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Her: Hey, just heard what John did to you.
Me: Yea. I can't believe he screwed me over like that. I thought he was my friend.
Her: Don't worry. Forget about the bustard. You know #FFF
Me: 🙁 #FFF? What does white got to do with all this.
Her: What???
Me: #FFF. This is white.
Her: Nooooo. It means Fuck Fake Friends. As in the G. Eazy song.
Me: Ohhh😐23 -
Random Guy: So you wrote all this in Java?
Me: JavaScript
Random Guy: Yea. What i said. It's the same!
Me: *triggered*11 -
My non techie girlfriend :) <3
-----------
She: Hey I am getting a new phone!
Me: which one?
She: Apple I phone
Me: oh cool!
She: yea I am really excited. I can't wait to have more space on my phone. I can't have anything on my current phone.
Me: yup.
She: new phone will have a lot of storage space. Its going to be 64MB. Imagine all the things I can do with it now.
Me: Hey, the 90's called, they want their storage sizes back.
*hilarious laughter ensues*
Dat iPhone crowd doe. Android 4 life.13 -
@dfox thank you for sponsoring our event with goodies. I think devrant gained a few Dutchies tonight. Ive also made sure @linuxxx could grab some (yea try to spot him on the picture!).
20 -
Sales Guy: Hey Man, you know what? you should go back to college and advance your knowledge in Software Engineering. This way you will be an expert in programming and handling the Servers.
Me: I started programming at the age of 17 and started handling servers by the age of 18. Can I ask you something if you don't mind?
Sale Guy: Yea sure I don't mind anything
Me: Get the fuck out of here8 -
Coding essentially is an infinite loop of:
1) wtf
2) ah yea
Add sprinkles of "that should be easy" and "why did i agree on this"6 -
Once a customer wanted to pay our invoice cash in a meeting. Then he came up with 14995€. As we asked where the 5€ are he could not remember immediately, but then he yelled: OH YEA I GOT HUNGRY ON THE WAY TO YOU.6
-
*my lil cousin approaching
"So, are you a programmer?"
"Well, yea"
"Can you teach me how to hack facebook?"
"Sorry, but i cant hack facebook"
"You sucks"
:<16 -
Me to HR lad: So yea I need you to process my resignation
HR lad to me (*silently whispering on phone*): I’ve resigned too. Good luck.
2 -
Never worked for this guy, just saw it someone else's feed and thought it would be appropriate here. This is not leadership. This is bullying and stomping on people in a vulnerable situation which most likely has very little to do with their work ethic and more to do with company health. Yea, definitely elevate yourself and be that A+ person for you. Not for assholes like this. A good leader would empathize and provide resources for advancement and transformation to roles that are more aligned to the current environment.
24 -
School holidays be like:
"Yea! I finally have time to do projects that I like!"
When school starts again:
"How dafuq did I manage to do absolutely nothing in the past month?!?!"4 -
My lead keeps pushing commits to master. His commit messages vary from: no message, yeah, and yup.
and yea, some of the build break master.
Makes me just wanna die sometimes when digging through our commit history to figure out when a bug was introduced.
27 -
Friend: You make games right?
Me: Yea I try to atleast, why?
Friend: I have this cool idea for an MMORPG with fantasy elements and dragons and stuff!
Me: Well thats a lot of work, just setting up serv-
Friend: We can have a bunch of cool stuff like Sandbox stuff, Guild battles and 100v100 pvp
Me: As I was trying to say, it would requi-
Friend: OH We need space for atleast 10 thousand people on each server!
Me: ... Good luck buddy!6 -
I get depressed during times like this.
Me: *does a keyboard shortcut*
Friend: Woaw, are you good on computers?
Me: yea.
Friend: CAN YOU HACK?
Me: yea...
Friend: WHATS MY PASSWORD?
Me: I don't know your password.
Friend: You can't hack then.9 -
I'm still remembering that one time a friend of mine asked me to pass him the WiFi-cable.
I know, that sounds like a cliche, but it's getting better...
We are both information and communication engineering students...
I told him to think about what he just said and after some seconds of thinking he responded with "Oh yea, I forgot that my laptop doesn't have a WiFi Jack..."
He's passing most exams with distinction btw...1 -
"Pythonists don't comment, they write readable code."
Yea, tell that to the list comprehension with three lambdas21 -
one of our computers at work suddenly shut down. our boss panicked like it was the end of the world cause he knew we couldnt buy a new one and we desperately need the computer. when i came in he started telling me he's gonna pay me extra if i fix the computer
me: *checks cpu and finds out it was unplugged* u sure bout that?
him: hell yea, id rather pay u that buy a new one
*30 mins later*
me: *plugs it back in and pushes power button* its done
>> guess who's got extra money without any extra efforts yay11 -
Ill join in - Our CEO and CTO insist that we can make an AI that can recognize emotions and feelings through Python, R, and some MySQL... mind you, with a team of unpaid interns....
Im sorry, but Id love some of whatever the fuck they are smoking.12 -
Translating things:
ME: "Hey dev, can you send me a xml file of strings to translate so you can impleme..."
DEV: "yea yea tomorrow"
He sent a .docx file.
i'm crying9 -
Fuck yea!
My employer just approved, that I can use my own opensource project, at the company project.23 -
Multiple friens asked if I could help someone with her "laptop".
Me: so I hear that you have problems with your laptop?
She: oh yea let me get my laptop.
A minute later she comes back with an iPad mini.
She: I cant get this app to work!
How can they all call that a laptop! *facepalm*9 -
Client: My email not working
Me: What error message you getting
Client: Nothing, it's just stuck on Outbook
Me: Is your Internet working?
Client: Yes, of cause am not that stupid
Me: No! No! just asking as checkup
Client: Okay
Me: Open your Internet Browser and goto Google or Facebook
Client: Okay hold on..I am getting message "There is no Internet Connection"
Me: Yea, your Internet is not working that's why email can't be send. Talk to your IT Guy or Internet Provider about it.
Client: Okay, thanks!3 -
Them: "Could you send the password in an encrypted mail?"
Me: "Yea sure, what's your GPG public key?"
Them: "What's that? Can't you just encrypt it?"
Me: "Nvm, do you have Signal?"6 -
"How can you sit around all day solving problems, without going mad?"
Yea right .. Without going mad :')2 -
Recruiter: "Ashleigh, I have a client that has asked me to reach out to you. They use really modern tech"
Me: "Oh Yea? What like?"
Recuriter: "es2015 and symfony 2"
Me: "fuck off"4 -
Teacher: Computer settings are stored in the ROM on the motherboard.
Me: *internally* Uhm, yea, sure... and I am the pope
Me: Sorry to interrupt you but how come the BIOS settings get reset when the CMOS battery is pulled out or dies if they are stored in ROM?
Teacher: ....
Me: *internally* yea, that's what I thought, you have no clue what you are even saying - the BIOS is stored in ROM or flash memory while the settings are stored in NVRAM also called CMOS memory...10 -
So I had another seizure last night... (yea not fun), it's been awhile and yesterday's, I have no recollection of what happened.
But today, what do I do? Make sure I can still read and code :)
Honestly, if I forget how to code, not sure what I would do.....
Oh and I just wrote this and somewhat related:
https://medium.com/@allanx2000/...
21 -
"So we have 20GB of data, we need to show ALL of it on the graph ... oh yea it needs to work on mobile"8
-
Yea so I was creating registration form and I did this:
...
if ($pass != $passrepeat or
$passrepeat != $pass) {
# MAGIC
}
...
I think I should quit being a programmer..13 -
Have you seen that movie Up? The one with the dog that's easily distracted? Yea I'm that dog.
I'll work for about 15-20 or until I fix something the way iike it, and then I end up getting distracted for another 5-10 minutes.2 -
::python coding::
Friend: "so I have to press tab when I want to code inside a function, right?"
Me (Busy): "yea yea, whenever you enter a new scope. Indentation is important in python..."
Friend: "what's a scope?"
#$ cowsay "dafaq"
Me: "bruh, what you doin in Computer Engineering?"4 -
Boss: Hey, remember that app you made that was supposed to be purely for demonstration purposes?
Me: The one that we hard coded to get done in a week? Yea, why?
Boss: Here are some changes we need done for the next meeting.
Me:...1 -
I'm not even that old and I've had it with young cocksure, full of them self language/environment evangelists.
- "C# is always better than Java, don't bother learning it"
- "Lol python is all you need"
- "Omg windows/linux/mac sucks use this instead"
The list goes on really, at some point you have got to realize that while specialization is great, you have to learn a little bit of everything. It broadens you horizon a lot.
Yea, C# does some nifty stuff, but Java does too, learn both. Yea I'm sure Linux is better for hosting docker containers, but your clients are on mac or windows, learn to at least navigate and operate all three etc. Embrace knowledge from all the different tech camps it can only do you good and you will be so much more flexible and employable than your close minded peers :)
Hell even PHP has a lot to teach us (Even more than just to be a bad example, har har)9 -
Just met my old friend a few minutes ago and he asked me, "what work you do?"
Me > Well you already know, I'm a developer.
He > Oh, so you make mobile apps and websites?
Me > Well kinda yea but I work on websites mostly, will build my mobile app later someday.
He > Yea, you have something called web2,web3 and RSS FEED and you know anyone can do coding and developer stuff, only hard thing is to get a good idea.
(that was exactly his sentence)
Me > ......................... (in my head)5 -
Person- Hey! are you a game developer?
me- yea.
person- Nice! so, you make games, right?
me- NO! I fuckin' scroll through my Twitter feed!
person- Ahm hah.. ok then, ttyl.
me- T.T6 -
I'm starting to fucking hate the word 'done'.
Scenario 1:
Boss: How's the spec coming along?
Manager: Oh, it's done.
Manager to me: Hey can you get it done?
Me: Why would you call it done? There's a days worth of work and it's only half done. Boss wasn't even rushing it yet.
Manager: Too late I've already committed it. I'm sure it's simple anyway. Just do it.
Scenario 2:
Manager: Hey is it done?
Noob dev: Yea it's done.
*Commits half assed incomplete sphagetti shit that breaks stuff*
Manager: Well done. Completed so quickly.
FUCK THIS SHIT.2 -
"So, what do you do in life?"
Me : I work on enterprise level mobile, web and server applications. Basically programming and database stuff...
"Sweet! So you can fix my PC right? It's getting slow I don't know why..."
Me : mmm well, ugh... yea kinda, I guess... sure. I could take a look 😑2 -
I am working on a project with a retard.
I am supposed to focus on the mobile apps but the backend guy doesn't know shit about REST.I spend more time teaching him how to serialize data into JSON and telling him not to store passwords as plaintext(He's now using md5 despite me telling him to use bcrypt) than developing the mobile apps am supposed to.
Guess who will be blamed for missing the deadline?
Yea, it's me.
Guess who will get the credits for the backend i am developing?
Yea, it's him.
Fuck!12 -
🇬🇧/🇺🇸: email
🇩🇪 (Telemediengesetz): "ADRESSE DER ELEKTRONISCHEN POST!" ("address of electronic postal service")
Yea, I fucking love my first language.15 -
"We want a perfect PHP dev"
... yea, and he will produce shitcode like
switch(true) {
case 1 < 2:
...
case $a == $b:
...
}
no thx5 -
Microshaft!!!
NO I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP ALL MY DATA JUST TO GET AN EXPLORER DARK THEME!!!
YES I DISABLED TELEMETRY PARTIALLY!!
YES I STILL WANT TO RECEIVE UPDATES REGARDLESS OF WHETHER I EXPRESS MY DESIRES TO NOT BE TRACKED IN FULL!!!
NO I REALLY DON'T WANT TO HEAR SHIT ABOUT "THIS FUCKING QUESTION HAS BEEN ANSWERED SOMEWHERE ELSE"!!!
(https://answers.microsoft.com/en-us... - certified Microshit MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!)
AND NO I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU THAT AFTER RE-ENABLING TELEMETRY THAT MY PRIVACY SETTINGS ARE STILL TOO LOW!!! AND CERTAINLY I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR WORTHLESS "FIX ME" SHIT UNABLE TO FIX JACK SHIT!!!
AND LIKE FUCKING HELL DO I WANT TO REINSTALL WANBLOWS, FUCKING KEEP MY SHITTY FILES THAT ARE FUCKING BACKED UP BUT LOSE ALL MY CUSTOM CONFIGURATIONS!!! LIKE FUCKING HELL!!! NOT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FIX YOUR OWN BLOODY SYSTEM AFTER I DID MY PART TO GIVE MY DATA TO THE SHAFTLORDS AGAIN!!!
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!!!23 -
Yea... so you know all those rants/jokes about how you need to explain programming to ur friends and family?
I just realized I don't have that problem.... all of them are programmers as well :)8 -
Job BS that made me consider quitting? If you find my previous rants, you find a lot of BS.
Here is one (attached is the actual email sent to me.)
TL;DR. The biggest BS part is the fact that I *got approval* from my boss to work on the migration and we already 'owned' specific project and no one else was working on it.
After I got the email (my boss sits right next to me)
Me: "Whoa..what's this!? Two weeks ago you gave me the green light to work on it."
C: "Oh yea...I forgot. Sorry."
<yes, the BS flags thrown all all over the place>
Me: "I'll schedule a meeting with everybody and straighten this out."
C: "That's a good idea, but I'll take care of it."
<10 min. later>
C: "Sorry, J said his word was final. You are not supposed to work on the project."
Me: "I never said I wanted to work on the project, it's already finished and with your approval. That's what I want straightened out."
C: "Yea..yea...I know, but J said to roll back your changes. I tried everything I could to change his mind."
Me: "I don't want his mind...never mind...I'll go talk to the boss if J won't listen"
C: "About that..um...the directive came directly from the boss. It's probably best you roll back the changes and forget this happened."
I knew then the well was already poisoned, so anything I said could be grounds for dismissal (the boss had an itchy 'firing' finger)
Time and karma took care of most of the rage. Not really a month later my boss was demoted back to developer and working on dead-end projects (porting data for reports).
6 -
Manager: I want the front ends to be more dumb, too much logic is happening on the frontend.
Me: both of the sites are just multi step forms, I’m confused about the complexity part.
Manager: yea but don’t we have a bunch of third party api calls?
Me: we have 4 and they are public facing apis.
Manager: yea, make a new api and move this api calls to the backend and I want both frontend teams to send the same shape payload.
Me: but…
Manager: oh and I don’t like how the business team does the a/b testing and splitting traffic, let’s move that to the backend as well.
Me: but… that a/b testing platform they use in ran by another team and they have a full set of features for business analytics…
Manager: yea let’s just replicate those features and move them to the backend.
Me: but it’s a product!
Manager: look! You are the best backend engineer we got! I know you can do this!
Me: I lead the frontend teams…
Manager: ….
Manger: good news we are giving you a promotion with raise you are now a senior engineer.
Me: I confused but happy… I think..9 -
Me: purchases Amazon Fire stick TV
Amazon: thank you for your purchase, we recommend buying a Fire stick TV Lite.
Me: so, you want me to buy the cheaper model of the item I just bought?
Amazon: hell yea, it'll go nicely with your current Fire Stick TV and offer even less functionality,5 -
Yea #deletefacebook is fine and all but what about putting fucking Like-Buttons all over the goddamn web. Care about that, would ya?!? You're not any bit better than zuckerfuck if you are doing this on your site!5
-
Um.. yea I've published a GDPR contact email on our website, for issues about our privacy policy. Not sure if you Chinese marketing fucks behind the GFW know what this regulation is about though. I'm not interested in your stupid moulds.
Perhaps that firewall of China could use some further tightening... 😒
4 -
So my colleague today was writing some javascript to multiple numbers, and he was getting very frustrated after a while trying to debug the code. the problem was he wrote the following:
AxB
but what he actually meant is
A*B
So yea @_@ ...4 -
Co-worker: "I made the UI for feature X you asked me for"
Me: "Oh great tha... Why is it on the same screen as feature Y? Those features are unrelated?"
Co-worker: "Yea it was too much effort to create a new screen."
Me: "...?!?"1 -
Yea, that's seems about right.When the user gives incorrect password,throw an Internal Server Error.
Great API design!2 -
#devRant
*read a rant which you were not in favor of*
*open comments*
*There would be one fella who had already written your head*
*Upvoted the comment*
*Kept reading other rants*
Ever did that?7 -
Most ridiculous meeting I've been in? Sooo many. Here is the first.
Mandatory box knife safety meeting. Why? We worked in the same building as the warehouse, and the safety manager made it mandatory everyone in the building be trained.
We walk into the meeting...
Trainer: "What are you guys doing here? You're developers."
Bob: "Adam said this meeting is mandatory for everyone."
Trainer: "Yea, but not you guys. You'll never touch a box knife. Just a sec, let me run out and find Adam."
<2 minutes later>
Trainer: "Sorry guys, Adam is not budging. He said everyone and that includes developers."6 -
Fucking Edge. I fixed a "bug" and now the bug-pointer tells me a line with only a comment causes a problem. Yea. Genius browser.
It's an "UNKNOWN" error btw, great debugging!
8 -
Team member just requested a code review in French (s'il vous plaît)
Yea, I'm not reviewing your code you pretentious prick5 -
Parents call me dumb but this is what happens when they don't understand probabilities and contrarianism....
There are 3, express trains (let's call A, B, C) in the morning 5 minutes apart.
After which the next one in 20 mins...
My parents can't be bothered to get up 10 minutes earlier and aim for A.
Today C got cancelled.
And here's the result... ORZ
And I'm late to work... With more stress than need....
So yea... I don't think I'm dumb, quite frankly I think I'm smarter than them and a lot of ppl...
22 -
The 2018 bucket list!
I sort of swear to be a good coder, to take honour and dignity in all the lines I write, I will not take shortcuts, I will obtain a +80% test coverage across my projects, write clean and accurate documentation, and ultimately I will write less bugs!
Yea..., probably not but worth a try anyway!!1 -
So the CEO called me down about a super urgent bug that needs to be fixed or we will loose several hundred thousand pounds of business.
I rush down to his office and there he has a graph "look the values are barely moving i would expect the values to be more erratic this time of day"
*i look at the graph*
"Errrr your looking at 02:00 in the morning, it's 14:00"
Boss: ahh good spot *looks at 14:00* yea that looks good, great job.5 -
*me teaching someone to code*
Me: So what do you think will happen when we run this?
Student: ummm... I don...🤔
Random: I KNOW! It does xyz 😄
Student: agh yea, it does xyz 😅
Me: (ffs) 😐
Nothing gets learned in the end 😮1 -
Just dragged a button in the UI to fix a bug.
Hell yea, now I'll write about my Objective C skills in my CV...2 -
A friend of mine and I decided we wanted to fork linux and port it to C++.
Sounds crazy yea, but there are many benefits:
1) More secure due to ability to use references
2) More sustainable due to the extensive standard lib
Not only would we port linux to C++, we would improve it as far as possible.
So now for the part of the rant where I misuse devRant as an advertizement platform. to those interested in helping, here is the poll where you can get included into the mailing list:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/...11 -
Ugh I'm getting so owned. Currently having a burst DDOS on a host of ours. It is always at xx:00 and xx:30 for ~2 minutes from ~200++ unique AWS instances (Ip's).
Not long enough to ban them (max 2-3 requests per IP), not general enough to ban them on the type of request.. and the IP's.. yea... It would result banning all the amazon subnets which is also not an option lol.
Now waiting I guess.. I sent an email to amazon5 -
Fuck you Australian Fucking Internet!!
Yea sure i have fucking hours to sit here and fucking upload a 4GB repo to gitlab at 5kb/s!!! - yes the slow ass KILOBYTES, you overly expensive piece of horse shit.
fuck it, connects to phone and bam 1MB/s uploads, well theres goes a chunk of this month data :(7 -
My friends trynna bullshit how windows is much better than Linux. They sayin shit like "at least our csgo don crash when we alt tab" then I say "at least I don't have to reboot when something go wrong" and they be like "yea but windows better" 😡16
-
<just got out of this meeting>
Mgr: “Can we log the messages coming from the services?”
Me: “Absolutely, but it could be a lot of network traffic and create a lot of noise. I’m not sure if our current logging infrastructure is the right fit for this.”
Senior Dev: “We could use Log4Net. That will take care of the logging.”
Mgr: “Log4Net?…Yea…I’ve heard of it…Great, make it happen.”
Me: “Um…Log4Net is just the client library, I’m talking about the back-end, where the data is logged. For this issue, we want to make sure the data we’re logging is as concise as possible. We don’t want to cause a bottleneck inside the service logging informational messages.”
Mgr: “Oh, no, absolutely not, but I don’t know the right answer, which is why I’ll let you two figure it out.”
Senior Dev: “Log4Net will take care of any threading issues we have with logging. It’ll work.”
Me: “Um..I’m sure…but we need to figure out what we need to log before we decide how we’re logging it.”
Senior Dev: “Yea, but if we log to SQL database, it will scale just fine.”
Mgr: “A SQL database? For logging? That seems excessive.”
Senior Dev: “No, not really. Log4Net takes care of all the details.”
Me: “That’s not going to happen. We’re not going to set up an entire sql database infrastructure to log data.”
Senior Dev: “Yea…probably right. We could use ElasticSearch or even Redis. Those are lightweight.”
Mgr: “Oh..yea…I’ve heard good things about Redis.”
Senior Dev: “Yea, and it runs on Linux and Linux is free.”
Mgr: “I like free, but I’m late for another meeting…you guys figure it out and let me know.”
<mgr leaves>
Me: “So..Linux…um…know anything about administrating Redis on Linux?”
Senior Dev: ”Oh no…not a clue.”
It was all I could do from doing physical harm to another human being.
I really hate people playing buzzword bingo with projects I’m responsible for.
Only good piece is he’s not changing any of the code.3 -
Who says Windows is useless....
Running a python script to swap wifi networks, auto connect to VPN servers, run SSH commands and SFTP files to servers, downloading numerous files, sifting through outlook for emails, running excel macros for data cleansing, cell merging and formulas all at the click of a button 😱
Oh yea.. this is all 1 task that I never have to do again😂
Windows is useless for development you say? 🤔3 -
Wasn't so much a question but...
Before WFH got so popular, I was interviewing at a place 50km from home, loyalty and stuff came up and the guy said something along the lines of "The only potential problem I can see is the distance. Now I get the sense you're quite a loyal person blah blah blah"
Half way into my third month they decided not to keep me after probation, after giving no negative feedback at any point prior to that then "we just need someone mors senior"
So yea, tune me about loyalty and then do that....
Also, if they needed senior why were they advirtising junior?2 -
SeniorDev: “OMFG..MalwareBytes is taking up almost 50% of my CPU!”
Me: “Didn’t you have a virus on your machine couple of days ago?”
SeniorDev: “Uh..yea..but it was cleaned up.”
Me: “Your OS might have been compromised. If your antivirus is still busy doing something, then it may be time to start over with a fresh re-install.”
SeniorDev: “No, that’s not it. This is just BS our Network admins don’t want to fix because I’m not a VP”
Me: “I’m pretty sure they don’t care.”
-in as much of a ‘I’m kidding’ tone as I could -
Me: “They would care more if you stopped going to inappropriate web sites on the company computer.”
SeniorDev: “I never go to those sites. It was a link to a charity web site my wife sent me. You know how those sites are. They are built by college kids, so they have no security and was hijacked. That’s how I got the virus.”
Me: “You actually said that to Jim and he believed it?”
SeniorDev: “Well ...yea because….oh …–bleep- you.”
"Jim" sits about 50 feet away, popped his head over the cube wall and smiled. It was awesome. -
Oh man!!!
I have to uninstall my linux and go back to windows... But I dont want to... C++ in vim is soooooo much more productive...
But goddamm my gaming laptop and its nvidia optimus "technology"!!!!
DAAAMMMM YOOOUUUUU NVIDIA!!!!!!!
PS. Dual booting is a nightmare too with windows 10 so... Yea... Not gonna happen19 -
Eclipse, you lousy shit bitch of an ass hole - yeah I went there.
So I spent several hours today trying to get eclipse to:
1) just fucking launch without erroring out and crashing
2) actually work with a reasonable dark theme. (Yea right)
But no you hunk of shit, both of these seems nearly impossible for you. And just when I get you to work, the stupid fucking lack of syntax highlighting is just dreadful as fuck. If I didn’t have to use it for Salesforce development I sure as hell wouldn’t. -
Tried installing docker on windows today (for an experiment) and after it finally installs and goes to start up i get the hyper-v required, installing will prevent virtualbox from working.
Yea... FUCK NO! There goes that idea 😡3 -
!rant
print("Hello World!")
Erm..... Here goes nothing.
Hello everyone, I'm [REDACTED] from [REDACTED] in the SEA region. I'm a highschool student, 17, with a hobby of programming in Python 3 as a self-taught trial-and-error script kiddy, mostly small scripts from random "Yea I should do that, how long will it take?! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"-moments. I found DevRant while talking with people in a few programming Discord servers. Hope this is enough for a "Hello World!" post....and yea, welcome me to DevRant *pop confetti and hope not forced to clean up later*14 -
Need a new portfolio website to be approved by apple (yea I know...) so decided to build one based on me because I'm so vain. Made a pretty little terminal window that looks like my tmux theme because I can. Complete with stupid commands.
Best way of spending 3 hours 😂
Feel free to play with it! https://pedantic-bartik-8fb191.netlify.app/...
ps: the input selection is a bit buggy (bad UX) click the cursor if it doesn't type
repo if you're interested https://github.com/bashleigh/...
12 -
"Your password is too long or too short."
Uhmm yea... well is it so hard to check if it's either too long or too short and just to say both?3 -
I was not having much respect for out front-end developer, as the UI is not so good., yea. I know it UI depends on the designer.
Now the new design changed and our UI looks awesome.,
and I must say that my respect increased a lot when my pm asked him to fix the layout in UC Browser.
Fucking shit., in UC it is showing two lanes as one lane. I don't know why., he was working hard to fix that.
Massive Respect to him. I really happy by being backend dev.8 -
Someone (QCat) on devRant offered me to be his contact, it ended up with him teaching me a HUGE lot of stuff, enabling me to now code an operating system alongside him (o and I learned maths, formalism, biology, chemistry, game dev, REAL C++, drawing [I still suck at all of them though] )
So yea, thats it from my side2 -
That moment when you are just testing a web framework, you type some random text, open in browser, and Google asks whether it could translate it. Yea sure... go ahead! 😛
5 -
Just talked to a guy who codes microcontrolers in assembler. He wants to use a raspberry pi as an interface device between TCP and Serial port. He asked me how fast that would run over internet and I told him that it depends on the connection an other things it takes at least some milli secs to transmit.
He is like:
What the fuck do you mean milli secs?
I poll data on my 20 mhz controler every like micro sec or so and that Pi got 1Ghz.
Me like: Yea go fucking code that shit on your own with ASM.2 -
So pissed with MacOS , installing Ubuntu instead .
Don't take it personally yea for those apple fan
24 -
So my teacher wanted to play a movie cos the class got good test results, and so she asked me how to play a movie on her laptop and get it on the TV and this is how it went down...
Teacher: Sukhi, do you think you could help me.
Me: Yea sure, what do you need help with
Teacher: So I want to play a movie tomorrow but I don't know how to get it up on the TV
Me: Oh its easy just get a HDMI cable and plug your laptop into it.
Teacher: Oh yea I have like 6 of those. Ok then see ya tomorrow.
*The next day*
Teacher: Hey Sukhi, heres the HDMI cable. *Pulls out a AUX cord*
Me: *laughing and crying at the same time*2 -
!rant
Question time for you very few Salesforce devs out there, yea I know there’s some.
Seeing as Google is not my friend today, I’m trying to get SOQL to return null valued fields back to a rest api, something this hunk of shit won’t do, and short of looping back through all the records and injecting these fields back in, I’m at a loss... any advise is welcome 🤯 -
https://tagesschau.de/inland/...
What the fuck?
Yea, lets give the (in my opinion corrupt) police the full power to do just about everything - Oh and if you are not christian, bad for you we also put crosses everywhere you look now.
WHAT IN THE FUCKING FUCK? Why in the flying fuckworld is it possible to do such changes to the law without listening to "intelligent" (intelligent == people with a bit of common sense) people?
Same happened when europe wanted to give robots basic human rights (luckily they gave up on that after scientists wrote a paper)
This REALLY isnt a world I want to live in.17 -
Junior coders want to argue about database design saying an employee table in the database does not need a start date and end date because the requirements don't say that. I am doing gold plating he says. He didn't care that I had been doing this over 10 years and he 0 years. Oh yea and by the way I have never been given specific requirements about database design.4
-
spotted a huge bug 2 days before launch. My boss was panicking and he asked. "how long more you need?!" I look at him and almost said "Don't rush art" then I swallow my saliva and said "give me 2 hours" he said ok hurry up.
yea 2 hours after i find out what went wrong2 -
Time I made a friend... oh due to code?
Well yea let’s solve the first part of this first 😢
Actually I met my significant other putting my self through tafe (you aussies will know) nearly 10 years ago so I guess that counts 😎2 -
So I finally get code in Xcode able to compile and run after crashing in main()... due to obscure settings in it's build it does not like. Took hours of hunting around, googling, and used up all my craps table luck for the month.
Now, out of the blue, after a good 30 test run, edit, compile, run cycles... BOOM, the god damn thing starts crashing at before main() again. No friggin idea why.
Xcode says SIGABRT to me... yea well I got something for you Apple Xcode... 🖕🏼
1 -
!dev
Whoever the fuck wit coded the entire system for the university/college application information portal over here in my country needs to be hung, shot, hung again and shot.
It's **ABSOLUTE FUCKING GARBAGE** on the design. First we have the search box. It literally takes a good 20 seconds to query 1000 entries at low traffic and 3 MINUTES at high traffic. Bad enough? Because it would also take that long to give you a table of search result which is, I shit you not, identical to the drop-down results you get while typing except rendered inside a <table></table> with some overlay!
Oh, did I mention it didn't have partial match? Yea, IT DIDN'T. For example, "John Hurr Doe City" would not match "John Hurr Doe city" just to piss you off. And then we have the fuckers that do this:
- University A John Hurr Doe city
- University B JHD City
- University C JHD city
That and no partial match. Yea. It's BS.
Also. if you wanna search again after view a school, you have to press "Back", the physical "Back" of the browser. Fair, it's good, but if you press anything other than that button, welll, you're fucked although lightly.
The cherry on top of the rant cone? The whole thing is made by the studentfucking Ministry of Education and Training, the mother of overlord of students. Yea. The fucking Ministry itself. Really. You wanna go "catch up with the world and master the 4.0 Industrial Revolution" and yet you can't fucking code the site properly. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck your horse you're riding and probably fuck you as well.
Sorry for getting slightly political at the end, the damn page is getting on my nerve. -
Running a wild UPDATE statement against an inventory database, it was chaotic and didn't have backups.... yea I know 😅 the backup service died god knows when and no one noticed. I was only new at the time so #notMyFault
UPDATE stock_on_hand = 0; WHERE id IN(1,2,3,4,5,88,972,7388);
# rows affected 1,234,567,890
> I think I almost died inside.
Oh the fun that mess was to clean up.
The positive outcome of this was, we had backups working again not long after and the inventory counts where accurate after that stock take.3 -
Me: do you even know what computer programming is?
Person: agh yea... its when you program a computer...4 -
Spent all morning trying to write a JSON parser in Python just to get a bit of practice (technical interview next week).
After an hour or more... Didn't get far and finally gave up...
Then I remember Python has a built-in json module... (yea no need to write in myself).
Since libraries are just py files, I open the source code... And wow!
All the public methods are nicely documented with informative comments and descriptions.
But then I look at the method calls and .... I don't understand what it's doing....
.............................. ☹️🙁😖😢😭😧😰😱3 -
A couple of days ago I needed a RS232 to USB adaptor.
Went to a store:
Me: Do yo have any RS232 to USB adaptor?
Him: Only to USB-C
Me: Ok... Now I just need a USB -> USB-C adaptor
Him: But what kind of TV do you want to connect?
Me: Wait. WHAT?
Him: Yea, you want a VGA to USB? Why do you need that?
Me: No, RS232, I don't need VGA...
Him: Ah... ok, no... we don't have any...
(Funny story... almost the same happened in 3 stores in a row....)
fml8 -
Wtf is the point of closing a project submission at a specific time. Yea sure let me know it’s late but if I want to post the file late let me. I was 8 seconds late to post a file for a project and it locked me out. Sure they say no late work but this is a stupid policy. Also, why is it due at 4am? No body is looking at these at 4am! Just make it due at 6 or 8am or something. Gaaa18
-
NEW TALES FROM THE FUCKING CRYPT. It's disgusting...
... how managers keep to invest money into totally useless gadgets at the company to keep themselves motivated with stupid toys, tech and gear. WHY in fucks name would you not spend the money on hiring more devs and a dev consultant?
It's funny how they presented the stats first: "yea well we have ten big projects in dev right now" (we are FIVE FUCKING PEOPLE, tells you everything, right) "... BUT WE HAVE BOUGHT NEW SCOOTERS FOR THE COMPANY!".
Ok... why though? Who would actually use those things except the ones that bought them. Just another way of spending more money to reduce the promised employee return on the company's profit...2 -
Corporation.
Meeting with middle level managers.
Me - data scientist, saying data science stuff, like what accuracy we have and what problems with performance we managed to solved.
Manager 1: Ok, but is this scrum?
Manager 2: No they're using kanban.
Manager 3: That's no good. We should be using DevOps, can we make it DevOps?
So yea, another great meeting I guess..4 -
Working on a new project at work; all_of_a_sudden boss goes:
"A client needs the current software to do this thing, can u do it"
Me: "Yea, sure"
One week later: "Yea, Im not feeling this, can we change this, that, and--what the heck is that?"
Me: "😑 aaaaa the exact changes u wanted"
Boss:"Well, lets change (A list of stuff and new things added)
Me: Sigh....4 -
Any devrant-ers at the Kansas City Developer's Conference (kcdc) right now? Right now = July 12th & 13th, 2018.
If you see me, I'm that guy who just grabbed a handful of life saver mints at the vendor booth. Yea...*that* guy.
Rant? Only thing so far is the heat (air conditioning can't keep up with the outside) and breakfast (see attached). I guess some people call that breakfast, but I suppose its better than nothing.
-
So, basically what happened today was:
A classmate asked me if I could hack him some money in online games. Later on he saw me using an FTP Client and saied: "Whoa, if I was as good as you I would totally use my skills to hack something!!!"
Yea... no.
(Writing this I turned of aurocorrect cause it's pissing me of when writing english)14 -
So I'm on vacation in the Harzgebirge, it's evening and I want to watch something on Crunchyroll.
aEuGh We BlOcKeD yOuR ASN.
Yea turns out they've got the hotel WiFi on a blacklist.
Oh sorry, no-no-list.21 -
Yea it’s totally cool. Dropping a conference call on me 30 minutes before it happens. And then you (and everyone else in the call) should be late too. And then do this stuff all the damn time and ask me why I have to push the deadline back. But get super pissy when I give you a realistic deadline that factors these bullshit experiences in!
Then after I wait 10 minutes on the line, tell me it’s been moved to the bottom of the hour which doesn’t really leave me enough time to do anything but play on DevRant. Fucking insanity.1 -
I was asked to check something today that was handed over on a USB stick. "Could you check that the file structure is correct". Of course I said. Then I prepared my camera, changed the insides of the stick to my rubber ducky, wrote a little script and uploaded it. Oh yea and corrected the structure.
The face of the colleague was priceless when I brought back the stick and he sticked it right into his computer.
The script was roughly:
- open browser
- open history
- search "porn"
- select second row
- enter
=D office pranks <32 -
Me: *joins devRant once again*
"Wow this community is surely active! Better check frequently to keep up!"
*checks two times in 6 hours*
"Yea it was weekend. Probs everyone is getting their hands in a dirty pile of compileable code or a spaghetti of jQuery."
So, how is your day/night so far?25 -
Less stress.. No panic.. And yea.. Beer. Drink beer if you're really stressed... Helps me out everytime..
By the way I am drinking beer as I write this..
10 -
Another Developer: bro, shit hit the fan. The x web service is throwing some error. Can you take a look please. I want to go home. I'm tired.
Me: Yea sure bro no worries.
Another Developer: I go pee, after that I will delegate the ticket to you.
(Another Developer goes to the washroom)
Me: (04:59 PM) Oh time to pack-up and get the fuck out of here
Me: (05:08 PM) Receive a message on Viber from Another Developer. It reads "Fuck you, I'm going to rub my balls on your desk"3 -
! rant
Today has been a good day.
Woke up telling myself I should make a build for my game to see how it perform (didn't do a single one in several months). Was expecting some issues like always. But everything built on first try, on Windows and Linux (which is a fist attempt for the later).
So yea, today has been a good day 😎 -
person: do you know any sites that can help with blah blah blah
me: yea one sec
me: here ya go https://blahblah.blah
person: is this a virus ?
me: no it's a site that will help you with blah
person: i'm not gonna click on that because i don't wanna get a virus.
me: but it's not a virus you can't get a virus just by clicking a link you would actually have to download something and execute it.
person: oh okay but i still don't trust it
me: uhhh okay
person : so are you gonna help me or what ?
me : ..................*scream internally*
person: okay fine your not gonna help me8 -
Conversation yesterday (senior dev and the mgr)..
SeniorDev: "Yea, I told Ken when using the service, pass the JSON string and serialize to their object. JSON eliminates the data contract mismatch errors they keep running into."
Mgr: "That sounds really familiar. Didn't we do this before?"
SeniorDev: "Hmmm...no. I doubt anyone has done this before."
Me: "Yea, our business tier processor handled transactions via XML. It allowed the client and server to process business objects regardless of platform. Partners using Perl,
clients using Delphi, website using .aspx, and our SQLServer broker even used it."
Mgr: "Oh yea...why did we stop using it?"
Me: "WCF. Remember, the new dev manager at the time and his team broke up the business processor into individual WCF services."
Mgr: "Boy, that was a crap fest. We're still fighting bugs from the mobile devices. Can't wait until we migrate everything to REST."
SeniorDev: "Yea, that was such a -bleep-ing joke."
Me: "You were on Jake's team at the time. You were the primary developer in the re-write process saying passing strings around wasn't the way true object-oriented developers write code.
So it's OK now because the string is in JSON format or because using a JSON string your idea?"
SeniorDev turns around in his desk and puts his headphones back on.
That's right you lying SOB...I remember exactly the level of personal attacks you spewed on me and other developers behind our backs for using XML as the message format.
Keep your fat ass in your seat and shut the hell up.3 -
So I recently wacthed Prison Break
Right in the beginning, Michael takes the hdd out of his computer and throws it out the window
Me: Yea he should've dismantled that drive and thrown the pieces away in different places
Then later on someone else is trying to figure his plan and finds the drive and recovers data. Yea.. what did I say?6 -
So I log into a great new site with my development machine. 64G of RAM, and 2 hex core CPU's; GTX 1070 video, SSD, etc. 4K display screen. (Motherboard is 5 years old, not trying to brag, just give context). I regularly put 8 pages of text on the screen side by side. Split ergonomic keyboard.
It wants me to load a mobile app for "full access".
Yea, why look at the world with wide open eyes when you can view everything through a cardboard toilet paper tube and type with your thumbs???
== John == -
Me: Why are we spending time building reports for Support? AFAIK they never read or use them.
Boss: Seems they expect you to do it.
Me: Then what exactly are they supposed to be doing? All the issues seem to just escalate back to us.... We should just make sure issues never get into PROD
Boss: I agree, they're always firefighting... we gave them more funding so eventually they should catch up **Me: I highly doubt it, you should just stop hiring monkeys** esp. if we prevent PROD issues.
Me: Yea... we should prevent production issues because someone always has to pay off the (technical) debt and interest rates in PROD are very high6 -
A client asked me to include a GA tracking code into her website,
I said yea I'll add it for you, just send me the code snippet please :)
she sent me the URL to google analytics login page....
I told her that I need the code snippet not the URL.
She replied: yah that's what I sent.
Me:...2 -
!rant
Oh yea. Got an interview on the first try to the best devshop in town. Exited! Let's hope our interests meet. Applying for the first time in 10 years. Feels like going on a first date. =D5 -
Me: "can you please send my credentials for the database?"
Hosting provider: "Yea sure... We will set it up on our servers in no time"
*5 mins later: provider sends mail to me*
Me: *looks at mail*
Also me: *NOTHING TO DO HERE*
Congrats to jweiland.net for not being able to support their customers.
2 -
me: * is on Devrant at school*
teacher: what's devrant ?
me: it's where I go to complain about you
teacher: ...
yea. so fun story, my first computer science class I took freshman year where I knew more about programming than the teacher, not to mention most of the people in that class had 0 interest in actually learning computers8 -
Aaaaaw fuck yea. I'm finally at my mother's, for my first holidays since late December 2017, and I FINALLY can sleep as much as I want without being bothered. I just slept 30+ hours in 3 days, which is close to what I sleep in a week. Still tired though, but I feel so much more relaxed than the evening I arrived at my mom's place 3 days ago *.*
-
Y'all know those classes where you get 100s on the assignments and understand the material, and participate in class discussions, but get low 50s on the tests?
yea. Fuck those classes.4 -
Well that's it folks,
Australia has started to shutdown and become the isolated island it once was again, even more so with states shutting down independently.
Atleast we have the intern -
fuck, got to reboot the modem... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
where was i, oh yea -
internet right? It's not like the NBN wasn't designed to have every fucking Aussie using it at once or anything 🙄
https://abc.net.au/news/2020-03-22/...5 -
"We need to have a meeting to clarify your role"
My head: Just give me a raise and then leave me alone
My mouth: Yea, sure. When works for you
Context:
My job is a little confusing.
My title on paper is support technician and I'm on the DevOps team but I have my own project to automate health checks. So most the accurate title for me would actually be Automation Developer Attached To [department name] DevOps1 -
why is everyone hating on python lately?
I know it's not perfect, and it takes care of a lot of shit for you. and it's slow, and doesn't have a decent compiler, and PEP 8 encroaches on everything good in the world, and mandatory whitespace, etc.
yea. it's got some issues. but it's still a good language imo. and it's easy to write, it's fun to write, it looks nice (not Ruby level nice but ehh). not worthy of all the "fuck python!" talk.21 -
PM: "Can you take a look at this app and see if you can find why it's producing errors and fix it"
Me: "Yea sure, can I see the documentation so I might be able to understand the system and why it's doing that?"
PM: "There's no documentation" ... "Also it was cowboy coded by an intern" -
One of my students failed one of the necessary tasks for exam admittance, then handed in the next one (even a bit too late via email instead of uploading it properly lol). Then I reminded him that he already failed the course and that I cant accept his solution, thinking he might not have read my previous evaluation?
"oh yea, that's right, i remember now!"
I mean like.. how do you forget something like that?!?!6 -
Yea...I built the system. That doesn't mean I want to spend all day using it to perform administrative tasks for you and your team. I only have permissions to do things because it's the nature of the beast...not because I should be assigning leads, granting permissions, etc. Please! Someone take the reins and use the shit I built!3
-
Convo I had 5 minutes with someone a just met at school
Them: what are you studying?
Me: computer science, what about you?
Them: so you know how to make websites?
Me: yea I have a couple years of experience in web dev but I like IT and automation more
Them: can I send you my white paper? Would u be ok with making a website for it?
Me: ....... potentially?
Thought it was weird they wanted me to do that for them when I just met them4 -
CoWorker: “Yea then just use double inheritance to grab the methods off the two classes.”
Me: “Yea that doesn’t seem right... the first object is a string parser the second object predicts future occurrences...”
CoWorker: [louder] “No trust me, I’m taking a developer course right now. If you inherit both classes your new class can use all the needed methods!”
Me: “Okay, go for it bro.”
So tired of people who think they know what they’re doing...4 -
Me: Did you notice <application> is doing <bug>?
Best co-worker: Hmmm yea, I noticed.
Me: It must be because of <faulty implementation>.
Best co-worker: Yeah, don't worry I'll correct it.
Me: *moves on happily to other things* -
Friend: can you take a look at my code, there’s this bug that I’m having trouble with.
Me: yea sure.
Friend shows me IntelliJ with the default white theme...
Me: WTF man, my eyes are burning.
Never looking at his code again. At least until he changes to a dark theme.3 -
I remember when Android brought new innovative functionality and the play store offered hundreds of apps to customize your phone and so on. (Compared to my previous phone)
Now I feel like every new version, if it's Android or iOS, just adapts more to fit the common user. The apps I mentioned still exist but the store offers your trends that - yea, suck (hello social networks)! It's not a phone with new features anymore but a phone that's better for fucking braindeads. And I dislike that. I am not the common user.6 -
I’m really struggling to see WHY IN THE HELL it was necessary to delete my FUCKING NETWORK PROFILES to update this FRUIT FUCKED ALUMINUM SHIT BOX!
How did they test this and be like, oh, yea, you can’t connect automatically to ANY of the WiFi networks you have saved, because we deleted all the network profiles. That is acceptable, it won’t cause anyone any real problems.
Sure you need to update some shit. But why are you even touching that part of the disk? Damn you filthy lying fruit fuckers! -
Tomorrow are is my final exam in english (I'm a german).
So what did I do today?
Learning...? A bit.
RegEx...? Heck yea!9 -
Too lazy to come up with a better name...
Yea... the app still works...
5th time editing the crawler logic... 2 years now?
13 -
Next Wednesday, I have a project presentation at my school, where me and a fellow student will show to a jury a project we worked on for at least 6 months (and also that the 3rd dude in my team did absolutely nothing). This means that at the end of this, we'll get a diploma, which means the end of my fucking studies that took me 7 years.
The same day, I have my 3rd job interview with a company, in which I expect to either sign a contract or to get back the contract a few days after.
I'm both overwhelmed and shitting my pants.2 -
Make a change, test it out. Nothing changes.
Make a change, test it out. Nothing changes.
Make a change, test it out. Nothing changes. Sigh.
Make a change, test it out. It changed! Yea!
But still not right.
Make a change, test it out....3 -
Fuck me, I lost my motivation AGAIN!
I mean, yea, this is a big project and I alone am obviously not enough workforce to do it, but I at least hoped for a prototype. And instead of writing anything like that, I end up writing all sorts of unnecessary modules and wrappers for game engine functions. Grrr.3 -
Fucking android framework. Sucks my huge ass balls. What is wrong with the people that wrote this?
You implement a fba and hide it when the recyclerview in the corresponding is scrolled down.
Then you change to API level 25 and they fucking decide it would be a good idea to refuse to send the onNestedScroll when the visibility for a fba is set to GONE which is itself not bad, but they also think setting the visibility for the fba when you call the hide() method to... yea you guessed it FUCKING GONE would be an amazing decision. Oh yea you smart ass nice decision I'm so glad you did it.5 -
Hell yea, gotta finish my prep project for my bachelor's thesis so I've been coding every day since the beginning of the holidays.
To be perfectly honest with you I love it! It's like a 9-5 job, no classes at uni, just work and coffee breaks and I even got to go back to my parent's house for two weeks which is wonderful.
I wish that uni could always be like that though, gotta make the most of those two weeks1 -
yeah I am a software engineer.
yea I am a programmer too.
yeah I am behind my laptop all the time..
but no I don't want to fix your computer.
I have no interest in changing your windows, installing antivirus on your pc and so on..
just understand it , God damn these shit people :( -
Y'all know when you first hear about interrupts? Maybe on an arduino or something when you're just getting started and learning?
Yea after suffering enough trying to get ISRs running on an x86 just to get keyboard input going, I can safely and securely confirm it's all going downhill.
I love you all.8 -
Me: *opens devTools*
Firefox: yea bro lemme just ..uh.. hmm yeah so this is the css for the element, see?
Me: Thanks.
Me:
Me: this makes no sense, why would I ever do that?
Firefox: also you can't have width on an anchor tag. I can't put that rule into effect
Me: I didn't put any width on your inline element, you sure about that?
Firefox: yea try using display: inline-block
Me: No. I'll just delete that. *checks file*
Me: Maybe that line is wrong because IT DOES NOT FUCKING EXIST!
What is this shit? I just restarted you! What else do you need, a reinstall? Drink too much over the holidays?
It's like the css editor has become a shallow tray with rules on it, and as soon as you bump it a little everything spills over and then Firefox just thinks oops, I've got this font-size: 200% lying around, lemme stick this into the hr tag which makes sense because THERE CAN'T BE ANY TEXT IN IT.
9 -
Yea sure, I'd like to refactor your fucking 1000 loc spagetti code "module" with no documentation at all...3
-
wow... the regular react community sucks...
where with react-native 3rd party libraries/components have very clear and detailed docs, the normal react libs out there are like:
20K starred component
"here is a .txt file with some props, TS? yea we use it, but everything is just set to ?: any"
quite the shame :/3 -
Thinking of using Xamarin for the development of a mobile app for a side project. Yea or nay? Android and iPhone.4
-
Client be like:
Hello,
could you please restore our database from today's backup?
At a first glance - nothing out of the ordinary. Daily backups are standard...
Until we get the backed up snapshot running.
MySQLDump is somehow... Stuck. It... Doesn't seem to be doing... Like, anything. For ages. Wtf.
So we check the database. Connect, change scheme and... The commandline tool gets stuck, too. Weird.
So a layer lower, we check the datadir and... ls... After also getting stuck for a bit, lists about 500k files O_o
Yea, dumping a database with roughly ~250k tables is not fun. No wonder it takes ages.8 -
CoWorker: so when are you going to be out?
Me: taking 1 week off Oct 1. I need a break from production issues and all these critical tasks...
CW: ah OK yea, you deserve it. So where you going?
Me: well I'm planning to just stay home unless the weather is really nice. I'm going to try React Native to build a mobile app and maybe look for some open source projects... O yes gotta look into my investments too...
CW: Oohhhh... Ok.... (We go on talking about Trump and why somehow the markets haven't crashed yet...)2 -
So I just spent 2 hours debugging a script that fetches data from an API. Thats all it was supposed to do. Http get some data.
It wasnt working and was giving a "parse error". Worked fine in browser.
So it turns out it was using http 0.9 (first documented http version, defined in 1991) and wasnt sending any headers. And js cant do no headers...
So yea I now have to write a tcp / http 0.9 client in js10 -
0) Because it's kind of Magic.
1) Love solving complex/small problem using this magic.
2) It's frustrating as well as exciting when magic is not working.
So yea it's kinda magical and doesn't matter which language you do magic in. -
At first glance, this week's group rant seems perfect for me since I have drunk coded at least 2 to 3 times per month (my TGIFs are usually followed by Saturday morning demo meetings).
However I cannot say I have had any particular "worst" code that I have done so far.
Yea I once formatted and installed some linux distro while drunk and couldn't remember the login info the next morning.
Yea I once exported, imported between dbs from prod and local while drunk and lost this and that data.
Yes I once decided to organize my repositories and somehow deleted some repos without any backup while I was drunk.
I was fine. I somehow solved my way out by either bullshitting or being quiet or fixing without any sleep. Most of the times nobody really comprehend the extent of my actions. So I was fine. Hence I really don't have any particular worst drunk coding experience yet.
Best drunk coding experience?
Well I do not agree that coding while drunk is a pleasurable or fun thing to do. So I don't really have that either.
This week's topic is actually a very tough one although it might seem easy. -
Almost finished yet.. Yea the power supply is on the wrong side, but it looks way cooler! #BlueLED
4 -
So yesterday I made a rant about my tablet taking a shit and going bye bye. Well, today I'd like to introduce my new Lenovo Ideapad 110 Touch 15ACL with
An AMD A8 8GB RAM processor
1TB HDD
Window 10 Pro OS
Yea im not going to list everything thats too much
7 -
For the past 5+ years all I’ve heard from DevA and DevB is what a mess our source control is, we should be using our own custom nuget feeds,..Monday morning quarterback this…Monday morning quarterback that.
This year the department manager gave them the green light to start from scratch. Like ‘green field’ start from scratch. If I were involved, I would have been excited with such an opportunity.
For the past two hours all I’ve heard is ..
DevA: “What should we call this namespace?”
DevB: “I don’t know, I can’t make that decision.”
DevA: “Yea, that’s a business decision. Let’s call it Common for now.”
DevB: “Yea, it’s stupid, but we can change it later.”
DevA: “What about logging project?”
DevB: “Well, how about Core? Every project should have a Core.”
DevA:”Ha ha…like .Net Core. I like it.”
On and on…it’s all I can do from throwing my chair right now.1 -
Fuck yea!
We'll cancel our 1&1 internet contract —
And move to QuiX.
Countryside internet is shit. And QuiX builds fiberglass (or so) on countryside while stupid ass telekom only dares to enrich cities with fast internet connection.
And no I'm being paid by QuiX to say this. I don't know, maybe they suck but since I am a gamer in need of fast internet, I'm excited at least..3 -
Today I've confirmed that there actually are real developers that aren't monkeys in my company and team.
Me: {discussing how to fix something, he said we will use some new tech} ... So how do you up with all this latest tech?
Him: https://www.thoughtworks.com/radar
Me; Thanks! I was thinking it was just a web dev skill :) I mean looking at it package.json, I always think how can someone pick all these modules for a single app... And there's always a new JS framework.
Him: You goto sleep knowing be day will bring new frameworks to keep up on :D
So yea there are actually people here that actually know what they're doing... -
I was trying to Commit but hit Start Debugging instead...
Yea those buttons are really far apart... guess I need sleep.1 -
Yea... it's not at all obvious I have my nose buried in a book and constantly tapping at the keyboard to run tests for how I might work out this problem. Now is an excellent time to repeat my name over and over, since I've been trying to ignore it, until I look up at you, just so you can show me that hilarious giphy thingy you found.1
-
I forgot about October...
Now those November deadlines look more reasonable.
I realized because I was checking when is get my mail-in ballot and apparently it needs to be returned by Nov 3. And well today is Sep 17...
It also recommended sending it back 2wks before which would be like now.
So I had a melt down like wtf, I didn't get it yet!!!
And then well... Yea...10 -
The car I bought last week cost R10 000 (South African Rand) less than the house my parents bought in 1999...
Yea inflation is wack4 -
The mechanical team once told me, hey I want this feature on the software - sure it will take approx 1 week. Yea I know, but I want it without any bugs.
WTF?? They sure got some f words from me. 😅1 -
That javascript ecosystem is pretty fucking neat.
Yea we got problem with certain tools like `npm`， but threw is so much shit that comes out， in a matter of month you have solutions springing up for those obstacles.
Its pretty fucking beautiful ;) -
Me: Yea, Linux is great! Screw Windows!
*Touchpad stops working on startup
Me: It's fine, it could happen on Windows...
*Laptop fans start blasting at 100% during class
Me: It's uhh, probably just a simple thing, nothing to worry about....
*Restarts computer after updating. Screen completely black, even after restarting multiple times.
Me: Oh FFS....4 -
Me: Yea, I'm having a good day. Sun's shining, Birds are singing. I'm really enjoying my lunch.
Errors on the build I started before lunch:
-
Yo guys any idea how does Netflix blocks screenshots? Yea not technically disable it, but yea you know what I mean. Any idea?4
-
Whoever came up with the idea that a chat application should make that god-awful, annoying, high pitched, ping sound, second in annoyance only to a mosquito buzzing in my ear; every time someone sends me a message, is destined for the seventh circle of hell.
Yea I'm looking at you IBM. At least add in a damn mute button for your application. I spent 10 literal minutes searching for a mute notification sounds button in the settings screen, which looks like it was designed in 1990 btw. Found jack.
So thanks to you lovely people, I have to mute my entire laptop and I can't listen to songs on it anymore.2 -
I got enough prior warning about windows updates from this lovely group. So I clicked on restart and update and left for work.
Came home after a few hours and logged in.
Windows: Restart and update (exclamation icon).
Me: Yea sure, gimme a sec. *Proceeds to download Linux* -
Holy shit I just figured out a pretty decent (and way to complex) workaround to implement specialization in Rust, I'm so hyped2
-
"itseems like you know something about computers"
"Yea!", You haven't got the slightest idea, mortal!1 -
Context: ive been porting a single threaded D.A.G scheduler into a lockless multithreaded one. Point is its an objectively complicated project where theres lots of overlap in the code and architectural boundaries are very fuzzy.
My boss: "Can you just make new branches for every 'large' change youve done. Its too hard to merge this one giant branch youve got"
Me: "Fuck bro, but this is 2 months worth of significant refactoring where the commits are not atomic and you told me way back then that it was cool to work in my own repo. Now ive got to go redo half my work"
Boss: "Well yea but isnt it so much better to work with clearly seperated histories"
Me: "yea its great if you tell me thats the workflow you want upfront. This is gonna suck but ill but my balls and dive into this pit of lava if u say." -
!rant
Went from uni to my car to drive back home. Engine doesn't start, And report of low oil level is showing up. Hmmm. I've opened hood and checked oil level. It was empty. First thought. I drove here with no oil so I broke the engine. Great... I bought some oil and refiled it. Still same problem. I've called my insurance company and my mechanic. And then. Brilliant thought evolved. Did I turned off ignition on secret switch today? Yea it was it. Had to call everybody again and cancel my AC request. Gosh, I hate having memory of golden fish...
Also. Hi everybody. my first !rant3 -
!rant
So, I've been working on a new project, it's basically a java library/package/jar with a lotta nice gadgets and stuff in.
The current functionality is limited, but will expand more as time goes on.
Right now it's able to:
apply ARGB filters to images (changing ARGB values), save objects in files on disk(Serializer/Deserializer), send emails with working create/load/unload configuration-system which saves a user-config to a file, loads and works with it, but the most coolest thing...
random char generation MY GOOOODDD
yea just wanted to post this cuz im rly proud2 -
why.... why on this freaking earth would you go an enable Hypervision on me?
seriously #Windows, you are starting to drive me over the edge.
theres nothing like powering up a centos server - yea not even a DE, (that had no issues yesterday) and getting "VT-x is not available".
the last thing im going to think to look at is you enabling your bullshit despite it was already disabled, -
Yea. I am writing a paper using Grammarly and this popped up for a sentence I wrote. I guess I plagiarized... NOT. I am not even writing a C#/VB.NET paper...
11 -
I'm currently doing project in Java using JavaFX for GUI and after like 6 months I found out we can bind textfields to variables(yea,dumb me) and I got more than 20 forms so of course, binding is useful than that getText method. So I think there are many things like this which will help me to optimize my code but I dont know, so can anyone tell me more stuff like this?
I'm using MongoDb so I'm currently finding easiest way to make Bson document from textfield values. Any suggestions?
(Sorry, for my bad English)1 -
UPDATE ON E REPO: it's back up? I don't know what happened but I couldnt find it 2 days ago and now is back. So yea. It's archived but I have a form of it if anyone wants to check it out.
-
i was trying to explain my vision of a client's site to him without using any technical terms, so the most used term was "thingy", "there gonna be a lil thingy here, a thing for login and stuff there, yea all that, got it, the theme gon be blue [...]".
-
spent two weeks fixing a solution for designer who constantly changes his mind...
manager takes one look at it and says it's too complicated and proceeds to change it to something simple which completely ignores all of designers specifications...
designer no longer cares about his specifications...
I guess this means I shouldn't care about specifications...
yea right... -
I just draw for hours and play games. Sometimes I play the piano (very rarely now, idk where to progress in play by ear). Currently I'm learning spoken languages (Japanese, sorry not fan of anime, just finding something to learn, I did deutsch and russian at first but failed so yea.)
-
Me: "tokens are not mined in general, instead there are gas fees"
Them: "you will charge us for gas fees?"
Me: "no that's not us, that's the decentralized network doing that"
Them: "but we are using hyperledger to generate tokens."
Me: "yea in theory there are no gas fees, but you now have to manage the decentralized network"
Them: "i see, so since there is only probably 2 or 4 in the network, do we still charge ourselves? how do we define gas fees?"
(You don't see...)
Me: "i don't think there are gas fees"
Them: "got it, who set the gas fees"
(Um you don't got it...)
Me: "https://stackoverflow.com/questions..." -
So this is kinda hard to talk about but.. I finally got to a point in my career where I don't have a boss, work remote, make my own schedule etc.. problem is .. I am very low on productivity I feel like I'm working maybe 1/10th of my capacity and although Yea this may sound dream-like .. it gets old and I'm realizing that I used to excel at my last job for my boss.. I wanted to please him in every way for validation and acceptance..
Yea that's dysfunctional as fuck .. so basically how the hell do i use my own mind to drive my excellence? I'm so lost and don't really know how to find the motivation that people pleasing once brought me..
For some context as well, I have also done a lot of psychedelics over the past couple years and it has basically destroyed my ego .. "but that's a good thing" you say?
Well yes and no, I used to rely on my ego to drive me on my own in lieu of wanting acceptance and validation from my boss. So that was a bit unexpected, getting rid of my ego got rid of my dysfunctional drives to prove myself to others and seek acceptance..
Gahh I'm ranting :'D
TL;DR: how do you motivate yourself if you've traditionally found motivation through pleasing others???4 -
This just in, a message from firstparty watching the customer test what we did:
"the chines client has a problem with the Picture of the Map (at Team).
Becaus of the policital situation in china he asked to remove the blue highlighted border and only show the neutral map.
Since Daniel is in holidays, can you do that? If not, can we than just remove the picture, an replace at with a chinese flag please?"
I saw that, and chuckled, thinking "oh yea, i almost forgot for a moment that china is ass hoe".1 -
Oh joy,
I got the short straw and get the privilege of building our new website.
I really don't know PHP very well, but apparently everyone else says they know it less.
Yea! Holiday weekend. NOT!!!! :(4 -
heck yea, started my first real React Native project. It's called R8 I stole the idea from @n3xus because in lazy and have nothing else to do. If you wanna check out my progress or fix my anything I can't fucking do, go to my GitHub, retrax24.2
-
I've worked 16 hours per day for 3 days just because the Diwali was coming and there were too many holidays, so they kinda peeled me hard....
They decided to deliver things in 2-3 days which was supposed to be 18 days with proper planning and QA but yea fuck everything...... -
Everyone loves freebies!
So solicited spam time 😎
Developer Nation is running a survey to gain insights, explore trends and track developer experiences across platforms, languages, revenue models, verticals, tools, segments and regions.
Yea ok, it's a massive questionnaire, but did I mention the freebies?
https://developereconomics.net//...7 -
Only upgraded a library by one MINOR version (0.24.0 to 0.25.0) then my tests going all RED! And it's google.
Yea so I just pin my requirements.txt to previous version.
Non backward-compatible library is so annoying.2 -
aw yea, don’t you love it when they cancel the programming section of the computer science gcse and change around the course while you’re 3/4 of the way through it
http://bbc.co.uk/news/...6 -
So the guy who sits next to me in my class uses white theme for his IDE.
Me: So, you use white theme.
Him: Yea, I like it. So much better than darker ones. Don't know why people like it. Does it bothers you too?
Me: Pfft, no!
Me inside:
7 -
You must have seen the future - ready things but have you seen the future.
Well witness the future with Jio !!!
Magazines availability : March 2018
I mean : Oh yea !!!!
1 -
My dev team needs team building activities (not necessarily dev related, but yea.) Any suggestions?14
-
Next weekly rant will be about what demotivates us most...
Yea so my rant: REWRITING MY FUCKING NN FOR THE FUCKING THIRD TIME8 -
Got involved into a conversation/debate.
Said something as argument.
Opponent repeat with a 'yea' and plus what I just said as his argument naturally (amazing) and expect my response.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? -
Definitely the time when already had the job and had been getting no negative feed back or anything, then suddenly half way through the third month of my three month probation "Yea, we're not keeping you"1
-
Last year, I wasn't able to make something theorically simple with CSS3 animations and ReactJS. Last night, I made it work with VueJS (and CSS3 animations yeah). Feels. So. Fuckin. Good.3
-
Everyone on my team now seems to to agree with everything I say about things we should do.
This sorta gives me the greenlight to go ahead and do it but makes me wonder if it's now the equivalent to "yea, yea, yea... Now go away" and they won't follow along once I've done it. -
Crypto! I've always thought of crypto as some complicated black box! How does it work, but then I did the cryptopals challenge and learned to exploit cryptography. What to do with this new found knowledge? Write new libraries and ransomware of course! So I present two projects that taught me a lot!
Pydhe, possibly the first(!!!) Open source diffie Hellman library for python. (Yea I know openssl, but they don't let you do diffie hellman without TLS. I do!) https://github.com/deadPix3l/pyDHE
And Cryptsky! One of the first ever fully python, opensource ransomware! (Again caveat, most open source python ransomware isn't truely licensed as OSS or uses some lower functions written in C)
https://github.com/deadPix3l/... -
!rant
wow... so just finished watching the last episode of Naruto...
I haven't watched though since they beat that final boss thing, thought it was all filler/side stories like Bleach... But yea, did I miss anything good? Was there a build up to the final ep?1 -
A: Do you know Big O?
B: Yea I know Big O. Who doesn't know Big O?
A: So what's the Big O of X?
B: It's ....
A: Oh what about Y?
B: Oh that has a bigger Big O.
A: Hm... how about this one?
B: That's a really big Big O. Why not use mine?
A: Ooh that looks impressive, very small. So which Big O should we use?
B: Well there's a constant trade off, even though small is good, in this case I think the bigger one works better.4 -
Wondering if Linuxxx fixed his SQL join problem yet... But I've just finished most of my app. Now I just need to start using it and see whether it's a keeper...
https://github.com/allanx2000/...
I changed the name though as you can see.
Now why can't work be this fun...
O yea ideas for icon?
-
Hypothesis:
We may be able to determine if simple identities exist (say linked by a single variable or coefficient) for some subset of a set of variables S by comparing elements of the set and finding cardioid symmetries among them.
Yea or nay?
If someone is more familiar with the math and polar coordinates, I'd be grateful for your input.
https://pythontic.com/visualization...13 -
"90's kids are impatient developers and change job too often" is a phrase I hear often from other managers... The thing I always tell is, generations will clash and yea, we grew up wanting to work in awesome places developed by the marketers mind. How can we reach a better agreement? I have no idea!
Just want to wish you all a merry Xmas and keep on ranting!!8 -
so yea, ive been emailing japanese professors to take me in as their grad student. but theyre not accepting new international students for 2021 AY maybe because of covid.
this is sad, i need to be there next year. but things arent going well.
my plan B is to become a research fellow at my current uni after i graduate next year, get some research published and fortify my arsenal for 2022 academic year.1 -
I created a backend thing (mvc) yea all that stuff, Controllers, services, models, views and all that. No i turned out that i also need to do the frontend aswell. Last time i did that was >10 years ago, there was no jquery, angularJS and stuff...
Well ok ill give it a try with angularjs and Wow now i can again create models, Controllers, services, views. Wtf lol
Its like an inception, i wonder when there will be a framework for creating cooler views in angularJS -
Yea we programmers sometimes bitch about errors and bugs but let's be honest that is what keeps this "specie" alive. 😄
-
everytime when i meet with my friends and they ask me if what course i'm currently taking and of course i'm gonna answer back "IT"
(~) what i say in my mind
statements that will suddenly pop into conversation
-"can you (reformat, fix, update, etc.) my pc/laptop"
~.......
-"wow smart"
~oh stahp it, youuu
-"don't forget to treat us when you graduate, i heard jobs in your field have great salaries"
~gezzus i'm still a student and i am struggling, then you want me to treat you.
-"hey man, can you build me a website (for free)"
~yea dude, let me ask genie to snap that wish of yours
-"oh so you must be good with computers?"
~yea i treat them well, i tell them bedtime stories and feed them with milk and cookies
-"nice....."
~the long silence makes this even more awkward
-"hey man, i code and design too, maybe we can work together"
~for sure
-"how many coffee?"
~i truly found my mate.
these are some of the statements i've encountered, what's yours? -
I way under-quoted this custom CMS.
I thought ContentBuilder.js was going to be a better plugin. Documentation is lacking, I've run into a couple bugs, and the thing looks like it was built 10 years ago with iframes for image uploads...Ugh.
On top of that, I didn't realize how much work certain things would be like the drag and drop menu builder. Yea....it took 4 different plugins to find one that works well with nested items.
I'd say I'm 60% through and need to be 90%. I'll probably start cutting corners unfortunately :(2 -
Some client coming back to me claiming some page "suddenly" changed style and fucked stuff up.
Yea, stuff like that totally happens. I'm like 90% sure someone messed with the styling... -
I dont understand why people talk so much crap about python. How it "pseudocode".. yea its a" joke" i get it. But if whoever is making said joke dont even know what pythonic programming is , nor practice it. Then said person dont really know how to code in python.. its more like modified c++ and they cant talk crap.
-
So I've had a few rants now about this dumbass legacy Apache Wicket project I'm on.... Latest was that the guy who kind of knew what was going on but was impossible to communicate with is was leaving which meant I'd be inheriting this shit show. I was on leave his last week and he had the task of onboard the new senior.
I get here this morning and meet this guy. Seems a nice enough champ, well spoken (praise be.) First thing the man says to me is that this code is a mess and he doesn't really understand the IP... Yea me too, buddy, me too2 -
College has been rough, especially when I've been having my hand held through 12 years. More stuff to learn, to do; and my life hasn't been great.
It's official that I'm following Chemical Engineering, specifically Food Engineering major (or whatever the heck it's called). I still code but I'm not sure if I'm gonna get to the level of the properly-trained folks. Heck I don't even know DFS and BFS and they seem important.
So yea, I'm not dead, just on life support. What did I miss on dR since July guys?1 -
Cats and dogs - I interact with both in my uni and love both of them (yea well guess which one of them actually reciprocates the love).
I'm kinda having a tough time deciding which one do I keep in my Avatar.
@dfox please add an option with both of 'em fuckers3 -
It's good and okay to make mistakes, no one is perfect and it's rare to non-existent to have a code running perfectly after the first try.
tho my perfectionism wants it otherwise but yea -
Coding made me who I am now. I have a much more organized mind and critical though. I have some new skills that are really useful when it comes to job hunting. I'm proud to do what I do, even if it's not that much. I love learning, coding just fits my style.
I am grateful that I started doing it, there's one big downside to coding though. We all know what it is: USERS!
Going back to drinking some coffee. Oh yea, that's how coding changed my life ;) -
!dev
Yea so that's how last night went. The result being that ya boi slept clean through the alarms and was an hour late for band practice
2 -
Need a bit of help and I think the simple answer would've been to RTFM more carefully but yea.... Kinda late now.
I'm looking for the installers for Chromium 74.0.3707.0. I should've written form the download link but I forgot you can't just look it up with this version number.
Hence my problem. I went on the site and somehow need to lookup a revision version like 54321. But I can't find the mapping for it... Closest I got it's going the commit hash but then what...10 -
In Alpro soy milk range, the original one is often overlooked. There are ridiculously tasty soy vanilla, soy almond and professional coconut. But being THAT sensitive I can always distinguish like yea, here’s the soy and here’s the coconut purée. This always prevented me from focusing on just soy and how complex it really is.
So I tried the original soy milk and yes, the purest form was hidden in plain sight all this time. It’s just soy, pure soy, like a pokimane subreddit meetup. I love it.
It’s a moment of a purist finding a pure thing. This is the IDEA of soy milk, like Prolog is the idea of a declarative language.
6 -
Fuck you creator of that video: https://youtube.com/watch/...
this shit does not work.
At line:
const app = createApp(App);
"Uncaught TypeError: Object(...) is not a function"
wtf. Or fuck vue? maybe in another place I did something wrong but I cannot see? And error is written by idiot. What object? createApp object? Then why it is not a fuction? I have imported it as was in the fucking video
import {createApp} from 'vue'
so how the fuck it can be not a function?
DId
console.log(createApp)
and it shows it is fucking undefined. So yea, it is not a fuction.2 -
Watching Dallas, yea old-ass Dallas.
Bobby Ewing gets kidnapped. They make an episode out of this. Sitting there thinking damn if this was Yellowstone Kayce would've just killed those guys and the whole thing would be like 15 seconds -
So this https://devrant.com/rants/7347385/...
Then today I was supposed to merge code written by some who left at the end last month. QA just passed it now. Yea that branch is nowhere to be found -
!dev
The conversation with my friend.
friend: "So you are getting a new Job?"
me : "Yea, maybe I will start a business tho. btw , what you do for a living now?"
friend: "I fap for living."
me: "aacha? come on serious."
friend :"serious only I am telling. I donate my sperm for RM150 per sample."
me: "WTF"
friend: "yeap. and that's how I made more virgin marry with my donation."
me: "YUCKS, stop it."
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