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At my study's final exams, I coded a system with login and everything included.
Showed it at the final delivery:
Fake client: awesome! So how do I logout?
Me: 😐
Me: 😶
Me: 😁
Me: 😓
Me: 😭
Yeah, you couldn't logout.30 -
So I learned something today. Always disable guest sessions in your Linux machine in a work environment.
Walked away from my pc to talk to a fellow Linux engineer.
Came back to a screen with pornhub and porn playing.
"wait how the hell? I locked my pc...?!?"
"ever heard of guest sessions mate? 😆"
😓
*silently disables guest sessions*
Well okay learned that one the hard way 😅30 -
Me, flirting with a cute girl from the finance dept. in the kitchen:
"Well, back to the grind. I've got this really nasty bug to figure out."
Her: "It's a bracket."
Me: "Hahaha."
2 hours of debugging later… it was a missing bracket in a json string. 😓11 -
Wanted to reboot my work pc today. I always do that through a terminal and I've got dozens open anyways.
*wants to reboot right away*
*stops at the last possible point to check if I'm not in a server-logged-in terminal*
😓
*silently logs out of prod server*
Well that was god damn close.28 -
*talking to a customer on the phone*
*tries to switch to the next virtual desktop for a terminal*
*BAM BLACK SCREEN*
😶😐😓
*wild Linux mint logo appears*
*computer reboots*
*realize that I pressed ctrl+alt+delete*
😅🤣
*explains honestly to colleagues and client*
Both found it funny and laughed, luckily 😆9 -
Had three servers running in prod. For extra security all of them were encrypted (hdd encryption) just in case.
"mate, servers need a quick reboot, that alright?"
Me: yeah sure!
"oh hey they're encrypted, what's the password?"
Uhm.....
😐
😓
😨
😵😨😮😧😫
😲😶😭
Yeah, i also forgot to turn on the backup process...17 -
I had just started my new job and deleted 3 years of data that the client had spent over £450,000 collecting 😱
another developer used my PC to quickly access the clients database while I was out the room as I had sql management studio open. I went back to my PC thinking I was connected to my local database, did a few truncate tables to test my software and :0 minutes later I get a call asking why there was no data on the server!
Thank god for backups 😓7 -
This pro developer in my work just made me look like a fucking useless potato today. Although he was really nice and made me understand what the problem was.
Damn man, he knows too much 😓14 -
This is an old rant from over 10 years ago in my first job at 19. I was tasked with turning off one of our clients email because they had left the company. Easy enough, logged into cPanel, job done. Later that day I get a phone call from the clients company asking if there was a problem with the email. No I said, everything should be fine, I did remove a 'joe.bloggs@blah.com' email address as instructed because... *reading job bag*... they had left the company. The client then said, that's my email you've turned off and hung up. Turned out he had been fired and no one told him. I felt horrible. I will always remember that conversation 😓8
-
Bought a tiny tablet so I can more easily do server management on the road/in bed.
I'm playing old school minesweeper on it now 😓7 -
That time when you search for a bug and find same question at StackOverflow, GitHub and Quora...
All from the same person, and all with no answer.. 😓🐜6 -
Went to a shop to buy bubble plastic envelopes (gotta send something carefully).
Walked out with a new Bluetooth music headset, couple of charging cables, Ethernet cable and a music input splitter and also those envelopes.
Why am I like this 😓19 -
#1
Fuck it. I obtained a Laravel codebase with 200 routes all handled by "mainController".
😓🔨
There will be rants.21 -
"alright, let's go to sleep"
*pulls out extension cord from monitors as I do every night*
*hears server buzzing disappearing*
😓
I entirely forgot that I connected my server which is running heavy and lengthy tasks, to that one, as well.
😧😥😬😰21 -
The Irish minister Rudd said today (for the second time I think) that 'WhatsApp gives terrorists a safe place to hide and execute their activities. Might be a good idea in the future to ban encrypted chat apps'. (not literally like that but it's a good summary of her points)
Imaginary dialog:
"okay so encrypted chat apps help terrorists and criminals to execute their activities"
"Alright, let's ban water then!"
"Wait what why would you ban water?!? How will ordinary people be able to drink then?"
"Why would you ban encrypted chat apps? How will ordinary people be able to communicate securely?"
😐
😶
😮
😧
😓24 -
"Oh you make games!
Can you make something like Pokemon Go? We you need to make it quick cause we only have 10 days till the event."
😓10 -
that moment when your first pull request to a major deep learning library is merged and you have no friends who understand what that means and to share your happiness!😓
no problem, you've devRant! 😁9 -
Before anyone starts going batshit crazy, this is NOT a windows hate post. Just a funny experience imo.
So I was tasked with installing ProxMox on a dedicated server at my last internship. The windows admin was my guider (he could also do debian). (he was a really nice/chill guy)
So we were discussing what VM's we wanted and the boss (really cool dude by the way) said he wanted a VPS for storing some company stuff as well. Fair enough, what would we use? I suggested debian and centos. Then we started discussing what we'd do if the systems would fuck up etc (at installation or whatever).
So I didn't wanna look like a Linux Nazi so I suggested windows. Then the happy/positive guider/windows admin suddenly became dead serious (I was actually like 'woah' for a second) and said this:
No. We're not going to fucking use windows for this. For general servers etc sometimes, fair enough but we're talking about sensitive company data here. I don't want that data to be stored on a proprietary/closed source system, hell what if there's some kinda fucking backdoor build in, who can fucking verify that? We're using Linux, end of discussion.
😓
I was pretty flabbergasted as he's a nice guy and actually really likes windows!
Linux it became.5 -
2 hours, maybe 2.5.
No one works for more than that, it's not how brains work. Or bodies for that matter, you gotta pee eventually.
OK maybe I'm pedantic and shouldn't count breaks... But then where lies the threshold? A fifteen minute coffee break? An hour long lunch break?
Could we use scrum storypoints to brag then (I once finished 12 points in a day!) — not really, because they're not standardized units of work.
Lines of code then? Well, the dev who copy pastes Java classes would beat the guy adjusting a dense Python script, without necessarily doing more.
No, the only true measure is of course grams of amphetamine per week, and in that metric I win from everyone.
😂😅😶😣😓😟😖😧😵😰🚑16 -
I might have posted this before. But I am going to post it again. Because emojis.
Me: 😁 Software lead I have finished coding the thing.
SL: 😀 Cool, good job. That is going to really help out the analysts.
Software Manager: 😐 hey I noticed you have coded a new thing and pushed it to integration.
Me: 😁 Yes.
SM: 😐 Well how do you know when it's done?
Me: 😑 . . . When you run it and it does the thing?
SM: 😐 Did you write test steps?
Me: 😕 Yeah . . . they're in the issue ticket.
SM: 😐 Yeah but how do you know those are right?
Me: 😕 Because I wrote the thing and the test steps?
SM: 😐 did you put any steps in our acceptance test procedure?
Me: 😕 No.
SM: 😐 why not?
Me: 😧 Because the acceptance test procedure tests requirements. There is no requirement for this functionality.
SM: 😑 Then why did you do it?
Me: 🤔 Because it was an internal request from the analysis team. There is no customer impact here.
SM: 😑 I really think we should write a requirement.
SL: 🤔 But what requirement is he going to attach this to?
SM: 😑 We don't have to attach it to a requirement. We can just test it once and remove it.
Me: 😒 SM, you know we never remove anything from the acceptance test procedure.
SM: 🙂 We do sometimes.
SL: 🤔 When was that I have worked here for twenty years and we have never removed a test from that document.
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
Me: 🤐
SM: 😧 I really think there should be an acceptance test written.
SL: 😧 Looks like you're writing an acceptance test.
Me: 😒 Alright as long as y'all're payin'. Shit I was just tryin' to save y'all money.
*acceptance test written and sent to peer review*
Peer: 😐 The requirement tested section doesn't have any requirements spelled out.
Me: 😅 No.
Peer: 🤔 Why?
Me: 😓 Because there is no requirement associated with this test.
Peer: 🤔 Then why are we adding an acceptance test?
Me: 😡 WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GOD DAMN QUESTION!?6 -
Junior dev: asks me an easy question cuz he's too lazy to figure it out
Me: listening, thinking he's gonna waste my time again 😓
Senior dev: eavesdrops and helps him out
Me: saved me, woohoo 😎
*Few minutes later*
Senior dev: "by the time you finished asking this question, you could have compiled the code yourself to see what happens"
Me: 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂😂4 -
#6
My client tells me there's a new bug with to-www-redirects. He yells they don't work properly anymore and tries to blame me. But fact is I know, they are well configured in the Nginx conf and therefore work like a charm.
I told him I fixed it and charged an hour. Motherfucker.
😓🔨 -
Friend just asked me to quickly type some stuff he quoted. Fair enough, I like helping out!
"you'll have to do it on windows though"
Ah that's alright haha.
*types in word for 15 minutes, one page done*
(note: genuine word and windows 10 without bloatware etc etc)
*presses ctrl+s*
*clicks save as*
*computer freezes*
😓😨
*waits anxiously*
*computer unfreezes*
*phew*
*presses save as again*
*BLUE SCREEN*
MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT. SOMEONE PLEASE DESTROY THIS FUCKING SNAKE LICKING, DOG EATING, COCK SUCKING OPERATING SYSTEM.
FUUUUUUUUUCK.29 -
Just learnt Node JS a week back for a personal project. Started working on it and had to get hospitalized for Dengue. Feeling like a helpless non tech guy without my laptop 😓
10 -
Me: I don't spend the prime of my life watching series, I code, I develope, I learn
* Discovers Silicon Valley *
😓6 -
I spent three hours coding some algorithm and then looked it up on Stack Overflow out of curiosity. Big surprise. Someone did the exact same thing but more effeciently, and had all the code in his answer on SO.
Ughhhhhhhh 😓4 -
I fried my laptop's lithium-ion battery by overheating it too much when gaming for 1.5 years now. Was only getting 20 minutes on a charge. Bought a replacement battery to install.
My laptop is full-body aluminum, and when removing the difficult-to-remove backplate, I sliced my thumb deeply on the razor-sharp internal edge of the backplate.
Hurt like hell. Took a while to get the bleeding to stop. I had to finish what I started, so I swore I'll be careful the rest of the time.
Yet somehow, my hand eventually slipped and I ended up slicing my OTHER thumb, on the exact same component! And the gash was even deeper and hurt even more! And took 3x as long to stop bleeding! I lost so much blood... 😫
Moral of the story: Be careful when dealing with full-body aluminum laptops. They're fucking evil and dangerous. Also, don't let your laptop reach temps above 82-85 degrees Celsius.
Thankfully, no tetanus from any of this. 😓
25 -
Don't be ridiculous and say Mac's are good for gaming 😣, they aren't.
Their graphics are terrible CPUs are shocking ram ... Average the fact they have fast ssds is great
But that's it. For their price points it's not worth it end of story
I used to say Mac's are worth getting if your a designer or video editor...
I have now changed my position due to the shittyness of their latest products
I'm not really much of a gamer anymore to busy 😓 but I can read specs.
People won't build games for Mac's especially now it will lower the quality of their product. I actually don't even see a point of having a Mac in today's world.
Apple are meant to push boundaries ... They are doing it all wrong now 😐
Accept it... And get a PC 5 times faster then their apple counterparts
I do fucking hate apple but I respected them in the past, if nothing but their clever marketing getting sheep to buy their products . Now I just don't respect them, they could at least try to build something remotely worth the money20 -
Friend: I bought a new phone.
Me: nice!
Friend: It's really fast coz it has 3gb ram!!
Me: okay... Other specs? Cpu? Camera?
Friend: 13 MEGAPIXELS!
Me: yeah but other specs?
Friend: doesn't matter! The photos are of 8mb!
Me: yeah. Best phone ever. 😑😓10 -
One:
Had a stack of harddrives with my important data, two USB drives and a 4.7gb disc, two or three cloud storage accounts.
Needed a restore:
Knocked the stack of hard drives onto the floor (all broken), stood on one of the flash drives, found the other one in a pocket of a pair of trousers which just came out of the washing machine, dvd too scratched to read and couldn't verify my cloud storage account because I lost the password to the connected email account and the backup email account to verify that one didn't exist anymore. Fucking hell.
Two:
Production database with not that much yet but at least some production data which wasn't backupped.
Friend: can I reboot the db machine?
Me: yup!
Friend: what's the luks crypt password?
Me: 😯😐😓😫😲😧😭
End of story 😅
For the record, the first one actually happened (I literally cried afterwards) and that taught me to update my recovery email addresses more often!9 -
Me: will you be my date this valentine's day?
Her: What? No ways!!
Me: sudo will you be my date this valentine's day?
Her: Hell ya !! 😘
.
.
.
Me: *wakes from sleep* Damnit, wish I could sudo everything!!😓5 -
Everyone keeps staring at me on the train 😓 what have I done 😓
I'm just a Insecure dev leave me alone!3 -
!rant!dev
Going on a tiny trip outside the country!
I get nervous as hell around airport security 😓
I get nervous as hell before takeoff 😓
This is going to be great.20 -
For fucks sack I just created my server and fail2ban already blocked 6 IP addresses dafuq is going on on the internet 😓20
-
It happened 2 nights ago.
We had a whatsapp project for the distributed application programming class, my project mate and me were coding for 2 weeks whole day to finish it, especially with the end-to-end encryption feature that teacher asked, till 2 nights ago the project was trash, the private chat wasn't working and and nothing else is done we had only the UI, we was really doomed especially we had 1 more day to deliver the software, and we decided to deliver the project as a trash and get marks from the UI and the presentation.....
Till the night before deadline at 8 pm
I wanted to try fix some interface pictures and to make it better......
The next thing it was 6 am and the project is full working..
When I told my project mate he was not believing, I had to swear multiple times fot him and hat to go and show him the project by the eye.
We delivered the prohect and got 22/25 😁😁😁
It was incredible I didn't believe my self at first place.
Sory for the long story 😓.3 -
What a fucking day!
So some many years ago, we placed a small and useful piece of code into a MySQL Query, which prefixes the order ids with a string and returns the value.
Basically
SELECT
CONCAT(“ORDER_PREFIX”, LPAD(order.id,5,’0’) AS order_reference
Now many years ago when this was a simple solution to a system that wasn’t expected to be running today, all went well, except today.... today that fucking line exceeded 5 digits
😓😍😓
I don’t know if I should be ashamed, or happy right now, a totally unfuture proof query that just rolled that little too far, or the fact that I’ve watch 100k orders role through this system.
Now for the clean up crew to do their job.... oh 🙁 that’s me too.
Now this doesn’t affect the order ids... so that’s something but external systems rely on that guy 😭5 -
#9
Of course they don't use git. And also they don't use SSH all changes get committed by FTP.
#9.1
When I started he gave me root access and I had to clone the whole fucking thing, wich was about 2gb, via FTP.
#9.2
He stumbled when I told him, that I will test all changes first on my local machine. They were used to work in production.
😓🔨11 -
Last week of my current job! Have to get up at 03:30 every night.
I fall asleep around 11pm every evening.
I'm getting used to 4 and a half hours sleep a night 😓
This is not good. 😩12 -
So this is a comparison of mobile contract prices in Europe which include 50 GB per month. I think I don‘t want to live in Germany anymore 😓
France: 14,49€
Swiss: 25,46€
...
Germany: 199,95€
30 -
The last 5 months have been tough.... My boss ( who was a close friend) quit and I become interim department head... Trying to run a team who didn't seem happy I'd taken the reigns.
At the same time my wife's ongoing battle with her anxiety had gotten worse and she really needed my help with everything possible at home..
In March I was confirmed as the HoD but I was still doing 3 to 4 days a week on client delivery, trying to support all presales activities, manage a team of 10 people, travel for work and support my family....😩
It really got to me and I was close to breaking... The worry of not replying to an email ASAP no matter what time of day would eat me up, working late every night... It got too much and I was running on fumes with my weekends just me completely wiped out and useless to the family. 😓
.....But.....
I had a escape last weekend to a 🍻 beer 🍻 festival with friends that I was considering not going too and just losing the money but the wife made me go...
And it broke me even more... So much that its somehow put the pieces back in the right order in my brain and snapped me out of my major rut!
Somehow, sitting with friends, making stupid jokes, drinking way too much and blocking out all the work crap gave my brain the hard reset it needed. 🤟
This week I've come back a different person ( wife's words) work is a breeze, exciting and encouraging.... 👊
I can't get enough of playing silly games with my kids all night
And couldn't feel any more positive about things if I tried.... Set that spark back for my wife too! 😏💏
So.... After that long rant 👀
Tl;Dr - work and life got too much... Close to giving up... Too much beer with good company gave me a hard reset and I feel like a new person.... 👍
Plus the team is now loving the new direction and strategy too 👔
Who says drinking is bad for you? 😂🍻11 -
I was checking an Arduino sketch I wrote in a hurry 2 years ago. I want to cry for the number of shit I've found there 😓
Picture + I had put as int variables that should have been boolean. I needed them for 0 and 1. As well as with no comments and no explicative names.
13 -
Every year my team runs an award ceremony during which people win “awards” for mistakes throughout the year. This years was quite good.
The integration partner award- one of our sysAdmins was talking with a partner from another company over Skype and was having some issues with azure. He intended to send me a small rant but instead sent “fucking azure can go fuck itself, won’t let me update to managed disks from a vhd built on unmanaged” to our jv partner.
Sysadmin wannabe award (mine)- ran “Sudo chmod -R 700 /“ on one of our dev systems then had to spend the next day trying to fix it 😓
The ain’t no sanity clause award - someone ran a massive update query on a prod database without a where clause
The dba wannabe award - one of our support guys was clearing out a prod dB server to make some disk space and accidentally deleted one of the databases devices bringing it down.
The open source community award - one of the devs had been messing about with an apache proxy on a prod web server and it ended up as part of a botnet
There were others but I can’t remember them all4 -
Fourth day at new job, hired as a C++ developer.
"We think you'll be a good fit in this team!"
It's a huge JavaScript project. I feel lost and confused 😓8 -
Taking 30 minutes to write a function that I later found in the standard library of the language. Silly me. 😓4
-
I fucked up.... Pretty big today, biggest in fact I ever have 😓
I sent an HTML Email to the wrong... List 😢
As true to my last post. I told the truth to the client. They are cool with it...
I'd of fired me
Happy accident thou... They got more activity then they ever got...
😢 Going to curl up in a corner for a second ...6 -
*finishes university exams*
*gets to code after a long time*
*cannot remember what the code does that was written a few weeks back*
Fuck 😓3 -
Fuuuck!! I'm 20 days into vacation and all I can thing is that fucking bug that I have to solve when I come back... Most stressful vacation ever 😒😓😬😬4
-
When your boss or client comes to you and asks if it's done, but also has a ton of changes they want to see implemented 😓
1 -
When you have a "GREAT" idea, start to work on it and after 2 hours you have forgot why you have started the project.
Me right now 😖
Sorry for my bad english 😓3 -
Sometimes having a family is more stressful than work... love my wife and daughter deeply but they are exhausting 😓7
-
Spent 1 hour "debugging". All this time I was running the old executable. Realized, took a deep breath, ran the new executable; everything was working properly. I love my life.
This is how you waste time, buddies! 😓4 -
#4
Only 7 of the ~200 Routes are named. The former dev just created URLs within the views with the url() method.
#4.1
There are just GET & POST request. Even though stuff is getting edited or deleted.
😓🔨9 -
Continue of https://devrant.com/rants/2165509/...
So, its been a week since that incident and things were uneventful.
Yesterday, the "Boss" came looking for me...I was working on some legacy code they have.
He asked, "what are you doing ?"
Me, "I am working on the extraction part for module x"
He, "Show me your code!"
Me(😓), shows him.
Then he begins..."Have you even seen production grade code ? What is this naming sense ? (I was using upper and lower camel case for methods and variables)
I said, "sir, this is a naming convention used everywhere"
He, " Why are there so many useless lines in here?"
Me, "Sir, I have been testing with different lines and commenting them out, and mostly they are documentation"
He, "We have separate docs for all, no need to waste your time writing useless things into the code"
Me, 😨, "but how can anyone use my code if I don't comment or document it ?"
He, "We don;t work like that...(basically screaming)..."If you work here you follow the rules. I don't want to hear any excuses, work like you are asked to"
Me, 😡🤯, Okay...nice.
Got up and left.
Mailed him my resignation letter, CCed it to upper management, and right now preparing for an interview on next monday.
When a tech-lead says you should not comment your codes and do not document, you know where your team and the organisation is heading.
Sometimes I wonder how this person made himself a tech-lead and how did this company survived for 7 years!!
I don't know what his problem was with me, I met him for the first time in that office only(not sure if he saw the previous post, I don't care anymore).
Well, whatever, right now I am happy that I left that firm. I wish he get what he deserves.12 -
Fuck my life sometimes.
I'd just finished my work for an ongoing project, it's been over 6 months only to be dragged out to be told another system needs an immediate change which at best will take 3-4 weeks.
Like seriously just let my mind come off down from the completion of previous project before dropping a new barrel of insanity on my desk 😬
I like being busy, don't get me wrong. but damn not even a day of recovery 😓1 -
#7
The former dev tried to implement redirects. He created dozens of routes wich lead to a 'redirectXY' method within the 'mainController'. There he returned a redirect Instance.
😓🔨5 -
My recruitment story is a bit funny,
i had two interview, first one was to evaluate working style, behavior and ethics, where the interviewer and i spent almost 20 minutes discussing video games 😀.
second was technical, was interviewed by a lady dev manager and the team's technical lead "which i didn't know their roles at that time" went really good and at the end they asked:
Do you wanna ask us any questions?
Me: *leans back, with one arm on the chair arm and with a curious look and pointing one finger at both of them😕*
So what are you two?
them: *both had a shocked face and looked at each other for few seconds, manager chuckles😓😓* Well i am the team's dev manager and this guy is the team's technical lead, and in case you were wondering, we are not a couple.
technical lead: 😂😂😂
Me: 😨😨 no no that's not what i meant i swear.
Interview was over, i left the building thinking 😢😢 oh god, i totally blew it.
2 weeks later i get a phone call asking me to come and discuss contract terms 😂😂😂
sorry for the long story
5 -
Story time!
Like I mentioned in a previous rant, I’m (or was) a coca-cola addict. Coca-cola has caffeine, right?
This happened a tuesday. I forgot my mug at home (I wanted to draw it a bat🦇) so I bought a jumbo coffee at a store near my office. I drank it, and then, all my partners went to the kitchen for coffee. I went with them and I refilled my cup.
I was working on my code, and suddenly I felt a strange sensation on my chest (I don’t think I could describe it, it feels like when you have intestinal problems and gases, but in the chest). I didn’t give it importance. One hour later I started trembling. I googled my symptoms and I found I had a coffee overdose 😱 But how? I drank a lot of caffeine in soda, but this only happened to me with coffee. This lasted 5 hours 😓
You, specially the most experienced devs and coffee addicts, how can I drink more than 1 cup of coffe per day without trembling? Btw, I have no heart or pressure problems, so I don’t know... this happened because I don’t drink much coffee?
23 -
Monday morning and Microsoft goes down across the board
No office
No teams
No SharePoint
No azure
Not any fucking thing.
Well done ass hats, not like I had anything to do today 😓1 -
Doing a distribution center job right now just to pay the bills and had to do voice order picking (with a headset and voice commands etc) today. Well, that didn't go ideal:
*girl walks by and gives me a tip/hint*
Me: *puts headset back on*
Headset voice: you've logged off. Truck could not be located by provided ID.
😓😮
I said "fair enough, thanks!" 😐4 -
#8
Instead of writing migrations the former dev implemented a migrate route. Wich triggered a method on the "mainController" to run several SQL statement and migrate.
😓🔨4 -
#2
There's only one model. The user model, wich is preinstalled. But the database has many tables. All queries are generated manually. Within the "mainController".
😓🔨5 -
Hr Interviewer: So I see you have worked for over 6 years, mostly with Php.. which one do you know? 5.4 or 7?
Me:
*facepalm*
"both"
*that should impress her*
Those are the people who suppose to find me a job? 😓 I'm screwed4 -
Have u ever had the perfect job opportunity and u screwed up? This idiot just did!! 😓😭 It's a 100% remote c# role. I literally had the job, all I needed to to was be patient and wait. But, noooooo I had to go and turn down the offer because it was "taking to long". He was getting the proposal ready and I was growing impatient. It's been almost a month since I started talking to the CTO and we were/are on the same level of understanding. He told me today just hours after I consulted with someone who's a business owner and he helped me write an apology to him. Man do I feel like an idiot. He didn't ask for a resume or references. Just seen my GitHub and a few game I did and let me talk to the lead Dev and I was in. The lead Dev even told me "welcome aboard, can't wait to work with you." AND I still screwed this op up!! Now he's telling me he will talk to the CEO and see what he says cause it maybe out of his hands.😞😞😞😞😞😭😭😭😓😓😓 What fool I am, eh??? P.S. which makes it even worst is that he reached out to me via LinkedIn without me sending him my resume or applying for any job that had posted.17
-
Fuck the new ECMAScript 2018 specifications.
https://youtu.be/s-G_RZ4RJLU
I mean seriously? How the hell is dot syntax gonna make it more readable?
Also, i love the brackets, braces and semicolon. Hate to see them deprecated.
Almost gave me a heart attack and my head was boiling watching it.
😓😌6 -
I was testing database migration and there was some issues which I couldn't fix them. So I drop the table just to test if the issues are still there.
"Why nothing have been changed?" After some minutes I realize it was production database which I had dropped 😓1 -
My app is moments away from getting deployed into production for the first time.
This is how I feel right now 😓
11 -
Security!
Offensive and defensive at both code and infrastructure levels.
So many times I see devs not give a flying pancake about security. Whether it be rolling integers for sql injection or permission guarding to prevent someone executing something they shouldn't.
Why is security in this industry always the last thing to be concerned about when it's the first thing that's going to kill your business.
😓7 -
Market Cap drops to $600 B
"I am not selling now. It will bounce back 😀"
Market Cap drops to $500 B
"I am not selling now. Just FUD. Fuck whales. It will bounce back 😃"
Market Cap drops to $400 B
"Haha. Nice played whales. But I am not selling now either. It will bounce back 😅"
Market Cap drops to $350 B
"Ok. The market is fully saturated now. Not gonna drop anymore 😓😐"
Market Cap drops to $300 B
"I think I should sell now 🤔🤔"4 -
I wonder, how will I ever able to understand memes posted here😂😂.
So much stuff to learn out there that I get overwhelmed.
People talk about VIM and bash and Emac and what not 😓.,and here I am studying border-radius in CSS😂8 -
My boss always like to say: damn, every time we fix something something else breaks.
And I always tell him about TDD, unit tests, etc...
He smiles and continues to work as if nothing have been said...
He sits behind me and is constantly "wtfucking" and I'm here just thinking that he might have broken something that could have been avoided if he listened to me.
We are working on separate projects now and every time I think that someday I'm gonna join that code it gives me goosebumps 😵😓1 -
Everyone come and brutally fuck and kill me for today I have sinned.
My SO asked me to buy a durian cake and I did. I am saving myself from taking a cab since the locations are a bit far off. So yeah 😥
I'm that guy on a public commute with a fuck load of smell package. 😭
I wish I can apologize to everyone on bus 😓22 -
*learning HTML*
*Finds a nice example for tables*
*Scrolls down then instantly close the page*
He is using IE8 IN 2014 😓😒
2 -
When i started my work I encoubtered this db(one of 4): more than 20 tables, some with 200 columns literally... EVERYTHING is a varchar 😓.
I'm slowly designing some normalized tables with real fk on new features and projects and people are like: how the fuck did you implement this feature so fast? the other guy spent 3 months designing this form (and I'm just speechless):
The form was some sort of crazyness shit passing input names as "name-of-property" and a file only to check if(name="string") then store a number value to an array and save it as a "number" (actually varchar) on the db. literally more than 50 if statements to do this.
Everything on a single table that made no sense at all.
Just wtf... At least my boss let me start if from scratch cause he we were always having panick attacks every time he needed to do something with it. 😂😂6 -
Reviewing code for applications after not working on it for six months.
Client: so what is the first step to adding our new feature.
Me: I really think we need to redo the entire architecture from the ground up. It won't work any differently than it does now, but the code will be cleaner.
Client:😓
Me:😅3 -
Finally my employer managed to pay for the upgrade license to have 80 instead of 40 seats in our CI tool. Took only 4 months. Guess who is currently using 110 seats. 😓2
-
!Rant && !Believe what I am seeing 😓
Just downloaded Android studio 3 to give kotlin a go to find out their designer is soooo much better now, I tried editing an activity with constraint layout and many elements inside without a single freez 😨5 -
I don't know why things work when I do but not for other people. 😓
Request to reset password. I did.
Said still cannot login.
I double check. Reset again and try to login. Success.
Said still cannot login with a screenshot.
😓 I think my projects hate me.2 -
It's hard to grow professionally as a remote jr dev, I wish I had coworkers to talk to/get mentor-ship from in person 😓4
-
So I just started going to university and have a subject called "programming", we are taught Java, Haskell and Prolog. Every week there is a sheet with homeworks, programming tasks. Often we get something like a boilerplate, so we implement some methods and stuff like that. Those tasks are prepared and created by scientific assistants. They upload the boilerplate and sheets. Take a look at the programming style they follow in Java. Actually I can't find a pattern they follow, except from the spacing between the lines. We are 1000 students in the informatics course, of which probably 10% know how to properly program 😅
So like 900 people see and adapt/learn this real bad coding convention. It really pisses me off, that they basically don't give a shit about convention or teaching them. I have to say that the logic some times is as worse as the conventions 😓
Besides I am not cocky with conventions, but I think at a high-class university they should teach proper convention.
16 -
Python syntax is almost like KARMA! 😒😓
Karma is "what you do is what you get" while
Python syntax is "what you see is what you get"1 -
Stupid me.
We were on a time crunch for giving a demo. A friend wrote a piece of code and he said it was working exactly the way it should be and that we can directly transfer to my machine and run it. He ran the piece (on his machine to show me) and it worked.
I take the source from him transfer it on my machine (because mine was going to be used for the demo).
Demo begins, everything goes smoothly ...all up until the point of the last module demo. Alas, the transfered module didn't work. Tried debugging during the demo as everyone was cooperative and patient. Turns out I hadn't done an initial setup required for that module. Embarrassed! 😓
Should have tested before the demo. 😞
FML. But from that moment forward i make sure to test every code I get from others as well as the one I write.
For anyone planning to ask me, I don't remember what the piece of code even did. It was a small time side project with a company. Not revealing the company's name.2 -
A client send me his firm logo in .png after .pdf in the first time. The background is white not transparent ... 😓5
-
#5
Of course the previous dumbass dev could not use the findOrFail() method, because he didn't used any models.
But he just implemented his custom get404() method.
😓🔨2 -
That moment when you must pull an all-nighter, but realize that you're out of coffee. And Mate. And Redbull. Basically anything energetic. That's when you realize you're fucked. 😓5
-
I have so much learning and projects I'm really excited to start. Now if only I can find the time for it.. 😓2
-
Jajaja a friend of mine told me that he was going to pay me if I helped his father with a small system. He told me he was going to pay me %20 and I only had to do the design... Then almost finishing I figured that he was going to receive the %20 from the total payment and I was going to receive the %20 from his part 😓😓 obviously I didn't finish my part and I didn't give them6
-
- Sometimes seeing all of you people have jobs as coders makes me depressed 😅.
- I couldn't even write a program (a few weeks ago) to insert an element into an array and shift the proceeding elements up one location 😩😢😓.
- Yes, that's how beginner I am 😳.
- Please, Don't kick me out of the community 😨.5 -
If you’re going to downvote my stackoverflow question, at least tell me why? What did I do wrong? 😓22
-
I hate tight deadlines, I'm frustrated, can't sleep, feels like I'm chained to the desk..
Up until I remember doing a 2 months work in a single friggin week, it's a one poisoned chalice 😓
1 -
Why are the people who give shitty design suggestions always in majority in my team 😓.
Fuck this world!!!1 -
Tried to write a short article about Javascript IIFE modules, ended up explaining about function block scoping all the way to closures before I eventually get to the IIFE module explanation itself...
I'm really bad at this 😓1 -
I am pretty much a designer.
I hope I didn't give others bad experiences~
Oh well I always loudly rant and get insulting when I see comic sans (in wrong usage) or ugly websites (not old or weird but old looking AND overdesigned 😓).
Probably that's what's most annoying when you're talking about me as a designer.5 -
This happened at the beginning of my first job:
Me: I want to clarify some things that wasn't specified in my task. I want to see if I need to do them and how I should solve it.
Senior dev: Don't worry about it. If testers pass the task back to you, then you do it. Just do as it is.
Me: 😓2 -
I think the best feeling is seeing you pet project slowly developing and growing.
I think the worst feeling is hearing someone 'meh'-ing while talkingabout it. 😓2 -
When your manager asks for, but ignores, your feedback on new developers after interviews, because "we need to hire so the project is done in 6 months"...
Proceeds to hire 4 junior front-enders with limited/non-existanttt Javascript experience...
😓🔫5 -
Writing hebrew in Latex using a template that doesn't support UTF-8 is the most archaic shit I've done lately. I feel like some sort of a caveman.
This fucking encoding inverts all letters so it can support right to left. 😓4 -
My biggest challenge has been moving away from an unmaintainable Java/Tomcat/Spring Security application server to a Node.js/Express application server. That handles single sign on and two factor authentication. In 2 weeks.
I'm a front end dev. I'm sure it's fine 😓6 -
I had a guy ask me to write a simple script for a simple card memory game. He wanted it scripted in JavaScript. Already I hate my life but I say alright and spit it out to him quick. Now he wants it on the web, Android, and iOS...in JavaScript 😓😅😂5
-
I can't remember the last time I had THIS MUCH FUN developing an Android app! 😳 Have a paper due, but learning RN is actually making this pet project a huge distraction! 😳 This is a whole new world of mobile development 😆, but what if another framework takes it's place 😵. But there's still people who know Angular, and that's widely used...right 😓 and moble dev has never been this easy, so maybe it'll stick around like Node...
who cares... I'M FUCKING LOVING React Native now!!! 😆
4 -
<internship>
Yesterday, was my last of Internship. It was wonderful to work with all the software engineers and the amount of stuff I learnt in this period was immense.. I would like to also give special thanks to my Manager who gave me opportunity and trusted on me. And I can't miss to mention my mentor. She helped me in solving so many problems.. in my early stages, she was my only hope to start things working.. she taught me not only how to program, but also how to program effectively. And yes, the smartest thing I did in my internship was introducing devrant to my mentor.. she liked it a lot, and her posts gets so many ++ compared to mine.. (m so jealous, 😝😜😓😂)
</internship>2 -
when you're on the cusp of finishing a feature that took 3wks up to this point to develop, and then your manager pulls you off of it
😓😓😓2 -
Explaining to the new team, all with experience, how to compile and what to do with errors. 😓
What are they teaching in school these days?1 -
Planned to pull an all nighter last night cause I was procrastinating the whole weekend and the project was due today. Ended up procrastinating even more and seeing random shit on YouTube. 🙄😓2
-
Anyone looking to make an investment.
Even headlines should be tested before release 😓. This clickbait thing has made it's way into articles as well. It says just the opposite in the article.
3 -
Spend all week waiting on my VM to be setup so I can actually work and get caught up... Crash it in 5 minutes... On a holiday weekend 😓
-
This Monday I start my first job as a junior web developer and a coworker already my first two hours will be free time, don't know how to feel 😓2
-
Just remembered that I forgot to add my Google apps work email to my phone after I reset it a week ago. 😓
-
I was cozy at home, coding and talking trash with my duck, then "real" life called and now I'm out in the cold. Nothing new here, just wanted to complain about something 😓
-
I'm in a senior level game design course, where me and two others have to create an actual game. I picked my teammates out bc I thought they've already taken classes in the subject(as they are both seniors and I'm a sophomore taking this as a final class for my minor). Turns out, they haven't taken any courses in game design and know nothing about the basics of making a game... FML, good thing they can code I guess lol.😅😓2
-
So I rush to job just to find a power outage on the building , don't know if I should be happy to have "nothing" to do or be sad cause I have a lot to do but can't 😓
-
What's worst than waiting in a queue inside a mall in the middle of Christmas last minute shopping spree?
Low connectivity when the only thing I want is reading some devRant post 😱😓1 -
Sitting here in Brazil watching everyone getting their stickers and knowing it will take at least 4 months to receive mine... 😬😤😒😓😓😭😭9
-
Manager: make some AI for this project it is simple.
Me: what are we talking about?
Manager: I want to get a report about any topic in our ERP just by talking to the software.
Me: 😓3 -
When you open problematic code and someone actually queried all the items from db inside for loop... And took only one item on specific index... Instead of iterating over items from query result... 😓😓5
-
I've been working from home for 3 months yay!) but today was the nicest day off the year so far so decided to goto office.
Well seems everyone else thought that too and also the trains were delayed. i.e. I had to stand all the way...
No big deal except... apparently I am way out shape now...
was planning to go walk around NYC too like I do every Spring/Summer (~1-2 miles).... Looks like I'm gonna need some prep this time... 😞😓😭🤕😧2 -
So I had a Skype interview today . They asked me to write a very basic calculation function.. as am looking at the question.. I was like that's too easy .. so I start coding and it just didn't want to work .. as soon as the Skype meeting over and they gave me the usual will get bk to u... I look at my code again and in less then a minute I wrote a new code that solved it .. 😓😭 ..2
-
Me: "ok let's have a look at this code I have to review ..."
try
{
* Some random unreadable overcomplicated shit code *
}
catch (Exception e)
{
// Useful for debug
}
😓
In which God forsaken crazy alternative universe, a "catch all" block that swallows the exception and does nothing else is even slightly close to the concept of "useful for debug"3 -
Dear god, tried to explain to my mum how to use a computer. Wait for spring creators update...😓
Everything went ... decent: learn opening different windows, closing them again, explaining functionality, which areas/buttons/etc.. are interactive ... and then comes the browser with its tabs😓
the only program which can open multiple "instances" of itself ... in itself. How to explain that? (i know that's probably not correct but that's the only way i can explain it) Needless to say she hasn't figured out how to use broswer tabs and what they are there for.
An now "Sets" come to windows. Oh boy how to teach that...?😥
... I'll probably just never show her just to keep safe😅8 -
When your code misbehaves in production and you need all the ducks in the world to fix the problem😂😓
(Marshmallow doing some serious debugging!)
1 -
Best: ...😓...
Worst: having to deal with excel data import in C# in a server environment without drivers for working with excel files 🤐7 -
Dev sin: when you're too lazy to configure ufw (uncomplicated firewall) so you just shut it down instead 😓
-
Wish me luck, I'm returning back to Uni after a months long hiatus. Algorithms, Node and rest API awaits me 😓2
-
Not training properly in the first 7 years of my programming career, which is theselast 7 years 😓
As a result, I have to re-do a big part of my work because I don't trust my older self around computers.3 -
Do you hate proxy as much as I do ?
Just spent an hour debugging my proxy settings just to push my work on GitLab. The bug didn't come from my settings but the proxy itself... such a waste of time 😓2 -
Gotta start some #NoLaptopDay trend soon ...
And try to follow it once every two to three weeks 🤔
My eyes are so fucked up rn 😓2 -
While fetching data from a cursor, cursor.getString(cursor.getColumnIndex(COL_NAME)); was giving -1.
The issue? Did not call cursor.moveToFirst();
Was stuck on this for 3 days 😓 -
People looking for developers at facebook using anonymous profiles, no project specification and ridiculous prices 😷😣😥😕😷😣😥😖😖😯😓😒😣😣😣😣😣😯😲
-
2 hours of debugging a web page. We had a simple border: 1px; margin: 4px; on the container, but on the right side it the border was outside the screenspace.
Like, gooohhh I hate this, is it some element that's making the container grow or something? Doesn't happen on all screen sizes..? So confused. No scrollbar so where's the overflow: hidden? ARGH I'm no pro at this! And this is a spagetti css file; just work stupid css!
The reason why, which took toooo long to find 😓, was that the monitors physical border was overlapping the right side of the screen, oh at such a suddle amount. Enough to not be noticeable normally, it looks completely usual, but it hid that stupidly stupid border!
I so hate/love when there's so such a simple solution. But now I'm gonna be stuck checking the screen border when instead it's my css that is off...2 -
Crated a small program that would make life with an external hard drive easier.
Part of it includes copying music. Since I didn't have the EHD on me I decided to test this part on my music folder.
After going though circles because of a directory not found folder, I decided that the problem was that I workout one 0 in the spelling of my user directory. Finally, I thought that it was fixed, I was all excited and then "access to directory denied (I'm paraphrasing)", this is my music folder we are discussing here... 😓😒 -
My graph based programming language. It'll feature graphs as data types!... whenever I finish it. 😓2
-
Trying to find a summer internship. It's mandatory for my degree, so I need to find someone who wants me. 😓 Suggestions?4
-
I didn't care about commenting. Now opened my project after a long time.
Me: What does the white and red lines do?
Why even I wrote this?😕😕😓😭
12 -
!rant && load('epilogue');
So I saw my little brother yesterday and... Hell, I don't know. The addiction thing is less a thing that I expected, it's just that he can't find anything else to do than going on minecraft multiplayer servers and play, play, play. Gotta be honest, his life outside high school is pretty boring.
I mean, if I were him with this the few responsibilities, I'd be even worst than him, so how can I blame him?
Still, I had a big discussion with him where I tried to make him see what could go wrong if he fails (in a soft way), and helped him with french and english homeworks (french is our native language but a pain in the ass to learn 😁).
I do believe that saying all this "plz don't ruin your life this early plz" stuff had made him react, I just can't tell how deep and for how long. My main goal was to make sure that he won't feel helpless if he ever struggles for whatever reason.
However, since kids don't get shipped with a README.md, I just hope I did the right thing at the right time, and that he'll actually remember this discussion. But fuuuuck, he's 11 years old 😓😓
Side notes, I asked him about being a developer but it's pretty obvious that it was too early to speak with him about this. Might try again next year or the year after.
Thoughts ? I'll try to answee to you all2 -
Got a file with cobol data in it.. Also got thr structure to read it, but what the fuck is COMP-3? Any idea how I can decode this into a human readable format? 🤔😓🤓
-
Wanted to delete cache for a project. By mistake I deleted cache and vital settings.
The good news is that I make weekly backups, the bad news is that my latest backup is 4500 miles away from here 😓 -
Trying to build a ros workspace inside VMware...
Called up the teammate who put it together:
Me: hey the workspace isn't building for me, do I need to setup anything before I type "make"?
Him: nah dude just type make and ur good, why what error are you getting?
Me: *describes error*
Him: oh lol I never got that error before, idk maybe your machine is just dumb
Me: *uh ok sure dude* let me try some other stuff
*Boots to native install of Ubuntu*
*Build successful*
Me: oh huh that's weird it built on my native installation but not on the VM
Him: oh lol that's not my problem
Seriously dude? First off, screw you Ros for not being able to build in a VM. Secondly, it's entirely your problem! Linux is nice to use, sure, but it's a bit of a problem when the entire team runs off Mac!
😲😲😲😣😥😫😓 -
Asked teacher about participating at local programing olympiad. Other classmates who are good at it said its not worth it cuz its too hard, but I still have hope 😓2
-
Work proxy, meet dependency hell.
Can't even install pip modules, everything has to be done through source 😓 -
I feel like I'm destined to always suck at launching websites 😢 whether it's DO or AWS I always seem to fuck something up somewhere 😓3
-
Windows has started to give the good old "An error has occurred and windows has to restart" error. Only a matter of time before everything is gone... 😓5
-
TFW my I have the same problem with Behat (ref. my last rant) on both Linux and Windows environment 😓😓😓😓
-
i really dislike inheriting depricated projects😓.
really wanted to use angular 2 for current project but our hosting server is outdated and nodejs wont run on it.
realy wish we could update the server, but doing this would break 10 older sites we are being paid to host .
any ideas?15 -
Damn feeling really happy. Finally I am able to understand and make my custom workable middleware in python. It took me 3-4 days to code authorization process 😓
-
Doing maintenance can really be hard work 😓... especially when nothing was investigated into maintenance for over 5 years...
And frameworks and runtime environment is outdated...
do you know that problem?? -
Last work day before the new year and I was trying to make the manager understand that I couldn't say the max number of characters of a line because the font wasn't monospaced 😓
-
Iphone 11:-selling one kidney
Iphone 12:-selling two kidneys
Iphone 13:- Selling two kidney , two eyes, two lungs😂😂
Iphone 14:- Selling brain
To whom I am selling brain:- YOUR BRAIN IS USELESS😑
ME:-why
To whom I am selling brain:- If your brain was usefull you would not sell your eyes,lungs etc for a phone
ME:-😶😶😶😶😶😶😓😓
Lol😂😂3 -
Ok, let's agree to stop giving applications names that are so ambiguous that they give no clue what the purpose is.
Google Play Store has top 2016 apps... Under "most innovative" is the app, "Eve" by "Glow". Is it a game? General app? I was curious and clicked for the detail...
I never in a million years would have clicked on that! Wow. 😓 -
I either underestimate or overestimate my deadlines...There hasn't been a single time when I have stated deadline in a standup for a feature and finished it on that day...It's either days before deadline or mostly few days or even weeks past it😓4
-
Hey guys so I am currently working in a recruitment firm. (Don't ask why.. it's just for money to fund my abroad studies).
My passion is android development.
I dont get time for development as i spend all my time on job and end up being tired.
My question is would it be awkward if i brought my laptop at work and coded during my lunch and break hours. I could totally do that.
Would it seem awkward to fellow colleagues if I brought my laptop and coded.
Can someone plzzz advise me about this😓😓9 -
well my username contains "bugs" within itself (rvbugs0), will people trust me to develop softwares for them .😓1
-
worst sin? 🤔
I guess not following any best practices, really bad formating, no comments, simply puting all code together just to make it work. I cry everytime I have to dig through my old codes 😫 such a shitty code, such a shitty programmer I was (am) 😔😓 -
Me: Google uses MUM to search things..
*My mum*: Even google uses their mum to find things. You are all hopeless.
.
Me: 😓
.
.
[MUM: Multi Modal Model]
3 -
How do I tell my “senior” co-worker that he’s a shitty person while working in a group , I just can’t tell my manager cos they both are good friends, I’ve tried confronting him but it didn’t make much of a difference. This is really frustrating me because I am always seen as the person who doesn’t know shit cos the senior co-worker keep changing the back end and my code 😓😓😓1
-
Writing my 2. exam tomorrow (1. one just slightly missed minimum of points)
in Algorithms and Data Structures... really want to succeed!
cuddling with my cat to reduce stress😌
wish me luck😅😓1 -
Back in school I could easily ask my older sister (my parents didn't/don't know any higher maths) to help me with my maths homework, like functions, equations and derivatives... 😊
Today I can't anymore because I'm the only one of the family at uni (fml a little bit (but I've got good friends on my side😊))😓 ... I miss those times😥
note: now I'm the one teaching my younger sister😎1 -
So for the last couple of weeks, I have been trying to answer questions on stack overflow but whenever i start answering it a bloody pop up pops up saying that the question has been answered. What the fuck am i supposed to do. Fucking rat race out there😓
-
The hardwork to find a good flat in the allocated city 😓 BTW any advice on buying a good android phone between 20k to 25k? (upcoming fortnite compatibility will be appreciated) I am moving from windows phone 😅4
-
Coming home fully energized to work on a collaborative project, turn on linux pc (quite old, but works best with git), open github, start git pull, open vs code, click on reminder to download new version -> open new chromium tab (takes longer than normal...?), open start menu
....
....
? ... pc frozen😔😥
forcing shutdown, restart ... wifi gone😓? oh come on!!😑😣4 -
Contributing to big repositories on git be like,
and here goes my push,
Wait, I need to rebase
Ok, done, now push
Oh fuck, I need to rebase again.
The cycle goes on 😓
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