I just had a nightmare.

I never became a developer. Instead I had a normal 9-5, didn't do work at home, slept well and spent my free time on social activities.

It was horrible.

My mom never touched a PC or smartphone. Well, most people didn't back then, because it was the early 90s.

But I brought a borrowed SNES to the hospital and taught her to blow on the Zelda cartridge if it didn't work. She died after we finished the game.

After that my dad bought me a commodore 64, the machine that taught me about electronics and programming, and molded me into who I am today.

On the first date with my girlfriend (now 12y together) we just sat talking for hours in her room, playing Zelda on her SNES taking turns, and I told her my mom would have liked her.

Recruiter: Why you choose this company to work with?

Me: I didn't choose it, I have other interviews.

Recruiter: So why we should hire you?

Me: So I can pay my bills.

An old client reappeared the other day wanting his Flash website updated to HTML5. He didn't want to pay because "It is exactly the same, just needs to work on tablets.".

One time I wanted to use my mouse and it didn't work, the light was on and everything seemed normal, I flipped it upside down and I found a troll face sticker on the laser led ...

So a user reported they couldn't login to our site, so I reset their password to:

uI+ffRT7M2NAzo8uOqzf4QxO3I9tj8PJ4TS0n8zDV7I

And sent them back an email with the updated password. A few minutes later, they replied and said that password didn't work. They even tried a different web browser, etc. I tried it myself, and sure enough, it didn't work.

I spent the next several hours trying to figure out why the password didn't save properly, or why the logic didn't compare them correctly. Perhaps it was some sort of caching issue? Oh the horror.

As it turns out, the problem was a maxlength of 28 on the login form field:

<input type="password" name="password" value="" maxlength="28"/>

I don't know who wrote that code, but it sure wasn't me.

Had this a few weeks ago. A customer send an email telling that her emails didn't load anymore in the web interface.

Fair enough, tested it and indeed, no emails while there were definitely emails on the server and nothing in the logs or anything.

Replied saying that I'd look into it.

Few hours later she messaged back all happy about it working again and thanking me so much for all the effort I put into getting it to work again!

My thought at that moment: "oh shit completely forgot about that ticket... Wait it's working again? Oo I didn't do anything... 😅"

Love it how some things just solve themselves haha

User: oh! An error message.

Message : Problem XY has occurred. Do YX to fix the problem.

User: Ok I try everything except what it says. ...
Ok that didn't work. I ask the IT

IT: Have you tried what it says?

User: no I didn't know ...

IT:ok do it.

User: 0.o It worked! why do we pay you if it is so easy?

Every goddamn time 🤦🏻‍♂️

I woke up today with my power off, dad forgot to pay the bill

WTF.jpg

I get home from work all stoked to code to learn that he didn't get it straightened out

Phones on 10% so i cant even read pdfs or surf Kodi

And im spending the last bit of electricity i own to bitch about it

Pay your bills devs

Was struggling with depression and stress for an extended period. So, naturally, I had more sickdays than average.
However, I was still managing to overperform on my goals, so when it came time to discuss salary I was hopeful.

Didn't get a raise, not even a pat on the back. My manager told me he couldn't justify giving me the raise I had earned simply because I had had too many sick days. So my actual performance didn't count. Everybody else got raises though.

On a previous occasion he told me that I had to 'Learn what it means to have a job' and get my priorities straight. I told him I already had very little social life so I could spend what little energy I had on work. I tried to explain to him how depression works and he assured me he understood.

Yeah, right. My colleague with back problems, who suddenly couldn't walk, didn't get that treatment.

Depression is real. I'm so glad they ended up firing me so I could work for a place that cares.

Wrote JavaScript today and it didn't work in chrome and Firefox but it worked fine in IE...I instantly knew I did something wrong.

The new IT lady of my previous company told me this:

"Hi, the Internet is not working"

"ok, did you make any recent changes to the router?"

"I didn't touch the router. I removed the switch in between so the internet should still work"

"You removed the switch"

"yeah but I didn't touch the router so what's the problem blah blah blah"

🙄

I am currently at vacation and staying at a campsite.
There is a WLAN called 'Seecamping1'.
Well I had to try cracking their password...
First attempt: The name of the WLAN, didn't work.
Second attempt: 1234567890

...

Guess what.
It worked lol

Ok, so I don't work yet and so I've never had to deal with any clients but based on the rants i have read this is how stupid I imagine most of them are.

Dev: Hey, would you like a chocolate bar?
Client: Yeah, sure.
Dev: here:
*hands chocolate bar over*
*client holds it in his hands, opens it and eats it*
Client: Tastes great
Dev: Ok, nice. So about the payment of the project...
*Clients face is swollen and he falls to the ground*
Dev: uhh, what are you doing?
Client *coughing*: Were.. were there nuts in the chocolate bar?
Dev: uhmm, yes. didn't you look at it?
Client: why didn't you tell me??!?!?!? I am allergic to nuts!!
Dev: uhh, I didn't know that. But srsly, did you not look at the wrapping of the fucking chocolate bar??!
Client: I am going to sue you!! You will go to prison!
Dev: Fuck off *leaves the room*

Image of the chocolate bar:

A co-worker/friend came in to work this morning and told me how amazing his interview went yesterday and how amazing the company is. He said he won't know if he got the position till Monday after they interview the other guy.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that the other person they are interviewing is me. I think it might get awkward when Monday comes and I'm not at work and he realizes why.

So, been at a 4* hotel for the first time. And in their relax lounge, they had an iMac.
There was nothing wrong with it... Until I rebooted it.

Edit: It appears they did it for a proprietary hotel software of some sort that only runs on Windows... But... It didn't really work either, so 10/10.

After trying to explain a problem I was facing at work to a Non-Dev friend of mine

Non-Dev Friend: Why did you even choose to become a developer in the first place?

Me: I didn't choose coding, it choose me!

*Programers can't spell*

In a previous job, I once spelled inquiries as enquiries. It was a service and it was used in many places throughout the app. Somehow, it made it through peer review and even my teammates started using the misspelled word.

I didn't realize my mistake till months later and by that time I thought it was too much work to fix it (or I was too lazy).

I'm pretty sure we even misspelled it for the on-screen texts.

Moral of the Story: know how to spell shit

So this was only a few weeks ago. A client told us to turn our Android/iOS app into an app compatible with his phone - it needed to work online/offline and it needed to be able to take photographs. We didn't have much to go on but after a few calls we figured out he was using a very old Nokia (Snake era) that didn't even have a camera.

The hardest part was getting him to understand why we couldn't make the app.

Hands up, who actually uses this shit?

Seriously, this is one of the most innovative apps I've used in the past year. The developer must be having fun torturing hundreds of people every day. But fuck this shit, it works (and most alarm clocks didn't work for me)

Story time :
Sometime ago I posted a video on YouTube on how to root a particular phone that was lying around at home. I was trying to demonstrate one of those "one-tap root" apps that were plentiful in the market. It so happened that one specific version of Framaroot and one particular method of exploit works for that device. I even verified this by trying different versions and it didn't work. So in the description it was mentioned to use ONLY this version that worked. Few days later there were atleast 5 dislikes and comments that it didn't work on some other version.
Seriously?
That's how I understood how stupid and dumb people can get.

The idea was simple. Create a div.
Add two 50% div's inside. Float them. Add clearfix to parent.

Everything was fine.

Noticed that one of the childs had a height bigger than the other. But due to an adaptive design, setting static heights did not work.

Simple fix. Add a height to parent div and set overflow-y to hidden.

It didn't work.

Tried using the legendary !Important (a.k.a. not important but important.) Didn't work. Set position to relative, set static height. Set the childs to absolute position with height 100%. Problem solved.

No. It. Didn't. Fucking. Work.

Tried every possible css combination could could fucking think off.

After 15 minutes (8 hours in dev-stress mode) realized the clearfix changed the div DISPLAY TO FUCKING TABLE. A TABLE. FUCKING TABLES CANT HAVE FUCKING HEIGHTS FUCK.

Anyway. 6 years after my first clearfix. I learnt something new about the code that saves my life every project.

Yesterday I installed windows on the laptop of my parents. I thought no biggie I'm just going to do something else while it installs. AND THEN IT STARTS TALKING. WTF!!!

Also it said I can turn the voice of BUT THE FUCKING BUTTON DIDN'T WORK.

I hate windows.

!rant

At my last job, my boss would constantly tear my work apart, belittle me and patronise me. He didn't really understand web development and just wanted to hire someone to do it for him. I ended up burning out and he persuaded me to quit because of it cause he didn't want to go through the whole disciplinary process (because he had no real reason).

A year later, and I've had my first review with my current boss, who's also a developer. He said he's learned a lot from me, I've helped the business and the junior devs grow; and that he struck gold in hiring me. I've got no feelings of burnout and I actually enjoy going to work now.

I'll be the first person to say that I'm not the best developer on my team and my new boss was probably exaggerating with me a little bit, but it goes to show that the people you work with are some of the most important people in your life.

The security blog is up again, I fixed the bug.

Just wondering, why did it work in the first place? I simply required a composer autoloader twice but I've been doing that from the beginning and it didn't play up until last night...

I guess it shall remain a mistery 😞

Today at college our professor was dictating Debain update command - "sudo apt-get update"

Person next to me complained it didn't work for him. Peeped into his screen to see - "pseudo apt-get update"

WTF - I discovered that wasps listen to me!

Earlier when one came in, I tried to catch it with a glass and release it, or kill it if that wasn't feasible. This year, I tried pointing to the window and ordering "get out!" just because I was too lazy to take action. Of course, I didn't expect it to work, but it did. I thought it was only a coincidence, so I kept trying it. It works every single time!

Crazy shit!

At a game dev class. Class starts and everyone is already doing something and I don't know what. I hear the some guy telling us about what to do with those "assets he sent us". Apparently everyone got a mail with the assets we'll be using and an instruction video for the day. Everyone but me, that is. I call the guy over and I tell him I didn't get the email. "Well why didn't you get the email?" HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW? You didn't tell us we'd be getting one so I couldn't exactly tell you to resend it. So now I'm just sitting here watching the rest of them work awkwardly...(first rant btw)

Mac: you have to reboot for updates

Me: ok

Mac: ... ... (It didn't start anymore)

Work project was there and I did not push :(

Sent a corrupt .rar file to a client's nephew/cousin to upload on their server (he managed the hosting account) in a bid to buy myself some time to finish the project. It worked! I was given the login details to upload the work myself the next morning. They didn't understand Git.

Managers: fullStackClown!!!! The image uploader on the dashboard at <insert 3rd party service here> isn't working!!!!!

fullStackClown: Yeah? What do you want me to do about it?

Managers: Well, fix it!

fullStackClown: ... * sigh * Well, in case you didn't realize, I don't work at <insert 3rd party service here>, so... unless you want me to go work for them instead of you absolute clowns (which I dream about daily), I cannot help you further in this matter.

Managers: ...

fullStackClown: ...

Kill me. 🤡

Same situation as my previous rant.

Was building the dynamic page loader thing (basically mvc part) but it just DIDN'T FUCKING WORK.

As a last resort I chose the views to render based on a few if-else's 😅

Hacky as hell but it saved me from doom!

Solving Errors:
Code it.
Doesn't do anything, no errors in console.
Try again.
Doesn't work.
*Realizes that you didn't call the function*
ffs

Today I made like the dirtiest hack I ever made. I needed to convert people's birthdate into days (starting from 0), and then had to find out the oldest person. It didn't work, because the output was the youngest person... So instead fixing the mistakes in my code, I simply made the value be negative ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

noob misconception #378: during my first internship the summer after my freshman year, i was under the impression that if i used 1000 threads, my job would finish 1000 times faster. needless to say, my machine crashed in a second, and my manager thought i was an idiot when i was surprised it didn't work

I got a urgent call from a lead dev in another department. Needed data and services and her deadline was yesterday. I never heard of it, but worked late and got it done in 2 days. Delivery success, they had cake, speeches and praised my work apparently... I wasn't invited and didn't get any cake.

So a few months ago I started dating. I love my girlfriend with all my heart, but something has been bothering me a bit. I can no longer easily do my day-to-day work. Whereas previously I would be productive at any time I want, now it's more of a "I can work whenever she wants to work". It's hard to balance and even harder to actually get to it.

Previously I would stay with her during the day, and then wake up in the night to do all the household chores, learn her language and if I can get to it, even improve some of my shitty code. Needless to say, she didn't like that I didn't sleep with her and it's not exactly healthy either - I barely slept at all.

How do you balance work/relationship without throwing sleep time in the mix? Both work and girlfriend are at home for me.

For my school project that was due awhile back my group ran into the problem of a certain feature not working on a site we made. I had a test version of the site and it was working perfectly. Both the test version and the project site had the exact same code. We couldn't figure out why it wasn't working and so we just turned it in and took the point hit.

Today I was thinking about it because I was still annoyed/upset that the site feature didn't work. I started talking it through with a friend and in the middle of it stopped-I figured out why it didn't work. My teammate didn't actually update the database, he just downloaded the code to the database and was using an outdated version of it. I suddenly stood up and screamed, "F***!" At the top of my lungs.

I startled my friend so bad that she spilt beer all over herself.

Work: there is little work for our freelancer we're getting rid of him at the end of the year
Me: are you sure, that will put a lot of work on my schedule.
Work: I'm sure you can handle it
*two weeks later*
Work: have you finished feature xyz yet
Me: nope had a server crash today so pushed it back
Work: why didn't you get "free lancers name here" to do it for you
Me: I could of if you didn't fire him, he could of also done the other features you want too
Work: ah ok

On call this week, so I answered the phone when it rang, because it's my d job, but WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING ME AT 0410 MY TIME WHEN MY COWORKER IS ON THE CLOCK AT 0710 HIS TIME AND HE'S ABLE TO TAKE THE CALL?! You didn't need me. It was the same issue as yesterday, BUT I DIDN'T FIX A DAMN THING. It resolved itself. The "customer" you had on the phone to work with me to resolve the issue didn't need to be called either, just the application dev. Stop calling people who don't need to be awake just because we were the ones on the call when it self-resolved and none of us know what's going on.

Things you hear from developers 5 minutes before demo to the whole Management Board.

- "... Does this button work... Nope... Oh well..."
- "What the hell is THAT!?"
- "Um... Is it supposed to look like this?"
- "Please tell me you didn't just merge this!?!"

Don't do like my work supervisor:

Step 1:
*gives task*
Me, starts working on task early in the morning
*task requires his interfering, and is stalled without it*
Me, messages supervisor

Step 2:
*supervisor takes the whole work day to reply, saying that he didn't have time to look into it*

Step 3:
Me, does almost nothing at work the whole day; closes laptop upon seeing the message of the supervisor

Step 4:
Profit: go home early

Yesterday ... well no, today it was, I couldn't go to sleep because my brain couldn't stop thinking about solutions for this problem I had and I literally got up from bed and went to my computer to test my ideas. It still didn't work and eventually I got so tired that I went back to bed, I was still thinking about solutions when I fell asleep.

I tried to do a sudoku solver, but it didn't work...

I wanted it to succeed without backtracking or bruteforce, so I tried solving it in a human way.

I ended up with some if-else AI that couldn't do anything at all

Not a rant, just a tought:

I was thinking, how amazing is to work at software industry, I mean, is there any other field of work where you can start without knowing little to nothing of the thing you are going to work with?
Got hired to work with a friend of mine in his uncle's company, started as a technician, providing support to clients, after that, started coding little windows applications using c#, even tought, I didn't know shit about it, time passed and we needed a mobile application, then when I realized I was already coding for Android in Java even though I didn't know nothing about it too.

It's just, you can do whatever you want if you will... It's amazing! I love doing what I do.

If ever your code breaks, just utter these words and it will magically fix itself:

"Wtf. Hey [coworker name], Can you sanity check this code? I don't know why this segfaults! It looks fine but you just run it and it bre- oh wait... I swear it didn't work a minute ago."

When you work for a long while in a convoluted piece of code and then compile and it just works...

*wink, wink*

Then you spend another 30 minutes going through the code in disbelief trying to figure out why it didn't break 😵

I just had a nightmare.

I never became a developer. Instead I had a normal 9-5, didn't do work at home, slept well and spent my free time on social activities.

It was horrible.

!rant
I'm an idiot. I freely admit this. I spent a solid 3 hours on a new endpoint in a WCF service, only to have it looked upon and told to fix it. I knew that the service I was calling didn't work like that. I did, I knew it. I didn't think about it while coding the endpoint, but I knew it. At least the changes only needed to happen in one file, and only took about 25 minutes with tests and all. But damn it, I knew better. I looked at my buddy, straight in the eye, and told him "Told you I was an idiot." He laughed, I laughed, the table laughed, we killed the table. It was a great time!

In my first year of college right now, and on the first test we had to write some C# ConsoleApplications. We got instructions of what we have to taken as input, what we had to do with it and output it to the console.

I've tested them all and they all work correctly, which was the main objective. I have used the correct data structures, but I didn't get top mark. Instead, I got lower because "I didn't do it her way".

WELL F*CK YOU TOO!!! I hope this is not how every test/exam goes

fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUCCCKKK FUCKING FUUUCKKKBKB

if you gave me a feature that has 2^5 posible output, but didn't give me all the possible inputs AND expect me to finish it for this thursday, THEN DONT GIVE ME EXTRA JOB ON A DRIVER THAT DOESNT WORK. FUCK

Quitting my last job. I had been there for about 3 years and had a great time there.

It was only my boss and I, we were developing software and websites for events so we were quite often out meeting and partying with people, it kinda became a part of the job. We had a fridge always stacked with beer and champagne which was for us and our friends to use. The office was located in the middle of the most exclusive business and club district in the city, so I could use the office as I wanted during evenings to meet up with friends and drinking beer.

But it was expected to work a lot of overtime. I was single and young and really liked what I was doing so I didn't mind. But then I met the love of my life and started to spend more time with her. I couldn't stay and work as often and would rather be with her on weekends.

It became quite hard to live up to my boss's expectations and it always felt like I disappointed him if I didn't (or couldn't) stay for an after work, and when I did, it felt like I disappointed my new girlfriend instead.

Ultimately I felt I had to choose one of them, or I would definitely loose her. It was a no-brainer since I knew I couldn't keep working like that forever, and didn't want to risque a relationship because of work.
It took all of my courage to do it and I felt so bad because I knew my boss (and my friend) would feel like I betrayed him, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

I can still miss it sometimes, but I don't regret it.

At my previous employer my boss asked me how long a project would take. Told him about a week maybe two. He then informed me it was due that day. Apparently the client gave it to him months ago. I worked a 35 hour weekend to make it happen. Then he complained that my weekly time sheet was higher than normal. He didn't think it was accurate and underpaid me. So glad I got out of agency work.

My wife's phone started having power button issues. Then it broke completely with spastic random presses, causing the phone to boot loop. It's a 3 year old Nexus 5 so I was mostly concerned with backing things up, not rescuing it.

Cleaning didn't work, tapping the switch didn't work. This hack worked.

Backup complete.

CSS Grid isn't working propperly so I am trying to debug it for a complete day.

It turns out that I have misspelled a grid-area name and thats why it didn't work :(

In my country, almost every college student is expected to finish their degree and apply for an internship, with some universities forcing them to do it and making it a requirement to finish their studies.

Now, this wouldn't be so bad if almost every internship employer in the country didn't expect you to work for free. Seriously, I can estimate 80% of the internships pay you NOTHING. WTF.

Fortunately this is not the case for CS, but every time I tell somebody I recently started an internship, they will ask me: "Oh, but they don't pay you anything, do they?". Of course they pay me! I wouldn't be going to an office every day for 4 hours to do someone else's work if they didn't!!

Why the fuck is it even legal to employ somebody and not pay them a cent, just because "it will look good on your resume"?? And why do people still accept this shit??

Is is like that on other countries as well?

"Get a job doing what you love, you'll never work a day in your life" they said

What they didn't tell us is that it would lead us to babysitting/troubleshooting continuous deployments at 3 am on a Sunday with a black Irish coffee and a manic look on our faces

There has probably not been any situation when I would feel more stupid than now.
I just did a refresh of windows. It means quite a lot of work, as I need to do all the WSL related config and so on.
And I did it because I'm an extremely smart man and I didn't check that my primary screen was turned off.
I WONDER WHY I COULDN'T SEE SHIT

One fine day, at work, I was doing one of my favourite things.

git push origin test:mainline

And it prompted for my credentials. I gave them and continued as per yooozh..

What I didn't realise then was that I had used my personal github credentials instead of my official account's!

Oops.

Day 3 - and no one has noticed yet...

When it's Friday night, you didn't bring you work laptop home with you, have no way of working from home without it, and remember something that might be wrong with your code.
I'm sure I'll forget about it tomorrow.

"I don't want to offend you but well clearly you're not an artist. "

From the client i tell repeatedly "Web design is not my strong point so if there is a design you want we should bring on a designer"

And actually i was an artist. But i didn't like all the subjective criticism. Criticise my code when it doesn't work. I didn't ever sell you Web design

I spent a *very* long time trying to work out why my README file wasn't formatting....

It didn't have a .md extension.
:/

Not ONLY does the new code a coworker wrote straight up not work (and they somehow managed to merge it to master) but it also broke an entirely unrelated endpoint due to an abstraction they tried to make. Very clear they didn't even run their code at all.

I work in a corporate, and we are required to complete 10 hours worth of training every quarter. Systems don't have admin rights and we can't install anything on our own.

This is what I mailed to the coordinator after to and fro of a few mails. He initially suggested clearing browser cache, when it didn't work, I raised an IT ticket to get it updated. Didn't fuckin work.
Damn you, you hippo fucking imbeciles. I mean who the fuck in their right state of mind would have the audacity to recommend using flash. Absolute cunts ☠ 👿

Oh don't worry I just wasted a whole day, it's not like I had homework to do, projects to finish and VM's to install and I busted my sick ass trying to make it all work on my Linux machine which is now tainted with software I didn't even want to install and useless docs while having a 105 fever. It's all fucking worth it because at the end, of the next day, oh wait...you didn't even install the updates properly, fuck you windows! I swear the first thing I'll do after graduation will be getting rid of you!!

Me: *finds exploit in site at work*
Developer of site: "You talk bs"
Me: "lemme show ya"

While I was trying to demo it, the guy quickly patched it xD (making it look as if it didn't work in the first place)

Good idea:
Making your own framework so you have control over it and your projects

Bad idea:
Making your own closed framework rendering Google and SO useless

Context: the company I work for creates their products using their own framework, it works well and allows for things other framework didn't think about, any error coming from it cannot be searched for since it's only used internally.

Just finished my third year of my comp sci degree when a friend found me a position at a very small startup. I was asked to build a web crawler to take job postings off kijiji and craigslist and place them in our database for our clients to find. It didn't take long to build (even with limited experience). It was pretty shady. I didn't think i'd have to deal with the ethics of a task so soon in my new dev-life! Luckily it never made it to the live site. After that they got me to work on their android app (not so shady)

4 years later i still work for that company building apps. It's still a small team, and i love 'em 🤙

What's the best tool you didn't know you were missing, but could not work without it now

Okay karma, why?!

I made some backup scripts, it should dump our MongoDB every 30 Minutes... Nope I didn't test if there's something in the tar and yes it's my fault but now we needed this backup AND THE ONLY BACKUP SCRIPT WHICH DIDN'T WORK WAS THE ONE WHICH BACKUPS THE DATABASE...

COME OOOOON

Holy shit, today I was the first person to arrive at work... And then the alarm came on... I didn't knew the code 😅 sooooo a panic phone call later, I turned it off but holy Shit... I've never had this rush this early of the day

This morning I turned on my PC at work...
Only to be greeted by a finishing your Windows upgrade message.
It took fucking windows HALF AN HOUR to finish the upgrade.
After that my machine lost its built in cam, mic and speaker. Which I need for my work.
Took me two hours to hunt down the correct driver to install and find the info it must be installed in Win7 compatibility mode or it won't work. It was pure joy to install it plain first and it still didn't work.
Then VirtualBox refused to start. Took me half an hour to upgrade it and get it working again.
Took me half a day to just get the shitmachine working like it did yesterday so that I can START working.

So, dear Microsoft:
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
wait for it...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
FUCK YOU!
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
sincerely

(And don't give me this "use Linux" crap, I have to use Windows for my work.)

Had a recruiter say I was saying "wasting his time" by constantly declining job opportunities he sent via email (it was a mass email too). Another recruiter started questioning why I didn't work for this other company that didn't seem to have technology as a decent focus at its core. I'm honestly done with recruiters.

I was hoping to work on my project this weekend. Turns out, the kindergarten gave all the parents a task - to make a Christmas-y house with their child.

Damn it!!

Well, I didn't work on my project, no doubt about that. But I found some other place to overengineer the shit out of it. And, frankly, I LOVED it.

2 days wasted. Not even sorry.

EDIT: all the materials are from the trash bin. That makes it even more fun!
EDIT2: Paint job is my wife's :) I'm too sloppy for it.

Ooh come on .... The fluecent tube of our bathroom mirror was broken. So my girlfriend bought a new one. Still didn't work. So it must be the starters. Nope they work. So I took the damn thing apart completely and ripped out the PCB and meassured every transistor, diode and capacitor. And even replaced one that gave some fishy values just in case. Still didn't work. Then I opened the side door of this mirror and found a switch that I must have switched off by accident ... Switched on: lights on 🤔🤗😌

It wasn't me in the interview and it wasn't really an interview at all but here we go. I worked for a pretty shit company this past summer as a paid internship and while I was there they fired a Dev because he complained about how he didn't get a BMW i8 and they had to hire new help. So instead of doing a regular interview what they did was call people in and just have them work. Like no joke from 7-4pm they just did the job the didn't get yet. They also expected them to know how to work in there system. It was a WordPress development company and they had custom plugins and themes that they just expected people to know.

Also they said they would pay them for their work but I don't think they did, there were maybe 8 different people over a week who probably just worked for free.

Driving to a family friend after work to check his wifi connection issues.

Turns out that she didn't knew about the hardware switch to turn it on and off again... 😏

"Did you really buy a macbook to put ubuntu on it?"
"Wow why would you use such an overpriced piece of garbage just to put linux on it?'
"You made the worst choice of hardware to put ubuntu on"

Maybe, just maybe, I didn't fucking buy it myself and I got it from work? Maybe I didn't fucking pay a dime to get a laptop to put ubuntu on it? Ever considered that I got it for fucking free and have the privilege to do what I want with it?

Go fuck yourself if your first assumption is that I would actually buy a macbook just to erase MacOS from it

HOW TO PROGRAM(in four easy steps) :

1. Google the F*cking Problem.
2. Open a Stackoverflow link.
3. Copy and paste the code.
4. If it didn't work, goto step 2.
If it did work, goto step 1
(you didn't think you were done.. did you?)

FAQ
Q: What if there is no code?
A: Then it is impossible.

OK, I love Linux. But I hate the whole "sacrifice-functionality-so-it-can-be-completely-free-and-open-source" thing.

I tried to install Linux a while back on my old laptop, and getting Wi-Fi to work was a nightmare. Apparently they didn't have the right driver for my Wi-Fi card, because it wasn't "free" enough for them. ugh. Most people prefer for their computer to WORK than for every single piece of code to be open source. Who modifies their Wi-Fi driver and redistributes it?

Ugh. Linux is cool, but not this part.

We actually had a small "code on paper" test (more like a recap test) yesterday, but we didn't have to write much rather than just have a basic understanding how classes and instances of those work. It was like 6 small lines of code to insert. I don't mind coding on paper as long as you don't have to write a big program with it as a 1-hour test.

Question I get a lot from my grandfather.. "So you still work for that company?". Yup, worked last week, and still working.. Still didn't fire me, and then I have to explain that it IS an ACTUAL JOB AND I GET PAID..

My mom woke me up at 6am because the tv sound was not working..
I tried almost everything, use the tv control, mute button, menu tv configuration..
even checked different inputs using my Nintendo switch and super Nintendo's and it didn't work..
Couldnt do shit.. so I had to use the old reliable!
turned off the tv and then turned on ..
It was like magic! fuck everything!

i made a mock code that wouldn't close to prank my colleagues. this boy tried the x button and it didn't work, so he went for ctrl alt del and the pop up showed up to confirm and when pressing yes it still wouldn't close

I spent hours figuring out why my html5 video autoplay didn't work on Android. I muted it like they said, I tried many different ways to play it, even with a 3rd party video player, nothing worked. It's actually because my Google Chrome was on data-saving mode. Motherfuck.

Yesterday my cousin called me to fix his scanner, he said that it didn't work anymore. When i went to his house to check it out, the scanner worked properly! In the 99% of cases, the problem is between the device and the chair

My PM frequently asked me what I'm doing as a Programmer in my Team because he wants to understand us better - I first started out explaining him every Detail of our work - he didn't get it - I then simplified it and told him We are creating the functionality and Gameplay features - he didn't get it. I then finished our conversations with telling him what I do like that "I drink coffee and I know things" - he was satisfied and I could work on

Fuck. The entire day to do this shit.
The screen was my first experiment, but because of a bad module (i2c) it didn't worked.
Today I finnaly got it to work.
Starting making everything almost like in the picture, everything mounted (and lots of black hot glue, no wires showing...
Didn't work.
One hour breaking everything apart without damaging the screen... Was a loose wire.
Started again... Didn't work...
The pot is also damaged, sometimes it works, others need to turn it hard.
New pot.
New set of wires.
Soldering everything right, testing all wires so no mistakes this time... But it takes so longgggg... Making everything in modules this time (to reuse without having to sordering again. And finally... It works.
By this time I should have 3 or 4 learning projects finish (I really wanted the screen to adapt all output in text, no serial, no blinking less, everything in modules, code prepared so, when I get my 40+ packages from China I already have a prototype tester ready.
10 hours... Fuck I'm really addicted, or else I would just solder everything together :D

Here's a weird gripe: sometimes I wish I loved my job less. It stresses me out but I didn't work at all this weekend and sitting down at my desk early Monday morning I realized I missed it.

I WANT TO SAY A BIG *FUCK YOU* TO SYNCFUSION FOR OFFERING NUGETS BUT NOT MAKING IT CLEAR THAT YOU NEED TO PAY AN $1,000 LICENSE TO GET ITS CONTROLS TO WORK SO YOU WASTE A LOT OF TIME WONDERING WHY THEY DON'T WORK, AND THEIR DOCUMENTATION IS THE SHITS, AND THEN 4 HOURS LATER YOU REALIZE THAT THE REASON THEY DON'T WORK IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN USING THE DEMO VERSION. SO, SYNCFUSION... *FUCK YOU* WITH ALL MY MIGHT. AND IN CASE YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME *FUCK YOU* ONE MORE TIME!! BITCH!

So my uncle just bought an old hp server round that he didn't use at work anymore and I have no fucking clue what to do with it 😂

So I work on Embedded System. While working on my project I was drinking water from bottle.

And kept it near my laptop.

Just there all my circuits were open. Connected via USB with my laptop.
And while working I tried grab the bottle and guess what?
Yeah, It fell. But thankfully it didn't touch any of my circuits. If it did!!!!

I was frozen on spot.
Phew!!

*has a test in school on html and javascript*
*Studies a lot and checks to see if code works*
*it works*
*goes into test confident*
*None of the Javascript works* (legit nothing)
Kill me

So today Windows Explorer crashed and so my task bar didn't work. I open task manager, selected the process and pressed restart only for it to take out my whole desktop...

Just what I wanted it to do... Thank you... -_-

Fuck this piece of shit that calls itself a Macbook Pro. Bought myself a Mac in 2011 because I wanted something durable. Spent 2k € on it. Now its more annoying thany any Windows machine I ever had because I have this fucking GPU glitch that Keeps. Crashing. My. Machine. I cant work that way.
Yeah, already had it repaired. Didn't work. Use gfxCardStatus to keep it on integrated. Doesnt work. Well, I coud just buy a new one, couldn't I? Fuck Apple, fuck you.

I JUST SPENT A PAINFUL TWO HOURS TRYING TO FIND OUR WHY MY EXCEPTIONS WERE BEING THROWN AFTER EVERY SINGLE INPUT THE USER ENTERED...

I commented out the try catch, it worked, I commented out the throw and it worked, so I uncommented them both and it worked again? WHY DIDN'T IT WORK BEFORE Y U DO DIS

colleague: *does 2 months over making a feature and still didn't get it to work*
me: "this is taking too long, we want to get our new version rolling"
me: *gets it working within 2 hours*

IBM, because I work in there.
Well maybe it wouldn't be as bad if I didn't work at command centre. From the beginning I did my best to get a promotion, but it resulted in me having shitton of workload and no raise. Maybe it's just shitty management tho. But still.

it was my first job as an embedded engineer i was hired to write firmware for arm microcontroller that has ble radio. But the microcontroller we used didn't have FLASH it had a SRAM and an otp ( one time programmable) memory. In ble you can make a proximity beacon and When a phone passes by this beacon it will get a notification '<device_name> nearby'
. I thought it is funny if i keep device name 'MILF' (original name of device is FLIP ) so when somebody's phone is in proximity it will have a notification 'MILF nearby'. joke didn't work as nobody has their bluetooth switched on by default ,but i forgot to change it before programming otp memory.

i just buried that device and told everyone it is not working properly

Tried to make my qr code look fancy, and it didn't turn out well. My guess is the main part of the qr code must be darker than the complementary part?

(The one in the image doesn't work)

So, the other day, I was working on a Angular Web app which included the YouTube Api. In the event listener, I wrote that when a video ended, a next one would start (from our database).
Guess what. It didn't work.
Then, I wrote a console.log();
It freaking worked! Then, I removed the console.log. It didn't. I tested cases for like half an hour and it still baffles me, why the hell would an output change everything?
devGod works on mysterious ways...

You ever spend a few weeks on a problem. Make little headway on it then get distracted and forget about it for 2 months only to comeback and fix/finish the entire thing in a handful of hours.

That was me today. Could not get something to work back in March. Didn't touch it till today. And just magically I knew what I was doing wrong before

The week where you have so much to do on different projects, that even if you manage to work on all od them a bit it feels like nothing has been accomplished.
The point of being so tired that even the mildest sickness feels rediculously awful.

And it's friday. I manged to do some work for one of my bosses but the work I want to do didn't really get done and now I have two meetings in which I can say I started doing xyz but couldn't finish it due to bugs and exhaustion. And for the other project I wrote documentation.
Well.
T_T

!dev

I'm checking out at Walgreens right now and have an item with a security device on it. The cashier just took a pair of scissors to it. Didn't work obviously and now I think she's trying to rip the cords off the box

!Dev

So Malaysian government decided to say this in the press conference on Covid19 increased cases and quote "I didn't failed, is just I didn't get it to work."

And now my friend's brother who failed the exam try to convince his parent , by telling them "I didn't failed the exam , is just I didn't pass the exam ."

I genuinely think that Malaysian government is copying Joel Osteen.

I told my client that I'm attending a conference and I'm out for few days.
He wished me well.
He then proceeded to write me messages and emails each day to "make sure" if I didn't work on his shitty website.

I can't do it anymore I'd love to finish this and ditch him asap...

GWT.
Let me explain:
Tl;dr : someone fucked up, I took shit, it was a gwt project. In a sense I don't hate GWT because of the framework itself but because how I was introduced and forced to "work" with it.

Context:
Was working as a paid intern at a small company there were 3 devs 2 interns and one senior employee that only worked from home handling the shit ton of legacy VB6 code he wrote over several year and a boss with no technical knowledge. (Other unimportant people as well)
I was working with their DBA (cool dude) because I was writing statistic and report generating software.

Story:
The other intern was tasked of doing a gwt app that was supposed to use a input file.
Rather than asking the user to upload it with a file picker (I guess they exist in gwt I didn't got to dig in the framework) he was trying to load the file with a http request directed at the same host the app was running on.
It did not work.
Then his contract was other and the app was left in an unfinished state.
The boss then tried to have the app deployed, the remaining dev dodged the bullet invoking some bullshit because he was clearly incapable of doing it.
So it fell on me, couldn't deploy the app because it was not even close to working.
Tried to fix things and make it work.
Turns out he thought it would take me 3h to deploy when I clearly explained that the other guy didn't finish the app.
Boss got mad, threatened to ruin my studies and my future career.
Couldn't because my uni had my back.
Didn't want to see me anymore.
Couldn't break my contract.
Told me to work from home for the end of my internship.
I got 3 weeks early vacation and got paid, fuck him, fuck GWT, fuck his company.
Still got well marked for the internship as my supervisor was the DBA who was happy with my work.

Morality:
Don't let your intern unsupervised, don't let your main dev work from home when you don't know shit, don't piss me off and send me work from home.

qa: so yesterday we found some bug, not really related to you but <boss> told me to put it on you
me: yeah, when he doesn't, this dick didn't work since I came

*later this day at ~15:00*
boss: so I'm going home, you **must** deal with this bug today, your algo doesn't work.
me: it did 2 days ago didn't it? did you even check the bug?
boss: yeah
me: did you check for regression or just said to put it on me?
boss: nope
me: did you check the changes of the new guy?
boss: nope
me : so why the fuck blame my code?!

*17:10 I'm going home no regression, new guys code deadlocks, not a single fuck thrown*

tell my boss on Friday that I'll work through the weekend to get done work done on some python code.

he doesn't give out vpn access so I can't use our company git so I put the project on a flash drive to work on.

come into work and I have an email. on Sunday he did everything I said I was doing (and had done) and then refactors the entire repo so even if he hadn't done the work, all of what I did became useless.

His way is the only way. but good luck getting him to tell you how he wants it. you just have to do a bunch of work only for him to tell you he doesn't like the way you did things and then he does it himself.

makes me realize why their other programmers didn't stick around. because they had to work so closely with this guy.

glad I started looking for other jobs sooner then later.

Client calls me requesting a new simple feature.
Connect to FTP server.
Edit some PHP pages and upload them back, check if the changes actually worked.

Basically implementing and testing a new feature on a live production website...

PS. It didn't work the first or second time

Had to fill in the internship report for one of my interns...
He didn't look too happy after I handed it to him :^)

For those wondering: All he did was gaming and instead of showing initiative, he just went back to gaming when something didn't work.

I estimate by guessing how long it will take me to code then multiply it by 3 and round up to the whole unit.

10-30min work = 1 day
2 day work = 1wk
1wk work = 2-3wks
1month = 3 months

If only I didn't have to deal with other people that take forever....

That and I feel lately whenever my boss ask me for a "quick" change or feature... I literally have to go "down boy down, stop thinking your in a candy store" like he's a little kid.

It's important to redo old projects and ideas, here is why:

I worked on a project about 6 months ago, it was mostly just a "coding challenge" and I worked on the project for 3 days and I didn't get it to work. But I started working on the project again from scratch 2 days ago and I got it to work this time!

The moral of this story:
Just making new projects makes it hard to see how much you've grown and improved. But redoing old projects (even if they worked) gives you a concrete representation on how much you've improved (and if you have at all😉)

Pirated MS office was so much better than the paid one. I never once had a banner pop-up and tell me that i didn't have a license 😖

Now, that i do have the license, the banner has made it a habit to pop-up whenever i work on something important 🤦

Went for a dev job interview in which the senior software engineer said this...

"Javascript is like Java but scripting"

I didn't say anything to this. I don't know if it was some sort of a test (even though I was in the middle of a 4 page test for them).

Evything text and every every reference I have ever seen about Java and Javascript is that they are nothing alike. What would others have said to this?

FYI - I didn't get the job. Which I am pretty glad about as I didn't like the software engineer guy, and I don't think I would have liked working with him. He had this fake friendly exterior but the fuckwit personality was shitting through every gap in his skin.... I just noticed I used the work shitting instead of shinning, I think it is suitable so I will leave it.

I was a foreign language student, but i didn't like the way my work-life was going (I had a lot of difficulties tryng to find a job).

So I decided to start programming... It appears i'm still studying "languages".

Is my life a joke?

It's a brand new year - and my first email comes in telling me the app is broken because they didn't receive any push notification (....no push notification was sent from them), the web cams don't work (....they've changed all the links to the webcams and now they're surprised it doesn't work in the app) and the app isn't available in France (the app is literally available in France).
Oh and if a user changes their font sizes in their mobile settings, it doesn't always look "very good" in the app.......

If you also programm in your free time you probably know this kind of situations.

Situation: I'm currently creating my own PHP framework (I know there are plenty... I do it for "fun").

The database Connector Class wasn't working so after an eternity (around 2h) I just went to bed.
11pm: My Eyes open. I'm sure I just solved the problem in my dreams. (Spoiler alert: I didn't)

2am: I go to bed again. It didn't work.

Next day: I open the file add a missing required file. It works. I'm now tired AF and feel like dying and above all: I now get all the suicide PHP memes. Good night guys. I'm getting some sleep.

You shitty brat, if my HR staff didn't call you, they didn't call you. Still don't understand? Ok, simpler explanation. Because THEY DO NOT WANT YOU.

Just because we know each other doesn't mean you will get hired at my work. And you are not even a developer, you are a freaking sales man. Why the heck do you keep asking me about it?

So one of my co-partner in a website development business we started, took up back end responsibilities from me, didn't complete a simple form handling in 3 months and then complained the 3rd partner that it was my work and I didn't do it and now I am the bad guy.
FUCK YOU BRO!

During one of our typical 1on1s, my boss thanks me for my hard work these past few months, and said I'd be getting an almost 10% raise - I didn't even ask for it! 🙏

[UPDATE] on my newly joined internship

Considering how corporate the organisation is, I'm surprised how chill everyone is. My team consists of mostly millennials, which is great!
Everyone is super helpful, I honestly thought it'd be shitty experience joining in and it'd all be so formal but none!
First few days I got no work, so I went and asked my mentor and he just laughed and said go home, watch Netflix, which I definitely didn't expected cause corporates

I got web testing work twice (sad I didn't get more, but in time it will increase), got some research work currently which is cool too.

Honestly, I wasn't excited to join as I didn't know what kinda work would I even get(it was pretty vague) but I'm glad I got this.
I'll continue to update here, and sorry I couldn't update any sooner

Cheers my dudes

I was sick the entire week, told my boss about it. I was really enthusiastic about the work and also didn't want to let other people down, so I went, even though I didn't have to.
Today this asshole screams at me for being late and goes on about the broken trust between us etc.
This motherfucker. I showed up, for a whole week, in pain, despite not having to do so. I had to punch the bathroom walls for ten minutes in order to get rid of all the anger.

TL;DR:
Never do more than required, it will absolutely come back to hit you.

So I got some new methods to call, when I tried to call them the usual way, it didn't work quite well.
Surprised, I asked the coder of them.

"Yeah, we're using the new way, you don't mind ?"

nah, no problem, I'm starting to develop my skill in divination and mind reading, that was just my usual training.

Today was my 3rd day on the job and half way through it (right after my new laptop landed on my desk) I was fired. I tried to work for two days without a computer. All I could do was hover over the one other developer whose been there 3 weeks and who didn't meet the launch deadline. The founder had a meltdown over it this morning.

I spent 2 hours googling and scratching my head trying to implement asyc Tast<ActionResult> on asp.net MVC. I even copy and paste the exact sample code and still didn't work. It turns out that "Visual studio for Mac" doesn't support asynchronous calls.

Not the question itself, the attitude was the problem.

I didn't solve the problem that they gave me, and struggled for a while (I ended up solving it an hour after the interview).

Their attitude was that they were both sitting on their computers working and not paying attention to me.

That was disrespectful and stupid. Interviews are also about figuring out whether you can work with the person being interviewed, not just their tech chops. They completely missed the opportunity.

I went to round 2 which was the same. Didn't go for round 3.

I released an Android lib on JCenter.

So far so good. What I didn't realize was that I had a terrible bug related to a content provider.

Since I was using the ContentProvider to make my CursorLoader work, if someone installed an app with my lib, you couldn't install another one with it because it would conflict the providers.

I had to quickly find a solution and dispatch a new release.

I fell in love with linux again.

My root partition was full and for past few days I have been deleting/moving stuff to get my work done.

And since, it was MBR I thought I had no option except for reinstall arch and setup everything again.

Just converted MBR partition to GPT and also setup UEFI boot instead of legacy without formatting anything.

Then extended the root partition and now I can create unlimited primary partitions.

PS: It was work laptop and I didn't take any backup.

I am so sad. I've been having problems with Linux installs on my desktop since i built it. It just hangs at random times and the journals don't mention any problems. I finally catch a lead and it turns out it's a bug with the microcode of the Ryzen processors. There was a possible work around, but it didn't work for me.

Guess I'm just going to have to use Windows exclusively on my desktop. I hope for a fix but the bug has been around for a year. :(

So I just started using FreeBSD(11.1) on an older laptop(T60) and while I was reading the handbook, it said that I should use "shutdown -p now". It didn't say anything about "poweroff", which I usually use on Linux to shut down the system, it does work in FreeBSD, but I don't know if it's safe. So does someone know whether it's safe or not?

The worst rejection was one after a first interview and a subsequent 3 hour code challenge. I was super nervous as it was my first code challenge in an interview that was one of my first. I wasn't confident when I submitted my work, but the time was up and so there wasn't much to be done.

The rejection was simple. Pure silence. No arguments, or feedback. Just didn't hear nothing back and that didn't help my fresh out of university self-confidence.

Looking through code, discovered a front end plugin wasn't activating right on a form input. Go look at the code, intern commented it out and wrote a comment saying "This didn't work and I didn't know how to fix it. So I turned it off." If you don't know, then ask. Don't leave it broken and not tell anyone! I am so glad this kid is gone. I really hope he doesn't come back after term.

So I began at my first programming job as an intern and it was as bad as it gets but I kept going, thinking that this was normal. After my internship I continued to work full-time at the same company and was working on new functionality on their legacy product build in ASP Classic and their shitty inhouse front-end framework (which btw used eval to evaluate strings in so called queues). So I was assigned a task to create a module which needed some available data in the database. I was discussing my ideas with my supervisor and she didn't let me finish and began speaking on how I should get the data needed. My approach was much more clean and used only one request and hers used two. So I heard what she had to say and I wanted to finish what I was about to say before she interrupted me but she did it again. I go nervous but let her finish once again. After that she left me to work on my task and I did it the way thought was right (and it was). After she saw my approach she was furious because I didn't talk it over with her and she said that she don't think that we can work together if I continue to work like this. I felt how my head filled with blood but I kept calm. If I had opened my mouth I would surely get fired. But I didn't open my mouth and quit after one or two months. She was a real bitch that day...

The feeling when your brothers think you are a magician cuz you play music by pressing lemons with arduino.
Then they tried and it didn't work ubless I was holding them.

Magic!
When life gives you lemons, don't do a lemonade. Do an arduino program and play!

The feeling of dread as still a semi-junior sysadmin when an app doesn't work after an update.

I got stressed, triple-checked everything that I changed and that I followed all steps of the documentation of the upgrade process, then, as a last step before going over in half-panic mode to my boss, I try to restart the stupid java app and it starts working.

Wtf. Why. Why didn't it work the first time I started it? D:

Error reporting was flooded with failed database connection connections with me being baffled what was causing it.

Yeah, fucking network operator didn't tell us anything about maintenance work. Fuck you, too.

I encountered a really weird bug today in my javascript. I'm working on a CMS and one of the things it handles is adding, uploading and resizing images. So, one function adds an empty image to the dom, unselects the currently selected image and selects the new empty image. Pretty straighforward right? So the problem is the unselect function didn't want to work. The image is added and gets selected but the previous image is also still selected.

I set a few breakpoints checked every variable but everything was the way it should. So after an hour trying things I discovered that if I removed the code where the image get added to the body the deselect function works (innerHTML += element) I thought maybe a little timout between these two actions would work but it didn't work. It looks like all dom actions lock up after the empty image gets added. I didn't understood so I moved the unselect function to the above the image add code and it worked wut ??.

code before fix:
func:
body.innerHTML += html;
unselect();
select();

after:
func:
unselect();
body.innerHTML += html;
select();

Atleast its fixed now

Best dev experience was coding one of my favorite board games. I started it early on in 2016, and while it isn't completely do finished (AI needs work and tweaks to the UI), it is functional for hot seat play.

I started doing it because I wanted to make a game and learn some things I didn't know, specifically I was interested in making AIs with different strategies. While I set out to learn this, I've learned so much more along the way.

I'm still really happy when I get to work on it, and having something to show people (that they can actually play!) is a great feeling.

So finally I just got my first credit card!

Now on, I don't need to worry about carrying cash when traveling abroad, enjoy free lounge access, buy things in installments and what not.

It's almost impossible to get credit card here without a typical 9to5 job. The best thing is I didn't have to work for it at all. It just happened. So that's something.

!dev

So my boss sent me a facebook request when he used to work with me. He is young, good looking. I kind of had a crush on him.
I didn't like that he sent me the request (he's friends with everyone in the office) but I accepted as it didn't seem a big deal.

Now when he's gone, I sent him a request on another social media( thought it will be safer now), that guy just ignored the request.

Seriously what's wrong with these people. (or with me)

So, you have to build an app for your company. Once it is done you submit it for the test team who ignores it completely. Then they assume that the best time to test it is after the production deployment and then everything becomes a urgency.
The best part is the PM trying to make you feel guilty about leaving after 12+ hours of work because you didn't finish everything.

Got my RC522 RFID reader for a school project last night, got it to work, tried to plug it into my breadboard this morning and shorted it... Double checked on 2 different arduinos and 1RPi 3 B didn't work on either one of them.

Fuck my life.

!rant (okay somewhat it *is* a rant, idk)

So I recently got into using react-native to make an android application, with another partner of mine.
I use a Mac while my partner uses Windows
Now since I was the one who suggested to use react-native, I started the project on my system, set it up (took some efforts though), and put the code on a git repo.
My partner cloned the repo, and it stopped working. Bummer.
The exact same code worked perfectly well on my system, but didn't work on his windows.
When he made a new project on his system, it didn't work on my system.
The error that kept occurring was EISDIR on both our systems.
Is react-native not meant to work for development on different platforms or is windows just a bitch as usual?

I hate front end !

My friend just tried to help me with it and I was happy to be relieved of the shitty work!

He didn't make it responsive ! And now I am back to square 1. 😑

I have a few colleagues who code best when slightly drunk. So I gave it a try a couple of times. That didn't work - I immediately felt drowsy and sleepy.

In general, I don't drink. I like it when my mind is razor-sharp and works better than a swiss watch, and even tiny amounts of alcohol spoil that clockwork for me. So drunk coding is not for me.

Didn't go to work today because of commuting issues.

It's fucking night and I'm receiving notification of boss sending me photo on messenger. back to back.

I haven't opened the app yet and I'm legit scared if it has anything to do with me not coming to work.

Or even worse nudez.

:/

Every meeting that contains one or more of the following points:

- "I don't think it belongs in the meeting, but"
- "Didn't get the meeting notes"
- "When's the food coming?"
- "I know we've said no technical discussion, but..."
- "Why is he so strict, this is no fun meeting at all :("
- "I think it's unfair to include risk assessment, you blame US before XY is finished"
- "The admins / the Team XY / ZX didn't talk with us, so we don't talk with him / her / them..."
- "Why are we here?"
- "Why is it so bad when production is down?"
- "I didn't know we do security / audit checks... Why hasn't anyone told us?"
- "Not happening. I'm against it"
- "I don't want to work with XY - he doesn't do it like I want it"

...

I could add thousand more things here.

I had countless meetings where I really thought that I was an alien who got broadcasted in a comedy reality TV soap...

I just finished this app I was working on, an app which I was supposed to be working on with a friend who never committed. It pisses me off that he didn't put in any input. We were supposed to work on different parts of the app. I had everything planned out, on how to make a certain function. But right now I'm just happy because I have no idea how I got it to work without the functions and at this stage I don't wanna check ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i'm waiting for a package manager to come out that compiles everything you have it install from source to "guarantee" it runs on your machine, then have it autopost a SO question when it fails (not if, WHEN) and autotest answers given, then if it didn't work it'd reply saying it didn't work and giving the new error (if appropriate). This'd shut up the "lol it works on my side" and "lol compiling's easy" douchebags and also probably help drive home the importance of providing binaries for things and making them well.

also fuck devkitPro, it's not unreasonable to provide packages for other package managers than Arch's pacman since EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT. And no, "lol just compile from source" doesn't help as it doesn't work when you do. And it doesn't work BECAUSE you don't WANT it to so we HAVE to patchwork pacman into our other distros to get your shitty dev tools. you could also just provide a fucking zip of everything compiled, since then there'd be less effort than maintaining your own copy of pacman and servers and shit just to try and help people desperate enough to try crippling their Windows/Mac/Linux install all because they haven't drank the Arch koolaid.

Fuck those douchebags, fuck devkitPro and... probably fuck you too? Probably? Maybe?

holy shit i really needed to get that shit off my chest i apologize for that

Had this client for which I did some work on agreement. The agreement was fairly well laid out and the work was well defined. We delivered on time and he was all good. Move forward a couple months and this guy comes back asking for changes, upon which I said we'd need a new agreement because the last one expired when the job ended, but he didn't want a new agreement and to not make a point of it we didn't. We made the changes and I invoiced him, as we do, and then he starts accusing me of trying to rip him off and calls me a child. Stopped working with him after that

So after multiple hours of wrestling with Jira I finally managed to autofill fields in the service desk. How? By installing a plugin to show message boxes and injecting JavaScript through it, what else?

Fucking wonderful piece of crap :)

Next up: automatically capture errors triggered by employees with Sentry and raise Jira requests. "A button didn't work" isn't enough god damn it.

I once met a guy who said tech guys chose windows over Mac's because windows goes wrong often so it keeps the tech guys in work!

And Mac's hardly ever break so they didn't want their business to use them

He clearly hasn't met tech guys we don't want to be dealing with your fucking problems

It made me furious internally... I said nothing.

Seriously do you think all tech guys in the world joined a union and went 🤔 how can we make sure we have more work ... Fuck off you ponsy twat

So they took my personal meeting just because there was delay in delivery due to other dev as he was working on shitloads of things and didn't get time to work on API and didn't gave me in time.
And they specifically called it "Doubt meeting" LMAO.

Lol this is actually funny

It was a promotion that involved doing more work but didn't involve me getting a change in title or pay

Thing is tho... The promotion was caused due to developers leaving left right and center and I left shortly after as well...so I guess it makes sense that they maybe saw that I was planning to leave *shrugs*

Thinking about quitting college more and more.
Not because it's hard, but because I can't bear with it anymore. I had a 3 day break and I noticed I didn't want to just disappear anymore.

What will I if I quit? Work. Try to find work in something electronics or programming related. I know my chances are slimmer than someone who did finish, but I can't...

I dunno

Finally got my "new" keyboard! Had to use one of these at work for few months and I loved it. It has that classic tactile, clicky feel. I almost got an expensive mechanical one, but I'm glad I didn't.

What do you do when you are to work on something you have never worked on before, and you are stuck, and you are too noob to understand the solutions provided on SO (if any); except pulling your hair and crying? Because that I have already done and you bet it didn't help.

In CS class I had a only 10 lines long python script (everything else was commented out). It didn't work and I searched the bug for ca 20 minutes. I asked a class mate (who commented the other code out) if he could figure it out and he just says: "The indention of the comment is wrong". We had a discussion that it doesn't matter how to indent comments. In the end he selected all the lines, pressed tab and it just worked ?!?!

I'm used to use Facebook from browser, but recently it doesn't work and 9 times out of 10 it has random bugs, doesn't load newsfeed, doesn't load images and so on. Today I needed to sell an object and it didn't work, so I installed Facebook Lite just for this. And guess? It doesn't work too! The groups are buggy in the app, once you enter in the subscription page, it doesn't let you do any action and doesn't let you go back.

So that's the top website in the world, isn't it?

macs... I know I didn't like them before, but recently I wanted set up a vpn on another person's pc and first it didn't want to install because it was a third party program. understandable, change security settings, try again, works. and now... EVERY TIME the user wants to connect it asks for a password, because the vpn client is "changing system settings". whenever the pc is locked, it disconnects and asks for a password whenever you log in again.

The saying that macbooks "just work" has to be extended to "the most basic functionality kind of works, most of the time".

Or maybe I'm just ignorant and unable to handle the glory of mac osx

We have all run the same code although it didn't work the first time. And it never worked the second.😂😂

One thing I have realised these days is that I don't like the work from home setup.

Maybe it's the because of the bad working environment.

I actually appreciate office space more now. Once, out of office, it was easier to zone out of work mode and I didn't feel this much tired when working in office.

God damnit! It's been a while since I lost changes. Let alone saved changes! (I'm a ctrl+s presser)

I committed my changes in git (through the VS team explorer). I got a nice error message saying that an exception occurred. I clicked "OK", as though I accepted it :/ didn't have a choice.

Then gone. All my changes since the commit before that. Only an hour work, but still. It was hard work.

Ctrl+z of course didn't work haha 😥

So simple but so hard.
Having a bad cold I'v been home for a few days. Finally I could bend down without my head exploding so I could replace a harddrive in my ceph system.
I took everything off line, installed the new drive and did all the right things,
but afterwards it didnt come up.
It didn't make sense so I googled for hours while my fever were getting stronger without finding the answer.
So I gave up and reverted my changes and plugged in the old harddrive...
It still didn't work... a bit of panic. I mean... its all my files!
After a lot of sweating (no caused by fever) I realised I moved two ceph-mon processes a few weeks ago but I never rebooted the system afterwards, to fix it all I had to do:
systemctl enable ceph-mon
on two machines.

Summary: make sure things work after reboot and don't do challaging stuff while your brain is all scrambled.

I'm setting up an project at work. Takes me until now 2 days and there are dozens of undocumented things I couldn't know.

It's an total brainfuck of product. Most of it could be automated and be less error prone.

How can people do that? Don't they hate to do it too? I cannot understand why they didn't change anything there for years.

When I quit my job making multiple bullshit excuses of how tired I am and how much better my life would be if I work from home and here I am been lazy for 2 - 3 months and didn't learn anything new also didn't practice what I know.

Honestly I'm so disappointed in myself and the fact that it was a good opportunity for me makes it harder on me blaming myself.

Fuck this shit!!
Doing my homework for chemistry and fucking Libreoffice didn't save my work!! And I put a lot of work into it!! Fuck!!

Now I've created a git repository to save my homework and keep track of it.. Fucking Libreoffice... :/
Fuck you!!!! Fucking Libreoffice!!!

For the last time, ES5 DOESN'T support optional function parameters. gulp --production fails when running on testing when you do that.
*fixes gulp tasks to do gulp --production by default*
Next day : hey, why does gulp keep failing.

IT IS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME THE LAST 100 TIMES WHEN I SAID OPTIONAL PARAMETERS DOESN'T WORK WHEN MINIFYING

Let's see how you do it now.

Loving inaccurate documentation...
And it's from a big company as well!

Reset value: 0x0000007F

I didn't get it to work for several hours.
And then I checked...
The actual value it gets reset to is 0.

Just 0.

They told me Xamarin Forms could create an app for many platforms
They didn't tell me that the Forms extensions for APIs would not work at all with the Android extensions, iOS extensions and I would need to reinstall them for each platform
They didn't tell me that at the end, I have to write individual code for each platform.
I was promised an all-in-one toolkit. I'm just writing code for Android and iOS apps, PLUS forms
I can't even find a reliable PDF generator for this. Documentations are outdated and don't work, either that, for it takes a million steps to generate a PDF file

I just crave to start an open-source project. It's just that I don't feel like doing it alone. Anywone up for doin' something stupid? I have a few silly ideas in mind 😅

(Yeah, I need some other project than work...)

(Oh, right. Didn't feel like posting this over at the collab section. Felt to vague.)

My first computer experience was when I was like 4 or 5 I didn't really understand it yet. My first programming experience was when I was 8. I really wanted to make my own website login system so I copied some PHP code and tried to open it😂. Ofcourse it didn't work.

So the other day I kept seeing too many of "if it fits, it sits" jokes. It was one of the days I was messing around with my app. So I did something to make it work. I didn't know what and I went "If it works, it twerks". I know it's stupid but I crack myself up every time I say it. 😂

- Elon received daddy's money.
- Twitter will die in a week.
- Elon Musk didn't do shit. His employees did.
- ChatGPT is just a glorified chatbot. It's nothing new. (Doesn't realize they are shitting on the work of his employees).

These are the words of the coping left. Now we have to tools to replace woke left in IT. That means all woke politics along with it go out the door slowly. :)

(This is the third time I'm talking about the same question I posted on stack overflow this week, but things keep happening that pisses me off)

Me: *answers my own question, clearly says I tried deleting the php path environment variable and that it didn't work, so that's why I added it back and now it's working perfectly*
Guy: *downvotes my answer* "you need to delete the php path environment variable, here's how"
M: "I did and it didn't work, that's why I added it back and now it's working"
G: "well, you need to delete the php path environment variable"

YOU MOTHERF-

G: "You need to check for all the references"

WERE? You literally only talked about environment variables, I told you I checked those multiple times. Obviously I don't know what I'm doing, if I did I wouldn't be asking such a stupid question like this one, so maybe a little guidance? I mean, isn't that what stack overflow is for? To guide people who don't know how to do something? Don't just say "your wrong" when I said MULTIPLE TIMES I did what you said and it DIDN'T WORK.

Seriously, asking a question there was the worst thing I did 😑

Anyway, he didn't answer back and everything is still working fine, with the php path.

Aaaah the joy of carefully crafting and testing extensively on multiple aspects (code, UX, compatibility) your own craft...

... Only to get "IT DOESN'T WORK ON MY MACHINE LOL"

They didn't even read the very simple instructions of "double click on that exe"

So this morning a guy asked me what my work was, I told him I'm a mobile developer, and what the work consists of

Then he came out with a:
"oh I heard that you developers write code, but which code? Something like Morse code or Braille?"

And i was like: "wtf, did he seriously said that?!"

So I jumped right in and replied
"No, actually I see pretty sharp"

... but I think he didn't get it ..uhh so sad :c

What should I do with a guy, who rejected help, promised to do the work and just didn't even try to do it?

Created a piece of code (code A). It didn't work.
Found a replacement on StackOverflow (code B), commented out my code A and tried the new one.
Everything seemed fine, deleted code A. Tried the app and it crashed.
Re-added the commented code, and the app started working again.

-_____________________-

Me: "You should go with this other option for the software. It's cheaper and you can do more."
Client: "No. This more expensive and less-capable thing I chose is better. We'll make it work."
[several weeks pass]
Client: "This isn't working. Why didn't it work?"
Me: "You have to upgrade to a more expensive plan, or switch to the other solution I told you about."
Client: "No. We'll make it work."
Me: *facepalm*

I build a framework single-handedly to make my work at a customer project easier. It is good and thought out but now more and more people join the fray, suggesting and wanting to change it in a way I didn't envision it. Therefore I am arguing and discussing with them their points but it might look like me being defensive and immature where I just honestly disagree with them. Fuck my life.

Not a whole lot. But when I was 9 I started trying to fix an old Compaq computer that my parents replaced. I never actually got it to work but I did tear it apart and put it back together. Eventually a friend's parent gave me a a Dell that didn't work. Figured out it just needed a new HDD. Around that time my dad (who is literally the textbook definition of technically challenged) got a old textbook about computer hardware from a friend of his that was a bit of a hobbyist. This was in maybe 2006. The book was from 1988. I don't remember the name but it's somewhere in my parents house still. I didn't get much out of the book. Time passed and I started building computers. For myself, the local library, my friends. I ended up going to college for business while building computers on the side. I was making pretty good money for the amount of time I put into it. Eventually I ended up switching careers. My parents didn't really help me get into software but they offered encouragement. And a book from 1988 about computer hardware... So that's something.

Was having fun learning Ruby so I decided to write a program that would find IMDB ratings of the hundreds of movies on my computer and recommend me the next one to watch.

Why didn't I finish it then? Couldn't get Google to work through a programmatic call.

Why don't I finish it now?
Popcorn time has made my need obsolete.

Today I had the pleasure of adding a feature to our intranet service written by two of my colleagues since they suffer from severe unix dyslexia. One of them was sick so I sat down with the other one and somehow he didn't know how to interpret the output, how to correctly call it from the terminal or even which parameters are needed for it to work so I had to try and decipher their code.
How can one work on something for a month and not know anything about it?