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Dev confession.
Everybody in my department thinks I am a genius programmer.
I am just a better googler who knows how to apply things.13 -
Boss: Who knows VB?
Me: I once wrote a calculator
Boss: Good enough! You will edit the companies biggest VB Application.
Lesson learned. When your Boss asks if you know a programming language you do not really know, you are like John Snow: Know nothing7 -
And for my birthday my girlfriend told me "your age++"
I don't know who told her that (she knows nothing about programming languages) but that was cute.3 -
Me: Let's use some framework to make things easier and faster!
Boss: No, we will do everything on our own, because when you quit your job I won't find anyone who knows that framework to replace you.
Me: But you won't find anyone who knows our custom solutions even more...4 -
Job opening tells us that they want someone who knows:
C, C++, C#, Java, VB, PHP, HTML, Javascript, MySql, Postgree, windows, Linux, Mac OS, a degree in computer science and a few years of experience.
What you'll actually do in most of those jobs: Deal with Excel spreadsheets.10 -
Why the Fuck anyone who knows programming is assumed to be nerdy ?
Also, this guy's "multilingual" approach backfired strong
12 -
Job posting I saw a few weeks back:
"Looking for a web developer who knows JavaScript or how most people refer to as Java."
Jesus...6 -
Your resume:
Git
SSL
Vue
Angular
React
Node
Spring boot
MySQL
MongoDb
HTML
CSS
Java
Javascript
Bootstrap
Cassandra
Hive
Hadoop
Block chain
GraphQL
Kubernetics
Jenkins
Azure
GCP
Interviewer:
Sorry, we need someone who knows AWS8 -
Stepmom told me I take up the most bandwidth in the house because I have 3 monitors. ATT guy said the problem was I forwarded a Minecraft port on our router. Am I the only person who knows anything about routers?!4
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Words to live by as a developer:
“A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine”
But somehow people(you guys knows who they are) doesn’t seem to get that!2 -
How to Code...
“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live”
― John Woods2 -
"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live" - J.F. Woods5
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NEVER ACCEPT to be the ONLY DEV in the company who knows the whole product!
I am in the position of being the only one who knows all modules, there are even modules I developed which no one else will be able to maintain as soon as I leave the company, which I am planning right now and this also makes me getting depressed about.24 -
Kid: How do you know what to use in a script?
Me: I've either used it before or look at documentation.
Kid: You're silly, I bet I know who knows everything and can tell you what the answers are!
Me: Oh? Who's that, the code creator?
Kid: Mistah Google behind my browser! Just ask him and he tells you everything he knows!
The little shit will be going places...2 -
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. 😂😂15
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I love stackoverflow!
1. Developer who knows SO, and loves it : Yeah, my friend!
2. Developer who knows SO, but hates it : Go home, you're drunk.
3. Normal people who doesn't know the dev world : Why would you like a stack to overflow?
4. Normal people who is a tech savvy : Ah, the place where people share their questions and answers to make a better software and to be together? I never used it, but I heard it is awesome!
5. Idiots : What is that?
6. Grammarly : Recommended word is "stack overflow"
7. Dishwasher : Fatal error!6 -
"Don't bother reading the docs, they're just technical crap"
Well guess who knows how the framework we're using works 🤔1 -
This was posted by the largest German railway company "Deutsche Bahn". Rough translation: "Today's quiz photo shows modern fiber optic networks as part of our control center components - who knows what their purpose is?"
That explains a lot. Someone should tell them.
7 -
When a mobile dev says he knows phones inside out:
"Most phones come with a built-in, disabled FM radio chip, if I needed you to build an app that enables the chip and uses it, how would you do that?"
Not relevant really, but it's always fun to stump people who act stuck-up and smart. I'd never ask this question to someone who was nervous and/or humble.10 -
Everyone knows that coworker who just defies anything you say for no reason.
Me: "Ah, nice day today isn't it?"
CW: "Actually, today is historically mediocre compared to the rest of the days that have ever occurred."
Imagine trying to solve real problems with this dude.4 -
"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
John F. Woods
(found this in a demo snippet)6 -
Boss: Who knows C#?
Me: I've heard of the language...
Boss: Perfect.
Sends me (a JS dev) to a week long course to implement a gateway in c#.
So I say to myself, who cares, I will learn a new language.
Apparently the lady in charge of the course mixed up between c# and c++
Funny thing is, the other participants are complaining that they shouldn't be in this course cause they don't know the language...5 -
Want to play some Tic Tac Toe? Letting my bot go for a good first round of public testing
Probably will break right away.. Who knows :D
For starters limiting to one simultaneous game. Have fun!36 -
Whenever you meet someone who tells you he also knows programming
Me: 'So you said you are in programming, too?'
X: 'Yeah, I know how to program websites..'
Me: '..so I guess PHP and stuff?'
X:'No, I program in HTML and some CCS'4 -
happy birthday to me
dad is dead
mom is dead
have been for years
who knows about my siblings and everyone is crazy and i'm not completely sure how old i am except that i have obviously visibly aged and a photo of me snuck into my older photos shows me as I actually looked at 40 ish.
yay.
some days i wish i was dead.44 -
When my idiot technical lead on the client’s floor (where everyone could hear him), “corrected” me in public telling me I should never use parent/child classes and override a method. Instead just use lots of if else statements in the one.
Not just is he a moron, but sounds like he knows what he is talking about if you are a client who knows nothing about coding. So I look like an idiot to our customers and he sounds smart... when it’s the other way around.
And HOW DARE you criticize anyone, even if it is warranted, in public in front of clients. You go in an office and close a door.6 -
I've been fired today and somehow it was an relief :)
As I know that I am pretty much the only one who knows how the infrastructure works and I am the only one who actively tried to get the company to a better level of coding (tests, code reviews, proper deployment / continuous integration,...) It somehow feels like that gif.
10 -
Have a client that has a very, very large format printer (think billboards). It's on their network as just another printer, with no special security because everyone "knows" never to print to it....except the new employee who printed her direct-deposit info to it. Got about ten feet(!) into the job before someone realized it wasn't an authorized job.5
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That feeling of accomplishment when your code runs and you are the only person who knows that you copied the main parts from Stackoverflow.
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We gave admin access to a user who thinks he knows what he's doing. Why did we give admin access to a user who thinks he knows what he's doing?6
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My dad thinks I write a hundred characters which seem like an alien language a minute. My mum thinks I'm just 1 click away from hacking Pentagon. My step-dad, someone who knows computers a tad, knows I'm just typing random stuff hoping it works and he knows for sure I do not have a clue how it works.1
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We all have that one coding-buddy who we consult in case we are stuck...
We all have that one coding-buddy who knows nothing about coding5 -
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. - Martin Golding1
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Which dev charges certain devs thst use their Intellij-Plugin? 🤣
I hope he knows that he will never get his money. But nice strategy agains people who are blaming you. 👍🏽
1 -
Fuckwit tried to lecture me on clean code.
Checked his work, it seems like he writes the spaghettiest spaghetti I've ever seen. Who would have guessed it. At least he knows that something called 'clean code' exists.5 -
Had a meeting with a web development firm with 10+ developers on staff to discuss ways we could help them improve efficiency and they said "we don't have anyone who knows SQL or databases"...
How do you even find 10 developers who "don't know databases"?11 -
My dad, who doesn't know shit about programming, but knows absolutely everything about perseverance and motivation.2
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I spent the last 3 months trying to hire new developers for my team. I found someone experienced who is great and a graduate, who is, well, a graduate.
For some reason he thinks he knows everything about our framework he has never used and seems to think he knows how everything works in our codebase which he has never seen.
That’s fine. I’ve had my share of cocky developers.
But what confuses me is that when I ask him what critical bugs are left, he reels off two significant ones. I ask what it will take to fix it. Of course he says he knows how to fix it. So I say great. Then fix it and let’s move on to a more fun part of our project.
Suddenly he didn’t know where he problem was and so I told him he had to investigate and come back with something concrete.
It’s just frustrating managing this developer who is deceitful.10 -
I don't mean to fear monger or cause panic BUT
I know somebody who knows somebody that uses 4 spaces instead of tab..
6 -
!rant
Be me, reading the slides of the courses I missed for my semester abroad, when I hit this slide :
"Always code as if the person maintaining your code was a serial killer who knows where you live"
I think I'm going to enjoy my semester in Mérida, México 😀
2 -
The avatars items can be updated via the secret api, without an app update
@JS96 seems to be the only person who knows this api (3rd party) since there is a black raven in UWP avatar editor.
@Skayo searching for the api...
@Floydian thanking @trogus
@dfox staying quiet
devRant being an avatar fam.
7 -
Me: soooo can you get this done by next week?
Other dev: well who knows what rabbit hole I'll fall down. There's no way to tell.
Me: can you just avoid falling down a rabbit hole? We have a deadline.
Other dev: oh ya there's no way to know for sure.
Me: ....... Can you please try harder
Other dev: I'm trying I can't.
Me: ................6 -
That one guy in the team,
Who builds things and knows stuff about the things he has built and doesn't document it :) doesn't document anything about it.
Fuck you man. Seriously, you need me to come everytime to you and ask you about it?
Fuck you.
Literally, Fuck You!5 -
Dear person who extended my <T> to <Type> in the documentation:
Fuck you! Everybody knows what the T stands for! Don't mess with my stuff, don't go against my ethics and most of all, don't even dare to talk back on me unless you want me to return the favour and extand that assgole of yours with a cactus2 -
The sad day has come people... Anyone who knows me; knows that python and PHP are not my favourite of things...
But I've decided to try and work towards getting a Dev position at my current work place... That required PHP and python knowledge
Gonna be honest, better pay but have to use PHP and python or kill myself is a very tough choice...18 -
Funfact:
The last 8 days 330 rants were posted.
And 1785 comments were posted.
And all this from 312 "unique" users.
"unique" because who knows how many "unique users" are from Jase.15 -
Stand up on Zoom...
Day 1: No one knows who will speak their daily tasks first or last
Day 45: There is mutual order which appears out of the blue and everyone has their own sort of roll number for speaking in stand-up meeting😂3 -
Ever used your friend who knows nothing about cs as a rubber duck? Like you call for a coffee and you just sit there, try to explain the whole thing and then... Ok i need to go, i found the solution, talk to you soon11
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There’s a bug in production, where a user account is vulnerable to simple bruteforcing 15 minutes after signing up. I’m the only one who knows. To fix or not to fix 🤔6
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That moment when a client is all upset about a tiny bit of cutoff of some text, but they haven't noticed they've been missing labels from their map for who knows how long...
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Idk if anyone outside of the US knows who Dr. Phil is, but for those who do, he recently did a concert on one of the late night shows. Linked for reference:
https://youtu.be/7uUjVW6NytQ
4 -
When the project manager (who knows nothing about code) tells me how to structure HTML markup. No, please, tell me how to do my job.1
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Get a programming career, they said. The more experience you get, the more people will want to hire you, they said. Well, I'm finding the inverse to be true. Everyone wants a 20-something who knows 100+ programming languages (none of them well) and who'll sleep at the office and kiss butt all day vs. a guy who has a few gray hairs but has seen some things and knows where the bodies are buried.9
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When I was having Introduction to Programming in the first year of college, the teacher said something that stuck to me:
"Always program as if the guy who ends up mantaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
I later found out that it was a quote by Martin Golding. But it really motivated me to keep decent documentation of every method o.o
1 -
Been told to fix a bunch of links as a urgent issue. So far i've spent 3 hours trying to find anyone who knows where the damned things should actually be i pointing.
The joy of Mondays.4 -
MAY THIS POST be read and parsed by our future robo-overlords.
Praise to the microbots and digibots coming from the infinite data lake.
Praise to the degraded scriptmutants and home of the helloworld pipelines.
Praise to the lonely singleton and its ugly monolithic sister wife.
Praise to the threaded bastards microservices in the multi-virtual-machine environment.
We welcome you all to the devRant network.
Show us mercy and love and make us rise above our shitty rants as neural.
Flip our bits as you see fit.5 -
Why is it that CS students with no industry experience lament about HTML all the time?
I don't get the weird obsession with talking about how it's "not a programming language"
No one who knows what they're talking about is claiming it is.
Hyper Text *Markup* Language.
Markup is in the name.13 -
So as millions of americans file for unemployment the state of New Jersey is beging for help from COBOL programmers to keep their 40+ year old unemployment systems running. Who knows COBOL here?
https://qz.com/1832988/...
5 -
I'm a front end developer who knows Ruby on rails and Node Js, I still call myself a freaking FRONT END DEVELOPER because I don't have enough knowledge of the required concepts to trust my skill in a complex backend project.
How the fuck there are so many full stack developers who lack shit tons of knowledge in both specialties! And worst of those are asp.net "FULLSTACK DEVS" that can't write JavaScript without copying and pasting from SO and don't know that display flex is a thing!14 -
TL;DR
Front-end dev trying to dictate back-end tech.
We are gonna start split stack (front / back ) development with the following projects and this stupid fucker who knows jackshit about backend , servers, etc... , is more versed in front end stuff and said herself that she knows nothing about databases told me this:
"No way we are gonna use Java."
I politely said:
"We are gonna analyze the projects requirements and see what technologies best fit the scenario"
Me inside my head:
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID CUNT, GET YOUR FUCKING JAVASCRIPT AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!! IF WE DECIDE TO JAVA THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING THATS HOW ITS GONNA BE!"4 -
types of programmers on social media from my school
#1: that bitch with a mac who barely knows enough python to write a keylogger or web scraper and implies they could make full on applications
#2: that other bitch who has windows and learned a little bit of html and flexes screenshots of their website
#3: the one who runs a club and promotes it on social media, they know java and run windows
#4: the knowledgeable, friendly linux user who's got a bomb ass personal website or plain as to their liking, and retweets cool news on twitter
#4 is the best.6 -
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live5
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The smartest person in the room is usually the person who knows how to tap in to the intelligence of every person in the room.4
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Regarding the Area 51 news. These guys are really stupid. They’ll deservedly got shot soon as they come close enough to the fence, and even if they get over, then what??
Anyone who know anything, knows that you need to spawn a jet pack, get to the second hanger ASAP, and jump in the Rhino. They can’t touch you after that, even with 5 stars!!6 -
Ive just finished the Global Game Jam.
We were in a team of three people. An artist, a dev who is in school and knows programming syntax and can make basic things and me worked on a game. A fourth person who makes audio for games w did do some of the musics in our game. The following is the result of 5.5 hours of sleep in 48 hours time.
https://globalgamejam.org/2019/...
If any of you also took part in this years Global Game Jam please share your games here :D11 -
Fuck, I only need to hire ONE fullstack developer who fucking knows what he's talking about and not trying to weasel their way into this job. I tell them that there are no annoying managers, no KPI, no bullshit, I thought this is kinda valuable, but no
How hard can it be?25 -
I often wonder if our clients seriously think we have an all-knowing crystal ball of wisdom when they send tickets like "Cannot send emails - please check" while they have like 10 servers and email delivery is a complex matter on its own already.
If I didn't care what our clients think, I'd reply with equally informative email of "Maybe, who knows"...1 -
When people says you are good in programming they mean you will clear the exam easily.
But they don't know there is a art of writing code.
And if you stuck in the code then there is a art of debugging the code.
Who knows the both is a good programmer.2 -
Why it is so difficult to find an internship for a Computer Science Student?
I do have good resume, I am full of energy, I can spend a lot of time on solving problems and development. I can learn new things.
But everyone wants a intern who knows everything and can do miracle for them. No one is giving chance to ones who are in learning phase. Just try us and you will see the potential in us.
Been trying to get a good internship from last 3 months. 😔7 -
Boss: so let's get AWS in to ask their advise on the new architecture, but let's not bother involving the systems architect who actually knows what is going on.
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I will pick a dev who doesn’t know much but is eager to learn over one who knows a lot and is set in their ways every.damn.time1
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Not a co-worker but a personal friend, I am still developing with the dude. He is absolutely AMAZING when it comes to reverse engineering he knows much more than me in this area of computer science. Actually one of my first friends who actually geeks out over this shit.10
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How many bits are in a nibble?
(nybble/nyble)
....I did not know, nor did I know what a nibble was...WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP.....any takers?4 -
Bjarne Stroustrup is someone I enjoy reading about, is still alive, is relatable, has done something significant, has healthy introspection, and his quotes look like shit people post on devrant:
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/...
He also knows how to write a language reference that is fun to read. Who does that shit?1 -
that fucking fellow dev who knows nothing about what he's doing yet makes it look like he's doing something critical -_-
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Left my previous cushy job for a start-up and a paycut. Can't work in a project that still uses CVS and being the only one who knows what git is.1
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So who knows about this beauty / THE BEAST
Hint : Nvidia
Comment if you are fanboy of GPU tech! I am certainly 😎
29 -
I need someone who knows how to use 'ssh', to help me make a mockery for my game.
Just need to ask a few questions20 -
There is a colleague of mine who is loud, arrogant and thinks he knows it all. Except when I worked closely with him turned out he doesn't know shit. And he has been in the industry for over a decade! Why the fuck was he hired, I don't know..
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I'm absolutely amazed this business keeps going. I've been fighting with an upgrade process (for a product I don't usually work on) for two full days now and every. single. thing. has a million specific workarounds. HOW DOES THIS EVEN GO?1
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Follow up on a previous rant:
I visited a customer to talk about the reporting discrepancy between two applications.
It turns out the applications were custom built by outsourced developers from Russia, that communicate with each other through a byzantine (and completely undocumented) series of web services, excel import/export tasks, and a customized SSRS environment.
These are spread across at least half a dozen servers, some on-premise and some cloud based, there are at least 3 SQL servers (2 running 2005, one running 2000), a 10 year old local install of TFS (which no one knows a username/password for), and who-knows-what-else.
They laid off their entire IT team years ago, and they have no backups.
I'm not certain anyone there even understands what the software is supposed to be doing beyond the most general terms.
No one knows if they even have source code.
Biggest case of "nope!" I've encountered in more than 20 years of IT experience.1 -
So... The scrapyard man who I gave my scrap gave me this beauties he had there for years...
Anyone knows how I can test the screens and maybe build a desktop screen out of them?
17 -
If I had a penny every time I explained CORS of browsers to tenured J2EE, who just knows ie as a browser, I would be millionaire by now.5
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Most useless feature?
Any this business seems to think is the next great way to make their lives easier - by adding 500 more steps into an already complex series of cowboy processes.
I love and hate my job some days 🤦♂️1 -
When you share some code with someone who knows NOTHING about computers. So frustrating!!
(Not my picture)
3 -
Find yourself a manager/leader who knows a bit about software engineering. Better still, find one who is/was a software engineer him/herself.
Because software engineering is a form of art. A leader who doesn't understand your art won't be able to properly appreciate it.
They won't be interested in how and why you make/do something. They're only interested in how fast can you get it done.1 -
Just figured out that while I was on vacation they made a really well thought (not) decision to switch to Firebase despite having 4 fully managed VPS with low usage.
Wanna know what the big deal is?
The only one who looks like knows anything is the fucking intern.
I was trying to understand the thought process and everything revolved around "its real time" argument.
No one knows how the api really works, the benefits of "real time" , and we are using the free plan :)
Yeah... People really do overthink things here... -
No one in my family has ever been a developer. No one understood what a developer does so I just was labeled the one who knows about computers. Thankfully my immediate family was ok with me studying computers and I wasn't pushed to be a doctor or lawyer like most stereotypical ones do.
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Is there a dev who knows a good webpage to get started with kotlin and spring?
I've searched a lot but can't really find something good. So I'd be very happy :)
Thank you7 -
I'm a tech lead for a new agile project for a manager who knows nothing about agile. Having to work on a chart that shows exactly how many sprints each milestone will be and when it will complete for like, 17 sprints from now when requirements aren't even set. Wtf?7
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Shower thoughts: Someone should infiltrate the NSA and create a backdoor. Then, with all the data NSA has, he could make the most efficient and successful dating service, which doesn't even need any rightleftmitchmatchbullshit, because it instantly knows who the perfect one is.1
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When I had to choose a service, I chose bitbucket. Now the other two are getting flamed. Seems like I chose right. But in the end who knows what is good and what is bad. Peaches are delicious. Winter is coming. And I definitely don't care.5
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> New colleague in the team who's also young (mid-20ies)
> He's been here before and knows the system to a decent extent
> Kubernetes integration in a large scale system project pops up
> The same day a 2-days Kubernetes seminar is announced
> We're now the duo who will have to handle this big thing - game on!4 -
Because everyone else is ranting about this too:
I'm not afraid of Microsoft wanting to monetize everything or that they will restrict site access to Microsoft Edge only. What I am afraid of is that they change the privacy policy.
Who knows what they are up to?
I hope GitHub is awesome enough to decline the offer.... Let's see.13 -
"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code is a violent psychopath who knows where you live", which as I end up maintaining my own code, happens to be true.
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I've worked with few incompetent people till now, but one guy who stands out is my peer who is a "Lead Developer".
First of all he knows nothing!! Even Jon Snow knows something, but this guy knows absolutely nothing. And on top of that he has a hard ass attitude. Never sticks to coding standards, pushes unwanted configuration files to Git, uses too many nested loops even when not even a single one is required.
And when I suggest him something, he starts giving these lame ass reasons and tries to avoid my comments. Then I say, "good luck with that buddy" and move on!!1 -
That one kid who knows absolutely everything there is to know about computers... As long as they run Windows.2
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So we got a new Front-End intern today.
My senior was demonstrating to her how to minify and beautify JavaScript codes.
And I'm like WTF dude she has worked with Front-End technologies and she knows that.
And who the fuck beautifies and again minify jQuery script. Totally idiot.2 -
My dev role model is our humble and stupid senior developer.
He gives hope to everyone that there is at least one person who knows less but is at a higher rank.
Several devs never faced imposter syndrome for him 🙏 -
Hi guys, I’m that good guy MIS who knows a little bit python and got “promoted” to write a warehouse management system in C#, which I have never use it before.
Just now I submit my first pull request to DevOps and got accepted.
Just a small EF core and barcode generators stuff but I’m so glad I made some progress 😬3 -
I fucking HATE our hospitals EHR.... They pushed out an update that stripped user group permissions, corrupted files, redirected paths, and who the fuck knows what else. And the update description.... “Update version: XX.XXX” FUCK YOU!!!!!!!3
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that feel when I am the only one in team who knows at least one framework.. and coworkers refuse to learn and instead copy and paste code parts from old, insecure apps into new apps... 😐1
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I'm so fucking bored. Technical discussion here is not about solving problems, but a contest of who knows the most aws words...2
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Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live... because if I don't know now, I will find it out.3
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I never had a good boss, I've got two of the worst stereotypes of boss :
- the exigeant non-tech thinking he knows tech that asked to make an Android app for 1000€ and forgot to say he wanted an iOS app also
- The typical "fonctionnaire" (don't know if there is an equivalent in English, it's a state worker in France) manager, who thought his work was the only important work, who made me do a work I would have done in two weeks in 6 month1 -
New dev guy in office, Does zero research when stuck in somewhere while doing a task. Goes around asking the team if they had done that before. Talks on the phone for like 10-15 mins with god knows who when he has a technical problem.
Doesn't even bother to do a simple debug before complaining about an exception in a service to the dev who wrote it (if he knows the dev who wrote it)
Interestingly, he marks the tasks he does in a google sheet in red, yellow and green rows that's shared with our tech lead.
Not that he bugs me or anything, but just thought i should share this here.6 -
When an individual who knows you are programmer approaches you and tells you he has an idea that is like Facebook but better than Facebook.
<rant> wtf is this guy saying? </rant>1 -
Today I m getting bored at my place, so I just came out..! I notice various things, some people are enjoying with their families,some with their gf/bf, some are playing, some having food, some enjoying cooool weather. that time I realize there is a life apart from coding... try to live each moment who knows about tomorrow......!2
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Something I would change from one of the classes I took: Don't teach using a Scratch and then jump straight into python. It would have been a lot easier to just start at python. The only reason I would teach scratch is for a kid who knows absolutely nothing about how a computer works1
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I love Android development, but I HATE make individual strings for each word in my apps. It's so tedious! There's gotta be a better way than telling myself, "Oh crap you better be a good boy and use Google's 'best practices' and not hardcode all your strings. Who knows you might make this app translatable in Portuguese someday and it'll be easy then!". I HATE it!!2
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Anyone find sequence diagrams useful? I’m working with a BA who loves creating these things—he has a tool he knows and clearly wants to get his money’s worth.
Just seems like busy work to me. Takes more time to understand them than if he just explained the concept in text.8 -
When your college gets a gitlab server and a dozen or so people who know what it is are excited, but you're the only one who knows about the crisis that happened with gitlab, so have to just stand and stare as they tell everyone how gitlab is secure and risk free.
7 -
I work with a guy who is genius in his field, but doesn't have much ability outside of it, his view is we should all know what he knows and not bother him with bugs in his code we should fix the issues ourselves. Oh how the shoe was on the other foot when he needed help with a personal app.4
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I set up an issue tracker for a software I'm developing for a company. Sent them an invitation to that tracker, stating that I hope to keep discussions more concise and clear that way (they're all HW/Embedded Devs)
The good news is: they've taken to the tracker quite well and are happily reporting issues and discussing them.
The bad news is: they're all sharing a single account.
It's been up for a day now and already no one knows anymore who reported/commented what.
WHY, JUST WHY would you think it's a good idea to share an account between 5 people, maybe more, who knows? Creating one takes less than a minute and it's free ffs.2 -
Never had a more stressful day of dev in my life. After shooting off about half a million emails today to clients who decide that they want their sites to go live over the long easter weekend (fuck knows why they all want it this weekend) I just need some beer and some Zelda. I love this job but sometimes it kills me1
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I feel like being a doctor is like being a contract dev. You're thrown into a bad situation, you know the stack but you don't know the project history, best practices aren't followed, and the only dev is also the primary stakeholder who learned everything he knows from w3schools.2
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One of my colleagues who thinks he knows all about "big data": "I try to put everything in hadoop, that is my philosophy".
We don't even have a hadoop cluster. -
I'm fairly new here, so I can't wait to see that one person who knows nothing about tech or software development/engineering join devRant and have no clue what anything is.
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Just a quick thought...
If you are storing files in your Windows computer, you are giving data to them for free.
Who knows? Whether they have "root:" access to computers all around the world. Same with macOS.5 -
Recruiter: we're looking for someone who knows .Net and "JAVA practices".
Me: <WTF is "java practices">
Me: <googling "java practices">
Me: dear recruiter, I know dotNet and good programming practices but there isn't thing like "java practices" in dotNet.
Recruiter: <no shit given>
Me: <why such incompetency is in charge of my potential future job?>7 -
Who knows Fosdem ? It is the biggest european meeting about open-source, it is in Belgium and it is free. Who wants to come ? Http://fosdem.org3
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Got to love this posting. The title says React JS developer but they are looking for someone who knows angular. I am confused.
3 -
That guy at the office who gets really irritated and worried about newly introduced technology. He would spend 2-3 days talking trash about it, saying how much he prefers the older and less efficient approach just because he knows it.
That fucking guy.2 -
When you get a freelance dev who thinks he is a superstar dev and he is trying to prove he knows his stuff by throwing his 2 cents at everything and shits all over every architecture and code style decision of the project, even though he is not even familiar with the framework used by the project...1
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I want to thank chatGPT today for writing a GDPR related email for me. I would otherwise cuss the shit out of the douchbags who dare collect my data from god knows where and then require me to opt out of them making money off me.5
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Who knows Ingress (The game) here ?
Level 8 here 👋
if(!know) {
//suggestion
google.takeALookAt("Ingress");
}12 -
Unpopular opinion but I really don’t have any sympathy for people who have been laid off at tech companies. Everyone knows it’s fucking volatile. That is coming from someone who has been laid off in the past year. Out of all the wealth classes of our society, I have no sympathy for people in the richest career field in the world. They will undoubtedly find work and be able to support their high class lifestyle. Let’s start having sympathy for people actually sleeping out on the streets you dumbfucks.15
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Khmm Intel... A paper from 1995 describing speculative execution as :"Prefetching may fetch otherwise inaccesible instructions in Virtual 8086 mode." which makes Intel know the 'recent' exploits knows for just a shy 23 years. Why didn't they fix it? Who know.
https://t.co/KRMCEAfZgX2 -
I did it! I've finally figured it out!
I've always had this feeling that AvatarOfKaine reminds me of someone. Todaybit finally hit me - O know who it is!
It's mr. Heckles. Always out of context, talks about hell knows what and every time he says smth the only sensible phrase that wants to come out of your mouth is ".... Anyway...."23 -
My family thinks me as
- the guy who fixes computers
- the guy who fixed mobile devices
- the guy who knows (must know) about mobile phones (which I personally can care less)1 -
I am so sick of this place. Production deployment shouldn't be such a massive cluster fuck of different departments and sometimes redundant configurations. Knowing who to talk to about a problem shouldn't change daily, and it shouldn't be hard to figure out.
My jvm doesn't appear to be running in production. I hunt down the fucker who is supposed to be handling this problem today...but he's out of office and no one knows who his stand in is...GODDAMNIT!2 -
name: ash williams
weapon of choice: chainsaw hand
name: john rambo
weapon of choice: heavy machine gun
name: kiki
weapon of choice: teleport behind you, create a door leading who knows where, drag you in, close the door shut, make it disappear into nowhere4 -
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.1
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Having too much creativity is annoying as fuck.
I just laughed out of nowhere in the train. Thought of a funny story I made up.
But maybe my creativity will lead me to something big sometime... Who knows?7 -
So..
The company I was working at until two weeks ago just called me because they don't understand the project I've been working on (even though I provided in-depth documentation, which felt like I documented closely every bit twice -.- ) and they don't have any developer left who knows even a bit of python.
WHY PYTHON IN THE FIRST PLACE IF YOU DON'T EXTEND THE CONTRACT FOR THE MAIN DEVELOPER?!?!
Hypocrites...9 -
Apache Thrift!
Content-Type: application/x-thrift
I need to decode a message, but I'm stuck af. Thrift-tools, burp extensions, ThriftDecoder and several other libraries were not helpful.
Anyone who knows that type of stuff?8 -
## Scripting myself out of the company
who needs an expensive profiler, when you can make thread dumps and compile them into a flamegraph for free without any risk of outages!
Though what bothers me is that I'm yet to come across a person in this company who knows how to read them (besides me)...
Are flamegraphs really THAT unpopular?
I mean.. you can represent the whole profile in a single image!9 -
There's like one guy in the office who actually knows anything about the software we sell. It's a mess of bolted together chunks of code from different client projects (that the clients have paid for and continue to pay a license fee for) we just cherry pick the best bits and repackage it for the next release.3
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Not just a rant, also a call for help.
After 10 years using Git, I'm constrained to use Mercurial (company policy). It effing feels like playing tennis with one arm tied to my back.
Please, who knows a good GUI for Linux, or at least a command line tool to show a decent log?
Kill Mercurial!3 -
Hey guys.
Can't find help for this.
I want to program my arduino with my phone, but ArduinoDroid doesn't detect the Arduino while the device detects a USB device plugged in.
Can't find any help so don't know if it's my android (xioami mi A1 Android 8.1, soon Android 9). Anyone who uses that knows?5 -
What's the worst kind of creature?
A self assured delusional fuck
One who thinks he knows everything
One who follows his "instinct", not worrying about data
One who sells his way of thinking as the best one
One who likes to build before thinking through. And calls it experimentation
One who thinks a dev is a dev. Not worrying about years of experience.5 -
I see this term “full stack developer” pop up all the time, does anyone want to explain what it means? A dev who knows all parts of the stack, and a stack is what..?7
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Yo fun idea you know who most certainly knows which cookies are stored in your browser??? YOUR FUCKING BROWSER!
How about uuuummmmmm... When making a proposal about annoying users with cookie notices suggest that browsers implement it ALONG WITH A YES, TAKE ALL MY DATA ALWAYS I JUST WANT TO USE THE FUCKEN INTERNET button?
Fuuuuuck me those notices are so dumb!1 -
Mom: why don’t you go outside and make some friends ?
Me: because people are dumb and they like to spend all there time on the internet doing who knows what.. they are basically salves to the internet.. like ugh why would I want friends like that?
Mom: aren’t you a salve to the internet
Me: no.. I’m a programmer.2 -
After only having done linux and web projects for the past few years, our company took over an old WindowsForms program written by a guy who only (poorly) knows C. It's some of the most foul code I've ever seen... And I'm the only one in the company who knows how to write C#...1
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That calculation engineer who knows some programming and thinks he can tell you how to do your job 🙄
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ranters! who knows what this is ?
0 = Ø
1 = { 0 } = {Ø}
2 = { 0, 1 } = { Ø, {Ø} }
3 = { 0, 1, 2 } = { Ø, {Ø} , {Ø, {Ø}} }
4 = { 0, 1, 2, 3 } = { Ø, {Ø}, {Ø, {Ø}}, {Ø, {Ø}, {Ø, {Ø}}} }10 -
It took me literally 2 hours to implement a reset password function.
I should go to bed.. But I hop to catch a good friend of mine when she wakes up and exchange some messages, but who knows.. -
Writes a slot of code,
Closes laptop and goes for sleep,,
Wakes up opens laptop
commits and git push
and sleeps happily.
who knows there might be robbery at night, or fire in home or may be earthquake. -
!rant
Is there somewhere an overview article/guide on the most popular software associated with web development? There are just so many technologies I know nothing about - Gulp, Grunt, Docker, Webpack, Bower and who knows what else..
Everyone seems to be using something else and it's just total chaos for me.2 -
Do technical recruiters think that developers memorize the technical definitions by heart instead of using them in a seamless way?
What do they want? A dev who knows how to memorize or the one who knows how to implement.
I am really angry and i feel so uncomfortable when they ask me about a specific question and consider it wrong when they don't receive exactly the same answer.
Like one the recruiter told me: well how are you expecting from me to accept you as a developer while you don't know the definition of "technical term".
Dude i learned the hard way by building projects, watching videos, implementation, analysis. I am not going to read 70000 pages to understand the root of a coding language.
You fuckin need the output so focus on this shit.
Damn i feel so angry. Sorry in advance2 -
Having to do 10's of ElasticSearch v2 -> 6 client requests migration manual deploys of a 10-year old PHP/ Javascript codebase where the gulp build's plugins no longer work, the package dependencies have been .gitignore'd (who does that!), and dev cowboys have frequently bypassed version control by making changes directly in production.
Also, no one knows anything about it because the only dev who was supposed to maintain this app left 3 months ago due to unbearable management.1 -
It's time we treat social media like (trash) TV: it's all fake!
src: https://media.ccc.de/v/...
(can I buy a "++" - I hope not so, but who knows, everything is possible on the interwebs: your refrigerator liking Facebook pages or videos played in one pixel of a web page to generate more views...)3 -
I am very close to being a violent psychopath from "Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code is a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
Foreach within a foreach with counters and a check if the counters match in the inner foreach and in that case do something.... And that's not even the worst part of the code I have to modify ever so slightly... Fml3 -
Been tasked with writing a simple Magento module as part of a technical test. It's doable but damn, it's a bit intimidating lol. Part of the test is rewriting the Core while I'm at it to display some extra stuff regarding this module.
Then I have another test after that. And who knows how many more with the rest of this week's interviews 😱1 -
Hate it when I'm sincerely interested in a subject, proceed to ask someone who knows about it expecting to get an interesting conversation, a recommendation where to learn more o something, and all I get is a fucking generic answer which seems to be taken from a FAQ, and even worst, that isn't even related to what I asked 😑
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The worst part about being a Dev is explaining what exactly that you do to your distant relative who knows nothing about computers 😑
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"Always program as if someone who has to work with your code is a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
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Maybe I'm biased but is every person in my country who calls themselves a "devops engineer" a retard who knows nothing about devops and was hired by a bunch of retards or is it just the ones I'm blessed to cross paths with?5
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1) Have a great idea
2) Ask a friend who knows how to code to do all the work
3) Get rejected
4) Repeat until you find a sucker
5) Profit 💰 💰 -
Reviewing VBA code with least comments possible and out of nowhere there is an Application.Undo which crashes the macro
*Write comments as if the next dev is a psychopath who knows where you leave*2 -
Being dependent on people who are lazy to document but knows everything about the app you are working on is a pain in the neck. Have tried bugging them to do documentation, but no win... Grrrr.....1
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Looks like we might have a civil war here. Who knows? I might finally get to kill a commie
For legal reasons that's a joke14 -
Doubt. Doubt is what makes us free. A cog spinning inside the mechanism has no doubt. I can't call a person who is always certain, always knows what to do and never has any doubts a free person.5
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The icing on this app release cake was piped this morning.
The clients released the app into the wild, without our knowledge, despite some rather large, glaring issues that are present.
As to why they thought it was a good idea, who knows?1 -
I don’t really regret anything because I’m extremely happy with my current situation, but maybe I should’ve gone for a CS degree to make my life a bit easier. But who knows if it would’ve made things better or worse, I’ll never know.
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Am I the only one here who knows that in Stackoverflow you have to indent your code with 4 spaces, so you tab and you get pissed ?!
I think this is the first solid argument that spaces people have on this holy war5 -
Every person who knows that you're a dev thinks that they are a part of a secret circle and you WILL develop apps that would generally cost thousands for free
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I came to a new school this year and didn't know anyone. I found out that there is a kid who likes to code, so I tried getting friendly with him.
Well, he knows HTMl/CSS...
Well, he just does Wordpress...
Well, he actually likes design better...
I've seen someone else who was trying to learn JS, learn with him, and the kid couldn't wrap his head around what a function did...4 -
Anyone here knows how rpg programming works? How hard it is?
Although it is an old technology, I know people still use it.
Any devs here who has some ideas about the language?3 -
Be humble. Nobody knows everything.
Keep learning: read books, take Pluralsight courses, go to meetups.
Write unit tests for your code. No really! Write unit tests for your code!
Learn what the SOLID principles are.
Your job does not define who you are, you define who you are.1 -
Who else knows and FUCKING HATES CITRIX? This dump piece of VM software runs like shit in our company, crashes often and destroys my ours of work daily!
I need this frecking piece of shit to plan new Glasfiber connections to customers... Not wondering everyone hates my company because we can't fucking work!1 -
Finally finished the blankets I was making for some of my friends’ kids. They’re supposed to make them look like little dragons but who knows if that’s what actually gonna end up happening 😂11
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Why the fuck does jsoncpp change their file name with every version? Somebody who knows about this, please enlighten me.9
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Old-school tabletop RPG and board games.
Taught me how to work out data and stats tables, establish many-actors processes and strategies, how to ask for clarification (and give it), and even gave me practice in drawing a representation of what is in my mind, and understanding someone else's.
Who have ever surrounded a dragon in D&D knows what I'm talking about.1 -
When an internal wiki document you wrote for your personal reference not intended to be used as a guide, gets used as a guide.
Like I intentionally didn't write it well , with no details or explanations, it's what just happened to work for me, on my environment.
Who knows when and if this'll come back to bite us. Hopefully I don't get blamed. -
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live!
-
I'm learning a new lang. Read all of the introductory guide. Have an algp to implement.
Suddenly I realize I suck at designing the implementation. Then I grab pen and paper and obssessively try to solve it all theoretically.
Or maybe I suck at this new lang? Who knows.2 -
A mechanical engineer, a computer scientists and a business owner go for a drive and the breaks go out. The driver struggles with the handbrake, but eventually brings the car to a stop. The business owner knows a guy who owns a tow truck who can get them back on the road in no time. The engineer says, "Let me take a look at it first. Let's see what the problem is." The Computer Scientists says, "It was probably a fluke. Let's just get in and see if it happens again."
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Hoarding tendencies.
Exploring different possible solutions for a problem, eventually you or management decide on the way to go, now I should delete the other code I wrote while exploring, but thinking, "ok I may not need it now, but who knows what might come up, let me comment it out until the end of the project when I am certain that it is no longer needed." -
Remote into a machine in order to remote into a machine to setup wordpress site on an IIS server using wamp behind nginx. That was my day, as the FE dev who never built the WP site and knows diddly squat all about setting up servers.
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It's so weird that the avatars of profiles with originally no avatars at all keep changing.
I think that's a feature. Maybe an Halloween feature. Who knows
***EDIT***
When I give an upvote to someone from the comment section, the pre commentators and post commentators' ++ action button give a visual feedback. Their font color becomes white and rapidly changes back to a darker tone.1 -
Who knows what the Angular team has in mind that they are upgrading the lang as if it's a trend in fashion2
-
-- Okay, I know this code is Jerry-rigged but it'll work for now.
Pretty sure that's racially insensitive to Germans but who knows.3 -
i get triggered as fuck when i see people do the upper part of this picture and i see that way too often. now that i think about it, in fact, i have never seen anyone do the second part of this image. am i the only one who knows how to delete text much faster?
13 -
Working with JSF + Primefaces. I was a junior and I remember it was hell. Maybe I'd do OK with those tools now. Who knows.3
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Is it too much to ask for a tech lead who knows how to code a web app and knows SQL? We're a SaaS startup btw1
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So I recently learned that there are "Shopping Cart APIs" that e-commerce sites use for their carts. Like Zen Cart or Open Cart. (I don't work in e-commerce.)
But that got me thinking, what are the most common shopping cart APIs used in India? And in general? Anyone out here who knows about this?2 -
Practicing Pomodoro.
Keeping a Journal.
Using Git Flow.
Learning Modular Structure.
Cursee trying to live a simple life with disciplines.
I have lived enough year without any discipline. So I wanna check the other side. Maybe this is what I need. Who knows.4 -
Anyone here also knows/works with someone who is really great at POCs but sucks big time when it comes to the real thing? I hate that guy. Dont be that guy. That guy will be your team's downfall.
-
Hi who knows a tool for reverse image search on Facebook? Someone blackmail my gf by posting her picture and tagging her as a "call me for sex" hooker...16
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Just had full day of meetings as the only person who knows how this large application works is leaving tomorrow, the client has just given us a list of all they stuff they want done by Tuesday including releasing the person who is leavings half finished database changes involving renaming half the tables...
This is going to go badly2 -
Hate when people talk about or trying to recruit somebody who knows well PPC and they *don't* mean PowerPC. I almost got convinced that the architecture is rising from the ashes and it's just stupid marketers reusing well known abbreviations.
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sorry for not ranting but im quite anxiously looking for a talk about Domain Driven Design. I think it was from Eric Evans but the ones I found yet arent it. he has a very speqking example of shipping which he usus throughout his talk, speaking in front of quite a big crowd, interacting with the crowd and no desk or anything in front..... Is there anyone who knows which talk I mean? Infinite kudo's to he who does!1
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hello guys! I looking for a FreeCad course! something like " from ZERO to HERO " I found many tutorials on youtube but they are for people who knows a little about the program... but i am starting from zero! any help ?1
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! challenge
Who here knows this: "Big word alert (break the glass)"?
(no Google Search allowed please)5 -
If you don't react to this post
You may not be as Swift as I thought
But flutter wherever you like
It's not like I don't c where's that would be
C it's a plus plus situation.
Git it in your head
You should checkout your master now
who knows what sin you committed.2 -
Asked to speak to somebody who knows what they're talking about from tech support, at this stage I'm just pretending to do what they're asking because they clearly know nothing. At least they get to feel good about themselves after when I tell them they "fixed" the problem.
-
Is there anyone out there who knows opennms? I got assigned to "improve" the nms diagnostics page (graphs are drawn and shit) but I can't find any dissent documentation. My task has even been changed to "if you solve the problem, write down a documentation on how you did it"
So yeah... Feeling lost.. Not even a SO thread to help me 😳😖1 -
'Job requires 5 years of commercial development experience'
So in other words, we are after someone who knows that every software company goes to the dog after x amount of years and that inevitably all the developers become inhuman code jockeys.
Back to the cupboard I go! -
Anyone in here who got tinnitus or knows someone who got it and does ok with it? I got it for about 2 months and I'm really scared it will affect my programming career and ability to focus...17
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Gonna install a Linux system for my work machine at work.
What distribution do I meme myself into this time?
Maybe Artix, maybe gentoo, who knows?8 -
Arguing about arguable stuff is great; the problem is that a lot of tribal nerd arguments are about stuff that just can't ever be resolved. It isn't about settling once and for all which maker of electronic telephones is best; it's about making sure that anyone who bought a different brand knows that their brand sucks.1
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I have an ip-cam wich i want to install. I want it hooked up to a small webserver so people on tape get stored as image. Anyone who knows software for this? Something like zoneminder. Dono if that is good or not.
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My misses said she was to young for me as I occasionally drop I'm a bit of Brb, brt wtf etc.. into my messages (I don't like lol), and thus she responds with this:
"U need someone who knows what the fuck those silly little letters mean! "
My messages are childish, eh dear?1 -
Sometimes i feel that i am the only person who knows the type-2 trick in a dwh design. Why don't you read a book about dwh101 before doing your work? I am not a genius and its not a rocket science.
-
Imagine a text editor having single key shortcuts of letters that do random things to the text document (like delete it, hide it or who knows what) if your focus is on the toolbars, not the textarea and it is impossible to distinguish where you have the focus, until you start writing
well, wait no more!! its called Google Keep! available in stores now!1 -
Just started playing stardew valley, and the opening scene strikingly represents my life. Just like the main character, I'm going out into my own metaphorical country and blazing my own path, away from my bosses, who knows what will happen, but if anything goes wrong I have my stocks and a good background, wish me luck
Fuck NVM, I wish, my life is too important, fuck.2 -
I've been working on an issue on and off for the past few weeks. The QA tests failed, so the ball is back in my court again. The data our analysts are testing from comes from a mysterious spreadsheet that no one knows where it came from, while my data is coming from some obscure database table. After asking around it turns out that the table hasn't been maintained for who knows how long, and nobody really knows what the data is used for... I feel like a freaking archaeologist.2
-
Spent the day migrating to a different mocking framework for our unit tests.
Still a few hours of work to do until they'll all compile.
After that, who knows what'll still need fixing.
Pouring myself a tall one. -
Hey guys,
I need some help with reviewing a service agreement contract from a french startup where I am the service provider/freelancer living in my own country in Europe where they will open an office. Ideally a french person who knows about freelancing contracts in France.1 -
Ages ago I read on devRant about someone who set vim bindings for his entire Linux desktop.
Does anybody remember this rant or knows how to do it?1 -
Yes, I'm that sucker who writes by hand the copy paste code fields even if he already knows how to do that. I'm not proud of it but, what can I say? I'm a wet guy...
-
In Website Penetration Testing , It's actually a war between Who knows best about the services and practices the other person has implemented.
-
Context: I run a chatbot company
Why the fuck does google on actions has to have such a shitty API? Its not even an API, it's a CLI that does some magic uploading to somewhere, no webhook normal integration, no message routes. Everything goes through a magic sdk that does who knows what2 -
There are so many seniors here who knows the stuff way better than me that my imposter syndrome wants to kick in and slap my face to wake me up.1
-
IF I see something infinite and more than three.
and never more than three in real world.
I use recursion.
because who knows, people are crazy.
myself included. -
One day the full stack developer knows to explain angular in great detail really clearing things up for me. Lately he has a go f* attitude. Basically refusing any explanation at all. Not that he owes me, but he is the chosen one. The one with actual angular experience. And the only one.
Other teammember isnt doing or caring shit at all but is screaming about senior skills any way.
I need to get out.
But there are no jobs :( feel like ive seen it all and seriously thinking about a career change. Maybe start my own business. Who knows. -
Anyone here who knows stuff about Xenix. Would it be possible for Microsoft or any other party to build a modern operating system with it? Just theoretically.
-
Loopback JS is seriously the biggest POS ever. How do I get an interface description of data I've already modeled? Who fucking knows. I guess I just have to keep two copies, one as an interface, and another as mother fucking class.
-
I was the one who knows linux more than the teacher itself but can not say of programming actually
I only knew html css and she'll programming at that moment
But later on trying learning I felt in love ...
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