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Search - "😜"
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Boys use the word FRIENDSHIP to strart the relationship...
Girl use the word FRIENDSHIP to end the relationship...
Real example of Polymorphism...😜😜😜2 -
Agency: " Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements, now how do you want their placements sir?"
M.D: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room & close the door, leave them alone & come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:-
1) If they are counting the bricks, Put them in Accounts deptt.
2) If they are re-counting the bricks, Put them in Auditing.
3) If they have messed up the whole room with the bricks, Put them in Engineering.
4) If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, Put them in Planning.
5) If they are throwing the bricks at each other, Put them in Operations.
6) If they are sleeping, Put them in Security.
7) If they have broken the bricks into pieces, Put them in Information Technology.
8) If they are sitting idle, Put them in Human Resources.
9) If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, Put them in Sales.
10) If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.
11) If they are staring out of the window, Put them in Strategic Planning.
And.......
12) If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
😂🤣😃😁😅😜6 -
So I went for interview today.
.
.
Interviewer : Can u give some theory test about php?
Me : Sir, Can u please open your site?
Interviewer: sure 🙂
Me : Sir, I just logged in as Owner of ur company, Your site is not protected from sql injection.
Interviewer : 😌😌
Me : Sir, test?? 😜
xxxxxxxxxxx -------------------- xxxxxxxxx20 -
Hacking/attack experiences...
I'm, for obvious reasons, only going to talk about the attacks I went through and the *legal* ones I did 😅 😜
Let's first get some things clear/funny facts:
I've been doing offensive security since I was 14-15. Defensive since the age of 16-17. I'm getting close to 23 now, for the record.
First system ever hacked (metasploit exploit): Windows XP.
(To be clear, at home through a pentesting environment, all legal)
Easiest system ever hacked: Windows XP yet again.
Time it took me to crack/hack into today's OS's (remote + local exploits, don't remember which ones I used by the way):
Windows: XP - five seconds (damn, those metasploit exploits are powerful)
Windows Vista: Few minutes.
Windows 7: Few minutes.
Windows 10: Few minutes.
OSX (in general): 1 Hour (finding a good exploit took some time, got to root level easily aftewards. No, I do not remember how/what exactly, it's years and years ago)
Linux (Ubuntu): A month approx. Ended up using a Java applet through Firefox when that was still a thing. Literally had to click it manually xD
Linux: (RHEL based systems): Still not exploited, SELinux is powerful, motherfucker.
Keep in mind that I had a great pentesting setup back then 😊. I don't have nor do that anymore since I love defensive security more nowadays and simply don't have the time anymore.
Dealing with attacks and getting hacked.
Keep in mind that I manage around 20 servers (including vps's and dedi's) so I get the usual amount of ssh brute force attacks (thanks for keeping me safe, CSF!) which is about 40-50K every hour. Those ip's automatically get blocked after three failed attempts within 5 minutes. No root login allowed + rsa key login with freaking strong passwords/passphrases.
linu.xxx/much-security.nl - All kinds of attacks, application attacks, brute force, DDoS sometimes but that is also mostly mitigated at provider level, to name a few. So, except for my own tests and a few ddos's on both those domains, nothing really threatening. (as in, nothing seems to have fucked anything up yet)
How did I discover that two of my servers were hacked through brute forcers while no brute force protection was in place yet? installed a barebones ubuntu server onto both. They only come with system-default applications. Tried installing Nginx next day, port 80 was already in use. I always run 'pidof apache2' to make sure it isn't running and thought I'd run that for fun while I knew I didn't install it and it didn't come with the distro. It was actually running. Checked the auth logs and saw succesful root logins - fuck me - reinstalled the servers and installed Fail2Ban. It bans any ip address which had three failed ssh logins within 5 minutes:
Enabled Fail2Ban -> checked iptables (iptables -L) literally two seconds later: 100+ banned ip addresses - holy fuck, no wonder I got hacked!
One other kind/type of attack I get regularly but if it doesn't get much worse, I'll deal with that :)
Dealing with different kinds of attacks:
Web app attacks: extensively testing everything for security vulns before releasing it into the open.
Network attacks: Nginx rate limiting/CSF rate limiting against SYN DDoS attacks for example.
System attacks: Anti brute force software (Fail2Ban or CSF), anti rootkit software, AppArmor or (which I prefer) SELinux which actually catches quite some web app attacks as well and REGULARLY UPDATING THE SERVERS/SOFTWARE.
So yah, hereby :P39 -
Caller : Hi, our printer is not working.
Customer Service : What is wrong with it?
Caller : Mouse is jammed..
Customer Service : Mouse......???? Printers don't have a mouse you fool….!
Caller : Mmmmm…??..
Oh really ?...
I will send a picture, see U idiot!😡
😂😂😜😜9 -
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail!
This was something which my tech lead used to tell me when I was so obsessed with nosql databases a few years back. I would try to find problems to solve that has a use case for nosql databases or even try to convince me(I didn’t realise it back then) that I need to use nosql db for this new idea that I have, without really thinking deep enough whether the data in question is better represented using an sql schema or not.
Now, leading a team of young developers, I come across similar suggestions from few of my team members who just discovered this new and shiny tech and want to use it in production projects.
While I am not against new and shiny, it’s not a good practice to jump right in to it without exploring it deep enough or considering all the shortcomings. The most important question to ask is, whether some of the problems you are trying to solve can be solved with the current stack.
Modifying your stack requires more than just a week’s experience of playing around with the getting started guide and stack overflow replies. This is something which need to be carefully considered after taking inputs from the people who would be supporting it, that include operations, sysadmins and teams that are gonna interface with your stack indirectly.
I am not talking about delaying adoption by waiting for long list of approvals to get some thing that would bring immediate value, but a carefully orchestrated plan for why and how to migrate to a new stack.
Just because one of the tech giants made a move to a new stack and wrote about it in their engineering blog doesn’t mean that you need to make a switch in the same direction. Take a moment to analyse the possible reasons that motivated them to do it, ask yourself if your organisation is struggling with the exact same problems, observe how others facing the same issue are addressing it, and then make an informed decision.
Collect enough data to support your proposal.
Ask yourself again if you are the one holding the hammer.
If the answer is no, forge ahead!9 -
I worked at a place where the help desk guys did the good ol' "I'll send an email from your laptop if you walk away without locking it and tell everyone lunch is on you" routine. After it happened to me about 3 times I was like, "I gotta get this help desk prick back!" So after several failed attempts at walking by his pc when he walked away it instantly hit me how I can punk him back.....SO, I logged onto SQL Server, clicked open a new query window and typed up a dbmail command and on the @from parameter I set it to the help desk guy's email address. His face was PRICELESS when I was shooting off emails to the entire IT dept on behalf of him WHILE he was sitting in front of his PC. Lesson is: don't fuck with dev help desk dude! 😎😜2
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I get nervous every time I go on highway 401 and 404 in Toronto area. Cuz I feel like I'm either on the wrong highway or the highway doesn't exist. If y'all know what I mean, feel how I feel😜4
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Me visiting a bar...
While going for a smoke...
Woman: Can I ask you a very impolite and downright rude question..?
*expects a Facebook hacking question*
Me (hesitant): .. sure, ask ahead...
Woman: I've never seen you here before. Who are you?
Me: *tells name*
(thinking) not what I expected! (:
Woman: So you're living mostly on the internet?
Me: yeah pretty much... 🤔
Woman: So I live here next to that lawyer...
Me: I don't know most of the area here, where's that?
Woman: Why don't you look it up, hmm? 😜
Quality pwnage!! 😆19 -
Got a new deck of cool cards for me, my brother and a friends for their birthdays 😁
Thanks for your rant @BambuSource long time ago!
Here is the link:
https://varianto25.com/playing-card...
PS: Look at my cool Yu-Gi-Oh!-Desk 😜11 -
Do you also like the idea, if devRant would have patreon or paypal for donations?
++ the rant if you like the idea. Maybe @dfox and @trogus will consider it then 😄
Servers are not cheap and it would be great if the community would finance itself.
Sure devRant got a Store, but I live in Europe and ordering/shipping is not so cheap, we got huge taxes for it. And I dont wont to order a stressball or sticker every month.
Also every dev wishes for a beer 🍺 😜6 -
Story time!
So me, alcoholic I am, went to a local cafe because I didn't have enough booze anymore at home. Turns out that there were quite some people that wanted to get to know me!
And most importantly, there was another sysadmin (that likely saw through my funsies with some people there that I displayed termux' apt update and apt upgrade to as "evil hacking" 😜) that actually wasn't a bluff - he pretty much interviewed me on the spot and was apparently pretty impressed by my skillset. And so am I by his - he asked some pretty techy questions that only a fellow technologist could come up with. In a local cafe of all places!!! Who would've thought?!
I'll probably be going to that cafe some more 😋18 -
Diary of an intern story #101
Boss went to china for business purposes.
Me(just out of cheekiness) : what are you going to bring for us boss 😜?
Boss : for you, more tasks 😎😂
Why god why ;_;3 -
Just upgraded to almost the exact same keyboard, only it has back-lighting 😅
Same manufacturer, keyswitch, layout and general appearance 😜11 -
Once I used to wonder how youtube made money.
Now every time I watch a youtube video I am reminded how.12 -
When a recruiter calls you about a .NET developer role and asks if you wear glasses because the client wants someone who can "see sharp". 😜5
-
Refactored a legacy source file and reduced it from 2.8k lines to 300 lines.
Mixed feelings: happy that it is much simpler now and sad that my current project team members never go back to delete unused code.
Testing pending though 😜7 -
#wannaCry Ransomware:
US engineers trying to find antivirus
Europe engineers finding preventing tools
meanwhile...
Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented fix for wannaCry ransomware"
Meanwhile...
Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "wannacry"
And meanwhile....
in Hyderabad Ameerpet - people might be seeing banners of training institutes mentioning that they have trainers available with 10 years of industry experience on this.😜😜😝😝6 -
4 week summer vacation over. Did not code any sideprojects and opened laptop only to watch netflix on vacation (Stranger Things ❤️). My liver will be pleased that its over. Tomorrow back to work, hopefully I remember how to code again 😜9
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At the Samsung store:
Woman looking for a phone: Can you recommend me a phone by a picture of me?
Seller: Why not, show me the picture.
The woman shows https://devrant.io/rants/728524/... and the seller starts looking for something.
The woman asks: What are you looking for?
Seller: Note 7.1 -
Wife - Lets go for a dinner tonight.
Husband (HR Manager) - Ok.
Husband - Should we go to a cheaper restaurant ?
Wife - No. Let's go to Royal Palace hotel.
Husband - (silence for a minute) - Ok, See you at 7.O 'Clock.
On the way, around 6.30 pm...
Husband - Once upon a time, I had pani puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris(Search in Google, It is the most delicious chat) and defeated me.
Wife - What's so difficult in it?
Husband - Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is so difficult.
Wife - I can easily beat you.
Husband - Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.
Wife - Let us have that competition right now.
Husband - So you want to see yourself defeated?
Wife - Let's see.
They both stop at a Pani-puri stall and start eating...
After about 30 Pani-puris the husband gave up.
The wife was also full, but to defeat her husband, she ate one more and shouted, *"You lose."*
The bill was Rs 50/- and wife was back home and happy as she won the bet.
Moral of the Story...
*Main aim of a HR Manager is to satisfy employee with minimum investments. Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong Return On Investment!* 😃😜😀😄😆😅😂😝😎5 -
My friend brought me a simple python problem. He expected the output to be 2,2,3... instead of 2,3... I didn't know python, but with a quick tweak to differentiate the two prints, I understood that the range() function is exclusive.
Before coming to me, he asked his senior dev & that guy just said - "Oh, your editor has a problem". 😐5 -
Who all are genius hear ???
Share you !best experiences in comments
(if you understood and have any lol😂😂😂😜😜)
#LinuxLove9 -
Q:
What is programming?
A:
95%: copying code from stackoverflow.
5%: knowing where the copied code should go3 -
Just now I was compiling a new kernel for my laptop because the last ones were from before my rootfs became LUKS-encrypted. Then I found that option about SELinux again.. NSA SELinux. A MAC system that linuxxx praised earlier. Should I tell him? 😜8
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Lately I've been losing sleep dreaming about how to fix my code, but client I have been praying hard to make you happy 😜😜3
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I thought meditation was more like putting myself in “airplane mode”. But in reality it felt more like a DDoS attack!3
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When you see this notif and realise that all the crap you put up with in work has been worth it... 😜2
-
Me: Bro look, I have learnt so many things from the past couple of days.
-Introduction
-Data Types
-Variables
-Arrays
-Operators
-Control Statements
-Classes
-Methods
-Inheritance
-Packages
-Interfaces
-Exception Handing
-Multi-threaded Programming
-Enumerations
-Autoboxing
-Annotations
-Generics
My senior: Congrats on finishing up the basics
Me: Those were just basics???...///!!! 😜3 -
I write blocks of code like this:
If(condition){
code
}
I'm trying to fix a bug and the previous dev is doing it like this:
If(condition)
{
code
}
Does anyone know any good nerve calming pill ? 😜19 -
Team: Qt doesn’t let us build the UX we have in mind. Web is the future.
Me: what do you guys recommend ?
Team: Electron! We vote for Electron!
Me: Alright, who know JavaScript here?
Team: ...9 -
!dev
Just went to the pet asylum to look for a cat. There was a shy black one (eh, maybe not a good first but Moar Blacker, Moar Better 😋) and a black and white one which was very open towards me.
Probably I'll get the latter, and build some food, water and litter dispenser systems for it with motors and my esp8266 boards 🙂
The lady who was volunteering there and showed me around had an interesting story though.
Apparently both of those aforementioned cats were wild cats (so they don't come from a proper household or anything). Except that black and white one which apparently came from some rather retarded people.. think average Facebook user.
According to her those previous owners came there with 2 cats including the black and white one as "extremely wild, we found them in the forest, put them in cages (because everyone carries cat cages in their car every day, right?) and brought them here". Nice excuse for average Facebook user level of retard I have to say 😜 but it's not very waterproof, you know?
But on average the people that they get there are even worse than that.. some get a great initial meeting with a cat, but then leave them there because they don't like the stripes on a paw or something stupid like that. As she put it: "you're not fitting pants in a clothing shop, are you?! 😑"
Had to try hard to not burst out in laughter from that description 😂
Point is, the average customers there are awful.. apparently she was very grateful to have a rather down-to-earth customer like me and my home supervisor (who helpfully drove me there 🙂) for once. So terrible clients.. they're everywhere!
It really taught me to be mindful of the hardships of people in any profession who deal with clients.18 -
If money is lost,
Nothing is lost...
If Health is lost,
Something is lost...
But, if character is lost,
.
.
.
8 BITS are lost 😜1 -
Okay guys, this is it!
Today was my final day at my current employer. I am on vacation next week, and will return to my previous employer on January the 2nd.
So I am going back to full time C/C++ coding on Linux. My machines will, once again, all have Gentoo Linux on them, while the servers run Debian. (Or Devuan if I can help it.)
----------------------------------------------------------------
So what have I learned in my 15 months stint as a C++ Qt5 developer on Windows 10 using Visual Studio 2017?
1. VS2017 is the best ever.
Although I am a Linux guy, I have owned all Visual C++/Studio versions since Visual C++ 6 (1999) - if only to use for cross-platform projects in a Windows VM.
2. I love Qt5, even on Windows!
And QtDesigner is a far better tool than I thought. On Linux I rarely had to design GUIs, so I was happily surprised.
3. GUI apps are always inferior to CLI.
Whenever a collegue of mine and me had worked on the same parts in the same libraries, and hit the inevitable merge conflict resolving session, we played a game: Who would push first? Him, with TortoiseGit and BeyondCompare? Or me, with MinTTY and kdiff3?
Surprise! I always won! 😁
4. Only shortly into Application Development for Windows with Visual Studio, I started to miss the fun it is to code on Linux for Linux.
No matter how much I like VS2017, I really miss Code::Blocks!
5. Big software suites (2,792 files) are interesting, but I prefer libraries and frameworks to work on.
----------------------------------------------------------------
For future reference, I'll answer a possible question I may have in the future about Windows 10: What did I use to mod/pimp it?
1. 7+ Taskbar Tweaker
https://rammichael.com/7-taskbar-tw...
2. AeroGlass
http://www.glass8.eu/
3. Classic Start (Now: Open-Shell-Menu)
https://github.com/Open-Shell/...
4. f.lux
https://justgetflux.com/
5. ImDisk
https://sourceforge.net/projects/...
6. Kate
Enhanced text editor I like a lot more than notepad++. Aaaand it has a "vim-mode". 👍
https://kate-editor.org/
7. kdiff3
Three way diff viewer, that can resolve most merge conflicts on its own. Its keyboard shortcuts (ctrl-1|2|3 ; ctrl-PgDn) let you fly through your files.
http://kdiff3.sourceforge.net/
8. Link Shell Extensions
Support hard links, symbolic links, junctions and much more right from the explorer via right-click-menu.
http://schinagl.priv.at/nt/...
9. Rainmeter
Neither as beautiful as Conky, nor as easy to configure or flexible. But it does its job.
https://www.rainmeter.net/
10 WinAeroTweaker
https://winaero.com/comment.php/...
Of course this wasn't everything. I also pimped Visual Studio quite heavily. Sam question from my future self: What did I do?
1 AStyle Extension
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
2 Better Comments
Simple patche to make different comment styles look different. Like obsolete ones being showed striked through, or important ones in bold red and such stuff.
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
3 CodeMaid
Open Source AddOn to clean up source code. Supports C#, C++, F#, VB, PHP, PowerShell, R, JSON, XAML, XML, ASP, HTML, CSS, LESS, SCSS, JavaScript and TypeScript.
http://www.codemaid.net/
4 Atomineer Pro Documentation
Alright, it is commercial. But there is not another tool that can keep doxygen style comments updated. Without this, you have to do it by hand.
https://www.atomineerutils.com/
5 Highlight all occurrences of selected word++
Select a word, and all similar get highlighted. VS could do this on its own, but is restricted to keywords.
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
6 Hot Commands for Visual Studio
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
7 Viasfora
This ingenious invention colorizes brackets (aka "Rainbow brackets") and makes their inner space visible on demand. Very useful if you have to deal with complex flows.
https://viasfora.com/
8 VSColorOutput
Come on! 2018 and Visual Studio still outputs monochromatically?
http://mike-ward.net/vscoloroutput/
That's it, folks.
----------------------------------------------------------------
No matter how much fun it will be to do full time Linux C/C++ coding, and reverse engineering of WORM file systems and proprietary containers and databases, the thing I am most looking forward to is quite mundane: I can do what the fuck I want!
Being stuck in a project? No problem, any of my own projects is just a 'git clone' away. (Or fetch/pull more likely... 😜)
Here I am leaving a place where gitlab.com, github.com and sourceforge.net are blocked.
But I will also miss my collegues here. I know it.
Well, part of the game I guess?7 -
Rant! ✋😜👍
When a rookie is trying so hard to behave like she is a god damn expert in programmng! 😏🙊🙈2 -
On Friday buy the server a new stick of ram and tell it, if you're good the entire time I'm gone, I'll install this once I get back. 😜7
-
I don't know why quiting vim is such a challenge for new users.
While Quit starts with q , so q is very logical for quiting 😬4 -
Got it in WhatsApp...😃😂😂
I am sure you will have a laugh too
A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.
"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree".
"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.
One of the poor fellows turned to mr. Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"
Lesson: Never trust managers... They will take u to any extreme to finish their job.
And there is nothing like KIND MANAGERS 😜
Dedicated to all managers and upcoming managers 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂LOL😜😡😡6 -
That time when you're flipping through Facebook and realize how boring and big of time waste it is so you flip right over to devrant 😜2
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From 3 decades of operating system development, yesterday Windows shat itself (for the so many'th time) with the ACPI power button (how one can possibly fuck up interacting with a goddamn fucking pushbutton, I have no idea) and this morning I got back to my PC, only to notice that the USB driver (again one of the easiest and most ubiquitous protocols out there) shat itself as well. So wiggling the mouse to activate the screen? Of course, no says Windows. I can't possibly do that much, even though I'm developed by a team that could easily outnumber most distributions' development teams, and am part of a company that turns over fucking billions of dollars each year.
I feel that Microsoft offends the words "operating system" to the point that it should be changed (call me SJW 🙃), just for Windows. Shouldn't be too much of an effort considering that Microsoft never follows common standards anyway. I'd like to introduce you to the term "operating shitstain" 😜10 -
> 14 years old
> Read about worms
> Making virus sounds cools
> Decided to make one
> Dreamed how I would use it on my friends
> Made a "virus" that looks for all the exe files and append "malicious" content
> Ended up messing my own system
This story makes me feel that I was
1) dumb
2) slow af( took me days to read/write properly)
One of those has changed now 😜4 -
Finally finished setting up my private Git Repo.
First tried to install Gitlab, tried 2 hours to fix it. Holy shit the configs were a shit piece. Ended up at the end with a 502 error.
Fucking hate Gitlab, go die you piece of shit for dedicated servers.
Removed it and installed Gogs. Had 25 Minutes to set it up completly and I'm happy with it. ✌️
Dont won't to spent 7$ on private Repos for Github, when I have my own high power dedicated Server 😜20 -
TL;DR I want to watch videos faster.
Siraj Raval, a YouTuber who produces videos about artificial intelligence and the concepts behind it (not the buzz-shit-type 😜), once said in one of his videos that he learned to watch videos three times faster.
This man has truly changed my life in many ways.😯
I've started with watching videos with slight multipliers. Around half a year later I learned to watch videos with a multiplier between 1.75 and 2.5.
It's really incredible how much time one can save like this.
25min of free time? Let me just watch that 40min talk about event-driven programming real quick!
Don't do that with gameplays, series, anime and other types of videos 😏 you watch for entertainment because it kinda defies the concept of entertainment.
Link to the video: https://youtu.be/nxWfZP6eslM
Papa tutu tutu tu Wawa:
https://youtu.be/6PJIF_KNvqQ14 -
I know my profile contains a lot of Light theme ide rants, but i can’t help but posting more of em 😜4
-
Just visited a relative whose flat number was: 404!
As anti-climatic as it could get, I could easily find it 😜🤷🏻♂️ -
Finally I got a dog 😄😄. Probably I will teach him some coding 😜.its 6:17 am..... I didn't woke up morning I just forgot to sleep 😪😶😑
-
😜BOSS in office : Okay guys, today we are going to play a game.....
When I say a name of the fruit, you run to the right side of the hall....
And when I say any color, you run to the left side of the hall....
One who runs on wrong side will not get the increment...
got it ?
Employees : Yes Boss, Got it.
Boss : Okay...Ready, Set...
. ... ....
..... "ORANGE" !
Employees : Ayyo papi nanmaga 😳😳😰😰😡😡 😛2 -
I am good to the programs I use.
I give the all the needed ram.
Except Android Studio, I don’t have a fucking server.7 -
How people chat with their girlfriend-
BOYS - chat on WhatsApp
Men - calls directly on phone
Programmers -Raise an Issue & comment on GitHub😂😜4 -
How is devRant better than Facebook?
Facebook allows you to like your own posts and devRant does not allow you to ++ your own rant. 😜5 -
Why did I volunteer to this shit...
I am supposed to maintain 4 old websites (like they were written 10+ years ago..). It's written in PHP, before mysqli, so all the calls to the DB is with mysql functions.. Now the server is to be updated and run PHP7.... guess what? those functions don't exist any more.... Now I have to patch several thousand files to use the mysqli functions... And no, there is no reason to rewrite it more than that, as I'm also developing the new versions om the sites, but those are so far from done and the new server needs the update as soon as possible, so bodging the shit out of this one...
Oh god the amount of repetitive labor 😫☹😭
And I'm not getting paid, because I'm doing it for my scout group... Tho they pay some of the Pizza 😜10 -
Client: We are in a tight budget, but you'll get a lot of exposure
Me: NO! I have enough exposure on my camera.. 😉😜1 -
We're increasingly becoming installers/configurers/integrators/troubleshooters, than "programmers"!
I guess command-line is the only thing that makes me feel like things are still under *my* control. And, I can type whatever I want and unleash heaven/hell. 😜2 -
*coding at 1AM*
Result: wrote a whole feature in what was supposed to be a git merge 😅
But hey it turned out to be very well documented 😜 -
During my 2 weeks of vacation I thought I shouldn't spend all the time on private projects but should get my head clear a bit. Wanted to extend our kitchen a little for a long time now anyways!
But obviously DevRant is always on my mind cause after laying down the jigsaw I saw this little guy.. 😜
Happy holidays to all of you! :)1 -
I haven't been here for a long time! Looking at my old rants, I realized how a bitter person I was. Now like now, though. Now I'm twice the bitterness and all the fun! 😜4
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took me 20min to realize why windows wasn't recognising my flash drive:
it wasn't the usb stick I plugged in but the mouse's dongle... stupid me😜 -
Android flow I’ve found(fixed in android 8, working on 7.1.1):
To make app uninstallable by the normal user make the app device administrator, add “android.permission.SYSTEM_ALERT_WINDOW” to the manifest and make sure it’s not granted by the user.
Now when you try to uninstall the app, it tells you to disable it from device administrators but the device administrator disable dialog is System Window handled by the app itself and if the app has this permission but not granted, settings will crash with SecurityException leaving the app untouched.4 -
I've had my share of "Hey you know computers, right?".
When I was getting my degree I drove a taxi on the weekends.
My boss calls me:
"Hey, my laptop is acting weird, could you have a look?"
Curious; I ask what it's doing.
"There's a pair of sunglasses covering the entire screen. Maybe it's a bra, I don't know."
Wtf?
When I left the taxi at his house, I had a look. I start the computer, Windows boots up, and sure enough, it looks like a pair of sunglasses is covering the screen, kind of.
I also notice a crack in the screen from top to bottom.
"So what kind of virus is this?!"
He felt stupid when I told him what the problem was. I ordered a new screen and replaced it for him and told him not to sit on his laptop again. 😜3 -
I remember I was a child trying to tinker around the only computer that we had. No one knew how to install the Windows OS from scratch with the drivers and everything else (they were installed on floppy disks) so when no one was around I managed to do it everything. I remember such joy, felt like a hacker 😂
Now I'm a web developer and I feel like a moron each time I'm sitting on a defect I can't solve so I'd say these were good times 😜1 -
On Friday I was planning on working on getting the MVVM pattern down in C# and WPF. Today I watched episodes of Smallville all day. I seem to have a lack of motivation, but I guess it is the weekend. 😜1
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Improving my English using DevRant
Note: Will be of great help in writing precise documented code 😜1 -
!metarant
Why do the notifications say "<insert your name here> +1'd your (Rant||Comment)" when it should say "++'d your (Rant||Comment)". 😜6 -
Ever have a bug that *only* occurs in your production environment? How do you test potential fixes? 😜5
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BANGALORE JOKES by Bangalorean....
👉If you throw a stone randomly in Bangalore, chances are, it will hit a dog or a software engineer.
While the dog may or may not have a strap around his neck, the software engineer will definitely have one ! 😜
👉In India we drive on the left of the road.
In Bangalore, we drive on what is left of the road !😜
👉Q: What is the easiest way of causing traffic accidents in Bengaluru?
A: Follow the traffic rules !😜
👉A guy is hunting for a house in Bengaluru.
Meets old lady who is a potential landlord.
Conversation goes thus:
Old lady: "Where do you work, son?"
Guy: "I work in Infosys."
Old lady: "Oh, that bus company! Sorry, we rent only to good IT people!"
It appears that Infosys operates more buses than BMTC in Bangaluru!😜
👉Bengaluru, where PG (Paying Guest) is the first business and IT, the second.😜
👉When someone says it's raining in Bengaluru, be sure to ask them which area, which lane and which road!😜
👉If a Bengalurean stops at a traffic light, others behind him stop too because :
The others conclude that he has spotted a
policeman that they themselves have not!😜
👉Bengaluru is the only city where distance is measured in units of time.😜
👉Rickshaw driver, grocery seller and common shop keeper think that you earn atleast 1 lakh per month if you are in IT sector.😜
👉Out of every 100 software engineers in Bengaluru,
90 are utterly frustrated and the rest have a gf/bf !😜or they are married.
👉Bus drivers use horns instead of brakes !😜
👉I quote: Bengaluru:
The City where more people know Java than Kannada !
👉Universal answer in Bengaluru is
"Adjust maadi!"
😜😜😜
*Power cuts are the only time the whole family assembles together and members speak to each other.
Seeing this, BESCOM has decided to have a tagline called "Connecting people by disconnecting power"!6 -
The level of desire to give my boss a positive klap right now is too damned high.
Cunt flies us across the country to work 4-5 hours of unpaid overtime every day for a week to fix his Royal fuck up, some of my guys decide they gonna take the later uber into work cuz we gonna grab a run or an extra hours sleep cuz we fucking tired after a 13 hour day and this is the shit we get:
No wonder they call it Slaapstad 😜 - guys, no later than 8am at the office please so we can make a collective start.2 -
I am 15 and just last month I told my client to stop breaching the contract and honor your word like a man over whatsapp. He just ignored it like a pussy so I told him over a phone call, "you have 2 options, either 1) you pay me and honor your word or 2) I will sue your ass" and hung up. 3 days had passed and I was getting fed up of that twat, plus school was starting soon. I called him up and told him he is fired and that he can keep his shitty idea and shove it up his ass. I hung up and since then I haven't heard or seen the wanker. Life has been great since then😝😎😜!17
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Microsoft is going to offer it's own Linux distribution i.e. Azure sphere to secure microprocessor based gadgets.
Isn't Windows capable of doing it? 😜2 -
devRant needs some sort of Offspring-of-Clippy tool.
"It looks like you're posting a sort-of-humorous-the-first-time joke or meme. Have you bothered to scroll more than twice to see if this dead horse has, indeed, been well flogged?" 😜 -
So,
Yesterday was Google CodeJam's Kickstart event ( or something like that ).
Participated in competitive programming for the first time. It was kinda fun I guess...
Nope I still hate competitive programming. I like being a laid back programmer who develops in his own pace.
I know it's not what industry wants but I can't jst go for competitive programming.
On the positive note, I started using goto in C++ because of it and created a better Graph library than I had before 🤗🤗
P.S. I did read on how to use goto and when to not use it. I guess my usage was fine... Or better yet, IT WORKED 😜😂
Well, I am done as far as competitive programming goes... 😭😭 -
What do you think about swift?
Does it have future?
It went open-source and is very fast and easy.
I found this project which brings swift to the server side in linux and mac: https://www.perfect.org/ and it seems promising.10 -
Oh yeah 🙌🏼 So here is the other thing! Many of us work on side projects where we build awesome stuff in our spare time. We don't get much publicity, userbase or conversions as we are not marketing people. So go ahead and write short desc about your product along with website link if you have any. Product screenshot is most welcome 😜 Don't forget to tag post with "mystartup" 🙌🏼 Looking forward to see awesome projects.4
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mfw
> 1 year into project in React.js with a 10+ members in team
> PM panics over last Apache statement
> PM: "fuck, rewrite it in Angular 4 : /"1 -
Full stack isn’t about knowing just a backend and little bit of JavaScript. Turns out a bunch of them who applied this week seem it have derived a new meaning for it!
Throwing around terms like “I am exploring MEAN” doesn’t make you sound cool unless you have some working examples that you have built with it.7 -
Google suggested me some article about how to preorder iPhone 8 and 8 plus.
To all devs who want to know my trick:
just buy second hand iPhone 7 or 7 plus and say it’s iPhone 8.
This is written by an iPhone 7 plus user and I suggest you if you want good look and functionality - buy OnePlus 5.2 -
<internship>
Yesterday, was my last of Internship. It was wonderful to work with all the software engineers and the amount of stuff I learnt in this period was immense.. I would like to also give special thanks to my Manager who gave me opportunity and trusted on me. And I can't miss to mention my mentor. She helped me in solving so many problems.. in my early stages, she was my only hope to start things working.. she taught me not only how to program, but also how to program effectively. And yes, the smartest thing I did in my internship was introducing devrant to my mentor.. she liked it a lot, and her posts gets so many ++ compared to mine.. (m so jealous, 😝😜😓😂)
</internship>2 -
Dat feel when you have to threaten your laptop with a reinstall, before it starts working...
Literally happened to me yesterday.
And to ad to the drama I didn't have a bootable USB ready, so I forced the laptop to create the installer, that would ultimately be its own demise 😅
Suddenly, halfway through the setup of the USB, everything began working 😜 -
Imagine, you woke up from a deep sleep today 😴💤 and after that you found that all the #IDE in the world are no longer working!!!😱
What will be your first Reaction??
P.S - Don’t be scared, it’s not going to be true😜11 -
I was wondering !
As a computer geek I would like to know everything from mathematics to programming , robotics and machine learning but as I go , new technologies appear and it's
just like an endless while loop!
I don't mean I wanna stop learning new things but just looking for a more effitient way for doing this!
Any idea about this?1 -
Why did sonatype just break my maven deploy plugin?? Well finally I was able/forced to migrate to the sonatype deploy plugin.
Finally fully automated CIdeployment to maven central yey.
For the curious, I‘m taking about my hobby (soon to be startup) project https://spot-next.io
Get version 1.011-BETA while it‘s still hot 😆
It‘s An open source SAP hybris alternative on speed 😜😅
Help wanted btw 😅
And excuse the still not complete docs, my two kids + job keep me busy way too much -
When the team lead announces you have to pick a team name for the mobile software devs. No seriously I have until tomorrow otherwise we get called team Poloni because of a poorly chosen color once. Ideas please! So far we have hackslash, A-team (Android Apple) or Swifty Java 😜13
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I'm not sure what to answer...
Found on SlimSocial for Facebook - Windows 10 Mobile (latest update😜) -
Once a guy was not able to apply for a software company coz it required 4+ years of experience in a particular API.
The problem was that he had only 2 years of experience as he himself had developed that API. 😜
It's high time that we rethink the equation " Years of experience == Skill"
Do comment your opinion.6 -
Opened up my laptop to install faster wifi card with macOS support and it turns out that I have m.2 type connection ready for ssd.
These fucking idiots in Toshiba have never said anywhere in this laptop’s specs that it supports m.2.
I bought 128gb ssd and installed it.
Fast af boie and no problems booting from it.2 -
Am I more active because I am feeling good, or is it because it's too hot here? 🤔
Anywho, giant NN classifier, come at me!
PS. I think it's gonna be a a major failure, but YOLO. 😜1 -
Worst dev experience: Started vim, could not escape, had to get a new computer... 😐
Just kidding, everything was good 😜 -
Have an ocean view. But the blind controls are by another dev who keeps them closed permanently. 😜1
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This moment:
When you have a weired exception, start googling it and practically bruteforcing all possible solutions you know of and/or found on stackoverflow.
Then after (half) an hour just starting from the beginning, attempting the simplest solution you can think of and it just works on the first attempt:
😱 ⏩ 😰 ⏩ 😤 ⏩ ☕ ⏩ 😥 ⏩ 😔
But you'll notice that you had learned a lot of this.
... Or maybe not 😜5 -
My coolest project is my Facebook - to - email adapter 😜
An interface that takes emails from an inbox (mailing list) and posts it to a Facebook group, if it is a new mail. If it is an answer, it finds the original post and posts the new mail as a comment.
Once every hour it checks Facebook for comments on the posts it made, creates a list and sends it the the mailling list 😀 -
When something worked perfectly yesterday and now it’s just fucked up without touching anything:
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
(Love The Way You Lie - Eminem)1 -
when my rant get more than 5 comments.
#out of memory exception#
just drop it, unfollow and let them comment.
😜5 -
Budgie up and running. Tho, I had an issue overload cpu, and stopped previews-creator. Is that even safe?
Anyways, half of my customized deepin shit doesn't work properly anymore. It's a piss off. Wondering if a downgrade would help.
If shit stops breaking for six more months, I might be able to finish uni and go back to workforce properly, where cash-cash-dollar can buy me a new laptop, or a workstation that allows me to duck around with current laptop.
Like, being a student again has been so unnerving. Won't do it ever again. (a PhD doesn't count as study 😜)2 -
At the beginning of a new project, I have many ideas and plans how the things are able to go, but with the time I realise that only a piece of all works.
Are you like me? 😜 -
My version of the rubber duck is Outlook. I start writing a mail to the PM explaining an issue with the domain logic and how I see multiple ways to resolve it, but not sure which one is better.
As I write the email clearly enough for him to understand, I end up knowing exactly what to do and I delete the email 😜2 -
Intellisense that would fix all my typos! 😜
I want it to be that good that I can just squirt on my keyboard and it still recognizes sensible code! -
In the time between my 1st and 2nd semesters I had this course to help develop our soft skills. In one of the classes the teacher asks what we wanted to do when we finish our courses and when I said I wanted to make games someone snickered behind me 😒 maybe I was a bit too enthusiastic (I'm super pumped about it, I just wanna be out there and make games and make people happy. It may sound childish but it's what I want to do. After all, I'm still 14 😜 (jk, people look at me and think I'm younger than I really am. I've been even "put" in 5th-8th (12-15) grade once, when I was in xmas vacations from uni, early this year)) but no need to be rude 😒
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!basicNonHarmfulExploitTest
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
Lets see If I can mess up the character cutoff limit 😜3 -
1. Finding what I really am
2. Time out for Travel out of country from work
3. Buy own Car
4. Marriage 😜 -
It's been a few months I became a freelancer, the cool thing is I still have no sleep but this time it's not for deadlines! ... XD
It's for ...
You complete the rant !2 -
Finally published a demo packaged on npm to learn how it works.
Like it - "Npm loves you" 😜
I'll publish my own package in 2-3 days.
Tip : it seems you can't delete a npm package, you can only unpublish it. -
questions for those hard core lazy geeks, I'd like to try out raspberry pi. what's the most crazy use cases in you mind but yet no way to find time to do it? if I get rid of my laziness, I may do it, no promises😜17
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Am I the only one that feels like the Linux sound driver (alsa) have a more clean sound than the windows drivers? I'm a pianist (at least I'm playing the piano in my free time 😜) and I feel more comfortable with the sound on my Linux. (I use the same physical piano modeling software on both systems)1
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Probably not worst but back when I was in graduate school I used '=' instead of '.equals()' for a string, by mistake. My professor was so pissed and taunted in front of whole class about how dumb people are here without taking any names(btw I didn't realize that guy was me until later) and gave me a low score
I told her later it really doesn't matter if I used either because '=' worked just fine in my case. She was a little more pissed after knowing that I wasn't wrong. 😜6 -
*updates LinkedIn with new jobs*
*Wakes up to invites and messages from recruiters who wasted my time then disappeared*
*Some from people who I didn't even removed me*
Oh my. Whatever will I do in this situation? 😈 -
Helped in Managing the the recruitment process in my college. Got noticed by HR. Breezed through the interview.😜
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Dvorak users, how do you manage your shortcuts, like in vim?
I can't quit it anymore! 😜
I am too scared to remap everything.6 -
Pretty much any sic-fi movie. Loving 2019 movies : Atlia, avengers end game, captain Marvell, Godzilla, starwars episode dark phoenix, MIB international, Shazam, spider Man far from home, 😊😁😀
Yeah pretty much don't have a life 🤪😜 -
I know this has probably been asked, but I completely missed any of it.
What the fuck's up with devRant and rubber ducks? Is there a backstory? If so, could you explain?
If these questions have been asked before (possibly multiple times), gimme links - I'll read those. I'm willing to bet that I'm not the first or last to have and subsequently ask these questions.
Even better, a TL;DR in the form of a comment is appreciated! 👍😜😂rant ducks devrant rubber ducks this has probably been asked this is probably redundant please school meh inside joke devrant origins sold in the shop2 -
Excited about this freelance project.
Asked my team lead for 3 weeks to add server to the project for login/signup, realtime database and storage
(sounds stupid , but am an android guy, who used to make servers long back in november 2017)
its second day and i am already done😂😂😂
Don't know if my lead is happy or angry or panicking, his task to add an admin panel is still undone😜 -
Got a new idea in mind...by the time idea reaches pen and paper and computer ( I hear a voice back of my head...."Is that what you were think of, think of something NEW it's already implemented!")
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When xcode wont stop whinging about your lack of updating a var since creation. Yes. Its currently looking immutable but will be updated in a short while when I get to that code!!!!! Hence the reason for var!
Everything
"Oh Lord, let there be var".
You c what I did there? 😜👊 -
I recently began using plugins for chrome, that darkify the experience. One of them has a developer option, where you install the plugin locally from Github and it's pretty nice to be contributing to a project for once, instead of just creating my own 😊
Even tho I'm the only one who has contributed and the original dev hasn't written any code for the project for last couple of weeks... 😜2 -
Something that provides for my SO and I, pushes me to learn more, has realistic deadlines, and uses modern technologies with good standards.
Plus, the standards use tabs, not spaces 😜2 -
I don't know why people are complaining about windows updates while they can stop the update service from service manager. I did that wile I was using windows.
Moral of the story: I use linux. 😜 -
after writing and executing plenty of batch classes this week a thought struck my mind - "nature might be executing the batches in the name of pandemic to update the backdated data"! 😄😜
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My vision is to work part time as a dev and part time as a writer about mobile app development! I only started recently to write one article each week about interesting topics or my current side projects. Previously I never thought that it would be so much fun to write about what I am doing, but I really enjoy planing and writing these articles 🥳 Maybe some day I will try my luck and apply as an iOS author at raywenderlich.
PS: I would be very glad, if you could give me feedback to my new article! 😁 Help me to achieve my vision 😜 Here is my new article about music and sound effects in a SpriteKit game for iOS:
https://medium.com/@HeyDaveTheDev/... -
Have recently delved into the world of js. And i must say its really refreshing. Whenever i start up a new project, i hit the ground running. Everything from node to react has been a fun experience.
This might be because i dont try to follow any principles. I just create and refactor
This doesnt take Anything from the other languages i work in. I just like how it ended up being so to the point. And as i mentioned, i might be doing everything wrong 😜 -
The 7 stages of Computer Debugging:
Shock and denial. This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings.(task is assigned nothing to it it's nothing..)
Pain and guilt. ...(shit I knew I needed to the a sick day)
Anger and bargaining. ...
(Ok let's see if we can get this fucker fixed ....Get fixed now you asshole)
Depression. ...
(Oh man I never going to leave this office today 😭)
The upward turn. ...
(Well sec let's try stack overflow 💡)
Reconstruction and working through. ...
(Yay I found an actual fix after browsing 23 answers)
Acceptance and hope. (Fixed is in code repository... It's 21 and also hope to get some Xbox time)
P.S
It's a striking resemblance the grief stages 😜 -
https://m.facebook.com/story.php/...
WATCH NOW THANK LATER. (It’s rubber duck related)
Sorry about the Facebook video4 -
The best page for funny dev related GIFs is http://thecodinglove.com, btw...
After devRant of course 😜 -
girl: You know what? I ❤️ you
boy: really....let's try it....Is HTML programming language?
girl: Oh..yes babe....Yes it is...😘
boy: 😤😡
girl: 😕
boy: You $@#!&&%#
👋
girl: 😓😭
boy: 😜😎6 -
Pickup line for Python Nerd..."Hi How are you? WeIl I was wondering if you want to see my python skills 😜" 🐍
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@highlight
disabled: Set<string> = new Set();
@highlight
<input
class="form-control"
id="pushBack"
type="text"
[attr.disabled]="disabled.has('pushBack') ? ' ' : null"
[(ngModel)]="local.pushBack"
/>
---
Do you know what's wrong with this code? If you know and you are a junior how would you tell this to your super boss without hurting his feelings?7 -
What's common between a wife and a client ?
Both have endless demands....
And you can't say a NO to them...
And they are never gonna satisfied... 😜3