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- Everything works 10 minutes before presentation
- Nothing works on presentation
- Cry myself in toilet after presentation9 -
Saying that Java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on every gender.7
-
If something works badly on macOS, people blame a specific application. If something works badly on Windows, people blame Windows.
🤔😶11 -
1. Code works
2. Add if statement
3. Code breaks
4. Comment out if statement
5. Code works
6. Uncomment if statement
7. Code works
8. Wtf??12 -
Anyone ever had the opposite of "It works on my machine"? (Works everywhere else, just not on my machine)16
-
Every time I hear a developer say "works for me", I'm gonna hide a service of mine that they use behind the VPN.
Dev: "oy mate, this server is down"
Me (with VPN connection): "sorry mate, works for me"
Dev: "but here, check this out, it's down!!"
Me: "mate, check your network connection. You must have a shitty network connection."
Dev: -_-
Me: "Maybe shitty hardware? Driver issues on your network card? 🤭"
Because you know, we sysadmins can do that too 😉26 -
We are transferring our infrastructure to Google cloud and Docker. Last week one of our frontend developers tell me:
But it works without Docker!
9 -
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
IT WORKS AFTER 3 HOURS!
YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH6 -
My Hackintosh project works! The GTX 1050 Ti runs, it boots without USB needed and even audio works!
27 -
It works!! IT WORKS!!! IT MOTHERF@CKING WORKS!!
My private program FINALLY WORKS, and DOES WHAT ITS SUPPOSED TO....
YAAAAAYYYY!!!4 -
me: your code base is vulnerable, you are not using prepared statements
him: not an issue, nobody knows
me: ...
me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯13 -
Wow, well done Me, pretty successful robot here!
(In all fairness, the wheels don't fall off too much)
12 -
"Apple, it just works"
People, we might have misinterpreted the "just"!
"Apple, it only works [the way Apple meant for it to work]"9 -
"HTML and Css don't work well together" - some wisdom from my coworker after meddling with some height settings in css8
-
Website A = Website B
Script to import CSV file on Website A = works
Script to import CSV file on Website B = !works
Clock = 4am
Me = null9 -
All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.
2 -
So there's a recent rant, about making a website work for IE.
I get it, you don't want to make it work for IE because you don't use IE.
But get this: you're not doing the site FOR YOU. You're doing it for the intended user, which is a lot of users that use all kinds of shit. If you don't want to do that, get the fuck out of web development, or from development overall. It's not for you.
I remember when I started my career, I had to make a web app that was intended to be used by, say, 100 people. As a developer I had the best tools for that - cool new 19" monitors, good GPU able to spit out a humongous resolution, and I designed that portal to look great. You know what my superior did then? He took away my 19" monitor and gave me a 14" monitor instead, saying that I became a spoiled brat that totally ignored the customer. I was angry at that, but immediately realized that he was completely right.
It doesn't matter! that it works on your machine. Who the fuck cares about your machine?
Does the software work for the intended user? If not, then you're a shitty developer.22 -
You know you're passionate when you won't sleep until it works. Then after it worked, you're not satisfied. You still want to make it robust and then...
"Is that the sun?"
Being a programmer is such a roller coaster feeling. Sometimes, you extremely hate what you're doing. But you still persevere and that's just wonderful.
!!!rant -
Holy shit balls it works (so far)
-
So I’ve been working on a project... well feature for the past year (yes 12 whole fucking months - anti agile I know)
And today I got to merge that bitch of a pull request into the current working branch and deploy it to UAT - no conflicts 😵I think I need to put the lottery on tonight!
And some how, by some stupid lucky roll of the dice it just works.
I have never felt so afraid and delighted in my life!6 -
why the fuck do people on here like firefox quantum:
- windows: works, does its job well, but fuck it!
- php: works, does its job well, but fuck it!
- wordpress: kinda does its job, but fuck it!
- firefox quantum: works, does its job well, but ❤️ it13 -
If you haven't seen silicon valley... Do... For the love of God do.
And if you don't like it one... We will never get on, it's god damn hilarious ... Constantly
3rd time I've watched them all
It's perfect.10 -
!rant
Those feelings you get when you deploy a large integration project that’s taken over a month to build and it just works 🤗2 -
Me: I want to learn Clojure
Me: But I need real tasks to learn
Me: OK, reconnecting device with wireless adb
Inner me: Are you kidding? 5 lines with bash
Me: In clojure it will be more elegant and faster to write similar tasks in future
*2 hours later*
Me: IT WORKS
Internal me: Really? This is ugly as fuck. And the only clojure feature it uses - sh and re-find
Me: But... It... Works... *cries* -
"But...it works locally", said the tired dev who hasn't had his morning coffee yet. It's going to be one of those days.2
-
I have a love and hate relationship with programming. You'll see me as the happiest and most motivated person ever. The next minute, you'll see me as an extremely depressed suicidal person. Then when a code works, I jump like hell.1
-
SPA I made:
- works on any major desktop browser(Chrome/Chromium, Firefox, Vivaldi) on Windows and arch
- works on any browser on any Android phone (version >= 4.x.x)
- Works on a freaking fridge
- Does not work on iPhone ...wtf apple6 -
When your school is called technical but nothing is working properly.. And we need to do our final exam on those computers 😐7
-
College: „man, the project works in chrome but doesn’t in IE“
Me: „so, what is your problem ? The app works as designed“6 -
*doing the happy dance*
🕺💃🕺🎶🕺💃🕺🎶🎶🕺💃🕺
IT WORKS!! It finally WORKS!!! For the first time. AND IT WORKS!!!
```
^s^s^s^s^s^s^s
git add .
git commit -m 'IT WORKS!!!!'
git push origin
git push backup1
git push backup2
```
*continues with the dance*8 -
me: "my code works"
him: "no it doesnt, it crashes"
me: "..but it works on mine......"
and then i have to redo it again1 -
Me: “We should use WordPress so the marketing person doesn’t have to wait weeks to get on our dev schedule to make simple edits.”
Boss: “You’re fired for even suggesting we use WordPress. We are more pure than this.”
Me: *leaves company*
3 years later, company uses WordPress after boss who fired me is also fired.13 -
Today I reached a point where I made an really bad looking, uneficient, unreadable function, but it works!, That's what counts right?!
Just kidding, I just couldn't fix it, hopefully the me from tomorrow will be smarter.7 -
Is it just me or what. I had begun learning web development (but prefer C, shell scripting, Linux... ).
One thing that amazes me - besides having to learn 1356367626785576 technologies to get something done and the fact we get a fresh new amazing framework every 0.00000000000234 seconds - is CSS.
Amazing, I made a navigation bar where I wanted the items to be displayed in the horizontal position, so I
.navbar li, a {display:inline-block}
Works fine.
Next day I'm doing the same from scratch, doesn't fucking work. I look the previous design, HTML structure looks identical, I only use a different font face and colors.
After a while I randomly decided to put a <div> around the a element in order to do something else, update the page and... Voilá, text is in line.
Like... Wtf.
I'm like fuck it. No way I want to work with this shit, let's go back to shell.6 -
My biggest insecurity? CSS, of course. God knows how that shit works. I just keep on trying until it works.
5 -
I have successfully employed a function that uses recursion....
Because I stubbornly tried every possible iteration of the code until it became right.
I still don't get why it works.7 -
Mention support link support is here! It took me a while but I successfully implemented it and it took way longer than it should’ve.
9 -
I finally found it!
I set up an self-hosted gitlab at our company and for some reason everything worked except for one thing: using git (clone, push, etc) via SSH.
The solution was on the 'common installation problems' page at gitlab, but it took me a long time finding it through Google.
I read through the auth.log and realized the 'git' user was locked. Swapped the '!' for a '*' in the /etc/shadow and now it works. -
Project Lead: “This needs to be fixed until Friday, no matter what!”
This is not how this works, that’s not how any of this works...3 -
Debugging stage always consist of three phases:
1. It doesn't work.
2. It works.
3. It definitely works :)2 -
I had no idea of how to implement the logic of a ticket. That's why I started with creating some unit tests that failed. Then I continued working until they all passed.
So it works now.
I have still no idea of how I implemented the logic.3 -
Today’s DevOps public service announcement... don’t test your server provisioning scripts locally. Especially when this gem is in there:
rm -f ~/.ssh/id_rsa
echo ‘vault secret/ssh_key’ > ~/.ssh/id_rsa
Well, I no longer have my key, but the script works! I’m sitting with a very locked down server key6 -
That specific moment a C# Developer (me) makes an API for Modding his own game but the mod language is Lua.
(And it works)
6 -
I'm supposed to be sleeping... It's 12:30 am.... But I don't feel like sleeping...
And so I started browsing devrant...
But then I realized something... the screen is too bright.... not gone help me fall asleep....
Then remembered...I have flux installed but disabled.... for months...
Just turned on before writing this...
The screen is so much nicer to look at.... And now I'm feeling sleepy...4 -
Don't you just hate it when your code works but you have no idea why, so you spend 30 minutes trying to figure out why it works?1
-
"Got a new soundcard yay, lemme Install it!"
*5 mins later*
"why won't it give me sound ffs, the input works just fine"
*5 mins later*
"Great, sound output works"
*taps mic*
"oh ffs..."
*5 mins later*
"yay, input now works"
*puts on some music*
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHINEDOWS!?"5 -
*has a test in school on html and javascript*
*Studies a lot and checks to see if code works*
*it works*
*goes into test confident*
*None of the Javascript works* (legit nothing)
Kill me6 -
Submitting my changes for review and my CTO catches the line:
```js
console.log("It fucking works")
```7 -
PSA MacOS Sierra 10.12 will make any user who wasn't the original admin user a standard user, it will also reset the original admin users password back to whatever it was when the MacBook was first set up. It all just works!
-
>Sets up a personal VPN
>Works on Android
>Works on Windows
>Works on Linux
>Doesn't work on MacOS
...Thanks, Apple... I guess someone always has to be the weird one out.3 -
HAPPINESS IS
...when the code works!
"especially when vertical align works in a way you never thought it would..."1 -
My laptop has its own life...
I arrived at the lecture, start the laptop, black screen... Alrighty, might be the update from yesterday, I will just revert to the old version. Nothing... After multiple reboots and troubleshooting, I put my laptop down and go the old way of sitting down notes.
Then I come home after university and I'm set on fixing my laptop. I start it, it works perfectly fine...
I'm not even sure what fixed it..6 -
"I am the code of my program
HTML is my body and CSS my blood
I have created over a thousand websites
Unknown to Google,
Nor to hosters.
Have withstood sleep to create many websites
Yet those hands will never earn anything
So as I pray, limited budget works"2 -
I've been a Windows OS user for nearly 20 years, Mac OS user for nearly 2. (Java/ C# dev)
I've had more BSOD on the Mac than on Windows. I've had 2 today, once when opening the laptop after not touching it this weekend, second whole in a debug of an app.6 -
There is how you think a system works, and there is how it actually works. Unit tests help keep those two ideas in sync with each other7
-
Theory is when you know everything, but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In my project group, theory and practice are combined: nothing works and no one knows why.1 -
Hmm. This code needs refactoring.
*recodes on Local and uploads*
Works on my branch.
*git push origin master and merge*
Works on Dev.
*deploy to Test*
Works on Test.
*deploy to Live*
Doesn't work.
*compares Live to Test, Dev, and Local*
No f$@%^%%$# difference!?!!
*quits development and lives under a bridge*5 -
Saying Java is good because it works on every operating system, is like saying anal sex is good, because it works with every gender!9
-
Experienced programmer:
Code works in head; code almost works in computer; code never works with client.
Beginner programmer:
Code almost works in head; code never works in computer; code will never work with client.
Long story short: it's hard to begin but when you let the code flow, you became a programmer -
Me: "Oh right I still had to fix that"
Me: *fixes thing*
Me: *checks on staging to make sure it all works*
Thing: *works absolutely fine*
Me: "Cool, let's promote it"
Me: *updates production stack*
Me: *checks on production to make sure it works*
Thing: *still broken*
dsfhjh dsaghdsaupot nvhudfot vnhgue6 -
I thought the “works on my machine” from sysadmins is mostly a joke...
But no. I’m attending the Polish high school and I have a lessons via the Internet. I wasn’t able to hear the voice of the teacher on Linux 4.18 and Chromium browser, so I sent the mail to support to report it. Of course it “works on their machines”...6 -
Anyone else just nest a bunch of ifs and loops and feel absolutely disgusted but it works so you don't want to refactor it?
5 -
It works. My code fucking works. It shouldn't. I got tons of errors, I changed to some obscure shit, expecting it to fail, but it fucking works. I should be happy, but I'm mad for not understanding how.3
-
That awesome feeling you get when your linux project finally works .... and you dont know why but it works.
-
Needed texts to call-duty with the gist of the incident. Implemented, works.
PM wants to also ring the phone, cause text may not wake them up.
Me, telling him, that his tools don’t allow me to call him. However, I said, I could send the text as a fax msg, which would end up “ringing” mr call-duties phone, and then fax-Morse-beep the msg to him.
PM was ok w/ that.2 -
First time I've been out all spring or is it summer 😬 been coding my life away
It's nice outside!
Back to work4 -
:-(
Firefox doesn't map correctly the controller (Xbox One) but it works on Chrome. (FF on Android Works)
This is literally the first time (for me) that something works on Chrome and not on FF. (at first shot)
usually it is the opposite.
One point for Chrome (this time)
but still 6,022*10²³ Points for FF.3 -
Imposter syndrome comes from a lack of experience. Experience comes from trying things and figuring out what works. Find people with experience and ask them what works.2
-
Do love it when your code works and the system to implement it works.
But when you run it, it doesn't work.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ -
Have you ever built something that works, but then you had to spend the next two hours trying figure out how the hell it works?2
-
This is my first blog article about the history and how JavaScript works
https://dev.to/thegamefreak720/...1 -
When you code sth. From ground up and it works everything without any errors as you wanted, even though you’re using 2 APIs in about 20 lines. This feels so good :)
-
A developer couldn't get a application performance monitoring (APM) tool to trace his application. They claimed that their libraries and their configurations were alright and that the APM tool was non-performant.
The developer then argues with sysadmin that the APM tool can't trace the application and that there's nothing wrong with the application or the configurations. When sysadmin questions whether the developer got the tool to work anywhere, they say, "No" and head off to make it work at least in one place. They come back saying that it works on their development environment (which is their local machine). Sysadmin claims that the system configurations on the server instances cannot be matched by the development environment and there could be a lot more factors to be considered for the problem. The sysadmin asks to prove it on a server instance on one of the test environments and then they'd agree that it is a problem with the tool. They also argue that this is not the only application that uses the APM tool and the tool happily traces other applications with no issues.
The developer tries the same configuration on a staging instance and fails. In order to make it work, they silently uninstall the existing version of the APM tool and then compiles an unstable branch of the tool. It finally works with this version.
They go back to the sysadmin and show that it works on the staging environment, but does not on production. After banging their head on the wall for a while, the sysadmin figure that the tool had been swapped out for the unstable branch that was manually compiled. When questioned, the developer responds, "It works with this version on staging, so deploy the same version on production"
WTF? You don't deploy an unstable branch to production. Just because you can't make it work on the stable branch doesn't mean that it is the problem with the tool itself. There's a big difference between a stable branch and a non-stable branch. How would you feel if the sysadmin retorted by asking you to deploy the staging branch of your application to production? -
Fucking remote db doesn't want to work with me and workbench. DB is on an empty test server, no firewall issues on the network, powershell on my pc says ping ok, tcp failing though, server firewall not running, server up and running.
Tried to modify network access on db configs like bind-adress, set my db user "host" value to wildcard. Now I can log in on workbench with my user, yet root somehow fails, wtf?
And of course once the connection is live, no db us visible, accessible, nothing works. I'm so frustrated. About to nuke it and restart ... again!13 -
God, I love when I just want to contribute a little to a project, but the maintainer doesn't seem to have tested the setup once ..
Guess I will search for something else then .. -
Figured I'd play around with Linux for the first time. I followed instructions to create bootable flash drive. I then proceeded to lose an hour just trying to get Ubuntu to do something after booting from it. The welcome UI becomes unresponsive every time.
14 -
I accidentally deployed a patch to the development server instead of the production server (which is what I wanted) and somehow it was also deployed to production. I have no idea how, but everything's working so idgaf. If it works it's all good.7
-
First thing that I do with weird bug: trying to execute buggy code inside runOnUiThread{} / DispatchQueue.main.async{} and see if it works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-
There was a project I took over that was supposed to be at 90% when the previous developer quit. The project was in QA with some "minor" bugs that needed to be fixed. When I looked at the minor bugs I realized that the project had major underlying data issues. So after working 80 hour weeks I managed to hobble it together and make the release date.
That was a little over three years ago. Since then another developer has taken over maintenance and enhancements on the product and overall the application works pretty well for what it is.
So his analogy is, that the application is a tank that was made out of aluminum foil that has been hit many times in battle. Whenever it has been hit we have patched the tank with random things like bricks, soda bottles, and old car doors yet somehow it keeps going. The tank is still surviving the war but we really don't know how.
🐜 -
Fuckadoodling finally!
After 3 days of digging through the documentation of CraftCMS and Yii Framework I got the hang out of how these Controllers, Actions and other RESTful api stuff works on Craft3.
As some of you may have noticed, I am a big fan of CraftCMS (v2) since it was introduced to me. A few days ago we discussed a new project and the option go for Craft3, as it has been released for some time now.
The changes from v2 to v3 are huge... I didn't expect to almost reach my limit to give up on it!
But since the RESTful routes finally work, with proper data serializing and all, I will now go drink a Whiskey or ten and wish you all an awesome, client-disturbance-free, decadent, beerful weekend!
Cheers mateys!
🎉🎊🍭🥃🥃🥃🍻🍺🥂 -
test feature before demo, works fine
during demo flakes out in front of audience
try again after demo, works fine3 -
We had programming classes in school today and I was using same computer yesterday but today it wouldn't boot up properly. So what I did is I have just restarted it multiple times and now it works again. I don't know why this happened but if it works I won't question it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1
-
Spent the last few days trying to solve a weird issue with our CI/CD pipeline for a project. Yesterday i finally gave up and told my coworker that i need a fresh set of eyes to look at this.
I leave for lunch, an hour later I'm back and brought fire and fury to the mix.. Then, 2 hours later i raised my hands and my mouth uttered the glorious words of victory: Fuck yeah, it works.
Mood was still shit though... 1 bug down, 99 life problems remain 😢 -
Scenario 1) Server -> proxy -> client
Scenario 2) Server -> proxy -> 2nd proxy -> client
Scenario 1 works on some web browsers
Scenario 2 always works3 -
Tmw your carefully crafted plan of some feature you thought would be a particually bit of tricky code turns, through a bit of stumbling and trial and error, into something even better than your well calculated plans -- however clever you thought you were -- you have to admit that the result exceeded your expectations and intelligence. Especially when it works!1
-
Anyone here uses vim as an ide? I just read about it and was wondering if that is possible ... And if it really works well ...
I know, if I want an ide I should use an actual ide, but I thought this might be interesting, since vim is so powerful like everyone said.10 -
it works on my machine. this is quite disappointing and keeps me from trying to solve the problem from home.
i was even psychologically prepared to ask on stackoverflow, but now i'll have to wait until returning back to work...5 -
How do you manage your time after works for your side projects?
These days I'm being a victim of random frequent procrastination after office works.5 -
My dilemna right now is whether should I:
- test the new idea to see if it works so I can go to sleep in peace
- or not test the new idea before I go to sleep so maybe I can sleep in peace. Just not at peace with myself.2 -
That feeling when a new feature works on a local build, works on the development server, and works on the QA/UAT server, and then still breaks production when deployed.2
-
Writing a x-platform cli tool in Go designed to be an infinite REPL until EOF if no arguments are passed. Code works great on Linux and Mac as-is but not on Windows. On Windows it only works at all if args are passed.
WHY.
And people wonder why I don't like Windows. It's a shame my userbase has so many tech-saavy Windows users. If not for them I'd cut that git branch off the repo in a heartbeat. -
Getting the angular interceptor working the way I want has proven to be a pain for me. I try to update an auth token, which returns a promise that has to be transformed to an observable again. based on that, redirect to a login page, in case of 401. But nothing works! Either infinite page reload because of the login() promise function of the auth provider or no reaction at all after a router redirect. 😤4
-
Company website created by a third party developers ( paid ) and after a year the new company team does not like the design and asks the inhouse developer hired to create internal apps ( develop office workflow related apps) to change the design of the website and not be paid for it (add new work to the list of works and not be paid extra).
And that they don't want to pay someone to do it again and when the dev ask them what they want in the website , it seems like they are focused on updating content ( which they have access with the wordpress admin panel they have been given ) and a bit of design changes which a dev would do within a few hours and they will have to pay v little for it.
Why does ppl think that devs have all the time in the world to do free stuff !!! and most of the times we are doing more that everyone else in the workplace combined and when we don't do something its like you are not corporating with us, u don't work much and u have too much free time. -
Maybe it's just me, but:
1. Never works on first try:
doStuffWithWhile()
while (someShitIsNotOver)
doShit()
2. Works like a charm:
doStuffWithManualLoop()
doShit()
if (someShitIsNotOver)
doStuffWithManualLoop()6 -
Had one of my spookiest meetings today. Mr git master still had the dailies in the calendar, but he's the scrum master without a scrum and I was the only one to join. Some bitter remarks alluded to the fight with my boss, but otherwise he was mostly going on about how we should build a docker container to automatically build our build system and how to achieve this perfection in his previous company they needed three month - while our current project is already due in December including testing. I don't know.. still - theoretically he seems to know his stuff, but in the end you have to compile shit and make it fly, or at least not let it drown to heavily.
Anyway, awkward silence setting in, when he's still talking on and my boss enters the meeting room. Some heavy sand in the works.
Should I rejoice like them?
https://youtube.com/watch/... -
I had to generate different kinds of graphs at compiletime and had to compile a graph and write down the code size for that specific width/height in addition to one of three implementations which all need to be evaluated. I computer scienced the shit out of it!
I wrote some Rust code that easily lets me build some graphs with the dimensions passed as input parameter. Then i wrote a method that converts the graph into the definition of the graph in a C header (sadly the only way) and wrote a bash script that executes that rust code with all possible dimensions and saves the header into my source folder. Then i build the application and write the programsize into a file.
In the next step i run a python script that reads all the generated files with the sizes and created a csv file which in turn can be used by excel/numbers to visualize the dependency between depth of graph and code size 😄
I had only some hours for it all, it is messy but works 😄 -
Unable to give detailed explanation of how my code works. Like why do I need to explain as long it works 😏4
-
How Computer system works?
Code Input --> Result
How Human system works?
Coffee Input --> Code Output
Together we can
Coffee Input--> Code --> Result1 -
Fun Question Friday: What music best represents how you feel when your code finally works?
My answer:
https://youtu.be/mj-v6zCnEaw -
Wrote my Java servlet/JSP homework assignment and it works perfectly on localhost. Upload the WAR file to remote and nothing works >:(
-
Capitalism - the only moral system ever devised. Nope not devised, realised it actually works. Markets works, market flourishes. Price discovery works.
Shelves running out of stock around the world should give a taste of communism and central planning. Centralists have no clue what everyone needs.9
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