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Search - "those feels"
I’ve become so indecisive in terms of knowing what I want from my career.
All I know is what I don’t want (to end up a in management)
I’m definitely getting a new job and right now it looks like I’ve got 3 offers on the table
Option 1, a previous company I worked for. Still the same problems with the company there as before but the work was interesting and unusual. and my line manager was a good guy.
They have practically no legacy code.
Not much in the way of company benefits but they’re local and it would be nice to see friends again.
So feels like the pull to this is strong.
Option 2, a fully remote company that I’ve been referred to by an ex-workmate.
They’ve not even tech tested me because they’ve read my blogs and GitHub repos instead and said they’re impress. So just had a conversation with them. I feel honoured that they took the time to look at what I’ve done in my own time and use that in their decision.
Benefits are slightly better than option 1 (more hols)
But they’re using .net 6 and get a lot of heavy use on their system and have some big customers. I think the work is integrations to start with and moving services into docker and azure.
Option 3, even though I’ve got an offer from this one but they can’t actually explain the work until We can arrange a call next week (they recruit and then work out what team your in, but Christmas got in the way of me having a call with them straight away)
It’s working on government systems and .net is their least used stack so probably end up switching to Java. Maybe other tech stacks too.
This place has much better benefits than option 1 and 2 (more hols and more pension), but 2 days a week in office.
All of the above pay the same salary.
Having choice feels almost as bad as having no choice.
It’s doing my head in thinking about it , (even tho I might as well not think about it at all until the call with option 3 happens).
On the one hand with option 3, using a tech stack that’s new to me might be refreshing, as I’ve done .net for 10 years.
On the other hand I really like c# and I’m very good at it. So it feels a bit like I should be capitalising on that and using my experience to shape how the dev is done. Not sure I and I can do that with option 3, at least for a while.
C# feels like it’s moving forward nicely and I’m not sure I can say the same for Java or other languages.
I love programming and learning new stuff but so unable to let things go. It’s like I have a fear that c# will move on without me and I’ll end up turning into one of those devs whose skills are a decade out of date.
Maybe the early years of my career formed me in this way.
Early on I worked at a company where there was a high number of Cobol devs who thought they had a job for life.
But then redundancies came and many left. Of those who stayed they had to cross train to Java and they just couldn’t do it.
I don’t think the tech was hard for them, I think they were just so used to not learning that they could no longer adapt.
Think most of them ended up retiring after trying to learn Java for a few years.10
“Lazy mom lazy wow” presented by Gail Swanlund was probably the most impactful piece of art to me.
Through simplistic form, this art piece presents the idea of caring about oneself and quit the eternal rat race for money. But somehow for its metaphor, Lazy mom lazy wow chooses the notion and aesthetics of death and decay. The closest analogy I can think of is the music of American Football. Some kind of liminal, eerie aesthetics. Also, the movie Gummo and the game Life is Strange, part one.
The piece deliberately avoids being aggressive and celebrating its notion. It’s not “quit the rat race and celebrate because life is so good”, it’s “quit the rat race by putting yourself into coma so nothing matters anymore”. The descent into eternal comfort of realization that you don’t have to do anything anymore, but also sorrow of losing meaning.
It feels like launching Counter-Strike Source in the year 2051, only to walk around cs_office and realize there are no players anymore, and they will not return ever again. The sense of watching an old VHS tape of you having a conversation with your mom in the hospital as she’s counting her last days because of cancer. The sense of comfort of coming back to your hometown. You remember your childhood and your high school crush, only to realize that those moments won’t happen ever again.
ugh... laptops are like , crazy addictions.
1 year ago, my hp laptop was the best for me, building android studio apps , keeping daily backups of all my home's appliances comfortably in it, running games and various softwares . i would carry it anywhere without fearing of any damage thanks to heavy cases and keyboard covers.
till i started my first job who gave me an intel mac to work with.I got a revised definition of a laptop. laptops are not what i knew .
- a laptop is something which does not take 20+ minutes to build android apps and can build in 60 seconds too
- a laptop is something which does not need to have a shitty plastic body and can have a high quality metal body.
- a laptop is something which does not need to have a shitty screen and can have a really clear (but fragile /s) HQ screen.
- a laptop is something which does not necessarily gives you ports. /s
- a laptop is something which does not necessarily needs large storage to store your stuff. /s
- INR 60K (or half of my 1st year college fees) isn't apparently not enough for a laptop
- a laptop can cost TONS to get fixed /s
now , i did have learned all this and even after all the flaws , i feel like inclined towards buying a macbook. however coming from a typical lower class family from india , who DID break a laptop screen in 1 year, i am having some serious concerns buying a laptop , a 16 inch piece of aluminium for 300K (almost the cost of my four years of graduation)
but compared to that , i also have concerns buying any laptop above 100k because that's a lot of money , even though I could afford it. the whole point is, my non tech grocery seller parents worked too hard for very less money . i am in tech profile, i believe my work is not that much physically intensive, and i work half as hard as those guys , nd earn good yet spending SO MUCH feels like being an idiot
oh the headache :/11