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Shared screen with a client over Skype. Showed them in Postman that their API wasn't working as expected. It was expecting a json. Instead it was giving error code 400 instead of 200.
Message :
"Error: No error. All OK"
I'll never forget the words of the client:
"Don't use all this fancy software, you don't know how to call APIs, open Internet Explorer or chrome and paste it in the bar. You'll see All OK, means all is okay."
*insert you dense mf meme here*20 -
manager: we need to design an admin system for a veterinary centre
dev: ok, this is it, remember your training
class Dog extends Animal {}13 -
I think I'm losing my mind working in the IT Department. 😂 Sometimes the questions are UNBELIEVABLE!
Client: Hi, my computer is not working.
Me: Hi, what's wrong with it?
Client: IDK. It won't work.
Me: Alright, what do you see on your screen?
Client: Nothing!
Me: Nothing as in there are no icons on your desktop or black screen?
Client: Oh, black screen.
Me: Is your monitor on? Do you see a light on the power-on button?
Client: Yes, it's white.
Me: Ok, good. What about your computer? Is it turned on?
Client: Well, I never turn off my computer so I assume it's on. I leave it as is when I leave the office then log-in in the morning when I come in.
**At this point I realized this person doesn't even lock the computer until it locks by itself after a while.
Me: Ok please turn on your computer by pressing the power button with a thin line on it. It should turn white.
Client: Ok but as I said I don't turn it off so why should I turn it on? Did it turn off by itself?
Me: That can happen.
Client: Ok....oh wait, it working! Thank you so much. Sorry if I was a little pain. I am a little stressed out this morning.
Me: No problem. Glad it worked. Have a good day.
*Hangs up confused. I mean really confused. Smh18 -
Client: "Hi, there's a problem with this link"
Me: "How odd, I'll take a look right away"
-- 19 minutes later --
Client: "Has this been fixed?"
Me: "I'm working on it currently"
Client: "OK please let us know when it's done"
Me: "I will do"
-- 2 minutes later --
Client: "Hi, is this done?"
Me: "I've just told you I will let you know as soon as it's done"
-- 5 minutes later --
Client: "Hi, sorry to hassle, but is this done yet?"
Me: *starts twitching*
Me: "I am working on it and I will let you know when it's done"
Client: "OK, well don't worry about it, it doesn't really matter"
Me: *explodes*10 -
Apple, which dumb fuck thought this would be good? ok new mouse, no more batteries it can be charged on a wire, cool you may think, until it actually needs charging and you discover that the charging port is on the bottom, making the mouse unusable whilst charging!!!
42 -
He: Hey could you please help me with my code?
Me: mhmm ok..
He: I've made this and this and this and this...aaand this and this and... Oh that is the problem. Thx for your help bro.
I'm proud to be a rubber duck.6 -
When linux crashes : "OK, maybe i did a mistake, the program i made was bad or something like that"
When windows crashes : "THE FUCK THIS OS IS BULLSHIT !"9 -
At customer site with my boss.
Boss: let's check this code which is not working
Me: ok (starting the debugging session)
I found this code, which was failing during the writing on disk for some reasons.
try
{
....
writer.writeline(some data);
....
}
catch(Exception ex)
{
....
}
Boss: ok it fails to write data but we need to, let's manage it like this:
try
{
....
writer.writeline(some data);
....
}
catch(Exception ex)
{
writer.writeline(some data);
....
}12 -
User: *Clicks on staging environment*
Giant Warning Dialog: YOU ARE CURRENTLY ENTERING THE STAGING ENVIRONMENT
Users: Ok
App: *Completely different colour, I’m talking bright unsightly yellow*
User: Ok
Giant Yellow and Red Flashing Banner at the Top of the Screen: WARNING YOU ARE CURRENTLY USING STAGING, THIS AREA IS FOR TESTING ONLY
User: The production environment sure is acting strange today. It’s a weird colour and I don’t recognize any of the data, it’s all just dummy filler data. I better create a ticket for the dev team to check o—….. no wait I’ll send an email CC everyone including the CEO and sound the alarm production is currently down and filled with giant warning messages.
Manager: OH MY GOD PRODUCTION IS DOWN DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS??? WHAT THE FUCK COULD THESE WARNING MESSAGES BE THAT’S ONLY SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN ON STAGING! THE CEO IS BREATHING DOWN MY NECK YOU NEED TO GET THIS FIXED IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!
Dev: …13 -
Thursday
PM: Hey why is A delayed? It should be top priority.
me: I just completed B, and C which were also top priority but got scheduled earlier, so I thought they..
PM: Agh, yes. But can you then finish A by the end of week? it would be very important!
me: No, I unfortunately don't think I'd have enough time by the end of wee..
PM: Why? This should be *the* top priority task. You should not start other tickets before A is done.
me: Exactly. But I *just* started. And. I. don't. have. enough. free. hours. left. this. week.
PM: But why?!
me: So just on Friday I have these 5 meetings here..
*shows calendar*
PM: Ok... OK! Then don't attend those before you are done. This should be more important.
me: Ugh, oh-key...are you sure?
PM: Yea, just let who invited you know that you can't attend and feel free to cc me in, I'll explain A is most important atm.
me: Ok, thanks, but that won't be necessary.
PM: What? Why?
me: You invited me to the Friday meetings.
Obviously I had to attend all 5 meetings today and A is pushed back to next week. :)10 -
So today , a company phoned me for a job I applied in Jobstreet. So the conversation goes like this.
Com " Do you have any experience in Android studio? "
Me : " Yes . I develop android application, it is compulsory to know actually."
Com :" ok... Do you have experience android SDK?"
Me : " I believe you are referring to the Android studio, yes."
Com :" do you have experience in Android programming"?
Me :" Yes. I do android application for both native and hybrid. As for hybrid, I use flutter."
Com :" Ok...but I was asking about android."
Me :*explaining what I just said *
Com: " you no understand! We need android programmer! Not native or flutter programmer!"
Me *explaining what native and hybrid is (in simple terms)
Com : " it is ok then.. our company prefer those who can develop android app , not native programmer or anything flutter programmer.
"
(Btw , I transcript how exactly that person talk to me)
My question to this person is.... WHAT THE F*** IS THIS? WANT AN ANDROID DEVELOPER BUT NOT NATIVE OR "FLUTTER"? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN ? IF ANDROID IS NOT WRITTEN IN NATIVE OR HYBRID THEN WHAT YOU EXPECT ME TO USE THEN? USING ASSEMBLY X64?14 -
What an awful day :(
The server where I host my 4 clients websites crashed.
Unable to reboot from the console.
I contact the support. 15 minutes later: "we'll look at this"
No news for 1 week despite my messages.
Then... 1st ticket escalation... 2nd ticket escalation... 3rd ticket escalation...
Answer: "Sorry, your server is down and cannot be repaired."
Fuck.
I ask "is there any way to get my data back?". Answer: "No, because we would shutdown the whole bay and all our clients would be impacted".
Fuck.
I subscribe to another server, at another provider.
I look at my backups... shit, the last one is 4 month ago!!
I restore the first website: OK
I restore the second website: OK
I restore the third website: My new server is "too recent" and not compatible. with this old Wordpress. Fuck! I'll look at this later...
I restore the fourth website: database is empty!! What??? I look at the SQL backup for this site... it failed...
I lost ALL my 4th client data!!!
I'm sooooo piece of crap!14 -
client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.
me: ok, how is it wrong?
client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.
me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.
client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.
me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?
clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.
repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.
client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?
me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.3 -
Me: *Installs travis*
Dev: oh what's travis?
Me: it's a continuous integration tool I wanna setup.
Dev: ... contin.... ?
Me: continuous integration, a tool that performs builds.
Dev: ah!, is it the new version of that deprecated tool we were using "client access"?
Me: ... no ... that's an authentication service that generates and stores oauth tokens. This is the continuous integration tool I told you about yesterday (and last week and the week before).
Dev: ... contin....
Me: ... con ........ continuous integration. It listens to branches on GitHub, downloads, builds, tests and then deploys the code.
Dev: ah ok ok, cool.
I would bet my monthly fucking salary he can not repeat what I said, tell me what oauth is, or explain what he's working on at the minute.
Jesus at this rate I'd bet my salary he can't tell me my name.7 -
Manager: I need you to come up with a quick, temporary solution.
Me: Ok...but it will be kind of hackish and ugly.
Manager: Yes that's completely understandable.
Me: So again you say this is just temporary right?
Manager: Yes we will come up with a permanent solution soon.
*that was over a year ago and the "temporary" solution is not-so-temporary it seems*10 -
!rant
A: "Hi, I'm A, I'm the CEO of X, we had this project I'd like you to do for me"
Me: "Hi, can I have more details about the project?"
A: "Ah yes, this is some kind of e-commerce for our start-up, we need you to do a web app, iOS, and Android app in 1 month"
Me: "OK we can do it in 2 month."
A: "OK we'll let you know our decision tomorrow"
(next month)
A: "Sorry we have to postpone this project"
(next 5 month)
A: "Hi! now I'm building this Y start-up and we need you to help us migrate our android app to web"
Me: (Looks feasible than his last project) "OK, I can do it"
A: "Can we meet tomorrow?"
Me: "OK"
(tomorrow)
Me: "Hello? where will we meet?"
Me: "?"
(next month)
A: "Hi! Sorry for not replying, can we meet this week for the Y project?"
Me: (...)7 -
Fuckin hell!!
Code works everywhere except at one client. Ok, I check logs & see something missing.. I go check the code that handles excel files.. try catch and do nothing.. great.. :/ ok let's log this shit to see what is not ok...
Insert logs, build, update, run.. now it freakin works o.O
11 -
I am officially my Manager's own personal google.
"What is the Wifi Password?"
"I can't print this, can you help?"
"How do I switch keyboard layout?"
"How do I turn on the computer?"
"How do I close the door of my office?"
Soon she's going to call me "Ok Google, <stupid question>"10 -
Ok something went wrong.
I don't know how this could happen.
🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔
I finished a side project.
How could this happen?
🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔
Ahh I know. It is absolutely useless.13 -
Finding the bug. The usual flow:
"Omg! I think it's a bug in the compiler"
10 minutes later:
"OK, it surely is a bug in the runtime"
20 minutes later:
"I'm certain this is a bug in the core library"
2 hours later:
"Oh, it's a bug in my code. Again, as usual, I'm the idiot. Stupid world."1 -
Boss: We need a new functionality to record company names for now.
Me: Ok. (This will be a quick one)
(few mins later)
Me: Ok, adding/editing/deleting company names.. done. I also added "date recorded" field, just in case we need it.
Boss: Ok, thanks.
(~20 mins later)
Boss: We also need a functionality for the users which has "this" permission to be able to "request" for a company registration. We need to add fields to record the contact person, email, phone, etc.. Once a "request" has been submitted, "this" person-in-charge has to get a notification on the dashboard. And the requesters, should get a notification that they have a pending request sent. Once the registration is done, the requester has to be notified.
Me: 👀6 -
Client: I need html code for this search bar *attaches png*
Me: Ok. I will send you the code. HTML is just for front end views.
Client: ok. I will place an order, you can send it over *places order*
Me: *copy 6 lines of code from bootsnipp*
*make some changes*
*submit to client*
Client: Thanks but when I press the search icon it does not display the relevant records.
Me: *smh*4 -
A few weeks ago at infosec lab in college
Me: so I wrote the RSA code but it's in python I hope that's ok (prof usually gets butthurt if he feels students know something more than him)
Prof: yeah, that's fine. Is it working?
Me: yeah, *shows him the code and then runs it* here
Prof: why is it generating such big ciphertext?
Me: because I'm using big prime numbers...?
Prof: why are you using big prime numbers? I asked you to use 11, 13 or 17
Me: but that's when we're solving and calculating this manually, over here we can supply proper prime numbers...
Prof: no this is not good, it shouldn't create such big ciphertext
Me: *what in the shitting hell?* Ok....but the plaintext is also kinda big (plaintext:"this is a msg")
Prof: still, ciphertext shows more characters!
Me: *yeah no fucking shit, this isn't some mono/poly-alphabetic algorithm* ok...but I do not control the length of the ciphertext...? I only supply the prime numbers and this is what it gives me...? Also the code is working fine, i don't think there's any issue with the code but you can check it if there are any logic errors...
Prof: *stares at the screen like it just smacked his mom's ass* fine
Me: *FML*12 -
FML
B: boss
M: me
B "Do this work (basically a document parser) "
A "Done using regexp"
B "The data coming in is different now"
A "ok, updated the regexp parts to account for this"
B "hmm, I you should rewrite it using library tool coworker made"
A "eeer ok, redone all the work now but it's a little hacky"
B "oh, library tool isn't flexible enough. Hmmm maybe use regexp?"
A - literally dead4 -
I have had this conversation well too often:
- (him/her) Do you mind helping me with this problem I have on my computer ?
- (me) Sure, what is it ?
- (him/her) *proceeds to explaining the problem*
- (me) Ok, I don't know about this particular thing, you should try googling it.
- (the pissed off version of him/her) Never mind, I'll find someone who's willing to help me.
Please stop taking that as me not caring about your problem.
Googling things is basically what I do all day as a developer.
You really should try it. That thing is actually pretty useful.5 -
* me listening to something while coding
* something goes wrong, trying to fix it..
Takes time and no solution.
- ok this is serious *put headphones down*4 -
Infinite loop...
Got a story assigned with no requirements listed this sprint. Since I finished the rest already I was like, lets be pro-active and see what it's about during the stand-up.
Me: Hi, I only have story X remaining, what's it about, there are no requirements listed in Jira?
SM: Yeah person Y is going to reach out to you with the reqs.
Me: Ok, when is Y going to reach out?
SM: Y doesn't have time now, will probably be in 2 weeks.
Me: Ok, so why is the story included in this sprint then?
SM: Because they want X implemented this sprint.
(Me wondering if the Scrum Master is familiar with infinite loops, thinking let's try this out)
Me: Ok, if X should be completed, can Y reach out to me with the requirements?
SM: Y doesn't have time now, will probably be in 2 weeks.
Me: Ok, why is the story included in this sprint then?
Stand-up lasted a lil' longer today... Hope the SM got the message not to assign stories without reqs or clear communication anymore.5 -
Client: "I did not receive the email that should be send after that event. Please fix."
Me:
* Checks code - ok
* Tests feature in locally - ok
* Tests feature in production - ok
* checks values in database - ok
* 2 hours wasted - ok
"Please help me dear CTO, idk what else I could check or how I should even respond to this."
CTO: "hmm, the clients account uses a adminstrative email address for testing. Let me just check if it is in the mailbox."
*checks* "Yeah, that's the email you're looking for, right?"
Me: *experiences relief, anger, blood lust and disappointment at the same time* "Could you please respond to the client for me, I need a break. Thanks"3 -
Today I inserted a single row into a table which triggered four triggers which inserted 5 rows each to different tables triggering 9 triggers inserting 3 rows which triggered more triggers... Nothing about this is ok.6
-
Today @ 4pm:
New dev: I need help with this issue, i've been stuck on it all day.
Me: ok let's look ...... ok, and did you try google this?
New dev: ... no
Me: ... why?
New dev: well this is clearly my issue, why would I google it? I only google for things I don't know
Me: ... ok ... we'll do you know what this bug is then?
New dev: haha ok, fair point, I'll give that a try. Thanks for the tip.
Seriously, should I be worried? I feel worried13 -
Dev: Hey, I need you to see something.
Client: ok
Dev: this is the models of those reports you need
Client: ok, wait, what is that number? This is wrong, we can't...
Dev: hey, calm down, this is not the production, it's just fake database!
Client: ah, ok.
(5 minutes of explantion)
Dev: so, what do you think?
Client: just one point, that data is very very wrong, we need to change this ASAP!7 -
I’m getting fucking tired of having this conversation:
Company “we need x”
Me “ok. In order to deliver x I need y”
Company “we can’t do that”
Me “ok. Then can I have y”
Company “nah ah”
Me “what about Q?”
Company “nope”
Me “okay. Well until you decide to provide me with the resourcing needed, this is getting deprioritized”
Company “wait this needs to be top of mind”
Me “okay. Provide me with y, and I’ll deprioritize other work”
Company “wait we also need that other work”
Me “you’re only getting one. Pick which one you want first”
Company “we’ll get back to you”
Me (muttering) “no you won’t”
Company “what?”
Me “what?”10 -
10am: meeting invite for 9:30pm my time.
*decline with comment: can’t attend*
9:40pm: email, “is anyone from engineering going to attend?”
*ignored*
10:05pm: email, ok the results of the call were X, Y and Z. But we’ve been asked to supply architecture diagrams (which don’t exist). Can we do this today?
*ignore*
10:45pm: email, guys this is urgent can we do this ASAP!
*ignore*
... welcome to the new world bitches, bite me6 -
Ok so the good news is. My vacation is in 2 weeks. And also just got Hired, and handed a big project with big money
The bad news is They need to refactor and document their legacy code from last dev partner. And this is the commit history
OH MY FUCKING GOD KILL ME NOW!
10 -
Absolute asshat level clownly clownshipness:
Manager: Why is this like this? 🤡
fullStackClown: ...Because you defined the feature like this.
Manager: Hmmmmm ok... what about this? Why is this like this? 🤡
fullStackClown: ...Because you defined the feature like this.
Manager: Hmmmmm ok... and then this thing here? Why is this like this? 🤡
fullStackClown: Well, I hate to tell you, but it's a huge surprise. Guess what?! BECAUSE YOU DEFINED THE FEATURE LIKE THIS!!!
Manager: ... 🤡
fullStackClown: Any other absolute asinine questions to ask me to continue breaking me from flow?
Manager: ... 🤡
fullStackClown: ...
To those interested, I believe there is an evolution of my devRant career in order... I'm passing the clown phase... and entering the full-on circus phase...8 -
I know this is not a dev joke, but I laughed so hard:
Father bought a lie detector that makes "beep" whenever somebody lies around it. The son comes home this afternoon.
Father ask him:
"So, you where at school today, right ?"
Son:"Yeah"
Detector:"Beep."
Son:"OK, OK, I was in a cinema"
Detector:"Beep."
Son:"Alright, I went for a beer with my friends."
Father:"What ?! At your age I would never touch alcohol!"
Detector: "Beep."
Mother laughs:"Ha ha ha, he really is your son!"
Detector: "Beep."1 -
Client: We are tired of having to go only to specific users to get things actioned, we need everyone to be given admin access so that we can get work done efficiently
Dev: Highly do not recommend that *outlines the likely consequences*.
Client: We don’t care, we DEMAND you do this. We’ll make sure everyone is careful.
Dev: Ok but I warned you. Please submit this request in writing.
Client: Ok, not sure why you would need that. I told you everything would be fine.
*Not even two days later*
Client: HELP!!! OUR DATA IS NOW COMPLETELY MESSED UP. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WOULD HAVE CAUSED THIS IT’S AS IF EVERYONE IS RANDOMLY DOING WHATEVER THEY WANT HOWEVER THEY WANT IN ORDER TO SUITE THEIR OWN NEEDS. IT MAKES NO SENSE HOW THIS HAS OCCURRED. I TOLD EVERYONE SPECIFICALLY TO NOT CAUSE ISSUES!!! WE NEED THIS FIXED A.S.A.P!!!!!!
Dev: …6 -
Interviewer: Here is the interview challenge. Tell me what the expected output is. You have 5 minutes.
** 100 line class with 4 async methods that contain if/thens nested 4 layers deep that call each other and log things to the console
Dev: Ok wow this is a bit of a maze to work through but I’ll try my best.
** 1 minute later of reading through the code
Interviewer: One minute has elapsed. There is now 4 minutes remaining.
Dev: Actually could you please not interject with time updates like that while I’m reading code? It makes the challenge harder than necessary. Just letting me know when the time is up would be fine.
Interviewer: Ok.
** ~2 minutes later trying to comb through this spaghetti mess
Interviewer: What do you think are you getting close to figuring it out?
Dev: …5 -
A: Can you tell me your opinion about this? Please, be honest.
Me: Ok, I think you could do it in a different way, but let's talk about what you did and see how to make it better...
A: I don't think so, I think this is the best way to do it.
Me: Oh, OK.
A: Why are you always complaining about my job?
Me: Well, you just asked me, and I work on this too, so I thought...
A: I don't think you're collaborative enough with me!
Me [walking away]: Oh, OK...6 -
php : dont leave me alone. i own the web. wtf?!!
python : really? i am the best 😎
js : such an idiot. you need me.
c : wtf is wrong with this kids?! go play outside.
.
.
.
asp.net : i'm here, anybody? no? ok. -
ok im seriously feeling evil.
windows users listen up:
is there any way i can make it so that when you press the semicolon button, the greek question mark comes up?
preferable an easy setting.
as you can tell, i really want to get this guy.13 -
A couple of years ago (2015)...
Me: If i'm going to develop iOS Apps i need a Mac, big screen, etc...
Boss: Ok...
A few days go by...
Boss: Ok, we've ordered a Mac already
Me: good.
Boss: It's that small one, will be ok...
Me: <Check mac models and wonder the implications of "small">
Boss: It's the cheapest one plus a 21 inch monitor. Keyboard and Mouse you already have...
Me: <incredulous> At least order a mac keyboard...
Time goes by... Boss comes to discuss something about the app... i change something and check on the emulator (yes no real devices...) and boss complains:
Boss: Incredible, this machine is so slow...
Me: <throws a shrug>
Conclusion... still developing on this machine... damn.. i can read a newspaper every now and then while waiting for the machine to comply...
Fml...4 -
An interview scene today:
Me (interviewer): Ok so tell me this.
Candidate: Umm, aaaa, blaa blaa blaa blaa, this and that.
Me: But I didn't ask you this.
Candidate: I don't know the answer to that but I know blaa blaa blaa blaa, this and that.
Me: It's okay if you don't know the answer to my questions, we will skip to the next question.
Candidate: Ok.
Me: Asks how "X" works and why should we use.
Candidate: Umm, aaaa, "X is a .." blaa blaa blaa blaa, this and that.
Me: Okay, I already know what "X" is, please tell me how it works and why would you use that.
Candidate: Umm I don't know, but I know X is blaa blaa blaa blaa, this and that.13 -
Client: I need a Website, You have "complete freedom" to choose an apt design, it should be professional and creative.
Designer: Ok.
~ Makes a top-notch Demo inspired from Apple Website ~
Client: It is not professional at all, you should use yellow color for header background. Matching the yellow in the logo, text should be in red. Use blue borders. "Make it more professional!"
Designer: Ok.
~ Client is King. Does exactly as client said ~
Client: Change the font of the website, use something like this (shows Monotype Corsiva). Reduce the image sizes to stamp size. Give a zoom effect to the headings. Increase the text font size to 16px.
Designer: Ok.
~ Client is King. Does exactly as client said ~
Client: Now it looks more professional!! You should hire me to your design department! And now, as I did the major design part you are only eligible for half the payment......
Designer: <<< what will you say? comment it below.. >>>10 -
I was told that my granny was having trouble signing into Facebook, so I go to help her and this is what happens.
Me: try and open Facebook.
Granny: *looks confused*
Granny: oh I know!
Granny: *opens up Gmail*
Me: *wtf is she doing?*
Granny: *opens an email from Facebook*
Granny: ok, I'm in Facebook.
Not sure whether to cringe or laugh 😅8 -
Working with clients Across the globe.
12 pm their time.
This page is down, can you get it back up.
3am my time
Ok. You're just lucky I don't sleep.2 -
Been working on this project for a month now. Everything is going fine, meetings are short and to the point. But then...
Client: "I'm leaving the project, this is the new person taking over."
Me: "Hello new client."
New client: "Burn it."
Me: "Uhm, what?"
New client: "Throw what you have away. It doesn't meet our new specifications. We're starting over."
Me: "Ok..." 🙃🔫3 -
OK, I've had enough of this bullshit!
Why the hell do some people pronounce 'Z' as 'C' !?!
FUCK THESE PEOPLE!
Now, you might ask yourself: "But how is this tech related?".
WELL... I was trying to get into a server and had someone spell the password for me; AND GUESS WHO MISSPELLED THE PASSWORD THREE FUCKING TIMES SO HE GOT LOCKED OUT OF THE FUCKING SERVER BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT!!!
FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK!!!!!18 -
Boss : Need very very little change on our project
Dev : Ok, what is the change?
Boss : This, this, this, this and just this one.
Dev : Really very very little.1 -
Backend: Sorry the fix we had isn't going to work. Turns out app is sending an "undelivered" status after you call the API where you claimed we had an issue. This is in fact the cause, please address it.
Me: We do not have an "undelivered" status anywhere in our codebase. We do not do this.
Backend: *CC product* turns out this issue is only affecting 0.1% of users, its very minimal. Lets push ahead with the release.
Product: Ok, lets go live.
Me: ... ... ... we all just gonna ignore that "undelivered" bullshit? ... ok ... very stable release, here we go.3 -
It's always fun to compare webdesign to car sales.
Client: We want a car with 2 doors.
We: Here is you car with 2 doors.
Client: Why does the car only have 2 doors? This is very limiting and i think 4 doors work way better.
We: Okay fine, here is a car with 4 doors.
Client: Could you please check on the brakes, i think there is something wrong but i don't know what.
We: Ok we checked the brakes and they are working ok. So here is you car with working brakes and 4 doors.
Client: Why didn't you check on the exhaust? The car is generating big black clouds now...
It's never enough7 -
End of year company party with 1200 employees. CEO is singing on stage with dinner buffet.
And I don't know what to do, with so many people. If i sit alone on a couch it is not ok. But sitting next to random strangers is also not ok. I hate such situations. How do you deal with this?15 -
setup my new private project with react, to dive deeper into react.
brain: hey, how about to read a little bit about vue vs. react vs. angular?
me: ok?
me: *reading some articles about the topic*
brain: hey, how about to play around with vue a little bit?
me: ok.
and this is me right now:
3 -
>On a call with Manager
>he's showing off some code
>oh cool he's finally assigning me some real work
PM: So yeah, just wanted to have you on a call to show you how easy it was to fix this.
Me: ... Oh... OK.
PM: yeah so this was completely broken. The last guy that was working on this didn't do a great job. Like seriously, what is this? Amateur hour? Hahaha
Me:... Haha... Yeah, right... 🫠
PM: anyways I figured I would go ahead and do this because it would take me 10 minutes to figure out. It would probably would have taken you 3 hours or something to figure out.
Me: ok... <why tf am on this call other than for you to shit on my skills?>
PM: anyways just wanted to walk you through what I did and show you how easy it was to fix.
Me: ok.10 -
Trying to learn some golang after a break.
Made http / https transparent proxy for personal project.
Mind: You need to add configuration file with domains you allow traffic and block everything else using list of regex.
Me: Ok I can do it, 4 hours later ok done
Mind: Why not make it differently by making list of url you can block and test this shit on fucking ads and stop using adblock that downloads content.
Me: ok that will be handy I can watch websites faster and drop traffic I don’t want to.
Funny fact, it works I broke analytics, logging, quantum shit fucks and even youtube plays ok.
Go is awesome for networking stuff lol.12 -
Real fact: 1999
IT: IT, how can I help?
MrB: I'm Butcheek. This program is shit, I can't even log-in!
IT: oh.. Ok Mr. Butcheek, let’s see if I can help...
MrB: of course you can: fix this shitty program and made me log in!
IT: I’ll try to do my best to assist you, can you...
MrB: I just want to log in! Can you speak my language? This new program is ridiculous, I wonder why you IT guys changed the old one, it was a mess but at least I could log in...
IT: I'm sorry you are experiencing this problem, but to assist you I need to know exactly what's the problem
MrB: I CANT LOG IN!!!
IT: ok, I understand this, but can you please provide some more information? Do you receive any particular error messages?
MrB: it says “wrong password” but it's not true!
IT: Ok, that's strange. Look, I'm resetting your password and then you will try again. At the first log in you will be asked to change it again, ok?
MrB: just be quick, I can't waste any more time on this!
IT: sure... Ok done. Please, can you try again? The password is “butcheek”
MrB: it asks for the username. What am I supposed to write here?
IT: “butcheek”
MrB: oh... Ok. And what's the password?
IT: “butcheek”
MrB:... No... Wait... Ok, “butcheek” is the password but what's the username?
IT: “butcheek”!
MrB: you don't understand, I have to put both username AND password!
IT: I know! “butcheek”! For both username AND password!
MrB: so I have to write “butcheek”-”butcheek”?
IT: yes, “butcheek”-”butcheek”!
MrB: so... “butcheek”...twice? Sounds weird... are you sure?
IT: yes I'm sure! However, you can choose either to write “butcheek” twice or “ASS” once, if you prefer...4 -
!rant
Breaking point in System Architecture. The point where you define it is ok for the system to break if you user doesn't meets the expected threshold of intellect.
In plain words, you say "F**K it, if someone is that stupid, let the system go down"
They don't teach this in college.9 -
This is one from i was an intern
Me: writes some logic, using
for(String s : something)
Senior: holds a 30 minute talk on why short loops are bad and we should always use the traditional one
Me: ok retard
Me: havent used traditional loops ever since then8 -
This fucking call is still going, and this asshat who should know how to do SIMPLE FUCKING COMMANDS LIKE MV AND CP is having a hell of a time and I'm about ready to throw my arm at him because I ok hurt like hell and hopefully knock some sense into his brain.4
-
OK I live in lithuania, small country, my grandparents live in silute, super small city, the internet is shit here, I need to use my mobile data to program, next day I wake up to this graph explaining me how I lost all of my fucking data😤
41 -
New dev: I need help with this issue. I've been debugging it all day.
*2 hours later*
Me: spent a while debugging it, eventually came across a stack overflow post that says you can't do that.
New dev: oh I saw that earlier, didn't think it applied.
Me: ... why ... accepted answer "It is not possible to do this, this way".
New dev: hhhmm, ok
... get the fuck out of this building immediately.3 -
Me: "ok for the following changes you must pay the following charge because it's not in the scope"
Customer: "bUt tHiS Is Not whAt I wanT, wOnT pAY thE ResT iF yoU arE nOt DoiN It blablabla"
Marketing: "please do it for him"
Fuck me.1 -
Email: "We just launched our new web interface! It's so much easier to use, and should make life a lot easier for our users."
Me: Oh good this thing has been unusable since I've been working here. How do I get on the new version? Better read on...
"Download this PDF for more information!"
Erm... ok.
In the (20 page) PDF: "Email this address@example.com to get the URL!"
ffs ok
email: "Thank you for emailing us, you username is benoliver999, your password is 'passow0rd' and the url is in this attached PDF
god help me
(50 page) PDF: "Remember to disable pop up blocker, ad-block and to install Flash"
Today I have started building my own version of this product so we can stop using these idiots.
As an aside, the username 'admin' also had a password of 'passow0rd'...4 -
*during project development, we use a library as core of tye app*
Manager: We need to add feature X.
Me: The library developer announced that this feature is not supported.
Manager: why is that?
Me: *giving some tech explanation*
Manager: ok, but still we need it urgently, we told the client we already have it.
Just a simple day on my work9 -
That moment you're 8 beers deep into your program at 4am, so focused and then realized you've been crossing your legs doing the pee pee dance in your chair so you don't piss yourself because your bladder is full and you just say "ok bathroom break after I finish this method, then one more beer."4
-
Ok, who among you crazy people came up with this idea? https://userinyerface.com
That website is the UX equivalent of murder 1. It took skill, planning and a very special brand of crazy to create.10 -
User: Your web app hasn't been working all day.
Me: Uh ok...this is the first I heard of it. Whats the problem? Are you getting an error message with any details? Can you send a screenshot so I can look into it?
User: Yeah it was an error message.
...
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃6 -
Things I hear when people find out, that i cant see red and green well...
99% WHAT COLOR IS THIS PEN?
1% Oh, well, ok...
FFS ppl ITS ANNOYING!9 -
I’m sick of these kinds of error messages. “Could not be downloaded at this time.” Ok...but why? Are the stars out of alignment? Did the CEO of the company decide that every other Tuesday at noon, you can’t download this app?
How hard is it to give a reason in the error message??
3 -
User: Hey, we got a big issue with one of your tools. One of your pages isn't loading.
Me: Ok, so when did this happen?
User: We don't know? Its been like that for a long time though, so we thought it was normal 😃
Me: ....ok. So do you know what data is supposed to appear?
User: Uhhh we're not sure as well. Since, you know, its been like that for a while.
Just great 😑4 -
I hate when shit that is irrelevant and has 0 value makes it to news sites.
For example, TechCrunch today: Former FBI Director James Come changes Twitter handle". Ok? I give literally 0 fucks because guess what: HIM CHANGING HIS FUCKING TWITTER HANDLE DOESN'T MEAN SHIT. THIS ISN'T FUCKING NEWS. IT'S FUCKING GOSSIP.1 -
Manager: I want you to make an architecture diagram for this system
Me, not sure what diagram but ok asking my senior then
Senior: You know those diagrams you learned in uni? Yeah, do whichever you think is suitable
Me, left to my own devices, makes a shitty use case and sequence diagram
Manager: We don't actually do diagrams like yours here. But I like it so lets stick with it.
😱 Ok. Cool.5 -
OMFG I don't even know where to start..
Probably should start with last week (as this is the first time I had to deal with this problem directly)..
Also please note that all packages, procedure/function names, tables etc have fictional names, so every similarity between this story and reality is just a coincidence!!
Here it goes..
Lat week we implemented a new feature for the customer on production, everything was working fine.. After a day or two, the customer notices the audit logs are not complete aka missing user_id or have the wrong user_id inserted.
Hm.. ok.. I check logs (disk + database).. WTF, parameters are being sent in as they should, meaning they are there, so no idea what is with the missing ids.
OK, logs look fine, but I notice user_id have some weird values (I already memorized most frequent users and their ids). So I go check what is happening in the code, as the procedures/functions are called ok.
Wow, boy was I surprised.. many many times..
In the code, we actually check for user in this apps db or in case of using SSO (which we were) in the main db schema..
The user gets returned & logged ok, but that is it. Used only for authentication. When sending stuff to the db to log, old user Id is used, meaning that ofc userid was missing or wrong.
Anyhow, I fix that crap, take care of some other audit logs, so that proper user id was sent in. Test locally, cool. Works. Update customer's test servers. Works. Cool..
I still notice something off.. even though I fixed the audit_dbtable_2, audit_dbtable_1 still doesn't show proper user ids.. This was last week. I left it as is, as I had more urgent tasks waiting for me..
Anyhow, now it came the time for this fuckup to be fixed. Ok, I think to myself I can do this with a bit more hacking, but it leaves the original database and all other apps as is, so they won't break.
I crate another pck for api alone copy the calls, add user_id as param and from that on, I call other standard functions like usual, just leave out the user_id I am now explicitly sending with every call.
Ok this might work.
I prepare package, add user_id param to the calls.. great, time to test this code and my knowledge..
I made changes for api to incude the current user id (+ log it in the disk logs + audit_dbtable_1), test it, and check db..
Disk logs fine, debugging fine (user_id has proper value) but audit_dbtable_1 still userid = 0.
WTF?! I go check the code, where I forgot to include user id.. noup, it's all there. OK, I go check the logging, maybe I fucked up some parameters on db level. Nope, user is there in the friggin description ON THE SAME FUCKING TABLE!!
Just not in the column user_id...
WTF..Ok, cig break to let me think..
I come back and check the original auditing procedure on the db.. It is usually used/called with null as the user id. OK, I have replaced those with actual user ids I sent in the procedures/functions. Recheck every call!! TWICE!! Great.. no fuckups. Let's test it again!
OFC nothing changes, value in the db is still 0. WTF?! HOW!?
So I open the auditing pck, to look the insides of that bloody procedure.. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
Instead of logging the p_user_sth_sth that is sent to that procedure, it just inserts the variable declared in the main package..
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Did the 'new guy' made changes to this because he couldn't figure out what is wrong?! Nope, not him. I asked the CEO if he knows anything.. Noup.. I checked all customers dbs (different customers).. ALL HAD THIS HARDOCED IN!!! FORM THE FREAKING YEAR 2016!!! O.o
Unfuckin believable.. How did this ever work?!
Looks like at the begining, someone tried to implement this, but gave up mid implementation.. Decided it is enough to log current user id into BLABLA variable on some pck..
Which might have been ok 10+ years ago, but not today, not when you use connection pooling.. FFS!!
So yeah, I found easter eggs from years ago.. Almost went crazy when trying to figure out where I fucked this up. It was such a plan, simple, straight-forward solution to auditing..
If only the original procedure was working as it should.. bloddy hell!!8 -
One of the many problems with AWS free tier is the obfuscation of expenditure by design. This is NOT OK.
17 -
Ok seriously what the actual fuck is this even supposed to be
Narnia has have better bandwidth than this
16 -
Me: We have to update the platform, but before doing this we should backup it.
Client: Ok, but a backup is not enough. What if we were not able to revert to the previous version? We should perform a manual copy.
Me: ... 🤦🏻♂️1 -
Boss: -We're firing one of our freelancers and you are taking over one of his projects.
Me: -OK, what is it?
Boss: Old POS project written in Java.
Me: -But I'm C# developer. I haven't touched Java in years!
Boss: -You'll manage...
FML I've managed to finish and fully refactor this piece of shit project.
11 -
Hey I see that you're trying to access your account. That sucks, we don't have your phone number in our records. But that's Ok because we're going to send you the confirmation letter by snail mail...
Fucking What?
I mean, I guess that's secure... but seriously though 5-10 days until I can see what is happening with my taxes? This is insanity
-
(Joke || Rant)
This guy came with this joke.
Ok, funny.
Then months later you realise he pushed this tweaked prototype to master, and now this code is shipped in production and it actually prints some idiotic sentence about flat earth on console output.
Ok, idiot.
It's not my project, but sometimes I'm wondering what people have in their minds when using version control and ship crap...
-
[Typical dump Client]
After finishing an Android app, the app was amazing and the client is happy.
Client: I think we should write iOS version.
Me: ok, but this will take a time to code in different language with those native features..
Client: Can we just "convert" it to iOS, it should be easy no?4 -
Paraphrased with imaginary ending:
Me: Ok so this X will never be more than Y items and not more than one pages?
Person: Yes. it won't be more than Y items and never more than one page.
Me: If this is always Y items or less and not more than one page, I can hammer this out quick then. If it is more than that it will take much longer to complete.
Person: Awesome!!!
-later-
Person: OK here's the template for Y x10 items and multiple pages.
Me: Oh I'm sorry, we're going to have to stop working on this. I thought you actually gave a fuck about this 'important' project and that you had deadlines you cared about, but apparently not enough to participate in this conversation with any level of intellectual honesty. Please fuck off now while I go work on more productive tasks....4 -
Manager: we need to design an admin system for a veterinary centre
Dev: ok, this is it, remember your training
namespace Vetcentre{
class Dog : Animal {
}
}1 -
Me and my manager throughout 2020
January:
Me: So umm, we can release the new app version
Manager: No we promised client X app first go build that
Me: umm, ok.
February:
Me: so the app is done, but client hasn't setup area L so there is no data there
Manager: ok, I'll have them setup area L soon ™️
March:
Manager: area L is too much work to setup, use workaround L thats way better
Me: ok ...
April:
Manager: client is nitpicking on design and layout please make this mess even greater
Me: ok, anything else?
Manager: yeah also start on app for client Z!
Me: and our app update?
Manager: later son! Risk tooo muchos!
May:
Me: the mess for client X is done, and first version for client Z is also ready for test
Manager: ok good work, here is a new set of things to mess up
Me: but... Seriously, wtf?!
Manager: clients want quality
Me: ah ok, not nitpicking, cool
June:
Manager: client X went MIA, but client Z will send you a weekly list of things they don't understand and want to change
Me: ah great, truly worth postponing my February holiday to release nothing
July:
Manager: so, how we doing on all them changes
Me: well, I am a loyal custodian with alot of pleasure in my work!
Manager: ah ok good!
Me: any news from client X??
Manager: who
Me: mkay ... n.v.m
August:
Me: can we release yet?
Manager: change, we can!!!
Me: are you Obama?
Manager: ambitions
Me: fuck you pay me
September:
Me: I am confident we can now release all 3 apps as promised mid september
Manager: great!! Good work
Also manager: you know that immensely complex area within the app? That needs a complete rewrite because we have bad ux there!!!
Me: ok... To which requirements?
Manager: good ux, we must have standards
Me: but the layout of page R id generic as page F so then we need to align there as well
Manager: go! Do!
Me: ok I'll come up with my own requirements then
Manager: we also need documentation
Me: really!!!! How clever of you to fire colleagues T & P and we now have zero workforce for that
Manager: things will get better someday
Me: ah, great! Put it on my calendar
October:
Me: I need a sabbatical biatch
Manager: a what?4 -
Tiny little line of random JS code.
"No Comments in the code"
Me: I think this is not required, let me remove it.
"Deletes the line..."
*Entire App Breaks*
Me: OK, It must be important.
"Cmd + Z"
*Plot twist: The APP is still broken*
Guess who just needs to stay up late in office.1 -
Boss: "wow how it happened it's already November? Well, here is this project that we supposed to end on October that I didn't mentioned yet, sorry I was sure last month was September. Don't make any plans for next few weekends, ok?"6
-
Yesterday
Boss: Can you export the foo data and send it to me?
Me: Sure
Me (later): Ok, just shared foo.csv with you. It should have everything you need, just let me know if you need the bar data.
Boss: OK, thanks.
Today
Boss: Did you get the foo data exported?
Me: Yes, I shared that with you yesterday
Boss: What did you name it?
This is all in a chat, by the way, not in person. Scrolling for 1.5 seconds reveals all the relevant information.
How do I respond in a way that is not sarcastic and does not belittle my boss? I'm not sure it's even possible.2 -
Does anyone else get intensely frustrated and stressed trying to explain something to someone who repeatedly fails to understand?
"ok so you click decrypt password and then you give it your private key"
"ok I clicked on download rdp file"
"no you want decrypt password"
"and then it will download a file"
"no you need to give it a file"
"which file?"
"THE FUCKING FILE IT SAYS RIGHT THERE STEVE"
Keep in mind this is the fifth time I've walked him through this12 -
Ok this is freaking creepy. I searched for information about login systems on other websites for some time. Not once did I touch Facebook. Then Facebook show me targeted ads when I hoped on 30 minutes later. How the heck does Facebook get that data in the first place? I'm starting to get pissed that my data is just handed out to everyone, even by search engines.
22 -
Me: ok, time to archive this shit and publish :D
Xcode: ok. Archiving started
10min later archiving done
Publishing to app store connect,
5 min later, sorry, we can't publish this cuz u haven't changed the build number from 2 to 3¯\ _(ツ)_/¯
Me:😠ok, whatevs, let's do this, archive
Xcode: ok, archiving started
10min later, archiving done!
Me: click next to upload to app store connect, 5 min later...
XCODE: SORRY, U CAN ONLY PUBLISH ON XCODE GM'S TO APPSTORE CONECT
Me:😤 OMG, OK 3rd time is the charm...
So now xcode has started archiving, I hope nothing happens again 😬6 -
User: This web page form is too hard to use and is prone to have wrong data filled out.
Me: Uh...ok. Here is a redesign. You literally fill out one text field and a date picker.
User: Oh this is great, thanks.
*checks the database and the very first entry they created had the wrong date.*
Fuck me.6 -
Ok I completely lost it... Been in a prod issue all week and basically just said the root cause is bc this team is blind....
Use the forest and trees analogy first but they still didn't seem to see it so I sent them this.
And then the chat went silent....
2 -
Why red herring is important between discussions.
My daughter: Papa! See this is my name and this is the name of my Sir.
I: No my little princess!! This is our surname.
My daughter: oh ok!! Who is that?
I: Ummm... (No answer) Wow!! You're wearing a beautiful dress today...13 -
Ok i post it a bit late but what the hell.
This is my monster now! I now shall conquer the world!
MSI GL62 7RD
with that configuration:
CPU: i5 7300HQ
RAM: 8GB DDR4
GPU: gtx1050
HDD: WB blue (small laptop one) 1TB
Ok i already had that configuration for a while... but it was sloooowwwww D:
That is why for my birthday/chrismas i bought myself additional 8GB of ram and a tiny nvme ssd to make everything 1000x faster! 😎
1 ++ for a person who reads how big the ssd is...
11 -
porra; caralho; toma no cu.
this fucking shit xamarin. I wish the ass who programed the xamarin vs2017 integration to go fuck off.
srsly, I just want to fucking code this fucking fucker VS2017 keep shitting all around me
first I was gonna install it. didn't install because no memory left. fair enough, my fault there.
cleaned 35 gbs.
finish installing VS, with xamarin. FIRST GOD DAMN TIME I create fucking project, 2 fucking errors and 3 warnings. I DIDN'T EVEN TYPE A COMMA.
ok, tried fucking it. it seems to be conflict between version of Android and xamarin forms. fucker you it shouldn't be like this. anyway.
tried downloading the updated Android version.
it failed at 80%! what error you ask? missing fucking space ok, fuck that thing is huge, ok, my fault again. uninstalled all programs I was not using, all projects I'm not current working on. more fucking 30GB free. tried again. ANDROID IS TOO FUVKING HUGE CAN'T INSTALL IN 30GB!!!
Ok. instead of updating android, gonna downgrade xamarin, can't downgrade. ok gonna remove and install an early version.
unistalled. CAN'T FIND XAMARIN DLLS.
I was like, fuck this project, gonna start a new one. ok, all seems fine, for some weird reason. Except no. I try adding a new page, ops, APPARENTLY VS2017 CAN'T LOAD A GODDAMN .XAML
Ok, I can create a .cs page. done, except now I get a fucking timeout error. fuck.
I search the internet for a workaround, see a guy saying I could manually add a .xaml + .cs by creating this files and then adding them to the proj file.
did it. I go again, everything seems fine. but now I can't freaking reference the damn page.
I'm fucking losing my mind here.
In the mean time I have to turn in this project at the end of the week AND I CAN'T FUCKING OPEN THE GOD DAMN FREKING PROJECT PROPERLY!
FUCK. MY. LIFE.
FUCK XAMARIM AS WELL
FUCK VISUAL STUDIO
FUCK MICROSOFT
FUCK THAT DAMN SSD
FUCK THAT BOSS WHO THINK THAT A 128GB SSD IS ENOUGH
FUCK IT ALL...15 -
Me: *builds new state machine* Ok this makes adding new instance states easier, should also make enemy AI a million times easier!
Me after trying to do enemy AI: FUCKING CUNT! This system is a piece of fucking shit for AI, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, etc
I think this will be harder than expected bois!
*Eye twitches*2 -
Ok, this is my first post here...and I came here to rant - I had heard about this place, but I guess I just hadn't had a bad enough day...until today...the day I found my ec2 instance was playing hide and seek with me. I just found out that my aws billing dashboard is going to swoosh 2000rs (30$) out of my wallet. Imagine ranting about this to a layperson... ok anyway, I had taken a t2-medium (my first one ever) for a hackathon and I was just playing with the regions I guess and it somehow ended up in the ohio region. I had given IAM access to some of my teammates and they were using it. We were supposed to shutdown the instance after 1 day. The next day I check the dashboard (for N.Virginia - which is the default) and I see no running instances. I thought ok my teammates must've turned it off and I left it at that. A month after the hackathon, I login today and I have this jaw-dropping moment. I now have to pay 30$ for nothing!
2 -
Built a C#/.NET application with support for a serial device. Tested it on systems A, B, C initially, all Windows system, same .NET version, same targeting, same build tool version, same initial connection configuration etc, etc.
Testing - works on A and C, B nopes.
...
OK, let's check the source, is there something about B that makes it impossible to execute that bit? - No, there is not, you checked that already, stop poking around, it definitively should work on B.
...
OK, maybe admin privileges, there is I/O involved, didn't need that on A and C, but who knows - nope, doesn't work on B.
...
OK, maybe something wrong with the connection settings? First try at reinstalling driver - but no, it doesn't work on B.
...
OK let's try with another device - more/less devices on B. Other USB ports. No. Still does not work on B.
...
OK, this is stupid, but, is the cabling alright? It is, of course it is, stupid - but it still does not work on B.
...
OK, at that point I'm just gonna ask a colleague, GrumpySoftwareDev whether he has any clue why it doesn't work on B. GrumpySoftwareDev knows nothing, but discovers that one of his applications doesn't work on Windows 10. You know nothing, Jon Snow, but it doesn't work on B.
...
OK, now I'm just going to ask another colleague TheLastOfHisKind who handed B down to me somewhat bluntly if he ever experienced problems when working with B and its serial configuration. TheLastOfHisKind tells me he does not and kindly offers me some input on the situation. Still no progress to get it working on B but he hinted he might have fucked up B's driver. I already reinstalled the driver but didn't reboot, which comes after reinstall.
...
OK, I'm just gonna remove and re-install the driver, then restart. Hu! Now the UI is gone but another serial device reacted on a general call. Not fully working on B but we're getting there.
...
OK, I don't know, I'm getting frustrated, let's borrow another system D - which has roughly the same configuration as B - from my colleague StrongCurrentGuy. StrongCurrentGuy borrows me his system and cautions me not to break it. I install the driver, plug the device and copy the application from B. It just works on D. Not on B though.
...
OK, you know what. I'm done. For shits and giggles I'm gonna remove that driver again, reinstall it and restart, maybe it'll magically work afterwar- WHAT THE HELL, I JUST OPENED IT AFTER RESTARTING, IT JUST WORKS - ON B!
... seriously, what the fuck. But yeah, at least it works now.4 -
Ok it is official I need a life. I mean a real life with those things called "friends", "parties" etc. etc.
I realized this while looking at some code I, loudly, said "Wow today's is your birthday you're exactly two months old!".
I let you guess reaction of my colleagues.10 -
Me showing boss a draft document
Me: Ok so this is a placeholder list of statuses, I have to call the client to find out what statuses should go here.
Boss: Hold on lemme read it. *Reads*. But this list of statuses is incomplete, you should call the client to find out what statuses we should add.
Me: ಠ_ಠ5 -
It's 5pm whooooo!
Let's quickly bash this last query out for the day - seeing as I should have finished an hour ago anyway.
Spin up VM, it's been inactive for 6 months.... yay, login... "incorrect password" tries again "incorrect password", did I forgot it... no it's been the same for years,
ok let's try again slowly,
ok logged in,
jump into mysql,
write up this query,
join this table, join that table, join this other table, and this other, and this one, hahaha, and this one over here... sweet it's been months and I still no my way around this maze!
And now for the moment of truth... run!
.
.
.
.
.
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And bam, black screen, loading spinner, "Windows is updating"
NOoOooOooOooo!
Fuck it I'm out!8 -
Me: I don't understand, why is this not working?
After a few hours of debugging and continuous re-starting the server and most important praying to GOD
Me: F**k! how is this working? Ok let's not touch it, it's working -
OK so... project I've been working on! It's a virtual processor that runs in the browser coded in JavaScript. OK so I know, I know, you must be thinking, "this is crazy!" "Why would she do this?!?!" and I understand that.
The idea of Tangible is is to see if I can get any tangible performance over JavaScript. I've posted a poorly drawn diagram below showing how tangible works.
The goal for tangible is to not use html, javascript, or CSS. Instead, you would use, say for instance, c++ and write your web page in that, then you compile it using my clang plugins and out pops your bytecode for Tangible. No more CSS, no more html, and no more javascript. Instead everything from a textbox to a video on your web page is an object, each object can be placed into a container, each container follows specific flag rules like: centerHorizontal or centerVertical.
Added to all of this you get the optimization of the llvm optimizer.
18 -
In my work we have this big client who is really concerned about security.
We can't even access the DB from our machine, so they gave us some shitty, heavy as hell, laptops. It's ok, i don't like the ideia but ok.
But in this laptop have a super fucked up windows 7 that have almost everything blocked, we can't even install the fucking sdk(java) to work without asking the company's "IT guy".
On top of that, to access the DB from outside this client we need a VPN, it's ok, I understand, but the fucking VPN drop connection every 5 fucking minutes.
Yesterday I spent fucking 6 hours to run 2 ten minutes queries that we needed to make a report for this fuckers.
I sit in front of a big window, I really felt the will to throw their laptop right through it.3 -
OK - Time to settle this for me. What is up with PHP? Everyone seems to detest it, however when I talk about NodeJs or Python, people say that they are inefficient. So is PHP an efficient mess?9
-
I legit had an interview once where he said
"Ok next question. Static variables...are they good or are they bad"
The funny thing is I can totally relate to working with someone who thinks static variables are bad but it's sad to see this is how far we have fallen.7 -
Ok, I normally just play an FPS just to get it out of my system.
Just played titanfall 2 multiplayer for the first time, getting matched (And winning against) level; 40's is the best feeling you can imagine!
PS. Ive never sweat this much in my life!2 -
Spent the last half hour helping my wife over text trying to "fix" FireFox. She said any site she tries to go to just "spins and spins". Chrome, Edge, all work fine. Tried the trusty 'ipconfig /flushdns'.
Me: "Open the command line, by selecting Start and start typing cmd. You'll see the Command Prompt application. Right click and run it as an administrator"
<15 seconds later>
Her: "Do I left click or right click to run as adminstrator?"
Me: "Left click. You'll get a pop message, just click yes"
<about 10 seconds later>
Her: "This thing popped up, what do I do?"
Me: "Click yes"
<more waiting>
Her: "Says something about making changes to my computer, what do I do?"
Me: "Click yes"
Her: "Is it going to make changes? Are you sure I should click yes?"
Me: "YES!!"
Her: "Don't yell at me. You're supposed to know how to do this, not me. What do I do now?"
Me: "Type ipconfig /flushdns"
Her: "OK, is this right.."
<sends a screenshot of 'Type ipconfig/flushdns'>
Me: "No, just ipconfig /flushdns"
Her: "OK, is this right.."
<sends a screenshot of 'ipconfig/flushdns'>
Me: "Yep, just put a space between ipconfig /flushdns and press enter"
Her: "Is this right.."
<sends a screenshot of ' ipconfig/flushdns'>
Me: "No, the space goes between ipconfig /flushdns, not before."
Her: "You're not making yourself clear. OK, now what?"
Me: "Press enter"
Her: "It didn't do anything."
Me: "Did you press enter?"
<more waiting>
Her: "OK, it's done. Now what?"
Me: "Restart FireFox"
Her: "Still not working. Just spins and spins."
<not 100% sure restarted FireFox>
Me: "I'll look at it when I get home."17 -
Customer Service: “I apologize for the delay in entering your warranty info. My system is a bit slow.”
Me: “That’s ok.”
Also me: *What is this, 1986?! Upgrade from DOS already!!*2 -
that weird anxious feeling you get when trying to work out if this is a good idea or not.
"There was a problem downloading the required files"
OK, well that lasted long.
MS cant even have their installer finish anymore.
8 -
Unreal Engine adventures:
me: So ok, I need a map from int to String
Unreal: ya but it's called TMap, FCompactPoseBoneIndex and FName.
me: ..uhhh ok whatever
...
me: ok for debugging, please print this
Unreal: FName is not a string
me: k. Fname.toString().
Unreal: ya but it aint a TChar array now
...
IT'S A FKING STRING JUST PRINT IT. And the other guy is still an int with extra steps! Come the fuck on now....
I mean, honestly, a logging function that cannot print a fking FString? sigh...
Man, I miss python and blender...8 -
“Hi. I’m trying to PM you.”
“Ok. I don’t accept friend requests - because people ask me private questions - and the whole point of this public forum is to ask questions publicly.”
“But if I could just show you my link and ask you some questions...”1 -
A little and sweet rant about RANTS! What the hell guys, I can finally think about a social network happily, but I have the feeling that I'm not a part of this awesome community :'( I mean, everyone is getting problem with some clients or whatever. But I'm currently unemployed, and never really get through that kind of problems. Ok they lied to me on the job, ok I paid 15000 euros 2 years of school where there were still people who doesn't care about the work, ok I left my girlfriend, ok I have a fucking hard time to go back to work with that... But all of this is not really juicy, my life is simple and mostly happy :'(
Maybe I should hope that my next job will be with stupid people :o
I love you guys <35 -
Very senior colleague: *hits a problem that is a minor inconvenience*
VSC: "I have to restart this task, the two weeks I put into it must be deleted!"
Me: "You forgot to do *this* here, add this 1 line and it's ok."
VSC: *An hour of rumbling about the codebase*
VSC: *adds my fix*
VSC: "Ok, it works now, you can review again"
Me: *cries inside*2 -
Laravels error reporting is sometimes fucking useless. Yesterday it wrote into the logs "class foo doesn't exist". I triple checked the including of this class. Checked the namespaces. Checked the classnames. Everything was ok.
Today I removed the content of this particular class, which returned an array. And the error was gone...
After further search I realized I was missing commas within the array deceleration...
Why the fuck you don't just tell me this????!?4 -
Why do companies feel its ok to put dumb crap like this when their services go down? Shit like "oopsies" or "Oh no" doesn't make your users feel better about your shitty service.
Btw this is from Mixpanel, who I wish we hadn't chosen as our analytics platform.
-
OK so after working with SDL for a bit, we have a circle rendering!
Next step is to start working on keyboard input and then onto importing sprites, first time building a game engine from the ground up and working with Vala in this capacity...
EDIT: Gif in comments because it doesn't want to work .-.
6 -
User A: We need to do some check on our data. So you need to add in a new function for this, we can't use your system otherwise.
Me: Ok then.
Spends 2 days or so to get it working
Me: So this is the function we'll add. Can you confirm that its ok?
User A: Ohh...but now I'm not too sure about this. Let me confirm with my team lead on this.
User A: I just checked. Good news,we don't really need that function now. I think we can use it with the current one anyway haha. And I just confirmed this so no worries.
So I just wasted my time then. Great.3 -
Classmate : *Makes trashy PR on my repo to get hacktober PR*
Me : *is disgusted, guides him what to add in the PR to make it better*
Classmate : ok, *closes PR*
<4 Hours later>
Classmate : *new PR, this time worse and wants me to merge*
Me : (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻1 -
Was working on my game engines scripting language for the terminal and this is how things went in roughly the space of 30 minutes
"Ok let's get a basic language structure defined..."
*Time passes*
"Ok, so now I have basic structure and concepts of a potential auto translation framework, external library use and just a dash of complicated file structures and use"
And I still haven't written a single line of code except for ignoring whitespace when starting to lex the file to transpiling ;-;2 -
Just noticed the stuff on my desk now matches my profile... Except for the duck...
Maybe should've taken one after all...
OK no dual monitor but this monitor is probably just as big as 2...
9 -
$a = 1;
$b = 2;
echo ($a < $b) ? ($a > $b) ? 'This is totally fine' : ($a < $b) ? 'This is not ok!' : 'Perfect' : 'No problem here';
Why do people do this?!
(And I mean nested ternary ifs, not coding in PHP :P)16 -
Screw all the people who think standard email is "secure". It is not suitible for sending passwords and SSN numbers.
How can something Equifax or Marriott hacks have happened and people are still ok sending out information like this in plain text?!
I know their hacks weren't email released but still.....should be a good time to up some security standards. Right?5 -
Ok, so we have the Spotify Agile Model now (tribes, squads, chapters, etc). I have seen it implemented in a few large companies, and they seem to be doing ok.
It's just... doesn't anyone worry about the product that came out of this great way of working?
Spotify is great as a service, but it has to have one of the worst usability/success ratios of any modern mobile / web app. You can almost feel the various squads doing their own thing, not thinking about the whole experience.
Doesn't the product count when considering using someone's way of working? Is the Spotify Agile Model the project management equivalent of Twitter's Bootstrap?5 -
I don't scream because my teams are in a different country and we communicate by IM and email.
I do write long ranting/passive-aggressive emails or type really quick replies when I'm pissed though. .
An example of the latter:
Boss: I need you to make a "quick" fix...
Me: hmm ok sounds like we should implement it like ...
Boss: I was thinking something like this... since it's a temp fix
Need: (typing faster) why is it a temp fix... why not builds it properly so it can be reused
Boss: but that takes time, this is quicker
Me: it's bad design because ... (Typing so fast I'm making typos)... Anyway I can do it. This is better...
Boss: ... ok fine... if you can finish it before deadline6 -
TLDR: There's some days where the Gods of IT are not with you. Just lost a whole day of work.
So this morning, we (me and my team) big performance issues with our web app. Lot's of requests time out, big latency, etc
Try to ssh to VPS, latency of 10 seconds between user input and output.
Usual checks: RAM ok, Proc ok, hard drive ok, reboot server (20 minutes), update/upgrade
We decide to call OVH. After 15 minutes call, we try to reboot in rescue mode. Reboot fails at 60% + everything freezes.
After an hour, OVH opens an incident ticket on +200 vps instances (including mine) everything is down during +1h
Finally everything is okay ! Even had time to migrate my new database schema.
Still, quick heavy on the mind but feels good to go home with everything working out correctly
-
There's a russian guy that's absolutely cracking my balls. He proposed to translate one of my apps and I said ok. When he sent me the translated version, I published it and everything was ok. Now he sent me another file saying that this one is the real final one. I said him I will change it in the next release, but now he started send me emails and he downvoted the app. FUCK OFF. I AM THE DEVELOPER, I DO WHAT I WANT. The guy is also very rude.
-
Ok I'm officially losing my fucking mind!
I've been trying to solve a connection bug that only occurs in production which is cool if THIS FUCKING APP DIDN'T TAKE 30 MINUTES TO DEPLOY!!!
Been busy for 4 hours and I've only been able to test 4 minor fixes. -
Hello, i want to start using linux. this is my first time. which distro should i start with? is it ok to start with Manjaro instead of Ubuntu?16
-
"Hello, this is Raja C******b. The purpose of this call is not a sales call. I would like to send you a free podcast examining <blah blah blah> and its impact on <blah blah blah>. I have your email address on file. May I send this to you?"
"No. Because this is not free, since my time is money. And also because this IS a sales call."
"It is not a sales call, sir. We would like to send you a free podcast..."
"... that will try to sell me something."
"No, sir. It is a free podcast examining..."
"...Something that will try to convince me to purchase a product or service."
"Ok, yes."
"Ok, bye."3 -
Ok, this is a little impressive. Sega GT 2002 (dumped from my original Xbox I totally have) crashes to this if I don't have a Dashboard loaded.
Cxbx handles this.
That's kinda cool.
1 -
Ok, I know this has been said a thousand times before, but fuck localization code.
Especially when you have to determine which badly-formatted timestamp is chronologically first.
BLEARGGHHH1 -
*Googling for articles that explain something I'm trying to research*
Oh! This one is highly rated, sounds good!
*It's all written in python*
Ugh that's not helpful, ok next one
*Written in python*
Ok... Ok... Third times a charm
*Next 128 articles are done in python*
Has anyone considered that maybe not everyone uses python?
At least try writing it in Javascript or C++, much easier to adapt code to other languages... Maybe I'm just bitter because I hate python ¯\_(ツ)_/¯10 -
Logging into my school website when... WHY DO YOU USE 🤬 FRNCH FOR BOOLEAN IN THE URL M🤬F
Ok, I know this is a francophone college, but come on!
4 -
When in the screening phone call the HR guy tells you will be using AngularJS. So, you brain like .. ok this is a good reason for you to learn it.
Now I can’t wait to do all the courses online to learn AngularJS lol8 -
"We want you to run the site"
"Ok but you don't need me - the rewritten codebase is javascript and the Python proxy is in the cloud. You can run it on any cheap web hotel. Or just unzip the app on your own desktop"
"We want you to run the site."
Loop this a few times. Can't say I didn't try to save them the money...2 -
Today it is the day of:
"Ok just a few more changes and this thing is good to go. Let me just look at this for a bit to make sure the changes work and...."
And now I'm looking at some APIs spitting out garbage and somehow everything is working and I'm questioning if I know anything at all now :O1 -
So a junior at Twitter created a linter that detects harmful language, then twitter decides to migrate all of their code and documentation to avoid “dangerous language”. The twitter handle of said junior - “negroprogrammer”. The only words twitter should start including in their business is cognitive dissonance.
Ok this should be interesting but this is devRant after all and I couldn’t just not mention this. Cancel me.6 -
*cloning and building this other team's Android project*
"install API 21, current is 23" K
"needs gradle wrapper 2.2, you have 2.10" umm, OK
"this project is using gradle 1.2.3, current is 2.1.1". (ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻ -
Him: "dont put your constants in a standalone class, it defeats the purpose of OOP. A class is for methods and such."
Me (in thoughts): THIS IS PYTHON YOU OEDIPUS, WHAT ELSE SHOULD I DO IF I DONT WANT MY CONSTANTS TO CLUTTER THE FILE??1?
But using the enum-class as superclass maakes it ok for him... -
Package Installer on android needs to show something other than just the progress bar. Even a basic log like windows installers that say, "copying this, extracting this, done..." If it affects the minimalism of the interface, they could try doing what Tor browser does- swipe to see a log. It just feels heartbreaking to wait 5 long minutes for it to process on this tortoise device, and then get, "app not installed." with an OK button. :( Like, whyyyy? There should be a "THAT'S NOT OK" button.
Is there any magisk module for this? Or some other tweak?5 -
Ok, this is very naive - but it’s claimed Russia is trying to hack institutes in the west for coronavirus antidote research. My question is, shouldn’t such research be completely ‘open source’ anyway?18
-
Using an api: ok, this url (.../xml/endpoint) gives me an xml-document. Oh, and there is a node whose text contains html markup, interesting.
Using the same endpoint, but requesting json: yep, that's the same data, there even is this big html string and... why is this string in a json object wrapped inside "<![CDATA[...]]>"?
If i ever see a courtroom from the inside i'll plead insanity.2 -
Java 17 and I see methods in the API that apparently were deprecated back then in Java 1.1! Shouldn't deprecation be the precursor to being eventually removed? Or is backwards compatibility so much important that is ok to have shit in this limbo state for decades?6
-
Run test
everything ok
Run again
everything ok
Run again
error
Run again
everything ok
*wtaf is happening?*
I googled for the cause of a "double callback" error and found out that supertest was throwing it when I was attaching a file to the API request. found no conclusive way to solve it, just that "supertest does it from time to time".
Trying to investigate further, I made a function to repeat the API request 5 times in a row. Everything passed. The run it again. Two failed. Again and everything passed.
this is bullshit
fml
-
Boss: Write a program to generate a report using some data from an existing one.
Me: OK, I will look into doing a POC
Boss: Also it would be stored in Mongo so all the data is queryable
Me: OK I will generate the file first
Boss: But it needs to be in DB, couldn't you just upload it when done?
This discussion goes on for 30 mins+ preventing me from finishing release related work...
IF THE FCKING POC/REPORT ITSELF IS WRONG OR IS MISSING INFORMATION/CAN'T BE GENERATED WHY THE FUCK DOES WHERE IT'S STORED MATTER?!!!!!!!!!!! WHY ARE TOY EATING TIME ON THESE TINY DETAILS THAT DON'T MATTER AT THE MOMENT.
FUCKING GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT. YES EVERYTHING IS DOABLE... JUST NOT NOW.....5 -
ok so basically i have 2 emails x and y.
one is an appleId other is a personal email.
but turns out some other person p is using an appleId with my personal email from a year.
here is a fun fact, i created that email id this month.
apple engineers have taken a week and asked for a week more to figure out how an unverified email is used to create appleId6 -
Client: my email isn't working.
Settings are ok. Me: can you download team viewer for me? I have to look it myself. Client: Yeah I can't since I haven't Internet. Me: *slaps forehead* email is working with internet only. you have to recover your connection.
Never heard of this client since then -
I might be bad at indenting, ok, but THIS...
THIS is one of the worst thing I've ever seen for HTML
7 -
Did I screw up or is it ok doing this?
1. Calling another method inside the same factory file
2. Calling a method from another factory file
3. All factory methods are static because they only depend on their passed parameter(s)
7 -
Ok ok ok, I will preface this by saying I am still a student so you can assume my complete and utter lack of experience.
There is all this fuss about unit testing and TDD but i still have my doubts about it. How is it that if your code works for certain inputs you can be sure that it will work for whatever can happen after deployment?
I mean, to my understanding testing can assure that some business requirements are cared for but as far as actual code correctness goes I don't see how that is achieved.
As far as i am concerned the closest it comes to complete code correctness is a mathematical type of proof but that should be impossible to be done effectively in an OO language.
How can you be sure that your code is what you think?
(If i have this all wrong please correct me)8 -
Ok I love JavaScript but this is enough.
I know selectors like these shouldn't exist, but double escaping? Hell no! I didn't even know it was a thing! I wonder what's the highest level of n escaping there is out there.
6 -
"Hello. I am team-member-1 from GitLab, I am ok, thank you!"
This is the most wanted rant that I would love to see here. -
Ok.. this is what happens every day..
Isn't it?
Bugs.foreach(function(bug){
tryToSolve(bug);
})
function tryToSolve(bug){
// try to solve the bug...
If(bug.solved){
Bugs.push(bug,bug,bug,bug,bug)
}
}2 -
So fellow dev asked me design suggestion knowing that I did design way before, I provided him with ok-ish solution and he said to me: 'this is way better response than designer gave me!'. So curious as I am I asked him what did he said? He said : 'Yeah, sure!' on everything he asked if it is ok to add to screen!
That feeling when devs are better designers than designers you have at disposal!3 -
Advice in building muy first custom PC/workstation.
So the main aim of this computer would be installing Linux, of course! And learning bash.
The second objective is learning Dask and doing some machine learning.
Budget, I dont want the must expensive stuff, because it usually costs double and doesnt perform double.. Second or third tier would be ok.
*this is not a gaming pc5 -
* 3 months ago *
Vendor: We screwed up and need to start the project from the scratch, this delays the project completion by a year.
Me: OK. Anything you need from me?
V: The good news is that you've given us all we need. Everything should be fine to submit and review by the end of March. (Deadline for 2018 completion is mid-April 2017)
* This week *
Vendor: We need this (partially unspecified) documentation urgently, and also we're missing these parts (~3 weeks effort).
All of which could've been started 3 months ago… -
"Hey, don't promote yourself - where I'm trying to promote myself... ok? Have some respect."
OMFG...
What the fuck is wrong with you fucking morons. This is the INTERNET.
IT IS FOR SHARING THINGS.
Just because you feel special / doesn't mean - anything.
This isn't YOUR soapbox. And even if it was... look at your feet you dumb fuck. You are the one standing on it. -
Ok so one of the advantages of Java is that it has a huge ecosystem of libraries.
Then why is there no fucking decent graph library?! I just need to display this planar graph. I'm so fucking close to learning c++ and using boost to layout the graph.
I'm seriously stuck with this since like a week.
FUUUUUCK10 -
Why can't my team including my boss learn to stop making assumptions... And mixing seperate issues into one...
If there's a fucking production issue, first step is to reproduce it... AKA ask what the user did and what he expects....
Not...
User: hey we call this url and get an error
Dev: ok rollback -
Ok let's see. Who tha he'll created this code... Well well let's rewrite it. 8 hours later. OK now it is done. Let's see who to blaim... :@
O no!! it's me :( -
I’m officially underemployed. Got let go yesterday. Doing freelance work. Doesn’t fully pay the bills. But that’s ok. Working on a career focus shift is gonna be uncomfortable for a while. Just hope this economy doesn’t go further underwater and inflation doesn’t go even higher while I’m in the grind.3
-
💪😎👍Why VueJS? Please read this Medium article. Very worth it and detailed.
https://medium.com/@vyaron/...2 -
Yeah ok. I went to bed extra early yesterday but i kept waking up at night and now i am tired anyways but thats ok. i have to go to work now but thats good. yeah this is great. now when the sun is up and i have to go to work, my body feels like it could sleep 10 hours straight but hey, i think this is just what i need right now before work.
-
My laptop just went through a BSOD and I've been noticing a noise from the hard disk even before the BSOD. Dump says the process that failed is ntoskernel. That's no help.
SMART test said hard disk state as OK but crystaldiskinfo says the following which confused me even more. Is it supposed to be this way?
7 -
Ok in scenario A we do X, Y, Z, and in scenario B we'll do this other stuff mostly the same but a little different. That will <puts comments> go here ...
Ok let's make A work....
-time / days passes-
Ok we're done and it is ready to go.
-later-
Someone: "Why doesn't scenario B work?"
Me: LOL some idiot .... <copy paste, fiddle, copy paste, fiddle> there we go I fixed it!!! -
"I don't know about changing that part of the platform"
-"Do you see any other way?"
"No, but this one is pretty complex"
-"Would you like me not to do it?"
"No, but like, really test it, OK? It's a very complex part of the platform"
-"Would you like me to include the phrase 'this was really fucking complex' in the release documentation?"
Sometimes I think my boss is against coding :/ -
my boss on phone today, after a huge task list received these days:
- it would to build this "find my friends" feature in our existing app to boost downloads and reviews
- but i can't rebuild what Apple did.
- well why not?
- because i'm one guy, they are Apple and the rules don't apply to them
- ok but there are other apps that does this
- but they are not alone
- ok keep trying it must be a way
- is it urgent?
- no but it shall be done3 -
Me: your SSH wrapper is breaking how Ansible works
Ops: try to use Ansible in another way
Me: your SSH wrapper is breaking how Ansible works
Ops: try to use Ansible in another way
< This goes on for two weeks >
Me: can we please not use wrapper
Ops: we use it to manage ssh keys
Me: this is breaking basic ssh functionality
Ops: OK we are setting up a weird convoluted way so you can run your Ansible playbooks.
Me: ... < doing "it is at least something" dance > -
Is it ok to hate your old code?
I always say to myself "WTF is this? There's a better way of doing this" when I have to make some changes to some older project.
But, I see it as a good thing, it means that I've improved a bit since then.3 -
I signed a contract with a company that promised flexible working hours, homeoffice (100%) and no traveling. A month after starting traveling begun. Never had a day homeoffice (even though I only asked for it ONE time. And flexible hours my ass. Should I leave? I mean the payment is ok, not awesome but ok. Plus how those guys work there is a hell of a clusterfuck... Kind of depressed because of this situation :/4
-
Me: Ok i could do this in a litt--- wtf, this code is a god damn abomination ... I could just sort of do the thing and leave this or ...
Also Me: Fuck down the rabbit hole I go to make this a better place than when I found it....
-sigh-
Later Me: God damn why I do dis....2 -
Started work in the morning, after a couple of hours was 90% done and would be clicking the checkbox on trello that task is completed.
Lol.
Found a bug.
OK, debugging time.
Spend an hour on trying to fix the simplest bug ever,( php was creating a file that had the contents but the wrong name)
At this point I was starting to get super pissed of cuz in 30min I need to go meet up with some friends.
LOL ok, fuck this shit, I don't want to do this anymore.
Made the bug into a feature that now you can have multiple authority(admin) accounts.
My teamm8 was like lol ok, we didint really need this but it will be useful so nice job.
👏GREAT MORNING:))))1 -
So after working on a website for like a month to make it kinda pixel perfect in every resolution on every device the web designer just tells me "ok, you should move this whole thing up 30px"
Ok, no problem, I change the CSS for that div and make it all go up 30px
The very next day he tells me the while thing is fucked up and not aligned any more
I mean, is was all the same as before, nothing changed! -
Me: „we are going to reschedule the standup to 11pm“
Coworker: „Ok, sure thing“
Me: „You might want to set yourself a reminder so you do not forget it?“
Coworker: „No worries, I got this“
Me @ 11pm: „Where the hell is he?“ -
Ok i will never get airpods.
Not becasue of its price.
But becasue i will lose them in less then a week !
If we divide price by how much time i used them, it would be 20bucks per use...
This is expensive !2 -
Ok so this is not a rant and just want to let this out. I will say something positive. FUCK TAXES!!! 😡3
-
OK... so just spent 3 hours doing the Code Sprint.... 1.9/7 correctly answered... these were "Easy".
Well this is how I feel now....
btw any tips how to do these, seems like you have to be a real God to complete all of these? within just a few days. Do you really need to be able to do this at a tech company?
-
Ok, OnePlus nice fucking job!
I receive all of my notifications even during night and I lose around 4% per night - this is almost iPhone level!5 -
ok, but this is cool. it’s an image that renders differently on apple and non-apple devices. not sure if devRant will process it so it doesn’t work, but this is cool. also a huge vulnerability for apple, but cool.
9 -
Having to hold hands.. dudes been here nearly a year, and I still have to walk him through things. Keep in mind this guy apparently has prior experience. It goes like this:
Him: this process is failing and I don't know why.
Me: did you check the logs?
H: no.
M: ok well what about the code? Have you traced through to find where the error is happening?
H: no not yet.
Couple hours later..
M: Did you get that error sorted out?
H: no.
M: never mind, I'll take care of it. -
Ok. Vim is absolutely brilliant. But sublime in vintage mode ( sublime text with some of the vim capabilities ) is more brilliant. Today I just found out that this code editor (sublime) has this feature implemented and I'm happier than ever. I will use both of them and I won't need any over text editor ( although I have to try to emacs and spacemacs ).10
-
My wife is a pretty decent artist and we were talking about AI and what affect it can have on folks in the graphic artists industry.
I fire up Microsoft's Designer, enter a prompt and this is what it generated.
She said "Oh good. We're gonna be OK."
2 -
This aint a rant but can you guys recommend me a game to pass time?
Id like to have a
Strategy game
Realistic, but not europa universalis realistic
Fun to play
Around 30min/match or ability to save
Windows is ok
Not neccessarily multiplayer, i travel quite often3 -
Ok who the fuck set up the test alarm of the county voluntary fire department.
Its literally a random number calling you that when you pick it up plays a police siren.
Any person who doesn't know what the fuck this is, hangs up thinking what the hell was that.2 -
Ok so there has been a lot of outages this month with AWS going down justeat hungry house some big ones and people have lost their minds my rant is at what point did we fool normal people into thinking the web has 100% uptime and never has the possibility of going down for 10minutes.1
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I have connections in a country with low wages, so I can get cheap but ok/good quality devs.
What is the best way to leverage this?14 -
the moment when you havent slept one night and about this time the next day u start running low on battery. You think to yourself... just a lil bit, to finish this and that first, and your body is naaah man...ok will give ya 'bout 5 mins. so hurry up...right...now where was we...zzz3
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Dumb question time!
I'm writing a bash script that outputs some progress info to stdout (stuff like "Doing this... ok", "Doing that... ok") before outputing a list of names (to stdout too).
I'd like to be able to pipe this list of names to a second script for processing, by doing a simple :
~$ script1 | script2
Unfortunately, as you may have guessed, the progress info is piped as well, and is not displayed on the screen.
Is it considered a bad practice to redirect that progress info to stderr so it is not sent into the pipe ?
Is there any "design pattern" for this kind of usecase, where you want to be able to choose what to display and what to pipe to a program that accepts input from stdin ?16 -
I had this great fun idea and i started programming immediatly. Yes! i'm feeling great and this is going to be amazing!
But Oh! then i had this amazing and super fun idea! It's almost the same, although it requires me to make massive changes to the code... Ok, no problem, i can do this. It's my project and it's fun. This is going to be great!
But then... FUCK2 -
Times are so different. Especially don't shoot the messenger. Ha, fuck that. Shoot him on sight. That dude can think for himself if it's OK to deliver the message right?
Sadly, the messengers are protected by 'freedom to speech'. More like 'freedom to propaganda' these days.
This is not only dev related. It's 42 related7 -
Reading code and getting that face palm moment
String code = customer.getCode();
customer.setAccount("foo");
customer.setGroup("bar");
customer.setCode("new code");
Ok this is preparing the customer obj makes sence.
Some 20 lines later
customer.setCode(code);...... Wtf1 -
I watched a few reviews for the new nvidia RTX 4070 Ti graphics card. One question on my mind is: why is it so huge?
⏺️4090 is huge -> ok I get it, 450W power is a lot of W
⏺️4080 is huge -> ok I guess, 320 W of power is a still a lot of W; although it should be considerably smaller than 4090 (but it is not? why)
⏺️4070 Ti is huge -> 3 slots size for this graphics card? What the actual hell? This card is rated just 285 W. It makes no sense
I do not get it. The only explanation I can find is that the manufacturer got so lazy they cannot be bothered to design 3 different cooling systems, so they reuse the same cooling system on all graphics cards. RIP4 -
I should close this window.
But.. this article is short and moderately amusing.
Ok, now i should close this window.
But.. look at those pictures.
Ok, we are at the end of the article. I should close now.
But.. look at those comments.
Hmm, cool comments, close now.
But.. look at that interesting next article.
Hmm..
***Newsletter popup***
closes window. -
So… C++ seems kinda ok, as long as you don’t use like 80% of the language :-)
This is me making concessions when a library I really want to try (Dear ImGUI)is written in C++…
(yes, I know about cimgui, but for some reason I wanna learn upstream instead of generated bindings…)4 -
Me: I'm currently working an unfamiliar stack and need extensive searching to implement this or that, but that's ok, duck duck go and SO is my friend
Also me: oh look, [facebook/devrant/youtube/I really need to sort this unrelated shit right about now since I just randomly remembered it and will forget in 3..2..1../devrant] -
ok it's official
I love Kamala Harris
she's so fucking hilarious
(the editing is annoying BUT LMAO): https://vxtwitter.com/mitchellvii/...
oh my God can you imagine replying like that at a job, but thinking you're hot shit. this person runs a country now
it's amazing. I love it. I'm dying7 -
Task: can you copy this sharepoint reactjs webpart to some other site.
Me: ok
Piece if shit webpart won't event build and my vs code is blood red from errors.
The project got gangbanged by 4 more people before being passed down and no one knows wtf is going on.
Fuck sharepoint, most shity ass piece of crap on the planet 🌏1 -
PO: "Remember guys, protect your scope!"
.. moments later, after the PO meeting..
PO: "I want you to do user story x but I want it changed this way"
me: "Ok"
*pling* notification: PO changed jira story
*I work on it for a few hours*
me: "Is this what you wanted?"
PO: "Yeah, actually I made up my mind. I want you to implement it totally different and scrap what you added now"
me: "Thanks for wasting my time bro"
me: *codes*
.. a few hours later, mid-coding..
PO: "Uh, yeah, changed my mind. The way you did it now is ok, but I want something else added"
*3 iterations of the same crap later*
me: "Sigh, make up your minds!"5 -
You know I don't want to hate everyone
Since you guys seem so intentionally narrating ok fucked up mindsets you all apparently create in your psycho offspring
Wouldn't it make more sense to put this suppose duplicate who is like allof you creatures in this ?
Unless I'm gonna be contracted to remove people who do these awful things it's a waste of time really8 -
Another Team: How do we do this thing? What aws role do we need?
Me: You do it like this, and I don't know the role by this guy does and all you have to do is ask him for the name of the role to assume.
AT: Ok, great.
AT: We're going to do it like this (wrong way, completely against best practices and completely against what the company architects dictate)
Me: No... thats the wrong way. Don't do it that way. That is bad, because (Reasons A, B, C). Do it the way I told you it should be done.
AT: Ok! I see thank you!
3 hrs later
AT schedules a meeting to go over options to do the thing ... including the WRONG WAY and they still haven't talked to That Guy to get the role name they need.1 -
Mark: hey guys I wanted to connect with you all (on FB) and have a quick chat before the meeting.
Cook, Pichai, Bezos: ok, mhhm... what's up?
Mark: yes so I think we gonna be in for a grilling so want make sure we minimize the damage.
All: uhhm....
Mark: I'm suggesting we agree on the order which we join the webex so we don't look bad..
Pichai, Cook: I don't get it...
Bezos: ... oh I think I get it.... you mean appearing as FAAG?
Cook: hmm..
Pichai: what's that?
Mark: not important but anyway... The solution is simple.
Bezos: yes Sundar just login first and I guess can send us all push notifications to our phones.
Pichai: hm... Ok... Wouldn't this get us in trouble though.... This sounds like collusion...
Mark: ok guys... Uh let's just end it here then... This chat Never happened...
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Stuck here with PHP doing his PHPices and just get to think about something really important... If two cats starts to fight is this a CATastrophe? Ok, better fix this amazing SQL exception.
-
Updated my Mac this afternoon to macOS Catalina. Apart from rearranging all my apps in Launchpad, the major change I notice is that the terminal is using zsh instead of bash... ok... cool. I don't know anything about zsh... what differences can I expect? Should I go back to bash?5
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Teacher : So today we'll study Dynamic programming.
In DP we solve the problem LCS.
Student : Ok one more algorithm atleast I'll improve my algorithms.
Teacher : (after 10 minutes) so this is how we make the table and find the solution. Now let's move to another topic
-- End of Dynamic Programming --
@algorithms_in_india6 -
Ok, what is Mac removing the ESC key? First they remove the headphone jack from their phone and now this? I don't even use Mac and I find the ESC key really useful.
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Alright, Kotlin, I really like you but...
WHY TF IS 0xFFFFFFFF A LONG. WHY DO YOU TAKE THIS PERFECTLY FINE, BUT SIGNED, 32BIT AND USE IT AS A FUCKING LONG. NOW I'M SUPPOSED TO APPEND .toInt() AT EVERY TIME I WANT SOME HEX EVALUATED AS A COLOR.
THIS IS NOT OK, I NEED ANSWERS. HOW SHIT INTO YOUR BRAIN AND THOUGHT THIS WAS FINE!!!1 -
We have this guy at our office that is constantly sending mails complaining about our code. About 10 min. after a commit he's either complaining or come with some condescending "ok" comment.
-
I'm ok with almost every language.
But this "everything is a function" concept of JavaScript always give me that "kill me painless and quick" itch !!!#":":/#*%¢|°°
const fuuuuuuuuuck = require('fuckoff.js')1 -
Hey Guys,
I want to build a voice assistance like Ok Google from scratch using ML.
Actually, I'm unable to figure out How can I achieve this 😅.
I want App like When I give command like Open DevRant then the App should work like Google App.
Ok all Good.
But I want to know If I write a code to open any App like Open APP_NAME
then It is coded by me not my app is learning this.
Sorry If I'm unable to Explain this to you.
I want to know Should I have to code all procedures for doing task like open any app, calling any number, etc myself or is there any way that my App can learn on its on 😔.
If somebody understand this please suggest me what is best for this.5 -
Firebase api is good simple and alright but when you want to add it to your android project , you want TO KILL YOURSELF. OK first gradle works then say oh you should update your gradle you update it . then it says cannot resolve firebase:core WHaaaaT? OK YOU SEARCH FIREBASE API FOR AN ANSWER THERE IS NOTHING THERE. then stack overflow come to your help you should update some FUCKING package that firebase didnot mention you should update and all this time you say dns is wrong , firebase is filtered your country again, and after you update thise tow package you found out that you should update your android studio too for just one line code(firebase mentioned this but I said noooo it's just optional) .2
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Ok......so we working on this system with a friend
we have deadline today
he's the one who wrote the code
I'm just implementing some features
maaan the dude is just not responsive to questions
and project structure and code is bad AF no comments or docs
WTF!!!!!!! -
GitHub PRs
You want to know whether it's merged already so you scroll and read every comment, tension is building...
it was open months ago... you keep reading in June
comments are March 25, (OK)
(reads another 20 comments) (OK)
May 1st (fuck I don't want to see any dates close to today)
keep scrolling - May 9th (fuck fuck, no, please be merged by now!!!)
Many of them asking for the merge with dozens of upvotes
next 16 days ago saying "Is this going to be merged now"?
And you keep reading and hoping and it gets to today and it's just hanging in there
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhh2 -
Fucking translation service!! (Wordreference)
This morning I got the usual gdpr thingy and I thought "ok let's have a look what this translation service is doing"
You damn bitch that fucking list contains dozens and dozens of rows and I have to fucking manually disable them one by one.
What the hell, did you hire a monkey to code this stuff you utterly incompetent company? I'm never gonna you this thing again
4 -
Today before leaving, the QA said she found problems in 3 issues I've been working on, until now everything was ok. Tomorrow is the closing of the Sprint but I can't present this progress because it's not completed...
I know the QA is doing her job but why now?
Hopefully I'll fix it tomorrow before the meeting1 -
Ok, you've got some free time and a folder full of bookmarks to get through the subjects you need for that cert....
....but it has been busy these past few months. One day out of your holiday just to chill and do nothing, then you can get to work....
....you have 9 days. 2 out of the 9 is ok just to relax, it is a holiday after all....
....ok, your going back to work in 2 days and the most you've done is read some semi-related articles that were shared on Twitter. Sort it out....
....24 hours to go, you've essentially done nothing productive. I guess I'll go back to fitting it in at work or convincing myself I'll do it when I get home after a long day.
Anyone else struggle with this? Not just for certs in particular, but just learning in general. -
ok hear me out: client side targeted advertising. no unknown data is stored on some server somewhere without you knowing. you just add topics you like to an array and it's sent with each ad request.
i have nothing against advertising, i have stuff against stalking, and i'd be ok with this.9 -
New Project
M: Hey, check these two processes. Both took different paths for the same input. Here are the logs. Both are the same though.
Me: Ok... do we have a debugger?
M: No this product doesn't have a debugger
Me: Any unit tests i should know of?
M: We don't do unit testing. Everything is done in Integration Testing.
Me: Ok. So how can i check the db for this?
M: You can't, the access is restricted. You'll have to raise a ticket to other team with the sql output you need.
Me: Ok. So I hope you have the schema at least.
M: Yes we have the schema. But there was some issue last week so the values might not be there in the correct column. They may or may not be present where they are supposed to be.
Wtf am i supposed to do... fucking play football on ticketing system with the other team 😐 -
Ok so a few weeks after contract termination I manage to get hooked up with another startup and jumped on a project
The grate part about this is they even paid half upfront -
Ok so I have a software quality exam tomorrow and I'm studying the theory the teacher gave us. This thing is repeting all the time that the best way to ensure quality is by using BPMS (Business Process management Systems) like Bizagi and the one from IBM, which generate software apps without coding, just defining processes. What do you guys think about this?2
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I told them I can do everything from front end, back end, to iOS and mac app, just not Android. I don't like Android. Now they are assigning Android tasks to me, I am working like shit and very unhappy.
Am I not professional or is this ok?2 -
Argh
Help
If you know, a specific string is always going to be the same, and theres no way any other value could be passed to this statement. Is it still ok to use string.substring(0, string.IndexOf(&$&$))?
I feel dirty every time....1 -
The moment, when your untouched pipelines don't work. You investigate due to capacity. No Standard_D2 machines. Ok take D3, same error. D4?!?!?! Same Error. Some strange SKU... all fine.
This is the cloud with corona.3 -
ORM feels like, I can do better than that, with more predictability (like naming, table creation, and stuff).
The only pro, is hopes for inter-dialects interop (SQLite-Postgres-MySQL-MariaDB).
OK, I also want SQLite-MongoDB interop, because of the cheap price; but this is difficult. -
I have to use SQL event to check if in the "plots" has specific building, and update the gold/iron/stone... by the specific amount that building produces. This is how the Gold mine creates slowly gold. I am not sure this is OK like this, please I need advice.
1 -
Ok the sprint review is tomorrow, there are lots of work to do and qe are half slept, this gonna end well :)
-
Ok so I was browsing youtube then I saw this. My brain is polluted lol I thought this is some ( . Y . )
2 -
I was asked about SEO going into long description that this is not just about keywords. Get ok I'm going to go eat now let's get this SEO thing going.
-
Ok this is my first try in machine learning, this is DQN for Pong!
I want to add my own flavor by adding pressure touch to paddle movements, such that the harder I press in a direction it moves faster to a max speed.
Does it makes sense if I apply the floating point outputs of sigmoid directly to speed control? Or should I make multiple outputs to represent different "steps" of pressure/speed? -
lol rust has no early return from a match statement
continue to skip rest of loop
break to exit a loop
return to exit a function
they put in let Ok(response) = request.send() else { return None };
then you can use response like normal after
but let's say I wanna know what the error was (Ok being a variant of Result::Ok or Result::Err, and the above allowing you to destructure and go on or exit early because can't destructure)
let response = match response.send() {
Ok(response) => response,
Err(err) => {
// log error to file or whatever
eprintln!("{err:#?}");
//????? HOW DO I BREAK OUT OF HERE
return None //whole function shits itself instead of just exiting match
}
}
//does some stuff with response
actually in my case the result will be wrapped in a Ok again so I'm not doing justice to explaining this problem, fux
but basically I need to exit the match without ending the function
come on, match is a loop. let me break, fuckers.17 -
QA: Ok, I'll close this task and open a new task on pivotal for the missing features
... He is flirting me ? -
Ok so giving chatgpt small instructions seems to kind of work
The question is how to connect to it through your own interface? Chat is cutting off code
I don't think this will put programmers out of business
You have to know what you're doing to instruct it lol
Do you think they'll lose their whole user base making this a 1000.00 a year pay service?2 -
Ok see this "trend" of adding a number 2 to a class name. To denote the new version of an object, surely I'm not the only person who thinks this is horrible. E.g Entity2, Renderder2 etc. It just creates a really bad API, I understand it's needed for backwards compatibility, but honestly there must be a better way....5
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