
Boss: I'm back. Where is the progress?!
*1 week later i get half designs that sort of make sense*
Boss: hurry up!
*1 week later*
Me: designer you're busting my balls here
Designer: yeah lol
Me to boss: still having problems. No idea what I'm doing.
Boss: deal with it
*2 days later*
PM: we are demoing it to clients tomorrow
Me: brilliant. I'll become a magician then.
* Meeting goes well and no one notices the thing is a bit buggy*
*2 days later*
Me to boss and pm: you already know whats going on but I'll keep trying.
Boss: ok it's just a proof of concept anyway.
Designer: yeah here's the rest of the designs lol
*1 week later, the designs made no sense, no idea what they wanted but hey it's a proof of concept so I'll just do my best...*
*suddenly again, hey you have 1 week before we sell it. Lol. smashes a product together as fast as humanly possible, due to half designs and no time to do it right even html classes and CSS aren't right - didn't know things would be repeated at the time. No time to fix entire thing. Luckily just a proof of concept*
New senior developer: hey boss just said this is being sold tomorrow.
Me: wtf..It's a proof of concept and i was given longer...
New senior developer: no
Senior developer and all colleagues: it's full of bugs and doesn't work
Me: yes that will happen without specs, random tight deadlines, no designs that made sense and a total of about a week and a half to make an entire system for multiple user types to make applications, send messages, post jobs, handle all paperwork and move paperwork among different user types as they go through applications. I told everyone what was going on but i get no support...
Boss: wtf i gave you so long! All i know is my entire staff is working on a product that should be done ages ago
Me: ok, however i have said almost every day i need-
Boss: I'm not interested
*I finish my placement year and never get any promised work or the job offer*
The moment when you're failing the university, you desperately wish to drop out of it and your parents push you to inhuman amounts of things to get you to finish the bloody thing when not even a bachelor's degree will ever help you in anything and it seriously wasted 5 years of "studying" about things in food technology that were there in the USSR. I think you failed to notice that 26 years have gone after that. More years than my age is, basically, and the tech has moved forward so much I will never be able to utilise at least 80% of what I was "taught". Yeah, it's nice pretending you're somehow smarter than everyone else in your room when you have a degree like that, right?
I'm studying at a professional college right now and it's 11 AM to 5 PM five days of the week. How am I supposed to be able to combine a university that never helps one even fucking slightly if you have a job or something similar? And it also insists that it won't take away grades if you don't go there, but simultaneously it actually does that. I'm the type who cannot be made to do something in some cases even if there is no other way perceivable.
I just want to get a goddamn job that pays, but I need something that gives me salary of at least about 1000 USD equivalent to just be able to hopefully rent a small flat and have some money to spare.
Now I have to be going to the college. I might end up getting my PC taken away from me a THIRD time since me and my friends built it. And it's only been a bit more than a year since that :|
Did I tell you my age? 23.
And these people(my parents), think they can bitch, moan, take things away from me(the things that helped me all my life to not go insane from their actions), then scream at and even hit me if I don't act 100% the way they want me to.
AND THEY WILL SAY THEY WANT ME TO SUCCEED AND THAT THEY STAND FOR MY FREEDOM.
If there is some force that can help me out of this, I summon thee!
Sorry for that. I needed to have that out of my system.34
You know what?
Young cocky React devs can suck my old fuckin LAMP and Objective-C balls.
Got a new freelance job and got brought in to triage a React Native iOS/Android app. Lead dev's first comment to me is: "Bro, have you ever used React Native".
To which I had to reply to save my honor publicly, "No, but I have like 8 years with Objective-C and 3 years with Swift, and 3 years with Node, so I maybe I'll still be able help. Sometimes it just helps to have a fresh set of eyes."
"Well, nobody but me can work on this code."
And that, as it turned out was almost true.
After going back and forth with our PM and this dev I finally get his code base.
"Just run "npm install" he says".
Like no fuckin shit junior... lets see if that will actually work.
Node 14... nope whole project dies.
Node 12 LTS... nope whole project dies.
Install all of react native globally because fuck it, try again... still dies.
Node 10 LTS... project installs but still won't run or build complaining about some conflict with React Native libraries and Cocoa pods.
Go back to my PM... "Um, this project won't work on any version of Node newer than about 5 years old... and even if it did it still won't build, and even if it would build it still runs like shit. And even if we fix all of that Apple might still tell us to fuck off because it's React Native.
Spend like a week in npm and node hell just trying to fucking hand install enough dependencies to unfuck this turds project.
All the while the original dev is still trying TO FIX HIS OWN FUCKING CODE while also being a cocky ass the entire time. Now, I can appreciate a cocky dev... I was horrendously cocky in my younger days and have only gotten marginally better with age. But if you're gonna be cocky, you also have to be good at it. And this guy was not.
Lo, we're not done. OG Dev comes down with "Corona Virus"... I put this in quotes because the dude ends up drawing out his "virus" for over 4 months before finally putting us in touch with "another dev team he sometimes uses".
Next, me and my PM get on a MS Teams call with this Indian house. No problems there, I've worked with the Indians before... but... these are guys are not good. They're talking about how they've already built the iOS build... but then I ask them what they did to sort out the ReactNative/Cocoa Pods conflict and they have no idea what I'm talking about.
Well, one of these suckers sends a link to some repo and I find out why. When he sends the link it exposes his email...
This Indian dude's emails was firstname.lastname@example.org...
We'd been played.
Company sued the shit out of the OG dev and the Indian company he was selling off his work to.
I rewrote the app in Swift.
So, lets review... the React dev fucked up his own project so bad even he couldn't fix it... had to get a team of Indians to help who also couldn't fix it... was still a dickhead to me when I couldn't fix it... and in the end it was all so broken we had to just do a rewrite.
None of you get npm. None of you get React. None of you get that doing the web the way Mark Zucherberg does it just makes you a choad locked into that ecosystem. None of you can fix your own damn projects when one of the 6,000 dependency developers pushes breaking changes. None of you ever even bother with "npm audit fix" because if security was a concern you'd be using a server side language for fucking server side programming like a grown up.
Mine are still working.25
Got pulled into a meeting with my PM at 4:30 yesterday. Was a bit worried (been feeling some imposter syndrome recently), but then he starts out, "These are my favorite meetings to have." I got a pretty big raise! Totally unprompted. I love my job and my PM.2
I've had my share of incompetent coworkers. In order of appearance:
1. A full stack dev. This one guy never, and I mean NEVER uses relationships in their tables. No indexing, no keys, nada. Couple of months later he was baffled why his page took ten seconds to load.
2. The same dev as (1). Requirement was to create some sort of "theme" feature for a web app. Hacked it by putting !important all over the place.
3. The same dev again. He creates several functions that if the data exists returns a view, and if it doesn't, "echo '0'". No, not return 0 or return false or anything, but fucking echo. This was PHP. If posted a rant about this a few months ago.
4. Same dev, has no idea what clean code is. No, not just reusable functions, he doesn't even get indenting right. Some functions have 4 spaces, some 2 tabs, some 6 tabs! And this is inside the same function. God wait until he tries Python...
5. Same dev now suggests that he become the PM. GM approves (very small company). Assigns me to travel to a client since they needed "technical assistance about the API". Was actually there to lead a UAT session.
Intermezzo, that guy went from fullstack dev to PM to sales (yes, one who calls clients to offer products) to business development, to product analyst in the span of two years.
After a year and a half there, I quit.
6. New company, a "QA engineer" who also assumes the role as the product owner. Does absolutely no tests other than "functional tests" in which he NEVER produces any form of documentation. Not even a set of test cases. He goes by "intuition".
7. Same guy as (6), hands me requirements for a feature. By "hands me" I mean he did that verbally. No spec documents, no slack chat, no Trello card. I ended up writing it as a card in Trello. Fast forward to the due date, he flips out because that wasn't what he wanted. Showed him the card. He walked away, without thinking of a solution how this mess should be handled.
Despite all this, I really don't want him (6&7) to leave the company. The devs get really stressed out at this job and he does make a really good person to laugh with/at.
I've worked for about two months at my (first) job. Its amazing.
We create audio/video software for the products we make.
There are 9 programmers besides me, I'm the only junior. And I'm still learning my way around the code, but they still value my input.
We only do stand ups for 5-10 min, like it should.
One if my colleagues helps me often when I have questions, so I've nicknamed him ducky.
My pm is awesome, he's great at coding and a great manager.
When we work overtime, the department pays for delivery food and drinks.
And we've already gone on 2 trips with the department, mountain biking and a BBQ.
I love my job and I hope that I'll soon be good enough to ask less questions.3
Project manager : I want you to do the job by tomorrow.
Me : I can't, there's some problem with MySQL.
PM : Then use somebody else's SQL, but I want the job done by tomorrow!
Me : *weeps in silence*6
I applied for a backend job. Somehow i ended up doing frontend. Ok whatever the pay is alright and i dont mind doing js. But then i see the backend team doing absolute horseshit, stacking up overhead and not even fucking documenting the endpoints, i get mad.
And now our sysadmin left so there is no fucking server and i cant run locally because of 9trillion config files (remember the overhead part?) and the pm is nagging me to get the site done WHEN THERE IS NO FUCKING SERVER. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, SET IT ALL UP AGAIN? THATS NOT MY FUCKING JOB YOU IMBECILE FUCKFACE.8
Application has had a suspected memory leak for years. Tech team got developers THE EXACT CODE that caused it. Few months of testing go by, telling us they're resolving their memory leak problem (finally).
Today: yeah, we still need restarts because we don't know if this new deployment will fix our memory leak, we don't know what the problem is.
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING IN THE LOWER REGIONS FOR THREE FUCKING MONTHS?!?!?! HAVING A FUCKING ORGY???????????????
My friends took the time to find your damn problem for you AND YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS???
It was in lower regions for 3 MONTHS and you don't know how it's impacting memory usage?!?!?! DO YOU WANT TO STILL HAVE A JOB? BECAUSE IF NOT, I CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU. YOU DON'T DESERVE YOUR FUCKING JOB IF YOU CAN'T FUCKING FIX THIS.
Every time your app crashes, even though I don't need to get your highest level boss on anymore for approval to restart your server, I'M GOING TO FUCKING CALL HIM AND MAKE HIM SEE THAT YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT. Eventually, he'll get so annoyed with me, your shit will be fixed. AND I WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR USELESS ASS ANYMORE.
(Rant directed at project manager more than dev. Don't know which is to blame, so blaming PM)28
Man I really need to get this off my chest. So here goes.
I just finished 1 year in corporate after college. When I joined, the team I got was brilliant, more than what I thought I would get. About 6 months in, the project manager and lead dev left the company. Two replacements took their place, and life's been hell ever since.
The new PM decided it was his responsibility to be our spokesperson and started talking to our overseas manager (call her GM) on our behalf, even in the meetings where we were present, putting words in our mouth so that he's excellent and we get a bad rep.
1 month in, GM came to visit our location for a week. She was initially very friendly towards all of us. About halfway through the week, I realized that she had basically antagonized the entire old team members. Our responsibilities got redistributed and the work I was set to do was assigned to the new dev (call her NR).
Since then, I noticed GM started giving me the most difficult tasks and then criticizing my work extra hard, and the work NR was doing was praised no matter what. I didn't pay much attention to it at first, but lately the truth hit me hard. I found out a fault in NR's code and both PM and GM started saying that because I found it, it was my responsibility to fix it. I went through the buggy code for hours and fixed it. (NR didn't know how it worked, because she had it written by the lead dev and told everyone she wrote it).
I found out lately that NR and PM got the most hike, because they apparently "learnt" new tech (both of them got their work done by others and hogged the credit).They are the first in line to go onsite because they've been doing 'management work'. They'd complained to GM during her visit that we were not friendly towards them. And from that point on if anything went wrong, it would be my fault, because my component found it out (I should mention that my component mostly deals with the backend logic, so its pretty adept at finding code leaks).
What broke my patience is the fact that lately I worked my ass off to deliver some of the best code I'd written, but my GM said in front of the entire team that at this point "I'm just wasting money". She's been making a bad example out of me for some time, but this one took the cake. I had just delivered a promising result in a task in 1 week that couldn't be done by my PM in 4 weeks, and guess what? "It's not good enough". No thank you, no appreciation, nothing. Finally, I decided I'd had enough of it and started just doing tasks as I could. I'd do what they ask, but won't go above and beyond my way to make it perfect.
My PM realized this and then started pushing me harder. Two days back, I sent a mail to the team with GM in cc exposing a flaw in the code he had written, and no one bothered to reply (the issue was critical). When I asked him about it, he said "How can you expect me to reply so soon when it's already been told that when anything happens we should first resolve within the team and then add GM in the loop?" I realized it was indeed discussed, but the issue was extremely urgent, so I had asked everyone involved, and it portrayed him in a bad light. I could've fixed it, but I didn't because on the off chance if it broke something, they'd start telling me that I broke the tool, how its my fault and how its a critical issue I have to fix ASAP, etc. etc., you get the idea.
Can anyone give me some advice of how to deal with this kind of situation? I would have left but with this pandemic going on, market being scarce and the fact that I'm only experienced by 1 year, I don't think I qualify for a job switch just now.17
During a random meeting for a project:
PM: We'll need you to learn Go for this project. It says you know python in your job skills, so it should be easy.
Me: Uh, hiiii. I'm in security, not development. Can't help you, I really shouldn't even be here.
PM: I think Go has security built-in, does that help?
Me: ... I don't know, you need a developer.
PM: Do you know any Go people?
Me: I think that's something you should know.
- Silence enters the room -
PM: Yes perhaps, but you don't know anyone?
Google is getting smarter with their recruiters, if those recruiters are even people at all. I have this recruiter message me once a month and her messages are so targeted and specific.. like.. she ACTUALLY read my profile. She writes a lengthy message that includes my previous company's name, work experience, and even the projects I have on Github (as in specific questions, not just the name of the repository or some shit that can easily be scraped). She mentions events specific to the area where I live in, etc.
She's doing these things that I've been planning to do. Maybe a web crawler and a game of adlib to make people think you actually read about them and cared one bit when in reality, you're just a bot who have access to public information. You just bind them all together and fill in the blanks and then send it away.
Maybe you have a few message templates and use a bit of code to shuffle some words a little bit, make them less perfect and more human. Throw in a few "unintentional" mistakes to make it look more casual, add some warmth to your cold, metallic, robot heart. With all these, you get more variety on the messages you send. Maybe apply some machine learning or some shit, have it listen/read from different people, and give it an illusion of a personality.
But what's this? She did not send the message on an "o'clock" time. It wasn't 12:00 AM at all, or 7:00 PM, or 4:00 PM. The follow-up email was sent on 12:20 AM. Was all the messages queued and the job runs at 12:00 AM but she's sent it to so many that it reached me 20 minutes later? Nah. Or maybe this is intentional, some low-key "I'm not a bot, I don't operate at exactly 12:00 AM. I don't have a cron, I have a heart." But if I were to make one, I would send it at times like 9:34 AM, a little less suspicious. I want to see if there's a pattern on what time she sends these things but I only see the date on the previous messages now because I didn't care enough to read it before.
Also, this is LinkedIn, they give scrapers a hard time but then again, this is Google and they have the money to pay for abuse. Now I want to check our time difference. What time did she actually send this and was it really rainy in Ireland that time OR ARE YOU LYING TO ME, CLAUDIA? I thought you cared about me? Was it all a fucking lie? Do you know me at all? Or was it all just a clever game to get into my pants?
Now I want to make a new account that has almost the same details to see if she messages that one but I don't want to go back to the asylum, I know how deep it goes. I either hunt down this bot or make a counter-bot to cross-check all the shit she and other recruiters are telling me.
Or maybe this is exactly what they want to happen.. For me to lose my mind and post in a forum where I would "unintentionally" spread the word and they can attract/trap more people.
Fuck it, early onset dementia.2
Allright, I'm pissed.
Warning: more than 4k characters written by a non native english speaker ahead.
> Short summary of the current situation
> "Something being said"
> (Something being thought)
* Actions *
-- Background --
In an attempt to reorganize my desktop I accidentally deleted a folder I called "development". In there I stored links to all my IDEs (Not sure how you call these in english), but also some workspaces like unity (Not much stuff there, processing (just some hobby stuff) AND Eclipse (FUCKING EVERYTHING RELATED TO SCHOOL WEB DEVELOPMENT). Now 3 days have passed and I realized this important folder was missing. Cleared that windows trash the instant I deleted the trash on my desktop.
> Shit, Regret
Install a file restore programm. Do every possible search. Nothing found.
> Big shit
Deadline was in like 3 days. Week was fucking rough so:
> "Screw this, the teacher nevet corrects the assignments and also fuck JSP"
Fast forward 2 months to last week. Teacher starts checking assignments.
* Sees pattern: Only students with missing or bad marks are checked. *
* Feels save *
Teacher approaching me while working on current projects.
* Doesn't feel save anymore *
> "Well, I'ld like to see your THAT programm"
> Well fuck
* Tells the truth *
> "Well that's unfortunate, but I must write a mark. Do you really have nothing to show?"
* Remember that I worked on the school pcs when I started *
> (Better than nothing. Gotta try it)
* Teacher checks programm, not pleased *
> (Fuck me, but at least it's over...)
* Teacher calls me over *
> "With the mark I had to write today you can't reach that good mark even with a good examination, what are we gonna do about this?"
> "Well, there were other assignments that were never checked. Could we replace that mark with one of those?"
* Teacher agrees *
> (Srly bless this guy for that support)
My best choice was an Android app we had to develop during December in pairs. I did the front end (90% of the whole work) and my partner the backend (10 %). I also did 30 % of these 10 %, because I had to review the shit he wasn't able to debug himself.
> brainlogic.exe provided by windows vista
This distribution was partly my fault since I overestimated the work needed for the backend, but also the fault of that fucker. I mean, he didn't tell me the professor already provided 90 % of the backend...
Rest of the week was really busy (always 1 or 2 things to study for each day, workout and family stuff).
Yesterday (It's past 12 already) I arrived at ~9 pm in the dorm I could finally start reviewing my code.
Internet gets shut down at 10 pm.
* Opens project *
* Sees half a year old code *
* Fights urge to puke *
> (Alright I gotta do this. For the mark!)
* waits for gradle to index files *
* Remembers the fact that I haven't opened Android Studio in the last 2 months *
For those who don't develop with android studio: This is an equivalent to ~10k windows updates waiting to be installed
> (Well, gotta work with this kinda old version)
"gradle sync failed"
> ( Ok, just restart it. You're fine )
* Android Studio doesn't react anymore and/or renders *
* Waits 5 min *
* Restarts laptop *
* Android Studio is reacting again*
"gradle is synching"
9:45 pm: gradle is done and I can finally compile my app
* Sees App launched on phone *
* Almost pukes again *
> (This was the assigment for the UX chapter, so design doesn't matter)
UX is decent. Proceeds with testing stuff. Save paths work, but some bugs can be caused by going of it
* fixes as much as possible *
* Takes quick look at backend *
Date date = new Date (GregorianCalender.getInstance().getTimeInMillis());
C'mon, I asked you to be the backend. You got 90% of the methods already written by the teacher and had 2 months to write the interfaces to my Front end AND you come up with shits like that.
Note: this example is a minor example of brainlogic.exe
I did what I could to make improve my situation. Hopefully he doesn't discover the bugs. And If it's a backend bug then I could't care less, since that was not my job!
Wish me luck for today!9
PM emailed me a document from a customer to distribute it to the right people.
Me (in my head): WTF? You are the PM, that's your fucking job.
But I opened the document and read it. Some blah about requirements we discussed with the customer earlier. And the request to sign it as agreement on the requirements. The customer even put the names of the people at the end, he suspected to be the right ones.
So I send an email back to PM that this is project stuff, not my business. Case closed for me.
Half an our later PM enters my office, telling me he thought I was the right guy for this topic and he didn't know who else could be interested in it.
So I told him that this document is about defining project requirements and that he could have sent it to the people that are mentioned at the end of the document.
Turned out he didn't even opened the document. F...A... Wasted my time instead of doing his job.
Guess next time I'll be reading his documents at as good as he does.
Remember that company that first brought me to devRant last 2018? The one I ranted about almost every day like it's the only reason I exist? They lost their client, it's the only project they have, and it's a pretty big one based in the US. Now they're in big trouble and the enemies they made from being a big bundle of cunts launched their own start-up.
A few days ago, a previous colleague texted me asking if we have available positions in the company I'm currently working for. He said "the client suddenly vanished". I asked, "What do you mean? They just vanished? Aren't there other projects?" Of course, he didn't answer and instead asked where I'm working now.
The last time I talked to him in person, he was saying that they will be sent abroad for that project and that the company has new projects lined up. I rolled my eyes internally but just said, "Okay". That was when I visited the office for the last time to get my clearance which I didn't get and didn't bother getting anymore otherwise I'll be in jail for arson because god damn it, those motherfuckers really make my blood boil. During that time, more than half of their employees were gone but they were so brainwashed, they still believed it had a future.
The first thing I did was open LinkedIn and add the two developers still in that hellhole. I trained some people there and those two had the least ego and had the best performance - resourceful and not as lifeless as a fucking placenta coming out of their mothers' vaginas. Now that I think about it, placentas have more nutrients and use than the vacuum-headed cunts left in that company.
In less than five minutes, they accepted, that's how you know the situation really is dire in there. I'm friends with one of the project managers (who hate the PM from the other company) so I offered to refer them and they went with it. The situation is interesting because PM1 (friend) before she became a project manager actually planned to move to the hellhole company with me, this was years before we knew it was hell where she was insulted by PM2 (PM of the hellhole) and some bitch cunts were very rude to her during the interview. Now those same cunts can't find a job and the roles were reversed. If they dare to apply for PM1's company, I'm gonna need all the popcorn in the world.
Why can't they find a job? A combination of two traits - incompetence and arrogance. Actually, it's more than that. They bully almost every employee that joins the company. Their motto is "We don't need experienced hires" and they treat the experienced ones like shit so 90% of the employees are junior developers egos bigger than Mandingo's cock. It matters more that you can drink and gossip with them than you can do your job. People working overtime all the time are praised instead of looked into because they're inefficient. People who leave on time are judged. People's social media profiles are stalked and gossiped about. Even the company owner and manager participates in personal attacks towards their own employees and humiliating somebody (inviting audiences) while they make someone cry is their sick display of authority and fun.
System admins don't know how to fucking chmod or even grep. I had several months where my job was to sit there and answer questions 'cause I can't do a fucking thing without being distracted. Then word would spread that I'm doing nothing. One time, I was working on a critical issue and this guy asked if I could help him. I said I can't right now. He said he will tell the client that he can't finish the task because I'm not very helpful. I said, "Go ahead, the only thing that would reflect is your lack of skill." Shit like that and frequent attacks had me drinking coke and vodka in the office. Eventually, I got depressed and the HR didn't leave me alone. They kept pressuring me to present a medical certificate on when I can come back. My psychiatrist refused because "depression doesn't work like that". I found out after I submitted my resignation that they planned to give me an ultimatum that if I can't provide a certificate within 30 days, they will fire me. Oh well, thank you.
It was fucking North Korea, I said it before and I'll say it now. They have no clue what's really outside their own bubble. They stayed in that shit hole thinking they're a bunch of Steve Jobs or that they own the world because their peers (who are retarded themselves) praise them. I looked forward to this day and it finally happened. They are forced to go outside and now they can all see what they're really worth - nothing.
Good luck finding a job, you fuckers. This year's gonna be great. Ah, the sweet smell of other people's misery in the evening. :)8
How the fuck am I expected to salvage a fucking project that has been handed down to me with.
- No fucking clear architecture
- No fucking documentation
- Fucking shitty ass code base with no fucking coding standards
- The previous team was fucking learning a whole fucking new technology stack *Not fucking kidding* making fucking mistakes left and right
- No code reviews
- Mixing fucking local and cloud enviroment together
- No fucking testing
- Feature that were supposed to be implemented and are not working
- No configuration all the stuff are hard coded
- Full responsiblity for the whole stack
- Only one other guy with me
- And this fucking project has been delayed for a year
- MUCH FUCKING MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM
Like what the fuck am I expected to do? I took the job thinking that people knew what the fuck they were doing and surprise surprise that was a fucking bust.
the problem is also I am the junior and these fucking people have more experience than me, what the fuck happened to over seeing people's work, PM doesnt give a shit, developers dont give a shit nobody gives a shit.
But when I got this surprise surprise now everyone is interested in finishing the project
I did a 3 years study in computer science.
I got an intern that is on her last year of a 5 years study in computer science too.
So we have the same age, just that I have more practical experiences than her and she have more theoretical baggage than me.
We are discussing on the design of what she will do over her internship and while I'm talking about some JSON modelling she interrupt me to say something like "so this tuple is meaning..." talking about a JSON object. I didn't get what she was talking about (I never did python and didn't learn much about mathematical theorems during my study) so I asked her: "What is a tuple?".. She looked at me with dead eyes saying "what!? you don't know this ?!!" Like I was the dumbest man on earth. Fortunately our PM which is also a coding guy was sitting next to us and explained to me that by saying "tuple" she meant a "JSON object" and to her that it IS normal if I do not know what a tuple is, first because of my studies, 2nd because my job is to be an Android Dev and that I do not need to know this to do my job. He added that by the way I'm doing well my job and that if I wasn't there to help her on her code she would never succeed her internship.
I'm glad my PM intervene but fuck those who always think they know everything better than others without questioning themselves before !13
Past 3 years I've been working 1pm-9pm instead of usual 8am-4pm at our company, no issues, I'm the only developer on the projects I work on, tasks delivered always on time, meetings with PM always afternoon, etc.
Few months ago company hierarchy changed and the new operative manager started to harass me about this with made up reasons (not working 8 hour or not working at all) and he doesn't care about the fact that my projects might be the only ones at the company that never missed a deadline. He even turned some of my colleagues against me.
So now I'm thinking about to quit this job and go freelance or find a remote job. Am I doing it right?7
Got this from boss (a few colleagues got it as well):
Sites have been down over the weekend and seems the only person cares is PM! There is a condition about working when required (i.e. unpaid OT) on your contract! It is essential that sites are properly managed even at weekends - we run a online business! If anyone has problems we'll discuss next week
*Note: site was partially down and there was no major impact on the business
When I explained why we need to rebuild the sites, you said not now - almost 2 years now, still nothing happens.
When I asked if we can get managed hosting or load balancer, fecking NO again
After asking for my opinion on the sites, you & the puppet think my honesty is me being negative and incorporate, and exclude me from meetings and major part of my work
Go fuck yourself! I've warned you about the status of the sites and you did not want to listen SO DON'T TELL ME I'M NOT DOING MY JOB WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE STOPPING ME FROM DOING IT PROPERLY!
I'm sure we'll have our meeting very soon, cheapskate.10
Me: 'im doing frontend here, i wont bother with the server stuff'
Me: 'here i finished the full stack because the backend team is a bunch of jackasses'
Pm: 'did you set up the server?'
Me: 'no because its not my job'
Pm: 'you have to do it'
Sometimes it makes me wonder if he even knows how programming works.15
As a senior developer, I introduced a bug in the hiring system at the company I worked at and it took HR nearly 2 years to fix it.
Bug: Every candidate I interview on Wednesday between 12:30 PM and 4:15 PM gets selected irrespective of performance.
Impact: 270 candidates got a job
1st Fix [1.5 years in]: Add multiple developers to conduct a single interview (still did not fix it completely after all I was a senior developer)
2nd Fix [2 years in]: Removed me from the hiring committee
3rd Fix [though was not needed but for HR's extra safety]: Started recording all interviews
It was a good time.4
PM: We have to do this this and this. How long will it take you?
Me: Looks like a 4 hr job
Me: Still not complete after 2 days
Me every time :D3
So, my last rant here was 3 years ago, and i just signed in again to devrant to post this fucking shit.
There is this guy who is a Project Manager in my office, I haven´t work with him but he sits in front of me and i have to listen to his bullshit almost every fucking day. Anyways, the other day he was talking to some other guy (a PM, also) and he said something like this:
"Programming is the most overrated thing ever, everyone can do it, you could do it, i could do it just googling stuff, i could even replace almost every programmer in this office, it´s the easiest thing ever. a programmer couldn´t do my job even if his life depended on it ´cause they can´t talk, they can´t manage people, they can´t manage their own time, heck they can´t even manage to talk to each other. they´re just a bunch of incels who think they´re important and their job is shit anyway".
They don´t see us as human begins, they see us as necessary evil.
(apologize if i wrote something wrong. English is not my first language)10
Finally after one year I understood how to carry out my job. I should do exactly NOTHING. I stopped completely organizing the team, solving bugs, helping the team developing and solving problems, explore and try stupid things said by CEO, PM and consultants.
I stopped for 2 months now and nothing happened.
I work remotely, nobody knows if I'm working or not, because nobody cares really about priorities, bugs, customers or products development.
I gain 10K$ (ten thousand) per month.
I attend skype meeting once per week or less. I say yes to everything, nobody gives a shit to what I say, even if they consider me the technical director. Actually in the meetings I only take care of being considered the technical director.
I achieved the mythical 4 hours working week.
I keep skype open in all my devices in order to answer promptly in case of problem, wherever I'm am, that's the most important thing right now.
I attended some meeting from the toilet or from the bedroom.
It was hard. To understand that the board is only after the next funding and not looking to develop a real product. It's hard to pretend helping people while thinking inside you "fuck you".
You have to let go the "guilt": if you can't login, I KNOW that is my fault, that there is a bug, that is possible to solve it, that resources and planning are needed etc. That's guilt. Just let go and say "next release" and never include it in the next release.
In this way I discovered that some users are paying the application even if they can't login.
The company is not going to disappear in the next 5 years. On the contrary, it's going to receive more money.
So the only "bad" thing is, what will I write in my CV in 5 years?20
I think I want to quit my first applicantion developer job 6 months in because of just how bad the code and deployment and.. Just everything, is.
I'm a C#/.net developer. Currently I'm working on some asp.net and sql stuff for this company.
We have no code standards. Our project manager is somewhere between useless and determinental. Our clients are unreasonable (its the government, so im a bit stifled on what I can say.) and expect absurd things from us. We have 0 automated tests and before I arrived all our infrastructure wasn't correct to our documentation... And we barely had any documentation to begin with.
The code is another horror story. It's out sourced C# asp.net, js and SQL code.. And to very bad programmers in India, no offense to the good ones, I know you exist. Its all spagheti. And half of it isn't spelled correctly.
It's... God awful. The result of a billion and one quick fixes that nobody documented. The configuration alone has to have the same value put multiple times. And now our senior developer is getting the outsourced department to work on moving every SINGLE NORMAL STRING INTO THE DATABASE. That's right. Rather then putting them into some local resource file or anything sane, our website will now be drawing every single standard string from the database. Our SENIOR DEVELOPER thinks this is a good idea. I don't need to go into detail about how slow this is. Want to do it on boot? Fine. But they do it every time the page loads. It's absurd.
Our sql database design is an absolute atrocity. You have to join several tables together just to get anything done. Half of our SP's are failing all the time because nobody really understands the design. Its gloriously awful its like.. The epitome of failed database designs.
But rather then taking a step back and dealing with all the issues, we keep adding new features and other ones get left in the dust. Hell, we don't even have complete browser support yet. There were things on the website that were still running SILVERLIGHT. In 2019. I don't even know how to feel about it.
I brought up our insane technical debt to our PM who told me that we don't have time to worry about things like technical debt. They also wouldn't spend the time to teach me anything, saying they would rather outsource everything then take the time to teach me. So i did. I learned a huge chunk of it myself.
But calling this a developer job was a sick, twisted joke. All our lives revolve around bugnet. Our work is our BN's. So every issue the client emails about becomes BN's. I haven't developed anything. All I've done is clean up others mess.
Except for the one time they did have me develop something. And I did it right and took my time. And then they told me it took too long, forced me to release before it was ready, even though I had never worked on what I was doing before. And it worked. I did it.
They then told me it likely wouldn't even be used anyway. I wasn't very happy at all.
I then discovered quickly the horrors of wanting to make changes on production. In order to make changes to it, we have to... Get this
Write a huge document explaining why. Not to our management. To the customer. The customer wants us to 'request' to fix our application.
I feel like I am literally against a wall. A huge massive wall. I can't get constent from my PM to fix the shitty code they have as a result of outsourcing. I can't make changes without the customer asking why I would work on something that doesn't add something new for them. And I can't ask for any sort of help, and half of the people I have to ask help from don't even speak english very well so it makes it double hard to understand anything.
But what can I do? If I leave my job it leaves a lasting stain on my record that I am unsure if I can shake off.
... Well, thats my tl;dr rant. Im a junior, so maybe idk what the hell im talking about.16
We were 6 devs on a big project that needed to be completed in 3 months. Probably my first project as a full-stack dev and the work was very demanding.
The senior of my team was a very sharp and energetic, but also a very "in your face" kinda guy. Like, he was cool, but sometimes a little too much to handle for some people.
Anyway, this guy "Senior dev" worked faster (naturally) and harder than the rest of us and was always willing to help if somebody had problems with a framework, tool or other technology. Also, there was this other guy also a good dev (second best I would say) that just hated the first guy's guts for being "rude and obnoxious" as he put it.
One day, the PM and the senior had an argument about a major change that the PM had agreed to (just to save face with the client) that will force the team to come to work on the weekend. In the end he saved us the trouble of going throught that and the PM had to tell the client that the change wouldn't be made. From then on it went downhill for "Sr. dev" in the company. Until one day he was told that his contract was not gonna be renewed.
Short after, he showed some of us a screen cap. somebody sent him of an email from the "hateful" dev to the PM in which he wrote he had heard that the senior guy was leaving and he couldn't be happier because he was "damaging, problematic and a stressful part of his job". That was such a dick move, we thought he should get back at the guy.
So he sent a fake email to the PM using the "hateful" guy's email ID, that read:
"Dear PM. I'm sorry I said those things about 'Senior dev', I guess I'm just mad that he's a better professional than me and mad that I was born with no genitalia".
After the senior dev left I worked on one more project with the "hateful" dev and he was let go mid project for "not being proactive and making little effort on completing the project".
Worst exp. on a collab/group project?
Had a few, here is one.
Worked with a dev team (of two devs) in Norway to begin collaboration on providing a portal into our system (placing orders, retrieving customer info, inventory control, etc)
They spoke very good English, but motivation was the problem. Start the day around 10:00AM...take a two hour lunch...ended the day at, if I was lucky, 4:00PM (relative to Norway time). Response time to questions took days, sometimes weeks. We used Skype, which helped, but everything was "Yea...I'll do that tomorrow...waiting on X....I have a wedding to go to, so I'll finish my part next week."
I didn't care so much, I had other projects to do, but the stakeholders pounded me almost everyday demanding a progress report (why aren't you done yet...etc..etc.)
The badgering got so bad I told the project owner (a VP) if he wanted this project done by the end of the year, the company would have to fly me to Norway so I personally push things along.
When real money was on the line, he decided patience was warranted.
A 3 month project turned into 9, and during a phone meeting with the CEO in December
O: "Thanks guys, this project is going great. We'll talk again in February. Bye."
PM: "Whoa...what! February!"
O: "Um..yes? It's Christmas time. Don't you Americans take off for Christmas?"
PM: "Yes, but not until Christmas. Its only December 12th. Your taking the whole month of December and January for Christmas?"
O:"Yes, of course. You Americans work too hard. You should come over here and see how we celebrate. Takes about a month so we can ease back into the flow of things."
<Jack is the VP>
PM: "Jack wanted this project completed by the end of the year, that is what everyone agreed to."
O:"Yes, I suppose, but my plane is waiting on me. Not to worry, everything will be fine."
<ceo hangs up>
PM: "Oh shit..oh shit..oh shit. What are you going to do!?"
Me: "Me!?..not a darn thing. Better go talk with Jeff."
<Jeff is the VP>
J: "This is unacceptable. You promised this project would only take a few months. I told you there would be consequences for not meeting the deadline."
PM:"But..but...its not our fault."
J: "I don't care about fault. I care about responsibility. I've never had to fire anyone for not meeting a deadline, but .."
Me: "Jeff, they are in Norway and no one is working this project for the next two months. You've known for months about them dragging their asses on this project. We're ready to go. Services have been tested and deployed. Accounting has all the payment routing ready. Only piece missing is theirs."
J: "Oh. OK. Great job guys. I guess we'll delay this project until February."
<leave the office>
PM: "Holy shit I'm glad you were there. I thought I was fired."
Me: "Yea, and that prick would have done it not giving a crap that it's Christmas."
<fast forward to Feb>
O: "Our service provider fell through, so I'm hosting with another company. You guys know PHP? Perl? I don't know what they called it, but it sounded so cool I bought the company."
PM: "You bought what? Are we still working with Z and B?"
O:"Yea, sort of. How's your German? New guy only speaks German."
PM: "Um, uh... no one here speaks German"
O:"Not to worry, I speak German, French, and Italian. I'll be your translator."
PM: "What? French and Italian?"
O: "On my trip to France I connected with a importer who then got me in touch with international shipper in Italy. I flew over there and met a couple really smart guys than can help us out. My new guy only speaks German, J only speaks French, and R speaks Italian, Russian, and a little English. Not to worry, I'm full time on this project. You have my full attention."
We believe the CEO has/had some serious mental issues, including some ADD. He bailed within the first month (took another vacation to Sweden to do some fishing) and left me using Google Translate to coordinate the project. Luckily, by the end, the Norwegian company hired a contractor from England who spoke German and hobbled together the final integration.3
So, today's comedy job story (and how depressive things become), and it's only 9:30.
Stressed PM assaults me at 8 to tell me what I have to do, standing next to me and dictacting stuff she wants done. Hate that.
As I went to a colleague to help her out with these fucking presentations (she "couldn't open them"), as I just arrived to her office my phone rings.
It's my PM. I'm 20m away, she calls me. Ok.
PM: "Hey Phlisg, erm, we are stuck in a conference room, can you come and open the door?"
Me: "Erm, the door has no handle, can't help"
PM: "Can you call the "housekeeper"?"
Me: "Sure" (why the hell doesn't she have his number...)
I go downstairs, go towards the conference room, and before the door there is the reception office. I ask the colleagues in there if the "housekeeper" is here, but they instead produced the handle from their drawers, and went to the door to open it.
At the same time, a person locked inside the conference room went through the window to go round and try to open the door.
Door successfully opened by colleague with handle.
You have a problem? One reflex: call Phlisg. She might call me at 2 am in the morning because she cannot sleep or something.
I am Front End dev at a medium size company and I had to teach my PM how to create use case diagrams... Things are getting better and better at this dream job.
As a developer, I constantly feel like I'm lagging behind.
Long rant incoming.
Whenever I join a new company or team, I always feel like I'm the worst developer there. No matter how much studying I do, it never seems to be enough.
Feeling inadequate is nothing new for me, I've been struggling with a severe inferiority complex for most of my life. But starting a career as a developer launched that shit into overdrive.
About 10 years ago, I started my college education as a developer. At first things were fine, I felt equal to my peers. It lasted about a day or two, until I saw a guy working on a website in notepad. Nothing too special of course, but back then as a guy whose scripting experience did not go much farther than modifying some .ini files, it blew my mind. It went downhill from there.
What followed were several stressful, yet strangely enjoyable, years in college where I constantly felt like I was lagging behind, even though my grades were acceptable. On top of college stress, I had a number of setbacks, including the fallout of divorcing parents, childhood pets, family and friends dying, little to no money coming in and my mother being in a coma for a few weeks. She's fine now, thankfully.
Through hard work, a bit of luck, and a girlfriend who helped me to study, I managed to graduate college in 2012 and found a starter job as an Asp.Net developer.
My knowledge on the topic was limited, but it was a good learning experience, I had a good mentor and some great colleagues. To teach myself, I launched a programming tutorial channel. All in all, life was good. I had a steady income, a relationship that was already going for a few years, some good friends and I was learning a lot.
Then, 3 months in, I got diagnosed with cancer.
This ruined pretty much everything I had built up so far. I spend the next 6 months in a hospital, going through very rough chemo.
When I got back to working again, my previous Asp.Net position had been (understandably) given to another colleague. While I was grateful to the company that I could come back after such a long absence, the only position available was that of a junior database manager. Not something I studied for and not something I wanted to do each day neither.
Because I was grateful for the company's support, I kept working there for another 12 - 18 months. It didn't go well. The number of times I was able to do C# jobs can be counted on both hands, while new hires got the assignments, I regularly begged my PM for.
On top of that, the stress and anxiety that going through cancer brings comes AFTER the treatment. During the treatment, the only important things were surviving and spending my potentially last days as best as I could. Those months working was spent mostly living in fear and having to come to terms with the fact that my own body tried to kill me. It caused me severe anger issues which in time cost me my relationship and some friendships.
Keeping up to date was hard in these times. I was not honing my developer skills and studying was not something I'd regularly do. 'Why spend all this time working if tomorrow the cancer might come back?'
After much soul-searching, I quit that job and pursued a career in consultancy. At first things went well. There was not a lot to do so I could do a lot of self-study. A month went by like that. Then another. Then about 4 months into the new job, still no work was there to be done. My motivation quickly dwindled.
To recuperate the costs, the company had me do shit jobs which had little to nothing to do with coding like creating labels or writing blogs. Zero coding experience required. Although I was getting a lot of self-study done, my amount of field experience remained pretty much zip.
My prayers asking for work must have been heard because suddenly the sales department started finding clients for me. Unfortunately, as salespeople do, they looked only at my theoretical years of experience, most of which were spent in a hospital or not doing .Net related tasks.
Ka-ching. Here's a developer with four years of experience. Have fun.
Those jobs never went well. My lack of experience was always an issue, no matter how many times I told the salespeople not to exaggerate my experience. In the end, I ended up resigning there too.
After all the issues a consultancy job brings, I went out to find a job I actually wanted to do. I found a .Net job in an area little traffic. I even warned them during my intake that my experience was limited, and I did my very best every day that I worked here.
It didn't help. I still feel like the worst developer on the team, even superseded by someone who took photography in college. Now on Monday, they want me to come in earlier for a talk.
Should I just quit being a developer? I really want to make this work, but it seems like every turn I take, every choice I make, stuff just won't improve. Any suggestions on how I can get out of this psychological hell?6
First day back. I am a junior Dev a year and a half of work.
I get in after Christmas break and find people standing around my desk turns out all senior staff (except CEO and PM who are both non-technical ) are away and an email. Basically saying it's up to me for the next week to manage people.
FU&£&# what the heck I don't have a clue what I am doing and I can't mange if I could I would be a manager pays better. So I designate to people took me an hour to figure out what people can actually get on with. Then PM wants a break down of the plan. Then meeting with CEO over the importance of these projects and told 'politely' shortest deadline to date most work, get it done the company depends on these projects if you don't well it would be the end of you.
Get back to my desk people need work I should be getting on with to do theirs but I have been busy in silly meetings and litrually every 5 mins get nagged 'have I done it yet'. But as I am about done they discover what they should have been working on is doable without my work. I don't shake but at one point today I was shaking so much with nerves I couldn't type. Had a very short lunch and stayed on late sorting people problems out. (Thankfully the even more junior people are nice and 1 did help me at one point today I'm so great full for the help)
I'm a junior no training in the technologies I work with not even before starting the job. £3 million+ worth of projects and possible future client resting on my shoulders... (Thankfully the real project lead and senior members are back next week although won't be long left till deadline) Wtf ...
Anyone got a job going I want out!5
Anybody's a father here? My 10 months kid is giving me hard times waking at 2am and not going to sleep till 4am (it is 4 now, here). That's a really repeating problem. I'm loosing my focus at work, tired after few hours of coding, couldnt mange to learn after hours. Makes me frustrated. My PM understands situation (actually he have 5 kids!), tries to help. But can't figure it out how to overcome this. Any ideas fellow dads in code? To make it clear - I really love my son, but if I'll fail to keep my level at job I could loose it one day, don't feel like beeing able to find new decent job with current exhaust level. Also I'm the only one who makes money in our lil family, loosing job for too long means loosing the roof under the head for all three of us. My wife is barely living after beeing there for son whole day, so please dont point at her. Our kid is really demanding on attention and love, and thats like a sweet poison. Love kills.23
TLDR; Go to bottom of post.
Around this time two years ago was the start of my group project in University. The project was to write an app in android and have a web side to it too. The group was to be overseen by a member of staff. The first meeting was introductions and to look at the spec, during the second we were to decide a group leader (PM) and other positions.
A person I shall call BD and I volunteered for PM. I didn't have experience with leadership but wanted some, and was the only one with confidence in android, the biggest part of the system. I got four of the votes.
BD, with his scouts experience, not being afraid to breathe down people's necks and bash some heads together, and having been PM last year, with his group receiving 69% (he failed the year and was resitting), earned 5. One guy was missing.
When it came to sorting out roles and responsibilities, BD confessed to not being a strong coder but that he'd help here and there. His role was planning our deadlines, doing our Gantt chart for deliverables, and was supposed to write a really detailed spec. He didn't have it at the meeting of the next week, as it was still in the works, and never messaged anyone. Next week he turned up with a Gantt chart of 1A4 page that only included the deadlines and deliverables in the spec, with three colours. One for android team, one for DB guy, and one for web team.
The guy who didn't turn up for voting got a girlfriend, a job at mcdonalds and did barely a thing. One guy in the web team did everything, carrying his friend who wouldn't do work (and also got swept out to see in a rubber boat with one of his bros lol (he was rescued)), and even though I'd done android dev I wasn't as quick a learner as two others in the team. Out of 10 people, 6 did real work.
The web guys stopped coming to meetings as they were taken over by android talk, and as we were quite behind, BG tried yellow carding them. They turned around with the website pretty much done, this one guy doing more than the 4 of us on android had. Yellow card lifted. We'd already complained about BD and his lack of everything (except screen brightness as he sat at the front of the lecture theatres with his wide brimmed hat looking at 9gag and videos (remembering he said he was resitting that year)) but grew a stronger dislike. Found out that he spent most of his time with his gf at our secretary/fellow android dev's house. Come coding week, he disappears entirely, only to attend meetings. He gave us a shell of the android code used for his previous year's project (along with documentation, complete with names and dates of updates, most of them (including the planning ones BD was supposed to do) bearing either one of two names. It was behind where we were at the time and had a lot of differences to our spec, and if we had used it BD may have used that to pull us down with him if things went wrong. He resurfaced at the end with the final documentation of how we'd all done, including reports on how each member had performed, which we were supposed to have reviewed. Our main, most proficient dev he accused of being irritable and brash, and a bad communicator. He was Norwegian, his voice was just a bit gruff, and he was driven and didn't waste time. He bashed the web team for not turning up, and had already been rude and unhelpful to everyone who voted for him in the first place.
In our own reports we all devoted paragraphs to delicately describing his contributions, excluding his suggestion that we use the code he gave us. Before we had our results and our work was completed, he individually kicked us from our group's facebook group and unfriended us.
Our 43% mark at the end, coupled with his -40% penalty from the red card we had him on, felt good, but not as good as a better result would have, especially as the fool that was BD would be inflicted on a group a third time. He changed to some other course after that year finished, so he must have failed his resit of second year.
During third year, a friend of mine who was PM for a group that passed well passed other things with too slim a margin to be happy, so chose to resit the year. He didn't have to do the group project again, and had that time free. But BD had to resit. His group had 69%. A yellow card with a 20% deduction wouldn't do it, so he MUST have had a red card as PM his previous year. Well that didn't come up when he claimed credit for his team's 69% during elections... My housemate's compsci boyfriend 2 years up overheard me talking about him, he was in 1st year with BD. BD failed and resat 1st year too. 4 years and he couldn't make anything stick. I feel bad for him through understanding the pains lack of work and internet distraction bring, and unfortunately I can't wish bad things on him because he brings them on himself. I wish I never see his face again though.
TLDR; Guy in group project lies and is dishonest from start to finish, getting PM pos by 1 vote. Gets what he earns.2
Most ignorant ask from a PM or client?
Migrated to SharePoint 2016 which included Reporting Services, and trying to fix a bug in the reporting services scheduler, I created a report (aka, copied an existing one) 'A Klingon Walks Into a Bar', so it would first in the list and distinct enough so the QA testers would (hopefully) leave it alone.
The PM for the project calls me.
PM: "What is this Klingon report? It looks like a copy of the daily inventory report"
Me: "It is. The reporting service job keeps crashing on certain reports that have daily execution schedules."
PM: "I need you to delete it"
Me: "What? Why? The report is on the dev sharepoint site. I named the report so it was unique and be at the top of the list so I can find it easily."
PM: "The name doesn't conform to our standards and it's confusing the testers."
Me: "The testers? You mean Dan, you, and Heather?"
PM: "Yes, smartass. Can you name the report something like daily inventory report 2, or something else?"
Me: "I could, but since this is in development, no. You've already proofed out the upgrade. You're waiting on me to fix this sharepoint bug. Why do you care what I do on this server? It's going away after the upgrade."
PM: "Yea, about that. We like having the server. It gives us a place to test reports. Would really appreciate it if you would rename or delete that report."
Me: "A test sharepoint reporting services server out of scope, so no, we're not keeping it."
PM: "Having a server just for us would be nice."
Me: "$10,000 nice? We're kinda fudging on the licensing now. If we're keeping it, we will be required to be in compliance. That's a server license, sharepoint license, sql server license, and the dedicated hardware. We talked about that, remember?"
PM: "Why is keeping that report so important to you? I don't want to explain to a VP what a Klingon is."
Me: "I'm not keeping the report or moving it to production. When I figure out the problem, I'll delete the report. OK?"
PM: "I would prefer you delete the report before a VP sees it."
Me: "Why would a VP be looking? They probably have better things to do."
PM: "Jeff wants to see our progress, I'll have to him the site, and he'll see the report."
Me: "OK? You tell Jeff it's a report I'm working on, I'll explain what a Klingon is, Jeff will call me a nerd, and we all move on."
PM: "I'm not comfortable with this upgrade."
Me: "What does that mean?"
PM: "I asked for something simple and I can't be responsible for the consequences. I'll be documenting this situation as a 'no-go' for deployment"
I figured out the bug, deleted the 'Klingon' report, and the PM couldn't do anything to delay the deployment.4
I've just finished my last day at work... I'm switching from being a 100% PM (almost 3 years) to being a 100% backend machine!
God, how I hated that job...8
I work for a web agency.
Over the last 18 months a company asked us about 5 different quotes for rather minimal changes to their website.
While being minimal changes, estimating costs for them still requires several hours of work for research, meetings, correspondance and writing the damn things. They never even gave us a response (neither positive nor negative), except once where they told us that they wouldn't pay for project management because their instructions are so clear that PM isn't necessary.
As a response to the last one, after several months, they send us a 10 pages long pdf with requirements for a new website (or a "restyle" like they call it, even if it has absolutely nothing in common with the current one).
We inform them that we can't permit ourselves to continue studying new solutions for free and therefore tell them that a detailed offer would cost them something like 300$, and that amount would then be discounted from the eventually accepted job. We also roughly estimate a price range of about 15k - 20k for the new website.
We get an email back, from the CEO (until now it was a secretary), with essentially 3 arguments written in condescending form:
1. he brags about his revenue being over 9 billion $$$ a year, and that being a part of a global holding for which "communication is essential" (sic.) means that they need to coordinate and "can't simply accept an offer" [even if it's 400$, for specific change exactly requested by them, I guess...]
2. 15k is too much [... for the website representing this 9 billion dollar holding on the internet, for which the requirements are written in the 10 pages long pdf]
3. He asks for a meeting
We accept the meeting, we go to their office.
When we arrive there, the secretary informs us that the CEO will not participate. So we talk the her and the head of the "Communication Dept" in videoconference.
I explain them that if the sum, which we thought would be appropriate (~15 - 20k), is too high, the Pareto principle would allow us to, theoretically, achieve about 80% of the features and quality for about 20% of the cost. Their genuine response is:
"So your estimate was wrong! You can do it for much less!".
I try to explain them that the most money in a project goes into "attention to detail".
The "Communication Dept." person, who is "doing this job since too much time" (sic.), refuses to believe and insists that "details" don't exist on the web.
I tell her: "In any kind of work, the more effort you put into something, the better it tends to get, with diminishing returns".
She insists: "I don't understand this".
So now I'm here, doing the 6th offer, free of charge, for a 5k website, for a company that generates 9kkk revenue each year, trying to define a "Definition of Done" that works out.
FML I guess.
Sorry for the long post.7
I work for a bank and every production release date it's a chaos... Like, for real, devs running to get their stories approved by the testing team and last minute scope changes that, if not made, would make the whole app fail (real shitty management as you can see).
Longstoryshort, a dev didn't finished one of his stories and create 7 major bugs with another... Today that was my breakfast, took me 4 hours and get it all done and approved... We didn't make the release tho, but I scored some major points with this.
Funny thing, tomorrow I'm telling my PM I'll leave the company for a better job, so that will be their breakfast.6
PM: "Please try to prioritize this request that we made last Friday at 5pm over all your other high priority stuff we know you're busy and we should have requested this 3 months ago... but now we need to deliver next week and well we need it"
5 minutes later "When can you deliver that?"
Another 5 minutes later "Sorry can you give me that delivery date? We REALLY need it"
Well maybe if you leave me in peace and I can concentrate on my job rather than answering silly requests I can make up an idea of how much time I need to deliver... but of course I'm just a code monkey, I press some randome keys and the magic happens.
I'll probably accept a job offer as PM - the first one that understands Devs :)
You can start throwing stones at me now.7
Project Manager and I went to a meeting with the client, and a talk started about one task which was estimated to 20, but took us 40 hours to be finished.
The client asked me:
''How is it possible that it took you double of the estimated time?''
and the PM turned his head to my direction and said:
''Really, how did it take you so long?''
ISN'T IT YOUR FUCKING JOB TO ANSWER THOSE KIND OF QUESTIONS2
Got into a fight with a teammate last week (acting PM, she was) over how she basically failed to do her job.
Got blamed for talking about it by project owner. (basically, they wanted to make themselves feel good by passing down the blame down the blame chain... But I rebelled)
... Don't want to walk into the same meeting tomorrow. 😢😔😞9
tl;dr - why you no read this?
Here I am pondering why I continue to return to my job everyday when we are currently at month 13 of a 4 month project... yea let that set in for a minute... which is still at least 3-4 months away from being deployed due to annual leave of key stake holders and the whole Christmas period creeping up and things just not going as planned every step of the way.
There's no greater demotivater - is that even how you spell it - then being stuck in a project for so long you really just don't give a shit if it works or not anymore.
This has gone from a simple - relatively speaking - project to some monolithic mayhem of requirement changes and process adjustments, that have not only delayed our team, but 3rd party vendors needing to change things as well, or the requirements being wrong early so when you get up to business testing it's like "nope, that's not what we wanted" .... despite all the sessions of you personally giving the PM all the damn requirements.
But in saying that, they (3rd party) aren't innocent either, we have found nothing but issue after issue with their product since we started this project that who ever signed off on going forward with the thing should have been shot from both sides - it's not designed for the scale we will be using it yet we didn't find that out till we got so far into the rabbit hole we had a chance to be able to do load testing.
Meh, guess I'll go to work Monday and spend another week in misery trying to deliver something that just doesn't want to know what the finish line is.4
I once had a PM who would consistently ask us to fix one off "bugs" (read little design tweaks). He wouldn't even bother to write them down anywhere. He once came over and asked why we hadn't fixed one of his bugs. We had no idea what he was talking about. According to him, we were supposed to organize and prioritize according to his whim. He never logged into our task management system.
When it finally came time to sell off our work to some of the business owners, we showed some of the "bug fixes" we did because that's all we ever heard we were supposed to do. The business owners were mad that we hadn't done anything they had asked us to do. PM throws us under the bus saying that we didn't know how to do our jobs and that we never listened to him. I was so glad when he moved to be lead of the QA department. Then I wasn't so glad.
He would have bug quotas that his team would have to meet. He pitted the entire QA team against all of the devs saying things like, "All the devs suck at coding. It's our job to save the company and the world from their buggy software." He got the only good QA guy fired because he faked a bunch of documents stating that they had had performance reviews and no improvement was made (these meeting never actually took place), and that he hadn't been meeting his big quotas. He was outside of our department and was buddy buddy with one of the C-levels, so his word trumped ours.
Then one glorious day, after I had already left the company, his department was absolved into the technology group. That same day was the day he was fired.
I kind of pity him. I didn't know if he had a family, but how can a man such as that support his family? Perhaps he doesn't have a good relationship with his wife and that's why he sucked at his job?1
It's 11 pm. I'm almost drunk and I have realized I have spent too much of my life learning. I have spent too much time working. I may only be 25 but I still am dedicating up to 100+ hours a week to my job and it needs to stop. It has only left me sad alone and drunk. I hope others on here try to have some social life because sitting here drunk and lonely sucks. Maybe I shouldn't be so picky. Who knows. Enjoy life when you can.10
Had an issue running through someone else's buggy code and my PM told me to "use a goto to fix it up, those always used to help me in school". Can a recruiter on here throw me a bone and get me out of this place?
The company hired a Senior Project Manager (SPM) and two months in we had the following conversation:
SPM: Hey, go talk to the project stakeholders and get the requirements for the project.
Me: Uhm, isn't the PM supposed to go and gather the requirements?
SPM: I'll go check with the stakeholders. We don't have a PM :)
Me: You are the SPM... Which is the same thing?
SPM: hmmm... I'll go ask them and get back to you.
GFG, you've been here for two months, are supposed to be a senior with many years under your belt as a PM and yet know nothing about your job. You don't even know that you're a PM.
My first project it’s an emotional roller coaster. I was a little trainee/ junior dev at my job with a little more than a month learning RoR and one day my tech lead receives an email from the big boss saying: “We got a big client who wants a total redesign of his web and we said yes we can do it in a month, so please check if anything it’s reusable”, after reading my tech lead said to me “Do you want to help me with this ?” And well, we spend like 2-3 hours checking all the controllers, views, assets, etc. We conclude that the project was mostly front end changes and the back end will stay the same, so yeah it can be done in a month. The next day in a meeting with all the team I was nominee to be the person in charge of that project, because it was an easy project and all my teammates hate to do front end stuff, so I take the challenge. After that I met the Project Manager, another guy who recently start as PM about a month, so yeah we were two new guys who need to handle the project of a big client, nothing can go wrong. We did the planing, I give an estimation ( first one in my life ) for the tasks and added like 4 hours in case anything goes wrong. Then the first sprint came by, and I couldn’t finish it because the time given to some features was to low and the “design” was a mockup made by the PM, ok, no problems, we add more time to the tasks and we ask for a real design. At the half of the sprint the client start adding more and more stuff, the PM doesn’t talk back, just say yes yes yes. Then in a blink of an eye the easy project became a three months projects with no design at all, two devs ( a new guy who recently begin as dev enter the project ), just mockups and good hopes. But somehow we did it, we finish it! Nope. The early Monday of the next week I received an email of the PM saying we would have a second version and the estimation of the tech lead was a minimum of six months ( that became 8 months). This time was hell, because the client doesn’t decide what the hell he wants so a task would take a couple of days more or so, the PM became the personal bitch of the client, but it wasn’t his fault, because we later knew that the company became partner with this client and because of that the PM didn’t have too much choice :/, the designs were cool, but they weren’t on time ever, our only design guy had to do designs to our project and another 5 projects of the company, so yeah, we weren’t the only ones suffering. At the end we survive, the project was done and the client somehow was happy. Of course the project didn’t end and it was terminated half a year later, but I’ll always remember it because thanks to this project I was given the opportunity to work as a Front end dev and I’m happy still working as one.
Last Week Friday:
PM: We'll be taking you off the one project on to another, we'll send the details later.
PM: Ok cool, so you'll be looking at a script that one of our Pillar heads has scripted. You need to make sure it works and that it can run on the server.
Me: *I always thought this guy was useless now i get to see what he can do* Cool, just send the documentation and i'll take a look at it over the weekend. Just tell me when you've sent it.
Project Head: I'll inform you when i send the files and how to run them.
Me: *I know how to set up a database locally, i'm not an idiot* Cool.
Whole Weekend I don't get a single message.
Project Head(PH): Have you taken a look at it yet?
Me: Taken a look at what?
PH: The Database and the Script
Me: i didn't get any message over the weekend.
PH: I sent it yesterday, it should be in your inbox.
Me: There's Nothing. Sending anything on a Sunday is expecting me not to see it, especially at 10pm. Besides i can't retrieve any of the files in the attachment(Outlook tripping), rather send it in a zip file or upload it to onedrive.
PH sends the link. I get the files, set up the DB, glance at the script.
Me: This is actually interesting.
PH: You know what it does?
Me: My SQL knowledge is below average but i can read and understand it pretty well. So your dynamically copying the database from the server to the warehouse, cool.
It's not going to work though.
PH: Check first.
I check it
Me: Doesn't work, but it sort of works.
PH: What do you mean?
Me: Some tables are populated but some aren't,, how and there's a shit tone of errors.
PH: So i does copy the data over.
Me: Some of the data.
PH: test it on the Server
Me: Not a good idea.
PH: Just try it.
PM: In the mean time i'll send you some documentation i need you to review and edit.
Me: *Idiots* Cool.
Me: Have you checked it on the server yet?
PH: Not yet, busy.
Me: Where's the documentation again?
PM: I'll send it it a moment.
Me: In the mean time i'll write some script to fix that script that's definitely not going to work.
Boss: I heard you done with the script
Me: It's not done, but we'll be testing it on the server later.
Boss: Then why are you running it on the server?
Me: Ask the PH and PM.
Boss: What are you doing now?
Me: Well i'm supposed to do documentation *looks at PM* but i haven't recieved any yet, so I've been writing a script to fix the copy script.
PH: Ok we'll test when the boss leaves, after all the meetings.
PM: here's the documentation.
I start on documentation.
PH: It didn't work.
Me: I know.
PH: Fix it.
PM: What you doing?
Me: Fixing the script,
PM: Do the documentation first
End of the day:
PH: Why you doing the documentation? The script has highest priority.
Me: Ask the PM.
Boss: can we talk.
Boss: I though you said the script was done?
Me: i said it sort of works, just doesn't do the job 100%.
Boss: Monday i was told it's done.
Me: i only looked through it Monday to understand it, i done nothing before Tuesday. though i have been trying to create a script to fix it.
Boss: Your working really slow hey.
Me: *It's been a week, and stupid people are in charge* I was doing what i was told.
Boss: Cool.(His Upset)
Stupid FUCKEN people, make stupid FUCKEN decisions. But Hey, the boss only see's the final result. I am a human being, even i make mistakes. But there's a huge gap between stupidity and a mistake.
I am annoyed af...
As I slowly get clarity about this, I realised what a trash place we have created for ourselves and other species too.
I am Product Manager and now the ratio of PM:Dev is usually on average 1:10.
Now when a dev goes job hunting, they apply few places, get some calls, their skills are tested and validated, they get an offer, join and perform tasks that are given to them. No fucking rocket science. Everything can be learnt.
Now let me explain you the fuck up corporates have created for PM space. They want the exact match. You heard me right. EXACT FUCKING MATCH. One should be from the same domain, same industry, have had same past experience, must know how to code, can design, knows business, handles sales and customers, and everything. Cool. And little misalignment and you are kicked out.
What the fuck!!! What about skills? Well.. we don't give a fuck about your skills.
And hang on.. the shit country I belong to has additional filtering criteria of having B.Tech and MBA from top tier college else you are a worthless person not skilled enough to even clean the office toilet.
Alright, so until now I used to think I am retard lacking skills or unable to crack the interview. Turns out I am performing well in job search. Out of 600+ applications, I got ~25 calls and ~5 interviews and ~2 references in 4 weeks. This is a fucking good score. Can you believe it?
How do I know? Well I discuss my failures more than my success and I started talking to folks who too were interviewing and when I said I am struggling and these are the numbers, they were astonished and they said they are struggling through 8+ months with almost zero success.
I was talking to a chic this evening and she even had post graduation and good brands on her resume yet she is struggling. Another guy going through the same and many others too.
The market is rigged. I always wanted to go into business. I stuck around into Tech and found the PM role. It aligned with business but in tech side so I fucking loved it.
Then slowly realised how everyone just follows the sheep mentality with absolutely no creativity and people just copy each other. The role totally lacks innovation and it's all about building enough to raise next round of capital.
FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
I AM STARTING TO HATE THIS ROLE. SOMETHING THAT I LOVED BUT NOW I HATE IT WITH BURNING PASSION.
ABSOLUTE NO VALUE ADD TO LIFE OR SOCIETY.
I soooo want to go back to my business world or maybe become a simple tester who happily floats around breaking products.
I totally regret not learning how to code. HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO CODE.
Surrounded by sheeps and everyone has a herd mentality where I currently work.
One Dumbfuck today said AI/ML can be implemented without any database so why are we not considering that option and wasting time analysing data via ML. Fuck me in arse with a rock dildo.
These guys are getting paid millions for just being dumb and other dumbs around agree to him because he somehow has an experience of some client who had an ex-dev who once worked on Business Intelligence.
I am soo annoyed with this culture. When will the system tip?!!!!
I need more freedom, innovation, and creativity to create value and solve impacting problems instead of chasing degrees or valuation.10
PM: We have a really exciting job for today.
Me: Great! What is it? Website? Emailer?
PM: Business card design and ad resizes!
My previous job. My first day at work. I get my laptop and I start walking to my office. My PM intercepts me and starts harassing me about our team being late. She ignored the fact that I had not even manage to turn the laptop on yet!1
The most obnoxious company process I've encountered so far is the nonexistent one.
This is what happened at my first professional job. PM and CTO quit after about a year, yet the top honchos were insistent of salvaging what was left of their "enterprise" software suite and putting us through a death march to try and continue development.
No plan, despite having a JIRA board filled with month-old backlog stories. No direction, because the CEO was now head of the project and wasn't in the office about 50% of the time, and our lead dev wasn't willing to take the reigns.
I wouldn't have minded trying a bunch of different things and having them fail. At least then we'd be doing something, you know? But instead we sat around, trying to squeeze any kind of goal from the higher ups, until I finally had enough and found a much better job.
It wasn't enough to convince me to give up software development. But boy, did it sure come close.
Best boss I've had was when I was collecting recycling materials as a truck driver.
The company mostly employs unliterated people that can't get a job anywhere else, so It has lots of dumb, jealous people who made his life miserable.
Still, he's so good with people that he could filter it all out and we had a great relationship even in such a poisonous environment.
He was really sad when he told me I wouldn't have my contract renewed. He allowed me to work from 5 am to 2 pm so I could finish my 12grade class (high school) at night and I fell asleep one day. The company does not renew contracts if you miss even one day. When people talked bad about each other he would just nod and do nothing or descalate the situations.
Well, I'm off to help my dad again :( he's the one who gave me the taste for DIY, but fuck his projects take so much time. Were repainting a motorhome :D
Currently I feel like the personification of the term "thrown into cold water"
After I finished my bachelors degree, I started working on first of april. The first full-time job I had. Therefore I had some training in the first 2 weeks and after that I joined a project after easter. Fast forward two sprints:
Currently I am the only dev in that project, tomorrow is sprint review with the clients and I have to present like 5 tickets of the 10 planned for this sprint. Of my 8 working hours a day, 4 are planned for my self-training and 4 for tickets. Actually its more like 6 for training/reading/understanding the code, because its mostly a whole CRM I am supposed to develop... PM said another dev will join the project in one or two weeks. I hope the client didn't slay me till then..2
I work 3 PM to 1 AM as a daily office job. Then go home and try to learn programming. Wake up next day at 8:30 AM for kind of another work until 1PM. Doesn't pay as much but I have to try. Then if I get free time do some freelance on UPWORK with whatever little graphic designing I know to help pay the bills.
And the fact that even my laptop is dying is a huge blow. Don't know when it might give up. Has 1st gen core i5 dual core, takes ages to load Adobe softwares. I have wanted to hulksmash this shit, but can't.
If I'm lucky, I get a stress free 6 hours of sleep a few days a month. And my depression doesn't help. More sleep should ease me a little, but I can't afford to waste any time. But this is life, isn't it.3
I swear to God, Days i feel stupid i Look at my PM's code changes and laugh.
What kind of Fuck Tard creates an api call just to return JSON(true)
And to top it off I pulled the latest after his poisonous stench was added and gave me a broken build!
Serious! D ass clown put in a variable with the same name twice, does this buck not build before he commits?
Im starting to believe that this is a hidden camera show where they pulled a fucking mental patient out fking looney toon land and gave him a PM job in a tech company!5
So I am currently making an app for a retail franchise and that retail franchise is getting a website done by a company. Since the recipes that the guys want are going to be on the website, the web dev company made a mysql db that has all the recipes.
I thought since the people at the head of the retail franchise have spent time gathering these recipes, I'll just get the data for the app from the db.
I called the project manager for the website up (That's the only contact I got) and asked if they could given me access to the db to use for the app or if I could make a script that would get data from it.
Now this is the part where I tell you I'm only 14 years old and these guys know that because of the head of the retail company.
He puts it on speaker and asks me to say it again and I hear quite a bit of people laughing. I knew what was happening. He asks do you know anything about databases, I explained to him what a db was and how I was going to get the data from it and etc. Half way through me telling him that it would be beneficial for both me and the retail guys, he hung up the call and blocked me.
I asked the head of the retail company if he could ask them about it and he said that he didn't know much about tech so he couldn't ask and if I could find an alternative option.
You might be thinking that the company didn't want to give me permission to access the db which is respectable but they have done this previously as well.
I gave them advice on putting a rewards card feature on the site so the customers could track their points on the site as well as on the app and the PM said "We don't want advice from you."
It has now been 3 weeks on and off because of school where I had to code a ui for the lady at the company to enter all her recipes for the app and waste a lot of time communicating with different people to get all the data.
I hate being disrespected because of my inexperience when I can truly do some extraordinary things with software. 😡😤😣
Its also very hard to find a job being 14.5
Was hating my new job. Turns out my PM is new and was assigning me tasks outside the scope of what I do. But yeah PM, keep pushing for a shiny front end to an internal tool. Not. Happening.1
Fuck those customers...
Wednesday: Sprint Planning
Customer: We want those two datepickers in the job application form to be text fields instead
Me: Okay, this will take some time bc I have to change the data structure too.
Customer: Okay do that. this is urgent
Thursday: implemented and merged
Monday: QS approved it
Yesterday (Tuesday) in the morning:
Customer (via Slack as a PN): Hey! Why are those fields no datepickers anymore? We want to show that to our boss this Friday! And why do we have this small icon on the right side of the field (Chromes autocompletion)
Me (to PM): Could you please tell them to think before creating tickets or writing some shit?2
Well I was laid off at my last company with 6 weeks paid holiday at the end of my employment - since one of my hobbies is volunteering at the red cross as paramedic / ambulance driver, I was on duty quite often in those 6 weeks but since this job does not pay well, I had to look for something different and so I did - after those 6 weeks.
I found one quite nice job posting online at 1 am in the morning, sent my application out at 2 am and went to bed as I had a 12 hours shift at that day. I didn't really think that I'd get a reply but at 6 pm I got a call, talked to the guy and he asked me if I could come in the next day and talk to him in person and show him some stuff I did lately. I didn't really have projects to show as most of my previous work was under a NDA and so I just developed a small blog engine to show off (the main thing he wanted to see was my coding style). So I went there at 7:15pm , talked to them and at 10pm I got the contract - I signed the contract about 48 hours after I applied to the job :)2
Most memorable co-worker was a daft idiot.
this was 10 years ago - I was working as a junior in my very first job, fresh out of uni, for a very small startup. It was me, and the 3 founders, for a very long time. Then this old (45, from my perspective then..) dev was hired.
This guy had no idea how to do the job. no common sense. the code confused him. the founders confused him. I was focusing on my work - and was unable to help him much with his. His only saving grace? He was a nice guy. Really nice.
But why was he so memorable, out of all the people I ever worked with? simple. He had a short term memory problem. Could not, even if he really tried, remember what he did yesterday.... when I asked him what his issue was, he decribed his life is like a car going in reverse in a heavy fog. "I can only see a short distance backwards, with no idea where I'm going".
Startup was sold to a big company. I became a teamlead/architect. He? someone decided he should be a PM.
I hate dev politics...
PM: Hey there is a weird error happening when I upload this file on production, but it works on our test environments.
Me: After looking at this error, I don't find any issues with the code, but this variable is set when the application is first loaded, I bet it wasn't loaded correctly our last deployment and we just need to reload the application.
Senior Dev: We need to output all of the errors and figure out where this error is coming from. Dump out all the errors on everything in production!!
Me: That's dumb... the code works on test... it's not the code.. it's the application.
Senior dev: %$*^$>&÷^> $
Me: Hey I have an idea! If test works... I can go ahead and deploy last week's changes to prod and dump those errors you were talking about!!
Senior Dev: OK
Me: *runs Jenkins job the deploys the new code and restarts the application*
PM: YAY you fixed it!!
Senior Dev: Did you sump put those errors like I said.
Me: Nope didn't touch a thing... I just deployed my irrelevant changes to that error and reloaded the application.2
Our PM just send a mail to our team, that after testing the latest extension we made to the project, he could not find a single issue or bug (usually there are some minor UI problems or some edge case bugs we did not think about or know existed)
and what a incredibly great job we did, and he also forwarded the mail to all our managers up the hierarchy right under the CEO.
The appreciation is a nice change to the self-hatred I feel while coding3
I worked at a computer repair shop about ten years ago and had a coworker who seemed like a pretty cool guy, very smart, and a few years after I left that job I tried to look him up online to reconnect - I thought there was a potential friendship there. But the weird thing was, for all of his technical savvy, his online presence was almost non-existent. I found him tucked away in some old posts on some weird forum site, so I registered on it just to send him a PM. Unfortunately he never responded.9
when you got used to coding PHP in uni then the first job you get uses Python.
PM got me like: you gotta unlearn your PHP in here and don't ever compare the past with the present.
just like in relationships... don't ever compare the present with your ex
Never enter an elevator after your PM.
I just did and he asked me to tell a job applicant (i think) who was standing next to him whether it's worth it to work there.
As I am utter shit at small talk, improvising and talking to people in general i looked like an idiot who didn't like the company while trying to get out of that conversation.
This guy just loves putting people in awkward situations.2
I am working on the backend of the event website and my PM expects me to also design logo for different sub-events.
Apprantly it's part of my job.
Debating on whether to quit my job.
Part of the reason it's hard for me to make a decision is there are a lot of good things about my job:
- almost all the projects we work on are blue sky; no technical debt anywhere
- great teammates; people help each other out and generally there's a good vibe
- reasonable boss; he's totally fine with me managing my own schedule, and since I get my work done, he basically never questions when and where I work
- about 1 hour of corporate meetings each week
- best healthcare I've ever had; basically everything is paid for
- 3 weeks PTO & all major US holidays
- free food; generally healthy office snacks and such
So why would I want to quit this environment?
- I hardly get to code anymore. About 2 years ago, I got asked if I would mind helping spec out projects. Since then, I've moved from writing code related to projects to helping my teammates understand the business situation so they can build the right thing.
- I'm in lots of meetings. So we have very few meetings for the company itself. We have a bunch of customer meetings, though. And progressively, I've getting pulled into meetings where there's really no reason for me to be there, aside from "we should have a technical person present."
- The sales people are getting tired of turning down clients that our product isn't targeted for. So they're progressively pushing to make products in those areas. Unfortunately, I'm the only one on the engineering team has any experience in that other tech stack. Also, the team really, really don't want to learn it because it's old tech that's on its way out.
- The PM group is continuously in shambles. Turnover there has averaged 100% annually for about 5 years. Honestly, IMO, it's because they're understaffed. However, there has been 0 real motion to fix this other than talk. This constant turnover has made it so that the engineering team has had to become the knowledge base for all clients.
- My manager has put me on the management track, but has been very slow to hand off anything. I'm the team supervisor, and I have been since the beginning of the year formally. When the supervisor quit last year, it basically became obvious to me that I was considered the informal supervisor after that. However, I can't hire or fire; I can't give a review; I don't have any budget; I can't authorize time off. So what do I do now? Oh, I'm the person that my boss comes to ask about my co-workers performance for the purpose of informing promotion/termination/pay increases. That's it. I'm a spy.4
-Interviewer: "do you have any problems in working after 19.30?"
-Me: "what do you mean? if something's wrong and it's my fault, l'll do my best to ..."
-Interviewer: "well, we have people here that works usually after 19.30, so if you have any problems in doing this, better to know now."
(uhm... the job was from 9AM to ... WTF PM?!)11
never before have I been happy to be asked to work overtime, but for once, fuck yeah...
Bit of back story, I am tech lead on a massive project that has been run like a complete shit show, the PM who also happens to be the brains behind the project seems to think we are miracle workers and for the first 9/10 months of the project would make significant, like delete a weeks worth of code and start over changes, 3-5 times per week. There are features for the v1 release that have been built in excess of 5 times. I have been saying since October that even without all his constant changes, we will NOT make the deadline, and naturally as is part of my job I argued against every unnecessary feature he tried to implement, eventually he pulled me into a meeting to tell me how much he values my opinion, I need to stop arguing with him and he does not want to work with yes men (I have a rant about that convo already).
I believe our CEO finally started smelling a rat as he insisted on joining our daily stand-ups, during which said PM scripted some lovely stories to disguise the fuckup we are in, and since has assigned another PM to take over and do proper project management and risk analysis.
That is where the email comes in, a lot of the work assigned to me will miss the deadline by a month, honestly I am impressed that it is by so little and so few people will not be missing it, but anyway, he probably spun a few stories there too.
So I spent part of the work compiling the most perfect surgical response as not not actively throw him under the bu, but create a quite a few questions that they hopefully as, as himself and the CEO where cc'd into the mail.
And the jist is, the deadline itself was still impossible and 8 of the 10 tasks assigned to be have ZERO back-end whatsoever, and those tasks are about 80/90% integration to said non-existent back-end, some of those services and data structures have not even been planned yet and we are a week past the deadline and 3 weeks from the just as useless extension.
Needed money for my company, not enough clients to support business on SaaS alone. Took on a 5k / month job building a platform that competes with my SaaS (more niche, less generic). Also sign up new client who that company's owner is part owner onto my current SaaS. Win / Win?
I do a lot of custom work to my platform to fulfill their needs, which is why I ran out of time for the 5k / mo project. I did these customization for free. Losing money to keep client, but also improving my system.
Work gets busy, I need to drop the 5k project. Client is upset I am working more on his other company (he is not majority owner). I return 1 month of funds to the owner and say I cannot continue.
Owner threatens to make other company that he is part owner stop working with my software if I do not complete project. Blacklisting...great. I agree to work with an overseas developer to do it and PM it for 3 months at least. Making nearly nothing from it (now 1k / month for PM), working nights to deal with India, losing sleep...
Other company suddenly folds due to conflict of egos with that SAME owner. Users drop from 16 to 1. I drop the project, no more strong arming me. Everything is a loss, all effort and money lost for nothing. Bad bet..however...
Owner becomes 100% owner of the other company, and of the software company. I transition him to PM his own project, he still uses my software because It doesn't, nor will it, ever do what the one he is building does. Also, partners from previous company break off and use my software again. New Client. #profit.
But holy hell was it stressful in the interim. People's business tactics are disgusting. Stay calm, play it neutral. Win. Sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do in order to succeed...at least for a little bit.
I was so scared that how he screwed his partners he would screw me over as well if I built one of the modules I have planned for my System, but haven't done yet.
If I did it for him first and then built my own (totally diff codebase) I really didn't want to run into any legal issues considering the schematics he has now are mine, but I didn't finish that part of the system for him. He is obivously highly competitive. Even though he wanted me to, and still does, want me to run his company for him.
Who knows, maybe in the future. To be CTO / COO of two SaaS CRM's in the same space may make sense. But I will never sell my software to him or partner with him. Too much drama. Avoid the drama. Be careful out there fellas.
If you are a creator, people will take advantage of you in every way imaginable. Read the fine print, read the people, document everything. Don't put yourself at risk.
That moment when you're at work and u got a call from another company's hr to set up job interview cause your PM is making you hate being a device :)2
Holy fucking monkey nuts my boss is such a cunt, he is soo damned ignorant, for some who worked in dev for 20 years, to tell another dev that is easy, should only need to change a few keys in order to be able to completely rewrite 6 months worth of work. Poor bastard was soo pissed he finished a whole bottle of whiskey.
I made him work from home today, we not really meant too, because you know, Developer do not do work if their duck dick of a manager is not there watching, and well it makes it a lot harder for him to make rediculously, moronic requests like that over slack.
Part of me was genuinely afraid he would same something equally moronic and said dev would try and kill him, which would put the rest of the office and the awkward position if having to help. Really complicated to cover that up and then get the stories straight and iron out the alibis.1
So today i had to visit this banks site to do updation on a document but for some reason the modal dialogue that was supposed to open was not working and i couldn't continue to next step.
On an attempt to contact customer support, i browsed the site for relevant details. As i do that, i observed this site is so shitty that it can't even properly render on Google Chrome! It was an horrific experience finding info in that site.
Finally found the customer support form and as I clicked the "submit" it didn't give any feedback whether it was processing or not. After like over a minute of uncertainty, it got redirected to a 404 page.
Frustrated, I went on to their twitter and I almost tweeted calling out their terrible web developer team.
But, my instinct told me to calm my titties and i tweeted a regular confused user tweet.
Got their attention and few hrs later i got a phone call from someone working there. He didn't sound like a customer service representative from the way he spoke. He told it was an issue with their website and had fixed it. I tried again as he was on the line but it was not working for me. And then i shared screenshot of the issue. He tested it again and said it was working for them. Still not working for me. ( Probably cache issue on my end ). Thought he would suggest to clear cache and try. But he asked me to try on another computer since it was working for him.
As i searched for a another system, i got a call from customer support guy and he said he will do the update on their end and told me to tell details. Since the info was not that sensitive in nature, I went with it.
Pretty sure the other guy i talked to was a developer.
This made me think - had i tweeted out a mean tweet calling out their shitty website it would have been probably awkward talking to him - I'd have to be mean again. It could've ruined his day, maybe he was under pressure from his pm that he had to make the phone call. He probably hates his job already managing that shitty legacy code..
I don't know - either way, I'm glad i was able to keep myself calm and not be a source of negative energy.1
A long struggle to change a nazi enforced scrum methodology that cut our efficency, technical standard and dedication to the product by just working on fragmented features that were added and removed by the wim of the PM.
Job offer in hand as senior dev somewhere else, I stayed, got better eventually. My old boss kept complaining on me for years in performance reviews that I did not respect managements decisions.
Two years of badly led scrum regime left our product in a spagetti mess that is still trying to be untangled.
Til this day, if I hear someone mutter "scrum", I feel a strong need to run far far away.6
Hello, my first time here. I got to know this website/app from my PM because I need to vent it somewhere other than him according to my PM.
So, here goes my first rant. The date is today (Monday). The rant subject is our new tester. Some context on the guy. He started in our office 8 weeks ago and his title is senior tester with some years in testing. Me and my team with the exception of our PM are new hires and for me, this is my first job after graduation.
After a grueling month of pushing for new modules and bug fixes from our monthly UAT from the client (yes, this will be a future rant one day), about 2/3 of the team is on vacation paired with a long weekend. So, a very few ppl in the team including me and my PM came for today.
I usually came quite early, around 8 am as I commute with public transportation. As soon as I have my breakfast and just getting ready to open my dev laptop, he came to me with a bug. This is like under an hour I came to office. I'm ok with anything related to the project as today was deployment day to test server for our monthly UAT. So, I check the bug and it wasn't my module but the PIC is not there and I familiar with the code thus I fixing the module.
Then, not even 15 mins later, while fixing this module, he came to me with another bug. I'm still the only one who in office that can fix it thus have to do it too. Finished the both bugs, pushed and je retested it. Fortunately, my PM and another colleague came. But, for some reason, he only comes to me for the bug fixes.
The annoying thing for me is that he comes to me every time he found an obstacle, bug or glitch. At this rate, by hourly. Thus, this cycle of impromptu going around fixing-on-the-go for the project begins, for me. Then, my PM asks him abt our past issue log given by the client UAT. Another annoying part is he never checks the clients feedback to see if the result can be produced again. The time he checks it is when ppl ask abt it and test it 1 by 1. Then he came to me again with why x person marked it as done. Like hell I know why they marked it done, you the one who need to check with them. Thus, I called/messaged the PIC for x modules abt the issue and then they explain it. I have to explain it again to him abt it and then he makes the summary report for the feedback. This goes until lunch.
I thought the bug fixes is over and I can deploy it after lunch. I thought wrong and I kinda regret coming back early from lunch which I thought I can rest for a while with the debacle over morning. Nope, straight he comes to me after I sit down for 10 mins and until almost work hour is done, he came to me with small bugs and issues like previously, hourly. By then I think I crushed like ~10 bugs/issues and I'm knackered. I complained to the PM many times and the PM also said to him many times but he still does it again and again. Even the PM also ranted to me abt his behavior. The attitude of not compiling an issue log for the day and not testing the system to verify what the client feedbacks are valid or not is grinding my gears more and more. Not hating the guy even though his personality is quite unique but this is totally grinding ppl's gears atm. As of now, it's midnight and I finally deployed the system to the testing server. This totally drains my mental health and it's just Monday. May god have mercy on me.
Owh, the other colleague that come today? He was doing pretty much the same thing but he was resolving a major issue which is why the tester came to me.3
So in the context, I ragequitted my school at the end of the 4th year (out of 5, so no diploma). I was broken, poor (the only money I got was my parents), and mad as fuck.
I took a 2 month vacation during the summer where I did strictly nothing, then I sat down to my computer, opened Rubymine and started building my new website (current version actually, new one is in progress)
Right after that, I downloaded the trial version of Adobe InDesign and created a better / updated version of my old CV, and put it on LinkedIn, Viadeo, everywhere. At first, it didn't work much since all my experience was about underpaid internships, so I honestly had no work experience on the paper.
Then, while answering to a job offer, I put my CV on Monster, before I realized I should have done this from the beginning: next 3 mornings I had 5 phone calls, and 2 appointments per day for 2 weeks 😁😁
My current job was one of the firsts that called me, but made me wait a whole month (through appointments & shit) before answering me "Yes" one tuesday at 10 pm, on my way to take a shower. It's been 10 months now 😁2
That moment when you realise mind reading should be on your job description as PM sighs about new amend, looks towards you like you scoped the project.
So I went for a "special" interview to a company whose slogan is "experience certainty" (fresher, was hoping to get a role in cyber security/Linux sysadmin). Got shown what the "real" hiring process of an indian consultancy company is...
We were called because we cleared a rank of the coding competition which the company holds on a yearly basis, so its understood that we know how to code.
3 rounds; technical, managerial and HR...
Technical is where I knew that I was signing up for complete bullshit. The interviewer asks me to write and algo to generate a "number pyramid". Finished it in 7 minutes, 6-ish lines of (pseudo) code (which resembled python). As I explained the logic to the guy, he kept giving me this bewildered look, so I asked him what happened. He asks me about the simplest part of the logic, and proceeds to ask even dumber questions...
Ultimately I managed to get through his thick skull and answer some other nontechnical questions. He then asks if I have anything to ask him...
I ask him about what he does.
Him - " I am currently working on a project wherein the client is a big American bank as the technical lead "
Me (interest is cybersec) - "oh, then you must be knowing about the data protection and other security mechanisms (encryption, SSL, etc.)"
Him (bewildered look on face) - "no, I mostly handle the connectivity between the portal and data and the interface."
Me (disappointed) - "so, mostly DB, stuff?"
Him (smug and proud) - "yeup"
Gave him a link to my Github repo. Left the cabin. Proceeded to managerial interview (the stereotypical PM asshats)
Never did I think I'd be happy to not get a job offer...1
If a PM ever tells me to rip the website template of the internet from the client because we don't have credentials to the existing server I'M GOING TO KICK HIS ASS. Maintaing this PIECE OF SHIT IS A FUCKING PAIN.
The other guys did a really shitty job, would be better to redo-it from the ground up and save a lot of time :(((
The most satisfying bug, the fucking mosquitoes at night, after buzzing around my head or hours. Fixed them by fucking smashing them on the wall with a shoe.
Oh wait, you meant a dev bug.
On my previous job, any problem that my egocentric idiot that i had as PM couldn't solve and i could, was satisfying to solve.
My first job as a '"dev"' (I really need some kind of super quotation mark for this).
I was young and too stupid too know how stupid I really was, I jobbed at a small recruiting firm and one day my boss complained about her database system and that she needed to hire a student to remake it. Suffering from the problem to be too incompetent to even recognise I'm incompetent I obviously offered my services as a python wizard I mean I could write a program that saves fibonacci numbers to a csv file, how much more could there possibly be? Fast forward two months and I proudly presented a GUI written in VB (it had an wysiwyg GUI editor) that was loosely frankensteined onto a bunch of together copy pasted python scripts running on a Windows Server. No web interface just accessible via vnc. It was slow, sluggish and soo ugly but it worked and did exactly what she wanted it to do. Sure the database was a bunch of csv files but non the less, to say it in pm, it resolved the user story. I quit shortly after because of her tendency to not pay the last bill after something was done (and tbh i deserved it) but she never removed my account from the server. So I copied my "magnus opus" from there... Let's just say whenever I look back at it I feel ashamed and yet it serves as a reminder to never be content with how good you are.
There was a big hairy ball of SW mud from another project that a poor coworker had to "reuse". Only that it was impossible because there was no documentation, shit was partly auto-generated with mysterious Excel tables, and the actual code was just as bad. No APIs and nothing, just hacking shit into globals, several nested state machines that were overriding each other's states, and with global side effects. WTF.
Two devs took a look at it - minimum 8 weeks. Schedule was some days, and PM insisted that it was "already working". But the worst thing was that the dev in charge had been looking for another job anyway and quit, so the whole clusterfuck suddenly was on my desk.
The code was so awful that I could only bear it with both eyes closed, so I instead read the spec of this project closely. Turned out that it didn't actually demand this feature, only a small subset of what the ball of mud was supposed to achieve - which I was able to implement from scratch within a day, plus another one for documentation. Phew.
Context: large project moves to touch friendly UI, request and initial specs late last year, specs initial mockups early this year, designer promises final design before end of Q1.
Two sprints into development no fucking design, meeting today about it, designer has no fucking clue about what we actually agreed to last time. Promises again to have it for next time.
What the actual fuck? How difficult it is to least read up the fucking notes and do your fucking job that you are being paid for? Had a half fucking year!
Me: why do we even keep him around?
Pm: he is really overbooked...
Me: my balls are overbooked, don't promise if you can't deliver! (Leaves meeting room)
Fairly confident that this is the last project with this guy...
Am I the only one who just hates working with designers?2
PM: I can't see the Facebook page, can you check what's wrong with it?
Me: *click click tab tab* There's not much I can do... I don't have the admin access
PM: Who is the admin?
Me: ABC (who is on holiday)
PM then decided to bombard ABC with emails & phone calls (& to ABC's family)
PM: When ABC comes back, ask for the login details
Me: But that's linked to the personal account.....
PM: It doesn't matter
Where the f is privacy?
p.s PM is an arrogant bastard who logged in to ex-colleague computer, read her personal emails, found out she went to a job interview, told the boss and asked her to come back then fired her on the spot8
Image you fire 10 resumes each day. No reply. Image you do 2 interviews each day. Got rejected. Image you cold email 10 companies. No reply. Life is meaningless and useless. Looking for job atm, pm me if you have one. The thing I can do is do side projects and keep applying. Life is sucked.3
Today, i finally got my desired job as Android developer in a startup, earlier i was working as a php developer to pay my bills. I told my pm about me quitting this week and man he congrts me from getting out this shitty job.
Now m just waiting for my salary before i quit.
I'm sick of people who don't care about their job.
I'm attending an app design course and there's this guy, sitting near me, who doesn't care at all about what the teacher explains. Instead he sits and uses the very fast connection of the school to download some useless shit or to manage his shitty web site. Today he missed everything about JSP in order to download ubuntu, install it on his external hdd, install vmware on it and download and install a OSX image for it. And we are paid 1.66 euros per hour (for lunch and gasoline).
Is this the way bad PM are created?1
It sucks when the Project Manager assigned to you ruins your website and you get all the blame like you're not doing your job properly. It even more sucks when the Designers /PM / TL gets mad at you changing /adding something on the website that is not in the slices they submitted. Yes, I respect your work but the boss and the clients want to have their website more interactive. We're not doing brochures and magazine, people.
Head of PM and head of UI/UX at my company today expressed to me that they are going to change how user created content is displayed because they know what looks better. I don't think they understand what user created content actually is. I can't believe these people are in charge of anything. I swear they just belong to a club of management types that read the same blogs and follow each other from job to job destroying everything in their wake like a locust swarm.1
Got placed at LnT Infotech through my college placements
Free-lanced at a company for four months and got a job offer from them with the same salary. But the work load is too much. There is no such thing as personal time. It's work 24*7. However, the exposure is good. For one of the projects I was the PM. Had dinner good exposure. But as I said, to much work. I lost quite some weight in the one month that I was the PM.
So now the problem is, should I join an MNC where my exposure will be terrible or a start-up where my personal life will be terrible3
So, this is a story of me leaving my current job. I am in a maintenance PHP project. I usually love PHP but I hate the way this project is done, therefore I hate this project
Now, see the attitude change in people when they come to know I will no longer be there:
> 7:49 AM : *gets a mail without context with some photographs*
> 9:00 AM : *I leave for my doctor's visit which is once in 3 months*
> 10:00 AM: I see, still no email with context, well, I'll go back to sleep
> 12:00 PM: I see, *gets an email from the manager*, so you want this news to be updated with these new images
At this point, I deliberately postponed the task, because I am salty because you are sending images with no context.
> 3:00 PM: Okay, this is done. *send e-mail, WhatsApp, and hangout to the manager that task is done*
> 3:08 PM: Post a rant on devRant!5
Well, this happens time to time...
I'm freelancing as a backend guy. I like to take care of all infrastructure before really starting to build anything, this mostly includes dev/staging/prod environments with some linear promotion strategy. So.. I did this API. Still on staging, proceeding with the development as planned, everything goes according the timeline.
And then.. this happens... At some point PM told frontend guy that it's time for production (without notifying me), so the frontend guy does what "anyone" would do in this case - tells PM to create DNS record for production to point to staging app.
Time passes, I'm still unaware of this. But I'm starting to see some quality entries in the DB, not the usual QA crap. I write to them that they're doing good job and continue with my tasks.
One of the tasks required some major DB change. I could've written migrations script, but since we're not in "production" yet, I just wipe the DB and recreate schema as I need it.
In 10 minutes the furious PM starts shouting that "production" is down and I need to fix it ASAP.
I'm lost, I'm asking questions, I'm slowly understanding what's happening...
So I want to grab some coffee, sat back down, wrote politely that they suck, added a finger emoji and terminated the contract.
Felt like the right thing to do as I definitely don't want to continue within the same "team".1
This is probably the worst place to start my Rant saga but this is recent (this is one of the last few episodes of a 3 series cluster fuck of a job so you're missing out on all the straws that go into breaking the camels back and making him unaccommodating)
TL;DR I do good work, management dont like me and go out their way to try and fuck up my days
So, lets start, I'm a contractor, got funeral Tuesday, book leave, book WFH for day after.
I leave in 3 weeks, woman who is the CIO's right hand bitch takes me into a room the next day or so in the morning to discuss my WFH day. Leave on tuesday is cool but this WFH day...there's only so long until I'm gone so they want me to stay in for more face-to-face time blah blah blah (considering this woman isn't even part of the project I'm working on anymore because she decided to deflect it onto a underqualified junior with no PM experience)
So I sit there, thinking of all the blood and sweat that I have shed, the mountains I've moved just to be told to move the mountain somewhere else and whether coming in would kill me (in other words im fucking burnt out!!! I have built their GDPR database and app backend single-handedly with no requirements, project managers who can't plan and being chastised for asking for documentation/plan/anything written down and having the CIO who is also the fucking DPO ignore any emails/slack I send him relating to the project and having to keep up with a team of devs....).
So because there was a momentary silence, she decided to fill the gap
"Oh, you've done some good work so far and I wouldn't want you to ruin it all in these last 3 weeks. So just come in on the Wednesday so that we can have you here."
Hmm....yeah...i didn't notice what she had ACTUALLY said there, still thinking about can i be fucked? So she decides to add
"...there's only 3 weeks left, wouldn't want you to burn any bridges. Remember, we still have to give you a reference"
....Okay....shots fired. So i respond
"You saying, if I take a WFH day, you'll give me a bad reference?"
"Noooo no no no, not saying that, just that you've done good work and we wouldn't want you to ruin it"
"With one wfh day?"
"We just want you to come in because the developers might be coming here that week"
"Oh... I hear that...what day?"
"I dunno, it's not been booked yet"
".............................I'll think about it"
"There's nothing to consider"
*Start leaving room* "I'll think about it...."
So cool, obviously, had a think, decide to shoot over an email (or more accurately, a collection of bullets). Which basically said, in devRant translation, "Fuck y'all, I'm WFH on that day, I wish a motherfucker would fuck up my reference, we can go that way if you want it. *snaps fingers* I. WISH. YOU. WOULD! "
Woman says "I wasn't threatening you, was just saying...dont ruin your last 3 weeks, wouldn't want you to burn any bridges and that we still have to give you a reference"
What kind of Godfather comment is that?
Come in today, the CIO, who is a prick who don't like me for whatever reason, sends me long email trying to disrespect me and in the midst says "I’m sorry that you have chosen to react like this, I’m sure that [my bitch] was conveying a position that your last three weeks of contract are crucial for a smooth handover. I have made the decision to not require you to work from home on Wednesday. I understand you are on leave on Tuesday and therefore this is now extended to include Wednesday. I look forward to seeing you back in the office on Thursday. I hope this will make the situation better for all parties."
.................................thought you lot needed me in the office to ensure a smooth handover................logic..........people.............where the fuck do you get yours from!?!?!?!? All this just so they can say "We made the decision at the end :cool:"
If they are a good PM just do your job, they’ll leave you alone. If not, just throw some of that micro management back at them. Tell them you need at least an hour of their time to show them how to properly hold a pencil, but that if they need to hold off on that it’s understandable as they have plenty of flaws to work on. That should make things fun
PO: Sure, use any tool to get the job done. You recon within 2 weeks to have a working demo?
Me: You bet ya
****1.9 weeks later****
PM: PO says to use another tool for this project.
I thought I posted about this awhile back but I didn't. I'm glad since the story is so much better now.
6 weeks ago: Told I'm going to be on a super fun JAMStack build with lots of sexy animations. Sweet, this will be a fun build!
5 weeks ago: Find out what the timeline on this incredibly ambitious project is. I start raising flags cause everything needs to go PERFECT for this to not blow up and/or turn in to a dumpster fire.
4 weeks ago: Project "kicks off" with a meeting with the client. We find out that they've decided to do another round of revisions on their design comps, but we have what we need for sprint 1. We provide a list of all the assets/information we still need for sprint 1 success.
3 weeks ago: Still waiting on some assets for sprint one, but we're fumbling our way through. Still waiting on the PM to get around to doing their PM job and building out our backlog / gathering requirements for us.
2 weeks ago: Sprint 1's end date comes and goes. Still need assets from the client, I've personally asked them for the same asset 3 different times. Sprint 1 gets extended 1 week.
1 week ago: We deliver sprint 1 page templates, minus the resources we're still waiting for. Get chewed out by the client regarding the pages not looking like their comps (Yeah, no shit sherlock, you never sent us the assets)
This week: Working on Sprint 2 commitments. We have 2x as many page templates to deliver, per developer, as we had the first sprint. Still waiting on Sprint 1 assets. Don't have Sprint 2 assets. Wait, what about the global styles? They still haven't sent those to us yet either.
Requirements? Guess I'll spend valuable dev time tracking those down for myself.
Client? Well, they're pissed off we haven't hit our commitments yet.
Oh well, at least we have a pimple faced, fresh out of college, CS major, with no real development experience rolling on to this cesspool of a project.
Other devs? Well, we're out of fucks to give. Lets just watch this thing burn.
Oh, I forgot to add, we have 17 page templates to deliever between today (2/27) and 3/18. #NoFuckingWay
Starting job where I am no longer a developer doing developing.
Damm I hate the ops job, now they letting me do pm work without pay raise or anything.
So worse mistake I ever made....1
Company is hiring a new PM (the first one, to allow me, the only dev, to concentrate on developing and not dealing with client crap) and I'm being allowed in on the vetting process.
Background: we maintain quite a few WordPress ecommerce sites, so part of the job spec was to be familiar with WordPress environments and the codebase, and that they have a least 3 years of PM experience.
1st phone interview: I'm an experienced WordPress developer, been doing it for 5 years.
Me: oh cool, can you show us examples of themes, plugins, and extensions you've created?
Guy: oh, no, I just install pre-made stuff.
There was this one dude interviewing to be a manager at my work. He was a friend of the head of IT at the time since he probably would have gotten the job. We still gave him a little coding test anyway.
He turned in just a demo and vid if it working but no code. Looked good, but something was off. One of our senior devs looked into more and found out he just paid for WordPress plugins to do everything. So we then asked for the code to make sure and yep, he paid $20 to try to get the job. Because of the friend thing mentioned earlier, he got a second chance, but on site to prove he wouldn't cheat.
He had an hour to make a simple contact app. So, super basic crud was all that's necessary. Hour was up so we went to see what he got done. Just one super basic HTML form and an attempt at the post. Nothing was saving to the database though.
He thought that if you tried to insert columns that weren't there, that MySQL would make those columns for you.
Also, the entire time he showed us he was clicking all over the form and highlighting everything. He never highlighted what he was talking about either, just random shit.
So then he left and we all met up to discuss how he did. I tore him a new asshole (to find out he was my bosses friend after the fact, pretty sure). We didn't hire him, and instead we now have the coolest PM ever.
I don't know if there's a moral to the story, but.. just don't be dumb I guess.1
The PM is trying to dump the responsibility of change management onto me
What the absolute fuck im your developer and you want me to spend my time filling in data on spreadsheet? Everytime I update an environment I send out emails by fucking hand already because ya'll to cheap for change management software, fill your own damn spreadsheet. You know, do management, your job?
For fucks sakes3
I've had my share of both good and bad coworkers.
My best memories are definitely from the late 90's, early 2k's. The team I was a part of back then really had the best attitude. I particularly remember one of them, who ended up being a PM. He was always joking around, nothing was ever too serious to make fun of. He was an old school punk, and it did show. Although he was always professional in meetings with customers and when it mattered. If I'm not totally mistaken, he started a punk band in his fifties, where noone knew how to play or sing. Great guy!
In my current job, all the good and nice people are either quitting or bullied out of the company. I miss them. Sigh.
Around 24 hours. Over 48 hours!
It's was in high school, I had a job in grocery store stucking up shelfs. I had two shifts that weekend. it's was Saturday I had just finished working a 13 hours shifts and my mates was pressuring me to join for video games and drinking.
Ofc I went there, got super drunk (beer pong and drinking league of legends).
It got really late(around 4am) and I knew I was supposed to be at work at 6 pm, so I call dad told him to drive me home and then to work! He did as awesome as he is!
Had to work 12 hours, I did 11 hours then my boss send me home.I was basically til at bit drink then I arrived I work for 4 hours I had the worst hangover the last 7 hours of work.
When I came we had guest and I had to be present!
Poor life decision, no regrets!
A lot of the skills I use at work are actually learned on my own time. And a lot of the time, it feels like I trying to drag the team forward but everyone else does things that drag them, and thus me as well, backwards.
There's always work but most of it is low value and there's just less and less time to make things better because no one else has any opinion of how things should be...
Maybe I should just give up... Again....
I really need to find a better job or at least one without so much technical debt.
Feels like actually my PM is exactly like the name of in Phoenix Project... But I guess he'll never take any meaningful action.
But when I'm not sure what that is... Guess it really is hiring the right people and doing things right from the start, it at least fixing them immediately.
**END internal monologue and summary**
Funny how things comes around...
So... project start-up... everybody learning and designing the future new system. Then we get to a point that we saw that we'll probably need someone outside or dev team to setup all the environments CI/CD pipelines... Our PM said "what about we get a Devops guys to take care of that?" Most of our team members agreed but our Techlead said "Devops is not a job, it's a culture.". Ok, nice... I understand that point, but for a system of the size of the one that we're building...It would probably be a good idea to have someone to take care of that for us. BUT, he (the techlead) said that he will be taking care of all that himself (along with coding part of the backend).
RESULT: We're stuck in the point that we're unable to test our system in the correct environment, we've no pipeline for automated deploy of our sprints...
Guys, I think the Devops is no more then somebody that is going to take care of some tasks in the project, like the backend, the frontend, the tests, the management...2
PM comes into the bar and shouts:
- drinks for alll on me !
Then he faces three devs sitting in the corner and says:
- so what is the estimate of gaining currency for our fresh and innovatice project i have just started ?
PM on the first of the month: Okay, if you can finish the next part of this on-going task by the end of the month that'd be sweet.
PM today: I need you to finish this today. Oh and this extra job for another client has come out of nowhere, but that needs doing before the end of the day too.
I'm stuck in a really difficult spot in my office and I'm not sure if I should start looking elsewhere. Tldr; there's no defined hierarchy or career path in the web department leaving no position to be promoted to.
We've got 2 offices with now 150+ employees and for the last 2 years I've basically inherited the responsibilities of an IT manager. Planning and deploying our networks, firewall config, VPN setup, keeping users' systems functional, track equipment, order/setup systems for new employees. All of this in addition to my original job description of web developer, which has basically turned into maintaining client WordPress sites while the other developer builds sites.
I've spoken to our CTO (my supervisor) about how much time the IT stuff actually takes and some of my suggestions for the future to make sure we protect ourselves and future proof our systems the best we can and one of my suggestions was that we needed to create the IT manager position because he is usually in meetings or building out API integrations. He's behind the idea, or at least says so to me, but leadership doesn't believe it's needed because we "manage just fine as it is" (this does require 60 hours a week of work along with much automation that I wrote/built). But we're trying to open a 3rd office which means another 50+ employees and systems to manage as well as more websites as we sign more clients.
My pay has never been satisfactory where I am and based on the maximum raise each year it would take me another 10 years to make what I would like (that's calculating without cost of living increase) but they claim this is because I lack a formal degree (self taught). I love most of the people I work with, don't really have an issue with any of them (outside that they're stupid but that I can let that slide if they're trying), and they work with me and my health issues which cause me to miss significantly more office time than I would like. I've been here for 4 years and I've learned a lot but I don't feel like there's any upward mobility here. The only position I see in my department above me is the CTO (or possibly the new PM but that's not a position I want) and he's not going anywhere, and I firmly believe we need someone who can full-time stay on top of our infrastructure before we expand further.
I fantasize occasionally about leaving and finding something else, and there are plenty of opportunities online that I appear qualified for which pay more, but I worry that I'd be trading in something that really isn't all that bad for something that sucks and the only real perk is more money. I'd hate to go somewhere else and start back at the bottom again and have to prove myself yet again.5
Today, after 1.8 years since the start of the project, the PM decided that the primary key of the object shouldn't be using the 'IMPL' prefix and must be also changed in historical data... Why? 'I don't like it' was all that he said in the email.
I like my job :)1
Do you guys and girls have booktips for a fresh junior PM? And what do you wish your PMs could do better?3
So at my last job we had an AM deployment and a PM deployment. We had code reviews, QA, a slow roll process (deployed to three servers), monitoring process, and once everything checked out we fast rolled to the other servers.
At my current job we have a QA process, and we deploy once every three weeks.
My first job I deployed as needed, with no QA at all (I was the only web dev there).
I'm currently at a major e-commerce site, my last job was more of a click-bait site (though it still made millions in revenue each year).
So my question is: is there a "normal" as far as deployment schedules? I realize that each business type is going to have their own needs, but what's the "average" time between deployments?