Near near 😂😉

This is why I leave bugs name as features 😉😉😉😝

Got a couple laughs at an interview for the software listed in my resume:

"Sublime Text 3 (unregistered)"

😉

#Gitlab database 😀😀😉

She: I like people who takes risks.
He : I develop in a prod server.
She: My place or you place? 😉

Me: **posts 🔥rant**
Me: **gets flood of devRant notifs**
Coworker: "What push API are you testing?"

😉

haha😂😂😃😉

Got a great boss!!;

Me: Hey, do we have a corporate GitHub account?
Boss: *excitedly* do we need it? We'll get it!
Me: uhh, yeah, we need it 😉

Don't care he doesn't know what it is, got his trust to get all the right tools!

Client wants a beautiful webpage ASAP.

I just discovered the perfect CSS that will magically fix all of their problems:

body {
display : none ! important;
}

The best part is that its mobile friendly by default.

After all,

Simplicity is key 😉

[Devart No. 4]
Title: "Northern Ranting "

🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁
😉 Greetings to the Canadian Devs 😉
🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁 🍁

This made me chuckle 😂 but seriously, ask that girl out 😉

#10yearchallenge

Collegue: hrrrrrrrrrrrrr *mumbles something*
Me: Rawrrrrrrrrr (the sexual'ish kind)
Collegue: Hmmm what?
Me: Miaaaaaaauwwwww 😏😉
Collegue: Duuuus.... (English something like "sooo...."
Me: x x x x ("kisses") 😏 *😘*

(I know I can do this with him for the record)

That is the question 😉

When you are deep into coding😉😉

😉😉👍

My programming buddy! 😉

Don't worry Jeff, that's for the best 😉

Got fed up with Wix adverts on Facebook so I hid it. It then asked me why, so, as a Frontend Developer, I said Wix is offensive to me.

Tell me I'm wrong! 😉

😂😌😉

Best thing about devRant is that if I rant here, I don't need to look like a jaded sociopath on Facebook any more. 😉

What an interesting CAPTCHA...
I hope they parse their input right 😉

DevRant has more reviews on Android compared to iOS.

Well, yeah... Java devs are always bitching about something 😉

Friend: Hi! Can you create a car rental website for me?
Me: hmmm... yeah, we need to define some..
Friend: I will pay you in beer! 😉
Me: We need to define how you want to die.

Why some people try to ignore the fact that programming is a fucking job?

The new version of the (unofficial) client for Windows 10 mobile is now available! 😁

devRant unofficial (previously devFeed) has been updated to v1.0.0.0 and came out of beta! Over 40 changes since v0.9.10.0 beta.

For those who think that no one uses Windows 10 mobile, the latest version has been downloaded 460+ times! 😉

f
fa
fac
face
*backspace*
devrant.io
😉

For the small mistakes 😉

Joke of my life...😂😉😉

This coffee is looking at me funny...

!dev && !rant

So... We bought a house! First Day, moved in, so exciting.

Just wanted to share 😉

When asked "What's your current salary?"
Always tell them your expected new salary 😉

"You can't do everything using PHP"

Well that's where u are wrong kiddo!😉

Sorry World😉
That's the one thing ever baby coder greets!

root@gf # date; mv gf $HOME; watch movies; touch; split; finger; unzip; fsck; touch; fsck; yes; yes; fallocate -l20M "cream"; zip; sleep

Happy Valentine's Day everyone 😉

If you let me use your WiFi, I feel bad for you son.
I can see your 99 problems, and porn is definitely one!

😉😂😂😂😂

I forgot what it felt like to not be the domain expert in a thing. 😅 Have to learn a ton of new things for work, which is great, but I feel guilty for being so slow. SO SLOW.

I know it’s normal, I’m just…. Getting used to it. 😉

Anyway, here’s a cat.

This is how you combat the EU law.
You are welcome 😉

😀😊😊😉😉😂😂

Little did she know, I removed the stop condition intentionally 😉

theNox.age++

I wanted to screenshot some of the birthday wishes that were printed for me on the discord server early this morning but they're spread too much, thanks anyway! That was very cute of you all. Only people from devRant actually bothered to wish me a Happy Birthday this early (maybe I influenced it a little bit ... 😂) But it's true
Everyone remember that ThatDude's Birthday is on January 28th 😉

After the face reveal and the hand reveal... Let's do something spicier! 😉

Guys, post a pic of your "private member"...
Gals, post a pic of your "closure"... If you know what I mean 😏

Mine's in the comments

I think this might be too much to handle for a js newbie 😉

Inspired by "Standup comedy on spreadsheet" created the following in python ft MrRobot 😉. The zoomed in vs the zoomed out pic. Thus screens are just a spreadsheet of rgb colors.. 😃

Our PM found a contractor, results as expected..

Contractor: "The file you supplied is corrupt, some areas are greyed out and damaged"
Me: "😐, do you mean the comments?"
Contractor: "I'm not sure what you mean 'the comments'"
Me: "Does the file work as expected?"
Contractor: "Yes"
Me: "Strange! I'll have a chat with our PM and get this issue resolved right away 😉"

...

if(!contractor) {
return Promise.resolve()
}

Frankly if your a dev that doesn't push yourself. I wont take you seriously.

Experience levels range greatly! You have to be mindful of that to.

I push myself with every project looking for better ways to do things

Doesn't mean you can't have fun whilst you do it 😉

I am a back end developer who is forced to fix angularjs problems because we don't have people. Literally copy/paste and wild guessing. Am I a full stack developer now?!?!
.
.
.
.
.
No, I am a back end developer who can hack front end together if somebody else started it.😉😉

What if Donald Trump (or Drumpf :|) was a developer

"I will make PHP GREAT again"

"I will KICK OUT all NODEJS developers from the office premises"

"I will install a FIREWALL in my system so my colleagues cant access anything "
But sir this is not how it works, besides its very impractical
"And my colleagues will PAY for it"

😉😁😁

Date a programmer..😉😉😉

If you know what I mean 😉 also my birth date lol

Pro tip: never try to convert the date (formatted as "yyMMddHHmm") in an int32.
It will stop working in 2022. 😉

I just found out I accidentally invented the "2022 bug" two years ago.

Wonder if they programmed the buttons to be that weird layout, if not (If someone here would get it) we should be able to overwrite it (not by changing the keycaps) 😅😉

JavaScript.. FTW😉😎

Broke my laptops sticker virginity 😉

Tired of my coding Job. Want to become a house husband 😅😉

Happy Xmas to everyone in this great community!!!

🎄🎄I hope Santa brings you lots of patience for the future bugs of 2017 😉

When the impostor syndrome hits me, I try to remember my achievements :
- I won a national coding contest when I was 18,
- I made and still maintain a complex app for 15 years, still actively used,
- I cannot count the number of languages I know; too many of them...

Not bragging here, btw. It's just important to actually enumerate your achievements.
If you get hit by the IS, just remember what you did 😉.

Seriously? There isn't a "no pants" option? Seriously? come on @dfox, we all know how stuff really gets done 😉

Programming a Discord bot in Javascript and just ran it and said, "Hi, NoVegBot" in the chat. It said, "Hi, dad!" back! (Totally didn't program it to say that 😉) That moment when you put life and personality into something you code.

Handwriting recognition task in CrowdSource app by Google. 😂😉

Everyone's always so afraid of the terminal... I mean, I'm just about to run sass watch 😉

Testing for equality
😀😁

Who won 😉

Right ? 😉

A motto for programmers who wanna think out of the box:

1. Fuck the system
2. Elevate
3. And fuck the rest 😉

Should we rescue them? 😉

Is it creepy when Google sends a notif saying, "We need some quick human help! 😉"

😐

A couple of years ago, I filled my boss office with balloons. Probably 300 of them and the best part was he had a fobia of balloons and couldn't work all day in the office 😉

!!inspiration to rant

To all people who feel lonely at smoochentinesday: 😘
Get your most EPIC, FUCKED UP or IMPRESSIVE dev-related story out and rant it on here!

The comments will help you to get over it, you poor, lonely, grievy flower. 😉

Happy valentines-slay!

Same days you just need a duck.

Me: map.get(record.Id)

Code: null

Me: no, map.get(record.id)

Code: null

Me: let's grab this record from the map

Code: null

Me: what the flying fuck, take this fucking ID from this fucking RECORD and find it in THIS god forsaken map.

Code: null

Me:.......

Code: 😉

Duck: did it occur to you the ID exists only AFTER the map is created.

Me: you fucking wha..... oh I'm a dick head.

Me. Everyday. I was actually fired for “unprofessional conduct.” Apparently screaming fuck at everyone and telling them to get fucked when they’re being stupid isn’t professional.

I like to think of my behavior as “informal.” 😉

Stackoverflow down for maintenance ⛑

I guess I'm screwed then

😂😂😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏😏😏😏😉😉😜

😉😉😉😉😉😉

Stackoverflow is down! Well shit might aswell all go home 😉😅

Dev pickup lines:

Hey girl, I may not know your namespace but if you let me cin it'll turn you cout😉

Comment your best

My second shipment of stickers for my Development laptop have arrived!

Either have no stickers, or enough to represent you 😉

The best estimations are the team based estimations. Do a planning poker, but don't agree on the average or median, just sum up all the estimations! 😉

Thanks windows 😉
I can free ~4TB on my ~32GB drive 😂😂 I astonished how much crap of this OS can be on such a small plate 👌😂

I can't wait for graphene processors..
300ghz processors ... Damn 😉

Try this... If you can😉

"It's not a bug, it's a feature 😉"

Boss : Did you finish the service app?
Me: Nope, sir you told us to complete the immediate relief website.
Boss: Ok. Did u complete that?
Me: Nope, when it was half you told us to complete the clients web app?
Boss: Oh god. So is that over?
Me: Unfortunately, no sir a month more and we can present the project estimation report if we are free😁😉

Did a code test at an interview, had to aggregate data from a db. They stored cities with population count and users referenced cities.. 6 cities had a higher user count than population 🤔

They were a little taken back and suggested the population data must be outdated 😉.. it got a bit awkward

Coworker: Now you have "Windows" of opportunity to use Linux.
Me: 😑😒 wipe that smirk off your face.
CW: 😉

Intellij, Android Studio, PyCharm, ...
Because it looks the best for a full IDE (editors are another topic 😉). Especially with Kotlin:

Remember to always implement a backup solution if the first one fails.
Don’t break the experience for the user. 😉

My worst bad practice:

Saving my Linux Root SSH Keys on a Cloud Storage company.

Have them there, so I wont loose them ever. I password protected them, but you never know what the NSA/FBI/CIA can do 😉

Me in the Gym 😃😉😀

weights = [12.5, 15, 17.5, 22.5]
sets = 0
while (sets <2):
for i in weights:
print(i)
print("Rest")
sets = sets + 1

And people say keep your work at office.

That feeling when lead dev hid a couple of really secret bugs for you, and then left for vacation... *cough* @BinaryProvider 😉

Dear new devs/me five years ago:
Practice the 30 second rule-- Whatever brilliant thing that your about to say, just think on it for minimum of 30 seconds. Is it still a brilliant idea? Then share. Else trash it 😉

Sorry mate 😉 can't get away with saying you use Dreamweaver and not expect some evil banter 😈 I mean it's nearly as bad as saying java is javascript

Friday funday.... let’s play, APs 😉

This is where the magic happens 😉

That's how it works 😉

Just copy the schematic by hand when you have time instead of taking an image of it.

Did it, then ajusted the image with gimp and printed it as document. Thats how you waste time... or learn gimp, depending on the viewpoint. 😉

Someone else likes me the time the whole of Linux.😉 To much love... To much

Just updated devRant and out of curiosity scrolled down to look at the recommended apps - wtf
I'm not depressed and I know English already?
Btw update looks nice 😉

If you all try one of these when you coding there will be less rant here 😉

The layout for my little side project was working fine in IE last week. Made some server side additions over the weekend and now the layout is broken... in IE only. Guess who's putting in a user-agent redirect to a "Works best in Chrome or Firefox" page? 😉

What were your #FirstSevenLanguages? Mine were:
- C++ 😮
- Python 😊
- Ruby 😉
- Java 🙃
- PHP (ugh that was painful) 😢
- Javascript 😍
- Go 🤔

For all those who post pictures of their screen taken with phone camera (and we all know how crappy that usually looks), there is something called Snipping Tool! As simple as it gets.. Use it ✂😉

Spent most of the day adding cute stuff to 404 and 5xx error pages..

Now to test user feedback 😉

2 recruiters for the same joblisting...
Lets see who has the best bluff 😋🤔😉

Don't tell sql developers to carry furniture, they drop tables 😉😊😛

Sometimes I do same but I love to do this again and again because it teaches me programming knowledge and creativity is endless 😉

Client: We are in a tight budget, but you'll get a lot of exposure
Me: NO! I have enough exposure on my camera.. 😉😜

Friendly reminder 😉

Damn that's a lot of hours every day. He/she has top 1 on Wakatime leaderboards.

Good job, whoever you are.

(Oh, and guess that a Mac CAN be used as a dev machine 😉)

😉😉😉😅😅

Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.😂😂😉😉😉😉😉

Happy new your to all programmers 😉

Linux doesn't support games and I'm gonna whine about it 😉

I know this is kinda late but it just came in this morning..

With the current codebase I'm working with, it's not that bad of an option...😉

Greetings and so many rants from my trip to Shanghai!!!! 😉

Now that I have a ++, I changed my BG Color so that it looks nice but I think we need a full color picker now.

BTW @dfox any ++ privileges on this? Maybe you could add my Drafts feature 😉😏

🤣🤣😉

I frigging love stickers. Thx @dfox 😉

Check this: what if doctors treated like programmers 😉

Must say, it's lookin' pretty neat 😉

These little thing, called Arduboy, is so awesome ! If you have some money to spend, give it a try 😉

@dfox please make avatar like the attached one, as for the moment I can't decide what to shave - my beard or my moustache 😉

Big data....😉

#include <stdio.h>
int main()
{
printf("Hello DevRant");
return 0;
}

😉

Is that a linux system booting on that console thing? 😉

I tried this on tinder. She was confused and proceeded to un-match me. A !false statement would be to say that I’ve failed at life. 😉

I just got my stickers in the mail... looking very elegant on my computer. I can't wait to show off at work 😍
Thanks for everything @dfox and @trogus, and thanks to all the devRanters 😉

What an awesome navigation bar 🤗 please navigate me to site `-1` 😂😂 and then making a drawback 'n' fail with a server error page 👌😉

Sometimes I don't know if it's me or the IDE does all the work 😉

What I learned from browsing devRant 😉

1 89 36
Decode it!! 😉😁
Hint given below 👇

How to solve a program😉😉😉😉

So how many programmers it take to screw in a lightbulb?

- None

( Lightbulb is a class which got method screw(), so it can screw itself 😉 )

In other news....
I can now afford a birdie on my shoulder 😉💗

This has been an interesting week! In my first management position, my first person to hire as a senior frontend developer has been approved!

Also made some killer API's this week! Show me the love!

The hunt is on! Heading to two meetups in Sydney next week 😉

Last monday I started using a mechanical keyboard at my workplace and now the ones who are in my same room probably want to kill me...! 😉

WOOH!!!!! AFTER 3-4MONTHS, I HAVE REGAINED **INBOX ZERO**

...AND A WHOLE LOT OF TIME!

though my reading list is still just as large, but now I don't know what I've missed.... unless I really want to.... and therefore no longer have the desire to read everything 😀

Probably also need to add a time decay and weighting algorithm... just like devRant's 😉

Aced the interview
Did not forget bag this time 😂😉

Weirdest thing I should be the most stressed I've ever been 🤔, my work load is insane right now

I am getting paid well for it 😏

But honestly I'm more at peace then I ever have been 😉

I love my job - remember these times

God!

Where in a phone would you find one!

😉

me : my code is the best

tester : 😉 now we see

Who all use 8.8.8.8 and 8.8.4.4 as their DNS servers 😉

Have U seen this cartoon ?
I mean Dexter's laboratory
Isn't it just cool? 😉😂

Thank God,
I haven't had any incompetent co-worker yet 😉

Google assistant is better than siri ....
Beleive me 😉

Stackoveflow has been my saviour in this journey. Who else been through this with me 😉

this is why I'm going to use Linux and code Python 😤

still like Microsoft tho 😂😉

Emergancy carepackage for tough dev days.
- Coffee
- Music
- Dank memes
- And of course: Devrant, to Dev vent my frustration. 😉

@dfox suggestion, when I'm in the "Top Rants" section, can it be able to swipe left or right to change the tabs Day, Week, Month, All. It would be more efficient to see other rants 😉

Suggestions for swag store 😉

YES!! I can die happy now. 😉😁

if you want be a good programmer then try to find a solution for a problem and not an alternative😉

!rant
Restarted #100daysofcode.
Gonna finish this time no matter what 💪✊.
It's the challenge where you do code every day for 100days.
I am not kinda well right now but it's perfect opportunity
I got the time I always wanted for coding
So no excuses anymore.
Hope you guys also having some adventures​ coding time 😉😂

- finish mEMeOs
- learn about cryptography and finish dogecrypt
- finish translation iteration and get it to 2500 unique visitors on awstats
- make a good, solid android app
- tell people i know python (i dont😉)

I guess that’s it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I kinda wish there were more…

Maybe people have not been around a long time here. But this JS bashing has been going on for half a decade. I honestly don't care about the merits of the language. It does what I need it to for my work. If I need more performance I drop to the C++ anyway. I like a lot of the functionality especially for arrays/lists. I love the ... operator for dynamic lists. It is very useful in the my GUI work. As a scripting language it is pretty nice.

But know this, the bashings will continue until morale improves...

A house.. or lego star destroyer..😝😆

Joke aside, I'd rewrite current project from scratch to get rid of all the automation and IE dependancies and make it cross browser and all the dead code...and all excess ORMs and especially EFCF..and also make support for db diff than oracle..and no need for ora client installation..

Yeah, I'm a work junky, I have no projects of my own.. one kid is demanding enough of my time.. 😉

After long hours of java programming.😉

one word that can send you anywhere.

it's 'goto'😉😉

I knew AngularJS, just learnt Angular. Realized what typescript is and how amazing it is. I am a .Net guy so creating lambda functions in typescript made me excited lol. It's a little frustrating to write "imports" in every TS file though. Can now add ✔️Angular and ✔️typescript to my resume 😉. Starting with Vue.JS as soon as I am done playing with Angular.

If you start coding in Python3, don't use both tabs and spaces. Just decide for one. It'll save you a good amount of time on bigger projects 😉

typeof rant === "Encouragement"

Never let your self down, try to be your own const in life that know his scope and traits well enough to construct a peacefull life without any uncatched exceptions. Also try to return something to the public, keeping your magic pointers to your private makes it hard to review your glorious source of thoughts. And if it is getting hard try to REST a bit and git some timeout.

😉

not a cable hell 😉

Stories from a Startup #1.1

Picture of the swan in question. 😉 We were going to give it to him as a gag gift on our last day, but opted-out.

Good job Gearbest 😉

Happy new devs 😉

Got them stickers today. This one is right on front 😉 thanks @dfox!

Now all we need is an eye patch to go with those pet birds... 😉

So, this is apparently how you concatenate a list of Strings or should I say cities 😉 (with a delimiter between each element but excluding the last one)

I wish my esteemed colleague at least had decency to hide the fact he copied it from SO 😭

Question: what's wrong with this code❓

Hey folks, how about we create a polyfill for hearts that don't support love 😉

If a girl resolves a bug created by you, marry her 😉

How does one find a gf that can code? 😉

Apple anmiates views so nicely 😉
They have this error for so long now and it irritates me every time...

Which one are you? I always like new line 😉

Going to design a contract for my services it's going to include additional costs for additional changes because with clients the job is never done 😉😉

damn

even hacktoberfest is going woke this year

no more t-shirts

some stupid digital pin probably that can forever spew out CO2 somewhere on some server farm in iceland or something

to be clear, i'm not a climate change denyer. but it stupid shit like this as to why we can't have nice things. all the incentives are backwards. change my mind

would have been the 5th shirt too... 😉

i'll probably print myself one anyway

Just yesterday I fixed the game "Industry Giant 1", so that it can be played on 64bit systems. By updating necessary API changes within the. exe assembly instructions. Then i had to take the last avilable patch for the game (1.35) appart since it only works on the non-gold edition, which resultet in more assemly fixing. This was the most hacky thing i had to do in order to get a game running.

x64dbg saved my weekend. 😉

Question:
Do we have any Ingress players around here? What do you think about the upcoming Ingress Prime? I am somehow excited, but only because I just decided to upgrade my mobile phone some days ago 😉 Now the graphics boost can come. 😁 And I really hope that Niantic does not fuck up everything when they plan to be more entry level friendly in the future.

Resistance FTW!

blah getting drunk again blah blah

What do you want me to say 😉

Working on it now! But I still have to keep it under the wraps 😉 here's a sneak peek though

I want a robot that can do just one thing, just so I can say fuck you to these forms.

Well that, and maybe one other thing but let’s not talk about that😉

You know, like be able to see what cars and signs look like in pictures. Geez, what the hell were you thinking about.

Here's some realy good news for us 😉

I edited my project's github page and changed the background and buttons....
I guess it's time to add css and html mastery to my resume 😉

Yesterday was my first day at Uni and it was amazing. We did just math like for 7 hours and today too. Actually we're gonna be doing it the whole week even on saturday. Finally I can study what I want 💪.
Just wanted to share my excitement with my fellow devs 😉.

Waiting for the day when amazon Alexa would talk to google duplex and Siri trying to get into the convo. 😋😉😉

What would your drag name be?

Mine would be: Ophelia Balls (😉) or "the Dutches"

Whats your 2017 dev plans? 🤔😉

Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.😉🤣

received them yesterday 😊 they're much better than expected 😱☺️ thank you Team devRant 😉

now I'm just wandering what to do with them 🤔 I mean obviously I want to stick them on my laptop but it's 4 years old and it's got its best behind so I was thinking should I wait until I buy a new laptop? 🤔

How do you go on getting "the admin password"? (School, CS teacher)

You're ideas are ofc just thought experimental and won't be used in reality......... 😉

just arrived...... 😉😉😉😉

Happy Nowruz to all persian renters 😉😘

3 min of join. devRant looks familiar 😉

I've come to the conclusion that one of the reasons I enjoy writing code is because I get to use Visual Studio. As a beginner I have no idea how to use most of it, but it makes me feel like a pro! 😉