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I’m a senior dev at a small company that does some consulting. This past October, some really heavy personal situation came up and my job suffered for it. I raised the flag and was very open with my boss about it and both him and my team of 3 understood and were pretty cool with me taking on a smaller load of work while I moved on with some stuff in my life. For a week.
Right after that, I got sent to a client. “One month only, we just want some presence there since it’s such a big client” alright, I guess I can do that. “You’ll be in charge of a team of a few people and help them technically.” Sounds good, I like leading!
So I get here. Let’s talk technical first: from being in a small but interesting project using Xamarin, I’m now looking at Visual Basic code, using Visual Studio 2010. Windows fucking Forms.
The project was made by a single dev for this huge company. She did what she could but as the requirements grew this thing became a behemoth of spaghetti code and User Controls. The other two guys working on the project have been here for a few months and they have very basic experience at the job anyways. The woman that worked on the project for 5 years is now leaving because she can’t take it anymore.
And that’s not the worse of it. It took from October to December for me to get a machine. I literally spent two months reading on my cellphone and just going over my shitty personal situation for 8 hours a day. I complained to everyone I could and nothing really worked.
Then I got a PC! But wait… no domain user. Queue an extra month in which I could see the Windows 7 (yep) log in screen and nothing else. Then, finally! A domain user! I can log in! Just wait 2 extra weeks for us to give your user access to the subversion rep and you’re good to go!
While all of this went on, I didn’t get an access card until a week ago. Every day I had to walk to the reception desk, show my ID and request they call my boss so he could grant me access. 5 months of this, both at the start of the day and after lunch. There was one day in particular, between two holidays, in which no one that could grant me access was at the office. I literally stood there until 11am in which I called my company and told them I was going home.
Now I’ve been actually working for a while, mostly fixing stuff that works like crap and trying to implement functions that should have been finished but aren’t even started. Did I mention this App is in production and being used by the people here? Because it is. Imagine if you will the amount of problems that an application that’s connecting to the production DB can create when it doesn’t even validate if the field should receive numeric values only. Did I mention the DB itself is also a complete mess? Because it is. There’s an “INDEXES” tables in which, I shit you not, the IDs of every other table is stored. There are no Identity fields anywhere, and instead every insert has to go to this INDEXES table, check the last ID of the table we’re working on, then create a new registry in order to give you your new ID. It’s insane.
And, to boot, the new order from above is: We want to split this app in two. You guys will stick with the maintenance of half of it, some other dudes with the other. Still both targeting the same DB and using the same starting point, but each only working on the module that we want them to work in. PostmodernJerk, it’s your job now to prepare the app so that this can work. How? We dunno. Why? Fuck if we care. Kill you? You don’t deserve the swift release of death.
Also I’m starting to get a bit tired of comments that go ‘THIS DOESN’T WORK and ‘I DON’T KNOW WHY WE DO THIS BUT IT HELPS and my personal favorite ‘??????????????????????15
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ......
C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.
COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.
Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web chicken.
Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.
Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ' backed up' before crossing.
Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.) See also WMI Monitor.
Linux Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.
Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.
OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
Microsoft's Chicken: It's already on both sides of the road. What's more its just bought the road.
Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like........ chicken.
Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
VB Chicken: USHighways! <TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)
XP Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
The Longhorn Chicken had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.
The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.19
So my Cyber Security lecturer was talking about scam emails and how potential hackers can spoof their identity in order to gain information or get some malware on your PC.
Since this was all really obvious, I decided to email him with a crude scam email myself for the lols.
To his credit he saw the funny side.5
Don't let your identity be defined by tech stack, programming lang, company or job title. Define it by your bracket and indentation choices.8
10 years ago, I found a vulnerability in the connection between an insurer I was working for, and the network of databases of municipalities. I was only a hacker in so far as kids who watched Hak5 are considered hackers, so I always carried this laptop with a fake access point, package sniffer, wep crack, sslstrip, etc with me.
The vulnerabilities allowed me to register a new identity, for which I requested a passport.
Walking up to the town hall desk with two passports with different names, both mine, was pretty cool.
I did not do anything malicious, and was hired to fix the issues (wep encryption on insurers trusted wifi, and municipality postgres gave write access to all third parties)
For a few days I was the coolest kid in school though!2
devRant is truly amazing, a social network where I don't have to give up on privacy by giving out my number to confirm that I am legit when I'd use something as a VPN to protect my identity (unlike twitter facebook and google)
Thanks for giving a fuck about privacy and not giving a fuck about my data11
I love how the Keybase Linux client installs itself straight into /keybase. Unix directory structure guidelines? Oh no, those don't apply to us. And after uninstalling the application they don't even remove the directory. Leaving dirt and not even having the courtesy to clean it up. Their engineers sure are one of a kind.
Also, remember that EFAIL case? I received an email from them at the time, stating some stuff that was about as consistent as their respect for Unix directory structure guidelines. Overtyping straight from said email here:
[…] and our filesystem all do not use PGP.
> whatever that means.
The only time you'll ever use PGP encryption in Keybase is when you're sitting there thinking "Oh, I really want to use legacy PGP encryption."
> Legacy encryption.. yeah right. Just as legacy as Vim is, isn't it?
You have PGP as part of your cryptographic identity.
> OH REALLY?! NO SHIT!!! I ACTIVELY USED 3 OS'S AND FAILED ON 2 BECAUSE OF YOUR SHITTY CLIENT, JUST TO UPLOAD MY FUCKING PUBLIC KEY!!!
You'll want to remove your PGP key from your Keybase identity.
> Hmm, yeah you might want to do so. Not because EFAIL or anything, just because Keybase clearly is a total failure on all levels.
the Keybase team
> Well that's fucking clear. Could've taken some time to think before hitting "Send" though.
Don't get me wrong, I love the initiatives like this with all my heart, and greatly encourage secure messaging that leverages PGP. But when the implementation sucks this much, I start to ask myself questions about whether I should really trust this thing with my private conversations. Luckily I refrained from uploading my private key to their servers, otherwise I would've been really fucked.2
Paranoid Developers - It's a long one
Backstory: I was a freelance web developer when I managed to land a place on a cyber security program with who I consider to be the world leaders in the field (details deliberately withheld; who's paranoid now?). Other than the basic security practices of web dev, my experience with Cyber was limited to the OU introduction course, so I was wholly unprepared for the level of, occasionally hysterical, paranoia that my fellow cohort seemed to perpetually live in. The following is a collection of stories from several of these people, because if I only wrote about one they would accuse me of providing too much data allowing an attacker to aggregate and steal their identity. They do use devrant so if you're reading this, know that I love you and that something is wrong with you.
That time when...
He wrote a social media network with end-to-end encryption before it was cool.
He wrote custom 64kb encryption for his academic HDD.
He removed the 3 HDD from his desktop and stored them in a safe, whenever he left the house.
He set up a pfsense virtualbox with a firewall policy to block the port the student monitoring software used (effectively rendering it useless and definitely in breach of the IT policy).
He used only hashes of passwords as passwords (which isn't actually good).
He kept a drill on the desk ready to destroy his HDD at a moments notice.
He started developing a device to drill through his HDD when he pushed a button. May or may not have finished it.
He set up a new email account for each individual online service.
He hosted a website from his own home server so he didn't have to host the files elsewhere (which is just awful for home network security).
He unplugged the home router and began scanning his devices and manually searching through the process list when his music stopped playing on the laptop several times (turns out he had a wobbly spacebar and the shaking washing machine provided enough jittering for a button press).
He brought his own privacy screen to work (remember, this is a security place, with like background checks and all sorts).
He gave his C programming coursework (a simple messaging program) 2048 bit encryption, which was not required.
He wrote a custom encryption for his other C programming coursework as well as writing out the enigma encryption because there was no library, again not required.
He bought a burner phone to visit the capital city.
He bought a burner phone whenever he left his hometown come to think of it.
He bought a smartphone online, wiped it and installed new firmware (it was Chinese; I'm not saying anything about the Chinese, you're the one thinking it).
He bought a smartphone and installed Kali Linux NetHunter so he could test WiFi networks he connected to before using them on his personal device.
(You might be noticing it's all he's. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't).
He ate a sim card.
He brought a balaclava to pentesting training (it was pretty meme).
He printed out his source code as a manual read-only method.
He made a rule on his academic email to block incoming mail from the academic body (to be fair this is a good spam policy).
He withdraws money from a different cashpoint everytime to avoid patterns in his behaviour (the irony).
He reported someone for hacking the centre's network when they built their own website for practice using XAMMP.
I'm going to stop there. I could tell you so many more stories about these guys, some about them being paranoid and some about the stupid antics Cyber Security and Information Assurance students get up to. Well done for making it this far. Hope you enjoyed it.41
So i am the process of working on improving my personal brand and have created myself a new logo.
I thought it would be interesting to see what you all think?
"As a developer/designer hybrid i wanted to create a identity that was able to form a symbolic reference.
My initials (nb) are formed into one continuous line making a connection to two seemingly different fields that represent both design and development."
Full Resolution: https://dribbble.com/shots/...35
Client: why do I have to use such a hard password for this website?
Me: For security reasons to protect your content and identity of your clients.
Client: Can't you just use the password that I'm used to? I use it on my banking software, and I've never been hacked so it should be good enough for you!
Me: what's the password that you want me to set up for you?
Client: you ready to take it down?
Me: go ahead.
Client: T ... U ... R ... D. You got that?
Me: ... Yes ...
Designer: in an effort to create our brand identity we've come up with a design pattern to use across Android, iOS, and web.
Me: this design goes against material design principles which we agreed we'd use. Also it looks like a mashup of iOS and Windows 10
Designer: just because it looks like an iOS/Windows 10 mashup doesn't mean it was designed for those platforms; it was designed as our brand for all platforms. We feel very strongly about keeping it, specifically the pieces that make you feel uncomfortable as an Android developer
Someone in Indonesia is using my email adress to order stuff from a site called Lazada. My email account is not compromised as far as I know. But It's really annoying always getting order confirmation emails in bahasa Indonesia.
I've got "kikis" phone number and adress. Any advice what i've could do to make her stop?18
Okay, Google. I can see why you want me to check those boxes with cars. And I'm also fine with you telling me to do it on a different picture if the first one didnt had any, just to check. But WHAT I AM FUCKING NOT OKAY WITH, IS ME SOLVING CAPTCHAS FOR 10 FUCKING MINUTES REPETEDLY SAYING PLEASE TRY AGAIN AND THEN TELLING ME THAT I AM NOT EVEN ABLE TO TRY AGAIN BECAUSE OF AN DETECTED ATTEMPT OF BOTTING? WHO ARE YOU? AN AI QUESTONING MY HUMAN IDENTITY? JUST BECAUSE IM USING LINUX YOU DECIDE TO GIVE ME ANOTHER NOTHERFUCKING BATCH OF STREET SIGNS? YOU CAN STICK THOSE STREET SIGNS UP YOUR ASS! FUCK OFF!
tl;dr: i got banned from solving recaptchas the second time this week. lets hope its just *another* timeout.4
LONG RANT ALERT, no TL;DR
* Writes an email to colleague about why I can't create a page on our CMS without at least a H1 title. She wants to me to put up an image with text on it (like a flyer), for multiple reasons, I say I need a textless image. *
30 minutes later:
* Casually plans a frontend optimization project, by looking at files on the CMS, in order to make further development easier and less time-taking*
*** EMAIL NOTIFICATION ***
* clicks *
"Hello, this is [Graphic designer] from the company who created the image with text on it. I do not understand why you can't put display:none on your <h1> tag. Also, being a web company, we are used to making themes and my solution of display:none will work. It's pityful to work on a design only to have it stripped out from most of its concept. If you can't do that, do tell me what resolution you need."
My first reaction:
"Dear [Graphic designer], I am managing our corporate identity, our backend and frontend codebase, I am a graphic designer myself, and am also SEO-aware. For at least 8 reasons (redacted, 'cuse too long), I will need an image without text. As told to my colleagues, I need a 72/96 DPI 16:9 ratio image, 1920x1080 is a good start but may be bigger. Also, looking at the image, it'll have to be in JPG, at 100% quality, exported for the web. Our database software will optimize the image by itself."
Reasons are about SEO issues, responsiveness issues, CMS tools issues, backend and frontend issues.
Instead, I sent following email "We can't. Image please."
I mean seriously. A bit of clarity for you:
In my company, nobody has the slightest idea what I do. They don't understand how a computer works (we all know it works by magic, right?). So of course, when one thinks what we don't know, we know it better than the one who knows, my colleague thought our CMS was like a word document, and began telling me how I should display her bible-length text-infected image, by using some inline css styling display:none.
I tell her "nope, because of my 8 reasons". She transmits that to the agency who's done the visual, now I have this [Graphic designer] not understanding that there are other CMSs than Wordpress on the web, and she tells me, me being one of the most aware on this CMS we have, how I should optimize my site?
Fucking shit, she connects on our CMS for 1 second and she'll get cancer since it's so bad. I'm in the process of planning a whole new rewrite so the website is well designed (currently I am modifying a base theme made by an incompetent designer). I know the system by heart and I know what you can, or can't do.
Now I just received an answer: "so it's only a pure technical problem". NO, OUR WEBSITE WAS CODED BY A CHIMPANZEE WHO THOUGHT WEB DEV WAS AS EASY AS WRITING "HELLO WORLD" ON A SHITTY CMS THAT FORCES DEV USERS TO USE A FUCKING CUM-WHITE-THEMED EDITOR TO EDIT THE WHOLE SITE!!!
I can't just sneeze and "oh look, it's working!"2
I'm writing a huge program of identity management from two months, taking data from different sources and edit them to comply with a lot of cases. Today, my boss told me that he changes idea and my code is now useless... I would cry.4
A Bank Account Number is like a public encryption key. Any random person needs it to send me money. Why does it seem like banks treat it as a secret or even use it to confirm my identity? It's literally printed in plain text on every check.2
I don't usually look at the "updates" section of my Gmail but yesterday I did. One message cought my eye: "Your application to Microsoft BizSpark has been approved" but I've never applied to Microsoft BizSpark!
Someone has registered in my name, opened a Microsoft Outlook account under my full name and added my startup details for applying to BizSpark! One issue though, he used some Spanish equivalent of mailinator to subscribe so I could easily reset the password and replace the security email. Now I have 5 visual studio subscriptions I don't know what to do with.5
Found this while googling an error...
It identifies as an easter-egg therefor it is an easter-egg, so don't you dare egg shame me!
😁 It's not much but i'll take it 😂1
Me in school: Math? When do I need know those details? I can look them up and just code it.
Me in high school: Computer science is way too math-y. I want to code!
Me coding php: Just make it work.
Me coding typescript: Just make it work.
Me coding scala: Just make it ... what ... how do I make it work!?!
Me asking stackoverflow: How do I do X in scala some functional programming stuff in mind in order to keep immutability.
Somebody way smarter than I: "In scalaz, a function A => A is called an endomorphism and is a Monoid whose associative binary operation is function composition and whose identity is the identity function"
Me now: Fuck my old arrogant self.1
I had a few girlfriends in the past and now am married for 4 years and can't remember any gfs before the married life. Ever had a pre-identity crisis?
My mind: "WHO THE F&*! WAS I? WHAT DID I DO? ITS LIKE TOTAL RECON AND AMNESIA ALTOGETHER!!"5
Ok, a few days ago I recommended contabo.com as a good and cheap VPS, because our company uses it and it is blazingly fast. BUT! I am definitely NOT doing this!
"False or fraudulent orders are commonplace on the Internet. We have to take measures to prevent such false or fraudulent orders. Our system has identified your order as a possible false order. We must now prove your order as a valid order, otherwise we cannot provide you with the services you bought. We need your help with this. Please send us a copy of your passport or national identity card or something similar which corresponds to the data you have provided to us. Alternatively, you can send us your telephone or electricity bill if it contains your address. The address must match the address you provided on our homepage. It is sufficient if you simply take a photo of the document. The only purpose of this is to prove your order as authentic. This is why it does not matter which of the mentioned documents you send us and it does not matter if you make a scan or take a photo. A scammer could not provide any of these documents, this means one document is already enough to prove that your order is authentic and valid."13
How can I wipe my identity from all over the internet?
I use Google and other services which track me and use my data for various purpose.
I always wanted to live a private life but failed.
Now that I am highly inspired by people here who believe in privacy rights, I wish to erase my entire identity from internet and move to search engines like DDG and use browsers like TOR.
How can I do it? Any help will be highly appreciated.17
Your identity is the most valuable thing you have.
Losing it for whatever reason, for example to be like your partner or your parents want you to be is probably the most wrong thing to do.14
Went to a thrift store last week near work and they often have old dev or technology books (I picked up a first edition K&R C book, once) and I found:
1) A book on the history of codes and ciphers throughout history.
2) Beyond good and evil by Nietzsche.
3) A modern publication of a 1673 Spanish demon summoning book (to go into a local town archive).
4) The technical information and construction manual for telegram systems from 1938.
I swear I was driving home thinking:
"Please don't crash, if CSI teams have to piece my identity together from these four personal items I dread to think what conclusions they're going to come to..."
Howdy this is a daily reminder on why you can't trust anyone with shared information.
I am back home from uni for the holidays and like any computer person who is back in town became responsible for fixing every tech problem that has occurred since my last visit. But what caught my eye when I approached the family computer is not the problem with the computer itself, it's the paper in front of the computer that, in giant lettering, has not only the passwords and account names of my mom and brother's AOL (She's old ok) and FAFSA account respectively but also someone's social security number. Any goddam baffoon who looks through the window or is able to take literally three goddam steps past the front door now has enough information to commit identity theft or just take over one of their accounts. I know it's not that likely but I still had a heart attack when I saw that.
How badly have I failed them?1
For about 3x years now, we have had 3x generic work email addresses that are used as microsoft accounts for office 2016 licenses.
(The company is dragging its heels on getting office 365 so MS like to make our lives hell.)
Suddenly we can’t get office updates... and when we sign in to see why, it says that because we are apparently only 3 years old we need our parents permission to use the account or we’ll lose access by September.
Never were we forced to enter a DOB when setting the accounts up!!! So it used the account setup date instead.
It turns out that we can’t change our DOB ourselves, as we are a ‘child’ and need a parents permission.
I access my personal account and follow the instructions to add the 3x email addresses as my children so i can change the DOB.
‘Ha ha’ i hear microsoft saying, ‘it doesn’t work that way!!’
No, In order for the parent to verify their child’s identity, they are charged 0.50c per child!
Doesn’t cost a lot but come on Microsoft!!
It’s that, or submit ID, which obviously wont work for a generic support@ email address like we have.
So annoying and we don’t know what to do.
Wonder how much MS are making out of this...2
I get about 4-5 hours sleep. Like today: I went to work, made my lunch at work, got changed for football, played football from 7-9pm got home at 9:30, cooked, ate, showered and dried my hair and it's now 1am.
Tomorrow I got football training for another team so again I'll be getting into be at about 1am.
Also I forgot go mention ive got to get up at 6 for work And Friday I have to be at the doctors for 7. Yeyyyyy me!!! Don't even ask me about the weekend...
I feel like this classifies as a rant because I don't get to code at the weekends and it kills me 😡😡 especially when I want to contribute to certain packages and said I would. So fuck you social life. Fuck. You.
Ohhh and those fucking 'friends' that guilt trip you into seeing them because "you haven't seen me in ages 😢😢" there's a reason for that Barbra (keeping her identity secret) I'm fucking depressed and tired. Fuck the fuck right off.8
I've had a personal project (commercial idea) I've been meaning to get started on for a while, and today I started...
Kudos to the team at Microsoft, they've really gotten .net core and asp.net core to a fantastic place.
And the team at JetBrains have done an amazing job on Rider.
I've been able to get a docker container running SQL Server on linux, as well as Web API projects for an API and an identity server all running with local HTTPS and communicating quite happily, with barely an issue in sight.
Bodes well for the future I hope.
Now I just have to commit to the project and actually finish it 😂1
The Sony Vaio identity, created by Timothy Hanlet, represents both analog (the wave of V and A) and binary (I and O).2
Got to scratch of one of three remaining old (14years and counting) design mistakes this week.
Together with a colleague we replaced a 1.5 billion row table that I out of ignorance then designed with a 3 column composite primary key instead of an identity column.
Moving the data while keeping all synchronized (the table gets up towards 2 million new rows and 2 million updates a day while constantly being queried) took 1 week.
Just 2 skeletons left to clean out, any year now ;).1
"test cases should have an identity and a reason for being" well shit, I'm not even sure I have those things4
TL;DR: What's cool about your company or what you'd like to have in your company?
I work at a small company (<50 employee) but it has some time around (I'd say almost 20 years or so).
The thing is, the boss here is cheap or inattentive or outdated or all previous options. This translates into a company stuck in the 90's management ways. Well, maybe late 90's.
So we don't have a lot of 'cool' or nice things here; and I've been thinking of coming up with a proposal of a progressive update of some things that gives us (the employees) some sort of identity.
For example, I think that small things like personalized notebooks or post-its or t-shirts give the employees some sort of sense of belonging. We don't have any of that. The only thing we have are business cards and I find them completely useless since I don't visit customers and all my communication with them is via email.
One thing I find very cool is when one employee starts in a company, in their first day they get a 'welcome kit' (example picture): notebook, pen, cup, t-shirt... It may look like stupid shit but it's way better and more motivating than the "Sit here and that's it" welcome I got when I started here.
So I wanna do a proposal of this sort of things that we can adopt, and I wanna know what do you find cool in your company or what would you like your company did so you'd feel more confortable or 'proud' (maybe that's not the word) of working there.6
Changing authentication mechanism in SharePoint from windows identity to ADFS identity is stupidly complicated, especially for existing large farms with custom code.
On the plus side - just convinced the director this is stupid - saved myself, himself, and 1000 users a ton of misery.12
I have a Devrant tee shirt and stickers. Everyone knows I like 80s Rock and metal. I hope know figures out my identity. Never mind I don't care. I am freelancing.6
Big military company is using their custom font for everything. Is there a way to find documents that use a specific font?
All hail to the corporate identity!4
An identity platform where you can find each other, get the other's public key and preferred contact method. And the entire key exchange and choice of contact method are negotiated automatically. No vendor lock in, encryption happens on your own device. Effortlessly and securely communicating, no searching for skype name, email, phone number, setting up shit. It would just work.7
How do you write your "identity" in your code so that others can see that it's you who made it?
Do you do it with a simple "made by" or do you write more?18
Got contacted by a potential client whose job I had bid on. Spent a couple of minutes frantically studying his specification and preparing my discussion.
Turns out the job was fake. He wanted me to create a new profile, verify it with my white European identity and then let him use it to approach Western clients.
The best part? I'm as Asian as he is, and all my profile pictures bear witness to that fact.
Some people smoke some really special stuff...1
Not really a rant, I guess.
I enjoy programming. I love the problem solving, I love the satisfaction when I finally fix a bug.
And right now I'm studying IT, and work on a game project in my free time. And I enjoy doing that.
But I feel like it makes me a boring person, because I spend most of my time in front of a screen. And I don't have that many other hobbies.
Recently I fell in love, and she is my girlfriend now, but I'm afraid that I'm too boring and that she will get bored of me and that we won't last. But I love her a huge lot, and I don't want that to happen.
Ever since I met her I've been feeling like doing new things, I've been singing her songs, I've been cooking, I got my old deathtrap of a bike out again.
But I feel like it is not enough. I'm still looking for new and interesting things to do, especially outside, and things you can do together, not just alone. But I don't even know what I'm interested in and what I enjoy myself, because ever since I've been playing games and programming, I've been focusing on getting good at that since i felt like it was the only thing I was good at, and I have retreated myself to my PC, neglected everything else and didn't even look at other things to do...
So now I'm kind of feeling like I have to find myself anew, after having just found myself as a programmer, I no longer know if that is what I want to do.
Thanks if you actually read all that. I'd be glad for any positive comments.6
At the time I had been squatting, arrested, driven 300 miles across country only to be released - mistaken identity with just the clothes on my back. Decided to stay and lined up a couple of interviews. I got offered both but took the one which meant 2 busses and a ferry and 2 hours each way for a data entry position.
They were migrating to a new database and my job was to type it in to a screen so from print outs. Didn’t take long for me to work through that and they were struggling to find stuff for me to do, I mean at one point I was filing paper files. So I saw the 2 it guys doing the same thing with loads of excel files , hours and hours a month just wasted. I wrote a vba excel macro to do it for them at the click of a button and suddenly a position opened up as a junior programmer. Still at the same place 16 years later and were still using software I wrote 15 years ago (.net 1.1) quite happily on win10 surprisingly.
Anybody else feel like their Internet traffic constanty being monitored after downloading pen testing tools?
Have our identities been added to lists of potential cyber criminals :/
(For ethical purposes - involving your own site's security!!)2
What I write:
select * from x where id in (1,2)
What appears in sql-server management studio:
select * from x where IDENTITY INDEXKEY_PROPERTY (1,2)
How many people here consider their profession a large, potentially principal part of their identity as people? How important is it to you that you are known for what you do?1
Anyone else ever been through an identity crisis? This shit is intense. For the first time in over a decade I'm questioning who I really am and how to be happy while interacting with the world around me.
I used to not give a fuck what people thought about me, my semi-haggard appearance was just part of my persona, but as time marched on and my hair got longer, I get nothing but shitty looks from people 40+. I feel like nobody takes me seriously anymore. I'm honestly debating just chopping off most of my hair and dressing nicer, essentially 'growing up'. Just kind of rolling over and blending in with everyone else. "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down." - I'm tired of getting hammered. I just want to retreat to my quiet little corner of newfound adulthood.4
Sometimes life just cracks its knuckles and goes like, yeah let's just fuck this guy inside out.
Everyday is a battle. Cockroaches are my worst fear. Like Orwell's Room no. 101 level fear. My tiny student residence room has so many that I'm sick of killing them. And they just keep coming back.
My worst sorrow is lonliness. I'm the kind of person who's fairly independant and level headed but I just love the feeling of having close ones around. So much that it's a part of my existence and identity. And sadly, that's just not there right now.
My worst misery is unproductivity. Not working on something useful always makes me feel guilty. But all the stress and responsibilities and the above mentioned problems leave me with little mental room to do what I like unless I put in a lot of conscious effort into it which drains me.
Despite all this, I stay happy. I smile at the end of the day and I'm fucking proud of it.3
So apparently there was a HUGE data leak in my country and everything from a person's name, gender, Identification number, to estimated salary is out there in the wild, ready to be used by anyone who wants someone else's identity.7
Word is spreading that CNN, which is owned by Time Warner, got a reddit users IP from their mods, and with their relation to Time Warner, got his identity.
Then extorted him to apologize or be revealed.
This is huge, and we don't even know its the only time it has happened.
VPNs may not even truly protect you if the ISP can connect the dots over time, with time stamps.
Holy shit, CNN just weaponized ipv41
Well, this one was very satisfying.
When I resigned from my previous job, there was this one last task I had to finish. The task was to implement an identity and access management system that would work across three different platforms they had. I used to work on one of them which had nothing of the sort but the other two had something of their own. Here lies the kicker, it had to work with existing authorization system in other two platforms. After explaining multiple times why that is a bad idea, I gave up. I created an interface, no implementation, documented how the interface was meant to be used and got the hell out of there.
Tryna search for my new self inspired sexiest domain name if available but the fucking page keeps bringing up that fucking recaptcha asking me for some fucking description about some fucking cars, fucking roads, fucking bridges, dunno if that was my fucking business!
I want you to stop asking me shitty questions cause i'm a fucking robot. Hence i wrote a script that would change the typo from "i'm not a robot" to "i'm a f*cking robot" any time i visit any fucking page requesting for my fucking identity!
Fuck Google!, Fuck Recaptcha!, Fuck Hostgator! Fuck Security! Fuck them all!!!4
I'm at a hospital waiting and the tv is so loud so I thought I'd find a remote app to turn it down.
I found this app, one with no ads but look at all the damn permissions it needs....
What the hell,
Anyone know a good remote app that doesn't want to steal my identity?6
Sadly I just can imagine more development directed to increase consumer behavior (ads, social) and less to actually improve people's lives.
Shouldn't software development have an identity other than the enterprise? We are probably the better communicated professional community there is. Shouldn't we rise? ✊2
Wtf....Facebook just disabled my account and asked to confirm my identity by uploading a photo. What might be the problem?7
Developers more than other groups tend to hold their operating system or programming language of choice dearly, to the point where if someone thinks poorly of the OS or Language, they take it like a personal attack. Then there are those who think poorly of people who who's a certain OS or a specific language. Combine the two and you get hurt feelings and identity crisis.
Can we all just agree that we're all in different stages of learning and that we all generally end up going the same direction for the same types of problems?
Or just have it out and kill each other over it. Will give me great rant material.3
I don't like most of the people around me (programmers). I find most of them boring and with a really "flat" personality with no interests other than coding. I enjoy coding myself but sometimes I feel that I don't belong to this community. There is more in life than just your job.1
In SQL Management Studio, why is the Identity Specification so low in the column properties list?! It's so annoying to scroll and find it.
Is this punishment for using the GUI?1
Got a scammer on my hook. Ideas welcome to fuck him/her over.
He/she confused me with someone else and messaged me acting as a support person of an exchange. I acted along and s/he is insisting on sharing account details.
Played along like a dumb internet noob and I think I got him to share his fake email id.
Now I'm thinking of ways to extract more details about him via email.
From top of my mind, these are some ideas I have:
- get his IP address
- zip bomb or something like that? But g mail is probably gonna detect that.
Ideally, If I could social engineer him to give his phone number, I could easily report him to police and find his identity.
Have you busted some scammers? Would appreciate some tips.6
Fucking hell. So, I had an interview with market research company and in said interview I got told to bring my passport to my first shift training and it was ok if it was 5 years out of date. Additional info, they were supposed to call us on Thursday to book said shift and send us an email with a information pack. They never did.
Ok, day of shift comes along. After I booked it because no one fucking bothered to call any of us. Email never arrived but whatever. I go to the place and bring my 3 years out of date polish passport... Big fucking mistake. They don't seem to like polish passport seeing as how it's only the British ones that get the out of date is okay thing. So I'm sitting there still calm because sure, company policy, they have to do it. The training guy was nice and all, offered to get me to their office to speak to them about it. I accept and off we go.
At the office, I basically get the information that it's only British passports that get it and I basically can't use anything else as proof of ID, which is funny seeing as I have a polish identity card that I can leave and enter the country on within the EU. I suppose I'm going to try looking for a job that doesn't require passports for now and if I find a good one then they can go get fucked by a bull for all I care.
In conclusion, I get to wait till I'm 18 (thankfully only a month) to apply for a new passport in the local polish consulate. Brilliant. All thanks to some cunt that decided they require fucking passports with such beautiful (note the sarcasm) rules. The fucktards.
Hoping the apocalypse comes early for these cocksuckers,
Latest promoted thread on XDA to make the list:
"how to disable forced encryption".
This is from a place that tries to be innovative. I'm half expecting a thread get promoted with the title "how to give everyone your passwords/identity/credit cards".
I think I used to identify myself heavily by my work, career and so felt very dissatisfied I wasn't living up to my potential and getting the chances I deserved. I just couldn't get my dream job...
But now it feels like I've sorta split into Work and Life. Work does whatever is needed to pay the bills and is pretty satisfied now. Still gotta deal with monkeys but maybe devRant has helped provide an outlet to unleash the stress... and maybe sorta made it fun...
But Life juggles among different things, some time wasters, but seems now not so coding heavy anymore unless it's really inspired. And doesn't like putting aside time to prepare for interviews anymore or even actively seek out the latest tech news...
I sorta forgot what I was saying but does anyone else feel they used to have one identity but now split into 2 or more?
Actually I think this is what triggered it. Read this awhile ago but suddenly had this thought in my mind...
Today I found myself wanting to vent but feeling like if I did I might indentify myself to coworkers.
Would love some sort of anonymous mode that would let me be able to share and get feedback on my situation without being tied to my devrant account which is associated to my social media.
Obviously some sort of limitations would have to be put in place to prevent abuse but I think it's a fair price to pay for protecting identity and prevents the need to make a throw-away account.5
Hey everyone.. I am a Graphic and Web Designer plus developer and I am going to create brand identity for myself but I am looking for something creative and good names. I like something like GraphicOwl or GeekyOwl.. Also suggest a slogan or tagline.8
Seeing some Ruby just reminded me of something.
Fuck Objective-C. What kind of lazy fuck makes C object oriented by stapling SmallTalk to it? A better name would be "C: Now with Dissociative Identity Disorder...oh and objects".
Apple apologists make excuses for this miserable language all the time...why? Because it's the only thing Apple would give you?
Swift is definitely an improvement though.4
Guys. I have to talk about something very important about myself. Cause at the moment i am in a kind of heavy identity crisis. Sometimes i ask myself if am really the one who i think i am or if i am maybe someone else. Sometimes i get really angry because of that and when im about to give up suddenly everything is fine again.
But What would be if my Life is a lie ? If everything is just fake what i have experienced so far and my thoughts are right. ? It seems that real people have a diffrent view of things then me.
Yes of course these a weird thoughts and you may think now oh gosh this guy is nutz but really You have to understand me:
There is no other explaination or at least i dont know any other for the fact that i fail so often googles im not a robot test. i mean it says choose all vehicles and i do so but it says its wrong then it wants the same for trees i do so and its wrong. Then it wants store fronts and i do so and when i about to give up it just suddenly works ? o.O
Im not sure if am really a human or a robot. Im really confused now
Little Joke :) But i hate recaptcha especially when it thinks to be right but it isnt.3
I'm about to submit an app to the App Store. I took some time to make sure signing in/out of different social media accounts worked properly in my app.
I've been locked out of my Facebook developer account since yesterday due to "suspicious activity" and was asked to upload a photo of myself to verify my identity. I'm not too confident my account will be unlocked as I don't use Facebook regularly and therefore never felt the need to upload a profile picture.
Lot of people asking my real Identity 🙄 Let's see who can figure out my real name. There are couple exceptions who already know me. So please don't comment if you already know. 😅12
Well fuck. I am experiencing over-engineering first hand.
I am the single dev responsible for developing a small feature but which is an identity to our whole product(feel free to guess it here). This is quite simple I thought, I can just modify the constants which are being used in the source code and I can finish it off in a week tops. I asked all the relevant teams over which this feature would have dependencies and they gave me a green signal. Setup Jenkins configuration and everything for this new feature. With a wide grin on my face, I sent out a pull request. Now the architect of our product declined the pr saying to change everything from the bottom up giving the reason that it would be configurable sometime later in the future. Now mind you, I get it if this feature could change over time and needs customability. But it has been the same since last seven years and would probably not change again for a couple of years ahead [you have to take my word for it.]. Its not that the guy is a douche or anything, he is one of the best dev I have ever personally came across and I highly respect and admire him. But there has to be a trade off between the effort you are putting in versus the benefit you get. Now I have to touch almost every file, super carefully look in the whole product if a bug creeps out from anywhere and change the existing code to a point where it doesn't even make sense to me anymore, and write tests ofcourse.
wubba lubba dub dub!2
Still remember the first time I started writing style sheets, the biggest confusion was why do they use an id where we can always use a class.
Now I know why. Only you are your identity, but there may be many people of the same class. :)2
This happened towards the end of a data archival project I was involved in.
It was the last day of the project and we were in the process of handing over the system to the client. As it so happened, the client, while doing a sanity check, found out that some unwanted data had not been deleted from the database.
On project manager said to us, "Let's delete the unwanted records manually."
The only problem. There were three of us and over 150000 entries to delete (the system had around ten years of data).
In the end, we came up with a logic to identity the unwanted records, and I created a small program to delete the entries using this logic.
To this day it is still not clear as to what inspired the PM to come up with such a suggestion.
"No matching provisioning profiles found: No provisioning profiles matching an applicable signing identity were found."
FUCK YOU APPLE!!!!! I've update it a thousand times mother fucker!!1
The SIM card saga goes on:
To verify yourself, you need to go to some postal office and show them your ID and stuff. Not that this is complicated or anything (well actually, it is. Welcome to 2018 in Germany. We use more papers than potheads for the simplest shit), but you need to have a valid ID. Valid as in NOT EXPIRED. What the fuck. Why does my ID expire. Do I stop existing 3 years after getting it? What does it mean if it is, why is it culpable to have your ID expired. And who gets charged for having none, I mean obviously my ID doesn't identify me anymore?
What the hell man. I don't exist for 6 months now. Am I law free as not identifiable entity or how does it work?
And now the real question:
We got something called Bafög in Germany. Basically you get a bit money while studying. (I still work tho, I don't get really much from it.)
To apply for it, you need some tax number, which seemingly can be seen as a proof of my existence and my identity.
Why is this enough, why don't I need a valid ID there?
Germany is weird man. On the one hand government is all social and you get help if you need it but on the other hand you need to sacrifice 17 virigins to apply for said help..3
TL;DR: FFS Microsoft
So yesterday we were at the point in our project where adding a login system seemed like a good idea. This is an asp.net core mvc project and we use Materialize for our frontend.
So according to _the tutorials_ we could start a new project and add authentication in the prompt by pressing a button. As it created the project I thought it seemed nice and easy enough. After it had created the test solution I build it and, sure enough, in the top right corner there were a register and login <a>.
I checked them out and they were your bog standard form input input submit and all. Now I guessed I could look at how it's all programmed aaaaaaaaand
I saw a new folder located at Areas/Identity/Pages which had a _ViewStart.cshtml which contained three lines. There were also a database migration and in Startup.cs there were some database stuff, but other than that? Nothing. So where on earth was the login and register form located? Shit like that is frustrating ya know.
But oh well it seemed to work and I switched to our examn project where I found it was possible to scaffold the login system in a way that seemed nice.
Except, for some reason bootstrap and jquery decided to return to our project. FFS Microsoft!1
This is fucking how you do it!
Ticketmaster UK had a "data security incident" where they don't really know if any data was actually leaked/stolen/"accessed by an unknown third-party" — their response:
1. Disable the compromised service across their platforms
2. Send a mail to any customer that may have been affected (I got one in Danish because I had only interacted with them through a Danish subsidiary)
2b. All notified customers have their passwords reset and must go through the "Forgot password" process; the _temporary_ password they sent me was even pretty nicely random looking: ";~e&+oVX1RQOA`BNe4"
3. Do forensics and security reviews to understand how the data was compromised
3b. Take contact to relevant authorities, credit card companies, and banks
4. Establish a dedicated website (https://security.ticketmaster.co.uk/...) to explain the incident and answer customer questions
5. "We are offering impacted customers a free 12 month identity monitoring service with a leading provider. To request this service please visit [this page]"
EDIT: As mentioned and sourced in the first comment, the breach was apparently noticed by a banking provider and reported to Ticketmaster on the 12th of April and later to Mastercard on the 19th of April.
Ticketmaster's internal investigation found no evidence of breach (which makes sense, as it wasn't an internal breach), but when Mastercard issued an alert to banks about it on the 21st of June, Ticketmaster followed up by finding the actual breach and disabling the breached third party service on the 23rd of June.
I still think they did the right thing in the right way...2
A step aside from one of the answers I ever gave on Stack Overflow, I notice I once made a "jsfiddle".
Already some annoyances...
• When did browsers, uh webkit, decide to fuck every "ul", "menu", and "dir" element with a "-webkit-padding-start" of 40 damn pixels?
• That friggin' fiddly webshite doesn't even force me to HTTPS, bro. Need a reason to fuck yourself in the vulnerable ass?
• Why is it that I can't log in with my tiny four-letter nickname; you identity-fuckers?
Complaining about your colleagues on devRant but ending up showing them the app anyway cuz it's so damn awesome..
I got a SIM card activated for my dad yesterday. Here in SA you need to verify your identity to get the card activated. But the company's systems were offline yesterday while I got it from another distributor of theirs 2 shops over. Now a day later they tell me I have to go and get another one because the one I got won't be activated because of it being offline. Something about it being assigned to me while it is offline makes it not work.
WHAT BULLSHIT? WHO THE HELL CODES THAT TRIPE TO FAIL TWICE AS HARD AS IT SHOULD? IT MAKES NO SENSE IF THE THING IS OFFLINE FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.
And yet, with Telkom's legendary poor service I know the service people are not lying. They just don't know what the hell is going on.
So in my groups project where we use ASP.NET Core MVC where we've needed to add identity. Now I've struggled with this soooo much only for today to get it to work.
The documentation for it (more specifically user roles) isn't very good, and most tutorials basically just do the same thing which has for me thrown exceptions left and right (and I don't even do anything special tbh) without any explanations. But today I finally got it to work, I can seed the database without getting told that there are no service for the RoleManager
Well, this may out my secret identity to devRanters in my area, but I just submitted my first application ever to be a speaker at a local WordPress conference. The title is "The Care and Feeding of Your Web Developer". If you have a wishlist of how you wish working with employers or clients could be better, please comment and I'll work it into my talk. Thanks!
Tunnelbear VPN website (https://www.tunnelbear.com/) is one of the most entertaining websites I've seen recently.
I think I visited every link because I want to check if there is something funny.
"If I do my job well, the identity program will also clean up the image of the company, position it as being contemporary and keep it from ever looking dated." - Saul Bass
Oracle Identity Manger. It just feels soooo unfinished and its just so damn tedious to work with! My god. Should've created the whole thing ourselves instead. The time we've used to fix shit.. #meh