When you use a new technology without reading the documentation first.

Schrödinger's

Interviewer asked "Write SOMETHING on the board"

I wrote "Something"

When you want to contribute but Stackoverflow says "fuck no".

When you boot and can't remember if its F2 F8 F12 or DEL

Last night I had a dream about a bug and I woke up with a solution. When I got to the office and tried it out it worked...I have heard about this happening before but this is the first time I have experienced it!

This guy a legend 😂.

Two types of people in this world.
Those who press Ctrl+Shift+Esc.
Those who press Ctrl+Alt+Del and click on Task Manager.

This is not a rant but this is great

I GOT THAT JOB OFFER YES! AT LEAST I WON'T SEARCH FOR JOB AFTER OUR GRADUATION. I LIKE THIS FEELING YES!!!

I am serious. In 1 month, I wrote 32451 lines of code.

- 960 functions
- 189 unit tests

Shit happens!

@dfox can we have markdown support, can we? pretty please :)

Time for a rant!.

Got a client I've just built a website for and they went live 2 weeks ago.

This morning he sends me an email saying that the website is not good enough because it's not making any sales or getting any traffic.

I send an email back asking if he has a marketing / SEO company... The response was I thought you do that as you said the site would be SEO friendly!!!.

I'm a developer! Not a marketer, fuck off.

Adding backlight to screens is lit

1. Promise anything, everything to clients
2. Set unrealistic deadlines
3. Devs can't meet deadlines
4. Blame the devs

Anyone?

Windows CMD Russian Roulette:

If %RANDOM%==13 del "C:\"

While using Microsoft word:
Moving a picture 1mm to the right
All text and images shuffle, two new sides appear and sirens are noticeable in the distance

"Please read attached email trail"

Fuck you.

Ever since I started working at a company that has a real focus on software I have less to rant about....😒

Never begin a freelance project without a down-payment -.- 240+ hours in, an eager sounding client, no response for weeks now! What a waste.

Late night coding and my last git message is "changed a shit load of stuff...don't worry I got this"

Good thing this a personal project haha

My morning is starting off with a 40,000 line code review of a php project....yeah how's your morning going??!??!!??

spent 7-8 months looking for work (did a few freelance jobs in the mean time), spent what's worth of days on LinkedIn.. no reply at all, talked to recruiters got declined over the phone after 2-3 mins of call time..

Applied to a company branch in my home country nailed the 4+1(code challenge) interviews, will be leaving this Saturday morning (in 2days) now the bloody bastards start to reply and send offers for positions they have, when I clearly have to decline as I don't want to be left empty handed..

fuck you Sam, Jake and the other pricks that decided it is OK to reply after 3-4 months.. go fuck yourselves with a horse's dick you piece of crap.. After you're done, go shoot yourselves with the gun for ugly dumb animals!!! Hate you!

Kind regards, dev-nope!

Soooo.... this shows now when I open Chrome, best joke I've seen all year.

twitter: good job, let's promote your profile, but you have to pay us.
devrant: awesome job being involved, here some stickers!

found a much better community

Torn between staying up all night to code or waking up very early to code.

When not even Ctrl + Alt + Del can save you... Thanks Windows

someBoolean = (condition1 && condition2 ) ? true : false;

O.M.G....

Fuck you Citrix you piece of shit!

I get fed up when Computer Science students do such things. I told my cousin to uninstall a software, he just pressed Shift+Del on the icon on Desktop and said: "Software deleted Successfully" :(. Why bro why??

No waterfalls here

well shit this is in the git history now...

During the weekdays I code for a paycheck. On the weekends I code for fun :)

Am I doing it wrong?

The feeling, when you realize that devRant uses PHP as main language... priceless..

haters gonna hate :D

Thanks, @dfox

client: We need a system that will monitor the items from warehouse X from a distant location

us: Okay then first, we need to setup a server for that. So, we need a downpayment for labor.

client: I'll pay you when the system is done. 100%.

us: ...

we don't shit money to handle the costs given that we're still starting out our business. Fts.

I heard scary thing.
A tester found an issue yesterday. He came to the dev and reported about it. Apparently the only feedback message was "something went wrong". They spend almost an hour hunting down the cause for that. It turned out the error message was from one of the try-catch. I do not know much details apart from that. At the end, the dev lead said this (which he had said before).

"That's why I don't like to catch exception."

When you edit in the browser and press refresh by mistake 😡😡😡😡

I wish I could manage my bank account like I do my hard drive space...

Fixed some bugs, time to go on a walk!

Dear Laptop manufacturers,
Why the FUCK would you place the power button where the 'Delete' should be? Just so that you accidentally can turn off your pc while typing? Fuck you.

If anyone know a good laptop that is thin and light, 14" and has the power button outside of the keyboard area, please tell me.

Everyone is asleep and I am happily coding away....bliss :D

Me and my friend in class:
My friend: my computer won't boot can you do something ?
Me: *looks at the screen*
*see he is in the bios*
*press CTRL+ALT+DEL*
*computer reboots into windows*
My friend: :0

*compiled a program but got lots of errors*

My Solution:
Recompile the program 5 times without changing anything hoping that it will solve the fucking problem.

Every time I got a mandatory security question, I type in "go fuck yourself with a cactus". There's only one answer for all of them.

One of the many problems with AWS free tier is the obfuscation of expenditure by design. This is NOT OK.

OMG!!! It's finally here!!

Why did the Karen press ctrl+alt+del?

She wanted the task manager

Just woke up and all I want to do code, but I have family over...

SQL injection holes everywhere... The original author of the product put concatenated SQL queries throughout the whole application. If it's not the client asked for a penetration test, we as developers wouldn't even be given chance to fix this shit.

I'm actually glad to have the chance. I can't live seeing them every day but force myself to ignore them.

A kid in highschool asked what are the similarities between Java and Javascript. I told him:

"Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet."

RANT!

I need to stop Procrastinating FFS.

I have a todo list bigger than my arm and just can't seem to get anything done.

Any tips to beat Procrastination?.

And just don't procrastinate doesn't work 😂.

boss: wish there was a way to go back to older versions..
me: there is, it's called git, I can show you how to use it!
boss: nah we will just keep using the sync on Dreamweaver
me:....the fuck?!

Coding on 21:9 34" is so f*cking awesome!!!

I hate SQL Server so much, don't matter how Microsoft say they improve themselves at SQL Server.

There's a lot of fucking bloat, messes your system and your services, adds tons of crap in your system registry, while more advanced SQL engines such MariaDB/PostgreSQL are more contained, and its very small.

Why SQL Server has to mess with Windows' ACL and his own privilege systems?.

Uninstall it and a lot of components remain hidden and tons of registry entries, not even TotalUninstaller or CCleaner can help.

I hate it since my technical high school and my goddamn college is forcing us to use SQL Sever for EVERYTHING, instead of good alternatives, messed my computer entirely requiring to format.

I try always to convince my freelance clients to use open-source alternatives, and say how SQL Server is so crap, (i had variant degrees of success).

I might have told this in other rants, but this thing (requested from the client) is one of the worst thing I've ever done.

So we were developing a website to find the stores of a certain brand across the country, specifically: Italy.
In Italy, a lot of towns have accents and apostrophes in their name.
Client managers wanted ALL DATA to be capitalized, including letters with accents, but the client management was using Windows and Windows doesn't simply let you enter capital letters with accents from the keyboard, so the client requested to make a procedure to turn every apostrophe into an accent, therefore a town named like "CA' DEL BOSCO" would be "CÀ DEL BOSCO" (which is wrong) as they just couldn't bother copy-pasting from Word.

An important thing to notice is that most Italian towns with apostrophes don't have accents and most towns with accents don't have apostrophes, and that specific routine couldn't figure out what to exactly, so we ended up having all the stuff messed up.

The feature was a total SHIT, but the client was extremely happy with it, so we didn't even bother arguing with that.

I have a feeling that a senior dev left a bug on purpose to see if I would catch. Anyone else have that feeling or am I just paranoid?

when you get hired as a PHP developer but most of the work you do is front end...

Installing Mint as dual boot today. Hope I don't mess my bootloader to hardly 😂

>dad nagging to learn python
>i hate python
>cuz i hate snakes
>whatever
>so started learning it
>with some awesome video tutorials
>even though i like the instructor
>i find the language
>boring
>uhh
>why do u use this?
>oh and you say it is easy 4 begineers
>oh good
>then why does only
>del keyword gets highlighted in pycharm
>just to look cool i guess
>lua is way better
>hope lua is more used than python
>and more supported
>but i still like C#

Moral: C# rocks

When your hardware friend keeps referring to Javascript as Java...WTF I figured you would know the difference!!!!!#/###!!!#

Godammit Homebrew.

It's bad enough having to develop C on a Mac, now Homebrew is refusing to let me install a package that needs root privilege. Support simply says "no package needs root privileges" and "run as an admin". BITCH, THIS PACKAGE NEEDS IT.

So now I'm downloading homebrew source just to add a "--fuckingdoit" flag that skips their shitty "no sudo" rule.

Tooling should save me time, not WASTE it.

The ascii DEL character 0x7F or b1111111 historically had a special relationship with punch tape programming, if the programmer made a mistake punching out a character then they could simply punch out all the holes and the computer would skip that character, effectively deleting it, and saving the programmer from starting over.

Incompetence of people around me drives me mad. I see a piece of shit code and I can’t stop myself from improving it.
Also better developers around me. I need to find out how they’re better and beat them

I found it funny that we're actually debugging our code on prod. (while the client is using the system)
Looks like I'm playing minesweeper. 😂

ps. will never do it again
pps. don't do it
ppps. you should not

I just spent a full hour basically telling someone not to use filter as forEach

Going to talk to my boss about adding testing and git to our project, wish my luck!

return (this.isBad) ? true: false;

-kno
-who's there?
-ck, k
-what!?
-...
-...
-no
-...
-...
-...
-ckknockit'smeMrLag
-Areyoukiddingme!??kekfkfh+_udjd773jddjfctrlaltdeldeldeldel

Got a gift from my friend. It was from an Indiegogo project. It worked fantastically until it has broken recently.
Although 1 year warranty was promised according to the site, the fact that it's from Indiegogo means that's non existence (I'd say if you actually receive the thing, you're very lucky). So I disassembled it and had a look.
Now I'm thinking maybe I just need to hack my way in to find out what that blown chip is and if I can replace it.
I am also disgusted by the Chinese printed on the IC...

My next idea for an app, coming soon to Android and IPhone
🤓😜

It's my end of probation and I just got demoted, from originally "Senior dev" to "dev".

My manager found it a bit difficult to tell me but funny enough, I am completely fine with it apart from the little dent on my pay check. Let me talk about the bad first: money. I believe I have been on the lower end of the market pay range anyways so this step-back gives me about 5% cut, which is acceptable and fair enough.

And the good? Quite a bit. When I got this job offer 6 months ago, it was when everything literally went to shit. I was upset with a somehow not so smart but stubborn tech lead and I desperately wanted to quit. Then I got the offer, which even after 2 interviews I still didn't recall it was a job ads for "technical lead". The manager thought I was not there yet but wanted to keep me as a senior dev. Then, this pandemic almost took away this job. My manager brought my case to the CEO and convinced him to keep me, by saying a lot of good things about me (which I think might not be true for the tech side...)

Throughout the whole 6 months I have been working remotely from home. WFH is not new to me, just this time it's very challenging as I was starting a new job. I have been struggling to keep my pace. All people in the team are nice. However if I don't reach out, no one would notice I need help. And with zero knowledge for this job, I got stuck with "I don't know what I don't know". This ranges from company culture, practice, new tech.. everything. So, that's how this 6 months feels long, but also short.

In our review meeting I think my manager finally realise this. Otherwise he would have gone for the "terminate employment" option. Taking away the "senior" title also takes away the expectation of "I should know XYZ", which I don't. I told him I am kinda happy with it because this sets me up for a more comfortable position to catch my breathe. He told me he noticed my improvement along the way. I told him yes I have been putting in efforts but just given the situation it's not as quick as anyone would expect. We're on the same page now.

So compared to my previous job, I got paid less. But in return, I get many more opportunities to expose myself to new tech. I get a good team who are respectful and open-minded. This is exactly what I was looking for and the drive for me to quit my previous job.

Not to mention I got a reality check. This is also an indicator for me starting to become an imposter, which is the thing I despise most in the industry. I don't want people to value me for how many years I have got in my career. I want to prove myself by what I am capable of. If I'm not there, I should and will get there.

And the last thing which I'm not very keen but it's 100% worth mentioning, is that my manager said I should aim for taking the "senior" role back. He said the salary raise is waiting when I get there. But... Let me just take my time.

Create value, not work
Can't believe I'm asked to do something that I feel is absolutely worthless
Okay, yes I know I need to get paid...
Let's just say I don't share the vision with whoever came up with these tasks

Still getting LinkedIn messages from recruiters who can't offer 1% I'm asking for.

when I got hired my boss wrote a cms in php that's 50,000 + lines of php code, without a single line of documentation. Yeah can you tell how my first few weeks went?

Anyone else run off tea & coffee ? 😜😝

Client: We are in a tight budget, but you'll get a lot of exposure
Me: NO! I have enough exposure on my camera.. 😉😜

My fellow dev (a younger guy) and I have been having a lot of disagreements with the lead dev (obviously a more experienced, older guy).
We can have arguments with him all day long, to explain and convince him that he's not that right, or not right at all.
Or we can keep silent and wait for shit to happen.
I'm already applying the stfu strategy myself... Because the other way round is exhausting.
At the same time, naturally, I'm looking for opportunities somewhere else. And, naturally, in those job ads, they state "X years of experience".
This further sets me off.
I'm sick of having an argument shut down because someone has X more years of experience, at a higher position, thinks he is better.
I am starting to hate people who boasts his years of experience instead of having the real knowledge and skills to create value.

Didn't use windows for over a decade but my refurbished x270 came with it and damn.. They f-ing raped the f outta it. Every action has a kinda lag, nothing is instant. I saw that on my dad's laptop too and thought it was the HD. And why the f can't I smash ctrl+alt+del at boot anymore? It just f-ing ignores. Took a lot of attempts before i found out how to boot from usb. I would not for any $$$ work on windows anymore. Thank God .Net core exists for linux and works great

I have started my first job as a web developer since February 1st. During the one month training period which is in progress, one of the training sessions was on Git and believe me Git is the most fascinating thing came to know me since I have joined computer science field. In love with it.

Time to have a little fun!

Programming is an ART
Programmers are also to be called artists

After years of coding, I still search google on how to concatenate strings in PHP and python.

Just learned that yesterday someone suggested putting the dev team on "workspace", when I was on leave.

My first question, "what the hell is workspace?"
"It's a remote environment..."
Okay I get it. Are you kidding me? Doing development on remote desktop?

My second question, "Why the hell did someone suggest that?"
"We have had issues with devs using MySQL but the target prod will be using PostgreSQL. That caused issues, inconsistencies... And we found some issues after deployment."

Okay so much for DB agnostic. I called it out that everyone now install PostgreSQL on local. Problem solved, hopefully.

Why we had MySQL in the first place? Yes DB agnostic is one of the reason. The other being I'm more familiar with MySQL so it's quicker to perform tasks (like "can you clone that environment for me" and "can you fix the data on XYZ"). But that's trivial.

Just some ridiculous suggestion that set me off.

Anyone knows a good source for Pc/laptop stickers?

i made a mock code that wouldn't close to prank my colleagues. this boy tried the x button and it didn't work, so he went for ctrl alt del and the pop up showed up to confirm and when pressing yes it still wouldn't close

Boss asks us to make sure out documents/instructions to clients are idiot-proof. I am not disagreeing this but usually clients are more idiotic than the most idiotic idiot you can ever imagine...

I decided to create this so that my head would not need to look down. I noticed when just putting laptop on my knees my head has to look down and it causes headaches when looking down. So this "desk" make me no need to look down.

The desk has wheels so you can relatively easily move away from bed.

So prototype is done, now this could be improved to look better. Idea for furniture makers - you could do this and sell :)

So I own a small business that is a licensee of about a few hundred other ones. I wanted a mail list from the corporate office and they wanted to charge me. (we already pay them hundreds if not thousands a month) So I wrote a python script to scrape their website and get the info for free. I love programming!

"You know computer programming?! Can you help me hack this game?" .........................

fun fact there are people developing new SaaS using ASP classic in 2015/2016...

All of a sudden the Macbook Pro power adapter was broken yesterday. Guess how much does it cost just to replace it?

Fuck you Apple. If you're gonna overprice, it make it durable and good quality dammit.

Look, i'm trying to do this 365 days of code and guess what? I forgot to push my local changes to the remote branch. I'm on my 43rd day streak and fuck it I have to start again.

I rebooted a device that everyone uses
It has not come online yet
It's been an hour, and counting...

What a good timing we're all working from home eh?

browsed LinkedIn articles, saw one about "good qualities of WordPress Developer", first bullet point is "following coding best practices" is it just me or that is one of the main things wrong with WP

Fine don't take my suggestion during refactoring old code. Keep the python code over 100 lines of code...we could have cut it in half, but whatever

!rant
Has anyone else noticed the bug when you scroll down on the profile of a person you can't see the avatar and the profile description anymore after scrolling up again?
@dfox

Today looking at code thinking to myself "I thought I fixed that code...shit that was in my dream!"

Why me?!

The only time I feel alive is when I'm coding

My first C++ app for a client was leaking so much memory that Windows kept crashing too.
So I had to press Ctrl-Alt-Del every few runs.
But the laptop running the app was enclosed in a box, so the keyboard was inaccessible.
My hack was to set up an Arduino, a push button outside the box and a wire. Asked the steward to push the button every three people trying the system. So the Arduino sends Ctrl-Alt-Del and the app was running again.

The client was happy :)

the happy moment when you get turned down by agencies over the phone, when they "don't think you are what they are looking for" although you have 4 years commercial experience and are 23 years old, by an agent that fancies the term API and WordPress... fml

Chavo del ocho pods :P

Boss: hey can you loop through all the entries in the data base (PHP) to make a menu of everything?

Me: me sure thing, shouldn't be a problem

10 min in playing with the database...and I remove the table...FUCK ME?!!??!!!

good thing we backed up the night before 😂😂

Playing with the GPIO pins on my raspberry pi, it's the small things that make us happy!

When I was in first year, I let my classmate copy my source code for our VB program in order for him to save the semester. We both agreed that he should change the variables, etc first before submitting the project.

GOOD NEWS: He literally changed the variables.
BAD NEWS: We had the same interface on our project.

It sometimes haunts me, until today.

Customers are so fucking stupid.

You're already on the page with a form with a "password" field and a fucking "save" button. WHY ARE YOU STILL ASKING ME HOW TO CHANGE YOUR FUCKING PASSWORD???

FUCKING STUPID CUSTOMER WHY DON'T YOUR FUCKING KILL YOURSELF???

FUCK!

You can type your code like an angry bitch as if you are gonna smash the fucking keyboard. I can live with that. But please don't knock on the desk every so often. That's just pointless and annoying.

buttons that need to be added on keyboards:
- Ctrl-C
- Ctrl-V
- Ctrl-ALT-Del

Which of the following can successfully lead a company for digital transformation?

A) CEO
B) CTO
C) Covid19

How do I convince the manager in IT to allow me to use a Linux computer?!

P L E A S E
Do not just teach them on how to program. Teach them on how to properly write a documentation and how to properly execute a project. Like, don't start coding directly. Teach how to plan a project properly especially on estimation. (lol)

Life is a constant battle of not knowing whether I want to quit programming forever, or if I just need 8 hours sleep.

Couldn't sleep last night so I woke up at 5 am and started coding. Do I have a problem guys?

My coding companion always looks at me in AWE!!!

This is probably not a popular comment, but here are the reasons I sometimes do not like working from home.

- if I don't get food, the kid starve
- if there's a meeting, the kid decides to play piano
- I have to watch delivered food that needs refrigerated to rot, while I really want to focus on that mudafukin bug
- if misus is not sleeping during the day, there is a 50% chance I smell something burnt in the house

Feel free to add to this list

How to deal with legacy code when you see such thing:

if function() == !!!false

1. Ctrl+A
2. Del
3. rm -rfv /

Is it gay to like Ed Sheerans music?

He’s one of the few new people with actual talent in my opinion.

Many people say men listening to Lana del Rey are gay so I don’t give a shit anyway.
But I’m still wondering.
How many of the guys without a life (like me) here listen to and actually enjoy listening to Ed Sheraan?

Gaaaaaaaaalway Girl, nananannananannaa gaaaaaalway Girl, nananannananananananananna
That shits is stuck in my head now..

Okay so my ticket got rejected because the on screen texts are not in the correct case (upper/lower). Totally fair because nowhere in the spec are those texts defined. As a developer I am also responsible for what "makes sense" for the user.

I'm just gonna say this next time I ask for a raise.

you know what really grinds my gears.. when agencies/companies post "PHP developer" positions and require ajax, js, jquery, angular and WordPress templates... its a back-end language ffs

Gundam

thank you @dfox! love the new avatar builder!

is it possible to link those avatars/expose an api to use on other sites?

When someone asks me a tecnical question in something i'm interested in:
"It works like this ... Oh i also should explain you how processors work ... Anyway, when a bufferoverflow arises ... And thats how crypthography works ... and so does blockchain work ... anf thats why bitcoin is causing way too many stress on the power grid."

Sticker on my safe

My LinkedIn is usually pretty quiet. Recently I've received quite a few messages from recruiters. Some of them put numbers in and I look at them, well, the market looks hot.

I like where I am but doesn't hurt to have a look around eh? So I went through some interviews and shit. No preps, not trying to please anyone, being completely honest. And out of the 3 I tried, 1 got to the final round.

Before the final round, the recruiter kept harassing me (it's their job really) about what my "bottom line" is. She said they really liked me but I'm not up to their expectation as a senior role. So they want to proceed with a non-senior role, then climb my ladder up. I told her, I don't give a shit about the title. The she said for that, the salary will be "adjusted" (reads reduced). I told her, look, I said I wouldn't bother if the offer is anything less than X amount of money. Then she said but this company would offer 10% bonus, which will add up , mind you, "close to" X. She said she wanted to know so we don't waste the director's time (as the final round is to meet the bloody director).

I said, if I need to disclose my bottom line before going to this, which is pretty much my negotiation, then let's call it off. No point wasting my time either.

The next day I received the last call from her. They fucked right off.

I know everyone here already knows. But let me experience be another example of how a plague recruiters is. I don't have any experience like this before but this is probably a fucking lowball case too.

Younger brother wanted to know how to work with users in Windows using cmd. I showed him a few things, told him PS is better but he can fiddle and just use net /? For the options he can use.

Go out for an hour. Come back and my user profile is gone. So the Padawan net user rangarr023 /del
My profile.

Time for some quickfix takeown commands haha.

Note to self. Let brother try things on his own pc, and next time use a vm.

when I'm done working..
me: should I get on wow?
me: No I'll check out devrant!

When I was younger my mom would tell me to clean the soda cans off my desk. Now my wife tells me to clean the beer cans off my desk. It nice to have a beer when late night programming :)

We have a bunch of legacy applications that runs on Windows only. I'm pretty much the only dev here who doesn't use a Windows machine.

In order to run those applications, I need use remote desktop to a Windows VM.

I use a Mac. And I use a lot of keyboard shortcuts. Case in point, CMD + L to go to the address bar in the browser.

This happens every time when I need to access those applications.

me: *remote desktop to the VM
me: "oh I need to get to the index/landing page"
me: *CMD + L
VM: "I'm locked now"

How fucking difficult is it to first figure out what the hell you want me to build, before assigning me a project?
But noo...make me implement a feature that will do a completely different thing in two weeks, and a completely different thing a week after that...fuck you Jeff

So I'm at this disco thing for family and all I can think about is being in my den coding away. Anyone else have this issue ? :D.

devRant reached the Philippines! Thank you @dfox and @trogus for this treat. Greatly appreciated!

ps. i named her devi (Hahaha)

have been working on a small project in the last couple of months. a few client meetings we are discussing a timeline feature for orders and assignments. the calendars (yeah a few on one screen cuz ... yeah) the client keeps complaining that they should look differently and in the same time says "Design is not important *designer-guy-he-works-with* can change it once we are done"
me - :/

side note: the calendars are tightly coupled with the js code powering them, so yeah ... looking forward to it
..

So everytime I get tired at work I always run 'composer update' so I have an excuse for doing nothing.

"Heyy get back to work!"
"I'm running composer update"
"Okay."

How many hours of actual productive work do you devs average a day? Honestly, I think I average about 2 hours of honest, good work in my 8 hour day. Between random meaningless meetings that could be emailed out or just daily distractions (coworkers chatting, my phone, etc). Am I alone in this?

...It relies on the BouncyCastle cryptography library instead of OpenSSL, yet replicates OpenSSL bugs to guarantee compatibility.

Yet another ticket comes in about a feature not working after we push another update. So in my meeting I bring up adding testing would reduce this. Yeah boss just wants me to fix this issue and just do manual tests....fml

Meanwhile on PPH... Spot the difference

If there was an anime Based on developers.

==Start===

Dev : here comes my favorite browser.
Mouse : No, not until I'm here.
Hand : whattttt? What's happening??
Mind : oh NO!! I why's Internet Explorer is loading?!?

Faster Mind : it's mouse, he's behind all this. Only he's powerful enough to pull off something like this.

Time : Developer-san SAVE me!!
IE : it's too late now, if you do anything it will just slow everything down!!! Hahahah

Dev : No it won't, don't ever underestimate a true developer. It's not over yet!!
*Some keyboard key combination

Time : *screams* developerrr-saaaan!!
Hand : wait, I know it, it's happening. We can still save Time-chan.

IE : WHAT!! No, it can't be!!

Dev : here comes Ctrl+Alt+Del. Be gone....

IE : Nooooooooooooo, this isn't happening, Aaaaaa *dead*

Hand : we did it!!!

I have a confession to make...I am a PHP developer with a Python problem!

Title earned: "Figlio del capo" - "The boss' son"
Earned by oversleping literally next door, because you forgot to set up an alarm.

Even though my presence wasn't really required today 🤷‍♂️

Fuck timesheet
It's bad enough someone fucking disturb you in the middle of great thoughts. What's worse, you're QUESTIONED where the fuck your time was spent. So you need to work out how much time you have been disturbed, and put in the fucking timesheet!
What a fucking joke! As if we have too much time for meaningful stuff.

That feeling when u light a cigar or sip coffee after a long coding session

"Where do I find the Ctrl key ?"
"What is TAB ?"
"CTRL-ALT-DEL. What is that? Where Do I find it?"

P.S. These people are my classmates and some others I know...

Scheduled an interview with a company regarding a frontend position, everything seemed perfect until I actually got on my way to head to their office.

They didn't have the address of their office anywhere, it wasn't listed on google maps, their own website didn't have any information on where their office is.

I tried calling them / emailing but they didn't respond until like 5 hours after the interview should have taken place.

So I didn't even get to the testing part.

So I removed all the Eclipse crap from the repository (.settings, .project, etc), add those to the .gitignore, commit and push. The next thing happened is my co-worker found that broken his copy of the code as on Eclipse. That's expected. I told him it's justified to get rid of IDE specific stuff from the repo. All he needed is to set up the project again on his Eclipse.
...
...
...
And he didn't know how to do it.
...
...
...
I helped him out. Wasted 15 min. It shouldn't take that long if I did not try to explain along the way.

I feel like fixing printer.

Trying to learn Angular and reactjs, reading up the tutorial or documentation...

Why the hell are there ten million more shit I need to look at first? (such as rxjs, Babel, webpack... and whatever the fuck they are)

Now am I supposed to master those ten million tools/libraries before I can proceed?

Of course there is no ten million but mentally it's no difference. I'm just fed up with this.

This is more of a story than a rant, but it has some rant-ey elements, so whetever...

I work for a pretty big company. Several departments, teams, many different markets...so it's a big orchestration. The programming department (aprox. 5% of all employees) is the core of the whole company, because everybody else uses software we've written...(a bit off topic, the point is there are a lot of people)

So today, I got assigned with a side-project. The project spec arrives, and as I read through it, I start realizing that upper-management whats me to build an app to fire people instead for them. The app is supposed to track salary, connect with Trello (for departments that use it) to track finished tasks, track sick days, work attendence...a lot of stuff, and at the end, if the situation requires, spit out a person that is of least benefit to the company, to be fired...

Now from coding perspective, this will be very interesting and fun to build, but from a moral standpoint, I'm a bit woried...simply because, indirectly, I'm firing those people. Because, the way I tune the the app(specifically the algorithm that weighs the value of an employee to the company) will cause certain people to get fired...

So I'm woried I'm gonna have a small breakdown when the app goes live and I see someone saying goodbye to theie colegues of something similar...heck, the app might even spit out my name some day(I should probably add a tiny if statement somewhere in there :) )
What do you guys think about this, from a moral standpoint? Would you be okay with building something like this?

(Sorry for the long post :/ )

Why some of you guys hate PHP? Sad. Please enlighten me. Haha

class Bug():

def __init__():
self._fix = random.randint(1, 6)

def fix():
if self.is_feature :
return Feature(self)
else:
if random.randint(1, 6) == self._fix:
Bug()
del self
else:
return Bug()

Last Friday night instead of partying, or seeing a movie I stayed home to clean up some code for a potential job interview. Good times! :D

I have a very annoying person in my team, who thinks he is the leader and is so full of himself that once he gets some idea he makes it final without listening to other's opinion, kinda anti-humble.
Today he was explaining that we are going to implement this feature and one of the member had a doubt which was legit so that guy started explaining it, but didn't really understood what the question was ( as he always does) he was heated up already as he was explaining the same thing again and again but it was nowhere near what the exact question was, by mistake I entered the conversation and tried to explain the question to him, he became so annoyed that he lost all his patient and shouted at me to shut up. Not only I felt bad but also found myself helpless in such situation i didn't know what to do, I was annoyed like anything, and now I think that I don't really know how to deal with annoying people such annoying and toxic people..

Just realised there is a -- button... Who would be that mean to use it anyway?

"My eyes hurt, but my hand keeps sketching." - Pablo del Valle

I went to meet a client with our CTO. In the meeting we discuss the implementation of SAML SSO. Their SSO guys asked whether they need to build 2 trusts for our application because we have 2 modules that use SSO. Both the CTO and I were not sure because we did not have any prior experience of integrating SAML SSO. To act professional, we couldn't say we were not sure. So the CTO said we needed two trusts. I immediately added "We may only need one. Let us do a bit of investigation and confirm."
After the meeting I did the investigation and found out we really only needed one. So I sent out an email to tell the client, cc the CTO. 1 minute later I got the email from the CTO "why tell them one when I said two?". When it's an immediate response with only 1 line, I know I'm in trouble. So I called him and was ready to explain to him. I couldn't. Later I found out the time I was calling him, he was talking about this with the CEO.
I thought maybe I can explain to him when he's available. The next morning as I came to work, the CEO asked me to come to his office. He closed the door, and told me the first line the CTO told him the day before was "I want him (me) fired." I was so shocked. Having been working with the CTO for quite a while, I was surprised he said that without even communicating with me. Did I do something that wrong that you don't even bother to tell me what's wrong? I was not fired because the CEO at least asked what happened. He also understood I was actually making a better technical decision. But well, guess I shouldn't be making a decision when I had no power to. And even I believed the client heard my "let me investigate first" comment, the CTO didn't. I still got an unofficial warning. For that whole day because of the stress, I don't remember getting anything done.
Fuck that acting like profession and smart when you are not. I'd go down the path of becoming professional and smart instead. And fuck metting with clients. I'm a dev don't fucking dare to talk to me and get me fired. If you wanna talk, talk to the big guys who don't make us look bad like I did.
If you ask me today I still believe I haven't done anything wrong there. So fuck everything.

When I'm on lunch I stop coding to watch other people code on youtube. Does anyone else have this problem?

Which Linux should I use for a dual boot for my PC? It shouldn't be too hard tobuse cause I'm an absolite Linux beginner.

When I was in first year I told my classmates that I can change their grades on our web portal. I changed their online grades then send them the screenshots. When all I did was changed their grade using Inspect Element. They were amazed.

PS. Didn't know that they're also sending the screenshots to their parents.

Spent my entire day writing jest tests...yeah I'm ready for bed

When you show fellow devs, Dev rant!.

The feeling is so good 😇.

Got that devRant Swag..!

Just got an email from HR asking everyone to put in leave for Christmas by TODAY.
Christmas is like a month away...
Before this email, there is no similar announcement whatsoever informing we have to put in leave by certain date.
It's lucky I checked my email (because I basically ignore it unless someone comes and tells me he's gonna send me something through it). It's luckier I got my Christmas plan sorted.
But... What if I'm still figuring out what to do for Christmas? Is this reasonable?

- My C++ only, Visual Studio 2017 needs to update.
-"sure why not"
- The update needs to download 1.84 GB.
- huh, maybe i can take advantage and uninstall the Node.js tools i don't need anymore (VS Code does better job)
- Now the update + uninstall needs 2.05GB to download.
- The update also contains ASP.NET crap, i don't even have installed the web tools or neither the .NET development platform!.
What?.

I'm in a team of 3 in a small to medium sized company (over 50 engineers). We all work as full stack engineers.. but I think the definition of full stack here is getting super bloated. Let me give u an example. My team hold a few production apps, and we just launched a new one. The whole team (the 3 of us) are fully responsible on it from planning, design, database model, api, frontend (a react page spa), an extra client. Ok, so all this seems normal to a full stack dev.

Now, we also handle provisioning infra in aws using terraform, doing deployments, building a CI/CD pipeline using jenkins, monitoring, writing tests, building an analytics dashboard.

Recently our tech writer also left, so now we are also handling writing feature releases.

Few days ago, we also had a meeting where they sort of discussed that the maintenance of the engineering shared services, e.g. jenkins servers, (and about 2-3 other services) will now be split between teams in a shared board, previously this was handled only be team leads, but now they want to delegate it down.

And ofcourse not to mention supporting the app itself and updating bug tickets with findings.

I feel like my daily responsiblities are becoming the job responsibilities of at least 3 jobs.

Is this what full stack engineering looks like in your company? Do u handle everything from app design, building, cloud, ops, analytics etc..

You had one job for the links, Github. You had one job.

them recruiters.. they keep grinding my gears to the maximum extent..

why do you message me that you have a position. to fill asking where we can have a chat and never reach back... you initiated the conversation in first place...

I replied within the hour, good god..

Pushed out a big update that included restructuring every directory. No one had access to the admin section. Yeah needless to say my boss was not happy since no one could do any work. Turned out during the process I made every admin page need the highest level of authorization which only the owner has. Easy fix but stressful day for sure

Never use a white theme on your IDE, because bugs are more attracted to light :p

Good guy Google.

Recently started a new job. Getting good feedback on my work. When really everything is off google :D

What if devs are required to take a licensure examination that expires every couple of years?

I fucking hate people who want to "perfect" his shit before push his code. Yes damn right. That means he doesn't fucking push his code until it's too late and his "perfect" shit will break everything. Not to mention the cry face he has when there are shitload of conflicts.

That feeling when client tells us one week before the deadline that it should configured for IE
FML

if (Tuesday) {
Fuck.My.Life
}

I use a DasKey Ultimate with blank keycaps at work and people always ask how the hell I can work with that board. I recently bought a Happy Hacking Pro for my tablet/laptop and I must ask the same question to those who daily drive these..

How the fuck do you deal with this retarded layout??

I used the dip switches to at least change the Del to BS but the physical key is stupid small, the control key position is just idiotic and no dedicated arrows? I use VIM and my work desktop is Linux and I come from a UNIX background. Still makes no sense.

</rant>

Our QA is acting like a customer, or even more... Pushy, demanding, some times rude... you name it

On the flip side, we have a real (cruel) world scenario in testing. Not too bad I think?

Does it bother you when a co-worker keeps talking on phone all day long and it's not work related? It bothers me.

docker y u no fucking start...

I was so happy that a programmer was one of the main charcters in the new Baywatch movie!!!

mvn ... -DskipTests=true

Shut up

Anyone have any experience (good or bad) getting work through Hired.com? I signed up today and am curious if I should expect anything from it

Testing out server settings to host rails application. Setup is a bitch compared to PHP but the work flow is amazing :D

Stuck at restarting Ubuntu? Spam Ctrl+Alt+Del real quick for 2-4 seconds

That's a good feeling

Backup s suck

Go home WebStorm. You are drunk.

Run a script, get a shit load of "Permission denied" error message... So I stop it by pressing Ctrl+C
Look at the script again there is this little line:
rm -rf $TMP_DIR/*

Look into the script again and again, $TMP_DIR is never defined...

While in chat lobby of *favorite game* tell others that fixing issues they bitch about is done by pressing Alt+F4, and then Alt+Ctrl+Del twice.

End of financial year in Australia
Purchased IntelliJ Ultimate
The cost will be tax deductible
Nice

How long (what % of day) are you fully focused (contentrated) on programming on average per day? How many hours is your work day? The longer the hours, the harder to stay focused we probably can agree. How are you doing in carreer - good or not, can tell as detailed as you might want to share.

Google or Spotify cause I can't do anything without music and I have ro google some errors and bugs

That moment when you turn your work computer off for the weekend :)

I hereby present my git inspired freshly baked meme.

import pyos as os

del(os.spyware)
os.start(bluescreen_enabled=False)