The future boys!

Boys use the word FRIENDSHIP to strart the relationship...

Girl use the word FRIENDSHIP to end the relationship...

Real example of Polymorphism...😜😜😜

I did it boys, shes mine. 😃
Happy Valentines

My classmate is a real SAVAGE!!

He (team leader) and his team participated in hackathons several times and kept losing.
He noticed something common about winning team, majority of those team members were women, even if they were non technical and their project was pure bs, they were winning in the name of women empowerment.

This time he came out with a plan, he fired his boys and invited women into his team, and even made one girl the team leader.
Result? HE WON!!!
NOT ONE BUT THREE HACKATHONS BACK TO BACK

AND

His so called women team was invited by Google to pitch their startup idea.

Now, if they gets funding, he's gonna kick out these women and bring back his teammates

She: I like people who takes risks.
He : I develop in a prod server.
She: My place or you place? 😉

Credits:Unknown

@Devintrix , congrats and happy lifes with your wife. this joke is for you :)

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began running unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Monday Night football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program.

Can you help me please?

Thanks,

Joe

——————————————————–
Dear Joe:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a “UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT” program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1, Jewelry 2.2, and Chocolates 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Always remember boys & girls:

Real Chat with new female friend.

Me : what are you studying now?
she : First year of MBBS
Me : that's nice. Generally boys/girls take admission in engg and commerce.
she : yuk. I hate engineer's and engineering specially that PC worm's(soft engg).
Me : k
She : what are you studying?
Me : soft engg
she : I didn't mean it.
Me : it's ok

-_-

WTF man

BOYS ITS HERE

WE FINALLY GOT SPACE VACUUM IN PHOTO

Person at work, staring at my keyboard: How much was it?
Me: The keyboard? Oh it's a cheap one for around $30.
Person: Huh... I'll never get you rich boys and your fads.

Well, I don't fucking judge you for your $600 phone, or your $80 shoes or shirts, you cuntwaffle. Fuckin' asshole has the face of a horse's left testicle, is always on his phone, which is arguably fine since he's not a dev but still fuck him, and has the gall to call me bringing my mechanical keyboard to work a 'rich fad'. Oh, that's rich coming from you. Ever seen your ugly mug in your undeserved branded clothing, you unloved, shit-gobbling piece of shit?

"You type so loud." And you breathe too loud but I don't tell you to stop but maybe I ought to.

Go suck on your daddy-uncle's chode for a couple more bucks and stop hanging around me, you judgemental cum-snorting piece of shit.

P.s. it's a cheap keyboard with blue switches but the office is normally noisy and busy enough that no one gives a shit about it. Planning on buying an Anne Pro sometime next month.

This happened when I was on third semester of the career at university. I had my first boyfriend, the "Python" guy. He has that nickname because he used Python as his main programming language and nobody on the classroom used it.

In a few words, he was a... horrible human being. He talked down to me almost all the time, saying to me that my country was sh*t (he is from United States, and for a reason he never wanted to told me, he cannot go back to his country), that my university was sh*t and he said "you're will be lucky if you rot programming in a chair".

As you might wondering, yes, unfortunately it was a toxic relationship. Once he said he wanted to kill the teacher because he though that he hacked his laptop D:

He claimed that he was going to teach me python and security stuff, bla bla bla, but nothing. I learned python by my own.

I almost lost my faith in dev future because I though that the only ones that could have a real future in programming where people without ethics and only if they have a friend or a relative on a company.

The saddest part was that I dated him because I love smart boys, but he was just an idiot that, furthermore, wanted to change me (he pressured me to have tattoos, dye my hair and have sex, things that, of course, I didn't do).

I found courage to break up with him. I waited until the semester ends (in order not to lose my programming final projects) and, the day after the last day of class, I broke up with him.

I recovered my faith on programming when, next semester, one of the teachers invited me to give a python programming workshop :D and I gave two python workshops, and two of mobile development.

Now I'm working as a junior .NET developer. Thank God I broke up with him before the relationship became even worse. "Python" wanted to marry me after a year! O_O

I googled "fuck apple" and ended up here... so yeah fuck this piece of shit company with shitty overpriced cancer inducing products. Xcode is the worse garbage I've ever seen in my life. For a company that masturbates to their superior design well they can eat a fat dick cause its horrible. Everything this fucking company does makes me waste my time. Add a fucking notch to their displays, retarded app store process, makes you workaround to install latest OS on older machines, hide options in convoluted interface, everything, make you feel like your 12 again and living with your parents. fuck them. fuck apple fan boys. fuck tim cook. fuck kids that jack off to iphones fuck you if you own a macbook and drink at starbucks . this is the last fucking ios app I ever make. bye

It’s me again. Your favourite pi man! My boss’s design got approved and the packhorse ordered lots of these bad boys. With a master degree, I’m a assembly line worker now 🙄

IntelliJ IDEA just saved my ass!
I tried deleting a resource file I had staged, but not commited yet.
A dialog comes up asking to delete alternative configs with "Yes" as the default.
Boom! After I braindead hit the enter key all other files vanished too!
I checked Git and saw to my horror that the files were also not tracked anymore.
I hastly lookup the last backup timestamp - an hour ago - fuuuuu!
I just lost about an hour of work.
I was about to give up and start from scratch when I look at the edit menu in my IDE.
Turns out you can actually undo multiple file deletions!
Kudos to the girls and boys at JetBrains! You saved the day! 😙

Life with Windows 10:

An absolute nightmare. My oven doesn't work, Washing machine started rattling, toaster toasted more than it was supposed to toast. Every time windows updates it restarts my TV in my living room.

Then I met my neighbour. He lives a very happy life. I always wanted to know his secret ingredients.

One day I invited him to my house and he saw my Windows machine. He immediately insisted that I install Linux so that I can be happy and cool like him.

And that's the day my life changed. My oven started to bake beautifully, my washing machine was spinning at full speed.

Linux changed my life. I'm now part of the cool kids. Everyone loves me, embraces me.

Is your life hard? Are you not being noticed by other cool boys/girls? Are you having pain in your back? Remember:

Whatever bad happens, it's Windows 10's fault.

My coworker boys and girls..

A quite normal Windows day:

Bios to Windows: "Go now! Get up!"

Windows to Bios: "Always slow with the young circuit boards."

"I've got something weird on screen."

Windows' answer: "Ignore it first."

Hardware assistant to Windows: "The user puts pressure. He wants me to identify this thing. Could be an ISDN card."

Windows: "Well, well."

Unknown ISDN card to all: "Will you please let me in?"

Network card to intruder: "You can't spread out here!"

Windows: "Quiet in the case! Or I'll cut both their support!"

Device Manager: "Offer compromise. The network card is allowed on Mondays, the ISDN card is on Tuesday."

Graphics card to Windows: "My driver retired yesterday. I'm crashing now."

Windows to graphics card: "When will you be back?"

Graphics card: "Well, not at first."

CD-Rom drive to Windows: "uh, I would have a new driver here..."

Windows: "What's ich´n supposed to do with it?!"

Installation software to Windows: "Leave it, I'll mach´ that already."

Windows: "That's nice to hear."

USB connection to interrupt management: "Alarm! Just been penetrated by a scanner cable. Request response."

Interrupt management: "Where are you coming from?"

USB connection: "I was in the computer right from the start. I'm joined by another colleague."

"You're not on my list." - "Say something."

Windows: "Hopefully there won't be another printer."

Graphics card: "The new driver twitches."

Windows: "We'll just have to get the old one out of retirement."

Uninstall program to new driver: "Go away."

Unwanted driver: "Fuck you."

Windows to Norton Utilities: "Kill him and his brood!"

Utilities to driver rests: "Sorry, we have to delete you."

Important system file: "Arrrrrrgghh!"

Windows on blue screen: "Gib´, the Norton Boys are over the top again."

Blue screen to user: "So, that's it for this week."

Excuse me for stealing your time

And I know it's way too long

Since every piece of software is developed by us, I sincerely request everyone to keep dark themes as the default theme.
Thanks.

So I teach a Lego mindstorms class to 5th graders for fun on my spare time. My other classes the kids usually seek me out for any programming questions but this one class of rambunctious boys would always say they're fine when I offered to help and then when they thought I wasn't looking would ask the male teacher or would pretend to listen to my explanation to not hurt my feelings. Finally my co worker told the guys "you know guys she went to school to program she does this for a living full time when she's not here. **room goes silent** In fact she's way better at programming then me". The whole room the boys mouths were open and one kid actually said noooo. We blew those kids minds. Most quiet day of class we've ever had after that.

So, when there is shit hitting the fan at work I tend to stay during lunch to take care of it and make sure I can take as much of a hit for it before it reaches my employees.

the lead developer walked to my office to let me know that he was about to take lunch and asked if i had plans for lunch. I told him that there were some reports to be done and some meetings that i had to attend and would be staying back, he asked if i was going to get something to eat and I said that I would try to get something as soon as possible. My man knows that I am on a strict regimen due to my workouts, and he normally takes concern over it.

I did not get something to eat, but the hour mark when he came back I was fucking starving and still stuck on a call T___T my man walks into my office as I was on a call (meeting) and he leaves a bag with my favorite burgers in my desk as I was waving hello T___T I thanked him afterwards.

Y'all, if youse a manager, take care of your people, fight for your people, my boys know i go the extra mile for them and we used to chill out having bbqs every other week playing pathfinder(i suck but make a fun party member) before the pandemic. Your coworkers might very well be your extended family. Even if you are the manager them peeps will look out for you if they know you are not a power hungry egomaniac that is more focused on keeping higher ups happy.

These dudes are my friends, my family, they were the board of members tasked with knowing if I was to get hired when i first joined in, and even tho I am now their manager I am still their friend, shit like this is possible and what I would implore everyone to strive for, because even if your organization is a faceless entity full of people that don't care for you, the dude at arms reach from your office is there, people are there, fellow human beings are there.

Fuck, just be nice to everyone else and I severely hope y'alls work life is a chill as this one.

Bought my older boys (5 & 6) each one of these for Christmas. It’s based on the raspberry pi with a custom Linux OS.

Not only do they put it together themselves, but it teaches them Linux and how to code. Tbh I want to play with it 😯

Expecting Apple fan boys' comments in 3..2..1 !

get him boys 😅

Boys only care about one thing

Sex talk between programmers.

She: I'm a virgin.
He: Don't worry. They call me the virginslayer007.
She: Oh! So how many virgins have you slayed till now?
He: That would be ONE in a few minutes.
She: So u r also a virgin then..
He: Don't worry. I watched so many video tutorials. We just have to do exactly as they did. Best thing is that it can be done both for testing and production purposes.
She: Let's stick to testing purposes for now.

November 2015 - Android users: "How stupid are Apple fan boys paying $100 for a stylus?"

October 2017 - Google releases $100 Pixelpen.

September 2016 - Android users: "OMG! Apple removed the headphone jack! You will have to use a DONGLE! That is ridiculous!"

October 2017 - Google announces Pixel 2 width USB-C for charging and audio playback. Includes a USB-C to 3.5mm audio dongle.

I hate YouTube recommendations. They just show you the same videos again and again after some time.

Why the fuck does a game need access to my contacts?

its GitHub downtime boys

Ok so I started doing Minecraft development because why not and it's super easy to jack the prices up on projects...

THEESE COMMUNITIES ARE SO TOXIC!! I have worked on ~ 13 servers in the past month and have built myself a pretty good reputation. Recently I was hired by a network who wanted a few plugins made and I agreed. There were two owners, one who was paying me and had already paid me and paid for everything and another who is a very popular YouTuber and streamer (~100k subs). Both owners were in a disagreement and the one who was paying for everything including my second paycheck which I thankfully recieved requested that I erased the server so the YouTuber couldn't steal the server files.

I hesitantly copied the files and sent them to the person paying me. The YouTuber then got furious and blamed the server not working out on me and now I have a bunch of 8 year old fan boys destroying my rep. I swear to god I'm going to destroy this kids YouTube channel if it's the last thing I do.

I was told that I am too sensitive and afterwards a liability because I couldn’t concentrate in a working space where interns were constantly screaming, running around, hitting and farting each other, throwing shit around and playing games (instead of working)...

I was told by the HR person that “boys will be boys”...

begin_rant()

I like that coding is becoming more and more popular.

I like that more and more people are taking steps to manifest there ideas and potentially change the world.

But for fuck's sake... can't geeks be allowed to be the fat pimply introverts of the olden days?? This used to be a realm for the misfits, and now the same assholes who tormented said misfits are joining in and making the rest feel inadaquit all over again. You can't just be a coder anymore, now you have to be a good looking and health crazed professional with great personal skills and then somehow be able to also be a master of your craft.

I don't want to hear about how you write code in between your 100 pushups and avocado toast and having a few cold ones with the boys after your <insert sport here> game. I want to hear about how you ate pizza with one hand and crushed your build with the other in between sips of shitty soft drinks and fistfuls of candy while pulling an all nighter for the nth time cuz daylight is for pussies.

Too much pressure these days as it is, and this isn't helping.

break

During an annual review process, my friend, who is a female dev (doesn't work with clients), got feedback that she needs to smile more.
I'd like to hear from the male devs here, how many of you were asked to smile more?

Once I watched a 30min YouTube video on functional programming just because the presenter was cute. 😘
Anyone ever did this ???

And btw the video is Functional programming by Anjana vakil.

We had a guest lecture about computer science and gender equality, and it was exciting to see my male classmates so supportive of drawing more women into our field...They are so tired of taking biology courses just so they can look at pretty girls 😂

Keep a tab on people who use spaces for indentation.

Apple products are fucking trash, I don't give a shit if you have money to waste, but don't fucking brag about how superior your 3000$ excuse of a fucking laptop is the best laptop in the world when you could easily afford a desktop with 2 1080 GTX in SLI for that price.

"but mac has lyk no bugs, its so good"

NO FUCKING SHIT, THE OS IS BUILT WITH THE HARDWARE USED IN MIND. THEY DON'T BUILD 500000 MODELS OF MACBOOKS, THEY JUST HAVE TO MAKE ONE MODEL WORK, AND ALL OTHER LAPTOPS WHO HAVE THE SAME HARDWARE WILL.

This is fucking ridiculous.

That's like designing a site, but only for Firefox because that's the browser you use and you expect everybody to use that browser. Obviously it'll work fine on your machine.

I am so fucking sick of Apple fan boys.
I am fully aware some of you devranters are apple fans, but this has been something I've wanted to say for ages, albeit i'm a little late to the party.

Stop wasting money on overpriced trash.

tl;dr read the whole thing you lazy goat-molesting arse.

People. It's unpopular opinion time!
Windows is brilliant.
There. I said it.

Why? Because it has the balance of user-friendliness and customisability that is great for most workloads. Its enormous user- and developer- base allow almost anything you want to be done on it.

For instance, a few years ago I hooked up a MIDI synth pad to my PC and found an obscure program to use MIDI events as macros. I did not have to write any code, compile anything or any crap like that. (If you're a developer then you'll have no problem with that kind of thing, but not everyone's an über-technical nerd like you. Deal with it.)

I don't like Windows. But it's still brilliant for most people. All you Linux fan- boys/girls/helicopters are right to advocate it, but it will never expand its market share to more than the percentage of people who are developers, (unless it turns into a corporate enterprise (which it probably won't)). It has its flaws, but most of them will never affect the average end user. OK? Thanks.

„I have secured our mongodb by setting the dbpath deeper than 20 folders by using more than 256 chars. To protect us from windows hacker boys.“

😂

GitHub is down boys

1. That my code would compile.

2. See #1.

3. See #1.

The girl I'm talking to said her brother was giving her one of those talks about how all boys are gross and want sex. I told her that the one thing I want is for my code to fucking compile

Finally YouTube implemented something from the porn websites. I'm talking about quick video review on thumbnails.

oh god. I just heard an abrupt noise emit from a pc I was told to fix that could only be described as R2-D2 fucking a 56k modem

Hi guys, this is my first rant so bear with me..

Stupid Indian fucking institutes doesn't give a shit about the things we learn in the institute. This curriculum is like from the 90's. I learnt NodeJS recently and I thought wow a new concept, not even my professor knows about it. I must be on top of the world or at least any way near it and then I see these video tutorials on the internet which are posted 2 years ago. OH MY GOD!! The thing is that my department's HOD doesn't know about that and the funny thing is that I'm doing a project under him "SECURITY OF WEB APPLICATIONS" and the only thing he knows is PHP. And FYI I'm not studying in an institute which is oblivious to the outside world. It's called an NIT, an institute of national fucking importance. At the end, I blame myself though. I should have been on myself not being completely dependent on the professors for knowledge.
I could fill the entire text area with the rant.
But then people will start ranting about the rant.
I will be posting more Indian-devRant soon so.. peace till then.

( I bet they don't know about Git/Github too)

Not mine. But it's funny

Get to unbox these two bad boys today! #excited

condition == true

is for boys,

public static boolean isTrue(boolean condition) {
try {
return new Boolean(condition).equals(Boolean.parseBoolean(new String(Boolean.toString((boolean) Boolean.class.getField(String.valueOf(true != false).toUpperCase()).get(null)).toString().toCharArray())));
} catch(Throwable t) {
return condition;
}
}

is for men.

Hi everyone, long time no see.

Today I want to tell you a story about Linux, and its acceptance on the desktop.

Long ago I found myself a girlfriend, a wonderful woman who is an engineer too but who couldn't be further from CS. For those in the know, she absolutely despises architects. She doesn't know the size units of computers, i.e. the multiples of the byte. Breaks cables on the regular, and so on. For all intents and purposes, she's a user. She has written some code for a college project before, but she is by no means a developer.

She has seen me using Linux quite passionately for the last year or so, and a few weeks ago she got so fed up with how Windows refused to work on both her computers (on one of them literally failing to run exe's, go figure), that she allowed me to reinstall both systems, with one of them being dualbooted Windows 10 + Linux.

The computer that runs Linux is not one she uses very often, but for gaming (The Sims) it's her platform to go. On it I installed Debian KDE, for the following reasons:
- It had to be stable as I didn't want another box to maintain.
- It had to be pretty OOTB, as first impressions are crucial.
- It had to be easy to use, given her skill level.
- It had to have a GUI abstraction to apt, the KDE team built Discover which looks gorgeous.

She had the following things to say about Linux, when she went to download The Sims from a torrent (I installed qBittorrent for her iirc).

"Linux is better, there's no need to download anything"
"Still figuring things out, but I'm liking it"
"I'm scared of using Windows again, it's so laggy"
"Linux works fine, I'm becoming a Linux user"

Which you can imagine, it filled me with pride. We've done it boys. We've built a superior system that even regular users can use, if the system is set up to be user-friendly.

There are a few gripes I still have, and pitfalls I want to address. There's still too many options, users can drown in the sheer amount of distro's to choose from. For us that's extremely important but they need to have a guide there. However, don't do remote administration for them! That's even worse than Microsoft's tracking! Whenever you install Linux on someone else's computer, don't be all about efficiency, they are coming from Windows and just want it to be easy to use. I use Mate myself, but it is not the thing I would recommend to others. In other words, put your own preferences aside in favor of objective usability. You're trying to sell people on a product, not to impose your own point of view. Dualboot with Windows is fine, gaming still sucks on Linux for the most part. Lots of people don't have their games on Steam. CAD software and such is still nonexistent (OpenSCAD is very interesting but don't tell me it's user-friendly). People are familiar with Windows. If you were to be swimming for the first time in the deep water, would you go without aids? I don't think so.

So, Linux can be shown and be actually usable by regular people. Just pitch it in the right way.

Had a dream that I was attacked by Apple fan boys while eating lunch because I had a dell laptop 😨

"I keep telling you, I'm not a pilot"
"and I keep telling you, you fly boys crack me up!"

I'm not a developer, but I'm doing some complex things and I need the benefit of computers to work things out, so I know enough programming to get me by. Recently one of the uppers decided that all the amateur spaghetti python programs I'd quickly slapped together should be developed into tools that the clients engineers can use!

"How long do you need!."
" I have no idea how to make something like that",
"but it's all just maths right! you can figure it out",
"probably, given long enough bu.. "
"okay get started and we'll check in in a couple of weeks" "hold o.." "I'll give your pride and joy to the graduate to fuck up while you're working on that" "wai.. " "anyway got take this call, good luck"
┗|｀O′|┛

So here I am.. I have no idea what I'm doing.

So since I have a working knowledge of python, fortran and VBA, someone suggested I learn nim, which was not what he sold it as. Then a software engineer that went to the same uni as me, suggested RUST! you can't mess up rust, and look at this I created (shows me a decent looking desktop application) "I'll help you out". But it wasn't really that easy.

Then I asked some questions... that was my first mistake, that's not acceptable until you know what you're doing apparently. Especially when the answers are in the docs you can't find in a topic you don't understand for a version you're not using solved with a tool you've never heard of for an operating system you forgot existed. Look at this moron asking a question.

Okay to be fair, I went through the rust docs and it was well written, and I do really like this language. But I do not have a degree in computer science, and so many docs for crates are just written with an expectation of a certain level of knowledge. As soon as there's a build error, it's at least 3 -4 days of me faffing about trying to decipher hieroglyphics.

..and the graduate is about to unwittingly commit manslaughter..

I'm sure whoever needs to fix this mess in the future will post a rant about this train wreck.

So my HP laptop got a weird problem lately.

It doesn't charge when I plug in the charger(yes, i turned on the switch). So I began searching forums for a solution and then found out that there are so many people like me out there.
Then I was like ok, chill. There are many people like me, there must be a solution somewhere.

And after doing lots of research and trying all the solutions in the internet, the only thing that worked out is this ....

Step1 : turn on and the laptop and plug in the charger.
Step 2: Turn off the laptop.
Step 3: Now turn it back on and poof there you go, the laptop's charging.

And then I improvised the solution myself, which is u can replace the switch off part with Sleep which saved me some time.

And then whenever I try to show something my friends somethjng on my lap and the battery gets low, I do the ritual. For a brief moment their face becomes like dude I'm gonna kill you off, why the hell did u bring me here and now u r turning that off. And then I explain the history of my laptop.

Why HP whyyy ?

I love to teach these boys and girls for basic C. :3

Note that the example tags for rants includes Xcode... There is a reason.

In 1984 Apple introduced Macintosh and we got a computer that could barely handle multiple windows on the screen. But by 1986 multiple windows all over the place.

In 1985 Microsoft introduced Window 1.0 Yes boys and girls, no "s" because it hand only one Window. 7 years later in 1992 Microsoft got their head out of their ass and produced "MDI" or Multiple Document Interface and woohoo, had multiple windows on the screen... big boy pants 8 years after Mac.

Today we have Xcode from Apple. The old Window 1.0 engineers are apparently alive and well as Xcode is a One Window Trick Pony and if you fight with it, it starts randomly jamming your separate Windows into tabs into one window, completely fucking up your spatial organization of your working source code.

It is like the bastards going into a blind man's house and re-arranging his furniture for fun.

Xcode - it's only free if your time is worth absolutely nothing.

I've sadly been using an iPhone for the past few weeks 😔

I'm a hard core android fan but,well if I'm honest with you I got super high and got amnesia woke up with a dead screen on my android phone so got myself an iPhone since I needed to test an app I'm building , comes to think of it that women twice my age I kissed to piss her off might of broken it .. so my friends say ...

Anyway the point being iphones ... not that bad I'm aware people praise their software but it's to rigid for my liking there's features android has I believe that makes it superior

Cameras are better ... build quality is solid. Can't complain really. My android was a one plus 3 great phone also

I might get the s8 I'm waiting to see if they hold up or the new one plus phone if I find the specs ...

The point is as devs we get so stuck in our ways I consider us generally the most open Minded people but not when it comes to tech we are generally hard core fan boys of one company or another

But in truth, there's a lot of great products out there worth our money even if they are apple ... money grabbing bitches.

I say this because my hate for apple whilst it's still there I can at least respect them a little for certain things especially their phones

I love when employers reach out to you like desperate fuck boys on a dating app.

Tell me more about your “amazing” benefits package that’s indistinguishable from any other, your PTO that is as “unlimited” as my phone plan, and the empty mustard packets you acquired in series Z funding.

I’ve got all day to watch your dance play out its milky chance.

reality

[Hears a commotion about a Java vs C# debate in the computer room]

Me: "Boys, you can't fight in here, this is the war room"

[eerie glare from the crowd]

Me: "uhhh... nya?"

[Everyone leaves the room]

oh, guess I'm gonna be doing the project by myself then

I wonder if the meeting at Rubber ducks quack association goes like this...
Why the hell doesn't my guy see the problem? It's fucking right there! Why don't you see it??? OMG! I request for a change of owner.

Real-time physics calculation of +250000 blocks on AMD Athlon.

No worries boys, I had fire extinguisher.

I fucking love how the Cyberpunk 2077 disaster goes down... and then, silently, Kerbal Space Program 2 pushes their launch date back again by another year.

Lol, is someone a little afraid? Take your time, boys.

Felt so awkward today. Bare in mind I am still a junior. I was on a pull request reviewing session on a repo I use. I was being super super pedantic with variable names, data types etc as the people who wrote it are brand new to the company. I then realise I had just reviewed the companies lead developers PR to a different repo. Every time someone comments on a PR on this repo all developers in the company get an email notification. I sat there litrually sweating, bright red with the words 'oh ****' on an infinite loop in my head, staring at the screen waiting to see what was to happen.

Thankfully he was ok with the comments. But now people keep calling me the lead developer (teasing) fml I hate anxiaty

First time in years that I've hugged my best friend. Felt weird and we got really confused looks from the others (class full of boys n shit), but we were so happy because we both got a really good grade on an important test!

Why isn't this a common things men do!? We should all hug more 🤗

About to send my entire department on Vacation Leave today for the next week. We have 3 days of work before we go on holiday leave (next week). And I want to give them a 3 day head start because fuck everyone else and I want me boys to enjoy shit beforehand.

Fuck you, managers do care.

I know this isn’t dev related at all but...

Nor is it a question, as my fat finger set it to...

Eminem just dropped a surprise album at midnight last night. No promotion, no bullshit. Just straight hip hop.

And the album cover is a throw back to the beastie boys!

If you can’t tell already, I am super pumped about this!!!

There she is boys! Xiaomi Mi Notebook Air

My company just did its first delivery to a new big customer , got the acceptance docs signed etc.

Was pretty funny to see management and the business-tards furiously emailing one another with company wide replyAll
Congratulating one another over an excellent job they had done in particular,

for example :
Gavin : Ahh capital , well done john for your undertaking in this tremendous accomplishment

John: oh and thank YOU for your guidance Gavin, couldnt have done it without you, we really exceeded outselves with the hard work we put it, also a big mention to (insert another inbred manager's name)

And that keeps on bouncing on and on

( absolutely no fucking mention of devs who did the actual Work, nooo nooo just a brief reference to us as "the boys in london"....)

Kinda glad they aren't in office most of the time else this level of back-patting would have probably turned into a circle jerk in the board room.

Almost thought of getting the dev teams to join the storm of emails and start randomly congratulating one another too with company wide replyAlls but that kind of prank would likely be ill received by out high and mighty leaders.

( on the flip side maybe they would actually learn out names)

Me, being a lowly junior dev, had the honor of being in a same group chat with a big corporation devOps team.
Finally ready to play with the big boys!!

*opens chat*
DevOps 1: "so we need to remove the CSS cache from our clients computers."
DevOps 2: "ok, well... just delete the server cache"

*watching in awe as they all try to figure out why it's not working*

This continued on for a while...
Until my boss had enough laughs and giggles and put an end to this stupidity :D

I was watching "hacker reviews hacking scenes from movies", and god forbid they brought a woman to do the analysis. A lot of butt hurt boys in the comments, that women left the kitchen and got into programming.
This aside, the combination of ignorance and arrogance was just wow. I mean, if you want to be a dick, at least back it up with skills.
Don't make claims about how "GUI is the single most important piece of any software". *laughing in embedded programming*

Now I have to register on oracle website with a my company name and work phone before i can download jre or jdk. That's it boys and girls. You're unemployed? No minecraft for you!

Today was a day at work that I felt like I made a significant contribution. It was not a lot of code. Actually it was a difference of 3 characters.

I am developing an industrial server so that my employer can provide access to their machines to enterprise industrial systems. You know, the big boys toys. Probably in fucking java...

Anyway, I am putting this server on an embedded system. So naturally you want to see how much serving a server can serve. In this case the device in more processor starved than memory starved. So I bumped up the speed of the serving from 1000mS to 100mS per sample. This caused the processor to jump from 8% of one core (as read from top) to 70%. Okay, 10x more sampling then 10x approx cpu usage. That is good. I know some basic metrics for a certain amount of data for a couple of different sampling rates.

Now, I realized this really was not that much activity for this processor. I mean, it didn't seem to me that it "took much" to see a large increase of processor usage. So I started wondering about another process on the system that was eating 60 to 70 % all the time. I know it updated a screen that showed some not often needed data from its display among controlling things. Most of the time it will be in a cabinet hidden from the world. I started looking at this code and figured out where the display code was being called.

This is where it gets interesting. I didn't write this code. Another really good programmer I work with wrote this. It also seemed to be pretty standard approach. It had a timer that fired an event every 50mS. This is 20 times per second. So 20 fps if you will. I thought, What would happen if I changed this to 250mS? So I did. It dropped the processor usage to 15%! WTF?! I showed another programmer: WTF?! I showed the guy who wrote it: WTF?! I asked what does it do? He said all it does it update the display. He said: Lets take to 1000mS! I was hesitant, but okay. It dropped to 5%!

What is funny is several people all said: This is running kinda hot. It really shouldn't be this hot.

Don't assume, if you have a hunch, play with it if its safe to do so. You might just shave off 55 to 60 % cpu usage on your system.

So the code I ended up changing: "50" to "1000".

Alright boys, let me tell you how someone fucked up so hard they got their deployment schedule delayed "indefinitely".

Being security, we get to oversee most deployments, and we especially get to oversee all deployments that are on IT-managed tech. Knowing fullwell about this fact, some dumb motherfuckers woke up and thought to themselves "You know what would be good fun? To piss on security's asshole and then try and ream them up the backside before they notice the piss!"

Well let me tell you, we noticed. And our boss noticed. And his boss noticed. And the CIO noticed. Thus it came down the chain that this particular group of lie-spurting, baseless accusation-leveling group of developers would have their deployments put on hold. How long? "A while."

I have never quite heard my higher-ups this mad before, but damn if i dont share in their enthusiasm to stick it to entitled cunts.

My company has two offices in separate cities but they treat each the devs of each location very very differently.

In one office the devs get full power to experiment with whatever tech they want, they just stomp their feet and management gives em whatever they ask for, freedom of choice regarding anything they are working on, to be allowed to do greenfield work or experimental stuff

But in my office we are forced to do ONLY. Bug fixing and refactoring shitty code from over a decade a go, our tech is ancient and we are not allowed to to
Shit , anything we ask for is denied
And improvements to our process is shut down with the reasoning that whatever we got works so why meddle ??

For us , management is solely focussed on making sure we respond to support calls , deployments , configurations and little bug fixing. Basically they only care that we manage to finish for out next delivery.
No new work whatsoever!
If there is any hint of something new to to
Implemented the golden boys from the other office just stopm their feet tillmthey get it or just go off and start working on it then seek permission afterwards, with their much larger team they obviously get further than we do by the time management hears about it so they end up taking over the work since they already have more done already

My manager decided to push us to attend a company devCon to share ideas with our devs from our other location. This rapidly turned into a sour experience

Basically we do all shitty boring work which puts money on the table which goes straight to those idiots to play with...

They have the guts to laugh when we mentioned that we never get anything interesting to work on

Never seen so many of our devs looking up job sites on the bus back...
This is gonna blow up in management's face...

Who remembers these big boys?

Boys and girls. Never work as a Udacity mentor to get some extra pocket money. NEVER EVER! They are absolute rubbish. It is sad to see the platform that I once loved get transformed from an extremely cool thing into this crap.

There will be a rant or a series of rants in the future about this.

There's this huuuge project I was a part of for half a year. I was kicked off along with a few dozens of other devs (>60% of total manpower) a while ago for particular company reasons.

Now the remaining devs are oh-so-enjoying their time there..

1. workload has not changed
2. deadlines have not changed
3. no one will have Christmas-NewYear vacation
4. a new k8s-based infra is scheduled to roll out to PROD on Dec 23 (k8s is still far from ready - might need a few more months)

The most fun part is that it's not client's mgmt who has decided for #4 -- it's our own....

Boys.. Girls.. Save yourselves.

Merry Christmas everyone.

I passed this day alone, in another country, away from family, friends and without anyone to hang out with.
On top of that my gf (she lives in my country) posted a video dancing with her ex.

So, enjoy your time with your family and friends, even they're not perfect they love you and care about you.
I m kinda sad right now, but I will fight this. I m gonna be alone and when the year change so i believe its time to strengthen my character.

Happy holidays boys n girls. 🙂

spent a week on medical leave, came back to utter chaos? my boys, you can't do my shitty job for a week? lmao
everything was dropped halfway through the week, a lot of old data live, shit passing the deadline. and I don't do much, just press the freaking buttons 🤦‍♀️

>come home
>have mail
>it's from devRant

Thanks devRant 😝 I'm part of the big boys club now !

Started programming on one of these bad boys. It's an ABC80 a Swedish built computer.

Boy did I envy the kids that later got a C64 with color graphics. After all black and white is not that sexy... But I made my first steps in a version of basic none the less.

I did an assessment for a company and passed the tests. A Microsoft teams interview with the lead developer and 2 other developers is in 2 hours! Fingers crossed boys!!!! I hope I get my first developer job!!!

16 Reasons to date a programmer

Everyone's on my watch list.

Sincerely
Boss.

!rant

Had a meeting with the head of my department concerning the status of many of our current projects. Them projects are huge and it is 2 dedicated devs(me and the lead) working on them whilst training our CMS admin in development to help out(dude is talented af and really digs programming) and my manager was so worried about what he was gonna say.

The thing is, she doesn't know how to take a break, she never pushes us, but she does push herself and it pains the team to see her take so much heat. She really is a bomb manager, and we want her to be more at ease.

Well a couple of days ago the vips of the board decided to bombard her with shit since out dptmnt head was on sick leave. The stress they put on her was some military grade bs and even then she never...EVER took it out on anyone.

The head of our department walked in to talk to us about it. Dude is a tall older gentleman, suits up every day(Texas style meaning cowboy boots and everything) and is quite imposing. Has a stern look man, one of them 1000 mile stares and a huge mustache that more than surpasses mine(which mind you, my mustache is fucking outstanding)

Our boss walked into the meeting room, sat down and heard what she had to say, she was not excusing herself. As bomb as this gorgeous woman is she was all about telling him what we were going to show the board on next week's meeting.

He sat there quietly listening to her as well as the presentation that me and my boys had to do.

What happened next blew me the fuck out of this world.

He said that he was sorry that so much stress had come down to her and us whilst he was gone and that he was happy with the leadership showcased by her and the initiative that the team took to put forward a presentation for him and the board. He also said that he was going to make said presentation for us since the vips had no business stressing us out, he asked for our assistance for any of the technical stats since even though he was a programmer he is not aware of all the inner details of our apps. He said that it is commendable that such a small team can hold 2 campus(college level) and that he was aware of the technical proficiency of me and the lead and that he knows that our shit is not something that gets done overnight.

He then said that at any given time that we get antagonized by matters such as timeframes or shit like that that we can direct everyone to him, regardless of what.

.He was also really amazed at the progress we showed him on the current projects(most are on their respective testing phases).
He then reiterated on how proud he is of all of us before biding us a good weekend and leaving to his office

As i sat there watching how the world was lifted from my manager and happy that he enjoyed the progress of my work I could not help but feel a deep sense of admiration and respect for this mysterious man.

I would damn skippy take a bullet for him....just in case my draw gets sloppy that is, ain't no one taking aim at the boss.

Not here to disturb y'all , but am a little sad because our cute little boy honey has wandered somewhere and hasn't come back for last 2 days. :'(

I don't know what to do, we searched the whole area nearby and there are no signs of him. We have also alerted a few neighbors who aren't bad to animals.

But i guess it's his time to go out. We always had many cats , and we live on the topmost floor, so cats usually wander over to different terraces and come back after a few hours. But there is always a day, when they go away, nd never comes back.usually the female cats return, with stomach full of babies, but the boys are full Roadies, king of some random place

Its just my heart says he hasn't gone forever. He is a super dumb, and not very much of a bold boy. I think he fell somewhere in an empty home,and couldn't find his way back. ;_;

The only reason I'm still using WhatsApp or Facebook is because my classmates have a social group in which they share important information and tbh that's easy than dealing with emails.

Have to deal with bullshittery for one more year.

Got these bad boys in the mail today.

Much thanks to the Guy's at devRant.

Ohhh boys, even the frame broke off *shit*. C'mon boy pls just stay with me you have been with me for just 4 years .

Update on my Facebook and Booking.com interviews. I had them back to back today.

Even before I start, I accept and admit that I am a hypocrite. I hate Amazon yet order stuff from there. I hate Microsoft yet use their products. I hate Facebook yet went ahead to interview with them.

I fucking hate myself for compromising my ethics, values, and integrity. I had promised myself that even if I work for any major shit company, I'd never go with Facebook. Here I am after many years. Not an excuse, but I am doing it because I see it as an entry point into the UK. That's all.

Community's hate towards me is justified and I'd accept the discrimination from this community because this place is my digital home and you all are my family. Infact first thing I told mom was, dR boys are gonna disown me when they get to know about this.

Anyway, coming to the update part.

I had applied leave at work from last Friday. 4 days of leave earned me 10 days off (including weekends and 2 days of Diwali company holiday).

Last Thursday I got to know that Facebook has scheduled their interview today (Friday). I spent insane amount of time preparing. Approximately 8 hours everyday including weekend. I added nearly 40+ hours preparing for it in last 7 days, because I had to get in. Failure isn't an option now.

I sacrifice my family time, preparing for the interview.

I sacrifice Diwali break, sitting in front of the screen and studying.

I sacrifice my only vacation of 2021, doing mock interviews as late as 11.30 PM.

I sacrifice my free time and enjoyment, stressing over what could happen.

I was prepared like perfect for screening stage.

Interview 1: this guy comes and ask 'what is the best compliment you have got as a PM?' and 'Why do you want to quit the current company?'

He wasn't supposed to ask those as per Facebook's policy and interview stage.

Then he gave me a shit problem to solve and rejected my approach and wanted it his was. I tried to follow him and made sure I was able to convince with the reasoning but he kept pushing me back. He kept putting me down. Did not listen to me or what I had to convey or what was expected as an answer. He had certain output in his mind and wanted me to come up with it as an answer.

For the uninitiated: Facebook gives ton of preparation material and tells upfront the kind of questions they'll ask they just focus on few things. Moreover, in Product interviews, there isn't right or wrong answer.

Anyway, this guy started making funny expressions which put my morale down and I stood my ground with losing my cool. I managed to get all my answers right and the key points the look into a candidate. It went decent. Yet the interviewers attitude was something I did not like.

Interview 2: the lady was really kind and warm. Very accommodating and easy person to deal with. It went amazingly well.

I have two observations I want to share with you all.

1. I hate what Facebook does. Lizardberg is awful human being. But I absolutely liked HOW they are doing things, at least from an interview stand point. They even had mock sessions by their PMs and upfront told how to prepare and how to answer.

2. While it seems to be a 5 star experience, I found them to function mechanically. No small talk, no human connection (ironic to their mission), no conversational flow of the interview (again something that they kept saying a zillion times in all their material). They came, formally introduced themselves, and had a checklist kind of attitude, and left.

I now await for the feedback.

In the next hour, I had Booking.com first round.

Amazing people. Warm friendly experience. Treated me as a human. Heard me. Made me feel part of the conversation rather than someone just being judged.

It went 1000x better than Facebook.

I await the feedback from them as well.

I don't know what's gonna happen but one thing for sure, the kind of expectations Facebook set for their interviews, was nowhere close to the reality. It was awful.

180° was for Booking.com

Guess the saying stands true, expectations always lead to disappointment.

Finally I feel de-stressed and my Diwali vacation starts AFTER Diwali ended. Or rather just a regular weekend.

2021 has been terribly awful year for me. Hope this shitty year ends soon.

Me and the boys implementing a compiler

To normal people that think to be real developers just because they use command line, command line editors, linux... To open source super heroes, stuck in 90s stereotypes' blaming everything against microsoft and anybody that use anything from ms, because for some reasons they things they have the right to do so, but you're not better than old ms...use whatever you want, but don't bother the other DEVELOPERS, everybody is free to use whatever they wants...funny thing i guess they use any of google services or products :)

How people chat with their girlfriend-

BOYS - chat on WhatsApp

Men - calls directly on phone

Programmers -Raise an Issue & comment on GitHub😂😜

I feel like I need to clarify the concept of toxic masculinity and toxic femininity.

The masculinity itself is not toxic! Being a masculine man is not being toxic. Being a man is not being toxic.

Toxic masculinity, in a nutshell, is:
- Teaching boys to never express their feelings. Men don't cry. You should always maintain the “tough” image. If you open up about how you feel, you're a pussy. Domestic abuse of men doesn't exist. A man can't be raped by a woman.
- You should only depend on yourself. Even if you're in trouble (say, with depression or bullying), and you ask for help, you're a pussy.
- Boys will be boys. Aggression is typical for men, and expressing it beating other men is a manly behaviour.

There is also toxic femininity:
- Men should work and provide for the women. Women shouldn't work, they should instead be housekeeping and raising kids.
- Women should be pretty and work on their looks (to attract men).
- If you don't have kids by the age of 30, there is something wrong with you.

It almost seems like traditional grotesque gender roles diminish the personality for the sake of social conformity. The pattern is always “men should”, “women should”. They tell you what to do, authoritatively so, based on your biological sex. They try to “put you in your place” where you “belong” just because of your genitals. This is toxic.

It is important to retain personality. The ultimate goal is to get rid of those stereotypes and finally throw them in the garbage bin where they belong. Because of them, we have anorexia in women (the most deadly mental disorder), and also male suicides through the roof.

Before you label me “feminist”, bear in mind that the third wave is all over the place, to the point they can't agree on what feminism is.

Still deciding where to stick these bad boys. Thanks David&Tim, keep up the good work!

Our relationship is like a diode, you take and never give (I demand sex as compensation).

Btw, I really used this but with simpler words with two girls who wanted a ride to go and have fun with other boys in the clubs...

My best friend gave them a ride for over a year.
When we denied more, they started calling me... Wonder why.

Took them one time, asked for gás money.
Only called me one-month later, didn't ask for gás but said I wanted some snug and fun in return... OK, you can have us both (OH YEAH!!!).
On the club, they go for the muscular guys, leaving me alone.
When I got tired, got to one of them and said, ask your friend a ride home because I'm going now. (they ran for my ride since the guys they picked were all pricks and would probably dump them somewhere).
Never called me again...
Told what I did to my best friend, next time they called he demanded sex for both of us, never called him again.
And that's how you fuck opportunistic people. Fuck them.

Indian boys, can you educate me as to why your scammers drop the word "sir" so much?

Well, boys. They got him.

Office door here is perfectly fit:

Pull - when you enter.
Push - when you leave.

Well done boys!

So a server goes down and being the only person who can recover it, I get started, whilst doing this the boys sits right next to me (6 inches) and starts asking what caused the problem instead of letting me get on and fix it, then complains the outage was too long.

Switched to Linux yesterday on my Surface. I'm half way there boys!

Next step: Work PC

So recently I started to observe a little upgrade in the Google's searching algorithm. The next suggestion in Google's search box is depending more on my immediate preceding search. It's so good that its starting to creep the hell out of me.

New project arrises says teacher, my mate and I go to the meeting and it seems alright, guy says he'll pay us $1000 each.
A couple weeks later, "Sorry boys cant get that much money need to pay you $500 each".

Now we have basically finished the whole thing he sends an email and it says, "We got a great fund of $333 for both of you."

Lesson learnt never work in a community project if your looking for money.

Wow thanks play music for the handy navigation shortcut. Now I can hear the previous songs again and again! 😑

WE DID IT BOYS! @dfox @trogus I feel that putting our devRant stickers on our laptops is officially a thing- So I'm prepared to join the dark side 😄

Vape bloggers be telling people that it's impossible to quit vaping salt nicotine but I quit successfully. Here's how it went:
1. I took my addiction to the point when I vaped three cartridges a day (that's a lot). I remembered that feeling and recalled that dizziness and urge to vomit instead of "pleasure" when I wanted to vape again
2. It's hard to quit on your own. Instead of nicorette and other shit that doesn't work (because it's also nicotine), I took Cytisine. It removed that URGE and the only thing left to tackle was a psychological addiction
3. Vaping and smoking in my head was tied to a cool moments that I experienced, like smoking with the boys after a hackaton, etc. I analyzed them and realized that they're cool not because of the fact of smoking, they are cool per se. So smoking was not necessary

In my last days of cytisine therapy I not only forgot that I vaped, I sometimes forgot to take cytisine. That means the therapy was successful. My average running distance already improved from 1.5 to 3 km.

There is a research that quitting consuming nicotine can help cure depression. I'll check on that

I just had a boys-out night with my son. Went to some restaurant, found a parking spot in a confusing parking lot (half is more expensive than the other half of the lot, not sure which fee applies to the middle row... confusing), started paying for parking with the app (pays every 15 minutes until stopped).

Went inside, ordered a pizza, some ice cream. Chatting, playing, eating, having fun,... An SMS comes: "You have outstanding fines" and a link to the gov taxes' website.

wtf.. I must have parked in the wrong spot. FUCK! Oh well, it should not be a large fine anyways, it's just for parking....

Click on the link, login with my bank/SmartID creds. Another SmartID dialog pops up asking for a PIN2.
What? PIN1 is for authentication, PIN2 is for Authorization. What am I authorizing...?
Reading through the Auth message: "Paying 2473€ for Boris SomeLastname".

what.....?

Thank God my muscle memory did not kick in and I did not enter that PIN2.
And thank God I know what PIN1 and PIN2 are for.
It would've been one expensive boys-out evening... Even a strip club would've been cheaper.

Stay sharp, guys!

P.S. Later I checked the URL. It used all the right keywords, and it was registered as an .info domain. It was somewhat off, but gov websites trying to be lean do sometimes use some weird ass domains.

The reason I liked Captain Marvel, is because it wasn't about defeating something or someone. It was about remembering who you are, picking yourself up, and moving forward with what you've always wanted to do.

This is a similar situation with most designers and developers.

If you watch it again, notice that she was always falling hard. From riding a bike to completing an obstacle course, she would try something and fail.

But she kept trying.

After losing sight of her goals by being distracted and derailed by someone else with another agenda - she was slowly reminded of them, and eventually remembered what she forgot.

Then, not only was she was able to what she originally set out to do - but, ended up doing them better than she ever expected.

If that's not a great story for boys and girls to grow up with - and, for adults to learn from (including some of my peers) - I honestly don't know what is.

Girls sniff boys.

I sniff RS485.

Fuck exposure!
May be you should get some exposure of how things work😒

Excuse me Ubuntu.. what the fuck is your problem??? (Here I am waiting for fan boys standing for their favourite OS btw)

This is from “The boys”, any idea what language this suppose to be 🤣 (or maybe it exists and I’m a freaking ignorant) 🧐

Stupid fucking idiot startup asshole hired me as an intern. Promised me the money after the work is done. We were friendly during the internship. The work is done and now it's been a week and still no money yet. He's saying it'll take some time. To beat you to shit it'll take some time you asshole!

Lesson learned: Never ever be friendly with the guy who hires you. Like never!!

Also money later isn't a good thing.

GIRLS PRANK
Omg I changed her lipstick with one of a slightly different color I'm so random she'll go CrAaAaAzY

BOYS PRANK
Use Tampermonkey to transform your colleague's pc into a chinese botnet and redirect him to some PCC website on every click forever

Yeah long story short that's how my previous firm blocked access to domains hosted by the Chinese government.

So this came up when I was trying to search for length property in JS.

Thank fuck it's Friday boys

FUUCCKKKK!! I need to hit smth. Or rant..

So that flaky ec2 issue.. These ec2s act as a shared environment for multiple apps. Our app is one of them. I have no access to those ec2s at all.

What I have access to is my app and some monitoring. Now the app randomly starts lagging while nearly idling. At the same random times monitoring stops completely and doesn't come back up. This happens to random app instances at random times.

Reached out to infra support, managed to get attention from the big boys [mgmt]. Today we got the fix deployed. I test it out -- problem persists.

I find this behaviour somewhat familiar. Managed to get some server stats from infra folks. Apparently cpu% is high as well as load avg [cpu queue]. Bingo! I know how to fix it!

So I write a long comment w/ all the commands and all the 'if that, do this'. Send it to one of the infra technitians

and I get a reply: 'we will apply cpu usage limitations to fix the issue'

wait... Cpu% limitations will do nothing but highlight the underlying problem...

'no, instances have high cpu utilisation which is causing those lags. We will limit cpu resources and it will be fixed'

oh ffs... Cpu utilization and cpu queue are VERY different things.. I tried explaining that to them like 7-9 times. And all I get is:

'yes, cpu utilization is the problem. We will limit it and solve the problem'

I would surely escalate all of this through higher channels if only I could get my hands on those ec2s and have a proof. But that is not happening and I'm forced to sit back and watch them break things even worse until they are out of options and mark my query as 'wont fix'....

Fuck that's frustrating....

*thinking to myself* so I've read about that new vulnerability 2 days ago that allows one to escape from docker container to the host... What if <...>

just so you boys know, "sorry you feel this way" is not an apology, and if a guy comes with this bs to me they will be sorry for the way I'll feel then

These boys could talk about paint drying and I'd watch.

Fresh internship story (Part 3)

Turns out my coworker with a mental disorder(adhs and idk what you call it. He is 24 years old, but is mentally between 16 and 18) is gay.

ATTENTION: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER SINCE THIS IS GOING TO GET DISGUSTING!

My cheap coworker's name is Justin btw. I felt a weird atmosphere when I joined the team. Justin seemed to be a hetero guy. (I am generally assuming that every guy and girl I met is hetero). But he had his slightly "gay moves".

Yesterday, I was curious about it and asked him about why he was afraid about the police to identify him on a video to start the conversation. He told me that his ex did cheat on him. Since I assumed that he was hetero I asked if the girl was cheating on him. He got embarrassed.
him:"I uhmm... am... not hetero. I am...*stops talking*"
me:"What? Are you bi? Are you gay? What are you?"
him:"I am gay."
me:"Oh... *tries to hide the shock* I see.*silence for a minute*"
me:"What is the name of your ex?"
Justin:"Fabian. Fabian had a video and pictures of me and he put them online and did spread them with everyone. After that I got punched by some dudes. Now I want to take my revenge."
me:"... well... now that makes sense.*silence*"

I felt sorry for him and decided to keep listening. I made a wrong decision there.

2 hours later he told me how he got gay, because I wanted to know if he was born gay or if he became gay.
He told me his whole life was full of sex.
He found a sextape of his parents and jerked off to it without cuming since he did not even hit puberty yet. Then he had sex with a 6 year old girl and then with a 12 year old girl when he was 8 or something in both cases.

Later he got into a place full of guys.
He first started jerking off to hetero porn among the dudes. I wonder how he got no shame while doing it. Anyways, after that he began to feel something for boys and less for girls since boys were able to understand him more than girls. Then he became gay and his sex life with boys started.
It was very disgusting, but I wanted to know it.

next morning:
*he keeps talking about how Fabian fucked him outside in the bushes and I keep ignoring him*

aight boys i'm doing it
i'm switching to Linux full-time

no i'm not using arch or arch-based, i lost my arch bootdisk and i'm not spending another 100hrs on making it work again

Lol 2 hrs deep in procastination, and the boys over at devRant decided to save my soul 😁

A few days after the vacation, daddy (me) finally finished copying all the photos from the digital camera to the big external hard drive. Left it lying in the living room, in the corner where all the tech stuff frequently lies. In come my boys, and I'm not sure why, they start plugging power supplies around. Unfortunately the one from the laptop fit into the hole on the external disk, but had a different (higher) voltage. Result: 1 fried hard drive, containing all the baby photos and videos of said boys up that time.
I still believe that it's only the circuit board that is fried, and the data is still all there. I still have the hope to find a used disk, replace the board and all will be back.

I feel myself stronger boys!

Well it finally happened boys.....

I SPILLED MY FUCKING COFFEE DIRECTLY OVER MY IMAC FUCKING KEYBOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First one in the office that can show off these bad boys :)

Alright sit down boys this is gonna be a good tale (also a long one).

I'm currently developing a wordpress site for a Client. Everythings works well enough, I had a few "wtf is this shit" moments. Now we decided to give him access to the wp site so that he can see and change (I know, I know don't judge me pls), so I set up tunneling with ngrok, but that PIECE OF SHIT WP DIDN'T WORK ANYMORE. You asking why? Oh I'm telling you why, wp uses ONLY absolute paths. Well fuck, I ain't gonna touch that piece of shit php code, so I installed a plugin and shit was working.
In short, after a few fucking HOURS that shit finally worked. Well that would be a great fucking end for our little tale right? Yeeeeaaah no, I shit you not, it gets even better!

After a few days my client gets back at me that he can't enter fucking wp-admin to work on the text an stuff (again pls don't judge me for granting him access to the backend of wp during development). So I checked it out and that piece of shit didn't work. If anyone would happen to know why, I would be grateful bc for the love of spagetti monster I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE!
So I said to myself well fuck this shit and put it on a webhoster. Uploaded all the files, and migrated the db. Sounds like it finally worked right? Well guess again buddy. So I needed to go to the database, updated values manually for wp to have the correct url and then still needed to force it to refresh every fucking link.

As it finally works now, this tale is also finished then and I really hope that part 2 is never ever comming!
Sorry for the (somewhat) long rant but this is some next generation bullshit.

Boys vs Girls

i was having a really hard time because there was no record of changes in code, the boys would communicate changes in private and I'd spend hours trying to figure out why i couldn't compile. when i asked my boss that they put that info somewhere, he said it was unnecessary and that it always worked that way before i came. ofc it worked, it was 2 guys coding. i couldn't work properly and everything took forever to sort, no one tried to help. i went to hr and they just told me i was right and that i had to be patient. i quit soon after

A friend just told me to use Google translate on the word "Wifey" appearantly the Chinese language still likes Soulja boys

Another rant reminded me:

I’ve been at the same company for almost five years now, and I’ve seen the dev teams grow: several juniors come in, and even a few that left - or more precisely, was let go. And for each of those that were let go, the root issue with them was always the same: not the lack of skills or ability to learn their trade at job, no. It was always communication issues serious enough to render working with them impossible.

So remember juniors, besides googling and problem solving, the most important skill to master in team-based dev envs is COMMUNICATION. You need to fucking be part of the team or you’re out, no matter how good you are technically. If that’s too hard, either this is the wrong line of work for you or you need to just go solo. It’s that simple, boys, girls, and everyone else on the spectrum.

if(obj == value) {
stuff;
}
Is for boys,
Arrays.asList(obj).filter(o -> o == value).forEach(o -> stuff);
Is for men

her: I like bad boys
me, a golden retriever: this date is over

Thanks for the prezzies boys!!

Colleague: "Hey, how do you scan the document from the printer to my laptop?"

"Hey, how can you help me to open the pdf?"

..

Why are devs treated like office boys/girls

Android fan boys: WOW! Android O Dev Preview released! Time for numerous commits.
Apple fan boys: Apple so needs to implement these features in the next update 😂

Epic comment:

1+2+3+4+....infinity = -1/12
SRC: Numberphile

Dear god, id like to file a bug report(see attached video)

An army general is newly stationed in a desert post. On his first day, he calls for a soldier to show him around. While doing this, he notices a camel randomly tied to a tent.

He asks the soldier, “Soldier, why is that camel tied to the tent?”

The soldier looks awkward and answers, “Er, well Sir, as you know there are no women on the base so er, the camel is there for when the men get certain…um…urges”

The general nods in understanding And says, “Well I don’t condone this behaviour, but I suppose I understand”

A few weeks into the post, the general starts feelings these urges himself. He calls for the soldier to bring the camel to his tent. He then goes outside, gets a stool, and has wild animal sex with the camel.

After he’s finished, he climbs confidently off of the stool and sees the soldier staring at him, wide-eyed.

“So” the general says with a grin, “Is that how you boys do it here?”

The soldier answers, still wide-eyed, “No Sir, we usually just ride the camel into the nearby town where the women are”

1984 was quite a year:
- Stallman starts developing GNU
- The first Apple Macintosh hits the stores
- Tetris is invented
- The first Terminator movie premiered
- Dell Computers is founded
- FidoNet is created
- Crack cocaine is invented
- Modern Talking and Bad Boys Blue started making music

Joined the dark side.
Used to think (),{},[] meant the same. Just a type of brackets they said
Started counting at 0
Designer/Developer perspective to every website/app I visit
Rubber ducks were children bath toys
And for the love of LINUS! Stop asking me to hack your bf/gf 's social media accounts.

Alright wish me luck boys and girls, actually started development on my first 'proper' application, building an sms client using the push bullet API for elementary OS...

First time using Vala, first time building something that isn't game or web related in a real world environment...

So when softbank puts billions into some bubble startup that’s “disruptive” and “being a visionary”, but when me and the boys buy some gamestop stock that’s “manipulating the market”? Ffs 🤦

Postpone this one last time!???
The fuck you think you are Windows.

This bitch sent me a email to rename a file. That I didn't name and is getting a attitude.....I am gonna quit today guys. Its fucking live boys.

Let me introduce you to sys. admin + network admin + teacher at our school... She gave us "materials" to study for our school-leaving exams (called matura here - wiki that shit) so I looked at it and just had to comment everything that's wrong (and that's only the first paragraph)...

Apart from making utterly useless documents she also likes to think she is the best in the world and what she says is right and everyone is wrong. Networks that she builds crash 8 times a month, she can't install proper drivers and believes that open source and GNU/Linux is evil. (She also lives by herself, is around 48 years old, is a lesbian(not that it is a bad thing - just for context) and got one brilliant teacher who actually knew what she was saying and doing fired because she broke up with her)

Thinking about it - no wonder my classmates are all so confused and stressed... she can't teach and says bullshit like printers work with the RGB color space and when confronted she would shout that there are no printers that use CMYK, she has never seen one so they do not exist. (only to proceed changing CMYK ink cartridges in the printer)... I mean it's good for me because I get to teach pretty girls programming and informatics but I am sorry for the boys... Unfortunately I don't have the patience to teach someone programming and informatics unless they are a girl and I see a chance to evaluate that person's qualities to be a girlfriend.

And this boys and girls,
Is how you start doing less work - apparently.

GitHub
Welcome to GitHub Copilot Technical Preview!

We’re thrilled to invite you to start testing GitHub Copilot. Your feedback will help us make it even better.

😎

Updated to iOS 12.1.2 (sleazy release 2) after previously getting fucked up the ass by iOS 12.1.2 first release. Yes boys and girls, they tried to cover up their latest fuckup by re-releasing the same release with a modification.

The first time I updated, it knocks my Apple ID out on all my Apple devices when I upgrade my iPhone to 12.1.2. Mother fuckers... gotta log back in for every device, iPads, iPhones, Apple TVs, Macs. And for each service iTunes Store, Messages, FaceTime on each device supporting. Oh yea, it knocks out my Wi-Fi calling and I have to reestablish that too. Then to really ice me, it knocks out my HomeKit system as the Apple ID is knocked out on the Apple TV.

Now after updating just my iPhone to the second 12.1.2 "sleaze release", the thing knocks all my devices out again.

Apple has taken away that which I loved; impeccable engineering and design that could be used as the model for an entire industry. The industry guru. (teacher, leader) Apple has become the new Microsoft.

October 5, 2011, the day Apple died.

lord knows I have missed devrant. my dad dragged me away on business. the hardest part was parting with my PC. I felt it.........

we buy cashew nuts and have them exported for this random Chinese lady. tried discussing about computers to the village boys but none of them understand anything. everyone is surprised I have a whole computer to myself at home, most have never seen any and just nod their heads like they understand 😂😂😂.
my dad wants me to be a produce exporter I keep hearing things like "there's a lot of money here, if you want to start on your own I'll support you". but then it's hard for him to drop a penny so I can buy a proper PC that is used(I just needed something efficient). I kinda feel like this struggle will make my success story much more interesting but then, what if I dont succeed?

I is sad.

To Mac fan boys... Suck it. In the time I've had 1 BSOD on Windows 10 I've had 7 kernel panic on Mac is x at work. And the MBP is newer.

I'm going through my Udemy courses for the hell of it and see if I might even learn some things, started a course I knew would start of way too basic but Jesus Christ, 7 lectures for doing basic player movement and animation... Strap in boys, it's going to be a long ride

so I asked a question on linus tech tips discord channel that wasn't GPU related and the whole chat went quiet.

I mean, it's a tech channel are GPUs the only thing boys talk about now?

the new dicksize contest? lol

TL;DR: if you are using using react native, use uglify-es@3.2.2, any newer version might break your project

I wonder how many react native projects the boys at Mishoo fucked up, mine included.

I spent 5 work days to find an unrelated issue on RN's git which had the solution to my issue in the comments which was totally different from what was being presented in the issue.

Fucking aye.

I love javascript, but packaging really is its downfall.

These bad boys finally came after one and a half month

Some parents say it is toy guns that make boys warlike. But give a boy a rubber duck and he will seize its neck like the butt of a pistol and shout 'Bang!'

Started out as an intern at my current employer, after a few months they made me create an invoicing system...

I should have said no.

I've had a lot of bugs with it in the past, but the data-loss one has been because I send a SOAP call to our (third party) accounting system and only if I get an ERROR do I log it....

Apparently, when you put line 1 before line 0, you get a warning, but no data is processed...

Had to write a script that updated 4 months of invoice data in one go, without errors, took me a fucking week...

Lesson learnt boys and girls, never let an intern make the fucking invoicing system!

Starting to work with merge requests, unit testing, a shitload of different environments, Docker, Jira and stuff like that can be overwhelming for the first time, but it sure feels good to finally sit in the table with the big boys

Legit comments on a Facebook Hacker cup solutions post. Like wtf ?

I'm trying to convince my dad to switch to the Linux. Everyday he complains about his laptop being slow (although it has pretty much same specs like my laptop), the forced updates on Windows 10, how long it takes to load programs and stuff. He only uses Opera and LibreOffice for work, he doesn't have iPhone so he's not locked by iTunes. Perfect case study!

Yet every time I tell him that Linux doesn't force updates on you, runs faster and has all the software he needs, he says that "he's not a programer like I am". Then I reply to him "and that's a thing! Linux Mint for example doesn't even require to open terminal" (plus few years back he wanted to try it out)...

Any tips boys and girls? Should I give up or not? I mean, forcing the change will not do, but I also don't want to hear complains about Windows every day.

I am so much into technology and also play CSGO frequently, that sometimes I get a dual image when someone says CACHE.

Happy new year boys and girls.
Let’s hope the new one is not gonna be as fucked up
as the last one.

It's one of these "damn it feels good to be a devster" in the style of Geto Boys

Loop in real life

That moment when you hire someone for a small part of the protect and they suggest you to re-write the entire project using a different language/framework.

I know this is supposed to be in bossRant. But hey not all bosses aren't developers.

Post a rant and apologize cause he's using windows. What the heck is wrong with people here ? This trend is so annoying. Stop it you sheeps you have no reasons to love or hate any OS just following others to look cool. It's not cool unless you're in middle school. And those same guys mock apple fan boys the truth is you're no different. "Yours is shit coz mine iz z best".

but i can only imagen it

When the big boys make a mistake...
Me: Is it a new style?

Make CS introductory courses introduce more. Last year I took one in my uni to check out how was formal education in programming. They took an entire semester to teach what I learnt in about a week (about 2 hours a day of dedicated learning). They only taught python, a language you can pick up in about 6 hours of learning. To give you a sense of how slow this course was, they took TWO weeks to teach how lists work. This are university level courses in an institution that pretends to be the best in the country. Fuck that shit, they are incompetent as fuck and treat their kids as 5yo boys.