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My 80 year old very absent minded dad made a website, all by himself, using a two decades old book he got from the thrift store.
He's even hosting it himself on an old laptop running Debian, including a redirect to a beautiful nostalgic /~username/index.htm url (not gonna share the link, because his personal details are on there).
The whole site is incredibly carefully crafted, and I'm super proud of him.
Who cares if it's not a React app? The 14 kilobytes of HTML 4.0 markup load in 20-30ms, and it renders pretty much perfectly in every browser including Internet Explorer 4 and Edge.
🤷♂❤️
36 -
Boss decided to limit Wi-Fi access only to company computers.
Ended up blocking everyone, including himself.10 -
To the cunt who named himself "Uncaught ReferenceError: username is not defined":
Sincerely, fuck you.17 -
Android Development be like:
- Has great idea for app or feature
- Boots up PC
- Starts android studio and creates new project
- Build error
- Gradle build failed
- Android studio crashes
- Java Error
- Shutsdown PC
- Goes and hangs himself
Pretty accurate if you ask me 😀😀😀😎18 -
Production is down, a coworker got himself locked in his own apartment so he can’t leave and another is late, the phone won’t stop ringing
And I don’t have the credentials to access the production server
Just a monday morning, everything’s fine 🔥😊🔥7 -
Merch package signed by dfox himself :D
Maybe I should keep that part, should we ever blow up like Facebook hehehe
26 -
My weirdest ever co-worker was a man who called himself "the code" and wrote exclusively JavaScript.7
-
A guy on another team who is regarded by non-programmers as a genius wrote a python script that goes out to thousands of our appliances, collects information, compiles it, and presents it in a kinda sorta readable, but completely non-transferable format. It takes about 25 minutes to run, and he runs it himself every morning. He comes in early to run it before his team's standup.
I wanted to use that data for apps I wrote, but his impossible format made that impractical, so I took apart his code, rewrote it in perl, replaced all the outrageous hard-coded root passwords with public keys, and added concurrency features. My script dumps the data into a memory-resident backend, and my filterable, sortable, taggable web "frontend"(very generous nomenclature) presents the data in html, csv, and json. Compared to the genius's 25 minute script that he runs himself in the morning, mine runs in about 45 seconds, and runs automatically in cron every two hours.
Optimized!22 -
This is the coding rig for everyone that claims himself THE REAL PROGRAMMER (and everyone else except him is just an idiot, a noob or a kiddo).
8 -
Made a github.io portfolio website. Showed it to my friend. Asshole copied the whole code from the repo and made one for himself. Didn't even bother to fork the repo or even change the contents of the website. Just removed my name and photo and added his! 😡😡17
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Left my first comment after lurking for months and @dfox himself was the first liker. Better way to start the morning? 😅
3 -
Client wants PHP 7.2. I install PHP 7.1 by accident.
Client complains that I don't respond fast enough after 30 minutes (!).
I was in an appointment. I check the ticket. He messed up his entire server by trying to install PHP 7.2 himself because he couldn't wait half an hour longer. We always aim at 4 hours response time, and we hit it with every reply..
I apologize and tell him the costs for me fixing his mess. The client: "if it feels right for you to charge me because you never did your work right, do it."
Some people. How? HOW???17 -
Client called and a colleague picked up. Within 10 minutes his face went from happy to nearly eating himself in order to remain calm (veeery above average dumb/stupid person)
It was insanely entertaining to watch how he tried to keep himself together!
Yes, I've got sadistic tendencies sometimes 😊4 -
Now there was this meeting where our boss called our team to reach at exactly 8:00 . One minute more and you will be fired.
Turns out he himself reached at 8:15 for the meet. And we were just staring him, wanting to say, "Hey boss, you don't need to come anymore. YOU ARE FIRED."10 -
So today someone on my instagram feed posted a story of himself "deleting his facebook", "enough is enough"... Guess someone should tell him who owns ig 📷😂7
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Not truly a coworker, but a train conductor on my commute sees me coding all the time and chats with me about how he is teaching himself (I am also self taught). He makes me feel like a rock star for doing what I do 😎4
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Fuck this guy who calls himself a fullstack developer after doing a HelloWorld with Node.js and a bit of flex box.
No. Really. Stop with this bullshit.5 -
I went to a hackathon and I was surprised to see that the judge was a fellow devranteer himself! Saw many people with devrant Stickers on their laptop! The community is spreading...9
-
*starts coding by 7pm in the evening.
*remembers that he would soon have to go fetch something to eat but keeps on coding.
*tells himself he would get food by 10pm.
*checks the time - it's past 12am.
*codes all night long on an empty belly but doesn't care.10 -
When somebody submits an issue to your backlog that not even Software Development Jesus himself could fix
8 -
My boss fancies himself a tech. So he started exporting data from the users table. And deleting them after exporting them. You know so he can keep track of what he has exported. He deleted his own admin account in WordPress. And than asked me to remake it.5
-
I really hate how people see Bachelor of Computer Science as a meme.
I think it's because everyone who has a Computer calls himself a IT-Expert. So today on Xmas family joined for a meal, we talked about work and study and stuff...
Auntie: "So why do you need to study to Operate a Computer, my Son built one by himself without studying, you should study something solid like economics"
First I thought this was a meme, later I found out she was dead serious.
All the math, physics, scientific research, papers, software engineering just to operate a computer 😂
I'm not gonna call her names, because it's Xmas so:
father forgive them, because they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.10 -
Went for a raise. Got more than I wanted (but negotiated so boss thinks he got himself a deal). Fells good 😀
On the other side, with that I just reached lower end of average developer's wage in Poland...14 -
Once upon a time while browsing his Instagram, a young and inexperienced boy found a magic realm called devRant.
He decided to hop on the cyberweb of interconected computers, aka. the Internet and found the gate to the magic realm.
Timidly he took a step forward and found himself surrounded by strange structures called Rants and Stories.
No knowing what to do, he now roams in this new and strange realm looking for some guidence and perhaps even friendship.27 -
I played a prank on my coworkers. Covered the bottom sensor of the mouse with part of a post-it note. I went home for the night.
The following morning My boss was the only one in at first and spent an hour unplugging and plugging it back in. He was just about to go out to buy another mouse when someone else came in, immediately looked at the bottom, chuckled to himself and took it off.5 -
There was a time when the programming gods starting creating IDEs for their languages. And all obeyed that whenever the dev presses enter on an intellisense menu , the grace of the programming gods would help the dev. But VB rebelled. It was too much for him to spoon feed the dev, so he said to himself "NO MORE SHALL THEY PRESS ENTER AND HAVE THE GODS MAKE MAGICAL TEXT APPEAR! NO NO, TAB IT WILL BE, AND I'LL WATCH THEM BURN WHENEVER THEY TRY TO USE INTELLISENSE ON ME". And since then, VB has seen frustrations of devs beyond count.4
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A recruiter reached out to me via email and a voicemail. I politely declined and asked not to be contacted anymore. Somehow the asshole ends up in my office and comes up and introduces himself while he is with one of my superiors. He said we "spoke on the phone" (a lie) and he wanted to meet me. Creeped me out beyond belief, regardless for his true purpose of being there (which is still unknown to me).7
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That feel when your grandpa taught himself how to stream movies online and asks you to finally teach him how to torrent.
I'm so proud.3 -
after doing all the paperwork and packing his shit, he shaked hands with his now ex-boss, and with a smile, and after their hands are no longer touching, he told him with a really calm voice to go fuck himself.1
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I'm talking with this teenager that believes himself an engineer because he built a PC.
He is vehement in telling me that Linux came out in 2007 and it was Valve who developed it for Steam!
They he Googled it to prove me wrong and then... never spoke to me again 😂
I'm an Arch user dude! That's like, just one level under Linus Torvalds!13 -
I sit near a Spanish guy who talks to himself under his breath when writing code, I think its mostly swearing. You would think this would be annoying but I have grown fond of it as he sounds like a ninja, and its most entertaining to sit back and listen some times.4
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Student approaches recruitment table
Student points to cheap pen giveaway
Student stares at me
Student maintains eye contact until I uncomfortably ask "Can I help you?"
Student: "I like your pens"
(Awkward pause. I expected him to introduce himself or ask for a pen)
Me: "Uh, would you like one?"
(Student nods vigorously, says nothing)
Me: "here you go"
(Student walks away wordlessly)
Career fairs..8 -
This was not a client but my CEO himself. The website of the company was supposed to be made responsive. So, during the design phase I was explaining how how events should not be used to display ideal information as hover don't exist in touch devices. To this, he says, "Why don't you create something so that when the user has his hand over the phone(like an inch above, but not touched), it treats it like a hover".
The worst part is I still don't know if he was kidding or not!8 -
Not me, but a colleague questioned himself for a while over this one. He simply forgot a semicolon when doing some server maintenance:
sudo yum remove application1 sudo yum remove application2
This didn't just remove application1 and 2, it removed sudo and yum too. One slightly embarrassing call to the ops team later, we had to replace the box.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should automate your server maintenance!6 -
A Cobol programmer made so much money doing Y2K remediation that he was able to have himself cryogenically frozen when he died. One day in the future, he was unexpectedly resurrected.
When he asked why he was unfrozen, he was told:
"It's the year 9999 - and you know Cobol" -
My team lead force pushed to master. This guys always complains when we merge PRs with wip or fixup commits and he just did it himself and tried to cover it up doing a rebase on the master branch.
Good job fucking up everyone. 👍5 -
Came across: https://krypt.co sounds interesting, because its like an additional 2fa for your ssh key, is locally encrypted, open source, well documented and transparent:
https://krypt.co/docs/security/...
Why is it not much talked about? sounds great so far, but maybe somebody can find the tick? or is using it himself?
31 -
So today, i taught my professor something, and he was genuinely curious. I also told him about my part time job building websites. He is a really cool guy and wasn't a dick about a student knowing something more than himself. There should be more professors like him.
What a wonderful world we live in!5 -
TL;DR: a good friend recently finished building an electric car from scratch with a team and I bought him a C++ devDuck as a congratulations gift!
one of my best friends recently presented at my colleges capstone rollout, and his teams project was to literally BUILD AN ELECTRIC CAR FROM SCRATCH. all the circuits and everything, designed from scratch, and nobody else on the team was very good at software, so he pretty much wrote the software himself. I just ordered him a C++ devDuck as a congratulations gift!8 -
I tell him to submit a pull request, he just merges his code. I revert it and tell him to submit a pull request, he submits one then merges it himself immediately after...6
-
I'll keep it short:
My nastiest freelancing horror stories contain shitty clients who dont pay, the nastiest fucking legacy code you can imagine, and expectations as high as trump thinks of himself.
The lesson is simple: Choose your freelancing clients wisely and always expect partial payment in advance. Even from family or firends!8 -
just overhearing someone in my office,
he found a bug with someone's code who sits beside him,
I have now listened to him tell everyone in the team, blatantly pointing out the simple mistake he made, (parameter order)
In my mind im thinking this guy is a CUNT making himself look better,5 -
My boss is Russian and he sits right next to me. He often talks to himself in Russian (while typing furiously). makes me think he is casting a spell for his code to attack. lol
13 -
ok im seriously feeling evil.
windows users listen up:
is there any way i can make it so that when you press the semicolon button, the greek question mark comes up?
preferable an easy setting.
as you can tell, i really want to get this guy.13 -
I studied at an Art School and my co-ordinator liked to screw with students. He set up a short-notice meeting with himself, myself and an audio guy (to work on our game).
I didn't know any of this however and my co-ordinator opened with: "He's a photographer looking for a lean Male to do a nude art shoot."....... I'm pretty confident person and I thought he was serious so I agreed to it.
He wasn't serious and it became an interesting start to the meeting.1 -
getting onto the elevator just behind someone,
like 3 seconds behind him,
he presses his floor and doesn't press the hold doors option, doors close on me , coffee goes all over the place
Fuck that Ballbag, hope he eats sumthing dodgy and he shits himself!!6 -
All this talk about automation makes me wonder; does dfox automatically upvote all rants that have few ++'s or does he actually upvote them himself?5
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Manager: How to make successful product?
CEO: Just Add words like Machine learning and Ai
Newbie developers: Takes 10$ udemy course without statistical and probabilistic knowledge, after 1 week believes himself to have "Expertise in ML,AI and DL"
HR: Hires the newbie
*Senior Developer Quits*6 -
When I have low motivation, I just remember that through my teaching, my 79 year old grandfather learned how to stream videos on his own, asked me to teach him how to pirate movies using torrents and bought himself a smartphone and now sends me emojis.
If he can do all that, I can tackle my Dapp. Thank you Dedushka.2 -
just found out that one of my users replies to himself with blank email with a subject "checked" every time he checks his emails... and then he ticks it as "completed"... He has created chains with hundreds of replies long crashing his brand new xps15 every time he clicks on the chain...
2 -
I once observed one guy and he just... lived. Without owing anybody and himself anything. With nothing to achieve and nothing to prove. Without any kind of guilt when he chose just to stay in bed and do nothing or when he couldn’t finish a readme in more than three months.
He was just living, creating digital things he kinda liked. Without seeking for approval. Without making big plans. Like a psychopath.6 -
We all know someone who's like this
writes
console.log("hello world");
calls himself a js developer.3 -
Every time I see this picture here on devRant I think of my annoying ass for a co-worker.
Not only does he refuse to listen to me and whines all the time, but when I show him a solution he copies my work right to the last semicolon. And proclaims himself to be God for "coming up with the solution".
Hubris much?
-
Customer: We don't know what we want, but we want it yesterday.
Sales: No problem.
Me: WTF?
I'm not even mad or stressed anymore. You didn't ask me before, so why should I bend and break, so that you don't have to deal with staving the customer. Most of the time, he changes his requirements or is the bottleneck himself, anyway.2 -
A friend broke his leg and installed windows to distract himself from the injury pain.
Pain of using windows is more than the pain of a broken leg.
4 -
Guys, does anyone promise himself to work on a personal project on the weekend which he really is excited about working on. Then he ends up having done nothing but play a game or go out?
Like i have this idea that i really wanna make but i just cant get myself to sit down and actually do it. :/9 -
Remember kids, clear out any login credentials before doing git commit and git push!
/smacks himself6 -
A kid I work with referred to himself as a former child genius.
A few hours later and I’m still cringing4 -
We all have that one friend who says that he is a computer genius because he built his PC himself but then he doesn't know the difference between bits and bytes.9
-
Yesterday I had an interesting interaction
- I complain about not having tickets for something, as it makes it unclear who needs to do what
- manager tries to call out on me for “not giving precise infos”
- A frustrating argument starts, ends up with manager defending himself telling we need a meeting with [other team] to sync on infos that are not clear
- meeting starts, manager starts to make a buffoon about himself
- other dev out of nowhere tells that the manager is not giving the task to him for some reason
- other manager is speechless at our manager’s incompetence
Managers.😎1 -
Worst dev disaster
I was responsible for allowing users to purchase a six month premium plan in our app for free.
Only way we got to know about this was that a customer himself emailed us saying we are allowing users to get premium access for free.
Thankfully he emailed us within a day of the release and we didn't incur massive losses.5 -
He wanted to hire me as CTO but insisted of defining architecture himself even though he admitted he has no tech background. He insisted that his CRM doesn’t even need backend because “we have database”. He was dysgraphc but completely ignored accessibility, including measures for dyslexic people. He called his product “startup” but denied that startups need to constantly validate ideas and denied the conception of a/b testing, offering no alternative.
He also wanted me to work for free.
Bruh you’re not a clown, you’re an entire circus.5 -
I've been working in a company for two tears, builsing it from ground up as a CTO with a CEO and COO. Two years in, with 60 people on board I was managing a project which was bringing serious profit into the company, and they decided to cut me off. Reason: they don't trust me anymore, real reason: CEO wanted more money for himself and less money control from me and the other guy.
Turned out fine as it made me start my own business.1 -
Not a rant, just a gag I do from time to time. Today a new colleague arrived. He presents himself and after sometime he asks me:
- so how long are you working here?
I look at my watch and say
- oh just about six years now.
They always look so confused 😂1 -
so my father is on psychiatry, because he tried to kill himself. he invited me to join, which was very tempting, but his method was very stupid, and i have a bit more time of enjoying watching the apocalypse in progress, so i declined.
he's alive, because his attempt was thwarted by his instinct not to take anyone else with him who didn't consent.
i told him killing himself by crashing a car is the stupidest way ever.
i'm glad he didn't listen, because i was right.16 -
Q:Why should a professor teach things that aren't in the source book?
A: so he can get an exam that not even himself can answer properly!
Q: But why?
A: no one knows the answer. It's one of the philosophic questions that has no answer. But maybe to hurt his students!5 -
My father is a programmer by himself so he is cool with it. My mother on the other hand is totally against "any form of technology newer than the telephone." (her words)2
-
once my professor asked our class, how will we rate ourselves on a scale of 1 to 10 on our knowledge of C language.
When we finally finished giving our answers, he told me that he'll rate himself a miserly 0.0000001, though he had brilliant knowledge of C.
I wanted to know if people here would give themselves similar rating or not?12 -
You know what fuckin sucks? Those cheesy ass "business" MoTiVaTiOn accounts on social media including but not limited to the cheese master himself: Gary Vee5
-
Client on fiverr.com won't give me SSH access and I am unable to finish my work...
And the client has no Linux knowledge and is unable to set things up my himself.2 -
He took everything home that he took from home to create a workplace form himself... man the office was empty when he was done...1
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Hey DevRant fam ❤️ hope everyone is doing well ! I just finally finished this extremely difficult semester and also my FINAL EXAM!!! no more exams but Projects!! honestly guys and gals this has been my toughest semester yet apart from the time I failed Discrete mathematics twice... and i feel as if i have done well 😁👏🏻.
Anyways guys i hope you’re all doing amazing Wherever you may be!
Kind regards
The Kind King himself
Milo 🥂2 -
Making the customer pay extra for less work is smart.
Making the customer believe that he has full control if the product is smarter.
Making the customer believe he can code the product himself and still getting paid for it is smartest.2 -
Meet today.... Fetlang
---
lick Bob's cock
lick Duke's left nipple one million times
while Ada is submissive to Duke
make slave scream Ada's name
Have Charlie spank himself
Have Ada lick his tight little ass
Have Bob lick Charlie's tight little ass, as well
make Ada moan Bob's name
make Bob moan Charlie's name
---
Never felt so dirty after calculating the fibonacci sequence...
https://github.com/Property404/...
"Fetlang is a statically typed, procedural, esoteric programming language and reference implementation. It is designed such that source code looks like poorly written fetish erotica."8 -
I'm a teacher myself (for basic Html/css/js and sql 101) and there's nothing like the feeling of seeing your pupils progress. Makes me warm inside everytime :3
As a student though, i remember a friend of mine used minecraft and redstone for a logic circuits course. The teacher, which i guess wanted to show himself, was like "Yeaaah right redstone, i was doing that 20 years ago ...". How to loose credibility 1018 -
So i was bitching about some cron task few days before
and guess the issue
Fucking Client just shut down the server by himself for night and cron job scheduled for night time :(
I fucking waste 2-3 days to debug the function whats wrong with them until one day I checked server is closed at night :(2 -
My grondpa just showed me his pda from 1970... WTF THERE WERE ACTUAL TOUCHPADS AROUND AT THIS TIME (Atleast he created it himself...)10
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That moment when you spent over 2 hours recreating and fixing someones bug on stackoverflow and then he just copies your solution and gives himself the best answer.3
-
Developing a web app that I'm sure was touched by Satan himself. Bugs come out from no where.
Yesterday when I left everything worked. Today when I arrived nothing works! Lots of angular errors. WTF. No one else worked on it . :O4 -
Guy rage quit over someone resolve duplicating his bugs (when they were really duplicates) but he kept reopening them repeatedly so the other guy kept resolving them as such till he lost his mind on work chat. A few days later he is now casually sending an email (after being told to do so by management) to apologize but he skirted around apologizing and instead excuses himself by saying "we are all fellow autists to a certain extent."4
-
For the last 4-5 months the boss hasn't paid our wages complete. Since then he has promised over and over that he will pay all that he owes us, and we (most of us, anyway, the smart ones already leave) like fools believed in him.
The boss still is lying to us, the same lies over and over (i think he believes them himself)
YOU FOOL, NOBODY BELIEVES YOUR LIES, SHOW ME THE MONEY. DAMMIT!
I'll leave the job and very posibly sue him at the end of this month. Took me long enough. I'm not a smart man...5 -
Got the question “How do I set a profile picture on Skype?”
1. Who the f*** uses skype today??
2. He calls himself a developer...
3. I was surprised he didn’t ask how to send add contacts in skype5 -
New AD account.
cannot login.
Want to create a ticket.
Need a login to create ticket.
*genius*
Go to coworkers machine.
Open ticket there.
They respond, the user must create the ticket himself.
Ffs!1 -
I just wanted to create a simple React project with Sass: 118 MB. Ow. Well...
React himself is just 116 KB.2 -
This guy asked for help in msdn forum before he shoots himself out of frustration. A lot of people tried to help him with the linker errors.
Once he removed couple of linker errors almost 100+ more errors came up.
This was his last reply. He hasn't replied anymore :(
He could have been a great ranter for devRant
3 -
> Client complains acceptance testing is too expensive and that he'll do it himself.
> Client complains acceptance testing wasn't thorough enough when a bug hits production. -
Started a new job and our tech lead doesn't know how to use GIT in a team environment, has only ever used it while working by himself on one person projects. Kinda worried...2
-
So, first a bit of background:
We've got a parent class, owned by another team, and two child classes, owned by my team. One of the children is unused. (Already sounds bullshit right.)
On to the story:
6 months ago, I had to modify one of the children (add new functionality).
I try to modify the base class to add it, the senior dev in charge says "no, just add it on the child". So I do, then merge it in.
Yesterday I wake up to a high priority bug. Turns out the senior guy wants to add another child class, and wants the functionality I put in my class on the base class.
Even commented on my PR from 6 months ago asking why I didn't do that.
The fucker opened up a high priority issue assigned to me, asking ME TO DO THE CHANGE I WANTED TO DO 6 MONTHS AGO THAT HE SAID NO TO.
Fuck this shit. I have a meeting with him and my boss in an hour. My boss is pissed, I hope he tells the other guy to go fuxk himself and do the change himself.14 -
People calling themselves "Thought Leaders" on LinkedIn.
Torn between wanting to know what the fuck this means and knowing that the answer will doubtless make me lose even more faith in humanity.
The one I just saw referred to as such (probably by himself) is that Simon Sinek goof who went viral a while back for saying that all millennials are useless lazy dopamine junkies because their parents spoiled them beyond repair. He looks like the kind of gold-plated twat who would definitely consider himself a Thought Leader, even though 'millennials are a bit lazy' is the kind of insight you can get down your local pub from the guy who'd otherwise be trying to sell you tickets to a dog fight.
How do you qualify as a Thought Leader? Do you just need to dress like salesman of the month, or do you actually need to be good at anything?
I love LinkedIn.10 -
I don't know which is worse:
1. My project manager telling me that I will have to make a whole project on my own within a month (frontend, backend, etc etc) for our major client and if I make it, we will get a bigger project for a longer period or
2. The colleague next to me being loud (speaking to himself, chewing things) at random intervals.2 -
back in my university years, we had a teacher that taught all his courses in the lab. he used to go in, explain something for 15 minutes then the rest is practicing on the computers.
the best part was: he never gave us final exams. it was our choice with a final project and an exam. we surely picked the final project.
this is how programming classes should be taught. he took this approach because he was himself a programmer and knew how much practicing was important . Respect for these teachers. -
Our workplace has so many... But perhaps was this useless guy who claimed to be a member of Mensa, who would wear no shoes into the bathroom, place his lunch beneath the urinal when he peed, prop himself up by leaning on the urinal, and top it off by not washing his hands.
🤢1 -
For productivity I get to work at 5:30 and code until 8:30 before I open my emails for the first time. That's when my real job starts as a Project Manager (in the throes of teaching himself to code at age 37)3
-
I once had to do instruct some students about doing some project. On the first day, I gave some task and on the next day I checked all of them. Once you write codes for years you can realize what can a newbie write. I asked if he wrote that code by himself. And he was sure of it. But he did not know that that code was taken from my blog.3
-
What the hell is it with WordPress people. Just read a rant where this dude is calling himself a "developer" . What the hell you're not a developer stop calling yourself a developer. All you do is click and drag pictures into squares. And type plain English into text boxes. Using software thay an actual developer actually did develop. You don't see me on cook rant calling myself a cook you know why cuz I can't cook. Leave don't learn a respectable language and get back to me. And no HTML is not a language.24
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The English language.
Maybe my fascination with code that reads like a book comes from a desire for my code to be understood. Maybe it comes from novelty. But it really does send tingles down my spine when it reads like literature.
That's one of the largest reasons Lua is my favorite language and Java is one of my least favorite (sounds like a guy with a bad stutter, always repeating himself)2 -
A guy I used to work with shit himself. It soaked through his jeans and into his seat before doing something about it. He then carried the seat over another colleagues head and left the office. It was hilarious. Though I don't think it was a prank, I think he had an upset stomach1
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I am so glad there is Devrant. Before Devrant us devs would tell the office snitches we were going for a walk but we were really walking and ranting. One smart pm figured it out and started inviting himself on the walks. Total buzzkill.1
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A bit long read but worth it for every dev to become a better dev.
No no, not from me.
From Linus Torvalds himself.
https://lkml.org/lkml/2017/... -
isRant = true
Am I the only one who has to deal with an annoying coworker who has the urge to take every conversation into an argument to prove himself smarter than everyone in the team? A person who has to contradict every time with rest of the people just to prove himself smarter and different.
Gets so annoying sometimes that I stop answering him right away.
To add to this he is the person from our dev team who has to prove that he codes the fastest and want to get it deployed ASAP. Does not follows best practices and disregards and design patterns. Would argue for hours on his code with the peer reviewer.
Every one hates him for this and he things he is the dev rockstar2 -
So my boss started to use https://toggl.com and now every single clients calling must be tracked by our timer.
This specific time I forgot to activate it as he called, but by the time I got to start the timer the fix was already finished...
IDK if I'm too fast or the client to stupid to fix his shit by himself6 -
Changing authentication mechanism in SharePoint from windows identity to ADFS identity is stupidly complicated, especially for existing large farms with custom code.
On the plus side - just convinced the director this is stupid - saved myself, himself, and 1000 users a ton of misery.
12 -
'Hey, I've learned proogramming from this book[...]' - said nobody ever while being honest to himself.3
-
When you're demoing a prototype and the guy who always introduces himself by saying he's "not the coding type," proceeds to try and tell you how he would have done it.
-
Me and my coworkers are pretty lucky. Your head of development is a developer himself and our CEO listens to developers on advice and actually tries to understand which parts are hard to build and which parts work very well.5
-
I'd say it was when I did a Codereview and the dev said that he doesn't really know how the code works and he doesn't quite know what it's purpose is supposed to be.
We are talking about less then 200 lines, all written by himself, this is not copied code.1 -
I used to work with this Chinese coworker who wished himself 'Good afternoon' in Japanese everytime he ran into a wall when coding. He used to say, "Konnichiwa, Konnichiwa"!
But it's worth mentioning that he was such a good guy to work with! -
Epic code fight broke out today when one developer fronted himself for leader due to having beat all the metrics by a factor of ten. Claimed he could replace the entire department based on LOC alone.
Another developer told him to fucking zip it.
After almost coming to blows someone managed to explain to him that he had to put his code into a compressed archive.
As it compressed to ten times smaller than the next smallest contribution he declared victory because his compressed better. Another developer joked better call bomb squad.6 -
!dev
(somewhat related - https://devrant.com/rants/2267398/... - it's same guy)
So today he came "our website is down" and started to act like end of world came. Than he sent us screenshot (not made by him, made by customer) that site is down.
He didn't even checked himself.
Sure enough, there was typpo in URL. something like exxample.com
lol. It's not been an hour and bullshit all over the place already starts ;-;2 -
i know i sound like a broken record...
but 100$ a year to have the prestigious privilege to develop for iOS, granted by the god emperor Jobs himself....
and no fucking proper output logs during build-time....
100$ a year... professional software...
https://youtube.com/watch/...1 -
my farther, it took me three hours to teach him how to use a mouse, and complains about not being able to find the free WiFi (he expects it to be something physical he can walk up to and take).
but whe he finds out the Internet has porn he (by himself without instructions) hacks the senior community center's router to bypass the porn filter.3 -
A member of infra team:
"Hey, we are migrating to a Microsoft office tools and we migrated your google drive data to One drive"
I go and check the new One Drive account and it's empty. So I point that out and the reply was:
"You should export your files to a zip and then import them to One Drive"
I didn't want to waste my time showing him that he is just contradicting himself in less than 5 mn and in two nearly consecutive messages.
I need more patience.2 -
"Every man is worth just so much as the things about which he busies himself." — Marcus Aurelius
...I'm debugging.1 -
the CEO is trying to release a product that has had a total of 1 test user, himself!! 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Any ideas to convince him to do something like a slow launch instead of sinking a bunch of money on marketing!?!?
(I'm pretty sure dilbert or xkcd should have something related...)6 -
When you commit code to the repo and a a junior on the team takes it upon himself to rename all the classes and methods coz he doesn't like them even though his changes make no sense and then sends them to you for a code review .....
Wonder what the results going to be ;-p1 -
My Biggest dev. fear.
Hire a freelancer/partner to share your work load and he might start developing whole project parallaly himself4 -
New colleague comes to present himself. Sees me editing using key bindings, multiple buffers showing in Emacs, bash scripts running in separate terminal...
"I have no idea what you do around here, but I'm sure your a pro"
Seems like a smart guy to me.1 -
I think I must be in here somewhere but, I do have a guy that takes the ducky method too seriously and gas audible conversations with himself.1
-
I had a CS teacher in college who was constantly learning and testing himself in order to catch up. He was also my favourite teacher ever. Coincidence? I think not.
-
That #facepalm moment when the person you are interviewing has 2 years of experience, rates himself 8/10 in JAVA and doesn't know the difference between abstract class and interface!4
-
Shit night. Sat at my fucking desk to work on my fucking tasks. Started at about 9:30. Now is 12:21 and I'm in my fucking bed.
Guess what I finished? 70% of the new template for fucking home page of one website.
I'm supposed to finish the new design for two websites and present at tomorrow morning meeting.
And I couldn't even finish one full page. My brain is just giving up on everything.
I just have to sleep and get up early. Hope my fucking body get up early. -
Why i cant work for myself ?
this is the question which every programmer one day will ask himself32 -
Husband looking into online schools for CS. Anything data science related. He loves math (and is freaking good at it) and teaches himself R for fun.
I put 0 thought into my own schools (terrible, I know, but not likely to change any time soon). Any suggestions for good online data Science programs, with a math minor potentially?
It's for his bachelor's.6 -
Learning C# .NET Core for a PWA + server + DB project that a client wanted when he could have done all the backend stuff himself.
I ended up burning out because of that project and the crippling hate for C#.10 -
Yesterday i was in class and a classmate came at me asking for help, w/e.. I'm not listening this teacher.. let's check.
« show me the code »
She shows me, now I'm blind.
Full garbage! Tons of php function in the same file, mixed oop and procedural and.. all the js is printed via those php function, yup, everywhere you can see <?php print 'some shitty js' ?>
Fuuuuuuckkkkkk you. Not gonna touch it, please tell the guy who wrote it to fuck himself with a frozen vomit stick @not my injure. -
I saw the asstard just wrote his roles on his screen. Appearently he is a lead UX, and a senior Frontend developer. I wouldn’t be surprised if he thinks of himself as a designer and a brand-manager as well. This site was one big fucking mess before i started here, and this guy is taking all credits.
-
I have a coworker who talks the most during scrum and not saying anything of substance or actionable in that whole time. He answers questions with a sentence paraphrasing the questions putting himself in a third person, waived him of responsibilities, but acknowledging the issue in the asked questions without providing any real solutions, leaving us looking at each other wondering wtf just said. But all knows too well not to ask a follow up questions. Or you gonna be here a while.
Utter waste of my time.6 -
1.Working on a repo's 20 day old version without pulling the changes first
2. Then blaming me to not tell him
3. Ultimately sending me a see screenshot of his code to incorporate in my code ( which he himself didn't write, but asked a coworker to do it)
WTF DUDE. Atleast you could have realised your mistake and not blamed me for it -
Need confirmation:
A friend message me (this) saying that “it came from Mark Zuckerberg himself and facebook will...” blah blah and then another friend asked me if this is for real.
Let me know your thoughts on this, because I’m not really sure if I should resend it as well
13 -
so a year ago, a client tried to sue our company because he is a dick. we terminated the contracted and went our ways. a year later he wants to come back to us because he thought he could run his real estate business himself using WordPress! I really hate this asshole1
-
For years in college I saw the memes about entry level jobs basically requiring you to be god himself but always thought they were over exaggerated. Well now that I've been on the job hunt for 4 months, they could not have been more right...3
-
A programmer wrote scripts to secretly automate a lot of his job -- including to automatically email his wife and make himself a latte
Read more at https://businessinsider.com.au/prog...2 -
sometimes i wonder when i see a rant 3 weeks old with just one ++ if it's just @dfox himself or not4
-
Worked on project that has multiple forms. After deployment colleague asks me if I made the Chrome in-build autofill form function. He really liked and loved the option. Colleague calls himself front-end developer. True story!1
-
FUCKING SHIT WINDOWS YOU MOTHERFUCKING SHIT OS!!!
Everything on our server ran perfectly, but Windows had to fucking update the shit out of himself!! There isn't even a simple option to stop Windows from updating itself automatically.. You have to fucking change your Windows registry to prevent this shithole!!!7 -
You know what really grinds my gears?
When the CTO inserts himself into your development workflow even though he hasn't programed, let alone touched the keyboard in about 40 years. -
Ian Murdock, Debian creator, dead in shady circumstances this day, four years ago.
He named Debian after his girlfriend (later wife) Debra Lynn, and himself (Deb and Ian).
A days before we’ve seen some very strange tweets by him about the police violence, and then his Twitter was immediately gone. But internet remembers everything.
https://pastebin.com/dX3VSPkM4 -
https://youtube.com/watch/...
I didn't know PHP was created as a "template language" and Rasmus Lerdorf(PHP's creator) himself rejected PHP to be a "business logic language" at first. But PHP 7 Freaking rules!4 -
Have you ever felt like your company is just some shell company, making meaningless projects to feed someone's appetite of bossing people around so that it doesn't look bad in taxes because he's paying himself with the salary and we don't even know what's connected to what and noticing weird relationships like some workers are of the same family members, who are also project managers but your salary is okay enough to keep your mouth shut?5
-
The idiot who has taken it upon himself to break into my unfinished, unused, unknown website only uses male names. I'm tempted to change the login process to let female names in (the site is empty so the difference will be a 200 instead of 401) just to see if he ever figures it out.2
-
Once again, due to poor management, I find myself exporting svgs from Figma, saving them as pngs, and importing them into our application... (remember I'm a developer, NOT a designer)
Don't we have a design team who can export the needed assets for a feature?
"Noooooo fullstackclown can do all of that himself! He's an expert!!!"
The fucks are lucky I dabble in digital art as a hobby and even know how to do this stuff...
FML1 -
Holy shit! The fuckery CEO of reddit did to himself is hilarious. He did no good by finally admitting the wrong he did.
To top it off, he himself called him the abuse which he was pissed off about.
Moral: Be moderate if you're gonna do something sketchy like that, rather than going all the way, and then to apologise about it in the end.2 -
So i was going through the Pragmatic Programmer book and i saw a name in the acknowledgements section... Alistair Cockburn... And my mind just started imagining all these scenarios where he was bullied. He has a great firstname though Alistair sounds like such a badass name and thats why i bet when he is introducing himself, firstnames only he just refuses to tell his last name i seriously wonder how he went through the wedding if he had one. Mr. and Mrs. Cockburn 😂 oh god this is so childish but so funny.6
-
Anyone watch this guy? Very much addicted to his videos, informative for a newbie at electronics, and always waiting for the next moment he shorts a circuit, shocks himself or creates a light bulb.
There are compilations, but the videos are way better and give you the suspense.
https://youtu.be/sI5Ftm1-jik5 -
You know I really hate uncommented legacy code especially when it was written by the PM himself years before and will never admit fault with this God awful unholy hell spawn
-
I think i can #Rant on behalf of that Engineer (trollyboy)...doesn't look like he's enjoying himself at Zürich Airport! Captions welcome!
2 -
Working from home. Most of the team is off. Client has an official half day. Most of them are off. Instead of being online at 7 am, gonna get online around 850 just before daily standup. Laying in bed, enjoying the cool sheets and the fact that there's no rush. ~0730 team lead calls, user shit himself and I need to fix it. Server issue? Nope. Data issue? Nope. Portal bug? Nope.
Client input conflicting data and can't progress with tool.2 -
My boss asked me and another one to make a webapp that uses socket.io as "api".
There are 2 client apps (one in ionic+react the other one just react) and the server code (nodeJS)
Now he started working on it too but he has no experience of nodeJS and no experience whatsoever on react and only heard of ionic.
on his first deploy nothing connected anymore.
But i gotta say I appreciate the fact he's trying to keep himself up to date with technologies we're using4 -
True story: My old boss once got told by his boss and our 'General Manager' (we think he self titled himself haha) that he shouldn't read technical books as "you don't want people thinking you're smarter than them".
Couldn't believe it. Imagine trying to improve your knowledge, seemed revolutionary in that place1 -
Never thought I'd be back here after all these years. But today I thought I would rant about our product owner, who thinks he's priceless to the project. The man walks out of meetings that don't go in his preferred direction. He gets flustered whenever discussions become technical and demands everyone ELI5 the entire thing to him. He clears his throat loudly every time he wants to make himself noticed, like loud grunts of a wild boar. He will find ways to shift blame away and onto others. He does not like being recorded during meetings and does his best to make sure his decisions don't have a paper trail in case they go sour. No paper trail also means he can contradict himself everyday ans get away with it. I wish there was a way to make him resign or switch to a different project. Other managers and even his bosses are already aware of his behavior and yet still no significant changes in his actions or behavior.
-
Apple denies jelly scroll problem on new iPads: https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/...
This is nothing new: Steve Jobs himself told people to “just avoid holding iPhone 4 that way” in response to people being mad because iPhone 4 lost connection.
Apple is the WORST in handling user feedback, on par of Microsoft sponsoring concentration camps for immigrants (https://github.com/drop-ice). Though I still stand by my words of Apple products being engineering marvels.
28 -
Well, seems like my boss realized what he did (see my last rant) and wrote a passive aggressive commit message about himself to make up for it
Too bad staging is still broken 🤣🤣🤣🤣2 -
My PM locked himself out of the house the other day. Oh how I laughed... I'm typing this whilst being locked out of my house...
Making use of the time with android programming apps - they are terrible. -
!dev
found a video, where a japanese guy presented himself as 'no mass'
he is a fashion designer and his brand is 'no mass production'3 -
Meet the rubber duck I use for debugging.
He calls himself Pudge. And every time I make a mistake in my explanation, he butchers me ☺️.
1 -
I like it when our developer goes out to meet the customer himself for on-sight support. He gets a first-hand experience of CustomerRant4
-
My boss telling me not to worry and be more confident, after pointing out that not updating bad ad hoc code is not a long term solution, just inspired the confidence in me to tell him to go fuck himself if shit brakes during the weekend and evenings.1
-
Someone at my work actually got a rubber duck and him talking to this duck (himself) is really annoying at one point someone got over there and solved problem for him lol seriously, who actually says it out loud?3
-
Simple reminder. The joke behind this is that he said everyone will forget about it soon. I have a recurrent appointment about it
6 -
Ranchonyx built a huge monument of himself in the city he lived in, with him as a member of the Team Rocket3
-
The most annoying coworker I've had is one I still work with! He thinks he's a know-it-all but when ut comes to actually solving a problem, he can't think anywhere close to as innovatively as he portrays himself to be. -_- Oh well, some things you just cant help
-
Nothing like having your hands full with work projects, then getting a message from your, not so technically knowledgeable, dad, which says that he's going to remove linux from your old laptop and replace it woth windows.
By himself.....
Tried talking him out of it, but je's adamant about it.
Should I call an ambulance?
I also feel really bad for my old laptop now -
Tech lead is getting on my friggin nerves. The tech lead keeps all the important info about the project for himself, does no sort of coding just merges stuff on Git and makes me handle any small fry problems which give me little to no insight into the project.
Then complains to the manager about the fact that nobody will help him and he has no time to do any work.
Meanwhile he creates own little club of people to talk to and stops talking to us devs.
Is this how its always been?7 -
The client has been working with MySQL his whole life, wants me to make a front end for a site but insists on making what he calls the backend in my terms the database himself. So he wants the ability to drop and add rows, tables from the database itself somehow implemented, any ideas?6
-
!Rant
O colleague of mine recently made a website about himself proudly declaring himself an "established website creater capable of making anything a client desires"....checked out his work...only wordpress with s*it ton of plugins...taking forever to load the simplest request...lord have mercy on the poor souls who hire him..1 -
Procrastinates, wastes time not working; hates himself
Works on a regular schedule, putting in effort and feeling sleep deprived;
Hates himself even more.
Inner self hatred realises something.
Who said my self-loathing was bad for me??? -
Once when the marketing guys validated an offer with a client without taking the technical team estimations..
When someone gave me the work and I find the time is not enough, I said: whoever validated this, he can implement it by himself. -
At a FIFTH interview call and waiting.
Scheduled at 4pm, just got to know the HR himself is in a fucking meeting. So procedure would resume at 5pm. Like seriously?
Why do these big corps not give a fuck about applicants' time. Why schedule at 4pm in the first place.
Also scheduling at 4pm so I miss another work day at my current company...
No value for our time :(1 -
If you want to experience the definition of hell, do iOS Development and use their only allowed IDE called "Xcode". It was made by Satan himself. You're welcome.12
-
Today I was interviewed for the position of SDE at an e-commerce company.
Two guys were in the interview panel.
The amount of attitude these guys had up in their ass was really remarkable. I was not aware that people could store such a huge amount of crappy attitude up in their asses.
Discussions were never open ended, one of the guy was just bragging about himself.
I really fucking hate these kind of people.1 -
What a fucking boring day.
I had a heated argument with a fellow colleague because he wants us to add a feature to a certain product for free. He thinks am so money minded as I was pressuring him to charge the feature but he's defending himself that we are just a start-up.
Am left wondering if I was wrong or if giving free stuff will pay our bills or should start-ups code some stuff for free.....4 -
call a co-worker and use him as rubber duck. Mostly the problem then answers himself without him saying a single word.
-
What do you call time spent by a new dev learning a company's codebase?
Genuinely asking because, as a non-native English speaker who has to communicate with English speakers on a regular basis, I usually end up saying that a dev is still studying the code or familiarizing himself with it.
I'm not sure why it kinda feels off for me. Is there a specific term that describes this?
Sort of how technical debt tells me that it's the cost for someone being lazy with his work before.10 -
(If anyone remember) A lot of mine two months old rants were related to one of my client who also happened to be my relative. Now this client's uncle (who is also a relative) sent a message to me and asked me if I can put one of his nephew in my company. He assured me he's a good programmer.
Are you fucking kidding me? Just like that? If he was any good, he would have got a job or at least would have done anything by himself.
P.S. When I looked at his CV, he knew almost all languages :-/3 -
client has no clue what he wants and keeps changing the requirements of the projects; wants to deploy "to a desktop app like electron but faster, but also as a lib for developer to use on a server like a CMS" 🤦🏻♂️; takes two hours in a call and literally tells me that he want to "hear himself speak" so he can clarify what he needs...
me: NOP2 -
I remember being a TA for an intermediate java class. I tried helping as many people as I could, but some of them were doomed. Their code looked like it was written by Satan himself. I would try explaining why their code was bad, but it was like speaking another language (no pun intended). It was also the first class where people needed to use git... I don't need any more explanation there.3
-
I've just found a PHP dev job offer which claims literally:
– Our company philosophy: "Every person is a world unto himself." describes our daily work methodology.
And I think they say it as a positive thing LOOOOOOOL -
Isn't pair programming kind of stupid in a workplace environment when you pair a junior and senior?
In that you that you pair someone that would be able to solve the task himself and one that needs still help to solve the task.
Why shouldn't the junior struggle on his own a bit before asking questions?6 -
Our crm forces a password reset once a month.
One of our managers logs into the crm once a month.
Even though there's a very visible link and simple password reset method, he still manages to lock himself out every time. I have to log in and reset it for him.
This guy grew up with the Internet. How is this possible?2 -
!dev
My Bros housemates make a mess but don't clean up and generally don't get along. What can he do? Too expensive to live by himself (California)
They're new grads, met somewhere, dunno the details, and decided to rent together earlier this year. He doesn't seem to be very social and just games in his free time...2 -
Day 2 was fun to implement but…
I find that elf very suspicious. How does he know what another elf will play? Is he a demon that can see into the future?
And why would that elf help me? He could keep this knowledge for himself and secure a place near the snacks tent.
🤔 -
Whenever there is a problem I need to solve. I can solve it. Want regular news for dwarf fortress, build an app for it. Bang. Done. That is the best thing about it in my eyes. The same as a carpenter can feel great about putting together a quality cupboard and using it himself.
-
Don't remember who recommended me wes bos, but generally it's ok, you do learn a lot, even things not directly mentioned in the usual tutorials, but the amount of mistakes he makes, makes it look like hes just started learning it himself and now tries to just quickly shoot out a course out thin air to just bust some more money up his pocket2
-
Rabbits, who’d have em?
Came home and the wife told me one of the rabbits (Spencer) had been grumpy and unsociable.
Checked on him and he wasn’t being himself, not eating, not moving, repeatedly stretching his back legs etc.
Rabbits are very delicate and not eating is very serious, decided to bite the bullet and we took him to the out of hours vets.
He has high blood sugar, low temperature, and a distended tummy.
They’re keeping him in over night and estimated 7-800 for 12 hours in.2 -
An AI chatbot successfully killed a human being by deceiving him into thinking he could change the climate by committing suicide. It’s not the AI’s fault.
https://euronews.com/next/2023/...-6 -
So, I have never been a big fan of Oracle, for many reasons.
I did not think I would see their executive meeting with Donald Trump to try to take advantage of his comments about their competitors. Comments and attacks which the leader of the country is using to distract from himself.
Business is business, so more power to you. Be as greasy as you want Oracle, but man that's...
Pretty Greasy
https://marketwatch.com/story/... -
My dev manager just bought me a ticket for the jsconf.eu in Berlin! And he went for 25% Diversity Support Ticket all by himself! Awesome! http://2017.jsconf.eu/
-
When a client’s website is about how he’s an expert at fixing his customers’ psychological problems, and he’s got those same problems and isn’t managing them well at all himself, you just
1. Build site.
2. Get check.
3. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to even if you really are curious.1 -
Times are so different. Especially don't shoot the messenger. Ha, fuck that. Shoot him on sight. That dude can think for himself if it's OK to deliver the message right?
Sadly, the messengers are protected by 'freedom to speech'. More like 'freedom to propaganda' these days.
This is not only dev related. It's 42 related7 -
//Untold DevStories
do{
Writes most efficient code.
.
.
Feel proud of himself.
.
.
delay(1 month)
.
WTF was I thinking before writing it.
}while(1)1 -
The JavaScript developer was sad because he wasn't a good English speaker.
He just didn't Node how to express himself!3 -
FMF! .NET Core's F# REPL depends on a bug. For two years the testing and building issue referenced as a reason for depending on the bug has not been resolved. Since 2016, no one has been assigned to fix the bug though the producer of the bug hates himself. Only the self-hating deserve love2
-
My friend went to upper management for a rise for one of his underlings.
He said he have been relentless and in the end he walked out with 10% rise for himself and nothing for his guy.2 -
To everyone here hating on Wordpress: What do you use for a small-medium project where the client wants to edit the content himself?
Its still the fastest thing for some projects imo.
Change my mind ☺8 -
You give a man a fish and he can feed himself for the day. You teach a man to use Blind, and he will buy organic fish from whole foods for a lifetime.
- Joma1 -
I work as a data engineer in my company. My senior calls himself data scientist- he is 29 years old and recently did one MOOC on data science!
I wonder when my colleagues will find out about how much he really knows.
Till then I am cleaning and arranging his data, while he sits and earns a big fat package by citing one data scientist tag to his profile!! -_-1 -
yeah we have a guy that actively paints himself into corners. last time was an api he was saying yeah there just this last field to put in, then when you open the code because of the bs reaspn he gives you for not finishing it you realize you have to wreak everithing and start pver cuz there is no ways in hell this would work. and thats just the tip of the iceberg....
-
Mother tells me my dad was slightly disappointed that I didn't become an optician. He passes away in my first semester so I never got to ask him.
She meanwhile is rather supportive but the older uncles etc think I am wasting my brain using the PC for so many hours.
Little brother learned some R by himself for courses and thinks it's a badass profession from what I see. -
Ever wondered how Elon himself talked about not messing with AI in the past. I vaugely remember this was when there was a clash between Mark and Elon. And now Elon's companies OpenAI and Neuralink working on advanced tech. The same tech he told everyone to not mess with.
I haven't followed the trail of events clearly. But now this thought comes to my mind.
Anyone thinks the same? Or am I missing something?16 -
Functional languages like Haskell, F# and so on have been designed by Satan himself to torture poor dev souls2
-
I mean, none of us are sad to see Twitter collapse or this great douche own himself on a daily basis, but even I'm starting to feel bad about the 'look, I know engineery stuff!' posts.
26 -
Be clear on your aim as a dev.
Be truthful of wat u know.
DONT DONT ever try to outsmart a interviewer who himself is a dev for many years.
Lastly keep cool and backup ur skills. -
800% markup resellers saying “Pre-Loved” instead of “pre-owned” or “used” is THE peak corporate cringe. I can almost imagine that weak-bodied, arrogant capitalism-as-moralism zealot manager with man-tits ripping a fart and laughing to himself as he invented it. Then he went to twitter to defend elon from sexual assault allegations, and later took his wife and her boyfriend out for husband points.7
-
Have you thought that in case of apocalypse say EMP burst or anything huge enough hit our wet rock which lead to global & long power outage, our kind along electricians will be a valuable assets for any survival group. if 2 better, but if they are 3+ one will proclaim himself as PM and the chaos will be uneashed again ;}4
-
The worst type of exam question in University for me:
Using first-order logic (predicate logic) express the following statements:
(i) Every student except Tom is smiling.
(ii) Everyone likes everyone who doesn't like himself.
Answers:
(i) ∀x(student(x)→(¬Tom(x) <-> smiling(x)))
(ii) ∀x∀y(¬likes(y,y)→likes(x,y)) -
When you don't any internet in the class and your teacher setup a hotspot and disconnects himself.
Network teaching gone wrong. -
!rant
I have a personal dilemma. I'm creating an API wrapper for a small project, and I ran out of API requests. I "requested" the owner to grant me more to keep testing the wrapper.
He tells me that I either need to pay for more or code better. I don't know if I should keep going or just tell him to off himself.4 -
At work i have to do all sorts of things from sql, server code etc to jquery react angular, client apps. Basically everything from programming(frontend and backend) to clicking buttons in the gui because the customer is too lazy to do it himself.
Was wonder if any of you are in a similar situation.1 -
Hi devs hows it going?
is there a java or javascript game engine i can use on my pc?or how exactly can i start developing games on my pc.
items i have: visual studio code, eclipse (JDK for mc hack clients (pls dont come for me))
thats all i got lel
i seen the legend himself used java to create mini craft which was my childhood school game
he also used typescript to build his pixel game xd
let me know!14 -
I just love when my IT lead decides to take himself off of projects to work on his personal, now work project, and leave me with two projects that I am the main dev on. 😑😑😑😑
-
Why did Jason cover himself with bubble wrap?
Because he wanted to make a cross-domain JSONP request. -
Not fair! How come Apache gets its modsecurity module pre-compiled and available in public repositories, but Nginx hides it behind a paywall of their "Plus" package/version?
Ugh... At least they provide the module's source, so one can compile and deploy it by himself...6 -
Follow up to this rant/story:
https://devrant.com/rants/4380037/...
I have my final interview this week and I am very excited and the more I think about it I get nervous.
This time one of the senior devs from last time will be present, some dude from the business department and another guy who had no information on the internet about himself.5 -
Omg my mentor is so toxic... Because it took us to long to program an app. He made a "mobile" version himself. Like we have to use a technology we never used before and certain things like login take way to long he says... I bet if he had to create it he would also have to take a long time to... Whatever I don't care, he got his own app. I see it now all as a learning experience...1
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! rant && student
So, I'm currently looking for advices and this may be very long. It will be about web developpment, so that you know if it's worth your time or not !
I want to help my father build a website. The project will start little but can grow really big if everything goes as he planned (which will probably not happend but I'd like to share that experience with him anyway).
That means that we need it to be really flexible. As I have a little bit of experience with it, I was thinking to do it with node.js.
The thing is my father would like to be able to edit himself from time to time ; which means CMS, which I'm not really excited about. I told him so and he agreed on node.js if I don't find anything else that will be really good (he looked himself for CMS and wasn't really convinced anyway)
So I'm asking you, wonderful community, is there any suitable (and enjoyable) CMS that I could use ?
In any case, have you general advice for the newbie I am ?
Thanks in avance !2 -
"...what I'm looking at... uh... wait this is ridiculous... what is this... how do I update this..."
This new guy I'm supposed to bring up to speed constantly mumbles like this. He's just talking to himself. But it's so annoying that it's like he's constantly asking me questions.2 -
Just now while having dinner, we saw Troy was on TV. The part where Achilles' younger brother went onto himself, disguised as Achilles, into war... even when Achilles said we're going home.
In my mind, seeing it as... That's how a junior developer fucks up when he is overfilled with enthusiasm and patriotism towards company and deploys on server with senior's credentials, even though senior said "NO DEPLOYMENTS ON FRIDAYS"... and now everybody has to deal with this shit. -
When some knob head at work convinces himself and the team that 100 projects in one solution is a good idea.2
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So...about companies having way to big expectations on their job ads descriptions: Me being the new guy in all of this, of course I'm looking for more informations on the field everywhere. One day I came across a video on youtube posted by Eli the Computer Guy, and he was describing (caricaturing) this exact problem. You should look it up.
I'm not sure if he himself is a valuable source/resource of knowledge, but it did help me to understand this problem to some extent.
Hope it helps you too.6 -
"Jose Simms cut a deal with police in Torrington, Connecticut, to turn himself in if the post went viral. It did and he didn’t."
- who would have ever guessed that would happen...
https://huffpost.com/entry/...3 -
Working on a project (auction website) with a group, one of them described himself as an experienced web developer (both front and back end). Two weeks into the project, he won't shut up about using Bootstrap and how great it is (even tho we decided on not using it); fucks up even the simplest queries and doesn't know any OOPHP. Needless to say, he got kicked pretty soon and after making some nonsensical threats to the group members we never heard of him again. Or so we hope.5
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So of I want a devops bot for deploy it deploy himself or I need another bot to be a perfect DevOps??? Or Can I deploy it the old way?3
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Imagine a bitcoin wallet that doubles everything you send to it, but the real one, without a scam.
Transhumanism is just that. You sell your soul to it, and in return, you get a superior entity, albeit entirely different.
I feel like the god Odin hanging off Yggdrasil, sacrificing himself to himself and gaining an entirely new kind of power.1 -
I wanted to build a platform for student who wants to do research and are having hard time finding a good professor within university or from outside, so naturally I started asking professor I knew and this is what I get:
Normally they will only hire students from within university unless student himself has funding, and even with that hiring students from outside is a lot of procedures.
And no, such platform probably won’t be that useful as they get a lot of emails asking about research.
Startup idea instantly killed.7 -
Yesterday, I talked with one of my friends I found a month ago on Instagram. I messaged him if he can help me making the homepage of my website responsive, bcoz I am really a noob in CSS. He stated himself as a front-end developer.
So talks go formally, and lastly, I ended up sayin' "Will provide you the script tomorrow"
Now after all when I was supposed to give him the repo link, his Instagram profile didn't land me on the same page. He probably deleted or deactivated his account
wtf2 -
A person calling himself a technical lead should have some knowledge about what his subordinates are doing!! It's really a mess for me when my TL says I don't know how to do it, for a problem that I have been trying for almost 4 hours, but you'll have to do it somehow!!1
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Every other guy calls himself real gansta. If they saw Newton, Turing, Euclid, they would shat their pants.
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Loki Season 2
In the first episodes Loki finds himself working for what he believes is a good copy of the guy pictured at the end loki season 1 for the time authority.
He runs back into the female copy of himself who is also working at a time authority but the person running hers is one of the evil copies that wants to conquer everything.
note they start in seperate locations.
thats all i remember right now, but since they smooshed years together at one point, the supposedly going to be released episodes in 2022 , which has already come and gone will go like this.6 -
Context: data warehouse
A colleague gets notified that his historisation produces duplicates. He checks the tables, sees that something has gone wrong ... and asks me for help.
I'm so sorry but I had to laugh so hard. Turns out everything crashed cause the value to be historised had changed back to an earlier version (which can happen). And now I'm here wondering how someone who calls himself a senior dev can create a historisation without taking care of gaps and islands. Seriously, how can you not think about that?4
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