Job advertisement of the biggest software company here at our train station in Dortmund, Germany.

Recently I've installed Tinder. Had my first match yesterday.

Me: "I see you're a product manager in a software company. Do you get along well with programmers? :)"

No reply. Unmatches. 😶

On the last working day of our CEO.
CEO: As a software company, if we are to build an airplane would you ride on the airplane that we built?
Everyone was silent.
Me at the back of my head: I'll ride. I know for sure that the airplane will never start.

A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers. The teacher walks in and asks this question:

"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane). One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"

Nine developers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?"

The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground, much less crash.

Me: *finds severe bug in school-contracted software, emails teacher about who to talk to to get it fixed*
Teacher: "should I report you on grounds of computer misuse and hacking or...?"

thanks fucker, school-contracted company it is.

We're using a ticket system at work that a local company wrote specifically for IT-support companies. It's missing so many (to us) essential features that they flat out ignored the feature requests for. I started dissecting their front-end code to find ways to get the site to do what we want and find a lot of ugly code.
Stuff like if(!confirm("blablabla") == false) and whole JavaScript libraries just to perform one task in one page that are loaded on every page you visit, complaining in the js console that they are loaded in the wrong order. It also uses a websocket on a completely arbitrary port making it impossible to work with it if you are on a restricted wifi. They flat out lie about their customers not wanting an offline app even though their communications platform on which they got asked this question once again got swarmed with big customers disagreeing as the mobile perofrmance and design of the mobile webpage is just atrocious.

So i dig farther and farthee adding all the features we want into a userscript with a beat little 'custom namespace' i make pretty good progress until i find a site that does asynchronous loading of its subpages all of a sudden. They never do that anywhere else. Injecting code into the overcomolicated jQuery mess that they call code is impossible to me, so i track changes via a mutationObserver (awesome stuff for userscripts, never heard of it before) and get that running too.

The userscript got such a volume of functions in such a short time that my boss even used it to demonstrate to them what we want and asked them why they couldn't do it in a reasonable timeframe.

All in all I'm pretty proud if the script, but i hate that software companies that write such a mess of code in different coding styles all over the place even get a foot into the door.

And that's just the code part: They very veeeery often just break stuff in updates that then require multiple hotfixes throughout the day after we complain about it. These errors even go so far to break functionality completely or just throw 500s in our face. It really gives you the impression that they are not testing that thing at all.

And the worst: They actively encourage their trainees to write as much code as possible to get paid more than their contract says, so of course they just break stuff all the time to write as much as possible.
Where did i get that information you ask? They state it on ther fucking career page!

We also have reverse proxy in front of that page that manages the HTTPS encryption and Let's Encrypt renewal. Guess what: They internally check if the certificate on the machine is valid and the system refuses to work if it isn't. How do you upload a certificate to the system you asked? You don't! You have to mail it to them for them to SSH into the system and install it manually. When will that be possible you ask? SOON™.
At least after a while i got them to just disable the 'feature'.

While we are at 'features' (sorry for the bad structure): They have this genius 'smart redirect' feature that is supposed to throw you right back where you were once you're done editing something. Brilliant idea, how do they do it? Using a callback libk like everyone else? Noooo. A serverside database entry that only gets correctly updated half of the time. So while multitasking in multiple tabs because the performance of that thing almost forces you to makes it a whole lot worse you are not protected from it if you don't. Example: you did work on ticket A and save that. You get redirected to ticket B you worked on this morning even though its fucking 5 o' clock in the evening. So of course you get confused over wherever you selected the right ticket to begin with. So you have to check that almost everytime.

Alright, rant over.
Let's see if i beed to make another one after their big 'all feature requests on hold, UI redesign, everything will be fixed and much better'-update.

A fresh graduate software engineer applied to the company and passed the coding exam.

Manager: Wow you got a very high score. Good job.

Applicant: Thank you sir. So am I hired?

Manager: Yes of course. You will be the team lead for one of the project.

Applicant: Wait wut????

I just quit my job!
The company I worked for is a small company founded in Jan of this year and I was there since the early days but wasn't a founder nor a partner.
It was me who decided on which tech stack we should use, which languages, what servers to use, best practices and almost anything related to development. I was the lead developer and project manager for the biggest project they had.
But they decided that I don't deserve to be a partner. I was making more than 50,000 SDG per month for the company but only paid 6,000. The worst thing is that the partners don't know shit about software development. They have no vision for where should the company be in the future.
I just had enough. I already had my own software dev business before joining them, and it was successful.
I am going back to building my own company with my own vision.
I know I made the right decision, but it still hurts leaving a company after u made it what it is today. It is like your own baby and you are abandoning it.
Hopefully, it is for the best.

Software company director: we build Java applications right?
Devs: nah, javascript.
Director: it's the same, right?
Devs: no
Director: fuck, I pitched a Java application.

A few hours later...
Director on the phone: Yeah, we are building it in Java...

A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers. The teacher walks in and asks this question:"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane). One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"Nine developers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?"The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground, much less crash."

Answer from 3rd party software company: "we can't fix these bugs because it requires development on our side".. hehe, yeah, no shit 😂

I'm gonna start a software company and cleverly split up the work into pieces so that I can present them to potential employees as "coding challenges" during the interview and never actually hire them.

Work your ass off for a month, packaging new software and deploying them. No one says anything.

One of our guys uploads a new autoupdating food menu provided by another company to our intranet. Takes a few minutes.
”OMG! You should be rewarded!”
”Employee of the month!”
”IT award of the month!
”Have my babies!”

:|

The head of the software department of a company I did an internship at once said:

'the stereotype that programmers sit in a dark room all day with empty pizza boxes on their desks is wrong. They are very social and communicate a lot'

Me: yeah, for sure ...

So I walk to work and pass this sign for a place called helloworld experts in everywhere.

And eventually I was curious enough to go to their website and to my surprise they're a travel company :(

I was expecting some sort of software development company with focus on cloud software due to their slogan, pretty disappointed.

my company just paid adobe to use pirated copy of adobe software ,arrested one emp.

Multinational company -_-
listed company -_-
premium product -_-

why the hell they can't pay money to deserve one?

writing this rant on pirated windows.

Job listing I just saw:
Our lead and only developer just retired after 15 years of maintaining the codebase. We need someone who is capable of working with large amounts of undocumented and untested code.

PS: This was a company that makes medical software.

My teacher.

My 4th semester of college, I had a class about Software Engineering, the teacher started involving me in external projects, he actually taught me almost everything I know, now we work for the same company and he is my mentor and one of my dearest friends

Ever since I started working at a company that has a real focus on software I have less to rant about....😒

Drove 1.5 hrs for a interview at a company which was developing mgmt software for fire departments. They were very pleased with me, as i am with a volunteer FD and a perfect fit in their opinion. I declined after i found out they code base is mostly VB6 and they considered source control unnecessary.
Thanks, but no thanks.

lol what? My company offers $5k for referring full time employees... and $10k for referring female technologists.

As a female software engineer, makes me deeply uncomfortable.

Guy I just met: so what do you do?

Me: I'm a developer

Guy: no way! I work for a software company so... (goes on to talk for 10 minutes trying to show off his knowledge of software)

Me: so what do you do there?

Guy: sales

Me: oh...

Just because you work for a software company does not mean you know shit about software. Don't try to build some erroneous common ground with me because you walked by a developer's desk one time, looked at his or her screen, and magically thought you could understand code.

A few weeks into my first dev job, the owner of the company sent out an email directing that we were no longer allowed to use open source software in our web projects.

I didn't stay there very long.

Fibonacci for developers.

One Developer writes bad code and leaves. Company hires two more to fix the code and cycle continues. Now you know why software developers are in demand.

Me: "So, to recap.. I'll be creating an integration between your site and [some software]. It will require [list of todos and features].. I expect this to take 4 hours over the next 2 business days."

Client: "But [referring company] said this would only take like 15 minutes.."

"We are from <Company Name> and wanted to reach out to you in regards to a management level software position, we liked bla bla bla about your resumee and would like to discuss some options with you"

Me: "oh interesting! I just worked with your company last week helping one of our departments implement one of your solutions into their area"

Recruiter: "We know :D"

I am kinda wondering if this is considered poaching

So I just told my manager that I want to resign my job.

I have decided to accept the offer from a German software company. First time working overseas, full of uncertainty.

I don't know I am excited or nervous now.

I've taken over a piece of software that I can only assume the lead was somebody with zero development experience or bluffed their way into the company. Here's an example of real, production code that I get to deal with on a daily basis...

When will Linux shall triumph over the desktop market?

I hate to see games and software being developed only for Winblows and MacPrison.

Why don't some company make a normie-friendly distro and heavily support it, same as Google did with Android, but for desktops?

We made a software for hospitals in my old department. The senior Dev kinda gave me the software, because he thought it sucked and was perfect for a newbie like me. I really loved my work and gave everything I had to improve the quality of software, introduced tests, refactored old smelly code and talked with the product manager to overhaul the ui. Several months later this little shit project the senior gave the newbie, was a huge success and better than any thrash that the senior has created. The senior was really pissed, so everytime I had some days off, he tried to sabotage me in any way. I couldn't take that and many other things anymore, so I left the company. The most tragic part is, that my software could become a massive foundation for the company, but after I left they abandoned it. I still had some good contacts within the old company and they said, that the senior dev told everyone how bad everything was, that I have done through the years and that they can't even describe how bad the architecture of the software is. tl;dr fuck off!! I've done so much things for the company and they never appreciated it. I'm glad I quit that job. Best decision ever!!

Today I uninstalled WhatsApp, I mean I haven't had a look at it in over a month and nobody texts me anways.

Writing this makes me realize how sad this is

I don't want to support Facebook or any data mining company, instead I want to support (free) / open source software like Signal

So I landed this interview with a company that provided military simulations, to work as an android intern (mobile). And man was I intent on getting it, I could only dream of my first job being as a dev, for a company that developed cool software. 😯

I show up, pull out my laptop, go over some of my projects (crap at the time, since I was 16, but ChessAI ftw) and also show them an android app I developed.

Then, I pulled out my calculator and showed them a clock I'd made on it. That's probably when I lost them... ☹️

They asked me a couple questions about software development, like if I knew what agile was, or if I unit tested my code (didn't even know they existed at the time ☹️ ) , etc.

I had done research on the company and asked them questions about specific software and so on, also asked about what working there would look like, etc.

They never called.

I called.

They never answered.

😭

Ended up washing dishes. Honestly, fuck my life.

starting my own linux based company, macrohard

our first piece of software will be a linux distro known as doors, and we're going to have a line of tablets called macrohard floors

comment below to apply, and with more product suggestions

Company email sent around last night that 'for security' we need to use the latest software, fine. But we are also told only to develop in Edge as it's the newest and most secure browser, therefore is the only one we can use. There no way I'm using Edge to develop.

Fuck you, Mr Consultant, you've taken the company for a ride.

devRant_swear_count++;

➡️You Are Not A Software Developer⬅️

When I became a developer, I thought that my job is to write software. When my customer had a problem, I was ready to write software that solves that problem. I was taught to write software.

But what customers need is not software. They need a solution to their problem. Your job is to find the most cost-effective solution, what software often is not.

According to the universal law of software development, more code leads to more bugs:

e = mc²

Or

errors = (more code)²

The number of bugs grows with the amount of code. You have to prioritize, reproduce and fix bugs.

The more code you write, the more your team and the team after it has to maintain. Even if you split the system into micro services, the complexity remains.

Writing well-tested, clean code takes a lot of time. When you’re writing code, other important work is idle. The work that prevents your company from becoming rich.

A for-profit company wants to make money and reduce expenses. Then the company hires you to solve problems that prevent it from becoming rich. Confused by your job title, you take their money and turn it into expensive software.

But business has nothing to do about software. Even software business is not about software. Business is about making money.

Your job is to understand how the company is making money, help make more money and reduce expenses. Once you know that, you will become the most valuable asset in the company.

Stop viewing yourself as a software developer. You are a money maker.

Think about how to save and make money for your customers.

Find the most annoying problem and fix it:

▶️Is adding a new feature too costly? Solve the problem manually.
▶️Is testing slow? Become a tester.
▶️Is hiring not going well? Speak at a meetup and advertise your company.
▶️Is your team not productive enough? Bring them coffee.

Your job title doesn’t matter. Ego doesn’t matter either.

Titles and roles are distracting us from what matters to our customers – money.💸

You are a money maker. Thinking as a money maker can help choose the next skill for development. For example:

Serverless: pay only for resources you consume, spend less time on capacity planning = 💰

Machine Learning: get rid of manual decision-making = 💰

TDD: shorter feedback cycle, fewer bugs = 💰

Soft Skills: inspire teammates, so they are more productive and happy = 💰

If you don’t know what to learn next — answer a simple question:

What skills can help my company make more money and reduce expenses?

Very unlikely it’s another web framework written in JavaScript.

Article by Eduards Sizovs
Sizovs.net

When you're a multimillion dollar company that ships software used by oil and gas and you still haven't moved away from VB6 for extensions while in the 21st century... Well, you're certainly missing out on the accelerating telegram industry.

Company: lets develop a cutting edge, SaaS software solution that would make our current software obsolete.

Also Company: needs to be fully compatible with IE 11. Oh and also use it as a base for testing performance and UI rendering.

Fffffffffffffff.

this happened in the first project of a small software company.

the contract said: project will be finished only until customer satisfaction

the customer was never satisfied. So, the company had to close and open with a different brand name

Just signed the contract for renting my first ever place today, and tomorrow is my first day of work as a software developer at a large company... It's been a crazy weekend, and tomorrow is probably gonna be even crazier! Little bit nervous tho... We'll see how it goes

Finish my master degree
Get a good career position (I just joined my first software company)
Saves more money

That’s it for now

Told by Gerald Weinberg in various incarnations:

A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers. The teacher walks in and asks this question:

"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane). One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"

Nine developers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?"

The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground, much less crash."

Describe the most hellish development environment you can imagine for yourself:

Me:

Workstation OS: Windows Vista with network boot, no hard disk and can't save local files

Server OS: Closed physical appliance of Windows Server 2000 with no possibility of installing extra software

Languages: Visual Basic, Perl, Php, assembly, ABAP

IDE: None, just echoing code lines to files

Web technologies: IIS, Sharepoint, Java applets, asp

Network: No internet access, internal company network only

Web browser: IE 6

Graphical design software: msPaint

Version control: Emails

Team communication: Emails

Software distribution vector: Emails

Boss: some 40 year old guy who knows nothing about computers

Not kidding most of these stuff were actually real in my previous workplace.

What would you do?

2 job offers...

Job #1 a big sports betting company as a junior software developer with a salary of 22k plus a yearly bonus of 10%

Also uncapped holidays

Or

Job #2
A small IT company with 2 other developers with a salary of 19.5k working on multiple projects and being instantly promoted to mid level developer, also a signing bonus after 3 months of a high end surface laptop.

Android Studio Installation.

What is the fucking point of giving an option to install the software somewhere other than C drive when the installation fails if done so.

Fucking cunts, multi billion dollar company my ass. Go to hell you stupid fucks.

DEAR CTOs, PLEASE ASK THE DEVELOPER OF THE SOFTWARE WHICH YOU ARE PLANNING TO BUY IN WHAT LANGUAGE AND WHAT VERSION THEY ARE WRITTEN IN.

Background: I worked a LONG time for a software company which developed a BIG crm software suite for a very niche sector. The softwary company was quite successfull and got many customers, even big companies bought our software. The thing is: The software is written in Ruby 1.8.7 and Rails 2. Even some customer servers are running debian squeeze... Yes, this setup is still in production use in 2022. (Rails 7 is the current version). I really don't get it why no one asked for the specific setup, they just bought it. We always told our boss, that we need time to upgrade. But he told every time, no one pays for an tech upgrade... So there it is, many TBs of customer data are in systems which are totally old, not updated and with possibly security issues.

I am a passionate software engineer.
That means that I strive towards excellence, in all aspects of software engineering. It also means that I cannot abide impediments towards those goals.

In practicality, it means that I will try as hard as I can to make the best possible solution for any specific problem. And that if I can make an improvement to the codebase that will make it easier for the next developer to work with it, I will absolutely make it.

I used to believe that my immediate manager had an understanding of my philosophy and why it was important not just to me personally, but to how the company had to move forwards in general also.

I just had a conversation today that completely flipped my perception of him and his role in the company.

I need a new job. Again. Because business people do not understand software, even if their entire business is based on software.

I'm the first in 3 generations not be some sort of pipeline/mechical engineer. All my family works at the same company too.

I was partially accepting because at least a software engineer is some kind of engineer.

...And than my cousin graduated to be a gym teacher so I was then fully accepted 😂

Dear company, stop installing shit on my work laptop! I guess you love these antivirus and tracking software but I can't do my job with so much slowness.

When your company uses an awesome online software and your bosses want you to rebuild it internally to save money.

Me "OK, but, product A had a team of engineers and probably took a year to build."

Them: "well, they have the bugs worked out then. Shouldn't take you as long. Just copy what they did."

PM: Heard you are DJ.
Me: Yeah...
PM: I have company promo video that needs to be composed and sent by Friday to corporate.
Me: OK?
PM: Since you are DJ, I am assigning it to you.
Me: Huh...I'm a software developer and DJ not f#cking Steven Spielberg.

Startup company: "We love competing with each other! We (the sales team) play pranks and pass each other mini footballs! Mandatory team social nights (No we won't pay you for it)!

Me, a typical introverted dev: "HISSSSSSSSSSS, away, away!"

What's with these sales people making software companies reminiscent of 1980s Wall Street trading floors?

Every time I see a software development company ad on fb I have to resist the urge comment "I have a great app idea, can you make me something like fb but better?"

So there it goes again,,, I am thinking about quitting again.
I feel that I cannot be the sole sysadmin for a company whose critical IT-infrastructure lives on Life-Support, deprecated software and hardware, and the unwillingness to actually invest it in.

Meets a family member****
Fam.Member: Hey so what do you do now?
Me: I work with a tech company
Fam.Member: Nice. As what?
Me: Software Engineer
Fam.Member: oh IT stuff. Can you check my phone for me, it's slow now.
Me: No (then walks away sipping my drink)

A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers. The teacher walks in and asks this question:

"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane). One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"

Nine developers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?"

The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground, much less crash."

A week ago I put in my two weeks at the current company I'm a Software Engineer at because it has been one of the worst places I have worked at and start work on July 5th at a new place as a Senior Software Engineer and have heard only good things about everything! Can't wait to start!!!!

Left my post as a software engineer in a Software Development company.

I’m now a Lead engineer in a consultancy.

Got an email from IT saying that a new anti ransomeware software is being installed company wide, but it doesn't play well with visual studio. His suggestion is that each time we need to compile, we run a batch file, reboot, compile, run another batch script, then reboot.

...he's in IT?

Company I work for issues Macs to everyone, and it's a software company. I'm not a MacOS fan. Tried for 3 months, still irritates me. Now I have Windows 10 on my MacBook Pro, and the world is right again. You can't imagine the flack I get!!!!

When they update the company roster and your title unknowingly changed from lead web developer to senior software engineer 😳

If software engineering interviews weren't so shitty I would have jumped ship from this company a long time ago.

Currently being paid full consultant salary to watch printer software install itself. This is exactly what I hoped to do when I started my company.. At least the money is good.

Just startup stories:

Our backlog of tasks and bugs has officially reached 100+ tickets, all for me, the single software engineer at our "tech" company.

Huh, imagine that.

Got an [IMPORTANT] email today from <some third party company> saying they discovered a problem with their software and were working on it with high prority. Problem description made my day: "<some third party company> would like to inform you that offline users using iPad may not be able to synch due to technical reasons". - wait what?!

Several actually

- root DB access on production
- git commit -am "Stuff" (message)
- Not doing backups
- Using personal licensed software for company work
- 1 commit per day or weekend
- Taking work to home

My uncle who thought me Computers and Networking ( I once worked with him on a project ) came by to my house today. He said that he created a software that automates his work on the boring stuff so when he has free time he works on his own company. My man!

If a product based company rejects you then build same software and open source it.

Our company has internal webpage to request software, be it freeware or licensed.
Today, I found there "Software engineering bundle" designated for "software developers and data scientists who require advanced compute and data processing tools".
The software bundle contains PuTTY, 7-zip and Notepad++.

This fucking bitch whose whole linkedin consists of being a LAWYER, started a software company in 2021 and is now contacting me looking for (get this) a role where i have to work:

- devops
- python/django building backend
- machine learning

All of that has to be done by me, 1 person

Work at a banking software company, one bug allowed bankers to book a deal after quote expired. So i could theoretically buy something at yesterday's rate. Dev forgot the "btnBook.enabled=false"

I freelanced for a company where I had to make an iOS app. The person who I was in contact with was a software engineer of that company. When i was asked to send them the final project code after publishing the app, the person was like email the project even after giving them the option of uploading to a private repo and sending link. It’s seemed like the software engineer didn’t know what GitHub was like how is that possible.

My friend and I (both undergraduate) built a software to track emails for a local company (by the recommendation of my mom :D) now that is finished, it will cost $6 USD per 10,000 emails aprox. There is only one company that sells this service as a B2B, and the cost is near to $1,000 per 5,000 emails 😐. Things are always like that in the IT market?

Got a middle software developer position at a great company.... wrote 10 lines of code and spent 90% of the time in calls and meetings.

currently having one. the new company gave an offer letter even though my notice period is 60 days , but things went downhill from there.

during these 60 days whenever i got a mail from new company, i acted upon it, and u was expecting things to go smoothly. they use some sap software for getting onboarding info.

today, on my joining date, am getting to know that i have not yet submitted some personal and legal details, so i cannot join today :/

why had i not submitted them? i had told them 7 days ago that there's some issue with the software as its not showing the section for uploading anything on my profile, but they ignored that. and today they are sending me an instruction pdf with super outdated images :///

Used to be the intern in the company I work at...
Finally became a Jr software dev, I get to select the next intern...

That was 3 months ago, he has started and I get to bug fix all his stuff...

He's a nice guy tho

Use this as a template to send rejection letter to your recruiter as a revenge.

"Dear Recruiter,

Thank you for considering me for the software engineering position at your company. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your offer.

As a highly qualified and skilled software engineer, I am confident that I could bring a great deal of value to your organization. However, after reading the job description and learning more about your company, I have come to the realization that I am simply too good for the position. I have no interest in joining a team where my talents and abilities would be underutilized and unappreciated.

Furthermore, I am a bit concerned about the working environment at your company. I have heard rumors that the office is dingy, the cafeteria food is subpar, and the company culture is lacking. I am a true perfectionist, and I refuse to settle for anything less than the best.

In conclusion, I must decline your offer. I wish you and your company the best of luck in finding a candidate who is worthy of the position.

Sincerely,
[Your Name]"

A company in Switzerland keep re-posting job openings for "ninja software engineers" on the university board. Maybe I should slide in with my black pyjamas and a katana and see If I make the cut?

Wk78

My worst dev experience was my first software as freelance...
1 month codding
When delivering the app the client didnt want it anymore...
Two years latter the client calls me because he had a problem... Merging hundreds of access 97 databases... Exactly what my software did (besides editing, filters and remove duplicates)
Told him I got mad, deleted the source code and was already working on a company...
He had to pay for a software company to do the same 10 times the cost

Recruiter: company looking for 4+ years of software engineering experience.
Me: I don't have 4+ years of experience.
Recruiter: I think it should be fine.
Me: lol fuck off

I started working at a software company two weeks ago. Today I learned that their web app only runs so smoothly because of a single JS function called specialSnowflakeHandler()

It's cool finally seeing real world feedback for something you developed and programmed yourself, I'm still in college and I'm trying to start a company with some software I came up with, and it's being taken very well from potential clients!🙏🏻

After being a miserly bastard and settling on VirtualBox for my VM needs on OSX, I downloaded a Parallels trial a couple weeks back, and today, I'm happy to announce I bought a license!

VirtualBox can go do one.

I've ditched Studio for Rider, and now Parallels, what has the world come to when a dev actually buys software?!

The end is nigh I say, nigh.

You realize that the ERP software you use at your company is shit when:
- there is no service-side ERP backend handling requests
- the whole permission system is client-side (!)
- every client directly connects to the MSSQL database with a supervisor user (stored in plain text in a local config file)
- the MSSQL database contains tables with:
- typos
- names like "contract" but then also "contracts"
- mixed german and english words
- the multiple-business-unit implementation uses 4 columns named "Layer 1, Layer 2, Layer 3, Layer 4" in EACH table
- you find out that the ERP software is created with a fucking "software creation tool"
- there is no API, so you have to program one yourself to use for services

Yet, they charge us shit ton of money for their broken ass software.

Yesterday my boss forwarded a mail to me. A Senior Project Leader of a Software Company asked him if there is a library for filling out pdfs. Apparently, he can neither google nor ask their own developers... WTF?

< 1 year of professional software experience - company: there's too many of you, come back when you have 3 years experience

3 years experience - company: those entry levels have now gotten 3 years experience just like you and now there's too many of you, come back with 7 years experience

7 years - company: too many of you, come back with 20 years

20 years - you: create sentient AI and order it to destroy the company. AI: sorry, I'm looking for an owner with 100 years experience, sorry.

Fuck.

Upwork is absolute GARBAGE.

PLEASE tell me alternative to find a job as a dev and work remotely. I have to work for foreign international software company.

I cant be working for my local city companies because the salary even for engineers is TRASH

A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers.

The teacher walks in and asks this question:"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane).

One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"Nine developers raised their hands.

The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?

"The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground

Within our company someone put out a survey for software developers.

The one question was ”What question would you want to ask other software developers at our company?"

One of the responses was "Why am I such an embarrassment to programming?"

I feel like I need to tell this person about devrant.

Why the fuck does a company put such crappy antivirus software on your PC you can't even compile code.

A semiconductor company wants a custom desktop program to graph the data from their machines.

Company: We want to get a trial version before buying it.

Me: *Just staring at them*

In my mind: Soooooo you want me to invest my time in creating a custom made software specific to your machines and you might end up being happy with a trial version and leaving me empty handed?

Might as well create the program and put so many pop ups to annoy them no? 😂😂😂

*arrives to date on time*
Dude: so what do you do for a living?
Chick: I'm a software developer.
*dude: she doesn't know I'm senior developer at my company *
Dude: oh that's cool
*let the games begin muahahahah (evil laugh) *

CTO s shouldn't write software once there are more than 50 devs in the company. They shouldn't make tech decisions. It is time for you to back off and help with more important things. We really need you to get process nailed down. We really need you to help us understand business better. Not writing code.

The worst part of being a senior software engineer for a team is that the legacy code of the company is not clear, and there's no documentation.

Did you know that "Chief Prayer Officer" is an actual role in some companies?

It just so happens that our IT partners have a CPO and the very same company forgot to install Antivirus software on our servers... I guess the servers are protected by God™. 😅

The shady company that tried to interview me for a data entry job when I applied as a software developer called me. They left a message asking if I was still interested in a help desk position. Like nope and I never was. Been working at my current job as a software engineer for over a month. Try finding people who actually want the jobs you're offering!

Well, this one is easy. It gotta be this year, as a finally finished my 2 years training as a software developer in July and I'm still working for the company that trained me.

Just as context, in Germany you have to train for a job for 2-3 years before you can actually start working in the field. During this training, you're essentially working at a company, get (reduced) pay and go to school every now and then. The training ends with a final exam, after which I could finally call myself a software developer. :-)

Haha, today I learnt that agile doesn't just stop in the enterprise with SAFe (Scaled Agile Framework), management has continued the theme in my new company with Lean-Agile Center of Excellence (LACE) and Agile Release Trains (ARTs).

Software development in 2021...

Tomorrow's my first day as an SRE intern.. wish me luck fellow devs and engineers :)

More DevOps rants coming in the future with my best mate @tahnik who is also starting his software engineering internship on the same day coincidentally in a different company

Be me
Work at software contracting company
Get a new client, iOS objective-c app with ~40000 lines of code
Previous Dev didn't leave a single comment, and he didn't use a database, he used 'NSUserDefaults'

Don't you just love it when a department buys a software for the company without consulting IT and Data Management departments? You know to discuss integration, flexibility, compatibility and all that?

Don't you love it even more when the users of this new software then complain about the different tools that have to learn and the workflow being completely scattered?

But hey, they work in administration, so I'm sure they know what they are doing. ⚡⚡⚡

my boss, recently: "Partner company is complaining about seg-faults in our software" [the system is still in testing, not deployment]

me: "tell me what steps to reproduce the error and I'll fix it"

boss: "I'd like to prevent seg faults from happening no matter what"

...I literally can't even at this point

So my company is using the cheapest software products out there; to save money of course. Naturally you pay what you get for, aka shitty products. I wonder how much money we waste by demotivated engineers using this Scheisse!

I think a lot of pissed off devs are working at companies that see them as cost centres. Happy devs are at companies that see them as profit centres.

Like, a cereal company may have a tech team for their website and ordering and whatever, but having the best website isn't going to make them more money. Selling more cereal is.

If a company sells video processing software, having the best software is going to make them money. Tech is a profit centre.

So, anyway, I'm looking for a new job. Any rec for profit centre tech teams?

Soooooo, why is it that so often 'security' just means bloody mindedly getting in your way for no reason?

Coz I fail to see how whitelisting a subnet of private IPs that are already only accessible through company VPN presents any kind of security risk, especially since the blocking software is literally only on our company laptops and can be easily bypassed by being on the VPN on *any other device*. But nooooooo, we have to go to the this other company our umbrella company owns (who by the way are making every dev at our company redundant in six months) and beg them to change each individual IP address every time we create a service.

Really does feel like security often means either 'our parent company doesn't understand security so we just need to go through the motions and *look* like we are doing things properly' or 'we just want to get in your way enough that we win in the who gets made redundant fight because you can't actually get any work done and we can'.

Bonus points: on the website for the blocking software they use, it literally recommends using Internet Explorer for everything. I'm surprised they haven't tried to enforce that on us as well.

Suppose devRanters were to start their own software company, what things would make that company better than others?

I mean, what things would each one of you would want to happen in that company for it to become better and even the best?

RANT!

I still struggle to find the suitable address book software for our company. It supposed to be secure and inexpensive. But how so? It's flipping not possible to have both!
My boss answer to almost everything I say: Just do it! - in German: einfach machen! Please hulp!

WHY WOULD A LICENSE WORK FOR A BACKUP SOFTWARE ONCE, AND THEN NOT BE RECOGNIZED?!

I haaaaaaaaate shoddy license management.

Oh and Sage is an awful company with terrible software as well.

I recently started work as a Senior Software Engineer at a top company, I can't help but have this immense impostor syndrome...I just feel like people at work are closely anticipating my failure...it's fucking crippling.

I actually found a use for Outlook's scummy default behaviour to open links in Edge and not the default browser.

On my company laptop I mainly use Librewolf because it allows installing plug-ins despite group policy. I only use Edge for Azure DevOps and company portals because MS SSO doesn't work with Librewolf for some reason.

Because Outlook disregards the OS settings and uses Edge by default, MS software forms a sort of bubble, and I can freely set Librewolf as my default browser.

I have been interning at a tech company as a software developer. And it is a paid internship program where I haven't got any stipend for the past months. I have to pay rents, bills, even my transportation too. So o decided to startup a tech company along with my friends. Later this month we are launching our first product.

Your company bio says:

"We are a global network of elite, independent software engineers and digital designers"

And then you go ask a native iOS developer if he's interested in an EmberJs role ..... not very fucking elite apparently

With work from home being way more productive why the fuck would any software development company go back to the office? Rent, workstations, and electricity are expensive! Why spend that money when it’s not essential to your business.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a mobile app development company to make a clone of the current contacts app. 3 points from 10 mins conversations;

1. They offered me for a working prototype in just 35% of actual app development cost. They'll take 15 days to work on that. ( Me: "Do you mean the prototype that I created in 40 mins using invision and sent you its video recording?" after a little argument they agreed that they meant the same.)

2. They said they will have to embed the complete search engine in the app. (Really!! we never name searching in DB as "search engine")

3. They said they'll take approx 15 days in UI and UX. (Me: "will you change the designs I shared?" They: "It is our internal process, we can't give much detail on that")

Days since last issue from 3rd party library: 0

It doesn't get any better than this folks!

It just makes me even more joyful to know that said companies library earns them 1000x figures of what my company earns! Yay software!

The new company didn't let me use Linux but instead forced to use Windows with custom Vagrant box to debug the software. Grrrrrrr

"we are reluctant to actually make a product roadmap because then we have to stick to it"
- the CEO of the software development company I work at during our last town hall who wonders why our customers are always frustrated with our software...

For me it is not difficult to explain other people what I am doing as a programmer, but what company I am working for. We write software for the administration of cemeteries. People often look at me like I am joking. So I was wondering: What was your weirdest project/Job as a developer?

Not working at a software company.

I don’t hate the Pixel. I don’t have the iPhone. Why? Because both the software and hardware together are made by the same company.

They’re worth as much as these companies want to price them. Then you get Samsung charging nearly as much.

Question: Have you ever worked for a toxic company? If so, did do you do something about it? Any tips?

By toxic I mean the abusive kind, where racism and sexism are "just jokes" and where clients are essentially scammed into buying software that doesn't do what they think it does.

Found this in some knowledge base article of a big software company.

I'm gonna use this as my automatic email response for work.

I got enough Today so I marked my linkedin profile with “looking for new opportunities”.

It’s actually cool you can pick up to 5 job positions, location, form of employment and let know only to recruiters not all of your contacts that you are open for a new “opportunities ”.

I picked technical consultant, software architect, technical lead, lead software engineer and principal software engineer.

Time will tell if I will be able to find something better then I am dealing with right now.
Customer I am consulting for is cool but the company I work for went over the years from cool to get the fuck out right now cause we only hire managers and people without any knowledge.
It’s probably cause they hired many people from one company that was acquired, probably those who know everything about nothing.

I see many people are FOSS enthusiasts here. Some only use free software on principle. I like open source alternatives too, but not every time.

As devs, our job is to make software. How can one justify preferring free software for all our needs, yet working on proprietary software?

Does advocating free software devalue your professional skills, while you're working on paid software?

If you do good work and sell your software, then someone releases a free thing solving the same problems, that's obviously bad for you.

Why should software be treated differently than other things? Have you seen a construction company building stuff for free? If you don't want to pay for your house to be built, can you find someone who builds it for you for free? I doubt that.

Yes, you can make your software free and accept donations. But you can't plan with that financially, you still need to be treated and payed as someone who creates value.

I have no problem with free software, I love the fact that many people can find the time and are willing to contribute to the public without compensation. What I'm saying is, software is a product of hard engineering work and builds upon knowledge and experience of individuals, and should be compensated like any other work.

What do you think?

We use a open-source business management software (incl. crm, e-commerce, billing, accounting, warehouse, ...) that is highly customizable.

Previously we had "Company A" that customized it for my company. It was very expensive so they hired something to do the same but cheaper & inhouse. The codebase that "Company A" has written was terrible (confirmed by CTO & the new colleague").

Then the CFO wanted functionality A. Colleague said that this will take 2 weeks to implement. One week later, it was no longer needed & functionality B was now mandatory. Rinse & Repeat.

The CFO: "Why is nothing ever gonna get finished" or "why is the quality so bad?"

So they hired another person for the same position. This person has more experience so it costs them a lot more... And suddenly, everything works well

They contacted a few months later a consultant that analyzed the company. The consultant asked (for good reason) why such a small company has 2 people maintaining the in-house BM software. And suddenly, they wanted to get rid of the worst person. <enter my previous rant>

He is thrown out. Now the head of Operations wants to remove that software because it was not "sexy" enough (her words). So they introduced a glorified spreadsheet with less functionality. That new colleague was offered to take the lead on that project... And thus he fled to another company.

That project failed and now everyone is fired... And they hired back "Company A" to maintain that BM project.

Am I Data Engineer or Software Development Engineer ?

I design the infrastructure for analytics data, and I build the infra entirely including an development. Except making reports out of the data.

What I'm supposed to be called ?
Data Engineer ?
Software Development Engineer ?

Definitely not an Data Scientist. Official designation given by company is Data Engineer II. But what I'm ?

Confused, someone help me please.

my best career decision?
discarding my original plan to do PhD and get into (natural) science, studying computer science / software engineering instead, and starting software development in a company that builds cool devices.
i really like what i am doing and i feel like i found something that's "my thing".

it took me a while to get there, but it was totally worth it.

I’ve come to terms that my company is blasphemisizing what software engineering has taught me to be right and true. Fuck unittesting, fuck VcS, let’s go rawdogging the changes to prod like the real men did back when the times were great hell yea

My company spent millions of dollars on new services in the building and software to utilize the software. Software takes forever to load and I am getting NullException errors when I click on anything. 🙄

Why the hell is Unity so bad at Linux, I just created a new project and it crashed everytime. Now I’m using Godot Engine, good things open source and stable.

To anyone who likes to solve problems, here's one:

How can I (m29) get the idea into my boss' thick skull (m50), that the crisis meeting he had with the client could be averted by just using what every other software development company uses (git), without being explained what the difference between a .java and .class file is?

ATTN: ALL DEVZ

I think we all should just band together and say FU! to all of these software companies and form one gigantic software corporation, steal all of their clients, and make them beg on their knees for us to help them. Not only that, make them go through a series of VERY stressful interviews (to see who deserves our time, of course) in which we simply say....."no" with no explanation. Bwahahahahhahahaha!!!

Wishful thinking.... 🤔

I think my company used to work with an innovative developer centric approach to software development where you make commits based on the state of the developer rather than the code. 😂

Translation : "My DD is going to fail hence I commit" and "I'm tired".

True reason of unemployment-

Firstly companies hire people to make their software automate and then after successful completion of the project, the company terminates most of the employees.

The heart of every software company is the development department.

Without it:
- The sellers would have nothing to sell
- Testers won't have anything to test
- Technical support wouldn't have anything to install

I didn't have to buy any accounting or payroll or any kind of software for my company as I can make it all by my self.

All day long meeting with business consultant about company future, software architecture, technical debt, refactoring, resources, projects.

Conclusion from top consultant, ex country manager of a weeeell known tech company:
Who cares about "code" anyway? (disgusted smile)

Company is replacing "[insert software tool here]" with one that is "better", that "helps us scale", etc. Coincidentally, this always happens when the management muckety muck in charge of that area is replaced by someone from outside the company. While new ideas are good and sometimes needed, I honestly have not ever seen any manager in that position do anything but a "replace what you have with what I used at my last company" exercise. Every day that goes by lowers my expectations of any management figure or exercise. After 3 decades, you'd think those expectations would be low enough to not be surprised anymore. And yet, that's not the case.

Company logic: "we need a new software manager for the program. This guy has worked on every piece of our product. Including as team lead of one of the teams. But wait he has never signed time cards. We better bring in this guy who has been in the company less than a year and is a known job shopper to do it instead."

Long story short, I am getting a new software manager that knows nothing about our product. Fun

Sat for a company X, aced 2 out of 3 rounds, final round, I come to know that the company deals with Hardware and I was poaching them about my software skills.

Buh bye. We need only Hardware interested personnel.

Just before I was about to go full pro stud, by rejecting the offer, they slammed the door on me pretty soon.

Today we got our first real contract for my software company. It fills me with the most confidence as I scroll this feed of people having the same issues as we do. Customers wanting more than was agreed, customers expecting us to know what they want before talking to us etc... Thank you devRant!

I'm gonna spin this as ridiculously awesome meeting. My company is currently expanding the local satellite office in to a full site. Part of that includes building a local presence for recruiting efforts.

I was part of a meeting I organized at my alma mater between my executive partner and two deans of the college. I am leading the effort to help them align their curriculum with modern practices, training them on free software licences with my company, and more. As well, there's an opportunity to train students on an untouched area of big data in the medical industry.

Less than 2 years with the company and partners (local, national, and international) in the company within my work area are sending me kudos.

Really... "Investigate the reason" and try again. Bruh.

Starting a new job on Thursday after 2 years as software engineer at a different company. I feel like a know no transferable (language) skills; I was mostly "the expert" of the framework at the previous company and now feel like I'm starting from scratch.
How do you handle starting a new position? Do you prepare yourself or just go and see? Am I overthinking?

I was brought into my new position as part of an transformation of waterfall to agile methodology.

We are now running 4 while projects and need to restart the remaining 29 projects using agile principles. The business management type people love agile, but somehow the people inside the current waterfall practices doesn't.

They are afraid their silo work will either expand or not exist thus making it hard to transform the company. Also the company have been subjected to the dead sea effect.

Therfore, the project that is currently in the space of transformation is making my blood boil because people just ain't passionate enough about software.

Either you craft software, or, well you sit and suckle other's money. People suckling should please grow up and start venturing beyond there cozy 9 to 5 and transform to be a professional software doer rather than a BA, DEV, IT GUY.

YOU BASTARDS GET A SHITLOAD OF MONEY AND DON'T DESERVE IT FOR THE EFFORT YOU BRING.

It is your software, own it, be proud of it. Read up to make it better. And as always, the people debugging your code can be a violent psychopath

I've been editing sound effects, animations, image assets, creating things from scratch if I don't have what I need, all while I am hired as a software engineer.

We are supposedly an interactive contents company, while we have only two designers (none of which specializes in software design) for half a dozen projects, no sound engineer, and no animator.

I've been using Krita and Audacity as much as VS Code these days - my hobby skills I never thought would use in a professional environment. I wonder how did my predecessors work, surely not every software engineer also happens to be a hobbyist artist.

I always see people who say that open source != monetarily free. While I agree that may be technically true, I think practically speaking it is not.

Why do I say this?
Well to my knowledge there isn't any successful company that makes money by actually selling open source software. There are a few companies that have become successful by selling complimentary services like Redhat with Enterprise support or Mozilla with selling ad space in their browser, but none that actually sell the software directly.

Company tracking software on your computers? My company is starting to talk about it due to everyone being remote. I don't want to be that guy talking about 1984 and big brother but it really sits with me wrong. Philosophically at least. Most of us are against it and have proposed a united front of refusal. Thoughts?

Software business partner will make your life hell and the CEO holds a lot of shares in this company. Aka you can't fire them even if they suck donkey dongs.

I just spent a week of mails because some "huge" company wanted me to do a plugin for their software by consuming theirs "brand new SOAP WS"... its full of bugs, bad documentated and slow as hell. I regret the moment when i said yes to be part of this nightmare haha

Uhmm. How do you guys write your resume? I mean, there seems to be a lot of ways and taboos on writing one, some say it shouldn't be more than 2 pages. But in some domain, the longer the better. As a software developer how should it look? Some are project-oriented others opt for work-company-experience-oriented.

So our Chief Test Engineer left the company because of overwhelming frustration and stress. We working on new stuffs so we test our partly done product with partly done test tool developed be another of our team. His successor started to drop most of the 3rd party tools and workflows and documentations to trash expect this one unfinished test software.
Now he wants that we add more features to this software so it can replace everything he trashed already: run tests, generate test reports, generate documentations and so on.
On top of that he organized a workshop to read all this software's source code together, understand how it's works so we can rewrite the whole software from scratch.
WHAT?!

Being able to confidently say infront of the CEO that everything you implemented is working just fine, while their business is standing still because another software company fucked up almost everything, having tried everything to blame us for the errors, reminds me of why I’m doing this shit.

The company I'm working for organizes meetups in Mexico City about web technology, i love it because supports opensource software

I signed up for a trial of some time tracking software. Apparently the company that owns it is incredibly aggressive with their sales department. They sent me 10 emails within the first week (still sending even though I unsubscribed) and have started calling me every day. What have I gotten myself into.

Had my first day as a Software Engineer in one of the most trending software companies. Absolutely crazy how organized a company can be. There are so many talented software engineers I‘m a little bit afraid of the expectations they‘re having. Wish me luck, I‘m just a little software dev who graduated 3 months ago :(

Biggest dev ambition? I've got a couple.
For my career, becoming the "go-to-guy" or even lead architect at an ambitious and professional software company. For my free time, releasing one or more apps that people find useful. Also releasing and maintaining a piece of open source software that devs find useful and see potential in. Inspiring others in general.
Those are some goals I've had from the very beginning.

Has anyone worked as a software developer at a consulting company as a full time employee, not just a contractor? If so, could you offer how the experience was?

I've read a lot of developers shit on consulting positions, but it seems no different then developing a product for clients.

Does anyone else find it strange that the stupidest people in the company are making all the decisions.

In order to be able to engineer software you have to understand everything that the product owner knows, the business analyst knows, the product manager knows + how to actually make the system both work in a reasonable time frame and be maintainable long-term.

But we're not the one making the decisions. The irony of it is something that I can't get beyond.

And when I do go out on a limb to point out a logical inconsistency to UX or product... They don't thank me for it they hate me for it and then 3 days later figure out that they should be doing it and quietly follow my suggestions.

Seriously is the goal here to create good software or to avoid stepping on everyone else's toes in the company who is overwhelmed by the complexity of the project.

I think companies based on a hierarchy of non-technical people controlling technical people, in the creation of software products are a dying breed.

When it comes to creating software products everyone in the hierarchy should be technically minded.

I've seriously been trying to come up with an alternative perspective here.

The executives of the company are completely out of touch and the only thing which looks like progress to them in a sprint review is something visual on the front end.

The technical architect, the product owner and the product manager all seem to be engaged in keeping the executives happy and managing their expectations. By means of obscuring the truth.

Imagine how much more cost-effective building a software product would be if the executives were engineers themselves.

I'm keen to do an experiment and build a company comprised of engineers only.

Obviously they need to have insight into the other roles. But none of these other roles are as complex as implementation itself.

So why exactly are we the slaves of these well-meaning under thinkers?

I am going to go freelance (starting a company and will be my own first employee) at the end of the month.

Was wondering what software some of you, who are also freelancers, are using to manage everything.

Quotes, invoices, jobcards, etc.

The bank through which I will be registering the company appears to offer some sort of online service for that purpose, but I have not seen it yet.

Any assistance will be greatly appreciated.

One of the things that fascinates me about software engineering, is how there is no metric to determine who is the best software engineer.

The guy who worked at FAANG?
The guy who started his own company and created their own product?
The guy who owns a RGB and two monitors setup?

Advices looking for a job in Canada as a foreign?

I've been a software developer for 4 years now. I started in small company in Rome as jr developer where I'm now the CTO... I now feel stuck in this job cause the company makes a lot of money from the core product and there is no room for innovation.

I was looking for a drastic change in my life and career and Canada seems a good place to me.
So, any advices?

So easy to DOS a whole software company.
Someone (accidentally) started a script or similar, generating so many requests on StackOverflow that our IP got banned.
In the company chat people already joking how they cannot work. This is "critical infrastructure" in 2018: faulty IP in our network is taken offline. Let's see if we can access SO again today.

TL;DR Asus is a scumbag company when it comes to software.

I love Asus, they make awesome hardware but man do they blow ass when it comes to software and their customer support. They had perfectly working Link To MyAsus app (on Windows and Android) but no no no, we have to release updates and break this shit. Now I cannot use my phone as a webcam.

Fuck this shit.

Are there any official definitions for the terms Software Developer and Software Engineer? Today a friend told me He got a raise and he's now a software engineer and no longer "just" a software developer (still at the same company).

To him and me that sounds like bullshit bingo at its best. His tasks and responsibilities will still be the same after the change of his job title.
So I'm wondering whether anyone here knows of some objectively defined distinctions between the two job titles. To me and my friend those are just the same. I never even thought anyone would make a distinction between the two

Have a question about company (startup) stocks.

I’m going to work in a startup and build a product I actually believe in. I’ll be vague, but it’s environment focused for profit platform. Anyways, I’ll be the first software engineer. They’ve just hired a CTO.

I loved talking with the CEO and he assured me that the stock options will definitely not be symbolic.

What can I expect? What’s too little or too much? I’ve never received stocks from any kind of company.

Excited though.

Why are all the developers non-athletic? I have never seen a bodybuilder developer and not much sports events happens in a software company !!

Once a guy was not able to apply for a software company coz it required 4+ years of experience in a particular API.

The problem was that he had only 2 years of experience as he himself had developed that API. 😜

It's high time that we rethink the equation " Years of experience == Skill"

Do comment your opinion.

How fucked up is fucked up - Part 1.

What's your most frustrating moment for developing software from scratch in a start up company?

has anyone written the first flagship software of a company and what happened to the software afterwards?

did you make good architecture decisions or did you just jank and roll with it? how did the software evolve over time? how was onboarding new devs to work on the software? what sorts of issues were there? did the company make it? what were external factors that made making it difficult?

The Java framework we're working with at our company is so complicated that it doubles as a steganographic device to conceal software.

Every time I log into a server for a client:
Important notice: only employees of xyz are authorised to use this equipment.

Our client outsources their it to another company, someone from that company sent me details of a server for me to install our software. They licence our software, I am not an employee. I guess it must scare off the hackers?

Have to apply as a software dev again. Going to study now and the amount of jobs that are available is too damn low.
Anyway i hate this formal stuff. Why would I need to tell you why your company is so cool. Your IT probably sucks and you know that.

Guys i have a macbook from my company but i used windows all the time. i cant setup the macbook as I need. No karabiner etc. Managed by the company. In Private i still use windows.
Switching back and forth between them is fucking up my dev experience. So i am looking at ways to change my windows keymapping instead. Any suggestions? Hardware and software appreciated. Maybe a keyboard which u guys have good exp with? Or a setup? Cant be the only one here .

Our company is remote-controlled by one or two customer companies. Our CTO is remote-controlled by them also. And if that wasn't enough it feels like he has no competence in the development of normal software (not customer projects).
Officially the management in our company doesn't have the right to give direct orders to the development teams. In reality, they just ignore this rule and play dictator.
It feels that the management thinks that all developers in the company are just asses and idiots who screw up everything.

!rant
So I’m thinking about buying my very first MacBook but I can’t decide which one to get. Im between the 2017 MacBook Air 256Gb or a 2015 MacBook Pro 128Gb. I’m afraid that if I don’t get 256Gb it won’t be enough for college and work. Just a little background for you guys, I’m a software engineer student and also an iOS/RoR intern at a software development company.
Please help me decide which one to get!

BossMan asks me to set up meeting with head engineer tomorrow about integrating 3rd party software. He thinks it bada bing bada boom and the software will get be implemented but I know better he doesn't even know what one of there many products he wants. How do I not embarrass myself in front if the head engineer? I am a full stack student and hope one day to work for this company in a dev role. What should I do?

My first internship.
The webdev department for a engineering company is in the basement. I was given a cubicle near the middle by the wall. The ceiling light was broken so I had to work in the dark... It was a 7-4 with no pay nor do they cover any expenses. I did manage to use the experience and got a job offer at a 'proper' software company in the end.

When the new owner of the company decide to regroup every branches of the business to use a disastrous unoptimised .NET software. When the current one is very fast, the interface kinda UX-friendly. Now its, a home hosted .NET software with Windows forms elements with multi-windows inside the main software. Just to help you create yourself an image of the situation. It cannot be installed if there is more languages then only En-US. It will freeze the updater.

The time between switching tabs is in average a 3-4-5 seconds each time.

So this happen to me today ....

I was hired some time ago to a company to make an App for Android and the app must interact with the Software of the company ...

There was needed to add some column into a table of the SQL DB for some features of the app to work better and an update as been submitted for the software (to be created the table) also. We told the IT department that they need to update the software first then the app on the android and start testing the new features on it ... they come to me and start complaining that the app didn't work as intended .... after 2 hour's trying to figure out what was the dam problem a thing come into my mind .... and I did ask if they did what was saying in the email, if they did update the software first then the app, and of course they only did update the app ...

Moral of the story, never assume that IT or other people it will do as it was instructed for the software work properly.

P.S. Sorry for my bad English :D

I'm working as a senior software developer at my company.
My seniors are asking me to take the scrum master role.
Is it good for my professional development.
Will I be cut off from the technologies that I work on now. I don't want to leave development. Can I do both at once?

At one of my first jobs, we were tasked with building a new website for the company. Since we were the first in-house web development team (everything done prior to us had been contracted out), we had NO relevant software or tools available to use because the company had never needed them before.

On top of that, our computers were on complete lockdown: we had no permissions to install anything ourselves, and any software installation requests had to go through a formal review process that took a minimum of a few months for approval.

So: for the first couple of months, we coded everything in Notepad (!) on Windows (so no autocomplete, no syntax highlighting, etc.)...and tested only in IE6, the sole browser we had at our disposal 😮

From log debug to taking care of a whole software written by a guy who does not work in the company and did not spend any time commenting the freaking code.
The best part? The code is not finished and guys above you do not decide what needs to be done but expect stuff from you.

How was your experience working for a software development agency? How big was the company (number of employees and projects)?

I have a hard desicion to make and I don't know how to choose...

I'll graduate tech uni in a year. I want to work in a start up when I am done. A few days ago my father offered me a position in his company as CTO. Despite the fact that I have ZERO management experience. I'll have to work for him for roughly ten years, then he wants to quit. Do I take the high paying job that I might not enjoy or do I try my luck with a startup/ software company...

My head is now in place to start my own software company.

I have a feeling my contract won't be getting renewed next year because the work will be complete this year and they won't be needing me.

few hours ago i ranted about how my company won’t use new software, now i’ve written 4 pages on a new organization/communication system and boy it better be convincing or else that was a HUGE waste of time

Just threw a retirement party for a senior member in our software development department. He was in the company for 30+ years. He came back 3 months later to work, said “Need more money”... awkward

how do you develop/transition to microservices when the company does not even have developers for the core systems? all systems are either developed by or bought from software vendors. they just go and decide that they want microservices. SMH!

That feeling when you spend a week evaluating IDE software, providing lots of critical evidence as to a clear winner, and the company refuses to spend any money to improve the tools.