Shared screen with a client over Skype. Showed them in Postman that their API wasn't working as expected. It was expecting a json. Instead it was giving error code 400 instead of 200.
Message :
"Error: No error. All OK"

I'll never forget the words of the client:

"Don't use all this fancy software, you don't know how to call APIs, open Internet Explorer or chrome and paste it in the bar. You'll see All OK, means all is okay."

*insert you dense mf meme here*

This is when writing a script that sets up your dev environment pays off...

Having 6 new employees join our startup. The script installs pretty much all dev tools and apps as well as sets up the device management profiles. 😎

When you finally get the team running on git and your boss gives you a bitbucket to commemorate

Words of wisdom (WOW) !!

Q: "Why isn't she committing to me?"
A: "Because you are in her .gitignore list"...

As cold as the water was that night..

When you want a stress ball but can't think of a good rant

Pm: Can you make a prototype in 3 weeks?

Me: Sure, but just for the sake of demoing something to the customer. It will take more time for production ready code.

(3 weeks later)

PM (to customer): We can sign you up today and you can use it tomorrow.

Me: 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Copied an ISO file to a flash drive and wonderd why it doesn't boot...

My experience with Adobe...
(I recently moved to Canada)

Me: I want to give you money. (Tries to pay with Canadian card)

Adobe: Sorry, you have a US account, you must use a US card.

Me: Okay, what are my options to pay with my Canadian card?

Adobe: We have to delete your US account and create a Canadian one.

Me: Okay... Why can't you just switch the country from US to Canada on my account?

Adobe: *bullcrap response*

Me: Okay, delete it and transfer everything.

*Kicks me out of the chat.
*I log back in. Try to reconnect to customer service chat.

Adobe: AdobeID unable to participate in chat.

*I'm 30 minutes into this ordeal

Me: (to myself) I could literally torrent this program in 5 minutes 🤔

Lesson: if a company wants people to not torrent their software make it easier for a willing fucking customer to buy your software!

Since the chat doesn't work anymore, I called customer service and am still on hold.... 😤😤😤

Why does the internet have borders?

I feel like I need a shower after looking at this 💀🚿

Css is most definitely a woman who's mad at you but won't tell you why.

"What's wrong? what did I do? "

"Nothing..."

Linux <3

There is always someone better than you. Just try to beat your old self.

I'm building a website for a new company and the boss doesn't understand technology at all. says he doesn't want me using any html because it is old and I have to use python because it's a 'hot language.' I try to explain that html is for websites and he replies 'not mine.'

I just updated my website to be GDPR compilant. (hopefully). It was the last one.
I'm so pissed right now. I have invested tens of hours for this FUCKING SHIT. I'm not against privacy regulations - I appreciate them. But this is not the way to enforce them IMO.

When you tell your friend about rubber duck debugging

I hate how people think that to be a "hacker" or hacking is this special job title. lol. Hacking is just using something in a way in which it was not intended to be used.

So pretty much think ...anal sex.

There. Now many people are "hackers"

QA: Please Look at this Defect.
Me: Okay not a problem!
QA: Thanks
Me: <Starts to look at Defect>
QA: 2 mins later. Do you have an ETA on when it will be fixed?
Me: Not yet, I'm still looking at it.
QA: Do you know what time it can be fixed? I have a deadline.
Me: I don't know what's wrong yet, I can't tell you when it will be fixed if I don't know what's wrong.
QA: Okay. Update Me.
Me: Opens Dev Rant.

I hope my boss dies tonight. I will fuck his wife and fill his grave with soil myself.

My algorithms professor uses safari on Windows as his main browser

Github

I write code,
I am a writer.
I fight with bugs,
I am a fighter.
I optimise code,
to make it tighter.

I... I can up vote a post? Without having at least X points? Psh, this place is way better than Stack Overflow.

A nice UML diagram of a typical Electron application

Headphone - an instrument to never get annoyed or distracted by loud or silly people's noises!

Guidance counselor at school: so what field do you want to go into?

Me: computer science

GC: what does that entail?

Me: programming

GC: that's like super repetitive, right? You're a smart kid don't do that

In my head: no you mf dingle-dong. That's the job that will take your job away from you in the next 5 years

Ffs, why do people think coding and entering data into Excel are the same things?

I forget things really easily. Don't believe me?

I started reading a rant and thought
"wow, so interesting, and this is what is happening to me!"

Then realised it was my rant I had just posted.

It's ok computer. I go to sleep after 20 mins of inactivity too.

I'll just leave this here....

Noisy collegues. Also the people who come to talk anytime.

I went on an interview was given an algorithm to solve, solved it in 30 mins and they had allocated 20 mins for it. So I guess I suck. I build shit, I don't do algos that often so I'm obviously rusty.

interviewer: so why should we hire you over a CS graduate.

me: cause I can get shit done.

... akward silence

interviewer: what do you mean by that? like html and CSS?

me: as you can see, I have built large scale real-time web apps with React/Redux (the stack they supposedly use and the position they're hiring for!) the knowledge I have is practical, it can't be learned from books, and it can't be learned from a course. Only building, breaking and rebuilding over time will teach you this knowledge. So essentially a CS grad, who hasn't committed the same amount of hours as I have, can't possibly match me. But they probably can better explain the real world applications of using linked lists...and won't have to Google what Pascal's triangle is like I had to....

interviewer: I see. we will be in touch.

lol well I guess they'll be in touch..

*team convo*

Dev: We will create another branch for the changes and merge them when required.

Director: Can we not do the changes in the current branch and comment them out until required? I think that’s cleaner and not confusing in my opinion.

Beautiful mf!

My director likes to cut-off people mid-sentences. It’s every fucking time and it’s so fucking annoying. Like just fucking listen to me! That’s your fucking job!!

> TeamLeader1: I just discovered SQL is actually super fast! The low responsiveness I've experienced comes from our ORM!
> IHateForALiving: well of course SQL is blazingly fast. SQL has been refined by the best engineers in the world for the past 50 years, its performances are unparalleled for everything you could possibly need, unless you want to scale REALLY big. Sequelize, instead, is an Active Record ORM, so it's bound to struggle with huge amount of data, because every single row will get attached a significant amount of black magic to make sure everything syncs correctly. Why is that?
> TeamLeader1: I have a problem with this frontend component, it doesn't allow pagination. I tried downloading the whole DB to bypass that, but the ORM is slow... so I will bypass the ORM and download the whole table with a raw query. Look at that! It works like a charm, it's super duper fast!'

This mf is downloading some 35 thousand rows every time some user loads a page because he doesn't know how to paginate the fucking table with Angular, there's no way these people are real.

Found this good one XD

So the company I work for had a critical project they needed done in 8 days.
We told our boss it wasn't possible because of the scope of the project but he went on with motivational speeches about how anything is possible. So he hired 12 devs for 8 days.
The scope of the project is already big enough but everyday upper management either add 10 new features, modify 2, or delete some already.
We basically sleep 2 hours a day and today is the last day. 5 minutes ago we just had a meeting that we're supposed to change a core feature. We don't even have a stable system yet and everyone is fucking pissed.

My setup

The feeling of not knowing enough plagues me constantly

I swear I'm going to punch the next mf who asks me to hack FB.

Fun fact you dumbass: YOU 👏🏻 DON'T👏🏻HAVE👏🏻TO👏🏻 REVIEW👏🏻THE 👏🏻PLACE

I get asked to review places I've never been all the fucking time. But like an adult with a BRAIN I swipe away.

"Life is hard. It’s harder when you’re stupid" ~ someone who has a mf point

Writing a tic-tac-toe player in Prolog. So much fun solving a problem with only rules and no loop control 😍

WTF!!???

Ctrl+Y doesn't redo in android studio

My most intense day as a dev was when we had a product announcement day (with 70 engineers from dozens of companies invited) and the night before the app still didn't run all of the way through.

My team and I worked all night and had our first successful run-through at 10am when the announcement presentation and demo was at 1pm. All I can say is that I didn't breath when that demo was running live... But it worked flawlessly.

After that experience I realized that I had enough of non-tech management setting unrealistic deadlines, quit that job, and am now helping to build a startup. It has been so much more fulfilling and now I set the deadlines. 😎

I'm finding myself as a night owl rather than a morning person. 😂

A bug is never just a mistake. It represents something bigger. An error of thinking. That makes you who you are.
-ElliotAlderson:

Why the fuck someone write "used linux to speed up development" in your resume. But when you have to use it, questions like "where to download git for linux?" appears?

Why do people have to lie? I am seriously getting tired of it.

Context: While I was on vacation the company hired some guy we’ll call Bob.
Bob is a senior with 10+ years of experience. 5 of those years in React (supposedly).
I got back from vacation and was told I’d be working on a project with Bob.
I’ve worked in teams before so I thought no problem.

Now I am aware that different people have different styles, so that’s why we agreed on a lint config with some fancy git hooks.

I was excited at first because the project actually seems nice, but my excitement soon turned into terror.

First of all, Bob doesn’t seem to understand Git…fair enough, I’ll give him a quick guide…

Mf calls me at 11pm on a Friday because he can’t push because the tests are failling.

Now tests. Bob doesn’t write those. Great.

We had created a few components to use throughout the project.

Bob seems to consistently forget what components are and why you write them and just imports the defaults from the UI library we’re using.

Bob also has a kink for hardcoding values for some reason.

I talked to Bob multiple times about this and he just tells me he’ll change it but in the end the PR stays open for 5 days, before it’s actually me who goes in and fixes it. Oh and yeah this shit keeps happening over and over again.

Now I know some of us devs hate meetings but for the love of God Bob just show up. You don’t even have to speak. Or at least answer a message that corresponds to the working hours and not in the middle of the night.

I am getting tired of this behavior and am seriously holding back from reporting this to the management. It’s been a month and I am seriously worried about the project. I have my own stuff to do but it takes time for me to clean up his absolute mess that doesn’t even pass the CI.

Call me an asshole I don’t care. It’s been a month and I’m legit worried about the future of the project.

Introduction to graphics

Lecturer says "this is a very practical course. In fact I think we should have a practical exam"

All students agree. He would sort out that matter.

Meanwhile he taught us how to making shapes in java, then a house, then a game...

And the exam was for us to make a building where a user can walk through the building using the arrow keys...

What fun we had. We got out marks...and everybody did well!!!!

Director: What’s the next step on <thing>?

Manager: There is no next step because *manager explains*.

Director: How can not there be a next step?

Manager: *explains the same thing again, reading from a mail chain Director is also a part of*

Director: Okay, so net-net there is no next step.

Beautiful conclusion mf.

When you are in a hurry to make payment .. and some fucker has done this.

Best debugging tool :)

Oh yeah that shouldn't take too long right? I mean it's just the front end.

No shut your fucking dumb ass mouth up. It will take long. The front end is very complicated, and your stupid fucking ass who couldn't learn to code is in no position to estimate how long it will take. Do us all a favor and stick to the "business" side. Fucking incompetent idiot.

If you're not a programmer, when it comes to estimating how long a task will take. Just shut the fuck up. Just cause you work in this industry does not qualify you to estimate a task. Just shut the fuck up.

*Presents finished product to client
Client: We won't pay until you add this new feature that was never in the original specs.
*One week later after adding new feature
Client: Uhh, actually there's something else we want, do that then you get paid.

😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Totally..

*me* finding solutions on StackOverflow, Medium, API Docs for hours
*senior dev* walks in and changes one line of code
*works* O.o

Love it when you open up a frontend devs project and among some 50 included npm packages for a really simple project you see this

I been seeing spam on devrant lately. It is usually a new account which only have 1 rant (a spam)

Maybe devrant should include some kind of "Are you a developer captcha" which make you fix a bug before creating an account.

Is it just me or is it really difficult to use software/tools that aren't visually pleasing?

Error: rant not found

It will never stop happening... people who don't know shit about code, assuming some conclusion and giving their opinions on software.

SUNDAYS ARE THE WORST!!

Normally it’s the weekend but recently it’s just so stressful!

It’s like you can’t even relax because you’re supposed to be preparing for the week ahead!

It doesn’t feel like the weekend anymore!

Why is planning and prioritizing
So MF Hard for me!?!!!!

Why did my brain cope with stress and trauma by simply checking out & spacing out!?

I got so good at it that I find it hard to bring my focus back—it takes soooo much effort to do what i need to do

I’m So Freaking TIRED.

Now this is true. Devrant changed me and now, after one of the devranters post I'm finally searching for a new job. Most of the time I was using PHP, but here I've seen lot of rants about laravel. Now I'm building a website with it and going to change my job. Thank you Devrant creators and community.

"A comment isn't needed if the name is good and the responsibility is clear" - M.Howell

windows :D

Fuck what you heard. THIS is what success looks like. Thanks devRant.

you know you have problems when you set this up as your page blocker redirects

Stack overflow was down..
I don't know why, but it developed some kind of respect for senior developers who don't had access to stack overflow in their time.

Instantly thought about new js framework name

What's wrong with the USPS...my stressball has been stuck in Jamaica for the last 10 months...

Stopid mf fat fingers, worked 2 weeks building a design system and 2 hours ago I accidentally shift deleted the scss folder and lost every fcking file, no git, no backup, no nada,guess what, tried to recover the files with 2 Permanently deleted file recovery softwares and from fcking 20 files, 17 were corrupted and weren’t readable, I and my designer friend use a folder sync app, the fcking app synced the delete and she lost the files aswell, fooockiinggg shieeeet, to my don’t know how where luck I managed to recover the copiled javascript chunck from my vue app that had the css styles embeded in the file, you know where I found the js file? iN ThE fcking cache of google chrome. Today I almost broke down to tears, but nonetheless it was a reeee moment for me.

Don't you just love it when you have to debug someones years old project, who left ages ago and you see

2017: jump into the near future

AnotherJSFramework.js

So AJSF.js

Gah gets me every time I open an image I want to share with friends on messages later.
Share dialog ain't cutting it.

I was watching the movie and there is a confession scene with a sunset. I thought wow , it's look nice and just realize that it was not a sunset scene, just my blue light filter turning on at that exact moment.

Finally moving to new job. From monolith PHP dev, to nodejs.

My distrust in technology does not come from it being foreign to me, on the contrary, being a developer, I have gotten to know, how things are coded and built.

It's the time of AI, so add that mf AI to our compiler that we don't have to fix the errors anymore!😈

Hello.
C++ is mysoginist, patriarchal and i propose the 'friend' keyword be removed as it oppresses weak people like me and the developers of lang are fkin racist neo nazis and hope they die in hell for what dey did.

It has just come to my attention that if a class declares another function or class as 'friend' the other func/class can access the private members of the said class. I haven't also coded even a day in c++ but that information is irrelevant as of now.

THIS IS VERY OFFENSIVE TO ME AND SENDS ALL THE WRONG SIGNALS TO SOCIETY. Just because i call you a friend does that mean you can grope me in public? How can women be safe if their private parts can be accessed by any of their friends?

WOMEN ARE OPPRESSED IN WORKPLACES AND I TELL YOU ITS ALL C++'S FAULT. I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS BIGOTRY YOU FILTHY
UNCULTURED SWINE. IF THIS SHITTY KEYWORD IS NOT REMOVED I SWEAR TO GOD ILL HAVE THE MF PRESIDENT BAN C++ WHO DO YOU THINK WE ARE YOU FKIN MORONS.

I'm trying to explain to this dumb mf-er why we can't use send data simply.
It's a mobile platform I said, you can't rely on having network I said, the dumbass users might try it on 2% battery I said.
DO'H BUT MY INTERZ CAN DO IT IN 5 MINUTES.
Yeah, enjoy crashing the app with asynctask like a stupid bitch. When it fails under nearly every possible condition that deviates from the ideal, you can go write down how great your interns are, eat it up, shit it out and when you grow a flower from that, then I might help you again.
Retard server people.

Brought a stressball into work today (not a devrant one) and it popped within 10 minutes, of course causing more stress.

So I'm going to leave this code till tomorrow.
The bugs should have magically gone by then

Of course the shouting episodes all happened during the era I was doing WordPress dev.

So we were a team of consultants working on this elephant-traffic website. There were a couple of systems for managing content on a more modular level, the "best" being one dubbed MF, a spaghettified monstrosity that the 2 people who joined before me had developed.

We were about to launch that shit into production, so I was watching their AWS account, being the only dev who had operational experience (and not afraid to wipe out that macos piece of shit and dev on a real os).

Anyhow, we enable the thing, and the average number of queries per page load instantly jumps from ~30 (even vanilla WP is horrible) to 1000+. Instances are overloaded and the ASG group goes up from 4 to 22. That just moves the problem elsewhere as now the database server is overwhelmed.

Me: we have to enable database caching for this thing *NOW*

Shitty authors of the monstrosity (SAM): no, our code cannot be responsible for that, it's the platform that can't handle the transition.

Me: we literally flipped a single switch here and look at the jump in all these graphs.

SAM: nono, it's fine, just add more instances

Me: ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS?
Me: - goes and enables database caching without any approvals to do so, explaining to mgmt. that failure to do so would impair business revenue due to huge loading times, so they have to live with some data staleness -

SAM: Noooo, we'll show you it's not our code.
SAM: - pushes a new release of the monstrosity that makes DB queries go above 2k / page load -

...

Tho on the bright side, from that point on I focused exclusively on performance, was building a nice fragment caching framework which made the site fly regardless of what shitty code was powering it, tuned the stack to no end and learned a ton of stuff in the process which allowed me to graduate from the tar pit of WP development.

Programmer like working at night (at least I like working at night). Would it be cool if there is a company which the work hour will start at midnight and end at early morning?
Customer facing side of the company can work the regular hour while developer will work at night.

They are not interviewing me , I am interviewing them.

I am eagerly waiting for Ubuntu 18.04 LTS only for gnome.

IT Dept creates an update installer with a Message of "Your computer will restart now to install updates" with only an OK button when your in the middle of work with multiple apps and windows open...

1. Kill Process
2. Resume Work

So I get home from work, sit down infront of my computer and start browsing a few sites.

The loading times was not as fast as they should so I checked out my network setup. I had been auto connected to my ISP provided modems WiFi, which happens every now and then, so I reconnect to my faster and better WiFi AP.

Invalid password. What? Ok.. Let me just type in the same password, slowly..
Invalid password. MF..... Same password, looking down at my keyboard.
Invalid password. GDMF...

Browse to my AP config site, type in username and password.
Invalid password. Oh no you fucking did not just deny me entry as well.
Ok. Something is up and I'm going to get to the bottom of this!

Boot up Kali, fires loads of crap at the WiFi and the site. Still no damn luck! WTH!
I go upstairs to my AP, turn it off and on again.

I can now login on both my AP WiFi and config page.
It had frozen.
Thats two hours of troubleshooting for a "have you tried turning it off and on again" solution.
I feel great about my competence after this.

The most scary stuff when changing jobs is not the fear if the code is spaghetti or not. It’s onboarding and how the company expect new devs to learn the domain.

When I joined the company I am working on, they did not have at all documentation in regards to domain knowledge. I had to ping devs who have been with the company for years so they can explain to me. Product Managers are useless. They can explain the ticket but cannot point me in the codebase and DB fields that that ticket needs to touch.

They would say to me “Ask what you don’t know “. MF, I don’t know what I don’t know. How am I supposed to come up with questions?

Cherry on top are JIRA “Stories”. It’s title and 1 sentence and it was expected of me to do the discovery.

Fast forward, there are still things that I am learning. I work in an industry that is very complicated and has a lot of information to take. I don’t get burned out of code and tasks. I get burned out of trying to understand my tickets and connect them with the code and DB.

I hate responsive shit and the MF who coined it! It’s shit work, and I am tired of fucking doing it. Bootstrap sucks and still fucks up. FML!

These are the programmers who I had encountered and detest intensely:

1. Programmers who addicted to take other programmers' failure as an achievement.

2. Programmers who are overly arrogant. (Hey just because you know something , that don't make you a God)

3. Programmers who stealing my code without crediting me, and yet he got paid.

4. Programmers who discourage new developers.

5. Programmers who can't take criticism (Once I told a dev that his code is not clean as he decided to name the variable like __fuckingFuckingFuckningVar = "Fuck"; , he yelled at me that i am a MF. Which it's completely childish in my opinion, as a software engineer, I think programme a clean code for easy maintain and understandable for others, it is a responsibility.)

6. Programmers who compare me with others.

7. Programmers who are not friendly. (Don't be like Stackoverflow).

Anyone else feel that work is making them a worst developer

stolen from reddit, sue me

I'm just trying to get my boss on the phone and his secretary tells me he is in a seminar but I walk by his office and he is eating a MF DONUT

My current boss and soon to be on-site boss marked me as 'God of Code'.

Is that good/normal/bad?

Electron is pure cancer.

Dear git, why are you lying, there's no changes in that file, you say that yourself...

Why do humanity collect things that they will never use? More importantly why do I have many ebook that I will never read?

YouTube if you want to monopolize the browser at least make it right.

You told me that my browser is not supported and I should "update my browser" and when I click the link , you said

Your headphones are broken

my girlfriend can't give up her silly needs and i can't give up wasting my time on my arch!

Wish my 3 project managers would realize when everything is a P1, nothing is.

Logging into my school website when... WHY DO YOU USE 🤬 FRNCH FOR BOOLEAN IN THE URL M🤬F

Ok, I know this is a francophone college, but come on!

Vodafone India is so shit omfg

Run npm install, ERROR json parse error due to ssl exception

Run pip install, again ssl exception

Run gradle build, again ssl exception!!!

Now everytime i gotta make a new project or install a dependency in anything, i have to pray to the blood god that cache contains a valid/uncorrupted package dependency or else ill have to nuke cache and borrow internet from someone else.
Once i port it to some other operator, i am gonna incinerate this mf sim.

I've been trying to query some data from an 18 GB xml DB through BaseX for about 9 hours without success.

Just wondered how LinQ would work with the same xml info. Just got the info I needed in less than 15 minutes.

God bless LinQ.

Spent fucking 11 hrs on fixing a stupid bug in Laravel that caused all my unit tests to fail. Just because that unit testing method has no unit test...

I will never understand why my university is requiring me to take upper level physics. I understand the need to understand electricity and circuitry but this semester has been mostly quantum and I don't see how this will apply to development.

I hate framework lock in.

i hate when people ask me what im doing when im done with school. mf i dont even think im gonna make it past my 20s

Tech dumb Friend just came in with his laptop saying it was overheating and shutting down for d past 2 weeks for no fkin reason. Initial thoughts were dusty vents but wow i opened task manager and ders literally a bitcoin miner named GPUminer.exe running in d top of task manager task list. Retard mfs didn't even mask d mf name. Resetting d shitshow now thanks mr hax0rBoi.

In uni
Lecturer: SOAP is insecure...

In interview: Any disadvantages you see with SOAP?

Me: The last i read SOAP is insecure. Im abit rusty with this knowledge

Interviewer: ahhh okay, SOAP is actually secure...

DAMN YOU LECTURER!

Every day I get more convinced, that companies are only hiring the mentally disabled to their marketing departments.

Gitlab now spams ads constantly in my Facebook feed, because "I have visited gitlab.com".

If I have visited it, I am clearly already using it, stop annoying me please.

The devil in my mind said "Let's make a CSS compressor and de-compressor."
I said OK.
And then the mf added "use emojis as symbols".

Like, damn, why not.
Expect me to make a sideloader for CSS and de-compressor and shit.

yee

ERROR [SUCCESSFUL ] org.scala-sbt.ivy#ivy;2.3.0-sbt-cb9cc189e9f3af519f9f102e6c5d446488ff6832!ivy.jar (13350ms)

I have a Successful error.

I lose motivation to do anything today.

I don't want to watch movie , I don't want to eat , am I facing a different form of burnout or am I depressed?

I hope I will be feeling better tomorrow.

Even scammer are becoming lazy.

How can you bring in a PBX device with no manual at all and the settings are all in Chinese and expect me to be a God and configure it?

The one module/application everyone hates at work.

Hello fellow devs, how do you clear your mind when you cant make something work? I think most of you had this feeling like 'fuck that, creating from beggining will be easier'

Apparently, drake made a song called "Kiki do you love me".

No. Just no.

Too bad it was you and not MF Doom.

Started off in College learning the basic Java and C#. That was enough to land my first internship, during that internship I'd go home each night and teach myself whatever I needed to know to get through the next day.

Within a year I became the project lead on an API for my groups application.

1. Fake it till you make it.
2. Act like you've been there before.
3. Never stop learning.

Coding is not the solution to unemployment or gender inequality... This what the MF don't understand.... Until you create a better Sys and population is controlled and there is cultural evaluation. - you MF are just running a circus show.

Every MF want to jump into the bandwagon of cheap CSR - "hey we are empowering people by teaching people how to develop a website , aren't we good peopLE 😊"
Lol like programming is fucking open source, you don't need to teach people, anyone interested can learn it , and they are billion FREE RESOURCES out here for them to learn, so why not just fucking focus on doing something significant than clowning around "become a dev ".
Fuck havard, fuck Google fuck KMPG fuck the fucking dumb Government fuck youth empowerment📌

I just have a weird dream.

I am talking to a person and I enter into a dream land for a few minute (I think it a few minute) since I am really tired.

The weird thing is I am still having a conversation with the same person in my dream about the same topic. Now I am awake and that person doesn't notice that I was asleep (Good job my unconsciousness,good job my auto reply system).

Now here is a problem.I cannot distinguish the dream from reality and the detail of the conversation merge together. For instance I don't remember what is the correct price of the item since the price of the item differ from my dream and real world. The price of the item may be 2000 or 1800 , which one is it?

There are also various details which merge together.

best website mf

How do you guy (think of) prototype UI?

I have used the pen and paper approach but when you add the interactions such as clicks and animation on the paper,it become messy.

I feel that coding up a full blown front end for prototyping is overkill. Because when you want to prototype the list , you also need to insert the dummy data in order for you see probably clicks and drag animation.

When I have to be responsible for shit that others do.

Did I get old or did I just finish plucking all the low hanging fruit?

When I started on a programming journey about a decade ago everything feel exciting and I learn a lot of things per day (variable,loop,method,class,---etc)

Now a decade later I am more concern with the overall system design,algorithms usage (Big O Notation),how reliable the system it,and how the configurations are set up and how easy is it to change them.

I now notice that I don't really learn anything learn new.Everything feel the same.

Want redundancy? Use more server

Want faster performance? Make a parallel system.

Want program to run on low end device? Think about how memory and storage will be used in system.

Is this a stage everyone went through like puberty? or I am just having a mid life crisis?

PS : I haven't even reach 30 yet but I feel too old.

These fuckin morons piss on the toilet seats. They should get potty training also. Chutiye Saale!

I know there is SoundCloud, Earbits for music... Sometimes I use YouTube.

I am coding to get to my beast mode but my YouTube mix picks up a song I don't want and then I change tabs just to skip or change your mix...then poooofff

ALL OVA SURRRDDDDEN

You are watching "scaring cats videos"

I am interested in how you guy discover devrant.

Does someone refer devrant to you or does your feeling explode and you finally found devrant?

As for me someone posted a link on Discord.

*last call POST Breakup*

She : make a PROMISE, no CALLBACK!

Me: Got it.

*That's how it started*

Coding is like drinking.If you code too much you get muscle pain (hangover) the next day.

I am having a muscle pain but I still want to code.

Some things never change

> Have to deploy only one feature to production
> Create branch from latest tag, cherry pick the correct changes
> Mess up merge
> Almost deploy resulting broken code to production
> Realize at last moment
> Let out a loud sigh, start over

Every damn time.

So there is this program with legacy code from 15 years ago the client is in love with. Every time we try to accomplish something it proves that the mf who wrote it was so lazy and incompetent that he should have never chosen this profession. Goto, one-two letter for type and variable names. Dude even wrote an ascii decoder as if he would be payed for lines of code. Today we found a code where a rows of data was misindexed by one (we incorrectly assumed that we could extract some data from it but the column we wanted to use was just there for decoration, it was not actually used). the calculations the system uses are replicated for each interface with duplicate lines of code so the same binary data can show different values because of the multipliers.

If I could I woukd go back in time and bang the guy's head to the desk emphasising each word like "You - should - quit - and - never - ever - write - code -again"

I am fairly convinced coding in a non dark mode editor will slowly ruin your code due to excessive exposure

Me : *insert random name here* .js is a sign you are lazy devs.
My Friend : Meh, this is just side project. Only to try it out.
Me : You still can do that fast in plain js tho.

Also Me Sometimes later:

MF : whacha tryna' do?
Me : gonna deploy this app real quick.
MF : what js framework do you use ?
Me : Yes.

God something's wrong with me. Fucking hell.

I think I am strange because I cannot stand perfume.
The smell of perfume irradiate me, the same with smell of leather polish.
I know that most person are fine with perfume and think that they smell nice but for me perfume smell weird.
When I need to go to formal party where almost every person wear perfume (both man and female) , it drain me too quickly.
What are you guy stand of perfume?

Hi. I am new here. I have a question. I have been using window my whole life until now. I want to try linux now. Which one best? And is there any place where i can get all info(installion n all) about it....

Is there is an extension in VSCode where the ";" is added (when needed) if the file extension is for the programming language which support ";" ?

I been switching back and forth from the python and C++ and my sub-conscious is killing me.

Now it's a C++ I need a ";" , moment later I am coding in python and python don't need ";" .

Fml 😥

Woke up in the middle of the night, got an idea , write an idea into notebook , went back to sleep.

Is sleeping on your desk an actual thing which happen or it is a misconception provided by movies?

I have never slept on my desk no matter how tired I am (I had done a week coding marathon) .I always wrap myself with fluffy blanket when sleeping.

I love having a clean, open working environment...but I hate doing the work to keep that environment maintained.

Thank python. Thank you , you just waste a hour of my life. The function is silently fail and spend a hour trying of to debug it.After a hour you know what a problem is? The parameter type.

The function expect a string but I am putting non-string type in the parameter and it just silently fail with no exception thrown. Great!

Good code does not exist

Client push back: when the client wants an impractical feature to be implemented and you tell them HELL NO, with a little sugar coating of course

One of the founders of my startup does not write tests....

Me: we have to all write tests. I explain unit tests, integration, etc.

Him: I do... I have a test that checks if the app crashes or not.

Me: that is not what I meant (writes test because he won’t) 🙄

I shot myself in the foot again!!

These incident usually happen at restless night.

Some night I become too restless so I do what any programmer would do, I program.

The "novel" idea just come up and I code until I become too tired. I usually finish the prototype of the project before I fell asleep.

I usually found out that I have reinvent the wheel the next morning! Great. My "novel" idea is not too "novel" after all.

It is hard to find the novel project these day since it is too hard to beat the decade of collective intelligence of programmer.

Your code is 6ix9ine. Stupid, meaningless lines, and also a snitch, selling data left and right.

My code is always MF DOOM.

a javascript?
A JAVASCRIPT?
A MF JAVASCRIPT???

I been doing a online course and they provide a exercise to do in Jupyter notebook.

I notice that the exercise they wanted us to do this time is too complex. After finishing the exercise I submit it for review.

I thought I am doing an exercise but I had actually done an assignment and submit it :(

Lucky I pass that assignment. It is the worst misunderstanding I have done during my student life.

The new google calendar UI looks good!

I’m a mf cutthroat - people who have shit on me before reach out to the depths of a hellhole project in search of me rescuing them, and I only cut their fingers off so they fall back in

Wired's ads to subscribe cover half the page and get annoying so I use the only super power I have to get rid of it.

Good bye "paywall-bar paywall-bar--visible"

Office manager/HR:

• this is fucked up!
• I fucking hate this shit of a job
• I took a pay cut to get this job MF
• come near me and I'll cut you #moodtoday

Anyone else have similar experience with HR?

I need to add new feature into the program which I wrote years ago so I start digging up the source code. The project is written in a language which I no longer code in.

That code is really poorly written with most of them don't have tests. I also find out that previous self is really a genius since he can keep track of huge project with almost no documentation.

To make matter worst, there are unused components (class,feature) in the source code. "Current me" have a policy of "just adding only a feature you need and remove unused feature" but it seem the "previous me" don't agree with the "current me".

The previous me also have the habit of using writing insane logic. I can remember what particular class and methods is doing but I can't figure out the details.

For example one method only have 5 line of code but it is very hard to figure out what those do.

The saving grace is that he know the important for method signature and using immutable data structure everywhere.

I was under the influence of caffeine and have a constant sleep deprivation at the time (only sleeping about 4 hour every day) so I can't blame him too hard.

I can't blame him too hard, right?

Could someone invent a time machine already? Invent time machine not to save the world but to save the developers from himself.

Ok It's my last term in CS and guess what I have the knowledge as same as some one in high school i rly don't know what to do nAw any suggestions

In my company there is a weekly employee benefit that each employee can get. The advantage is not carry over to next week if you don't take it the current week.

There is a junior in my department who is not taking a weekly benefit. I am sure he know about the weekly benefit because I have explain it to him before.

I said to him if he is not taking his portion of weekly benefit , can I take his instead? I explicitly said it to him that he can said "No" if he wanted and he don't need to consider the junior-senior relationship since I was mentoring him.

He said "I can take his portion if I want".

I know I got his permission but he is a quiet and reserved person (nothing wrong with it) , I am a reserved person myself.

I have to initiate a conversation and give him a chance to speak up like "What do you think about ... ? " , "X,do you think it is a good idea to ..." ,

My question is that does my junior give his permission to take him weekly benefit because he is a reserved person and doesn't like to tell "No".

What do you guy think?

Unsure of what path to take as a developer.
I'll be graduating from uni next year and I'll probably go into web dev but I'm not really passionate about it building websites for a living.

Mom: I type weird characters called commands all day to make computers work.

Dad: I program/code

All married devs here who married devs

Why did you chose a dev and not another profession?

Of course skipping the love

Something very interesting today

I worked on an API feature and it was approved and merge to the stable copy of the project. But then comes the demo.

Now we used Heroku(this devil)
The database uses sqlite. I can register an account on the web application. But the user table has only the admin account even though i have successfully managed to register.

I dont know what sorcery this was!

I simply went with the saying "it is working on my local machine"

Only to realise minutes to the demo the build pack was not done well at the beginning...

What is life...

Best: realizing that development could be a career and switching to it as a major
Worst: first dev job working on a 15 year old legacy visual basic project with over 3 million lines

Mf php and mf mysql database. Fuck you for being such a cunt.wasted my whole fucking day to configure the shit i didnt even broke. All i wanted from your ass was a storage for users but no you piece of shit. And a fucking special mention for php bcz that shit is a stinky piece of work.

All this aside i need a db which can store some data and is easy to use and not an sql one for my very small cllge project. Anything that i can use from my java app.

!rant

Is there anyway to support dev rant using Google Play credits instead of donating "real" money?

Flex box, seems nice unless it doesn't wrap the row the way you expect

Its funny when your code is tested by your peers and they approve it and it works...and when you present your progress to your PO he says it doesnt work...hmmmmm

Anyone seeing this rant from Sydney? If yes, why is it so hard to get any IT/Dev jobs for an international student? Sucks.

It is so frustrating working in a pure waterfall environment. My current work is constantly interrupted by QA and UAT defects. Many of which have nothing to do with my code. But they still require me to stop what I'm doing and research what happened. It's 2:43 and after meetings and research I haven't written a line of code on my current project. Ugh!

Go away laravel, nobody likes your magic methods.

Was trying live image of nitrux os during our class break today, chilling out, eating lunch with friends. Out of nowhere THIS fkin retard comes in, looks at screen and shouts in front of d class "yo linux is trash never use linux i used zorin for a week worst fkin experience of my life" and goes away before i cud respond.

My friend signalled me to keep calm as my anger was apparent. Mf I wanted to fkin slam my laptop on dis fucker's sly face and gut d kid. Friend slowly instructs "in time, brethren, in time"

He just asked me for a windows activator. Thinking of sending a bitcoin miner virus.

I need to write the maintenance document in case I die.

Any idea what to include?

I have written a lot of software which include family business and other business depend on by myself.

I have an idea of adding my git user name and password. Email and social media user name and password.Configuration file/Configuration property. Troubleshooting information.Program overview.

I been looking at the job listing at my country and I can only found the job for web.
What happen to the quality desktop application development?

By looking at the prototypes and technical ideas which I fail to implements due to various reason , I got an idea.

I got an idea to have a kind of grave yard where people can bury their fail prototype and technical ideas and other people can dug them for inspiration or profits.

As the saying goes "One man trash is another man treasure."

I hope this idea of making a grave yard will not be "an actual fail idea"

Why the FUCK do I feel an urge to always update all the mf packages and then spend hours debugging some shitty mismatch? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

We commit sin just by living.

Task Manager (Not Responding)

Beautiful mf!

After 2 days of reverse engineering another developers code, I wish Laravel would go and die in a fire.

Corona virus finally affect where I live
Everyone started hording stuff.

XD mf... so can I use it or not?

Can i just get a simple consistent react tutorial that goes step by step even when consuming an API...

IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK FOR?

Focus: Get up and walk around, disturb someone(calculated disturbing), break a window,

Procrastinating: DO IT NOW, JUST DO IT, MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE

....sorry

Yes my 2 cents

Ohhhh my i have to rebase...

*Psyche* *Psyche*

But first let me drink some wine

I am going to start my new job tomorrow. I just hope I do not mess up too much.

!rant Just letting it out !

From my childhood days I never used to make it a habit to remember our house address as we used to change it often.

My father was the eldest in our family and he took care of his siblings. One younger brother got a nice job and was financially sound to own a house, and we were still a joint family for some time. After a year or so my father was insulted and he moved out in a fit of rage and for ~20 years we have hopped around from one place to another.

This week I will be moving in to my new house along with my parents. Hope I will remember this address forever.

I talk to a lot of people and have 4 meetings today.

So sick of my coworker explaining to me how I should do a task. Dude, I've already planned out how I'm going to handle the situation. If you really want to help, wait until I create my pull request, review it, and then make your suggestions there. Unless I ask for your advice on how to do something, I don't need you to tell me how you would do things, especially since i have, what, 5 years working in the framework when you have 2 months?