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Manager: We need to setup the security in the Mexico server
Dev: You mean that 3rd party firewall add on?
Manager: Yes
Dev: And set up the billing on the Mexico account?
Manager: Yes
Dev: lol, sure thing I’ll create the ticket
Manager: What’s so funny?
Dev: Nothing
Ticket: Build wall and get Mexico to pay for it.8 -
PO: we want this new functionality, a new api call is needed in checkout process
Devs: okay, and what should happen in case of error?
PO: dont worry, it wont fail. Never.
🙃3 -
Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards? Because they use a strongly typed language.4
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My CTO prefers to hire very expensive consultants than to trust on staff. It's funny, because he also decided that all technical teams should run on the absolute minimal amount of resources.
You can't imagine how shitty it felt this morning when he sent an email talking about a security consultant that we should hire, just because he thinks the guy could "take our expertise to the next level".
They will charge us 450/hour to run assessments, to find the exact same things my team discovered a year ago.5 -
Hope you survived the Monday;)
As I promised, I’d like to post my comic series “Destory” here regularly.
A story about two devs and their funny but serious project, on the hype technology - the blockchain.
6 -
My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why. I had to draw my own conclusions.1
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Hey here we go:)
My first comic series - “DevStory”
A story of two devs aiming at changing the world’s impact about cryptos by their own token project.
Bugs, cheap scammers, money, flying unicorns and a lot of laughs!
(Episode 1)
27 -
Morning there:)
To everyone who’s enjoying / doesn’t but is going to enjoy ( ̀⌄ ́) the DevStory:
here we go, with the third episode.
Leave a comment below and tell me your “dev stories” :)
11 -
I have been working for my current employer about 3 years now. When I first got to work I was asked by another employee to work on an editor for certain types of files. We will call this employee Ed. Because his name is Ed.
Ed is a verifiable genius, and a genuinely great guy to work with. He is amazing with hardware and math. Ed has a need, or shall I say fetish. He wants an editor for some our proprietary files called "Settings files". They are just xml. Nothing special.
However, I have always had other priorities. We actually had a tense moment when I had to tell Ed my boss doesn't want me to work on the editor. I had started looking into working on the editor when my boss said stop working on this file. So since then it had become a running joke between Ed and myself. Well, I think it is funny, Ed smiles, but I know he wants this editor bad. Our boss even suggested at one time that Ed write this editor. He looked into it, but "other priorities" trumped this effort.
Okay, so now it has been 3 years and we still don't have this editor. Then I had an epiphany. Since Ed wants this editor I found an idea for the name of this program. "Settings Editor" is just too mundane. I now think it should be called: "Mr. Edit". I also found that the library we use for most of our development has text to speech built in. So when the program starts I can have it say: "Hello, I am Mr. Edit, the talking Settings Editor". I have never wanted to write this program so badly before. Muahahahahaha!4 -
A programmer puts two glasses on their bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case they gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case they don’t.2
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Dad was taking me and my brother to work and we were playing with his pc. Our game was MS PowerPoint :D. We were adding funny images/emoticons to a slide and laugh. Sometimes we were printing our masterpieces. Good old days ...2
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What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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"Did you know that this popup saved the life of countless API calls by preventing users from frantically clicking the 'Continue' button?'
Another funny line I added to a dialog in my project today as one of its finishing touches :D -
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.4
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Follow up rant: https://devrant.com/rants/4943574/...
(Funny link btw.)
I tell him "Fine, upload it to the GitLab repo I created a week ago and you never used it." on Friday.
Today, the day *before the presentation*: "Here, have the GitHub repo, ask for permission and you're all set up.".
He's getting the boot.3 -
Finally, I just received an OTP message that said it will be expired in 10 minutes.
Funny part is that i was trying to login 2 hours ago at thier(new client) platform to review.
And they said it is fully functional and you will have to fix some minor issues only.
I am thinking this way( it is so secure that you received otp only after it is expired).😅1 -
The masculine urge to skew a scredriver in the lungs of the very funny colleague who place several random return statements inside their function
13 -
Isn’t it delightful when you come in to a large project to discover that they have a large underlying core that no one wants to touch but everyone relies on.
Quickly perusing the code you realize that the base was clearly created by someone who found their first tutorials for Java, but were previously a c developer.
It’s funny cause this code is of course from ~20 years ago and in different sections you can tell they were a C developer, a business admin, a Db admin, a junior conforming to pressures from others.
I recently looked at the deep rooted abuses of Java beans, and this entire internally created state management engine that serves no purpose but to create contrived complexity.
The use of propriety tools, that they paid lots for that perform incredibly simple tasks that have long since been solved by the open source community. Many of which are long defunct.
And the constant focus is on monkey patching the engine to solve small issues, which bloat the time to deal with issues. Since everything needs to be tested by their methodologies.
The inability to understand that the underlying structure is the issue and that tackling that, rather than just shifting the entire solution to new languages will suddenly solve the problems(or other underlying systems).
It’s just sad.1 -
Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base? Because there’s a Shortstop in between!
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i really fucking hate books, books are so annoying. if you comment on this rant with "lol" or some shit, how is this funny? i have an extreme hatred for books and this is not a joke, i am anti-book.30
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Hey devs!!
I just can't stop myself from sharing this.
Its been two years now ... my junior is working. and now she is handling standalone WP projects.. but somehow her task got stucked so I was asked to help her.
So I just said check the count of variables and she messaged me with code .. Ma'am this isn't working .. Haha.. I mean come on she better can google out atleast for syntax :(
<?php if(count($content2 == 3) && count($interestt2 == 3))
{
print_r($content2);
print_r($interestt2);
}else{
echo "not checked";
}
?> -
I'm currently showing my new junior the ropes in the workplace. We'll be using Gitpod for pair programming.
Me: "okay so I think Gitpod will use my configuration if we use the workspace I made... are you familiar with vim keybindings?"
Junior: "😢"1 -
Have you ever felt this way?
Taking a tour back in my developer life when I have little experience on my stack I spend days trying to fix bugs and finish tasks.
The funny thing is that I felt I was working much harder and earning less and I felt being used but that's not true because its hard to say that due to my little experience and besides those bugs won't show up if I had much experience, the bugs are very much avoidable and to crown it all an experience developer will fix it in little time, though I won't consider myself super experienced but at least I can say am better than those times and to me I have achieved some level of experience to look back at my misconceptions in the past.
Top Tags
1984
Age 9
Commodore 64
Taught myself BASIC