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Good Morning!, its time for practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!
Todays contestant is a very special one.
*sitcom audience: WHY?*
Glad you asked, you see if you were to look at his linkedin profile, you would see a job title unlike any you've seen before.
*sitcom audience oooooooohhhhhh*
were not talking software developer, engineer, tech lead, designer, CTO, CEO or anything like that, No No our new entrant "G" surpasses all of those with the title ..... "Software extraordinaire".
*sitcom audience laughs hysterically*
I KNOW!, wtf does that even mean! as a previous dev-ranter pointed out does this mean he IS quality code? I'd say he's more like a trash can ... where his code belongs
*ba dum tsssss*
Ok ok, lets get on with the show, heres some reasons why "G" is on the show:
One of G's tasks was to build an analytics gathering library for iOS, similar to google analytics where you track pages and events (we couldn't use google's). G was SO good at this job he implemented 2 features we didn't even ask for:
- If the library was unable to load its config file (for any reason) it would throw an uncatchable system integrity error, crashing the app.
- If anything was passed into any of the functions that wasn't expected (null, empty array etc.) it would crash the app as it was "more efficient" to not do any sanity checks inside the library.
This caused a lot of issues as some of the data needed to come from the clients server. The day we launched the app, within the first 3 hours we had over 40k crash logs and a VERY angry client.
Now, what makes this story important is not the bugs themselves, come on how many times have we all done something stupid? No the issue here was G defended all of this as the right thing to do!
.. and no he wasn't stoned or drunk!
G claimed if he couldn't get the right settings / params he wouldn't be able to track the event and then our CEO wouldn't have our usage data. To which I replied:
"So your solution was to not give the client an app instead? ... which also doesn't give the CEO his data".
He got very angry and asked me "what would you do then?". I offered a solution something like why not have a default tag for "error" or "unknown" where if theres an issue, we send up whatever we have, plus the file name and store it somewhere else. I was told I was being ridiculous as it wasn't built to track anything like that and that would never work ... his solution? ... pull the library out of the app and forget it.
... once again giving everyone no data.
G later moved onto another cross-platform style project. Backend team were particularly unhappy as they got no spec of what needed to be done. All they knew was it was a single endpoint dealing with very complex model. There was no Java classes, super classes, abstract classes or even interfaces, just this huge chunk of mocked data. So myself and the lead sat down with him, and asked where the interfaces for the backend where, or designs / architecture for them etc.
His response, to this day frightens me ... not makes me angry, not bewilders me ... scares the living shit out of me that people like this exist in the world and have successful careers.
G: "hhhmmm, I know how to build an interface, but i've never understood them ... Like lets say I have an interface, what now? how does that help me in any way? I can't physically use it, does it not just use up time building it for no reason?"
us: "... ... how are the backend team suppose to understand the model, its types, integrate it into the other systems?"
G: "Can I not just tell them and they can write it down?"
**
I'll just pause here for a moment, as you'll likely need to read that again out of sheer disbelief
**
I've never seen someone die inside the way the lead did. He started a syllable and his face just dropped, eyes glazed over and he instantly lost all the will to live. He replied:
" wel ............... it doesn't matter ... its not important ... I have to go, good luck with the project"
*killed the screen share and left the room*
now I know you are all dying in suspense to know what happened to that project, I can drop the shocking bombshell that it was in fact cancelled. Thankfully only ~350 man hours were spent on it
... yep, not a typo.
G's crowning achievement however will go down in history. VERY long story short, backend got deployed to the server and EVERYTHING broke. Lead investigated, found mistakes and config issues on every second line, load balancer wasn't even starting up. When asked had this been tested before it was deployed:
G: "Yeah I tested it on my machine, it worked fine"
lead: "... and on the server?"
G: "no, my machine will do the same thing"
lead: "do you have a load balancer and multiple VM's?"
G: "no, but Java is Java"
... and with that its time to end todays episode. Will G be our most incompetent? ... maybe.
Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!31 -
4+ years of programming.
Still have no clue how to make my own regex pattern.
Every single time I need to, I always open 4 cheat sheets and/or stackoverflow.24 -
1. Go to office!
2. Make coffee!!
3. Start computer.
4. Get to wo.."Windows must restart in order to install some updates".
4. 3 hours later => "Working on updates 68% n/ Don't turn off your PC. This will take a while."
4. Fuck this, I'm going home.
I miss Linux...14 -
10-1 AM - 4 of us got drunk.
2-4 AM - 2 hours straight coding, solving big-ass problems
10 AM - Fucking hangover and python code in a java project!4 -
Teaching maths to my niece and instead of 2+2=4, I wrote 2+2==4... someone needs break from coding 😂1
-
Oops, i bought a new one - I dont really know what i wanna do with it - but it was on sale so 😅
#4GB-RAM
15 -
I was told back in the 80's I wouldn't have a calculator every where I go... well, guess what mother fuckers, I don't just have a calculator everywhere I go, but it's a full computer, a supercomputer by 1980's standards, and I literally make a living writing fucking software for it...
dicks.19 -
It's fucking 4:30 am and i have been playing civilization 6 for the last 4 fucking hours. And the worst thing is tommorow(or today..!!?) is fucking monday. I am SCREWED.6
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I just can't learn dance moves, every tutorial is like 1, 2, 3, 4 ... 1, 2, 3, 4 where's the freeken first step?5
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From my work -as an IT consultant in one of the big 4- I can now show you my masterpiece
INSIGHTS FROM THE DAILY LIFE OF A FUNCTIONAL ANALIST IN A BIG 4 -I'M NOT A FUNCTIONAL ANALYST BUT THAT'S WHAT THEY DO-
- 10:30, enter the office. By contract you should be there at 9:00 but nobody gives a shit
- First task of the day: prepare the power point for the client. DURATION: 15 minutes to actually make the powerpoint, 45 minutes to search all the possible synonyms of RESILIENCE BIG DATA AGILE INTELLIGENT AUTOMATION MACHINE LEARNING SHIT PISS CUM, 1 hour to actually present the document.
- 12:30: Sniff the powder left by the chalks on the blackboards. Duration: 30 minutes, that's a lot of chalk you need to snort.
13:00, LUNCH TIME. You get back to work not one minute sooner than 15.00
- 15:00, conference with the HR. You need to carefully analyze the quantity and quality of the farts emitted in the office for 2 hours at least
- 17:00 conference call, a project you were assigned to half a day ago has a server down.
The client sent two managers, three senior Java developers, the CEO, 5 employees -they know logs and mails from the last 5 months line by line-, 4 lawyers and a beheading teacher from ISIS.
On your side there are 3 external ucraininans for the maintenance, successors of the 3 (already dead) developers who put the process in place 4 years ago according to God knows which specifications. They don't understand a word of what is being said.
Then there's the assistant of the assistant of a manager from another project that has nothing to do with this one, a feces officer, a sys admin who is going to watch porn for the whole conference call and won't listen a word, two interns to make up a number and look like you're prepared. Current objective: survive. Duration: 2 hours and a half.
- 19:30, snort some more chalk for half an hour, preparing for the mail in which you explain the associate partner how because of the aforementioned conference call we're going to lose a maintenance contract worth 20 grands per month (and a law proceeding worth a number of dollars you can't even read) and you have no idea how could this happen
- 20:00, timesheet! Compile the weekly report, write what you did and how long did it take for each task. You are allowed to compile 8 hours per day, you worked at least 11 but nobody gives a shit. Duration: 30 minutes
- 20:30, update your consultant! Training course, "tasting cum and presenting its organoleptic properties to a client". Bearing with your job: none at all. Duration: 90 minutes, then there's half an hour of evaluating test where you'll copy the answers from a sheet given to you by a colleague who left 6 months ago.
- 22:30, CHANCE CARD! You have a new mail from the HR: you asked for a refund for a 3$ sandwich, but the receipt isn't there and they realized it with a 9 months delay. You need to find that wicked piece of paper. DURATION: 30 minutes. The receipt most likely doesn't even exist anymore and will be taken directly from your next salary.
- 23:00 you receive a message on Teams. It's the intern. It's very late but you're online and have to answer. There's an exception on a process which have been running for 6 years with no problems and nobody ever touches. The intern doesn't know what to do, but you wrote the specifications for the thing, 6 years ago, and everything MUST run tonight. You are not a technician and have no fucking clue about anyhing at all. 30 minutes to make sure it's something on our side and not on the client side, and in all that the intern is as useful as a confetto to wipe your ass. Once you're sure it's something on our side you need to search for the senior dev who received the maintenance of the project, call him and solve the problem.
It turns out a file in a shared folder nobody ever touches was unreachable 'cause one of your libraries left it open during the last run and Excel shown a warning modal while opening it; your project didn't like this last thing one bit. It takes 90 minutes to find the root of the problem, you solve it by rebooting one of your machines. It's 01:00.
You shower, watch yourself on the mirror and search for the line where your forehead ends and your hair starts. It got a little bit back from yesterday; the change can't be seen with the naked eye but you know it's there.
You cry yourself to sleep. Tomorrow is another day, but it's going to be exactly like today.8 -
I never really used Git or any Source Control before but today I decided yo give it a shot.
IT'S FUCKING AMAZING!!
I fucking love branches!!! I have to change the way an app stores configurations and git makes it incrediblyyy easy without risking fucking up everything in production5 -
how people count
normal people: 1 2 3 4 5 6....
me: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6...
them: wtf u doing, 0 is not included8 -
For fucks sake if I send you a clearly described 5 step install instructions do not start on step 3! Yes you fucking moron instructions labeled 1,2,3,4,5 should be carried out one after the other! Not in random order.
Seriously, how deranged are you that you have never ever encountered a step-by-step instruction before?!
Don't give me that "oh, should I have started with step 1 first? You weren't very clear about that. I think it is a bit too complicated."
Here are some more instructions:
1. Close your PC
2. Donate it to someone with detectable IQ level
3. Go fuck yourself
4. Please die
5. Yes, start with step 15 -
First day of job tomorrow.
Will be working on Angular 4, TS, JS, front end.
Wish me luck!
Also, Any advices?10 -
Me: what's the square root of 5+7(2*4) / 4?
Him: *takes half a second* about 3.74
Intel i7: fucking loser5 -
FUCK
Have you ever worked with people that constantly asks you what to do? People who are in the same spot as you, I mean.
- Hey, you should start debugging this while I finish this menu
+ So what's failing?
- I don't know man, but there's a bug
+ But where?
- You should look for it, I'm trying to link this to the controller
+ How can you not know?
- Do you know?
+ Where should I look for it? Here?
- ...
(One crappy solution after) + Here it is, I'm moving to something else
- ...11 -
Allright, this one begs for a rant.
Me (Linux boi):
0 checkout code
1 update local config file
2 compile
3 deploy locally
4 run
5 use
Coleague (Windows boi):
0 checkout code
1 update local config file
2 compile
3 deploy locally
4 run
-1 "configuration xyz not found in config file"
→ goto #3
After 4 attempts:
ø windows.reboot()
3 deploy locally
4 run
-1 "configuration xyz not found in config file"
3 deploy locally
4 run
5 use
// out of curiosity...
3 deploy locally
4 run
-1 "configuration xyz not found in config file"
NO side actions taken (no configs updated, no code changes made, no nothing. Just simple double-clicking the redeploy script again and again)
Now... How do you objectively explain THAT?
http://weknowmemes.com/2013/01/... IRL :)8 -
Not usually a person to rant about spacing and conventions but this is great.
4 devs, all using IntelliJ. Now IntelliJ auto-changes tabs to spaces which is nice, and GitHub doesn’t really care as long as the spacing is consistent. Now here is the fun part: 2 devs have 4 spaces per tab, 1 has 3 spaces, 1 has 5 spaces.
GitHub merge conflicts everyWHERE.
And yes it isn’t the old 2 vs 4 spaces. It’s 3 vs 4 vs 5 somehow6 -
4 stages of using VIM:
1. Survive
2. Fell Comfortable
3. Feel Better, Stronger, Faster
4. Use Super-powers of VIM6 -
(developer thing)
I am trying to build code from the last 4 or 4:30 hours at office and she message me
She : it's urgent.. call me
Me : me();
(THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID 🙄)4 -
When you realize that you were producing music in 3/4 meter when you actually intended to do in a 4/4 meter.
Arghhhhh
P.S. Also forgot to change the BPM as well15 -
Spent 4 hours trying to fix a problem which fixed in just 4 lines of code.
My wife feels sorry for me.5 -
So I've taken over a project, well, not really taken over, we've been hired to add more functionality to a Wordpress site.
I have never seen such a messy code in my life... variables have mixed languages, indentation is a mix of tabs, 2, 3 and 4 spaces, camelcase, snake case, short names, long names. ' and ", no spaces after commas (gotta save those bytes doode)
Almost like it has been copypasted from everywhere.
I think I said 10-15 hours for it. I think I will spend a lot more time tidying up this code.
Hey, look, 3 index files!!
index.php
index__backup.php
index__backup_2.php
I don't dare to look into the CSS or JS, but I know I have to3 -
I'm having a DAY.
it's like I'm trying to "2+2=4" and hitting "unknown operator =", figure that out, get "22" back, fix that, then math service is down, redeploy math service, wait 30 minutes, that's up, get "out of numbers" exception, turns out a dependency updated and now I have to register what "2" means, fix that, FINALLY get 2+2 to evaluate, I get 5. Figure that out, get 4! 4!!! FINALLY. Push it. Get 55 on the server. Gets 4 on my machine, getting some random 55 from the server.5 -
I am just fed up with spam messages on my Whatsapp/Facebook Wall/even Normal Messages. So from now on, I will be sending this to everyone who tries to spam me, even to those who are about to fucking press that send button to share "Send this to 4 people and image will change colour" shit. Save this image, might help you as well, let's fucking spam those spammers with this!
4 -
4:55: Everything looks good in prod.
4:56: Deploy new feature after all is well in Dev.
4:57: Prod goes to shit!
4:58: Call wife to tell her I'm not coming home at 5.
4:59: Prod looks fine w/o anyone doing anything.
5:00: Leave work.
5:25: Get yelled at by wife for leaving at 5 after telling her I couldn't.3 -
!Rant
My boss just gave me a task "deploy this project today".
1. Made by a junior dev, and I have to take responsibility to upload it in this short time (no blame to jun dev, she's new and need to practice)
2. In a crm that I personally never used before, I need to study it and adapt at least the paths
3. Task was given at 13.48 during lunch pause.
But
But
The best is yet to come
Wait
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ready?
4. He doesn't know the server where to deploy it!
No one knows.
The IT doesn't answer, but still, I have to deploy a project TODAY (2h and 47 minutes left eob).3 -
studying computers at a college were
1/4 aim to become a model
1/4 are trying to become photographers
1/4 don't know what's happening yet
1/4 are actually interested in computers
#indianEducationSystem6 -
Pixel 4 has had to restrict brightness and refresh rate to make up for the smaller battery capacity compared to pixel 3.
So you get a phone advertised as 90hz refresh rate, but does 60 most of the time and only hits 90 when the screen is at a specific brightness.
The max brightness had to be capped at about half of what a similar Samsung can do. Deep inside the kernel there is a disabled high brightness mode, meaning without root access and some hacks, you can’t even get the phone it hit its physical maximum. Leading users to complain about the phone screen being too dark.
What a heap of utter shit.
Source:
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/...2 -
Me: Ahh great I almost finished the university project. One week until deadline. No Problem.
Professor: Oh Please implement this, this and this feature too. Its a little bit tricky but possible.
Can't this guy hand out all the requirements at the start of the semester ???
4 -
Recruiter: company looking for 4+ years of software engineering experience.
Me: I don't have 4+ years of experience.
Recruiter: I think it should be fine.
Me: lol fuck off1 -
What do y’all think about the new Raspberry pi with that 4GB of RAM. Other good improvements too, but that’s what I’m most excited about14
-
RPi 4 is hard to get your hands on it seems.
Really debating buying it though, 4 GB is enticing, but I just don't see a place for it. I have a surplus of machines which are much more powerful and accessible (Display ports - not mini HDMI)
And let's not forget the sub-2GHz clock speed. My desktop goes to 5, and my server isn't far behind. And my laptop isn't far behind that. And my other laptop isn't far behind that. But this new Pi would be far far behind that.
Not to mention the ARM architecture. There have been leaps and bounds made since the Pi first came out in terms of support for ARM (Most certainly fueled by the Android craze) but it still isn't x64, is it?
If I were 13 again and I didn't have all of the toys that I do now, I would be elated at the launch of the Pi 4. But as it stands, I don't see a use for it. Maybe nostalgia.19 -
Tried pomedoro technique copule of time found that this doesn't work for mE. The only things worked is
1) do 4 hours straight
2) take 1 hour break
3) do another 4 hour straight
works much wetter3 -
Smartphone manufacturers these days, imagine how meetings to come up with ideas for new products go about.
Product manager :ok people,what can we do to make our next smartphone 'different'.
Employee 1: let's add more cameras
Employee 2:Let's kill the notch
Employee 3:Let's include the buzzword AI in all of our marketing
Employee 4:Let's put 8Gb of Ram in our phone
Employee 5:Let's just do all of those things and also give it a screen with a ridiculous aspect ratio and unnecessarily high resolution.3 -
Bought an iPhone a few weeks ago, and I’ve already decided that I hate it. Any recommendations on an android phone for ~€200? (used or new)26
-
It finally came! Super excited.
Yes it takes amazing pictures even in the dark and the radar is super cool. Can't wait to dig into what I can do with the radar.
13 -
senior IC role, 4 days/week, 5 hours/day, 6 weeks PTO, 99% remote, flexible hours, pays ~75% (full time) market rate
I am very grateful to have a boss that is enabling this.9 -
For everyone here who already fails at css, I have some bad news for you.
CSS-4 coming to a browser near you!
https://www.w3.org/TR/selectors-4/7 -
Faaaaaakkk.. Fuck GTA and its helicopter missions. 4 frikkin hours to try to get on a helicopter and control it only for a rocket launcher to blow it up in 4 seconds.6
-
mfw
> 1 year into project in React.js with a 10+ members in team
> PM panics over last Apache statement
> PM: "fuck, rewrite it in Angular 4 : /"1 -
!dev
Matrix 4 trailer was such a shit show.
I don’t know why, but I honestly believed that it would not be as bad as it turned out to be. I’m such a stupid prick for believing in it.
FUCK YOU LANA WACHOWSKI. I HATE YOU AND EVERYONE RELATED TO THE PRODUCTION OF THIS CANCEROUS PIECE OF SHIT.12 -
// Stupid JSON
// Tale of back-end ember api from hell
// Background: I'm an android dev attempting to integrate // with an emberjs / rails back-end
slack conversation:
me 3:51pm: @backend-dev: Is there something of in the documentation for the update call on model x? I formed the payload per the docs like so
{
"valueA": true,
"valueB": false
}
and the call returns success 200 but the data isn't being updated when fetching again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:00pm: the model doesn't look updated for the user are you sure you made the call?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:01pm: Pretty sure here's my payload and a screen grab of the successful request in postman <screenshot attached>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:05pm: well i just created a new user on the website and it worked perfectly your code must be wrong
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:07pm: i can test some more to see if i get any different responses
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:15pm: ahhhhhh... I think it's expecting the string "true", not true
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:16: but the fetch call returns the json value as a boolean true/false
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:18pm: thats a feature, the flexible type system allows us to handle all sorts of data transformations. android must be limited and wonky.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me 4:19pm: java is a statically typed language....
// crickets for ten minutes
me 4:30pm: i'll just write a transform on the model when i send an update call to perform toString() on the boolean values
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
backend-dev 4:35: great! told you it wasn't my documentation!
// face palm forever4 -
Fun fact: after iPhone 4’s antennagate (iPhone 4 losing reception when you grip it hard enough) Steve Jobs and Apple didn’t screw people over. They offered free cases that fixed the issue.
6 -
I really hope that the Raspberry Pi 4 is going to have more performance than the models of the "third gen". I would probably use it as a desktop computer when it's just for browsing and chatting, as opposed to my current PC which I'm sure draws a lot of power while idling or having only little to do.5
-
Boooooy symfony has changed a lot since laaaaaaaaast time I used it a long time ago.
Some days ago I finished a little project I built using express and mongo. I want to port it into symfony to see how the newest version (which is 4) fares and I must say. I am really impressed and happy with what I am seeing :D
This sucks because I am going to be dying to use this at work and I know that I am not going to be able to use it unless i act all sneaky and shit4 -
https://thechoiceisyours.whatisthematrix.com/...
Check your time when the video mentions the time.
Well executed.11 -
*not a rant*
For the fans: Mr. Robot s02e04 came out today! Have fun watching.
For who doesn't know Mr. Robot; it's an amazing show and you should probably watch it.10 -
It's about to be 4:20 on 4/20 get ready to run all your scrips now as you cannot have an unexpected token at 4:20 on 4/20, all token is expected then.1
-
Thank God Wikipedia has now a button to snooze the donation request. It annoyed me a lot getting the message while having donated. Won't donate anymore though. They've raped the English language on purpose by accepting "they" as singular pronoun. "their being here" is valid against to them. I won't donate woke misinformation and Merriam Webster, grow some spine68
-
How do you guys arrange apps on iOS /android
I use two arrangement
1. Smart Stack on the left and 4 related apps on right with stack showing the relevant data from one of the 4 apps
15 -
I have to stop refactoring everything. 4 weeks on one of my private projects and I'm still on the same place. But I have refactored the code like 4-5 times now ...2
-
Sometimes I think that getting a degree was the biggest mistake I have ever done.
When professor wants to know why you did the work the way you did and you disagree as polite as you can, he calls you Arogant.. Like what the fuck, if you ask me 4 times why I did not expand the assigned task and I 4 times repeat that I want that shit as abstract as I can get. I already have it 5 times bigger as others god damnit, If you want me to focus on details, ask me to bring a tent..
A little bit of time later another professor assigns you a "Social network for schools"... Like wtf? U want facebook clone for free and in 4 weeks... What is this bullshit? You have mistaken uni for freelancer..
Because fuck you sideways... How dare you to have another classes?
Note for self... Next time open up a hotdog stand..1 -
I needed to rewrite pagination from:
A) 1 ... [3] 4 5 6 ... 13
B) 1 ... [4] 5 6 7 ... 13
To:
A) 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 13
B) 1 ... 3 [4] 5 6 ... 13
And the maths got me a headache3 -
I've gotta create a bidirectional communication protocol to link 2-3 RPis over GPIO. I have between 4-5 pins for TX and 45 for RX, so each directional bus is that wide.
Even better, I have to assume 4 bit bus length unless told otherwise, since 4 to 6 pins on the GPIO are usually used for serial/UART, COM and/or 1-pin communications (for use to get a console, not to throw data down.)
The best part?
Needs to be a Python library.
i wanna die4 -
For those that have the need to compare files and folders often, Beyond Compare 4 is currently 20% off. http://www.scootersoftware.com
-
btw the Boas said I have their full support...
soo what should I ask 4 :
1. yacht
2. heli
3. 51% of the company
4. surrender all your base
5. peace on Venus16 -
Oh my....I thought I was doing a very inteligent thing when I bought my Xiaomi Redmi 4 Prime. Comming from an iPhone 5S. This was a cheaper phone with twice the batery power!
I was feeling it you know? This is the thing!
One year later....dang it! They forgot about the phone?
Great specs. No updates by Xiaomi.
Not even a rant just...sad disapointment!
Late December they said.... Nothing...
Damn!11 -
Yeeehaw,
i finally get rid off that over-the-top dependency on Zend\Config in upwork/phystrix
The Pull-Request is on it's way:
https://github.com/upwork/phystrix/...
After 4 years of "this will take minutes to refactor" and "yeah. I totally agree. Replace Zend\Config with Array Interfaces", someone (in this case me) took finally care of this easy to solve issue :)
I hope it will be merged soon into the master branch -
On March 31st I asked our HR to print off a birthday sign for Ed for April 1st. Which I hung outside Ed's office. I also asked to put Ed's birthday as 4/1 in the electronic bulletin board at work. I was hoping for Ed to see the bulletin board on Monday. He did see this Friday. He knew it was me and was a good sport about it. He kept the birthday sign on his office all day.1
-
Not sure whether to spend 4 hours looking for an implementation through the internet and the source code, or to spend those 4 hours writing the implementation myself 😕😑😪5
-
can't take this sh1t anymore, will start updating my CV today.
I have to steer wheels on this shitty php-related task with testing suites with latest guides written in 2014, code base of that suite got a shitton of changes.
When referring to original documentation and example that is not working and gives me loads of errors, community pricks just saying something like: don't use 6 year old tutorials!!! well, that is the latest I could find, so yeah -> basically go fuck yourself situation!
went alive from 1st part as I managed to make some hacky clusterfuck that works. now i had to switch library that has no documentation at all, has shitton of options and lattest update is like from 3 years ago, library that is connected had some breaking changes lately so to no surprise I can't get this shit to work!
Is whole php ecosystem just made of folks who simply doesn't give a fuck and latest knowledge update they had is like 4 years ago?
ofc I am excluding laravel community in this!2 -
Any advice on a Symfony update to 4.x? It once was a 2.x which I've updated in the past to 3.3 any pitfalls to keep in mind when upgrading to 4.x?4
-
Litterally all the people i talk to about my LG phone and why i don't want or need an iphone. i have an iphone 5s that i use for 1 app - acapella (androids can really goof up the audio/video sync)
made me giggle
https://instagram.com/p/... -
Not a rant!
Anyone who worked with Angular 4 with ngRX 4 interested in lending a helping hand. I an stuck with some error from past 36hrs.
😥14 -
Fuck the AP comp sci test all they give me is a number (1-5) and that's fucking it, how the fuck and I supposed to know what I did wrong.1
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Anyone know any good sources on creating a multi seat system using Ubuntu (or some Linux). I want to have 4 people using 4 monitors, keyboards, and mice. On 1 computer. It’s for a project idea9
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tfw when a library's test are passing but when you implement it, the same library's (dependency) test are failing.
*Raises an issue on GitHub*
MY 4 COMMITS ARE FAILING SINCE LAST 4 HOURS -
The moment when your client gives you a Pi Zero and 4 IR transceivers, tells you it worked on Arduino now writes them a driver that bit-bangs them into 4 TTYs.4
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Exception in thread "main" java.lang.ArrayIndexOutOfBoundsException: 26
at words.main(nightmare.java: 4)1 -
Been forced to use my MacBook Pro with 4/5 years to work today (I'm on client company)...
After 4 hours work was able to run app for the third time...
This day will be looooong3 -
!rant
Preface: As it was unpaid labor I won't count my school-internship in a games resell shop in which I was ordered to "program" a BDSM-Shop with MS Frontpage.
My first paid gig was back in 2006. I got booked to write the website of a new company by friends of the family. The problem was that the gig had to happen ~600km away from my home town. Back in 2006 it was far from common to own a laptop for young folks, which is why I packed my Pentium 4 HT "powerhouse" tower, my 15" TFT monitor, keyboard and mouse into a suitcase and took a bus. I not only had to write the website, but had to do all the Frontend and Design as well and was paid 400€. Hahaha what a deal. They are still using my logo btw.
Anyhow... I was like 17yo and the work experience was more valuable then the money anyways. Plus at the time 400€ weren't a bad payment either. After that it took 2 more years and half a dozen of boring jobs until I started earning money with programming again. I can't understand why I haven't started programming earlier. Especially considering the wage gap between the jobs I did and potential programming jobs. Guess you're always smarter afterwards. -
This was the time when I had Pentium IV with windows 98 brought to my house in early 2000's. In those days games were either pre-installed or were installed by some agent who charged us... So my dad installed two games for me Demon Star and Prince of Persia. For those who dont know POP was initially made for Apple II. I loved those games and they remind me of childhood. Funny but I still have these games in my current desktop. I use it to check if my Nvidia graphic card can handle it 😂.
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!rant
So I decided to collab with a website's maker (who i wont name here) to create something like r/place. (not an exact copy.)
I decided to start by learning their API, and customizing the server later.
I asked the guy for some help, and HOLY SHIT.
Let's start off by this: I had to request a chunk. The response data was in binary. 4 bits meant 1 pixel, so right away, I had to deal with that in my code.
No problem, just decided to use C# instead of JS. (see https://www.devrant.io/rants/547013)
I was finally done after a couple of mental breakdowns, and decided to implement updates.
I needed to use webhooks, and that was completely fine. But when I got "C1FFFF0000CA06" as response (in hex), I seeked some help.
C1 is the operation type: it means that a pixel was updated.
FFFF and 0000 were the chunk coordinates. But remeber: it's a signed integer. Guess what, I had to use Two's compliment. I decided to be a lazy asshole and only check for "00000000" because I was only displaying chunk 0,0.
CA06: This is a weird one. It's 2 bytes, and CA0 contains the X and Y coordinate of the pixel (in the chunk), and 6 contains the new color of the pixel.
I was sent the following code to work with 0xCA06:
color = 0xF & buffer
x = buffer >> 10
y = (buffer >> 4) & 0x3F
So I tried to do it, and it didn't work. I'm not blaming the developer of the server (original dev is reddit) because maybe I screwed up, but which guy will have a night of frustration and debugging?
Me.
P.S.: Dev, if you see this, I'm sorry. This API is way too complicated. I know we need to save bandwith and stuff, but damn.1 -
Just "finished" FF Mobius (Chapter 4).... What a fucking waste of time/4 days... Should've just watched the cutscene videos on YouTube
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Java is the worst shit ever
This works:
int a = 4;
a *= 4.0;
This doesnt:
int a = 4 * 4.0;
:)))))))))))))
Makes sense9 -
Dad come home with a computer from his office that they where going to "throw away"... taught me how to move icons around
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OKAY GUYS I NEED YOU. I have an idea for an app (bet you’ve heard that before haha) and I really want to make it.
I have to learn swift, so online tutorials are my go to (pls recommend material).
However, I’ve never really done backend before, and I’ll need it to make my project (accounts & stuff). Where do I start for swift/iOS backend programming? Do I need to buy a server? Where do I host the stuff?
Pls help8 -
4 Step Plan:
1: Have a new idea
2: Work on it
3: Forget about it a week later
4: Pause project till forever! -
I wonder How people complete the whole computer science in 4 years. For me it feels about 4 decades. Any thoughts about it ?8
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I was a PHP guy most of my career and likes 4 spaces in tabs. Now that I'm a JS guy now I like 2 spaces in tabs and dislikes 4 now lol. It makes coding more compact.
I don't see the reason to use 4 anymore. Do you also like 2 spaces in tabs?15 -
how does one manage to research for about 3/4 of day, for six days straight and not be bored? I'm not interested in the content after I read the same thing 4 times. help.10
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1. New Job/ New project
2. Learns new language/framework
3. Works for a month or so
4. Priorities change
5. endlessly loop from 1 to 4
What do you mean one-page-resume?
1 -
I'm not sure why travis-ci job for node 4 is complaining for something which doesn't exist anymore.
Is it because I'm not using semicolon after 'use strict'? But then it should not work locally and in other travis-ci jobs as well.
https://travis-ci.org/restify/...
https://github.com/node-muneem/...1 -
if (rant || disappointment) {
timeSinceLastOpenedTheWhatsApp = 4 weeks;
noOfMsgReceivedInLast1Week =0;
}1 -
Any good tuto sharing about dispatch queue on swift 4? Have already googled the subject, but any real experience will be greatly appreciated.
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Let me show you something:
let a=[
1-3,
5-35,
5*7,
77/4
,4%5,
7==7,
6_2,
3&&3,
4&&2,
"f"&&"c"
]
document.write(a)
actually, it works...12 -
There are two kinds of people in this world. The ones who've listened "Tower 4" podcast and the ones who don't have. It's too cool. But just listened last episode, have to wait a month for new one. Six are available now.
Tower 4 is just a story, but it's very well made. It's about a guy that becomes firewatch living in tower 4 and only has the girl in tower 3 to talk to. Much nice dialogue. There exists a game, much like it.
What are other nice story podcasts?9 -
Anyone touched sims 4 modding in python and this resource-xml stuff?
How the hell do get people into that and know what they have to do?
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