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You have done a great job!! Thanks for delivering the project on time. It is exactly what I asked for. I will ask for no changes and I will pay you right away.
Said no client ever.3 -
Client : Now mail me the project "directly". Don't send it in files. I donno how to open files!!
Me : Directly? o-O43 -
Roughly 180 days, 5 months and 29 days, 4,320 hours, 259,200 minutes, I devoted myself to a client project. I missed family outings with my daughter and my wife. People started asking my wife if we had broken up. My daughter became accustomed to daddy not being around and playing with her. Sometimes only sleeping 4 hours, I would figure out solutions to problems in my sleep and force myself to wake and put them into action. My relationship with my wife became very fragile and unstable. I knew I had to change but I just needed a little bit more time to complete this client project.
Finally, the project was ending there was light at the end of the tunnel. I “git add –-all && git status” everything looked good. I then “git commit -m “v1.0 release candidate && git push beanstalk master”
I deployed the app to the staging server where I performed my deployment steps. Everything was good. I signed-up as a new user, I upload a bunch different files types with different sizes, completed my profile and logged out. I emailed the client to arrange a time to speak remotely.
“Hello” says the client “How are you” I replied. “Great, lets begin” urged the client. I recited the apps url out to the client. The client creates a new account and tries to upload a file. The app spews a bunch of error messages on the screen.
The client says
“Merlin – I do not think you really applied yourself to this project. The first test we do and it fails. If you do not have the time to do my project properly please just say so now, so I can find somebody else who can”
I FREAKED THE FUCKOUT on the client!!!!!!! and nearly hung up. My wife was right next to and she was absolutely gobsmacked. I sat back and thought to myself “These fuckers don’t get it”. All that suffering for nothing!
Thanks for reading my rant….
BTW: I did finish the project, the client was amazed on how the app worked and it is has become an indispensable tool for their employees.19 -
Oh the project is almost finished?
Here's another feature the client requires before it can be released.
Me: Okay this will take another 2 weeks to implement. Is the client happy with that time frame?
PM: You have 3 days and there's no test time, so test as you go.
Me: .....*quits*
True story, was the last straw.6 -
Mail from client: There is a bug in project.
Me: mmmmkay where is it?
Client: How shitty developer you are! You should find it.
Me:f*ck you i'm out1 -
Who Is Who
➡ A Project Manager is the one who thinks 9 women🙍 can deliver a baby in 1 month.👶
➡ An Onsite Coordinator is the one who thinks 1 woman can deliver 9 babies in 1 month.👶
➡ A Developer is the one who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver 1 baby.🙇
➡ A Marketing Manager is the one who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and women are available.👷
➡ A Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.👶
➡ A Tester is the one who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby. 🚶
Don't be shy.. Comment which 'who' are you..😂17 -
Client: Saw you did some cool logos...can you design us a logo as well?
Me: sure, do you have any ideas already?
Client: no
Me: Whats the name of the company/project?
Client: We don't know yet.
Me: FUCK YOU!!!17 -
So a client wanted me to work on a 6 month project for just 300$. Some people really need to learn the value of time and effort
18 -
This project manager, man....
> Sends email to a client "Dear Ms X, here's your password for the Jira board: [...] Please handle it with care and keep it secret."
> Email goes out to 5 people.
6 -
I just got dropped from a project for taking 2 days leave. The client was like 'the rest of the team worked fine without him for 2 days, we don't need him!' :(3
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##Real fuckening STORY##
Angry client: this feature is not working like we discussed !
Me: it is.. *giving some explanation*
Client : no, this is not the right way
Me: But this is what we documented while gathering requirements, and YOU signed in the documentation..
Client : that long document? you don't expect me to read all of that talk just for this simple feature..
Me inside: *killing him 5 times in 5 different ways13 -
Yesterday: Dear Diary, today the client changed their mind on a critical part of the project.
Today: Dear Diary, (see yesterday).5 -
Client: Glad to have you on the team, you come highly recommended for your experience in Microsoft technology, specifically asp.net
Me: I was contacted for a php, mariadb project
Client: well they're all the same
Me: actually sir no.... No they're not.
Client: then why was I told to contact you
Me: you tell me, your hiring manager contacted me for a php project not asp or. Net
Client: well I guess I know who to blame for your, sorry for taking your time. Can I contact you if we have a project made with that thing you mentioned?
Me: php?, Sure
Client: nice...... Take care
Me: you too
That went better than I expected3 -
So I've been working with this "developer" on a client project and she is still refusing to use GIT.....
16 -
Adding some scripts to a project with the whole intent of slowing performance on Internet Explorer, and if a client complained I showed them how fast it was on Firefox, Chrome or Opera.15
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Boss: "I know we just finished the first part of Client A's project but they also want this extra work done that wasn't in the contract."
Me: "Can't do it without pushing back Client B's work"
Boss: "Well we don't want that. We need to hit that deadline."
Me: "Cool"
Boss: "But Client A was really hoping this new feature which wasn't in the scope would be in."
Me: "Then we're pushing back Client B's work"
<<loop continues >>5 -
I may have received the best email ever all these years (and a year as a Lead).
A client acted as a boss telling me to "work this weekend to finish the project a little earlier"
Enjoying my cereal so far..11 -
Delivered Project to Client (Android App) and forgot to remove a Toast that I used for Debug purposes. "it fucking works!!"5
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meeting a client for small web project, we did not agree price of project soo I left...next week I saw him on tv, he was arrested as a pedophile6
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A simple, open source Neo4j client written in PHP - help craft project decisions and develop as a team10
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Guys I think I found the ideal client
(This was messaged in the groupchat with all 3 devs working on his project)
1 -
"The client has no idea what they want, just throw your best guess out there and let's see what they say" -- best project manager in the world2
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Client: Hi there, we worked together I few months ago and loved what you created for us! We have another job and would like to see if you are available?
Me (1h later): Sure! Let me know more details about this new project.
Client (15min later): Oh, sorry, since you took so long to respond, we've decided to choose another freelancer. Thank you anyways!!
Me: ...5 -
Manager Logic: The project is behind, we have brought on additional managers to satisfy the client. 😲 The fuck is a manager going to do? "Meetings! We need more meetings to ensure the deadline is met."2
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Client: I saw this feature on a site and I want it on mine.
Me: I’m almost done with the project. You can’t possibly expect me to start adding new features now.
Client: Just go online and copy the code. I won’t take that long. It shouldn’t be difficult if you’re a professional.
WTF is wrong with people. The worlds gone to shit. Who does he think he is?13 -
Once, I overheard a conversation between my former PM and a client during a phone call.
Client: I will send the final draft of the project by Thursday.
PM: That's great to hear!
Client: When can I expect the updates to review the changes after the draft is sent? I need to present it at a meeting this weekend.
PM: It should be ready by Friday without fail!
Client: Excellent! Thank you. I will be expecting it.
PM: Sure, goodbye.
(After the call, PM joined the team.)
PM: So, team, the client for Project-A will be sending us a new draft for review and updates. They are putting a lot of pressure on us and need it to be ready by Friday at the latest. We need to treat this with a sense of urgency.
(After hearing this, we felt compelled to respond.)
Me: There's no way they would expect us to deliver an unseen draft within a day. Both the backend and Figma team members were forced to work last weekend, on Saturday, because you mentioned that Project B was behind schedule and the client needed an update by Monday. We simply can't continue working like this.
Backend guy 2: I also worked last Sunday on Project B.
Me: We overheard you telling the client that they should expect an update by Friday. It seems like you're the one directly putting the team under pressure, even though we still have three ongoing projects with tight deadlines.
(The office fell into an uncomfortable silence.)
(PM left the office without saying a word.)
Later on, I heard that he contacted the client to reschedule the expected time of arrival (ETA) after receiving the draft.7 -
I caught my client SLASH boss SLASH project man SLASH designer SLASH "I want to make facebook but better" designing with microsoft word
That explain the calibri font in their logo9 -
Nearing the end of a project and the client starts requesting UI changes and new features...
Every. Damn. Time.
8 -
Delivered project this monday and gave the client one week where he can request changes free of charge. Changes made since monday: 43. This will be the last time I provide this service5
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Project coordinator blames our team because client said we failed to "align" with other teams.
Coordinator.
Project. Coordinator.
What the actual fuck.2 -
*Working on a personal project*
Random guy:- it sucks :|
Me :- idgaf about what you think ..So please f off -__-
*Paid project*
Client :- what's this? This is ridiculous..I don't like it at all
Me:- okay , I'll do something about it .
-__- money changes everything3 -
Potential Client Project:
"HIPAA compliant WordPress website"
Me: Can you tell me more about the website you're trying to publish?
Client: Site for uploading patient medical test results
Me: 🤦♂️ Fuuuuuuck. Sorry, you're on your own.
WORDPRESS?!?!8 -
Boss: don't worry about the architecture, it's an one-off project, just make it work...
2 months later...
Boss: hey, remember that one-off project? we need to add in a few more features... Also can we reuse that code for this new one-off project we have to do for this new client?3 -
*client calls*
Me: Hello?
Client: Hi, I have some questions about the project.
Me: Alright, what are they?
Client: I don't quite remember what my questions are.
What? Then why did you call me?1 -
[during a project discussion]
Client: We've been getting very low results on google lighthouse on the site
Me: The results are highly volatile, don't believe their lies
Client: *shares screen and runns lighthouse test*
Lighthouse test: 95
Me:
7 -
That moment when you listen to your boss' lies to a client when presenting a new product/feature.
I am like: damn, this guy is a talented actor!3 -
Client A: "I understand that we need to extend the due date for the project, but why we need pay extra for that?"
Me: "Because my people and I need money to survive as well...."
-
Me : Today we have to demonstrate our progress to client. So remove all the dead code from the project which we had written for debugging.
** Removes all the comments2 -
Been working on this project for a month now. Everything is going fine, meetings are short and to the point. But then...
Client: "I'm leaving the project, this is the new person taking over."
Me: "Hello new client."
New client: "Burn it."
Me: "Uhm, what?"
New client: "Throw what you have away. It doesn't meet our new specifications. We're starting over."
Me: "Ok..." 🙃🔫3 -
Product owner:
Okay we have users and groups. Users have roles, roles have permissions, but groups can also have roles or permissions. Clients have users and these client-users can have special kinds of permissions. Now we need to add projects which have pages and special project users who manage the projects, but only the client-users can set rights for which project owners can manage pages. Pages are coupled to roles, and assigned to workflows, unless the client-user already had the permission to... wait where are you going?"
Me: "Fetching a new SSD. I ran out of hard disk space trying to model the database design. Could you please start from the top when I get back?"5 -
Supposed to get paid from a project. After all the hard work I submitted the project and this is what the client says:
"Thanks"
😕8 -
Client : I have a scraping project for you...
Me : Yeah tell me which site you want me to scrape and what data from it?
Client : I want you to scrape data from 500 sites
Me : 500 sites...are you serious?
Client : Yeah 500 sites...can you do the job?
Me : ok...for 500 sites...the charge will be $500...
Client : Are you out of your mind? $500 for just 500 sites...I can only give you $5019 -
Software engineering project discussion:
Boy: Sir, my project is a client to manage files stored on different cloud file storage systems at one place
Faculty: Boring idea. Very easy to implement, No scope of scalability, etc
Girl: My project is an app to display the weather information
Faculty: Omg! What an innovative idea! I'm surprised how no one though of this before!11 -
*In the final weeks of development with a project on a short timeline because the client "needs it".*
Client: "We've hired a consultant we want you to work with."
Me: "Okay, can we push this to after the delivery?"
Client: "Of course"
Wake up to an email from the consultant with a list of scripts he just ran on the production database server for the currently live app.
Get follow-up emails about bugs and app crashes from the client.
My rage is so hot it can keep warm an Eskimo tribe over the winter season.2 -
A client, who don't know about programming. But only wants to finish the project ASAP
Me - It's complicated to implements this new feature.
Client - It's easy!3 -
Client : I have a big budget for this Project
*delivers price*
Client : We have to go lower with the Price or I see myself forced to hire an indian developer
background : Client wasted over 70.000£ in the last 10 years on his Logistics Website. Why ? Kept hiring cheap "global leading it companies" from India3 -
When you're working on a very complex client/server project in 7 open Solutions and changes in about 100 classes and your project manger gives you a "very important text align issue" that you have to fix immediately 😒1
-
Went in for a meeting with a client for a web design project. The client insisted I use the GoDaddy Website Builder for this project 😳🙁10
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To client: "I will have the project ready in 4 weeks" - starts work on the last weekend before the deadline.
Why do I always do that?2 -
Worst Project: Project Managers that don't trust their team.
Our PM before didn't want the developers included in the client meetup because she said the developers wouldn't understand anything in the meeting.
A month after the proposed deadline after, I free up my time (I'm handling different projects), and I decide to speak with the client to see where thing went south.
Apparently, what our PM promised/understood is far off from what the client wanted.
The project was a simple "show the drivers where they need to go next" mobile app while she promised a "Traveling Salesman Problem"-esque solution.2 -
Boss quoted Yoda today, to my answer to if I would be able to deliver today a freaking huge project I've been working on, 14 days before the rescheduled deadline I was given, just because the client is pissed with them.
3 -
The project tech lead asks me to add some Docker configuration files sent by the client to a project. He gives me a zip file and I unzip it and add the files to Git. Job done.
Later he checks the commit and starts bitching because I unzipped the file and it should have been added as a zip. After much debate trying to explain to him that Docker wouldn't open the zip file to search for the Dockerfile he just says "Can you just do it? I double checked with the client!". I give up after giving him all the arguments why he is wrong and do it.
The next day the client checks the commit and comments bitching that I included the zip file and not the contents of it.4 -
I wanted to contribute to open source but don't have the time due to a client project.
So what I did was develop an open source library, uploaded it as a public repo, then use that on our client project.
As a bonus, I can reuse that library for similar projects. Haha!2 -
Client send email ... (15 seconds pass) ... client sends IM/Slack ... (15 seconds pass) ... client calls.
Me: Yes?
Client: Did you get my email asking how the project is coming along? Also, can you do this <totally unrelated> thing that will sidetrack you for 2 hours?3 -
Boss came in with new project:
boss shows me the design
me: it's a wordpress website ?
boss: client wants it with prestashop
me: but the brief is for an ecommerce website with 2 categories and a blog, wordpress with woocommerce and a blog should be enought
boss: no, client wants it with prestashop
oh I forgot, client wants it in a shared hosting server, where I can't add php extensions
started the project, fucked my weekend with anxiety and depression, and then products list came in ... 15 product
me: ok, I need to get the fuck out quick
I quit, I sleep at night, I smile with my kids ...2 -
Client: I want my site to look exactly like the design.
Me: Of course, but I'm assuming you want it responsive...
Client: yes, I want it to look exactly like the design on all devices.
Me: but that's not how...
Project manager: of course the site will be fully responsive and look exactly the same on all devices.
Me: but...fine.
1 week later...
Project manager: The site looks horrible on mobile!
Me: it matches the design perfectly...3 -
Current project:
A fairly simple and basic single page-ish project with no framework at all.
No backend or database.
No jQuery.
Plain old Gulp task, npm scripts and Webpack.
Some parallax and other scrolling effects.
Client is actually a pretty simple, cool and understanding guy.
This is too easy.
What is this madness??4 -
In the middle of a big project, many demands from the biggest client of yhe company, he left the country and called the boss after 2 days tellinf him he's not coming.
boss is angry,
client is angry,
I am happy.. because client is a piece of shit liar asshole -
Me : Can I have your Server Access to deploy project.
Client : I don't have server. I will run it on my laptop.
Me : Okay, Are you sure? And do you have static IP?
Client : what's that?
😂1 -
The moment I told my client that I can't do the ewallet project for RM 30 which is so underpriced.
He call his son who is a lawyer to sue me for the blablabla....
.......
3 -
Client: we are using Scrum. Next week we have sprint review organized by the project manager.
Me: it’s not Scrum.
Client: in the next sprint we work on a mockup not releasable in production.
Me: it’s not Scrum.
Client: sprint backlog is changed again, at the end we must do everything that is written in the contract with that fixed amount of money.
Me: definitely not Scrum.
Client: we are using Scrum.
Me: Ok.1 -
When project is finished, everything is according specs, and on final review the client says: "everything looks nice! But I would like to change just a few small details. I would like a different design and functionality".
Seriously?!
1 -
Client: we want X.
Dev: Quote for X.
Client: We only want to pay x.
Dev: Requote for x.
Client: approved x.
Dev: Deliver x.
Client: where is X we asked for X.
... perspective of project scope matters.1 -
Working hard on project since last 5 months.
Resolving issues and mainly frustrated from client epic feedback on the project...
Finally got message from client that “Yes, We can go for the Distribution “
And my reaction:
2 -
Did a freelancing project... Hosted the project and gave the client credentials with the invoice. She changed the password and there is that6
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Just lied to a client about meeting up to discuss a project. I called in sick, but I am just too tired and didn’t do anything on the project for a week. I have blood on my hands now. I will have to see him tomorrow though.2
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Okay. So this Is my first rant. Don't you hate it when a client provides you with really crappy res images for a project? this tends to happen a lot...5
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Just found out with client, a recruiter played double agent, charged 25% on me and 20% on client, a whopping 45% commission! Fuck off.
Thankfully it’s only a small project. We are both hiring dev soon so he lost a good chunk of business, at least from me, for perpetuity.1 -
Client: "We're not ready to be finished with the project but I don't want to pay you any more money to meet the terms of the contract we both signed, even though all my must-have changes led to more costs just like you had warned me they would."
Me: "Don't make any more changes, plez."
Client: "Imma make another change."
Me: "No. Stahp. Don't."
Client: "I added four new fields and probably a ton more business rules I don't care to understand."
Me: "Kill me. Just put this gun to my head and kill me."
Client: "That's not in our contract!"3 -
Working in a tech company as a project manager, the CEO asked me: a client requested to code the frontend with something call active java, are you familiar with it?
Me: well, it must be a new tech.."searched online..", no results found.
After calling the client, he was asking about React native.🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ -
New project, sent a 7 page contract to the client. First day of work and client begins to ask things outside scope and terms.
I explained what is written in contract and he interrupted me saying "I READ THE CONTRACT".
One minute later, he starts asking the same things again.1 -
A client just asked to reduce the budget on a project, which I have already delivered. fml. Also, I had a look at wakatime, and realised that I've spent over 100 hours on this project.4
-
500 Internal server error when showcasing the semi-complete project to client.
Can't be worse, can it.1 -
About to enter the snake pit of lawyers for a client call about a late project. Putting on my super suit.
2 -
New contract termination clause to be included in all future project contracts: "Contracting client agrees that uttering the phrase 'Your job is whatever I say it is,' or any semanticaly equivalent variant thereof is grounds for immediate contract termination. All work product and IP rights will transfer and assign to contracting client ONLY upon payment in full of contracted payment amount prorated to contract termination date."
-
Client doesn't have any idea what pages/links they want for their website. Same client told me to call the guy who recommended me to him for the project brief...wtf...I mean WTF!!!
5 -
I've just about finished 100% of the scoped features of a quick little app. The client is demanding that I add more features at his whim before he'll pay me anything. Mind you, this is a small project, and I have a day job that pays me loads more than he's paying me. Oh, and the client has no control over the github repo or any of the deployed environments.
4 -
Potential client: "We need this project done, but don't have much of a budget. But, if it's successful, could result in a lot more work."
If you want me to invest in your company, offer stock.
FFS.4 -
"So the client just asked when we will have [feature] ready for testing."
*Confused looks*
Turns out the project/account *forgot* to tell us about a major feature that the client wanted. I should get paid extras for miracles.1 -
"Hey, I've been with the manager on the phone, do you know why we don't have any new open issues on the project? Because the client doesn't have internet anymore"1
-
client: can you add *these fearures*
me: sure
client: can we get it in 2 days
me: sure
*it's 2:22 am , not funished and should present the project tomorrow*
damn , always fall in the same mistake.
wish me luck3 -
Potential client once asked for a clone of Amazon, for $5000, in one month. I did not take the project.7
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Project manager asked to "remove the debug breakpoints in Eclipse before checking in the Java file, so the client can't see them". Happened some years back. In an Indian software services co.
-
a client i was doing a side project for recently hired another dev to finish my project apparently i wasn't fast enough for them; despite their late submition of asserts.now their "dev" fucked up everything i was building and they want me to take the project over the weekend..3
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The most recent that comes to my mind is from one of my previous projects. Our team is already overloaded and frustrated working for this garbage client. One fine day, out of the blue, the client once again revises the list of go-live critical development objects.
Our project manager takes this issue up with the client, and then with our management when the client does not listen.
The response he gets from our management is along the lines of, "But it's just forty development objects. Why are you complaining? Just get it done."
Needless to say, the motivation levels of the entire team went on a downward spiral soon after.1 -
There is this client who responds to my project emails instantly but goes radio silent when a payment email is sent.
-
When you've finished a project and the site goes live, you get a message from the client "looking good". To me that implies it's not finished, and I'm expecting a follow up message "can you just..."4
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Whenever non-tech boss / client, dive into software engineering problem trying to micromanaging us, and ask how he could help to solve us hoping that the project could speed up in some way.
just stay the fuck away1 -
After 4 months of dev, Project went into production
Client: it should work like that.
Me: it's a CR!
Client: No, it's not!
Me: talk to my boss.
...
...
...2 -
I don't know which is worse:
1. My project manager telling me that I will have to make a whole project on my own within a month (frontend, backend, etc etc) for our major client and if I make it, we will get a bigger project for a longer period or
2. The colleague next to me being loud (speaking to himself, chewing things) at random intervals.2 -
So a client of mine who I've known a long time referred me to a friend of his for a project. OK great! Quoted the guy a price got the OK but didn't know my client had told this friend they would be paying me for the job. Well I found this out when I went to get payment from the guy. I call my client and he proceeds to tell me "yes we told him we would pay for it but thought it would just be included in our project fee which was already paid".. WTF2
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So I took up a website development project, and the customer sent me a clear requirements document (yay!). I make the website, show the demo and boom, suddenly the client wants COMPLETELY different things. Fml.1
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No-contract client stops the project in the middle and wants his complete deposite (25%) back. How to tell this asshole that he has to pay even more??2
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*meeting on Monday*
Client: so I've got this project I want you to do, it's simple right?
Me: seems so
Client: so I'll pay you this much because it's so simple
Me: uhhhhhhhh
Underpaying client: I also told my higher ups that you'd be done by Friday you can do that yeah
Me: ..................2 -
I didn’t turn down a dev freelance project when the client decided against going with best practices because the solution I offered was a well-established design pattern but created a need for a financial management change she didn’t like. I stupidly built what she asked for. It worked fine in the 3rd party vendor test environment but failed on production. After hours of analysis of code to ensure no changes happened to my source during test->prod deployment, and the vendor denying they had config differences between them, and the client refusing to pay, all I could do was abandon the project.2
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Colleague: looks perfect
Project manager: make it a little better
Client: I don't care. Just show me the godamn data!2 -
On Friday. Client and Project Managers arranged a meeting and wanted me to be there. Client said the meeting will be max 15 Minutes but it was around 2 hours. This client project was due the following week. I was happy because everything was done and excited that the client might be coming down to say how awesome the work was.
The table turned around. They came changed the designed and functionalities. The client said, it won't take long to do it, right? and my Project Manager said No! No! No! don't worry its very easy thing. It will take him around 1 day to do it, it's just all cosmetic changes.
It took me more than a week to get it done, test again, check on browsers. The client was pissed and they fired us. Guess who was blamed for it?1 -
We are forced to work on weekends because the management and the project manager loves to kiss the ass of our clients. I was even scolded by working from home.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR THAT WE HAVE TO SUFFER AND SHOULDER THEIR INCOMPETENCE IN MANAGING THIS FUCKING PROJECT.
Damnit. God Damnit.5 -
Ive been working on the same project for over a year now and the client is still asking for more features.
Meanwhile the whole industry is passig me by.4 -
It was 3 months project, but it takes 9... bad management and the client changed his requirements every weekend. I quit the job after it.1
-
Today at 'Derp & Co' is the end of the last sprint, no one have close all the task asigned. Myself included.
- that sucks...
Because there are task from previos sprints still in TODO that block other tasks.
- oof
But there is more... Yesterday was the deadline of the project. From today and onwards the client get discount.
- oof (but fair to the client)
Management have in mind AT LEAST 4 more weeks of development.
- But... how... wtf?
In 2 weeks part of the hardware we need for the project will return to the client.
- <smash the door and leave>
Management still is asking if we can do it on time...
- yeah... just call the Doctor, we need a TARDIS ASAP2 -
a former client and their client keep contacting me about the project i did for them, we couldn't agree on a new contract but they keep asking me things about the site but, if they had signed would be billable.
Sorry i dont work for free.2 -
Client : you are hired as a developer.
Me : we need more developers as there's more work and less time.
Client : Ok, here's another dev
(Meanwhile me doing my work...)
ON THE DAY OF DEMO :
Me : Here's the demo.
Client: it's incomplete, where's more work?
Me: that's the part of 2nd dev you hired before
Client : I don't care, I fucking need a work!
Me inside: (Why the fuck would the first dev becomes a task/team manager just because is the first one to join the project! Arrrgh!!! Hire a fucking scrum master to manage your fucking tasks/team, am just a fucking dev! )6 -
Just dramatically improved the responsiveness of our Kendo UI project with clever use of <script defer... and document.addEventListener ("DOMContentLoaded"...
Not that the client will notice.3 -
My first gig straight out of uni was on a project where my role required fixing an FTP client to upload files from a clients machine to our server. It was a spreadsheet. VBA. An excel spreadsheet. FTP client. A spreadsheet.
Me: "why are we using VBA for this?"
PM (was a dev 10+ years ago and started the basics of this 'ftp client'): "VBA is great." *Stern face*
Brilliant3 -
At the moment I'm working on a project where every line of code is actually garbage. However, the client insists on continuing to use ZF1.
Zend_Locale is a mess. I've been sitting on it for five hours and nothing's working.8 -
Three days into my job and the client is asking when we can start my project... Supposed to have two weeks training, and I don't even think that's enough to learn Hybris, so instead of being an angry rant I'm just gonna sit here and be a sad one :(
I can already feel the incoming shame. Shame. Shame...7 -
Just about every meeting goes the same way. I (or a different developer) explain something to the client and they agree and say it makes sense. Great, that takes 5 minutes. Then the project manager jumps in and says the same thing all over again but takes twice as long and confuses the client. By the time I (or the other dev) are able to clarify to the client the boss jumps in with a random comment that is either completely irrelevant to the discussion at hand (showing he wasn't paying attention) or that undermines all we had done up to that point. At this point the project manager then sums it all up with something like "great meeting" and "we'll send you an email". Now both the client and I are confused about what is going on... After the meeting the project manager again reiterates everything that we had already said. A simple 5 minute meeting is now 45 minutes long. So. Stupid.
-
Whenever we think that we are almost done with the project, client realizes more things he wants in the product.5
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TL;DR despite 0 year professional programming I am lead of a large travel booking web-app, this is new to me and my boss, who has repeatedly ignored my advice and moved me on before finishing work. Client is not happy, project is way overdue, and yet has just sent NEW FUCKING DESIGNS.
Recap
https://devrant.com/rants/480004/...
https://devrant.com/rants/431725/...
https://devrant.com/rants/872255/...
Client has sent some redesigns of core search functionality on a project that is overdue and over budget.
DO YOU ACTUALLY *WANT* THIS PROJECT TO FAIL?5 -
I was hired as a junior game developer and I had a senior who was working alongside me on a client’s project.
Within one month they moved my senior to another project and made me the project manager of the project that I was working on.
Worst fucking experience ever. Client’s were unresponsive for a week sometimes and pretty strict when it came to deadlines. Needless to say my employer lost the client and I was made the junior developer again.3 -
I was temporarily involved in one project. During the handout I made sure to write a rather comprehensive readme file. Yesterday I got a message from the client asking about basically the first thing written in the readme :")3
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I have been awake for 19 hours designing and integrating a client web project user interface. It took me 7 plus minutes to type this rant....
Front end ie easy2 -
[Working on some really "urgent" report for an about to publish project]
dev: client, can you explain what this value is? we can't figure it out and we though tha...
client: im gonna stop you right there, DO NOT Analyse! we dont have time for silly questions, if the design says there's a 10, just put that freaking 10 in that place...
dev: but sr, we need to...
Client: what did i say? just stop saying things and build it!2 -
Client: I want a fixed timescale and cost on this project.
Me: OK, what do you need?
Client: We need to integrate our website with our CRM system, which we're in the middle of rebuilding and don't know what data will be available from it. We also want sophisticated Google maps integration, online sale, digital agreement signing and a customer login section that works as a social network for our clients. And we want it in six months time. And an app. And we want you to pitch for free with some initial design concepts. And we want details of you project management strategy.
Me: Ok... Do you know what you want your app to do?
Client: Yes, it's an app! So how much will this cost me?
Me: D':2 -
My worst nightmare just came true. Been working with a difficult client for the last 3 months (1.5 months longer than the project was supposed to last). The client has essentially questioned and made me justify every decision I've made about implementation.
Today, as I'm nearing completion on the project the client pointed out a piece that isn't being accounted for correctly.... and they were right. Going to take me several hours to make the correction. 😣1 -
Learning C# .NET Core for a PWA + server + DB project that a client wanted when he could have done all the backend stuff himself.
I ended up burning out because of that project and the crippling hate for C#.10 -
Important memos to future self:
If the specs the client gave you seem written by a confused pre-teen, run.
If the client says something like "this can't possibly take THAT long", run.
If the client can't pay you enough, but reassures that (in return) he won't stress you and let you work in peace without imposing deadlines: he's lying, run.
If he politely asks to do something but then when you say no he keeps insisting, Don't. Give. In. Ever.
If the project seems shitty and not likely to have success, but hey, seems also simple and easy: it's not. But it's shitty anyways.
And on top of all: trust your fucking guts, you've been right tons of times by now. You didn't want to do this but you forced yourself, because "it's still an opportunity" and stupid slogans like that. Never again.5 -
Is It correct to stop any development job because the client stopped paying? What are pros and cons about it? I think it is good, you won't work for free but I've heard some people say "It's better someone owes you money rather to have no job". I really don't like that point of view. Any other industry stop it's activities when you stop paying them... However I'm asking this because what happens if that client is a big client? Say... Walmart. Would you keep working on it's project even when it's not paying?11
-
https://reddit.com/r/programming/...
"I didn't get paid so I open-sourced my client's project". What do you think about this approach, folks? Pretty neat to me, plus people get good free stuffs! Unless the client finds out about the cod- Who am I kidding? They're client!9 -
We accepted a property listing project for a client.
I have been looking online for references and inspiration regarding design, features, plugins etc.
And this is what I just found. I shit you not. $20 and you get everything. WTF.
May be I will just buy it and give it to my client. $20 and you have like 40 lines of features, if not lied, which are more than enough to meet my client's requirements.
Why the heck am I working?
Am I the one who is charging too high to my client?
11 -
This happened a few years ago. We started this new project that was estimated to take 3 devs around 5 months to complete. We had a meeting where the client, the project manager, me and two other devs were present. When the client asked if we were still on track to complete the project by the end of September, the PM just said “yeah we are totally on track, no worries”.
Me and the other devs looked us straight in the eyes and nonverbally agreed that this guy has to be sniffing glue or something. For context: it was August.
After the meeting we immediately raised our concerns with him and our boss. The deadline was shifted and a freelancer was hired to assist. The PM quit shortly after and a way more competent guy took over. But the damage was already done.
In the end we finished that project in February or March the following year. Client was still happy but this shit triggered a whole clusterfuck of a year. Other projects were lagging behind because of this and we had to push out project after project that had accumulated in our backlog. -
Just finished a project for a client who couldn't even create a .zip of the images she wanted me to use.. /.- just to say it took longer to finish than it should have
-
My next project is a functional fitness/crossfit application and my client requires me to attend and participate sessions with them in order for me to understand and appreciate the sport. I got the point but OMG I only know sports via tv,youtube,etc.. and not really fun of socializing. I might die doing this project. Help me!4
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A client brought us a project once related to drones. Our team came up with a great solution for the problem and pitched it back to the client. After going back and forth and beating us up on the price, they ultimately got cold feet and stopped responding to us.
Flash forward several months and wouldn't you know it, NASA and Lockhead Martin have the same idea and file the patent. Could have been sitting pretty if the client just went through and filed our design first which would have barely cost anything.2 -
...a project with well defined requirements that doesn't change shape every day making useless any attempt to define a solid code structure...my dear client I can do all you want but you can't change your ideas every 10 minutes
-
Well I learned about sockets before I learned about REST so take your pick of any early project that got server data by opening a socket and requesting information that way every time a client connected.1
-
* Fix sleep schedule
* Eat better and gain 20 pounds
* Don't yell at future contributors
* Be very kind to everyone except that one "client"
* Review every PR with patience except that ones from that "client" because I am a petty maintainer
* You'll never understand the pain, "client". Be a human or eat shit.
* Maybe be a maintainer at a different open source project so I don't have to deal with script kiddies 24/7
* Fix sleep schedule so I won't be dev ranting at 6am3 -
Dear client. Your web development project budget has no room in it for me to help you fix your broken POP3 mail settings. May the odds be ever in your favor.1
-
A good project manager between the client and the developer can do miracles to productivity on all ends1
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Getting a project from a client: It's quite easy. I'll finish it in a day.
Week 3: import express from 'express'2 -
1 year into the project, spending nights fixing issues, but
today the client realises that things aren’t working out and we need to stop the project. 🙃
Does money, hard work and time grow on trees for you? NO CLIENTS ARE NOT GODS. They’re cuckoo.2 -
When a project manager files a bug report:
"does not match the mockup.
See G:///Departments/Digital/...(client name)/(job code)/(project number)/creative/mockups/round 4/final/final 2/final_(date)/final-(date)_v5.psd"2 -
So, i started at this company about 4 months ago. So far i mostly worked in existing project and legacy code.
We started a new project for a pretty big client, and i'm the one who's responsible for setting the project up. The last two days i've been struggling with database issues. Finally got the site running locally about an hour ago.
And now i am running into troubles because i don't know how to set up a project yet since i only worked in existing projects.
Great. Can't say i'm not challenged here! -
I think my client have a gift, he always know exactly where not to go or not to click...
Man, let me show you the prototype with peace !1 -
!Rant
How to tell a client that you are currently busy with other client projects once those are done then I can I take their project.3 -
Been developing a "3 months planned" project for almost a year now because PM cant say no to requirements, ive been finding previously disabled functionalities that client is asking for again, i think this is never going to end...
-
Amazing project I love working for and we're are the cusp of pushing out a big new update.
Suddenly Safari starts closing our SignalR web sockets the moment the page loads, and only Safari does it.
And our client has a hard on for Apple.
So it's considered a blocking change, even though Safari is only used by the client and none of our end users.1 -
Project for a client, release date: tomorrow.
We handed over the project two weeks ago, for their QA to test everything.
Guess when they complained about having no access.
Hint: it's today1 -
The worst project you had to work on? Or the worst client? I don't know if it has already been done :x
-
It's a shame how you as a freelance web developer complete a project and hand it over to client and you check it over and over and you never find the client use the project.
It hurts my feelings really really bad.4 -
Okay so I’ve been brought in on a 12 month contract as an external replacement integration architect, alongside a large IT consulting firm. Turns out, they don’t need an integration architect. So I fill my time coming up with useful tools around the project that deal with all the missing parts in their MVP: like monitoring tools, data mocking tools, you get the idea. Essentially doodling.
Client has woken up to fact that they’ve overspent by X million, employing 30+‘developers’, 20+ ‘testers’, n+ ‘managers’ on a ‘low-code’ project … result: project shuts 4 months early.
Q: Essentially client wants remaining four months work done in two weeks. Is there a German word for laughing, crying, and banging the forehead on the desk at the same time?
Supplementary: how cross will client be when they realise project can indeed be done, and that consultancy have been emperor’s-new-clothing them for most of the last two years?
(Feel free to perform substitution on quoted terms at your leisure)2 -
Client: How many days do you need for this project
Me: 6 months
Client: That's too much. I researched and found that it shouldn't consume more than 3 months
Me: I'm sure you didn't researched on gradle building process (-_-) -
Who has two thumbs and just messaged another dev about the project while they were screen sharing with the client...2
-
The project started as a series of individual prototypes. The client the wanted a beta app for a few selected clients, and someone had the great idea of just merging the prototypes into a single app. The attitude of the devs was always "whatever, this will be rebuilt for public release"
Over one year later, and after many different developers touched the project, the client wants it to go live, there was never a rebuild, and there won't be one until a few months after it goes live, and the project is buggier than it ever was.
A rebuild would have been quicker and safer than fixing the huge backlog of bugs, still the client won't accept a rebuild.
A few people already quit over this project and I think I will be the next one to hand in my resignation. -
> client has no infrastructure of the project
> dev like me still work on it
> I constantly request for mock-ups and infrastructure
> client never responds back, instead he raises issues ahead of sprint
> I snap back at him
> Client wants call now
> What the fuck
To be honest, I'm gonna take a stand here...fuck this shit man, no clear way of working
2 -
> Client: Could you check for me where did they[code authors] put logic for this and that
> Sure!
> okey, api endpoint here, hmm
> oh sure here is the database access
> where tf is some logic....
> fml, am I blind, lets check frontend
> FUCK
> it's there
> it's on frontend
> and backend just puts it into database, no checks
> FU0!@#% )(#*%)H )F+#+!!@!
> *to client* We need to talk about future of this project. -
Terrible project with unclear requirement, lots of legacy and a client that doesn't know what he wants. Quite a bit of procrastination because of this situation, then crunch day & night to hold the deadline.
Then the project was scrapped.1 -
When you spend months putting together a major update for the original scope of a project, release the update to a client, and the first thing they say: "Where's that new feature I asked for last week?"
-
When you said your Project Manager that you don't have experience with something: "ok, I will tell client that you can help them with that" :/
-
I just rsync my current project with one that is a week outdated. Instead of pushing, I pulled the update. Worst, it had a --delete flag.
Have being working on it all week. Finally client asked for updates and I instead pulled the outdated online project to replace my locally updated project folder.
I'm dead😪7 -
I just love when a client sends me a picture of text, then complains when the price of the project goes up. Time is money.
-
This 30 hour project is now 110 hours in and client is changing their mind so much that the managing director of the company is now sitting monitoring every correspondence between the client and developers.
#fml1 -
Clients are total assholes, we all know it, just sharing my another depressed instance.
> be me, freelancing.
> client sends in an image of a webpage
> le me gently ask "What is the functionality here since this has a form?"
> Client explains
> OK let's do this because I have other stuff to do as well.
> Sends in demo
> Client: "Numerous typos, send again"
> Okay, sends again.
> Client Rages: "This still has typos. I thought you were a good developer. You look like a has-been.
I promptly quit the project and tried to explain to him the difference between a "demo" and a finished project. He was supposed to check the functionality of the fucking form, which he didn't.
Got a call to finish the project, him explaining nobody is working for him for given budget, he can't afford anybody in this town (literally), and I am not going back.3 -
Finally found a use for my rpi 2 after more than a year xD
Small testing env for client server scripts and OS portability, later project buy a rpi zero W and try to use it as something probably illegal :/
Feelsgood2 -
Decided to do a project for ₹30,000 because the client is an acquaintance. After 60% of completion got ₹10,000. Since then I haven't heard from her. Project is now rotting at 70%.1
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Why is it always so exhausting to communucate with clients?
It's been 11 fkin days since I started working on one really simple project, but it's still not done because client can't respond within 1 day...1 -
When your project manager accepts a contract with a client with a hard deadline but the time needed is nearly twice.7
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When a client wants you to build a castle and demands an unrealistic timeline then tries to rip you off thinking that software development is a child's play. you drunk mate?2
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In a e-commerce project my client asked for tax calculation with static some x value all the time.
Me: As promised your site is live and please check it.
Client: Checks everything. I want this tax to be dynamic.
Me: That was not mentioned earlier. Now I need to redo the design which takes much time.
Client: You will just change the addition at the end then what's with the design change.
Me: ( I killed him already in my mind)
Truestory 🍻2 -
Woke up early. Drank coffee and my mindset is so ready to do some work. After 30 minutes I'm so sleepy like a literal crash down and will sleep now. Body why you do this? I hate night shifts. It destroys my body clock. I hope weekends and mall hours are night shifts as well.
Also I hate company internal system project when I am assigned to a client and the client don't know that. I can't tell it to the client and my company can't tell also because my hours are 100% committed to the client. -
Am doing an online shop for some client as a side project. The client never requested a module enabling an admin user to manipulate listed products. Now this cheap genius wants to be able to login as a seller and manipulate whatever products they've listed. So I told the client it's not possible to do that because passwords are stored as hashes. Now, can you Guess who's storing clear text passwords ?
May shit never hits the fan.3 -
A project manager broke down and started crying because she was told there’d be an onboarding meeting with the client. Another guy had to step in, because she didn’t stop crying.
Is this real life?21 -
Finally completed the stupid boring never-ending android project and sent it to client. Phew! Now I can work on the other iOS app which I like. Yum.4
-
Stuck on 1 website project for 2 months. Client is making changes to the project each time we go and have meeting with them.
GM be like, we will do it for free as part of our service.
What the fuck?6 -
Failed to make a decent demo for client because spaghetti code. I want to work on the project to sort out codebase to avoid same thing happening again, boss wont hear it and switches me to another project of which I have little knowledge of the stack when we have another guy who has experience in it.
My main project (the one I want to sort out) is so big it should have 4 people full time on it, but it has me and one part time outsourced contractor. I was hired as a meteor dev and he makes me work on an angular project like its totally easy to switch from meteor to node+angular+Jade.
I am a junior dev, boss has no idea how to project manage and ignores advice I give him.
This is going to be hell when we miss deadlines and have to explain to the client why their product has so many bugs.2 -
Just had a major breakthrough on a project for work today! The project has been going slowly the last couple months and the client actually sent a slightly concerned status request this morning, so being able to invite them to preview a fully working demo and let them know we’re starting to conduct QA testing tomorrow is quite a relief.1
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Creating a Spotify like client for YouTube, spent 3 hours commig up with Project Crimson. And it ain't even that good. Anyone have better name?8
-
After days of work we finally deployed a finished project to integration for the client to test.
Client calls... They decided to use a different technology. Project is cancelled. Wat? -
got two client who have an idea and walk up to us saying we should do whats best for the idea, We took up the project came up with the features and all specifics including deadline and client was ok, later on client says some things dont makes sense and reshaped idea, since we greatly want to increase our custumer base we took the change and of course deadline is altered later on client says the project Is taking long and insist that their change couldn't have caused the change in deadline. What the devil is that for? Well what I did was behave before the client and curse the shit in their lives behind doors5
-
I used to work with a client from Israel. Eventually we become good friends, We stayed in touch even after our project ended. Sadly, I haven't heard from him since the war began. Hope he's safe.1
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Today i sent an email to a client about some last details of a project. This happened in the morning.
The day is now over and got no response.
Tomorrow is Friday.
We all know now what is going to happen.1 -
My company got a project from a client to maintain it. I checked the database and found there's a column named "Sorry_Created_Extra".
I just saw my near future clearly at that moment.2 -
Working on a project that's due "yesterday" but girlfriend wants to go out.
Two bullets. Client. Her.
Which one do you choose?6 -
>Helping "friend's" final project on Networking for Graduate.
>MPLS related, some heavy stuff going on.
>Client asks this gold question:
"What does PING do?"
...
I feel sorry for your 4 years of study.2 -
When the project manager decides to change the ux of a project with out informing you and your half way through with original requirements.
-
Phase one of the project we assembled a team for rapid development. The client was enthusiastic about the progress that the team made in a short time. They specifically requested the same team for phase two of the project. Executives replaced everyone on the team except me.
I looked at the new team and basically everyone on it is less technical.1 -
Explain why a feature or request is a shite idea to your manager but don't accept 'well that's what the client wants' as an answer. Insist the useless manager twat should earn his money and not ruin the project.
-
I was in a meeting the other day which started with a introducing of the members and a basic explanation about scrum.
The meeting ended with the note form the client that the project was absolutely not allowed to cost more then X.
After the meeting a coworker asked who explained scrum to the client. And it was explained twice by two different people. -
3 days of workshops with new client done - happy days😊
Now starts the real project and the possible agony of dealing with all the things they forgot to mention and/or priorities to us🤘🏻🖖🏻1 -
To everyone here hating on Wordpress: What do you use for a small-medium project where the client wants to edit the content himself?
Its still the fastest thing for some projects imo.
Change my mind ☺8 -
The client will fuck me if I don't finalize the project, no I will fuck him, let him wait for another year hahaha, I have to live now.1
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It seems to be the new trend : building "boxes" based on raspberry pi, including sensors to mesure any sort of thing, and sending data to a REST API.
Was contacted for a project like this, to make the backend for the project.
I ask to the client the credentials of the dev who will makes the embedded dev, to know the format of data I will receive and send to the "box", the client respond that "I don't need to know that", and, besides, they don't have any dev for this post for now, but I can begin the dev for the backend without that, not knowing data structure, and will receive all of that for half December, for a deadline in early January.
Tell the client that his project will never be done in the deadline, got ejected from the project, client is pretty sure he will find à dev who will do all the work in 2 weeks.
Fuckin' startup culture.1 -
New project last week*
Today:
Client asked for the trello board of the new project, but I didn't manage to create it because the requirements are vague.
Finished setting up the board today and clutched everything.
Lesson learned: pressure is key 😂 -
I started this one project as hobby, later on becomes we and we search for client. He assisted upto 30% only ui design. Now I am working 18,19 hours just to complete 2 project simultaneously. horrible experience taught me make sure you make written agreement before working as pair or partner
-
Was working on a smaller new web project for our client. After 3 months of coding and a working prototype clients projekctomanager randomly asked: And why its a web application now? me: *jaw open*6
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I'm doing freelancing.
One client hires me for 30 hours/week.
And I'm are getting work irregular.
Like
1 week is full of 30 hour
1 week just 10 hours.
1 week 20 hour.
What should I do?
I try to get other project but most of are For a full time.
One Client hires me but at that time the previous client gave me a full 30 hour's work so the new client could not get enough time and gave me low ratings because of time wasting.
I'm afraid that can happen again.3 -
Let's say you had just received a freelance project, tell me more how you give the client a valid price3
-
Estimate how long it will take you then double it. After that split the project into milestones and add the days you give a client to accept the milestone. If you have a good client you will get done early and refund them the difference. Otherwise you get paid well for dealing with a dumbass.
-
Sometimes it gets really annoying when your client tells you to do something in the beginning and you do it, but towards the end of the project they want us to do something else.
Arrrggghh -
Spent many more hours than my estimate to get a project out the door. Client is now nitpicking everything. I know the client is always (usually) right but this feels ridiculous. His site is 20x faster than it ever was before but just one page is a little off _after adding more content_ and it's a crisis.1
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Have huge argument with my client on Skype about some CSS fix on client site. I believe i already fix it and can see it on my desktop, but client insist he can't see any different. At the end, i realize that i fix on my local and we both laugh at it. Just kidding, he never contact me again after the project.2
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True story: We had once a project where the manager tells the client we are using the Waterfall but internally the devs are actually doing Agile. >_<1
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Stupid sales department adding features to the project just to justify numbers of the quotation when the client has no need for it..
-
Finish a client project, with Laravel 5. Got a hang with the features and for once felt like I am "there" . nothing can beat me. then client request for the network to have no single point of failure.
I am like "whuttttt" how do I even replicate database and have fail over on it.1 -
So this week should be interesting. I am working on a (potentially) very large project for my current client and need to build a service that somewhat replicates the functionality of heroku (in that it needs to be able to load an app built in one of several languages, and spin it up in a docker container).
Unlike Heroku, however, each application also needs to be able to have a list of public and private (internal only) API routes listed and be able to dynamically route requests to the correct routes on in those containers. (Sorry if this is confusing)
Does this sound challenging and amazing? Absolutely! Do I think I may be in over my head? Yes, yes I do.
Has anyone ever built or worked with something similar?1 -
!rant
Imagine you're a dev for mobile apps (xamarin based) and you have a great project opportunity for a client.
The problem is that the project would (besides an app) involve a web version and you don't have any experience in web development.
How would you hire a web developer for this? Via freelancer platforms like twago, via an agency or request a project from some web design company?
Related question: does anyone know a good web frontend developer :)?5 -
I got a client to build a LMS. What are some easier way to complete the project? I am thinking of using wordpress with some LMS plugin.2
-
Being a developer is about signing up on things yu hve no idea how to do
It feels like taking a deep dive into the deep dark unknown
And reassure the client that you will complete the project and satisfy them5 -
I had a meeting 5days after accepting work from a client (the project was basically a mirror version of your typical job board with extra features).
The client and our project manager joined forces in labeling my progress/project/work "untouched" because it was simply still undeployable.. fml -
Working on new project, and reading "good practices" before starting the project and following them...
Until the client wants me to do it fast...
Fuck sakes -
when you've been working on a project for months, and your client changes everything a week before it's due
-
Person from a company I am contractor for tried to fuck me up and put me to the project with high money penalties without my will and behind my back.
I don’t understand those people.
You run a project do everything for them except delivering invoice to client and they try to fuck you anyway behind your or their client back.
You literally fight with people to give them money.
This all happened after me keeping their client project for almost 4 years.
Bell rings again to leave them this year after end of contract and don’t look back but I’m sad I need to leave nice client and application I was making for 4 years straight. I am oldest person in project probably only one that understands business behind it from ground up.
There was big rotation in project and knowing the company they will put some junior on my place that will break everything.
Well I still have some time to think ( maybe even couple of months) about what to do next besides taking some time off during this summer.
I am afraid that I rejected so many interesting offers during those 4 years nobody wants me and I got rusty with my stack I am no longer competitive.
I was unable to make anything during weekend and on Monday again cause of this shit.
Fucking people.4 -
When you finally get to sign a project off as finished, after the client has changed the goal posts 50+ times.
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I 'm auditing the code of a client application and :
How the fuck do you create an external dependency (private npm) with it doesn't work outside of your project?!?!?!?
If it needs your project to work IT CAN'T BE AN EXTERNAL DEPENDENCY!!!! -
Working on a project for 2 months now, and still got another 2 to go. I am doing all the work since creating and managing the database, all the html, css, js and php needed, dealing with the client, go to meetings, etc... The client paid my "boss" €4000 and my "boss" is only gonna pay me 12.5% of it.2
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Sometimes you spend x amount of time preparing an offer for a larger project to a respectable client. Then you might have lunch with your friend who works for the competition and do some shop talk while you are at it. You discuss in general ongoing interesting projects without disclosing details.
Suddenly you realize that you both are working on the same project by the same client and the competition is already hired for the job. Then you realize that you are used for benchmarking. =D -
Request:
Do not handover project to client before deadline.
They will ask to add minor feature that will cause major bugs.
Happened with me🙄1 -
This weekend I've spent 12 extra hours finishing a project for SharePoint. Gonna travel now to show the client the first version. Wish I could express how f***** I am.5
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Just finished a side project on which I spent ~400hours (pretty big side project...). Client still trying to pay me a ridiculous amount of money. Please someone burn those idiots.2
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When the client you're working for decides to swap the hosting for the CRM integrated site you're working on with no warning... for the second time in the project.
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So I have a client project that needs to be delivered in 3 months. The project size is significantly huge, so a lot of devs will work with me. Our seniors have its architecture defined in micro services but we have no clue how they work. I would really appreciate some community inputs on how can we scalable-ly use micro services.
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That moment when you have 2 deadlines approaching for 2 projects and then your client gives you another project with higher priority.
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Happened to me on my current project, a client said "I know that we'll have some budgetary restrictions, so I prefer to ask you a lot of features now, 'cause I don't know much time the dev team will stay...".
Thank you for making our project fail by asking too much ... -
I had a client with an ongoing project. Everything was going fine until her boy-asshole-friend talked to me by phone... He was so ignorant.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about the ignorant who doesn't know anything. I'm talking about the ignorant who doesn't know a shit but he is talking about it and refuses to get a professional advice. He told me explicitly: "Don't use test server for testing your project. Do it directly on production"
Unnecessary to say that my client "suspended" the project.1 -
Other teams not related to my project bothering me with some on top requests not related to my project. I have lots of tasks to do in my project. I'll put those to my client hours and tell my client about it. I will not put those in my non office time because during those time I am sleeping to help cure my illness. I need lots of sleep.
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A simple template customization job turns monstrous!! The client expects me to develop new templates as part of the scope.. 2/3rd of the project in! The hell!
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We started new project cca 1y ago crm like stuff so we decided go with electron + vue front and lumen for api
Then client wants dos like functionality and visually too fuck them ... -
Client: Are we getting the finished site next Monday?
Supervisor: no it should be the week after, that's the date I have on our dev schedule.
1st week into the project, we pointed out the PM messed up the project end date (he took beginning of the final week instead of the end of week) and apparently he(& CEO) didn't bother to inform the client about the mistake.
WTF PM you f-ed up every single project since joining the company -
The VCS I love is Git with GitLab.
The way client code reviews is via email pointing outline number for explanation and expects to send the zip file of the entire project via Google Drive.
why the fuck git exists?? -
When you agree upon a project and the functionality included in the project, and the client keeps adding more features.
At this point I would rather not have started the project at all1 -
Spending many days on a project, getting the irritating parts to work, you make a theme your client likes and you look at it now adding the so called easy parts and your like what is this mess
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So, apparently my client was about to demo the web app that I've just built to many potential users. The audience/users however is an top notch CEO's, and management from various companies.
Oh god, I hate working with them. They just so lousy and perhaps ocd or smtg idk. They literally changed the concept in the middle of development, and event CHANGE THE NAME of the company days before the demo. God, I hate it.
Should I update the repo with dickbutt pics and deployed it asap? I've prepared the branch btw. Its just a matter of click now lol -
Anyone have any final year project ideas? I'm looking to do either a Web application using an Angular client side or a mobile app using Ionic. I'll be using Spring for my backend1
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!rant
I just finished the first micro client project for my startup. Client communications and bureaucracy took much longer than implementation, and (because of that) the price I asked for was too low, but it feels really good :)1 -
I love my school sometimes... For a semester project, on the specifications, we have to use Github to host the project, the dumbass assistant wants us to use bitbucket and the client hosted the beginning of his project on gitlab... What are we supposed to use then. 😡2
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Motivation to work: 404 not found!
This project is going to crash, the client wants live but we have a broken ci/cd and the application is not even finished.1 -
Doesn't want to use VCS and wants to deliver a project to client.
Note to self: Don't help friends in their misadventures -
That feeling when you accept a simple project and when you almost done the client requirements escalate quickly. *crying*
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These days i learn new technology after using that in an client project. Sounds stupid , still works.
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The project I’ve been working on for the past one year has been put on maintenance mode so the number of deployments will be significantly limited (around 4 per year). So what does this mean for me? I will be moved to a new team? Or I need to start looking for a new job? Or nothing changes?
I’m backend dev btw— I don’t deploy it. DevOps does it.1 -
Sometimes, I just hate to go through all the information and provide a quote to the client. Especially, when a project is no fun.1
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