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Typical paranoia's when developing a website
- what if the user has JS turned off ?
- what if he is using the site without a monitor ?
- what if the user's electricity is off ?
- what if there's no user ?12 -
Windows, you fucking idiot! You scheduled that damn update and now you have the balls to ask me what happened?!
7 -
Enough of this!!! I need a break.
*Gets up partially from chair*
*Looks back at the code, gets an idea*
*Sits down again for couple of hours*5 -
For fuck's sake,if you are teaching "Machine Learning For Developers",you don't have to waste a whole hour explaining what the fuck a variable is or what is an if statement.Developers know what that is....aaargh.Off to sleep.13
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Storytime!
Manager: Hey fullstackchris, the maps widget on our app stopped working recently...
Dev: (Skeptical, little did he know) Sigh... probably didn't raise quota or something stupid... Logs on to google cloud console to check it out...
Google Dashboard: Your bill.... $5,197 (!!!!!!) Payment method declined (you think?!)
Dev: 😱 WTF!?!?!! (Calls managers) Uh, we have HUGE problem, charges for $5000+ in our google account, did you guys remove the quota limits or not see any limit reached warnings!?
Managers: Uh, we didn't even know that an API could cost money, besides, we never check that email account!
Dev: 🤦♂️ yeah obviously you get charged, especially when there have literally been millions of requests. Anyway, the bigger question is where or how our key got leaked. Somewhat started hammering one of the google APIs with one of our keys (Proceeds to hunt for usages of said API key in the codebase)
Dev: (sweating 😰) did I expose an API key somewhere? Man, I hope it's not my fault...
Terminal: grep results in, CMS codebase!
Dev: ah, what do we have here, app.config, seems fine.... wait, why did they expose it to a PUBLIC endpoint?!
Long story short:
The previous consulting goons put our Angular CMS JSON config on a publicly accessible endpoint.
WITH A GOOGLE MAPS API KEY.
JUST CHILLING IN PLAINTEXT.
Though I'm relieved it wasn't my fault, my faith in humanity is still somewhat diminished. 🤷♂️
Oh, and it's only Monday. 😎
Cheers!11 -
So today , a company phoned me for a job I applied in Jobstreet. So the conversation goes like this.
Com " Do you have any experience in Android studio? "
Me : " Yes . I develop android application, it is compulsory to know actually."
Com :" ok... Do you have experience android SDK?"
Me : " I believe you are referring to the Android studio, yes."
Com :" do you have experience in Android programming"?
Me :" Yes. I do android application for both native and hybrid. As for hybrid, I use flutter."
Com :" Ok...but I was asking about android."
Me :*explaining what I just said *
Com: " you no understand! We need android programmer! Not native or flutter programmer!"
Me *explaining what native and hybrid is (in simple terms)
Com : " it is ok then.. our company prefer those who can develop android app , not native programmer or anything flutter programmer.
"
(Btw , I transcript how exactly that person talk to me)
My question to this person is.... WHAT THE F*** IS THIS? WANT AN ANDROID DEVELOPER BUT NOT NATIVE OR "FLUTTER"? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN ? IF ANDROID IS NOT WRITTEN IN NATIVE OR HYBRID THEN WHAT YOU EXPECT ME TO USE THEN? USING ASSEMBLY X64?14 -
Co-worker Pranks #281: Write a program to capture keyboard input and instead output "fucking" after every "the" they type.
i.e. Can you push the fucking most recent commits
Do you want the fucking paperwork today, bossman
I can't do that today, the fucking coffee machine is not working5 -
Don't know what is worst: that they offer to teach Visual Basic on 2018, or that they "invented" Visual Java.
Seriously?
16 -
Java is to JavaScript
: what Car is to Carpet
: what Swift is to Suzuki Swift
: what Perl is to a Pearl
: what Ruby is to a Ruby Gemstone
: what Go is to Go Home
: what Shell is to Sea Shell
: what Bash is to Big Bash
: what Alice is to Alice in wonderland
: what Rust is to Rusty Theron
: what Awk is to your Awkward cousin
: what Dart is to Darts
: what Julia is to Julia Roberts
: what Korn is to Corn
: what Maple is to Syrup
: what Caml is to a Camel
: what CHILL is to Netflix
: what Crack is to Crack
: what Curl is to Curls
: what Hugo is to Boss
To be continued..
Have a joke? Say it in comments
Criteria : programming language on left , analog on right15 -
when your boss tells you they hired you just to save money, and the job should actually be done by a team of intermediate/senior devs, but they thought one junior dev could do it in the same time span
4 -
I thought, maybe, MAYBE I’ll meet a better class mate for uni group project since I’m at master degree instead of bachelor...
WELL FUCK, there is still people who played dead when I tried to chat them. Fuck group project, fuck you if you read this, I know you’re here sometimes14 -
"I need you to teach me how to code, so people can't fool me around when they start to speak about apps"
-My boss6 -
Vsauce has made all of its Mindfield content free on youtube...
Watched the episode about moral licensing
TL;DR; If you do something very good you tend to compensate and give yourself a free pass to do not so good
It happens to me in software when I accomplish something really fast, like a bumpy process that is undefined and in most cases should take X amount of time, but due to luck + experience + right mindset I get it done like 5 times faster...
I end up wasting the other parts of the time feeling good about myself and exploring google maps and writing rants here...4 -
!rant Pulled an accidental all-nighter on Friday because I started crocheting a blanket for the cats and lost track of time. I am becoming a crocheting fiend!
11 -
We recently signed a huge deal with a big, very known vendor. I asked if they had a web interface to the software. Of course, they said, and gave us a link. I clicked the link and was asked to install java. Turns out the web version is just the desktop version wrapped in a Java applet. The applet didn't do well with openjdk, so they asked me to file a support ticket. They gave me another link. The service desk required shockwave flash.6
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Me: Listen dude, the code worked perfectly and all the test cases passed so I'm done here.
Also me: What is this? What the fuck is this? Why does this work? What witchcraft is this?
*Screams internally*1 -
I was added on LinkedIn by a person who is:
Strategic Thinker & Solution Architect & Innovation Thinker & Data Scientist & CORE Banking & Digital Transformation & AGM & CIO
HOW FUCKING LUCKY I AM TO BE ADDED BY THIS TYPE OF PEOPLE -.-7 -
So, my wife is in the hospital with two of the kids for an annual checkup. Should be nothing to worry about but still it's stressful and I want to be there.
I'd booked the day off (until the end of the week) and last week I got told, you've taken too many holidays, just the Friday is approved.
Ok, fine, I'll do some extra hours work from home and be there for the appointment. But fuck no, they schedule an "important" client meeting this morning and I'm required to attend.
TWO FUCKING HOURS and I contributed a sum total of 2 sentences which could have been filled in just as well by the other developer on the call
Just another reason I'm happy to be interviewing at other companies.6 -
Hello, it's 2018, and your alternative software to make presentations, namely, Prezi Next, takes a lovely 1.7 Gb of ram, and randomly decides to take 40% of your CPU constantly whenever it wants.
I feel pillaged. Plus the software is crappy as hell.14 -
Friend: "what is the answer to this question?"
Me: "${answer}"
Friend: "yes, what is the answer?"
Me: "my bad"
Me: `${answer} is the answer`
Friend: "thanks man" -
Looking at the number of JavaScript frameworks that are popping up these days..
a day will come, when human race will get extinct and only JS frameworks will survive like cockroaches..!!3 -
Just added Kotlin plugin to my new android project and what do you know, CPU went to 100% of usage.
Aaand the winner is: Fucking Android Studio!
19 -
Something I probably shouldn't talk about:
One of the projects at work has a specific path you can visit. The """security""" is that nobody should know the path. But I can guaran-fucking-tee you it's not difficult to guess.
On this page, ***without a login***, you can view some user information. Well, you can view all of it, but only certain fields.
And if you perform a specific action on this page, you can get their password, plaintext.
This project is not mine. But learning all of this made me super uneasy. I had to share it.14 -
What if I've been wrong all the time?
What if everyone else is correct and I'm the one who is raging all the time?
What if I'm annoying you everyone?
What if I'm a very bad developer that everyone hates?
*social anxiety intensifies*4 -
What is this ?
U call this wireless security??
Anyway what is the best way of securing hotspots in the airports , hotels , ... ?
10 -
What my professor teaches:
This is a mouse and this is a keyboard
What he asks in exams:
How do you use this particular keyboard and this mouse to create a potato?
That is pretty much what always happened.. Even in theoretical exams.. :|5 -
What the hell @Apple
I know autocorrect / suggestions is getting worse every day but this doesn’t even remotely come close ☠️
2 -
Manager: Here's the design for the next feature, we're ready to hand it over to the consultant
FullStackClown: Uh... okay... is it spec'd out with requirements?
Manager: Huh?
FullStackClown: Well, already look at this design and user flow, did you consider what happens when <insert edge case X here>, <insert edge case Y here>, or <insert edge case Z here>? How is the consultant going to know what to put in for business logic if you don't even know or define it yourself?
Manager: Huh?
FullStackClown: Sigh... yeah, I'm too busy right now to be a kindergarten teacher, come back in a few days once you understand how your own feature is supposed to work
Manager: ...
Dev: ...5 -
Just tested my GPU code vs my non-GPU code.
Its a simple game of life implementation. My test is on a 80 x 40 grid running for 100,000 cycles.
The normal code took 117 seconds.
The CUDA code took 2 seconds.
Holy fuck this is terrifying.3 -
A brief, and biased opinion of what love is in the dev world:
Love is my employees bringing me something to eat when they know I stay back so that they can all go out do whatever they can do.
Love is my CMS admin getting his ass up and walking all the way to my office when the director walks in to say some STUPID FUCKING SHIT to me that he(CMS Admin) knows would have me 2 fucking seconds away from getting out of my chair and drop kicking the fuck out of him.
Love is the rest of my employees getting up to follow along in case(certainly) one dude is not able to hold me down.
Love is them knowing that I know that their mere presence there will make me chill the fuck out and not choke the fucking director
Love is the CMS Admin proof reading every email I send to a bitch that was trying to get smart, to make sure that I was not being agressive.
Love is said CMS Admin bringing me coffee or a coke congratulating me on listening to him about X email not being aggressive (there is no passive in my vocabulary, just balls out "isn't this your fucking job" aggressive)
Love is my lead developer showing to work after medical treatment fucked up as all hell because he knows that if he is not there I will do a billion things myself in order to give him some rest.
Love is taking my CMS admin and lead dev out to eat when a major stakeholder shits on something I damn well know it took them a while to finish. Love is also letting me open up to said stakeholder to tell them how much of a fucktard they are, sometimes they let me loose, and I appreciate that.
Love is every small person in the company approaching you to tell you of their issues, becuase they care more about the productivity they give to their users, rather than the bullshit numbers their managers care about.
Love is the staff of other places taking care of you because you are not a VP dickhead that treats them like shit.
Love is the HR reps sending you personal e-mails asking you for help because their shitbag of a boss does not count for help and leaves them in the blank with shit software, for which said HR go above and beyond for you later on even though said shitbag manager said no.
Love is your team getting angry and responding respectfully at people when they talk shit about their manager on their emails (manager being me)
Love is your employees closing your door for you when they know you are overwhelmed and you need a quick second to pull yourself up.
Love is not wanting to leave this miserable place because you know some dickweed will be left in charge of the people that care for you, trust you, work for you regardless of the date, and confide in you.
They got me locked in, this shitty institution, for now. Until I find a way to bring my entire team with me.8 -
I started saying 'yes' to every opportunity in life. Long story short, I have 3 websites, 2 logos, a couple of leaflets and 2 non-profit websites due yesterday. Whiskey with cereal never tasted better at 8 AM!3
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*phone rings*
Me: "Hello".
Caller: "Hi, I'm just going to patch you in to this conference call."
Fucking hell.3 -
Signed up for a coding contest that starts at 9am. I’m bad at timed code challenges, but I’ll never get better if I don’t push myself.
Woke up in a panic, thinking I’d overslept... 1.5 hours after falling asleep.
This is definitely not going to help matters. Thanks, brain.10 -
Quote dumbledore: "Soon we all have to choose between what is right and what is easy"
So very true in programming aswell :p -
Earlier I was viewing my HTML document, but when I opened it this popped up. Musdguest is the name of my school's WiFi, and this kinda looks like the source code for my school's website...?
6 -
> be me
> post-well-structured question on SO
> very next millisecond, the question gets downvoted
> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯7 -
What is this, what the fuck is this shit?!!
Are you actually serious Google? Android Studio my ass...
The compat joke is a good one...
22 -
You know you need sleep when you scroll on DevRant and everything becomes 3D. And I’m talking, you can see depth between the text and a solid background.
Welp, I’m off to sleep.5 -
I'm getting the sense that the devRant algo somehow thinks I love seeing rubber duck memes every 3 posts...2
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Testing hell.
I'm working on a ticket that touches a lot of areas of the codebase, and impacts everything that creates a ... really common kind of object.
This means changes throughout the codebase and lots of failing specs. Ofc sometimes the code needs changing, and sometimes the specs do. it's tedious.
What makes this incredibly challenging is that different specs fail depend on how i run them. If I use Jenkins, i'm currently at 160 failing tests. If I run the same specs from the terminal, Iget 132. If I run them from RubyMine... well, I can't run them all at once because RubyMine sucks, but I'm guessing it's around 90 failures based on spot-checking some of the files.
But seriously, how can I determine what "fixed" even means if the issues arbitrarily pass or fail in different environments? I don't even know how cli and rubymine *can* differ, if I'm being honest.
I asked my boss about this and he said he's never seen the issue in the ten years he's worked there. so now i'm doubly confused.
Update: I used a copy of his db (the same one Jenkins is using), and now rspec reports 137 failures from the terminal, and a similar ~90 (again, a guess) from rubymine based on more spot-checking. I am so confused. The db dump has the same structure, and rspec clears the actual data between tests, so wtf is even going on? Maybe the encoding differs? but the failing specs are mostly testing logic?
none of this makes any sense.
i'm so confused.
It feels like i'm being asked to build a machine when the laws of physics change with locality. I can make it work here just fine, but it misbehaves a little at my neighbor's house, and outright explodes at the testing ground.4 -
Complete and total rant:
You know what fucking confuses the holy fucking shit out of me? DESIGN
I have MAD respect for motherfuckers that spend their days tailoring shit away in CSS, writing custom animations and toggles in JS and ensuring that their HTML is pristine as fuck. I really do and in my opinion they should b getting mad props from everyone, because if they so decide to learn GOOD server side scripting then they are most definitely on their way to create some awesome functional and beautiful shit.
But...
I am not a designer by any means of it. And I know that shit is supposed to look good and work across a multitude of devices. Doing something like that takes me a couple of lines of code (granted, after hours of work that is) that may take a designer way less.
But why oh why do I see THOUSANDS of lines of CSS code for shit that does not take me half the amount of work that it takes other people?
Like seriously. I am trying to emulate the menu that university of Chicago uses(as an example for a lil design practice cuz i suck at it) and looking into their CSS I see thooooousands of lines of code to do something that I did in about two hundred.
So wtf man, do I suck so hard that I am missing some serious shit? wtf is happening? This confuses me, because in my mind it should take me just about as much work as it takes them right?
AGAIN MAD RESPECT FOR DESIGNERS -- If you are a designer reading this please tell me wtf is happening14 -
I'm old and dumb comparing how things are today with where I started from. Time to start over again.
11 -
I don't hate Java, seriously.
I just prefer spending my first hours with a language actually programming in it rather than fixing shitty uninformative errors and learning libraries that follow no standards.
Pour your salt below.15 -
Why yes, it makes total sense for a variable called `$connectionString` to only accept either booleans or integers ... wat
Also beware the beauty on how well that names conveys the variable's intent.
FML
3 -
Microsoft are you serious! You are installing a major update that will take a while, specifying that it will restart my computer many times without even asking if I want to proceed with it now or later! I don't have my charger ! What would happen if It goes out of battery! Damn you Microsoft !! Isn't there any good OS or what! Windows is sometimes buggy ! Linux distros don't make use of GPU! And I don't even talk about Mac.. God damnit we're on year 2017 and made so many astonishing work and still there is no fully operational and good OS! 😬😬😬17
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When I hear people talk about love and the first thing that comes to mind is the Lua framework for 2D game development4
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Told juniors about coding guidelines that don't put another if-else just to fix a bug. Think through about it and see if you can come up with better solutions.
Today one bug was filed, they asked what happened, one junior said that he [my name] asked me for no if-else in code. He kinda deleted all if-else in codebase and started using same implementation for everything.
I'm standing with a WTF face.
😐8 -
This is what I typed:
ls -ass
This is what I got:
⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⢣⢶⣟⣿⣖⣿⣷⣻⣮⡿⣽⣿⣻⣖⣶⣤⣭⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⢹⠣⣛⣣⣭⣭⣭⣁⡛⠻⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣽⡧⡄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣌⡛⢿⣽⢘⣿⣷⣿⡻⠏⣛⣀⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙⡅⣿⠚⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄
⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⣱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠑⣿⣮⣝⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄
⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣣⣀5 -
Why is it so hard to read a 15 pages paper or article? I read hundreds of fiction pages or news in a day, but reading 100 lines of a scientific paper is a pain in the arse and I lose concentration by line 3.
Fak.9 -
I'm a student, so this isn't exactly the same.
I once created a Flask application for some coursework. It was basically an Instagram clone. Anyway, when it came to handling images and saving them, I used an import called ImageMagick. Now the issue is, it had to run in Levinux (which is shit). The problem was that ImageMagick was a Debian, and Levinux only used TCZ (Tiny Core Extension or something,) so I spent a literal three days trying to convert the library into a .tcz, only to find out that Flask's built in image manager worked perfectly and reduced my code by about 25%.4 -
Holy shit. I just watched a video on Rust and I think I am in love.
Tracked mutability, reference counting, guaranteed thread safety, all in a compiled type-safe language with the performance of C++? 😍
Why did I not check this out sooner??10 -
For @Alice
What is https://alicepeters.de/devrant/
What is the api?
And can you translate the german below?
15 -
Just decided to revive my old, dead and unappreciated project. Even bought a domain for it. So hyped!
...why am I doing this?5 -
This Moment when you find code and you have no clue why it exists, but you can remember that it was important...2
-
So this just happened. Some background before I begin: We're understaffed, my desk is in the back of the building, and there's no one really at the front to greet people. No security either...
Guy walks in wearing a flannel jacket (no shirt under it), pajama pants, and sandals. He looks like hell. Explains he was just released from a hospital and his apartment is locked. I let him use my phone to call his sister.
When I talk to his sister, she barely wants to speak with him. Tells me his apartment is locked for a reason and he's not allowed back. I'm just like: "So... what would you have us do for him?" At this point if his sister won't help, I was going to ask him to leave. Oh, and that hospital was a drug rehab.
So it ends with him waiting for a ride, but he ends up napping on the couch in the front of our office. CEO/Owner and his business partner walk right past and say nothing. They go into a meeting. I'm trying to figure out if I ask him to leave, wait outside for his ride... I'm a developer, this isn't my job.
A good 45-60 minutes later, after the guy walked outside and then came back in and laid back down on the couch, he leaves with his ride. Shortly after the owner walks out of his meeting, so I ask him what to do in this situation - more hoping he'd realize the need for more security.
If this story isn't crazy enough, the business partner pipes up - absolutely serious - and says he didn't say anything because he thought the guy was a developer.
So I've learned that we've got extremely low hygiene standards for developers here, with a relaxed dress code and are allowed nap times on the front couch.
Thankfully our CYBER security is better than our PHYSICAL security. :|1 -
Trying to teach a friend Rails
Friend: what is a migration
Me: file that alters the database etc.
Friend: what is a migration3 -
Part 2 of this rant: https://devrant.com/rants/933393/...
Today I received the source code of the application, it has like four views but guess what, all four views have their controllers in one controller.js file that is about 1400 lines of code.
Also all their data models are in one file,
everything is in one file.
Does anyone know how to make it through that shit :(16 -
It's normal to sit up until 6:00 AM cleaning your room, taking down Christmas decorations, and organizing your clothes, right?7
-
!rant
Does anyone know what the Boolean Pythagorean Triples problem or the Ramsey Theory? I read about it while reading an article on brute reason, a kind of compliment to brute force...8 -
As a software engineer, I’ve only *ever* worked remotely. I honestly have no idea what it’s like working in an office as a dev/engineer. Probably makes me weird. 😅
What did you like about working in an office, if you’ve had that experience? Was mentoring different? What did you dislike about it?29 -
What was the most stupid thing interview ever do to you?
My side of story. He (interviewer, also a developer) try to convince me that JavaScript and Java are the same thing. Which we all know that is not...
He said "I can't hire someone who don't know basic of computer science , this is basic that JavaScript is from Java"
(Isn't ecmascript or something?)
Saying JavaScript is From Java is a wrong statement. There are differences between having a DICK and Being a DICK.5 -
!dev
You know what? I've had it with this fucking hopped up country, I've been out the army less than a year and, full disclosure, I knew it was bad but what in the skullfuckery is wrong with the U.K?
Absolute retards everywhere, with some of THE MOST piggish, soul destroying and suicide mongering leaders I have ever met (that's a helluva achievement after 5 years in the army).
The amount of illegal immigrants that don't have a word of English or single thing to give this country, other than paediphilia, rape, knives, debt, and idiocy.
Yet the government is anally raping every single British citizen to give every single immigrant better living conditions than 90% of people who are here legally.
The woke-ism that permeates EVERYTHING is beyond a joke now too. When the hell did basic life become so convoluted, "offensive" and "scary" that primary schools have drag queens coming in to read, sex ed classes that teach shit like sex changes, transitioning, bending to everyone's will, and to be punished for asking questions?
It feels like there's a crushing weight on my chest 24/7 and I can't even speak about it because now free speech can get you demonized , ostracized, and even locked up!
It's okay though, you won't be locked up with any rapists, paedophiles, thieves, or SA's because they're all back on the streets to make space for anyone who dares have a voice.
Every time I talk to people now I feel violent and full of rage. Some of the time it's not even their fault, I'm just being chipped away at. CONSTANTLY.
I'm genuinely scared I'm going to lose my shit and break someone's neck, or my own.
DISCLAIMER: I know other countries have issues waaaay outweighing the UK's, and I'm not minifying them.
ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: as is the way, someone is most likely going to be offended by this post. Scroll the fuck on if that's the case. I'm human too and I need to vent. And this feels like the last safe space I can.50 -
After 2 years in a small company as an all around software developer (started with xamarin for Android/iOS, then Unity, then OpenXML, augmented reality, virtual reality and .Net MVC...yeah all that and lots more) I changed to another company and I'm here 1 month and some days. I am super enthusiastic and I like it here!! They're more specific and professional, exactly what I need at the moment.
What is the problem, you might ask?
I was given some projects, I have done most of the work but now an issue arrived. I did almost everything and now we're waiting for some answers needed before closing the projects. And I get bored. I want to work!! I need to continue the streak! Just give me something and I'll make it happen!! I am boreeed!!
What is wrong with me? Am I buggy or something?2 -
Rant time. So, me and a few classmates finally finished and handed in a website for a web development class a few days ago. Before we handed it in, we had a meeting with the professor to discuss what we still needed to do.
Us: Are we missing anything?
Prof: Nope. Looks good. Just make sure you have stylus implemented.
Us: Cool, thanks.
We got our grade back today. We didn't do as great as we'd hope, and here's one of the comments that the professor left us:
"You forgot to implement all of the CRUD operations. -4"
WHAT THE **** IS THAT? We asked you if we were missing anything, and you said no. You reminded us about stylus, which we looked at ONCE in a 13-week class, but you failed to remind us that we needed all of the CRUD ops?2 -
was applying to college when i saw “enter social security number (optional)”
yes ok, i’d also love to give you my bank account information, address, and birth certificate. anything you need!!!18 -
A new administrative assistant joined the company I work at. I presented myself and told her that I'm doing devops. After a couple of days she sent me a massage asking for my assistance. Very curious of what could that be I approached her workstation, and then she told me her mouse is not working and asked me to fix it.2
-
"Hey {name}",
I see you did this raspberry pi project and this is why we called you in for an interview.
Have you done any projects that's relevant to the company? Because your pi project isn't exactly what we're looking for
I know we advertised back end and front end roles for this position. You would be ideal for the front end position ...but our team is backend and the front end position would be at another office
I am so frustrated with companies like these -
How many bits are in a nibble?
(nybble/nyble)
....I did not know, nor did I know what a nibble was...WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP.....any takers?4 -
Ah the classic "Grau Dunkel 70". I know exactly what hex code that is. Thanks, design team!
Fuck you.8 -
2021: What is Metaverse?
Google: I "think" it means...
2022: What is Metaverse?
Google: Seems "maybe" it is a ...
2050: What is Metaverse?
Google: Mate to be honest It's unclear to me also.3 -
Python syntax is almost like KARMA! 😒😓
Karma is "what you do is what you get" while
Python syntax is "what you see is what you get"1 -
What? How! WHAT’S HAPPENING?!
(And this is with his profile, only.)
What is this sorcery, you devil electrineer!
12 -
“MacOS is derived BSD/Unix while Linux is derived from Minx/Unix. They both are similar, but not identical toolchains.”
So, what about them is similar and what about them is different ?6 -
College Senior Thesis is done. Wrote the whole fucker as a Spring Boot Microserivce and my brain is fucking jello after 4 straight months of work.
I need something lightweight, I need something fun to code as I wind down at the end of the year.
I think I'll play around with Node.js and Typescript and learn about this docker thing people keep talking about before I go back to Java exception hell.
I'm not ready to be a Jr Dev next year. I'm too young to work this kind of job for the next 40 years.1 -
I fucking hate design agencies and everything related to fucking design!
Today we received an email from design agency asking us to put two images next to each other so that they can compare and see which one fucking fit better!
What is the difference between these two images:
first one has 28points of text size while the other one has 26 points ...
one more reason to hate this fucked up world!4 -
Me: "Can you get the user to send us a recent crash dump?"
(Support person forwards my email)
User: "The most recent ones are from November"
Support person: "It seems they haven't had any this month"
Me: (?????!!) "Which November?"
The eventual crash dump was datestamped with today's date. -
My professor asked me today why I wanted to build my project using OOP.
This is a 480 level course and I have 2 1/2 years experience building well over 30 projects with OOP. And yes, we have students here who are nervous about the idea of using OOP. Nevermind that I and others took two classes on the topic.
I have hit my dispair event horizon. It has to get better from here. 🤯😬🤬🤬🤮☠️4 -
Just found this today in the Terms for a VPN provider...
hide.me uses Google Analytics to analyze in aggregate information about our website visitors. When your web browser loads a page on our site, a small snippet of javascript code is executed within your browser which submits information about the device from which you are connecting such as your browser user-agent, language, screen resolution, referring website, etc. to the Google Analytics service. To enhance your anonymity, hide.me have opted to only allow Google to collect only a portion of the IP address. Google Analytics may also store a web cookie to facilitate the identification of users who revisit the site. If users are concerned with being tracked by Google analytics scripts on hide.me or any other site running Google analytics, we recommend installing a browser add-on which allows you to opt out.
source: https://hide.me/en/legal
ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING?!? GO BOIL WHAT SMALL MAN JUNK YOU HAVE AND EAT IT.2 -
Of the rants that have tags, it seems like half of them contain some sort of non-tag that is dry wit, self-aware joke, or humorous comment.7
-
In two weeks of christmas holidays my brain had enough time to fire the guy that was in charge of my sleep pattern and to hire a new guy with less experience that is really trying hard to fix the mess that has been left for him.
Went to bed at 5am...
Woke up at 9am...
I'm getting there!4 -
The best way to describe what I had to do today is I "Channeled Macgyver"... now production is working.
⚪Data wasn't flowing as expected.
⚪Component written by our team was blamed.
⚪Boss asked me to bypass the component so data can flow.
Sure, I can fix that... Give me a car battery, a roll of duck tape and a butter knife. Data will be flowing in production shortly. -
Slack's latest update just broke the darkify hack. It's 2019, right? It is unbelievable that there is no built-in dark mode for Linux, Mac, or even windows. I mean, they are aware of dark mode. It is available on mobile without trouble. Get it together, slack!11
-
Sifting through a React class component that is over 1000 lines long.
When was this written? Not in the 1950s like you might think. Just over 3 months ago.
Kill me.6 -
holy fuck, UFOs are now moving to the "mainstream discourse"?????
yes, just like AI, world's ending, all the jobs are gone!!!
just like covid (remember that one?) world's over, we all died!
let me repeat it for you:
shut the fuck up
shut the fuck up
shut the fuck up
what the fuck went wrong with the vast majority of people along the way????
i'm going to the mountains, i'll be back...
never
inb4 "have some creativity fullstackclown!" "isn't it cool to think about?!"
shut up, using your fucking head that is a result of millions of years of evolution seems much more exciting than taking 4 grainy ass videos as truth and getting hyped up about it
show me a shred of valid evidence and i'll believe. however, evidence does NOT include:
- some big wig CLAIMING or SAYING they exist, regardless of their credentials - i don't care if fucking honest abe lincoln himself rises from the grave and says UFOs are real
- a photo or video that looks like it was taken in the 1920s
8 -
You know what pisses me off? When I don't know what a constant is used for so I check the documentation and this is what I see:
1 -
I once got into a full argument with this guy who claimed that no-one would collect his usage data because he's not interesting enough.
He then called me stupid when I told him he was wrong.
8 -
We write our feature specifications in Gherkin, so it is clear to every member of the team (even nondevs GASP!) exactly what each feature should do.
SO WHY THE FUCK, AFTER BUILDING THE FEATURE, DO I GET REVIEWS FROM THE pRoDuCt MaNaGeRs, SHOWING ME THEY WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR THE FEATURE. YOU WROTE THE FUCKING FEATURE DID YOU HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART MID THOUGHT YOU IDIOT!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SO SICK OF IT I'M SICK OF WORKING 12 HOURS ON A FRIDAY FOR YOUR STUPID SHIT2 -
Windows guy here, installing Ubuntu. Gonna see if I can get a Hello World going with this fancy new .Net Core.5
-
WTF IS THIS? Been popping up all day.... I tried googling but official support says to uninstall Office and Visual Studios....
WTF MSFT!!!! Quite frankly it feels even tech support at tech companies aren't very competent.... just staffed by a bunch of call center monkeys?
5 -
Whenever someone starts a sentence with "But [Linux|Windows|Mac] is better because..." in the open space developer pit...
3 -
* Start maintaining/upgrading new project at work
* Read book on best practices for the framework
* quickly realise all the "don't do this" parts of the examples in the book is EXACTLY how everything in the project is done
* cry self to sleep -
I have been trying to wrap my head around authentication in hapi for the last 6 hours...
Fuck this shit... when did simple,
I HAS A USERNAME
I HAS A PASSWORD
CAN HAS SESSION?
become:
- you magically get a token from somewhere
- you magically verify that token
- you respond with { credentials } //magic
- by some fucking black magic the server probably creates a session without you knowing about it...
- you freak out and write your own authentication scheme only to find out that you cannot read payload of POST requests in the authenticate method
- you get angrier and depressed and write a rant
(to be clear: there is @hapi/basic but I don't think sending a GET request with the URL looking like username:password@domain.tld is very safe...)11 -
Am I more active because I am feeling good, or is it because it's too hot here? 🤔
Anywho, giant NN classifier, come at me!
PS. I think it's gonna be a a major failure, but YOLO. 😜1 -
aagh fuck college subjects. over my last 4 years and 7 sems in college, i must have said this many times : fuck college subjects. But Later i realize that if not anything, they are useful in government/private exams and interviews.
But Human computer Interaction? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS SUBJECT???
This has a human in it, a comp in it, and interaction in it: sounds like a cool subject to gain some robotics/ai designing info. But its syllabus, and the info available on the net , is worse than that weird alienoid hentai porn you watched one night( I know you did).
Like, here is a para from the research paper am reading, try to figure out even if its english is correct or not:
============================
Looking back over the history of HCI publications, we can see how our community has broadened intellectually from its original roots in engineering research and, later, cognitive science. The official title of
the central conference in HCI is “Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems” even though we usually call it “CHI”. Human factors for interaction originated in the desire to evaluate whether pilots
could make error-free use of the increasingly complex control systems of their planes under normal conditions and under conditions of stress. It was, in origin, a-theoretic and entirely pragmatic. The conference and field still reflects these roots not only in its name but also in the occasional use of simple performance metrics.
However, as Grudin (2005) documents, CHI is more dominated by a second wave brought by the cognitive revolution. HCI adopted its own amalgam of cognitive science ideas centrally captured in Card, Moran & Newell (1983), oriented around the idea that human information processing is deeply analogous to computational signal processing, and that the primary computer-human interaction task is enabling communication between the machine and the person. This cognitive-revolution-influenced approach to humans and technology is what we usually think of when we refer to the HCI field, and particularly that represented at the CHI conference. As we will argue below, this central idea has deeply informed the ways our field conceives of design and evaluation.
The value of the space opened up by these two paradigms is undeniable. Yet one consequence of the dominance of these two paradigms is the difficulty of addressing the phenomena that these paradigms mark as marginal.
=============================7 -
[Question]
If there is an fire, smoke starts to fill the room quickly, and you are working on your code, will you "git commit / git push"?3 -
What the fuck is this piece of shit called Ubuntu? I was writing an automation tool on my local PC (ArchLinux) in c++ 17 (c++1z or whatever). Finished it today. Working and compiling so everything is fine. Went to my server, git clone, make.
Okay some errors because I havent installed my networking libs yet. So I installed them.
Make.
Error because I was using a c++ feature only available in c++ 17. But wtf. I told g++ I wanted to compile with c++ 17 support. I mean... On arch it compiled fine. On centOS it at least told me that it doesn't know c++1z (it was some really old centOS). BUT JUST TELLING ME ITS BECAUSE I SUCK AT PROGRAMMING?? THAT IS SO NOT OKAY. MY CODE IS LEGIT ISO C++ 17. FUCK UBUNTU. Installing Arch on my server now because I can't handle this shit anymore...16 -
!Dev
I soon will start working from home. meaning I won't have to waste 4 hours a day busing back and forth from the office.
I think with that free time I might start trying to organize my life, I have hundreds of 'read later' and 'useful' bookmarks across 3 computers, too many browsers, and countless bookmark folders. I also have notes in 7 channels on a private discord server.
I think with the free time I might actually clean up that massive mess and using my server I didn't have last time I worked from home, actually figure out a method that'll help keep it from getting this bad again.4 -
I'm developing a new (just for fun) programming language and I'm wondering what features I should add next? These features are already implemented:
- Printing text
- Variables
- user-input
- Datatype conversion (String, Int, Float, Bool, List, Dictionary)
- lists/arrays
- dictionaries
- Sorting
- Shuffling
- random numbers & choices
- Math stuff like: log, abs, floor, ceiling, sin, etc...
- Time & Date
- Working with files
- If-else statements
- Ternary operators
- Loops (for & while)
- Functions
- Classes
- Error handling
- Importing libraries & other scripts
- Arrow/callback functions
- Escaping (\)
is there anything you often use missing?11 -
Created a piece of code (code A). It didn't work.
Found a replacement on StackOverflow (code B), commented out my code A and tried the new one.
Everything seemed fine, deleted code A. Tried the app and it crashed.
Re-added the commented code, and the app started working again.
-_____________________-2 -
If it hasn't already one day this app is going to be the reason for a global systems outage. I should be working but for some reason every 5 minutes I find my self back here [*scrolling away*]...
-
The Angular 2 documentation taught how I must split everything into a gazillion different files, to separate the languages. Now I'm learning React and JSX, and I'm starting to question my very existence in the universe...
-
!rant
I just had the weirdest dream ever!!
I dreamed that PHP is like cancer: It eats you slowly from within and eventually you die.
And the weird thing is that I use PHP for a project..
Maybe it's a sign?😱2 -
Using a web grid which has functionality like filtering, sorting etc but each of it uses a postback. There is no way to enable client side filtering unless you do it yourself using JavaScript and the best part is the same company has another grid which has the option of both client side and server side filtering just by setting a flag but this grid only runs in .net 4 framework.
-
F*ck software updates..
So while working today, one of the IT support guy came and asked to update my windows machine due to some stupid company 'security policy' they were following .. That update took more than 3hrs.. The reason it took so long because I somehow managed to avoid any updates for 6-8 months.
But that is not the end of the story... Windows update was followed by a bios update, some softwares, and at this point I just gave up and went for a cup of coffee, and left my machine locked in a drawer still updating and it will stay in this condition until tomorrow.. We'll see if something breaks after updating.
F*ck why are there so many updates and why each of them requires a f*cking reboot...
Productivity today was less than the number of side projects I completed. 😪6 -
Well, I just made a Telegram bot that allows you to slap people with a mention. This is what my life has become.
-
I have a problem. I am too much of a perfectionist when it comes to coding. I need it to be perfect before anybody else lays their eyes upoun it. Functions, logic, commits.. everything needs to look good. This has been one of the reasons why I get delayed so much and miss deadlines.1
-
So I'm starting my a mandatory vacation today (for a week) because I can't carry over my remaining days.
What do I find myself doing this morning though? Reading and coding a personal project.1 -
This comes up when I search on Google 'what is code' lol this looks like a bob the builder remake all about code
-
Cleaning up code warnings in a 3rd party piece of software and found a function that was returning a pointer to a local variable, who wrote this piece of shit?!1
-
Just curious:
What is your typing speed?
What is your keyboard layout? (Qwerty, dvorak, colemak, etc.)
What type of keyboard do you use most often?14 -
I'm following this fucking tutorial (https://blog.ssdnodes.com/blog/...) and everything goes well, I have docker running, docker compose installed properly, but when I start trying to create the docker-compose.yml and accessing the stupid site using the virtual host domain i set I can't it keep getting "503 Service Temporarily Unavailable" or "502 Bad gateway" what the hell am i doing wrong, I just want to get this working in my VM so i can move it to my damn server and have my own fucking cloud. This damn bullshit is exactly why i went into programming rather than dealing with configuring servers and bullshit like this i know it's outside my level of understanding but I really fucking want my own cloud system but I want it containerized for both isolation and learning purposes.
I have no idea what the hell i'm doing wrong and all the damn articles and links i'm reading aren't helping at all with my level of stupid not allowing me to understand what i'm doing wrong1 -
So my girlfriend was trying to find another word for "whispered" and I just had to screenshot this ad...
Could someone tell me what its trying to actually scam people into?
5 -
Taught me just because something looks right it doesn't mean it is right. Ex: memory leaks, connection strings, 32 length passwords, and good looking women. Oh wait that last one could be a rant by itself cause you can't find a good looking woman that isn't crazy and won't wake you up if you do manage to get to bed1
-
Opinions please.
I want to share a small model in my iOS app. Now on android I'd do with with ViewModelProviders, but on iOS I'm going with SharedDataContainer which is basically a singleton class that store key value data.
Is there any better approach? Data will not be bigger than 10 list items with guid (key) and int (value)
However; when I have big data I do cache on disk or hello OOM exceptions (or whatever they call that bitch on iOS) -
So been doing a TFVC -> Git conversion the last 3 weeks. I'm finally seeing an end to this mind numbing frustrating mess, so I was thinking 'this is a good time to write down my experience in a rant'.
So first of all, I'm working on a project that's about 10 years old, and didn't have a serious refactoring in that time (still runs on .net 4).
The project structure is f*cked up and seriously complicated the git conversion. For example forms only used in the winform application were in a solution for a web app, and file referenced in the windows application. But due to the fact that these forms also needed references to some business logic in the winform app, I had to constantly jump from one project to the other, fixing references to get this shit in NuGet. Sadly this wasn't the only case, and the other 40 project I had to convert from TFVC to Git had equally f*cked up stuff.
Only thing positive to come of this, pretty much decided to leave and start as a freelancer. At least I'll get payed better for doing shit like this, and I know it'll be a temporary thing and can move on after it's done.4 -
I'm drunk and just scrolling through here looking for pictures coz I'm way too out of it to read.
Moar funnies plz?1 -
Ugh. Where to begin!
If you gotta make a standard for everyone to follow, you better make it readily available. Even though you barely have any users, but if it's a standard, anyone can try to follow it tomorrow. Or else take it down completely.
There's a standard for learning tools handled by IMSGlobal (Don't ask who they are, no idea). So if you want to build a tool to integrate with different learning platforms, follow this.
OK now, to read the documentation you have to register for an account. As if this is bad, ....... wait for it ........, sign up has to be approved by an admin. My request is already weeks old but not approved.
OK. Google around and try to see if some alternative can be read than that shitty website. Apparently, they have a Spring plugin on GitHub that can be used as a Maven dependency. It has a small readMe attached so I can get something out of it.
And I'm using Spring, golden right? Not quite...............
turns out the stupid readMe is outdated. If you follow those instructions, you get errors. WONDERFUL!!
Now I have to dig through all the code files and try to make sense of what I'm supposed to do. -
Recently I've noticed that a lot of projects that I get assigned to have some ridiculous timelines/deadlines whilst other projects seem to have all the time in the world. Why can't I ever have that kind of breathing space?
-
Today we got our Sentry integration (exception aggregator with a lot of nice features) working just to see a user using IE5 on a Windows 2000 machine causing exceptions. It made my team’s day.1
-
Been coding for over 5 years and today I'm going into a college exam about simple GUI with Windows Forms and simple class structures.. This will be so hard
-
Not really developer related, but today, my girlfriend was trying to convince me why taking the stairs was better then the elevator. She decided to not mention the health benefits, not talk about safety risks. The argument she chooses is that "stairs have less steps" like what? Out of all the things you could have said, that is literally the worst argument. I can't think of a single statement less true! Like she could have stated pretty much any fact and that would have been a better argument. I don't understand what's going on in her head sometimes.3
-
How do explain to a student taking computer science in their second year what programming is. She wants to do what I do.. But she doesn't know what a variable is practically. She doesn't know what program entry is... 😡😡😕😕. They expected to be taught all this is class2
-
Anyone got any idea what hardware this is? Tempted to buy one and put openwrt on it as a credit card router... For that need to know what openwrt target I could flash.
Already found a USB step up converter to power it
https://s.click.aliexpress.com/e/...
(Yes, I know I could use an old Pi but I hope the power consumption is lower)11 -
When you open a SQL File and you just here Maligaro whisper in your ear: " do you know the true face of nightmare, exile?"
-
It's gonna fucking long day, after work I have to attend the convocation rehearsal tomorrow and the day after i.e. Saturday it is actually convocation (graduation day). I had 12 hours of sleep in the last 3 days and it is catching up with me now.
I'm gonna slack today and take an off on Friday1 -
What exactly is a full-stack developer/engineer? I'm confused.
So, I worked as a freelance webdev for a US company where I redesigned a pretty complicated website from scratch with PHP, mysql, JavaScript, CSS, HTML5. I only mention those because it will important later.
Basically, it's a lame mvc framework I wrote which heavily relied on AJAX and bootstrap modals.
I built from mysql <=> PHP -> UI
I Also built an android app that communicates with the php api
I worked for 4.6 years and they were kind enough to give me the designation "Full Stack Engineer" so I could put that on my resume. Alright, cool.
Then I go to this interview and one interviewer took offense. He told me that, there are 3 tiers of web dev; Database, Backend shit and UI. And I'm not a full-stack engineer. He then asked me if I worked with frameworks like laravel, symphony etc. [I did but not in this project]. I didn't know what to say. The other interviewer tried to help me, "Do you know what it means? Or have you ever worked with React.js or Angular?".
Didn't get the job and I'm so embarrassed and just feel like I'm a fraud. How could I not know what full-stack is? And why did I put it in my resume? Fuck!
Anyway can anyone tell me what "full- stack *" is?
>inb4
>incoherent
>bad engrish
Just fuck my shit up fam5 -
@dfox @trogus
What is the tech stack used to build this...
To my best knowledge, you guys are using DigitalOcean and Shopify, what else do you use?
What is the language, server is based on?2 -
Best: The absolute feeling of glee when I finally twigged what polymorphism is!
Worst: spending a fully night working out what polymorphism is.... -
What is the utility of using encapsulation when we can access public attributes. What is the reason behind defining private members?6
-
Making CD-Extra discs, because apparently some people still use ye-olde CD players and others want MP3s.
What a magical world I live in. -
I know you think you understand what I said , but what you don't understand is what I said is not what i mean😵😵😵😵1
-
Gradle gradle gradle
You're made out of C
Gradle gradle gradle
The community doesn't seem to appreciate thee
Gradle gradle gradle
A blowjob is what comes after coffee
What the fuck is gradle?
RoadToPleb2 -
What is consciousness? Can it be simulated? If so, is it possible with current hardware? What is thought? Is it an input or an output? Is it voluntary? Is there a gap between stimulus and response? If so, how large is it? What happens there? How do you know?22
-
I haven't seen this posted on here but it gave me a good laugh and some cheer when stressed with work so here's some joy for you ranters.
http://ibiblio.org/harris/...
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