Hahaha 😀

Some of them are ok, but unintuitive af

why not? 🤔

*attempting to flirt at the bar*
Hey! I'm a full stack developer, so I can do your frontend and your backend

I do programming with htpl

I usually hate joke/memes but this.

I knew this guy was pure evil.
Deployment on friday night !
And that too before Christmas.
Thank god Santa doesnt use Tesla

Remember to regularly defragment your drives on linux. use this handy command.

dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sdX bs=1M

Terminology:
dd: Disk defragment
if: input file (the pattern to search for, and should always be /dev/zero)
of: output file (your disk, /dev/sda for instance)
bs: blocsize 1M is fine here

----------------------------

"my app was already hacked so now it has natural immunity"

110% correct graph

it finally arrived

reality

When I was in school, I had a period called "computers" every week. We were told by our computer teacher to remove our shoes outside the computer lab to prevent viruses from entering the computers.

Hey here we go:)
My first comic series - “DevStory”

A story of two devs aiming at changing the world’s impact about cryptos by their own token project.

Bugs, cheap scammers, money, flying unicorns and a lot of laughs!
(Episode 1)

I will tell you a UDP joke but you might not get it xD

In India, the most common languages are: English, Hindi & JavaScript.

I have been working for my current employer about 3 years now. When I first got to work I was asked by another employee to work on an editor for certain types of files. We will call this employee Ed. Because his name is Ed.

Ed is a verifiable genius, and a genuinely great guy to work with. He is amazing with hardware and math. Ed has a need, or shall I say fetish. He wants an editor for some our proprietary files called "Settings files". They are just xml. Nothing special.

However, I have always had other priorities. We actually had a tense moment when I had to tell Ed my boss doesn't want me to work on the editor. I had started looking into working on the editor when my boss said stop working on this file. So since then it had become a running joke between Ed and myself. Well, I think it is funny, Ed smiles, but I know he wants this editor bad. Our boss even suggested at one time that Ed write this editor. He looked into it, but "other priorities" trumped this effort.

Okay, so now it has been 3 years and we still don't have this editor. Then I had an epiphany. Since Ed wants this editor I found an idea for the name of this program. "Settings Editor" is just too mundane. I now think it should be called: "Mr. Edit". I also found that the library we use for most of our development has text to speech built in. So when the program starts I can have it say: "Hello, I am Mr. Edit, the talking Settings Editor". I have never wanted to write this program so badly before. Muahahahahaha!

“We mob every thing so that means we don’t need pull requests, because by the time the code is committed it’s had plenty of pairs of eyes on it”

Well, I beg to differ.
Today I read through some of this spaghetti mobbed code to look into a performance issue. Wasn’t supposed to but bored stiff so I ‘went dark’ and did it without the mob.

After about an hour I figured out it runs a few lines of dubious code and if there’s an error it tries many times over with an exponential back off.
And each run of the methods will fail for sure because of how it’s written.
Someone must’ve seen this problem but instead of realising it can never work, they’ve wrapped it in retries and back offs.

So many back offs and retries that it just sits there doing this for 25 minutes.

But yeah. The mobbing works great guys, keep churning out this quality code. 😂😂😂
Can’t wait to see the back of this joke job.

This is not joke but fact

More than a year ago I write code without tests, I must confess its frustrating trying to debug without proper testing. testing is painful I must admit but you can't compare the confident you have on your code with the pains when writing tests.

About a year ago I wrote a whole software without tests and this words from a friend hunted me everyday till date he said, what cannot be tested cannot be trusted. Wise words.

I accidentally forgot to stop my EC2 instance.....

No joke, I have had to use all of my money that I made through freelancing(20 bucks)

Is that a full snack developer?

A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it then it is not that good.

What do I look like? A JOKE MACHINE!?

Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun? She was a roman catholic.

Maybe this is naive, but I feel if an application/feature is strategically important to a company, at least two developers should always be assigned to support it routinely. This great resignation is no joke, and I’m getting tired of being the last man standing here. I’m too old for this shit.

Manager : You really shouldn't be doing that

Dev : Its in my job description

Manager : Yeah but you still shouldn't be doing it.

Dev : Who should I hand it off to?

Manager : We don't have anyone else to hand off that task to.

Dev : Ok , do I stop doing it?

Manager : 😡Of course not , it needs to get done! I'm just saying you shouldn't do it.

Dev : ????????

Every time a read a rant about a company environment here I think: “It sounds exactly like my previous company!”

But I know we are in different countries…

I guess that when companies suck over a given threshold, they distort space and time like a black hole and become a unique super dimensional joint venture.

See a trick question,

There is always a man of the match in Football.

There is always a man of the match in cricket.

Therefore, there will also be a man of the match in tenis.

Comment below.

Level of anxiety = ((Size of the programming project code)^2) * (100 - Percentage of the tested code in project)

i really fucking hate books, books are so annoying. if you comment on this rant with "lol" or some shit, how is this funny? i have an extreme hatred for books and this is not a joke, i am anti-book.

CloudFormation: "IamRoleLambdaExecution"
Groot: "IamGroot"

A programmer starts counting from 0.

Don't try it now.

Reddit seems to have adopted devrant algo.