Recipe of cold coffee.
Step 1: Make Coffee
Step 2: Start Coding
Step 3: Forget you made Coffee
Step 4: Drink it Cold

Don't say thank you I understand!

Oh boy, the startup managers are writing a roadmap today. Can't wait.

5 mIlLiOn DaIlY aCtIvE uSeRs By EnD oF Q1! (2022!!!)

1 MiLlIoN dAiLy ReVeNuE bY tOmOrRoW!

zErO bUgS aNd KnOwN iSsUeS iN sYsTeM bY 5Pm ToDaY!

tHoUsAnDs Of NeW cUsToMeRs WiThIn ThE nExT hOuR!

Step 1: Cancel the meeting.

Fucking companies that always look for "senior", "top 1%", "ninjas".

But to give the opportunity for someone to become one of these, God forbid, right?

Fuck you, cunts.

1. Applied to a tech company based in Seattle
2. Interviewed
3. Got rejected because "At the moment, they do not hire international students."

Then, why did you interview me in the first place? :')

Just found a stackoverflow thread that had no answer and 2 comments. Here are the comments:

Person 1: Did you find a solution for this?
Author: Yes, please email me [...@gmail.com].

Bruh, what's wrong with some people???? Writing nothing at all would be better then that

Recipe: "baked developer"

you will need:

- 1 day = 1 story point
- 10SP per sprint
- every team member must deliver all the SPs.

Now for every sprint slap on 20+ hours of mandatory meetings, mix with 2-5 days of ad-hoc tasks, which must be addressed, because they are blocking the release/other teams/prod, and make sure all the devs try not to spill no matter what, and you get a perfectly burned out team.

Brittle/crispy on the outside, mashed/soft on the inside

enjoy!

expect([
row[‘blah’][0][1],
row[‘blah’][1][1],
row[’blah’][2][1],
row[‘blah’][3][1],
row[‘blah’][4][1],
]).to contain_exactly(
a.name(user), # “John doe”
c.name(user), # “John doe”
e.name(user), # “John doe”
b.name(user), # “John doe”
d.name(user), # “John doe”
)

(Note: The comments are mine.)

See the problem? No, not the ugly code (which is actually worse than what i posted here).

It’s using the same ridiculous getter (if you can call it that) that pulls a name out of the passed user object, and then expecting each row to have that name, in order. Not that order matters when they’re all the same.

Upon inspection, all objects created by the spec have the exact same name, so the above test passes (as long as there are 5 rows). It passes, but totally not because it should: those aren’t the objects that are actually in the table. All of the specs — all 22 of them — only check for that shared name on various rows, and no other data. And it’s not like this is the only issue, either.

Fuck me these are bad.

And this guy is a senior dev earning significantly more than me. Jesus what the fuck Christ.

COVID variants should adopt a semantic versioning, rather than using greek alphabetics.
COVID v.19.2.34
COVID V.22.1 Beta (testing in US)
COVID v.22 release 1 (being tested somewhere in London)
COVID v.22 nightly builds (still brewing in China)

During a company wide status meeting where all product managers, architects and directors assemble:

Me: *A product architect leading a team of devs*

Directors: So are there any issues or risks you see in delivering the next build in target time for Client 1?

Me: There are too many changes in feature requirements. First they said we can use a shared NFS for storage. Now they are asking to switch over to SFTP pull mode.. blah blah..

Directors: Oh I see.. well we can support both solutions then.

Me: But the deadlin..

Directors: *ignores what I say* Will be a good marketing point for future.

Me: But there are too many regressions in integra..

Directors: *ignores what I say* We should also meet deadlines. That is the most important thing.

Me: Its not as easy as 1+1=2.. The team needs more time to..

Directors: *ignores what I say* Ok lets move on to the next point. What about Client 2?

Me:

My Co-Workers/Team are the only reason I stay at my job. Lots of shenanigans go down & we all know how to have fun and make light of our shitty work load and rude clients. 😜🤓 (this pic is 1/2 my team)

I discovered a function in our database that converts integers to ordinals by concatenating the number and a suffix:
- ends in 1: add “st”
- ends in 2: add “nd”
- ends in 3: add “rd”
- else: add “th”
Simple! Except I guess nobody considered the 11st, 12nd, and 13rd iteration of this function…

Ah yes, write your own fucking website crawler in PHP and deoptimize so hard that it uses some gigabytes of RAM and takes about 1 hour to crawl the very own website it's running on.
Oh and don't forget to download every single image and video file in order to "crawl" it for extremely valuable text content.
What a genius move! I'm really impressed.

Sorry. I don’t give out free tips.

These are the available packages:

TipsPack Basic (9.99$): 5 tips to increase your productivity 2 fold.
1 ad between every tip.

TipsPack Premium (17.99$): 20 tips + 1 bonus tip for 10x productivity. 2 ads.

One bug fix free when you purchase either pack.

age += 1

1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + “6”

Scrum Master: Let's estimate the task. Chose your estimations individually, then we will reveal at the same time and discuss
- variety of votes, ranging from 1 to 8
Product Owner: I don't agree, this should be a 1 or 2.
Dev Team Lead: Agreed, this is why I chose 2. Let's vote again.
- All votes now are 1s or 2s

Good fucking job 🤨

Day 1 of requesting an equippable clown mask in the devRant avatar builder.

devRant, got a code challenge for you.

Manager calls at 18:00...

Write an algorithm that gives the optimum result!

I'll go first with my O(1) solution:

Don't answer.

I'd be interested to see whoever can beat the big O of my solution!!!!!

#moreclownwellnessthirstythursdays

Okay, this has to be said.

I am sick and tired of YouTube web devs who went to bootcamp, developed software for around 1 year, quit… then tell everybody what it’s like to be a “programmer.”

To top it off they become “developer advocates.”

Stop misleading people with your clickbait!

Don’t know if I should be worried that I received an invite to a 1-on-1 meeting with the company CEO…

Based on a true story:

Me: Woah, I can't believe you wrote a test for such an edge case, you really take TDD seriously

... 1 minute later

Me: Woah, I can't believe this is the only test for the whole project

Writing style of a sane human vs. my new boss

A sane human:
Statement 1 in simple English.

Statement 2 in simple English.
1. Point A
2. Point B
3. Point C

Statement 3 in simple English.

My new boss:
Statement 1 loaded with jargons. Statement 2 more complex, 1) point a, 2) point b, 3) point c. Statement 3 in Latin, Sanskrit, and Unicode.

Everyone his proposing him simpler approaches and tools to use and he is arguing with everyone that his methods are best without any reasonable points.

> 1:1 meeting with a CTO from Fortune 500 (any minute now)
> spilled coffee over the table and both computers

*taking a dog outside, so she doesn’t talk during the meeting*

> some dudes injecting drugs in the corner

My day is a shitty Hollywood movie 🍿

I think my days as a dev are over
shit fuck!!!!
All i know is writing code, schematics, systems recommendations
Was given a tender doc for a project
the doc was in 2 parts "Technical" & "Financial"
I HAVE NEVER DONE A TENDER BEFORE and little did i know a shit load of documents are required
MY BOSS GOT FURIUS SINCE I DIDNT COMPILE ALL DOCS and 1 required doc was expired tried to get it renewed and renewal will take 3 week or 1 month and deadline was in 2 hours time
FUCK!!!!

F U C K M E ! ! ! ! !

>1 year of living and working with a sluggish, overheating and possibly throttling XPS 15.

Finally setting aside 20 minutes to pop the panel off, ripping the fans out and blow out the choking cakes of dust.

It's like new again now. FFS, when will I learn not to postpone things eternally.

Teaching my girlfriend how to code and she’s got to the indexes start at 0 crisis.
Just to make her feel better, anyone else remember their indexes start at 0 crisis? 😅

So far the convo is “why does count start at 1 and index start at 0?!? Developers can’t fucking count”

Whoever designed the Google Play geographical restrictions had never travelled
1. Changing my country locks it for a year
2. I can only have one country
Clearly, people only cross borders once a year and don't need to download apps like the official local public transport route planner.

Project day 1. CTO: everything should be covered by automatic tests.

Project day 30. CTO: listen, we have lot of work in the pipeline now and we need to prioritize. Please don't spend that much time on tests.

Project day 100. CTO: why isn't everything covered by automatic tests?

Python tip: some python functions have **kwarts (key-word) arguments, that means you can construct your parameter dictionary like so:

kwargs = { 'a':1, 'b':2}

And pass those arguments like so:

function(**kwargs)

As a fellow devRant user, what is it you primarily look for in this app ?

0. Some place to rant
1. Dev jokes/memes
2. Observer. devNews.
3. devProjects
4. Here because you don't like being in the presence of people but want to socialise anyway.
5. Finding your partner in life.

Urgh, fucking excel!
Why the fuck can't you handle a few thousand calculations you dumb ass piece of shit.

I am this close to... fuck, it crashed. 🤦‍♂️

I fucking give up.
Time to strap this data to a DB instead.

Apple macbook engineering department hard at work:

1) Some app freezes
2) Then the Touch-bar freezes
3) I hit cmd+alt+esc to force close it
4) Touch bar is frozen so esc won’t work
5) *confused noises*

Manager: How's (insert dumbass task that they assigned literally 1 hour ago) going? 😊

Dev: We have JIRA for a reason, you'll see it will be moved to demo / review when it's ready.

Manager: ...

Dev: ...

Two probable reasons why people don't mind their own business:

1. No mind
2. No business

Dev starter pack:
1) A big ass headphone to listen to music
2) A nice mechanical keyboard to write “hello world”
3) Some cool stickers to fill laptop back
4) A box of tissue to wipe of the tears(after seeing your progress)

The course is 1 page long and has a giant poster that says don’t be an asshole.

Looks like the idiot changed their mind quite too early... This time ama do "1 != 1" cause I don't know what might come next. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

People on devRant: "it took me 1/2/3 hours to fix that bug, omg, what a time waste!!"

Me: *wrestles some bugs for 1/2/3 DAYS*

I'm confused, how is fixing a bug within hours a ranting material...?

taxes. what the actual fuck? I finally graduated and got my first 6 figure job, only to find out the federal government basically takes 1/3 of my pay??? WHAT??? Why are we all okay with this? I feel fucking robbed. I worked so hard to get here, so many sleepless nights, so many all nighters studying, just to get 1/3 of my money stolen from me? what the fuck?????

Rule number 1 in performances debug :

It's always I/O.

If it's not IO, then the code should be REALLY bad.

!rant Crochet Day 1: I have no idea what I’m doing.

age += 1
print("Spent 8400 days on Earth ☺")
print("!em ot yadhtriB yppaH"[::-1])

This was interview in so called startup.

BTW I don't get point in company calling themselves as startup when they are 5-6 years old, just call your self small sized company.

1 - online interview with HR, Normal.

2 - online technical interview - 1 hour of discussion with Lead.

3. On-fucking-site technical interview - ~1 hour of detailed technical discussions.

4. Coding task- submitted successfully

5. Zoom meeting to discuss on coding task - just told it was good and started discussion on their dead project which was unrelated to job position but I've worked with that kind of thing so it was fine.

6. Trial Day Onsite - Gave me to draw a fucking BPMN chart - fuck you motherfuckers - I knew it was waste of time.

Fuck this kind of Hiring process which takes >1.5 month.

> turning the whole codebase into a muddy ball of dirt because the leader didn't like 1 (one) call to an async function on startup

Way to go buddy, you sure show them how it's done.

This whole corporate numbers game is killing me. I know I'm getting paid to do what I'm asked, I know. But the metrics are so one dimensional

You fixed the data of 20 tests? Doesn't count because you didn't code
You implemented a function to reduce recurrent failures in the future? Doesn't count because those already pass with time consuming workarounds
You spent half a day communicating and coordinating across teams to fix an issue? That's 1 test, this other person changed 1 line in 5 files, you're 4 tests behind

Is it common to look at code you wrote 1 to 2 years ago and think "what the hell was i thinking, this mess needs refactoring"?

Daily meeting of 1 hour.
That's the joke.

Hey here we go:)
My first comic series - “DevStory”

A story of two devs aiming at changing the world’s impact about cryptos by their own token project.

Bugs, cheap scammers, money, flying unicorns and a lot of laughs!
(Episode 1)

An hour of developer time: $50

An HDMI to USB-C dongle: $30

Only being issuing each developer 1 dongle and not letting them have an extra under any conditions because that would be "wasteful": The Process

There are some things in life that don't make you homicidal for everything else there's management.

> great exciting project
> you have 1 to 2 weeks or we lose 200 million dollars

Bruh

Yes, project is due in 7 days organize 1 hour project catch up meeting 2 times a day. Great.

I just earned my first experience with a "MacBook Pro"..
1. Started in safe mode (reboot solved that)
2. Safari crashed..

I see what you mean with innovation.. NOT!

FUCK IT

After YEARS of research, I couldn't find a single working load testing tool

So this weekend I created my own. With blackjack and hookers.

It's limited to my app, so not reusable, but wow in 1 weekend I got more data and found more infra problems than in the past 3 years.

I promised myself I wouldnt program or study after midnight.

And here I am, making flash cards for git like a total dork, and it's almost 1 am.

Modern English is the JavaScript of natural languages:
1. Abundant, very popular
2. Influenced by god knows how many foreign concepts, historically, especially the modern / USA variant
3. The most popular second language
4. A failed attempt to replace it (and others) with more efficient Esperanto, which is a Dart of natural languages then

Ask yourself as you plan the meeting:

1. Is an email a better solution to this?

If the answer is yes, plz just send the fucking email. Else, try and find a way to make it an email instead. If all else fails then yeah go ahead and have your stupid meeting.

My girl friend was complaining that I care more about programming than her.
I told her,

"Trust me baby, in the array of my interests you are [1]."

She was satisfied.

1. Youtube to mp3
2. Paste link
3. "YTMp3_best_song.apk has finished downloading"

How do you pronounce SQL?

1 s q l
2 sequel
3 squirrel

Do you think refactoring code adds value?

Pick one:

1. Hard No (Only refactor when there is a dollar value associated with it, i.e new feature depends on it).
2. Somewhat Yes (Futureproof your code, anticipate easiness to build feature requested in future).
3. Yes (Developer happiness, retention and for point 2)

When I write “grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fill, minmax(max(15rem, (100% - (var(--columns) - 1) * 1rem) / var(--columns)), 1fr));” in my coworker’s code and it fixes the CSS grid

that feeling when you reuse a compoinent you wrote 1 year ago and all bizzare magic still applies and everything just works as expected.

Markdown. It is now used by MDN Web Docs and supported by Google Docs. End users will slowly pick up. Then even more (proprietary) flavors of markdown and their accompanying JS-frameworks will follow. All with good intentions, but it can only to end in a big mess and confusion like USB or USB 3.2 Gen 1.

1.
Accuracy 0.90 achieved so easily, makes me wonder if I've done something wrong. Lol.

2.
My neural net models are the only things in my life doing well. I think I chose the right career. Lol.

3.
Rerunning experiments is not fun. But getting better results is really... Ego stroking.

I'm truly surprised how well Linux is coping with my 32GB RAM dev laptop :)

Currently open and actively used:
1. 2x Chrome windows (70-100 tabs total)
2. 5x IntelliJ Idea projects
3. 3x AndroidStudio projects
4. 2x different grade daemons

Still snappy, still quick af!

I wonder how windows would handle that. From my xp 2 IDEs already were a struggle

Sooo electrician charging $750 on the low end to drill a hole and run a cable. Total time: 1 hour.

Tell me engineers aren't massively underpaid.

The client: "I'm trying to export as HTML a few data we collected in 1 month with your software, why does it take so much???"

The length of the generated HTML file for the "few data":

I swear my brain has 2 sides:
1: c or c++ would be great for this project
2: lol c++ hard so nodejs
1: but c++ would be so much faster and c-
2: NODEJS

There are 2 types of bosses:

Type 1: Who think you are avoiding work
Type 2: Who are not your bosses

Bugfix: 1 line of code

Apply bugfix within tests: 60 lines of code

yet here people are fucking driving nonstop even though our fucking gas prices are through the roof.....

just giving alllllllll our goddamn money away.

also i think this is an awesome project.

far better than the million and 1 stupid tasking boards like monday.com heh

age+=1;

IT CAN'T BE THAT HARD

1) A CONTROLLER RETURNS HTTP RESPONSES, computed using data received from
2) A SERVICE\MANAGER\YOURMOTHER, which fetches data from a DB\external service\whatever

LITERALLY 2 FUCKING STEPS. I'LL TAKE THAT "SENIOR" IN YOUR TITLE AND CHISEL IT ON YOUR FOREHEAD SO YOU'LL REMEMBER WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WHEN YOU COMMIT THIS FUCKING GARBAGE

I think the sleep deprived me is finally cracking under the weight of incompetent assholes.

We just launched a major project in some weird cocktail of Agile slapped with MVP and release to the wild in a waterfall, but it was premature, premature in the sense QA hasn't even finished their side of things, but because some fuck with with "manager" in their title decided they have burnt through the budget with incompetence and scrapped an entire element of the project and outsourced just so they could make a shittier version that doesn't even fucking work.

How hard do you want to fail before you will start listening to the people that now have to work around the fucking clock to clean up this horse shit of a mess.

I'm literally arguing over field mapping with multiple 3rd parties, when the fucking requirements state WTF this is suppose to look like. All because they didn't validate or test their own shit.

Why is EVERY FUCKING cock head in this industry a waste of space and cash! Is it really to much to ask for 1 fucking project to fucking go live that actually fucking works where I don't need to work 2 weeks straight (including weekends) after going live just to be sure that what shit does hit the fan isn't going to create a SEV 1 issue...

Sorry, I'm pissed at the incompetence of others I need to deal with on a daily basis. It's not like this field is insanely hard. A little attention to detail and self validation, verification goes a long way. But clearly that's a rarity.

Once this shit is stable and actually works, I'll be pulling out the mop to clean up half this shit just so it actually works.

Oof, I'm getting to old for this bullshit.

Around a decade ago, I was fiddling with ajax in jQuery. This piece of code had me stumped for around 2 days, why? Because success is written with 1 final S in my native language...

$.ajax({
'succes' : function(data) { },
});

Please just let me cancel my 1-year subscription for the end of that one year NOW without only giving me an option to cancel everything right now and still pay 54 € fee, that's not only silly, it's what makes customers shout FUCK YOU Adobe! Long gone the good old times, who needs your outdated stuff in 2022 anyway?

!Rant

.net 6 + c# 10 is a blast to work with !

I double dare you to create hello world with less lines :) (It's actually 1 line in .net 6)

Last sprint is a mess.

Working on three products that are related one with another a little bit.

1. Bug reports are coming in;
2. We fix it and give for QA to test;
3. QA starts testing and it doesn’t work;
4. Because another team updated something in product A and product B depends on it.

Repeat for straight 14 days

OK, end of massive fucking 1 year long Dunning-Kruger wave. Time to learn C and algorithms. Looks like I'm Learning the curriculum in reverse order but nothing too bad.

1 - Stop working from home and start my own office
2 - Get more clients as a consultant/software house
4 - Launch SASS products overseas to get more 5x income
5 - 6 travel at least 3 times to other states

Things that motivate me.
3. Money
2. The chance to make the world a better place
1. The desire to get a Penguin pet for my DevRants profile.

My new routine after getting Elden RIng has been:

1. Get home and work out.
2. Drink protein shake
3. Take a shower, clean up and play with me pp
4. Get out and play elden ring until my wife unglues me from the controller.

And i fucking love it. Beast game in my opinion. FS really hit a home run with this mfker.

atomic.AddUint64(&me.age, 1)

Part 1 of (Pawlyn Pet App)

Fun fact from the #pawlynpetapp

I am working on a personal project for 4 years now and after year 1 I learned something:

Write your code as if every other developer is stupid.

Because you are that developer in a year.

Why, for the love of all that is good, does anyone still code for absolute placements in css?!

I've spent 90%+ of my time lately making some changes, which is about 20x harder than it needed to be because this app (written in the last 1-3 years) has all of the styling set explicitly. How does anyone justify that?

Your profile is in consideration.

Week-1

HR: We'll let you know.

Week-2

HR: You're one of the top 3 under consideration.

Week-3

**HR won't answer/reply to text/emails

Week-4

I accepted the truth.

Corporate world: Welcome to the employee life!

This was my first ever interview, referred by a guy I met on LinkedIn.

How did you spend your weekend?

- 1 day wasted on trying to configure a project

- 1 day spent on formatting documentation ( including changelogs & mailing archives, project started in 1987? The repo still has files that were last updated 26 years ago )

Top 3 misnomers:
3. Koala bears — they're not bears.
2. Guinea pigs — they're not from Guinea, and they're not pigs.
1. OpenAI —

A new mathematical constant was discovered recently: Bruce's constant

I took some code from the paper and adapted it in python.

def bruce(n):
J = log(n, 1.333333333333333) / log(n, 2)
K = log(n, 1.333333333333333) / log(n, 3)
return ((J+K)-e)+1

gives e everytime for ((J+K)-bruce)+1, regardless of the value of n.

bruce can always be aproximated with the decimal 4.5, telling you how close n can be used to aproximate e (usually to two digits).

Bruce's constant is equal to 4.5099806905005

It is named after that famous mathematician, bruce lee.

You'll start with four limbs and end up with two in a wheelchair!

Things I do in my dreams:
1. Solve bugs
2. Play chess( I literally remember all the positions and have the board mapped out visually in my mind, something I cannot even do in real life )

Don't forget, docker desktop will require paid licenses after 31/1/22

Docker Desktop remains free for small businesses (fewer than 250 employees AND less than $10 million in annual revenue), personal use, education, and non-commercial open source projects.

Just a friendly reminder to fuck docker and migrate to a better solution.

closedAt: 1; DROP TABLE `users`; --

You work like a dog during 2 weeks of sprint, to hear from your P.O on the end that you did not delivered anything. Because he found 1 bug.

Courses I’ll be doing this semester:
Systems Programming
Discrete Mathematics
Net Centric Computing
Software Engineering
Dynamic Web Development 1

I’m excited, this is my 2/3 year as a computer science student.

1.
Never programmed something useful because i have no ideas...

2.
Never used comments in my projects

How to mess with Github Copilot:
1. create open source repo with MIT license
2. create generic functions that solve specific problems
3. put violent, racist, sexist, phobic, political, etc phrases in the code
4. get other people to fork the repo and make their own versions
5. watch as people get upset over copilot being evil and putting shit into their code

sr: XML is difficult format parse PDF instead.

me: (-_-)ゞ゛

checks code...

foo.fooBar = element
.match("<XMLELement>(.*)</XMLElement>")[1]
?.trim();

me: (☉_☉)

1. Fix climate change and the environment in general
2. End corporate coercion and social inequality
3. Cure all mental illnesses

Is that too much to ask for?

Let’s rant… Web 3.0

3
2
1
…..
Opinions fire away!…

Hours spent engineering and writing software (having fun) today: 1

Hours spent CTCing (Chief Technology Clowning) today: 7

☠️

I was 1 hour into an 8 hour data warehouse build on my VM, when Windows popped up with a dialogue informing me that it would initiate Shut Down in 10 minutes. No button to Cancel or Delay, just “Okay”.

To Microsoft, I offer a hardy Dickensian “GOOD AFTERNOON, SIR!”

📚What book would you recommend to software developers and why? 1 book per reply so people can ++ them.

1. Linux. Mint, to be precise.
2. prolly would be bash
3. rest of the GNU toolset
4. curl

I'm lucky enough to be able to work with an extremely competent yet down-to-earth and generous senior engineer that it's a pita to write his review abt "area in which he can improve" - the dude already wrote 1/2 the codebase to keep the team running.

float integral = 0;
float dx=float.minValue;
for (float x = a; x<=b; x+=dx) {
integral+=f(x)*dx;
}

A classmate just literally wrote this and he believed it was the proper way to do it.
I asked him to integrate f(x)=1 on 0<x<1.

Why do game studios force social/multiplayer in single player games?
Single player sandbox? How about we make it a multiplayer co-op?
Just fine 1 on 1 brawl? Hey how about you find a team and tag team? No? Too bad fuck you, no points to you for a whole fucking season.

Ugh.

Here I will rank things in order of pleasure/relief

1. Sleep
2. Sex
3. Negative pregnancy test (if ur like me who’s not ready for a child)
4. Code runs first time without bugs
5. Success

Hey, all you shitty devs who give my Udemy courses 1 or 2 stars with no comment or feedback

FUCK YOU!!!!

most memorable bug I fixed

Line 1:
- throw new Error(‘test’)
+ // throw new Error(‘test’)

yes, this was committed code in production

Person 1 to me: Website C needs this update.

Me: I don’t maintain that site. I only maintain websites A and B. I don’t know who does maintenance for your site.

Person 2 to me: Website D needs this update.

Me: I only maintain websites A and B.

Person 3 to me: Website E needs this update.

Aaaahhhhh 😫😡

Question - is this meaningful or is this retarded?

if

2*3 = 6
2*2 = 4
2*1 = 2
2*0 = 0
2*-1 = -2

then why doesnt this work?

6/3 = 2
6/2 = 3
6/1 = 6
6/0 = 0
6/-1 = -6

if n/0 is forbidden and 1/n returns the inverse of n, why shouldn't zero be its own inverse?

If we're talking "0" as in an infinitely precise definition of zero, then 1/n (where n is arbitrarily close to 0), then the result is an arbitrarily large answer, close to infinite, because any floating point number beneath zero (like an infinitely precise approximation of zero) when inverted, produces a number equal to or greater than 1.

If the multiplicative identity, 1, covers the entire set of integers, then why shouldn't division by zero be the inverse of the multiplicative identity, excluding the entire set? It ONLY returns 0, while anything n*1 ONLY returns n.
This puts even the multiplicative identity in the set covered by its inverse.

Ergo, division by zero produces either 0 or infinity. When theres an infinity in an formula, it sometimes indicates theres been
some misunderstanding or the system isn't fully understood. The simpler approach here would be to say therefore the answer is
not infinity, but zero. Now 'simpler' doesn't always mean "correct", only more elegant.

But if we represent the result of a division as BOTH an integer and mantissa
component, e.x

1.234567 or 0.1234567,

i.e. a float, we can say the integer component is the quotient, and the mantissa
is the remainder.

Logically it makes sense then that division by zero is equivalent to taking the numerator, and leaving it "undistributed".
I.e. shunting it to the remainder, and leaving the quotient as zero.

If we treat this as equivalent of an inversion, we can effectively represent the quotient from denominators of n/0 as 1/n

Meaning even 1/0 has a representation, it just happens to be 0.000...

Therefore

(n * (n/0)) = 1

the multiplicative identity

because

(n* (n/0)) == (n * ( 1/n ))

People who math. Is this a yea or nay in your book?

checkout 'Pantheon' anime series

halfway through episode 1.

cool computer related things, tracking chat messages, lots of computers, tech things, etc. chill vibe.

so far so good.

Things i have changed during this quarantine :

1. Switched to yarn from npm
2. Started using vim as default code editor.
4. added Ubuntu Subsystem
3. Picked Firefox .ditched chrome.

Do you have any new changes?

What I hate the most about my job?
Wrongly estimate the time required to do things…

Sometimes is good, I think it will take 3 days and I'm done in 1, but other times it's not!
e.g. today I estimated an easy implementation would took 5 minutes and it took 5 hours instead… fml

Somehow they felt like the first day of a month isn't always n°1 (and last day might be smaller than 10)

Multi-rant incoming!

1.
Stereotyping.

When did that shit become the norm?

2.
I'm lost in ROS smach. Does anyone do multi-threading in ROS services, or should I flip a table on smach? 😒

Currently at my work they are making everyone assist to the office at least 1 day of the week, some people live in other cities, there is even one coworker that has to take a flight once a month. We don't even do anything different on the office, same work, nobody likes to come.

1. Update some packages
2. Linux machine stops working soon after
3. Panic
4. Go get windows machine to help me troubleshoot the issue
5. Starts windows update on startup
6. Panic some more

- hanging my brain on a nail and drying it watching Netflix

- stroll/hike in nature (park, forest, by the river, etc.). At least 1 hour long

- warm seasons: riding around the city on my e-scooter at max speeds (works amazingly well!)

- warm seasons: gardening

We are not interested in your skills right now, but is it ok if we keep your details to maybe contact you in the future?

8/9 never hear ever from then again.

1/9 so i wasn’t good enough for you back then, and now that i have a job i am? Go f* yourself!

Hey, guys, little help here I am about to graduate and I want a job as Linux support engineer or junior sysadmin but apparently, the job experience required for these jobs is 1-2 years. Any suggestions how should I proceed with this because my other option will be to opt for software developer then.
Thanks in advance.

1. Work more on AltRant
2. Start (and finish!) a C-compatible original programming language transpiler with my own syntax and everything (I might talk about it in my next rant)
3. Somehow survive college (I am dying there someone save me from this torment)

i don't wanna say it, but I'm going to say it

1, 2...

3 

FUCK RUST.

Took me 30 minutes to prototype this shit in concise, safe and idiomatic Bash.

Took me 4 hours to rewrite it in idiomatic Rust. Did it work just as well? BIG FUCKING NO.

Rewriting it in a crazy-girlfriend-like annoyingly strict nominal Typescript, took me 1 hour.

IT WAS fucking  DELICIOUS doing it.

Did it work just as well, BIG FUCKING YES!

Fuck you Rust. F U C K YOU

--- still love you tho

Once upon a time i have seen a block of code in a while (2 > 1) ... it was in C (or so i remember), but still...

Why the fuck is every tech lead and manager obsessed with the idea of breaking down tasks?
It's true some tasks can be broken down into smaller ones. But there are situations where a task needs to be done by 1 person in X days. Breaking it down into 2-3 tasks so that "they can be done in parallel" actually requires more efforts among devs, introducing unnecessary complexity and more risks.
9 women cannot deliver a baby in 1 months ffs. I guess these people never learn.

Where to start...
1) them initially expecting us to do 15+ custom websites at once while also doing the Project Management work (including all client communication) for all projects, for $33k a year....
2) Having to pull teeth to get a feeble raise
3) Rude clients

Tip: if you are doing a semi complex or complex query in Django and you have doubts print the SQL statement and analyze it. i.e print(queryset.query)

Just reduced a query to 1 join instead of two by just passing a list of int's instead of a list of objects.

!rant

Just completed Monkey Island 1 and 2 again, 30+ years after I last played them.

1. What an awesome blast from the past
2. I am getting old.......
3. Can't wait for Monkey Island 3 (the real third)

Got designs on Wednesday afternoon. Final changes on Thursday and they expected me to work all weekend because they were lats for designs I asked 1 month ago for QA and testing. Not my fucking problem.
And not working on a weekend.

And today got told that components were missing and they needed animations. No fucking duh

It's sad how easy it is to fool people by switching between absolute and relative values.

3 million people did this, 3 million people own that, 3 million people agree on those things, it all seems significant - but 1% of US population sounds completely marginal and irrelevant...

Does anyone every get JOB from Linkedin ??

I am continuously applying from last 1-2 month and I just got.. Thanks for your interest but we are not moving with your application. No Matter if it is basic skill level Job or higher one? I wonder if I am the only one facing this

Until about two weeks ago I thought serverless functions looked like this:

api.example.com/Cart.addToCart('product-1234', 1)

Turns out they're just normal API endpoints

So in the news

1. My made got me doing so much pushups my whole body hurts
2. I use arch btw

(no kidding, just installed it. It's glorious)

1. Keep my job
2. Keep my side job
3. Revive blogging at least 1 post a month
4. Keep focus on what’s important and what are priorities
5. Finish my notes / diary application cause my text files / html pages are now taking up to much space and using cat/grep to search trough them is painful ( it can also help with point 3 )
6. Maybe just maybe start writing prototype of table top rpg game scenario, I have a concept in my mind for a long time but it’s also connected to point 5 and 7 and 8
7. Spend twice more time to practice drawing than in this year
8. Read / listen to more than 1 book a month
I think that’s it from dev stuff

polymorphic relationships are fucking stupid. it's a great way to make your shit more complex and less maintainable for no benefit other than having 1 less table (which also makes queries slower since they can't be optimized correctly).

I need to decide about my new job:
+ 20% more salary
+ better job/role
+ 1 or 2 days in the office by average per week
- no more 100% remote

Accept or no? I have been working from home for 3 years

It feels so good to be well rested and wake up between 1 and 5 am to be productive while most people in your country are sleeping while inhaling the cool night breeze from outside whilst staring at your monitor fantasizing how this side project will make you rich one day.

There's something super broken about the interview process in our industry. I spent 30 minutes chatting with a hr recruiter. 2 hours on a coding screen. 1 hour for a technical interview. 1 hour talking with the head of engineering. But then they decided to pass on me. Well if things went well then, then I spend an entire fucking day on an onsite.

Wow. Since when did the industry get so bloated until we have to do so much to get a job? Is signal really that unclear so candidates have to jump through hoop after hoop?

BS.

1. What paid software do you have installed in your PC [that you are actually paying for]?

2. What paid cracked software do you have installed in your PC [that you should be paying for, but aren't]?

And what are the prices?

Mah noob wannabe language designer side here again...

...Idea: Automatic/implicit interfaces.

1. do you know a language that has (something like) this?

2. good idea or a bad idea? why?

3. thanks :)

Heroku/Render

Deploy 2 apps
app #1 sends request to app #2 every minute
app #2 sends request to app #1 every minute
they never sleep
profit?

boss: someone fix these it's not working *3 problems highlighted on screenshot*

problem 1: something went wrong when updating the data, i fixed it in a minute
problem 2: not our problem, send an email
problem 3: wait isn't this the task *boss* handles?

How fucked up is fucked up - Part 1.

What's your most frustrating moment for developing software from scratch in a start up company?

Please save me from immortal 1 notice

Started my Monday morning by dm'ing all recruiters that are dragging their feet (for 1-2 weeks) to expedite their recruitment proccesses because I "received" an offer to which I have to respond by end of the week.

Let the chips fall where they may.

Anybody else got this weird little glitch?

Steps to reproduce:
1. Scroll down until the header darkens
2. Hover over any of the header options
3. Scroll up until the header becomes transparent but not fully

Notes:
- Can't use a screenshotting tool, the refresh fixes the glitch
- Can't select the element in devtools, glitch disappears

Every single linux tutoriel ever :

Do theses steps :

Ste p 1:
Ste p 2:
Step 3 :

Reboot your system.

System doesn't boot anymore

AT THE FUCKING END in SMALL TEXT : "Oh you can't follow these instruction if you are applying changes to system disk. here is the right wasy : <link>"

Stupid linux communty. Warning ashould be AT THE FUCKING begining.

Me at 9:00 AM: wide awake 🔥
Me at 10:00 AM: after spending 1 hour on trying to find out why storage space is low on some of our production servers: ready to fall asleep any second 😴

out of curiosity, how many of you know how to read this:

(1(0+1)*)*0

WORDPRESSS DEVELOPERS:

What’s your #1 tip for getting started in this role? Useful training site or video? What’s best to focus on first? Hooks? I need all the juicy deets! 🙌🏻

heres something interesting:
The golden ratio is 1.618...

If you're not familiar with it, doing 1/goldenratio
the result is 0.618...
It gives you back the float component exactly.

Discovered that it is actually part of a series.

First of all:
2-(((5-sqrt(5))/2)-1) =
1.618033988749895 -> thats our golden ratio

In other words:
(2%gold) =
0.381966011250106

While:
((5-sqrt(5))/2) =
1.381966011250105

Ok, now we're getting somewhere. We can turn these into variables

First of all, lets see if we can get the golden ratio back out:
2-(((5-sqrt(5))/2)-1) = 1.618033988749895

Okay good.

The formula looks something like
j-(((i-sqrt(i))/2)-1)

Where j = (i*2)+1
That means we can easily figure out what j we need from our i value. (i-1)/2 = j

We run it back far enough we get
1-(((3-sqrt(3))/2)-1) =
1.3660254037844386

Thats the golden ratios little brother. Doesn't look anything like it, but it is part of the series.
And I found a boat load of research documents scattered *all* over the net, where this number and others in the series inexplicably crop up in power series, in chemistry, and elsewhere. Just looks like random floats if you don't know better.

We can actually go lower in the series:
0.5-(((2-sqrt(2))/2)-1)
1.2071067811865475

At the lowest positive value for j, we get
0-(((1-sqrt(1))/2)-1) = 1

It's kinda elegant.

I even wrote a little script to do the conversions:
def gr(k):
....i = k
....j = (i-1)/2
....return j-(((i-sqrt(abs(i)))/2)-1)

The dots are so devrant doesn't break pythons formatting.

1. Go to stackoverflow's homepage
2. Read some of the fine selection of questions that are asked
3. WTF?????

Poll: how do you manage Git?
A) CLI
B) GUI

My answer: A
Tally: A:1 B:0

Go to meeting
About 1 hour and a half
“Yeah we really need that thing you’re developing, the faster we can release it the better“

Feel utterly deflated today. Working with an API that gives no feedback what so ever. Going around in circles and making little progress. What’s worse is we quoted 1 days work.

With all my experience I should be better!

"Your code is so WET gzip can compress it below .1%"

With Atom being discontinued I guess I have to start looking for a new IDE.

Visual Studio Code seems to be #1 choice.

I don't get why.

1. Search
It pops up in the small side bar. Can't see which of the findings I am actually interested in.

2. Open file in Solution Explorer
Found the shortcut to open SE after my failed search. Trying to navigate files with keyboard. Enter does not open the file. Neither does CMD+Enter, Option+Enter or Shift+Enter, but CTRL+Enter does! In a new tab which only covers *half* of the window! Wtf.

Parental Programming: noun 1. Between chaning diapers and preparing milk bottles you contemplate about the code you are going to write. So in the 5 min you get to do it you can punch it out almost perfectly before you have to clean vomit from a carpet.

Top 5 worst illnesses, from “really really bad” to “hell on earth”:
5. Bubonic plague
4. Leukaemia
3. Multiple sclerosis
2. Dementia
1. Schizophrenia

to slice a string in swift in 2022:

```
let anotherIndex = str.index(str.endIndex, offsetBy: -1)
let newStr = str[...anotherIndex]
```

Wow, thanks apple

I thought I found a way to compute PI, but I actually just found a super shitty way to print a variable..

const precision = 1000000

// convert degree to radians
function rad(degree){
return degree * (Math.PI/180);
}
function calculatePI(){
// [x, y]
// take first point on start of unic circle
const point1 = [Math.cos(0) , Math.sin(0)];
// take second point at 0.001 degree
const point2 = [Math.cos(rad(1/precision)), Math.sin(rad(1/precision))];

// Estimate 0.001 degree of circle
const dist = Math.sqrt((point2[0] - point1[0] ) ** 2 + (point2[1] - point1[1]) ** 2);
// Calculate full circle
const perimeter = dist * precision * 180;
return perimeter;
}
console.log(calculatePI());

Please share your thoughts on Dependabot security alerts on Github, more specifically for NPM packages in package-lock.json.

In 99% of cases I've found them useless as:
- package-lock.json is in the repo, but not in the NPM package (=no value to users)
- most of the updates relate to devDependencies (=no value to users)
- it clutters the git history (and changelog if it is auto-generated) with a batch of patch updates (updated depx to .1, .2, .3) while the only important thing in the next release notes is the delta (updated depx from .1 to .3) (=no value to users)

"f(n) is O(g(n)) if c and n0 f(n) <= cg(n) for all n > n0".

I have a couple of questions related to this equation.
1: why we use this equation?
2: which thing cg(n) is represented for?
3: what is the real-life example of this?

Why would she contact me for a job that needs ASAP attention and not show up after I gave her my salary expectation, I bet she is expecting a $1-$2 salary expectation from me, crazy recruiters I wonder if there's a university for that shit,

Hi guys, another recruiter shit!!!!

Unclogging a workflow that stretches > dozen porjects, from building to analysis of build (static / lint check etc.)… Deployment.

It's frustrating.

Touching one thing and everything falls apart.

Thus small changes, fixing the rest of workflow, testing ...

Repeat .

Going now since 1 1/2 weeks. Possibly another or two weeks more.

It is soooooooo boring tedious annoyingly frustrating slowmotion shit

-.-

are you able to give 1/+ hour to any hobby project/self learning (technical, that could help you in infuture switch) ? if yes, HOW??

I want to create this website , but i keep on delaying that. i just have a faint idea of how the assoc technologies would be used , but putting even 1 hour aside becomes difficult once i come back from the gym in the evening. plus the effort to open laptop, refocus self and do something only to close laptop after an hour feels very less rewarding. I can't achieve anything in 1 hour, i need a continuous slot of 6+ hours to achieve something and plan for the next day.

do share any better mind makeup

In my university use the following tool for learning programming:

1. Pseint
2. Dosbox
3. Borland Turbo C

The teacher make different assignment:

1. Make a window
2. Triangulation Project
3. Project XOR and NO XOR
4. Make a bank

1. Having a bsc degree is not enough
2. The new standard is master degree
3. What's next a phd degree as the new standard?
4. Then what? I have to be a millionaire first so i can be hired to work a job?

Typescript is a PIECE OF SHIT that adds 3 problems for every 1 it solves! Messing with so much shit from its linter and builder just so some OOP fools can code JS like *TAB* *TAB* *TAB* again!

Useless language feature #1: specify kind in explicit expression type annotations that you insert to guide the type inference engine.

How did I work on this for 6 months without realizing that the kind of a value's type is always the kind of types because that's literally what the kind of types means?

Types of fear:
1. Gross-out: you come back home and get attacked by an army of centipedes.
2. Horror: you come back home and get attacked by an alligator.
3. Terror: you come back home and realize that every single object was replaced by an exact copy.

I had 2 bugs 🐛
I fixed 1 of the bugs 🐛
Now I have 3

How do you deal with stressful situation as a developer
1. Biting your fingers
2. Pulling your hair
3. Grinding your teeth
4. Scratching your body
5. Eating
6. Not eating
7. Play games
8. Sleep
9. W.W.W
10. Sexual pleasure

"I don't shy away from complexity, I avoid it when possible"

Excuses that sound legit pt. 1
PS: guilty