windows update code

function update(){
print("10%");
print("30%");
print("50%");
print("99%");
_doActualUpdate();
_mineBitcoin();
print("100%");
return;
}

When 1 update isn't enough

Me: I'm done working for today, let's pack up and go home !
Windows: :)
Me: You better fucking not-
Windows: Installing update 1 of 893...

Visual Studio has an update. Tells me to update the update installer first :P

sudo apt update

"All packages up to date."

For the past 14 days? Huh.
Everyone on vacation or something?

It's quiet.
It's a little.... tooo ... quiet.

Let's update your update, but first let me update, so we can start updating the update

The best privacy policy update meme

Use a Mac they said.
No annoying update they said.

I still haven't updated my Windows laptop of new update. The reminder is annoying lol, I have clicked snooze button more than I do on my alarm

Windows 10 once again held my computer at ransom! When it finally came around after the update, all it really seem to do is place Edge back on my task bar. No... Bad Microsoft, I don't use or want Edge.

Never forget the WHERE clause on UPDATE :(

You have a presentation due in next 5 minutes?

Windows:- Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Let's update the PC.

When I update Android Studio and everything breaks.

Reasons why I update a software to the latest version:
1% - I'm glad that they fixed the bug
4% - I want the new features
95% - To get rid of reminders that don't allow to tick a "don't remind me later" field.

FUCK OFF WINDOWS. I NEED TO WORK BECAUSE MY DEADLINE IS COMING BUT NO, THE FUCKING WINDOWS DECIDED TO FUCKING UPDATE. I DON'T WANT AN UPDATE RIGHT NOW, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SOFTWARE. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 1 HOUR TO GET TO 35%. 🖕🖕🖕🖕

Reboot to install Linux.
Windows update.
Fuck you.

Fuck these movie people:
You run "sudo apt-get update.." and you say we've got the signal. Your f*cking signal! Am sure someone even typed the password for you. I update my system every 5 minutes I have got no signal. F*ck you again. I'm not watching the movie again. P*ssing me off.

*Looks away from computer screen*

Android studio update is available

*Drinks coffee*

Android studio update is available

*Cuddles with cat*

Android studio update is available

*Debugging app*

Android studio update is available

* "Mom" *

Android studio update is available

Windows 10 asking me to update to Windows 10, are there no bounds?

In the bottom left corner of the picture there is a devRant guy with a 3 monitor setup...

However 2 monitors are the biggest multi monitor setup you can select...

*puts tinfoil hat on*

Have I just leaked the next big devRant update?

I just hate it when an update for an app is available and there's no changelog. Seriously, tell us what this update is about!

When you decide to update the framework during development

guess who decided to update

*knock knock*
SIR do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior the WINDOWS UPDATE?
"uhm no sorry I'm busy"
*sees a bulldozer in the background*
"what the .."
SIR just let him in your heart and feel his security patches drive your vulnerabilities away!!
"but the rendering hasn't finished ye.."
TOO LATE SIR, green light fellas let's do this
*bulldozer destroys my house and i wake up, sweating*

*hugs laptop*
"Oooh Ubuntu my baby I've missed you soo much!"
*wayland crashes*

App update description 😂

100% True..
Windows update proves to be a headache sometimes.

Every Windows update be like:

Please reconsider using Edge over _, it has Webkit now!

Please reconsider reenabling Cortana.

Please reconsider using Bing.

Please reconsider reenabling sharing all metrics with us.

My class just got cancelled because the professor's PC decided now's the perfect time to update!

Gotta love windows sometimes :D

Nobody expects the S̶p̶a̶n̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶I̶n̶q̶u̶i̶s̶i̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ Windows update

I have to update Visual Studio Installer before I can remove Visual Studio

Makes sense

Thank you Microsoft

It was a cold monday evening.
I was alone in my room.
Many hours of coding had passed.

Windows offered me two options:
"Shutdown"
"Shutdown with update"

Anoyed by the update but thankful for the first option i decided to go with number one.
Windows started its shuting down process when all of a sudden...

"Please don't turn off your machine! Your updates are being konfigured!

It was that evening...
That one speciall evening...
I decided...
To finally...
Do nothing about this problem and cry myself to sleep...

Hello again devRanters! This is linuxxx again. A quick update regarding the privacy site!

Right now we're up to the following:

Ewpratten
- Converting what we have right now on frontend to Bootstrap.
- Working on a page with a description as to what this is going to be exactly.

linuxxx (me)
- Converted the static stuff we used before to a simple MVC based PHP web application.
- Created a DB scheme for the custom CMS I am going to write for this.
- Starting to work on the custom CMS right now!

We'll update as soon as we've got a well working description/introduction page :)

We won't be creating rants every day/new tiny feature/change or anything but as this is our first productive night, it seemed like a nice idea to update what we already got done/started on :).

Stay tuned!

I like how Microsoft added a FAKE "Do not auto update" button in Windows 10

Microsoft, if I click the "Update and shut down" button it means I want you to update and shut down, not do a third of the update, shut down then wait for me to turn the computer back on for you to finish! Why can't it just do the update, reboot as necessary then shut down once it's all done?

Monitor update:
Yes. I'm in heaven.

Any update to update the updating bar?

And award for "Bitch of the week" goes to....

Android Studio's latest update!!!
🙃🙃🙃

I know exactly who will like this pink accent 😏
I like this devRantron update :D

Cmon guys it's an important security update..

Visual studio just forced update on my friend's whole team, boss just let them all go home early and pray that it finished updating by tomorrow... Good job Microsoft

To all the people complaining about a windows update breaking their computer.

A linux kernel update just broke my computer.

Taxi is waiting outside. Have to print some files before I go. Already late. Windows update.

Update messages done right 😂😂

Windows update...

When you release an update and don't wanna deal with fixing bugs any time soon

> An update is available
> Installs update
> Update failed bc of corrupted system components
> Random bluescreens
> Sfc /scannow
> Can't scan because there is one pending repair
> Restart
> Does everything except repairing
> Recovery mode
> System integrity check failed
> Reset Windows
> Reset failed bc of "some" problems
> Media creation tool for bootable USB
> Tool fails to write image
> Media creation tool on another pc
> Successful
> Install Windows
> Missing drivers, cannot install
> Wipes hard drive

Fuck you Microsoft

That's why Amazon is special. Look at the what's new section for the app update.

When there is no automatic way of checking if you software update came through correctly and no personal is in the building so you have to boot 421 PCs.

When you need to explain an app update to users

Microsoft be like :
"Oh, you're moving away from your computer for a while with all this stuff open? It would a shame if some were to.. UPDATE it!"

It asks with a pop up, and if you don't answer it, it thinks "Oh, you're not telling me if I should update now or not, but I think you probably want me to update. UPDATE!"

For me, if I keep ignoring the update, it starts to create problems for me out of nowhere. It starts to lag and then the task manager starts to lag. EVERYTHING IS NOT RESPONDING.
When I finally update it, it acts like there were no issues at all. Everything is fine..

Even with Xbox, if it wants to update, it doesn't let you go online until you do. If it loses connection mid-update for some reason, it begins the update again from the friggin START. All that time updating gone to waste. Recently, I'm having a lot of issues with it. It doesn't let me sign in a lot of times. "We couldn't sign you in" for some reason. It JUST CAN'T. If you have a slow internet connection, you can't play any game at all. I contacted Microsoft Support about that issue and they concluded that it was all because of the slow internet connection and there were no issues on their end and they told me to GIT GOOD (Not exactly those words). If it does sign you in, it kicks you out mid-game for some reason with the evil pop up saying "Bye User_Name". The game says that YOU signed out (Dumb game, doesn't understand Microsoft shenanigans) and returns you to the main menu. If your game didn't save, well, GOOD luck to you!
Everything takes forever to load, if it decides it's not gonna load, it gives me a really helpful error saying "Something went wrong".
Maybe it's just me, it just hates me particularly. It makes me think that Microsoft intentionally acts like a douche just to get attention..

(In the end I think, maybe, this all is not a big deal if you surrender and accept Microsoft as your overlord)

I tried a few ways to stop Windows from updating automatically, but nothing worked (Maybe, I should try again).

Maybe I should dual boot Linux, but that brings a whole new set of things that I'd have to deal with, doesn't it?

Sigh

TIP:
To anyone and everyone ranting about the automatic restart of their Windows 10 system,
Settings > Update > Advanced Options > Notify to schedule restart (instead of Automatic).
Yes, it IS that simple.
God.

MOTHERFUCK. FUCKING WINDOWS DID IT AGAIN TABARNAK!

Today, I was hoping to study some DB optimization for an exam tomorrow. How foolish of me to think that MOTHERFUCKING FUCKTARD WINDOWS WOULD NOT CHOOSE THIS EXACT MOMENT TO INSTALL THE FUCKING ANNIVERSARY UPDATE. Because it di. It took 2 hours to insert it's fucking update in my ass. FUCK.

I don't know why devs would choose to work for the devil, but for those who did create this update system, I HOPE YOU STEP ON LEGO BRICKS AND THAT YOUR AUDIO IS ALWAYS OUT OF SYNC WITH YOU VIDEO ON NETFLIX.

This better be the bestest update in the whole wide world

are you Windows Update? because you can literally fuck right off and die.

Services > Windows Update > Disabled > Apply > OK

Hard lesson:
Don’t update your OS while a project is still not finished, or at least on critical state of a project

Apple being funny. 201.6 MB Update :)

Call me a spoiled Linux kid but FUCK WINDOWS UPDATE!!
It's not even the shitty deployment cycle that they have for their updates, the real cancer is the fucking update app.
First off, if you fucking piece of shit already have the audacity to load gigabytes of updates over my 0.8mbit/s connection in the background, without my goddamn consent, at least let me PAUSE the fucking download!!! I don't see why the fuck you have to block my connection, and therefore me, from the most basic things like visiting a fucking website for more than a FUCKING HOUR to load useless updates, YOU PIECE OF BLOODSTAINED SHIT, I GOT SHIT TO DO.
And it doesn't stop there, noooo: then you even have the bloody fucking nerve to FORCE ME TO INSTANTLY RESTART AND SIT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING 40 MINUTE UPDATE PROCESS WHILE IM TRYING TO WORK.. WITHOUT THE ABILIT TO DELAY THE UPDATE!!! What the fuuuck?!

It is seldom that I am this 👌 close to just dd'ing /dev/null to my windows partition. Fuck you!!

Now THIS is what I call an update 💯👏

I just spent 15 minutes trying to figure out why my school WiFi was so slow. Turns out, windows was downloading an update, ON HIGHEST FUCKING PRIORITY. Fuck you windows

2 things I can not understand.
1)how my programming works.
2)what the fuck this new update of what's app about??? A status? fuck!

Worst update ever. Fuck I can not handle videos and photos of people who sends useless messages. Fuck!! 😫😫😫😫

You have -7 days to update thr app.

Go home Messenger your drunk

Am I the only one who never got fucked over by windows update? 😕

I can't play Overwatch because Windows 10 update is taking forever :(

Me: We have to update the platform, but before doing this we should backup it.

Client: Ok, but a backup is not enough. What if we were not able to revert to the previous version? We should perform a manual copy.

Me: ... 🤦🏻‍♂️

4x4ghz CPU, 16gb of RAM, 100mbps downstream and 1tb ssd... and it took windows only 2 hours and 4 restarts to install an update...WTF

Is it normal that I get really excited when I see a new VS Code update or there is something wrong with me?

goddammit Microsoft, why do I have to remove your fkking internet explorer icon and store icon after every update! noo I don't want it in my bar. gtfo! leave my settings as they were! How hard can it be? Think: does this fuck up someone s personal settings? if yes , DON'T DO IT.

Windows Update.

Enough said 😤

P.S. been 2 hours already 😭

Had no internet for hours.
Called the support.
"We will fix it!" they said and they actually did. So maybe there are competent people working there as well???

No. Of course not.

Two hours later I receive a call from them. "It was not our fault. There was an update so we had to plug the cables back into the right ports."

Software update
Physical connections

Wat

It should be FUCKING ILLEGAL to show intrusive popups on the web AND on the desktop. The fucking moron 'developers' who do this type of crap should be fined in the $M range and then banned from using a fucking computer ever again.

It's one fucking thing when a crappy program shows an intrusive update popup when you open it (see notepad++, FileZilla and more), but when I am not even using your fucking malware, but you still shove an update popup in my face while I'm working is just on the next fucking level.

There should be a law that makes this kind of retarded bullshit illegal....

Everything was ready before you fucking wanted to update...

Visual Studio 2017 15.7.1, smallest update ever… ~8 MB.

Hey, I´m through with the Win10 update.
That was fast. And no problems! Everything seems to be working.

Wait...
Android SDK not found...
Java not found ...
Seems all my environment variables are gone.
Even better all the standard variables are wrong too.
My Home Drive is now "H:" ?
What the hell?

Windows: would you like to update?
Me: no not rn I'm currently on battery and traveling, let me just quickly restart.
Windows: Okay I'll install the latest updates for you.
Me: oh FFS

OH FUCKING GREAT. GOOGLE CHROME UPDATE 53 JUST BROKE MY PARALLAX WEBSITE. FUCCCCKKKKK

Just realized Windows 10 update "Restart Now" button doesn't have a confirmation/cancel screen unlike the normal power options.
Learned it the hard way when I just wanted to change the time it restarts and clicked restart now by accident.
Goes to show how forced these updates are .-.

Windows decides to download Creative update.
I restart the computer wait for the update to finish.
I see the login screen.
I log in, then windows says:
"Hi, we have an update for you this might take a few minutes!"

What the serious fuck windows? Did you need me to login so that you can waste more of my time?

So you want to write some notes on your surface pro 3...

Windows 10: UPDATE TIME!

Me after two minutes:

XCode, I can hear you! Your 7.81 GB update hit the fan. Sounds like my iMac getting ready to fly.

Just updated devRant and out of curiosity scrolled down to look at the recommended apps - wtf
I'm not depressed and I know English already?
Btw update looks nice 😉

I must say I like the new Chrome look and feel update.

Who already loves the new update?

Windows asks to update. I say no and 10min later i get this casual update continuing.

Glad i have a say in life

Update?! Fuck windows.

While playing Tower Unite, i spammed my spacebar.
Windows opened a window that i confirmed that something by spamming my spacebar.

It's a stupid windows 7 update.
Thank's windows..........

I LOVE the new update guys! Great work! Been wanting this for so long 😍

I hate windows.
I hate windows update.
I hate windows update rebooting my PC and not reopen everything from last session.
I hate windows update trying to install updates while running from battery in power save mode.
I hate windows not being able to figure out where to put windows on dual head setup.
I hate developing in windows environment.

Man I'm glad that I use windows at home only for gaming.
Man I'm glad that I can choose a non-windows PC on my new workplace.

I sometimes feel Windows keeps on pushing useless updates, just to mess with the users. Change a single line of code (or rather just add a comment) and push the entire module as new.

How can it be everytime I boot on my windows device, it has an update.

EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME.

Same goes for you steam.

MS Teams - updated. Chats - gone. Good update, MS 👍

FFFUUUU!!!
Damn Windows april update!
After a LOT of problems with drivers, bluetooth, etc. it even partially corrupted the font of a program, the console shows a list of data from a medical image database so i had a micro heart attack when i first saw this tinking the database was corrupted (i was checking out a problem)!
I bet it's the "smart" font re-sizing!!!

Windows keeps uninstalling touchpad drivers after update and tells that i didn't need them, well touchpad is not working after uninstalling drivers you fuck.

YAY, SDK UPDATE

I just wanted to turn off my throw it in my backpack and go home. But freaking Windows has just decided that this is a great time for an update 😡

Nothing interesting. Just 11 GB ram using and increases steadily. After restart app the bug was again. Okaaay, I thought. I reboot my PC, but bug was adamant. Well, then I update phpStorm and everything became fine. Ok, JetBrains, good idea to say user about new release version and make update:) Seriously, it works fine. I think every company should adopt this idea:)

Okay then, everything's fine, I'm sure this is normal... Windows went to sleep mode while applying an update.

So windows decided to be the cunt it is once again!
I turned my windows to sleep cause I was gonna have dinner and I don't fucking know what the fuck windows think "sleep" is but after around 10 minutes a hear a sound of a device getting unplugged (I use an external mouse)
Fuck! Fucking shit, you dimwit, you decided to perform a goddamn update? An update? Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me, I did an update around a week or two ago! And my laptop was on sleep for a motherfucking reason! All my tabs...all those fucking tabs and programs
How the fuck can you update when I only kept it in sleep you shitnugget?!
What kind of asshole does that? I had unsaved files man
And now it restarted twice and no, this motherfucking cunt couldn't even apply the updates; just fucking rolled back!

Do I want to continue?
Y -> vacation lost (Production server is down).

N -> Ok, I will gather more packages for you to update next time.
😭😭

This screen is so much filled with hate, when taking a break, without wifi... Those apps that force you to update -.-

Uhhhh !!! No standard way for electron apps to auto-update on Linux.

WTF !!!

Update: I'm going to do the programming course after all. I've decided on it.

I've had it with these automatic updates that I didn't ask for, especially when I'm trying to switch my machine off!
How about asking me first if I want that damn update?
Why do they have to be shoved down my throat?!

That's it! I'm switching my OS!

Not a rant. But about Windows 10, because some asked "why are there only rants about it?"

The day before yesterday: When switching off my PC, I noticed the shutdown options were "Update and restart" and "Update and shutdown". I chose the latter and went to bed.
Yesterday: I switched on my PC, Windows takes some extra seconds at "Installing updates, 99% done" and... I'm on my desktop. All is well. As unspectacular as it can get.

For me, that is every update experience since Windows 7, ever.

Yesterday a windows update somehow managed to corrupt my arch linux partition and I eventually had to spend the whole day recovering what was left because I needed it for today. Well... yesterday was also my girlfriends birthday..

me: alright let me print this now.

*goes downstairs*

printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...
printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...
printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...

*no paper to be seen*

me: why isn't this working?

*checks computer upstairs.*

computer: *popup* We have an update scheduled for 17:40, we can install it then or, if you like, now.

me: oh, ok.

Ummm.. I'll update the app then to its current version itself, I guess...

Wtf F-Droid ?

Just when I need to update, Google says no 😒

My overall experience with Spring Creators Update

"UPDATE IS COMING"

"Windows update can't install updates because of the following programs:
-VMWare 15.0
Please uninstall or update the program"

Wtf? I had to uninstall it, fortunately I didn't use it anymore.

Mgr: composer require. That's all you're allowed to do. I want you to manually go through our word press site, check which ones need an update. And do a composer require in the command line for each to update them.

Me: wouldn't it make more sense to just increment the version in the composer.json and then run update?

Mgr: no, you don't understand how composer works, it's very complicated. Just do require. Don't ever do update.

Me: *does it anyway (reverting later of course) and compares update vs require and their differences in the lock file*

I mean it looks like 'update' is updating important dependencies for each of the packages as well as the package itself... The 'require' just seems to download the package itself but no updates to dependencies for those packages.

But seriously is composer that complicated that I can't just do an 'update'?

I've been reading the composer documentation and it seems to be saying that update is the better way to go...

I'm doubting myself these days...

Why can't big companies like Facebook include a fucking change log I the update description in App Store?

Fuck me. I have to update an Android app I have built 2 years ago. So much have changed, I need to update pretty much every dependency I have and no library seems to compile with the latest Android SDK yet.

I feel like Dr. Strange living the 14,000,605 possibilities when trying different library versions.

It's probably easier to rewrite everything. Now in Kotlin.

Bugs fixed, bugs have been fixed, bugs removed, daily bug fixing, bugs have been weekly fixed, update, daily update, weekly update, ...

Me - sits down to code
Windows - need to install small update
Me - skip
Windows - HELL NO UPDATE
6 hours later.......
Update faild.

Ok, so many people rant about windows update. It can fuck up things, starts unexpectedly (after 100 warnings and messages letting you choose when but ok) and it takes too long to update.

I use Windows daily so I update regularly and never takes more than 5 mins. 20 when its a major update twice a year. So let's talk about Linux.

Yesterday I wanted to try out .net core on Linux so I booted my antergos vm to do it. TLDR: Didn't do shut because, surprise, Linux updates.

So apparently I downloaded the wrong version of visual studio code. Uninstall and install the right one then. Nope, can't do that. Some dependency must be updated. That dependency is on the highest version on the AUR, I have to get a different one. Ok, no problem. But I can install the other because uninstalling the original breaks more dependencies. Well fuck then.

So I decided I'd do a full system update with pacman, shouldn't take long. 1.6gb worth of update. I have 200mb download so it should be fast right? Well, I had to wait a couple of hours.

So I couldn't do anything on my afternoon because of Linux updates. That's an original rant isn't it?

And before the comments get here, yeah I know it's arch, it's difficult and all that. This isn't about being hard to do. It's just annoying and making me lose time.

It's technically impossible for this update not to fuck everything up.

Oh, I use Arch Linux btw.

So yesterday, after standing an hour in line at college to pay for a reexamination, I got sent home along with 20 other people. The reason? The pc with the student database had to update windows.

Undoing a security patch with an Update ! Well done Apple 🤣

Update Table_Name Set Column_Name = ‘New Value’;

Commit;

I did this on prod and my manager started screaming on me.

Is there any issue in it?

- New Windows installation
- Decides to update windows
- 5 hour leater:
- Still updating: 2/583727
- Thinks Linux is better
- Stay in front of my computer waiting for the update to finish

when will the next update roll out? (devrant unofficial uwp)

I think the changelog will be an essay.....

@JS96

New, windows update

What's up with the long windows update?
It's been 3 hours now :/

Windows update is karma

maybe, that's a minor update to your policy, but it's a major update to my privacy. No, thanks.

*visual studio installer needs to update*

Oh for fuck sake, who's bloody idea was that...

I see a lot of rants about Linux dual boot with Windows and Windows update fucks up grub. So I bought a new ssd and reinstalled Linux, but damn.. its always a lot of work to make everything work again. Every time I still learn new things and I don't have to be afraid anymore after Windows update

Is Windows programmed to update as soon as you're done for the day?!? 🤔😫

Windows: restarting in 10 seconds

Me: probably just a bug or something like that *click OK button*

10 seconds later

Me: it's no a bug! IT'S NOT A BUG! let me save my stuff

(I don't now why windows did that it made some kind of update without warning except for the 10 seconds and then I had some problem s like I couldn't connect to a SQL server and the computer was super slow)

Pressed update and shutdown which lead to a BSOD
And now the windows won't boot.
Well played windows

Needed to update one column in table A with data from table B (huge table).

Created awesome update query with join between the two tables.

A few hours later realized all data in table A is already being imported from table B in a query executed earlier in the process...

"Dear Windows staff,

To think a fatal error screen can be shown beautifully is likeable.
To add in a QR code to be redirected to some assistance is likeable.
But like things that are likeable, THEY DON'T NEED TO BE REGULARLY SHOVED TO THE FACE !

Sincerest regards,
One who desperately wants to shutdown Windows Update once and for all.

When you flash a BIOS update and find out that your OS ain't booting.

Years ago, Microsoft didn't update your Windows without asking!

So our city’s bus service provider has decided to update the software for their “iPoints”, I think they haven’t thought this rollout through.

I don't know about alcohol , but this windows update crap is going to give me cancer one day 😠

[UPDATE] on my newly joined internship

Considering how corporate the organisation is, I'm surprised how chill everyone is. My team consists of mostly millennials, which is great!
Everyone is super helpful, I honestly thought it'd be shitty experience joining in and it'd all be so formal but none!
First few days I got no work, so I went and asked my mentor and he just laughed and said go home, watch Netflix, which I definitely didn't expected cause corporates

I got web testing work twice (sad I didn't get more, but in time it will increase), got some research work currently which is cool too.

Honestly, I wasn't excited to join as I didn't know what kinda work would I even get(it was pretty vague) but I'm glad I got this.
I'll continue to update here, and sorry I couldn't update any sooner

Cheers my dudes

Why do I always assume it'll be a quick update...

Best update ever 😁

The newest Win10 Update freed up 13GB on a 32GB laptop, so fucking happy, holy shit - I had to watch every little thing that couldn't go onto the microsd because windows was always leaving me only max. 2GB, now I can just blast it all onto the fast storage!

What a crappy unreliable way to handle issues during software update. App name is Mi Fit.

This is what you get when you buy 30$ smart bands. Keep trying until your update is successful.

When windows update breaks external audio card 😫

Just upgraded to a pending windows update.

Worst decision of my life.

#fml

Initiate update of 1 nuget (20+ projects)
Go poop
Come back
It's not done yet

another big applaus for windows 10 update getting stuck and fucking up my whole GRUB!
I'm not even able to boot from live cd or select OS by UEFI anymore..

Was watching a movie with other people. But when it got to the climax....

Java. Flippin'. Update.

"20 million devices uses..." "Shuddup."

How to manage updates on production as web agency

1: Update the GitHub private repo with your changes
2: Write an email to the customer sysadmin and ask to sync in staging and later production
3: Wait 2 weeks and do another ping about it
4: The sysadmin later will do that
5: In the meantime there is a security update of your CMS and a lot of plugins to update
6: Try to update from the CMS panel and there are no write permission
7: Cry a lot and write another email to go back to point 2

"You're the kind of programmer who pushes windows update every fucking time I need my pc".

The feeling of joy when you really have to finish something and a automated windows update deletes your IDE because windows assumes it isn't compatible with the new update.

Windows update process takes half an hour. Restart pc.
A message: "updates have been installed" ...

Ffs You think I didn't notice? And why is there no more information? What exactly did you need this half hour of updating for? At least give me a changelog, or the biggest changes.

To all those whining about sudden windows 10 update, or don't want to update their windows, please go to
Administrative tools->services->Disable windows update.
Enough of blue screens in my devRant feed.

microsoft office on a mac:

update the updater, so you can update your office

"I love Windows 10's unexpected critical update timings" - Said no one EVER!!!!

When you go to update your Mac think great I’ll go chill out for half hour, let it update and hit restart, then come back to your computer and realise Mamp stopped your computer restarting without entering a password. FFS rookie error put in the password computer restarts to update. “Calculating time remaining...” 40 minutes. I’m so fucking bored right now just staring at the screen and having a rant.

A mandatory update (for security) for MS Outlook has just broken the badge indicator for new emails 🤡

Every windows update makes me feel like buying a mac

!rant
So...i have lost the count of the number of posts ranting about W10 sudden restarts because of the updates. Many people lost their valuable work and many more were just annoyed by this occurence...
But it has NEVER happened to me. Every time there was a pop-up message asking me if it was an appropriate time to update. On some occassions i would postpone the same update for numerous times, and it still did not force-restart my laptop.

Question: Is my machine buggy or do people do not know how to set working hours on their machines and postpone their updates?

So I actually got an update for my PC at work, proposing me to postpone it or to do it later. I postpone it to one hour later, since I'll be buying food for lunch, it can update and reboot.

When I came back from lunch, laptop is asking me to postpone or do the update right now. So I sigh because the laptop just stayed locked without doing anything, and ask it to do the update in 4 hours, when I'll be leaving.

2 minutes later, it forces me to update with the "30 min left before rebooting", so I sigh again, closes everything and reboot.

Since it's a Windows, it's slow on booting by definition. Plus launching Slack, Eclipse, Firefox, VLC. Takes time. Plus launching the server. +1000 files to compile then deploying.

I lost 20 minutes because of that edgy bitch called "update".

another windows 10 FORCE UPDATE just messed up my whole system. My mouse is not working properly, every app is become unresponsive within a few minutes, every window is needing life time to load, every folder is needing lifetime to navigate, Android Studio is taking hours to fire up. Why Microsoft!! WHY!!!???

Me, doing a large update on a table without backup and dry run.

I never asked for a automatic update

Regarding the Aug 19 devRant update - I am amazed at what you guys do. We are fortunate to have @dfox and @trogus building devRant and listening to the community input. It gets better each month. Onward and upward!

Roses are red, I ride on my scooter. There is a new update to your Windows computer.

So, whenever I delay windows 10 update restart a few times, things start breaking. Wifi doesn't work, 100% cpu, ram or mem usage, sound problems etc. And all this goes away once I submit my soul and update. I'm sick of this shit 😡. Today I got a BSOD after which it updated and things seem fine FOR NOW.
Does this happen to other Win 10 users?

What the hell Windows !!!
I go for a 15 minutes break, and you decide to close everything and make an update??

Let me do my job you sob.

Even seniors make mistakes. In case you were ever doubting yourself - just remember that.

I just had a very senior level programmer on my staff add a function to a production system that issues an SQL UPDATE query without a WHERE clause. Fortunately, only the 1st entry succeeded and the rest failed due to "duplicate record" errors. Clearly he had intended to do a SELECT to check if an entry was present. If it was present, do an UPDATE, otherwise do an INSERT (think UPSERT - but done manually). However instead in the insert part they were both UPDATE's. The first update was normal looking but the second UPDATE was just this weird malformed-looking thing where he tried to do an UPDATE but to every field including the key fields. Clearly he was thinking about an insert but actually writing it as an update. Every now and then I need to remind myself that these things happen. The guy's not dumb - just made a mistake.

I'm just happy it "failed unsuccessfully".

devRant can use an update where the notifications get split into comments and +1s because I do like replying to comments but they're scattered in between +1s just too messy

can't believe I'm so eager to go to work early today (to download windows 10 anniversary update)

ps- my office internet >> home

What's so damn hard about a simple change log when you update your app? Or at least point me to somewhere where I can see that. Ugh. Come on.

When Xcode 9.3 is available, but Swift.org hasn’t updated to Swift 4.1 yet.
What the hell? 🤦🏻‍♂️

Update:: just kidding, it shows apparently. Ugh.

All I wanted to do want uninstall an extension from Visual Studio and then a message came up "Please update Visual Studio Installer before proceeding."

Thanks Microsoft for another shit experience with Windows Update 😒

Dear app, if you say that your update is for bug fixes, you better fix all those bugs instead of releasing and releasing an update with the same bugs still there. Better look into the UI/UX issues too. Your app looks horrible! Last time I was involved in it, everything is looking so fine I haven't had a bad review for a long time. Hope you can read this. #ktnxbye

When windows decides to force you to update when shutting down, like no problem, not like I have a fucking deadline or anything.

Booting up my Windows computer at work after 1 year leave. I'm gonna do a Windows Update.

I suspect I'm not going to get anything else done today.

thank god, Microsoft decided not to use lignite coal for updating their OS. I was worried to update windows, it used to cause so much smog in the neighbourhood, one uncle even died because of lead poisioning.

now, I can update Windows in peace, no more pollution.

TLDR; macOS wouldn’t update to the version I needed because I have a 3rd party SSD. All I needed was a firmware update only found deep within a google search and a secondary SO answer.

I have a video edit project this weekend. No big deal.

Except that the Final Cut Pro project was saved in the latest version of FCPX, for which I need latest MacOS version

As a music producer on the side, I had heard the new file system of MacOS High Sierra would possibly break audio plugins. I didn’t bother updating until now. Looked further into plugin problem, it would be simply a broken hard link which I can easily fix. No big deal.

Except that I have upgraded my MBP SSD from 256gb to this 3rd party 480gb SSD. macOS does not recognize this SSD as compatible with update. No big deal. Simple google search for a terminal command would do the trick.

Except that I found and tried several solutions, including wasting an entire hour updating the original ssd and booting from that to try to update it.

Nothing worked, but deep down in the google search, found in a secondary answer on SO, there was a link for a beta release of a firmware update for the SSD that took two minutes to install, and I was finally able to update.

That firmware update needs to be more prominent everywhere. Wasted well over 3-4 hours updating crap, swapping out SSDs, and googling when all I needed was a fucking firmware update.

Had a Windows update the other day. Now hyperv isn't working anymore.

I fixed it but why the fuck does the update change the group policy settings? It's supposed to update the system not poke around in my settings!

I'm currently missing a university class because of a wincrap update I didn't consent to. It didn't even ask if it can reboot, it just randomly did it while I was working.

Do I have some sort of legal grounds to sue?

New AltRant update!

This update features a fix for instability issues in the Notifications tab. All users that are in the testing group - please update soon! I am giving you a 3-day update window.

So for those of you that remember my fax machine post I have an update!

We where still getting people calling up and making the fax machine ring but Amazon delivered a new fax machine today and it seems to all be working now, no more ringing fax machine!!!

@dfox @trogus Thanks for update. This is refreshing.

So Windows released a faulty update that broke the driver for my external harddrive. Now I don't have enough space for the update...

Just when I thought Microsoft is going in the right direction with the launch of dark Surface products and dark mode for Windows, they took all my hopes away with their shitty Windows Update thing. Completed download and rebooted to find out that the update has vanished. Great, thanks for wasting my data, Windows. :3